Hey guys, zipz up, get on our socials, Facebook,
Instagram, Discord, other ones, etc. Enjoy the
episode. and there's an issue of wealth disparity
throughout our worlds. It is a great shame that
even in this age of conqueror connection and
magical marvels, folks are still going hungry.
This is why I am taking special care to discuss
the deeds of Jack Black Trumpet. Though some
in power might not be so keen to hear them. The
civil wars on Taib stole many lives and left
a plethora of scars across the world. When battle
raged through the cabins of Delia, the local
Myconid people were left broken and deseret.
Growing up as an orphan among them, Jack Black
Trumpet's sorrow was a drop amidst the sea. Yet
as he looked to his hungry people, he decided
to make a change and become the world's first
luminary shift. Now he travels across all worlds,
feeding those in need and raising awareness towards
an evil far greater than any gloominary. the
sorrows of starvation. When it comes to combat,
Jack Black Trumpet favors his magical cooking
utensils as weaponry. A chef's knife for a blade
and a pan for a shield. Flour and spice bombs
for a zesty distraction or escape. And let me
tell you, his fights are delicious to behold.
Some might view Jack Black Trumpet as a luminary,
as he has been known to bend the laws of the
corrupt in order to help those under their thumb.
He's viewed by some as a thief, giving away food
that is not his to give. And his band of fungal
followers, the Merry Mushrooms, have been described
as bandits. But I, for one, view Jack Blacktrump
as a hero among heroes. Oh, if you're all inspired
by this story and feeling a bit peckish, be sure
to visit Sid Squid's trusted leak in the Didn't
Sing Nightmare on Sosunko, the official sponsor
for our intrepid toadstool. No more a gloominary
than Jules LaRoche himself, who... It's actually
noted that that's very similar to Jules. Maybe
there's a... Arnold Jules probably is aware of
Jack Black Trump, and this is a luminary who
probably came to Tithos, came to Sarula time
and time again. And speaking of this luminary,
thank you, Horace, a .k .a. Mr. Scaly Iguana
from the Discord. Hey! Get in the Discord, baby.
Scaly came out of nowhere recently and just,
like, beat the show so hard. It was crazy. Yeah,
yeah. It was awesome. Fucking wild. Every once
in a while, he just, like, drops a question in
the Discord that's, like, such a deep cut. And
I'm like, wow. I gotta jump in, you know, drop
the whole, like, family line lore of the, you
know, the Brass family or, like, actually come
down and calculate how long it's been since the
start of our adventure to now, which is, I believe,
approximately 79 days, by the way. Woof. Yeah,
kind of wild. But yeah, Scaly, thank you for
making me work, making me think and being a great
fan and just getting into it. It's so exciting.
I'm so glad to have your luminary in our world.
Yeah, yeah. We've said it before. It's always
really fun to watch people's journey through
listening. You know, someone comes to the show
a little later and they're like, oh man, I got
to catch up. And you know, whether it's a couple
months or however long, I don't know. I don't
remember how long it took Scaly to catch up.
Uh, but I remember watching, uh, their journey
and it's, it's a lot of fun. Yeah. It's, it's
always, always incredible. Always like makes
us feel amazing. Uh, makes us feel like luminaries.
In a luminary spotlight, cherry on top. Thank
you so much. Uh, now before we do any more chattering,
Jeremy. Hang on. We're cheersing to that. Jeremy.
Yes. Okay. We have, we have, we have completed
cheersing. I've got a quick intro scene. Oh,
okay. Let me get cheers to more. Oh shit. A Jules
intro scene? Not actually, no. Oh, no. No. Don't
worry about that. They're still coming. Oh, God.
Still on their way. Don't scare me. Give me that
fancy plus. Oh, it's already there. It's already
there, David. Yeah. I can hear it. I'm deaf.
I think one of the most terrifying facts of our
reality, of any reality, is just how quickly
it can be turned upon its head. Tragedy, horror,
these things can slowly burn away your life.
Or they can combust very suddenly, leaving behind
only ash in an eye blink. Let's open upon the
Shrine of Storms at peace beneath a sky of dull
gray. In the Court of Beauty, two of the Shrine
Guards sit in meditation, their Kabuto Helms
removed, and let the wind of the sea pull at
their long, dark hair. We see one Guard stands
at attention upon the roof of the central tower,
her eyes scanning the exterior perimeter of the
Shrine. And in the court of discipline itself,
we see there are four figures. One stands at
the gate while another watches a ferocious duel
taking place in the court's center. We see Akio
pushes hard off the ground, spinning his body
and his doled training blade in his mouth and
sending his opponent's weapon clattering to the
tile. And you hear a voice. Ha! He got you good
there, Suzaku! The watching guard is calling
out, uh... Akio just kind of follows it up. Yes,
Ruff! I got you good, Ruff! Now you must pay
up! He bows his head, sort of waiting, tail wagging
excitedly, just watching, just barely containing
himself. As the loser of the duel, this clean
-shaven man in his early thirties cracks a wide
smile and reaches out an open hand for a pat.
Another voice rings out, the guard on the wall.
Hey, Akio! It looks like you're, uh... Eternal
adversary has returned to our garden. What? Akio
spins away from the open hand. Damn the beast.
Ruff. I must go at once. He will not flee my
wrath so easily this time. Ruff. He grabs his
sword. I mean, he starts running towards the
door. We will need our gardens pristine for you
to hold a feast for Ozen's return. As he rushes
and the doors sort of swing open upon command,
all the attending guard give each other this
somber, long look. But their sorrow quickly melts
away as they hear the mad barking of the dutiful
dog moving farther and farther from the shrine.
We pan away from this court, over the wall and
back into the court of beauty, to the edge of
the court where stone steps lead down into the
pool along the sea. And we see suddenly the water
just breaking. running off of the emerging hole
of this 15 -foot -wide apparatus of the crab.
