Hey guys, Zebulon Black here. Did you know The
Ugly Coyote has its own book now? Well, it's
actually a zine. It's like a mini magazine. Anyway,
if you'd like to get one for yourself, go to
ko -fi .com slash fantasypants or visit our Instagram
page for the link. I was surprised. These puppies
come built in with an ever -improving magificial
intelligence. Post -forge, they are trained by
skilled military tacticians here on San Sityan.
So once they're purchased and paired to an owner,
once they establish their core commands, they
can go about their task with full autonomy. Now,
the 85 aren't out in the open market yet, but
they will be soon. This is a little sneak peek
at the genius of Itzmin Del Prado and the wonders
being made in his facilities. Marvel Ironworks.
Break your chains with something stronger. Get
ready, guys. We're on our second episode in one
night, which means... Why are we on our second
episode in one night, David? We're going to get
stupid up in here because I'm going to Florida
next week. I was going to say, you did this to
me. We're going to do this to you. Go to Florida.
I've seen some family. Hey. This one's the dipper.
Sorry. Off topic. That's the nipa. All right.
Sorry, pants people. That didn't mean anything
to you. That was for Jeremy. We're playing beer
roulette with unlabeled cans. Yeah. And we're
trying to find the double IPA. Anyways, you were
saying something stupid about Florida. That's
it. I'm done. I'm going to Florida. No, no, no.
Come on. I'm joking. I'm here. It is exciting.
It's really exciting. Yeah. What's the exact
address you're going to? How long are you going
to be there? What are you going to do every single
day? And what should I bring? Yes. Okay. Do you
have room in your trunk? To answer all of your
questions. Dragon Quest Monsters The Dark Prince
comes out tomorrow. So that has what to do with
Florida. I'm going to play that. I'm going to
play that. I'm going to switch. It's going to
be awesome. I am in a room with the only two
guys that I know who will play video games on
vacation. Oh, yeah. I did that on my vacation.
Yeah. Yeah. I did. It's going to be awesome.
It's pretty cool. There's nothing quite like
playing video games while you're on vacation.
Dude, it's so good. It's like the ultimate relaxation.
I love you guys, and I love that you love it.
My buddy, Chris, I'm going to go and I live in
his room. Like I used to in high school. And
I'm going to play dragon was a dark Prince when
I get home. Cause you know, I stay up really
late so I can see my family. They'll go to sleep
at nine o 'clock and I'm up for the next five
hours, you know, doing shit all. I'm going to
go to Christmas house. We're gonna play dragon
quest. It's going to be a great time. That's
what I'm doing. Yeah, exactly. He gets it. I
brought my PS five on vacation because I'm like,
Oh, we got all this stuff we're doing during
the day. Yeah. At the end of the day. Yeah. What
the fuck all am I going to do? Smart guys. High
five. Yeah. Suck on your ponytails, Steven. I
warned you. I warned you it was going to be stupid.
My voice is destroyed. My mind is frozen. We
have too many flashbacks. I've heard a bunch.
I've heard a boatload of fucking ponytail insults
from you. Dude, they've like ramped up hard the
last week. I don't know if I've heard suck on
your ponytail before. Put on a t -shirt. Oh,
man. Speaking of stupid. God, that's so funny.
Here we are with a transition. Speaking of stupid.
Great transition. Yeah, thank you. All right.
I have an announcement to make. It's very exciting
for everyone here. Oh. Very, very exciting stuff.
It's time to put to bed something that we started
a long time ago. That's what the banter was.
Yeah, exactly. He's the one who keeps saying,
we're going to put it to bed. We're going to
put it to bed. We're going to put it to bed.
And then he keeps bringing it up. All right.
Let's put this to bed. Tuck us in, David. I have
started watching. A little TV show called Letterkenny.
What? Applause, applause, applause. What? Where's
the applause button? I love you, David. All right.
I started watching a little TV show called Letterkenny.
I've gotten about five episodes in, which means
I am now able to make a full, unbiased review
of the entire show, my opinion, and so it is
gospel and law, about how good the show is. Yeah,
here we go. So here we are. We have friends.
A couple of friends. Jeremy, if you've been watching
Friends, is your review coming? You didn't even
let me. You didn't even let me announce that.
Fuck, you're right. God damn. You're right. Well,
okay. Yeah, listeners, this all started because.
It's fair. It's fair. Because one evening I was
like, bored. And I said, okay, I'm going to give
Friends three seasons. Are we not? Okay, we're
not doing that? I mean, you can do that. I'm
not doing that. For friends, come on. Damn it.
Do you want me to go slide whistle? Okay, so
I'm still in season one. I have no review yet.
So this is not put to bed tonight. Okay. Your
portion can be put to bed tonight. I am the only
one who has seen all of both shows. Put a ponytail
in it. All right. So continue. Continue, and
then I will do my part. Whenever I finish three
seasons. Okay. Brace yourselves. Here it comes.
So next year, guys. I mean, you've seen more
than five episodes, though. Yes. You made the
commitment to watch three seasons. She's seen
five episodes. I've seen enough. I also recognize
that for any TV show, any TV show, you need to
give it that time for proper character development
to really get the show. So I'm allotting it that
time. You allot five episodes. Fuck that. Hey.
All I'm saying is our first five episodes on
this show, we were incredible. Oh, yeah. It was
great. Yeah, don't skip those. Yeah. We were
so good, we have not developed at all. Not even
a bit. Don't listen back. So, here it is. Letterkenny.
Full review. Right here, right now. Open your
ear holes. Because Letterkenny is good. But it
simply is not better than a goofy movie. Oh,
my. Fucking God, he threw us a curveball. But
it is better than an extremely goofy movie. So
I don't agree with that. Hey. However. That's
gospel. No, it's over. However. It's closed.
A goofy movie is the shit. It's a really good
movie. I've only ever seen the first one and
I'll never see the second one. I'm assuming you're
going to tell us all about it. Yeah, okay. So
the goofy movie is really good. I recently watched
it. I wanted to be Max when I was a kid. Max
is great. He was the coolest shit. So I watched
the movie. I'm pulling up my. Stopwatch. I'm
pulling up my stopwatch. Give me one minute.
