WEBVTT

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Roll for initiative. All right, Pants People,

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you're up. So here's your options. You can either

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dodge action like a chump, like a coward, and

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not engage with our social media, our Discord,

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all that stuff at all. Or you can commit full

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assault. Get in there. Get on our Instagram,

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our Facebook, our Discord. What else we got?

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Instagram? I said that one already. We got TikTok.

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I don't know. Go do that stuff. It's cool. We're

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doing things all the time. We're working on a

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YouTube eventually. We'll get there. But yeah,

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check us out, Pants People. And thank you so

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much for listening. See you guys the best. Uh,

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your turn's over. Pigman has been the number

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one luchador on Sansa Tian for the last ten years.

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These days, he is more known for his work as

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a luminary, choking out dragons, arm -wrestling

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frost giants to settle issues of territory, holding

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up the ceilings of crumbling buildings when family

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is time to escape. Now, we've all heard these

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kinds of tales in association with the mighty

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Pigman. But, to the folks of Sansa Tian, the

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Pigman's greatest performances have always been

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his bouts in the Lucha Libre ring. When he first

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debuted, in Marfield Stadium, a stranger to the

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world. He wasted no time in dazzling the crowds

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with his brutal, porcelain -themed wrestling

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moves. Nobody forgets seeing a closed swine for

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the first time, and I dare y 'all to look away

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when the big man goes in for a suiplex. This

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goes double for his opponents, poor old fellas.

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If he starts climbing the ring supports, well,

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let's just say you want to be far from that ring

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when pigs fly. All right. I'm leaving all of

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that in. That was so much fucking fun. Okay,

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I'm not so much. All right, you know what? Before

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we get into anything, before we get into all

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the banter and the talk, before I forget. I was

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very excited for this character, for this combat

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way back when I thought we were going to do it

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during the light of day with a big crowd. I had

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a whole special mechanics planned out for hog

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fight. We built it up since you guys were exploring

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fucking a rural town. It's been a while, but

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this has been in the works. And then stupid Steven

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here had to go and let his character die. Yeah.

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Skip the whole thing. My fault. I was so sad

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to not be able to do this. But I was like, you

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know what? That's the game. You don't get to

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do things. That's fine. You drop your plans.

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You move on because it's all about moving the

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world forward. You guys are the star of the show.

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And these beautiful, wonderful stars of the show

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decide to turn around and go back to the pig

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man. And you, Blanche, challenged him. You basically

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said, like, hey, let's spar to see if I'm worth

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being a sidekick. It was your plan. You brought

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it back, baby. And for that, I want you both

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to take a button. Hell yeah. Take a button. Oh,

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yeah. Something tells me we're going to need

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it. I am so ecstatic. I've been working on special

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mechanics for this little combat. We'll get to

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that in a minute. We'll get to that in a minute

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because it's Halloween when this comes out. It's

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a day before Halloween when this comes out. I'm

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like 99 % sure we have our dates right on this.

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We're always so good at this, so it's fine. We're

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fantastic. 100 % success rate. Happy Halloween,

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everybody! Happy Halloween. Boo. And as a little

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treat for this trick -or -treat, I want to tell

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a little scary story. Ooh, excellent. But it's

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not an original scary story. It is a scary story

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of a movie I've recently watched. One of my favorite

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movies, all -time, Halloween movies, basically,

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when I was a child. Actually, no. That's my favorite

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Halloween childhood movie. This is my second

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favorite Halloween childhood movie. I have not

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seen it in years. I watched it recently, and

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I forgot how completely wild this shit is. So,

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set a timer, Steven, because we are doing our

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patented Fantasy Pants, David Goes on a Ranch,

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but a movie or show nobody cares about anymore

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bit. All right, got it? Don't you get 60 seconds

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for that? Give me a minute 30, because it'll

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be worth it. All right. All right. I'm going

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to speed run this. Don't start it yet. I will

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start it when you start it. I'll do it. I'll

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wave my hands around like an idiot, and you'll

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know. I always do that, so I'll raise them higher.

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Anyway, we're getting into this. Take heed, DMs,

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because this should be the plot for a solid horror

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one -shot. And for everybody else out there,

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spoiler alert for a little film called Scooby

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-Doo. on zombie island oh my god it's a scooby

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movie remember that it's a good movie keep that

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in your mind and go so the scooby gang has broken

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up fred and daphne now host a show and shaggy

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and scooby somehow work in airport customs it's

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fucking weird they all get back together in order

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to seek out a real true ghost for the show not

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like amanda mask so they all head to new orleans

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because of course that's where you find ghosts

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i don't that's That's it. So they have a number

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of failures, and they are approached by this

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young lady who works as an assistant to an owner

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of a pepper plantation. She overhears their plight,

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wanting to find ghosts, and she tells them about

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Moonscar Island, where the plantation is set.

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The island is named for a pirate named Morgan

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Moonscar who died some centuries back and who

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still haunts the place to this day. See, just

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classic normal Scooby -Doo, right? Okay, so then

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we go to Moonscar Island, way out in the bios,

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middle of nowhere. And this classic Scooby -Doo

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continues, ghostly writing on the wall saying,

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beware and get out and the like. Ghostly apparitions

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and pirate zombies appear and start chasing people

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around. Boom, all normal. Then shit gets weird.

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See, during a completely off -the -wall, rock

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-sog segment, they start seeing different kinds

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of zombies, like Civil War soldiers, old settlers,

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modern -day tourists sporting Hawaiian shirts

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and broken cameras, and they realize, after Fred

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tears a zombie's head off with his bare hands,

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that the zombies are actually real. Real, actual

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zombies. Real ghosts, for the first time ever.

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Crazy, right? No, not yet. Pay attention. Because

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this shit goes off the fucking rails. It turns

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out the plantation owner and her assistant are

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actually 200 years old. They were members of

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a small settlement of voodoo ritualists that

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worshipped a non -specific cat god. The pirates

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showed up there, and no joke here, they corralled

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the entire population of the settlement into

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the bayou, whatever, where they are torn apart

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by crocodiles. We don't see the gore, but we

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do see the buildup and... Damn, was it dark.

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And we hear the screams, all that stuff. Afterwards,

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the only two survivors committed dark rituals

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for their cat god, their non -specific cat god,

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and are blessed by new demonic cat folk bodies

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that can only stay alive by sacrificing humans

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every year during the harvest moon. They murdered

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all the pirates. They murdered the settlers that

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made the plantation. They murdered all the tourists.

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Every year they bring people in and they murder

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them to continue their bodies. They brought the

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Scooby gang in to murder them. And they almost

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do, except at the very end, the Scooby -Doo wins,

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they fail, they turn into dusty, horrible corpses

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and fall apart in this truly shocking visual

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I still remember as a child. And the zombies,

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who are just a ton of trapped, innocent, murdered

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people for the most part, are just the whole

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time trying to warn the characters to leave.

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And finally, they can die and pass on into the

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afterlife. And that is the plot of Scooby -Doo

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and Zombie Island. A Scooby -Doo movie. How'd

00:07:31.720 --> 00:07:34.819
I do? Was I in time? No. Fuck. It was like two

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minutes and 30 seconds. Damn it. It was worth

00:07:36.579 --> 00:07:38.699
it. That's all right. I recorded it all. Well,

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I'm glad. Now I don't need to watch it. You don't

00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:44.410
need to watch it. But like. that is a scooby

00:07:44.410 --> 00:07:46.470
-doo children's movie people are murdered by

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alligators cat demons uh and trap the gang with

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voodoo rituals and like it's it's fucking wild

00:07:52.230 --> 00:07:54.610
to be honest when you started that story and

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you said that he ripped his head off i thought

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you were gonna say and it turns out it was a

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real person right yeah exactly you think no it's

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a murderer honestly though i think the thing

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that shocked me the most in the movie and this

00:08:05.610 --> 00:08:07.649
was a The best part. Yes, I'm taking the rant

00:08:07.649 --> 00:08:09.209
just a little bit. At the very beginning, it

00:08:09.209 --> 00:08:10.810
starts off with one of the usual, oh, it's a

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guy in a mask seeds. But this guy in a mask,

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just like you see this POV of him as he rips

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open a solid wooden door with his bare hands.

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It's a monster. And later on, it's like, hey,

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it's just a guy in a mask. And he was wearing

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scary gloves. And like, how did he do that? How

00:08:26.649 --> 00:08:29.230
do you rip a wooden door apart while wearing

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gloves? No one's asking the right questions in

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Scooby -Doo world. Okay? See, I grew up on much

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better stuff. That's impossible. Hocus Pocus.

00:08:37.590 --> 00:08:40.590
That's pretty good. And Goosebumps. That's pretty

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good. What about Halloween Town? Never watched

00:08:42.470 --> 00:08:44.330
Halloween Town. It is. Never seen it. It's probably

00:08:44.330 --> 00:08:46.710
so cringy now, but like, gosh, I love that movie.

00:08:46.850 --> 00:08:50.009
I didn't see Hocus Pocus until the new one came

00:08:50.009 --> 00:08:52.929
out. Oh, geez. Gross. Oh, no. Rachel was like,

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hey, let's go see Hocus Pocus. I was like, I

00:08:55.269 --> 00:08:57.230
should probably watch the first one first. Hocus

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Pocus 2 is not the same. I mean, I thought they

00:08:59.230 --> 00:09:01.129
were both fun. I mean, it was good. It was fun.

00:09:01.710 --> 00:09:06.090
Hocus Pocus. The OG is. I'm just not like a family

00:09:06.090 --> 00:09:09.269
movie person. I've said it before. Sure. I've

00:09:09.269 --> 00:09:10.929
said it before, I'll say it again. What does

00:09:10.929 --> 00:09:13.289
the body count? Because Scooby -Doo and Zombie

00:09:13.289 --> 00:09:15.610
Island had hundreds of dead. Yeah, that's pretty...

00:09:15.610 --> 00:09:17.769
Does it count as a body count if they're already

00:09:17.769 --> 00:09:22.110
dead? Yes. Was it rated PG? Just the corpses.

00:09:22.370 --> 00:09:25.350
I don't... It's a Scooby -Doo movie! Well, right,

00:09:25.470 --> 00:09:27.570
but you're talking about decapitating zombies.

00:09:27.570 --> 00:09:30.809
I'm talking about live action shit! Decapitating

00:09:30.809 --> 00:09:32.909
zombies? I don't know, man. It was filled with

00:09:32.909 --> 00:09:35.070
a ton of child humor that no adult could accept.

00:09:35.250 --> 00:09:37.129
So, like, it had to have been. It had to have

00:09:37.129 --> 00:09:39.730
been, like, E -rated sort of. Yeah, but I don't

00:09:39.730 --> 00:09:44.529
think that kid jokes negate decapitation. Well,

00:09:44.710 --> 00:09:46.149
it's okay because it's zombies. So they just

00:09:46.149 --> 00:09:47.669
put the zombie's head back on the zombie and

00:09:47.669 --> 00:09:49.009
then it just, like, twisted his head around and

00:09:49.009 --> 00:09:51.549
it was fine. Oh, okay. So it was hilarious. It

00:09:51.549 --> 00:09:54.549
was hilarious maiming of a zombie. Gotcha. PG.

00:09:54.649 --> 00:09:57.970
That's safe for kids, I think. I think so. PG.

00:09:58.090 --> 00:10:01.480
PG, PG. All right. I did my bit. I took a whole

00:10:01.480 --> 00:10:02.899
time. You guys want to do something else? Take

00:10:02.899 --> 00:10:04.799
some time. Tell us, listeners, have you seen

00:10:04.799 --> 00:10:09.500
Scooby -Doo and the zombie frightening? How dare

00:10:09.500 --> 00:10:15.700
you? You guys want to do the wildest fight we've

00:10:15.700 --> 00:10:18.899
ever done on the show? Yep. Ready to have some

00:10:18.899 --> 00:10:21.200
fun. Oh, no. You guys are trying to survive.

00:10:21.980 --> 00:10:26.840
I'm having fun. Let's get some music on here.

00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:31.460
Because before any fight can happen, you've been

00:10:31.460 --> 00:10:34.580
challenged to prove yourselves. So if you want

00:10:34.580 --> 00:10:37.620
to enter the ring, I need, the pig man needs

00:10:37.620 --> 00:10:40.679
to know that you're able to handle the heat.

00:10:41.299 --> 00:10:43.460
You're not just going to fold in half and fall

00:10:43.460 --> 00:10:46.919
apart the second I get serious. So right now,

00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:50.480
the four of you have moved into the pig pen.

00:10:50.940 --> 00:10:53.820
Surrounded by all sorts of fitness gear everywhere.

00:10:54.039 --> 00:10:56.179
Let me give you a map real quick. It's not the

00:10:56.179 --> 00:10:59.000
whole pig pen. But it's at least of the sort

00:10:59.000 --> 00:11:01.100
of middle area. You can assume there's some workout

00:11:01.100 --> 00:11:04.059
stuff kind of around. This place is huge. Now

00:11:04.059 --> 00:11:07.539
I'll show you the ring. Once again, thank you

00:11:07.539 --> 00:11:10.580
to Rochelle, SoundPukyGirl, for another amazing

00:11:10.580 --> 00:11:14.159
map. One that I got a long time ago and didn't

00:11:14.159 --> 00:11:16.500
think we were going to use until recently. So,

00:11:16.500 --> 00:11:20.940
boom. Holy shit. Look at that. One quick thing.

00:11:21.080 --> 00:11:23.019
I made some stupid mistakes last time because

00:11:23.019 --> 00:11:24.919
I'm an idiot. The ring is not, I think it's a

00:11:24.919 --> 00:11:28.120
hexagonal. It's actually octagonal. for one.

