Hey, Pants people. I want to thank you guys so,
so much for helping us build this beast into
what it is today. Not only are we sitting here
almost two years into this podcast, almost 100
episodes. We're getting there. We're also just
getting out there. We went to Mountain Mania
recently, did a live show. We actually recently
went to the Vermont Renaissance Fair. We have
Nerd Out Nights at Reckless we're hosting. So
we're getting out. We're meeting people. And
we're really, really hoping to meet all of you.
So if you want us to come out your way, go to
these bigger expos and fairs and whatnot. whatnot
across the country. I'm not saying it's impossible.
If we get bigger, if you get our names out there,
we'll get out there. We'll meet you. We'll find
all of you. We'll personally give you each a
hug. So please share us on social medias, Instagram,
Facebook. I'm bad at that part. Thank you so
much, guys. We love you. Mix, Masimo Aang and
their family had been found off of the River
of Gold, the road that leads between the Gemstone
Plaza Anduari and the city of Zinda. Now we knew
that Masimo Aang and their family had been on
a trip off -world enjoying some time on Umizu,
and that they were set to return to their home
just in time to join the celebrations of the
March of Vice. Well, it seems they did return
in the earliest hours of the morning, boarding
the Bastai Conquer Jewel at around 4 a .m. Sometime
after that, they were seemingly assaulted on
their way to the city. Murdered after being chased
off of the road. And there's more, too. There's
evidence that the family's own guards turned
on them, cutting them down and then turning on
each other. No one in their retinue left the
scene alive. Now this is an unprecedented tragedy.
With the continuing lockdown of the Grand Master's
Palace, we are all left to wait and to wonder.
What the hell is happening? Insane, duh. A single
pinch. Meticulously and maliciously measured.
Like a proud chef seasoning a pot of boiling,
savory stew. The work of a master artist, that
single pinch. So seemingly benign, this pink
powder. No scent, no taste. swirled in a wind
virtually undetectable. It has a sound, though,
strangely enough. A faint thing. As a single
pinch is released, falling free into the tides
of fate, one might hear a sound like a distant,
primal scream, carried far by a muffling wind.
A single pinch to start off machinations years
in the making, released into the waiting feedback
of a prince's favored riding horse. perfect little
accident. A single pinch set in the palm and
blown gently into the faces of blood -letter
protesters. A sudden rush towards the target
of this display, a prince of coin attempting
to ease the crowd with words wiser than his young
age. His screams carried no such platitudes as
they tore him apart. A single pinch blown again
into the faces of approaching guards early in
the morning as they led their charge from the
gemstone docking bay and towards the great city
of Zinda. The look of surprise on Massimo Ane's
face as their own men turned their weapons around
and charged. A pinch rubbed into a flank of lamb
tossed into the waiting maw of the giant caiman
Tikalosh. A failure, that, but a valiant attempt
at removing the young Jean Franklin and his retinue.
A pinch dropped and swirled into a bodily of
jelly classique noir, the favored drink of one
mellow aura. And not well liked by most, a simple
note unsigned was enough to send the true murder
weapon straight to the young man's door and inside.
And finally, the pinched ended all a bit more
than a pinch if we're being precise. tossed into
a diva's bag of a similar colored powder, set
to open and fall into a pretty little mist during
her performance. A dramatic final step, a perfect
crescendo to the artist's design. In one other
little pinch, having found its way burning in
the mind of the captain of the Silent Verse and
his officer. But this one's placement I will
keep my little secret for now. Years of planning.
Of a waning of sheer malice. And finally it ends
in bloody combat. In a single little pinch. So
how you guys doing? You're sick, David. You're
sick! Yeah! Yeah! I'm having fun. I'm having
fun. I love, I love... This is why I love murder
mysteries. This is why I love this shit so much,
right? Because, like, you're over here. And it's
not just the idea that, like, hey, there's a
mystery. There's clues to uncover. There's this...
thrill to me in this knowledge that like you're
hanging out you have all these people in this
room and you know that one of these people is
so much cleverer than they let on so much more
malign than they let on and they wish you harm
and you don't know who and isn't it terrifying
right yeah and apparently cleverer than us too
like oh i'm so stoked and here we are the culmination
of a plot that you've wandered into A combat
for the ages. And it's going, well, in some ways
it's going quite well. And in some ways it's
going quite badly. I'm trying to decide if the
whole talking about a pinch in the soup like
a chef is like a hint to Fyodor. But I'm like,
I just, I can't figure you out anymore. I cannot
be read. I cannot be read. I'm curious. You guys
have any theories out there? Anything you want
to share yet? Or do you want to just get back
to this fight? I really, truly don't have any
theories. Yeah. I'm perfectly stumped. How wonderful.
Wonderful. But David. What? We can't get back
to the fight just yet. What? We have something
else to read. Okay. All right. We got mail. This
mail has been long awaited. This is from our
friend Meg, Hungry Familiar. She recently did
another zine. Oh, hell yeah. And we got some.
And she sent a bunch of stuff. Oh, my gosh. That
is a bunch of stuff. Yeah. So she's got the package
of the zines here and says, read me first. But
then she has stuff for each of us. Okay. All
right. All right. Dear Fantasy Pants, I included
some extra postcards for your followers. Ooh.
There is also an Easter egg in the zine for you.
If you can't find it, check page eight. Much
love from your number three fan, Meg. David knows
what this is. Oh, really? I do know what this
is. Okay. All right. Let me crack it open here.
Whoa. Wow. Look at that art. Wow. Check this
out. Whoa. And do remember, this area, the book
den, the shop that the zine is about, is actually
in our setting. It is in the Radiant Citadel.
It is right down the street from the Ugly Coyote.
