Hey, Pants people. I want to thank you guys so,
so much for helping us build this beast into
what it is today. Not only are we sitting here
almost two years into this podcast, almost 100
episodes. We're getting there. We're also just
getting out there. We went to Mountain Mania
recently, did a live show. We actually recently
went to the Vermont Renaissance Fair. We have
Nerd Out Nights at Reckless we're hosting. So
we're getting out. We're meeting people. And
we're really, really hoping to meet all of you.
So if you want us to come out your way, go to
these bigger expos and fairs and what. but not
across the country. I'm not saying it's impossible.
If we get bigger, if you get our names out there,
we'll get out there. We'll meet you. We'll find
all of you. We'll personally give you each a
hug. So please share us on social medias, Instagram,
Facebook. I'm bad at that part. Thank you so
much, guys. We love you. habitats, all hearts.
And so the pursuit of justice can be seen as
an everlasting game of cat and mouse, where the
lives of the innocent stand at stake, and the
pests are ever multiplying. How, then, does a
cat cope with the impossibility of their quest,
with the contradictory nature of a dream of peace
grasped only through firm violence? With a constant
horrible thought, the cat too will inevitably
hear the call of measly criminality that drives
their quarry and must stand resolute in their
suffering, else watch the flower of their altruistic
ideals wither and die. In my case, I release
my pent -up stress and wisely seek for my convictions
in a bottle of jelly wine. It tastes of sweet
justice, with floral notes of righteous fury
mingled into the darkness of your glass. With
an incredible variety of magical vintages inlaying
with all types of unique characteristics, there
is guaranteed to be a jelly wine for your taste.
So remember, citizens, drink Thelmira grape,
but heroes drink orange jelly wine. Grab a bottle
right now! I hated that. Hey, David, try talking
after that. Oh, God. You know what? It actually
wasn't as bad on my throat as I thought. Oh,
is that the Hooli Forge bottle opener there?
That's the Hooli Forge bottle opener. Rail spike
bottle opener. Nice. So quick story that you
were both here for, but for our wonderful friends
listening. Yeah. I asked Jeremy, I was like,
hey, do you have any beer? And he was like, not
really. And he pulls out this bottle. He's like.
I've got this triple, this imported triple. And
I'm like, I'm like, no, no, no. It's Thursday
night. Don't crack anything special, whatever.
He's like, it's not special. It's been in my
fridge for like years, blah, blah, blah. And
it's like, it's like if you were talking to somebody
at a barbecue and you're like, ah, shit, I forgot
the, I forgot the burgers. And somebody was like,
ah, no big deal. I've got, you know, dry aged
Wagyu steak or whatever. This is like, this is
like, so what I'm into. And, and Jeremy's just
like, eh. Not my bag. Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
That's amazing. Thank you, Jeremy. That's why
I offered it. Well, I don't know why we're giving
Stephen a lovely beverage. Oh, friendship tastes
great. Because we should be punishing him. You
know why, Jeremy? You know why, Stephen? Why?
Because we need a new closer now. A new ending
tagline for our little show. We'll call it there.
It was pretty good. It was pretty good. We'll
call it there. Up until Steven got a stinky,
dirty taint all over it. Just rubbed his taint
all over our closer. Yeah. I can say what I want.
Apparently you can too. I tell people it's PG
-13. Yeah. How'd it feel, Steven? Hope it was
worth it. How'd it feel to be a god? So you didn't
like it? It was pretty good. It's pretty good.
We're changing our closer. That was that. We're
done with, we'll call it there. Yeah. Pants people.
Result. No, no, no. What do you got? What do
you got? You'll find out. You'll find out. We'll
find out together in the moment. It's going to
be so stupid. You killed it. It's going to be
so dumb. No, you're so dumb. He's going to be
like, that's all, folks. I don't want you to
change it. No. Don't care. Your power trip ends
here. Shut it down. Shut it all. Shutting it
all down. Wow. And that began the downfall of
Fantasy Pan. I can hear it. They're printing
it in newspapers right now. They're just nothing
without that ending tagline. It's a really weird
turn. They just do it so well. And then all of
a sudden. I guess they called it there. Ooh.
Take a button. Button. No. Oh, my God. I thought
he was going to give it to you. I thought he
was going to give that to you first. I almost
did. I really almost did. That was really good.
Okay, I'm going to kill this bitch. Yeah. Oh,
my gosh. Oh, man. Yeah. I'll beat up Ibiza. Ibiza.
Yeah, we are in it, guys. We are in the final
battle of this arc. How do you feel about that?
We're almost there. You solved the mystery. You
caught the killer. You killed the killer. Yeah.
And now you got to kill the killer the killer
brought to kill you. This is Fantasy Pants. We
like to be convoluted. The reason the killer's
a killer. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Because who killed
the killer that inspired the killer to kill the
killer's killer? The killer's killer killed the
killer. Kill the killer, by the way? Yeah, good
show. Right? I'm lost. Jeremy, kill the killer.
What? Have you seen Kill la Kill? I don't know
what that is. No. You should watch it sometime.
It's great. Stephen, no one wants your opinion
on anything. My opinions are usually pretty simple.
It's like, yeah, that was good. Or, nah, haven't
seen it. Those are pretty much my two opinions.
If you can call the latter an opinion. It is
good, though. Wait, what were we talking about?
Killers. Killers. Speaking of killers. I want
to fight. You're fighting one. Let's get into
it. Let's get into it. Give me some siren escape.
We open on Diva Luma. Her mouth locked in unbelieving
awe. Her eyes still holding a spark of surprise.
They lay glazed over in her near -death state.