This monster rushes forward out of the water,
metal legs skittering, scratching over the steps
against the tile. The guards of meditation react
quickly, jumping up, immediately following protocol,
calling out the emergency and rotating up the
steps towards the shrine's center. And here we
see a blur of activity. In moments, all six of
the shrine guard meet within the central tower
and activate the chimes of alarm. As the sounds
ring out, a soft glow envelops the armor and
weapons of the samurai. They draw arrows to bows
and fire down into the court of beauty. These
arrows ping -ping -ping strike at the apparatus
of the crab, many of them pinging off, but some
striking home in leg and claw joints and in spaces
between the metal plates. The apparatus, however,
has moved to the top of the steps. Into the innermost
sanctum, its open hatch facing in. It shields
the intruders from ranged threats, forcing their
foes to move in close. Understanding this, knowing
the trap, the shrine guards stow their bows and
draw their blades. For they cannot allow the
intruders to linger within the resting grounds
of the Great Sage. They can not. And so they
charge across the Court of Beauty. The elemental
traps staying inactive as their glowing forms
pass above. They rush up the steps and come to
clash with the waiting, disguised oni who step
out from behind the apparatus, their hands alight
with magical power. We see the oni called Crimson
roars in incantation, and a ball of flame explodes
amidst the gathered guard. The oni called Aja
grunts his own spell, and a cone of swirling
frost rips through the weakened warriors. Battered,
near death, the shrine guards slash at the oni
with their blades and metal finds flesh, drawing
out wells of blood. The oni, struck by these
enchanted weapons, look to their lingering wounds
with some surprise and annoyance. They release
one final nasty trick. In unison, another incantation
is uttered. A haze of dark smoke bursts from
the mouths of both creatures and envelops the
screaming guard. We hear one voice cry out amidst
the smoke, P -Pirates! As it clears away, the
samurai fall, rolling and clattering down upon
the steps. Still bleeding, the oni turn their
backs on the fallen warriors and move beyond
the partition, out of the Court of Beauty, and
into the Soul Sanctum. And there they remained
for a short time, until hearing the panicked
cries of their subordinate. The oni return to
the Court of Beauty, facing down the zappies,
and now... facing down our heroes. Now, was that
a bit unnecessary? Probably. Probably. But I
really wanted to explain why the changes to these
Oni stat blocks and do a little stuff when we
get into this fight. I'm kind of obsessive, I
will say, about addressing and closing plot holes
before they happen. We've got over 100 episodes
in this beast now, right? So let me ask you guys.
Let me ask you guys. Because I'm curious if you
know of any. Do you think we have any major plot
holes that you know of yet? Most long running
table of podcasts I've listened to, I've caught
some big ones, honestly. And usually I can ignore
it. They're fine. But I don't want them in mind.
I want them gone. Not that I can think of right
off the bat, but I will bet you after this episode
airs, people are going to let us know in the
discord. You know what? You know what? Let us
know in the discord. Yeah. Yeah. Steven, plug
our discord. Hey, we've got a discord. Andrew,
AKA Hooli Forge knows all about whatever plot
holes exist, if any. You know what? This is a
challenge. This is a challenge to you, pants
people. Give me a plot hole that I can't describe
away, and I will cry. Yeah. I'm specifically
calling out Andrew or Mike. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Yeah. See if either of those guys
can come up with something. Oh, man. The fight
is on. But real quick, real quick, because it's
a super, super obvious one. I'm going to get
ahead of this one before anyone else does. Dragon
Bones. The book on serpent midges inlaid with
magical bones of the Drakon. You remember? In
episodes 98 and 99, getting a hold of a copy
of it was kind of a big deal for Fibro. But,
but, in I think episode 72, Fibro already had
a copy of Dragon Bones in his book stack that
he'd gotten from the book den. So, for those
thousands of you that noticed that, I just want
to say that first one was a knockoff. Bones is
spelled with a Z. Okay? No, no, no, no. Actually,
hang on. No. There was a second R in Dragon Bones.
It was in Erotica. What? A second R? Think about
it. That turns it into Erotica? Think about it.
D -R -R? In the words Dragon Bones. What do you
put an R in the other word? He wants to say boners.
Dragon boners. I'll be honest, first in my head
I went dragon bones? Yeah, that's what I was
going to say. D -R -R -H -E -O -N. That's what
it was. David, boner. Got him. Damn. Any other
business to attend to or should we start filling
these heroes with plot holes? By stabbing them.
Jesus. Thanks for clarifying. By stabbing them
repeatedly. Bring it on. All right. All right.
With that, let's get some music on. Wait, actually,
real quick, real quick. This is important. This
is important. This is important. Good thing you
checked your notes. By the way, Dragon Quest
III HDTV remake just came out today. So I'm giving
you five minutes to clear up this fight. All
right? This shit is real. Okay? And this is spoilers
for Dragon Quest XI. Okay? I'm playing the remake
as a continuation of XI's alternative true ending
timeline. So I'm very excited to change the personalities
of the party, come into a more brutal world,
and play in the draconian difficulty to really
play that up. So it's going to be fucking awesome.
So five minutes. Four minutes now. Because of
that time you just wasted. All right, David.
I spread my arms wide open. Kill me. That is
the shit. That's what I want to see. The spirit.
You also gave me a little bit more time to think
about it. And like, yeah, I think there are probably
some other people who could pick out plot holes
if there are any. Okay. Rochelle, maybe Meg.
True. Yep. Fair. Hunter, Kevin. Yep. Scaly now.
Oh, fair. Fair. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
These are people who, just based on conversation
in the Discord, I can tell they're paying attention.
And I'm sure there are other people too. You
have two minutes now. Make it count. Rain begins
to fall. I imagine that it was falling lightly
already as you had your parley in the last episode.
As Dresden stood across the pool from these Oni,
we see drips of water breaking up the surface,
ripples spreading across and out. And as the
negotiations went bad, as battle breaks out,
I imagine now the rain falls hard, the skies
weeping over. His blades ting lock together.
I'm making one little change to these Oni, by
the way, in the interest of closing up plot holes.
Because I didn't realize in their stab lock,
I missed it, I'll be honest. Big DM mistake.
