Hello, all you beautiful pants people. Just wanted
to pop in to say thank you so much. Thank you
for listening. Thank you for being our friends.
And thank you for making this journey so meaningful
and worthwhile. is always welcome in the spotlight.
But there are those few luminaries whose more
brutal tendencies towards the criminals they
face can actually boost their popularity, build
their brand, so to speak. And among this crowd,
few stand out so well as Zubir Rubyfist. Now,
there was no one about Zubir's early life, apart
from the fact that he was the last of his clan.
Lost in the subterranean cities of Rotham, Zubir
sought his family and discovered another. of
Rotham were near a myth of the good people of
that world. Terrifying fighters, powered by pure
rage and seeking only glory in battle. Known
for using their bodies and their very armor as
weapons, these warriors were said to reside in
the darkest, most dangerous corners of their
world. How Zubin had found them, how he impressed
them enough to learn their art, we don't know.
What we do know is that Zubit has used those
arts to swiftly climb the luminary ranks. Even
the most heinous of villains run in fear when
they see his signature spiked armor and bladed
gunwale. When the frenzy takes him, when he's
blessed by his armor's haste, and he charges
his foe. Let's just say there's a lot of footage
of Zubit that we can't show on the network. So
if you're one of those that's bored by the regular
stories of luminary do -gooders, then you are
someone with a little more edge. The tales of
Spike Juggernaut are sure to be a gold vein.
Did you guys see what I did there? I got it.
I got the joke. I see what you did there. I see
what you did there. Yeah, it's a golden dice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got the joke. Podcaster.
Nice. Yeah. Give it a try someday. I don't know.
Thank you, Sue Beard. I wish we could do more
for the intro, because I honestly got a ton of
information on this character. It's awesome.
This is a character who's been through one hell
of a journey, and I wish I could really spotlight
more of that. But I got the origins, and I got
the fighting with your armor and a blade gauntlet.
That's the coolest shit I've ever heard in my
life. Yeah, it's awesome. So I am delighted to
put Zoobeard into this world, hanging out over
there, just brutalizing some villains on Rotham
and beyond. Yeah, we hear a lot about not just
Zoobeard, but... of all sorts of people on the
Discord server. It's really cool to see just
how in -depth some of these people... Well, yeah.
Sorry. No, for real, though. Do it. If you're
listening and you care, get on the Discord server.
Come on. It's all force. Threaten them. Use threats.
Use violence. Get on the Discord server or Zoobeard
Rubyfist is going to do what Zoobeard Rubyfist
does. That's scary. Oh, shit. But my point was
it's really cool to see stuff like that because
we see it all the time. There's so much game
talk. There's so much game talk and I love it.
We get a lot of pictures of maps of steps for
game night, little stories from games. It's awesome
because that's what it is. I just love to be
able to talk about games. I have a lot of games
that aren't this one. And I love talking about
them so much. So yeah, it's, it's cool. It's
cool. Get in this corridor. Super is going to
break your knees. Yeah. So I was supposed to,
uh, have mail time. What is it? The thing. Fuck.
I didn't load it. Son of a bitch. Right here.
Wait, pause. Oh, that was awesome. Oh, man. So
hyped now. It doesn't get old. So hyped. It doesn't
get old. So hyped. What do you got? I was so
ready for it this time. You're so ready for it.
I was so ready for it this time. You just reached
over and pressed it. It was nothing. Time perfectly,
I imagine. Yeah, absolutely. Steven, do we have
mail? Steven, tell us this awesome mail, Steven.
No, I forgot the mail at home. Steven, we played
the thing. Well, I'll tell you about the mail
at home. I bought stickers. I bought stickers
from Chelsea the Selkie. Oh, hell yeah. Her Etsy
shop. That's awesome. Yeah, they're cool. Describe
them in detail worthy of a thousand words. That's
what a picture's worth. There's a beholder and
there's a mimic and there's one other thing that
I'm having trouble remembering. If only you had
them physically in front of you. But it's something
fantastical and awesome. Segue from, well, not
segue from, we're kind of staying on the same
subject. Okay. David is going to be streaming
with Chelsea on December 6th. Oh my goodness,
I am? Or the 9th. Wait, what? So the 6th or the
9th. I don't remember. Whatever's that Saturday.
That's happening? It's a thing? You said it was
a thing. Oh, I didn't know if it was approved.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You were the one who approved it. Wait, wait,
wait. I'm in, I'm in. No, I'm in. I'm excited.
This will be cool. I just didn't know. Yeah,
what's up? Why am I just hearing about this now?
We've talked about it a long time ago, and we
shelved it, and now we're picking it back up.
All right, I kept you in the dark on songs. This
is okay. No, I think we all talked about it together,
but it was like two months ago. Nope. Were we
drunk? Is my mic cut? I don't hear me. There
I am. Hey, it's me. You get to hear the sausage
get made tonight. I know. I know. Oh man. We
were in a, we were in a rough place today. We're
in rough, rough business. Um, speaking of streaming.
Oh, nevermind. This isn't, this isn't getting,
no, this is getting, this is getting released
on the 13th. I'm live streaming again on the
sixth with the even footing crew. Oh shoot. Yeah.
So if you listened last week, cool. If not. At
this point, the video will be up on YouTube.
Dude, seriously, check it out. It was hilarious.
Guy Normalman, is that the character? Yes. So,
so funny. If you like Legos, you're going to
like Guy. Guy likes Legos. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All
right. All right. All right. All right. Anything
else? Any big news? Oh, I'm sure there might
be, but. Think about that. While I address a
couple of quick wedgies. Because we got to do
the wedgies. We got a big fight. Fight means
wedgies because we are professionals and we mess
up all the time. Is that the next drop we can
work on? A wedgie drop? Yes. Just like somebody.
I mean, you do a great wedgie scream. That's
true. A clothes ripping sound and a Jeremy wedgie
scream. It's got to be a Jeremy scream. Yeah.
Just keep that. With like a thousand echoes.
Yeah, just a little. With a fart on the end?