Why is this happening? Give me one minute. This
is what we do. You do movies. I do the stopwatch.
Boom. Go. All right. So the goof movie is really
cool because it actually follows in all the major
steps of a true musical. I actually watched a
YouTuber. Sample is his name. No, not Sample.
Sorry. Sideways. Shit, I got to make sure I remember
this name. Yeah, good use of time. Damn it. Ah,
shit. There's a very specific musical structure.
Really cool. Yeah, the musical structure, it
actually follows in terms of a major musical
like any other Disney movie does, which is really
cool. You have the first song, which is the I
Want song, plus like the sort of broad, you know,
everyone gets in, introduces the world, introduces
Max and what Max wants. Here's the curveball,
though. Goofy gets a song later on, on the open
row, where he's taking Max on a vacation on the
open row, which is pulling Max away from his
wants. And the song is, it's actually the villain
song, because Goofy is the villain of a Goofy
movie. And only when they actually come together
and sing their ballad towards the end is villain
Goofy defeated, because true understanding is
made between Max and Goofy. It's actually beautiful.
When you go and watch the movie, and you actually
follow these beats, and you look for these beats,
it's really, really, really, really fucking cool.
That's it. See? Under a minute. You actually
got it in just under a minute. Yeah, because
I'm amazing. I did not expect that. It takes
a really high IQ to understand it. David, just
for that. Just for that. Take this button. I
thought you were going to say, look at this button.
No, I'm not going to use my button. I would love
a button. Going into the finale of this arc soon,
and I would love a button. You still got a few
in there. Those are our butts. No, for me to
use against you. I know, I know. Do you want
me to do... I will pull that shit out. Oh, my
gosh. Oh, it's fun. Good banter, guys. I had
fun. I was honestly hoping that we would talk
a little bit more about Letter Kenny and a little
bit less about Goofy Movie, but... Oh, shit.
Did you expect that? No, it's okay. You know
what? No, he wanted to put it to bed, so he put
it to bed. I put it to bed. All right, well,
you can wake it up. if you want to talk about
it after you've seen more of the show. Are you
going to watch more of the show? It's legitimately
good. I really like it a lot. It's very fun.
It's very fun. That's great. Well, I'll be happy
to hear your thoughts maybe once you've seen
it. It's a different kind of humor than Friends.
Friends is very comfortable humor where Letterkenny
is actually like, in all honesty, you can't compare
the two. Friends is comfort humor. Letterkenny
is work. It's work to keep up with Letterkenny's
humor. It's like watching Community, but even
harder. Right. You're not going to be like doing
chores, you know, doing the dishes or cooking
while you're watching Letterkenny. You carry
jokes in a scene and you're going to miss all
of them because the accents are very heavy. Yeah.
The talking's very fast. It's like me talking,
but with an accent. It's terrible. It's like
dance talking. It's terrible. So, yeah. Dance
isn't in this episode. Dance isn't in this episode,
though. Because, thank you, Steven, for taking
that. That's a good one. Hey, Jerry, cut Steven
out. Oh, that's a good one, though, because we're
back in San... Dad, you can't silence me! Because
we're back in San Sebastian City. Back beneath...
What the fuck was the... Salazar. Salazar, yeah.
I was waiting to see if you'd get... Back beneath
Salazar. You've just gotten a message from Crispin.
You're all getting ready for this next day. Four
o 'clock, supposed to meet the Pigman. Oh, wait.
I guess you're late to meet the Pigman, because
I just realized that you did this message a little
later on in the day. Oh, come on. I said Pigman
was meeting at four. It was four o 'clock there.
Oh, no, the time stream. The time stream. You're
on your way. You're almost to the Pigman now.
So let's... We're standing at the door, about
to knock on the door. That means we have to kill
the Pigman's brother. That sounds canon. God,
the time stream. All right, so... We're not going
to open up on the scene we ended off on last
time, because I like to be very confusing and
obtuse. Let's rewind back to Salazar before you
left, in case there's any last things you want
to do. We'll cut to the talking on the phone
when you get there. So during these things that
we want to do, does that include a long rest?
You got a long rest following your fight with
the big man. Oh, yeah. You slept through, like,
you basically went to sleep around, like, 2 in
the morning, so 8 hours from that is whatever
the hell that is. 2 in the morning? Damn, fantasy
is wild. That would never happen in my real life.
That's every night for me. 2 in the morning,
we're about to wake up. So let's open up on Salazar.
We'll say at this point it's, like, 2 .33 o 'clock.
You're getting ready to leave. Actually, probably
2 o 'clock, because it's going to take you an
hour to get to the pig man at 4, so... late afternoon,
early afternoon, whatever, you are preparing.
If there's anything else you don't, if there's
anything you want to do that's not like, you
know, immediately going to be before what's happening,
if you want to do any preparation outside, you
know, get anything done, we can sort of retcon
that in, or you can tell me now. I have a little
idea for this next segment that might help you
if there's something you realize you would have
liked to do but didn't get a chance to do it
now or didn't think to do it now. But we'll touch
on that next episode when it matters more. Okay.
For now, you are gathering together, I'm going
to assume, for one last meeting with Paloma before
you head out to meet the pig man. And from there,
journey to Papalotion Hill, to the manor of its
men Del Prado, to a party of elites from different
worlds, and to potential answers to many mysteries.
Blanche is going to realize how impractical high
heels are and take them off. I told you, sir,
it's not your look. Paloma was going to only
borrow them, but it just doesn't work for me.
That's a shame. Look nice on you. If I had actually
taken that sip, that would have been a spit tick.
People are going to be asking who we are and
why we're there. What are we going to tell them?
Well, we're the pig man's new retinue. I am,
of course, his sidekick now. I guess? I suppose
it's true. And, well, I'm a bit of somebody in
the world. After all, I might be able to help
us in if there's any trouble. I'm your bodyguard.
Yes. Yes. I like this. A bodyguard. I do wonder.
Actually, I don't know. He probably didn't hear
that Samuel LaRoche knows you and is at this
party. That was mentioned before in Moreno. Is
this something that Dresden would have brought
up to everybody? You might get recognized there.