I didn't see the flying. And I don't like the
flying. I don't like my giant sort of magical
ogres being able to just fly around, flitting
without wings. It just feels weird to me. So
I'm going to take flying away from my Oni. My
Oni have Water Walk instead because that feels
really cool and magical still. Kind of exciting.
But also doesn't mean they can't just, you know,
leave. They can't just leave. Oh, yeah, right.
We don't need to parley. See you. If they try
to leave now, even with Water Walk. Going beyond
those elementals, they're not being, like, inside,
they're not being sensed. There are more water
weirds out there. You fought one came in, but
there are more out in the sort of pool against
the edge of the shrine. So trying to get out
that way is still deadly. Yes. Oh, yes. And so
they are forced to fight. The Kenku would go
after Crispin. The Kenku is dying. I will not
rule a die about that. And we are at the top
of the round. Dresden Kelly. You are locking
blade with the oni known as Azure. This blue
skin, light blue skin. This thing is huge, bearing
down on you, standing upon the surface of the
water as you stand at the edge of the pool. How
do you want to proceed? I'm going to take a shot
at him. Okay. Okay. Actually, I will say this.
You did not hide last turn, Steven. As this form,
as the cracking happens, those last lines, the
Oni spins its head, sees this blurring form of
this octopus blasting down through the sort of
rippling water because it's aware of you. What
is this? Kind of stumbles back a little bit,
sort of stopped between two things. You now have
the flanking bonus because there you are. He's
on the other side. So yeah, flanking bonus is
there. Cody is scared. Suddenly there's a giant
octopus he did not expect coming into attack.
I'll take it. That's a 17 to hit. 17 will hit.
Oh, baby. Oh, dog. This one already got hit once
too with the thunderball. Uh, for nine damage.
Nine damage, okay. And here comes my second attack.
Break away from the weapon, you cleave -in! Thirteen.
Will not hit. Okay. Um, and then, as a bonus
action, I'm going to swap places with my echo.
Nice. Oh, gnarly. Okay. Um... Yeah, so, like,
you're just gone. Suddenly, like, the form that's
more physical of you here now becomes this shadowy
echo of yourself. You are standing to the south
of this combat on the other side of the pool,
actually now flanking with Akio. Oh, yeah. On
Crimson. That's really cool, actually. We have
Tuoni both flanked. Damn. That's really cool.
Let's mess along. Oh, shit. Okay, okay. You vanish.
I think as, like, you go, maybe, like, just noticing
something strange is happening, me sensing, like,
that presence over there, the Oni turns and sees
you. Foul luminary! You should have taken the
fucking deal! Who am I going to attack here?
It's my Oni. It's Azure's turn. So let's do one
on the Echo. And one downwards onto this giant
octopus that suddenly appeared. Echo first. Here
we go. Massive glaive swings down. Oh, my God.
What? What is it? It might be a maybe. It's a
13. Oh, hell no. Hell no. Thank goodness. That's
way off. What does Echo say? 17. Is it really?
Yeah. Holy moly. Yeah. Okay. All right. Echo,
bang, parries a blade. The Oni does not let that
slow him. He spins, blade whirling in the air,
goes into like a stabbing stance and drives it
down into the water, trying to reach down into
that octopus. These rolls are brutal, but still,
still, maybe. Nice. He's pretty low, this giant
octopus. 14. 14 is a hit. Okay, that's great
for me. Okay. That is, ooh, wow. Yeah, that's
18 points of damage. Oh, no. You are a muscular
octopus, though. And this is slashing damage.
That goes down to nine. Ooh. Because you raged
last time. Oh, rage. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes. So you're not actually playing the muscular
Octopus stat lock. I was going to say, I was
like, what are you talking about? Okay, yeah,
thank you. You got all your tentacles are just
like bulging biceps. Okay, great. All the way
down. Dude, Steven, you're so strong. He strikes
in and like somehow this weapon should have pierced
right through this. The sort of soft flesh Octopus
just kind of goes in a little bit and gets caught
in Octoabs. Did you have that one all week? No,
I just thought of that. Okay. That is my turn
for now. It's going to be Akio. Okay. Your grind,
rough, cannot be forgiven. Courageous. Yeah,
Akio's going to go for two katana attacks here.
Hell yeah. With the flanking that's only 12 for
the first attack. 12 will not hit. Okay. Parry.
Ting by the massive weapon. All right, that one
will hit. Ooh! That's 21. 21 will hit. First
one goes wide, second one slices in. So deep
into the thigh of this creature. That's eight
slashing. Okay. It grunts in pain. And now it's
its turn. How fitting. Ooh. I guess. Do the same
as before. One attack on Akio. One attack. on
Dresden. I'm even trapped in flanking. I try
to move away from flanking in any way. I'm taking
AOOs. This is pretty gnarly, gentlemen. Pretty
gnarly. Have we ever been in this good of a situation
before? This is going really well. I'm going
to go knock on wood now. If only I hadn't used
my most powerful spells on the Shrine Guard.
One cone of cold here. Oh my gosh. Oh well. Oh
well. It's fine. Hey. It's all good. Dresden
first. 18 to hit? No. Okay. Alright. It's fine.
It's fine. It's all fine. That's going to be
a 20 to hit a Kiyo. Yep. That hits a Kiyo. Uh
oh. Fuck. 16 points of damage. Baby. Massive
wave. Goes to hit you. You parry it with a blade,
but again, it's like the train just sort of fight
in a radio in the sweeping style around it. These
glaives are so good for fighting multiple opponents.
So as it kind of weaves away from you, the same
weapon kind of like the parried thrust swings
around perfectly and comes crashing down over
Akio, who just like takes this massive blow,
almost crumples beneath it. Yeah, for real. And
that's going to be Crispin. Okay. Crimson laughs
at you. Crispin is going to activate his Eldritch
Claw tattoo. The dark purple sort of inky smoke
wraps around his tentacles and empowers his unarmed
strikes. Oh my God, that's crazy. So now you're
just, you're ab filled, biceps everywhere, muscular
tentacles that are also covered in swirling inky
smoke. Swirling and glowing. Oh my God. That
is so cool. And one reaches up out of the water.
