hey there pants people uh steven here just want
to say real quick before the episode thank you
for listening thank you for hanging out with
us thank you for being here we love you enjoy
the episode the Snake Eaters. What most don't
know is that those adventures continued soon
after, and they continued on Evanrath's own homeworld
of Moor. Now what we've heard is now an official
quiet head. This has all been reported to us
from witnesses that were enjoying themselves
at Bulger's House of Mead, not far from Moor's
gemstone landing. Apparently, Evanrath and Bing
entered the pub last night, looking like they'd
fallen through all the hells. There, Evanrath
regaled them all with tales of his newest pursuit.
It seems the snake eaters have been tolerating
more as famed giant mountain goats, a personal
affront to our favorite wind -wielding wild man.
He quickly led his sidekick, Binks, into the
mountains of his youth, hunting for the hunters.
It is not foggy from here, but there's word of
a cave deep in the mountains and a full troll
member of the poaching organization. Oh, man.
Well, it just goes to show you all, you never
know what dangers you may find in the wilds of
the mountains. See, that's a podcast, right?
I can connect anything to anything. We in mountains,
I can connect that to something. You have the
power. I have the power. You also just gave me
hope that Emin Rath is coming back. As a matter
of fact, right behind you. Hey, guys. Hey, guys.
It's me, Stomp. He's not here. He's not here.
He's not here. He's not coming in. There's no
surprise guest appearance. Not yet. Someday.
Someday. We're getting him back. But right now,
he's on more. Or he was on more. Fighting trolls
and saving mountain goats like that motherfucker
would. Way to go. Yeah, what a hero. Oh, now
I want a beer. All right. You guys banter while
I go grab a beer. All right, that's fine. We
can do that. Let's banter. We've been friends
for a long, long time. I'm sure we can fill,
like, what, 10, 20 seconds? I like how a banter
question is like, hey, Jeremy, tell me about
your trip coming up. Tell us all about your trip
coming up. And then it's like. That's a good
thing to talk about. But he's not here. He walked
out of the room. Steven, take it away. Oh, look.
And he's brought stomp. No, I'm just kidding.
That's not happening. That's not happening. Oh,
shit. Now I get my crack. Isn't that the best?
Such a good sound. Put my finger in that crack.
Such a good sound. This could be a ringtone.
You think that's a thing? I can make that happen.
I bet that's a thing. I can just make. That would
be more meaningful. I would rather just get it
from you. Hey, Jeremy, I need you to do more
editing work for me, though. It will literally
take like five minutes to make that into a ringtone
that I can send to you. That's fantastic. I would
assume. That's fantastic. As long as you can
use MP3s on your phone as a ringtone, which I
don't see. It's 2023. You got to be able to do
that, right? It's got to be possible. Right?
It's got to be possible. It's definitely complicated.
We just make a whole episode as a ringtone. Oh,
that's so awful. What an organic way to, like,
advertise the podcast. Sitting on the bus and,
like, boom, boom, bada, boom, boom, bada. Coming
from your pocket. Oh, sorry about that, madam.
That's my podcast. I use it as my ringtone. Yeah.
Does it sound good, though? I could answer this,
but you know what? It's just the. It's getting
to the good part. It's getting to the good part.
It's the Red Cross again. They always call me.
I don't want to answer it. I don't want to feel
rude and hang up. Let's just. Hear it out for,
it's going to take like an hour. You doing anything?
Do you like podcasts? Do you have money? The
third most important question to ask. Jeremy
Wolf. You know who's going to be listening to
a lot of podcasts soon. Oh my God. Holy. You
host this shit. Go. Take it away. That was good.
That was good shit. I'm very confused. We're
talking about next week. And we're talking about
why we're recording two sessions tonight. You're
talking about next week, meaning on the episode
that comes out after I get back? Well, in our
timeline, the real timeline. No, you know, no,
this will come out actually the Monday that I'm
gone. Hey friends, editor Jeremy here for the
first time in quite a while. We, uh, well, I,
uh, I fucked up. Yeah. This, uh, this episode
is being released the Monday that I'm back. So
whoops. See, see. When this comes out, where
will you be? When our dear listener who Monday
morning, all bright -eyed and bushy -tailed,
pops out of bed and says, oh boy, it's Fancy
Pants, and they pop on their headphones and they
click on this episode and they hear us doing
our fun, cool thing, where will you be? I will
be in Chicago, yes. Where in Chicago? What crazy
shit are you getting up to? Going to my cousin's
wedding. What's the address? That's pretty cool.
What's the exact address? No fucking clue. No
fucking clue. What should I bring? Will there
be pie? Yes, I am. I am going to Chicago to my
cousin's wedding. Love my cousin very, very much.
And this is going to be a very, very special,
very special weekend. It's going to be good.
Haven't, haven't seen them all in a long time.
And we were basically like all brothers and sisters
growing up. So it's going to be, it'll be good.
It'll be really special. That's really cool.
That's awesome. That's really cool. It's been,
how long has he been there in Chicago? I went
back about three or four years ago. Wow, it's
been a while. It's been a while. Damn, man. How
much trunk space are you going to have? A lot.
Cool. Are you going to bring some beer? Actually,
that's a really good idea. I was not going to
bring beer until you mentioned that because I
didn't fucking think of it. I am awful. I am
awful. Jeremy. Well, I'm pretty sure the reception
is at a brewery too, so it's going to be pretty
awesome. Excellent. Easy access. It'll be pretty
good. Easy access. That's great. Well, that's
awesome, man. Well, congratulations to your cousin.
Mac and D. Mac and Danielle. Mac and Danielle.
Congratulations. And I hope the wedding is amazing.
And I'm sure it will be because Jeremy Wolf is
going to be in it. He makes everything amazing.