That's worth considering. Right. Um, I don't
think that's something that he would bring up.
Okay. Do you intend to take any measures against
being recognized? Yes, yes, I was going to. Okay,
cool. I haven't decided what yet. Right, sounds
good. But, yes. Yes, a bodyguard. Yes, I like
that. Quite good. And Ramin can... Where's Ramin?
Why is he late? We have to leave soon, and...
Loma just kind of like looks out at a sort of
clock and, uh, yes, we should talk before you
go, but you should all be here. He wasn't with
me. Where did he go? He was in your room, Dresden,
last time you would have seen him. You guys shared
a room here. Right. Did I see him leave? He was
staying behind when you went out. Right. Still
engaging prayer. I'll go check on the boy. He's
probably deep in his prayers. Okay. Uh, you're
going alone? You stroll down the cavern a short
ways, take a turn to a side tunnel. You see a
few doors there where your rooms are, basically,
and you move up to the door. Yeah, she knocks
on the... As you reach out, you do hear low murmurs
from the other side. Very, very hard to make
out with your passive perception. Ooh, man, that's
just not Blanche. She's going to... Instead of
knocking, she'll push the door open. What? Stealthily
at all, or...? No, not stealthily. I'm sorry.
Yeah, that's fine. I'm sorry. It's just not what
she would do. She wouldn't want to. I do like
this, that you don't knock. So the door is sort
of, you open the door. You do hear with your
passive at least some murmuring word. Maybe it's
prayer. But there's something, I will just say,
there's something almost musical in the words.
A little strange. And then as the door opens,
just like you catch a quick glimpse. What's your
passive? Passive perception is only 10. Only
10. Ramin lowers his hands very quickly from
the bed where they were shaped down in a sort
of praying motion and slides them into his pocket.
Yeah, I know it would have been probably cool
or fun or interesting or good for the show, but.
It's not Blanche. No, that's it. Dude, that's
awesome. I love that shit. I love it. I'm sorry.
I mean, it's... Oh, no, no, no. It's fine. It's
fine. It's time to go. That was a beautiful prayer.
Oh, yes. Can you tell me its meaning on the walk?
Of course. Yes. You heard the words. I take it...
And he's moving towards the door. I take it you
have not heard much of Celestial. Uh, no, actually,
my languages are simply Common and Aquan. He
looks very... I think Ramin's the kind of guy
that you share this, like, random information,
he just gets like, wow! Like, really excited
about it. Oh, that's... Yes, I have learned some
celestial in my time and the teachings of the
Sunweaver. It was a prayer to, well, the Sunweaver,
to his agents. For guidance and help in what's
to come. Well, I hope the Sunweaver... I hope
he grants your prayer. Yes. I have a good feeling.
And as you and Ramin arrive back in the main
chamber, where Paloma, Dresden, and Jaune wait,
Paloma sort of steps out ahead and prepares to
speak to you all. One last debriefing before
you go in. All right. Do we have a plan? Honestly,
like I said, I was just throwing seeds out there.
I didn't think we'd get this far, but hell, we're
here. Well, the plan will be... Well, I'm honest,
Paloma. I don't know that we have much of a plan,
but make our way around the party, talk to who
we can talk to, see what sort of information
we can rustle up, and I think the plan will have
to evolve organically. Right now, we don't know
what we don't know. And I should say, you'd...
Actually, at this point, I still don't know about
the It's Been Sun. You might realize that. But
yeah, you won't know about that for like another
hour. So at this point, that's going to be new
information when you get to Pigman's house. Then
we'll get the sending stone message. Then you'll
get the message. I need to ask you something,
though. Yeah. Do you have something that could
hide this? And Dresden removes his eyepatch to
reveal a crater. Well, when it comes to makeup.
No one quite like me, but I don't think I can
make up that away. Underground revolutionaries
don't have a disguise kit, perhaps? I could disguise
some of it, but it's a shame with a face that
handsome. Skars become you, huh? Wink. Fuck.
I could probably wear some kind of disguise,
but, I mean, we're talking a whole eye. I mean,
it's gonna be hard to cover it. But, what about
a full helm? If you're going in, you're already
armored. Won't be weird if you're part of a...
You have a helm? Underground barracks, bunker.
Yeah, we have a helm. We have a lot of helms.
Oh, but you don't have a disguise kit. Not a
disguise kit, but there is a helmet lying around.
What disguise kit? DM here, what disguise kit
is going to cover an entire eye crater? I mean,
I just figured that, like, I don't know, what
mechanically can a disguise kit do? I will roll
a die to see how well this goes. I'm just trying
to figure out what it's going to look like to,
like, have a full crater eye be okay looking.
It's fantasy. I'm looking at a list of... You
can do whatever you want. Let me look at a list
of spells here. Actually, yeah, we have a spare
eye supply. Jesus Christ. Disguise kit in the
back in case... I'm the asshole. A helmet will
work just fine. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yeah, this one here. You'd think, you know, we'll
spend two hours doing makeup instead of putting
a fucking helmet on. I'm going to go read about
a disguise kit real fast. You read about that.
Well, I get a helm. Paloma just snaps out. And
Grindy? Is that the fellow's name? Oh, my God.
I feel so bad. I forgot his name. Which one?
The old Grindy? Yes, Grindy. Old Grindy. It's
Grindy. Grindy, Grindy. Sometimes I feel like
I have a better memory than you do. Sometimes
you do. It's very selective. Look, in this episode
alone, I might have to voice, like, ten people.
So, Grindy, I didn't even think about him. Ah,
yes. I will get you that disguise kit. No, Helm.
That's the one. I'll be right back. Yeah, we
settled on Helm. That's a very honestly wise
choice. Read your stupid shit. Disguise kit.
All right. Come on. This pouch of cosmetics,
hair dye, small props, fake eyes, lets you disguise
and change. Fuck you and your stupid. Lets you
create disguises that change your physical appearance.
Okay. You don't add that text that literally
says fake eyes? Yeah, that was definitely made
up. It's incredible. It's incredible. Good job,
Wizards. You have made me eat my own shit tonight.
