toss a coin to your editor. Toss a coin to your
DM. It costs us a couple of bucks to run this
thing. If you feel like we earned a tip, visit
us on ko -fi .com slash fancypants. Orin is not
here again. Where'd that guy go? What you doing?
What am I doing? Where is he? Where'd Orin go?
He's not here. Why? Because we got a big old
fight to get to. Get Orin out of here. Orin,
we'll talk about you later. I don't know how
much I trust him anymore. He's bailed like multiple
times now. We don't need an update. The update
is the fight. We're going to roll for initiative.
We're getting to the final fight of this arc.
You guys ready? Yeah, I'm kind of nervous. I'm
so nervous. I'm going to puke. Let's go. It's
pretty wild. Yeah, I'm afraid of messing up Zebulon
somehow. First things first. That's a fun sound.
I like this one. Jules. Yes. What is the first
thing that goes through your mind in this moment
as a skeletal glowing Zebulon appears before
you? I don't think he cares so much about how
this is happening. I think he immediately feels
a sense of comfort. and there's kind of a little
smirk in the corner of his mouth. I like to imagine
maybe a blue glow from your lute. Oh, of course.
Hell yeah. Crispin, you don't have a personal
connection to Zebulon, but I imagine there's
some sort of emotion stirring in here. This was
a failure for you, a deep failure when he died.
Do you feel any sort of comfort like this? Well,
I mean... There's happiness to see him back,
you know, in whatever form. But it's sort of
the same. At the same time, it's a pang of sadness
remembering the failure. Jules smiles. Crispin
watches on with his big weird frog eyes. Zebulon
standing at the forefront. Arhalon coming towards
him. I need you all to finally roll for initiative.
All righty. Oh, baby. Oh, baby. We also have
to do Zebulon's level 5 hit points. Well, this
is shop talk. I'll take up these initiative rolls.
Oh, no, Zebulon. Why'd you roll single digits?
Oh, no. Because, duh. Oh, jeez. Well, good thing
he's got a plus 4, so... Get him out of the way.
That's a 10 for Zebulon. Ouch. Jules got a 16.
Dan's got a 22. And 19 for Crispin. All right,
and I have rolled my initiatives. A couple of
notes to start this battle off. Zebulon, the
only items you have access to now are the two
sabers in your hands, essentially an extension
of your new form. Though you wear no armor, your
armor class will remain as it already was. We'll
just call it natural armor. No reason to get
complicated with it. I've placed Arhalon at the
center of this room, about halfway between Zavar
and Jules. Zebulon stands before him, guarding
Jules. Dance is on Jules' right, and a giant
toad is on his left. Crispin, your rage is ongoing,
fueled by the powers that emanate from that fossil
beside you. It screams into you, screams the
built -up pain of frozen eons. There are words
there, amidst a cacophony of roaring madness.
In this place, your chances of a spiritual intervention
with your Mazir Drakon feat are doubled. Nice.
Bless is active on all of you, so long as Jules
maintains concentration. Everybody but Zebulon,
right? Everyone but Zebulon. Sorry, yeah. Dance
has used one ki point. She has four left. And
lastly, I need the pick of Minor Destiny for
Arhalon. Ooh. A DC -30. Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. No, you have to ask for my permission.
What? That is my pick of Minor Destiny. I mean,
I can just attack. I just attack all you guys.
Hey, if it's your pick, perhaps it'll serve you
well. Because based on what you did last time
we were in this room, last time you were about
to start this fight, this could either get real
scary or be a complete joke. The final battle.
Because a DC -30 is no joke. and I never expected
to be able to sway this combat. That was a DC.
I only had a plus 10 from your recent level up.
That is crazy. I think that's my highest roll
ever in my career of playing D &D. What a roll.
Like, just before the madness had fully taken
hold of Arhalon, you managed to change everything.
You gave him a split target for this rage. So,
every turn, it's going to be heads for Jules,
tails for Zavar. He will target and attack whoever
I roll on. And decide now, his head's the maker's
mark or his tail's the maker's mark? Head's the
maker's mark. Okay. Except for this first one,
right? Because he's already charging it. No.
This scene with Zebulon gave him pause in the
moment. I think in this moment, he's like resetting.
Yeah. Awesome. I'm going to flip this every round.
But now, Zebulon, as you look towards your brother,
you realize that you have come seconds too late
to change his mind any further than that. That
final shred of reason. was Arhalon's last, and
this effect, whatever's happened to him, has
absolutely overwhelmed his mind, flooded it.
His eyes burn with a ferocious rage, and they
do not see you. They glare down at you with only
a snarling hatred. Just empty, cold. Can you
save him? Gonna try. Then let's get started.
I should note the fact that I have swapped my
die for the evening. The... captains, full metal
die, zoobeards, gold vein. They have not been
serving me faithfully lately, so they will be
getting a break. So I've come back. My old Norse
foundry sapphire die, given to me by my wife
for Christmas a couple years ago. Old veteran
die, scarred from many a battle. And from getting
dropped on the floor. That too. The reason I'm
bringing this up is I rolled my initiative with
these dice. Oh no. And old Zavar got a natural
20. Whoa. So I'll be going first in this fight.
That's not great. No, it's not. Though it's going
to be a little different than you might think
because all that's going to happen here. Yes.
Yeah. We still need to roll HP. Oh shit. That's
going to be my notes part. We'll just skip that.
Let's roll HP. All right. Let's roll HP quickly.
Will the whisper be loud enough to be picked
up? I hope so. All right. Yeah, we're good. Okay.
All right. So we started off with 28 at level
four. And it's a D8. Yep. I believe you have
no con modifier. It's plus zero. Yeah, definitely
not. Okay. So it'll be straight. Oh, yeah. I'm
rolling too. What am I? D8. I got a six. Got
a five. All right. I'll take six. Six is pretty
good. So that gives you a 34. Not bad, Zebulon.
I wish you forgot. Like I did. Speaking of HP,
by the way, what you're going to see as I cast
False Life at third level, I'm just going to
tell you, is Zavar sees all this, and his smile
sort of grows, sort of taking in Zebulon, taking
in everything, this strange, magical phenomenon.
He's thrilled. He's into it. Like he sort of
flexes and you watch as his body, his undead
body begins to like push itself further than
a living body can. This sort of soft light glowing
through like veins that kind of appear down his
skin. His muscles sort of like start bulking.