So the funny part you mentioned earlier, David,
and you were like, oh, yeah, if it's Monday morning
and you're bright -eyed, bushy -tailed and listening,
I'm like, yeah. Or if you're one of those, like,
handful of weird night owls who listen at, like...
Late, late, late Sunday night. There's more of
those. It posts at like 11 or 12 o 'clock on
Sunday night or something like that. Yeah, I
think it's like 12 .05 by the time it hits platforms.
Yeah, and sometimes we'll wake up in the morning
to like Discord messages or whatever. It's hilarious.
Oh, and I see all those downloads. When I get
up in the morning, I open it up and I'm like,
oh, look at that, 2 a .m. There you go. Shout
out, Jeannie. Shout out, Rochelle. Discord messages.
Are you saying we have a Discord? Hey. We have
a Discord. They're going to kill us. They're
going to come to our house and shoot us if we
do this again. Oh, my God. ZooBeard will come
and break our kneecaps if we do this again. One
more speaking of humans who listen to our episodes
thing. My wife, Rachel, came home from work the
other day. Why did you say humans? That was weird.
People. That was weird. That's a weird thing.
Go ahead. I don't know. Humans is endearing and
all -inclusive. It's been a minute since I've
looked at, like, the numbers, but I think most
of our listeners are humans. I think. I think.
You know what? I'm the asshole. You're fair.
That's fair. So my wife, Rachel, who is a whole
human being in her own right, came home from
human work, and she was like, oh, yeah. My buddy
Kevin from work just caught up with the podcast.
And I was like, oh, cool. I didn't know that
you had a friend at work who listened to the
podcast. She was like, yeah, I mentioned it like
offhandedly like a month ago. And he just like
chewed through it, I guess. Or maybe it was two
months ago. I don't know. But it's awesome. That's
so cool. Hey, Kevin. Hey, Kevin. Hey, welcome.
Thank you. Thanks for listening. Thank you. Oh,
that's great. That's great. Let's think. We had
a lot of chit -chat, a lot of RP. It was really
good stuff. I was so excited to do it. We didn't
do much gaming last week. You know, a lot of
character focus, which is, I love it. But I'm
ready to game right now. Let's do a Chicago style
this week. Let's do a Chicago style. Is that
a Chicago accent? Oh, we're all dead. Fantastic.
Come with me and you'll see how they do it in
Chicago. Let me open a song. I'd like to welcome
you all to the Ruiseñor Peaks and a long journey
across them. You rolled high enough to see tracks
last time. The tracks of Etans. A single pair,
I should say. I don't know if I mentioned that
before. There's one set, one creature moving
deeper into the mountains. Another smaller set
following in their wake. Something strange about
the tracks. It's hard to make out what that exactly
means. More signs of the cherry as you go. Every
here and there on the ground where it looks like
Miskin fell or even pretended to fall in order
to scrawl something down. It's enough to go by.
And there's sort of an open trail in the peaks
where you can see brush, trees have been broken,
branches snapped, and something very large has,
doom, doom, thundered through. But it has been
days since this thing. has moved away from the
farmhouse since it has taken Miskin on a journey
into the mountains. It used to be a longer song.
I used it before for some reason. I don't know
why. Hang on. Son of a bitch. I think this is
all user error. I'm amped, man. I'm beginning
to think that. I'm fucking amped. We started
this and I was like, second episode. I'm a little
tired. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. To fill the
listeners in. This is episode two of the recording
night. After a marathon, baby. After a long work
day. Long work day. After a long work week. Yeah.
Let's be honest. Yep. And we're what? Actually,
I like this. This is good. Four beers in? Well,
I mean, the first two at work were very low ABV.
That's true. Yeah. Those are like starter beers.
You're a wonderful beer. Yeah. Three, five percent.
To be clear. So, I mentioned before, these peaks
are actually quite verdant. There's spaces of,
you know, lush greenery, trees, grass, all the
good stuff. And of course, shut up. Stupid, stupid
face. I'm reading my notes, David. Well, that
wasn't in my notes. I'm reading my notes while
I'm talking. I don't know what I'm saying. No,
see, this works out perfectly because Miskin
loves things and stuff. Try to figure out how
long it takes you to get where you need to go.
Hang on. Hang on. You love green stuff. Miskin's
green stuff, too. Good stuff. You're moving.
And... It's not easy. It's not like going up
one mountain. I mean, it is like rising up one,
down, up, slope, down the slope, winding around,
crossing around one. Like, and it's all slow
moving. That's something the terrain is difficult.
Your model time, while there is like broken brush
in the way, it's not a cleared path. You're moving
over roots, stumbling over harsh rocks. And like
your pace has slowed. Normally you'd travel around
three miles an hour. That's where you traveled
here. You know, when you went from Mi 'kmaq to
the farmhouse, that's how fast you're going through
the wasteland. But that's moved down to about
one and a half miles per hour. It's rough moving.
It's, one might say, difficult terrain for long
-form walking. And hours are swiftly passing.
And every hour that passes, Jules, I think you
find a little spike of dawning horror. Because
the sun will set for long. And Serena will come
back to strike at you again. And how useful will
you be when that time comes? Already a negative
three exhaustion at night. And tonight, should
you fail? Who knows? But it's bad. You are traveling,
moving. And I'll say you are traveling for near
six hours through the mountains. It was about
ten miles to reach the farmhouse from Milpazul.
And you've traveled another 10 miles up and down
these peaks, occasionally rising high enough
to look out and stare towards this great desert
around you. You can see vaguely far away the
walled city of Sunseton City. You can see Milpazool,
tiny little town. I was about to say. Town or
village, perhaps. I like that one better. Tiny
little village. And sort of north beyond that,
just this weird sort of indigo sands of the indigo
desert stretching off all the way. I think Dance
even tells you that this desert stretches all
the way towards the end of this world where essentially
the mists of the ethereal plane come and form
like a border to it. Damn, I wonder what that's
all about. It's probably pretty cool. But we're
not going there because there's no half -orc
childs there. Because this arc is already long
enough. Yeah, it's a really long arc. How dare
you? It's a really long arc. It's cool. It's
two arcs. Two for one deal. Here, I'm fancy pants.