00:11:28.220 --> 00:11:30.179
And for two, I got the squares around there,

00:11:30.179 --> 00:11:32.740
10 foot squares. It is a 60 by 60 foot ring,

00:11:32.779 --> 00:11:35.179
not 30 by 30. So it's a very big, very big ring.

00:11:36.100 --> 00:11:38.519
All the bottles are cleaned out of it. There's

00:11:38.519 --> 00:11:40.460
a couple like stains here and there, but he's

00:11:40.460 --> 00:11:42.000
like, you know, kicked all the bottles off to

00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:43.240
the side. They're kind of rolling on the floor

00:11:43.240 --> 00:11:44.740
around it because before it was just covered

00:11:44.740 --> 00:11:47.539
in crap. All the little taco bits. He cleaned

00:11:47.539 --> 00:11:49.200
up during those 10 minutes you were away getting

00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:51.379
your party together. Now the lights are on in

00:11:51.379 --> 00:11:53.620
full blast. He is standing in the ring center

00:11:53.620 --> 00:11:57.179
looking down at you. I took the liberty of making

00:11:57.179 --> 00:12:00.820
a token for Blanche. I see that. Let me zoom

00:12:00.820 --> 00:12:06.480
in a little bit. That is brilliant. Oh, she's

00:12:06.480 --> 00:12:11.460
buff. I love that. It's Buff Marge. Buff Marge

00:12:11.460 --> 00:12:15.860
Simpson. Nice. That's hard to say. Oh, my God.

00:12:15.899 --> 00:12:19.100
Do you have a picture of Bucky for Dresden? I've

00:12:19.100 --> 00:12:21.379
had that forever. Seriously? Dude, if you look

00:12:21.379 --> 00:12:23.019
at our Discord gallery. We've never zoomed in.

00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:27.100
Bucky is our Discord gallery on these maps so

00:12:27.100 --> 00:12:30.000
much. I've never made tokens. And you see there

00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:32.940
is the pig man in the center of the ring. I have,

00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:35.120
sitting in the stands, there's Hector. I didn't

00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:36.320
know if he came in. I don't know if he came in

00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:37.899
with you guys, but I'll say shortly after you

00:12:37.899 --> 00:12:40.000
walk in, he sort of bustles in. He's got this

00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:45.120
tray, sizzling large churros on it. This heavy,

00:12:45.240 --> 00:12:47.679
sugary cinnamon smell just wafting, sort of filling

00:12:47.679 --> 00:12:50.120
the air as he kind of moves past you and sets

00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:54.620
up a little sort of... Spectator? No. What do

00:12:54.620 --> 00:12:56.519
you call the guy that's running things? The rules

00:12:56.519 --> 00:12:58.720
guy? Referee? Ref stand. Yeah, he's got a little

00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:01.440
ref table. He's sitting there. Boom. Playing

00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:04.500
churros. Snacking away and watching. He's delighted.

00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:06.840
This is fun. Hector's eating the churros? He

00:13:06.840 --> 00:13:09.059
ate some of them. He can't have his own food.

00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:11.399
I mean, I'm just surprised. I figured they were

00:13:11.399 --> 00:13:15.000
for Pigman. Yeah. Pigman's cool. Give him a thumbs

00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:17.899
up. He's a cool fucking dude. Alright. You're

00:13:17.899 --> 00:13:19.159
going to kick your ass now. Well, let's see how

00:13:19.159 --> 00:13:21.299
cool Pigman is, because Blanche would like to

00:13:21.299 --> 00:13:23.879
speak with him before we get rolling here. Okay.

00:13:23.940 --> 00:13:29.419
All right. So... Oh, Pigman. These are my friends.

00:13:29.899 --> 00:13:34.200
Friends, this is Pigman the Luminary. Hey, yeah,

00:13:34.279 --> 00:13:38.399
I'm that guy. I know it's a lot. People get kind

00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:40.620
of weirded out, but I'm just a regular dude like

00:13:40.620 --> 00:13:45.200
you. He's 11 feet tall. He's huge. Actually,

00:13:45.500 --> 00:13:48.379
I realized, did I? I didn't. Did I get your name,

00:13:48.440 --> 00:13:53.620
Turtle? Not yet, Pigman. Oh, I'm so rude. I'm

00:13:53.620 --> 00:13:55.580
sorry. I'm hungry. I don't know what to say.

00:13:55.919 --> 00:14:03.059
My name is Blanche Trudeau. It's a pleasure to

00:14:03.059 --> 00:14:06.700
finally introduce myself to you. Blanche Trudeau.

00:14:06.899 --> 00:14:09.740
Yeah, I like it. That's a good name. Thank you,

00:14:09.759 --> 00:14:13.360
Pigman. These are my friends here. John Franklin.

00:14:14.299 --> 00:14:16.080
Pleased to meet you. He's actually like, I think

00:14:16.080 --> 00:14:18.340
he's almost bashfully kind of like looking down.

00:14:19.240 --> 00:14:22.299
Pleased to meet you, sir. Sir, I'm Sir Pigman.

00:14:22.460 --> 00:14:28.480
Wow, you're bigger than I thought, but I... Sir,

00:14:29.179 --> 00:14:32.460
it's the big man. He's out of his mind. Keep

00:14:32.460 --> 00:14:34.860
your cool, Jean. Right, right. Sorry, sorry,

00:14:34.879 --> 00:14:40.360
sir. Over here, Dresden Kelleg. And the other

00:14:40.360 --> 00:14:45.250
side of him is our friend Ramin. whose last name

00:14:45.250 --> 00:14:50.009
escapes me at present. It's Rasul. Rasul. Ramin

00:14:50.009 --> 00:14:54.889
Rasul, yes. Pigman, about Ramin. Yeah, he's going

00:14:54.889 --> 00:14:57.529
to fall apart, like, just standing there. I don't

00:14:57.529 --> 00:15:00.409
think he can do this. I was hoping to ask for

00:15:00.409 --> 00:15:05.289
a handicap. Oh, a handicap. Yeah, that's fine.

00:15:05.350 --> 00:15:08.389
Everyone always does for me, yeah. Since you

00:15:08.389 --> 00:15:14.039
are so much more powerful than we are, I was

00:15:14.039 --> 00:15:18.960
hoping that Ramin could participate from the

00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:22.200
sidelines. Um, I think he just, he's almost,

00:15:22.220 --> 00:15:24.480
like, not, he's, like, stretching, and he's almost

00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:26.460
not, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, that's fine. Oh,

00:15:26.500 --> 00:15:27.720
yeah, just hold him in the ring, and he can do

00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:31.120
whatever he wants outside of it. He's, uh, he's

00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:36.620
afflicted with Serenno. Serenno? Oh. Surely you

00:15:36.620 --> 00:15:40.120
must be familiar. Yeah, I heard, heard bits and

00:15:40.120 --> 00:15:42.340
pieces. It's supposed to be real bad out there,

00:15:42.360 --> 00:15:45.809
I heard. It's horrible. I haven't seen any of

00:15:45.809 --> 00:15:48.409
it, but Marvel says it's really not a big deal.

00:15:49.690 --> 00:15:52.309
But I hear on the network people really worry

00:15:52.309 --> 00:15:55.309
about it. Well, you can see here firsthand what

00:15:55.309 --> 00:16:00.210
Serenno does to a powerful, hardened soldier

00:16:00.210 --> 00:16:04.570
and warrior. Um, what? He just looks nervously.

00:16:04.809 --> 00:16:12.990
I mean, yes, I am powerful and hard. This once,

00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:17.100
noble combatant is wasting away under the disease,

00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:20.860
under the sickness. Yeah, that's funny. I don't

00:16:20.860 --> 00:16:22.860
know. I've heard it's out there. I don't know.

00:16:24.679 --> 00:16:27.000
He's fixed it. He's still stretching. He's fixed

00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:29.600
it on the fight. You're like, hey, but bad things

00:16:29.600 --> 00:16:31.200
are happening in the world. He's like, I want

00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:34.500
to fight you right now. All right, yeah, he doesn't

00:16:34.500 --> 00:16:35.960
need to try out. He can do what he wants on the

00:16:35.960 --> 00:16:37.440
outside. Actually, you know what? I should drop

00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:39.720
the ground rules for this, first of all, because

00:16:39.720 --> 00:16:42.440
it's kind of a big deal. Before you guys try

00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:44.580
out, I'll let you know what you're in for. So,

00:16:44.580 --> 00:16:47.379
first of all, I know you wanted to ask me some

00:16:47.379 --> 00:16:51.000
questions about Marfil, all that stuff, but I

00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:53.399
really don't want to break up the fun. So, how

00:16:53.399 --> 00:16:54.759
about I tell you some stuff after the fight?

00:16:54.860 --> 00:16:57.100
Win or lose, huh? I'll answer whatever questions

00:16:57.100 --> 00:17:00.259
you want to ask. As long as it's not too sensitive.

00:17:00.460 --> 00:17:03.500
I don't want to, you know, get them guys mad

00:17:03.500 --> 00:17:08.460
at me. That sounds fair. All right, so the fight

00:17:08.460 --> 00:17:11.019
itself. You guys aren't trained in lucha libre

00:17:11.019 --> 00:17:13.400
arts, so you can't... You just come into this

00:17:13.400 --> 00:17:15.839
like a normal fight, right? Weapons, magic items,

00:17:16.039 --> 00:17:19.339
you got it. Go ahead, use it. Seriously, aim

00:17:19.339 --> 00:17:21.720
to kill. I want to have a good time. If you manage

00:17:21.720 --> 00:17:24.420
to take me down, Hector will patch me up, but

00:17:24.420 --> 00:17:28.509
I wouldn't worry about that. You just need to

00:17:28.509 --> 00:17:30.670
make me say uncle. Throw in the towel. All right,

00:17:30.710 --> 00:17:33.569
if you give me a good time, I'll call it. Give

00:17:33.569 --> 00:17:38.410
me some wounds. Blanche looks over to Dresden.

00:17:39.390 --> 00:17:43.470
I, uh, suppose the kit gloves are off, soldier

00:17:43.470 --> 00:17:48.309
boy. Let's go for it. I'll take you on like any

00:17:48.309 --> 00:17:50.950
other lucha libre contest. I'm using my wrestling

00:17:50.950 --> 00:17:53.369
throws. I'm using my normal moves. And for the

00:17:53.369 --> 00:17:55.390
most part, you should be all right. I, uh...

00:17:55.680 --> 00:17:57.660
I've learned how to hold back on doing real,

00:17:57.759 --> 00:18:00.319
you know, damage to a body. Just kind of going

00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:03.299
to knock you out a little. But if I get excited,

00:18:03.400 --> 00:18:05.700
sometimes I can, you know, I can lose control

00:18:05.700 --> 00:18:08.619
a bit, and it can slip, and I can hurt. So let's

00:18:08.619 --> 00:18:11.000
just make sure you're good for it. So like I

00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:12.799
said before, you got equipment all around. Look

00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:15.119
at everything. I think Marvel takes good care

00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:17.400
of me here. So if you guys want to show me what

00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:20.000
you can do, give me a little performance. Use

00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:23.000
what you can. Let's see, you know, some feat

00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:26.680
of athleticism. All right, what are we working

00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:29.099
with here? What do we got around? Like I said

00:18:29.099 --> 00:18:31.319
before, pretty much anything you can think of

00:18:31.319 --> 00:18:35.019
that's some sort of athletic training tool or

00:18:35.019 --> 00:18:37.420
acrobatic tool, it's there. There's hanging bars,

00:18:37.660 --> 00:18:40.720
climbing walls, a pool in the back, weights everywhere.

00:18:41.539 --> 00:18:43.500
You tell me what there is. You tell me what you

00:18:43.500 --> 00:18:45.119
want to do with it, and I'll tell you what check

00:18:45.119 --> 00:18:48.200
it's going to be. You need to basically beat

00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:52.440
a certain DC. Okay. I'll tell you this right

00:18:52.440 --> 00:18:55.170
now. I'm going to give you two chances. To beat

00:18:55.170 --> 00:18:57.210
that DC. You know, Pigman understands sometimes

00:18:57.210 --> 00:18:59.250
you're not performing at your best right off.

00:18:59.970 --> 00:19:03.490
All right. All right. Well, if you said there

00:19:03.490 --> 00:19:08.789
are bars, then Blanche will head over to the

00:19:08.789 --> 00:19:13.529
bars and try to do some jumps and spins and moves

00:19:13.529 --> 00:19:16.390
around these monkey bars. Before she does that.

00:19:16.890 --> 00:19:19.430
Ramin is going to go over and put his hand onto

00:19:19.430 --> 00:19:23.589
her shoulder and cast Guidance, which allows

00:19:23.589 --> 00:19:28.210
a 1d4 to any ability check. Hell yeah. Okay,

00:19:28.289 --> 00:19:32.509
that's the move. Ramin, like I said, he can't

00:19:32.509 --> 00:19:35.099
enter the ring. But he's free to use any ranged

00:19:35.099 --> 00:19:37.099
abilities or anything he can do outside of it.

00:19:37.160 --> 00:19:38.700
If he can touch someone from outside the ring,

00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:40.079
that's fine. He just can't climb in the ropes.

00:19:40.180 --> 00:19:42.799
And we haven't split up yet, so he's still...

00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:44.279
Yeah, so he's out there with you guys. He can

00:19:44.279 --> 00:19:46.420
walk right over, touch Blanche. Pigman's just

00:19:46.420 --> 00:19:48.500
watching from the ring, his eyes following you

00:19:48.500 --> 00:19:51.059
as you move to the bars. You got that D4. What

00:19:51.059 --> 00:19:55.140
you going to do? All right. Like to roll acrobatics

00:19:55.140 --> 00:19:57.119
for this, I'm guessing? Yeah, roll acrobatics,

00:19:57.140 --> 00:19:58.920
and based on what you rolled, describe your action.