A coffee table lays shattered beneath her, and
a burnt orange rug of the Grandmaster's morning
room serves as our background. Remember, she
fell from one floor down to the other, smashed
through this table, landing here. Blood runs
from two fresh wounds delivered by mentor and
student in tandem, spurred on by the rallying
cry of the Captain of the Silent Verse. A perfect
team attack, and a fitting end for the woman
once known as Kala Mabarine. We stare down at
this killer diva as, like an ever -growing caterpillar,
the tendrils of thick, fuzzy moss that cover
her creep over across her face, consuming flesh,
muscle, and bone. And behind this jaw, we can
hear the sounds of sudden battle, the shouts
of duergar officers drawing arms, the screams
and cries of the royals in danger, the haunting
moans of the specters. All those unfortunate
heirs claimed by the diva's plot that now serve
the tetherless Ibiza above. The killer is dead,
but the flames of her ambitions have not yet
been doused. In this house, all lives currently
hang in the balance. It is up to our five heroes
to push those scales. Blanche, Jules, Jaune,
Chester, and Harlan. You face a monster of legend,
a beezer of the jungle, a rage spirit, the very
spirit of proud Eden who Jean Franklin had sought
to avenge at the start of all of this. And this
monster has just used a very strange magic on
you, targeting Harlan and Blanche, stoking and
inflaming feelings of rage and pushing them to
strike out at a nearby ally. Harlan made to strike
Jean, but the turtle deftly blocked the blow.
He's had some experience now battling this duergar
captain, but Blanche just turned her blade on
Jules and rolled a save against the Biza's magic.
A roll we did not see because Steven rudely interrupted
our whole show and ruined our tagline. Steven,
I should preface this roll by saying something.
In some regards, the buildup I made for this
roll Doesn't matter. It's not wholly... Yeah,
okay, that's right. It was a false cliffhanger.
We're frauds. We're frauds! And I'll explain
why. I'll explain why. I'll explain why. Bring
back, we'll call it there. It's not fully...
Hey, hey. It's dead. It's dead like you're gonna
be. All right, folks, and we'll call it there.
This ability I used on you would make you use
your reaction to attack a nearby ally when it's
within range. but Harlan just made you use your
reaction to strike the bees. I had forgotten
your reaction was burned. And so therefore, the
actual striking of Jules, you want to hit Jules,
but you're currently out of position as this
effect runs over you. You're like, you've just
like struck out and you're not in position to
strike again. You're currently, your weapon's
already fully out and drawn. You're in the sort
of second sort of step part of your stance. Out
of actions. Yeah, you're out of actions. You
cannot strike at Jules. But I think you should
still make the save. Because one thing I forgot
to add before is there is some damage tied to
it. In fact, I'm going to roll that damage for
Harlan. And if you fail, it's going to apply
to you as well. I'll tell you right now, Harlan
just took nine damage. As this haze comes over
you. You can feel it kind of like pushing into
your mind and flaming these feelings of rage.
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts Harlan. It's a nasty
blow for the duergar who was also looking pretty
rough after that first fight. That blow Jean
dealt to him hasn't fully healed. Yeah. Doesn't
hurt you, Blanche. What did you roll? Still a
wisdom save? The same save? It is a wisdom saving
throw. Okay. So it was a 13 on the die. I have
a plus three to wisdom. So that's a 16. Jeremy,
do you think I should use my bardic or not? Ooh.
Like 16, I mean, I feel like there's a great
chance that the save is a 15 or even lower. Right.
Well, let me show you what my plan is. Sorry,
Pants People, you can't see this, but I'm showing
Steven something on my screen. So do with that
what you will. I would like to save the Bardic
for the actual fight with the Beezer. Right.
I do also still have three slots. Okay. Oh, so
you're saying that you could just... Do it again.
Do that again. Yeah. Give me the pick of Minor
Destiny. Ooh. Ooh. Whoa. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So
heads, maker's mark. I'm going to use the bardic.
Tails, I'm going to save it. Oh. Oh my goodness.
I'm going to flip it on the floor because I have
stuff everywhere in front of me. That's tails.
No bardic. Okay. So we're going with a 16. Final
answer. This music sounds like the millionaire
show. 16, you say. With a 16, you're all right.
Okay, cool. All right. Push through that haze,
that rage. Push it down. You don't want to strike
jewels. And you don't. That pain fades. You do
not take damage. Awesome. Not bad. Oh, I didn't
realize that the save was for... Like wanting
to strike Jules. I thought it was just for the
damage. It was both. Oh my goodness. I would
have used my bardic if I knew that. No, you couldn't
have any reaction. You couldn't have struck Jules,
I realized. So it was less cool of a cliffhanger.
But it was still safe. It still mattered. Right.
Alright. It's still cool. Still cool. Blanche
is relieved of all of that now? It goes away.
In fact, even Marlin immediately just... Oh,
gosh, sorry. Okay, so it's kind of like... It
was just a reaction strike. Okay, I see. Anyone
who's familiar with the Visa stat block from
the book might realize I'm doing something totally
different. I'm, in fact, using a sort of upgraded
version of a stat block from a different module
from an adventure I really like. You want to
find out more? Check it out on Zipped after this
arc. Ooh, nice. Look at that. You're getting
good at this. That's how you do it right there.
That's how you... Hook him. Speaking of hooking
up, it's Chester's time. It's so stupid. It's
Chester's time. Chester, what you doing? Chester.
Chester is currently that same creeping, almost
caterpillar -like moss, tendrils of it, writhing
around him as well. He's going to take damage
from it at the start of his turn. First things
first. And that's before the save? is before
the save. That's five more damage to Chester.
Oh, God, Chester. It's not good, but as he takes
his damage, remember, he has temp HP from...
Yep. Yeah, from, what's it, Aspect of the Bear,
or what's it called? Yep. Bear's Endurance. Bear's
Endurance, yes. So he's got some... Oh, it's
all right. I feel like a bear. I feel like a
real bear. Oh, yeah. I got it, Jules. After that,
he can make a save now. Yep. He gets advantage
because I'm giving you an advantage on this because
normally Constitution checks aren't really that
much of a thing. I don't know. No one said anything
yet except it's not out yet. So no one argued
with me. So we're keeping the rule. All right.
All right, cool. All right. So who's got advantage
on this? Advantage on this. It's Khan, right?
It's Khan. Khan. Let us know. Email us or Discord
us or something. First roll was a two on the
die. Oh my gosh. Second roll was a three on the
die. Get out! He can't do it. He can't. He's
trying to bring himself to pull the moss. I hate
that so much. It's like the pain of the moss.
It holds his arms back when he's trying to reach
to pull it off of him. And he realizes he can't.
He can't do it. So what does he do instead? He
knows his friends are in danger. So did he waste
his action doing that? No, that was the save.
If you make the save, you can use your action.