Jules, as you move, I think there is one thing
that is bothering you. When you were back at
the farmhouse, what you guys noted was there
was, you know, they saw the families, corpses
all in one spot, the blood pooling in one spot,
and one small set of tracks moving from where
they had died to the Ettins. Yes. But why? Did
Miskin leave? You know Miskin. He's stealthy.
He's quick. You've always known Miskin. For him
to fall prey like this is... It's hard to believe.
Yeah, I think the immediate reaction is that
he wouldn't be taken unwilling. So there's something
that's not adding up in Jules' mind. Makes a
lot of sense. If he's with them, he went willingly
for some reason. With the... Sun sinking lower
in the sky, and with that ominous thought clouding
your mind, you guys are climbing up a mountainside,
sheer cliff beside you as you've moved sort of
away from some of the dense greenery for now,
all that good stuff, off to the side. You're
on rocks now. You stare down at the lush mountainside
after the large drop -off beside you, maybe a
hundred feet drop into the trees. And beside
you, maybe there's a wide sort of open road,
not road, but just open sort of cliff, maybe
20 feet wide as you move. That quickly hits a
slope shooting upwards. More trees, more life.
Very hard to pass by, but the trail goes here.
You know it goes through here. And then you see
smoke somewhere ahead on the side of this cliff.
Somewhere close. A fire. A camp, perhaps. Well,
uh, should we go up to it or sneak up to it?
Steven, I'm sorry? Jules is going to go invisible.
Ah, nice. Ooh. As he does that, he says, wait
here, guys. Oh, that's awesome. And Jules is
going up. Hell yeah. Sorry, I'm in character
right now. This is happening. This is great.
With that, Jules, as you push forward. I'm going
to put you on the map. Bear in mind, invisibility
means you'll have plus two bonus to your stealth
checks. Oh, no. Hawk fight again. I want to be
close to the map I want. Stop it. I'm building
the moment. Now, once again, feast your eyes.
Another Rochelle original. Oh, Rochelle map.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Look at this beautiful mountainside.
Oh, my God. Look at this mountainside. Yeah,
we always... That is gorgeous. Sometimes we zoom
right by it. Let's take a peek at this real fast.
Take a peek. Look around. Spend some time here.
The squares you see are 10 -foot squares. Wow.
So it's a very large map. Very huge. That's incredible.
Big old thing. Wait, wait. Don't look too far.
Don't look too close. Hang on. Okay. GM layer.
Okay. No, you can look now. I had to hide something.
I had something that shouldn't have been on your
layer. Very verdant. Quite verdant. But there's
nothing to worry about. Professional podcaster,
huh? Something to worry about here. It's over.
Look at all the good stuff. There's a lot of
good stuff in this map. There is. A lot of good
green stuff. I was struggling to find the words,
but good stuff really kind of like sums it up.
See? You know, I'm not crazy. Oh, I saw a thing.
What? No, it's gone. I can see Miskin. That's
allowed. Oh, okay. You can see Miskin. Jules,
you press forward and you see that the trail
you're on. about 20 feet wide. I actually guessed
that because I was looking at the map at the
time. I am a hero. Quickly widens, sort of like
pushes outwards, a cliff sort of, you know, sort
of widening, and then sort of getting deeper
in towards the mountains, sort of like the sort
of raised slope beside you, indenting in kind
of a bowl, and you can see at its widest point,
this is almost 100 feet wide, this sort of open
space, this camp. You peek over and you see this
number of, it looks like supplies maybe stolen,
lining the trees off to the, I'm really bad at
these, hang on, off to the east, west, fucking
shit, west. He did that while holding his hand
in the shape of an L. In the shape of an L. On
your forehead. Well, sorry. No, no, no, no. For
the 30th time. I'm done. I quit. The other day
in the kitchen on the line, we spent literally,
we had like, I was working a double, or not double,
it was like a 12 -hour shift. For the entire
12 -hour shift, we listened to various versions
of All Star. So it was like All Star, but it's
set to the beat of I'm Blue. Why? Or it's All
Star, but set to the Black Parade. That sounds
like my own personal hell. It was so funny. Why
would you do that? It was so good. We do troll
music. We just listen to horrible troll songs.
Like, it's great. It's great. I don't even know
what to say. No. We're kitchen folk. We just
do weird things. Gotta get by. Let's get back
to fighting ettins. I can't even, like. So I
guess you're not a rock star. Okay. Jules, you
move out. You see, like, you know, there's a
number of supplies sort of off to the west of
this sort of, like, sort of open area. You see
that maybe about 20 feet away from them, almost
towards the center of the space, there's a large
burning campfire. That's, you know, some smoke
up into the sky. And beyond that, to the north,
where you stand to the south of this thing, so
far away from you, about, let's take a look,
about 130 feet from where you stand as you approach,
you see a tent, a very large tent. And then you
vaguely see two big feet, boom, boom, sticking
out from one side of the tent. Oh, boy. And outside
of the tent, sitting, looking down into the dirt,
clothes torn, and something around his neck,
something, a chain, it looks like, running into
the tent behind him. You see Miskin. You see
he's finagling with the chain, trying to, like,
maybe pick it with something. He's got a little
sharp, like, stick of rock. It seems he's the
only figure moving. I think as you move, you
can see this, like, slow, almost like the tent
expands a little, then sort of shrinks. Envy
vaguely does... Something sleeping just beyond,
or just inside, not beyond, in the tent. Okay.
Yeah. And I can deduce that there's only one.