There's so much force with it, man. It's going
to move everything out of there. I'm always down
for a little fart. Oh, yeah. These are actually
pretty cool because they're wedgies that didn't
really hurt anything because there's little ways
around them. The biggest thing on this. The best
wedgies are the ones that don't hurt. The best
wedgies are the ones that don't hurt. Put it
on a t -shirt. Ramin has Serenno. He's at negative
four. We didn't... Remember that during the fight
itself? No. But here's the thing. He only had
two actual attacks that would have mattered,
this would have factored for. That was the two
guiding bolts. The first one would have hit anyway.
Yes. And the second one would not have hit the
light, but Ramin does have an ability that was
unused called Blessed by the Sunweaver? Yes.
Yes. I believe that lets you add, essentially
you would add a die to a roll that you could
have chosen, and that would have... Yeah, I think
it's like 2d4. Yeah, I would have nullified that.
Yeah, absolutely. So I just assume that's been
used. We'll just burn that up, and then Ramin
is totally fine. If you had remembered the negative
4, you would just drop that on that roll, I imagine,
because that's just kind of, you know, how that
would go. So that was the one wedgie, and I don't
think there's much more except for one other
one. This is a pretty funny one, and this is
actually pointed out by... Is this one from Andrew?
Yes. Andrew fully forged our Discord, pointed
this out, and I love this. While the spell enlarge
slash reduce lasts for a minute, a potion of
growth lasts for 1d4 hours. And you can't just
uncast it or break concentration. So Blanche
is just enormous for a while. And that's just
something we're going to deal with. Blanche,
you're just big. Do you want me to roll that
right now? Roll it right now. Roll it right now.
This is awesome. Yeah, it's great. You're coming
down from this fight and you're just still under
medication. It's still happening. You're not
coming down. One. One hour. Oh, that's the least
funny number. That's good, because out of the
box, it was four. Out of the box, it was four.
But hey, rules is rules. Rules is rules. Good
or bad, out of the box doesn't count. Yeah, fine.
I'll allow it. I've lost some good rolls that
way, but I'm honest. You are honest. You're an
honest soul. Speaking of honesty, I got a question
for you guys. We do a lot of homebrew rules here
in Fantasy Pants and in all my campaigns because
I just like to mix things up and do some weird
stuff. Not a lot, but some. We're somewhat heavily
homebrew, probably compared to other groups.
So I want to talk to you guys about it a little
bit because I think homebrew rules are important
to discuss here and there when you're using them.
And I want to ask how you guys feel about our
bonuses and minuses system, which is, if you
don't remember, basically if we go beyond advantage.
will say, you can't stack advantage, basically.
You can't roll three d20 and take the highest.
That's kind of crazy powerful. So instead, when
there's a secondary advantage on advantage, we
add a bonus. And that does stack. It's a plus
two. It's a plus two, plus two, you get a plus
four, you get a plus six advantage. It's pretty
confusing, I think. And that's kind of why they
don't stack advantage. They don't have rules
for this in the book. But I like it because it
makes cool maneuvers like, I don't know, blowing
up skylights actually... matter a lot more. It
means that you're not just going to say, hey,
you know, that was really cool you did that thing,
but he's already kind of, he's got his hands
on the ground or whatever, so you're going to
get advantage anyway and the other thing didn't
matter. What do you think about that? Is it too
confusing to have these bonuses and minuses?
The plus twos and negative twos? Well, what are
the negative twos coming from? What's the minuses
for? Oh, stack disadvantage. And then some things
like being invisible will give you a bonus on
stealth, checks. So you have plus two for that
because, you know, a little something, something
extra. Being invisible needs to be buffed, I
think. Flanking is a plus two because flanking
with advantage just undoes a lot of other abilities.
It just makes every fight a flank fest. Exactly.
That's the thing. If you automatically get advantage
from flanking, then that's all that you're going
to get. I've played that way, and it's easier
but less fun. Yeah, I learned quickly that flanking
is not as fun as giving a little extra. And then
you could flank, get the plus two, and also get
advantage in another way. It just makes things
a little more exciting. I don't have any problems
with that. The system? Why? Do you have problems
with the system? No, no. I just want to make
sure we're touching base, because homebrew rules
are, you know, they're a mixed bag. The game's
designed the way it is for simplicity's sake,
and sometimes that can feel very lacking. Hell,
even things like, like Andrew pointed out, that
when monsters stat blocks, was this Andrew? That
when monsters stat blocks, they double their
damage? Oh, yes. He was talking about larger
weapons or something like that. Yeah, with spell
legs enlarged, your weapon's larger. So, like,
if you were a monster, say, and you were, like,
one size category larger, you'd be doing double
damage, essentially. Right. But Blanche gets
bigger, and you're doing an extra D4, like, and
nothing. Right. Which feels really bad, but it's
also balanced. And, like, there's that hard thing
where it's, like, you want things to feel good.
You want things to feel like they make sense
in the narrative and in the world. Yeah. But
you also got to find a balance, and that's where
homebrew rules can be tricky. So I want to make
sure we're talking about them. I mean, I guess
I agree that 10 -foot Blanche, because, I mean,
like, this potion that we used, is a very valuable
thing yeah something that we're not going to
come by often i don't know what the like book
price is on it but to gain 1d4 extra damage for
an hour feels a little small and you will never
see another potion again well right exactly i
think you said it jokingly but i think i meant
it uh but yeah yeah so it's one of those things
yeah yeah take it as you go um Think about things
and always think very carefully. There's times
where I almost rule on something and then realize,
wait, that's crazy and we'll break the whole
game. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Are you saying
that this system's not perfect? It's very much
not perfect. Holy shit. Yeah. Blasphemy. It's
a system developed in the mind of a madman. Yep.
Not perfect. So we do what we can to. make it
our own and fun. And hope all you guys listening,
hope you guys like it. Hope it's fun for you
guys because it's fun for us. Most important
is that we're having fun because we're having
fun and everyone else is fun too. And we thanked
Andrew on the Discord server, but hey, again,
thank you so much. That was a good catch and
a lot of fun. And thanks again, Andrew, for being
on the Discord server. Your kneecaps are safe.
Zoobeard Rubyfist will not be showing up unless
you want to. I bet he'll have a beer with you.