Oh, right. Yes, yes, yes. Sorry, you gotta make
the save first and then use it. The save is to
see if you can push through the pain and overcome
the moss. It doesn't let you pull it off. Somebody
else can use an action for free to pull it off
of him, but he just can't do it himself right
now. But that temp HP may have saved him. I think
he's just gonna move a little closer to the door.
Okay. I don't see him doing anything else. He
can fire. He can. If he can get into line of
sight. If he moves up right next to Blanche here,
right in front of the door, he can peek out and
get into the visa. Because he's going to cast
hacks onto the visa. If you're in the spot where
the door, you can see out of the door. I'm not
going to say you can't. All right. We're going
to cast hacks onto the visa. Okay. Okay. That
is a bonus action, too. Mm -hmm. Oh, shit. Do
I roll? Yep. Let me double check. You place a
curse on a creature that you can see within range
until the spell ends. Deal an extra 1d6 necrotic
damage. Also, choose an ability. Oh, it just
happens. Yeah, it just happens. It just happens.
Yep. Hot dog. And it's concentration for up to
an hour. Okay. So, yeah. What do you choose?
So, you're going to get disadvantage on con.
Oh, man. Okay. On con saves. Okay. Yep. On top
of that. Chester gets, I mean, you have an action
still. You can make an attack and get that plus
six on it. Though the moss isn't stopping him.
He can still see. It's like crawling onto his
face, like running into his freckles. He's kind
of like, he can still rise, grits his teeth,
holds up. All right. All right, cool. Come on,
you undead thing. Come on. I'm taking you out.
Don't you hurt my friends. Cracked. Nevermind,
I cracked it. 14. 14 hits. Oh, okay. All right.
Okay. Okay. I'll take it. Yeah. But physical
damage against a spectral. Yeah. That's what
I'm thinking. The catch is going to be. Oh yeah.
That's a hero. The five on that. Okay. Doesn't
all fully go through. You get the D six for the
hex. What is the hex's damage type again? Necrotic.
Necrotic. Necrotic. Oh. I just, it just hit me.
Yeah. The hex. I mean, the visa still feels weakened.
I mean, honestly, I'm doing hex more for the
disadvantage. That's good. Hey, that's a good
thing. Um, okay. So none at all. Okay. That was
a question. What? Oh, wait. None at all. Shit.
Yeah. Damn. Give me a quick second. Pause real
fast. All right, sorry for the delay, folks.
We took a little break. I meant to do wisdom
for the disadvantage, if that is okay. That makes
sense. Jules, in my memory, has a lot of wisdom.
Yeah, my brain was all twisty because we just
did the contract. I was a little excited. Yeah.
I was a little excited. Oh, benevolent DM. But
Chester's turn is still here. Hand is still on
the chest piece the way I see it. The Chester
piece? The Chester piece. Oh, my God. You want
a button for that? Take a button. Take a button.
No. This is literally the exact opposite of the
last one. I'm drowning over here, or the opposite
of drowning. You ruined our tagline. We're not
having buttons. No buttons for you. You're drowning
in buttons. You don't need another button. No.
So, yes, the Beezle would be disadvantaged for
wisdom. I'll allow it, and I love it. That's
cool. Yeah. So, Beezle, you hit. This falls into
the same category. Ability checks. Not saves.
Really? Yeah, it says choose one ability. Oh,
shit. I didn't realize that. Yeah, that part
of Hex is not super powerful. Oh, I did not know
that until now. Oh, shit. Yep. Good note. Good
note. Actually, good catch, honestly. So I'm
just going to take a button. Okay, so yeah. Fuck
Hex. Cancel Hex. He just attacks with a short
bow. And a little damage goes through. He's done.
He's going to use some of the rest of his movement,
though, to get back behind Blanche. Okay, all
right. He feels like that dark magic kind of
like pouring out of him, but then he looks at
the target and realizes it's the same magic.
He gained this magic from fighting an undead
monstrosity, from living in that sort of the
trauma of facing that thing. And I think Chester
realizes in that moment, this instinct drives
him to say, this magic won't work on something
like that. He sees this rage spirit, its bulging
eyes, its red, hazy form, and he imagines, he
thinks of the hands. Cully Jr., the soul shaker.
But he still fires. And that's me, Blanche. So
I just want to say real fast that, especially
when it's zoomed out a little bit, the token
for the Beezer kind of looks like Batman. Oh,
my God, it does. It does. For anyone that's in
the know, it's a Wraith token. It's the Wraith.
Basic Wraith. It's Batman. Pretty Batman -y.
I'm going to basically slide all up on this Wraith
shit here across from Jean Franklin and going
to take a swing with my Shadowblade longsword.
Oh, snap. Oh, baby. Right. You have Shadow Blade
active again, don't you? Well, yeah, it's active
for a minute. Did you activate it in the first
round? I can't remember now. Yes. You did. Okay,
yeah. That's right, yeah, because we have the
poison to the shadow. Yeah, that's right. Cool,
cool, cool, cool. Yes. Which was generous of
you to do because you know. Hell yeah. What do
you got? What do you got? 13. A 13? You think
a 13 is going to hit this visa? Well, we know
a 14 did. It just hits you. It just hits. That's
the AC. Wow. You got the visa. Okay. I mean,
knock on wood, that's not too bad. That's not
too bad. That's not too bad. Too bad. 3d8. On
3d8, 3, 3, 2. Oh. Eight damage on 3d8. Eight
damage. I'm guessing that's psychic damage. Yeah.
You think. Psychic damage is going to affect
this visa? I mean, kind of. Yeah, it is. It does
full damage. That makes sense to me. It does
full damage. Oh, dude, yeah, that's right. Without
the shadow blade, it would just be physical damage,
and yeah. You jackanap, you got it. You got it.
Wait, what did you say? You what? Jackanap? Look
at him. This is a new word to me. It's like when
you take an ape and you name him Jack. Jules
Roche, you're out. Jack and Abe. All right. No,
stop it. You calm down. I don't mean to pull
us out of the fight here, but I meant to do something
at the top of the episode. Oh, yeah. That I forgot
to do. What? That I forgot to do. David. How
dare you? Before I do this, can you do me a favor
and explain to me what else is in the room other
than the Shire's Lounge? Is there any other furniture?