00:19:59.299 --> 00:20:01.799
All right. Blanche is going to walk up to these

00:20:01.799 --> 00:20:05.960
monkey bars. and the role will dictate how cool

00:20:05.960 --> 00:20:10.619
she does this. Yes! The plan is to jump up, grab

00:20:10.619 --> 00:20:14.359
the bars, do a couple quick pull -ups, and then

00:20:14.359 --> 00:20:19.640
she wants to flip her body vertical so that her

00:20:19.640 --> 00:20:24.140
hands are down, and then do some upside -down

00:20:24.140 --> 00:20:26.980
pull -ups, like push -ups with her body straight

00:20:26.980 --> 00:20:30.539
up. Holy shit! That's the goal here. That's the

00:20:30.539 --> 00:20:33.799
goal. Woof. Is that acrobatics or athletics anymore?

00:20:33.980 --> 00:20:36.319
I don't know. I mean, that's pretty acrobatic,

00:20:36.359 --> 00:20:38.619
I'm going to guess. That's acrobatics. All right.

00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:40.240
Push -ups. Upside -down push -ups feel pretty

00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:43.859
damn athletic. I mean, well, I can just do spins.

00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:45.960
I want to do something cool on the bars that

00:20:45.960 --> 00:20:47.299
are acrobatic. No, no, this is cool as hell.

00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:49.660
All right. Acrobatics is fine. And you said I

00:20:49.660 --> 00:20:51.140
get two rolls, so basically I'm rolling with

00:20:51.140 --> 00:20:53.660
advantage. So roll the first one, and then we'll

00:20:53.660 --> 00:20:55.000
see if you fail. I need to canonically know if

00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:58.440
you fail first. That way it can be funny. Great.

00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:06.079
Advantage? No, that's not funnier. 18. 18. 18's

00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:08.440
very good. Wait a minute. I'm sorry. I didn't

00:21:08.440 --> 00:21:12.180
even add my modifier. 22. Yeah, describe. I mean,

00:21:12.180 --> 00:21:15.579
you already described it by saying your intention.

00:21:15.619 --> 00:21:17.839
You do it. You do exactly that. And you just

00:21:17.839 --> 00:21:23.890
hear a... Oh, man. All right. Okay. Damn! Yeah,

00:21:23.970 --> 00:21:26.569
you're good. How was that for you, pig man? That

00:21:26.569 --> 00:21:30.710
was awesome. I can't even do that. Oh, I'd probably

00:21:30.710 --> 00:21:35.329
break the bars if I tried. All right. Hey, other

00:21:35.329 --> 00:21:37.029
turtle, why don't you go up there? You're next.

00:21:37.650 --> 00:21:41.190
What's the genre? You're Jean, by the way. Oh,

00:21:41.509 --> 00:21:44.390
I'm Jean. What's Jean going to do? Yeah, let

00:21:44.390 --> 00:21:46.789
me see what Jean's got going on here real fast

00:21:46.789 --> 00:21:51.690
as far as stats go. Huh. I don't know how to

00:21:51.690 --> 00:21:55.769
display constitution in a gym. Hmm. Interesting.

00:21:56.750 --> 00:21:59.769
Any ideas, Jeremy? I would say it would be something

00:21:59.769 --> 00:22:03.970
like. Maybe. Like, you know, how long can he

00:22:03.970 --> 00:22:07.289
hang for? How long can he do like a plank? How

00:22:07.289 --> 00:22:08.670
long can he stand underwater? I don't know. Things

00:22:08.670 --> 00:22:12.529
like that. Hmm. Well. Can you hold a weight above

00:22:12.529 --> 00:22:13.609
his head for some amount of time? That's what

00:22:13.609 --> 00:22:16.130
I was thinking. That's kind of strength. I could

00:22:16.130 --> 00:22:18.150
argue con as well. Yeah. Just held against the

00:22:18.150 --> 00:22:21.000
pain. I was going to say something, but again,

00:22:21.099 --> 00:22:23.500
it ties in with strength more, I think. If maybe

00:22:23.500 --> 00:22:28.759
Blanche just keeps loading more weights onto

00:22:28.759 --> 00:22:32.200
Jean Franklin. Ooh, that's not bad. To see how

00:22:32.200 --> 00:22:34.460
much he can withstand before he just collapses

00:22:34.460 --> 00:22:38.220
under it. I want to say that can go strength

00:22:38.220 --> 00:22:40.480
or con for this cake, because I think that's

00:22:40.480 --> 00:22:43.880
fun. Okay. It's resilience. All right, I'd like

00:22:43.880 --> 00:22:48.000
to do that with con. All right. So... The hard

00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:49.180
thing here is you're not going to have a specific

00:22:49.180 --> 00:22:51.160
skill. It's not going to be athletics. It's going

00:22:51.160 --> 00:22:54.819
to be... Oh, right. That's going to be your straight

00:22:54.819 --> 00:22:58.180
con stat. His skills. Okay, yeah. He has athletics

00:22:58.180 --> 00:23:01.099
plus two. So that's probably all we can go with

00:23:01.099 --> 00:23:03.640
then. Let's do it. Let's do the same plan. Athletics

00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:06.279
plus two beyond his strength stat, right? So

00:23:06.279 --> 00:23:07.640
that's actually probably better than his con

00:23:07.640 --> 00:23:11.920
stat normally. Sure. Okay. Let's do that. So

00:23:11.920 --> 00:23:15.329
then he's rolling that with a plus four. Let

00:23:15.329 --> 00:23:19.109
me go check his stats. Yes. He has a four in

00:23:19.109 --> 00:23:21.730
athletics, yes. Okay. Excellent. We'll stick

00:23:21.730 --> 00:23:25.750
with that plan. So, you know, he gets low. He,

00:23:25.910 --> 00:23:29.349
you know, finds a stance, whatever. Legs wider,

00:23:29.509 --> 00:23:31.869
Jean. Legs wider. Yes. Sorry, sir. All right,

00:23:31.890 --> 00:23:35.089
sir. Are you ready? I was born ready, sir. I'll

00:23:35.089 --> 00:23:37.730
stack the plates. Is he watching, sir? Is he

00:23:37.730 --> 00:23:40.529
watching? He's watching, Jean. Oh, God. All right.

00:23:41.509 --> 00:23:46.819
Hey. Look at me? Yes, sir. Remember to breathe.

00:23:48.200 --> 00:23:52.680
Right. Okay. Let's go. First roll for Jean. Plus

00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:59.559
four. Just a two. He can also get that guidance,

00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:01.359
too. Everyone can get that. That's not something

00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:03.480
that has to go on one person. It's a cantrip.

00:24:03.720 --> 00:24:05.240
Oh, that's right. I guess we're not in turn order

00:24:05.240 --> 00:24:07.940
yet, so I can just do it willy -nilly. Guidance

00:24:07.940 --> 00:24:10.619
is just like that. It's very good. I mean, except

00:24:10.619 --> 00:24:14.220
in combat. Not in combat. Right. Yeah, so can

00:24:14.220 --> 00:24:17.400
we just retroactively say that I just hit guidance

00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:20.519
for everybody? Ramin's just walking around, giving

00:24:20.519 --> 00:24:24.640
everybody butt pats. I like that. Say good game.

00:24:24.859 --> 00:24:28.640
Say good game. Say good game as Ramin. Good game.

00:24:28.799 --> 00:24:33.680
Good game. Good game. All right. So that's just

00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:36.519
a six. Let's see what we get on the D4. Just

00:24:36.519 --> 00:24:40.000
to see how we can save a little bit. Maybe we

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.009
can hit a ten. Come on, baby. Nope, that's just

00:24:44.009 --> 00:24:47.789
a one, so seven. Drops the weights. Ah, shit.

00:24:48.329 --> 00:24:50.130
Sorry, sir. I didn't breathe. I was excited.

00:24:50.250 --> 00:24:53.450
He's watching. He's really watching. All right.

00:24:53.849 --> 00:24:56.990
One more time, please. Refocus. Pigment just

00:24:56.990 --> 00:24:59.670
kind of nods. Yeah, yeah. No, people get nervous.

00:24:59.730 --> 00:25:02.089
It's all right. Hey, hey, buddy. It's all right.

00:25:02.849 --> 00:25:06.289
All right. I really feel like I can't fuck this

00:25:06.289 --> 00:25:09.990
up. I think I... Do I use a button now? Oh, my

00:25:09.990 --> 00:25:11.869
God. Because, I mean, like, if Jaune's not in

00:25:11.869 --> 00:25:14.960
the ring, then we're at a disadvantage. I think

00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:16.720
we need everybody in the ring. Then we're at

00:25:16.720 --> 00:25:18.759
a disadvantage the whole fight. Yeah. I want

00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:20.059
to offer you something else before you give me

00:25:20.059 --> 00:25:22.140
that button. Oh, okay. Because of the way you

00:25:22.140 --> 00:25:25.700
decided to do this, I want Blanche to roll. Ooh,

00:25:25.779 --> 00:25:28.539
help action? I want to give you a chance to have

00:25:28.539 --> 00:25:30.079
a help action here because you're placing his

00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:32.759
weight. Maybe Blanche can place the weights distributed

00:25:32.759 --> 00:25:35.480
in a certain way to help Jaune out. Seeing where

00:25:35.480 --> 00:25:38.079
his stance faltered last time, you're like, okay,

00:25:38.140 --> 00:25:39.980
cool. His left side's weaker. Maybe I should

00:25:39.980 --> 00:25:42.559
start on the right side. You understand Jaune.

00:25:42.660 --> 00:25:45.880
Maybe she can use Mage Hand to hold five pounds

00:25:45.880 --> 00:25:48.640
off. I think that would be notable because Mage

00:25:48.640 --> 00:25:50.779
Hand, unless you're a certain class, it's visible.

00:25:51.039 --> 00:25:53.460
But how about you roll Insight into Jaune or

00:25:53.460 --> 00:25:56.109
Perception, your choice. And if you pass a certain

00:25:56.109 --> 00:25:57.849
DC, I'm going to give the help action to Jaune

00:25:57.849 --> 00:26:00.170
in this next roll. Okay. If not, then you can

00:26:00.170 --> 00:26:02.609
use your button. All right. I'll use insight.

00:26:03.150 --> 00:26:05.910
See what we get. You know Jaune well. I'm not

00:26:05.910 --> 00:26:08.410
going to have to be crazy. Dirty 20. You're fine.

00:26:08.730 --> 00:26:12.150
I just used a good roll for that. You got advantage

00:26:12.150 --> 00:26:14.750
now. Hey, it's better than using a button. That's

00:26:14.750 --> 00:26:16.150
true. It's better than using a button. Okay.

00:26:16.289 --> 00:26:19.349
So now I'm going to roll for Jaune with advantage

00:26:19.349 --> 00:26:23.369
and the butt tap guidance. Yeah. Butt tap guidance.

00:26:23.509 --> 00:26:31.700
Butt tap guidance. It didn't help. What? It was

00:26:31.700 --> 00:26:35.619
worse, I think. Did you also factor in... Yeah,

00:26:35.680 --> 00:26:40.220
so... No! That's a... Actually, that's a 10.

00:26:40.660 --> 00:26:45.019
Is it? Hold on. 3, 6, 10. Yeah. I just don't

00:26:45.019 --> 00:26:46.599
think a 10 is going to impress the... I think

00:26:46.599 --> 00:26:49.039
he's able to hold it for a bit, and he's struggling,

00:26:49.359 --> 00:26:51.960
and when he finally drops it, you turn your attention

00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:55.710
to the pig man, and he just kind of... I don't

00:26:55.710 --> 00:27:00.569
know. Sorry, little guy. I don't want to hurt

00:27:00.569 --> 00:27:05.450
you. I'm sorry. I've seen him fight. He's just

00:27:05.450 --> 00:27:12.930
nervous. I admit, pig man, I'm a little disappointed

00:27:12.930 --> 00:27:20.210
in my star pupil. But he is my star pupil. And

00:27:20.210 --> 00:27:22.829
I can vouch for him. I'll give you a chance.

00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:26.140
I've trained him since a boy. Please give him

00:27:26.140 --> 00:27:29.539
one last shot. I'm gonna have to use the goddamn

00:27:29.539 --> 00:27:32.559
button anyway. I can't not use a button if he

00:27:32.559 --> 00:27:37.000
gives me another shot. I know. Pick that up.

00:27:37.539 --> 00:27:42.759
How could you? How could you, sir? All right.

00:27:42.900 --> 00:27:46.200
Wait. I gotta play this out. I need a persuasion

00:27:46.200 --> 00:27:48.720
check first. Okay. Dresden gave you the help

00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:50.900
action. If you want this next chance, I need

00:27:50.900 --> 00:27:54.079
a persuasion check. All right. Plus zero. Sir,

00:27:54.200 --> 00:27:58.079
I'm sorry, sir. Thank you. I won't fail you again.

00:27:59.240 --> 00:28:02.799
That's 19 without the help action, so let's see

00:28:02.799 --> 00:28:06.359
if I can crit. Another 18. There I go, using

00:28:06.359 --> 00:28:08.220
up more good rolls. This is all those good rolls.