Yeah. I bet. I bet. Um, let's get into it. We're
going to play a game. I'm ready to play. I'll
play a game. You stand in the pig pen surrounded
by all sorts of workout equipment, fitness, whatever's,
uh, Hector at the stands is just like staring
at you guys in awe. Um, actually, no, he's down.
He's down. He's down at the end of the ring,
uh, holding John Franklin's head, who is once
again, just fully passed out. Um, Sean's out
of the episode. He worked really hard. Okay,
that's easy. And Ramin's kind of like tending
to him off to the side as... Is he alive? Yes,
yes, he'll be okay. Very well. Leave him there
for this episode. I should tend to him. I will
leave the episode as well. And Ramin just walks
out of the place. We don't need either of you
tonight. Things will go a lot quicker and smoother
that way. Blanche, you were leaning over at the
end of the ring before, but like Pigman just
kind of spoke to you. Once again, just going
on about how excited he is to show off his maybe
new sidekick to the bosses, the men up top. So
I did you kind of turn around. Dresden, you're
still in the ring. You guys just did a predator
handshake or something. Whatever it was, it was
really cool. It was really cool. There was a
lot of like forearms and muscles. It was a handshake
between two badass men. Hell. Yes. They like
slap skin and a little bit of sweat sprayed everywhere.
That's how you know it's good. Pigman just kind
of like reveling in the moment. You can see this
almost like he's just so thrilled. All this pent
up energy is kind of finally leaving him. He
almost looks like he's like stretching. He kind
of does this long sort of... I feel pretty good.
I feel really good. I might be able to sleep
now. Honestly, I was kind of, you know, what
they say, I was kind of blue -balled a little
earlier not doing a fight. That's naughty. I'm
sorry. Marvel wouldn't let me say that out loud.
I didn't get to do a fight earlier. I didn't
know it was going to be that kind of fight. Blanche
in the ring sits crisscross applesauce and leans
up against the ring support. So Marfil filters
what you're able to say, do they? Oh, I mean,
you know, I gotta go out to the public. I'm supposed
to be good with the kids. They always say, hey,
big man, all about the kids, all about the kids.
And so I shouldn't say anything naughty because
the kids won't like that. I understand, I understand.
Well, who gives you all those rules? You know,
a number of folk, whoever spokesman they bring
down. I'm just trying to learn the important
names around here. Usually it's Mary. Mary comes
by a lot. But I don't think she's important.
She's just kind of the, I think she's the pig
man, the pig man person. You know what I mean?
She's got a handle on her. I think I like a couple
of those that just try to keep me in check. Sometimes
I give them trouble. Like the invitations, I
think Mary's going to get in a little trouble.
Marfil seemed kind of relieved when everyone
didn't show up for the fight. Because I promised
these invitations in public, I couldn't really
take them back. That didn't work out. But now
I'm bringing you guys, and I don't care what
they say, because I've got a new sidekick now.
This is going to be really cool. I'd be happy
to hear your imitations. No, no, no, invitations.
Oh, invitations. I can do imitations. Okay, I'll
hear them. All right, I'm going to do you. I
like imitations. How was that? That wasn't bad.
Can you imitate Mary? Mary, oh, um. Okay, I mean...
Pigman, you shouldn't say that. Pigman, you gotta
be more careful. No more body... I shouldn't
have said that one out loud. Sorry, sorry. It's
okay, you're among friends. Yeah, I am, aren't
I? I can't wait. We're gonna have a good time.
I mean, I'll be honest with you. I mean, this
party, I mean, it's... So dull. It's going to
be so boring. Just a bunch of fancy robes sitting
around a table of a little garden party. And
I got to do all sorts of feats of strength and
whatnot and impress them. You know, everyone
wants to see the pig man. But. But it's important.
I mean, it's important. I get it. I mean, Marfil's,
well, they're expanding. You know, they're doing
some big cool stuff, Mary told me. Like, they're
going to move into the old city. They're actually
going to expand the ironworks out. They're going
to create, like, you know, sort of camps for
the people there. Really going to help up living
conditions by creating sort of their own sort
of walled -in kind of camp areas to live in.
And then you can go right from the works back
to their camp homes and, you know, have some
works right there. It's going to be good. It's
going to be good. And the guardian armors, they're
going to start expanding those to other worlds,
you know? Highest bidders can get a sort of line
of them themselves, and those things are tough.
They have me fight them when they make new models,
and they get stronger every time, I'm telling
you. So, yeah, it's a big party. They're getting
all sorts of new investors coming in from off
-world. I think this is the first time in years
it's had people at his manor. Even I haven't
been there very much. Wow. The God Amas, certainly
they can't beat you. Can they? Oh, of course
not, of course not. I mean, enough of them might
give me some trouble. How many do you think?
How many would it take to beat me? Yeah, if you
had to guess. Oh, man, that's a home pretty strong.
Well, how many would it take to beat me? Oh,
to beat you? Well... Be honest. Hmm, it might
depend. If you don't get the jump on them, I
think even one might give you some trouble. They're
very strong then. They're tough. Yeah, they're
tough. And they don't really think themselves.
They just listen to orders. And I mean, they're,
you know, they're impressive. I mean, that's,
that's, it's been, I mean, it's his own model,
just like the forges, just like everything. It's
been Del Prado. They say every brilliant new
forge or, or, or mining technique or, or, yo.
Artificery all starts as a blot of ink in Nitzman's
notebook. Well, I would like to know who is the
battle tactician who gives them their orders.
That's a very impressive feat, certainly. Oh,
I don't know. Must be someone from the Tressina,
right? I think. I mean, they're police in the
city. The Tressina would have to handle that,
I think. Yes, that's very interesting. The Tressina,
huh? What, what? Hold on. Can you give me like
one minute to read something? That's very interesting.
The Tressen, what, what? I'm still doing Blanche,
see? Sorry. Are they the ones that trained you?
Oh, no, no. I've always been strong. As long
as I can remember. I've been the strongest guy
in the whole world. Even when you were really
young? Well, yeah. When I was... What were we
talking about again? It's all right. It's all
right. Okay. I was just impressed by your skill.
Oh, yeah. And I was curious how you attained
it. Yeah, yeah, no, I... And, like, his eyes
just keep fogging over as he just kind of stares.