Like, is there a dresser? Is there... Yeah, yeah,
yeah. I'd say there's quite a few... You mean
a Shifero? What? What? It's a fancy -ass chandelier
over the ceiling. There's a couple of fine dressers.
There's one right behind where Jean stands, kind
of tucked in the corner, right in front of the
door that leads out of this room. Okay. Flashback.
What? What? What? You give me a button. You give
it to me. I'll give you a button. Oh, shit. I'll
give you a button. What are you flashbacking
at? I got to give two shout -outs here. You jack
-o' -lantern. For this idea that I'm ashamed
that I didn't think of. Originally. I want to
thank both Jeannie and Cassie for this. What?
Flashback to the first moment that Jules goes
into the dressing room by himself. He's going
to take out the recording diamond, say, record,
and he's going to tuck it on a shelf. Oh, yeah,
the shelves and closets. There's all sorts of
clothes hanging. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I thought
you were in the dressing room right now. Facing
the chaise lounge. So you have? I have all of
it. All of it. You son of a... Cassie? And Jeannie.
And Jeannie. Yeah, I'm just getting there. Let
me hit my dramatic pause. All right. And you
know why I heard this? What? In the Discord.
Join the Discord, folks. Okay. We have a Discord.
You know what? It's out of control tonight. Well,
I mean, like, it makes perfect sense because
it's like a police investigation. Like, you would
set up a camera before you do. A whole laundry
list of interrogations. It's a good move. It's
a good move. It's a good move. It's a great move.
It's a fantastic move. You, sir, make a move.
We see this battle taking place. Blanche flooding
out of this room and turns to Jules, and we see
Jules with the perspective of a camera facing
out towards him, towards the Shea Lounge, towards
the hole where Diva Luma has fallen through.
A camera that would have caught everything she
said. We now have justification for killing a
very popular luminary. Yeah. Damn. Damn. I'll
still get you somehow. Yeah, of course you will.
All right, Jules. That was your whole turn, so...
Let's move on. Three episodes ago. Yeah, flashbacks
cost a button, an action, and a bonus action.
And your movement, yeah. That's crazy. In fact,
that's your next turn, too. Blanche did not use
her bardic, correct? That is correct. Okay. You
do see the moss is still burning, consuming your
little buddy. Get your moss off your little buddy.
So what's happening is Jules is going to go over
and... Steven! Hey, hey! Serious time for serious
podcasters. I'm sorry. That's just what it was
called when I was a little boy. So I can just
use my action to get it off him? Yes. Is that
it? Yep. Okay, so I'm going to do that. It burns
your hands. You're ripping it off. It kind of
sizzles. It's kind of trying to eat you if you
just throw it to the side. It's not on you, so
you're not going to fight against the pain of
it to pull it away. It doesn't mess with you,
but you're a hungry moss, torn apart, thrown
to the side, eating through the walls and floor,
but no longer on Chester. Oh, thanks, Jules.
You know, I just realized I didn't add my flanking
bonus with that. I mean, I hit anyways, but I
would have been really annoyed if I missed. I
always got you, Chester. And then I'm going to
use my bonus action to cast Bardic Inspiration.
Oh. On to Chester. Oh, yes, you pull the moss
off, and then just like the loot glows that same
blue. Just kind of covers him. He gets the golden
moat around him. As you kind of pull this off,
he just feels in strength and just like, yeah,
you always got me. Pulls his bow out. And I got
your back, too. So get ready, Beezer. Spins around
the corner, ready to go. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah.
Jules and Chester. Okay. And that's Jules' turn?
That is Jules' turn. Yep. Okay. Jules and Chester's,
like, couple name would be Jester. Or Jules.
I like Jules. No. Stop. Hey, no. Let's not do
a Jules and Chester couple name. Guys, it's Jules
LaMeet. He's like 14. He's 16. We're still flaming
the people. What's the age of the consent on
the Radiant Citadel? Okay, stop. Serious time,
serious podcasters. I'm going to do a legendary
action attack. Oh, my God. Yeah, fuck you. Stupid.
Here it comes. I'm going to use my Maddening
Touch attack. I'm going to use it on Harlan.
Harlan seems to be causing some problems for
me, so this Beezer spins around towards Harlan
and comes out with these red, hazy claws to get
him straight in. And that's going to hit. So
let's do some damage. Oh no, look at his face.
Whoa, that's 4d6? Dude. Dude. Harlan takes 18
points of psychic damage. What the fuck? Harlan
is barely standing as this thing rips in him.
Oh my god. He pulls like a piece of metal. Jesus.
Screams out as this thing hurts. It hurts. How
many times do you have that, you think? But Harlan
still stands. Probably enough. It's actually
Harlan's turn. With this last bit of strength,
perhaps Harlan's last chance, he's going to strike
out. Two attacks. He doesn't get flanking. Two
hits. Oh, nice. Hell yeah. Well, the AC is low.
We know that. Low AC, but Harlan is not using
a magical weapon, unfortunately. Solid damage.
I'll tell you right now, it's 19 halved. That's
eight, right? That's half to the lower? No, that's
nine. It's not my strong suit. Cut all that.
Two swipes, but more importantly, get her! Get
her! Call to attack, which means that, again,
up to three allies within 120 feet that can hear
me. Use the reaction to make one weapon attack.
It does not say melee weapon attack, which means
Chesta can make a reaction attack. Blanche, your
turn has happened. Your reaction is back. You
can make an attack. What happens if Blanche doesn't
want to use her reaction? You don't have to.
You know what? It's better for Blanche to make
the attack and potentially get the big damage
off. Shadow Blade up, rather than just save it
for her shield spell. Makes sense. Jaune also
can make this attack. Okay. Should Jaune make
it, or... Well, because you don't really have,
like, a... Jules can't. Jules has no melee or
ranged weapons. Gotcha. Physical attack. Chesta
can make it. Blanche can make it. Jaune can make
it. Okay. Up to three, and those are the only
three that can, so... Understood. Put it out
there. All right. I'm going to make it for both
of them, then. Okay. All right. For Jean first,
because I have his page up. That is a 19. Six
on the D6, plus two, but you're going to have
it, because you suck. I do suck. Then for Blanche.
