Hey there, Pants people. Steven here. Just want
to say real quick before the episode, thank you
for listening. Thank you for hanging out with
us. Thank you for being here. We love you. Enjoy
the episode. As much as he has been celebrated
over the years, there have been a number of controversies
surrounding the pig man's character. For one,
some folks don't exactly trust his relationship
with Marvel Ironworks. Any company holding sway
over a top luminary is a dangerous, dangerous
proposition, I get that. It is worth noting,
though, that Marvel Ironworks has been an absolute
boom. to all of our worlds. This is especially
true on Sansatian, where their facilities have
shaped the economy and created many prosperous
jobs. If any company should be trusted with this
kind of luminary connection, it should be Marfil.
On top of that, some stories are spread of allied
rescue workers and soldiers harmed by the pigman
during intense confrontations with enemies of
the Concorde. Some killed, it's even said, when
the pigman is particularly taken in the heat
of battle. But these rumors are, if you will
pardon my turn of phrase, complete hogwash. And
the same goes for stories of luchadors and doors
brutally injured during lucha libre bouts against
the luminary. He may be a powerhouse of physical
might, but believe me when I say the pig man
has a serene and gentle soul. You know, I really
love doing these. It's like when we first started,
it's funny going back and listening to it because
they started off as just a way to recap. Like,
you know, and then we've totally done away with
that. But at first it was totally improvised,
me just recapping what happened in the last episode
to, like, catch you up. You started off improvising
this? The Aurons? Seriously? I did not have anything
written down for this. I had no idea. If you
go back and listen to them, you'll know. Holy
shit. They're terrible. The early ones are really
bad. Because back then I was doing, like, 16
campaigns at once, and we were, like, doing this,
but I had this mentality of, I can do this, but
I can't cancel anything. I can't, you know, this
has to be just as important as every other campaign.
And then it just, like, became a monster that,
like, took everything over, but it's great. I
love it. I love the effort that I could put into
these now and like, you know, having this, this,
this little chance to, to, I guess like showcase
the little bits of lore in the world. And it's
very fun. Um, and the only problem with it is
there's so much I can talk about here. Cause
it's a really good way to express, uh, ideas.
I have my head very quickly that you guys don't
need to find an NPC to delve into all this with.
Um, So, like, I love doing these, but I also
really miss having those fun sort of fan luminary
spotlights. And I do intend to have more soon.
I'm going to find slots soon when I don't have
a purpose, I guess, behind them to set the scene,
set the mood, give some backstory. And I'm currently
sitting on a sea of mechanics and lore for a
certain character, which is just amazing and
fantastic. And I cannot wait to take this character
and sort of push them into this world. And who
knows? Maybe. Maybe far down the line, these
little Easter eggs, these little, you know, hints.
What's the word you're looking for? Cameos. These
little cameos might end up being something a
little more. So if you're out there and you want
to put your luminary into this world, get on
our Discord server. Contact me because it's honestly,
it's pretty fun. Hey, now who's making Discord
plugs? Now who's making Discord plugs? Let me
continue keeping these tables turned. Steven.
I could not help but notice you are wearing overalls
today. Shocking. Tell us about your childhood.
Hilarious. Long, toiling days in the field. He
came out wearing overalls. He did. I swear he
did. He came out with a ponytail. I just wear
overalls for work. It's very convenient. Quite
comfortable. Easily washed. And it makes it easy
to steal the scissors, too. Yeah, I often take
scissors home in my pocket. You know how many
times I'm going in and saying, I'm going and
opening up a bag of hops. And I look around,
I'm like, where the fuck are the scissors? Well,
no. And then Steven's like, oh, no, here. They're
in my pocket. What you say is, where are the
good scissors? Because there are a couple pairs
of scissors. There's a couple pairs of scissors.
There's one good pair of scissors. But I always
have the red and black ones. Yes, you do. You
monster. That's the good pair. I cut a lot of
bags, baby. It's kind of like I've noticed the,
I had a couple incidents where I stole your duct
tape and afterwards I've noticed the duct tape
is now zip -tied. Do not steal the duct tape.
Duct tape is zip -tied. I will go company -wide
and chastise whoever steals duct tape. And I
want to steal his duct tape, but I can't because
you can't find the good scissors to cut the zip
-tie. Because I've got the scissors. You've got
the good scissors. It's like holding the key
to the lock. What, do you think I'm new around
here? Shit. Well, Steven, you seem like you had
something you wanted to bring up with us. Now
you're done talking about your riveting childhood.
Hmm, I don't know what you could be talking about.
Is it maybe this giant box of mail? Whoa! Quick!
Do the thing! Mail drive! You didn't need to
say it. It was just going to be in there. I think
it's in post. I think it's in post. That's in
post. It's in there now. Actually, no. I'll put
it on one of the soundpads here for next time.
It would be fun to have it on the floor. How
about a soundbag? God damn it. I feel so fucking
dumb for not putting it in there now. God damn
it. All right. Well, now I know how things work.
I'm an awful producer. You're the best producer
in the world. Don't you dare. Be nice to my friend,
Jeremy. This giant box is from... Friend of the
show, Rochelle. Oh, my gosh. No shit. Rochelle
again? She does so much. You are wonderful. It's
crazy. It's crazy. So like I mentioned, I don't
know, a couple episodes back, there was that
homebrew auction where I won some stuff. One
of the things I won was our map. So Rochelle
sent a huge box with the map and... Oh, my God.
Holy crap. Is that past? Is that past? What the
heck? Oh, my God. A butt ton of candy. I am looking
at a cornucopia of candy. It's amazing. Holy
shit. I collected Pez as a kid. I had a giant
collection. No shit? And I am pissed that I don't
know where it went in all those years because
I had some really rare ones. It was probably
worth tens of dollars at this point. Yes. Yes.
Are you making fun of money? Just a little. I
have a note. Hey, Steven. That's the voice I'm
going to use. Some spooky season goodies for
you and the guys. Hopefully David will like something
in here. Am I the picky one? Ah, shit. I'm the
John Franklin of the podcast now. Fuck. That's
a tall tree to cast shade from Alabama. Matt
plates are in the bottom. Smiley face. Cheers.
R. Thank you, Rochelle. Thank you, Rochelle.
So much. Oh, it's so cool. All right. All right.
Let's dig in. Let's dig in. We talked about Pez.
We got Pez. We've got some Reese's pumpkins.
Give, give, give, give, give, give. Reese's pumpkins?
Yes. Okay. That's all of them. This is mine now.
What is that? Monster hot chocolate bombs. What
the hell is that? Made with Belgian chocolate.
What? Oh, dude. There's a Frankenstein, a skeleton,
and a mummy. Dude, we should have thrown that
in our coffee. Oh. Yeah. Fuck. That would have
been good. That's pretty good. There's three.
There's three. That's awesome. There's three.
Next week we throw it in our coffee. It's almost
like she knew. Oh, fuck yeah. Not just candy
corn pumpkins. Oh, no. Not pumpkins. Craft candy
corn pumpkins. That's classy. That's classy.
Wait, I see the word sour. Small batch candy
corn pumpkins. I see the word sour. Sour jelly
pumpkins. Now that's some good sounding shit.
Oh, my God. Give me that. Oh, yeah, baby. Ginger
snaps. Bud's best cookies. Old -fashioned ginger
snaps. Whoa. Wow, they're on a candy. Holy mackinoli.
Whoa. What's a lemon plank? Uncle Al's lemon
planks. And stage planks. What? What? Is this
a staging joke? Because you and I have been up
on staging doing My Chimney. Oh, maybe. Lemon
planks and stage planks. I also have never heard
of this. I haven't either, but. It seems very
Alabama. I love it. It seems very Alabama. I
love it. We're almost to the bottom here. We're
almost to the bottom. We've got ghost dots. What?