I... And, like, there's a weird moment. And his
voice almost cracks and changes. Did I have a
brother? Did I have a... Did I have a... Huh?
What? Sorry. What was going on again? Well, we
were talking about the party tomorrow. Oh, the
party, yeah. You were telling me what to expect
and who I should meet. Oh, it's going to be so
dull. It's going to be so boring. But it's all
right. We'll have fun. We'll have fun. Is the
Tressa not going to be there? Oh, yeah. I think
some of them at least. The big ones. The ones
I've met. Oh, Donya Estella. Oh, she'll be there.
You know she'll be there. Estella will be there?
Estella will be there. Yeah, Donya Estella's
a big one. She's always hovering around Hitsman.
You know, I think she spends a lot of time just
kind of keeping an eye on him. Oh, I see. I think
it's kind of important. I think a lot of the
ones seem to, you know, like her a lot and listen
to her a lot, so. She keeps an eye on him, you
say, huh? Well, she's always around. You know,
every time I've been to the manor, anytime anyone's
been to the manor, I feel like Donya Estella's
there, too. Maybe she lives there. I don't know.
Well, I'd just like to know how to comport myself
at the party. Who does Marfil tell you to be
on your best behavior around besides Stella?
Well, let's see. So Estella will be there. She's
important. Estella, I'm sorry. Estella, yeah,
yeah. Don't get her name wrong. She's mean. She's
like a mean grandma. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, no.
She's rough. You don't want to get in her bad
side. She's yelled at me a couple times. Can
you believe it? No one yells at me. Apart from
her. You'll probably see Donna Ponko. He's around.
He likes to drink a lot. We drink together sometimes.
He's all right. He's, you know, he doesn't, he
doesn't do much. He just likes to drink and enjoy
himself. He's always at the parties. And, oh,
Donya Zico, she'll be around for sure. She likes
to talk to all the off -worlders. She's kind
of like the, you know, the spokesperson for the
Tress in this order. She really gets out there
to other worlds and, you know. Dresses up nice
and all that. She's funny. She's funny. She's
really nice. If you talk to her, she's really,
really, really nice. Oh, well, I'll keep my eye
out for her. No, like, don't you, Stella. She's
not nice. Oh. Well, that's a little scary. Yeah,
yeah. I'm excited. We're going to have fun. We're
going to have fun. You guys, I mean, how are
you feeling? You guys excited for this? Do you
need anything from me? Oh, well, I'm, hmm. I
suppose I am a little nervous. Do you think they'll,
uh... Do you think they'll like us? Do you think
they'll accept us at the party? Oh, yeah. I mean,
what's I say? I mean, they're not going to be
very happy that I brought you because it's very,
very private, you know, to all the big people.
But, I mean, they don't like to taste. They know
to me too, too much because, you know, I'm the
pig man. Because you're kind of a big deal. I'm
kind of a big deal, yeah. Sometimes I forget.
Hang on. Hang on. He kind of stops for a second.
Hey, Hector. And Hector kind of looks up. And
Pigman sort of like almost like crawls over to
him. And through the sort of ring, he's like
whispering something. And Hector's like, eyes
light up, like astonished and wide. And he looks
over the both of you and gets this huge smile
on his face and just nods and turns around to
Pigman and says, yes, I think so. All right.
Yeah, go ahead. Just go for it. It's fine. It's
fine. I'll clear it with Marfil or whatever.
I don't care. And Hector just runs out of the
room very excitedly. Well, I must say, Pigman,
you have me curious. Oh, just do it. This will
be fun. So... Every once in a while, Marfo runs
these little promotions and stuff, right? Like
they make a new product and they want me to,
you know, sample it or show it off or sometimes
they'll go to events and I'll give it out. It's
kind of an advertisement. Well, they got some
new stuff that they just gave me to check out.
And I think maybe, I mean, the two of you lasted
in the ring. You were still in the ring when
I got, you know, a little tired. So I think,
I think you heard it. Oh, oh, there he is. Hector
comes back in, you know, maybe a moment later.
He says he didn't have to go too far for this.
He kind of heard some bustling, maybe a room
just outside. And he comes out with, it looks
like a sort of cloth covering, maybe like a large
sort of, what do you call it? A dibbida? A platter?
I guess. Not really, but we'll go for that. Kind
of like a platter. It's just like something he's
carrying, you know, something on. Oh, a dibbida.
Okay. A dibbida. A dibbida. So he comes over
with a dibbida, and he slides it. through the
ring and just kind of looks over and kind of
looks to you guys, steps back, and he looks excited.
What's on the dibbida? What's the dibbida? It's
covered. You guys want to go over and pull it
open? Blanche, go see what's under the dibbida.
He gets the dibbida covering the dibbida, so
you got to pull up the dibbida to see what's
underneath. All you see is two long -looking
lumps. Ooh, weapons maybe? Lumps, you say? Yeah,
Blanche is going to check it out. All right,
get ready. Just brace yourselves. It's going
to be cool. You pull it up and you're struck
by brilliant gleaming steel. You see a long sword
and a war pick. Oh, what? Wait, what? You see
they both have like this sort of almost pig snout
design like in the sort of handles of them. And
I think immediately as you look at them, as you
see the sort of incantations scribble down like
the blade and around like the sort of the pick
of the war pick, you realize these are plus one
magic weapons. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah, this is
the, check them out. This is part of the new
Mighty Pigland magic weapon line they're releasing.
I mean, this is top dollar stuff. But like I
said, they gave it to me to kind of, you know,
I have a couple of samples. I got, you know,
one of different, I don't have a spear. Sorry,
little guy. He's knocked out. He looks at Sean.
But yeah, please, please. I mean, come on. You
guys are, we're friends, right? My gift. My gift.
Yes, Pigman. Yes. We are friends. And this is,
this is quite exclusive. So Jeremy, a little
bit of table talk. The question that you were
planning to ask to wrap things up. Yes. I think
I have an idea that's going to do the same thing,
but maybe a little bit better. Oh, okay. So if
you have anything else you want to say. I had
that and what I asked earlier, which definitely
just got a lot of information from that, too.