That's all you see. That's all I see. That's
all you see for free. So, okay. You want to make
a check? You can. Why not? Let's make a check,
and then I'll do what I'm going to do. All right.
Want to give me perception? Yep. Give me that
perception. Make it big good. Yeah, that's a
tweener. 12 on the die plus 2 for a 14. How close
is Crispin behind Jules here? You guys should
still be hidden. You're far enough away. I put
you at the very edge of this map. Okay. So you're
not really within sight of the camp yet so much.
You see the smoke. You can actually make a prayer
here as well that is a little higher because
of where you are. But I think you may be able
to see something if you hit high enough. All
right. I'll get in on this. I'm rolling the red
dragon today. Ooh. 18. Okay. Okay. I'm going
to do this to both of you. The initial check
was a 12. The higher check was a 16. Nice. So
you both actually will see from where you stand
something. I'll say maybe at the same time you
notice that you're like, Jules, you're stepping
out into this space. Let me put you ahead of
where you are because I think you're farther
along than that. So at the point you notice this,
I'll say you're about 60 feet ahead. of your
allies who have stopped way behind. You're right
at the sort of entrance of this widening camp
space, and you note movement to the east -west.
It's west. Something up high above the camp,
beyond where those supplies lay, high up the
slope on top of a tree. There is something, and
Crispin, as you kind of peek out, you notice
movement as well. It's sort of shrouded by some
trees on your end, but you can see just kind
of beyond them, you know, through like some reaching
branches, that same sort of tree standing above
all else, very tall. You see what looks like
a large bird? Hmm. Maybe a little larger than
a man. Oh, it better not be a fucking owl. Nestled
on top of the tree. That was my first thought.
It seems to be sort of... Scanning the field.
Can I roll, like, nature or something to try
to identify this creature? I don't think you
need to. Oh, great. Because one of you, I can't
remember which one now, but you can help me here.
A few episodes ago, so that's not helpful. One
of you rolled a very high check on ettins, and
one of you rolled a very high check on peritins.
Oh, yeah, that was Crispin. Yeah, I don't remember
that. You were peritins? Or were you both? I
thought you got both, but I don't remember. I
have some notes about both somewhere here. Well,
we'll assume anything you know was shared amongst
both of you. Yeah. So because you knew what was
coming in here, this is a Perryton. And because
you guys know what to see, as you kind of look
towards this creature, kind of stand low, you
can see a face of brown fur sporting a red mane
that shifts to feathers of red and blue. See
great wings currently sort of furled up that
could spread out from this body. which stands
on bird -like legs that end in razor -sharp talons.
But this avian form is contradicted. It's a hard
word. Sure. By the face of a stag adorned by
vicious antlers. And as we, the audience, repan
towards this form, we can see its mouth forms
a grin filled with sharpened carnivorous teeth.
Its eyes are wild and predatory. Yet carry a
spark of intelligence as it scans the camp. There
is a scout, and you both know it. You are invisible
jewels, but every step you make kicks up dust.
Correct. However. What? However. How dare you?
How dare you contradict me? Sorry. Go ahead.
I'm done. Describe Miskin to me again. Describe
the state that he's in. How he's sitting, where
he's looking. I'd say he's basically sitting
on his butt or knees up. He's got this chain
around his neck that looks like it's basically
taught sort of towards the end of what it can
do. And it feeds into the tent behind him. Okay.
Must be attached to something inside. He's like
got like a little stick that he's sort of shoving
into the sort of lock on it. And I see this sort
of chain. It looks like maybe. This rusted old
thing may be taken from a mine or something somewhere.
I think your mind would flash to some of the
prison mines on Tythos where they would chain
people into the mines while they worked. Okay.
And stole. Would you say during this time that
he's at least like looking, you know, his face
is like geared downward? His face is down for
now. I think there's a snap as the stick sort
of breaks and he kind of throws it and kind of
looks up. His eye. He looks up. His eyes focus
on. Okay, well, if he was looking down at all.
Okay, yeah. I'm going to do what I was going
to do when he's looking down. Okay, I'll do that.
Yeah, he's looking down. He grabs another stick.
That's all right. He looks down for another stick.
He looks up at the sky. He's too late. Jules
is going to cast Minor Illusion. Actually, hold
on, hold on, hold on. Ooh. Give me the range
of that bad boy. I retract that. I can't do that
because that will end invisibility. Oh, sure,
yeah. Fuck me. Oh, it's concentration. Fuck me.
That's interesting. That's interesting. All right,
well, okay, how about this? Good catch, though.
How about this? Where am I at? Right now, I've
moved you up to the point where you're at 90
feet away from Mr. Okay, can I move into the
brush that's to my right? Yes. Okay. That'll
give you free because you're not going deeper
in. Sure. Okay, so I'm going to go into the brush,
and then I'm going to cast Minor Illusion. Well,
shit, hang on. Fuck, I'm 90 feet? Yeah, no. I'm
not in range at all for that. Oh, damn. God damn
it. Do you make stealth checks? Yeah. Got a big
old plus two. Yeah, I'm going to have to. Yeah,
you could probably go from like bush to bush
to get closer. Yeah, I think I'm going to do
that. So what I'm trying to do is I want to cast
minor illusion and have it display two cherries.
Oh, that's awesome. I interlocked the stem at
his feet. How close did he get? 30 feet. Okay.
I want him to know that we're there. There's
a copse of bushes exactly 30 feet away from him
by the cliffside. If you look basically to the
north and west east. Okay. Wait, do you mean
the north or the north south? Shoot. You know
what? Now I'm all confused. That way. It's that
way. It's that way. That. You tell me what I'm
going to have to do to get there. I want two
stealth checks as you move. Okay. Okay. Crispin,
you know Jules is invisible. Actually, I'm curious.