00:28:08.220 --> 00:28:11.859
Yeah, watch two natural ones come. 19's pretty

00:28:11.859 --> 00:28:14.099
good, actually. I'm trying to decide if I'm going

00:28:14.099 --> 00:28:17.119
to waive another test and allow Jean in based

00:28:17.119 --> 00:28:20.460
on the merit of he's just nervous. You gave me

00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:23.220
a button. I gave you a button. You rolled pretty

00:28:23.220 --> 00:28:25.400
high there, even without the advantage from the

00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:28.619
button. The advantage was... Oh, you gave me

00:28:28.619 --> 00:28:32.000
a button for this. Because you gave me a button

00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:34.599
for Jaune, I'm going to let Jaune get in this

00:28:34.599 --> 00:28:37.740
combat. Oh, yeah. Without the check. Okay. Because

00:28:37.740 --> 00:28:39.819
you rolled high on the persuasion. You both argued

00:28:39.819 --> 00:28:42.019
well. I think that Pigman's going to accept,

00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:44.579
okay, he obviously is nervous. Maybe he'll do

00:28:44.579 --> 00:28:47.700
better in the ring. He trusts you. You did really

00:28:47.700 --> 00:28:50.380
good, and he's your star pupil. So Pigman's kind

00:28:50.380 --> 00:28:54.200
of, all right. You know what? Fine. It wasn't

00:28:54.200 --> 00:28:57.019
bad. You know, it was a standard right down the

00:28:57.019 --> 00:29:00.059
middle of the road sort of check there on the

00:29:00.059 --> 00:29:03.019
weight. Your plates, pig man, are just so...

00:29:03.019 --> 00:29:04.859
I could hardly get them off the ground. Out of

00:29:04.859 --> 00:29:07.160
a 20, I'd call it a 10. That's not too bad. All

00:29:07.160 --> 00:29:13.720
right, get in the ring. Get in the ring, little

00:29:13.720 --> 00:29:17.890
guy. Thank you, sir. He's... Fires, he slaps

00:29:17.890 --> 00:29:20.029
himself in the face and runs in, dives into the

00:29:20.029 --> 00:29:24.549
ropes. He's so excited. All right. Hey, you over

00:29:24.549 --> 00:29:26.750
there, you look pretty tough. He points to you,

00:29:26.849 --> 00:29:32.410
Dresden. Okay. Is there, like, a sparring dummy?

00:29:33.049 --> 00:29:37.150
Oh, yeah. Okay. You see there is one that still

00:29:37.150 --> 00:29:39.549
has all of its limbs and heads and stuff. Okay.

00:29:39.750 --> 00:29:45.069
The rest of them are torn apart. Dresden is intending

00:29:45.069 --> 00:29:49.480
to... with his strength, obliterate whatever's

00:29:49.480 --> 00:29:52.039
left of the dummy. Holy shit, okay. So we're

00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:56.099
not in combat right now, correct? No, yeah, not

00:29:56.099 --> 00:29:58.059
in combat. So abilities and spells can be used.

00:29:58.660 --> 00:30:02.019
Ooh. Kind of willy -nilly, right? I'm interested

00:30:02.019 --> 00:30:04.420
in this. For the most part? Yeah. Okay, let me

00:30:04.420 --> 00:30:06.900
explain what I want to do. I want to go over,

00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:11.019
and when I get to the dummy... Oh, that one's

00:30:11.019 --> 00:30:13.619
Reggie. When I get to Reggie... I named him Reggie.

00:30:14.670 --> 00:30:17.809
In addition to going over there myself, I want

00:30:17.809 --> 00:30:20.869
to see if I can manifest my echo behind the dummy,

00:30:21.269 --> 00:30:24.890
one -two punch it, but then immediately call

00:30:24.890 --> 00:30:27.769
back my echo so that it's only just like a flash.

00:30:27.849 --> 00:30:30.430
I don't want to give too much away about it.

00:30:30.509 --> 00:30:33.589
Okay. But I want it to just be kind of like this

00:30:33.589 --> 00:30:37.069
flash of holy shit. I mean, showcasing this cool,

00:30:37.269 --> 00:30:40.130
mysterious power within you. Yeah. Right. I'm

00:30:40.130 --> 00:30:42.289
into that. Right. I'm into that. Is that okay?

00:30:42.410 --> 00:30:45.410
Yeah. Okay. I think we're going to roll two hits

00:30:45.410 --> 00:30:47.549
in damage on the dummy. Okay. Is the way we'll

00:30:47.549 --> 00:30:49.170
reserve this, see how much damage you do in this.

00:30:50.329 --> 00:30:52.390
The pig man watches intently as you approach

00:30:52.390 --> 00:30:55.390
the dummy, and you feel this. We haven't really

00:30:55.390 --> 00:30:58.049
gotten into this very much. Sorry, Google Chrome

00:30:58.049 --> 00:30:59.890
thought it was a cool idea to tell me about Facebook.

00:31:00.029 --> 00:31:02.490
Great. Perfect. You know you can turn off all

00:31:02.490 --> 00:31:04.329
of those notifications. I actually don't know

00:31:04.329 --> 00:31:07.690
that. You know what? I'll spend a couple hours

00:31:07.690 --> 00:31:09.750
one day and set up your computer. I am a grandfather

00:31:09.750 --> 00:31:13.349
when it comes to technology. You know this. I

00:31:13.349 --> 00:31:15.750
do. You see me try to set my mic up. It doesn't

00:31:15.750 --> 00:31:17.750
mean I'm going to ever stop giving you shit about

00:31:17.750 --> 00:31:20.930
it. It's fair. It's fair. We haven't gotten into

00:31:20.930 --> 00:31:24.349
this very much. I intend to before long. Sure.

00:31:24.930 --> 00:31:27.589
I think you step before your dummy and you feel

00:31:27.589 --> 00:31:31.829
this burning, searing pain somewhere in the back

00:31:31.829 --> 00:31:34.250
of your ribs, sort of under your, is it your

00:31:34.250 --> 00:31:37.589
left arm? My right. Your right arm. My right.

00:31:37.750 --> 00:31:40.799
You feel this sort of burning pain. Pain, an

00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:44.779
old wound, and maybe something more. As you tap

00:31:44.779 --> 00:31:49.200
into it, tap into an old wish, and something

00:31:49.200 --> 00:31:52.839
appears behind the dummy in this quick flurry

00:31:52.839 --> 00:31:54.519
of movements. What's it look like? Give me those

00:31:54.519 --> 00:31:55.920
attack rolls, and actually we'll describe it

00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:58.079
then. All right, attack roll number one. Hell

00:31:58.079 --> 00:32:04.039
yeah. Attack one is a dirty 20. Hell yeah. And

00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:07.339
attack two is, oh wait, yeah, no, attack two

00:32:07.339 --> 00:32:10.990
is a 15. 15. Okay. Yes. Your D4 as well. That's

00:32:10.990 --> 00:32:13.549
for ability check. Oh, shit. Jesus. It's not

00:32:13.549 --> 00:32:17.930
Bless. No. Although, fuck. Yeah, Ramin has Bless.

00:32:19.069 --> 00:32:21.089
We'll get to that before we start the fight.

00:32:21.210 --> 00:32:23.470
Right. Bless can't be a cantrip, though. No.

00:32:23.930 --> 00:32:25.430
How many slots is it? Oh, yeah. It's four slots,

00:32:25.549 --> 00:32:29.130
though. Yeah. We'll say 15 will hit the wooden

00:32:29.130 --> 00:32:31.930
straw dummy. Hell yeah. That'll cleave good.

00:32:32.230 --> 00:32:33.869
Right, it's a wooden straw dummy. Yeah, it's

00:32:33.869 --> 00:32:36.029
a dummy. It's not moving. As long as you're doing

00:32:36.029 --> 00:32:37.769
damage to actually do some damage to it or hit

00:32:37.769 --> 00:32:40.430
high enough AC to get into the threshold of it.

00:32:40.470 --> 00:32:42.670
So my echo makes that move, and then I immediately

00:32:42.670 --> 00:32:44.690
have him disappear. Hell yeah. Give me some damage

00:32:44.690 --> 00:32:54.490
on those. 17. 17. 17 is a lot of damage. 17 is

00:32:54.490 --> 00:32:57.039
enough damage to... tear a good portion of this

00:32:57.039 --> 00:32:59.799
dummy apart, just ripping straw from wood. What

00:32:59.799 --> 00:33:01.220
do you take out? What's it look like? What are

00:33:01.220 --> 00:33:05.339
you carving? He writes pig man in his chest.

00:33:07.460 --> 00:33:11.759
I think the war pick comes up from the bottom

00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:15.259
and just like goes in a couple inches and just

00:33:15.259 --> 00:33:19.900
rips upward with little shards. Like it was so

00:33:19.900 --> 00:33:22.839
much force that shards kind of, a couple go into

00:33:22.839 --> 00:33:26.619
Dresden's face. Holy shit. That's on both sides.

00:33:26.720 --> 00:33:28.700
Just two sprays of shards on two sides of this

00:33:28.700 --> 00:33:31.220
thing. Yeah. Pigman just says, oh no, Reggie.

00:33:31.240 --> 00:33:35.220
Oh, I'm just kidding. That was awesome. Get in

00:33:35.220 --> 00:33:40.980
here. Right in the no -no zone, soldier boy.

00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:46.420
And you are all, apart from Ramin, who basically

00:33:46.420 --> 00:33:48.839
forgoes his athleticism because he knows he'll

00:33:48.839 --> 00:33:51.819
just hurt himself. You are all invited into the

00:33:51.819 --> 00:33:54.160
ring. Blessed is concentration, so for what I

00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:56.119
want to do, that's not going to work. At least

00:33:56.119 --> 00:33:58.819
for who. The cool thing is, you have three slots

00:33:58.819 --> 00:34:00.880
still, right? So you can drop one thing, add

00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:03.480
one thing. Right. His spells are really good

00:34:03.480 --> 00:34:05.059
for being outside the ring, actually. This is

00:34:05.059 --> 00:34:07.460
pretty good for you guys. The thing is, we haven't

00:34:07.460 --> 00:34:10.099
even rolled initiative yet, so I don't even want

00:34:10.099 --> 00:34:11.360
to do that preemptively right now because it

00:34:11.360 --> 00:34:13.539
might just be a waste of a spell slot. Okay.

00:34:14.260 --> 00:34:17.420
Sounds good to me. Okay. Let's go. Outside the

00:34:17.420 --> 00:34:19.719
ring. He's got a towel over his shoulder. He's

00:34:19.719 --> 00:34:23.099
just like your manager over there. Staying at

00:34:23.099 --> 00:34:24.780
the corner, getting ready to massage some shoulders.

00:34:24.860 --> 00:34:27.480
Rubbing shoulders. With holy light palms. He's

00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:29.019
got a water bottle ready to squirt in my mouth.

00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:31.699
He's got three water bottles there. Oh, hell

00:34:31.699 --> 00:34:34.880
yeah. He's just fully ready to go. You guys climbing

00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:37.559
the ring? All of you? Climbing the ring. Yeah.

00:34:37.699 --> 00:34:40.480
Ready to go. Okay. Let's do this. I have you

00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:43.500
set in the map. Uh, right now, as this begins,

00:34:43.739 --> 00:34:45.880
pig man is standing on the sort of Northern side

00:34:45.880 --> 00:34:48.900
of the ring. Hector sort of off behind him and

00:34:48.900 --> 00:34:51.900
to the, uh, to the, I guess, right of where you

00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:54.699
stand. He's about 30 feet away from you as you

00:34:54.699 --> 00:34:57.460
climb in and take your stance. Everyone's sort

00:34:57.460 --> 00:35:00.199
of short way to be 10, 10, 20 feet or 10, 15

00:35:00.199 --> 00:35:02.699
feet in from the, uh, the outside, uh, ropes.

00:35:03.400 --> 00:35:07.480
I should make a point. Uh, as we get into the

00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:12.389
ring, Dresden is going to slip Blanche, A potion

00:35:12.389 --> 00:35:15.929
of growth. Oh, my God. What? Why doesn't Dresden

00:35:15.929 --> 00:35:19.190
take it? Because I think this is a lot more fun.

00:35:19.329 --> 00:35:21.210
Oh, shit. What is happening over here? Oh, shit.

00:35:21.469 --> 00:35:24.010
Oh, shit. This is a lot more fun. Oh, that's

00:35:24.010 --> 00:35:26.650
so much pressure. Giant buff Marge Simpson. This

00:35:26.650 --> 00:35:28.849
is a lot more fun. You guys have to stop. Oh,

00:35:30.429 --> 00:35:33.750
man. Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. We're getting wild with

00:35:33.750 --> 00:35:35.849
this one. Holy shit. Hey. This is the Blanche

00:35:35.849 --> 00:35:37.909
show. This is going to be wild. Should I just

00:35:37.909 --> 00:35:40.190
pop that? Fucking pop it. Okay. That's the intention.

00:35:40.530 --> 00:35:42.510
All right. That's the intention. All right. Oh,

00:35:42.630 --> 00:35:44.989
shit. Oh, shit. Are you going to pop it, like,

00:35:45.010 --> 00:35:47.989
before the fight? Is that your plan? How long

00:35:47.989 --> 00:35:50.650
does it last? I don't know. I don't have it actually

00:35:50.650 --> 00:35:53.750
in here, in D &D Beyond. I believe it's one minute.

00:35:53.789 --> 00:35:55.670
It basically gives you the enlarge effect of

00:35:55.670 --> 00:35:58.500
enlarge person. Let me double check that. Or

00:35:58.500 --> 00:36:01.019
it's enlarge slash reduce. Yeah, because we don't

00:36:01.019 --> 00:36:03.139
want to do it after initiative because then that's

00:36:03.139 --> 00:36:05.539
your action. It really might be worth it for

00:36:05.539 --> 00:36:08.639
me to just do it as we're climbing in. One minute.

