Hey, Pants people. I'd like to invite you to
rate and review our show if you haven't already.
We recently got a new review on Apple Podcasts
from Don123Don, who says, talent on all sides,
fun, exciting, a good time, nods in respect.
Thank you, Don, very much. And we recently got
a comment on one of our Spotify episodes from
Saul Butler, who says, congrats on episode 100.
Thank you very much, Saul. Thank you very much,
Don. Enjoy the episode. We'll see you next time.
The crew of the Hitokori has been incredibly
successful at targeting valuable vessels at their
most vulnerable moments in transit, giving way
to incredible riches for the captains and incredible
losses for the good folk of Yomizu. So what do
we know about these figures? It is believed that
the crew of the Hitokori is made up entirely
of Kenku, while the pirates themselves have been
described as being human, twin brothers in fact,
each typically wearing cloaks and wielding brutal
glaives. There's also rumor that the brothers
hail from a remote village in the mountains along
Mizu's northern coast. But no such village has
been discovered by the authorities, and travel
through these mountains is considered very, very
dangerous. Another rather bizarre fact is that
the pirates have reportedly not taken a single
life in their entire criminal careers. So what
secrets do the captains hold? How do they seem
to know exactly where to strike? And how have
they not been defeated by any shipguard despite
holding back from taking lives? Until we answer
these critical questions, I fear the people of
Mesa will be seeing red and feeling blue. That
was awful. Who wrote that? Did you write that,
David? No, who wrote that? I mean, whoever wrote
it is a genius, but was not. Agree to disagree.
Was not me. You have your, the spotlight on these
two gloominary pirates, the ones that you know
have taken this place. This is all information
Crispin Dresden have in that folder. This is
almost everything you know about them in the
folder you were given by Shully. You would research
this local room or what I told you. These are
two very mysterious figures, but it's all everything
Oren says is corroborated by Shully's information.
They've hit high profile targets when they're
at the most vulnerable. They've got away scot
-free every time and they've never taken a life,
which is strange. And they have been immensely
successful in their pirating career as new as
it is. yeah shroud of the mystery apparently
they're here though you would also know one more
thing something that i think would be you know
you probably had in your mind just a strange
little question you never saw a ship you would
have seen a ship yeah you said it was small it
was yeah not it was not a large vessel but large
enough to have a crew it would be Absolutely
noticeable if there was a ship that pulled up
to this place. And there shouldn't be able to
be ships anyway. The wave pool sort of cascading
away from the shrine at the edge of the sort
of seawall would immediately send anything, any
ships. They could not dock here. So how did they
get in? Right. So it's weird because if they
never take a life, then you assume that. Every
one of their victims is a survivor and could
share the story of how their ship snuck up on
them. You know what I mean? And from what it
is, it just, it basically sounds like it's just
the ship came up. They, the guard were soundly
defeated, but not killed. Uh, and they just made
off with the riches and went away. The ship is
fast. They couldn't be caught up and they've,
they've, they've engaged in combat. They just
seem are seemingly strong enough that they don't
need to kill to survive. Well, I'm sure we'll
find out more if we survive this fight. I'm sure
you will. Now, let me go back. Let me look at
that. Wow, that's weird. Sorry, I'm looking at
the Roll20 map. I can't find Crispin's token.
Where is Crispin's? Do you see Crispin's token?
Yeah, I can see the edge of it. Where is it?
From underneath. What the fuck are you doing,
David? Underneath the what? Fucking tornado thing.
Oh, that's right. Because my sword -nado just
stepped right on you. Yeah, weird it decided
to do that just now. I like forgot. Well, actually,
there's a reason for this. There's actually a
reason for this. I didn't have space inside the
sword -nado until now because one sword was held
back from going in. by the sentinel feet it did
not go back which means there's a little spot
open in the tornado and i could be like you know
what i'm just gonna take a mosey on over and
step onto a little crispin dubois here uh so
let's see what happens let's see what happens
when you're eaten by the winds uh let's get some
music going that's intense oh it's gonna be intense
now before we continue this thing there is a
bit of a wedgie we need to address We'll address
it now and clean the slate. And that wedgie is
heat metal. I have to make a save, but first
you have to make a save. Yeah, I didn't make
at least one concentration check. Yes, we'll
count down to one concentration check. There
may have been more, but we don't have the dates
yet to roll back. We're going to call it one
con save. DC 10 to make sure the spell is even
still active. Yeah. Natural one. I'm going to
say it happens now. As the wind overcomes you,
you see the blazing orange of the metal sword
swirling around before you. It fills out as you
are just like harried by this. Your every fur,
them being ripped out of you. You're not taking
damage yet as this thing has taken you in. But
it is my turn. So that damage is coming. The
sword peters out. I am no longer taking the fire
damage on either my weapon or my baddie. Horrible.
Wait. I didn't take that last instance of damage
on the weapon. Well, I mean, do you want to now
that we... We did establish that it did go out,
and you waited until after it went to it. Yeah,
okay. We'll say I don't take the damage. Cool.
All right. Clean slate. We're good. This works
out. You've been eaten by a tornado. A sword
-nado. Sorry. Now it's time to pay the piper,
whatever that means. Whatever that means. I can
do some fun things here. I could just beat the
hell out of you from inside this thing, which
seems like a lot of fun. But I don't want to
do that. Instead, wear one sword has been pulled
away. I'm going to turn Crispin Dubois into my
new sword. And this thing begins to serve again.
What? You feel your feet like a powerful gust
lifts you up. You are yanked from the ground.
You are ripped and moving, moving, swirling blades
flashing around you. It's not their turn, so
they're not going to actually cut you or hurt
you, but you're like feeling them everywhere.
Maybe there's like small, shallow cuts being
cut into you, not like doing damage, but just
because it's cool and you have all these cool,
bleeding wounds as you're being torn. by this
thing. And now, as my swords are getting launched,
I'm going to attempt to launch you too. All right.
I need a strength saving throw. Oh, my goodness.
