Roll for initiative. All right, Pants People,
you're up. So here's your options. You can either
dodge action like a chump, like a coward, and
not engage with our social media, our Discord,
all that stuff at all, or you can commit full
assault, get in there, get on our Instagram,
our Facebook, our Discord. What else we got?
Instagram? I said that one already. We got TikTok.
I don't know. Go do that stuff. It's cool. We're
doing things all the time. We're working on a
YouTube eventually. We'll get there. But yeah,
check us out, Pants People, and thank you so
much for listening. See you guys the best. Uh,
your turn's over. It's a new year today when
this episode is airing. You know that? A new
year. Yeah, by the time this airs. Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit. Wait. I think this is coming out on
New Year's Day. Oh, yeah. This is the New Year's
Day. New Year's Day. So I think it's time, gentlemen,
for a new Fancy Pants. Do something new in our
show. You know what that is? You know what that
is? Tagline? Holiday Boys. No. It's politics.
We're getting political in the pants. I... Oh,
yeah. Nope. Oh, yeah. Get ready. Get ready for
this, okay? Because we... What color are your
pants, David? As a nation. Nay. We as a people
have a big problem, Jeremy. You know what that
is? Do you know what that is, sir? I'm afraid
of what you're going to say. I'm not going to...
We simply do not have enough respect. for Kung
Fu Panda. Now, I sat down with my meat pie last
night, and I didn't watch the Abed on Control
Christmas episode of Community. I watched the
first Kung Fu Panda film instead, and it is a
film. It is a beautiful film. Really good movie.
Fucking great movie. Steven, we have enabled
this way too much. Do you want me to get the
timer up? Do you want to get the timer? I don't
know if everyone's ready for the timer. Look,
look, look, look, look, look. You better not
start talking before I pull the timer up. Fine,
you know what? Pull the timer out. Yeah, I got
it. Okay. We're talking about a movie with just,
like, some incredible kung fu choreography. A
movie about a bear that self -actualizes and
then kicks ass, right? This is a movie about,
like, imposter syndrome. Poe's entire journey
is honestly beautiful. And, like, there's this
whole... Okay, if you haven't watched the movie,
don't listen to this part. But there's this whole
bit where there's a scroll that's supposed to
tell him all the secrets of how to become this
kung fu legend, right? And when they find the
scroll, it's totally blank. And, like, you know,
what's that mean? Is there nothing? Is there
no secret? That's the thing. There is no secret
because what is in the scroll is like partially
reflective parchment or like fabric. And when
he realizes he looks into it, he sees himself
and he realized there is no secret. It's just
him. It's just me. And then he fights the final
battle just being himself. It's amazing. Like
he fights in a style only Poe can fight. And
it really showcases how someone, like you said
with Zebulon, anybody can be a hero. Anyone can
be special if they just believe in what they
bring to the table. And like the villain, oh
my God, I don't want to get into the villain
right now, but the villain in the movie has a
fantastic character arc as well. Lots of drama.
Really, really, really good movie. One minute
and two seconds. Okay, well, cut two seconds
of that. All right, so that's politics. What
do you guys want to talk about? Huh? Yeah. Wow,
geez. Yeah, that threw me way off. You didn't
expect it? That's because it's the new Fantasy
Pants. You know what to expect. Wham, bam, we're
on the side. We're on the edge. We're behind
you right now, pants person. Boom, tap your shoulder.
You can't silence me! 2024, more David on muted
mic. I like this new direction we're going. How
dare you? How dare you, sirs? I think the New
Year's resolution thing is a little overplayed,
a little overhyped, blah, blah, blah. But we
haven't really talked about this outside of the
table, so I'll be a little interested to see
maybe what you guys... Oh, you're going to throw
me off guard, too? Oh, damn. It's not that big
of a deal, I don't think. It's the new pants!
What do you guys want to see for Fantasy Pants
in 2024? Man. Okay. Hear me out. Go ahead. Fine,
I'll go. You go first, David. I think there's
a chance that within the year 2024, we'll finish
the Sansatyan arc. Jesus. Maybe. Yeah, maybe.
That goes hand in hand with my hopes. And that
is for us to reach level five. Level five in
2024 would be nice. Hence, people, let's make
this happen. We're going to launch this campaign.
A campaign to get us to level five. Canvas the
streets, everybody. Level economies in shambles.
Stephen, what's up? I'm going to give you a little
sort of... Peak Beneath the Fly, something we're
kind of working on. Oh, baby. It's not a huge
deal. It'll be fun. But if you watch us on social
media, hopefully at some point in 2024, we're
going to start to put up some different video
content. So maybe you can see our faces a little
bit more frequently as we play the game here.
You're welcome, in my case. So that's what I'm
looking forward to in 2024 for Fantasy Pants.
I apologize for Steven. Yeah, it's going to be
fun. Yeah. Sorry. You get to see David acting
like this. It's a good resolution, though. It's
a good resolution because it's going to be so
cool to have more. It's not a resolution. Resolutions
never work. True. That's a good goal? Plan? Plan.
Sure. These are plans. Let's open up the thesaurus.
We're going to level up to five. We're going
to get some fucking videos of me and my face.
At least two out of those three things are certainly
going to happen. Guys, we are moving into the
climax of this arc. All joking aside, Sunset
Town is nearly over. We are at the cusp of the
end. And believe me when I say shit's about to
get so real and so hot so fast. So you two in
this room, Danny on the floor, and listeners,
wherever you may be, in your cars, at your work,
hold on to your pants. Put a belt on. Tighten
that shit. Because I'm going to try to blow your
pants right off. You guys ready? Shut up. You
guys ready? I'm wearing overalls, so I'm ready.
I'm wearing jeans with a fairly tight belt. Then
you're ready. All right, let's hit that sirenscape.