Crispin, you saw that thing. Do you trust Jules
saw it too? Or are you going to try to signal
him in some way? What's your plan as you're waiting
back there? Do you trust Jules? I mean, what's
he going to do? Scream into the woods? Jules,
watch out! That's fair. So you're just getting
ready. Yeah. Ready to go. He's on high alert.
Keeping his eye on this thing. Yeah. Watching
to see if it's going to move or if it moves.
Okay. So this first stealth check, going with
a button. Okay. Give me that button. Oh, yummy.
And by the way, it's a monstrous plus one to
stealth, not plus two. Oh, no. It's actually
plus three then. You're plus two from invisibility.
Oh, shit. Yeah. So it's a little something. It's
kind of something. Damn. 16 for both. You begin
to move out across the dusty cliffside. You're
just walking, slowly walking. You make it about
halfway. Then you cut back to the group. Their
eyes are all trying to dance, sort of watching
nervously. Biting your lower lip, trying to catch
any sign of your movement. The peritone does
not react. Oh, shit. You're halfway there. All
right, here we go. What's your roll? Roll yours
first. Ten. Ooh. Yeah. I can't tell if David's
face looks resolute on combat or... You. Oh,
he's searching for a music change. Not yet. Not
quite yet. You're moving towards the edge of
the cliff. And as you kind of round, because
you're about ten feet away from the cliff's edge,
from the drop -off, as you round these two, like,
larger brush... brushes. I think just as you're
about to do it, a wind sort of picks up, hits
you, and you reach out and you touch the edge
of the brush. A single sort of like waving branch.
It's something the trees perks up. Before we
go any further, I forgot to add the three, so
it's 13. Oh my goodness. Sorry. That just hit
me. It was 10 on the die. And that thing in the
trees goes. Oh, my God. It just calms down. It's
like, oh, no, it's nothing. Bats. Holy shit.
Bats. Good dramatic timing, my man. Wow. Holy
shit. I need water. Give me one second. All right.
All right, we're back, folks. Continue, David.
You stand behind the brush. This thing sort of
settles down. Eyes sweeping past your spot. And
again, just scanning down below. I rolled a 12
on that check. That's so wild. It's amazing.
Yeah. We're so close to a huge wedgie. A massive,
massive wedgie that I don't know if I could have
ever recovered from. We've been throwing away
those underpants. Stained forever. All right,
so I make it. You are able to move across the
brush completely unseen. Perfect. And far enough
away that I can hear you, and you are able to
reach just within 30 feet. And I'm in the brush?
Yes. Okay. You're like pushing your head through
and around like the very edge of it. Cool. And
just like, you know, just short ways away from
you, about 30 feet away from you is both the
tent and just sort of south of that miskin. All
right. So as I cast this, I become visible again.
Okay. So I'm going to cast Minor Illusion to
create a pair of cherries connected by their
stems at Miskin's feet. He's just, like, finagling.
Come on. I can get out. And then just, like,
has a stick sort of shoved into the lock. There's
another one he's trying to work on. And then
just, like, disappears. And just, like, snap.
The stick breaks, and he's just staring it down
towards the ground. And you see his hand just
starts shaking as he reaches down to touch it.
As he touches it, it disappears. I think. It
vanishes as his fingers reach it. And he looks
up. He starts looking around. Do you make yourself
known to him? He has an angle that the peritone
does not on you. You could pretty easily know.
Okay, cool. So I'm going to, then I'll rustle
the bush. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Because he's kind
of off to the sort of northern side of the bush.
So he can peek in. The peritone's sort of. Coming
from the south a bit, so. Cool. Yeah, I'll rustle
the bush a little bit. He hears it. I snap over
to you. His mouth drops. And I think, like, what
hits you the most is the way he immediately puts
his arm up to wipe his eyes so you don't see
any tears. Oh, man. Just rubbing against it and
just kind of, like, puts his hand down, shaking.
And he looks back at the tent and kind of looks
at you and just kind of, like, tries. Like, he
doesn't say a word. He's pointing, just like
putting his hand sort of down, this gesture of
like, stay quiet, stay quiet. Okay. What do you
do? I don't know. Oh, my God. I didn't think
this far ahead. I thought the whole time you
had a plan. Okay, my plan was to let him know.
that we are there. I mean, that's great. I mean,
that's a good thing because yeah, it's, he needs
to know that we are there and he could provide
something else too. If he knows. That's all I
got. Crispin, take it away. Crispin's still watching
out. He, I will say this. Miskin has a stick.
You got to the point where he sees you? I was
going to say he broke it before we retconned
that and then redid it. He can use a half a broken
stick. All right. So he reaches down. He's going
to start, like, real quick, just to give you
guys something cool. He starts writing, scratching
into the sort of dirt beneath him, and he just
writes, one head sleep, one wake. Ah. Yeah, right.
They're two -headed. Yeah. Right, right, right.
Shit. I will say, also, Miskin, after you kind
of first see the message, after kind of noting
you, he very quickly just, like, rubs his hand
over it to erase it. His eyes for a second dart,
you know, towards the tree line, towards the
periton, and he notably looks away from you.
He doesn't want to be seen focusing on anything.
Okay. And I think at this point, Jules is focusing
on the periton. Uh. Crispin, you actually can
see jewels from where you are still. Yeah. Far
off, and you can see, I think, this. Crispin
thinks he can make the periton go away. You rolled
a 19 before. I looked into it. Last time we made
note of the periton. I can give you a little
more information based on that. Yeah. So here's
what I want you to know. Periton are voracious
predators. While they are not known for their,
like, sort of... the strength of physique. I
mean, they are resistant to magic. They're to
non -magical damage. They also are known for
essentially like a hit and slash or slash and
run kind of fighting style. They typically like
fly in, either grab or rip at their prey, fly
out very quickly and not taking AOOs, generally
speaking. They're very good at just kind of like
diving in, diving out, but very, very fast in
the air. They hunt any kind of cattle or larger
sort of prey, deer, You know, whatever they can
find throughout the mountains. And if they were
to see any kind of animal, they'd go for it.