You know dots. Everybody knows dots. Who killed
those dots? And they're like. Yeah, what are
ghost dots? They look like ghosts. They look
like ghosts. They look like ghosts. Oh. And.
I'm here for this one. This one's. Gross. This
one's tough to say. Gross. I'm here for it. It's
tough to get this one out of the mouth. I think
actually on the Discord server, I think Jeannie
mentioned these before. I think she saw these
at work. Oh, really? I think so. Candy corn flavor
red vines. What is a red vine? Like a Twizzler.
Oh, weird. It's like name brand Band -Aid. Instead
of calling it a bandage, they call it a Band
-Aid. Honestly? Twizzler is a... Maybe hot take?
Maybe hot take? Hot take, hot take, hot take.
I gotta make a hot take sound now. I prefer red
vines to Twizzlers. What? Yeah. I mean, it's
just a type of... I mean... I prefer red... Oh,
they're very different. Weird. They are very
different. Huh. And red vines are the only ones
where you can bite off each end and use it as
a straw for your soda. All right, let me get
over the candy corn flavor red vine hurdle first.
Okay. Okay. We'll make... Give me some space.
Give us some space. Oh, here's another note.
Whoa. Here, Jeremy. This one's for you. Oh, okay.
I mean, I just want you to read it. I'm going
to read this as David. What does that mean? I
learned this quote unquote classy method of paper
packaging from John at Black Blade Publishing.
Hopefully it's as effective for your map place
as it is. This is terrible. For pads of hex and
graph paper. I feel so bad now. Is that it? Is
there more? No, that was it. Okay. I was trying
to think of something David to say. You didn't
bring it home. I couldn't say it. I'm going to
take off my pants now. Pants! It's people. I'm
going full wiener. No, no. I had a cider. I'm
so sorry. I will say it is very well packed.
Oh, yeah. It's very well packed. Bring out the
murder knife. Yeah, my murder knife is here because
I've kept forgetting to bring it to work every
fucking day this week. Dude, dude, dude. We're
going to find out there's a serial killer working
in New Hampshire and all the wounds are made
with a strange double edged blade like scissors
that are particularly good. And you'll all know.
Where's your good scissors now, Steven? They're
at work. When you're opening that package. They're
at work. What, do you think I have time to commit
murder when I'm here? Fair. Fair. Beer is more
important, man. Beer is more important than murder.
It's not. There's just a little bit of scotch
tape. Hot take, hot take, hot take. No, that's
not what I'm going to do. I'm just going to take
your voice thing, hot take, hot take, hot take,
and like multiply the shit out of it. That's
kind of what she did with the mail time drop.
Be like Koli, the soul eater's voice. Oh, yeah.
I'm going to pan it left to right. Slow it down.
Oh, my God. Oh, man. That's so cool. Isn't it
wild to look at this map and be like, this is
where, not only is this a map for a three -par
amazing battle we had, it's not only amazingly
gorgeous, this is the map where Zebulon died.
You can look at the exact square in which Zebulon
died. Isn't that wild? That's fucking insane.
Oh, and she's got it initialed and dated down
in the corner, too. Yes, I asked her. I was like,
hey, you signed this, right? She's like, yeah,
I do. That's so cool. I need a gold star for
that spot where Zebulon died. Oh, double star.
Oh, oh, no, it's just, okay, never mind. Look
at this. I want to look. No, no map for you.
Fine. I'm just going to have a piece of candy
then. It's somehow even more gorgeous on paper.
That is. Okay. All right, guys. We frame these
and we hang them on the wall. Yeah, absolutely.
That is what's happening. My God, these are so
dense. All right. Well, now I've got chocolate
all over my hands. I don't want to touch the
map. I'm going for a candy corn red vine. I'm
not going to eat because I have to talk nonstop
forever. So that's kind of where I'm at. All
right. Well, give me like a minute. Fine. Take
a minute. All right. So you guys want to finish
this fight today? Now that we've gorged ourselves
on candy corn flavored red vines. We can get
into this. Or, or, or. I did watch The Secret
of NIMH earlier this week. I could talk about
it for six minutes. You come in with the most
random fucking movies and shows. I'd give you
60 seconds if you want it. No, it's cool. I can't
describe the movie. It's indescribable. Sure.
Yeah. NIMH stands for National Institute of Mental
Health. Real thing. There's magic in this movie.
I don't fucking, I'm not going to start. Hey,
let's do a fight, huh? Let's get back to it,
baby. All right. Cool, cool, cool. Nice crack.
First things first. Heard that before. God damn
it, Stephen. First things first, Steven Rodriguez.
I wronged you last week. And every week. Yeah,
fair. But last week in particular, I wronged
you because my ability, where I throw you against
the ropes, bounce you back, you fail to save,
and I get to attack you with advantage following
that as a reaction. Here's the problem. I did
not have advantage. Because I am currently under
the restrained condition, which means it would
have balanced out to normal. The first rule I
made would not have caused you to use your shield
spell slot. But the scene was really cool. Everything
played out perfectly. I don't want to get into
the realm of, hey, let's retract this, retract
that. That didn't happen. So instead, I'd like
to reward you this button. Hey, I'll take it.
As compensation for my failure. All right. So
you're down a spell slot you didn't need to use,
but you got a button, so maybe it's a good turn.
I'm happy for the button. I think I'm going to
need it. Okay, okay. And yeah, man, apart from
that, I am just loving, loving this fight so
far. And I'm loving the way these characters
seem to sort of embrace it. Do you think it would
be fair to say that both Blanche and Dresden
are enjoying this little bout? I think Blanche
is a little frustrated at this point, but I think
things are about to get fun. Okay. Yeah. I think
Dresden just thinks this whole thing is fucking
stupid. There's no fun bone in his mind. He's
not into it. This is kind of Dresden's general
demeanor. But, I mean, he's not just going to
not give it his all. Yeah. You know, it's still
a challenge. I love that this is like a party
of battle -hardened warriors. Like, Dresden,
yeah, you're so, you're just, you are this gritty
battle -hardened warrior. And this is what you're,
it's just awesome. David, can we real fast? I
don't know if I had it written down last week.
Yeah. But if I did, I've lost the turn order.
Okay. Turn order is going to be top of the round
is Dresden Kellig, then Jean, Blanche, Ramin,
Pigman. All the way down at the bottom. Yeah.
And I'm going to say you guys have gotten an
incredible start here. I mean, like. Seriously,
you guys have come in doing a ton of damage.
Dresden's been firing out hit after hit after
hit. Echo and Dresden Bolt are just getting in
there. It's been solid. You've taken some damage,
Dresden, some KO damage, but you've been putting
up a strong front. First to move, and I think
every attack you've made has landed hard so far.
Blanche, you have not been so fortunate, but
you've been set up. You are now giant sexy. You
know, buff Marge Simpson with a shadowy blade
in hand. Yes. Where are my giant notes? You are
buffed to hell. You are defensively and offensively
ready to go. So, apart from that, honestly, I
have not done the damage I could have done. I
missed out on legendary actions for the entire
first round because I went last. That was rough.
And then, since my choices of the pigment are
more like fun tactics, I only end up using two
of my legendary actions in the second round to
sort of pin Jaune. Given this, I want to be a
bit transparent with you about how this is going
to go. Because we're going into this fight now.
You've done a lot of damage, but things are about
to change. I don't expect you to fully defeat
the pig man. I don't expect you to reduce me
to zero HP. And nor does the pig man. He does
not think that is going to happen. He doesn't
think it's possible. Right. You mean us at level
four can't defeat the third most powerful luminary?
It would take too long for you to do that at
your level because he is, you know. Even if he
could survive that long, he would be very, very
high CR. His HP is very, very high, much higher
than anything you fought in this campaign. And
mechanically, all I want you to do is impress
him, satisfy his battle lust. And that, to me,
and to the pig man, means reducing him to half
HP. And you're doing amazing. You're doing an
incredible job of that. I'll satisfy your battle
lust. Oh, God. But things are taking a turn with
that. Let's fire up some music. Groovy. This
is a jam. I love it. The room feels suddenly
warmer. Yet a cold chill runs down your spines.