17. 15 with the shadow blade. Not bad, Blanche.
A solid blow. Jaune strikes again, another team
attack. You two rally, strike out. Chester, you
see this opening as the sort of haze blasts off
this beast. It screams. Chester turns, emboldened
by this bardic inspiration, emboldened by jewels.
And that is another 14. That will hit. Mm -hmm.
Ooh. For minimum damage, one on the die plus
three. For four. Dang it. Scratch, you know,
kind of blast through. Okay. It's a scratch,
hazy scratch. Cuts through like the waist or
shoulder. But still, a little bit of that haze
bursts off. This thing is getting weaker. All
right, that's Harlan. A round of screams around
the house. The specters are making their move.
One round passes. Jaune. Jean is going to rebuke
evil and issue his nightly challenge. Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. Okay. For listeners, a quick reminder.
Jean Franklin can forego the frighten effect
of rebuke evil to instead make all creatures
that fail the saving throw vulnerable to his
own spear attacks. While vulnerable, these creatures
have disadvantage against targets other than
Jean Franklin. Hell yeah. Wait, wait. Okay. I
think, though. I think. This is going to hit
me. I think we may have used this today during
the Caiman Battle. I know it's been a thousand
years since the giant Caiman Battle, but I believe
this was used. He can't use it until he finishes
his long rest. Not until the long rest. I think
that, John Franklin, your resources are burnt,
gentlemen. This is the final fight. Okay. But
you've been through the gauntlet on this day.
Yeah. The caiman was this day. Okay, then. Jesus
Christ. What's he going to do then? All right.
Got really nothing else to do but a... I guess
we'll call it there, then. Shut up. It's good.
You can't share any glory. That's your problem,
David. You can't share the glory. All right.
Sorry. No, I'm just going to make a spear attack.
Oh, this is rough. That's just an 11. So... Eleven
will not. Wait. Flanking. Plus two. Thirteen.
Thirteen will hit. I forgot flanking for the
past, like, three or four attacks. Oh, man. Yeah.
Goes to strike. Oh, it's going to miss. Then
Blanche kind of works around such a way to, like,
give Jean the opening. Battlefield control. These
two together are all about it. Five on the D6.
If it wasn't for us fighting Ibiza, Jean would
be doing, like, I mean, almost halfway decent.
Yeah. It's plus two, you said? Yes. D6 plus two,
so seven. Okay. And then halved. Hey, you're
still getting that damage in. Getting there.
It's not, you know, these consistent attacks,
it's adding up, it's adding up. I will say. Pick,
pick, picking away. Picking away at this restless
spirit. It is now this restless spirit's turn.
Oh, what do I want to do? I have so many mean
things. Man, I feel like Blanche hasn't gone
yet since you went. Oh, let's see. Literally,
because the beezy used the thing on Harlan. Was
that a legendary action? Did we skip Blanche?
That was legendary. Fucking, of course it was
legendary. That was a legendary action. You think
I don't have legendary actions on my boss monster?
I have them on both my boss monsters. I'm crazy.
Okay. Here's what we're going to do. It's going
to suck. I want to use... Little ability called
Howling Babble. Who to use it on, though? Harlan's
almost down. Feels so wasteful on him. How about
our Tortle Prince? The one that just struck.
Yes, I think that would be quite nice. I need
Jean Franklin. to make a wisdom saving throw
as this creature just turns towards him. Screaming
a strange language, a strange demonic sort of...
It sort of floods into his mind. That same red
haze recovering his features, pushing into his
ears, into his mind. He's frozen for the moment.
And pain wrecks his features. Make that save.
Before I make the save... No. Shut up. Before
I make the save... Okay. Okay. No, it's not player
specific. It's character specific. Never mind.
I was going to ask about bardic inspiration,
but I'm an idiot. It's definitely character specific.
It's not like a button. It's a nine on the die.
That's all he's got. Okay. That's all he's got.
Poor little tortle. He's got no wisdom. He's
got no whiz in that dome. This is going to suck.
Stop. Stop! David. David. I will jump across
this table. Both of them. That is going to be...
Oh my gosh. Stop. 21 points of damage. Oh my
god. You're an asshole. And because John Franklin
failed to save, he is stunned. Until the end
of his next turn. So he has no actions? No. You're
a dick. John just, this sort of thing strikes
and he's like, Proud Eden, I wanted to help you.
Why are you fighting us now? Just spins around
like, why did you want us? What were you wanting
with us? Screams out, eyes locked, just in this
visage of horrible pain. And he is frozen. But
that's my turn. That's going to be Chester. Chester!
Uh, yeah, he's gonna do what he does. And that
will hit with a 19. Ooh, that will indeed hit.
For again, minimum damage. One on the die, plus
three. Another little scratch on the side of
it. He's still just doing his thing. Yeah, yeah.
Alright then. That's Chester's move. Uh, yeah,
and he's gonna duck around the other side of
the door. after he does that. Oh, hell yeah.
So he's not in line of sight. Okay, Chester's
not in line of sight. That is perfectly fine.
Yeah, you got space there. You're in the back
closet. You're moving around. All right. That's
going to be Blanche. Does Blanche still get flanking
even though Jean is stunned? Yes. Okay. Jean
being in that spot, I think, yeah, I don't think
it's going to change that. As long as Jean is
a targetable opponent, I think flanking will
apply. Yeah, well, the way I saw it is Blanche
could step one space over to be in flanking with
Harlan if that was the... Yeah, so Blanche sees
Jaune go into this state, and she says, don't
be afraid, Jaune. This isn't a real predator,
only an imitator. Would the lion seek revenge
on the mouse? I think not. 19 on the die. That
will hit. You were getting some damage in. Yeah.
14. I started to count this as a nine, but then
I realized I'm rolling a D8. That means it's
a six, not a nine. Gotcha, right. Okay, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Tell me a minute, tell me a minute.
I can't math today. I didn't know eight was less
than nine. All right, then. Just barely. Anything
else you want to do there, Blanche? Blanche -y
-poo? Nothing. She has no bonus action to throw
out there. Okay. You have just made your action.