Bringing this guy back again because I liked
it last time. It's very ominous. I was digging
it. I was digging it. Ominous is good because
it is currently 8 o 'clock p .m. A great resurrection
magic has just swept across the world of Sansatyan.
The armored guard all throughout the population
on Hill stand at attention. The red light yet
glows within their helmets. Their steel plate
bodies standing firm. To the unknowing eye, they
would seem as staunch and reliable a guard as
ever. But to us, to our players, to their characters,
to the knowing, their frozen state may be obvious.
8 o 'clock p .m. And Dresden pushes towards the
meeting chamber too. Jean Franklin by his side,
and I'm assuming Dresden even formed the tortle
of just who was waiting for you beyond this doorway?
Of course. 8 o 'clock p .m., and Blanche Trudeau
is making her move. Please describe the first
actions you make, just the very first, as the
armored guard become locked in place. She unlocks
the door and runs down the hall to the staircase
to go upstairs. Holy shit. And we... are moving.
Start with you, Dresden. You stand outside the
door, hand out reach about to open it, and then
Jean puts a hand up to stop you. Wait, what?
Look, I've thought a lot about my conversation
with Samuel, and there was an implication in
his words. He boasted of his wife's contacts,
many important people from many worlds. He said
they could assist me, grant me power over my
own world, and I think... I think he let slip
that many of the people at this very party are
involved in this group. What do you think is
happening? Do you think he's been a prisoner
to these people? Or a part of them? What is waiting
for us inside? I don't know exactly what's waiting
for us. But at the moment, I'm not afraid of
going in there. The fact that everybody's involved
doesn't surprise me. And he reached out. Nobody
else did for any other reason. He's the odd one
out here. It's true. Dresden, you've been aware
of these people for a long time, right? You lived
with Samuel. Unfortunately. I know it's not exactly
my nature, but I'm going to stand at the back.
I'll let you do the talking. I don't know how
to tread carefully in these dangerous waters.
You just stand ready for anything. Aye, aye,
soldier. And with that, do you move into the
room? Yes. You push the door open, and right
now you see it's a good time. As you kind of
turn to look back, everyone is generally gathered
at the edge of the terrace, looking out. Looking
down as the lights begin to spread throughout
the city. A magnificent, beautiful sight, and
a perfect distraction. The armored guard you
see are frozen and far away. You don't know for
how long. But this is a window, and you're going
to take it. You push into the darkened room.
As you enter, the first thing you see is Eatsman
close by the door. His spectacled eyes sort of
take you in, and he rushes you inside. Please,
please, come quickly before they see. Okay. You
step into the room. I think we just see an outside
exterior shot as a door closes. behind you. Blanche,
you're moving down the hallway, moving into the
entrance hall. The armored guard stands at attention
at the door, and you simply push past him. It
does not react. It does not move. It does not
stir. You don't know if it sees you. You don't
know. But right now, the path is clear, and the
stairs are just before you. You make your way
up. Yep, up the stairs, down the hall to the
door that she knows to be Eastman's office. At
the very top of the stairs, another guard stands,
the patrol that roams that hall. We need to move
by very carefully in your form of turbo. But
now you move past it again up to the office door.
I mentioned this last time. This door is fully
sealed to the bottom. This door is locked on
the inside by a bar. And... You took the time
to purely investigate, and you took your time
to investigate this door in particular. Because
you spent time on that, I did reveal that this
door is warded. There's a glyph of warding beneath
the door. You can make it out. You don't know
how far it goes into the room. You can tell,
I believe, just from what you can see of it,
that it is an explosive glyph. If you are to
step upon it within the borders of this glyph,
it will explode. Okay. It is a secondary measure
to catch intruders. You have a few things in
your way, the bar door, the glyph. What do you
want to do? To start, I'm going to initiate the
plan that we came up with. Well, for you listeners,
it was last week. For us, it was yesterday. So
if you did give me any feedback about our plan,
sorry, I didn't get it yet. I do have knock prepared,
so I think that... Not could be arguably used
here, but... You know that the manor is largely
soundproofed. Yeah, but if you're generous enough
to let me do this cockamamie bullshit, then we'll
go ahead and do... I like it. I don't think it's
cockamamie at all. I think it's totally within
the rules. Okay. You have every element ready.
Yeah, okay. Then we're going to cast Mage Hand
and use it through the eyes of Turbo. The...
AG5 that's in the hall that Blanche is standing
in? Yeah. How far away is that AG5? This AG5
is probably about 50 feet away from you. Okay.
What happens if she goes over to it and tries
to move it? Huh. I think it's heavy. It's almost
like rigor mortis that kind of locked into place.
You could move it, but it's going to take effort.
Shit. Well then. Given Blanche's arcane knowledge,
if the glyph was triggered, Would it be dispelled
or would it activate again if somebody else stepped
on it? I'll say that looking at this glyph, if
it triggers, it will be deactivated. Okay. Then
she's going to try to get this AG5 onto the glyph.
Wow. Okay. Okay. Holy shit. Okay. Interesting.
This is going to cost a little bit of time, but
you're going to sort of grab this thing and start
trying to pull it? Yeah. Pull it. Drag it. I
was kind of hoping that it would, like, zombie
walk, but it doesn't seem like that's going to
happen. It's, yeah, they're pretty, it's more
like a dragging. It's kind of, like, locked into
its current state. I think you respect the pig
man a little more as you realize, like, how heavy
this thing is. And he just juggled three of them
earlier. But go ahead and make an athletics check
to see how fast this gets done. I think it's
well within your ability to pull. Sure. But,
like, speed -wise, speed's important right now.
That's single digits. That's a four total. You're
struggling with it. You can't just get it over
to the door. And you can sort of like knock it
over and push it onto the glyph if you want.
But it took longer than you would have liked.
Certain DCs I'm going to be rolling are now increased.
Fuck. Yeah, all right. I mean, that's, yeah.
She'll push it over onto the glyph. Okay. You
push that over. You know things are largely soundproof.