It is where Five Road's been getting all of his
books. And very hopefully soon, we'll wander
there ourselves. We have a wizard in the party.
I'm putting one up on the shelf. Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, and this art is Pentagram is the name of
the... the dragon here, the whatever by Sabine
Wilder, who I'm is either Meg's sister or Meg's
good friend. I'm pretty sure it's her sister.
I'm like 95 % sure it's Meg's sister. It is gorgeous.
I'll, I'll put her info up as well. We follow
her on Instagram. She's a really talented artist
as well. Oh, and then there's more. There's the
herb gatherings cover. And then. the bookworm
zine itself and she yeah she put a bunch of them
in here this is incredible yeah that is so cool
i'm doing some reading tonight yeah exactly i've
seen earlier renditions of it and uh it's so
cool to see the final thing oh yeah yep nice
i know we've been waiting for this one for a
long time meg and i have been watching the tracking
coming from canada to us and it was just it was
so hard to watch and wait page eight Oh, page
eight. Right. Oh, my goodness. I'm like so excited.
Are we going to try to find the Easter egg or
are we going straight to page eight? Well, you
know what's on page eight. Oh, I see. I see.
You found it? I mean, I think so. Stephen J.
Davis. You found it. J. Davids. Oh, I get it.
I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why did you get it?
You're like, I get it. Well, no, no, no. I said
Davis instead of Davids. Yes. Yes. That's excellent.
There is an NPC in this book. I believe it's
actually an author who can sort of follow you
around on adventures as like sort of following
the war named Stephen J. Davids. Wow. We're in
Megzine. We're in the zine. That's incredible.
That's so cool. And the maps are great. Our like
blended homunculus is in the zine. So if anyone's
over there shipping all three of us, you now
know our ship name is Stephen J. Davids. Fuck
yeah. I'm really excited to dig through this
deeper, but I'm also excited to hand out to David.
Oh, whoa. What? To Jeremy. Whoa. And to Steven.
Steven's in this? I'm going to read, man. To
David, I'm sorry your cats pee on everything.
I know your pain. Thank you for all the work
that goes into building such an amazing world
that engulfs us every week. Meg. Oh, that's sweet.
Oh, and to Gabby. Your work does not go unnoticed.
Thank you for your huge heart and all you do,
especially for the senior kidizens. That's fucking
good. Whoa, yeah. That's good. Damn. She's going
to be pissed she didn't think of that originally.
Gabby, I mean, she's going to be like, I didn't
think of that. But she's going to love that.
Oh, thank you so much. Oh, my gosh. It is the
I have 10 cats and they pee on everything picture.
It's so amazing. It's literally all of our 10
cats. Well, the prior batch when Wade was around.
And a picture of Wade. Oh, it's so amazing. Meg
is so sweet. So sweet. It hurts so much. Thank
you so much. Wow. Oh, my goodness. Oh, that's
amazing. Here, turn them around. I want to see.
Oh, take a look. Take a look. Oh. That is so
cool. Isn't that cool? Oh, wow. Isn't that cool?
Oh. The 10 cats one. That should be a sticker.
Ooh. Ooh. I got like a bonus sketch in the back.
Nice. Look at that. Ooh. Hell yeah. That's great.
That's awesome. All right. Okay. Who's next?
Who's next? Steven's next. Mine says, to Steven,
thank you for your continued support, kindness,
and friendship. Well, Meg. Thank you for your
continued support, kindness, and friendship.
Oh, man. Let's see. Look at that. Whoa. I...
Whoa. It is the Gathering Herbs cover. Like,
the one. That is so cool. Wow. Whoa, whoa. This
is wild. Wow. I love it. You are the herb gatherer
here. Like it's so, it's so, it's so like tailor
-made perfect. Cause if this book existed, you
would own it. Oh yeah. In a heartbeat. You have
books like it. Yes. And, and now I have this,
this is incredible. Wow. It's matted already.
Now I just need to find a frame. Ooh. Yeah. Wow.
Oh, this is wow. Meg. Thank you. This is really,
really cool. All right, Jeremy, you got to go.
All right. I'm going to cry or something. Oh
my gosh. All right, mine says, to Jeremy, I'm
sorry I didn't have something more personal for
you, but please know that you are valued and
appreciated for all you do. P .S. This is one
of the very few watercolors I have done. Interesting.
Whoa. Oh, that is so cool. I'm not showing you
guys. What? What? You can't. I'll fight you.
I disallow it. Dude. Shirts are off. Whoa. Dude.
It's so cute. Yeah, it is. Oh, it's so cute.
Let me see that. It's a little like curled up
dragon. Oh, that is awesome. And I love the color
of the feathers. Yeah. It's so unique. Oh, that's
awesome. I'm keeping it. I'm keeping it. No,
fuck you. He's going to keep Danny company. I'm
going to put him on the shelf in the living room.
Oh, hell yeah. Oh, God. Thank you, Meg. Wow.
Thank you so much. Yeah, look at all the, we've
got the. one from her last zine as well on this
just yeah all sorts of cool stuff oh my god we
need more shelves though yeah we do we need like
eight more shelves man as i mean i guess god
i want to like sit down and read this but i think
we kind of need to like i need to move it because
i'm gonna crack a beer and i won't forgive myself
i have duck in the oven I got to get back. Oh,
congratulations. In like an hour to get that
out so it doesn't burn. So I will absolutely
read this. In the interest of time. In the interest
of time. Wow. Got to get that duck. Oh, speaking
of ducks in the oven, you three, huh? Two. You
two. We're cooked. Very tired. You're cooked.
Your goose and your duck is cooked. I'll only
let you cook my goose, David. Oh, my goodness.