If they were to hear an animal, they'd go for
it. They're hungry things. Only large animals
they hunt? I mean, hungry enough, they'd go for
something smaller. Okay. Take a snack. Okay.
All right. Then let's see if this works. Crispin
is going to cast Pass Without Trace on himself.
And he's going to, I'll be right back. Stay here.
I'm going to take care of that peritone. He's
going to run into the woods to the south. He
wants to go pretty much to the bottom edge of
the map here. So you're climbing up the slopes,
climbing through the greenery. And as you move,
the shadows from the trees are like clinging
to you, sort of spreading out around you and
like encompassing you. And so you're just blended
into the darkness. Your stealth rating has gone
way up. So once he gets sort of to the edge of
the map here, he's going to... So circling around
until you're behind the periton, essentially.
Yeah. And then we'll use druidcraft to make the
noise of a small animal. Oh, yeah. 30 feet in
the other direction. Oh, man. So where are you
trying to get? With a periton standing, looking
down, it's got the northeast. of where it is
perched is the open valley. You are now to the
southwest of it. Where do you want the sound
to come from? Yeah, so basically right now, if
you zoom way out on the map, there's jewels in
the very top right -hand corner. If you go down,
down, down to the left, there's the Periton.
And then if you continue on that line, Crispin
is a little ways away from the Periton. And if
you continue on that trajectory, 30 feet out
is the furthest that I can cast Druidcraft. Oh!
So that's off the map. I want to cast it there.
Okay. The one thing I'm going to say is because
it's actively hearing a sound, it will be actively
perceiving as it moves, even as it passes you.
I will roll a perception check. You have heightened
stealth. Yeah. But there was a chance you will
be seen because that's cool and fun makes sense
to me. I'm already giving you a button for that
roll. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Okay, okay. Yeah, I
think it's... It's necessary. I don't know exactly
what you have planned, but I think we can get
out of this if this roll works. So you make an
animal sound. What animal? Just the one of it.
A pangolin. Make the sound. Oh, this is a first.
Make the pangolin sound. How does a pangolin
sound? How does a pangolin sound? Tell me! Oh
my god, this is awesome. Jamal, that you? That
was not what I was expecting. That's like a spider.
I don't know what I was expecting, but that wasn't
it. It's terrifying. Let's hear it. Come on.
You first, Jeremy. What's your pangolin sound?
Whoa. Doesn't it look like an anteater sort of
thing? All right. That was nice. That was nice.
I appreciate the... Hey, hey, you're not getting
out of this yet. Oh, I know. Give me some space.
Give me some space. Hang on. I need the room.
Ready? Hey, I mean, this is your universe, man.
You fucking own it. Cannon. So that's what that's
what it sounds like. And I'm going to make you
do that all the time. And because it sounds like
that, the Perryton just switches his head around
like it's a fucking pangolin. I know that's the
sound of a pangolin. Because that's exactly what
it sounds like. Exactly what they sound like.
And it launches off of the tree. and begins to
fly over the trees. It's looking down, and here's
prey. It's excited. Its eyes go wild, and it
just flies down. Man, I really shouldn't have
given you a button. I've got a plus 12 right
now with Pass Without Trace. Ooh. But, I mean,
like, there's still... Yeah, you need to secure
it. Yeah, I feel like... Give me your stealth
check. All right, I've got advantage because
I gave you a fucking button. Before you give
me a stealth check, I want to tell you what I
got. Oh, no. Give me a button. I have a plus
five to my perception. Oh, my God. I rolled a
19 on the die. Oh, my God. 24. Fuck. Your plus
12 might not mean much. So I got to roll a 13
or higher. Yeah. I'm using the red dragon still.
Wait. Roll two at the same time. Make it more
exciting. No, I got to use the red dragon, man.
Okay, fine. That's not how this works, David.
To get in the first one, don't blame me when
it's lame. What'd you get? What is it? 18, baby.
Okay. One more just for fun. One more just for
fun. Just for funsies. I think Rochelle specifically
said that this die loves to roll 18s. That's
awesome. Is it an 18 again? Oh, shit. No, but
it was a 14. Okay. The red dragon pulls through
twice in a row. It is very hard to read, though,
so I'm going to put it down for the rest of the
night. Thank you, Rochelle. The Perryton. swoops
over your spot. I think a little bit of drool
just runs down and splashes onto your head as
this like, it's a sort of stag mouth is drooling.
Teeth glistening, hungry for pangolin. And it
disappears into the trees beyond. And as he does
this, Jules is going to cast deafness onto the
awake Ettenhead. And you can see its feet. So
you can see the target enough that I say it's,
you know, you can, you can cast it. Okay. Got
to make a con save. It'll, it'll cast on the
entire end because it's one creature. So we just
want to head. Yeah. Hell yeah. I think unless
there's a thing around that weird. Yeah. Cause
it's, it's one set of feet. I just, I just want
to get out there that while this is happening,
once the, once the peritone flies overhead, Crispin
wants to start moving towards the edge of the
clearing here so he can get eye on, on Jules.
Yo, it's wild. What? I don't know if that's a
good wild for us or a bad wild for us. It does
legitimately have a feature called two heads.
Oh, God. They have advantage on saving throws
against being blinded, charmed, deaf, and frightened.
Are you kidding me? So basically the question
is, you cast it, but you cast it on the right
head. On the right. Yeah, that's funny. That's
actually really cool. And the thing is, I'm going
to roll it, and you won't know. Oh, my. God.