There could be some sound that escapes into the
party, but everyone's distracted. There's still
music. So when the fire erupts all over the glyph
and this armor gets hit hard, I think you see
that it looks fairly badly damaged, not wholly
destroyed. The AG -5? Yeah. It didn't land right
on the core, so it just blasts right into the
armor, right through the chest, leaving kind
of a hole. If it gets up, it will be... Hurt,
for sure. Okay. Well, I guess that's maybe good.
Probably good. Certainly good. You, like, bow
away as this explosion rocks the hallway, and
you look back. The glyph is gone. All right.
She's going to get to work. Climbing over the
suit that now lies in the doorway, you move into
the room. Another suit of armor lingers in this
room, standing at the far wall. Turn back towards
you, red light glowing, fully frozen. You look
around, and you see, again, there's, like, tools
alongside the walls. As far as, like, out in
the open, you know there's nothing to be seen,
but you've been thinking a lot. You've seen this
room already through the eyes of your familiar,
and you know whatever you want to go to, you
know where it is immediately. Yeah. There's a
very juicy -looking filing cabinet, file cabinet,
whatever, pretty close to the door among this
sort of back wall in between the door and the
small end table that holds the urn of Rosa. You
also see there's a number of, like, shelves kind
of hanging out above some of the tables, probably,
like, where ingredients or products made by Yitzmin
may linger. Okay. If given those two options,
we'll start with the juicy filing cabinet. It's
close. You move over, you grab the cabinet, and
you slide it open. Flashback. Whoa! What? What?
Flash. Back. Here's my button. Give me that button.
What are you doing? Holy fuck. You mad son of
a bitch. What's happening? Paloma, I'm expecting
that we'll see some pretty damning evidence there
in the manor. I'd hope you would. That would
be incredible. In order to help your cause, I'd
like to know if the resistance has a recording
diamond that we could borrow. That's pretty good.
That's pretty good. And honestly, I think it's
wholly reasonable that they would have at least
one. I will not ask for a roll. You gave me your
butt. Baby! Paloma smiles at this. Now I like
the way you think, Blanche Trudeau. Takes a drag
off her cigar and produces from her pocket, her
very own pocket, a recording diamond. All right.
You just take good care of her, eh? I'll, uh...
I'll make sure there's something juicy on that
for you. I hear they have juicy filing cabinets
up on the hill. I heard that too. So with the
recording diamond in one hand, her second hand
flipping through papers, and then her mage hand
helping her to flip through papers, Blanche is
going to start flipping through the filing cabinet.
You see inside there's copious notes and journal
entries. organized with various schematics, various
things. They're all just meticulously organized,
very cleanly written. You're a fast reader, so
you can scan over all the names, all the titles
of these files, and you just immediately sort
of absorb them. I mean, you're a wizard. It just
makes sense, right? Your life is books. I also
have a better idea where I think it would be
cooler if the mage hand was holding the recording
diamond, so Blanche with two hands is just fucking
filing through. That's so cool. One thing you
notice that these files are connected by lines
of magic that feed into the back of the cabinet.
And I'll say that you can recognize that if they
are drawn too far away as another failsafe, they
will essentially burn. They will just destroy.
I don't think she even needs to take them out.
Okay, yeah, you don't. You know what I mean?
Just want to make sure that's out there because
we were like, well, why didn't you just grab
the file? Sure, sure. There's a reason you can't.
So you're looking through, you see that. Now,
the question is going to be where you start because
now I'm going to talk about a mechanic that we're
going to be using right now. As you investigate,
as you go and scan certain things, time's already
passed a fair bit. Every second matters. These
guards will activate. And you don't know when.
I don't know when. Because I'm rolling checks.
Every time you investigate something, I'm going
to roll a check to see if they activate. That's
fucking brutal. It's brutal. That's fucking brutal.
But this is a cool -ass plan. You're going through
it so much faster because you're recording it.
So what I'm going to do is say... With two hands.
You can look at two things. Per check. Two potential
leads. Okay. Now, let me tell you what these
leads might look like. Because as you go through,
you do see a number of names or people or projects.
A few of these tabs stick out at you. Big time.
Donya Estella. Heard of her. Pigman. In parentheses.
Goltan. Whoa. Ooh. Tlacatacolo. In parentheses.
Serapio. Okay. Armored Guard Model 5. Calypsania.
Jules LaRoche. Zebulon Brass. Hmm. Don't need
to look at that one. Okay. So you're asking me
which... Yeah. Oh, fuck. I will ask you which.
When we get back to you. Oh, okay. Because we're
going to Jules again. Sorry, Dresden again. Jules
in the desert. He's sick. Dresden. I wasn't prepared
for this. This was not supposed to be our scenes
tonight. Holy shit. Okay. You step into the room.
It's been, uh, basically as, as you move in,
he like moves the door and gently, very carefully
closes it and slides over to the lock, clicks
it. I think we should be okay. Did anyone see
you come in? Do you think anyone saw me come
in? This is your place. I... Is it? Start talking.
Prison. They've been using me. Keeping me a prisoner
here in this manor. Donya Estella has me watched
at all times. Controls my creations. The AG -5.
They serve her. He's sort of moving towards the
back of the room now, and you see it's just like
any other, the other rear room you saw Jean Franklin
in. Small sort of table in the middle, like a
desk, two chairs on either side, a place for
people to do business. You realize, again, it's
soundproofed. It makes sense why it would be.
This is a place where people would want to get
to make perhaps shady deals. They wouldn't want
to be overheard. They want to be protected. You
also see one difference is that this room has
a doorway in the back that must lead deeper into
the manor. Eastman sort of moves to the far backside
of the room and sits down at the desk, almost
like sweating, nervous. This is our chance. We
need to get out of here tonight. Do you know
Paloma, the resistance? Can you take me to her
tonight? What makes you think I can trust you?