So I will use my full legendary action points
to cast Whispers of Violence again. The same
haze is going to flood out. I want to make some
people attack some people. I want to do. I want
that. I'm going to go for Blanche. I'm going
to go for Harlan. And maybe, just maybe, I'll
finish off Harlan with this, too. Wisdom save?
Wisdom saves on you both. Still got my Bardic.
Wait. Ooh, I need it this time. Did you say wait?
Oh, it doesn't matter. I just realized I can't.
Blanche isn't next to anybody, so I can't really
attack anybody. But I might as well have Harlan
attack Jaune anyway and just do damage to Blanche.
It's fine. Still going for it. That's so... Before
the bardic that's 11, I'm rolling my bardic die,
though. Okay. Okay. I think it was a... I don't
remember what it was that passed last time. Oh,
a 15 passed. I think it's 15. Oh, 16? 16. Oh.
Seven, so you made it. Nice. You made it. Okay.
This thing comes over. You don't take damage.
Here's the question. Harlan. Harlan needs to
make a save. Be strong of mind, Harlan. Harlan
is 5 HP. Oh, God. I'm going to roll this in your
box. It's close to me. I want this to be public.
I'm going to move it here. Harlan's a plus one.
Oh, no. So he needs a 15 or higher? That's what
you had to pass. Ten. Harlan fails. Okay. So
Blanche is safe from damage. If I roll anything
higher than two on this D8, Harlan Burnshadow
is going unconscious. right on the rim of the
dice tower. I don't know if that's a good sign
for him or us. Before I look at it, do we want
to keep that or not? It's your call. It's, you
know. Okay, it's been Danny. It's been Danny.
Okay, let's roll us again in the tower. It's
a one on the die. It's a one on the die. Danny
did it. Danny did it. She rolled over there.
She was like, oh, shit, that's a five, and she
nuzzled it. Amazing. Amazing. Okay, Harlan is
at one HP? Oh, my God. Yeah, I was wrong. It
had to be a one. It literally had to be a one.
I was going to say. I was like, yeah, if he's
got one HP, I'm going to die. It's a plus three.
It had to be a one. That's crazy. Holy shit.
Nice. Okay. What are the odds? Dude, barely standing.
Harlan is still there. That's going to be Jules.
I want to get to Harlan, but that's scary. You're
so squishy, Jules. I know. I'm very squishy.
Oh, shit. So, let me guess. Yeah, this time Jules
will go to the door and cast Vicious Mockery
onto Babiza. Okay. Okay. That is a wisdom save
for you. Take this, you old hag. So offended.
That is a 13. That is a fail. Oh, snap. So you
take 1d4 psychic damage. Oh, and that's getting
through. So let's get that out of the way. You
guys are bringing the psychic damage. Alakazam,
baby. That's only two, but it's something. It's
something. And you have disadvantage on your
next attack roll. Ooh, that's the clincher right
there. That's pretty damn good. Okay. Yeah, before
the end of your next turn. You've seen what these
attacks can do. That's really good. Got a bonus
action for me? Mm -mm -mm. Ooh, especially with
Harlan at 1 HP. Right. That's big. That's big.
And then I'm going to recast. You know what?
No, no, no. I'm going to cast Bardic Inspiration
onto Jaune. Oh, okay. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. You
just, like, see Jaune just, like, wrapped by
pain, just staring out, mouth open, eyes just
wide. Doesn't know what's happening. He's shaking.
He's shaking. And this light from your loot,
again, just strikes out towards him. Kind of
covers him. That golden mote goes around him.
Your presence. You see a little bit of relief
come to his features. A little bit of peace come
to his mind. His friend is there. His friend
is there with him in this pain. Friendship tastes
so good. And that's going to be Harlan. Stop
with your smile. I thought it was a decent callback.
What? When did we say that? You don't pay attention
to anything, David. I don't. You don't listen
to anything I say. Dude was trying to kill you
all, but first he had to kill me with Harlan.
I hate this. I can't believe Harlan still stays
turned around like... Your magic made me hurt
people. You tried to make me a monster, but I'm
no monster. I slay the monsters. He goes into
strike twice. He's going to miss the first one.
But hit on the second. Nice. For max damage.
Excellent. That would be 12 points of damage.
Half to six. A good, fearsome blow strikes through
this thing. I watched the first one. He rips
into it. I'm so stupid. I should be in flanking
with Harlan, not with Jaune. Like, Jaune's damage
is D6 plus 2. Harlan gets two attacks, and his
damage is higher. Harlan then calls out, Slay
the monster with me! Allies, slay the monster!
And you... feel that urge to strike again. All
right. I can choose up to three allies, and I'll
let you choose which three get to attack. Jules,
you're still not in range, so I guess... Yep.
And actually, Jaune can't, so only two. Only
Chester and Blanche can actually strike this
thing. All right, Jaune. No actions for Jaune.
All right, so let me roll for Blanche. That's
a 21. Nice. How many rounds? Should I be worried
about losing Shadowblade anytime soon? It's one
minute. No, you're good. We're on. This is round
three. 16 psychic damage with Shadowblade. That's
a lot of damage. Oh, yeah. This thing is looking
weaker and weaker by the second chest at what
you got for me. For the third time, 14. It's
amazing. It hits. You need more than a... For
the third time. Get out. One on the die. Plus
three. That's so weird. I'm calling a time loop.
This is so fucking stupid. I hate this. That's
incredible. I hate this so much. I'm calling
it now. No one's rolled a crit yet this episode.
I'm calling it. Crit what? You gotta specify.
Someone's critting. Specify. Attack roll. I'll
crit. I'll crit, sure. It might be David. I just
feel it. I can feel like someone's going to crit
before the end of this episode on an attack roll.
Wave a moan. Downstairs from the room beside
you where Fjodor and the... From the closet nearby
where Amos and Larissa stand against Azra. Screams.
Another round passes. Jaune does not make a move.
But as his turn ends, feeling that sort of comfort
from Jules, he, damn it, damn it, snaps out of
it. I'm here, sir. I'm here. And that's what
he proudly done again. Made my legendary before,
and now I get to make my attack. Jaune, did you
hear what I said earlier about the predator thing?
I thought it was kind of cool. I just want to
make sure that you had it. Yes, it was cool.
It was really cool. What are we doing? Fight!