00:36:08.940 --> 00:36:10.820
Okay. I mean, there's plenty of time. Yeah, so

00:36:10.820 --> 00:36:13.900
it'll be nine rounds. Yeah. Do you know how enlarge

00:36:13.900 --> 00:36:17.059
works? If you want to describe it for me and

00:36:17.059 --> 00:36:19.039
the listeners as well. When you drink this for

00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:21.159
one minute, your size doubles in all dimensions.

00:36:21.219 --> 00:36:24.639
Your weight is multiplied by eight. Basically...

00:36:24.989 --> 00:36:27.269
You'll now go from medium to large. This means

00:36:27.269 --> 00:36:29.570
you're also going to get advantage on strength

00:36:29.570 --> 00:36:32.489
checks and strength saving throws. Okay. As well

00:36:32.489 --> 00:36:35.170
as extra 1d4 damage from any weapon attacks.

00:36:35.829 --> 00:36:38.769
Excellent. I don't think Pigman's going to have

00:36:38.769 --> 00:36:43.210
a problem with it, so she'll hold it up. Pigman,

00:36:43.269 --> 00:36:46.429
do you mind if I make things interesting? She

00:36:46.429 --> 00:36:49.710
swirls the bottle. Yeah, okay. Is it drugs? I

00:36:49.710 --> 00:36:51.949
mean... I wouldn't do drugs because I'm going

00:36:51.949 --> 00:36:54.230
to. She's already drinking it. She's already

00:36:54.230 --> 00:36:58.369
drinking it. Just like jump, jump, jump. Jauntroid

00:36:58.369 --> 00:37:02.650
dives to the side as Blanche just grows to, I

00:37:02.650 --> 00:37:04.750
guess, like pretty much 11, 12 feet, the same

00:37:04.750 --> 00:37:11.630
size as Pigman. Just boom. Oh, what? Oh, man,

00:37:11.750 --> 00:37:14.190
you guys are going to be so much fun. I like

00:37:14.190 --> 00:37:18.130
you guys a lot. How do you feel about this, Pigman?

00:37:20.820 --> 00:37:23.360
This is insane. Okay, so the minute will start.

00:37:23.360 --> 00:37:25.579
I should also mention, too, he is also casting

00:37:25.579 --> 00:37:30.059
Shield of Faith onto Blanche. Holy shit. So Blanche

00:37:30.059 --> 00:37:34.159
gets a plus two AC for ten minutes. Holy shit.

00:37:34.920 --> 00:37:39.760
All right. All right. You grow. The second you

00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:42.079
grow, the shield casts around you. Invisible

00:37:42.079 --> 00:37:46.460
sort of barrier, vroom, appears around you. Blanche.

00:37:47.099 --> 00:37:50.420
You stand ready. Jaune, spear out. Stans ready.

00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:54.539
Dresden, take a stance. Oh, yeah. The pig man,

00:37:54.739 --> 00:37:58.840
just like one more, like laughing. All right.

00:37:59.380 --> 00:38:04.119
Let's go, Hector. And you hear a bell ring as

00:38:04.119 --> 00:38:09.260
Hog fight reprise begins. And let's change up

00:38:09.260 --> 00:38:12.019
this music. I was expecting it, and we'll call

00:38:12.019 --> 00:38:14.480
it there. No, this is way too short. Not yet,

00:38:14.619 --> 00:38:17.949
not yet. Let's explain the rules for Hogfight

00:38:17.949 --> 00:38:21.610
as it stands. You will utilize your HP as normal

00:38:21.610 --> 00:38:24.530
if it comes to that. But you have a secondary,

00:38:24.730 --> 00:38:27.650
essentially, like, losing mechanic here. And

00:38:27.650 --> 00:38:29.869
that is going to be what I'm calling KO points.

00:38:30.389 --> 00:38:32.170
These are going to be equal to your constitution

00:38:32.170 --> 00:38:35.289
stat. Whatever number your constitution is, that's

00:38:35.289 --> 00:38:37.150
how many KO points you have. Keep that in mind.

00:38:37.170 --> 00:38:39.210
Write that down somewhere. I believe it's a 14

00:38:39.210 --> 00:38:41.789
for Blanche, a 13 for Dresden. Yep, that's right.

00:38:41.909 --> 00:38:45.340
Okay. At least for Dresden. My attacks... are

00:38:45.340 --> 00:38:48.539
generally going to do damage to your KO points,

00:38:48.719 --> 00:38:51.539
rather than to your straight HP. Pigman tries

00:38:51.539 --> 00:38:54.760
to hold back. That might not always be possible,

00:38:54.980 --> 00:38:57.579
but for now, he's just going to try to go in

00:38:57.579 --> 00:38:59.599
there and basically do these sort of wrestling

00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:02.500
holds and throws and maneuvers that essentially

00:39:02.500 --> 00:39:04.980
using sort of like the same sort of key features

00:39:04.980 --> 00:39:06.800
that Dance has and just kind of using this like

00:39:06.800 --> 00:39:08.840
special techniques. They're just made to knock

00:39:08.840 --> 00:39:12.539
you out. If your KO points are zero, you are

00:39:12.539 --> 00:39:15.260
out. If everyone is knocked out, The fight ends.

00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:18.019
Ramin doesn't count. He's outside the ring. So

00:39:18.019 --> 00:39:20.400
my objective is to knock the three of you, you

00:39:20.400 --> 00:39:24.380
know, totally out cold. If you receive healing,

00:39:24.559 --> 00:39:27.139
if you receive every five points you receive

00:39:27.139 --> 00:39:29.719
basically in one burst will heal one KO point.

00:39:30.460 --> 00:39:32.980
So if someone heals you for 10 damage, you heal

00:39:32.980 --> 00:39:34.679
two points. Someone heals you for nine damage,

00:39:34.820 --> 00:39:38.320
you only heal one point. Gotcha. So I know Jean

00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:41.500
has Lay on Hands, 20 points of that. Ramin has

00:39:41.500 --> 00:39:44.419
a couple of healing abilities, I believe. So

00:39:44.419 --> 00:39:48.500
Jean can heal two KO points. No, he has 20 points

00:39:48.500 --> 00:39:52.280
on hand. That would be four KO points. Oh, gotcha.

00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:54.539
Okay. Yes. I thought you said 10 to 1. Sorry,

00:39:54.559 --> 00:39:58.920
5 to 1. 5 to 1. This is a big, badass, heavy

00:39:58.920 --> 00:40:02.159
metal, heavy battle. So I'm bringing out my captain's

00:40:02.159 --> 00:40:04.360
dice for this one. Yeah, of course you are. Ooh,

00:40:04.519 --> 00:40:07.199
my new favorites. Of course you are. Sorry, Goldvain.

00:40:07.239 --> 00:40:08.519
I want to bring you out, but I don't trust you

00:40:08.519 --> 00:40:11.260
yet. Not again. We'll get there again, buddy.

00:40:11.949 --> 00:40:13.690
Let's roll for initiative, huh? Let's roll for

00:40:13.690 --> 00:40:16.030
initiative. All right. I'm going to roll Jaune

00:40:16.030 --> 00:40:21.969
first and then Blanche. Ooh, nat 20 got the yeet

00:40:21.969 --> 00:40:26.429
on the dice here from Rochelle. So natural 20,

00:40:26.570 --> 00:40:32.130
that's just a 20 for Jaune. Only a 12 for Blanche,

00:40:32.170 --> 00:40:38.210
unfortunately. Dresden got a 21. And what's Ramin's

00:40:38.210 --> 00:40:41.699
modifier for initiative? Ramin is a no, nothing.

00:40:41.880 --> 00:40:47.860
Nothing, okay. And Ramin got a 10. Okay. All

00:40:47.860 --> 00:40:50.440
right, so it's 12 for Blanche, correct? 12 for

00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:52.780
Blanche. All right, great. The Mighty Pigman

00:40:52.780 --> 00:40:56.340
got a 3. Goldvein, you're looking real attractive

00:40:56.340 --> 00:40:58.619
right now over there, buddy. Might be forgiving

00:40:58.619 --> 00:41:02.360
you very soon, Goldvein. Wow. That's all right.

00:41:02.619 --> 00:41:04.079
That's all right. These dice are just saving

00:41:04.079 --> 00:41:07.610
up so I can really hurt you. In the first round.

00:41:07.769 --> 00:41:10.690
I'm giving you a chance. A chance. Foreshit goes

00:41:10.690 --> 00:41:15.269
down. So as you stand in this music. The music

00:41:15.269 --> 00:41:19.750
is hilarious. I love it. It's so dumb. I love

00:41:19.750 --> 00:41:23.030
it so much. Dresden, as this thing kicks off,

00:41:23.210 --> 00:41:27.530
the bell rings, and you get to go first. All

00:41:27.530 --> 00:41:29.429
right. Can I see the map for a second? Oh, yes.

00:41:29.449 --> 00:41:32.989
Sorry. Okay, cool. So Dresden's going to start

00:41:32.989 --> 00:41:36.889
this off strong. And he's going to manifest his

00:41:36.889 --> 00:41:41.650
echo behind Pigman. What's the range on that?

00:41:42.429 --> 00:41:46.110
30 feet. Oh, no, it's 60 feet, isn't it? He's

00:41:46.110 --> 00:41:48.550
a little over 30 feet. You'll need to move forward

00:41:48.550 --> 00:41:51.510
about 10 feet to get that. And that's fine. That's

00:41:51.510 --> 00:41:54.250
fine. Well, actually, I mean, yeah, that's fine.

00:41:54.610 --> 00:41:56.809
So I'm going to move forward and then manifest

00:41:56.809 --> 00:41:59.369
my echo behind him. So like a shadowy, translucent

00:41:59.369 --> 00:42:01.329
form that basically looks just like you, correct?

00:42:01.570 --> 00:42:03.989
Yep. Hell yeah, just appears right behind him.

00:42:04.150 --> 00:42:08.289
What the? And question, how does dash work? Dash

00:42:08.289 --> 00:42:10.949
requires an action to move an extra 30 feet,

00:42:10.989 --> 00:42:13.269
basically. Okay, so... Where the hell did Dresden

00:42:13.269 --> 00:42:16.969
go? Yeah, you just moved Dresden and then changed

00:42:16.969 --> 00:42:19.630
color. What? But I copied in the... Oh my god,

00:42:19.710 --> 00:42:21.679
hang on. Go ahead and describe what you're doing.

00:42:21.719 --> 00:42:23.139
I'm just going to be fooling around over here

00:42:23.139 --> 00:42:26.179
for a minute. Okay, cool. I copied him again.

00:42:26.340 --> 00:42:28.800
Why? Oh, wait. You have to paste what you copy.

00:42:28.920 --> 00:42:30.820
I'm the dumbest man in the world. What did you

00:42:30.820 --> 00:42:33.559
think you had to do? I'm really tired and dumb.

00:42:34.139 --> 00:42:36.360
I don't have any rock stars right now. My power

00:42:36.360 --> 00:42:40.679
is waned. All right, so my echo is there, and

00:42:40.679 --> 00:42:43.920
I'm going to take an attack with my echo. Do

00:42:43.920 --> 00:42:48.940
I get advantage on that behind him? No. If you

00:42:48.940 --> 00:42:51.119
get up to him, you can get in flanking. But at

00:42:51.119 --> 00:42:53.800
this point, when combat starts, all sides are

00:42:53.800 --> 00:42:57.179
facing. Okay. Yeah, I'm not going to get up to

00:42:57.179 --> 00:43:00.099
him yet. Okay. But he still kind of spins around

00:43:00.099 --> 00:43:02.019
like, what? As the psycho just appears behind

00:43:02.019 --> 00:43:04.880
him. Yep. So my echo is going to take an attack.

00:43:05.719 --> 00:43:09.659
All right. That's it. That's not going to hit.

00:43:10.380 --> 00:43:14.440
17? 17. I have a feeling it's extremely fucking

00:43:14.440 --> 00:43:18.260
high. I hope that hits. We'll hit. Oh, God. Yeah,

00:43:18.360 --> 00:43:19.400
it's going to be easy to hit him. It's going

00:43:19.400 --> 00:43:20.840
to be tough to take him down. Fully unarmed.

00:43:21.460 --> 00:43:27.199
Yeah. And that's nine damage. Okay. And then

00:43:27.199 --> 00:43:31.440
I'm going to use action surge to take one additional

00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:36.260
action. Okay. In which case, Dresden is going

00:43:36.260 --> 00:43:39.719
to dash. Hang on, hang on. Wait, hang on. I might

00:43:39.719 --> 00:43:42.119
have fucked this up. One sec. Let me read. If

00:43:42.119 --> 00:43:45.099
I may offer one thing. Yes. You don't need to

00:43:45.099 --> 00:43:46.960
dash. He's actually right exactly at 30 feet.

00:43:47.340 --> 00:43:49.900
In one movement, you can reach Big Man. I just

00:43:49.900 --> 00:43:52.139
double -checked. It does seem weird. Yeah, but

00:43:52.139 --> 00:43:55.860
the thing, I'm looking to use Charger, but I've

00:43:55.860 --> 00:43:58.159
already expended my bonus action, which is the

00:43:58.159 --> 00:44:00.019
whole point of it. Oh, I see. The whole point

00:44:00.019 --> 00:44:01.519
of moving. Yeah, yeah. Okay. The whole point

00:44:01.519 --> 00:44:05.139
of dashing. Gotcha. So, fuck it. In that case,

00:44:05.199 --> 00:44:07.380
I'm just going to bring Dresden up for an attack.

00:44:07.980 --> 00:44:11.059
Okay. On the Big Man. And, yeah, you can just

00:44:11.059 --> 00:44:12.199
get right where you... With action surge, yeah.