He's trying to think like nervous or sweating.
I sort of lost. You better give me something
good. The Sereno. I know. I know what it is.
What? Not here. If I give you that information,
you won't take me away. Paloma hears everything.
Jean lingers in the back of the room, sort of
close to the door, standing ready. Dresden manifests
his echo behind him. He whirls around at this?
Behind me. Oh, okay. He looks over your shoulder
at this and sees this thing and his eyes go wide.
What? What is... Tell me. This is not a threat.
I just don't trust you yet. He almost seems distracted.
His eyes lingering on the echo. A magic that
perhaps this genius of magical artificery has
never before seen. His mouth is sort of just
slack -jawed. What is it? What is that? How did
you make that? He makes the echo disappear. The
demon is a person changing at night. Who? I don't
know. Blanche. David. What do you choose to look
at first to record? If you're recording quickly,
you won't read everything immediately. Sure.
That's the one downside. Okay, that's fair. I
do think that it's probably more valuable to
record the information than to take it in. Yeah.
I split it into high priority and low priority.
Let me make sure that I have all the pieces.
Yeah. These are the three on my high priority
list. Serapio. Danya, Stella, AG5. Then on my
low priority list, Pigman, Jules, Zeb. Did I
miss anybody? Calypsania. Wasn't Calypsania the
AG5? No. Oh. It's a name that, actually, I guess
there's no reason why it would really stand out
to you. It just seems like it's, that file seems
important in its placement. Everything else is
alphabetically organized. This one sits at the
far back. Oh, shit. Fine, I'll do that one first.
I was going to roll, but that just seems like
it's out of the ordinary. Right, right. All right,
so we'll do Calip whoever first. Okay. Wait,
I mean, we've heard that name. Did we? Yes, we've
heard that name before. These characters haven't,
but the other characters would be aware of it.
That's what, yeah. Calypsania was mentioned by
Zavar. Oh, Calypsania. Oh, shit. Wow, yeah. Damn,
Jeremy. That was pretty fucking good. Well, you
already... Button? You know what? Yeah, you got
a button. That's pretty good. You seemed confused,
and I'm like, I know we've heard that name before,
and I didn't connect it all the way back to Zavar.
I didn't connect it to specifically where it
came from. You've heard it a few times, actually.
It's come up in a couple of Jules flashbacks.
Yeah. And thankfully, I said that after you selected
that one to go first, because... our characters
didn't know right yeah there you go okay let's
let's go with calypsania first and then i'll
i'll roll for the the next one because i just
i just fucking can't you get through the time
so do you get this one so you go you flash your
recorder over it as you scroll the back really
quick you pull this out bring the quarter over
it and as you do i'll say a few words strike
you matriarch black dragon Oh, cool. Funny. You
see that very quickly. That's awful. Okay, great.
All right, now I'm going to roll for the other
three. AG5, Dania, Stella, Serapio. I'll go alphabetical
order. A is one. Reroll fours. That's a four.
Three, so Serapio. Serapio. Okay. You scroll
over it. You just see just like... Very quick
flash of information, just the words as you're
using your camera. Zavar. Awakened. Serenno.
Rosas. Mostly that's all you see. I already know
all that. But yeah, you know, there may be more
amongst it. Sure. All right, now I'll do... Well,
I guess I have to roll the investigation check
first. I'm going to roll something. Okay. You're
not doing checks. Oh, God, I don't like that.
Your... Between rolls, I'm going to roll. Oh,
right. Yes, yes, yes. I get two bits of information,
then you do a roll to see if they come back,
and then I get two bits of information and back
and forth. Okay, great, fun. Now, it took you
a while to get that armor. It's not a good athletics
check. So I'm going to have a bit of a higher,
or I guess I should say a bit of a lower DC for
this roll than I had initially planned. We'll
see if you get anything else. He was about to
roll twice, but he only rolled once. So that
means it was either a really good result or a
really bad result. I thought I had advantage,
but no, it's just a lower. I was thinking, like,
do I have advantage of the roll? No, it's lower
DC. So I had a weird brain fart moment. The armors
do not move. Okay, fucking sweet. Okay, AG5 is
going to be odds. Donya Estella is going to be
evens. Hell yeah. That's even six. Even six.
Reach out for the Donya Estella page. Dresden.
What's Dresden doing on the Donya Sala page?
What fun tonight. He doesn't know. Oh. And as
far as Dresden knows, I mean, I guess you do
know that apparently his child is this thing.
You don't know it's the Rapio. Blanche has not
been able to share that information with you.
But you do know Itzman's son is the demon. Jules
uncovered that from Miskin. You know that Itzman
just lied to you. That's right. Well, thank you,
benevolent DM, for pointing that out. Yeah, of
course. There's so much information in this arc,
and I can't expect to remember everything you
guys know. It's totally fair. Dresden re -manifests
his echo. Try again. I don't understand. What
is this? Try again. A long, long pause. Then
Ichbin reaches up, pushes his glasses up higher
up the bridge of his nose. His eyes settle into
dark pools. His mouth firms. Posture straightens.
My apologies. I thought you would be unintelligent.
My mistake. I am Ichbin del Prado. Of course,
I know all about you, Dresden. I've been in frequent
contact with your former master, Speaker Cirilla.
Samuel may be a blundering idiot, but the Leza
family, they have been invaluable to me. You
see, he kind of pulls out a sending stone from
his pocket, puts it down the table. You see the
strange sort of carvings around the mouthpiece.
And I think you remember that night. The night
that started all of this for you, when Serla
received a message on her sending stone from
a contact on Sansatian, telling her about the
assault on Jules. The voice there was, there
was no character to it. It was monotone. But
as you see the etchings in this stone, you realize
it's just a facet of this particular relic. And
you know the voice on the other end was Itzmin
del Prado. If I look around, can I see that we're
the only ones in the room? You can. Jaune's like,
Eyes are kind of going wide. He's sort of like
braced, trying to reach for a spear and kind
of like holding strong, waiting for your word.