16 to hit. 16 hits. Excellent. Oh, you son of
a gun. Okay, so... How dare you? The giant octopus
tentacle is 2d6 plus 3. Now with the eldritch
claw tattoo, that's an additional d6. What type
of damage is that? One sec. Force damage. So
we'll do 2d6 plus 3 bludgeoning. 11 bludgeoning
and 4 force damage. Holy crap! Wow! Your guy
is now grappled. Oh, no! Oh, baby. Yeah, the
idea was wrapping around. Like, I imagine you're
kind of partially out of the water now as you
kind of, like, grab and sort of pull yourself
up, like doing a pull -up onto the Oni who's
staying on the surface. Yeah, so his, like, head
and face is sort of out of the water. Oh, that's
so cool. Roaring out. Damn, that's cool. And
that is Crispin's turn. Bonus action, by the
way, to... No, I'm saying that it's a bonus action
to use the tattoo. Hell yeah. That's Crispin's
turn. And we'll call it there. All right, go
play. No, what? Go play. Yeah, fine. Give you
five more minutes. All right. Sorry, I'm goofy
today. I'm only going to have to save for the
Kenku. Top of the round. Dresden Kellig, now
on the other side of the field, battling Crimson.
Ooh, boy. This battle feels so, like, perfect
for Dresden. These two twin monsters fighting
these pro -two, like, twin warriors. Like, it's
so cool. So, question. I just realized the entire
time we were having a conversation, like, you
were negotiating with them, there were two of
you talking to two of them. Like, two, because
the echo was still there. Oh, shit. Yeah, it's
really cool. Sorry. So, I get two attacks, right?
I'm not asking. I'm just... Yes. So I was looking
up if I can add legendary actions to a combat.
Can I do a bonus action in between those two
attacks? Oh, that's interesting. I know you can
move between attacks. After I said that, I thought...
No, I'm not going to do what I was thinking I
was doing because it doesn't make sense. I think
you could because you can technically break your
movement action up between your attacks. So I
think that would make sense. I'm curious what
the benefit would be. Well, I'm not going to
do it now, but maybe someday we'll find out.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going to go and hit this
fire guy. Okay. And not going to hit with an
11. Not going to hit. And then my echo. It's
going to attack the other one. Okay, yeah. I
love this. Yeah, it's so cool. Oh, wait, hold
on. Sorry, I forgot we have flanking. It's 13.
Still on it. Fuck. Hey, good on you, though.
Good catch. Uh, no. No. No. Yeah, that's a nine.
Two no misses. They're taking this defensive
position. Their weapon's sort of flailing in
the air. You know, just like perfect sort of
stylized like kata. You can't get through. You're
trying and like there's just like fan blades
trying to, you know, parry your attacks. These
guys are serious. Then that weapon sort of stops
dead in the air as this thing is going to swing
down again. Boy, this is tricky. Do I go for...
Roll a die real fast. Okay, once again, breaking
it up. One on the Echo, one on Crispin de Tentacles.
Which one's first? The first will be the Echo.
Okay. Ooh, I think that will do it. That's an
18 to hit. Yeah, that'll hit. Okay. Echo's gone.
Echo, yeah, Echo just... Hold on, hold on, wait.
What? This was the blue one attacking the Echo?
Yes. It's grappled. It has disadvantage. Is it
grappled or restrained? Does it specify it's
restrained? It says grappled. Grappled means
I cannot move. It does not give me the advantage
unless I am fully restrained. Oh, really? Damn.
Yeah, grappled is really strange. But some creatures,
when they grapple, it automatically restrains.
Well, then what's the damn point? Basically,
it means I cannot move. And if you were to do
things like, say, making me prone, I have no
movement speed, then I would stay prone. I would
not be able to get up, which would give that
disadvantage. So there's a few ways you can utilize
grapple. It's almost like disadvantage. It's
like restrain light, and you can build off of
it into restrain if you kind of know how to move
things around. Oh, yeah. Grapple mixed up with
the restrain condition. And yeah, I guess I'm
going to stay grappled because I just realized
I could have tried. Man, I should have attacked
you twice. I forgot I was grabbed by this thing.
Hey, you know what? Too late. Too late. Whoops.
No, wait. You said you're a giant octopus? Yeah,
he's a giant octopus. Until the grapple ends,
the target is restrained. Oh, yeah, it's right
there. You just got to keep reading. Ooh. I thought
so. I was thinking, okay. I was just looking.
You were like, does it say grappled or restrained?
So I'm reading through it, and the first word
that had come across is grappled. And I'm like,
yeah, it says grappled. Okay, so we try to swing
down. It might not hit. It will still hit. Higher
roll. Hey, good catch up. Comes down. Echo just,
boom, explodes away. The tile cracks as the thing
easily cleaves through what it thought was probably
like this meaty form. But the second the echo
takes damage, it kind of vanishes. Second attack,
driving straight down into you. Still restrained
though, so let's see what happens. That is a
big maybe. to 12 to hit 12 misses oh yeah thank
goodness that's huge yeah not a good roll not
a good one oh yeah so echo explodes weapon comes
down tries driving it to you i imagine like it
like it like turns the weapon down almost like
like cutting down towards itself. You're, like,
grappling with its chest, and tentacles reach
out around its arms. You're, like, fighting,
and this blade is coming closer and closer to
you, but you're, like, pulling it back just barely,
and that's sort of keeping the blade out of your
octopus flesh. And that's Kyo. Okay, Kyo is going
to rinse and repeat, man. I really need this
guy to hit. He's got improved critical, like...
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm going to do two. It hasn't
happened yet. No, it hasn't happened yet. I'm
going to do two katana attacks. Let's race to
see who crits first. I am fucking due. So due.
You're fucking due. Nope. That first one is a
two on the die, so that's not going to do it.
Oh, boy. Add a zero onto the other side of that.