Goose flesh stands on end. There's an aura coming
off the pig man now. A heat. And your instincts
scream at you, warning you of sudden danger.
Hector stares towards the ring, wiping churro
sugar from his mouth. Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no!
And the pigman, meanwhile, is just laughing cheerily
and heartily. Oh, you guys are so great! I called
this rage. And mechanically, it pretty much is,
but that isn't really the proper narrative term
for what's happening here. The pig man has become
excited, overwhelmed by the thrill of battle.
Like a child bashing around his toys, he no longer
has the fine control over his body that he did
in the first two rounds of this combat. His plus
two bonus rage damage is going to apply to his
KO damage on all of his throws and attacks. And
on top of that, he's going to be doing some real
damage now too. He's still holding back, but
some of that actual true... pain and injury is
going to leak through. He can't hold back all
the way anymore. And so things are going to get
dangerous now. Just a bit. Keep in mind that
it costs 5 points of healing to heal KO points.
So you can split up a heal. If you roll for 8
healing, you can take it all to HP or heal 1
KO point and 3 HP. So that's going to be something
to look into. You could focus on healing KO points
if that's where you're lower. But then you might
open yourself up in HP world to become seriously
harmed. Right. So this is where it's going to
take some serious actual thought. A little bit
of balance. If you're knocked unconscious via
KO points, you will still need to heal a full
KO point, five points of healing, in order to
recover and stand again. If you're knocked unconscious
by damage, you just need the usual one HP to
heal and stand again. And remember, no matter
the circumstances of damage, if the three of
you in the ring are unconscious at the same time,
this battle ends in failure. Oh my god, let's
fight! With that in mind, Dresden is up! I'm
really glad you said fight, because I thought
you were going to say something else. Back to
the original plan. The pig man is cornered on
all sides. He's got Dresden's Echo and buff sexy
giant Marge Simpson behind him. He's got Jean
Franklin and True Dresden sort of in front of
him. I believe what you meant to say is buff,
sexy, giant, tall, blue hair lady. Sorry, yes.
And Ramin is sort of off to the side of the ring,
about sort of 20 -ish feet from all of this,
kind of getting ready to do what he can to help.
All right, so, yeah, Dresden is just going to
keep on going. He's going to go in for an attack
with his Warpick. Okay. That's a plus 5 to hit
on that. Okay. And that's a 23. That will hit,
for sure. Damage is 1d8 plus 5. Ooh. And that's
9 damage. I mentioned before, the Pigman's...
muscles are so taut, his body's so thick and
strong that your glows aren't going through.
As he's giggling and laughing, as this sort of
heat's coming off of him, when you hit, it's
almost just a scratch. Even less damage is going
through in this rage. As all physical damage
and rage is halved. Fuck. That's not great. Nope,
not at all. And still damage. Yes, yes, yes,
yes. And then I'm going to also use Unleash Incarnation.
So I can heighten my Echo's Fury so that whenever
I take the attack action, I can make one additional
melee attack from the Echo's position. Nice.
So I'm going to use that. Oh, by the way, I didn't
add flanking to the last one, but, I mean, it
hits, so. Yeah, yeah, good. I love it. Your attack
damage is halved. You still just simply double
your attacks. It's a warrior's mindset. I'll
just attack twice as much. And I attacked with
critting my pants. Holy shit! Oh, Echo crit!
Echo crit. Motherfucker. Did Dresden's Echo pack
a pair of pants? No, he just let it go all over
the ring. Crit the ring. I crit the ring. Give
me that crit the ring damage. Let's go. This
is good. This is great for you guys. 18. 18 damage?
18 damage. Wow, okay, despite the fact that you're
doing half damage, that one drives in hard. You
still get in there pretty good. I mean, yeah,
solid strike of the pig man from behind. Fuck
yeah. I love it. I mean, like, I like to imagine
almost like the same maneuver that he saw in
the dummy just happened now to him. Just like
this low strike up. Yeah, the exact same thing.
He's just like, not bad. Jean -Francois is still
being held by him. And before Jean -Francois
goes, I need him to make a strength saving throw.
Oh, natural oof. Oh, no, Sean. Dude. God damn
it, Google Chrome. We went over this. We were
trying to figure out how to stop notifications.
We couldn't figure it out. And now Facebook's
like, by the way, this seems like a good time
to tell you about a comment someone made. All
right, sorry. The frustrating part, even more
so than Gook Chrome, is... Nothing's more frustrating
than Gook Chrome. On Jaune's next turn, I was
going to do something that would give him advantage
on strength saves. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, hey, you
know what? You're still in my hands, and I have
three legendary actions, and now that you're
already pinned, I can use them all on throws.
So first things first, he's going to twist Jaune
around in front of him, wrap him in his arms,
and go in for a boar hug. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing
this still. Is the fight over when you run out
of those? My one goal in this fight is to never
run out of those. Here we go. So first things
first, KO damage. Jaune takes six. Oh, no. Holy
shit. He was at 12. That's not good. Jaune's
starting to like, you see his eyes sort of bulging.
He's starting to fade a little bit. But then
you hear the sound of a crack. Because a little
more damage than that is going to happen to Jaune
now. Oh, no. Shit. He takes ten points of physical
damage. Oh, my God. As he's being suddenly squeezed.
I think something's going quite wrong, sir. As
he's suddenly just, like, straining to breathe.
And now it's his turn. John, brace for Riptide.
Yes, sir. And Jean is going to use Shell Defense.
Oh, shit. Oh, yeah, that's right. So he withdraws
into his shell. I love this. He's being squeezed.
His limbs and his head just go into the shell,
which is now being squeezed on its own. He gains
a plus four to AC and has advantage on strength
and con saves. Okay. All right. No damage reduction,
though? No damage reduction. Okay. Good to know.
Good to know. Okay. Is that his whole turn? That's
his whole turn. Okay. Here's what I'm going to
do. Because I think that's fun because I'm already
doing a boar hug. I'm going to keep going with
my boar hug on this one. Oh, God. So you get
another chance. Strength save against this boar
hug. Jeez. He's going to keep squeezing. Oh,
my God. First roll was a 17. Second roll was
a nat 20. Hell, yeah. Jaune just crit in his
shell. Holy shit. With a 17, I was going to be
half damage. Oh, damn. Because he crit. Wow.
And this is a really cool maneuver. I'm going
to say no damage. Jaune holds out against it.
He braces himself, knowing that you're relying
on him to hold the line, to keep Pigman at bay
so you can get some damage out. He just kind
of focuses, holds himself in the shell, and as
Pigman keeps on pulling at him, Jaune holds strong.
Hell yeah. There's even a little bit of resistance.
Yeah, yeah. Pigman, his arms start to pull backwards
a little bit. He just looks down, surprised.
Yeah. This probably has never happened before.
And that's Blanche. All right. Tell me about
the lights, David. Oh, okay. Okay. I mentioned
before, this whole room has lighting along the
walls, magical lighting. So you see the whole
room is pretty well lit around the sides of the
room. As you get further closer to the middle,
it gets a little darker because the only lighting
here is essentially just like these two huge
spotlights over the top of the actual ring shining
down on it. So when you first went into this
room, it was pretty, pretty, very dim light in
the middle. Right now it's very bright light
because these two spotlights, they're probably
about, I'd say, 30 feet above you, sort of hanging,
are shining down on this space now. Okay. Jeez,
there's two of them, so it'd probably take two
turns anyways. I guess I'm going to leave it
up to the dice. What are you thinking over there?
I think Blanche. Blanche is going to hold her
action, and she's going to say, Ramin, can you
put out the lights? What? He looks up. I see.