So, what now? What are you going to do? Scream
out to the partygoers outside? Even if they could
hear you through these walls, it wouldn't matter.
Puppets. All of them. And I hold the strings.
I own the voters. I own the trust now. I own
this world. You think yourself in a position
of power because you have a war pick. Armor.
You're strong and you have mysterious magics.
That's not power. Dresden, please sit. We should
discuss power. Dresden doesn't budge. I would
prefer not to have a scene. It would be an embarrassment
to my company. I have a lot of investors here
at this party. People I have not worked with
before. Not everyone here serves the Horned Lord.
I was hoping to catch you all, one by one throughout
the night, take you in. You were kind enough
to come and join me here. I would like to pay
favor to that. I do not wish to harm you, but
I need to know. Where is Paloma? Where are the
rats hiding? Tell me. There's one standing right
across from me. And the rest are outside that
door. Smart and funny. Fine. Then we'll do this
the hard way. The door behind him opens as he
makes a gesture. And you see one of these strong
servants, men in full garb, is currently holding
Ramin Rasool. A dagger held to his neck, Ramin's
hands bound behind his back. What the fuck are
you going to do? Blanche, back to you. Oh, God.
Blanche doesn't know there's a meeting. Blanche
doesn't know there's a meeting. So, Donya Stella,
what can you tell me about her? You open the
Donya Stella page, and I think you just scan
through the diamond. You see various things.
Servant, fraud, criminal. Okay. And AG5. AG5.
Most of this page is sort of specs, and you see
a number of schematics for the AG5. You see some
of the more inner workings of them. If you can
observe this later on, you may have some benefits
while combating them, if you can read it fully.
But you do see, I think, one very quick tidbit
at the bottom. The AG5, all of the AG5 are primarily
controlled. by Yitzmin Del Prado himself. They
serve only Yitzmin and his commands. They will
attack who Yitzmin deems an enemy. Okay. What
would it cost me to read into this a little bit
more? Time. Okay. But you... Keep going. You
could get out of here and, like, not be in front
of these guys and read afterwards. That's always
a possibility, too. Sure. Because you have pictures.
We're saying, like, essentially, I imagine, because
you can record via the diamond. You can also,
like, take essentially still frame pictures of
the diamond to look at, too. So I imagine that's
kind of what you're doing is, you know, it's
like an old, like, reporter in a, you know. Right.
Exactly. Old detective serial is going through
and taking, like, flash images of each file.
Okay. So. If I wanted to either cast or prepare
a spell or something like that, that has a casting
time of one action, is that going to make a significant
difference in my time here? No. Okay. Then I'm
going to cast Alter Self and change my appearance
to Itzman Del Prado. Oh, shit. Wow. Oh, shit.
That's cool. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Not bad, right?
That's really good. Not bad. That's really good.
You take these two images, and very quickly,
as you realize you're looking back at the guard,
did it just twitch? Did you hear metal scrape
is about to move? You don't know. It could have
been your mind. And very quickly, you cast this
magic. And suddenly, Eastman Del Prado himself
stands in his own workshop. And I'm going to
roll a die. Oh, fuck me. I think we're both getting
fucked tonight. The guard does not move. Whoa.
Bad rolls both times. Whoa. Holy shit. Higher
is worse for you the way I'm rolling it, and
I've rolled below 10 on both these significantly.
Nice. Okay. Each round this gets even lower DC
too, so it's crazy. So in addition to the juicy
file cabinet, you said there was a shelf. Do
I? I'm just going to go through the rest of this
first, and then we'll deal with that later. What
next two do you want? Okay, I think Pigman should
be one of them. Then I will roll between Jules
and Zeb. Okay. Oh, I like that a lot. I mean,
we're here to play dice. We're here to play dice.
So I will do evens, Jules, odds, Zebulon. That's
three. That's odd. Okay. Okay. Sorry, Jules.
I hope it's not that important. Or I hope I get
another turn to do it. I feel so left out. So
first is Pigman? Pigman first. Okay. You see,
as you're taking these pictures, a name. Gulta
Porg. Looks like almost two names combined together.
Zavar. Experiments. Mask. Savage. Etten. Oh.
And upon that word, something flashes in your
mind. Oh, my God. I know. Do I have a brother?
Oh, fuck. That's just... Wow. Wow. Messed up,
David. Players, and not characters, might recall
Miskin talking about Shalmal. How this ettin
that took him in had a child that they lost many
years ago and never found. Fucking weird, dude.
And then you open the one that says Zebulon.
There's not a lot here. a brief note, and then
it looks like some sort of personal note down
below. But you're trying to be quick, right?
Well, I mean, if there's not a lot there, then
I can be quick. I'll say this. You want to roll
for it? I'll say this. If you're being quick,
you can go through and read, like, you get the
brief sort of statements on the actual chart
itself that seems to describe almost a biography
of this person, which is strange enough. Why
Zebulon? Why in Itzman's cabinet? Why is that
name important? But there's also a note. It looks
to be like written differently. Almost like in
the margins of the page. Something personal.
So basically you're telling me to choose? Yes.
You get a basic word from the first part. No,
I want the personal note. Okay. If you're just
scanning over to get a picture of the first part,
one word leaps out at you as you go. Because
you've seen it already one other time. Calypsania.
Gotcha. Then you read the note at the back. My
mind is razor sharp. My memory perfection. Yet
I cannot recall a single detail about Calypsania's
former partner, father to Zebulon. Oh, fuck.
A curse, an impossibility. What did Sholay do?
What the fuck? Damn. Damn, that's so fucked up.
Okay. Okay. Uh -huh. Behind you, you hear metal
scrape against metal. Oh, my God. As the armored
guard begins to awaken. Dresden, we're back to
you. And the ball's in your court. I asked you
a question. Where is Paloma? Where is the rebellion?
