hey there pants people uh steven here just want
to say real quick before the episode thank you
for listening thank you for hanging out with
us thank you for being here we love you enjoy
the episode light. Now, the Lucidarium of Zinder,
one of the world's most prestigious performing
arts schools, is known for producing many talents
that grace our crystal network. Singers and dancers,
bards and actors, those that graduate from the
Lucidarium are destined to impress. When it comes
to the Lucidarium's alumni, one name always tends
to overshadow the many, the luminary and battle
diva known as Diva Luma. Now, Diva Luma was adopted
by the Lucidarium at an early age. Her natural
talent had impressed the school's administrators.
Growing up in the school, she committed her life
to song, dance, and celebration. She was a natural,
the top of her class in each and every category.
But what really sets Diva Luma apart is her prowess
in martial combat, which is greater than the
title of Battle Diva. All the skills that make
her an incredible performer make her a deadly
combatant in a fight. Her agility and control
over her body, her knowledge of stage effects
and pyrotechnics. And criminals have better start
running when the heel shades come off of her
stiletto blade shoes. Devaluma's last resort
is a swift, poison -coated kick that is sure
to drop any villains that stand against her.
Folks, this is a lovely lady that you do not
want to step on your face. What the fuck was
that? Nothing, come on. What? Not even a chuckle?
No, just a concerned look. That's a good line.
I don't know. I'm really... This is my humor
when I'm tired. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Folks,
you are in for a wild ride today. It's a lovely
lady you do not want to step on your face. Wow.
Yeah, you already said it. I thought I'd get
a laugh. We didn't think it was very funny the
first time. I thought I'd get a laugh. Folks,
write in. That was funny. Oh, so tired. Only
one rock star a day. I'm still on it. Still doing
it. I don't have a booch. No booch today, unfortunately.
Oh, no booch. No booch. Just one sad rock star
and here I am. And I barely slept because the
spiders got into my house. They got into my house.
I'm pulling out for you, David. Do it. They got
into my house, Jeremy Wolf. They were behind
my couch. I was sitting on that couch. You guys
got texts from me last night in our group chat.
Like, you guys asleep? I have to leave right
now. You can't be here. I have to move out. I
have to burn my house down. Like, oh my gosh.
I read those this morning and I thought the worst
when I was like starting to read them. The worst
actually happened. And I was like, what the hell
is happening? Yeah. And it had just started to
storm here too. So it was a really, really eerie
moment. The worst happened. They got into my
house. You literally texted and said, are you
guys awake? And then I said, yeah, what's up?
And then you said, I might need to leave. Yeah.
I was like, oh no, what's happening? Yeah, they
got out of my house. Is your house on fire? No
worse. The big spiders were in it. I don't understand
you not getting this. It was a big spider. I'll
give you that. It was a big spider. There were
two of them, actually. Two big spiders. There
could be a hundred big. If there's two, there's
a hundred. That's how it all works. I couldn't
even do notes until today. I had to kick off
my shoes if I had shoes on. I had to go in the
middle of the room away from any walls and furniture
and just stand there and observe every corner,
every piece of wall, piece of floor for like
an hour. I wish I could help you, man. I mean,
this is real phobia. Real phobias are honestly,
it's wacky. It's a wacky characteristic, all
that. But honestly, true phobias are... I wouldn't
wish on my worst enemy. They are horrible things.
I'm glad you made it out all right. Because they're
like, it doesn't make any sense. They're stupid
little bugs. I know they can't do anything, but
my body does not like them. Yeah, I mean, they're
definitely scary. I don't want them on me, but.
How do you sleep in a house when you know they
could be anywhere? Silent, maybe deadly. I don't
know. Well, at least that. I don't think deadly.
Hey, speaking of deadly, we are in a very deadly
encounter here. Actually, we are in. Two different
encounters. The party split up. Me, very tired,
running it. It reminds me of something. It makes
me reminisce about a previous fight and a previous
arc where the party was split up. I feel like
something really bad happened at the end of that
fight. Do you guys remember this? No. I do remember.
You do remember. I don't. I don't, David. It
probably wasn't important. Yeah, no. Nothing
important happened. And here we are again. Shit
has gone down. I have a... I was going to show
you guys some pictures. I have some pretty cool
pictures of characters in this arc. This combat
partially is in the book, actually. There is
a point in the book where Diva Luma performing
on stage, more just like a street stage and a
tavern as you're kind of... There's not a whole
building. You're kind of moving through the city
in the actual arc itself. And this does go off.
A stage effect goes off and she does launch out
and begin to attack. I have Art of Diva Luma.
I have art of Margus Ruba because Margus owned
that tavern and was there for that combat. Even
got a little art of Azranir, R .I .P. Dead before
he really got to be explored, which is fine because
he had a place for him. He's dead. He's gone.
I didn't have art for everybody, though, so I
had to kind of get a little creative here. We'll
touch on that in a second. But first of all,
this is our map. You guys looking at the map?
We have a close -up of our two battle maps. Thanks,
of course, to Rochelle. She came in clutch over
the week here for us because I needed these close
-up versions of these with some actual furniture
thrown in. Just really give the character to
the fight. And damn, once again, did she deliver.
Yep. You see, like, the corners are tight here,
especially downstairs. It's going to be a tight,
tight combat. Yeah, very small map, especially
downstairs. Yeah. So you have our Diva Luma.
We have a Dead Razz Rainier. We have a Margus
Ruba. We have some Dwargar, actual official tokens.
But I had to get a little silly with the rest.
So the roles of DePiero and Ledoux, we played
by some very pompous looking real turtles that
I found online. Look at those turtles. Yeah,
they're pretty, pretty cute turtles. Snooty.
I only saw the top one. I only saw Dave Piero.
Look at those turtles. No, that's a cute -looking
turtle. Look at those eyes. They're judging you
right now. Yeah, but I have to zoom so far in
to see that it's anything more than just a turtle.
It's true. It's true. I still... Yeah, it's a
cool turtle. So we have those guys. Nice job,
David. Zenya Aruba will be played by Vin from
the cover art of Brandon Sanderson's Final Empire,
because Goth, which is an incredible book. It's
the first of the Mistborn trilogy. And Turbo,
the bat, will be played by Batty the bat from
Fringally the Last Rainforest, which might be
a good movie. It might be. Are you kidding me?