Yes. Yes, I could try. And Ramin's next, so Blanche
is going to hold her action to see what Ramin
is going to do. Actually, I should say, he looks
to Dresden, who's kind of the one that controls
him. Do I try? Jeremy, it's up to you, actually.
This is your character. He doesn't have anything
that could... Oh, he doesn't have any... He can't
take out the lights. Guiding Bolt. He doesn't
have any ranged spells. Guiding Bolt is... Not
for that, though. It's... Yeah, it's the only
thing he can use as a ranged move that they can
blast. What does Guiding Bolt do, then? It...
Like, 48 radiant damage. Okay. So he has a...
Can we use that for that? Yeah. What's the range
on it? I don't know. Let me check. Long enough.
120 feet. Okay. Okay. I think this is a really
cool move. So let me do it for this purpose.
I'll do it. I think Ramin's spell slots are incredibly
valuable. Yes. Spending one of these is a big
deal. So here's what I'm going to say. The spotlights,
just above them, Ramin can look up and he notes
that while there are two separate spotlights,
they are connected to a single sort of point
on the ceiling, kind of spreading out from there.
He can strike at that if he so chooses. If you
beat a certain damage threshold and certain AC,
he can destroy the bars holding the spotlights,
dropping them. If this happens, the room will
go darker, but you're also going to have to make
some saves, everyone in the ring, because these
things are going to fall on you. Just so you're
aware of the whole scenario that's just going
on. What do you think? I had a second option
that I was thinking of, but how high are they?
The lights themselves are about 30 feet above.
The thing you want to hit is probably about 45.
Nope, that won't work. They're hanging down a
little ways. I was thinking about sending my
Echo up there next turn, but he's got a range
of 30 feet. He can hit the light if he gets up
there. He grabs the light and smashes it. We'll
try with Ramin first, because anything else that
Ramin has has concentration, and I don't want
to break that just yet, because that's currently
giving you a plus 2 to your AC for Blanche. Right.
So I don't want to break it just yet. Yeah, fuck
it. Hell yeah. This is a pretty metal move. I
like this a lot. Let's go for it. Can I give
Ramin a button? Absolutely, you can. Oh. I mean,
I can use my button because you only have two
left. Well, this move is really for Blanche.
Blanche needs this to work because then with
Shadow Blade, she gets advantage. Sure. Okay.
All right. Now, you're trying to break through
iron. No, actually, yeah, iron. The AC is pretty
high. I have a button, though. What was his modifier
for range? It's a plus five. Plus five. Holy
shit. Plus five with advantage. All right, let's
do it. Let's go. That's a 23. That beats a 19.
Oh, wow. Yeah, nice. We needed that advantage.
Right, because the other roll was 12 plus five.
Yeah, 17. Now I'm going to need you to roll your
actual damage. 4d6, baby. Holy shit. That's pretty
good. That's pretty good. This is a resilient,
but I'd say it's not. Huge. The little sort of
pivot point you're hitting is pretty small, so.
And he's got, all right, never mind. 19. That
beats an 18. Yeah! Are you kidding me? Fuck yeah!
Okay. Ramin, here's what you say. Looks in the
ring, looks to you, Dresden, and kind of like
almost nervously, because he knows it's going
to hit. Dresden, do you give him the nod? Absolutely.
Then Ramin just turns, looks up. Jean's still
being held. Everyone braces and looks up as you
all kind of know what's happening. All but Pigman,
who's being distracted by Jean fighting back.
He's not really focusing. And Ramin blasts a
guiding bolt, this streak of light that shoots
up towards the ceiling, blasts into this small
sort of metal hinge at the top. And you start
to hear this explosion happens. And it's a moment
of silence. And then just like... Screaming of
metal as these lights begin to sort of start
swinging down. And then suddenly, a loud metal
snap as they both come falling down, smashing
down into the arena, breaking these sort of magical
sort of infrastructure in them. Everyone make
a dexterity saving throw, including me. All right.
Oh, no, even Jaune? Yes, actually. Jaune gets
disadvantaged. No. Oh, fuck. In fact, give me
a second on one thing here. Hey, what's Romain
say for Dex? I see charisma and constitution,
but it doesn't say anything about Dex. I believe
it's straight zero. It is? He doesn't need to.
He's outside the ring. Yes. Yeah, that's right.
He's the one person that's totally fine. Dresden
got a 15. Seven for Jean. So that's not going
to do much. It's actually also negative two because
restrained. And the pig man also has a disadvantage
from restrained. So I have to roll again. And
I passed the first time. And because he's restraining
Sean and too focused on that. No way. Sean's
holding out. The pig man is not ready. He looks
up and falls, unable to move. With a two on the
die, he's getting hit. Holy shit. Let me do Blanche
real fast. 22. 22. Okay. We have 15 to 22 for
you guys. So you guys actually, you know this
is coming. You just sort of back up and dive
out of the way. This thing is screaming down.
But Jaune and the pig man in the middle just
kind of holding tight. Both get struck full force.
Oh, no. Fucking hell. That's a lot. That's 12
damage. Oh, my God. Bludgeoning to Jaune and
the pig man. Holy shit. That was half his remaining
HP. And unfortunately, it is bludgeoning, so
it's still only half damage on the pigman, but
it's still damaged. This thing comes crashing
down. I think I need to create, like, something
new in the arena now. Let me create, like, some
weird block of something on the map. That was
absolutely wild. One of you guys gets a button.
Who gets it? That was the coolest fucking shit.
Well, I mean, Jeremy made it happen. Because
I know why you did that. And when it comes to
Blanchard's turn, we're all going to find out
why they did that. No, give it to Steven because
he generously gave up his button. Well, but you
made it happen. It was your move. Steven gave
up his button. Give him the button. I'm not taking
the button. You know what? You guys are so generous.
I'm not taking the button. I'll take the button.
Thank you so much. It's mine now. That's not
how this works. Fight over it. Fight to the death.
I'm not taking that button. All right, Steven,
get the button. All right, I got the button.
It's so good. Thank you both. Oh, that's so cool.
Okay, so let me just real quick mess with the
map. Oh, okay, I see. You're going to put something
in my way. What's that look, David? I do need
the echo to make a save, too. Oh. Yes, to see
if the echo gets destroyed by this. Yeah. Okay.
Oh, I thought you said, yeah, he's going to get
destroyed by this. I was like, wait a minute,
that looked like a good roll. Yeah. So I guess,
like, we now just see these, like, lights are
just kind of... Like, I guess, like, these weird
sort of magical, almost, like, metal slabs that
had this arcane inscription, like, written around
them in a circle that was shooting out light
in the middle are now just kind of on top of
the pig man who's sort of holding up with his
shoulders, kind of bracing. They kind of slammed
down on Jaune at the front and did a really good,
like... you know, crack in his shell, just as,
you know, he's sort of being held there, unable
to move. So they're almost like kind of on top
of the two of them right now. The pig man sort
of shrugs them off. You guys all, I kind of moved
you back just five feet as kind of like, you
know, thematically you dived away from this.
Right. And that was the coolest turn I've seen
in a while. That was Ramin's turn, right? Yeah,
so Blanche is going to take her turn now. Yeah,
go ahead. I can do my legendary after. Oh, okay.
All right, so... This is your reaction, basically,
to have your turn. Right. I'm guessing that we're
now in dim light? The lighting is now dim. As
this thing crashes, as the magical inscription
is broken, the stage goes down to a very dim
light. You can sort of vaguely see what's going
on around you. The light at the edge of the room
is still giving some illumination to all this.
Hector in the stands, you can't even see him
anymore. Which is excellent. Now with Shadowblade
cast, that gives Blanche advantage on attacks.
And I can't quite tell. This is the coolest strategy.
Because of Jaune there. Does Blanche still have
flanking? I guess you do. Because Jaune is technically
being held in the five foot square away. Yeah.
He's there. He's just restrained. It's not on
the map. It's flanking. Yeah. Here we go then.