Where are the revolution hiding? Where are the
rats, Dresden? Itzmin sits very confidently behind
his desk. Ramin is... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He
looks you in the eyes. Dresden, get me outside.
You have to get me out. And he's like, a fist
just crashed into his face and he spits out blood
from the corner of his mouth. Silence. You're
not the one I want to hear from. Itzmin looks
back to you. Jean is frozen in place, mouth open,
spear in hand, but he can't move. I will let
him go. I will let you all go. You can enjoy
your last night. You will not leave the hill.
But if it's any consolation, you are never going
to leave this hill alive. I don't know where
that fourth member of yours is, but when I find
Blanche Trudeau, You seem to know so much about
me. You don't even realize why I'm here. I'm
here on my own accord. Yes. Cirilla mentioned
in our last contact that you had gone missing.
Your brother, too. And I'd heard someone matching
his description causing some problems in the
old city. They say he vanished. What? Have you
been doing on this world, on my world, Dresden
Kellig? What brought you here? What accord do
you follow to come into my lair? To walk into
my trap so... I don't have to explain anything
to you. I beg to differ. He snaps his fingers
and you see the dagger around his neck presses
in just a little bit. A small bit of blood begins
to run down. Now. I'm a businessman. I can be
reasonable. This, everything, it's just a transaction.
So what are you after? What do you get in all
of this? You really think that Cerise is going
to give you any power? This is her game, and
you're just a pawn. My company has spread throughout
every single world. When this... Party is done.
When these little people take my soldiers into
their homes. Soldiers are under my command. My
control. What do you think is going to happen?
Who has the power then? She's had the power all
along. Paloma. He's getting like visibly angry.
He's trying to change something. Paloma. I want
the revolution. Once she's smoked out of hiding.
Once she's dead, the rest will fall with her.
My world will be at peace. All puppets on my
stage. And you're a puppet on her stage. You're
already dead too. Fine. Fine. Let's cut the stakes.
It happened so quickly. The door behind you is
yanked open. And one of these armored guard...
very swiftly steps through. It's moving so fluid
and fast. Jaune spins around to meet it as the
door closes behind this thing, as its, like,
weapon is drawn towards him. I will kill Ramin
Rasool, and I will have my guard strike down
the tortle on Tellio. How much is this information
worth to you? How many friends need to die tonight,
Dresden? Where's Blanche? Flashback. What? To
the moment when I am talking to Turbo. Holy shit,
what the fuck? And I let Blanche also know that
I am meeting with Eatsman at 8 o 'clock in this
room. Holy shit. So Blanche knows exactly where
Dresden is. And you scouted the party. Holy shit.
That's fucking crazy. Throwing darts at the dartboard.
Yeah, I mean, we're... kind of fucked here, so
that's going to help get the party back together.
You know enough about the layout of this place,
even though you didn't fully explore the first
floor, I'll say you could approach this from
either direction. That's crazy. I'll ask you
this then. Should I transition to Blanche at
this moment? After I say, Sean, brace for Riptide.
Holy shit! I'd give you a button if I could.
I'm giving you a button for that. Oh, hell yeah.
That's good shit. Yes, sir. And we see Jean just
tuck in and go in to tackle the armored guard.
Fuck. Wait, AG5 armored guard? Yeah, baby. Oh,
we're so fucking dead. Jean's going in. Oh, we're
so fucking dead. I actually think this is so
cool. I actually think this is so cool. I'm going
to say this is what happens. I'd like a strength
check from Jean -Franco Montelio. Oh, my God.
I'd like a contest. The door is not fully closed
yet as this guard has kind of moved in. I'm going
to give Jaune a chance to tackle the guard in
this moment and potentially push it out of the
room. All right, Jaune's got a plus two. This
could draw attention to you guys. It's a really
cool move. 13. Okay. Roll low, HE5, you stupid,
stupid metal son of a bitch. Jaune tackles into
this thing. You said it was a 13? Mm -hmm. Who
the fuck does Ty go to? Whoa, Ty goes to the
attacker, right? Oh, shit. The attacker. Yeah,
Ty goes to the attacker. No way. Holy shit. No
fucking way. Holy shit. Right? Yeah. Holy shit.
So Jean tackles this guy. You hear the sound
of a shell clanging against metal steel plates.
The AG -5, taken aback by this sudden movement,
is knocked backwards, like pushed five feet back.
The door is not yet fully closed behind it as
it kind of just entered this room. And suddenly
the doors burst open. The AG -5 slides out into
the party proper. Jean Franklin tackling him
out. And you hear like gas and some screams.
Oh my God. It's been looks up in some amount
of startled like horror as this little scene
has now been put on display Blanche, what are
you doing? This thing is actually behind you
turn around you see that one of these armors
is approaching you It's approaching you slowly
Awkwardly, there's something in its movements
that tells you it's it's like having like an
error like You know, I see eats men but it doesn't
fully believe it's seeing Yzmin. So you have
this moment of like this thing sort of stalled
out. From what you read on that note about the
AG5, you would think that Yzmin has some sort
of mental connection to them. It sees its master,
but does not feel its master, if that makes sense.
And so there is a contradiction in its programming.
It doesn't know how to proceed right now, but
it might make up its mind very quickly. Okay,
okay, okay, okay. The Knight of the Remembered
has... Caused a glitch in the magic. I believe
there's an intruder in the east wing. Go investigate
now. Deception check. Button. Oh, man. I'll take
it. I'll take it. Blanche has a plus zero. This
is officially the most buttons exchanged in a
single episode of Fantasy Pants, I think. First
one's a 10. So it's all riding on this roll.
14. Okay. I had a weird thought just now. Anyway.
Anyway? I don't like that verbiage. No. Is it
a 13? I said a 14. 14 is my passive perception.
I think, no, insight would be lower than that.