Oh, man. Let's see if I recharge Howling Babble
first. Did you just say Howling Babble? That's
the thing I did to John. It's nasty. But it takes
a recharge. It did not come back. Which means
I'm going to go for an attack. Disadvantage.
Yeah. There it is. There it is. He remembered.
Yeah. I'm going to attack Blanche. Bring it on.
I don't have my reaction, though. But Blanche
is doing the most damage. Oh, this isn't using
a reaction. This is just taking you. No. I don't
have my reaction for shield. Oh, that's right.
Good. Good. Perfect. I mean, I still have a 21
AC, but. I need two crits. With this advantage,
that is going to be an 11 to hit. That is not
enough. This thing strikes out, but like Jules
sort of words kind of weaken. It strikes. It
comes out towards you and your blade song. You
just. Cut through it, parry this spiritual hand
that reaches out to grasp you. Blast it away
and leave it open to strike. Proud Edom can't
get in. And that is my turn. That's going to
be Chester. Take that, pretender. Oh, shit. All
right, he's going to keep doing it. Hopefully
with better numbers this time. 16. Okay. Okay,
that's different. It's different. It's different.
It's different. It still hits. Well, this is
the one that you need to roll back. Fuck me.
Are you kidding me? You're joking. I'm not. That's
four ones in a row. This is amazing. Oh, man.
Okay. All right. Hey, dude, he's consistent.
Yeah. I'm going to continue to mention, too,
that he's basically rounding the corner to make
his attack and then going back around the corner
so he stays out of sight. Back against the wall.
Spins around. Fire. Comes back. I love it. Maybe
that's why he's only rolling. for us every time.
He's just doing it fast. Yeah, getting the sort
of side shots. Yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Okay,
that's Blanche. Okie doke. Blanche is going to
rinse and repeat. I feel like we've got to be
getting close to this thing. It's been a lot
of hits. It's like a 23. Blanche with the damage.
Oh my gosh. No, that wasn't damage. I know, I'm
saying you're hitting every turn with this thing.
And you're doing full damage with Shadow Blade.
Like, damn, damn. Wizards. Only 13 to hit this
time. Damage, I mean. Looking quite bad. Oh,
my goodness. We're so close. I have to make a
move. I have to make a move here. This thing
is beefy. I have to make a move on somebody.
I mean, it has been taking only half damage a
lot of the time, too. Well, not with the Psychic.
Oh, right, right, right. And, like, Blanche has
been able to go, like, I think twice every round
because of Harlan. Oh, my God. Damn. Okay, you're
right. You're right. You're absolutely right.
Legendary action. I'm attacking Harlan. Stop.
He's got to go. Stop. He's got to go. We've got
to keep Harlan up. You're right. You're actually
more right. Legendary action, whispers of violence.
I'm targeting Harlan. Stop. And I'm targeting
Jules, standing beside Chester. Let's make you
attack your buddy. That hay shoots out to Jules,
to Harlan again. He's failed this like every
time. Let's see if he fails this time. What do
you got to hit? I forgot to have Harlan attack
Jaune last time, didn't I? Is he under the thing?
He was before. He didn't attack Jaune. I hit
him with it. He didn't attack Jaune. Damn. Let's
just roll it. He's got a 19 AC. I feel pretty
good about it. All right, let's do that. You
would have missed. There you go. Perfect. Advantage
because you're stunned. You're stunned. Fuck.
You still missed. Get bounced on the ship. Yeah,
we're good. Off the shell. Okay. Now we can sleep.
We can sleep tonight. We can sleep easy. But
can Jules sleep after striking at Chester? Roll
your die, Jules. Take my last button. Okay. Okay.
I'll take it. I'll take it. I have a negative
one wisdom. Ah. That's right. 18. There you go.
First one was a 10 on the die, second was a 19
on the die. Oh, you needed the button. I needed
the button. This hits you. I needed it. It hits
you, and you feel this rage bubbling inside you
as you look towards Chester, and something amazing
happens. That same sort of misty, like, fey magic
that you shared once before in that moment. Just
outside the pale moonlight when you were splitting
up then. As you had this heartfelt moment, I
think you hear almost the sounds of your lute.
It's not playing, but you feel it. You hear it
in your heart, in your mind. Chester hears it
too. You lock eyes. You can't hurt Chester. You
could never hurt Chester. And the pain of this
thing washes off of you. You are untouched. You
can't fuck with Jules and Chester. Oh, you can't
fuck with Jules and Chester. No one's going to
come between Jester. But can you fuck with Harlan
Burnshadow? Jules. Stop it. Harlan fails. God
damn it. Here's the interesting thing. No, it's
not interesting. Take the damage and makes a
reaction attack. I take the damage first, I'm
assuming, which means he goes down before the
reaction attack. So Harlan will not be hitting
Jaune. I can't try. He just... Goes down. Which
means I'm not going to be helping you out this
time. Thank goodness. And that's going to be
Jules. With Harlan down, one of your most stalwart
allies has fallen, Jules. You got to step up.
If you want to finish this thing off, the house
is screaming around you. People might be dying
in this thing. This thing is pulling the strings.
What are you going to do about it? It's either
I attack where I'm at. Or I go to Harlan. I hate
this so much. Yeah. Honestly, Jaune can protect
you. Yeah. Well, that's what I was thinking.
I'm at least next to Jaune. Yeah. Stay five feet
away from Jaune. Yep. And you'll be cool. Okay.
Jules will go to Harlan. Okay. And he will kneel
down. Not on my watch, brother. And he will cast
level three. Cure wounds. Oh, shit. That's 3d8
plus 4. Oh, man. Okay. Holy hell, you rolled
that. Incredible. I rolled two 8s. Nice. And
a 6. Oh, excellent. For 26. That's with a plus
4. Wow. Wowzas. That is incredible. Hey, David.
What? Look at this. Look at this. You see this?
See what I'm doing with my hand? That's a beautiful
middle finger. Hey. Harlan's eyes snap open.
You see immediately as blurry, sort of tear -filled
eyes take you in. You. After everything I did.