Yeah. And I'll just, just to recap for everybody
listening, because I know we're doing a lot of
shifting here and there. Like, your basic mission,
you know, even at this point, is to learn more
about Serenno and what's causing it. You know
there's some sort of demon that can chip to an
owl that's been moving around the city and outside
the city, making people deathly sick. You know
that it's targeting people, seemingly, you know,
people who are against the Trezina. It cannot
be accidental. This is weaponized. And you know
that this party is one of your best chances to
learn more about the Tressina, to learn about
their deal with Marfil. What happens when you
get there is entirely up to you. There's no mission
objective. It's just do what you can to learn
more. This is a once -in -a -lifetime opportunity,
and you managed to get in. So whatever you need
to know before going in, you might be able to
get more from Paloma, but... The pig man's also
probably your best source of information you
have right now on what you're going to face.
So that's what you know. Yeah. The pig man's
just look at you guys like, oh, look at that.
When you come in sporting Marfil steel, oh, man,
they're going to like you a lot. They're going
to like you a lot, I think. Oh, that's great.
That's very reassuring, pig man. Oh, man. This
is going to be fun. All right. Steven's a little
nervous for this one. Blanche is going to look
up at the pig man and she's going to say, pig
man, I'd like you to finish that Mary impersonation
that you were doing earlier. And she's going
to cast suggestion. Tell me a little bit about
suggestion. Okay. You suggest a course of activity
limited to a sentence or two. and magically influence
a creature you can see within range that can
hear and understand you. Here's the one sentence
that might fuck me. Creatures that can't be charmed
are immune to this effect. We don't exactly know
what the pig man is. You and I have some guess
that he's not natural or human or whatnot. Right.
Do you want me to keep reading? No, I think we're
good. Oh, God. We got enough. I don't know if
that's good or bad. Right. Oh, shit. The hard
thing is, are you doing this in any way stealthily?
Is he seeing you do this? I mean, he's going
to be suggested regardless, but like, what you
need to be worried about is will he understand
what happened? He's very simple. There's nothing
in here that says, you know, kind of like friendship
or anything or whatever. Components. VSM? What
do you got? Verbal and material. Okay. So you
say this and then you do say an incantation of
some sort. You will have to do that out loud.
but you rolled very high on insight on the pig
man before. Yeah. He's not very smart. Yeah.
He might not understand what this means. Right.
My thought was that, I mean, I don't know this,
but I was just guessing that, like, the suggestion
was the verbal component of it, but I don't know
that. You know, like, you can't suggest something
without saying something. Interesting. Interesting.
I know what we're going to do. Because there
are other spells that say that the target knows.
Yes, Friends does do that. And there's nothing
in here about that. Charm Person does that. I
think you're right. I think you're right. And
I thought about doing it when Hector was out
of the room, but Hector's an inside man. Yeah,
he's with you. He likes the pig man. It seems
like he authentically likes the pig man. Right.
But he also isn't trying to get information because
he even said, don't ask about Marfil. Don't tell
him about Marfil doing bad things. Yeah. Okay.
You asked about finishing that thought. Because
he started to say something about a body. It's
a 14 wisdom save. All right, let me do a save.
That makes sense. And I have one button, but
I don't think that's enough to give you disadvantage,
so. It is not. He looks at you with his gigantic
brown eyes, this light, soft brown color, and
those eyes almost sleepily begin to close. What?
Oh, Mary. Yeah, Mary said, you can owe more bodies.
Sometimes when I get excited, sometimes when
I get excited, people die. My heart covers it
up, but I didn't mean to kill nobody. I didn't
mean to kill. What? What languages do you guys
speak? Fuck me. Fuck. Aquan and common. Okay.
Common and abyssal. Okay. You don't recognize
the words, but I will let you roll a history
check to see if you, you won't know what he's
saying, but you might know the language based
on just like hearing. Bits and pieces. You know,
you could tell what French is even though you
don't speak French. Exactly. Yeah. 22. 16. With
a 22. He's speaking giant. Huh. Interesting.
Interesting. Interesting. Okay. He's 11 feet
tall. He's 11 feet tall. Yeah. He sort of snaps
out of it. I sort of blink. I want you to roll
a D100 for me. Oh, no. Oh, no. Why did I ever
buy this D100? Let me know if you get below 20.
87. What are we talking about again? You were
telling us about these swords. Oh, yeah. They're
really cool, yeah. Those are awesome swords.
Blanche is hefting hers. The balance is, wow,
I mean. Yeah. Quite impressive. Why am I crying?
I'm sorry. That's weird. My eyes are leaking.
Must have been all the excitement from the...
the fight. I bet it was the excitement. I bet
it was. You guys were the best. You guys were
the best. No one's ever cried in the ring before.
Oh, man. It was such a beautiful combat. It was
a really beautiful combat. It was beautiful.
I was hugging you at the end. I was breaking
bones, I thought, and you were fine. You're tough.
You are tough. This bond is unbroken. What the?
What was the thing? The thing with the thing?
The shadowy guy? That guy's cool. What's his
name? Is he around? What's his name? I'll teach
you. Whoa. I'll teach you. Whoa. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I'm curious, though. Huh? From one brute to another.
Yeah? I know we all got our reasons for why we
do things. But why the mask? I mean no offense
or disrespect, I'm just curious. One successful
brute to another. I'm a luchador. You know, a
luchador's gotta have his mask. Never can see
under it. That's how it goes. Insight checks.
crit my fucking pants holy shit give it to me
okay you ask that question you stare him down
and as he says that he's kind of laughing and
you see he kind of like puts a hand up and almost
like like like tightening the mask like without
really thinking about it his eyes go a little
wide and you see like his fingers are shaking
just a bit and you have to wonder for a second
what could scare the pig man something about
losing this mask is absolutely terrifying to
him Yeah, no, I'm a luchador. I gotta keep my
mask. It's like identities, you know. And I'm
a luminary, too, so sometimes luminaries like
to stay secret, you know. That's how we do it.
Oh, I get that. I get that. Yes, yes, it's best
to keep your true identity hidden. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I am the pig man. I
mean, the mask is me. I am me. I'm the pig man.
There's no, there's nothing under the mask. I'm
very scared to ask any more questions. Yeah.
Did we get enough? I'm okay. Did we get enough?