No, but it does say, you know, the kit lets you
add proficiency bonus to any ability checks that
you make to create a visual disguise. Yeah, we
literally have this spare eyes and disguise kit.
You want one of those or a helm? It's your choice,
honestly, at this point. No, at this point, I
want a helm. All right, see, that's... All right,
Grinny comes up with a helm. Gives it to you.
It's a full helm. Looks pretty rad. Doesn't add
to your AC because that's not how helms work,
but it will hide your face. Cool. And I'm still
in all my normal armor, so it actually kind of
looks okay. Yeah, it totally matches your armor.
It looks like... Yep. Yeah, they had a good surplus
of them, so they found one that would look like
a full set. Cool. Yep. Perfect. Nice disguise,
soldier boy. Wink. They probably gave you some
nicer stuff because you had like a... You and
Crispin had taken like... Like street clothes.
Yeah, in the old city. Those aren't going to
fly here, so they probably give you something
nicer to go over your armor, you know? Cool.
And heels, if you want them, Blanche. They're
just not sensible. Yeah, well, maybe not for
you. Down here in the bunker? Sure, if I was
walking around all day. All right, back to the
plan. Or the lack of plan. Honestly... That's
fine. We... I didn't think we'd get this far.
This is... I mean, this is all crazy, but...
You're getting into the party. Like I said before,
they can't risk embarrassment. There are elites
from all over the world here. If Pigmen can really
get you in there, once you're there, they're
not gonna risk a whole scene dragging you out.
Not unless you really, really fuck up. So, just
try to mind your P's and Q's. Hang around. Learn
what you can learn. If you can get deeper in,
maybe it's in his private office. You might learn
something there. I'm sure it's guarded. I'm sure
there's security. I mean, it'd be crazy to think
he doesn't have armored guards, at least through
his own manor. Probably all around the party,
too. Play it careful. We might get something.
All right. Eastman's office. Tread carefully.
Don't fuck up. And on top of that, these elites,
I mean, these rich folk, they're always trying
to kill each other at each other's throats. Itchbin
goes down, they benefit. Find the right person
to talk to, maybe they'll help too. Perhaps we
could work them against each other. That's very
wise, Paloma. And remember that curing Serenno
is our priority. If we can find the source of
it and learn how to stop it, we can save a lot
of lives. Good, good people. Good revolutionaries.
More of them die every damn night. And if I find
the source, I'll extinguish it immediately. Hell
yeah. Apart from that, I guess any evidence of
Marvel or Tressner wrongdoing could go a long
way, though. You know, it's still a hell of a
long shot. The Tressner has our speaker on their
side. They even have the network on their side.
I'm not sure our actions tonight will really
put a dent in their damned industrial armor.
But we all decided long ago that the fight is
worth it. We're not content to work ourselves
to death so that our children and our children's
children can do the same. Even if we fall here.
We can go to La Catrina with pride in our efforts.
I think Ramin steps forward there. Perhaps it
is not such a long shot after all. Where the
righteous battle corruption, the Sunweaver sends
miracles. And perhaps we will see a miracle tonight.
Already, we've seen such wonders. Blanche, Dresden,
have you not already understand the significance
of what we've heard? Just last night, in the
ring, In the pig pen. You don't realize it. What
have you... What pieces have you put together?
Enlighten us. The pig man. You've got to admit.
Admit that he is murdered. Oh, yes, yes. That
Marthil Ironworks has covered up murder. Under
truth. Under truth. He could not lie. In the
court of Atash or the speakers. Should they use
such methods? He's a high -ranking luminary.
His word will be taken seriously. We already
hold evidence against Marfil. Clear evidence.
Getting Pigman in front of somebody like that
who can force that information out of him will
be no easy task either. I personally, Ramin,
I choose to stick to the task at hand. My focus
right now is on Serenno. He sort of nods and
in a way looks a little disappointed. We can't
get that justice until we solve this one. I...
yes. Yes, I understand. But should... should
we find any information against... against Marfil?
Any more wrongdoings? Any more evidence? I implore
that we investigate further. We can break this
cycle. We just need more. I... I agree. And fast.
I agree. I'm afraid of losing focus. As long
as our first priority is Serenno and we all agree
on that, everything else is gravy. We're not
there to blow shit up. We're there to get what
we need and get out of there alive. Yes, of course,
yes. If we risk too much, Jules will die as a
result, and you as well, Ramin. You are quite
afflicted. And around eight o 'clock, when the
night of the numbered truly starts... My affliction
will return, but I will be at your side. We will
see this through, and we will focus on Serenno.
And your passive perceptions are not high enough
to see Ramin's hand gently move to his pocket
and then move away from it. Can I roll a better
perception? Nah, you took too long. I left a
gap to see, and no one said anything, so I was
like, cool, passives. Perseverance, yeah. Good
to go. You guys ready? I think we're losing time.
Is everybody ready? Yes, sir. I can't believe
we're going to a party with a pig man. Sorry.
Yes, sir. Sorry, no. Focused. Yes. Sir. Jean,
I believe you'll fit right in this party. I think
you should maybe be a little less rigid once
we arrive. Should I? Revert to my former form,
sir. Courtly self. You are ever the chameleon.
Very well. I shall do my part. See what I can
learn there. I'm not going to like this. And
Dresden does a little slow bow. I'm at your service.
Well, well. My. Just try to really get him into
it. The little haughtiness returns to him. He's
been sort of deflated ever since, you know, obviously
the events of yesterday. And now he's like poised
a little taller, a little higher, smiling a little
more like, very well then, yes. Let's do this.
Yes, very well, soldier boy. Very well. And you
guys, you guys hit the street. You're moving
along and it's four o 'clock. You're about to
meet the pig man. Should be a little timey -wimey.
But now we're going to get that message because
time was rough where you were in the mountains
when this was sent out. We're going to say right
now, before you, as you're like moving through
Fiesta Town, you're about to turn up to his thing
and the stone goes off. Dresden, you answer it
because canonically you did. And you hear Crispin's
message and you say a message back. And as you're
standing there in the middle of the yard, Blanche
says, Well, boys, looks like we have to kill
the pig man's brother. Or something like that.