00:44:12.999 --> 00:44:14.800
Your echo is targetable, which means you do get

00:44:14.800 --> 00:44:16.940
flanking. Oh, hell yeah. That's plus two, right?

00:44:16.940 --> 00:44:20.260
So that's plus two. Yep. Yeah, that's going to

00:44:20.260 --> 00:44:22.320
hit. It was 17 on the die. Yeah. Oh, you got

00:44:22.320 --> 00:44:24.840
him. I'm going to add up the modifiers. You got

00:44:24.840 --> 00:44:27.440
him. Going to make that pig squeal. And that's

00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:30.219
a six for damage. All right. Good opener there.

00:44:30.260 --> 00:44:32.599
Good opener. A couple good chunks out of the

00:44:32.599 --> 00:44:34.820
pig, man. And from that, we're going to hop over

00:44:34.820 --> 00:44:39.460
to Jean Franklin. Sir, what stance? Brace for

00:44:39.460 --> 00:44:45.210
riptide, Jean. And title thrust. Oh, my. And

00:44:45.210 --> 00:44:48.429
Jaune's going to move up to the pig man. He has

00:44:48.429 --> 00:44:50.809
at least 30 feet of movement, right? Yes. He

00:44:50.809 --> 00:44:52.150
can get right up in front of him. And he's just

00:44:52.150 --> 00:44:55.349
going to go for a spear attack. That's kind of

00:44:55.349 --> 00:44:58.650
just going to be mostly Jaune's bag here for

00:44:58.650 --> 00:45:01.590
this fight. So we're going to go for an attack.

00:45:01.769 --> 00:45:10.239
Plus four to hit. 18 on the die. So, 1d6 plus

00:45:10.239 --> 00:45:17.039
2. 4 damage. 4 old damage. All right. All right,

00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:20.840
John. Keep it up, buddy. Stabs him like, sorry.

00:45:21.019 --> 00:45:23.699
Just stabs into him. And, like, it's like you

00:45:23.699 --> 00:45:25.480
stab into him. He gets a good clean stab right

00:45:25.480 --> 00:45:27.519
on his, like, open abs. And I think it's just

00:45:27.519 --> 00:45:29.940
kind of like it hits his body. You get damage

00:45:29.940 --> 00:45:33.769
in, but, like. It doesn't press through the flesh

00:45:33.769 --> 00:45:36.250
very far. The tip just goes in slightly. A small

00:45:36.250 --> 00:45:38.070
trickle of blood comes out. And same with your

00:45:38.070 --> 00:45:40.849
pick. You're stabbing into him. It's just kind

00:45:40.849 --> 00:45:45.110
of like his body is so firm. And it's mostly

00:45:45.110 --> 00:45:47.309
his flexing and closing the wounds as they come

00:45:47.309 --> 00:45:51.809
up on him. He's just, oh, yeah. All right, this

00:45:51.809 --> 00:45:54.590
party's getting started. Good hit, Sean. Keep

00:45:54.590 --> 00:45:59.969
that elbow out. Yes, sir. Holy shit, yes. And

00:45:59.969 --> 00:46:03.179
that's Blanche. All right. Blanche is going to

00:46:03.179 --> 00:46:07.920
draw her sword. And as her sword leaves her sheath,

00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:12.179
she enters into blade song. The metal of the

00:46:12.179 --> 00:46:18.179
sword begins to ring and maybe sing. Holy shit.

00:46:18.340 --> 00:46:22.639
As for one minute, she gains plus four to AC.

00:46:23.219 --> 00:46:26.860
Her walking speed increases by 10. And she has

00:46:26.860 --> 00:46:29.719
advantage on acrobatic checks. Holy shit. And

00:46:29.719 --> 00:46:33.280
plus four bonus to any con saving throw. You

00:46:33.280 --> 00:46:35.900
have advantage on athletics and acrobatics? That's

00:46:35.900 --> 00:46:39.800
incredible. Advantage on acrobatics, plus four

00:46:39.800 --> 00:46:43.820
to con to maintain concentration. All sorts of

00:46:43.820 --> 00:46:46.340
great stuff. Also, don't forget that you have

00:46:46.340 --> 00:46:48.079
shield of faith, which adds another plus two

00:46:48.079 --> 00:46:52.179
to your AC. Oh my gosh. So right now, base AC,

00:46:52.460 --> 00:46:57.820
23. Holy shit. This is the first round of combat

00:46:57.820 --> 00:47:00.420
we've ever seen Blanche sort of engage in. Yeah.

00:47:00.539 --> 00:47:02.480
And already Blanche is coming off so strong,

00:47:02.639 --> 00:47:07.219
so wild. This is, oh, man. And let me, okay.

00:47:07.659 --> 00:47:11.599
She's going to move up to the pig man and roll

00:47:11.599 --> 00:47:15.380
an attack. All right. So you have extra speed.

00:47:16.139 --> 00:47:17.780
This area in front of you is sort of covered.

00:47:17.860 --> 00:47:19.679
So do you want to move to the right or left?

00:47:20.440 --> 00:47:21.699
Actually, you can probably move a token, can't

00:47:21.699 --> 00:47:24.719
you? I can move that token, yeah. Actually, whoa.

00:47:24.760 --> 00:47:26.940
No, I can't. Oh, my God. You doubled the size

00:47:26.940 --> 00:47:31.480
of the token. I love that. Oh, yeah. There you

00:47:31.480 --> 00:47:33.360
go. Sorry. There's control. You know what? Just

00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:36.440
move me here. Move me here. Oh, so you move kind

00:47:36.440 --> 00:47:40.039
of like behind him a bit. Yeah. So when or if

00:47:40.039 --> 00:47:43.639
the echo disappears, then we can still get flanking

00:47:43.639 --> 00:47:48.400
is my thought there. All right. Going to go in

00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:51.380
for a... Sword swing, that's really all I can

00:47:51.380 --> 00:47:55.320
do right now. So immediately, Pigman's sort of

00:47:55.320 --> 00:47:57.079
four -corner as you guys are just all around

00:47:57.079 --> 00:48:03.079
him. It's just a nine. Nine will not hit. Okay.

00:48:03.820 --> 00:48:06.420
Oh, man, Blanche. What a sucky character that's

00:48:06.420 --> 00:48:09.260
bad. Oh, man. Reminds me of another sucky bad

00:48:09.260 --> 00:48:11.699
character we once had in this show. Kind of reminds

00:48:11.699 --> 00:48:13.699
me of that. So you just go in, and I think at

00:48:13.699 --> 00:48:14.980
this point he's kind of engaged in the fight,

00:48:15.099 --> 00:48:17.219
and he just kind of sort of weaves out of the

00:48:17.219 --> 00:48:19.860
way, surprisingly nimble for his size. Ho -ho!

00:48:20.360 --> 00:48:23.039
Not so used to the big body, huh? Hey, it takes

00:48:23.039 --> 00:48:25.219
some time. You'll get there. Nice move, pig man,

00:48:25.320 --> 00:48:29.059
but I'll get you next round. All right! So friendly.

00:48:30.119 --> 00:48:32.659
That's Ramin. Ramin is free to move anywhere

00:48:32.659 --> 00:48:35.320
outside the arena, just not inside at all. Ramin

00:48:35.320 --> 00:48:38.150
is going to hold for right now. Okay. Do you

00:48:38.150 --> 00:48:39.190
want to stay in the same spot, or do you want

00:48:39.190 --> 00:48:40.750
to start moving back closer to where you guys

00:48:40.750 --> 00:48:43.670
are at? Yeah, he's going to move toward the group.

00:48:43.909 --> 00:48:46.849
Okay. He's going to kind of go around the ring

00:48:46.849 --> 00:48:50.050
as the group moves around. Double move, maybe?

00:48:50.949 --> 00:48:52.469
Can I make it all the way around if I double

00:48:52.469 --> 00:48:55.309
move? Yes, you can make it up to the top corner,

00:48:55.389 --> 00:48:56.969
kind of right beside, about 10 feet away from

00:48:56.969 --> 00:48:58.920
everybody. Yep. All right. So he just, like,

00:48:58.920 --> 00:49:01.400
rounds the whole thing, sort of running. Even

00:49:01.400 --> 00:49:03.139
this is, like, hard for him in his current state.

00:49:03.699 --> 00:49:06.460
Poor Rami. He's so sick. He's, like, sort of

00:49:06.460 --> 00:49:08.380
has one hand on the rope, sort of leaning. All

00:49:08.380 --> 00:49:14.000
right. I'm here, too. Good luck. And now I get

00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:18.619
to go. All right. First things first. Yeah. I

00:49:18.619 --> 00:49:20.860
want to open this fight strong, right? Okay.

00:49:20.920 --> 00:49:23.820
I want to open this fight as strong as I can.

00:49:24.619 --> 00:49:26.679
So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to

00:49:26.679 --> 00:49:30.869
allow. Dresden, Jean Franklin, and Marge Simpson

00:49:30.869 --> 00:49:34.329
to take an attack of opportunity on me. I refuse.

00:49:34.710 --> 00:49:37.469
What? Blanche will not be taking an attack of

00:49:37.469 --> 00:49:39.610
opportunity. Interesting. Okay. Huh. Do you guys

00:49:39.610 --> 00:49:44.250
want your attacks? Jean does. All right. Sure.

00:49:44.409 --> 00:49:47.750
Yeah. Jean will take his. Dresden won't. Okay.

00:49:48.150 --> 00:49:52.030
Because it's an odd thing. Okay. It's an odd

00:49:52.030 --> 00:49:54.329
thing. You're not used to an opponent that just

00:49:54.329 --> 00:49:56.449
does this. Like he just kind of casually almost

00:49:56.449 --> 00:49:59.050
like sort of steps away. He recognizes that and

00:49:59.050 --> 00:50:01.809
is just waiting to see what's happening. That's

00:50:01.809 --> 00:50:07.010
an 11. 11 will not hit. Damn. So you see he kind

00:50:07.010 --> 00:50:09.889
of like looks at it just like, all right, you

00:50:09.889 --> 00:50:11.869
guys are giving me a good show. I'm about to

00:50:11.869 --> 00:50:14.789
give you a good show too. And he sort of moves

00:50:14.789 --> 00:50:18.260
away from you. And you see he just climbs onto

00:50:18.260 --> 00:50:20.340
the support pillow that's right next to you guys,

00:50:20.380 --> 00:50:21.980
kind of like immediately just hops up on there,

00:50:22.099 --> 00:50:24.739
kind of standing. It's comically small under

00:50:24.739 --> 00:50:26.639
his, like, huge feet. He kind of just, like,

00:50:26.679 --> 00:50:29.440
bends his knees a little bit. In the corner,

00:50:29.539 --> 00:50:33.000
Hector kind of, like, mouthful of churros. Pigs

00:50:33.000 --> 00:50:38.980
fly. It is a run. And the pig man just kind of

00:50:38.980 --> 00:50:43.019
like, oh, yeah, let's do this. And he's going

00:50:43.019 --> 00:50:46.480
to use when pigs fly. What the fuck is that?

00:50:46.699 --> 00:50:49.460
I'm going to jump off the ring, and I'm going

00:50:49.460 --> 00:50:51.800
to jump right onto the space where Dresden and

00:50:51.800 --> 00:50:54.739
Jean Franklin currently occupy. Oh, my God. I

00:50:54.739 --> 00:50:57.699
need both of you. Come on. I need both of you

00:50:57.699 --> 00:51:03.400
to make Dexterity Saving Throw. Aha. It's just

00:51:03.400 --> 00:51:06.239
a straight -up D20 roll for Jean. This great

00:51:06.239 --> 00:51:09.199
shadow covers over your body, Jean. As this huge

00:51:09.199 --> 00:51:13.099
form comes crashing down over you. Just an eight

00:51:13.099 --> 00:51:15.099
for Jean. I don't think it's going to cut it.

00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:19.199
It's a 13 for Dresden. Not quite going to make

00:51:19.199 --> 00:51:23.300
it. Son of a bitch. So as the pig man's massive,

00:51:23.380 --> 00:51:26.480
meaty body comes slamming down on top of you,

00:51:26.539 --> 00:51:28.480
you're both, boom, sort of rolled backwards,

00:51:28.699 --> 00:51:32.079
sort of knocked to the side. Both Jean Franklin

00:51:32.079 --> 00:51:37.840
and Dresden are knocked prone, and I'm going

00:51:37.840 --> 00:51:41.980
to roll some KO damage. That's only one for Jean

00:51:41.980 --> 00:51:46.400
Franklin. And four for Dresden. Ooh, boy. Sorry,

00:51:46.619 --> 00:51:49.820
he's got 13 total. Hell yeah, so you're down

00:51:49.820 --> 00:51:52.480
to nine now. Yeah, I think Jaune, like, almost,

00:51:52.519 --> 00:51:55.619
like, moves. Maybe you, like, I almost like to

00:51:55.619 --> 00:51:56.920
imagine Dresden sort of, like, sees this happening

00:51:56.920 --> 00:51:58.579
and, like, pushes Jaune, so, like, he takes a

00:51:58.579 --> 00:52:00.340
lesser hit, and Dresden takes the more wham,

00:52:00.360 --> 00:52:03.039
like, the heavier blow as this thing comes crashing

00:52:03.039 --> 00:52:06.099
down on you. You get rolling back. You're prone.

00:52:06.420 --> 00:52:08.079
You take that damage, and the pig man's just

00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:14.019
laughing. Oh, yeah! And just gets back up. And

00:52:14.019 --> 00:52:18.610
that is going to be my turn. Yes, because I won't

00:52:18.610 --> 00:52:20.210
be able to use that off of that. Darn it. That's

00:52:20.210 --> 00:52:23.550
fine. That's fine. Yeah, that's all I do. And

00:52:23.550 --> 00:52:25.889
with that, top of the round with Dresden, who

00:52:25.889 --> 00:52:27.949
just took a pretty nasty blow and is now lying

00:52:27.949 --> 00:52:30.110
on the ground like, damn. What is it, half movement?