Yeah, even still. There we go. Natural 20. Akio
just left a big old doggy crit in the pool. Doggy
crit in the pool. Oh, my God. Okay, excellent.
Oh, gross. I don't want to swim anymore. All
right, 2d4 plus 4 slashing damage now. Oh, that's
pretty good. First roll was a 1. Second roll
was a three! Only eight slashing damage on the
crit. Oh, my God. D4? D8. Oh, this is a D4. All
right, okay. Yeah, cool. I mean, I rolled like
it was a D4. So what was the damage again? Eight.
Eight total. Eight total on the crit. Still cuts
through. Ching, ching. I mean, we're a lot worse
without a crit. Yeah. Still managed to, like,
break past the weapon, get, like, two slices
right across the chest. Crimson's got to call
him, like, full feral into the fight crazy. Starts
swinging out crazy. Let me see here. I'm going
to... I mean... Do I just... Yeah, you know what?
Time for these guys to play a little smart. These
guys got cut by this dog. Now I'm going to cut
down this dog. Two attacks on the Kyo. God. At
least... Well, if a Kyo goes down the first time,
then I won't keep going. But... I need to drop.
I need to drop. Flanking's a problem. Someone's
got to drop. First attack's going to hit. Yeah,
he's going down then. Oh yeah, he's going down.
Just to reverse your shits and boobles. It's
14 points of damage. Yeah, way down. Slashes
down. Akio puts up this one mighty thrust and
it's cut down brutally. All right. Discord. We're
going to try to save him. Discord. Steven got
it bad last time. It was funny. So, yeah. So,
Sentinel. Guardian. Oh! Uh -huh. Immediately
after a creature within five feet of you takes
the disengage action or hits a target other than
you with an attack, you can make an opportunity
to attack. That's pretty cool. I love this. You
see Akio slide, drops down right into his own
crit. Fuck you. He tries to get angry. Reaches
out. Sees the opening. Strikes. I crit my head.
What the hell? Wait. Wait. Hold on. I have something
for this, too. Uh -huh. Hold on. Hang on. Hang
on. Hold on. Hold on. Shirts are off. Wait, no.
The shirts. It's been a few episodes. What were
you doing? What was your thing? Take your shirt
off. I have piercer. I have piercer. David, he's
got piercer. You better put your shirt back on.
Oh, baby. On a critical hit, you can roll one
additional damage die. Oh, my God. So what is
that? That's three die. So it's double the damage
die and then an additional damage die. Oh, man.
3d8 plus six. Dude. He's got a 1d8 for his damage
die? Plus six, yeah. Dresden. Pissed. Oh, it's
because he has a shield. So he's not too heavy.
I rolled the same number three fucking times.
Was it a one? I hope. Seven. Whoa. So that is
27 points of damage. You're fucking with me.
Hell yeah. You just leap onto this thing's back
and drive this so deep down, like right under
its neck, sort of between its shoulder blade
and its neck. It screams. Like echoing across
the water, out into the pool outside. Blood bursts
out around your Warpix blade. Dude, fucking amazing.
Hell yeah. Holy shit. Crazy enough, it's still
my turn though. Because that was actually...
That was just an AOL. That's so bullshit. Wow.
Yeah, it wasn't even your... 27 damage on your
turn. This thing shakes you off, spins around.
It's going to come at you so hard. Dude. Hey,
crit? Crit? Dude. Come on, this is it. I just
got to use two things that I've been dying to
use. I've never used Piercer. I've never gotten
a chance to use it yet. You haven't? Yeah. It
was cool as hell. I finally do. In a dramatic
moment, you saw your ally drop. You just went
through hell to save this dog from drowning.
And now this thing has cut it down so callously.
And now it's going to do the same to you. Come
on, give me that crit. Give me that crit. Come
on. It's a little bit too! It's so cold. It's
so cold. uh yeah it comes down at you uh uh it's
still the wound pumping blood uh there's no strength
behind this attack you got it right in the shoulder
it's still kind of stumbling from that you easily
bash this thing away with your shield uh it just
looks terrified and that's crispin okay i'm getting
my ass kicked how the turntables Let me just
see here. Okay. Crispin. I can freely move this
guy wherever I want to now, right? Yes, you can
move him. You can only move half your speed,
but you basically move with him. So basically,
you're slowed. to half speed, but you can move
him with you. Okay, that's great. I'm going to
back up. Crispin's going to back up into like
the center of the pool. Just pulling him. Is
he like, so he has water walk. Are you pulling
him down at all? I imagine you could if you would
use force pull as like his, you know, sort of
enchanted feet through the waves and into the
water. Yeah, I either want to pull him down and
then pull him to the center of the pool or pull
him to the center of the pool and then pull him
down. Hell yes. I don't even know if that's going
to give me any mechanical advantage or anything.
Release me. I'm getting yanked down and down.
So now we're in the center of this pool, underwater,
and Crispin has advantage on his attacks. Is
this restrained? This sucks. Oh, my God. And
you get your magical tattoo shit. And your strength
bonus for rage. Remember, plus two on the damage.
Yes. Or is it plus three now? Is it based on
your... I think it's still plus two. I can double
check super fast. Yeah, plus two. Melee damage,
strength weapons. Hell yeah. Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. It says with strength weapons, though.
Does that count for arm strength? We've talked
about how muscular these tentacles are. Yeah,
okay. These aren't strength -based tentacles
at this point. I don't know what is. Okay, sure.
So that's... Let me see. And they do, by the
stat block, use strength as the actual thing.
So you're good. That's 15. 15? 15 to hit. To
hit? We'll miss. actually will miss. He's fighting
hard. He's trying to get himself in. He's jagging.
Wait a second. Yeah. Didn't I roll a 14 on him
and it hit? No. It was a 16. Was it? Oh. Okay.