You can feel the gust building. You can feel
it's about to shove you outwards, launching you
violently across the court, perhaps into an ally,
perhaps into a wall. What a second one. A second
natural one. Are you joking? This is so bad.
Why? Stephen, joking, please. There's nothing
funny about what's about to happen to you. Holy
shit. Before we resolve my swords. This is awful.
I have a thing for dex saves, but that's not
what this is. And before we even resolve the
damage, let's resolve something else. Stop. The
direction. You're going to fly. Oh, please, God.
The swords get to control the direction they
go out in because they're working in tandem with
this thing. You on our end, yours is going to
be random. Okay. I'm going to roll a D8. I'm
going to set, like, the, you know. Sure. You
know, east. Never eat soggy wheat. Southeast.
Whatever, south. Yeah, each one's going to be
a thing. I'm going to start with north as one,
and I'm going to forget what I'm doing halfway
through this. Oh, God. Let's do this thing. David.
That is. Wait, are we counting floor ones? Or
is that cracked? Count the floor. Oh, yeah, because
it was good. Yeah. I won't count it. If you want
me to count it, I'll do something new. No, I
don't care. It's fine. No, I'm not going to count
it. You don't have to count it. I'm just shitting
on you. No, it's actually good for you. I'm only
asking because we've been in this situation before
where we always re -rolled it. That's the only...
So I've heard this before. I've heard about,
you know, if... Some people prefer to play if
they roll the die and if it falls on the floor
and they plan on taking the roll, they announce
it before they go see it. Okay. I didn't announce
it. Let's roll it again. I would be okay with
that roll going forward. Yeah. It's a six. Oh,
no. It's going to be. It actually wasn't too
big a deal. This is going to launch you out in
the western direction. If it was north or south,
that's the worst. North would have been right
into the echo. South would have been right into
one of your two buddies. Instead, you're getting
launched across the tiles. You're also not going
to be launched into any... Shit, your token's
still hiding from me. Get out of here. Get out
of that tornado. You're not going to get launched
into any walls, which means no extra damage.
This might be one of the best results for you.
You are sent flying from this thing, ripped out
of it. The wind's blasting you 20 feet. You go
scattering, rolling, sliding. You are prone,
and you're going to take some damage. Oh, boy.
That is 15 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh,
no. Oh, okay. Now we're in trouble. Yeah, now
you're looking extra rough. You slide to a stop.
And now my swords are going to go. Now, you went
with them and Tannen with them. They cannot target
you, Crispin, because that would be weird if
I had a sword literally flying into you while
you were moving. This is all happening at once.
I have three swords that can launch. I have three
targets. Dresden, Echo, Akio. So I need deck
saves from all three. Dresden got a 12. 15 for
Akio. Echo got an 18. Dresden's the only one
that fails. Fuck. The other two go out. You manage
to, like, the Echo manages to parry. Maybe you're,
like, putting effort into the Echo's parry, trying
to keep it out there, keep that pressure on,
but that causes this sword to kind of get into
you, just barely making it through your armor,
just barely cutting you. It's going to do five
points of damage. Another small cut, but they
are building up fast. Akio, ping, parries the
sword, and they again just lock into place before
you. You actually have two before you now, Dresden,
because you have one held by Sentinel. Looking
around, they are trying to pen you in. But that
is my turn. Now we're looking at Crispin to splat.
All right. So Crispin, you know, lands on the
ground and rolls. Ah, crap, I'm prone. That's
right. So I got to spend half my movement to
stand up. Oh, he's fast, though. Okay. So Crispin's
going to stand up and say to Accio, Oh, you're
right, friend. Yes, remember my scent, Accio.
Remember that I'm a good boy. And Crispin starts
to run towards these swords and... wild shapes
into a brown bear. Oh, hell yeah. Okay, wild
shapes coming out. I think that means you're
large now. I think so. Yeah, large beasts. Okay.
Okay, so Crispin Bear Boy is going to come. Man,
that guy's in the way. I can't really flank with
anybody, unfortunately. Yeah, the swords are
surrounding this thing now. Yeah. So we'll go
up here, back next to the sword Nado. You'll
get thrown one way, and you just turn around,
ripping through the tile, going right back at
it, ready to fight again. And he's going to go
for this first sword here, next to Dresden. Ooh,
yeah, that's a 24. Okay, you're going for the
sword, you said. Well, I thought you said that
the... For some reason, I thought the sword nato
wasn't targetable. It is. It's targetable. It's
just if you're not using a magical weapon, you've
noticed, you take less damage. Oh, right. Yeah.
So I won't really be doing that. Gosh. See, this
is why. Hey, when we split a fight up, because
now I'm like, what was my strategy again? Yeah,
because bite damage isn't going to do a lot to
this thing. Let's see. Let's roll a die about
it. Okay. That's odds. So odds was the fucking...
The Swordnado. Okay, sure, fine. You pissed this
thing. This thing just threw you. You're mad.
Yeah, all right. Let's see if we can take it
down. Okay. We do get multi -attack here, so
this is just the first attack. Seven points with
the bite, and then we'll do a claw attack on
the Swordnado. Oh, my God. Two on the die. That's
just an eight. Eight to hit? Yeah. Ah, no. Yeah,
I didn't think so. Oh, my goodness. I am starting
to regret picking these dice back up. I love
the idea of you just get back, this bear comes
tearing towards it, and just goes, and, like,
bites the wind, the wind kind of blasting. But
it actually seems it has some effect, you know?
Seven points, it's weakened, but, like, it's
still getting through. Okay, that's the end of
Crispin's turn, then. Okay, we're moving on to
Akio. Right, Akio. I play Akio, so... You do,
healthy pup. Akio, Akio, however you want to
say it. Akio is a spell. Just saying. I think...
I will say it's actually A -K -I -O. I haven't
clarified this in the Discord at all yet, which
I mean, I believe means bright. Okay. It also
means come here. Come hither, Brum. Come hither.