I think we got enough. I think we got enough.
Well, tomorrow, our party begins, you know, a
little before sundown. How about you guys come
meet me here? Say, oh, boy. How about four o
'clock? Oh, and we can go in together. You mean
it, Pigman? Of course, yeah. You got to come
with me. Otherwise, the Guardian Armors will
kill you. It'll be good. You'll be torn to shreds
in a minute. Well, are there going to be enough
to kill me there? Oh, man, there'll be enough
to kill you and then kill five of you. Not me,
though. I'm tough. Yep. I'm sorry. I just tried
to Dresden laugh. Dude, do it again. I think
that's the noise that I should make when Crispin
is a hyena. Oh, fuck. Okay. No personality. Well,
heck, don't send me the way out if you guys,
you know. But, yeah, come on back tomorrow. You
can use the main door and all that. I'll be expecting
you. Four o 'clock, big man. See you then. I'll
see you there. Gives you a thumbs up. He just
kind of falls backwards. Asleep. And he's like
already starting to fall asleep in the middle
of the ring. Hector, dim the lights. Yeah, Blanche
is ready to scoop up her student and get the
fuck out of here. You're scaring Sean. Sean's
just full out. Well, Blanche is still large,
right? Yes. Oh, that's right. You're large for
an hour. So yeah, you'll have time to make it
all the way back being large. So yeah, you just
pick him right up easily. Ramin's just like,
is there room on the other shoulder? No, it's
okay. I'll walk. He's like, no, I'm still definitely
ill. Blanche will carry him. Oh, oh my goodness.
Wow. Thank you. On the other shoulder. You guys
are moving. Actually, thankfully, the walls of
this house are sized for pig men. So this time
you don't go through the servants. You would
have a hard time getting through. So he just
leads you to the front door, lets you step out.
into the night of Fiesta Town. Oh, my God. There's
so much to process from that. Yeah, we should
just call it there so that we have a week to
think about this. Well, on that note, you guys
will have some time to think about this because
I think it's nearly time, unless you have other
plans, anything you want to do to set up, I think
it's nearly time to move away from this group
and head back out into the Borderlands. That
sounds like a great idea. Yeah. Okay. I'm scared
to do anything more with pig men. So let's just
kind of zip -zop -zoop over to maybe you guys
are back in Salazar. Somehow, Giant Blanche,
you just barely shrunk down enough to get into
the tunnels. I think Giant Blanche had a hard
time getting down those tunnels. Yeah, they were
chit -chatting for a while. Yeah, and it was
a long walk back. So you were dropped down just
in time to work your way in. People help you
with Jean Franklin. They move him to a bed. Paloma
is astonished. Just, I was just... I'll tell
you, I was just sowing seeds out there. I didn't
think anyone would actually, you know, land.
You're seriously in. You're going to the party.
We're in. Wow. That's... We'll debrief tomorrow
about it. This is big. This might be the biggest
thing that's ever happened for the revolution.
We have people on the inside. And with all those
big names there, they can't risk embarrassment.
You're going to have power there. This is good.
I'm going to think about this. You guys should
rest. Quite important. You, like, woke up not
that long ago, but you're already just beat to
hell. She used all of her second -level spell
slots. Wow. Yeah. And you still, like, your KO
points are knocked down. I think you're still,
like, sort of woozy and tired. Yeah, that's right.
She's down to... I can't remember. I have too
many notes over here. Okay. Hell yeah. So you
guys move. Get set up in your rooms. And now,
before we switch over, I think there's something
very important we need to do. You have Sending
Stones. And they're going to reset at dawn. So
I think maybe before, I don't know if you guys
go right to sleep, if you guys stay up for a
while and talk about things. But at some point
this evening, before dawn, Dresden, if you want
to send a message to Crispin. Yes. Okay. Yes.
Okay. What time are you going to do it? Before
it's going to reset. Okay. So maybe like right
before dawn, before you maybe like fully go to
sleep. Yeah. Maybe like just as we're like laying
down. Okay. Kind of like. In bed. It's like texting
his buddy. Yeah, texting in bed. I got the covers
over me, a little flashlight. Kicking your legs.
Oh my goodness. W -U -U -2. Do you think she
likes me too? I'm trying to think what Crispin's
name is in your phone. Okay. I'm cool with pausing
this if we decide we want to table talk a little
bit. You guys want to table talk? No. What? Okay.
If there's anything that I'm missing, because
it's not going to be the full 26. Yeah, I think
it's pretty straightforward. Yeah. Okay. Dresden
will lift up the stone. You kind of activate
it, and it's sort of like the mouths in the stone
open. Befriended pig man. Infiltrating Marfil
investor party tomorrow. All powerful players
in. One space. Tressana may be in control. We'll
send more info after party. Wow. Perfect. 24.
What do you think? Excellent. That's awesome.
You say these words, and the stone in the mouth
starts to open and close, and you almost hear
this whispering sound effect. behind your words,
almost like a weird static as you speak. And
we pan, follow this whispers, follow this voice.
We follow deep into the stone, into the darkness
inside. And then we pan out of an ear carved
into a very similar stone being held by Crispin
Dubois. I was gonna say, I was like, it better
be fucking Crispin. You, uh, you, you were sleeping,
uh, downstairs of the pub. Um, You arouse in
the very, very early hours by the... It's almost
like the way the cell phone rings. You just kind
of hear this whispering tone, and you kind of
grab it, pick it up, and the mouth begins to
open. Sorry, that's my creepy ringtone. It's
on you. Everyone else sleeps through it. I downloaded
it on Halloween. I actually will say one thing.
You wake up. To answer this, you look over. You're
probably like, oh, is everyone else awake too?
Dance and Jules are still sleeping in different
parts of the room. Arhalon's gone. Fuck. Jesus
Christ. He's going to go kill somebody. And you
get that message. Okay. Can you refresh us? That's
not my message. Yeah, that was four words. Can
you refresh us real quick about 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. I'll stop counting. What
are you? Refreshers about the name of the places
that we're going. I don't have that map up. Okay.
I believe you are heading to the reason or peak.
So basically. Real quick recap for you guys,
because again, we're switching around a lot.