His skin getting like thicker, his pale, gross
skin. And I'm going to be giving myself essentially
a bunch of temporary hit points. Cool, cool,
cool. That's awesome. I love this. So that is,
I'm not going to tell you how many. Yeah, you
know what? I'm going in. All right. Zavar's going
to run across the room. The first one to act,
his, like, blood is taking over. You see he flexes.
His skin thickens. Everyone else is sort of taken
in by Zebulon at this sort of moment. Arhuan's
frozen. You guys are watching in awe. Zavar's
already moving, completely unfazed. I'm going
to charge right up to old Toadie Dubois. I'm
going to make some attacks. Oh, that's not bad
at all. Ooh, I don't know. We'll lay up. Well,
a 23 hit. Mm -hmm. Oh, it will? Oh, cool. Yeah.
Good. Okay. Good for me. Okay, I see how this
is going to go. Already with the sass. Yeah,
the giant toad was a bad choice. That's not bad.
Only seven points of damage, actually. Okay,
yeah, that's not bad. Yeah, but I need a constitution
saving throw, and you don't want to fail it.
This claw rakes into your toad flesh, just cutting
through, and as it does, like, something with
it, something just kind of... seeps into you.
You can feel your blood sort of thickening around
it, and it's spreading fast. I've got the Toad's
stats, so it's only a plus one for Khan. You've
also got Bless. Bless on saves, yep. That's so
good. And I'm going to hand in a button. Oh,
I'll take it. I really don't want Toad to go
down this fast. Okay. Crit. First roll, crit.
Fuck yeah. First roll crit. Okay. Crit my little
toad. That you were in pants? Is the toad wearing
pants? That's cute as fuck. Didn't need the...
I mean, that kind of sucks. I just gave the button
for that. But, you know, I don't regret it. I
don't regret it. Hey, I'll tell you what. You
are not paralyzed. Oh, my God. And so I will
not be auto -critting you with all my attacks
this time. Yeah, okay. God. That was, yeah, I
definitely don't regret the button. Holy shit.
Yeah. And I love these. I think I've mentioned
it before, but the die Rochelle gave me says,
yeet, yeet, I'm a 20. Yeet, yeet, yeet. I'm dabbing
over here. That's dance. What does it look like
when a giant toad dabs, you think? Probably pretty
hilarious. That's dance. Oh, God. I mean, she's
going in. On whom? Remind you, there's two goals.
ghouls, two ghoul ghouls, and Arhalon, who's
not sure what the hell's going on right now.
And this weird skeleton guy appeared in front
of her. She probably wants to kick his ass. Zebulon
looks over his shoulder. Don't worry, guys. Leave
Arhalon to me. Holy shit. Holy hell. I mean,
yeah, she's going to go for Zavar. He made the
first move in that direction. And she can actually
slide up. five feet over if you want, and be,
like, right next to Crispin. Or she can loop
around if she wants to get flanking, but that's
going to put her right next to the other ghoul
as well. Yeah, no, she's going to stay behind
Zebulon there. Okay. She slides up next to us
so we get a diagonal on it right next to the
big old toad. Yes. Hell yeah. And she's going
in. Damn it. First one's only an eight. Will
not hit. Not hit. And she's going in for attack
number two. 15. That hits. All right. Okay. It's
not terrible. He's not armor. We can do this.
He's not armor. He's like a filthy black robe.
All right. So it's 1d4 plus 3. That's cool. Cracked?
Yeah. Yeah. It's like that. I've never seen a
land like that. How's a d4 crack? That's wild.
Well, it's one of those oblong d4s. Yeah. Looks
like a diamond. And it was resting on... The
point was up. Yeah, I mean, I think that's still
the same. Yeah, because it has an equal chance
of landing that way on either of those four numbers.
Well, if that's the case, then that's max damage,
so that's seven. Okay. Which is not the greatest,
but... So he just slams in, and maybe that thickening
of his muscles kind of drops down a little bit.
It's like this sort of almost self -imposed armor,
this weirdness in his body is starting to kind
of vent out, but... Okay, and she's also going
to use a ki point. Oh, yeah, we're burning him.
All right, hell yeah. I mean, she knows he's
the one that's got to go down as fast as possible.
First hit, then second. Undead, freak, die. Hits
him again. And that's a 17 to hit. That will
hit. And that's only a four. Max damage, first
one. Minimum damage, second. One on the die.
Hell yeah, just two good jabs on Zavar. Still
standing strong. His smile takes her in. His
eyes flicker over to you, Jules. And that's going
to be Crispin Dupto. All right. I've been waiting
for this. Do it. That was the sound. That was
not. Of Crispin biting at Zavar. Okay. Okay.
Plus four to hit. Oh, no. Well, I don't guess
we don't know yet. 13. Oh. 13? You think a 13's
going to hit this boss? You think a 13's going
to hit him exactly? Because you're right. Okay,
nice. All right, that's great. By the way, your
Bless also works on attack rolls, too. Oh, how
do I always forget that? So you get the d4 on
that, too. But we know a 13 hits now. Oh, my
goodness, and I used Zebulon's die. That's why
I rolled single digits. Yikes. Okay, I'm all...
All right, there's my Bless die to remind me
that I'm blessed. Okay, wow, great, a hit. So
that is a d10 plus two piercing damage. D10,
not bad. Yeah, right? So that's nine piercing
damage plus one d10 poison damage. Whoa. Nine
poison damage, and, sir, you are grappled. Toads
do not mess around. Okay. Yeah. All right, so
my movement speed is now effectively zero. Your
tongue is wrapped around him. Yeah, exactly.
That is so horrifying for Crispin. This is the
grossest dude. Yeah. Just the grossest dude.
Giant Toads probably aren't super not gross either,
I guess. This is the grossest fight. I'm a little
grossed out by Toads. That is going to be. That's
your turn, right? That is going to be Crispin's
turn. Solid turn. Jules, you're up. Okay. So
does Zebulon still currently have that Bardic
Inspiration? Like actual, like mechanically?
No. I don't remember. Okay. Yeah, I can't do
that. It goes away with it now. I had to check
because Jules is going to, for old time's sake.