Is this going to be a silly one? It feels like
a silly one. It's like I already have, like,
second episode energy for the first episode and
only episode, thankfully, for this evening. Siren,
escape. That is kind of hot. I'm into it. We're
last. We left off. We are in the third round
of this sudden combat. The last thing that happened
is we see Diva Luma surrounded by two duergar,
two of the silent verse officers, and Margus
Ruba, who puts up this valiant effort, charging
the Diva, swinging, holding out strong. They
stand firm until one last swipe. A poisoned heel
blade. What is a king of coin to a luminary,
to a battle dancer, to a legend? Marcus's eyes
roll back in their head as they begin to fall
backwards, unconscious and dying. And you asked
me. And you said, hey, how about that orcish
ferocity? Because downstairs, Zeni Aruba is alive
still. And that was me. given the PC mechanics
to this NPC. And I'm willing to do the same here
for Margus, but unfortunately, Margus is a full
orc. And according to Bolo's Guide to Monsters,
which has the PC attributes for a full orc, they
actually do not have the orcish ferocity ability.
It seems to only belong to the hybrid half orcs.
Them's the breaks, guys. Margus goes down. And
I can't fight that. I'll fight you. Okay, well,
or I'll fight Volo. I don't care. Following that.
Bring the fight to Volo. Following that, the
duergar both take this flash of this sort of,
again, that sort of pyrotechnic display as Diva
Luma swipes around, her hand blasting out with
this sort of powder that shocks them. They kind
of go, you know, sort of stumbling backwards.
They're looking very hurt. And Diva Luma, again,
seems to vanish. Downstairs, Jean Franklin has
come up with a plan, a brilliant plan to take
some heat off of him. To try to protect the young
Xenia and Ledoux. He uses the illusion set in
this ring by Mesmerize. Former enemy turned ally.
To create a visage of the pig man. The pig man
just standing in the cell. Huge and towering.
Kind of overlapping Jaune's own form. And Harlan
taking the bait. basically also tries to grow
huge. He activates some inner ability, this innate
sort of characteristic that all duergar have,
to be able to grow. And even though this space
is small, it barely allows for it, he grows huge,
his stamping feet coming down right beside Xenia,
who goes frozen stiff, quiet. not wanting to
provoke this terrifying monstrosity. Just between
his legs, the spear, the banner of the Golden
Bay, it's like just slightly kind of underneath
Harlan's foot, but in reach for Jaune to be able
to go out, grab the banner, potentially pull
the spear towards him. Now, on my turn, I shove
the other Dwargar, I believe his name was Grumby?
I think Grumby was the name I gave him, out of
the way. So Harlan can create the space to grow,
to challenge the big man. In doing this, I used
one of my multi -attack actions and my bonus
action, but I still have one more attack and
my ability to call upon my allies, order them
to use their reaction to attack. So I'm going
to do those now and resolve this turn. Here's
how this works. You have an illusion. On my turn,
I could use an action to make a perception check
to... attempt to see through this illusion, which
would be a very good use of my one button, I
would think, if I want to use that button, as
I said, to kill the young tortle lord. But I
can't justify that in this rage, under this influence,
Harlan would make that check. So he's not going
to. He's going to swing madly at the pig man.
But here's the catch. The pig man takes up what
you'd assume to be four squares of space before
Harlan. When he attacks, I'm going to roll a
d4. On a 4, it's going to hit Jaune, and I'm
going to attempt to break Jaune's AC. That's
the breaks for that. That's how it's going to
work. Okay. It's still a great position for Jaune
to be in because Harlan's not attacking him directly.
He's just swinging with this massive, this great
force, just pounding into this sort of cell right
between the bars, trying to plunge this weapon
into the pig man. And from his perspective, the
pig man is just dodging and parrying and blocking
because he can't tell that it's fake. So here
we go. Quick question, David. What round are
we on? This is round three. Okay. I have just
made my roll. It's a three, not a D4. He comes
down in the square beside Jean, like on the floor.
Cracked as this weapon kind of crushes into right
beside him. I think metal sort of bars bend and
scream as Harlan's blade comes through. Ah, big
man! I'll kill ya! And he screams out to his
allies, well, kill him! Kill him! The other Dwargar's
going to make an attack, but because he was shoved
to the side, there is a sort of wall blocking
that diagonal. He's trying to make an attack
with his war pick around cover. It's going to
be, I'm going to give him disadvantage on this.
Awesome. Nice. That's a miss. He goes to attack,
does not land with his reaction, and that is
Harlan. I am making a roll for Marcus Ruba. Duergar.
They don't see Diva Luma, but they can assume
that the Diva is right where she just vanished.
They're going to attack the space before them.
They're going to attack with disadvantage because
of invisibility. Would have been a crit, but
still a hit on the first one. Ooh. Would have
been a crit. Get out. Wow. Come on. A miss still
in the second one. Yeah. Almost two crits. That
invisibility came in clutch. Yeah, for real.
But still one hit. I can see what's happening
with this too. We are not taking this fight seriously
right now. He's just dancing. Max damage on the
hit. That's a good song. Actually, 10 damage
on Nevoluma. Oh, nice. This is where I go like,
it's your job to protect. I don't care. what
you are! I'm taking you out! He's just like barely
standing, but still swipes out into visibility,
and you see like blood splashes onto the sort
of stage behind as this duergar actually managed
to hit the other ghost's swing in the sort of
invisible sort of shape of Diva Luma, wheeze
beneath it. But they are trying their best, barely
up, but trying their best to hold back the fury
of this diva. If they go down, she is on you,
Jules. Didn't you say that all Dwargar have the
innate ability to grow humongous? And they grow
humongous. That's a bonus action. Bonus action,
big boy. They already used that today. What are
you talking about? Holy shit, you're right. So
they just like, they yelled this to their toilet
stand and they just kind of... They grow much
larger than their size. Their HP remains the
same, but they get a little more damage on their
attacks should they land. Maybe they'll crit
again. Who knows? Maybe. All right, all right,
Steven. I think you're so cool with your ideas.