I've got to watch it again. Are you kidding me?
That scarred me as a kid. I think that's a really
small part for Xenia. I mean, is she dead? What?
Isn't Xenia dead? She looks pretty dead. Right.
Big old red crossover. Yeah. Is she dead, though,
or is she making saves? She looks pretty dead
to me. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. Okay.
I don't know. You don't know. I don't really
see a lot of... I don't know. Yeah. All right.
Well... You ready? Yeah, I was like... Well,
hold on. A few more things to touch on first.
Hold your damn horses, ponytail. Whoa, whoa,
whoa. Is there a drink for that? Oh, no. Let's
wait just a damn minute. Yeah. Jean -Franco has
just enough time to finish tuning to the Ring
of Spell story that you gave him last time. You
gave it to him at three. It's just now four o
'clock. He had just, he literally had like an
hour, boom, happened. Then we had a little conversation
that led into this combat right after he finished
attuning. His weapon, you know, leads against
the wall across the small chamber about 10 feet
away from the cell door. He did get to keep his
shield though, as it wasn't seen as a threat
by the silent burst. So he is hanging on to his
full AC number for this fight. Batty hangs in
the room's northwest corner near the spear and
just above the body of Zinnia Ruba. LeDoux is
tucked away in the back corner of the 10x10 cell
with Jean standing at the cell's front, trying
to keep the Duergar away from his friend? Maybe.
Upstairs. We can see Amos Neer and Larissa Rin
have fled the room. I don't want to put them
on the map because I don't feel like getting
tokens for them. They're gone. They're out. They
move past the Duergar, who are set to fight against
the Mad Diva. There are actually four exits to
this chamber, two on the east wall and two on
the west. The Duergar are moving in from the
main entrances on the east wall. The stage sits
in the north center of the room. Azra's corpse
lies on the floor, blood pooling around the front
of the stage. Diva Luma stands upon it still,
and the pink haze that seemingly drove her to
this state has settled along the boards of the
stage, no longer actively in the air, just in
case you were worried about that. Jules and Chester
stand at the western edge of the stage, with
Jules facing closer to the action, kind of Chester
tucked in right behind him, as I'm sure Jeremy
would want. Don't assume what I want. All right,
Chester's right. He's on the stage. He's rolling
around in the pink dust. He's rolling around
in the pink dust. No. At the south side of the
room, Margus, DiPiero, and Blanche all sit at
tables. Imagine everyone's standing up at this
point right by each other. At the battle start,
all of them are around 20 to 25 feet away from
the stage. With that said, now, Mr. Impatient
over there, are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. And
I was worried about that, so thank you for clarifying.
Hell. Yeah. In that case. Let me get some Sirenscape.
Let's get a Sirenscape. There it is. But before
we start, I need to wait just a damn minute.
Nice. Take your drink. I can't believe there's
still some of that left. Steven, do you want
to wait just a damn minute? Yeah, wait just a
damn minute. You know, the last time I played
this particular track, people went for it. Yeah,
I did. Oh, that's so good. Thanks, D. This in
Sirenscape is the Avernus Rock sound set. And
the last time I played this, I believe, was also
that last fight where everyone was split up.
I don't know what you're talking about, David.
Something happened at the end of it. I can't
quite put my finger on it. You're such a dick.
Still don't know what you're talking about. I
think it's like, you know, it's bombastic music.
Maybe this is Deva Luma's set. Maybe she was
lip singing or singing to like a sort of set
performance emanating out from the stage. I don't
know. That could be cool. Maybe it's in the media
itself. This is backtrack. I don't know. Do they
have fantasy electric guitars? They have fantasy
everything in this setting. They got cameras.
They got, I don't know. They got everything.
Roll for initiative. All right. Yeah. Oh, shit.
So I play Chester so infrequently in combat that
I always forget what his modifiers apply to.
He has just straight. Is his dex initiative or
is it just straight initiative? It's his dex.
Okay. Chester is a 19. Jules is a 7. Ooh. I hate
that. Tough luck on that, Jules. It's going to
get worse. Worse, you say? Yeah, fuck. How's
it going to get worse? Let's hear it. Blanche?
Yep. Got a 6 initiative. Oh, no. What's your
dex? That's rough. I have a plus 4 initiative.
Wow. I rolled a 2. That is rough, buddy. John
got a 9. Okay. Well, you won't be surprised to
hear that I got very high initiatives for the
most part. So, oh boy. Let's start this off with
Diva Luma. Fuck. Blood drips from her, like,
already stained sort of foot, ankle, her shoe,
which is, like, just kicked out, just, like,
plunged through Azranir's throat and just spreading
sort of splash, like, all down her leg. She,
like, whips it around, turns towards you, jewels
a spray of blood, scatters across the stage,
and she just screams out, your eyes are gone,
mad, this rage, this poison, her veins pulsing
on her head, and she's going to just, dive towards
you now get ready this is a luminary and you
guys would know this is a luminary who's pretty
prominent in the scene diva luma is no pushover
anyway let's make some attacks would we just
like based off of what we know about diva luma
as a figure of pop culture would we be able to
glean sort of what class she is yes i think so
how about your only history check all right okay
For some reason, for some reason, Jules doesn't
know shit about her. Dude, I gotta roll the natural
one. Natural three, so a seven. Jeez. Give me
that, dude, give me that holy water. I think
we need it. You're gonna need it. All right,
you first. There's just too much at stake tonight.
So while you're doing that, I'll tell you this.
You don't know what her fighting style necessarily
is, but you're about to find out. Did you say
steak? She slides off. Yeah, that'll get him.
My foot joke wasn't funny. No, it really wasn't.
No, it wasn't. And then you also said, like,
oh, hey, I got pictures. I thought you were going
to, like, show us pictures, and I was going to
say something like, oh, yeah, I'd let her step
on my face. But we never got there because you
just bragged about having pictures. I was like,
I want to appear and turn around, like, look,
guys, and make all the noise in the world, bump
my mic seven times. I have pictures, and they're
cool. But, yeah. All right. Well, that's the
end of the... Foot and face joke. Is there a
name for that kink, you think? I'll Google it.