19. That's going to be a hit. Blanche is first
in the fight. So now with a shadow blade, that's
2d8, and I get an extra d4 for being big. What
did you guys do? He looks over and sees Blanche
charging in now. Just shadowy blade in hand,
flickering in the darkness, sort of growing and
shrinking. That's 12 psychic damage. Four from
the being big. I'm guessing that the extra four
is probably physical damage. I think it's just
weapon damage. If it's a psychic weapon. Because
it's from your weapon being bigger. Sure. It's
still psychic. Holy shit. 16 damage. It's all
going through. It's all going through. Holy shit.
Let me check real fast to make sure I don't have
a bonus action that I want to do here. Knock
on wood, but this is not how I anticipated this
going. This is amazing. Just slide. Not one bit.
Get right into the pig man. Like, get a good
strike on him. And he kind of almost, like, steps
backwards. His head's thrown back. Oh. Oh. I've
never been hit by something like that. Hang in
there, Jean. Trying. And that's the end of Blanche's
turn. Let's see if Jean can hang in there. Oh,
poor Jean. Here's what I want you to do, Jean.
I want you to... I want to make a... We're going
to do a grapple check again. God, I'm going to...
Sorry. So... You know what? I'm going to roll
a dice and see which one I'm going to do here.
Because I have two more moves I want to try.
One of them would be very bad if I end up getting
it for you. The other one's kind of neutral.
Okay. The neutral one. We're doing Body Slam.
Oh, jeez. Wait, say that again? Bodyslam. He
just raised up the shell, and he's just going
to come down and smash it hard. So what's going
to happen here is we're actually going to do
another grapple check, athletics versus athletics,
to see if Jean can sort of wrestle into a position
where I'm not going to hit him with full force.
Okay. You ready for this? No, I've got to pull
up Jean's stuff. Strength contest. Not a save,
right? Just a contest. Just a contest. Okay,
so I don't get advantage on this. Just a plus
two. But I do. 14. That is a 21 for me. Yeah,
I wasn't really expecting to beat the pig man
in a strength contest, but... Now that he's raging,
it's going to be very, very hard to do. So let's
see how much KO points. Jaune takes five KO points.
Oh, no. He's down to one KO point left. And he
takes seven points of damage. Oh, my goodness.
Holy shit. Hold on, I need to read this real
fast. Oh, he's reading that. Dresden took, did
he take six last time? KO points? In the first
round, you took four. Okay, it was only four.
The only time you took four, yeah. And how many
did we start with? You start with 13. 13, got
it. That's your con. Okay, cool, cool, cool.
Jaune has by far the most, so he's actually the
one that's tanking this better than anybody else.
And let's just roll suddenly. He's just like
this shell getting horribly violently beaten.
Oh, that's my turn, though, isn't it? Hold on
one sec. Damn it. It's an action. I'm thinking
about Blanche's familiar. I should have pulled
it out of the pocket dimension at the beginning
of the fight, and then it would have gotten its
own initiative. But it's a full action to bring
it back out, so I can't do it. Never mind. There's
no place for a bat in this arena. Here's what
I'm going to do. It can take many shapes. I kind
of like mechanically put you guys far away, but
realistically, you know, that didn't, that was
not how the game goes. And I want to give you
all a chance to be here because it's more fair
for you if I don't just move your characters,
you know, because I decided to. So you're all
still on the pig man. You just avoided the actual
like rubble, which has sort of been rolling off
of him. I'm going to roll a D4. Jaune is not
one of the options for this. It's going to be
the Echo as one, Dresden as two, Blanche as three
for reroll. One is the echo. He doesn't know.
Best case scenario. He's not smart, so I have
to do the echo at least once until he destroys
it, which means that my nasty ability called
Clotheswine is getting wasted. Oh, what a waste
of a 28 to hit. Holy fucking hell. What a waste
of a 28 -day hit. Holy shit. Well, my echo's
gone. Yeah, he just, like, turns. He's got Jean.
He took Jean under an armpit and just spins around
and just violently thrusts out his arm, taking
the echo right in the neck. The echo would have,
like, been, like, dropped, potentially stunned
and prone, but instead it just kind of... vanishes
as this thing, as he strikes true and hard. A
terrible fade almost hit one of you. Because
even Blanche might have trouble with that 29
to hit. Whoa, yeah. Sorry, 28? 28 to hit. Anyway,
yeah, nasty stuff. But that's because it was
him I hit. I can't do anything else. That's the
only way you can hit Blanche. And that's the
pig man's turn. Okay. Dresden, you're up. All
right. Dresden is going to manifest his echo
again in the same spot. What are you? And then
he's going to go in for an attack. Dresden is
going to go in for an attack because I want to
keep him on his toes. Okay. I want to keep him
on his toes, keep him looking back and forth.
Keep him confused. Yeah, he's clearly like, I
wish the flanking is coming in. He doesn't know
what to think anymore. Yep. All right. I love
it. 17. Hits. Yeah, I think he has a low AC,
just a high HP. Right, right. Max damage. That's
13. Holy shit. Oh, gross. Okay, okay. He's getting
hurt. He's getting hurt. Oh, yeah. Oh, feel the
burn. And with that, sorry, Jean Franklin. I
think it's time to end this. I'm going in for
my last ability unused. Like, suey? Like, pig
call? No one laughed, so I died. Wait, didn't
Pigman just go? Legendary actions. I get them
at the end of every turn. Or three times in a
round I get them at the end of turns. So, I need
a dexterity saving throw from Jaune. Oh, no,
dex! It's the last one I haven't used. Come on!
I gotta go for it! Jaune's gone. Two sevens in
a row. Okay. Okay. Okay. God, this is going to
hurt his ego so much. It's going to hurt whoever
did it. Six KO damage. Okay, so he's under. He's
five under. Nine points of damage. Okay, he's
four under. So he is unconscious and dying and
knocked out from KO points. Yeah. You can heal
one HP to get him back to stable kind of thing,
but he will still be KO'd out because he's down
on both. Great. Jaune is out of this fight almost
certainly. Is Hector going to get up and move
at all? Hector... Hector's not going to risk
his life by walking in the ring with a very excited
pig man. You might want to move Jean out of the
ring. But that is the pig man's turn. Jean is
now smashed. He just kind of, like, like, you
know, he just grabs a shell and, like, actually,
because he flips him over his head for this,
Jean gets smashed down right in front of you,
Blanche, as he kind of, over the head, just brings
him hurling down. Jean just, like, screams out,
gasps, and then just kind of, like, his body
sort of comes out of his shell. His limbs go...
You're dropping on the ground, unmoving. His
eyes are staring up at you, and for a moment,
there's life in them, and just kind of this wish,
this drive. And his eyes close. Poor Jean. And
that would have been Jean's turn. So I need to
roll. I need you to roll a death. Oh, shit. Jesus
Christ. Pigman does not go non -lethal when he's
excited. Things are scary now. 19. Okay, Jean
passes his first death save. That would have
been cool if he stood right back up. Oh my god,
right? Right? It's so cool. Jaune's not that
cool. All right, Jaune is down. I'm going to
put him over here by you, Blanche. Okay. That's
going to be Rami. All right. He has two spells.
No, sorry. That's going to be Blanche. I messed
up. No, no, no. No, Blanche changed her place
in the turn order, remember? Oh, I thought you
just held your action. Yeah, doesn't that change
your place? No. Holding action just means you
use your reaction to basically use an action.
And you didn't move. You just used an action
that round. Gotcha. So, yeah, you can still,
unless you want to be further down. What's it
going to, is it going to take an action for me
to move Jaune out of the ring? Hmm. I'll give
you an action to move him for free. I'll give
you a strength check to move him as an object
interaction, kind of like slide him away. Or
a bonus action to slide him out of the ring.