Downstairs, now that my buddy's large here, I'm
going to, there's a mechanic I can use. I didn't
use it before because I didn't want to. It feels
goofy when people are the same size, but you
can technically occupy someone's space, do an
attack, and then step back from that space. So
this guy's going to kind of move down, kind of
like, you know, in between the legs real quick
of his big sort of stamping captain. Didn't he
just go? Oh, it was the... Yeah, yeah. Let's
do this thing. Come on, Jean. That is a hit on
Jean with a 20, right? Yep, 20 hits. Okay. It's
very hard for me to hit Jean with this guy, but
this is big. This is very big. Jaune takes five
points of damage. And I had a DC 10 constitution
saving throw because Jaune needs to maintain
concentration on the pig man. He's using, he's
like focusing through the ring to like create
this thing. And I love this because Jaune needed
a hero. He needed to be a hero in this moment.
He called upon one of the greatest heroes. He
knows that is a good time to use a button. Okay.
Advantage on this roll. Got to hit a 10. Or pig
man goes bye -bye and so does Jean, quite likely.
If the saving throw is not listed, it's just
a zero, right? Or is it an actual bonus? No,
it'll be his constitution. Okay. Plus three is
really good. Yeah. Oh, wait. The first one was
a 10, so. And then it was a 12. Okay. Just barely.
He makes it. He eats. He kind of takes that hit.
And he's doing it. First, I can make the pig
go, uh -oh. Flickers him. Hey, hey. Still here.
Come on. And I'm like, ah! Fighting. Okay. Good
shit. Sean Franklin's turn. He holds strong.
He keeps it up. The spear is down below. You
may take the spear. Okay. What's it going to
cost me to take the spear? It's within range.
I think you can just grab it. It's an object
interaction to reach out and grab it. You know
what? I did say the spear's under the foot. I
need a strength check. I need an athletics check.
Why did I ask? Because you're going to rip the
banner. You have to rip the banner to get to
the spear. He pulls the banner to get the spear
kind of into the range. He reaches up, snatches
it, and he just yanks up, tear the banner. 13.
That'll do it. I was looking for 10. Okay, sweet.
It's tearing of cloth as the banner is torn.
Jaune, the bearer of this banner, has just ripped
it. But perhaps the true Golden Bay, the true
thing to protect, stands behind him. And so he
wields a spear. What are you going to do, Blanche?
Sorry, Steven. So you said that the smaller duergar,
you said he stepped in, attacked, and then stepped
out, right? Yes. He cannot occupy the space at
the end of his turn. He can only use half movement
to go into his ally space. So as much as I want
to attack him, he's behind cover. I guess he's
just going to attack Harlan. Okay. 16. 16 hits.
I mean, it's max damage, but it's just a D6 plus
two, so eight. It's something. Yeah, that's something.
Eight is not nothing. Good sort of stab for Han,
especially when he sees the pig go, punch ya!
And punches, just sticks him with two fingers.
It's just so funny. Jon is literally fighting
in the shadow of this hero he admires. His moves
are the pig man's moves. Something I want to...
Remind myself of real fast, Blanche has a D8,
right? Yep. Oh, yes, yes, yes. For Bardic Inspiration.
That's pretty good. That's going to be Ledoux
and DiPiero. DiPiero is still hiding behind Blanche,
holding strong. Come on, come on. And then downstairs,
just, John, are you okay? John, shut up. Ledoux,
just stand firm. I'll protect you. Jules, that's
you. Okay. I didn't want to do this, but I have
a strong feeling that if I'm there, I'm going
to die. Don't die. So I'm going to cast Invisibility.
Nice. Oh! And go Invisible. Okay. And then I'm
going to cast Bardic Inspiration as bonus action
onto Chester. So we have two Invisible figures
now in this room. I love it. It's a good move.
It's a good move. And that is all I got. Chester's
kind of empowered by this light. The golden moat
surrounds him. He nods to the space where you
were, where he knows you still are, where he
can feel your presence. Here, Chester. Oh, yeah.
I'll take it. I'll take your bardic die. Hell
yes, Blanche. Oh, how do you want to handle my
invisibility? Because I moved. I trust you. Okay.
I'll just move you off the map. I think it's
fun that way when you can just be like, I surprised
you, you know? Okay, cool. I think, you know,
passive perception is not really going to be
a thing for D .Va Luma right now in this state.
So not being able to see you, I think you can
fully be out of sight. So that's fun. Cool. It's
very fun. The Find Familiar spell says that as
an action, you can see through your familiar's
eyes and hear what it hears. Oh, until the start
of your next turn. Okay. So the start of Blanche's
turn, she's back. For free. Oh, shit. I was,
like, thinking, what's it going to cost me to
go back? Nice. Okay, excellent. So Blanche unwargs
whatever, comes back into her body here, surveys
the situation. I can't see. Where did Diva Luma
go? Oh, yeah, that's right. You just come back
to see two giant duergar, Margus Ruba, just lying,
defeated. No jewels, no Divaluma. Chester beside
you, DiPiro behind you. What is going on? Blanche
is going to intuit that some invisibility has
happened here. She's going to cast See Invisibility.
Oh my gosh. That's really cool. Has Divaluma
moved? Divaluma has not moved. You see Divaluma
is in the same spot and you have the ability
without disadvantage to make a move against.