00:52:31.150 --> 00:52:32.590
Yeah, you have to move him to stand up. Cool.

00:52:32.809 --> 00:52:35.170
He's going to stand up. You just jump back to

00:52:35.170 --> 00:52:37.090
your feet. What does that mean for his echo?

00:52:38.329 --> 00:52:40.030
I believe you share movement with your echo?

00:52:40.429 --> 00:52:43.190
No. You don't? No. Okay, then yeah, it's fine.

00:52:43.349 --> 00:52:47.019
It's nothing. Cool. Your echo is not prone. So

00:52:47.019 --> 00:52:49.699
if he came down, if he jumped off of there, is

00:52:49.699 --> 00:52:54.539
he now lying on the ground? He got back up. That's

00:52:54.539 --> 00:52:55.719
just kind of more of like a butt thing. It's

00:52:55.719 --> 00:52:57.400
like, whoop -boom! And he just kind of hops out

00:52:57.400 --> 00:52:58.800
real quick. That's sort of part of the move.

00:52:59.019 --> 00:53:00.300
Okay. Well, I'm going to do the same thing. I'm

00:53:00.300 --> 00:53:01.780
going to command my Echo to the other side of

00:53:01.780 --> 00:53:04.760
him. Okay. And so we get flanking. So your Echo's

00:53:04.760 --> 00:53:08.900
standing over the prone Jaune. Yes. Yes. I just

00:53:08.900 --> 00:53:10.960
want to get flanking. Didn't add flanking. Damn

00:53:10.960 --> 00:53:14.739
it. Oh, shit. Oh, well. My bad. I'm going to

00:53:14.739 --> 00:53:17.159
go in from, I guess it doesn't matter which one

00:53:17.159 --> 00:53:24.500
I do it. That's a 17 to hit. 17 will hit. I know

00:53:24.500 --> 00:53:27.380
it will. That's what I got last time. That's

00:53:27.380 --> 00:53:29.840
fair. Why'd you wait for me to say that? And

00:53:29.840 --> 00:53:32.579
that's an 11 for damage. Ooh, that's pretty good.

00:53:32.800 --> 00:53:37.099
All right. Damn. Nice slice, soldier boy. Ooh,

00:53:37.239 --> 00:53:40.139
wow, I felt that one. I've had a bit of training.

00:53:40.460 --> 00:53:44.989
I can see that. Hell yeah. And that's Dresden.

00:53:45.090 --> 00:53:49.030
We're moving on to Jean Franklin. I love the

00:53:49.030 --> 00:53:52.949
turtle on his shell. Trying to roll his way up.

00:53:53.050 --> 00:53:56.670
He's right there, though. So he stands up and

00:53:56.670 --> 00:54:01.650
goes for a spear attack. Holy shit. I just got

00:54:01.650 --> 00:54:05.769
slammed by the pig man. 18 on the die. That's

00:54:05.769 --> 00:54:07.849
going to hit. He's just laughing as he goes.

00:54:07.889 --> 00:54:11.130
And Jean's on a blast right now. Yeah. Five damage.

00:54:11.820 --> 00:54:16.340
Five Dimage. Okay. All right, cool. And that's

00:54:16.340 --> 00:54:20.360
old Blanchy Blanch. All right. Old buff giant

00:54:20.360 --> 00:54:26.460
Marge Simpson. As a bonus action. Buff giant

00:54:26.460 --> 00:54:31.159
sexy Marge Simpson. As a bonus action, Blanch

00:54:31.159 --> 00:54:36.340
is going to cast Shadow Blade. Her sword becomes

00:54:36.340 --> 00:54:42.360
darker, and when she moves it, A shadow sort

00:54:42.360 --> 00:54:45.079
of follows behind it. And she's going to go in

00:54:45.079 --> 00:54:48.920
for an attack roll. In attack roll. Excuse me.

00:54:49.099 --> 00:54:51.820
Can I? I totally forgot something very important.

00:54:52.400 --> 00:54:54.239
I forgot to use my legendary action at the end

00:54:54.239 --> 00:54:56.780
of Jean Franklin's turn. I forgot flanking. Will

00:54:56.780 --> 00:54:58.579
you allow me? It wouldn't have mattered. Would

00:54:58.579 --> 00:55:02.139
you allow me to take this legendary action? Sure.

00:55:02.300 --> 00:55:04.280
Otherwise, I will not hit my quota for the round,

00:55:04.360 --> 00:55:06.619
and that would be very sad. So you will accept

00:55:06.619 --> 00:55:09.840
this bargain? I'll be allowing for you later

00:55:09.840 --> 00:55:12.000
on. I'll be allowing for you later on. Yeah,

00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:14.079
of course. As I do. I just don't want to miss

00:55:14.079 --> 00:55:15.639
anything. I don't want to miss using any of my

00:55:15.639 --> 00:55:19.860
awesome abilities as the pig man. So, I'll say

00:55:19.860 --> 00:55:21.320
right now, you're not quite within five feet,

00:55:21.420 --> 00:55:23.880
sexy giant buff Marge Simpson. So, I'm going

00:55:23.880 --> 00:55:26.000
to turn towards these three figures, the shadow

00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:31.659
included. No. I'll roll a d4. Four was nobody.

00:55:31.980 --> 00:55:37.199
Let's try this again. Two is Jean. I'm going

00:55:37.199 --> 00:55:39.559
to grapple Jean. Okay. So, we're going to roll.

00:55:39.949 --> 00:55:42.650
A contested athletics check to see if I can grapple

00:55:42.650 --> 00:55:45.110
him. All right. I think Jaune has a plus two

00:55:45.110 --> 00:55:48.309
athletics, maybe? Yeah, plus two. Good luck.

00:55:49.170 --> 00:55:52.829
11. 18. So Jaune has grappled. He just kind of

00:55:52.829 --> 00:55:55.110
reaches down and grabs him. You also can use

00:55:55.110 --> 00:55:57.710
acrobatics to contest these, by the way. So it

00:55:57.710 --> 00:55:59.130
wouldn't matter for him because his athletics

00:55:59.130 --> 00:56:01.010
is better, but just so you know. So he's going

00:56:01.010 --> 00:56:02.230
to grab. He just kind of reaches over and grabs

00:56:02.230 --> 00:56:04.590
him. He basically just has a hand on him right

00:56:04.590 --> 00:56:06.530
now. It's nothing too crazy. His speed is zero.

00:56:06.570 --> 00:56:09.480
That's the only really effect this has. Now go.

00:56:09.900 --> 00:56:13.139
Sorry. Okay. There's really nothing I can do

00:56:13.139 --> 00:56:16.079
to help Jean, I don't think. But blah, blah,

00:56:16.099 --> 00:56:18.980
blah, bonus action, whatever, dark sword spell,

00:56:19.159 --> 00:56:24.400
and step in, long sword attack. All right. So,

00:56:24.460 --> 00:56:26.480
again, just four quarters of the big man. He's

00:56:26.480 --> 00:56:28.679
turned towards the way. Got one arm on Jean.

00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:36.440
What do you got? Natural one. Natural one. Natural.

00:56:37.339 --> 00:56:39.760
Fucking one. How is it statistically possible

00:56:39.760 --> 00:56:43.400
to rule this many natural ones? Oh, man. Natural

00:56:43.400 --> 00:56:46.860
one. That's the story of this campaign. I think

00:56:46.860 --> 00:56:49.239
I want to do something with this one. Jeez. But

00:56:49.239 --> 00:56:50.840
I don't know what I can do with you right now.

00:56:51.519 --> 00:56:53.519
There's nothing apparent that I can do. It's

00:56:53.519 --> 00:56:55.139
like, oh, I can have your trip. It's just not

00:56:55.139 --> 00:56:57.840
fun for me. So, like, eh, ignore the one. There's

00:56:57.840 --> 00:56:59.599
nothing exciting I can do with it. Yeah, yeah,

00:56:59.800 --> 00:57:02.780
yeah, yeah. You're not used to your big body.

00:57:03.099 --> 00:57:04.920
It's weird being big. Sure. You're trying to

00:57:04.920 --> 00:57:05.960
reach out. You're trying to hit, and it's just

00:57:05.960 --> 00:57:08.500
like, oh, my gosh. The sword's really small in

00:57:08.500 --> 00:57:11.079
her hand. The balance is off. Hey, the sword

00:57:11.079 --> 00:57:13.460
goes with you. I love canonically the idea that

00:57:13.460 --> 00:57:15.239
it doesn't for some reason. Okay, that's fine.

00:57:15.239 --> 00:57:18.400
She's trying to stab him with this tiny sword.

00:57:19.420 --> 00:57:21.719
This is the baddest animation. This sword goes

00:57:21.719 --> 00:57:24.320
black, and we zoom out, and it's like the size

00:57:24.320 --> 00:57:25.739
of your finger. It's like one of those little

00:57:25.739 --> 00:57:27.519
cocktail swords you get at a Chinese restaurant.

00:57:29.819 --> 00:57:32.440
Oh, my God. All right. So, yeah, you try to stab

00:57:32.440 --> 00:57:35.039
out and, again, just like, whoop, hey, nice try.

00:57:36.260 --> 00:57:39.000
And he just has an arm on Jean. Is that your

00:57:39.000 --> 00:57:41.599
turn? Yeah, that's my turn. This is horrible.

00:57:41.880 --> 00:57:44.260
Jean's there just like, uh -oh, as another arm

00:57:44.260 --> 00:57:45.820
reaches down to grab him. I'm going to try to

00:57:45.820 --> 00:57:50.500
pin Jean. Another check. Don't bother. It's nat

00:57:50.500 --> 00:57:53.699
20. You can't possibly beat me. Okay, cool. Jean

00:57:53.699 --> 00:57:56.079
is incredibly pinned. Okay. So fucking pinned.

00:57:56.139 --> 00:57:58.119
Fucking hell. He just grabs Jaune, and he's like

00:57:58.119 --> 00:58:00.139
pretty much lifted Jaune off the ground. He's

00:58:00.139 --> 00:58:03.579
got one leg under, one over. Right now, Jaune

00:58:03.579 --> 00:58:05.599
and the pigman are both considered restrained,

00:58:05.619 --> 00:58:07.400
which means you have advantage on attacks against

00:58:07.400 --> 00:58:10.500
the pigman. Okay. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. I

00:58:10.500 --> 00:58:13.360
could use advantage, so that's good. You're going

00:58:13.360 --> 00:58:16.380
to need it. Over there, Blanche, with your giant

00:58:16.380 --> 00:58:19.019
buff body you can't control. With my big, big

00:58:19.019 --> 00:58:22.940
failure. And that's Ramin. All right. Ramin.

00:58:24.639 --> 00:58:28.619
is going to cast Guiding Bolt. Ooh, all right.

00:58:28.980 --> 00:58:32.380
Onto the pig man. I need to make a ranged spell

00:58:32.380 --> 00:58:36.139
attack on a hit. The target takes 4d6 radiant

00:58:36.139 --> 00:58:41.119
damage. Okay. And the next attack roll has advantage.

00:58:41.460 --> 00:58:43.239
So it'll be a plus two, which will add to his

00:58:43.239 --> 00:58:45.619
restraint. Which that wouldn't, it's only until

00:58:45.619 --> 00:58:48.579
the end of, oh, until the end of my next turn.

00:58:48.860 --> 00:58:51.739
Ramin's turn. Yeah. The next turn, which means

00:58:51.739 --> 00:58:54.480
everybody going forward... When this hits, it

00:58:54.480 --> 00:58:56.699
essentially draws this almost like holy light,

00:58:56.760 --> 00:58:59.400
almost a target. Right. So what you're saying

00:58:59.400 --> 00:59:01.179
is that everybody's going to get advantage on

00:59:01.179 --> 00:59:03.659
this. It'll work for one attack after this, but

00:59:03.659 --> 00:59:05.860
basically... Yeah, you're right. On the next

00:59:05.860 --> 00:59:07.980
attack. But I misread that. I thought it had

00:59:07.980 --> 00:59:10.070
to be Ramin's attack. Yeah. I'm like, oh, no,

00:59:10.110 --> 00:59:12.090
I just used up an action. Guiding Bolt is great.

00:59:12.750 --> 00:59:15.230
It's great. Cool. Because I'm restrained, you

00:59:15.230 --> 00:59:16.449
have advantage anyway, so this is going to give

00:59:16.449 --> 00:59:19.210
me advantage plus two. And if you have flanking,

00:59:19.250 --> 00:59:21.190
that's another plus two. So the next attack on

00:59:21.190 --> 00:59:22.789
the pig man, if you've landed this, it's going

00:59:22.789 --> 00:59:24.730
to be advantage plus four. Holy shit. Because

00:59:24.730 --> 00:59:26.750
that's how bonus stacking works. So does Ramin

00:59:26.750 --> 00:59:31.829
get advantage on this ranged spell? Yes. Actually,

00:59:31.909 --> 00:59:34.789
at least if a ranged works with restrained. It's

00:59:34.789 --> 00:59:36.030
a very good question. I want to make sure I'm

00:59:36.030 --> 00:59:38.619
right about this. Yes, Restrained will give you

00:59:38.619 --> 00:59:41.820
advantage on this. Sweet. All right, let's go.