You go. Yeah, sure. Okay. Jeremy, first attack's
going to only be an 11 to hit. Very bad roll.
Good. Yeah, it doesn't hit. Second attack is
going to be a 26 to hit. Fuck you. Okay, cool.
Not a bad roll, actually. Oh, God. That is going
to be six points of piercing damage as well as...
Oh, sorry. That's the wrong die. Oh, wow. It's
just called the foot fetish. I just assumed that
there would be a more specific. Pretty good roll
on my part. So I already said the six points
of the piercing damage. Nine points of poison
damage. This slides. Holy shit. First it goes
to hit you. Perhaps your cloak kind of like,
you have this full pressure, maybe like weaves
up front. You're kind of weaving around. It like
grabs the foot, pulls it away. She spins with
it and slashes across you. And you take, boom,
a strike of this poison damage. Bringing you
down. Well, okay. No, this is really bad. This
is already really bad. You are fucking us hard.
You guys did take a short rest before, right?
No. Yeah, way back when. Should we? Yeah, we
should do a full HP. Full HP before this fight.
I am at full HP. I was at full HP. Was at full
HP. All right, cool. Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. When did we take a short rest?
You took a short rest after the Caiman fight
and before this. So you wouldn't have been hurt.
Going into this. Okay, no, then apparently I
did not. Okay, make sure you mark that down.
I'm going to mark that because, well, no, because
with my short rest, I do get my full bardic inspiration
back. Yes, because when you first arrived here,
you were in the billiards room for one hour with
D .Va Luma, actually. Okay. So, good. That was
cool. You said that was kind of like, wow, I
mean, you know, 15 damage is a lot, but I don't
know. I mean, it is a lot. I only have 33. Yeah,
okay, that's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot.
David's face just changed. Oh, no. This is great.
I'm having a good time. It's going to get worse.
Oh, my God. But that is Diva Luma's turn. Just
this rage. She slashes into you. As this blade
takes you, it slashes across your chest, perhaps,
like you're in this sort of open spot. You can
feel, like, a poison coursing through you. Remember
the black veins that popped up on Azranir as
he was, like, cut down? You can feel it sort
of crippling you, weakening you. Chester takes
this in. Chester, staying right behind you, looks
to Diva Luma. And Chester, there's something
in his eyes, like this struggle. Because not
that long ago, you were on the world of God's
breath. And you cut down people in that world
that were under outside control, people who may
have been innocent had they had control over
their actions. And now, once again, so soon after
rejoining you, Chester finds himself in the same
position. This person, might, the innocent, driven
to attack you via rage, and yet Jules is hurt.
There is a pain in Chester's eyes, but he does
raise his weapon because he understands the lesson
you taught him then, that sometimes you have
to do what you have to do, and maybe, just maybe,
there's a chance to save her. Jules, you would
remember that when someone Arhalon fought you,
bringing him down to unconscious was enough to
remedy the poison inside of him. Once he was
unconscious, you brought him back and he was
gone. The rage was gone. You may be able to save
her. But Chester is up. I feel like what we talked
about earlier, Stephen, I feel like I have to
do that with both of us. You might be right.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Reset. I mean, we're
just going to have to try. I really wish I had
like a solid concrete plan. Yeah, I mean, we
don't. It's just I don't see not doing that.
Right. All right. Jules, in pain, will turn to
Chester. Chester. And he'll nod over. Blanche.
What? And Chester Misty steps over to Blanche.
Oh, shit. Okay. Bonus action. He just kind of,
all right. Doesn't question you at all. It's
a bonus action? You still have your attack. It's
a bonus action? Misty steps a bonus action. Really?
Yep. Oh. Yeah. Okay. That's better. Stands behind
Blanche, and he's already got his bow out, perhaps.
That's better. Yeah. Fuck yeah, he does. Hell
yeah. Of course. He's got to get that range.
That's his deal. 17 to hit. 17 hits. Max damage.
Ooh. Six on the die, plus three. That is solid
opening move, Chester. Just like, yo, appears
beside you, Blanche. Blanche, you're still in
this moment. You're seeing this rum. Chester
just appears before you. Bow out, just like.
All right. Take this. Shoots. Come on. Leave
Jules alone. Just firing, firing. The bow whips
and rips across with her back. Screams out again.
And Chester is standing firm. Hell yeah. Let's
hop downstairs. Because it's Harlan's turn. Oh
boy. This is where things are going to get even
worse. Okay. Now here's the thing I'm going to
do that's actually going to favor you. And I
think I have to do this. Harlan's going to stand
up beside the duergar that's opened the door,
the sort of normal duergar. He's got his blade
out where he just, like, you know, blood still
drips from it from where he just struck Xenia,
and he stands sort of beside the body, kind of
against the bars of the cell as the cell is whipped
open. He's going to make attacks against Jaune,
but because of his positioning and because of
where the cell bar's in the way, I'm going to
say he has disadvantage. He's kind of trying
to stab through the bars towards him. I don't
think it makes sense for him to be able to attack
normally. That is one boon. Don't think I'm being
nice, because I'm a nasty fella. Trust me, I
know. All right, cool. I'm making two attacks.
A Jaune at disadvantage. With a d10, apparently.
Yeah, you can keep using that, actually. Go ahead,
go ahead. It's not the kind of disadvantage I
was thinking of. The first will be a miss, and
the second will be a hit with a 22. I thought
you only rolled twice. Did you take disadvantage?
Yeah. No, I'm an idiot. So the first one didn't
hit. First is a miss. First is a miss. You're
right. You're right. I forgot. Hey, good on you.
Tough one. That's an 18. Nope. Oh, the shield.
Nice. Nice. Brings it around, bashes the weapon
wide. What I am going to do is after he attacks,
like parries his blade, slides off, he's, kill
him! He yells out. I'm using call to attack,
which is an ability that allows The duergar beside
him to use its reaction to make a free attack.
So here we go. This duergar, without disadvantage,
is right in the doorway. Goes in with a war pick.
With a 22 to hit. Yep, that's a hit. Okay. Ooh,
not the best damage, though. Only five points
on Jean. Okay. As this one, the shield's still
out blocking the sword. He's not ready for the
second blow that comes down. He's able to kind
of parry it with his sort of shoulder shell,
but it chips off into his shell, rips down some
of his skin. And he's, I do. Stay behind me.