What? I... What? What? What? What? Why do you
think this? The pig man? Yes? Is Eatsman's son?
The pig man? I just explained this to you. When?
Right now, after I heard it. Through this stone.
Yes, but how do you think... What? For the audience,
what's the connecting point between these two
thoughts? I think we did it off mic. Wait, didn't
we know that... Didn't Pigman say that he was
Eastman's son? No. He said that he had a brother.
Maybe. He doesn't know his origins at all. Oh.
So we're just guessing. You're guessing. You're
guessing. Well, we're guessing... We're guessing
that Pigman is Eastman's son because the Pigman
said that he had a brother and this evil guy...
Wait, hold on. Yes? Shall I follow along? No,
I... Yes, the Tlacatacolo, yes. Tlacatacolo.
There wasn't enough words for Crispin to tell
them why... Pause, one sec. Pause, one sec. Yeah,
that confused the shit out of me. Well, you see,
Tadpole. Yes? We know the Pigman has a brother.
We know the Pigman's origins are... Strange and
mysterious. If this eatsman's son reverts during
the day, then we can assume that that's not the
pig man. So if we make the family connection,
the pus pieces slide together here. Am I crazy?
Am I the only one thinking this? I think John
actually scratches his chin and says, Well, actually,
while you mention this, it is odd, isn't it?
The pig man discovered by Marfil Ironworks, brought
out as a luminary by them. Discovered or created?
Nobody knows who he is, and you'd think a celebrity
like that, somebody would come forward, some
parents, some origin. You could be right. How
does a behemoth like that go unnoticed, have
an unknown past? If we fit the pig man into this...
frankly, awful narrative, it starts to line up.
I think we may get a lot more clarity on that
when we see how everybody acts around the big
man and how he acts with them. Yes, I suppose
sticking to the plan of not really having a plan
is going to plan. It's the only plan. I'm on
the non -plan plan. I forgot what movie that's
from. As you stand here, not planning, the door
to the manor, to the pigman's estate sort of
opens up. The very large door swings open. The
pigman starts walking out like, no, hang on.
No, just a few more minutes, Mary. Come on. No,
no, no, no, no, no, no. We must go. We're not
going to be late. Okay. Not again. Not again.
Not tonight. Okay. Come on. Come on. And he goes,
well, I, oh, oh, hey. Hey, guys. And he starts
waving to you. You start moving towards the estate.
Mary. You see this small woman of middle age
wearing a long formal white dress and wearing
very heavy makeup. And as you start to approach
or as they start to approach you and she catches
you, her smile is just simply too wide. Just
too wide. Her eyes just catching you and looking,
scanning all four of you. Ah, Master Pigman.
Good evening. Hi there. Hi. I'm... You must be
fans of the Pigmen. Unfortunately, he can't do
autographs tonight. No meetups. Sorry, we're
in a bit of a rush right now. But please have
a joyous night as remembered. Come on. Come on.
Come on, Pigmen. Oh, no, no, no, no. Mary, no
worries. I invited them to Itchmint. We had a
little throwdown at the old pig pen last night.
Mary's smiling face just twitches. I assumed
we were expected. No, no, you weren't. So sorry,
we can't do last minute invites. Not tonight.
That's not simply... Mary, I invited them. They're
my guests and my friends. She's her eyes back
and forth. We don't want to cause any trouble,
Mary. We're here for the big man. Look, I...
And you're a... Well, if... It helps. Sean Franklin
steps forward, spear raised. I am Sean Franklin
Montelio, heir to Helps Montelio, future lord
of the Nine Pools and bearer of the banner of
the Golden Bay. Mary just sort of stares, still
smiling, her eyes showing no recognition. Sean
deflates just a little bit. And son of Zinda's
seventh king of coin, DiPiero Montelio. DiPiero
Montelio! And this, at this, her eyes go wide.
This gets her attention. Do you know who my father
is? Literally, yeah. My father heard you are
looking for potential new investors in your company.
I'm not pleased with having to take such a roundabout
method to be noticed by your people, but, well,
if you bring me and my retinue to your little
soiree, I suppose your superiors could be quite
pleased with the results. I do have some money
under my name. Oh, nice of you. Please do introduce
yourselves to this small person. Did David just
saying that possibly have implications for something
happening in Zinda later on? Oh, absolutely.
I mean, you knew something was somebody. I think
even, like, to you, Dresden, to everyone here,
like, I mean, Blanche obviously knows Jean's
history, but he's not just some lord of some
kingdom in Noiri. He is... His father is one
of the Kings of Coin. These are the top merchant
rulers of the city of San Jacinto. These are
powerful people. And even just in this group
right now, I think all of you probably feel some
shock. Everyone that's not Blanche hearing this.
Well, Blanche steps forward into a rigid salute.
And for an old lady, she looks quite commanding.
She moves like a soldier. I am Blanche Trudeau,
Master of Defense. For the Golden Bay. She's
gonna be my sidekick. What? He just looks back,
looks at you, Dresden. I'm Grunt. It's Grunt.
You're a Grunt? Okay, I wanted to make sure,
so you're a Grunt. No. Oh. He gave me the name
Grunt. You're Grunt the Grunt. That is... Oh,
my. Jean -Pierre looks so proud. He's so happy.
Just nodding and bobbing. Oh, wait, Ramin's the
last one. Hi, I'm Ramin. I'm, uh, his priest.
Ramin Rasool? I'm sure the name, uh, carries
its own weight around here. Again, I sort of,
like, a little confusion, just, Ramin Rasool,
uh... The boy resurrected by Atash himself? Sworn
to the Sunweaver, I did not realize that it was
in fashion for lords of Zinda, of Nwari, to worship
the deity of Anchor and Sengar, but I do not
judge. I do not judge my lord. He's like, let's
get ready to yell. No, no, no, I'm very sorry.
Very well, very well. You seem to be dressed
well enough. I suppose I could get you in. Yes,
yes, we have to go. We have to go now. Yeah,
Blanche is like looking expectantly. And she
just like spins on her heels and starts like
moving, like very fast walking around the corner.