Well, that's a stinker. But now you're just thrashing,
fighting the water, churning out waves, blasting
out from the center of the pool, underneath the
heavy falling rain as you are struggling in the
water. A kaiju battle up in there. Hold on. Oh,
well. Five minutes, Steven. I'm sorry. I'm just
reading Eldritch's claw tattoo. David, it's been
almost 45. Ha! We'll call it there. No, I think
I get an extra plus one bonus to my attack and
damage rolls with the Eldritch Claw tattoo. Wait,
you get what? Yeah, a plus one bonus to attack
and damage rolls. You didn't count that? I didn't
yet. So now it's 16. And now it's 16. And you
do hit. I was going to say, I was like, wait
a minute. I thought it was more than that. And
the magic of your grip starts pulling in just
barely enough strength in this tattoo to overpower
this thing. And you begin to what, like crush
it? Yeah, it just starts to crush it underwater.
Kind of like the water weird. You're just trying
to bring it down. So cool. That's just 10. 10
damage. 10 damage on 3D6. These things are already
pretty beat up. That's not nothing. You hear
like bones sort of creaking, cracking. Mouth
opens, water... A bubble sort of bursts out.
This is going real poor for me. That's okay.
That's okay. That is Singer the Kenku again.
Okay, death save rolled. Top of the round. Dresden,
that's you. You landed this mighty blow. You
parried the follow -up attack. This thing stands
before you. It's terrified. It realized now.
You don't fuck with Dresden. You don't fuck with
Dresden. And you do not fuck with Dresden's friends.
Nope. He's going to go in for another attack.
Hell yeah. Okay. Come on. Come on, me. Will a
25 hit? Yes. For only nine damage, though. Okay.
All right. And then... Still up. Another good
cleave. It looks pretty rough. Okay. I'm going
to use... I'm going to use my bonus action to
summon my Echo on the other side of him so I
get flanking. Oh, right. You get right on top
of Akio, basically. Yep. Hell yeah. Yep. The
Echo appears. And then attack number two with
flanking. Akio's talking real fast there. Appears
staying right over the... Almost like protectively
over Akio. Goes in. That's a 21. That will hit.
That will hit. Damn. Dresden putting out damage.
For an additional 11 damage. 11. Holy crap. 11.
Yeah. Okay. He looks bad. Really, really bad.
Hell yeah. Like, last stand bad. You cut one
side. A gecko appears. Turns. Strikes down. you
know, two sides getting wailed on, blood sort
of flying, splattered on the tile, into the pool,
and he is wobbling, barely standing. Oh, this
is rough. Okay. Okay. That's going to be Aja.
How can I? That won't help me at all. Okay, I
mean, this is, you got me good here, man. I have
spells. They're not going to do anything. Yeah,
you can't use verbal underwater, right? I have
to kill this thing. Oh, right, good point. I
couldn't really speak. I just got a strike. I
got to kill you. Not going to try to break out
or nothing? I mean, that's my full action, to
break out. I know. You can just grab me again.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to just swing it. I'm just
going to try to stab you. Or I can take an AOL
if you try to leave. I'm going to stab you. I'm
going to stab, stab you twice. And I'm going
to hope. I get crit with disadvantage. Disadvantage.
Come on, please. Come on, dice. DC is low. Or
AC is low. That might hit. 13. 13 is my AC. Okay.
Okay. Oh, thank goodness. Come on. I got to get
this squiddy. Really good roll on that. That
is. 21 points of damage. Oh my god. Holy shit.
Because you're raging. 4 to 10. Holy shit. So
it was a really high roll, but again, cuts in.
It's finally starting to overpower you. And again,
that same locked glaive is starting to sink,
sink, sink slowly into you, just driving into
your flesh, sort of towards your nervous system.
And I'm going to keep pushing. Second attack.
Come on. Come on, baby. Give daddy a 20. Daddy
at 20. It's an 11. No way. So it gets that far.
No farther is you. Again, just bolster. It's
like a battle of pure, raw muscle and strength.
Just this muscular octopus, this gigantic, magical
ogre creature just struggling, straining against
each other. And I'm making very little headway.
Excellent. And that's going to be Akio. I need
you to roll. You know what? Maybe I should roll.
Well, hold on. What? I want to talk about something
real fast. What do you want to talk about? Oh.
What's the dying dog going to do? Dying dog?
Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh, no way. No way. The dying dog
is going to take three buttons and get back up.
Are you? Oh. Holy shit. This is a fantasy pants
first. This has never happened before. You're
all welcome. Holy shit. You're all welcome. The
pants are off. The pants are off. No. No. I'll
keep them on. But damn it if that wasn't cool
as shit. Let it be known that David has continued
this session with his shirt off. Regardless of
the piercer. What the hell happened to you? What
is going on with you? You tell me this time.
You send these buttons. What is going on with
Akia? What is inspiring him to get back up? Oh,
my God. What does any good dog get inspired by?
Memories of his master. Holy shit. And good pets
out in the breeze. You know, we're on the ocean,
man. That's good pets. Pets on the water, like,
come on. Maybe there's birds he's chasing, those
little sandpipers or something. The breeze just
blowing against his fur. He's unconscious and
dying, lying there, and he can hear the ocean
waves hitting the sand, and he can hear the little
birds and the seagulls flying, and he remembers
Ozen, and his eyes shoot open. He senses something
as he's lying there. He feels someone above him.
This armored form of Dresden, the Echo, is kind
of like standing protectively over. And as Akio's
eyes open, this blurred image looks like Ozan
Yoshikata. It looks like the Storm Eye. I...
Master... You... You... I cannot die until I
see you again. And he stands or slides off to
the side, gets back up besides the Echo across
from you, Dresden, blade in mouth. And I'm going
to give you your turn with a Kiyo. Okay. I don't
know if that's the rules normally go with this,
but I don't care. On a 20, I think we did with
Zebulon before, on a 20, you get your turn following
the get up. I think that's cool. It's pretty
awesome. You spend three buttons for this free
turn. Take it. Yeah, that's fine by me. All right.
And going to do the same thing. That katana attack
with flanking still, right? I mean, is Akio and
the echo occupying the same space? Do we have
to pick one or the other for flanking? You can
still, because he can technically move into the
same space for half his movement, for like double
movement. It's fine. You can take the space and
move back. So you can take the flanking. So Akio's
standing like a guard dog, like between. Between
the Echo's legs, you know what I mean? Yes, yeah.