And to use fights that rely on sight or spells
rely on sight. That is, that's a good move. Blanche
is going to move up into Diva Luma's space. And
that's the end of her turn. Just this. Kind of
like primal eyes look towards you. Surprised.
So that's the fourth round of Blade Song, I think.
Because I think she did that at the get -go.
Yeah. We'll say it's the, we'll say it. I mean,
it's the third round of the combat. It's the
third round of Blade Song. Okay. I think. Yeah.
Okay. And I said Xenia's just lying. It'd be
her turn now. She's just staying very, very quiet,
still shackled in place, not wanting to be noticed
by the rampaging giant duergar captain. That
brings me to Diva Luma. This is a tough spot.
No, it's not. I don't want to do it. I'm going
to attack these duergar. They're big. I don't
like that. Bigger targets equals easier targets
to, I don't know, see, go for. Ooh, one hits
and one just barely hits. Yikes. Yeah, these
duerga are going to get messed up. Pretty amazing.
So the one that... Basically, the one that missed
last time, kind of following that miss, she just
weaves into an attack, swipes him. As he's sort
of growing big, it hits. He drops down, falling
unconscious. And the one that was standing firm
that just yelled, that managed to get hit in,
she turns and whips into him. Blade sticks deep
into the edge of his chest, missing any vital
organs, but still the black veins pulse up where
the poison sticks in. And he looks like he's
about to fall, and he's buckling. But he stands
at one HP. And he's holding now. You have one
duergar that still stands. And this is the one,
in fact, that is standing between Chester and
her. Still kind of blocking DiPiero. Just a valiant
officer to the last. And that is going to be
Diva Luma's turn. Chester, you're up. You're
up. I'm up. It's me. I can't do Chester today.
It's too high. My voice is gone. Now, how does
Chester sound? Damn it. Give me some water. Hang
on. Oh, shit. So can Chester kind of see where
she is? Yes, she's back now. Okay. She reappears
on her turn. Okay. Yeah. All right. So Chester's
going to Chester. Stage effects wear off. He's
going to stay where he's at. Chester leans in.
I will say you need to move slightly over to
not get comfortable. Which is fine, yeah. Okay.
Yep, that is absolutely fine. The other one is
fallen, so we can kind of shoot over it, sort
of fall into our body. Maybe it shrinks back
when it falls. That's an 18. 18 will hit. Ooh,
baby. Guys are getting some damage in on the
D .Va. And that's going to be eight. Okay. All
right. I'm going to legendary action. Stab. Oh,
God. Just hits. Just hits. I'm not going to bother
doing damage because... One HP. She sort of takes
an arrow, spins around, slashes out, hits this
other duergar, and he, too, finally, eyes roll
back. Fuck. He begins to fall, shrinking down
as he does. Downstairs, that's Harlan. So let's
do the thing. I can bolt down now? Bolt down.
I used my legendary attack to do that, so it's
still pretty big. It's pretty big. I'll tell
you that takes two of my three actions to make
that attack. So I can't make it again until next
turn. Great. D4. Another three. Once again, smash
right down into the spot beside Jean. Bits of
the floor, just cement, just showering him as
this Harlan just still, I'm going to take you
out, big man. Come on, try. All right. I do not
hit. Call to attack. Other guy is going to make
that disadvantage attack on Jaune. And miss.
Okay. Nice. Jaune is holding out. This is big.
I'm making a roll for Marcus Ruba. Okay. I'm
making a roll for both the Duergar. Okay. And
now the one down below is going to step into
place and make an attack on Jaune and step back.
That is going to be another miss. Oh, I cannot
get that turtle. I cannot get that turtle. You
just got to hold out, Jaune. Ding, ding, just
blocking it. Yeah, he's got to hold out. He's
on his own now. But maybe that what you gave
him was enough. Let's find out. It's Jaune's
turn. Okay, Jaune's going to just repeat, rinse
and repeat. He's going to go for a spear attack
on Harlan. Again, you bring your concentration.
It's over. That's 18 to hit. That will hit. Oh,
my gosh. Just four damage, though. Chipping away,
though. You're getting him down. This is big.
This is big. Oh, my gosh. We just got to end
this upstairs as fast as possible. Yeah. You've
got to end this. Speaking of upstairs, D. Bloom
is going to use her other, her last point of
legendary actions. God. As the duergar falls,
her eyes catch DePiero. No. Fuck. And she leans
out and she's going to run. Basically just like
this weird sort of leaping sort of spin out of
your way. I'm going to use what's called cunning.
I'm going to move out of the space without taking
AOOs. Fuck. I mean, I guess that means I can
save my reaction for shield. And she's going
to move. right up in front of DiPiero, who trips
over a chair, is cowering in the back. Why is
he the biggest enemy? Maybe she just saw him.
It's hard to say. Maybe she doesn't like the
royals. She went for Azra, and Azra was like,
you know, definitely had those reasons for that.
Azra was definitely on her case all night. Yeah,
Azra was an asshole. Maybe she's just racist.
Well, you're also a turtle, so no. Right. That's
going to be Jules. Does DePiero want to throw
a punch? I mean, you tell me. Is DePiero the
kind of guy who would throw a punch? You know
what? Fuck it. I'll throw a punch. I'll throw
a punch. All right. He's going to throw a punch.
He actually hits. Nice. One damage. He's a royal.
Not a lot, but he's the way one will look. Right
across the cheek. I can fight, too. Just standing
around. All right. That's going to be Jules.
Okay. Do we want to change the order of which
we were going to do things? I mean, I'm leaving
that up to you. I'm leaving that up to Jules.