Hell yeah. For old time's sake, he's going to
give some Bardic Inspiration to Zeb. Oh, that's
awesome. The old one -two punch. We're going
to be nostalgic for like 30 episodes to go of
our own show. Dude, right? Well, it's been so
long. It's been a while. All right, so I think,
yeah, Jules is going to move up next to Zeb.
And just for some good flavor, I feel like he
just comes right up to Zeb and kind of does a
quick little stance and looks over Zeb's way,
gives him a little nod, then looks forward and
casts Dissonant Whispers on that ghoul that's
a little in front of him. Oh, the one right by
Round Stuff. Yes. Yeah, I mean, that makes the
track so well. This thing's kind of standing,
almost threatening over round stuff. It's not
going to attack her, but I mean, I'm sure your
eyes were on that. Yep. Hell yeah. Cool. It's
a wisdom save. Ooh, it's middling. It's middling.
Let me see what I got here for wisdom bonus.
Nothing. That's a 12. No. Ooh, okay, I failed.
You failed that one. All right, so you take 3d6
psychic damage, and you immediately have to use
your reaction move as far as your speed allows.
That's really good. Damn. Three D6s and only
eight psychic damage. That's unfortunate. Still,
that's not bad. Getting the bad ones out of the
way. Mist covers him. He starts screaming. He
pulls away from round stuff, and I guess what
I'm going to do is he's going to start running,
and he goes around a corner up into the very
cell. A little cave tunnel leads to the cell
Arholon came from because that's kind of where
I can go the farthest. He's going to go all the
way to the end of it. And where you can't even
see him, you hear his foot sort of sliding away.
Roundstuff, who's sort of now no one near her,
just kind of stands up finally and just begins
to cheer like, yes, yes, you can do it. Just
calling out towards you, watching you all moving
in. Holy shit. This is awesome. And now, ladies
and gentlemen, welcome to the stage back again
on tour. All right. Cheers, Zeb. Here's one more.
Holy shit. What can you do? What can fifth level
Zebulon do? Geez. All right. Yeah, Zebulon's
going to do what Zebulon do. He's going to move
up and use his swashbuckler archetype, his rakish
audacity. He will be... Solo, 1v1, in the middle
of the map, with his brother Arhalon. Man, I've
been, like, thinking about this all week. Like,
thinking about what he's going to say to Arhalon.
He can't even... I can't even think of it. And
now as you move up, he doesn't see you. His eyes
don't see you. He just snarls in the direction
of fire billowing out from somewhere in his throat.
He's not humanoid anymore. He's a monster. He's
lost. All right, he's going to take a swing.
Holy shit. Tell me you're sorry. Ooh, 16 plus
eight. That will hit. Good old Zebulon. Natural
one on the second attack. Good old Zebulon. All
right, that's fine. I get my 1d8 plus five and
my 3d6 sneak attack damage. Okay. Max damage,
eight plus five, 13. That's a lot without even
sneak attack. And I'm rolling the bone D6 that
I got from Hooli Forge. He mentioned our discord.
He was like, hey, now that Zebulon's bones, you
can roll bones. It's so good. Oh, what? 14. You
rolled some bones. You rolled some bones. That's
solid. Holy crap. That is a chunk out of Arhalon.
Rolling bones. Damn. So you go in sliding with
your saber and like slash out. I think he tries
to move with his own like great sword, but his
strength is nothing to your speed. As you like
find an opening and exploit it, just like slashing
him hard. And then you step on a horseshoe and
you miss the next one. Like an idiot. I think
he's going to stay there. I think he's going
to end his turn there. Okay. All right. That's
me again. That ghoul that you chased away appears
again around the corner. He's going to use his
full... I can't get near anybody. I just need
my full action to just charge as much as I can.
He's going to move up right between sort of Jules
and Dance and Zavar, just running right into
the front line. Does Zebulon get an AOL for that?
You son of a gun. You son of a gun. Yeah, you
do. You do. I mean, I know where I'm going. I'm
going to tell you. Zebulon crit, baby. No. Zebulon
crit. Welcome back, Zebulon. This can't be. This
cannot be. So that's 2d8 plus 5 then? Oh my.
No. 4. And 4. 13 points of damage. Holy shit.
This ghoul comes sliding out, like, already kind
of hurt, just, like, running, charging. It's
a big, long ton, sort of, lolling behind it.
Is it just, like, I mean, like, I can't get to
the front line if I go, unless I go around you,
and I want to get the guy that got me. So, yeah,
that's what I'm doing. So he swings, he just
moves past you, and, like, even though you're
locked in combo with Arhalon, where you had this
sort of moment, you, like, you know, cut his
blade away, you spin around, you slash out this
ghoul, and you just tear a huge, like, chunk
of flesh sort of off of it. Like, it's, maybe
it's headed, like, barely hanging on. This thing
is barely... If that makes sense. He doesn't
even break eye contact with Argon. Holy shit.
Watch out, ghouls. This is a good Zebulon showing.
My gosh. Yeah, Zebulon's rolling well. Wow. Well,
mostly well. Well, okay then. Let's see if Crisp
can do the same. I'm going to move right up on
old Toadie Dubois again. This ghoul's attacking
you. The non -almost undead ghoul. I don't know
what Toad's HP is. Or AC is, but is it more than
12? 12 hits. 12 hits? Oh, baby. Toad's a glass
cannon. Toad's a glass cannon. Oh, no. Eight
points of damage. Okay. And a constitution saving
throw. Oh, no. Yeah, my claws, this thing's claws
also rake into you and you feel the same thing.
These ghouls, I mean, Zavar's just one of them,
but stronger. That same paralytic effect starts
to enter your blood. You want to spend a button
on it again? Give me all your buttons. No, because
I've got my bless. Oh, it's true. It's true.
Ten on the die. Plus four. Fourteen. Fourteen
passes. Nice. Oh, yeah. And I'm sorry, you said
that was eight damage? Eight damage, yes. Not
nothing. Not nothing. Holding against that paralysis,
though. Here's the big one. The question is how
I'm going to handle it, no matter who I choose.
I got this guy in my way now. So it's going to
be like more of a choice thing. And I'll play
it out as I go. Pick a destiny. I'm going to
do it right here in front of you guys. You can
use the dice tray if you want. Yes. You tell
me what I get. That's tails. Tails is Zavar.