I'm going to... Hmm. I'm going to take... I'm
going to just do two katana attacks here. Hoping
that one might take out this first sword in front
of me. Okay. Oh, my God. Another. That's five
on the die. So 12 to hit. 12 will not hit the
sword. Let me try again. Two attacks. Okay. That's
a 21. 21 will hit. Imagine if that missed. You'd
be so sad. Dude, I would have changed die again.
Oh, max damage. 12 damage. 12 damage. Hell yeah.
With this mighty swing, he cuts right into the
handle and right through it. The handle sort
of falls off the sword and something about that
causes the magic to depower. It sort of shakes
in the air and then metal. clatters on a tile.
One enemy is down. All right, one down. And that's
the end of Pacquiao's turn. Hell yeah. Okay.
With that, we're on to Dresden. Ooh. I should
just go for the swords, shouldn't I? It's hard
to say. I'm going to go for the swords. Okay.
All right, so first, yeah, Dresden's going to
attack the sword in front of him. He will not
hit with a natural one. Oh, my God. Third one
of the night. What in the fuck? That horseshoe
is just blowing around. They bonked Crispin on
the head in the tornado, bonked him again on
his way out, flew over here, bonked Dresden.
It's just a menace. Knocked his sword strike
off balance. This is insane. I got to start punishing
these. I want to slow this down, though. All
right. Yeah, I'm just going to go in for my second
attack then. Damn. Your mental stance, mockingly.
That's a 23 to hit. That will hit. Thank you.
Minimum damage on that. Yikes. One on the die
plus six. Thankfully. That is a god. And that
sword was actually down to six. So you... Wow.
What's it look like when you break the sword?
I think with his war pick, it's just metal on
metal. Yes. But his is stronger. And I think
it just shatters the entire blade. The katana
blades, yeah. And almost like when you break
glass slowly, it just kind of splinters around.
And then just... Splinters go flying right into
brown bear's eyes. No, it goes right into the
Swordnado and now it's got a thousand different
little shines you can shoot at. Shit. Well, now
that you took the idea, I can't do that. Exactly.
Okay. Sword's turn and I only have two. Let's
see. I'll have one for the Echo, one for Akio.
This is getting close to the end. Let's see if
I can do some damage before I, in the horseshoe,
comes flying out again, whacks into this one.
So stupid. Wait, did you? I rolled a one again.
Oh, my God. That's so dumb. That's the four.
Dude, we've been recording for not long. 21 minutes.
We introduced this horseshoe into the narrative.
Four natural ones. This thing is going to follow
us forever. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Just bouncing
all around. It's caught in the wind. It's like
everyone's fucking the horseshoe. We have another
episode title. This is called Natural Ones. It's
a nine on Akio. That's not going to do it. So
swords miss, and they're going to do their usual
thing. They're going to try to move back away,
back into the swordnado, which means Echo and
Akio both get AOs. Yeah, baby. Another 12. Five
on the die. 26. 26 will hit. Do I get the halt
on this? You can take that, yes. I can. Oh, yeah.
So for this one, from my Echo, I don't get the
damage modifier, right? It's just the straight
D8? Or do I get the modifier? No, it's the full
damage. You're essentially popping into your
Echo's place to take this AOL. It's a weird sort
of like, you guys are occupying two spots in
reality, but shared. It's weird. 13. 13 damage?
And it's halted. Holy shit. This sword looks
really, really bad. You have two swords left,
and they both look really bad. I will say that.
Though Swordnado looks bad, this looks like it's
winding down. Before that can happen, I do get
a turn here. Oh, I only have one sword left.
There's only one thing I can do here. I think
at this point, whatever programs of Swordnado
to keep doing, it's like sword launch, sword
return. That is sort of sword's dance. It's sort
of elementally conjured program to do. Maybe
when there's less swords, you see it kind of
takes a different approach. giant tendrils launch
out from this thing almost like uh arms and in
these sort of clubbed uh swirling wind fists
and they spin around and they're going to punch
i'm gonna punch the brown bear the only one that's
on me bring it on all right brown bear let's
do this thing ac is super low on the brown bear
so don't even worry about it two attacks great
no well it's definitely natural one they're definitely
both gonna hit okay uh 23 and 24 to hit yeah
yeah It's a lot of D8s. It's a lot of damage.
It's 27 points. Holy shit. Just comes in, pounding
on you. You feel this full force, this storm
just bearing down, coming down on top of you.
But that's going to be its entire turn. The other
sword is still locked within it. It's not flying
out. It's just one single blade swirling inside.
Crispin, that's you. Okay. Going in for another.
Hold on. Let me see. Yeah, it doesn't. There's
no place for me to move. Nobody's flanking. So
I'm going to go in for another multi attack.
Hell yeah. And if I roll more single digits,
then I'm getting rid of this dice set. Dude,
I think there's something wrong with this die.
Yeah. Another five. Dude, this is the third five
I've rolled tonight, I think. It's been like
ones and fives. It's all ones and fives. So that's
just an 11. I'm putting this set away. It's the
horse number. Horses have five legs, they say.
What if they're about to get hot? They're not.
The coldest dice. I will say there is. You know
what? You didn't re -bless. No, look at, there
is actually, because these are, they're gem die.
You can see on this side with the one and the
five, there's an imperfection there. Like a pretty
significant one. Oh, wow. Oh. Like, I wonder
if that is literally enough weight to throw it
off. Because tonight, I think the only thing
I've rolled is on this side of the die. Oh, shit.
Well, that's also crazy. Check this out. Because,
like, this is the Zebulon die, and you rolled
a one. Yeah. Oh, my God. Because of this? I see
it. You're right. It's pretty significant. That
could be the case. Holy shit. Oh, my God. So.
I think I'm maybe done with these die forever.