Okay, so if I make a strength check, it's a bonus
interaction? Is that what you said? Yeah, if
you use a strength check, it's a bonus action,
but you can potentially fail it. Or you can do
a full action to pick him up and carry him. I'll
call it that. I'll do strength because I have
advantage while I'm big. Oh, that's right. Yeah,
you're huge. You're perfectly set to save him
here. Hector, save this boy unless you want the
crystal network all over this place. First roll
was a three. This next one really can't be bad.
Oh, shit. Thirteen. Thirteen will do it. Okay.
You grab Jean and slide him. We'll just say his
body, his shell slides across the ring. He drops
just barely. About 15 feet over, clunking up
on the other side. And I will just say Hector
comes running over. At the end of this round,
he will start. He has a medical kit. We already
talked about that. He was ready to go to heal
Pigman. Or anybody. So he just drops down and
starts. All right. Then Blanche is going to go
for her attack with her Shadow Blade. Okay. Oh,
it's still advantage because it's so dark and
nasty. That was 18 on the die already. Oh, man.
Don't crit. Don't you crit. No, it wasn't a crit.
Okay. Just nine points. Nine points. Okay. Another
good. Still another solid. Goes right through
any natural armor he has. Good stuff. And now
we're back on to Ramin. All right. Can I see
the map for a second? Okay, good. So Sean is
out of the ring. Okay. I'm in a conundrum here.
I need your thoughts. With Ramin, do I break
concentration that is giving Blanche a plus two
to AC in order to cast Bless, which will give
everybody a D4 to add to an attack roll or a
save throw? How many slots do I have left? How
many slots do you have? He has four, right? Total?
I think I have two left. He has four. You have
one left. I have one left. You use two guiding
bolts and a shield of faith. This is your last
slot. Okay, so do we do this or do I get damage
on the pig man? Which? With a cantrip, I'm guessing?
With guiding bolt. Oh, so you only have one spell
slot left and it's either for bless or for guiding
bolt. Bless seems pretty huge because pretty
much everything pig man is doing is involving
a save. Everything is a save. Yeah, that's true.
Yep. Cool. So I'm going to be blessed. Okay.
We're going to bless everybody. So everybody
gets a D4 for attacks and saves. That's amazing.
That's super good. I mean, like, I have a huge
modifier committed to you guys. This is going
to help, you know, sort of get you on level with
the pigmen. And it lasts for a minute as well,
which is how many rounds? Ten. Yeah, it'll last
for the fight, 100%. Oh, no. Blanche's base AC
is only 21 now. Fuck. You see what I can do.
Hell yeah. So the shield disperses as Ramin holds
his hands up just like, no one else. No one else
is getting hurt. And just a light sort of strikes
all of you. You can be in the sort of glow soft.
You can feel some comfort and warmth inside you,
some presence. You're ready to go. All right.
I forgot to use one of my legendary actions the
previous round. I'm going to double them up because
Pigman wouldn't forget. David did. I think that's
fair. I would give you guys the same, right?
Sure. And they're combined actions. Pigman's
going to... Do we get the bless? You wouldn't
for the first one. You for the second one. Oh,
okay. So we're going to give you something. I
think that is a good compromise. If we allow
you two legendary actions. It's one of the reactions
I should have taken before. I just didn't because
I wanted to move things. I was going to interrupt
you and I decided not to so I could do this.
It's still doubling up legendary actions. For
the sake of radio, it's not doubling anything.
I'm making two. Okay, one of you guys is going
to get a graphic. No, see, each one is going
to be... Evens or odds, you guys choose. The
pig man knows the echo is an echo now. He's not
going to strike it. I have the pick of minor
destiny. Just pick evens or odds. Heads is even,
tails is odd. We could have just used the pick
for the original thing. Now it's confusing. Evens.
So you're evens. Evens. Jeremy's evens. I'm evens.
Dresden is evens. I'm evens. Okay, I'm going
to grapple Dresden on a two and a four, Blanche
on a one and a three, okay? Okay. All right.
It's a three. He spins around to you, Blanche.
All right. Arm, we're going to do athletics check
versus probably your acrobatics, I'm guessing.
Or it can be, actually, no, athletics, because
you have advantage on both, right, because you're
in Bladesinger. Hold on. Okay. Hold on. Read,
read. We have, what are my options? When I attack
you with this, it's basically I'm going to use
my athletics to challenge either your athletics
or acrobatics. He's going to try to grapple you.
You're either going to fight him off with strength
or weave away with your lifeness. Right. Let
me just check real fast because I think athletics
is going to be better for me in this. Okay. Advantage
on acrobatic checks. Oh, fuck yeah. I will take
the advantage on acrobatics. Yeah. And that's
a plus four as well. Holy shit. Yeah. Advantage
plus four. That's great. I was about to give
two buttons for disadvantage, but I don't know
anymore. You also have Bless for this, and you're
going to need it. 17. Okay. Let me clue in what
I've got going on. Oh, great. Just so you know,
this is why you need Bless. The pig man has...
Plus nine to his athletics Rage he has advantage
on these checks. Oh shit. Okay, so I need a roll.
So I lose Yeah, you do okay first one wasn't
was actually would have been fine the advantage
gave it to me with it on the die You try to move
out of the way. I think he just surprises you
just hand comes around grabs you in the shoulder
very hard and again like Like you saw before
he grabs John it was just kind of an easy sort
of like, you know playful his hands dig into
you and You can feel it in your bones. He's changed.
There's like a shaking in his grip. In his eyes,
the soft brow to them has kind of like gone almost
like feral and wide as he just continues. Oh,
yeah. Now I'm going to use my second legendary
action. I gave you bless there anyway. But anyway,
second legendary action. You do have bless here
for sure. And this is going to be to pin you.
Two buttons for disadvantage. Whoa. Whoa. That's
going to equal out because I have advantage,
so it means only one roll. That's a huge. That's
big. All right. If I get this, though, it's bad.
Blanche can't be pinned. Blanche cannot be pinned.
As the pig man is hoisting her up off the ground,
Blanche looks back to Dresden and says, get me
out of here, soldier boy. That disadvantage,
I want you to tell me narratively how do you
do it. Oh, God. Because it's cool. Dresden, you're
there. You can make a move, basically. It's not
going to do damage, but what are you doing to
distract the pig man? I think he's commanding
his echo to swoop between them. Oh, that's cool.
So you're trying to get in the way and interfere.
All right, let's roll it. The echo's doing the
Roxbury hands over his face move. What is last?
Oh my goodness. So I'm going to roll straight.
You're going to roll with advantage and bless.
I have a plus nine. Here's what happens. Let's
find out. Hold on. Is this athletics again? I'm
rolling with advantage? Athletics or acrobatics.
Oh, sorry. Acrobatics. Okay. Same exact roll.
It's another grapple check to pin you. Okay.
Same roll. Gotcha. 16. That was pretty sad sounding.
16 will not quite make it. God damn it. It's
a good effort. You're trying. The echo's going,
but I think Pigman just almost bats the echo
to the side. Out of the way, Phantom. Just grabs
you with the other hand and lifts you up off
the ground. You are now, he is restrained, and
you are restrained. Okay. This means that your
Shadow Blade is not going to have advantage anymore.
It'll be straight, because your attacks will
be at disadvantage while you are restrained.
Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. It's worth noting. Yeah,
definitely. Okay. That means it's the Pigman's
turn. All right. I'm going to try a closed swine
on you, Dresden. Whoa. I'm going to try it again.
Closed swine. He just kind of spins around and
tries to take you. Same as the echo. He does
almost the exact same move, but this time he
goes right for you. I have disadvantage on this.
I'm bad at math. I'm pretty sure it's not going
to hit. That is a 15. Nope. That does not hit.
Okay. Oh, hell yeah. Nice. So he goes and tries
to hit, and you just kind of like duck out of
the way. Anything just kind of... Period. And
he just sort of... You do not get... A bad time
does not happen to you. You're fine. Fucking
A. And with that, it's your move, Dresden. Hell
yeah, it is. I'm going to go in for a strike.