All right. Like this combined sort of yes. I'll
take it. 21. Holy shit. Wow. The first attack
finally hit the first attack. Six damage for
the first attack. I think he's almost dead. Actually,
yeah, you can stop after that first attack. Oh,
that's great. I had six HP left. Dude, the second
roll was a natural one. Oh, my God. The Oni spins,
hearing this, like, Akio stand, spins around.
I told you to stay down, Matt! No, you stay down,
bad dog! And just, like, sword slashed out. What's
it look like when this Oni Crimson drops? The
Oni has his arm up, and he's turning to strike,
and Akio, with his fucking adorable dog head,
strikes from the ground up, right underneath
his arm, up to his chest, and just opens him
beneath that, like, over his ribs there. As the
sort of magic. The blood and magic both sort
of flow from this creature. It just sort of topples
aside. It's standing still upon the surface of
the water, and you see it just falls, crashing
through. A cloud of red sort of appearing where
it dropped. How fitting to fall into crimson.
Holy shit. Holy shit. You didn't need to roll
a second attack. I mean, I'll... I'll let you
play it as you want to play it out because you
rolled the second attack against him. It was
technically a non -needed attack because I forgot
to tell you at the moment that you didn't need
to do it. Akio can still make a move here if
he wants. He still has one attack action. I don't
know if you can use it. I don't know if you can
get close enough to the other Oni to use it.
No, what he'll do is he'll use his full movement.
Let me figure out how far he can get here. He'll
start to move around the pool towards... The
Kenku. Okay. Hell yeah. It's going to take him
a long time to get there, but... Towards the
Kenku, and also towards the guard. He looks over
and sees them piled up. He starts skittering.
He realizes what's going on in the center of
this pool looks like it's pretty well handled.
That would be Crimson's turn, but it is not.
Would be. Would be. So we slide back into the
depths where these two figures struggle, and
that's going to be you, Crispin. Okay. Crispin
only has half his movement, but he has a lot
of movement as a giant octopus. I want to move
Crispin to this spot here with the phony position
between Crispin and Dresden for flanking. Dresden
or the Echo. So you're just going to the south
end of the pool. Who's here? Actually, that's
Dresden. You're right. So you're sliding down.
Literally, you pull him over, and he just turns
to see the bloody corpse of his brother, and
just like eyes bulge open, full rage, like under
the water, screaming towards you. Advantage plus
two. Advantage plus two. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh
yeah, that's it. That's a hit. That's a dirty
20. That is going to hit. Oh my gosh, this combat.
Can you finish this thing before I get my turn?
Really cleave India. Again, 10 damage. 10 damage.
Still up. Bone still sort of breaking. Weapon
sort of being pulled further and further out
as you're just strangling this thing. Maybe you've
got like a one round its neck now. It's kind
of... His eyes are bulging for more than just
rage as you kind of squeeze and squeeze. Each
attack is a new tentacle that just comes and
grabs around him. Oh, that's so cool. Holy shit.
The inky darkness sort of spreading into him.
Damn, that's crazy. Okay, okay. Oh, it's BCM.
I can't cast it. I could try to get out of this.
I have the way, but I can't do it because I'm
underwater. I have gaseous form. I could just
leave. I can't. I could try to leave, but I can't
get out of your grip. I can't get enough to speak.
So I just, I want to be sort of clear. Can he
be both underwater and still get flanking with
Dresden? I mean, I guess he can be just under
the water surface, right? I mean, within five
feet of Dresden. We did just do flanking when
both Dresden and Akio and Dresden's Echo were
outside of the water and the Oni was in the water.
Well, he was on the water. The Oni was on the
water. He is down low, but I think... Crispin
also got flanking earlier when he was under the
water. The Octopus is kind of lower than him
and Dresden's above him, which means you'd still
draw that line through. I think in the case of
the Octopus being lower and Dresden being higher,
it still counts because you're pushing him. His
back is up towards the surface, towards Dresden.
He's still trying to strike. He can still be...
under the water surface and be within five feet
of Dresden. Yes, the flanking counts here. It
still counts. The shape of things makes that
make sense. Speaking of Dresden, actually, real
quick. Speaking of Dresden, that is Dresden's
turn. Alright, he's going for it. Okay, come
on. Give me a chance here. Give me a chance to
do something mean. Ah, shit. That's a two on
the die for a nine. That's not going to hit.
Is that your flanking, too? Oh, no, even flanking.
Yeah, flanking would bring it up to 11. That
will not hit. Yep. Head on the second attack.
Second attack. Can you do this thing? Can you
take him out? With a 23, that will hit. That
will hit. You roll pretty good damage here. Fuck.
Damn. Nope. Okay. Minimum damage. Oh, God. One
on the die plus six, so that's for seven. Seven.
All right. I mean, it's almost over. That's me.
That's me. That is so bad. That is not a bonus
action, correct? It doesn't matter if I break
the... Oh, all I can do is fight. All I can do
is fight. Okay. I'm taking two attacks on you
again, Crispin. You're the one that has me grabbed.
You're the one I'm cutting down on. Come on.
It's not going to happen, man. Come on. That
will hit. 16. In fact, I'm just going to roll
them both. 12. 12 misses. Brutal. Dude, I'm so
cold. But hey, come on, this is 16. At least
give me the high -ass damage I want. It's max
in the first, minimum in the second dice, so
perfectly even. There's going to be 15 points
of damage halved to 7. Yes. So another small,
lighter blow gets through, trying so desperate.
The second attack tries to go in, and as it goes
in this time, it's like something just lets out.
The weapon kind of goes wide. This thing is wide
open. It's giving in. Yeah, wide open for Guardian,
too. What? I get to hit you again. Yeah. Oh,
my gosh. Yeah. Amazing. Let's go. Give me that
attack. Dude, Sentinel has been incredible. Yeah.
Oh, wait. It's flanking. You said the AC is 16?