You. I don't deserve this. But I will make good
on it. I will! I do agree, a third level spell
slot was quite a lot, but you have proven to
be quite useful, so. Holy shit, Jules. And then
Jules will recast his Bardic Inspiration onto
Blanche. Booyah. That is the final one. I gotta
find another D8 to remind me. And then, how long
was that distance I traveled? Like 10 feet? 15
feet to get to Harlan? It was... It would have
been 10 feet. You're actually sharing a space
with John Franklin to reach him, though, so it
would be about 20 feet worth. It costs double
when you're moving through that space. Okay.
Yeah, I'll stay where I'm at, then, if I can.
Should you move back to the door? No. With John
Franklin. Yes. You couldn't stand on his face,
but you can move around the back of the visa
by Harlan's side. I want to be within five feet
of John Franklin, so I'm going to go on this
side. Yeah, okay, so you step outside the door.
You move up your sword behind Jaune. You reach
down, save Harlan. You step back, move behind
Jaune again. Stand within five feet. You're all
together, all together now, battling this thing.
And Harlan is back, baby. Booyah. It was worth
a third -level spell slot, I think. He's going
to stand up. He's going to make some attacks.
I still didn't move. Why didn't I move? Flashback.
No. I'm not going to really flashback, but I'm
just so stupid for not moving. Doesn't matter.
He hit twice. Okay. I guess that's why I wasn't.
Not the most agile, but too swift. Strikes his
blades like, all right, together now. Let's save
them. Let's save them all. I will tell you right
now, every time the specters make their turn,
something. Bad is happening. Behind the scenes,
the specters go after Harlan. He's calling out
to anyone with a reaction to make an attack.
So you're saying we've got to end this now? I'm
saying you might end this now, and you damn well
better. Okay. So is it going to be the same three?
Is it going to be Jean, Blanche, and Chester?
Jules is in range. You choose. Okay, yeah, if
you have damaging. Chester still has the better
shot at doing damage. I'll roll for Blanche and
Jaune. I'll roll for Blanche first. Don't forget
those Bardics. They can still give you damage,
too, remember? Oh, that's right. Thunder damage
bonus on Jules' Bardics. Oh, dude, you just gave
it to us. Don't sleep on it. Don't sleep on it.
It's cool. Yeah, okay. I'm going to do that,
then. That's right. It's a hit for Blanche. I
rolled 10 on the die, plus 7 is 17. I'm going
to use Blanche's Bardic here. And it does. It
does like electric damage to the whatever the
face value is or something like that. Thunder.
Thunder. Thunder damage. You're going to correct
me for that one? Eight on the D8. Nice. Oh, my
God. Jules, a 10 to save. I'm guessing that's
not going to do it. Huh? A 10 to save against
your spell save DC? Fuck no. Okay. All right.
I'm taking a full eight. All right. Let me roll
three more of these for Shadowblade for Blanche.
Oh, my God. 19. Go ahead. I want everyone to
roll their damage. Everyone get in there. I want
this to be a full -ass team attack. Jaune's got
to roll his to hit first. But it sounds like
we're there. Do your thing. This is cool as shit.
Everyone's doing their thing. Jaune doesn't hit.
I'm sorry. It's over Jaune. He sucks. Wait, hold
on. 3, 5, and 2. No, not quite. Okay. Chester's
last shot to hopefully do something. Chester's
been great. He's hit a lot, just not for much.
Yeah, that's a 26. Oh, yeah. 18 plus 8. Oh, yeah.
Max. Finally. Six on the die plus three. Nice.
He finally hones in. He steps up this time, and
he feels it. He fires out towards this thing.
Eye shot, head shot. blasts through. At the moment,
this thing rips through this Beezus, open, sort
of screaming mouth. Blanche steps out. Swipe,
swipe, swipe with the blade in Jules' magic pile.
Jules reverberates through you, down your arms,
this golden mote entering into the shadow of
the Shadowblade. Gold and black intermingle in
this display of light as this thing strikes out
the Beezus. What does it look like when you finish
this thing off? Blanche's arm comes down with
her sword fully extended and from head to toe,
slices right through it and the smoke, the iridescent
sort of mist of this wraith just splits in half
down the middle and dissipates, drops to the
floor and spreads out and vanishes. I gotta say,
nobody crit. I was wrong. Chester almost cried.
He got an 18 on the time. And you do one more
thing for me now. This thing vanishes. You see
Harlan just breathing hard. Everyone in this
room breathing hard. Hurt, scarred, weapons out,
but standing still. Silence in the house. The
moans of these specters, the heirs that were
killed, that were taken so early, vanish with
this thing. To whatever fate they go to, you
don't know. Perhaps freed from their eternal
bondage to this monster. You don't know. There's
one more thing you don't know. Who lived. Who
survived the onslaught. I need someone to roll
a D6 for me. Stop. Here's the formula. So before
we do this. Yeah. Is there any, does it have
any bearing on the outcome? Because Blanche is.
It has to run to DePiero. Like, Broom of Flying...
It will not have a bearing. What has happened
has already happened. Combat was occurring while
you were fighting this. 1d6 minus... This is
a lot. 1d6 minus 6 minus x, x equaling the rounds
of combat. The Spectres got to make a move. It
would have been three rounds. It was only two.
The Spectres appeared in the first round. I don't
count that. In the second and third round, they
did attack. They struck. Things happened. The
third round... Harlan and you guys in tandem
face this thing off before the specters made
their move. Six minus two. 1D6 minus four. That's
how many people have died. Who wants to roll
this dice? It has to be yours? Yes. Fuck. I don't.
And you have to roll it in the port of pain.
Oh, you sick son of a bitch. Asshole. Get over
here. Who's doing it? Danny will do it. No, Danny's
proven herself unloyal to me. What do you do?
Wait, are you a victim of Danny yet? Oh my gosh.
I don't know how this is going to work. I don't
understand. I just feel like she's going to swallow
it or something. All right. Put it on her paw.
This is the best. Wait, why is there no video
of this? Danny. Oh, oh, oh. Danny rolled a six.
Mine is four. Danny, you little asshole. I have
a D20 table. I'm going to roll two d20s. No.
And they are going to correlate to two people
who are dead. Do not. Do not do this to me. And
we'll end the episode like that. And we'll call
it there. Oh, that's... And that's the end. Hold
on, wait. You can't really... We're done now.
Go home. I have the power here. It's over. No.
No. No, wait. What?