Right? Yes. I'm pretty sure that's what you said.
Okay. Okay. How I'm going to handle this is Arhalon
has two attacks. I'll strike out a Zeb with one
and move past and hit Zavar with the other. So,
like, he's just, like, his eyes are sort of swerving.
And he kind of, like, finally starts to focus.
And he sees you. Finally sees something. He goes
to attack. And that horseshoe he tripped on earlier
lands under his own feet. As he also rolls a
natural one. Nice. Nice. And completely misses,
so he goes to swing at you, Zebulon, and you
just weave, like, and you feel the strength of
the swipe. Your brother is strong, both hands
on his weapon, his muscles, like, flexing as
hard as they can to, like, maintain this, and
yet you just weave under against strength versus
speed. Zebulon leans back, Matrix style. Holy
shit. And as he kind of, like, comes out of the
swing, he almost, like, his eyes see behind you
as you sort of duck down, see Zavar, and he's
sort of snarling. Charges towards the target.
I cannot believe I'm doing this to my own guy.
This is horrifying for me. Here we go. And he
nails Zavar with a 17 on the die. Oh, my God.
This is outrageous. Yeah, Arhalan's going to
hit Zavar, I feel like, every time. Dude, I'm
going to be the saddest fellow this entire fight.
It's poetic. It's very poetic. Oh. Oh. Okay.
Let's do my damage here. Okay. Good, good swipe
on Zavar. You see Arlon swings in and just slides
out. Zavar kind of turns around almost surprised
like, what did you do? Like screams out to you,
Jules, as like his jaw is clipped and almost
like the flesh is like ripped open. His mouth
sort of hanging, lolling, screeching, groaning
as Arlon's great sword takes him hard. As he
says this, Jules gives him a wink. Oh, now it's
my turn. All right, Zavar, that really sucked.
Zavar looks at you, his jaw, like, hanging limp.
Let me, before I get caught, let me just make
sure I see something. Okay, it's a flavor hang,
because I'm not going to get myself, I'm using
somatic components here, and I don't give a shit,
or verbal components here, and I don't give a
shit. It's a flavor hang. You can still talk.
I'm not going to hold myself accountable by flavor.
He looks over at you, Jules, and you can see
he's kind of, begins to laugh, and you see his
hand begins to glow this, like, Same sort of
violet light you saw, like, you know, flooding
into that sort of ritual circle around round
stuff. And he just takes his hand and plunges
it down into the earth beneath him. I need dance.
Hang on. Ten feet? It is ten feet. I need Jules,
dance, and Crispin, and Zebulon to all make constitution
saving throws. Great. Dude, we're all going to
go prone. Fuck. I'm debating using my other button
for Crispin. I really... I've got a lot of eggs
in this basket. Here's my second and final button.
Okay. I really need this scheme to work. All
right, I'm going to roll Crispin's 2 first. 15
plus 4. I feel pretty good about that. No. Zebulon's.
That will pass. Oh, my God. Zebulon crit his
pants again. What is that? Dude. Dude. Guy is
not going down tonight. This is outrageous. Unfair.
I didn't even have to use my bardic. I was holding
the bardic, expecting to use it. Oh, my God.
Dude, it's just like Zeb to come back and just
crit all over the room that everybody's in. I'm
out of buttons, though. I'm out of buttons, though,
so let's see what happens. Unbelievable. I know.
I've got one button left, and I'm trying to figure
out who to use it on. I feel like, son of a bitch,
I feel like I need to use my button on dance.
If we can't get them down, there's no saving
round stuff. Jewels can't do much in that regard.
And he's also got a bonus for con, too. Okay,
sure. So she's better off with it, maybe. Yeah.
Yeah, with zero bonus. Yeah. All right. Take
my one and only button. Ooh, gladly. This economy
is in shambles. Oh, I'm feeling pretty good about
it. We're in a boss fight with no buttons. With
no more buttons. How does that work? The rich
get richer. Whoa. What are you rolling here,
Kim? I'm nervous. I'm nervous. Across the table.
I'm nervous about them bites. I miss Chester.
That's a five plus three. Eight. And that's for
dance? Yep. No. I know. What's Jules got for
me? Everyone's so close together. Big happy family
all around Papa Zavar. I didn't like that. Jules
got a 14. Saves exactly. Wow. Holy shit. Wow.
Shit. Wow. Okay. Dance takes 14 necrotic damage.
Whoa. Mama. Zebulon and Crispin all take seven.
Wow. Jesus Christ. And so you basically see that
same light kind of filters in the ground and
almost like you feel something, like tendrils
like reach up from the ground into you, just
tearing into you. And like your bodies begin
to sort of like wither and shrink. Your muscles
are atrophying. And as this is happening, as
like this light is draining you, you watch Zavar's
jaw just come back. All the scars of battle sort
of heal. It's of ours almost fully healed. Well,
that's not cool. Sorry, did you say eight? Yes.
Seven. Seven damage to you guys. And I healed
a butt ton. A little spell called Wither and
Bloom. Cast at third level. Cool. Very cool.
Great. Love that. It was a good time. Oh, but
that was my action. Oh, I forgot a thing. Oh,
well. I'll remember it this turn. That's going
to be dance. And actually, I need dance to make
a con save. Again. The special ability Zavar
has that I've been forgetting about, which is
actually, weirdly enough, stench. I was just
about to say, we still haven't figured out yet
what this is. Within five feet of Zavar, this
horrible stench kind of comes off of him that
like actually, it's so overpowering. It's like
now that she's punched him and hit him and as
he's kind of like healing from all this, it like
releases this like odor that like strikes at
her while she's within five feet of him. Gross.
And it's threatening to overpower her, sicken
her. Oh, jeez. Oh, come on. Yeah. 17. She's fine.
She feels like bile rising and just pushes it
down. You monster. Not yet. It just starts to
go on and again. What are you doing? What are
you doing? It's Dance's turn. All right. Attack
number one from Dance. She curled her pants,
too. Oh, nice. unfair. How? So, huh? I mean,
she has to combat the stench of Zavar. Where's
my crit? Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen
of America, where is my crit? I was about to
say, I was about to say we're rolling twice as
many characters as you, but we're not. We're
rolling the same amount. Yeah. All right. A lot
of guys. I'm going to crit on Zavar as Arhalot.