It's either Mix Marga is dead, like dead dead,
or we continue fighting. I know what Blanche
is going to do, but I can't tell Jules what to
do. Fuck. I think Jules is going to stick to
the plan. All right. Oh, God. That's assuming
that David didn't roll a fail and a natural one
on the two death saves. Yes. It also makes my
invisibility completely useless and it was a
waste of a slot. Right. Because I will become
visible. What do we think we have to gain? I
mean, like, maybe we get some greater reward.
We get another combatant back in the fray. Well,
you're just fucking heroes. Heroes, too, yeah.
Because at this point, it feels like it's one
or the other. Well, but now, right, now it's
DePiero. Yeah. I wonder what Jules is going to
do. Fuck off. I wonder what Jules is going to
do. You can trust that Margus can hold through.
I know. I could stabilize. It's basically 50
-50. It kind of sounds like he's leading you.
I know. I don't know, leading anybody. Hang on,
I need a second. Okay. Okay. I know what Jules
is going to do. Jules will move. And he is moving
next to Margus. Okay. It's Margus, right? Not
Megas? Margus. Margus. Margus. And he is casting
Cure Wounds. Okay. Okay. I hate that look that
you just gave me, David. Okay, no. You reach
down to Margus, who, I will tell you right now,
has rolled a save and a fail. So the next roll
could have been death. Okay. You reach down,
and this healing light floods from your hand
into them. That's max. Nice. What's max? 12.
Oh, my goodness. That's pretty good. It's a D8
plus four. And that was only, that was first
level. Okay. Full orcs eyes snap open. Marcus.
And as a bonus action, he's casting Bardic Inspiration
onto them. Oh, damn. Okay. Golden Moe surrounds
them, lights them up. Marcus's eyes catch yours.
You're right. I really can trust you, Jules.
Wow. I got you. Let's fight together. Let's finish
this. A king and the midnight prince. Goddamn
you. Hell yeah. That is awesome. Okay. All right.
Let me get that big old red X off our buddy.
Get it out of there. Off our buddy. That's pretty
awesome. That's pretty awesome. That's pretty
grand. Okay. Blanche is really not happy. She's
going to cast, as a bonus action, Shadow Blade
at third level. Okay. All right. Then she's going
to make her way up behind Devaluma, flanking
with De Piero. De Piero's fighting on. She's
sort of dodging that. She gets clocked by the
hit and sort of stumbles backwards. You get plus
two as she's surprised by the sudden ferocity
that the Turtle King puts out. Yep. And do I
have to decide? I forget. Do I have to decide
to use my Bardic before or after the roll? You
can do it after the roll, but before you know
the result. No need. It's a 19. Oh, damn. Oh,
yeah. So with Shadow Blade at third level, that's
3d8 psychic damage. That's a lot of damage. Okay.
First one is max. Dude, second roll is max. That's
16. Oh, yeah. What else? Dude, I'm not... Holy
shit. I'm not joking. You're kidding me. I'm
not joking. I just rolled three eights in a row.
You are furious. Your lord is in danger. Every
guardian, sort of like fire of your spirit, is
activating, and you come charging over. What's
it look like when you strike down with this thing?
That was almost perfect. A 19 on the die. Yeah.
And then three eights on the D8. Fuck. If you
rolled a 20, it would have been six eights, and
I know that, and you know that. That's amazing.
That is a solid. This blade of shadow, wreathing
shadow, rips into D .Va through her chest. I
know that it's just one attack, but flavor -wise,
I love the classic samurai movie moment, or really
cartoon anime moment, where it's like the three
slashes, like slash, slash, slash. Dude, hell
yeah. That happens right behind. She covers her
eyes, tilts her head back. This is burning in
her mind. As she does, she leans back. Tepiro
catches your eyes and just nods like, Very well,
Master of Defense. I never thought we'd be fighting
side by side. I'll be the target now, my lord.
Just stay alive. Yes, sir. He smiles. Wow. I
just got goosebumps. Look at this. I can't believe
this night. Amazing. I can't believe this night.
Amazing. Okay, that was huge. 24 damage? Dude.
Wow. Holy hell. Okay. You know who that is. That's
DiPiero. Spurred on by that. He's got a punch
again. Yeah, punch him. With flanking. And that's
a hit. Oh, my God. So that's just one more damage.
Fucking love it. Another jab. Oh, that's so cool.
You know what this is? What? This is the holy
water from last time. It's activated now. It
just takes a week. It just takes a week to settle
in. Amazing. Okay. Okay. I'm going to follow
up his turn. No, wait. No, I don't have a legendary.
I use them all. Okay. This is D .Va Luma's turn.
Actually, note, before we continue further, I
failed to mention on Mike that since Jules cast
a spell, he is now visible. Gotcha. I also have
a note. Was Diva Luma invisible while De Piero
was punching her? No, I never used the ability
to do that this round. There's a legendary action
I can use that lets me basically do damage with
a power typing effect and then go invisible until
my turn. So I pretty much just wasted a second
level spell slot by casting Sea Invisibility.
But I'll have it for the next hour. Maybe it'll
be useful. You closed in and forced me to move
out. It actually wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. It
was really cool. You saw me move across the floor.
I watched that. I watched that ass. Good to see
Jules saunter. Jules is like walking like nobody
can see me. I know you're watching. You know,
the walk that you do when you're at home alone.
You just get out of the shower. You know that
nobody's there. Jules, what are you doing? I
threw a towel up on my head. Screw, I'm attacking
Blanche twice. Bring it. I still got my reaction
because you wouldn't let me do an A -O -O. You
should have done the A -O -O. Let's see. An 18
and a 20. to hit. No sirree. It's done a hit?
What's it look like? No way. Spins around with
his bladed heels and her kick comes flying up
towards you and you're just using your sword?