That's Harlan's turn. I can do some nasty stuff,
but I'm not going to use it yet. Hop back upstairs.
Margus Ruba is immediately charging the stage.
Oh, thank goodness. We need Margus. Oh, wait.
Wait, they're charging the stage? They are charging
the stage, but they're not going on the stage.
Don't worry. The powder's down. You're not being
too tricksy. I'm not doing anything gnarly. Margus
knows what this is. Margus was the one that told
you. So they're going to charge the stage, reach
out, and I'm going to make some attacks on D
.Va Luma. Kind of attacking upwards, but let's
do this thing. Now, initially I was going to
give Margus basically just a set, like two damage.
Obviously there's a fake modifier that you get
for our attacks then remember I made their backstory
that they were literally a tavern brawler and
the tavern brawler free Gives you a d4 for every
honor attack. So just because of that Marcus
is gonna get a nice little boon to their damage.
Let's do this thing That's a miss I Rolled a
three and a two. Yeah, same here Sliding in two
fists that go out and Diva just Weaves around
just this dancer's grace. I can't. Damn it. Can't
get in. Okay. Margus is there. Perhaps another
target isn't just going to be Jules up in the
shit. Margus, block. I need a little bit of time.
Duergar moving in. One is charging the stage.
One is actually going to come over and stand
in front of DiPiero. And by you, Blanche, basically
taking a defensive position in case Diva Luma
tries to move. The first duergar, the one that's
closer, runs up, slides onto the stage, comes
in with another war pick. I'm going to attack
on Diva Luma. You guys have reinforcements here.
That's the one nice thing. Yeah, exactly. That's
a five on the die. Your reinforcements suck.
Duergar misses. Again, she just weaves down.
Dude, Diva Luma is proving herself to be the
badass I know she is as she just dodges every
single attack. Just... Brutal. The duergar are
up, though, which does mean that downstairs,
this guy's going to attack Jean again. Three
on the die. Okay. Jean, he's ready. He parries
it. We're good to go. And as he parries that
attack, the camera sort of pans around to his
features, fierce and strong, because it's Jean
Franklin's turn. All right. Now, let me talk
to you real quick about this turn, Blanche. This
is kind of an important fight. Jean stands in
this place. He has someone he wants to protect.
And you know he's been feeling like a failure
lately. He's been feeling all these sort of great,
like, losses that he feels he's had just sort
of mounting up on him. Steven Rodriguez, can
you deliver us a rare John Franklin win here?
Can he protect himself, his friend, everyone
here? That's up to you. Yeah, I'm going to try.
Hell yeah. I mean, this is interesting because,
like, both of you have sidekicks that have stake
in this fight. And how this goes, like their
mentality, their very heart depends on your actions
here. That's why I love sidekicks so much. All
right. So it's hard because Jean doesn't know
that, at least in some form, help is coming.
But Steven does. I think what Jean's going to
do for this turn is take the dodge action. Oh,
that's actually fine. Yeah, he's in the doorway.
Yeah. So he's blocking. That's really cool. Okay,
he just brings a shield up and stands firm. He's
going to hold the line as long as he can. Yep.
That is really cool. I love seeing the dodge
action get used. It doesn't happen a lot, but
when it does, it's always honestly really cool.
Right? Hell yeah. Okay. All right. So Jaune knows
he's the bulwark here. Someone's going to hold
this spot. He can protect the people he needs
to protect. Exactly. I had thought about using
shell defense, but it comes with too many negatives.
Yeah. Like, he'd need to use a bonus action to
emerge from his shell and everything. So, I mean,
because dodge gives him advantage, right, on
blocks? It gives me disadvantage on every attack.
Well, right, exactly, yeah. So it's like plus
four to AC or disadvantage on attacks. I think
I'll take that for now without having the...
the negative effects of shell defense. Yeah,
I love it. I absolutely love it. Sweet. Jaune
stands his ground. Super cool. Super cool. That
is going to be DiPiero and Ledoux. Ledoux obviously
stays put, does not move. DiPiero looks to you,
Master Defense. Master Defense, how can I help?
What is this madness? Stay behind me. I'm going
to check on Jaune. Then I'll be back to take
care of this. Check on Jaune. I think that's
like as far as he gets before you start to, maybe
you're already kind of fading in. She like wargs
into Turbo. Yeah. You just hear him kind of like,
what happened to Jaune? And you're already gone.
He moves up behind you, staying right behind
your shell, taking up a spot, fully trusting
his master defense. All right. Okay. Following
that, it's going to be you, Jules. Jules will
pull out his rapier. Oh, yeah. Wait, does Turbo
get any movement during Blanche's turn? Because
it's an action to go into Turbo. I believe you
would, yeah. Okay. Is there any way that... How
long is Jaune's spear? Jaune's spear is about
five feet long, I imagine. Okay, never mind.
I'm going to need to wait until next turn and
use Mage Hand then. I was just going to knock
it over, but... Okay. Well, you're warging, but
it's actually... Oh, I thought Jules had already
gone, so I was like, wait, why isn't it my turn?
Nah, he went as far as getting his butt kicked
by me. Yeah. So he pulls out his rapier. My foot
joke was funny. Come on, you gotta come to your
senses. We don't want to do this. And he's gonna
strike her. Okay. Whoa. That's not gonna hit
with a seven. Nope, it will not. And then as
bonus action, Jules is going to misty step over
to Blanche and Chester. Oh, shit. Okay. Hell
yeah. All right, so there's, like, everyone sort
of down on the south side of the room now. Only
Margus and the Duergar stand on the stage. This
is getting hot. What's so fun is, like, I don't
think Blanche told anybody fully that Jon's in
danger. So Jules and Chester are kind of, like,
surrounding Blanche. And then Blanche is going
to, like, vanish. Well, Blanche doesn't know
that Jean's in danger. She's just going into
Turbo to check on him. No, you were watching
that whole scene last time. Oh, right, right,
right. And you popped out, and you saw all this
go down, and you're like, fuck. Okay, then she
would have said something like, Jean's in trouble.
I'm going to help him. I'll be right back. Yeah,
you say that. You scream that out. And actually,
you can scream it out because it's your turn.