So you hear that, everyone? Steven has been cheating
his whole time. Yeah, right? Weighted dice. I
wonder if there's somebody out there. I mean,
someone's dead, so you get straight up. If anybody
out there knows enough math and science to be
like, oh, let me look at that. All right. How's
that go? Oh, let me look at that. Okay, now I'm
going for the claw attack. That's a 21. That
will hit. Okay. Nine damage. Live wedgie. Live
wedgie. What? I was vague about my tattoo because
I thought it would be cool, but it turned out
to be stupid because I forgot that while this
tattoo is on my skin, my unarmed strikes are
considered magical. Oh, shit. Whoa. So that would
be full damage on this thing. Whoa. Yeah. I remember
you got, I believe you got nine last time, and
you got nine this time. Yeah. I can fix that.
I'll give you the last time as well, but I need
you to describe to me why. What's this look like?
What's going on with your attacks here? Give
me that shit. It's so good. Yum, yum, yum. Fucking
grave. So I think there's like a... There's a
smoke or a mist, a black, inky sort of mist that
comes off of this tattoo. Oh, yeah. And it coalesces
around Crispin's claws as, in bear form, he slashes
out. Oh, yum, yum, yum, delicioso. Love it, love
it. You just hit this thing, and as you strike
out, a little bit of this tender mist sort of
enters in the wind, almost like it's poisoning
the tornado. You just moan again. Strike is lessening.
That brings it down to being very, very low.
It's not done yet, but it's very low. And I was
waiting for a time where I wasn't going to interrupt
you, but I also gained a plus one bonus to attack
and damage rolls with unarmed strikes. Two more
damage. Still up, but looking even more messed
up. That is amazing. That's amazing. Man, it'd
be so cool if I read my stuff more. That is.
And that was all the gold. This is worthwhile.
This is worthwhile. I never read anything and
I'm still alive. Oh, not a big wedgie because
we see you didn't finish it off anyway. So good
to know. This is the first time actually going
in this thing and doing this. Although, yeah,
last time you used your clubs, it was not unarmed.
So this is all right. Exactly. Final number.
Hell yeah. That is super cool. Anything else,
Christian Dubois? Oh boy. Crispin's going to
start to move a little bit in case he finds the
opportunity to get into flanking with. Cool.
So you're kind of pacing around it, moving to
the north, kind of stalking the side, not losing
its range. Hell yeah. You move up right by side
the Echo, where the Echo's locked in battle with
this other sword, the one that could not return.
Hell yeah. And with that, Akio. All right. He's
going to, hmm. He's actually going to like crisscross
and step in front of Dresden because if he's
standing in that spot, then he'll get flanking
with Crispin. That's true. That's true. Yeah.
I don't have control of that token, but I'll
have him stand. Okay. I think actually you want
to go the other way. I kind of think of it because
you're going the diagonal. I guess either way
would give you it. Yeah, never mind. You're right.
As long as you can draw a line to the target,
and you can. So, yeah. Cool. You step right in
front of Dresden. You see this big old dog just
stepping right in front of you. Dresden. All
right. And now with my not -broken die. I really
wonder, man. I really wonder. Two katana attacks.
Crit my pants the good kind. The good kind of
crit. Oh, dude, and I just remembered, I think
he got an 18 earlier. I wasn't paying attention
to improve critical, but yeah, it was an 18 on
the die, so okay. Not 19. Alright, let's do that
first katana attack. Or damage, I mean. Max damage
again on the katana, so that's 12 on that first
attack. Before we keep going. Ooh, baby. Akio
steps forward, kind of He saw you get thrown,
transform, yell out and come at this thing again.
He saw you stand and fight. As he steps before
you, Dresden, you can see his tail is wagging.
Big, floofy... And you almost hear this guttural,
like... Like, laugh. He's more like, yes, yes,
intruder. You may not be a bad dog after all.
And he slices in. And what's it look like when
he kills? This tornado. This what? This swordnado.
There's still swords. The sword's still alive.
Half the name exists. Yeah, Accio's slash through
the swordnado is so powerful. And the rest of
the swordnado, the rest of the wind just like
follows his blow. And it splits in two directions
and continues in the direction of the swing.
I love that. It's so cool. Blasting gusts as
this thing is just gone. leaving only one blade
now, which was sort of like now kind of stopping,
almost looking around like, like what? And one
blade halted before the echo. Oh, they're still
around. Interesting. They are still around, but
they are both looking really, really bad. Nikio
has another attack. That's right. And he's already
within five feet of one. So he's going to go
ahead and take that other strike. 19 to hit.
That'll hit. Jeez, 13 damage. Or, sorry, 11.
I was like, one different from last time. Again,
just one move, and he hits something. Maybe the
wind, as this thing shoots out, the sword's kind
of put off balance. It's sort of spinning in
the air, not sure. And as it's trying to regain
its kind of, like, floating sort of footing,
Akio's blade just goes through it again. Blade
falls apart. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. One
left. Man, what would have happened if you didn't
give us Akio? Uh, we'd be dead already. He's
killed like we would be dead. Almost everybody
He's he's turned off her off, but he's doing
pretty good. Haha ruff ruff. Ah One sword left.
Can you finish this thing? I hope so If I so
which one is still left just the one in front
of the echo, right? Yeah, the one in front of
the echo. Yes I don't know how to move my damn
token. I'm assuming you want to go here to flank
with crispin. Yes So you slide around one side.
You have, like, Crispin and the Echo both, like,
cornering this one sword. It's like you could
see this sword could sweat. This sword would
be sweating like crazy. It's flip -flopping both
ways, like, oh, oh, oh. It's like the guard is,
like, shaking. The guard's shaking like, oh,
shit. Ooh. That's a 22 to hit. That's going to
hit. Mm -hmm. So let's take damage on that first.
It's only two on the die, so that's eight. Eight
damage. It's still enough. All right, well, he's
going to go for a second attack. What? But it's
dead. Wait, wait, wait. You said that's enough?
It's enough, yeah. Oh, you said enough. Okay,
I'm just hurting you. You're swinging it, slamming
it. It's like, stop it, stop it. It's already
dead. I'm just so used to you saying, that's
not enough. Tress is hulking out going savage.