Are you kidding me? I'll do it right now. That
is so nasty. That's not going to change what
I'm going to do. Right, exactly. You don't know
I can do some cool -ass shit. You rolled too
low. Jules, if I don't know, then that means
Jules assumes that it worked. Sure. That's so
awesome. All right. What is your DC just there
now? What did you roll? I control this game.
No, he said he's not going to tell us. No, you're
not going to tell us. I need to know what you
rolled so I can. No. What? 14. 14. Okay, cool.
All right. I made my roll. So, yeah, again, Jules
assumes that it worked, and he is going to run
over to Miskin and use Performance of Creation
to fabricate a lockpick. Okay. Pickton's gone.
You don't know how long it's busy for. You run
through, slide in the dust. So let's talk about
this real quick. Performance of Creation. We
actually haven't, like, narratively... touched
on this but we tried to yeah yeah we found out
it didn't work but like but like in the moment
like this this ability you have i want to touch
on like where i think this might come from for
you sure because a lot of your bardic abilities
come from your loot like we've seen jewels we've
seen jewels touch into like this sort of demonic
side of himself we've seen him reach out and
change a man into a monster into a demon but
we've also seen jewels before that reach into
a different part of himself, activating this
sort of connection with his loot, with the Feywild
wood that it's made from. And somehow, not only
blessed yourself with Feywild magic, but also
your best friend, Chester. You transformed him,
too. Like, Jules has a connection to different
planes. It's a strange thing. It's yet unexplained,
but Jules, I might, I would, I would wager a
bet, and this is your character, it's you, that
this Creation magic could stem from that same
fey wild source, this wild magic of creation.
You just reach out. You know you need something,
and you feel, I can have that. And perhaps, like,
you can feel it from your loot, like the same
light that gives your part of inspiration just
sort of wisps into your hand, and this thing
is made. Does that sound right to you? Oh, yeah.
Hell, yeah. The lockpick forms in your hands.
And I'm going to go for it. You are untrained
in using a lockpick. Unfortunately. But is Miskin?
Yeah, is Miskin any better? Is Miskin? Honestly,
Miskin does have the ability to use it. Perfect.
Because I give it to him. Miskin will take a
plus five on this, Jack. Whoa. I love that, like,
Jules, like, knows and trusts his friends. Like,
he makes this thing. And he's like, here, you
fucking use it. And as you get to get close to
this thing, if you reach out, he's just like
almost panicking. He grabs on a chain. He looks
over at the tent like, Jules, no, Jules. One
heads. It's awake in there. It doesn't sound
like it's awake, but he's deaf. He's deaf. Take
it. Take it. Go, go, go. Take it. He grabs the
lockpick. Okay. And just starts rolling the check.
It's only a nine. Nine won't quite do it. Yeah,
of course it won't. But it's not low enough that
it breaks the lockpick. Cool. Can Jules grab
it and try? After he clearly is having trouble
with it? Or you can give him the help action.
Yeah, help action. Oh, shit. Yeah. You basically
just... Advantage. Yeah. Well, basically right
now it's just time is passing. That's the only
thing. Fuck it, yeah. A little bit of time has
passed. You're looking nervous towards the trees.
This thing might come back soon. Hell yeah. The
Ettin doesn't seem to have stirred. Same fucking
roll. Advantage. So, you know, you're rolling
it another time. So you can roll it again because
you have the help action. Oh, so you're... Wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait. I thought we were just
adding advantage to the first roll, but this
is a totally separate roll, so that is the first
roll. I'm going to let you make this roll multiple
times. The thing is time passing. The cost is
time is passing. If you roll very low, it might
break the lockpick. Okay. Time passing is bad.
There we go. All right, that's a 22. Okay, so
the second time he doesn't quite make it, you
look nervously towards the trees. You hear like
a... Somewhere, something is like diving into
a tree line. It'd be like some birds are flying
out. Crispin, you hear this very close to you.
How far has Crispin gotten back towards the clearing
in this time? Say 30 feet, 60 feet, because you
can just double dash. Yes, you can. Yeah, so
you're moving on your way. Right there. You hear,
like, something, this thing is just fighting
through the forest. As you guys hear that, Miskin
starts pointing again. He's, like, kind of panicking,
his hands sort of shaking. And you reach down
and, like, grab the end of the lockpick, sort
of steadying it and helping him. He looks up
at you, just kind of nods. And you hear... And
the sort of manacle around his neck opens up.
Before even a second goes by, Jules is grabbing
him and running. And... As you do, you can hear
from the tent shuffling as this ettin rolls over
in its sleep. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was
so good. That was so good. Because. Because.
All right. I'll give you a fucking high five
for that one. Yeah. Because I rolled. Give me
those. Because I rolled advantage. All right.
Holy shit. Let me shout out someone here. Please
tell me. Let me call somebody out here. Captain,
you're a wonderful man, but I rolled your full
metal d20 with advantage and rolled a one twice.
Oh, my God. Get out of town. Dude, that just
means it was meant to happen. I rolled a one
twice. That means the captain reached through
the internet from the Midwest, and he said, no,
you know what? I think we're going to save Miskin
tonight. I think we're going to save Miskin tonight.
That's true. That's true. The captain's on Miskin's
team tonight. Jules, you run, booking it across
the open sort of terrain, across the open camp,
past the fire and into the tree line. Holy shit.
And you make it back to your allies just as Crispin
bursts from the trees. Scott free. And all of
you stand together. I didn't think we were going
to do it. I didn't know it was possible to do
it. I mean, I think there's not even really time
to like. chat. I think we got to get out of here.
Yeah, we got to keep moving. We got to keep moving.
I think as Jules gets to the group with Miskin,
he's silently motioning with his arms. Go, go,
go. Move, move, move. You begin to run. Yes.
Starting down the cliffside, charging back towards
like thicker brush, thicker trees. Guys, this
is not how things go for us. This is not how
things go. We never get this lucky. You're like
routing out the cliff and more entering the spot
where like the trail snakes back into like...