Actually, wait. You missed it. What are you else
going to do? Sorry. No, that's it. That's it?
Okay. Yeah. All right. That is a bonus action.
You do have an action spell. No, you attack.
I took my action. I attacked. I'm a doofus. I'm
dumb. Blanche. Okay. Blanche is going to use
her action to see through Turbo's eyes. You leave
the chaos upstairs behind. And you are about
like 20 to 30 feet down below where you are now
in this cellar room. Just seeing everything from
here now. Yeah, really the only thing she can
do aside from that. So I'll say maybe even before
she... She went into turbo. She used her bonus
action to enter Bladesong. You actually used
that. You already did it last time. Oh, that's
right. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, because I think
we ended last episode with, like, oh, yeah, Blanche
is going to, like, run and enter Bladesong. Yeah.
Right. And then you realize that it might be
hard to get there and there are other ways to
handle this in the moment. But you are in Bladesong.
But just for cool, do the effect right now. Thanks,
Jeremy. Man, that was so cool. I already inserted
that when he said Blade Song the first time.
Oh, man. No, he did it twice? No, I don't think
he did it twice. He just looked like an idiot.
Shit. All right, do a mail time right here. No,
there's no mail, though. Damn it. Don't got mail.
All right. That is the end of Blanche's pathetic
little turn. Oh, no. So sad. You pop in. You
see Jean holding the line. Already has one sort
of fresh gash, sort of right in, sort of a nick
on his shoulder. Okay. And Turbo is right by
the spear, correct? Turbo is basically five feet
away from the spear. Turbo's on the ceiling in
the corner. The spear is like the five foot square
below where you are, south of where you are.
That's fine, so I'm not going to use any movement
to get over to it. Hell yeah. With that, we have
one more turn for this very long -ass first round.
It's going to be a long fight, gentlemen. Before
we finish this turn, or I start this turn, I
have to go on kind of a weird tangent here. A
remembrance, if you will, of campaigns. past.
This is going to seem really weird, but stick
with me. All right. All right. Yeah, it's pretty
weird. Yeah. Once upon a time, you two stood
in the town of Caradineval in Icewind Dale. I
know, I told you it's weird. Battling against
an army of awakened beasts under the control
of the druid Sephe Kastro. At this point, you'd
already destroyed his human body, and he lived
on in the form of an enormous, ferocious, like,
white moose. You remember all this? It was cool.
Yeah, yeah, I do remember this. Yeah. Fuck that
guy. That guy was gunning for you, Jeremy. You
and the adult Mexican Muddlehopper, your prior
Echo Knight fighter. Like, I wanted you dead.
You were standing there, holding line against
this overwhelming force. And I always went through
damage to you. I think I just did. I did an antler
strike on you. Doing enough damage that I knew
you were unconscious, and therefore prone. And
I knew when you were prone, I would get a second
attack as a bonus action to trample your prone
body, which was almost certain to kill you. It
was a set thing. It was a scary moment. But I
didn't get to do that. I didn't get to get that
second attack because you didn't go prone, because
you didn't go unconscious despite the fact that
you should have. And I'm asking you right now,
Jeremy, do you remember why? I don't. You don't?
Do you remember, Steven? No. You look at me like
you do. No, no. It was a racial feat of yours,
actually. Okay. called Orcish Ferocity. Okay.
That means that when you take damage that should
drop you below zero, you obtain one HP. First
time ever happened in the campaign. That surprised
me, shocked me. Anyway, here in this moment,
on the floor of the cellar, Xenia Ruba snaps
awake. Whoa. We talked before about how every
living thing in D &D is a little bit Wolverine.
While half orcs have an interesting biological
feature. When they face death, when their strongest
emotions pour through their bodies, they become
like 5 % more Wolverine for an instant. Just
long enough for the vital parts of the wound
through Xenia's chest to close, leaving her alive
and at 1 HP. Still shackled, still injured, still
in absolute peril, but alive just for the moment.
I did not plan this. I realized this between
sessions because I was thinking about that fight.
I don't know why I came to it and I was like,
wait, Xenia Rube is a half orc. Why not? Which
is good, but there is pressure now because as
she snaps awake, Jaune's eyes sort of catch that.
He wants to protect everyone if he can. She can't
really fight. She's just kind of... Just breathing
hard against the floor, looking around with wide
eyes. Doesn't understand what is happening. Why
is she in so much pain? What happened? The duergar
don't seem to notice yet, though. They are focused
on their prize before them. The rage has them
honed in on Jaune. And that, gentlemen, is the
end of round one. I have no idea what I'm going
to do about that, by the way. Oh, wait. No, it's
not. Because I'm going to use a legendary action
before I end this round. Great. Cool. Fun. With
D. Valuma. I love this. Yo, this is going to
be fun. 10 -foot cube, 10 -foot cube. Oh, man.
Let me see. Uh -oh. Okay, cool. That means I
can use it upon where I am standing and not take
damage because it's a creature of my choice.
I told you already, or I mentioned last time,
D .Va Loom is very skilled with pyrotechnics,
and they're not just on the stage, baby. They
are everywhere. As she suddenly whirls around
towards the... Suddenly the two people she was
facing vanish in mist. They're gone. But she
looks to the two others around her. Margus, Ruba,
and this duergar, this silent verse officer that
stand. And she just does this sort of whirling
like... Like laugh as she swirls around and like...
some mechanism kind of up her sleeve of her dress
releases this sort of burst of... What's the
name of the step on this again? What? Don't ask
me. What'd you say? Just this burst of light,
just shining, shimmering, dazzling light that's
almost like these little mini flash bomb explosions
that blast in the eyes of these guys. And as
she does this, it's almost like this sort of
sparkling mist swirls around her. You see that
she vanishes. Oh, no. And the two other people
here... are going to take some damage. I just
need, like, three rounds to, like, set up, and
then we'll be cool. Okay. I'll be dead by then.
I'll be dead by then. As this blast of lights
hit them, and they kind of, like, the daze, their
flash, Zdivaluma is effectively gone. Going to
the GM layer. Oh, you mean right there? I'm kidding.
No. I will say, you don't hear any movement from
the stage. Probably she's in the same spot. But
at the very least, that happened. Probably. Probably.