That's just not enough, or he looks bad, but
he's still up. You have conditioned me for bad
news. As we fade away from this combat, the only
sound is the echoing smashing of Dresden's blade
against the corpse of the sword. That's pretty
badass, though. It's really cool. Let's get some
calmer music. Another battle finished. With the
sound of the winds and the swinging blades gone,
once again, all you can hear is that... The crashing
waves against the wall just outside this shrine.
The ringing chimes sort of overlaying everything
from just ahead of you. There's a mechanical
scraping sound, again, somewhere beyond, somewhere
in the next court, which seems to lie on a lower
platform below where you stand now. And maybe
just this slight sound of thunder. Let me describe
real fast as you stand here. What you see ahead.
At the end of this court, you see one wide set
of stairs just going up into a raised, covered
platform, almost like a bell tower. And beneath
its curving roof, you can see long, glittering
chines of glass or some kind of clear mineral
moving in a mesmerizing, pulsing wave and just
ringing out across the shrine. This rests on
top of a 10 -foot -high wall that blocks your
view of the next court. You can see that at each
end of this wall lies a narrow staircase that
curves downwards, beyond the wall, and assumedly
into the lower court, just beyond, where you
can hear that mechanical scraping. And as you're
taking this all in, you notice that the light
gray skies above seem to be darkening a bit.
Perhaps a coming storm? The silence, or near
silence, is broken. Zakiyo's tail's still kind
of wagging, kind of... I should not be pleased
to be dismantling our own defenses, but... That
was a good battle. You are strong. Why? Kind
of, like, looks at you both, almost, like, lowers
down a little bit. I'm beginning to suspect you
are not bad dogs at all, no. But why are you
here? Why do you fight? I'm sorry, but Crispin
gets two uses of Wild Shape. And I'm pretty much
a bear for two hours or until I drop below zero
HP. He's just like, I need to talk. He can talk.
So he's like, he fully thinks you can talk. Like
you're, you're a talking animal. You already
were a talking animal. Right. So it's like, he's
looking at you like, yo, you're clearly just
not even a rabbit. You just can do this. Yeah.
So, so Crispin in bear form looks to Accio and
without being able to respond, puts his nose
to the ground and starts to snuffle along the
ground. And as he's walking, He's got a limp,
and you can see he's bleeding from somewhere
on his face. He's in pretty rough shape and bare
form. Oof. But he kind of wants to sniff around
to see if he can suss out. It looks like there's
a couple of rooms here on the wings, either side
of this big room we're in. Yes, there are two
small chambers. Yeah, these two enclosed buildings.
We can't see what's inside. Let me reveal those.
Oh. They look to be just two small storage chambers.
They look to be, they may have, like, you know,
they're both 10 foot by 10 foot, pretty small.
One of them holds various, like, training utensils.
There's, like, training blades left in here as
well. A couple, like, weapon wraps with, like,
various kind of spears, different things to train
with. The other one would hold maybe, like, medical
supplies, some rations. Ooh. Give me an investigation
check. Yeah. Or what's your passive anyway? Well,
I am... You're a bear. A bear right now. Okay,
hang on. Yeah, yeah. Give me a check. Investigation
is intelligence? Yeah, I believe your mental
stats actually carry over when you're... Oh,
really? I think that's the case. I think it's
your charisma, wisdom, and intelligence carry
over. I don't... I just want to make sure. It
says your game statistics are replaced by the
statistics of the beast, but you remain... Oh.
You retain your alignment, personality, and intelligence,
wisdom, and charisma scores. Okay, cool. Take
advantage for smelling. I think a bear would
have that. I get advantage on wisdom for smelling
as a bear. Oh, I'll give you that, too, for this.
Because you're not really... As a bear, you'd
be kind of sniffing this out. I think that makes
more sense. So you can take wisdom. Okay, so
I got 13 for investigation. You specified that
you were sniffing this out, so I think that just
makes sense to give you that. 18 for... wisdom
for perception uh as you're digging through perhaps
you see like there's a lower there's a number
of medical supplies kind of on a lower shelf
and you kind of push past them your nose kind
of nudging them to the side and you see just
beyond just small container like a little uh
almost like wicker basket sort of thing and as
you lift up your nose you see another single
potion of greater healing oh dude great um yeah
i think i think bear crisp is just gonna chomp
it Full of Yogi Bear. Pick a big basket. Oh,
wait. On that note, I was just kind of waiting,
but Dresden's drinking one of his while we're
talking, too. Hell yeah. So as you're doing that,
you kind of walked away. Dresden's drinking a
potion. Akira's kind of staring at you guys,
kind of eyes blink a little bit. You know, no
one answers. He's kind of like, ah, yes, you
are. Strong and silent. It's just a good quality.
Well, I mean, Justin was going to turn and say...
He finished drinking his turn. Good dogs help
stop the bad dogs. Yes. You consider yourself
a good dog so easily, though. You just called
us that. I said you are not bad dogs. I did not
say you are good dogs. Only your master can say
if you are a good or regular dog. Well? What
master do you serve? In either of the cases,
we're trying to take out these bad dogs, so what
does it matter? Hmm. Yes. I suppose that is a
wisdom in itself. It is strange, except that
I hear no sounds of combat. My fellow guards.
But I fear any hasteful acts on our part may
be pointless. Master Ozen often explained to
me the benefits of patience. Wait, he would say.
Treats only after you wait, and then I would
wait, and then I would have my treats. You hear
some sounds of combat as Crispin angrily growls
and slashes some of the other supplies. I think
when he drank this potion, he probably cut himself
on the glass a little bit. What? On 44, I rolled
one, one, two, one. What the fuck? You're going
to drink the potion. You kind of step outside
of the little hut, the ceiling kind of coming
down over you. And you're like, you have the
potion in your mouth. You're going to drink it.