Thicker wood and, you know, canopy forest. And
as you do, you can hear somewhere behind you
just this. Something roaring out. But something
relatively far back. As you imagine, it's been
noted that Miskin is missing. And that the thing
that was supposed to watch him didn't do a very
good job. But where you stand now, you're okay.
Yeah, the moment that we feel safe enough to
stop. Jules goes down and embraces Miskin. Yeah.
It's really fucking hard. Imagine you're running
for quite a while. We've got to be running for
at least like 10, 15 minutes, right? And that's
fine. We want to get like a mile away. Whenever
we're stopped. Exactly. Whenever we get that
moment. I think you get a moment as you're kind
of moving down farther and farther down the mountain.
I think like you kind of spiral and you're always
lower. And I think you have this moment of like
where you finally can sort of breathe again when.
You can hear a different roar, kind of a bellow.
It sounds like two voices overlapping. Just like,
hey, if you want to edit this later on to make
these both the same voice at the same time, that's
pretty cool. You just hear like a... As these
two, like, large voice screaming in, maybe giant.
And then you hear like a... And you see this,
like, way above you, this, like, figure, this
peritone goes flying away, not running towards
you, but running very fast away from something
else. He's in trouble. He's in trouble. And the
thing that can fly is not looking for you. It's
looking to get the hell out of there. Great.
And so I think at that point, you breathe a little,
like, okay, the ettin's way back there. We got
a good running start. The peritone, gone. We
can breathe. And you probably just settle down
in your run, hidden by the trees, down the mountain.
Jules. No, I was about to say, hi, Miskin. Jules,
you got new friends. A rabbit and a Zebulon you
got real big. Arlon just kind of looks down and
he doesn't say anything. He just sort of stares
at Miskin for a long moment like, Like, he doesn't
believe that it happened and that it's this easy,
that it's done. And Miskin doesn't even remember
him? Oh, that's right. He didn't know. He didn't
know Arhalon. I'm just being silly. No, he does.
So I think, actually, so when you get over there,
I think what's more likely to happen, he answers
about friends, he looks over at you, Crispin
nods, and he looks over at Arhalon, and he actually
sort of takes a shuffling back away because,
like, this is the guy that did it. And Arhalon,
I guess, more looks shamefully towards him. It's
all right. He's here to help. What? We're all
here to help. Miskin, we came for you. And we
got you, buddy. You got me. They were gonna...
They wanted me to be one of them. They were calling
us a family. Calling me their son. Oh, you know
that's bullshit. The farmers. How are the farmers?
Are they okay? When the Aten came down, when
they were going to attack the farmers, they knew
I was there. They asked for me specifically.
I think the monster, the bird, told them about
me. It must have seen me running. They said I
could, if I just went with them. They let everyone
else be okay, so I did. I went with them. I will
say, I think something clicks here for you, which
is that you notice the Aten tracks didn't go
near the people. You also know Paritans can fly.
The Aten didn't kill the farmers. No. Miskin,
they didn't make it. No. No, they didn't. They
didn't hurt them. I was with them the whole time.
They didn't hurt them. I saw. They were good
on their word. They told the truth. They didn't
hurt them. But that baritone did. I'm sorry.
I don't want to lie to you. They were nice. I
know they were. I was hurt. I was so hurt when
I stumbled to their home. I was so hungry and
thirsty. They took care of me and men came looking
for me. They hid me beneath the stairs. They
had a spot. They hid me from them. But they couldn't
hide me from that. You gotta close those eyes.
No time. Jules, it's not just me. Roundstuff
and Paul, they're here too. What? They're here
and they're in danger. Wait, tonight. When is
the night of the remembered? Tomorrow, wasn't
it? It's tomorrow, right? It's tonight. Oh, it's
tonight. Oh, great. Why? Is it tonight? It's
tonight, right? Yes, it's tonight. Why? They're
going to do something to her. Round stuff. They're
going to do something to her. Where did they
go? The mines in Hollow. There's a mine abandoned
in the cliffs above the town. They have a lab
in there. Some sort of occult lab like the ones
you told me about your childhood. There's a man,
Zavar. They call him Zavar. You know that name.
I do know that name. It came up once in a flashback.
Zavar, to fucking hell! Your mother's a cult
magician, the one that set up all her little
rituals, the one who was the backbone behind
everything she did to you. Zavar, he's here,
and he has them. Jules looks around to the rest
of the crew. We're not done yet. Yes. Arhalon
just nods. We're not. Only one third of the way
back from sullying my honor. We will save the
other two. I will die before I let them fall
into their hands any longer, before anything
bad happens to them. In this, you have my trust,
Jules LaRoche. We're going to get you the other
two -thirds. And we're going to bring my family
back. I don't know what he's going to do. He
mentioned something. A demon that they made.
I know who he's talking about. He said he wants
to make another. He said it works best on tieflings.
He mentioned another, someone's son. He's mean,
I think. They've made one of these things before
and they want to make round stuff into one as
well. Oh, fucking pig man. There it is. He's
just kind of like stammering. And Paul, Paul's
in danger too. He did something, Jules. I don't
understand it. He did something down there. They
would have had me in a cage with the rest. They
were bringing us in, putting us away, and I tried
breaking free, tried causing a commotion. They
were going to hurt me, and Paul acted out. There
were fossils, black, jutting from the stone in
the lab in the mine, and Paul touched one, and
the ground shook. I had never seen anything like
it. The whole mine shook, caves, walls cracking.
He opened a path for me, and as I ran away, I
could feel... The world behind me closing off.
He gave me the chance to get out. He made a new
route for me somehow. He did something. And I
could hear words. As I fled, Zavar called him
something strange. He called him a Mazir Drakon.
And we'll call it there.