I'm going to leave the room. That'd be great.
I'm here for that. Attack number two. Okay. That's
16 to hit. That will hit. Cool. 10 points of
damage. Hell yeah, and you add your modifier
twice for the two different hits. 13. Hell yeah.
And she's going to spend another ki point. Okay.
She just sees me heal in front of her, and she
is not going to let that slide. No. Her determination
not breaking. She's just going to go in again.
Pummel him. And that is three used, correct?
Two left? Two left. Okay. And that's a 23 to
hit. That's going to hit. These rules are on
fire tonight. And that's an additional six damage.
Not bad. Already just taking him down again after
that massive heal. But can he do it again? Crispin,
what do you think? Crispin thinks, nope. You
know, I think, especially with your mouth wide
open for this gulp, you're rolling a con save.
Against stench. Oh, God. Yeah. All right. I'm
all out of buttons, so. I won't give you disadvantage
because you're literally licking him, but I'm
not that mean. Yeah. All right. I've just got
my bless. 15 on the die, which I think is fine.
Plus two from the bless. You're fine. All right.
Your stomach doesn't churn at all as you lick
this gross ghoul man. Ghast, actually, you might
call him. He's smart. That's a smart move, I
guess. Anyway, go on. All right. Do your stupid
attack. Yeah, Kristen's going to make another
bite attack. And I really hope this one hits.
While I am grappled, I still am fully able to
sort of dodge and move around. So it does not
give you advantage of any sort unless I am restrained.
All right, making my bite attack. Bite me. 13,
I think that already hits, plus the 4 for Bless.
Yeah, it hits. Okay. So congratulations, sir.
You have been swallowed. What? Wait, hang on.
Do I have a save for that? I just get swallowed?
The save was the bite attack. Oh, my God. So,
yeah. So after I make the bite attack and the
target is grappled, next thing is swallow the
target. Oh, the toad. The toad makes one bite
attack against a medium or smaller creature that
it is grappling. If the attack hits, the target
is swallowed. And the grapple ends. The swallow
target is blinded and restrained. It has total
cover against attacks and other effects outside
of the toad. And it takes 3d6 acid damage at
the start of each of the toad's turns. What?
So what's not super clear here is do I get the
bite damage or not? Let me look at your sheet
real fast. Okay. Okay, yeah, you get your full
damage. Awesome. So that's the D10 plus 2 and
the D10 poison damage. This is insanity. Who
let a toad in the field? There's a button. Flashback.
It didn't happen. Doesn't work for me. No. That
was last time. So that's 11 for the bite. Oh,
my cool bad guy. Oh, wait. I'm an idiot. I don't
take poison damage. I'm undead. Oh. Damn. Okay,
so then take away that three that I was just
about to roll, and I don't remember what it was
last time. So I got some poisoners last time.
Ah, whatever. It's what it is. Damn. Hopefully
you take acid damage because swallowed. And as
a bonus action, Crispin is going to use his feat,
Combat Wild Shape, to gain 1d8 HP. Oh, shoot.
Ooh, per level of the spell slot that I burn.
Yeah, all right. I'm going to burn a second -level
spell slot, I think. Damn, Mr. Totendutank over
here. For 2d8. Getting that health back. Of course,
the second one was just a 1. All right, back
up to 24, though, so that's not too bad. Bummed
about burning a second -level spell slot that
I'm probably going to need later. You now feel
the worst thing ever in your stomach. Man, that
was such a bad move. Just writhing around in
there. It's just so gross and awful, and you
should feel bad about it. That's going to be
Jules. All right. Jules is close enough to dance
to reach over and touch her, right? Absolutely,
yeah. Cool. He's going to cast level three Cure
Wounds. Oh, my gosh. Which is 3d8 plus four.
Holy shit. Party of superheroes. Yeah, they got
this ghoul kind of facing her down. Zavar's just
gone. He's in a toad now. Yeah. I mean, she's
at six right now. Damn. Yeah. Damn. Almost got
her. So that's 15 points. Okay. What if I roll
Zavar again? Do I have to cut him out of your
cold, dead, toed stomach? I mean, I assumed that
he would go after one of the ghouls. No, it's
either Zavar or Jules. Oh, my God. His target
was whoever he blames for Zebulon's death. And
in that moment, you made it split between two
people. He doesn't blame those ghouls. They don't
do shit. So he's just not going to attack Zebulon
either the whole time? He already attacked Zebulon.
If you're in his way, he will. All right. Hmm.
All right. And then as a bonus action. Give me
some wiggle room here, man. Now wait just a damn
minute. Don't you make me drink that. Yeah, you
got to take a sip. You got to take a sip. I can't
believe you're really doing this. Yeah, I'm doing
it. Fine. Fine. Really? Fine. I love that he's
now got two partial bottles sitting over there.
You're up a little bit soon. Okay. Okay. And
then as a bonus action, Jules is going to cast
Bardic Inspiration onto Dance. Hell yeah. Oh
my gosh. This team is so good at working together.
You just grab Dance, you heal her, and she kind
of turns back to you, gives you like a nod, and
just like... smiling as her own body gets reinvigorated.
Damn. And then Luke sort of glows. She gets even
more powered up. Probably turns into this ghoul
next to her. And that's going to be Zebulon.
I didn't realize this. Yeah. But Bardic Inspiration,
now that I'm fifth level, is 1d8 instead of 1d6.
Whoa. Yeah. Good to know. I'm glad we haven't
used that yet. All right. Let me trade my reminder
die in here. You guys are just cheating. Making
shit up. All right, Zebulon. What shit are you
going to make up now? All right. Jeez. Zebulon.
Oh, this is great. Zebulon doesn't have to move
at all. Nice. Which means that he's going to,
as a bonus action, use steady aim. Stop it. So
he gets advantage on the first roll. So that.
Yeah. Yeah. And probably, I mean, we don't really
double up. Oh, no, it's not flanking yet. Shit.
That's fine. All right. That's a goal. Advantage
on the first roll. I'm guessing that 15 plus
8 hits. Yeah, it hits. Okay. Let's, no, I'll
do the second attack first, and then we'll resolve
damage. You crit. I'm going to hit. You. Yeah,
right. 21. That's going to hit. All righty. Nice.