And as you're like, like bottom upping it, just
from the roof, just above you. Something slides
down to the edge, drops down, smashes the vial
before you finish it, and you see the horseshoe
just ting -a -ting lands on the ground before
you. One last fuck you from the horseshoe. Sorry,
buddy. This one gave me 15 HP back. Oh, my God,
you asshole. I think actually seeing you guys
drinking and kind of like having this moment
of rest and kind of realizing that that patience
may be... what's needed here. Akio kind of looks
to you, Dresden, and says, I am not a young pup
anymore. If it is acceptable to you, I would
like a few glarps of water. There is a collapsible
bowl and a water skin attached to my belt. Would
you be so kind? Kind of shakes his romp and you
see there is like a clattering little bowl and
a skin of water. Sure. You kind of just pour
it in. Yeah, Dresden walks over when he grabs
the stuff off the belt. Gives him a little pat.
Oh. You put it down and... Garp, garp, garp,
garp, garp. Going at it. Ah, garp, garp. This
is garp, garp. Most excellent. Ah. Yes. You are
certainly not bad dogs. And you are good fighters.
When Master Ozen comes back, I shall tell him
all about you. Tail just wagging again. And I
think you realize... Right there, like, that's
a little weird, right? Because everyone in the
Conqueror world knows that Ozen is a villain.
And yet this dog is just excited. Do you want
to? Yeah. What about insight? Yeah, insight works.
That's wisdom, though, so I have to use my bear
stat. No, wisdom you have. I think it says intelligence.
Oh, my God. I'm bad at this. I'm so bad at this.
Don't you have, like, a stupid? lehigh one anyway
as your passive on crispin passive perception
is 18 yeah what's your insight insights 15 that's
high enough actually okay uh nice it's fine if
you kind of you turn your your big bear eyes
over you're kind of looking at his wagging tail
and you're kind of reading all this and it hits
you that nobody's told him right he's not watching
the the news and the other guards here haven't
said anything to him and maybe you're wondering
you know why and then it strikes you again like
this is Akio is nine years old. He's dead earlier.
And Ozen came to the shrine ten years ago, as
we established in the flashback in episode three.
So for his entire life, Akio has been raised
by Ozen. He's not just the last pupil of the
Storm Eye. He's also his dog. Right. And a dog
will not believe anything bad about their master.
You can see now there is not a hint of disbelief.
He's just excited. So with that in mind, Crispin
will turn his back and Dresden and Akio will
see this big brown bear rump wiggling forward
as Crispin is snuffling along the floor, walking
towards the shrine here to investigate further.
As you go to move forward, you will come across
something interesting. You can't just... It's
kind of all around you, this whiff of something
almost like chalky. with this spice to it, almost
like some kind of component. Crispin would read
that maybe some magical flower component of some
sort has been used here. And you're smelling
it all around. And you, as you move, your nose
touches upon something that really is reeking
of this. It's some kind of fragment of stone
with, looks like a gold painted sort of pattern
laid on it. Like some kind of inscription. A
piece of a larger, complex web of these golden
lines that probably span underneath this entire
court. And you realize, you look back, that when
this elemental was summoned, it shattered for
some reason. The stone it was summoned on, like
in the very center of the court. And the pieces
got caught up and went flying everywhere. So
this is a piece of it. Akio mentioned last time
that the magic in this place, the conjurer, he
called this figure, who... essentially laid these
elemental traps in place and create these defenses
had woven these sort of incantations beneath
the stones themselves and you're seeing a piece
of this now okay so let's start flipping over
all the stones perfect perfect and the stone
was it's farther in like it's not like we stepped
on it and that's what activated it no it's just
the all this entire thing must be a complex weave
of this where if you get anywhere close if you're
touching these stones Something happens. Something
activates deeper in this room. So, like, it's
like the room itself is reading you where you
are. This is not merely, like, a single trap
in the center of this room. This entire shrine
is built to be some grand defense. It's built
to be almost like a trial. So this is going to
keep happening as we go further, is what you're
saying? Yeah. Cool. Yeah, and I don't have a
lot of, like... I don't even know if Pass Without
Trace would have helped if we had it, or... They
were not high enough level to just teleport across
the room, but I don't know if that would help
anyways. You just hear an echoing as you're kind
of considering these things. Just, clark, clark,
clark. I am finished now. I mean, we can always
send the echo ahead of us. You saw before that
did not work. The traps did not register an object.
And this is very important. They did not register
an object as an activation method. Once they
were activated, the object became a target. Maybe
like... You have to be something alive to activate
them. But when they activate, something moving
is enough to trigger their actual striking. Well,
how about this? Can Crispin use and recognize
the smell that came off of this stone to maybe
identify others? I mean, it's everywhere. Okay.
I will say this. As you sniff forward... The
steps leading out of this room and the wall at
the end of it, basically the transition area,
the smell seems to stop. So perhaps whatever
lies next lies beyond the stairs, beyond the
wall in the next court. But you don't think there's
any magic interwoven into the actual steps. Maybe
there is some moving towards that center sort
of bell tower where the chimes are ringing, as
they may have a part in some of this. But you
can bypass that as well and just go around the
edge of the wall down to the lower cord. All
right. I guess I don't see much else other than
to slowly move through until the next thing pops
up. So if you've got anything to buff yourself,
I can't really cast spells in this form. Can
someone put away my water bowl? I already did.
Oh, wow. You're fast. Thank you. Hey, I just
realized. What is your name? I told you mine,
and you were very rude and never told me your
names. You were very rude and never asked. Damn.
Damn. Looks down at his paws in shame. His tail
just drops. Crispin says, Ah, fine name. He starts
to move forward. A fine name. Slowly, carefully,
snuffling all the way. Is someone going to talk
to my damn character? My name is nobody. I see.
Very well, nobody. Literally, my parents named
me nobody. Is this true? Is this true Dresden
lore? No. Akio will fully believe it. So he just
kind of nods. And nobody. It is good to make
your acquaintance. Wait, what was his name? Oh,
okay. Yes. I forgot it for a second. Thanks.