So is he on... He's on the ground with... No,
they're both standing. They're both standing.
He just got her. Okay, so it's just flanking.
You do have advantage, though. That's what I
was asking. Oh, right. Yeah. Restraint is advantage.
So actually, you should be able to advantage
plus two on your move, Steven, with your Shadow
Blade. Yeah, I have been. Okay, good. Great.
Okay, sweet. So I have an advantage and plus
two? Yes. Let me double check. Yeah, no flanking.
Oh, no, your Echo's still there. Yes. Plus four.
Plus four. Because your Echo's still there, so
it's also flanking and the advantage. Oh, sorry.
You don't have Shadow Blade. No. Yeah. Advantage
plus two. There's too much. So many more. I get
it now. I get it now. There's so many things.
So this time, he's going to go in with his Echo.
Okay. Got it. Yeah, I mean, I love this. He focuses
on Echo, and you strike as Dresden. He focuses
on Dresden. The Echo strikes from behind. It's
like he can't keep up. That's a 17. That's going
to hit. 10 damage. Okay. I'm trying to think
if I want to re -roll that, though, because I
can't. I think it's middle of the road enough
where I shouldn't. Yeah, 5 is better than average.
Yeah. Okay, that's it. Okay. That's it. Hell
yeah. Boy, howdy with that. Okay, yeah. With
that, I'm going to do one of my abilities. Let's
see here. We'll do some Blanche. Let's try. I
haven't done Pig Pile Driver in a while. I want
a con save. Con save. All right. I think I have
a thing for that. And don't forget your blast
on that. That's right. Oh, that's so good. So
does the pig man have any negatives to because
Blanche is a large -sized creature right now?
I think you can grapple and pin a creature your
same size. Okay. If you were one size larger,
I think that'd be a problem. Okay. Just want
to double check. So right now, actually, you're
not even left with the ground. You're just kind
of like, he's just kind of holding you. It's
like the middle of the ring is two kaijus wrestling.
This president's tiny. Since I'm in Bladesong,
I got a plus four to con saves. Okay. So I get
a plus four plus my d4 for bless. 21. 21. will
pass. So I'm going to do half damage on this.
So he spins you around and tries to bring you
down on your head, essentially. I like to think
almost like you distract your head into your
shell as it goes, and try to hold out against
it as he strikes down. Brace for Riptide. Yes!
Oh, it's so cool. Okay, so I'm just going to
do... Ooh, that's good, because it would have
maxed KO damage. So we're going to have that,
so it's only going to be four points of KO damage
instead of eight. And on top of that... Only
five points of damage. Nice. Because it's halved,
so it would have been 11. Not bad, not bad. Not
bad at all. Okay, and that is going to be, I'm
not counting Jaune's turn because that'd be kind
of mean. He's out. He's out. I mean, yeah. He's
going to get healed. I could count his turn,
but I won't count his turn. If somebody else
goes out, then I'm counting their turn because
I want all three of their actions. It doesn't
really matter because even if Jaune rolls a nat
one, he's still going to get healed up by Hector.
Yeah, true enough. You know what? I am counting
his turn. What am I doing? Okay. I want to take
my legendaries when I can. Oh. I keep forgetting.
So, yeah, he doesn't need to roll. Hector stabilized
him, we'll say, but it is still his turn, and
so I am taking my legendary. Yeah, you only get
one double up, so don't forget it. Let's be for
this, then. We're doing a body slam. Let's do
grapple checks again. Okay. 16. That is less
than 28. Yeah, man. Oh, my God. I was about to
say I keep rolling low on those, but it doesn't
matter. Did you say 28? I rolled extremely high.
Yeah. Okay. I think I would have to crit. Yeah,
literally, I would have to get a natural 20,
then my plus four on acrobatics, then I would
have to roll a four on the D4 for bless. Three
KO points. Cool. Very bad. Ooh, but the damage
is pretty good. Taking 12 points of damage. Oh
my goodness. Holy shit. So he just starts slamming
you. He just tries going down your head. You
pass it. He just lifts you up again, spins you
around your back, and just things you wham down
once more harder. Blanche has 11 HP and 7 KO
points left. She's got probably one round, probably
not two rounds left. Blanche. Well, that's the
thing. It's not even rounds. We've got to be
close. Because of the legendary actions, there's
three a fucking round. Yeah. She's not going
to survive the round. You're taking your turn
now. At the end of this turn you take, I'm taking
the legendary action, and Blanche may be out.
Okay. How does Blanche break out of the grapple?
You can attempt it by, again, the same check.
But it's going to take an action to do that.
Right. Or you can try striking. You have Shadow
Blade. You're going to have a basic, a normal
roll because of the advantage of the darkness.
Actually, he's restrained, so you're both. Yeah,
actually, you still advantage because you're
both restrained. So you have advantage on him,
so yeah. Right, so instead of triple advantage,
it's just double advantage. Yeah, something like
that. It's really weird. Restraint makes things
weird because we're both restrained, so we both
have advantage on each other and disadvantage
on attacks. Right. So it's kind of base. I really
feel like getting out is important. I don't know
if it's more important, but it sounds like fun.
So I do my acrobatics. You're going to try to
fight out of this? Yeah, I'm going to give you
a button, too. Oh, that's bold. Okay, so you're
going to have... Wow, okay. So I've got my acrobatics
is plus four, plus I have bless and advantage.
Normally, this is written. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bless wouldn't apply to this. Okay, that's fine.
You gave me a button, I'm going to allow it to.
No, I don't want that. You sure? Okay. That's
not fair. All right, all right. All right. So
you have advantage and a plus two, correct? Plus
four for acrobatics. And a plus two for double
advantage. Okay. I think that's the case. The
advantage in your current form, I don't think
being restrained affects that. Okay. So there's
an advantage and a plus six. Here we go. What'd
you get? 24. I rolled a five and a six. Oh, yeah,
buddy. Even my plus nine is not going to save
me there. Fucking A. All right. That's awesome.
This might be one of the first times someone's
actually escaped a pin from the pig man. Describe
your escape. She pulls back into her shell, shell
defense, brace for riptide, and her arms and
legs go back in, and she falls out to the ground
and rolls away. That is awesome. He's just staring
down. Where'd you? Hey! Holy shit, and you roll
away. Okay, I'm going to legendary action, try
to grapple you now, Dresden. He spins around,
sees you. You look a little less difficult to
grab. What am I rolling? Athletics, probably.
If your acrobatics is higher, roll that. No,
it's not. Athletics is higher. Okay. Oh, no.
Okay. Oh, no, that's an 11. You are grappled.
God damn it. That's what I mean. Ramin is going
to cast Sacred Flame onto the pig man. Oh, shit.
So he has to save. He has to make a dex save.
Okay, okay. 15. Spell save DC is not on the sheet.
I actually can find it. Hang on, let me. Okay.
The DC is 15. What is your roll? 15. God fucking
damn it. I hit it exactly. God damn it. So the
pig man just barely weaves away as this holy
fire burns beneath him. You said the DC. I have
to hit it. So, if I hit the DC, I pass. Same
as, like, hitting AC. This isn't the same as
tie goes to the attacker? In this case, no. Because
he's casting it and attacking? Basically, whenever
you do abilities in D &D, it's like someone sets
a DC and someone hits the DC. In a basic attack,
the DC is your AC. Okay. So, in this case, I'm
the one rolling, so I have to hit the number.
Great. Yeah. Get a little nestling to everybody
out there. Great. Yeah. So, the pig man does
resist. All right, then. I have no legendaries,
but it is my turn. Yeah, let's get nasty. Dresden,
I have you grappled. I'm going to hit you with
a pork chop, and I have advantage on the characters
I am grappling. That's going to be a 22. Yeah,
that hits. That is 14 points of damage. Jesus
Christ. And four KO points. Fuck. So he just
kind of strikes you hard. He had 13 to start,
right? 13 KO points? Yes. All right. He's down
to five. Holy shit. I was reading something.