Well, there is canonically a layer of powder
on the stage. Yeah. I noticed that. But now I
get to make my turn. Diva Luma is going to move.
I'm going to keep the token invisible. I'm not
hiding. So while I'm fully obscured, you know
where she is. You can hear the steps as she runs
across the floor. You can hear where she is.
You can see how people are reacting to her. Unless
I hide, that's not going to change. I would get
a bonus to hiding, but that's not my goal. I'm
in a ferocious mood here. I'm going to keep her
on the field, but just remember that your attacks
will have disadvantage on their two hit while
she's invisible. She slides around behind Margus.
Because I'm invisible, I'm going to take advantage.
on my attacks. Now I'm really getting... Let's
see what happens here. And just... They just
feel like a blade sliding into them. Twice. Two
hits. Two hits on Margus. Let's do some damage
about it. We really needed Margus for like a
couple turns. Three rounds? No, not literally
three rounds. Margus had previously taken five
damage from the sort of effect. Margus just took
18 more damage from these two strikes. Not the
best roll it could have been, but pretty good.
Margus looks rough, but they are still up. Spinning
around. Dude, Jules can't take any of that. No.
Like, no. Yeah. This is a gnarly fight. That's
going to be Chester. Oh, fuck. He's going to
hit with a short ball again. Okay. This step
block is so rude. It's only a 12. It's not going
to hit, is it? Yeah, don't even bother rolling
the disadvantage for invisibility. Oh, yeah.
Hit. just tries, and like, what are you doing?
Invisible force behind Margus, can't really get
a beat on it, and Chester's just trying to be
too hard to protect Margus. Bullet flies, or
arrow flies too high, doesn't land. Jules being
Jules, after he sees that, he's going to grab
Chester and pull Chester behind him. Okay. Damn
it, Jules, I can't get in on it. She's quick,
and I can't see her. Don't worry, we'll get her.
We'll get her. All right. Oh, wait. It wouldn't
matter. because you missed the first one. Actually,
she is visible now. I forgot. It lasts until
the end of my next turn. I used the end of the
round. I had it for basically that one attack,
and my turn ended. So she actually fully appears
after those first two hits. The bullet does fly
too high, though. Again, she's interlocked with
Margus, and Chester does not want to hurt Margus,
so it goes a little too high. Okay. So I can't
get a beat on. She's quick. Cool. Good wedge
you almost had. But you can see her, which may
be a big deal. All right. We're going downstairs
again. I'm going to do the same thing as last
time, two attacks on Jaune and a call to action.
I have disadvantage in these attacks. You have
disadvantage. First is a miss. Second is a...
No, it's an 18 again. That missed, right? No,
get out of here. All right, so Harlan tries two
more blade swipes. His attacks are, like, strong.
thing through the bars, this massive, like, clang,
clang, ripping across and sparks flying off of
him. He cannot get in on Jaune again. We'll kill
him! And now I'm doing another free attack with
Would You Believe It? in 18. No go. Just ping,
ping. Another guy tries to move in. Jaune's at
the ready. And besides, I have a disadvantage
anyway on this guy, too. So, definitely couldn't
hit. Like, yeah. Jaune is ready for this. He's
holding that line. Okay. Pretty good. Pretty
good. Might have to get mean soon. We'll see.
Okay. Let's do a quick two attacks with Margus.
Margus goes in with a rough sort of like, I think
misses the first attack, you know, fist goes
wide. And then as she sort of goes into kick
again, they grab her leg, kind of like pulling
the blade and just kind of one good solid sock
in the face. Boom, punch. Nice. Yeah. Way to
go, Margus. One hit. One hit there. A little
bit of damage. Not the most, but it helps. Everything
helps. That is the Duergar. I'll start with the
ones up here. Honestly, the one that's kind of
standing by you guys is going to move up and
try to help out in the fight. Maybe he's going
to flank? I think that would make some sense,
wouldn't it? It would make some sense. All right.
So, Jules, where do you stand? Duergar, I stand
before you. No worries. Luminary. We silent verse
will hold the line. This guy gets behind you,
or gets in front of you, goes into strike with
that plus two flanking bonus. That may have clinched
the hit. It did. Okay. A solid hit, too. That's
going to be a good eight points of damage on
D .Va Luma. All right. As this war pick goes
sliding, hits firm. I'm actually going to do
a little thing. I forgot about this last time.
I'll do it now. Weaves out of the way of the
blow in a sort of uncanny kind of dodge sort
of scenario. Only takes half damage from it.
Yeah, I'm a gross, gross, gross man. So horrible.
Yeah, and you know what? Let's have more fun.
I'm going to use a legendary to do a stab on
this guy. Yeah, I can do anything I want. I can
do anything I want. And that is going to hit.
What it must be like to be a supervillain. You
know, I'm going to be like the set damage when
I'm fighting NPCs. I'm going to roll 100 die
because that's just too many die. Too many die
are happening right now. Duergar takes a good
solid legendary action kick. She tries to get
in there. Pretty rough. Poison veins. You know
the deal. That is. You know the deal. You know
the deal. That's that Duergar. Other Duergar
is going to move down and slide up beside Divaluma.
They've got her three quarters surrounded. And.
You have allies. You have allies for now. And
that Noirgar actually crits. Oh, nice. I'll crit
my pet. Everywhere. He said it. He said it. He
said it. I'm feeling friendly today. Yeah, I
said the thing. Jules from the distance. I smell
crit. You smell crit, sir. All right. Unfortunately,
there's one on the die and a three, so. Oh, my
God. Only six points of damage. That was a pretty
shitty crit. You'll tell me. Oh, this sucks.
Hey, that's a little damage. One more duergar.
Downstairs, attacking Jean. Wait, I thought you
already did that guy. No, I did my reaction crit
from Harlan. Harlan can command that. It's pretty
gross. He misses with disadvantage still. Nice.
All right, great. That's it. Blades are sliding
off field as Jaune is holding the line. Honor
preserved, baby. And that's going to be Jaune.
All right. Both Jaune and Steven are going to
simultaneously remember the Ring of Spell story.
And Jaune is going to use it to cast Phantasmal
Force. I think. There's, like, a lot of text
here. Okay. Have you read through, do you? No.