Fine name. Very strong. I think as you're going
to move, he might just shout out like, Hold,
friend. It may help you to know more about the
shrine. I could tell you more than I know about
it. Yeah, no shit. It may inform what sorts of
defenses we may discover ahead. Seeing what happened
here. And he kind of looks down at the court
and looks over. The Shrine of Storms is built
primarily of two courts, and its innermost sanctum,
also known to us as the Soul Sanctum. This court,
he kind of puts his paw down, tapping on the
stone. Where we stand now is the Court of Discipline,
where we guard, hone our bodies and minds into
weapons. We do so in honor of the great sage
who taught the people of Umizu the value of discipline.
The following court, just below there, is known
as the Court of Beauty. It is made to perfectly
overlook the sea on its eastern side. The power
of the soul storm is channeled to create a defense
of waves beyond the sea wall. This, along with
the water elementals that swim there, protect
the shrine from sea vessels, but also lend a
deeper beauty to the sights and sound of the
court. It is a place of meditation and gratitude
towards nature. It may be worth noting that none
of the twelve shrine guardians live within this
court, or the next, most taking residence in
the... City of Kameno, where they are off shift.
And this actually stretches, maybe being interesting,
12 guards mentioned, which means less than that
would be here now. And some of them take refuge
in the city, which is about a 20 minute, if you're
a full sprint, about 20 minutes away. Which means,
if the shrine, the warnings are heard, it's still
a while before reinforcements might come. You
also would know that, it might be interesting
to note that the Conqueror Jewel here, the Pearl
Conqueror Jewel, actually stands, just in between
these two plays, about a 10 -minute run from
here. Okay. So just to kind of get an idea of
where we're going. So we could just, like, chill
here for 10 minutes until more guards show up.
Do you know if they've even heard the note? Yeah.
If this thing has, like, a way of being heard
in the city, it's 20, you know, 20 minutes away,
potentially. It's not likely anyone's even aware
yet that something has happened. Great. I myself
have a fine home on the outskirts of the shrine.
One bedroom, no bath. Almost five square feet.
Tail wagging. Tail wagging, yes. Master Ozen
built it for me. It is a wonderful home. Is it
a nice A -frame? Yes, very honorable. Only the
master lives within the shrine itself, and he
resides typically within the innermost sanctum.
I believe he does not need to sleep while he
is here. Instead, he sort of channels the storm.
I think it provides him with strength. He has
told me very little about it, which is good.
Very good. His role is sacred to commune with
the bones of the sage. Bones. Like a dog thing.
It's a dog thing. I can do this all day. He looks
up, searching his mind for anything else he might
need to tell you as you go on ahead. And dog
shrugs. Yes. I believe that is all. If only Master
Ozen were here now, this would not be an issue
at all. I wish he had not left, but I will wait,
I will wait. Master taught me to be patient and
to wait. But we should move on. All right, once
Akio's done talking, Crispin's going to move
up towards this western side of the shrine. Looks
like the shrine is splitting the room. You see,
yeah, basically there's a, there's a, that's
a long wall there. You can see it's like raised
up, but there are stairs on each side there.
Yeah. So you can kind of go down those stairs
and the edges that, that go curving downwards
into a lower player. So you can't like, it's
about 10 feet high. You can't see beyond the
wall. You don't know what's waiting for you beyond
there, but it sounds like it's a court that's
open to the sea. You guess that, that, that great
sort of pool must be on the edge of this one.
From what Akio mentioned to you, it's the court
of beauty. Yeah. Crispin wants to go down the
stairs opposite the ocean side. Okay. You begin
to proceed down the steps, curving into this
next court. And immediately your eyes are hit
with another very large room, maybe 65 feet long
and 85 feet wide, which ends in another set of
stairs going up that lead to like basically this
closed off area. There's like a wall and like
almost like a partition and then a deeper one
inside. So, you know, you could walk in here
freely, but you can't see what lies beyond. But
that sound of thunder seems to... roll out from
somewhere beyond. And where this goes, this like
pushes into what looks like an open sort of cavern
mouth that feeds into the cliff that's just behind
the Shrine of Storms. That must lead to the innermost
sanctum, you realize. You push into this shrine
and you're hit first by how empty it looks. Just
this grand... empty space a space of great beauty
you can hear the the waves crashing down just
outside here this view of the glittering sea
uh beneath the the gray darkening skies and another
thing that strikes you immediately as you turn
this corner before i describe that thing though
this map right this map this is not gorgeous
is this not it is gorgeous but i can now see
what you're talking about on the map so i'm a
little wait what oh i lost connection shit Damn
it. I still got the fog of war on. Don't tell
you my words. Hang on. Let me refresh so I can
see this beauty. And turning this corner, Crispin,
you're the first thing, you're the first one
ahead. So you turn the corner and you immediately
strike this because as you turn in the western
corner, the southwest corner of the court as
you're stepping down from there, in the northwest
corner of the court, you see what looks like
this gigantic, almost like steam billowing out
of its back, this barrel -shaped, like, metal
monstrosity. This mech -like crab being. It's
literally this weird metal claw. It has these
two tubes feeding in like a submarine might have
to view out. Peeking up from almost like the
extended eyes of the crab. These big metal legs
scratching across the tile. What you were hearing
this whole time. And again, steam just jutting
out of this spout on its back. It's maybe like
15 feet wide, measuring the feet and all. Just
this huge, huge shape. Like a full tank in this
place. And you're stepping around here and you
realize maybe this is it. This is how they got
in. Because if the defenses don't see this as
a creature, this is an object. Then moving through
these rooms, it might not trigger any of these
traps because nothing in this room seems to have
been triggered. There's no combat here except
for, you see, loading this thing, this being
and its claws is like slowly piling up this like
pile of, looks like six figures, dead or unconscious,
dressed in the black garb of like samurais. The
guard were here. The guard have been dispatched.