Yeah, it's just a practiced sword block. I mean,
this is elementary. Two attack. Oh my gosh. Nastiness.
I hate it. Chester, you're up. Chester's gonna
Chester. Chester's gonna Chester. As always.
Alright. I wish I could do his voice right now.
I don't know why I can't. I'm going through puberty.
I was going to say, I was like, wow, finally.
It's finally happening. Jules, look at me. He
just braced himself and stands back at his table,
lowers the bow. And again, there's this like,
I think last time he was missing the whole fight
because he was like, he didn't want to do it.
He still feels so conflicted. Like this is a
person under some kind of control and he doesn't
want to kill them when they don't deserve it.
It burned him before. It might burn him now.
But he saw. Margus Ruba, drop. Sheldon Duergar,
drop. Chester buckles down because he knows that
he has to step up. That's a 16. That'll hit.
Wowee. For five. Five, okay. Pretty good. Yeah,
okay. I'm just imagining escape. Uh, Diva Luma,
once again, uh, basically just, uh, after getting
hit by you, missing you twice, realize this is
a bad situation that she's in, and that's a problem
part of her mind, realize that she needs to get
out, and so once again, hand the ogre into the
sleeve, um, this is, this power tank display,
this dazzling light blast out at, let me go check
the range here, ooh, 10 foot cube within 5 feet
means that exactly none of you. I can only get
one of you with this. I cannot get DiPiero and
Blanche. I wanted to. I can't. Just me, Blanche.
Blanche. First things first, you're going to
take only nine points of psychic damage. Shadow
Blade is concentration. Okay. Roll me a constitution
saving throw. Hold on. Let me take the damage
first. No. So in Bladesong, I get a plus four
to any con save, and I have my Bardic Inspiration.
That's true. Nice. That's true. So let's see.
You should use all your buttons about it. No,
I don't need a button. I've got a plus five con
for saving throws. My con is plus five. Then
I've got the plus four. So that's already a plus
nine to save in Bladesong, and then I've got
my D8 if I need it. Oh, wow. I'm going to need
it. With your motive potential on the saving
throw, the creature using Bardic Inspiration
gains temporary hit points equal to the number
roll on the Bardic Inspiration die, plus four.
Okay, so it was just a three on the die, so that's
12. I'm definitely using my Bardic die. It's
a two. It's 14. In this case, it would be a DC
10. Oh, okay. I thought it was going to be like
a 15 or something. You can keep... Did you already
beat it with your Bardic? Yeah, but I rolled
before. Because once I see the roll, then I can
decide to roll. You would have known already
it was a DC 10, because it's half of the damage
you take or 10 at minimum. So you can keep the
Bardic. Okay. I mean, that sounds fair. It's
a common thing. You know. Yeah, you're good.
Yeah, so you hold out. You two take that damage,
and the Beluma vanishes again. But Blanche has
the invisibility for an hour. Oh, my. So you
just, you know, you're still right there. Nice.
Everyone else doesn't see her, but you're locking
eyes with the Diva that no one else can see.
DePiro kind of looking around. Incredible. Incredible.
Blanche. All right. I realized last time I showed
rolled two D4s because I have two attacks with
Harlan. And the first round I didn't do it because
I only had my one attack left. Last round I had
two attacks. Didn't use them both. That's fine.
This time around I'm rolling two D4s to see if
I hit Jean. A two and a two. Oh, I can't get
this turtle. This time over his head. Wing, wing.
Two attacks. Just barely grazing the top of Jean's
head as this war pick, or no, this sword is slicing
through the bars, trying to stab at this pig
man that doesn't seem to go down. Amazing. I'm
going to call to attack. They're going to try
to attack with disadvantage. He's going to miss.
I can't get the turtle. All right, that's great.
This is exactly what I needed to happen. I just
need Sean to stay alive. We, I'm sorry, we need
Sean to stay alive until we can handle this upstairs
and get down to him. Yep. Margus stands up. It's
half movement to just get him back from prone.
Looks to you. How can I help? I'll give you a
choice. Do you want Margus back in the fray immediately?
They feel indebted to you for saving their life,
and they want to repay that however they can
right now. Fight with us. But don't get yourself
killed. This big, jolly smile. All right. Let's
go. I'm going to charge down. I'm going to run.
Use my remaining movement just to get right next
to Blanche there. Diva Luma's invisible. Marcus
knows where she was. Okay, well, Blanche. But
it's disadvantage to hit that spot. Yeah, Blanche
is a free action. Can you even explain? Okay.
She's right here, between me and DiPiero. All
right. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you're pointing
it out. They can see where your eyes are locked.
Yep, they're going to swing. That's actually
a hit. Nice. Did you roll disadvantage? I didn't.
Thank you. Keep me honest. Actually, multi -attack
as well. That's actually no shit two hits. 15,
15, 20, 16 on the die. Margus is hot right now.
Using all the good rolls with an ally. Yeah,
they clock D .Va hard twice. Max damage on the
first. That's wild. Okay, so that is 10 points
of damage total. D .Va actually looks... Pretty
bad. As this. Two. Swipes. Two. Come to your
senses. Yeah. And even. Howls in pain. Just goes
in the gut. Almost goes down. That is. Yeah.
Like seriously. Even though with this advantage.
Like. You can see that Marcus is hitting. Marcus
doesn't even know what they're swinging at. Right.
Just clocking into something. It's so. Wildly
cool. Okay. Alright. Duergar downstairs is going
to go hit Jaune and break that concentration.
He better, he better. No way. I still got a couple
buttons. That actually does hit. Oh, boy. That
does hit. Yeah, I really have to use another
button. I can't lose this. I can't lose Jaune.