It's been weeks, yeah. You guys have been looking
for Miskin. You heard about a demon killing the
bounty hunters after him. You assumed, hey, maybe
it's the same demon. Either way, there might
be information on Miskin out there where the
bounty hunters are all gathering. You came, you
killed, you conquered, you found Arhalon. Arhalon's
also seeking for Miskin. Arhalon has been killing
the bounty hunters and Arhalon has learned that
Miskin may have last been seen at a farmhouse
not far from where he was initially supposed
to be. located or spotted, which is a town called
Hollow. He was supposed to be moving east from
that town, and east of that town, there are a
number of farmhouses. The one that Arhalan suspects
Miskin was at has been essentially destroyed,
the entire family killed. He has no way of tracking
from there, but he has reason to believe Miskin
was there before the killing, and not after.
That is down at the base of what's called the
Ruisanor Peaks. And people believe that the deaths
were caused by ettins who come down from the
mountains and essentially just every once in
a while commit some murders, do some terrible
things. Usually they take livestock. Usually
it's very minor. This was very aggressive. So
your current plan is to head towards the peaks,
towards that farmhouse tomorrow, traveling sort
of south and west and seeing what you see. Unless
you have other plans. If you want to just go
north and see what's over there. Go ahead. I
don't care. I'll make it up. Nope. It's a dragon.
That's fine. Okay. Crispin will send his message.
Found Ahalon. Seeking Miskin together. Heading
to last point. Ettin's attacked. Man, I feel
like that's all I need to say, but yeah. I think
he got the point across. Yeah, you got it. Cool.
So you send your message. Stone dies down in
your hand. And you have pretty high passive perception,
correct? Yeah, I think so. As you're kind of...
I don't have his page open yet because I was
playing Blanche. Oh, yeah. Sorry. We're switching
it up. We're back. Passive perception is 17 for
Crispin. You hear from up the stairs. You're
currently in the basement of the pub. You hear
a... Sounds like something scraping, wood scraping
against wood. Someone sort of panicking. Yeah,
Crispin's running up there. Okay. God damn it.
This is not going to... You're moving pretty
quickly? Yeah. So as he moves up, Jules, you
kind of slowly begin to blink awake as well,
hearing the sounds of Crispin moving. Dance as
well, just pops up. Yeah, I don't think it's
slowly waking. I think Jules is pretty well attuned
to things where he can wake up very quickly if
something's going on and be ready. Used to bad
shit. Yeah. Okay. Crispin, you break through
the top of the stairs. You push open the door
that has been closed behind Arhalon's up there.
And as you move out, you're the first to see
that Arhalon has... His hands are on the throat
of the bound prisoner, the second of the boys.
His mouth is working, but no sound is coming
through. Just a... It's Ahalan just like, you
fucking swine! Did you think you were going to
get away with it? Did you think? Please don't,
Ahalan. And at this point, Jules and Dance are
behind you. Eterna turns around. Someone has
to do the dirty work here. I can't stop you.
But Zebulon wouldn't do it this way. Zebulon
is dead because of killers like him. We can cut
him free and he'll just go on and kill someone
else. Or do we have time now to bring him into
the Sky Prison? To take him to the Speakers for
the Ancestors? Come now. We can't leave him with
these townsfolk. He may not be much. But he's
enough to tear them apart. Do not forget he was
hunting a child. You're right. Of course you're
right. Crypt titans. Of course I'm right indeed.
If you kill him, I can't help you. And when you
get back to the Citadel, they'll take you in
too. And Sholay will be without both of her grandkids.
Sholay. I knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew
it. Hired to protect Zebulon. That's what you
said. Your job was to protect Zebulon. She put
you up to it, right? Grandmother. What are you
to her, hmm? There's no use in denying it now.
I was hired to protect Zebulon. And you, Jules.
You spoke to her that day in the manor. In Xena's
house. I wasn't there. I don't hear the words
traded. Too busy selling off your children to
die. You got a problem with Sholay? She's my
grandmother. I love her. And I fear her. Because
I'm smart. If you were smart, you'd step away.
Get away. If you're being used by her. Zebulon.
Zeb fought for peace and for light. Zeb fought
for himself. Zeb fought for the spotlight. He
has killed people. Maybe more than you. I've
killed people. But always in self -defense. Never
helpless, bound people. If you're so smart, you'll
put him down. That's real strength. To be the
good that you're fighting for. In the face of
your own anger. Whether you feel slighted or
not. He's kind of grinding his teeth. Good. If
good is the elimination of evil. Have we said
enough to roll persuasion on this bad boy? I'll
allow it. He's not. Go ahead and roll persuasion
and take advantage. Whoever wants to take the
help action. Did you say advantage? Yes. It's
your help action for Crispin. If you want to
roll it. Perfect. Yes. Yeah, you have a higher
charisma. I do. Make dance roll. I do. That reminds
me, David. At some point, we do need to add that
talisman that Zebulon had onto Crispin's sheet.
Okay. 17. Hands shaking. He slowly begins to
bring the body down the chair, legs touching
the floor. You want to wipe out evil. But if
you do it this way, you're only wiping out one
bit of evil. Because you're becoming the evil.
You're stepping in to replace it. I'm becoming
the evil. Me. Have you looked in the mirror lately,
Jules? Have you looked down at your fucking arm?
Every fucking day. But fine, if it's so important
to you that this whelp lives. What happens now
is all of your responsibility. He may well die
in the morning. The townspeople will do with
him what they will. Their own justice. If there's
any justice at all, he will die. He turns away,
looks back to you again, and I would heed my
warning. Grandmother will toss you aside, used
up and wrung out. Step over your corpse, she
moves on to her next assets. Her next victims.
Sholay has hired hundreds. Gained hundreds of
allies over her years in command. Yet she stands
alone today. What does that mean to you? Hmm?
Sholay and I aren't married, I'm just doing a
job. And I'll move on when it's done. But until
then... I intend to see it done. You are still
coming with us in the morning, right? The child
must be saved. That much we can agree on. So
let's focus on that. He actually looks kind of
down for a second, and something enters his eyes
that's like a weird kind of... Roll insight to
see if you can kind of catch what this is. Just
an eight. Just a three. Okay. There's a strange
look in his eyes. He can't quite catch what it
exactly means, but he's almost like mumbling
at the floor, just like, Jules, his name. What
is the child's name? I never asked. His name
is Miskin. Miskin Muddlehopper. Miskin Muddlehopper.