00:59:42.199 --> 00:59:45.119
What's his modifier for a ranged spell? His modifier

00:59:45.119 --> 00:59:50.199
is a plus five, I believe. Holy shit. Dang, plus

00:59:50.199 --> 00:59:52.519
five with advantage? With advantage. Which seems

00:59:52.519 --> 00:59:54.679
crazy. No, yeah, he has a 16 charisma. Yeah,

00:59:54.699 --> 00:59:58.480
plus five. And the flanking, right? No, not with

00:59:58.480 --> 01:00:01.320
a ranged. Oh, shit, ranged. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:00:02.159 --> 01:00:08.539
19. That'll hit. 4d6. Oh, man. Give me those

01:00:08.539 --> 01:00:10.800
d6s. So the pig man's just kind of like picking

01:00:10.800 --> 01:00:14.139
up Jaune, sort of like, and just starts blasting.

01:00:15.820 --> 01:00:18.480
Jaune's just over there like, help, help, somebody

01:00:18.480 --> 01:00:21.559
help. Ramin's, yes, here we go, and just blasts.

01:00:21.599 --> 01:00:24.920
That is 17 radiant damage. All right, there we

01:00:24.920 --> 01:00:27.500
go. Not bad. And whatever the next attack is,

01:00:27.780 --> 01:00:31.019
yes, next attack roll has advantage. That's,

01:00:31.019 --> 01:00:32.280
yeah, so it's going to be advantage and a plus

01:00:32.280 --> 01:00:35.159
two as long as I'm restrained. Yep. Restrained

01:00:35.159 --> 01:00:36.800
and flanking. I'm going to do my third legendary

01:00:36.800 --> 01:00:40.059
action now with the pig man. As, you know, he

01:00:40.059 --> 01:00:42.460
hits him. Like, ah, did they get him? Are you

01:00:42.460 --> 01:00:45.840
down? There's sort of divine mist clears in John's.

01:00:45.860 --> 01:00:49.099
Ah! The pig man starts to sort of turn him around

01:00:49.099 --> 01:00:52.199
into a position. And let me see. Let me see here.

01:00:53.139 --> 01:00:56.619
Yeah, let's do the good old pig pile driver.

01:00:57.039 --> 01:01:00.099
Oh, my God. Oh, God. John's out. John's upside

01:01:00.099 --> 01:01:02.639
down as the pig man just goes, oh, yeah, and

01:01:02.639 --> 01:01:05.099
just, like, jumps down and brings John Franklin

01:01:05.099 --> 01:01:08.000
down hard sort of on his head. Oh, no. I need

01:01:08.000 --> 01:01:12.019
a constitution save. Holy shit. He's got 16 cons,

01:01:12.199 --> 01:01:13.619
so. This is where you're going to see what pig

01:01:13.619 --> 01:01:16.019
man can do. If I have somebody fully pinned,

01:01:16.199 --> 01:01:18.460
then I can start using legendary actions to do

01:01:18.460 --> 01:01:21.239
wrestling throws, and those are going to be bad

01:01:21.239 --> 01:01:24.269
for you. Oh, he doesn't have a bonus to the saving

01:01:24.269 --> 01:01:26.510
throw. I think he might. Hang on. Let me see

01:01:26.510 --> 01:01:28.190
real quick. Under saving throws, it just lists

01:01:28.190 --> 01:01:31.550
strength and charisma. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he doesn't

01:01:31.550 --> 01:01:34.329
have con. Wow. Straight up D20. Yeah, he's a

01:01:34.329 --> 01:01:36.050
paladin. Strength and charisma. He's so fucked.

01:01:37.070 --> 01:01:40.429
Shit. He has a plus three. It's going to be a

01:01:40.429 --> 01:01:43.329
still as con stat. That's just a 13. 13 will

01:01:43.329 --> 01:01:48.190
not cut it. Oh, my God. Hold on. Did he have

01:01:48.190 --> 01:01:54.199
guidance? No. Not safe. Yeah. Ah, shit. It's

01:01:54.199 --> 01:01:56.599
literally like only specifically for ability

01:01:56.599 --> 01:01:59.760
checks. Bless would give you saves. I can't get

01:01:59.760 --> 01:02:05.280
Bless out of my... Anyway, it's not Bless. Maybe

01:02:05.280 --> 01:02:07.659
next round. Not too bad. That's three points

01:02:07.659 --> 01:02:12.000
of KO damage as he just comes wham down. That's

01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:14.179
not bad. Yeah, but he's not down to 12, I believe.

01:02:14.280 --> 01:02:18.059
He is the highest. He has 16 cons, so not too,

01:02:18.059 --> 01:02:23.340
too bad. And just, all right. Jean's kind of

01:02:23.340 --> 01:02:28.719
dizzy. Pigman's turn now. So, let's see. I've

01:02:28.719 --> 01:02:32.619
got Jean grappled. Let's try this. Go for the

01:02:32.619 --> 01:02:36.139
old, who's behind me? Blanche is behind me. All

01:02:36.139 --> 01:02:39.460
right, Blanche. I'm going to attempt to shove

01:02:39.460 --> 01:02:42.909
you. So John's holding one hand. He takes the

01:02:42.909 --> 01:02:44.170
other hand and just goes wham and starts trying

01:02:44.170 --> 01:02:46.070
to shove Blanche. This is going to be an athletics

01:02:46.070 --> 01:02:47.969
check versus either athletics or acrobatics,

01:02:47.969 --> 01:02:51.170
I believe. Jeez. Is my DC going to come into

01:02:51.170 --> 01:02:54.690
play at all here? That's why I was kind of cocky

01:02:54.690 --> 01:02:57.329
before this because I knew you were going to

01:02:57.329 --> 01:02:59.489
build your AC. It does matter in some cases,

01:02:59.550 --> 01:03:01.550
but I also have a lot of abilities that are going

01:03:01.550 --> 01:03:04.530
to be grapple and shove based. Okay. You said

01:03:04.530 --> 01:03:08.420
what skills did you say? You can use your acrobatics

01:03:08.420 --> 01:03:11.000
or athletics to counter my athletics. That's

01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:13.199
great because I have advantage on acrobatics

01:03:13.199 --> 01:03:15.219
right now. Yeah, that's good. That's real good.

01:03:17.099 --> 01:03:22.880
I rolled very high. Dirty 20. 25. Holy shit.

01:03:24.199 --> 01:03:26.159
Here's what's going to happen. He's going to

01:03:26.159 --> 01:03:28.440
spin around. I'm going to do a little ability

01:03:28.440 --> 01:03:34.190
I like to call boink. We're going to lose. Full

01:03:34.190 --> 01:03:36.849
open hand. Boom. Power shoves you back. Let's

01:03:36.849 --> 01:03:39.789
throw it over his shoulder. You go bouncing back

01:03:39.789 --> 01:03:41.889
against the ropes. And you just make a strength

01:03:41.889 --> 01:03:43.610
saving throw. You're going right back to the

01:03:43.610 --> 01:03:46.030
pig man. And you don't want that to happen. Fuck.

01:03:46.550 --> 01:03:47.929
Hold on. Let me just make sure. You have advantage

01:03:47.929 --> 01:03:49.389
on strength saving throws because you're big.

01:03:49.929 --> 01:03:52.230
Okay, yes, that's it. So you're trying to, like,

01:03:52.250 --> 01:03:54.829
grit down and, like, stop the momentum from you

01:03:54.829 --> 01:03:56.150
bringing it back, trying to push your feet down

01:03:56.150 --> 01:03:58.130
to, like, hold against this, like, powerful momentum

01:03:58.130 --> 01:03:59.809
of being launched back by the ropes. Yeah. Can

01:03:59.809 --> 01:04:03.150
we go over one more time the advantages I get

01:04:03.150 --> 01:04:06.630
from being big? You get an extra d4 to your damage.

01:04:06.650 --> 01:04:09.289
Your weight is increased. Basically, you get

01:04:09.289 --> 01:04:11.250
advantage on strength checks and strength saving

01:04:11.250 --> 01:04:14.590
throws. Technically, your weapons also grow to

01:04:14.590 --> 01:04:17.699
match your size. Spider jokes. And they deal

01:04:17.699 --> 01:04:19.420
extra 1d4 damage. And those are kind of the main

01:04:19.420 --> 01:04:21.420
things. You're also just considered large, so

01:04:21.420 --> 01:04:23.800
you take up a 10 -foot square instead of a 5

01:04:23.800 --> 01:04:26.179
-foot. Okay. I penciled those down because I

01:04:26.179 --> 01:04:28.260
already forgot them. Your weight and size are

01:04:28.260 --> 01:04:29.539
increased. I don't think weight matters terribly

01:04:29.539 --> 01:04:31.400
for what we're doing right now. Right. I think

01:04:31.400 --> 01:04:32.820
the shove action is going to happen regardless.

01:04:32.880 --> 01:04:34.360
You can shove a creature your size. So it's really

01:04:34.360 --> 01:04:37.260
just the extra d4 damage advantage on strength

01:04:37.260 --> 01:04:39.260
checks and strength saves. So I'm going to get

01:04:39.260 --> 01:04:41.559
advantage on this strength saving roll. Yes.

01:04:41.559 --> 01:04:46.179
It's huge. It's huge. Okay. Roll it in the box,

01:04:46.320 --> 01:04:53.420
you barbarian. I'm trying. I know. I think it

01:04:53.420 --> 01:04:56.699
almost crit, and it rolled off a crit into a

01:04:56.699 --> 01:04:59.400
14. Oh, no. I thought that was an oof. No, no,

01:04:59.440 --> 01:05:01.400
no. That was a yeet. Oh, that was a yeet. Oh.

01:05:02.079 --> 01:05:04.539
14. See, I'm just so used to seeing the oof,

01:05:04.559 --> 01:05:07.179
I immediately think that a word is oof, not yeet.

01:05:07.320 --> 01:05:09.360
14 is just barely not going to cut it for us.

01:05:09.360 --> 01:05:12.059
Oh, my God. So what's going to happen now, I'm

01:05:12.059 --> 01:05:15.210
going to take my reaction. to make a free attack

01:05:15.210 --> 01:05:17.869
at advantage against you. I'll hit you with an

01:05:17.869 --> 01:05:24.230
old pork chop. Oh, my God. Here we go. Will a

01:05:24.230 --> 01:05:27.010
15 hit? I'm probably going to use... Oh, yeah,

01:05:27.090 --> 01:05:29.710
no. That actually rolled pretty low. Yeah. What

01:05:29.710 --> 01:05:32.190
are you going to use? When you make an attack

01:05:32.190 --> 01:05:35.969
against me... Don't say anything? Well, that's

01:05:35.969 --> 01:05:39.250
the thing. Do I get a chance to use my reaction

01:05:39.250 --> 01:05:44.699
before or after you tell me to hit? You get to

01:05:44.699 --> 01:05:46.840
hear it before I tell you to hit. Or after, I

01:05:46.840 --> 01:05:48.539
mean. If I tell you to hit, you can use, if you

01:05:48.539 --> 01:05:49.940
have something like parry, you can use that after

01:05:49.940 --> 01:05:51.280
you know it's going to hit. That's what I thought.

01:05:51.679 --> 01:05:54.340
Yeah. But 15 doesn't come close. Okay, yeah.

01:05:54.440 --> 01:05:56.139
Oh, so that's one thing. It's like you come back

01:05:56.139 --> 01:05:58.119
and you've got this barrier. You're in your sword

01:05:58.119 --> 01:05:59.559
stance. What's it look like when you avoid? He

01:05:59.559 --> 01:06:01.360
goes to hit you. Oh, wait. Sorry. I have advantage.

01:06:01.559 --> 01:06:02.739
You have advantage. It's not going to really

01:06:02.739 --> 01:06:05.460
matter. Okay, this actually might matter because

01:06:05.460 --> 01:06:08.900
that's going to be a 25. Then I will use my reaction

01:06:08.900 --> 01:06:14.440
and... Oh, yes. As a reaction, Blanche casts

01:06:14.440 --> 01:06:18.719
Shield. Oh, my gosh. For an extra, what is it,

01:06:18.780 --> 01:06:22.679
four or five AC, I think? Holy shit. So, yeah,

01:06:22.760 --> 01:06:24.940
so I go in for, like, this chop as you come sliding

01:06:24.940 --> 01:06:26.659
back towards me, unable to control yourself.

01:06:26.719 --> 01:06:29.199
You're heading right into me. Jean -Francois

01:06:29.199 --> 01:06:32.980
just, sa, sa, no! As I'm going in with this massive,

01:06:33.059 --> 01:06:36.280
meaty, sort of cleaver hand, chop to the neck.

01:06:36.360 --> 01:06:39.760
And what's it look like when you stop this? Quicker

01:06:39.760 --> 01:06:44.909
than... Even Pigman can perceive Blanche's blade

01:06:44.909 --> 01:06:49.949
shoots up across the top of her head and blocks

01:06:49.949 --> 01:06:54.289
Pigman's arm as it comes down. Holy shit! I imagine,

01:06:54.349 --> 01:06:55.949
like, you say your blade's, like, sinking. It

01:06:55.949 --> 01:06:59.039
must hit. I imagine it's like... Like a singing

01:06:59.039 --> 01:07:04.739
of metal as this hand strikes metal. Holy shit.

01:07:04.920 --> 01:07:08.699
A metallic song just echoes across the ring.

01:07:08.920 --> 01:07:11.099
His hand is like blasted away. He kind of takes

01:07:11.099 --> 01:07:14.179
a surprise step back and like looks down at this

01:07:14.179 --> 01:07:21.940
and just kind of. Oh, yeah. I'm getting excited.

01:07:22.760 --> 01:07:25.699
And he goes into a rage. Oh, no. And we'll call

01:07:25.699 --> 01:07:26.860
it there. Oh, no.