I told you it'd be all right. Blanche walks up
close to Mary. Mary, I don't want to embarrass
myself, and I'm sure you don't want us to be
embarrassing either. Can you give me a quick
rundown of who should be there, who I should
know, and what I should say? All right. Well,
the guest list is quite something. Of the 13
Trezina, there will be three in attendance. But
they are the big three, as everyone knows. Donya
Stella, do not talk to Donya Stella. Don't do
it. Dona Panko, he should be fine. He'll be in
his drinks. Four hours ago, so he should be safe
enough for you to speak with. Don Yeziko will
be very busy with the dignitaries. She won't
bother with you, so that should be fine. Apart
from that, there is, oh, Samuel LaRoche of the
LaRoche family of Sarul Tithos. He will be in
attendance. Very close friends with Don Yeziko.
Of course, it's me himself. And, oh, you must
know, you must know Kejo Kamal. Does Blanche
know Kejo Kamal? I would say you do. Okay. Kejo
Kamal is the founder of the Crystal Network,
a magical architect who basically, he's been
mentioned a few times in the show before, but
he's a magical architect from Senza, the progeny
of Senza's Anissa Academy, currently High Priest,
the Faceless Prophet. Kejo Kamal is a very, very
big deal. He's the one that, upon entering the
Aetherial, or the Auroral Diamond, discovered
it had this transmission property. And so being
to hone it, being to, he created a world town,
um, pulling structures up from the diamond itself.
He can do things in the world diamond that nobody
else can figure out. Uh, they say he is perhaps
the truest genius in all the worlds. Yes. Yes.
We know. We know. We've, we've got you. Come
on. Um, and, uh, um, I mean, other than that,
just people. Uh, important people. Rich people.
People with money. People with power. Um, I would
suggest you just don't talk to anyone if you're
not him. She thumbs Jean Franklin over her shoulder.
Ah, shit. Okay. Be seen and not heard. Please.
I understand. Yeah, that's no problem for Justin.
At this point, he's playing the part, and he's
just not even talking at all. Hell yeah. He'll
speak if asked a direct question, but... I assume
it won't be a problem that we're wearing Marfil
-branded weapons? And she points to her Marfil
plus one longsword. And again, her eyes sort
of go wide and it's like a twitch. Oh, he gave
you his sample weapons that were supposed to
be handed out at the event next week. That's
great. That's great. Hey, we'll get two more.
Magical plus one. That's not a word in the world.
Magical weapons. Well, if the great Marfil Ironworks
happens to figure out plus two, give me a ring.
We have ascending stone. You guys are pushing
up through Fiesta Town, and you begin to move
up Poblacion Hill. You've seen this looming over
everything in this city. The last day or two
you've been here, and now you're getting in close.
You've seen the tall structures jutting out over
everything. These huge manors belonging to the
Tresina, to the richest merchants, to the highest
ups in Marfle Ironworks and the company. You've
seen the lush grass, the immaculate sort of fountains
and gardens, perfectly trimmed hedges. I mean...
In the middle of a desert, this is an absolute
oasis. Beautiful. The scent of flowers heavy
in the air. The only place even close to this
you've seen in the old city is the Rosas Estate
under Serapio, which rests just on the border
of this whole different world. As you move, you
see this large set of armor. No. and every plate
just interlocking perfectly begins to move around
a manor's corner and move down the road towards
you. You can see there's nothing awkward about
its movements. It's so human, so perfectly lithe,
so easy. It just kind of moves down the road
towards you. There's a red glow, powerful, emanating
from the tiniest slits in the armor where...
The pieces sort of meet. And this thing moves
towards you. Mary, you could feel her tense up
next to you and ahead of you as this moves past
her and then stops. Helmet turns. That red glow
shines on the four of you. Pigman is totally
at ease in the back. Blanche also at least projects
the image of being at ease. Relax, and it'll
let us go. Could Blanche learn anything by rolling
Arcana, perhaps? Something we don't already know?
That's interesting. Yeah, go ahead and roll Arcana.
Sweet. It's too early for buttons. 17. 17. It's
powerful magic. Cool. There must be sigil work
running inside the armor itself. Maybe you've
heard commercials before that talked about the...
AG5 and their arcane core. In order to, like,
take this thing down, you'd have to either overpower
the core or harm it, crack it, dent it, anything
you could do to it. Probably not good enough
to learn if there's any, like, elemental weakness?
No, I don't believe there is, and I'll tell you
that. Oh, jeez. Okay. As you size this thing
up, as it sizes you up, the head turns back.
This thing steps away. And as you watch it go,
the only thing you do note with your check is
that it has no weaknesses, but luckily many immunities
or resistances. It's tough. It's strong. You
can feel the strength. And there are many of
them, apparently. As you move higher and higher,
you see more. Some standing at rest along the
roadside. Some before the doors of other manors.
And as you get higher and higher on the hill,
the buildings get taller and taller until they
completely dwarf everything down below. Even
the last building on the hill before it. Until
you take a turn and you go up higher. Until you
hit the apex of the hill. The highest building
and the grandest and tallest. Eatsman's Manor
is likely unlike anything you've seen before.
absolutely immaculate, huge. This great pathway
leading up through just like this, absolutely
just this lush, beautiful garden with wild roses.
And at the front, just a number of guests are
sort of streaming in into this sort of main hallway.
There are a few of these armored guard standing
at rest just off the road as you approach. And
you guys are led into the building. Here we go.
Let's do it. You know, people are immediately
going to think what we did to manipulate pig
man. We are going to, we're going to be on everybody's
immediate radar. I will say you're really, we're
really, really nice. You're very well known as
you approach. Um, these are, I mean, there's
people like, Hey man, all these people in probably
much nicer, uh, you know, attire than you, um,
as you approach turn and even like these sort
of rich snobbish folk, uh, their eyes fall on
the pig man and they just smile. Just like, Oh,
it's him. The big man. The pig man. The pig man.
Everyone's, like, all excited. And he's like,
hey, what's going on? Hey, Larry. Yeah. Oh, yeah,
we're doing a show later on. I'll show you what's
up. I'm going to pick up a, I don't know, like,
well, rhino. That's what he brought last time.