Miskin must be saved. He will be saved. I'm going
to do what I couldn't do for Zapp. Garhalon just
walks away. Starts moving towards a door. Then
he stops. Door partway open. The dark is still
on us. Rest. When the sun hits the sky, we go.
I'm ready. Steps out and then... Doors swinging.
As his massive form just steps out into the night.
Man, we're so awesome. First things first. Take
some buttons. Some? That was a really cool moment.
You argued well. You made Arhalon walk away.
Yeah, Arhalon didn't kill somebody. He didn't
kill somebody, and he walked away. You still
see the door sort of vaguely swinging. I feel
like we win the game there. Credits roll. I can't
remember which of the twins at the moment survived,
so I'm going to at least say the twin, the boy
in the chair just kind of... Thank you. Thank
you. Thank you. Stop. Yeah, Crispin puts the
gag back in him. You'll be somebody else's problem
in the morning. I think behind you, Jules, you
feel a hand on your shoulder. I do not trust
him. I do. Then you are a fool, Jules LaRoche.
Do you trust me? Of course not. That's why I'm
here, to protect you. And with that, she kind
of turns and begins going back down the stairs.
Fuck. Yeah, she just moves down to like kind
of, you know, you're some like packing some stuff
downstairs. What do you do in the immediate aftermath?
I hate Facebook so much. Okay. Yeah, you're going
downstairs. She's back. I think a moment later,
she sees you're kind of reappearing at the bottom
of the stairs. And I feel like a satchel with
her. And she goes, we're leaving soon. But there's
something I must do. I'll be back shortly, I
promise. And she just brushes past you and moves
out the back door into the town. I really want
to follow her. Do you follow her? But then she
can't trust me even more. Jules, I can't get
this thought out of my head. And Crispin points
over to the pooch's body. That armor looks like
a nice fit for you. I forgot there's armor on
there that we didn't take yet. In fact, actually,
let me just tell you right now, because I'm sure
this thing you will do at some point. Okay. If
you guys, do you guys take a look at the bodies?
Yeah. The pooch has 48 gold on his person. Woof.
Each of the boys has 20 gold on their person.
Yeah, on purpose. No, I did not. I missed that.
That was good. That was good. You're a podcaster
too now. He has his pota blade. It's basically
a short sword, but like a gauntlet blade. Not
magical. Um, and very bloody. Uh, yes, there's
three hand crossbows across all of them and 40
bolts between all of them. Two daggers, two sets
of leather armor, all this non -magical. And
on the pooch, one set of plus one magical leather
armor. If you wear this, it's leather armor,
but it gives you a bonus plus one. Cool. Yeah,
it's good stuff. Um, so yeah, if there's no other
objections, Jules will silently go down. Oh,
it's studded leather, sorry. It's magic plus
one studded leather armor. And unceremoniously
rip off the armor. Dan sits to the side, Arlan
sits to the side. You're getting this new magical
armor. You feel it. I mean, like, it's nice material.
It's just a sort of dark armor that just, I mean,
I think you, you know, that stylish part of you
realizes, hey, this is going to look really nice
on that cloak. But as you're doing that, Crispin,
you're... Eyes follow the door. You see the vague
swinging of it. Arholon's outside. And I'll ask
you, is there anything you want to do here in
this moment? Did Arholon go outside and leave,
or? He stepped outside. He didn't say what he
was doing, but I think you might get the impression
that he's cooling down. Okay, shit. Then let
me peek at the map real fast. Is that a dragonfire
joke? That's the wrong map. There's a back door,
if that's what you're asking. Okay, yeah. Yeah,
Dance went out that door. Well, but Dance is
leaving. And Crispin heard that she's leaving,
so I'm not leaving. But my head's all, I need
a little air. And Crispin heads out the back
door as well, sits on the stoop, and as he watches
Dance leave, if she's visible, I don't know.
Yep, you see her just kind of vanishing into
the town. She starts talking to some people,
and they start leading her away, and she's moving
deeper in town, talking to people. Huh, interesting.
All right, note that. And Crispin's going to
pull out. A small handcrafted wooden pipe and
a little pouch out of his other pocket. Put some
herbs in there and start to smoke. And what he's
really doing is casting augury. So it's not tea
this time, it's smoke? It's not tea this time.
Holy shit. He's the most old man. It's awesome.
Drinking his tea and smoking his pipe. It's one
of the weirdest ways to cast. I love this. Yeah,
it's like anything can be augury. Also, be careful.
Don't get too stoned. It's all about the herbs.
Okay. There are certain herbs that work for tea.
Uh -huh. There are certain herbs that work for
smoking. Uh -huh. And this herb that he has on
him. Marijuana? No. Okay. Just a regular old
run -of -the -mill smoking thing that's going
to make him see something else. Marijuana. Call
it what you will. He smokes it and puffs it,
and as he's blowing it into the air, he asks,
What are we going to find in these mountains?
You, this is your intention. What will we find
in the mountains? You say it out loud, you feel
it in your heart. You let the smoke trickle out
of your pipe. You cast this before, and I think
you cast it a few times now in your travels on
other worlds, and you've always had that same
feeling. That shifting of the earth that only
you can feel as something below. Something outside
of you is responding. You feel it again now.
Close. The ground shakes. You blow out the smoke
into the air. You can feel almost like the wind
begins to kick up. And again, just the sound
above you of distant storms, distant thunder.
Yet the sky is clear. Just a twilight sky filled
with stars. It's a smoke as it curls up towards
a starlight. The strange wind begins to take
it and shift it. Wheel and woe. You nod, expecting
this. But the wind comes again. A second change.
A second tremor beneath you. A second clap of
phantom thunder. Another scene in the smoke.
You see two figures. looking humanoid, tall,
and then a smaller one in between them. The two
ones have their sort of stick -like hands outstretched.
The small one reaching up and holding them, and
you see this, this symbol, and you know in your
heart, family. And we'll call it there.