So, yeah, actually, you get it. It turns away
from you and begins to, like, move. And it's
almost like it's in a hurry in its pace, but
you do notice something interesting. As it steps
into the hallway, it suddenly, like... Head locks
up. It shifts down into a full sprinting stance
and begins to run. And you realize it's been
called. Something is happening. The armored guard
are mobilizing. The one on the ground is beginning
to try to stand up. It's having a hard time getting
itself off the ground, but it's also trying to
respond. They're all responding. And Blanche,
given the flashback we just had, I think you
know exactly what they're responding to. Yeah.
Okay. Blanche, on her way out the door, wants
to cast lightning lure on the AG5 that's on the
floor. So it's a lash of lightning energy that
strikes at one creature of your choice that you
can see within 15 feet. The target must succeed
on a strength saving throw or be pulled up to
10 feet in a straight line towards you and then
take 1d8 lightning damage. So she wants to cast
this, pull it towards her. So it takes the lightning
damage and then hop over it and run out of the
room. Holy shit. That is incredible. That's incredible.
That's so cool. No fucking way. Give me that
damage. Am I rolling against it right? Yeah,
you need to roll against a do -do -do. It's a
strength save. 14 is the DC. Five on the die.
Okay, sweet. So then you take 1d8 lightning damage,
and you're pulled 10 feet further into the room.
That's so cool. I was actually going to make
you roll a check to get over this thing, so that's
actually brilliant of you. Max damage. Eight
lightning damage. Oh, hell yeah. Metal shavings
just tear off of this thing as you open a hole
in it as this lightning bolt strikes through
it, yanks deeper into the room, scraping metal
against metal as it slides across the floor,
and you weave your way out the door over the
ruined cliff. In Heatsman Del Prado. goes out
the door. Holy shit, yeah! Holy shit! Oh my god.
And you're rushing where? So if I'm looking at
the map correctly, it looks like the fastest
route is to get out of the room and go left and
come down here to get outside onto the second
story porch or terrace, whatever fancy porches
are called. Is that right, or am I wrong? Or
is that the first floor that I'm looking at?
Yeah, the first floor. The fastest route from
where you are would actually be going through
the Grand Entrance Hall. Of course it is. All
right, we're going to go through the Grand Entrance
Hall then. So you dive down, you're rushing,
you're sliding down the stairs. Outside, Sean
just tackled this armor into the main room there.
Eastman just takes him and gestures to the staff
who's got Ramin, and they start to move backwards.
Ramin, once again. Dresden, get me outside! Now!
Now! You have to get me outside! As he's being
pulled deeper in, perhaps a bargaining chip for
later use, and eats me himself, stands up and
begins to, like, rush out of the room as he realizes
things are going wrong. You can hear metal clanging
outside. Many, many metal, uh, sort of, sort
of, gauntleted feet charging towards your location.
People screaming. Dresden. Is Ramin already gone?
No. Right now, I believe you have a moment of
choice. Yitzmin is escaping. Ramin is being pulled
away. They're going to be pulled in the same
direction, but in that room in different directions.
Jean is currently about to be assaulted by not
just one, but many potential adversaries in these
armored guard. You have three different targets.
Do you want to go for Yitzmin, Ramin, or Jean?
You know what to do, Jeremy. Well, I know. I
know. You know what to do. Let's go fuck shit
now. Bye, Jean. Jean will be fine. Are we in
initiative? Not yet. Dresden is going to command
his echo behind the being that's holding Ramin.
Okay. This guy's sort of moving backwards, kind
of facing away from the dagger on Ramin, and
he bounces into this thing. For a moment, the
dagger lowers because this was a very surprising
thing. He suddenly spins his head. As this happens.
Yeah. I'm excited. It's so exciting. Oh, wait.
Hang on. Hang on. How far am I away from this
creature? It's about to change. How far am I
away from this creature? Creature. 20 feet. 20
feet. He's being pushed in the back. Perfect.
Then as my echo gets behind him and he kind of
quivers a little bit, I am going to use the dash.
to use Charger. Yes! I've been waiting for this
for fucking ever. I have heard of Charger, but
I don't remember what it does. If I use the dash
action, I can use a bonus action to make a melee
weapon attack or shove a creature. If you move
at least 10 feet in a straight line before using
this bonus action, I gain a plus 5 to the damage.
If I choose to make a melee attack. Or push the
target up to 10 feet. So I can... I can just
push at 10 feet. Is it lined up that he can just
push him out? If you can shove him, I think it's,
I mean, are we rolling a check on this? I don't
know. It just says if you move at least 10 feet
before using my bonus action, I either gain a
plus five. So if I either gain a plus five to
the damage roll on the melee attack, or I push
the target up to 10 feet. So it sounds like if
I move at least 10 feet, I push him 10 feet.
I think it's a roll. I think it says I get to
land the attack because it's part of the attack.
Oh, you're right, you're right, you're right.
So if you land the attack, you get the damage
and push him. If you push him 10 feet, he will
let go of Ramin. Okay. So you got to land a stack.
It's the best shot. You got to land the attack.
It's the best shot. Yeah, that's huge. This guy
is wearing a staff scarb. Oh, yeah. He's not
fully armored. Oh, yeah. Button for advantage.
That's the button time. Give me that button.
Give me that button. This is crazy. He's going
for it. It's a high number. It's a high number.
Oh, wait. What's my... Do I get a modifier for
my melee? It'd be your normal weapon attack.
Oh, no. Seriously? It'd be your strength. My
unarmed strike? Yes. Okay, either way, it's plus
five, so that's 23. You come rushing. This guy
bats against your echo. He's sort of confused
for a second. The echo kind of sets you up, kind
of shoves him, and as he kind of turns away from
that, Dresden comes barreling into the room.