Okay. I don't know what that does. Honestly,
why don't you pause the recording for like a
minute so we can talk about this. Let's do this.
Let's do this. See you guys. Bye. All right.
So we do our reading. I like to think in this
sort of time as John's dodging, he's sitting
there, he's trying to think of the exact right
move to make here. He's, he's taking the stance
and like, and like really considering all the
options, trying to think like Blanche. What would
Blanche do? What would Blanche do? Control the
field. Control the current of the battle. Where
is it? Where is the control? And then he realizes.
What are you going to do, Steven? Jon is going
to cast Phantasmal Force, and the phantasm that
he's going to make bear in the cell with him
and Ledoux is the pig man. What? Oh. The scariest,
most threatening thing that Jaune can think of.
One weird thing about this, right? I've got to
figure this out. So I guess it doesn't matter.
I mean, they're seeing what they're going to
see, right? Right. The pig man is the size of
the cell. Yeah. Pig man's huge. Yeah. Well, there
you go. Holy crap. That means if, like, it pushes
Jaune back into the corner and he's completely
hidden, right? This is interesting. Okay, so
they're going to see the pig man. Well, if they
fail the intelligence saving throw. Okay. And
Harlan is the target here, to be clear. It's
a single target spell. So there's Harlan and
the other Dwargar down here. Okay. Harlan is
the one you are targeting. I'm getting the actual
token ready. You're getting the token out. There's
the big man once again. Didn't think I'd see
this guy again. Didn't think we'd ever see this
guy again. Is there sound? Or just a picture?
No, it's sound as well. Who's back? All right.
Harlan, maybe perhaps a pig man fan. Nope, I
was wrong. Sorry. All right. It doesn't happen.
That was still fun. That was still fun. Again,
you have to make the save first. It's a phantasmal
object, creature, or other visible phenomenon
of your choice. Okay. I mean, we just stopped
to read it, and we didn't do a very good job.
The phantasm includes sound, temperature, and
other stimuli, also evident only to the creature.
Make the save first. We're doing a lot of explanation.
Okay, all right. It might be for naught. Judges
advantage in this body, perhaps. And let's say
right now it's a DC 13, is what Mesmerize is
working with. You're using Mesmerize. A 13? 13.
Jeez. Oh, my God. This is almost worth two buttons.
You fought her a long time ago. Does he take
any hit to his intelligence because he's under
the control of that? No, well, he has to fail
the save first, and then he's under, yeah. It's
not going to work. Well, no, because of the poison,
I actually do like where you're going with that.
Oh, under control of, oh, the maddening poison.
I do like where you're going with that. I'm going
to say yes. I like that a lot. I have to imagine
Harlan is pretty intelligent as fuck. Right.
Under this, though. Is this a real, like, condition?
Is this in the book? Does it have any? It's in
the book and changed from the book. Okay. But,
I mean, for the most part, I am in, like, this
locked state of I have to, like, I have to kill
anything around me. Right. If this is going to
look and feel like a person, I don't think Harlan's
in the mindset to be able to easily distinguish
it. I think it makes sense. And my home -brewed
poison for an effect like this may actually get
this advantage. I think it makes sense. That's
fair. It is pretty powerful. It's really cool.
You only get one of these. These spells, once
you use them, they're gone. So you blow one of
your two Mesmerize spells in this ring. The pig
man lands in this stage. Harlan, eyes go like,
raging out, wide, bulging. Let's do the save
with disadvantage. Come on. He goes striking
at the pig man. Nice. I think maybe for a second
Harlan perked up for a second as he heard Xenia
finally call onto that. Can't get through to
Jaune. And then that twitching muscle turns around.
His face begins to turn around towards Xenia,
who's on the floor writhing with her shackles.
And just going to turn, boom, the pig man is
there. Jaune found a way to save everyone as
Harlan spins around and goes striking out his,
you know, let's see what happens. Let's see what
happens. And it says each round on your turn,
the phantasm can deal 1d6 psychic damage to the
target. Oh, I love that. That's the coolest thing.
Yeah, this is cool. This is really cool. So does
that count on the first turn? It doesn't say
after. Each round on your turn. On your turn.
Oh, boy. Is it starting your next turn? I think
so, yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. I think
you're right. Pigman does four psychic damage
to Harlan. That's amazing. Nice. You know what?
I'm going to do something really fun about this,
actually. Yeah, okay. I like this a lot. So currently
for Harlan, this entire cell is just full of
the pig man. The turtle's kind of like vanishing
sort of behind him. The pig man's sort of squeezing
in the cell and maybe like reaches out and does
like a sort of sumo pig slap. Pork chop. He eats
him with a pork chop. With a pork chop. Bounces
back so he actually got hit. Takes a little bit
of damage from it. Sort of shakes it out of his
head and looks back at him. And you see he's
about to do something because I want to have
fun here. I hope it's not an AOE. All right.
That's Jaune. Ledoux and DiPiero are going to
stay put because I want to keep moving them around.
They are in protected places. They're good. Just
looking on towards their guardians. Just eyes
full of hope. Jules, it's you. Okay. First, Jules
is going to use a bonus action to get Spartic
Inspiration onto Blanche. Nice. The D8. And Jules
will move to the other side of Chester. And then
he will cast level two blindness deafness. Whoa.
On to Diva Luma. It's a con save. Oh, man. That's
pretty gross. That's a surprise face. That's
pretty gross. It's a con save, huh? Correct.
All right. It's not the worst. It's not the worst.
Oh, yeah. Diva Luma, I bet she's got a decent
con, yeah. Yeah, probably. I have other things
up my belt as well. Diva Luma is mean. I don't
know if this passes or not. Oh, I have to choose,
so I failed the throw, I get to do this. Okay,
so will A. 13 would fail, I'm imagining, right?
13 fails. Okay. You've got something else up
your sleeve here. Yeah, he does. So I'm going
to use my legendary resistance. You fucking Christ.
Boss monster. You. Deepaluma's not fucking around.
That's a good, no, but you blew it. You burned
that legendary. D .Va just sees this sort of,
her eyes are getting covered over, and she's
sort of like, like rages out, and you kind of
see like almost, like she just grits her teeth,
and the spell just seems to slide off of her.