Did this monstrosity dispatch them? are the pirates
inside as you maybe it doesn't quite notice you
as you're sort of stepping in um it's i sort
of assume that they're they're focused they kind
of are whirring back and forth those two weird
like tube lenses uh taking in these bodies like
they're just trying to just stack these things
on the side of the room uh focused on this task
uh and that is the first thing that immediately
that greets your eyes as you step into the next
court the court of beauty what do you do Wow.
You weren't expecting a mech crab? No, I was
not expecting a mech crab. Does the mech crab
see us right now? It doesn't quite yet, but you
are rounding the corner of the steps. It might
see you if you go any farther. Okay. It just
doesn't see you in this exact moment as you're
coming around the edge. Hold on. It's focused
on what it's doing, but it might move and notice
you at any moment. Right. Give me one second
to... can we can we back out and go around the
other way i mean i mean there's yeah there's
no way we're gonna like i don't think we're gonna
be able to walk around it um yeah because we're
in like a square and we're just on the same side
of the square yeah that's i mean like go the
other way this way right but then we'd still
be like 90 feet away from it like it's still
gonna see us yeah but it's facing the other way
Uh, yeah, but he said it's gonna, it's moving
and looking around and it's done stacking the
bodies. So I'm thinking that it's a way that's
not going directly on it. So that's why I suggested
it. Yeah. Well, if they're inside of it and that's
how they're getting by the water elementals,
then it's like intelligent, you know? Uh, you
guys are stressed. Well, yeah, because what's
going to happen is we're going to step in this
room to go fight that thing. And the water elementals
are going to pop up. You don't see any water
elementals. Yeah, but we're in the room that
the ocean is touching. It's just touching. It's
way over there. And Akio said that there are
water elementals that protect this place. Which
also means that they... Would they not see the
freaking crab thing as a threat too? No, because
it's an object, not a creature. Yeah, but that's
what triggers... The echo. Objects won't trigger
the traps. The echo didn't trigger the trap,
but the trap still attacked the echo. Yeah. That's
what I'm saying. You actually tested this already.
Everything might go for that, too. So what we
need to do is trigger it and then get the fuck
out of there. Maybe step out of the fucking way.
I mean, I fucking love you. You just do science.
You triggered one of these traps. You saw how
it reacted to an object. That's really cool.
That's really cool. I like that a lot. Button?
You're maxed out. Dresden's not. You get your
three shared. So how do we do this, then? I think
Akio would probably be the fastest for that.
Like if he were to run down, flip back around,
run back up. Yeah. How fast is Akio? Let me check
his sheet here. Yeah, he's got 40 feet of movement.
Yes, that is your name. No, he said you should
go down there to trigger the traps and then run
back up here. You guys have this silent bro -like
comedy. I know exactly what he said. You didn't
hear him? I think he's just looking. I see. The
monster would get taken by the traps. Yes. Ah,
he's clever. Hosen would approve. Should I do
this thing? That looks to you, brown bear. Okay.
Okay. You control him. How do you want to do
this? Oh, shit. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
This thing is just working, working. The bodies
kind of get, you know, sort of pushed in one
sort of neat row. Begins to take a step back.
Okay, so Akio wants to make the path. I'm going
to draw my path as I try to explain it. So from
that southwest corner of the room, he wants to
hug the southern wall. until he gets further
towards the middle. So he's sort of behind the,
I'm going to call it a steam crab. Okay. And
then start to walk towards it with the intention
of like coming up behind it. But I'm guessing
and hoping he's not going to get that far. Uh,
hell yeah. Okay. He begins to prowl into the
room. I'm going to say at this point that Crispin
and Dresden, you're both watching from the...
southwestern stairs, perhaps Dresden on a lower
step, or Crispin on a lower step as a bear. Dresden,
you're just kind of above him, sort of perched
over, watching over his big brown bear shoulders.
And Akio begins to walk cautiously into the room,
steps to the bottom, begins to slowly move towards
the center, and then start pushing straight across
the room, step by step by step by step. And as
Akio enters, Nearly the center of the space.
You just hear the sound. Like this rattling.
And the sound of grinding stone. You watch as
the floor where Akio stands suddenly just sinks
down about 10 feet. He kind of looks around like.
He just vanishes from your view as the floor
drops away. And you see. Beside where this open
depression, which only leaves about 10 feet of
space around the room, this whole beginning or
middle of the room just drops down. You see another
such depression forms on the edge of it, bridging
the gap between it and the sea. Did we just send
him to his death? No, I think I have something
for this. Okay. Water begins to rush in. And
as it does so... Tell me when Akio can act. Oh,
whoa, what? The whole thing? Holy shit. Just
like that? Yeah, the water beams. Akio immediately,
I mean, he's immediately just sort of swept up
by it. As the water comes crashing into him like
a wave. I was going to say, he slides over the
edge of this thing. He's pushed against the seawall,
and he takes, let me draw 2d6. My whole plan
just went out the window. Just six points of
damage as he crashes into the seawall. As this
happens, you see that crab thing just suddenly
bolts up. Its eyes spin around towards the room.
It steps back and it sees the two of you at the
stairs. And you just hear voices begin to emanate
from it, like many voices kind of talking in
tandem like, No! What have you done? You have
killed us all! All these voices echoing out of
some tube in the front. And as Akio is drowning,
you see shapes begin to form in the water. But
immediately something else catches your attention.
Something not within the water, but just beside
you and all around the water. You see, again,
tile explodes, shattering in a burst of light
as four creatures. of pure energy. These sort
of pulsing electric humanoid monsters begin to
appear. Shattering tile again clatters before
you. Dresden Kellig. You feel a chill in your
spine the moment these things appear. Yes, I
know. You weren't there that day. Jeremy recognized
it. The second you said it, Jeremy recognized
it. You weren't there that day yourself, but
you've heard all the stories. Crispin, you've
seen them on the network. You all saw them on
the network. You saw them in footage when Zebulon
cut them down on the steps of the sapphire gem.
You saw them when jewels standing up in an alley
burst one apart with inflict wounds. And here
they are again. The creatures that came as the
harbingers of Tythos' fall. The creatures we
called the Zappies. And we'll call it there.