Going for old Arhalon again? Yes, yes. Sorry,
I didn't say that. But yeah. He's trying to get
by you, and you just turn around and start slashing
at him again. Don't ignore me, Arhalon. I told
you to say that you're sorry. And you hear him
just... Zebulon! But not at you. Towards them.
Zebulon! Let's see. Sword damage, that's 12.
I will say right now, with Zavar in the stomach,
I'm going to attack Jules. He doesn't see Zavar.
I'm going to attack Jules. Okay, so 2d8 plus
5 times 2. I'm at 23 right now, and I still have
to roll 3d6 for sneak attack damage. Okay. Wow.
1, 1, 2. It was possible for you to drop Arhalon
right there, but you didn't. That second sneak
attack, he almost shrugs it off. He's like, just...
Not looking towards you. He's almost moving away.
I think you're surprised to see how little he's
acknowledging it. What the fuck do you want?
Nope, sorry. Cut. You're going to have to start
that over. I was going to have him move, but
then I remember because of the... No, it's staying.
Okay, that's fine. That's the ghoul's turn. Don't
forget, too, you can use your Bardic Inspiration
on attack rolls. And if you do, he has to make
a DC save, a con save. Yes. In order... And then,
or else he takes thunder damage equal to the
bar of consideration. Oh, that's right. So that's
an additional d8 of damage potentially. Yeah.
Oh, shit. Right. The extra damage would have
made a difference probably, maybe. Yeah, I just
didn't even think of it because I thought it
was going to hit. Magoole all over Jules. Jules,
Jules. Jules, this ghoul hits. Wait, when did
he get back? Like two turns ago. Yeah, he had
to use an entire turn so he couldn't attack,
but now he can finally actually do something.
I haven't looked at the map. I should probably
look at the map. He got only six damage. Okay.
But he had a con save. It's not the worst. Oh,
holy shit. I had a con save. Make the con save,
Jules. Yeah, apparently. David looks like he's
about to kill me. He looks like genuinely he
looks like he's about to kill Jules. I'm not
okay with this. Make a con save. I'm not okay
with this. Dude, yeah, Jules needs to get back.
Fucking shit. There's no back to go to. Just
up against the wall behind Dan's. Hang on, I'm
trying to see if I have anything that could help
this situation. Boom, you inspirations yourself.
I considered it. Yeah, it's just going to be
a... Shit. It's just going to be a straight plus
one. Okay. I don't like the way your face looks
right now, dude. No, me neither. 16. As his claws
rake into you, this thickness entering your blood,
you grit your teeth, you look up, you see Arhalon's
eyes burning or on you, locked on you. He's about
to move, and as this paralytic sensation runs
through your body, you grit your teeth and you
push it out. You are not paralyzed, so I am not
going to auto -crit you. When Arhalon walks over
there. Oh, yeah. That would have been horrifying.
That would have been game over. I was pretty
sure you were going to die. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Dude, the only time I've ever seen that face
on you. Yeah. Yeah. Is once I've died. I had
to go for it, but I saw, like, I, okay. Sorry.
Before that happens, let me toad the toad with
my ghoul. I miss. All right. Crispin, you just
dodged my toad's claw. It's like three on the
die. I don't care what you do. Okay, sweet. It's
going to miss. Thank goodness. Damn. Okay. Okay.
That's Arhalon. I need to go for the target set.
Once he's down, then this pesky thing, the skeletal
half dragon, whatever this thing is, that can
fall as well. Everyone will fall eventually to
the blood rage. But first, it has to be you,
Jules. It has to be you. So I'm going for an
attack. 17 to hit. Yeah, that hits. Nine points
of damage. Jesus. Second attack. Oh, no. Imagine
two crits. Right. It's instant death. Yeah, it'd
be over. 14 to hit. Shit, tie goes to the attacker.
Minimum damage. Only six. Holy fuck. What was
your HP? Seven. Oh, my God. He's got one HP.
I can't believe it. Minimum damage. Wow. Two
ones! Wow. So he goes in, he strikes you once.
I'm like dizzy. I think as you stall back, his
weapon goes again. You know what? This is what
happens. Narratively, this is what happens. He
dives over towards your jewels, and his first
blade strikes at you hard. Zebulon, you can't
stop him. He's so... Angry, he's so strong, he
just pushes right past you, strikes down, and
cuts at Jules. Jules, that first one hits hard,
and you feel that second one coming at you. You
see a blade coming down. I look straight into
Arlan's eyes as it's happening. You just see,
like, a void of just pure hatred there, just
seething hatred. And then there's stone. bounces
off of his head, smacking him in the crown. His
weapon goes wide, and you turn around to see
Miskin peeping out of the hole, waiting for his
moment! Oh my god. So the weapon strikes you
and cuts only a glancing blow, essentially, where
it would have been bad. Holy fuck. Miskin just
shoots you a thumbs up. He's watching on, terrified.
It was his one thing, just throw that rock, pick
that moment. Holy shit. Oh my god. Top of the
round. Blinded and restrained, and yet I see
no reason, looking over the spell, why I cannot
still use it. And so, in your stomach, Crispin,
you can feel some strange magic sort of churning.
And that same purple energy flashes out through
you, all around you. Now, I will say this. Because
you pulled him, he is no longer within 10 feet
of Jules. So this is only going to hit Dance
and Crispin. So inside the toad, you have total
cover against attacks and other effects outside
of the toad. So does that mean, does total cover
work both ways like that? I don't think this
would. affect it. It's more like normal attacks
wouldn't be able to hit anyone. This is a save
base. It's just like, it says it's a point within
range, not even a point I can see, just any point
within range. So he's just choosing right on
him. Sure. So he's basically just channeling
from himself this sort of 10 -foot aura that's
going to siphon life into him. All right, pants
people, let us know. I'm almost positive this
is totally legal. Look, I looked over it. I was
very careful about this. I'm almost positive
there's nothing wrong with it. So you said con
save from everybody but Jules? And Zebulon. It's
going to be dance and Crispin. Because I'm doing
this again. 19 on the die. Get out of here. Dance
fails. Okay. All right. That was a five. No,
sorry, a four. Three on the die plus one. Man,
that was depressing. Eight. Okay. Eight points
of damage to dance. Four points to Crispin. Not
great. Not what I wanted at all. But I'm still
going to heal a good amount. Yeah, it's like,
because now he's going to take 3d6 in Crispin's
stomach, so it's like a race. Yeah, literally,
yeah. But at least he's not burning spell slots
to do the acid damage. It's an action, probably
try to escape, right? Does it say anything about
that? The toad can only have one target swallowed
at a time. If the toad dies, a swallowed creature
is no longer restrained by it, and it can escape
from the corpse using five feet of movement,
exiting prone. Oh, so I gotta kill you to get
out? That's what it seems like. Hot dog! What
a gross... Ugh, my boss! Zafar's just screaming
from somewhere deep in the stomach. He's trying
so hard to do anything. I mean, unless there's
generic escape. I don't know. It probably takes
an action regardless, which I used mine. I need
to heal. Let's dance. She's going to continue.