This like, her every ounce of will pushing into
her mind, her veins bulging, and she just rips
this magic away. That was a good move, Jeremy.
It was a good move. Thanks. Hey, burning those
things, big deal. It's a big deal. oh boy hell
yeah gentlemen and you guys want to do this round
mr jeremy will no okay we're on to blanche that
means we're on to turbo turbo snaps awake in
the cell you see what's going on down here um
you're up in the corner you are i'm gonna say
like they don't know you're here you probably
like set up kind of hiding. When you initially
did this, they were kind of having this little
argument about the curse of the heirs and whatever.
So you managed to get Turbo kind of hiding up
above a rafter in the shadows. The Dwargar are
bad at their job. They didn't notice somehow.
I don't care. It's fun. It's cool. You're up
here. If you get noticed, things might get sour
for old Turbo. Yeah. So what Turbo wants to do
or what Blanche wants Turbo to do is really simple.
Blanche wants to get Jean his spear. Using turbo
so she can either do that with magic missile
or I guess maybe try to do that with turbos movement
I Think magic missile earth not magic missile.
What am I saying? mage hand I was looking at
magic missile when I meant to say mage hand.
It makes sense. You're reaching down and you're
shooting through the floor with your mage hand.
You can make it appear and you can see. That's
how we did the I'm off the door before. The old
turbo trick. I love it. You're looking down at
the turbo's eyes and within your range you're
reaching down towards the floor and you're casting
in this room below you as a spectral hand appears.
What are you going to do? Just knock the spear
over. Make it look like it's just getting knocked
over, like in the fray. Hell yeah. The spear
knocks down and I guess would be like leaning
out towards Jean then, correct? Yes, I want Jean
to be able to grab it. So tip the spear. lands
down. It's 10 feet away from the cell. It lands
about 5 feet out from the cell. But Jaune might
be able to reach out and pull it by the tip.
In fact, I'll give you this. As it falls, the
banner sort of slides out towards him. This is
a really cool move and you're losing your turn
on this. So I think Jaune could reach out of
the cell, pull it by the banner. The Golden Bay
banner. His lifeline in this moment. I think
as this happens, this moment of something enters
Jaune's eyes. This gratitude. This sureness.
I think he feels like somehow, somehow, you're
watching out for him. Yeah. In fact, you know
what? He can see Magic Missile. Mage Hand. Oh,
sorry. He can see Mage Hand. Mage Hand is visible
unless you have certain feats. So, like, he would
see that kind of appear behind him. Nice. Dwargar,
no. So he would see a flick over the spear. Hell
yeah. It's so cool. He just smiles a little bit
as he's getting ready to reach down and grab
his weapon. Love it. Anything else? That is the
end of Blanche's, again, pathetic turn. Xenia
is just, I mean, she's in this point incapacitated.
She's trying to fight against the shackles, not
trying to, like, say anything, just sort of,
like, trying to scoot as far as she can up against
the wall, trying to get away from the carnage.
Top of the round. Let's do a couple turns in
this round, gentlemen. Trying to have some fun.
First things first. Diva Luma's up. Diva, Diva,
Diva. Who are we going to hit? We've at least
got padding for the time being. Right. Let's
go for Margus, my first hit. Margus looks pretty
injured. D .Va likes to finish the job she starts.
She turns towards them and just kicks out again.
Poison Blade. Two on the die. It's going to miss.
Margus, boom, parries the blade with a fist.
You know, grabs the leg, throws it aside. This
is brawling. This is what they know how to do.
Okay, next attack's going to go, screw it, you
know what, on Margus. No, that is a maybe. That
is an exact hit. Oh, God. Margus. Unarmored.
So, you know, it's one of those things. I have
so many dice. Everyone has different damage dice,
and it's making me very sad. Okay. The blade.
Yo, cool. One gets parried, thrown around. But
before Margus can even react, he even just spins.
who drops one foot down. She's going to do a
second kick. Another, maybe another bladed heel
comes off the other foot in one swift motion.
And the second blade catches Margus just slicing
across their chest. Black Vein's coming into
up here. And you see Margus's eyes sort of bulge.
You see they roll back into the white and Margus
falls unconscious and dying. But she does not
step on their face. You are out of the podcast.
Come on, man. Groan. One down. Divulma turns
around to the duergar beyond them towards you.
How long can you hold against her carnage? Chester,
you're up. Chester? Yeah, he's going to do what
he does. All right. All right. He ain't going
to do shit with a natural one, though. Holy crap.
That's not excellent. It's not excellent. Nope.
I'm gonna use my Legendary Action now to end
this with a bang. I'm gonna use Vanishing Escape
again. Once again, he looks at you, spins around,
boom, a sudden flash of light. The Duergar are
gonna take some damage as this dazzling sort
of pyrotechnous blade just rips into them. They
both take... These are gonna look pretty bad
right now as the... Lights sort of fade around
them. They're wounded. They're sort of barely
standing, still clutching their weapons, still
holding strong. But Diva Luma is gone. Downstairs.
In this moment, because this is fun, Harlan sees
the pig man. Before him, we're seeing his peeve.
He's like, hey, come on. Hop into the pig pen.
Want a mud wrestle? Yeah! Into the trough. Just
doing like all pig man things. And Harlan just.
Xenia is prone. So I believe this is allowable.
Turbo is up high enough. This should be fine.
So Harlan actually turns to the Dwargar beside
him. and just full shoves him. Honestly, I'm
not even going to resist it because Dwargar is,
like, I think even this Madden state understands
that, like, Harlan is boss, you know? You know
these things when they go mad. They attack, like,
who they see as an enemy first and anyone else
later. So there's a part of their consciousness
that still remains. And, like, these prisoners,
these people in the cell who they're guarding
but who also were apparently, you know, committing
some kind of crimes would be to these silent
verse officers the enemy. where they wouldn't
attack each other, not at least until the end.
So the way this poison's worked before, it seems
like they might kill each other, but not right
now. In this moment, Harlan shoves the duergar
out of the way. He goes kind of stepping backwards
as Harlan turns towards the pig man. I'll show
you. I'll show you, pig! And Harlan begins to
grow. Oh, no. What? As he begins to grow and
grow and suddenly towering before the cell is
a 10 -foot dark dwarf who moves in to strike
out. And we'll call it there.