We'll see what crazy things he's asked me to
do. It's here tonight, the festival, you know,
once the night's going hot. Oh, hey, these are
my friends. And all heads look at you as you
move into the door. Great. Mary's. Smile. Looks
like he's going to break her face off. See, oh
my God. What I want to do, what Stephen wants
to, or what Blanche wants to do is announce John
Franklin. What Stephen is not capable of doing
is repeating his title, John's title, which Blanche
surely is capable of. Can we sort of understand
that Stephen doesn't know it, but Blanche does?
Yes, yeah. Okay. You do the whole spiel. Presenting
Jean Franklin de Montelio, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. People start chatting. Jean steps
forward as haughty as can be. Well, well, where
are the refreshments? Where are the drinks? I've
had a glass in my hand. Not at all. For some
time. Please, please, lead me. I must speak with
Yitzmin immediately. My father would have words.
And he starts moving away with them. And as long
as you're cool with it, Jean Franklin's going
to leave the party for now to schmooze and perhaps
learn information. And later on, I'll let you
all check on that. Okay. Sounds good. So how
does that work with Dresden? Are you going with
him? I'm his bodyguard. Oh, that's Dresden's
choice. We're sticking together then. Yeah, I'm
not. He's not going to let. John Franklin go
along. Then we're putting the camera staying
on John because you guys are going together.
Yeah, Dresden's going. Tell him. Ramin, here
with me. Ah, yes, of course. That sounded enthusiastic.
Oh, it was supposed to be like out of the corner
from under my breath. I'm so sorry. No. No, I
like you, Ramin. I'm just trying to speak in
a way that isn't noticeable. Oh, yes, of course.
All right, so Blanche and Ramin will take off
into the party in a different direction than
John and Dresden. The first thing you guys notice
is the party is not actually happening inside
the manor. As you push through, there's a number
of guests here, but they're all sort of moving
in a slow stream out the back door. You see this
huge, ornate, full sort of entrance hall. You
know, grand staircases moving up to a higher
floor on either side of the room in sort of a
spiraling manner. You see just like the full
sort of upper floor above you. Great chandelier
hanging down, all the works. But no one's hanging
out here. They're pushing on ahead out the back
door where this grand terrace is set in the edge
of the building into the side of the hill. And
as you follow through with this and as you're
stepping your different groups out into this
real party where you see there's guards, armored
guard, inside the building as well, staying at
the staircases, very clearly you're supposed
to move through. Blanche is going to put her
back sort of up against the wall and cross her
arms, waiting for the crowd to pass by. Maybe
she's standing sort of in lockstep with the...
Steel defenders, whatever they are. Change of
planner, I mean. Move on, boy. Interesting. Oh.
What? He's still moving. I guess you just stop
and he's kind of drifting away from you. Yeah,
I don't know if it's a dumb move, but that's
what Blanche is going to do for now. And when
there does come a point where there's sort of
nobody really in earshot, she'll look up to one
of these suits of armor. Could you direct me
to the little turtle's room? Helmhead just looks
at you. They really got to fix the squeaky helmet
issue. The seafood here in the desert does. And
she pats on her under shell. Does not agree.
Of all the ways this could go. I did not expect
that one. Neither did I. Neither did I. But we're
going outside, and I don't want to be outside.
Hey, let's get more unexpected. You speak to
this armor. It just stares at you for a moment.
And then you hear a voice say, Little Turtles
Room, right. I can help with that. Why don't
you know, right? I'm an admirer of your work,
actually. You know, your pupil does you much
honor. We know each other. In fact, we worked
together. You turn and look. I'm thinking Blanche
is still looking at this guardian suit. Wow,
they talk too, huh? Oh my God, that's what I
thought too. So you look at that. No, hey, I
feel a tapping. You turn and look down and see
that the loudest outfit here of all these people
is worn by... Possibly the smallest form. It's
a bright orange suit contrasted by a sky blue
tie, red tinted spectacles looking at you from
a smiling, friendly gnomish face topped by a
balding head badly disguised with a comb over.
And this figure says, Brunner Song. It's good
to meet you. Goddamn. Let's pan away from this.
You asshole. Let's fan away from this. I was
waiting for the moment when he was going to pop
up again. I didn't think it would be here. Just
when I thought I was going to get away with it,
too. Oh, holy shit. Okay. Okay. Meanwhile, Jean
Franklin steps out onto the terrace behind Dresden,
just behind him in full armor. And you see just
this wide, beautiful set. I mean, like, this
is, this is. A hell of a balcony, porch, terrace,
whatever you want to call it. There's pools and
springs set into the stones of the terrace, which
is crazy considering we're in the middle of a
desert. But just like fountains bubbling up,
spraying, people are full on dressing down and
swimming with glasses in hand. You see exquisite
hedges shaped into various animals. An insane
buffet spread on both sides of the place. Just
a few long tables. Food steaming the air rich
with just like sweet, sweet spice. There's multiple
bars stocked to the nine with fine liquors from
nearly every world. A stage in one corner with
live music and dancers. And a sort of space there
for more people to come forward and dance. And
just many tables set around for eating and drinking.
Just a party. I think Jean -Francois stops. Oh,
I start. I would tell you, I have missed this
part of things. It used to be fun being all Jean
-Francois Montelio for a night. Don't you think,
Dresden? Sorry, Grant. Yes, sir. That's my lord.
Come along, Grant. Jerry's just staring at Agnes.
Yes, my lord. And then he just goes silent. Well,
close enough. He's just pushing past some people,
moving around, and let's note some of the people
you see here as you step outside. I think, imagine
you're just kind of taking, your eyes are shooting
around, looking for, like, important people,
and I think... Yeah. Okay. The pig man, I think,
walks out, and he's kind of looking around like,
huh? Hey, where's Wyatt? And he's kind of...
Starts wandering away in one direction. Mary
sees him go, and I think she's torn. Like, him
or you? Him or you? And she suddenly just bolts
over to the two of you. Like, okay, all right.