I didn't quite hear how many. Oh, my goodness.
And how many points of physical damage did you
say? 13? Yes. Okay. Does Ramin have any healing
ability on him now? Yes. Okay. I haven't been
using it yet because other ones have been more
important. Right. Yeah. To put it more specifically,
he has cure wounds, which would also mean one
of us would have to make it to the side of the
ring. Yeah, so that's not going to really...
Okay. Nope. It gets even worse. Because I struck
you with a pork chop and it landed, I can now
bonus action attempt to pin you now that you're
grappled. It kind of works. It's a feature of
luchador training. It's like I took some feats
and combined them together. So... I'm not worried.
Let's make a roll. I'm not worried. Double athletics.
I'm also rolling hot. By the way, I don't know
what said this. I actually switched over to the
gold vein dice today. Yeah, I saw it at the beginning
of the session. Yeah, I tried to spoil it for
everybody. Yeah, I switched over to the gold
vein dice because I wanted to give them a chance.
And honestly, they're rolling so hot for me.
They love me again. What'd you get? 24. 22. Oh,
my God. 22. I needed this. I needed this. Because
Bless doesn't apply on this, right? Because it's
not a save. No, it does not apply on it. Yes,
it's a contest. It's the one thing that doesn't
fly on. It's rough. 22. 22? But now you're going
to need that blast because now I'm going to start
making attacks on you. But first you have to
go. You are restrained now, though. But you have
advantage. It's normal on him because he's also
restrained as he's pinned you. Okay. You said
it's my turn? Yeah. Perfect. Because I still
have my echo. That's right. The echo's not restrained.
I can make the same attack. Oh, my God. I can
make the same fucking attack. And you have advantage
on him. Oh, my God. Yes, I do. That's why I said
I was not worried. I can do the same exact thing
that I was going to do. That's wild. Okay. Okay.
Okay. And flanking. I don't know if it'll get
you there, but... It will. That brings it up
to 17. Hey! That will do it. That'll hit. That'll
hit. Oh, my gosh. Thank you for reminding me
of that. I totally forgot about that. It would
have been a 15. I would have called it 15. Oh,
close call. Okay. That is max damage again. 13
points of damage. Booyah. 13 points. Okay. Yeah,
another... Solid hit. You just slide this. The
echo comes up behind. He's just like, I love
this. He's so confounded by the two of you. The
one of you. As you strike in, hit him again.
I can't figure you guys out. Hell yeah. And that
is going to be, first, a legendary action on
you. Oh, no. Come on. There's so many legendary
actions. Let's make this fast. Stewieplex. Deck
save. I don't know why I rolled. Deck save. Deck
save. I crit my pants again. You crit it? I crit
my pants again. You take no damage. Oh. Oh. I'm
going to tell you right now, if I had damaged
you, if you had failed that fully, there would
have been eight KO points. I rolled max. Yeah,
I would have been out. And the damage was also
close to max. I would have been out. What was
the damage? The damage was... It doesn't matter.
It's my turn. Sorry. No, I wouldn't have gotten
unconscious and dying. Okay. Okay, cool, cool,
cool. So you passed that one. Although... No
Dijon next. I should take my legendary now. My
second one. Oh my Christ. We're doing it again.
This time, give me a strength. I'm going to boar
hug you. Treads to the reflexing. You sort of
weave your way out of it, but you're still kind
of in my grip. It's untouchable. Oh wait, I don't
know why I'm rolling. What do you got? 24. 24
will pass. I'm only doing half damage on this.
He's going to hold you tight. That was again
max on the ko points. Oh no four wait what four
eight becomes four four That's fine. That's fine.
I pass. I'm down to one. Well, right. I know
holy shit I'm still in for a round. I'm still
in and then I don't think there's much left.
That's eight points of damage over that Okay,
so yeah, you're here. He's hugging you. He's
holding you tight. I'm taking you and you're
just holding against it. You hear cracking of
bones. Your vision's starting to fade. You have
one KO point left. You will try. Oh, yeah! Blanche,
you're up. All right. Does Blanche need to move
to get flanking? Yeah, you can move down. Okay.
You moved down slightly. You're fine. Yeah, Blanche
is going to move the five or ten feet to get
flanking, and she's going to say, I should have
done this a long time ago, but... It's time to
take off the kid gloves, pig man. And she lowers
her shadow blade and holds her hand up. And with
a button, she's going to cast Witch Bolt. Actually,
I'm not going to use the button because she already
has flanking. And advantage. And advantage because
he's restrained. Oh, my God. Okay, okay. Kid
gloves. What are you talking about? What are
you going to do with that? Jeez. This is like,
she's got a plus six to cast Witch Bolt, then
advantage, then plus two. So we're rolling advantage
with plus eight. Holy fuck. So 12 plus eight
is 20, then I still have bless. You are good.
All right, 23. This will help, yeah. Blanche
cast Witch Bolt at second level, which means
it's 2d12. 2d12, holy shit. Oh, shit. Okay, let's
see it. For being large. Oh, that would only
do attack. Oh, okay. Then it's only 12 damage,
actually. Astounding. I'm not fucking shitting
you right now. I'll show you afterwards. That
is the exact half HP. Oh, my God. Yeah. That
is the exact half HP. Oh, my God. You reach out
with this. You're like buzzing electricity. I
didn't think it was going to do it. He's squeezing
on Dresden. Oh, yeah. What are you talking about?
You reach out and touch him. Describe it. Describe
Witch Bolt. I mean, that's exactly what it was.
She looks at her sword and she goes, this isn't
working. She puts it down by her side, raises
her hand up, and just from the palm of her hand
comes this blue crackling light. This lightning
damage just shoots out from the palm of her hand.
Her whole hand turns blue and crackling. And
zaps him. And he's just kind of... And he's just
shaking with it. And the spell ends, and he kind
of just, like, he's still got you held. You're,
like, you're getting shocked, too. I'm not going
to do damage on it, but you're getting shocked,
too, with his hand stressed. And he's just kind
of... And as the spell ends, his grip loosens
on you. You kind of slide out, and he just kind
of goes... Oh, yeah! And he just falls backwards
onto his back. Boom! Right onto the echo. Yeah,
right onto the echo. The echo just disappears.
He just says, you guys rule! All right. Call
it. Call it. The towel is thrown. Ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, ding, ding,
ding. Hector, like, rings the bell. And he's
cheering, cheering. Hector's, yeah, yeah. The
pig med just like, like. All right. All right.
That's it. That was good. That was thrilling.
That was right thrilling. Hey, that little guy
okay? Points over to Jaune. Blanche is already
over there checking on Jaune. Maybe he's like
starting to come back. Maybe Hector gave him
a little something to give him one HP. He's starting
to... And he sees 10 -foot -tall Blanche punched
over him. In the dark? Yeah. Sir, did we do it?
Did we win? What happened? I kind of passed out.
A little. Thanks to you, Jean. We were able to
get in enough damage and... Well, the pig man
called it in our favor. You're kidding. You're...
Really? You're the hero of the night, boy. I...
Oh, my goodness. I... I'm going to lie here for
a while, if that's okay. That's fine. He just
flops down. Meanwhile, at the end of the ring,
the pig man's reaching out to you, Dresden. Good
game. Good game. Hey, come on. Give me a handshake.
I don't know what that shadow thing was. That
was cool. That was really cool. Oh, man. Dresden
gives the forearm handshake. Oh, that's a cool
way to do that. And then as they leave, he does
a little finger snap. His hands are so big. Right.
It's like Dresden's hand is on his middle finger.
Well, I mean, that's it, right? That's got to
be it. You guys are in. Party's tomorrow. I got
invitations for all of you. I cannot wait. I
cannot wait to show Moffat my new sidekick. And
we'll call it there.