I did say that. Are you kidding me? You gotta
be kidding me. I rolled a 7 on the die. Plus
7 is 14. Plus 2 for flanking is 16. Give me that
damage. Will you finish this thing? With 6 on
the die plus 6 for 12 damage? Describe your kill.
Yes. Literally the brothers. Right beside you.
This thing is, as it's being chased, it's choking
on the blood of his own brother. Strangled by
this octopus. Tries to get in. It finally starts
to slip. And you see this opening. What do you
do from behind? Dresden jumps into the pool.
On top of the Oni. Digs his war pick into his
back. Takes his other hand. Grabs the back of
his head. And just holds him down. He could drown,
right? I'll say it's more like... Well, yeah,
but in this case, for flavor. Sure, sure. He
holds his head down underwater. It's like this
combined brutal, like you and Chris and Bull
together's team sort of strangling... God. Last
bubbles. You guys are fucking brutal. Pure Hitman
characters. Dresden's pissed. Holy shit. As you're
drowning in the Keogh, is like running around
the other side and at the end of the combat let's
incredible blood pooling uh you finally can't
face this like uh as you sort of surface dresden
start waving the water out of your long hair
bloody watering off dude you can't climb out
what what what it's better be important what
um Trying to decide if I should say this or not.
Oh, God. What? I'm scared. Dude, if this all
goes down the right way, I wonder if we can get
Akio to be Blanche's new sidekick. Hey, who knows?
I spent three buttons on this bitch. Yeah. I
mean, hey. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Let's see. Just keep
him on your side. Akio moves over. to where,
like, the zappies were all, you know, the sort
of burnt remains on the tile where they had been,
like, destroyed, to where the guard are. I'm
going to say he doesn't go straight to the kekku.
He moves straight to the shrine guard. He gets
kind of sniffed, moving over them. What are you
guys doing while he's sort of observing that?
Like, this first, ah, Suzaku, ah, are you okay?
Ah, just kind of checking over everybody. Dresden
goes over and kind of scratches behind his ear.
So you got to move up behind him as he's looking.
Hell yeah. You did good. Good dog. And you see,
like, not only his tail is wagging, and not just
from the scratching, he kind of, like, looks
at you, and there's, like, his eyes are just,
like, do you actually see, like, tears forming
in these eyes? Maybe, like, higher intelligence
gives them this sort of ability to feel this,
the way people feel, and to cry, like, they cry.
And he says, they're alive. They're alive. Nearly
dead and sleeping. Some magic, I believe. But
they're alive. You notice it too now. The shrine
guard, their chests are rising and falling slowly.
They only didn't kill. They only changed their
mind about killing when they realized this was
some kind of setup. But until then, it seems
like their secret patron didn't want them taking
any lives. And so they did not. Even the shrine
guard were preserved. They look... bad you can
see now like they are resting they are they are
in a magical sleep as you kind of look over them
but like their bodies are beaten and like this
just like you know again singed and frosted over
and it looks like they are near death um as you're
observing this what are you doing um we can go
over this later but at least for now while crispin's
here in the water he's gonna dig through the
pockets of the Oni and just put whatever he finds
up on the side of the pool here. Hell yeah. Tentacles
just sliding into all of these robes. You grab
something and you're like, oh, whoops, that's
not an item. That's not a sword. Uh -oh. You
looting the body? You're just sort of gathering
those things to the side on the pool. And there's
this moment of calm. Again, overhead now, you
start to see it. These dark tendrils of clouds
have come together, almost swirling. It looks
bad up there. Maybe it's part of the shrine,
but I think there's a part of you both that as
you kind of come out of this, the calm begins
to wane away. As the rain dumps down, you can
hear the thunder, lightning sort of cracks above.
Something is wrong here. Something feels very
wrong. Crispin's going to swim over to this edge
of the pool, climb his way out, and he can hold
his breath for one hour while out of the water.
Full octopus. Start to crawl up the stairs towards
the door into the inner sanctum. Yeah, Dresden's
going to follow her around the way. I think Akio
stays behind, kind of looking over these bodies,
and the two of you begin to move away, move past
the sort of empty, vacant apparatus of the crab,
this big, weird, metal, steam -powered thing.
The sort of backslide is open as you kind of
pass by it. As you move beyond, you start moving
towards the steps. And, I mean, you did it. You
did it all. Did he die? Huh? What's his name?
He full died. Okay. Like two rounds in. I rolled
the one and I got three. Oh, okay. So as you
pass the body of the Kenku, Singer, full dead.
Yeah. Sorry, Singer. Can we see inside the apparatus?
You can see. You see like a bunch of levers kind
of all on the inside. There's like some like
scopes that look like here out the front and
kind of a larger area. It looks like it might
be able to fit three medium -sized creatures,
three like seats in there. On that note. As Dresden
walks by it to follow Crispin, can he look in
it? Yeah, you can. See if he can find anything?
So let's say you move into the apparatus, kind
of looking around. Crispin, you move up the steps
towards the Shrine, towards the Innermost Sanctum.
And actually, as you're moving towards the Innermost
Sanctum, I will say you are searching pockets.
As you move by the Kenku, you do see one item
is lying just outside of it. I was like, he's
dead. There is something that looks like maybe
it was reaching for it when it died. And now
it's kind of just like sort of resting just outside
the sort of the grasping fingers where maybe
it fell upon death. You see a sending stone.
And you have a pretty good idea who this stone
connects to. And thinking of Sholei, thinking
of this moment, you realize you've done it all.
Perfect victory. You've killed the Kenku singer.
You've killed the Oni. Everyone who could have
said, you know, the guard or sleep. Everyone
who could have pointed their way to Sholay and
her crimes here has been taken care of. Right?
And then you hear a voice ring out. Ruff. Speaker
Sholay Brass, they said. Ruff. We must bring
her to justice for this. We must! Akio looks
to you. And you realize in that moment, perhaps
your hearts sink. Because there is one witness
left. Shit. And we'll call it there. wars on
taib's left many lives what what no what my notes
are wrong hang on let me fix that left stole
no it's stole and left