Oh, no, she can't. Not on Zavar, at least. Yeah,
nope. Zavar is no longer a target. He is behind
full cover. It was that ghost ghoul that just
hit Jules right in front of her. Yeah, so she's
going for that ghoul. Is that going to be flanking,
perhaps? That's what I was just going to ask.
With Arhalon? Oh. No. He's knocking his enemy
to the ghoul. He wants Zavar, and he wants Jules.
Well, oh, yeah. Okay. All right, so. Zavar's
in the belly, so he only wants Jules now. Attack
number one. Let's do it. Eight. No. It's lolling
sort of half off head, sort of almost like bounces
out of the way on accident as she strikes out.
Isn't she blessed? Do you think that? I guess
it could. You need a four. I mean, it doesn't
do you any bad to roll it. Negative. And I'm
going to be honest here. I'm not going to use
the Bardic Inspiration because you told me I
need four. I'm supposed to use that before I
know the outcome. You can use it if you want.
I don't want to use it. My bad. It was a thought
that crossed my mind. Okay, that's my good thought.
I was being dramatic. I'm a drama queen. She
didn't hit with the first one. That's an 18 on
the second one. Cool. Don't roll another attack
against this ghoul. Just roll damage. Huh? This
ghoul is so close to death. I mean, you could
tell this. Okay. Okay. Okay. I wish you didn't
use your bonus action. If you're going to do
that, do a different ghoul. Okay. Okay. Six.
Describe it. First, fatality in the combat. Here
we go. And it wasn't even two. I mean, it's the
trademark dance going in there and just a total.
The blow is just so fast, like you can't even
make sense of it. Just a flurry of blows. And
that head that's hanging on. Like something in
anime or something. I don't know. Just... It's
a flurry of rush. I don't know anime. Is that
accurate? It's accurate. Okay, cool. It's Gomu
Gomu Gatling. And you see the head that's sort
of hanging off. The one hit just goes flying
off across the room. It's punted like a soccer
ball. And that ghoul is full dead. Do you want
to use a key point? I don't know if you actually
can do two attacks on different targets when
you use... I don't know. Let me look at what
the key point says. Well, I mean, decide if you
want to burn a key point first. Right, yeah.
I mean, it just says it allows these three features,
flurry of blows, patient defense, and step of
the wind. Yeah, I don't know if I gave it up.
I'm just going to say you can do it, because
normally you can spread your attacks up. So I'm
sure it's fine. Yeah, I couldn't see why not.
So if you want to switch it on a target, you
can. And there's still a fresh ghoul over there,
just kind of untouched so far down the bottom.
Strike it out at Crispin. It's one attack. You
know what? Fuck it. Yeah. No. No. She's going
to stay there. Okay. Arhalon's still there. Everybody's
right in that group. I don't want to move her.
Yep. I don't think she should move. Hell yeah.
That's fair. Yeah, save the key point. Crispin
Dubois. All right. Do rivet. Start of Giant Toad's
turn. 3d6 acid damage. Gross. Come on with this.
I really don't want to use Zebulon's bone die
for this. I feel like those belong to him. Sure.
So I'm just going to roll three of Crispin's
die. Ooh, six. Nine. Damn, just a one. Ten acid
damage from inside the belly of the beast. That's
pretty good. That's pretty good. He healed for
11 last time. Well, I don't know if he heals
all of it or if he heals half of it or what.
Then... Roll a con save. This guy's still in
your belly. Still gross. Oh, no, wait, never
mind. You saved on it. You don't have to roll
it anymore. Oh, okay. Forget me, I'm stupid.
Then he's going to bite the other ghoul next
to him. Oh, my gosh. He can't have two grappled
at the same time, and he can't have two swallowed
at the same time. But there's nothing that says
you can't have a swallow and a bite at the same
time. There's nothing to say it. Ooh, just a
three on the die. That's a seven. Ooh, my bless.
Eight. You also have your Bardic Inspiration.
I think that's Zebulon's Bardic Inspiration.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never mind. Okay. Sorry, Crispin.
As you sort of open Ralph to strike, Jules, you
can hear from inside just... Jules! Jules! You
need me! Look at your hand, your arm. You're
a freak. They'll imprison you. They'll never
accept you. You'll never be free. Says the one
who's imprisoned in the stomach of a damn toad.
Screaming out. Holy shit. And then I'm going
to burn a first level spell slot for a D8 of
healing. Okay. Which is what I should have done
the first time instead of stupidly wasting a
second level spell slot. All right. That's another
three back. Bananas. That's Jules. All right,
so first things first, Jules is going to cast
level 2 Cure Wounds on himself. That's a good
move. Good call. Good call. Man, Bless is broken,
huh? Bless is crazy good. All right, so that's
2d8 plus 4. Roll high. Roll them high. That's
only 12. That one looks cracked to me. That's
on the edge. That is not flat face down. It was
cracked. It's the same. It's the same. So that's
12. It's something. That's not bad at all. And
he's also going to expend his final party conspiration
on himself. And then he's going to move the fuck
away to here. Well, you're going to incur an
attack of opportunity from Arhalon. Stop it.
You with the ponytail. He's not even looking
at the map. I have my dice out. Yeah. Fuck. He's
an enemy against you. He will attack you if you
walk away. I was thinking just directly next
to him. I have my dice hanging over my thing,
like, so excited. And you're like, get in the
candy shop. And Stephen's over here like, candy
shop's closed. Damn it. No, then, yeah, Jules
is going to do everything after that. That's
a good move. You heal. You turn. And it's just
like you and Arhalot facing each other again.