Oh, this goes down, and I can go all out with
Harlot. That is max damage on this attack from
this Duergar, which is going to be 12 points
of damage on the turtle. A nasty one just swipes
in. Takes a solid hit, trying so hard to focus
on the pig man, keeping on this illusion. He
lets his shield up for just a second, kind of
forgetting the other smaller threat in the room.
And as it hits, the illusion is a flicker, just
a little bit Jaune, not used to casting magic,
not used to holding spells like his master can.
Okay, first one was a natural one. So let's see
what the second one. Use that button. I already
gave it to you. Okay. Yeah, you did. Oh my gosh.
This is big. 13. Yeah, it's good. It'll hold.
It's DC 10 still. Didn't go above 20 on damage.
So John, for a second, I think his foot slips
and the pigman vanishes fully. And then he regains
his footing, stands tall. I can go invisible
now. Yeah, fuck you. Middle fingers, harlot.
Holy shit. Amazing. Wow. Oh, the damage I could
be doing to Jaune. Oh, Jaune would be dead. He
would be dead by now. Harlan, you're seeing the
blows hitting the bars and the ground here from
his sword, and they are hefty blows in this form.
But Jaune stands firm. It's his turn. Okay. Holy
crap. Jaune's Lay on Hands pull is full, right?
I don't see his Lay on Hands pull here. It is
full, yes. Full at 25? At level 5, it would be
25. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah, let's... I'm going to
save it. I'm going to save it for now. He's just
going to do another attack. Okay. I've got that
in the bag. Watch this be my folly. It's an 18
on the die, plus five. I'm guessing that hits.
That will hit. For Harlan, again. Harlan, yeah.
I'm sticking with that strategy. And that's five
points of damage. Jaune stabs. The pig man punches.
Harlan kind of stumbles back. Hell yes. Picking
away. That's all we can ask for right now. Wait,
how do I roll? Wait, no. I think I missed a PR
up last time. I think I gave him an attack after
your turn, but I've been before. Almost like
we should have an initiative tracker or something.
I do have one. I think I just didn't forget to
click it. Anyway, whatever. Hey, everyone. It's
his turn now. He's going to punch again. He actually
does hit. No, we don't. Invisible. He legitimately
still hits. I cannot roll under 15 with these
NPCs right now. Yeah, the NPCs are going to win
this fight for us. Where is my D .Va Luba? Correct.
Just one more point of damage. D .Va Luba is
surrounded by people just punching her. Two kings
of coin punching together. It's beautiful. Jules,
that's you. All right. D .Va looks bad. D .Va
looks quite bad. You don't know that, Jules.
Blanche, you do. Jules is going to move up just
beside. or just behind Blanche, and fuck it.
He's going to cast Vicious Mockery, which is
a cantrip. Oh, okay. All right. And I roll against
that? Yeah, it's going to be a wisdom save. Okay.
So now that would definitely be a fail, but I'm
going to burn my last Legendary Resistance. What
do you do? How do you do this? Son of a bitch.
It's all right. Blanche is going to finish her
off. What do you say? What's your Vicious Mockery?
Take this, you stupid bitch. You can't swear
on the network. Shut the fuck up, Blanche. She
just stands firm, teeth gritted, veins bulging,
resists the failed save. But you see that that
has exhausted her. I do not have this anymore,
which may open up. I need the next ability that
would require a save. I cannot burn this again.
And Blanche, that's you. What is the action cost
for Blanche to pull a potion out of her pocket,
her bag, whatever, and just drop it, just place
it on the ground? Bonus action, I guess. A bonus?
All right. Okay. I'll take that. So she's going
to grab a regular old potion. Yeah, bonus. It's
going to be the same as like drinking it. You're
just putting it down. Yeah, quick thing. She's
going to say to Margus and DePiero, once Diva
Luma goes down, you'll need this. You'll have
to restrain her, but I won't be able to stay.
I have to get Jean. Out of the corner of your
eye, you catch a grateful expression that crosses
Chester's face. This heavy sort of sigh of relief.
Cool. And she's going to swing. Okay, okay. She's
going to swing with a plus two. Plus two. You
can see invisibility. It's not disadvantage because
of... Oh! I did it! I crimped my pants! Oh, shit!
Oh, my God! I mean, do you want me to roll? What's
your base damage for this? 3d8 with Shadowblade.
So it's actually 6d8, right? Well, yeah, the
base is 3d8. You'd have to roll so bad. Where
even is my d8? Oh, it's right there. Go ahead
and roll anyway. Okay. Let's see if you rolled,
you know, six ones. Three, four, five, two, five.
I was like, I was going to say like... Three
plus two is five. Well, right, yes. But I realized
I said five and I was like, no, not five on the
die, Stephen. Three plus two to five. Eight.
You can stop there. That was the HP left. Well,
that was halfway. That's halfway. What's it look
like? Diva Luma is invisible, and what the allies
cannot see is how she spins around towards them,
face furious, about to go into multiple attacks
with advantage. Looks towards Chester. Looks
towards your lord, DiPiero. Picking her target,
spins back towards you, but you won't give her
the chance. You will not give her any more chances.
Blanche, you drop the potion, and you go to swing.
What's it look like? Just like you said, Blanche.
thrusts out and puts her sword straight through
Diva Luma's belly, comes out the other side,
inches from De Piero, and she pulls it back through.
And if she still has movement, she's running.
You have your full movement, and we'll keep that
in mind as you press out of the room, Diva Luma.
One last will. Falls backwards. falls into unconsciousness,
dying. But the threat of her is gone. That is
the end of this round. One fight has resolved,
and Jaune stands firm. This room is safe. But
can you make it to the Total Lord in time? We'll
find out next time. Because we'll call it there!