I have to stay by the big man because he is going
to do something stupid and awful. But before
that happens, I just want to give you a quick
rundown, okay? Yes, yes, we can use that. All
right. Just over there. She points over to, uh,
sort of like over by the back entrance, kind
of. keenly watching everyone, a wrinkled old
dwarven woman with a face set in a scowl, just
wearing a fancy pantsuit, stony gray, stark white
hair, immaculately curled. She's kind of just
like, you see she's very easily scanning the
room while sort of chatting with some people
nearby. That is Donya Estella. Do not talk to
Donya Estella. Do not go near Donya Estella.
Don't even look at her. Stop. You're looking
at her. Don't do that. Don't think about her.
Nobody tells my lord who to talk to. And who
not to talk to. Now, now, Grant, it's fine. We'll
allow it this time. Just keep your manners about
you. Okay, okay. Um, over there, he points to,
like, one of the tables. Or, actually, they're
probably just sitting right at the bar as a man
who's just, like, leaning over it. He's harmless.
That's Don Apanko, another member of the Tresina.
Um, and you see this middle -aged man with a
round face, wearing a thin, waxed mustache. His
eyes already carry a haze. He swoops frequently
from a glass of just a clear liquid. Um... A
small group surrounds him at his table, and he's
just laughing heartily with them over here and
there after slurring out a joke. So, he's fine.
He's harmless. He won't remember anything tomorrow
if you do anything that's awkward. And he's dressing
up. Hey, good to know. You, my lord, might want
to speak to Doña Zico. In gestures to a halfling
woman in her mid -twenties, wearing a yellow
dress adorned with weaves of fresh flowers. Her
hair looks to have been colored a bright blonde,
though a touch of dark brown lingers in her roots.
Um, and she's kind of just moving to the party,
like touching, you know, hands sort of like moving
across backs and touching hands and, and just
for a very, very casually, um, being very close
to a lot of the people there who seem to appreciate
the closeness. Um, she's very good at working
a crowd. Dona Zico is, is like, as she might
have been explained, like Dona Zico is sort of
the, uh, off -world favorite of the Trezina.
She's very good at bringing investors and, uh,
bringing friends to Saint -Etienne. So, She would
like to talk to you, I'm sure. I think she also
gestures towards the far edge of the balcony
where it oversees, like looking down the hill,
down over most of Fiesta Town and a good portion
of the Ironworks as well. Just this huge view
that encompasses most of the city. And there
are two figures kind of standing on their own,
almost space around them. You see a tiefling
with dark red skin. a slight slender man with
a prominent nose holding up a set of tiny spectacles.
His dress is surprisingly casual, a comfortable
silken tunic, black with matching pants. His
demeanor seems to be almost awkward, though.
He's kind of, like, nervous and a little, like,
hunched over. His hands are constantly rubbing,
his posture swaying. He looks to be middle -aged.
That's Itzmendel Prado. That's the man. That's
the guy. Give him a space. Don't talk to Itzman.
We don't talk to Itzman. Nobody talks to Itzman,
okay? Okay, great. She's looking at you, Dresden.
Jaune's kind of like looking around. And then
you see beside him is an old, dark -skinned human
man in an ornate purple robe. His neck is heavy
with golden necklaces, brilliant gems woven into
them. His fingers are covered with golden rings,
many of which bear small, magical inscriptions.
His hair is a strange sight, white over his head,
but shifting to an auburn as it runs to an enormous
braid down his back. He leans on a staff of gnarled
wood, reinforced by bands of gold and topped
by a huge, luminous diamond. This is, like, probably
the most standout figure in the entire room,
and a lot of eyes catch him. He is standing next
to Eastman Del Prado, the man himself, and yet
this figure seems to dwarf him in just general
character. And that is Kejo Kamal, father of
the Crystal Network. Don't talk to him, either.
Yes, yes. Very well. We shall not. Well, you
may be off, Mary. I shall consult with Grunt.
Okay. I think there's a lot of crashing noises.
Sorry about that. Oh, no, no, no. And she bolts
off in the direction of Pigman, where something's
happening. Some crowd is cheering. Some people
are screaming a little bit. Is it a blessing
or a curse that Zebulon's not at this party?
You know? I don't know. He would have been so
much trouble here. It would have been a problem.
We would be dead already. It would have been
a problem. He'd be goofing off with the pig,
man. Eating all the food. He'd go immediately
to the table and eat all of the food. I don't
know, man. Like, somebody comes up to Zebulon
and says, hey, that's the founder of the Crystal
Network. Don't talk to that guy. He's going to
talk to him. You know he's there instantly. You
begin, so Jaune, like, goes to you, and as he's
talking to you, you see, like, there's a lot
of figures, like, seem to note Jaune. Words are
just spread around. I mean, he's an unknown.
No one knew he was invited, and he's apparently
got connections. So, like, you're going to be
visiting. People are going to talk to you, and
I think you realize that anonymity is just out.
But Jaune sort of pushes off to the side, you
know, maybe, like, get a little space with you,
and very quietly just, well, what's our first
step? I can talk the talk, but to whom and where?
I'm sort of used to taking commands. I'm not
sure. I'll leave that up to you. Ah, well, crackers.
Not very good at that. Time to buck up, Buttercup.
Oh, dear. Well... I know you got it in you. I
suppose we could approach... And he's sort of,
like, looking around. And then you hear, like,
uh... Montelio, you say? Montelio! The crowd
begins to part around you as a very large, rotund
figure begins to move in your direction. Big
red cheeks, big old sideburns that just have
no business on his face. Bald head, sweaty as
hell already. Samuel LaRoche comes moving up
to you. De Piero Montelio's son, are you? Samuel
LaRoche, I believe we have business. He's just
like jovial, shaking his hand, and his eyes sort
of flicker over to you. Dresden. Let's pan away
from that. We'll pan away to one more solitary
corner of this party, where Ramin moves out to
the side, moves over to, like, the edge of the
terrace, unseen. He's overwhelmed. He's scared.
He's looking around, eyes sort of darting, and
he looks to the sky, and then he reaches to his
pocket and very slowly pulls out something. Looks
down at it through mostly clenched fingers. And
as he stares down at the sending stone in his
hand, he says, Please, send a miracle tonight.
And we'll call it there.