Him just glaring down at you. His hands sort
of, like, twist in the grip of his sword. And
he raises it high. Before he gets to strike down
at you, it's Zebulon's turn. Come on, Zeb. Stop
ignoring me, Arhalon. If you had helped me, maybe
I'd still be alive. 19 and 16. They'll both hit.
16 is the AC. Wow. So, I mean, you know what
we're talking about here. We're talking about
2d8 plus 10 plus 3d6. Do you want me to roll?
You will definitely finish him off. Whoa. As
you say those words, something, I think, does
snap. It's not that he sees you, but maybe for
a brief instant, something deep inside him hears
you. And as his weapon sort of strays up high,
his face just turns around, his eyes looking
for you. What do you do? He runs him straight
through the gut. Holy... Shit. As soon as he
turns around. And as the strength is sort of
leaving him, as he's sort of like crumpling,
his knees go down around you. Body shaking. His
eyes sort of fix, and he sees you. And he falls.
He is lying on the cavern floor, bleeding out,
and his eyes do not see now. That will be my
ghoul. My last ghoul who's not in a stomach.
Me and Crispin. I got to get this toad out of
here. Bring it on. Another three on the die.
Dude, this ghoul cannot hit this toad. Dude,
the toad's got... I can't hit this toad. Dude,
the toad has 11 AC. Oh, my gosh. I did not expect
to still be a toad. Dude, the whole reason we
are where we are right now is because of that
toad. Yeah. Amazing. Just awful. Okay, I don't...
I think... I think I keep using Wither and Bloom.
It's my only really good spell I can get at you
with when you're in there. So let's do it again.
Wither and Bloom. Here we go. Actually, I need
you to make a con save. Dance and Crispin again.
All right, here we go. And it's a lower level
because I can't. I'm all out of three level.
Nice. Ooh, oof for Crispin. That's an oof. That
is a, yeah, crit fail. And dance. That's a 19
for dance. Okay. Dance takes three points of
damage. Crispin takes six. Wow. That was it.
Gotta go lower level and it's not. Yeah. Okay.
Right. Yeah. I mean, he's trying, he's trying
to burn this toad down. I'm just still screaming
as he's getting burned away. I mean, like, what
do you do with a corpse? You burn it with acid,
the Walter White style. I respect that. I just
like. What a fitting, horrible end for this horrible,
horrible villain. Rouse that is cheering us on.
Let's dance. All right, she's going to go to
the ghoul. Slides into old ghoul face. Attack
number one. With a 19. It's going to hit. Attack
number two. With a 19. That's going to hit. Let's
do some damage. Max. Damage. That's 14. On both?
Oh, my God. That's 14. Yeah. Still up. Whoa.
All right. That was unexpected. All right. Well,
then, another key point time, then. Holy moly.
And that's a 21. It's going to hit. Five. Still
up. but barely, just like quick pummeling. It's
like trying so hard to save its master. It's
like sitting there like, No, Zafar! Zafar! Open
up! Trying to scratch this toad just desperately,
then Dan just slides in, pummeling this thing,
cracking its head against the back wall, the
fossil glowing so bright behind it. And that's
going to be Crispin Dubois. All right. You can't
eat him, because you already got a guy in your
tummy. Well, no. Hold on. The bite didn't hit
last time, did it? Oh, it didn't. Right. Yeah.
Okay. Well, first, let's do the acid damage.
3d6. Stop it. Another one. My goodness. Are you
joking? Two ones. Oh, God. Three ones. What?
No, see, Zebulon just channeled all his bad rolls
into Crispin. That is so wild. That just took
a little. He's acclimating, yeah. He's acclimating.
Oh, my goodness. All right, well, now I need
to take out my frustrations on this ghoul in
front of me. All right, can you roll anything
but a one? Literally another three. Plus four
is seven. Let's see the bless. Here's a two.
Jewels. My goodness. Come on, man. Come on, Crispin.
I was going to go Dissonant Whispers, but I don't
want him to go away. I want to kill him. So I'm
going to cast Tasha City's Laughter. Oh, no.
I maybe have a suggestion. That would break concentration,
though. I maybe have a suggestion. What's up?
Stabilize our horn. Can I do that? Yeah, you
can do a medicine check. Seriously? It's going
to be a little high to fully stabilize. I roll
it as DC 15. Okay. But if you get a 10, I'll
give him advantage on his next save. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Is there any modifier on it? Whatever your
magic skill is. Just medicine. Yep. So after
all this hatred, this vitriol, just staring you
down, Jules kneels down. 16. And very quickly,
you just start, you just, like, pull him over.
It's probably a lot of effort to, like, turn
his body, but you're immediately just trying
to put, like, pressure on the wound, trying to,
like, cover it whenever you can. Yeah, I imagine
as Jules is trying to lift over his body, he
looks up to Zeb and says, hey. Exactly, yeah.
Helps him push all the way over. I love that.
Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, he helps turn over
with the hilt of his sword that's still in Arhalon.
That's less than horrifying. You two are working
on Arhalon. Zebulon, I'm not going to make that
your action. It's flavor. It's cool. Jules is
stabilizing Arhalon. You see, I mean, you trust
him with this. What do you want to do? Yeah,
as long as Zebulon knows that our Halan is stable,
he'll jump down two squares and start to attack
this last ghoul. 14 plus 8. Describe it. Okay.
Dan's got him so low. You don't need much more
than that. Yeah, Zebulon's walking over as she's
just like, punch, punch, punch, punch, punch,
punch, punch. And then finally, when there's
a break in the action. After you. Gestures. Zebulon
steps up. Zebulon just lops his head off. Hey,
Dan. Let's be straight here. I'm burning all
my spell slots pretty fast. Zavar's just in a
toad. I can keep playing this game of I'm going
to keep running this same spell over and over,
try to heal, try to do damage. I'm not going
to win that race. So I'm just going to assume
everyone sort of takes a step back and just watches.
You can just see Crispin's body as the giant
toad. He's like bearing Daniel. It looks like
he's trying to go to the bathroom. You can see
his belly shaking. And after... a time. I don't
know. Let's call it 25, 30 seconds. There's silence
and silence. Nope. And Crispin just burps up
a pile of bones. It will call it there.