What's it look like when you knock this guy 10
feet? I think all that anybody hears is just
the... of my armor. Holy shit. And I barrel into
him and I hit so hard he goes through my echo
and actually makes it just disappear. He definitely
took at least one point of damage. That's so
badass. And then I smash him back through. There's
a door behind him, right? Yeah, they're moving
into the other room. I smash him through the
door. Immediately get up. Ramin, run! H -Man
is disappearing around a corner in the other
room. He's like, out of here. Ramin is let go.
He sort of drops to the ground in front of this
guy. This guy goes flag, smashing back into the
back wall. We'll say he clads against the stone
wall and just full goes unconscious, just drops
to the ground. I mean, these guys are, the damage
would do it. And we're not quite an initiative
right now. Ramin just looks at you like, thank
you, thank you, go. And he begins to run outside.
Blanche Trudeau, you curve out the main door
into chaos. The partygoers are screaming, rushing
to the edge of the terrace as armored guard are
pouring. All the ones that are lying at the edge
of the terrace at this party are rushing towards
Jean Franklin, who stands over like one guard
that's kind of like in front of him, weapons
about to come down. And suddenly, the crowd sort
of parts as a huge figure barrels out like, hey,
what are you doing to my sidekick and her friend?
Turns and the pig man comes charging. Of course
he does. Smashing through some armored guards.
He picks up a guy, just dropkicks an armored
guard, suplex, smash him over his back. Holy
shit. What do you do? Blanche instantly drops.
What the fuck? Instantly drops the spell. So
she appears back as Blanche Trudeau. I'm so glad
you did that. Yeah. I thought it might be useful
for getting out, but I mean, I guess it kind
of was. And then she, yeah, runs back to the
terrace to. to join up with the rest of the party.
She calls attention to herself as she comes out.
John, Pigman, what's going on out here? I don't
know. Where's Inchman? Where's Inchman? This
isn't right. This isn't right. Pigman's, like,
kind of losing it. You see he's starting to go
into, like, that same sort of fevered rage before.
smashing its metal. The guard are moving away
from him. They're coalescing around Jaune, who's
starting to kind of, like, get buried behind
them. You can see, like, they're moving in formation
surrounding him. Ramin steps out beside him into,
like, the night. Dresden, where are you? I think
by this point, after a few seconds have passed,
I've run up and I'm behind Jaune. So, okay, Dresden,
Ramin. Jaune, all together as armor guard come
surrounding them. Blanche, Pigman's closer to
you. He's looking at you. Where's Itzman? What
do we do? What do we do? Sidekick, you got what
to do, right? You gotta help me, right? Yes,
Pigman, I'm here to help you. What we're going
to do, she points to the party over there. Because
everybody's within eyesight now, right? Yeah.
So she points to Dresden, Ramin, and Jaune. She
says, we're going to get the three of them out
of here, and then we'll find Itzman, I promise.
He looks at you. He nods excitedly. I don't really
get it, but all right. This seems wrong. And
pig man fights injustice. Let's go. And he freezes.
The spot. Oh, pig man. No. David, what are you
doing? He looks around as if he hears a voice
right beside him, right beside his ear. You recognize
someone who's being affected by message. And
he looks over to Blanche like, Wait. Who's gotot?
And you watch as his hand, as if he doesn't even
know what's happening, reaches for his face.
You watch his fingers wrap around the pig mask.
And you see the horror in his eyes as a mask
is being pulled. You hear one last, Blanche!
Blanche! As the mask is torn. What you see beneath
it is something hideous. A monstrous, mutated
face bearing curved tusks, bulbous features,
completely bald. A thick brow overhangs two small
eyes, bulging with a deep fury. And you know
what you're looking at now. A magically altered
Ettin. An Ettin with only one head, strengthened
through whatever dark powers Zavar used. Yet,
Ettin's body contains two souls. Whatever magic
was used to alter this pigman, to alter this
creature, did it destroy that other head? Did
it destroy that other soul? Or did it merge them?
Dude, did I have a brother? And looking into
these eyes in that moment, you realize the pigman
is gone. What stands before you is not the pigman.
The pigman was the mask, and the mask has been
torn. But he did have a brother. Sleeping consciousness.
You barely grazed this suggestion that previous
night. And now, Goltan is awake. This monstrous
face looks towards you. And begins to charge
at you. Blanche, death comes for you. This great
shadow of death. You fought this thing before.
When it was... When it wasn't serious. You felt
the power of the pig man. And now the pig man
is gone. Now this new thing has awakened. And
you know you are about to die. Will you make
your stand here? Yeah. Yeah, Blanche isn't ready
to die. But I don't think she's afraid of death.
She knows that the only chance, if there is one,
is to keep her cool. And so you keep your cool
as this abomination comes barreling towards you.
Dresden, you know you are about to die. AG -5s
surround you. You stand beside Jean, beside Ramin.
Will you fight with them? To the last? Yes. As
chaos erupts. As you stand beneath the stars,
some stars shooting across the sky like comets
in the night. As all the dangers of the world
collapse around you, Ramin looks to the sky.
Please, come. And fires a sacred flame, a white
burning flame upwards. A signal in the stars.
begin to fall. Streaks of light crashing down
on the terrace, taking form as they smash down
bits of stone spraying all around them, taking
the form of angels, celestials, maybe a dozen
of them wielding weapons of gleaming gold and
silver. You see the pastel blue skin and scarlet
wings of powery angels. White robes flowing beneath
plates of golden armor. Eyes burning with a fierce
orange light. And they fall upon the armored
guard, crashing into them with the forces of
falling stone and brighter. and larger than all
the rest, shining with a light that seems to
bring day to the night of the remembered U .C.
Atash. Hand of the Sunweaver. Scarlet robes,
golden crown upon his head, great wings shining
with the light of holy flame. The sound of sing
metal rings out as his great sword cleaves down
to the ground before you, Blanche, where he lands.
Before the pig man. Before Goltan. His attention.
turns towards ramin child you have served our
god well leave the murdering swine to me and
we'll call it there