WEBVTT 00:00:01.929 --> 00:00:04.610 This week's episode is coming right up, but first, 00:00:04.730 --> 00:00:06.730 just take a minute to listen to a message from 00:00:06.730 --> 00:00:10.609 our friends at Hammer of the Gods. This is Dungeon 00:00:10.609 --> 00:00:12.730 Master Rick here with Hammer of the Gods. Do 00:00:12.730 --> 00:00:16.109 you enjoy socially awkward bards? I pull out 00:00:16.109 --> 00:00:19.210 50 gold and I put it in the guard's hand and 00:00:19.210 --> 00:00:22.589 say, can I go see the snakes now? Dungeons and 00:00:22.589 --> 00:00:25.690 Dragons? And mildly inappropriate humor? Haha, 00:00:25.850 --> 00:00:29.480 looks like Daniel's our new DM. Hi, Daddy. Did 00:00:29.480 --> 00:00:31.260 you just call me daddy? I've been here for 10 00:00:31.260 --> 00:00:32.799 seconds and we're already jumping straight to 00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:35.899 daddy. All right. And epic fantasy combined with 00:00:35.899 --> 00:00:39.619 alternate history and a splash of Greek and other 00:00:39.619 --> 00:00:42.240 ancient mythologies thrown in for flavor. Why 00:00:42.240 --> 00:00:45.659 do the other Olympians avoid Dionysus? Because 00:00:45.659 --> 00:00:52.679 all he does is whine. I'm praying to daddy. Then 00:00:52.679 --> 00:00:55.479 you'll love Hammer of the Gods. You can find 00:00:55.479 --> 00:00:57.460 us wherever you get your podcasts. And if you 00:00:57.460 --> 00:00:59.840 really enjoy our show, You can support us on 00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:03.780 Patreon at patreon .com slash hampod. That's 00:01:03.780 --> 00:02:08.330 H -A -M -M -P -O -D. But I understand the other 00:02:08.330 --> 00:02:11.030 side, too. The house of convalescence is a gift 00:02:11.030 --> 00:02:13.930 to us all. A bastion of healing on the Sid Hill 00:02:13.930 --> 00:02:17.370 run by Atash's celestial followers. In the Sunweaver's 00:02:17.370 --> 00:02:19.189 name, they use the innate magic of the auroral 00:02:19.189 --> 00:02:21.550 diamond to treat the wounded and heal the sick 00:02:21.550 --> 00:02:25.129 that pass through. But such healing is far less 00:02:25.129 --> 00:02:27.669 impactful on our worlds than the ability to bring 00:02:27.669 --> 00:02:30.750 back the dead. Atash has said many times that 00:02:30.750 --> 00:02:32.490 such resurrections are not in the Sunweaver's 00:02:32.490 --> 00:02:35.389 plan, that they strip all meaning from death. 00:02:35.979 --> 00:02:38.139 It would be a focal point for corruption in our 00:02:38.139 --> 00:02:41.060 society. This is why this power is used solely 00:02:41.060 --> 00:02:43.259 for criminals that die before they can serve 00:02:43.259 --> 00:02:46.060 their just sentences. There are rare stories 00:02:46.060 --> 00:02:49.139 of resurrections like that of Amin Rasool, but 00:02:49.139 --> 00:02:52.259 these are simply outliers to this rule. We must 00:02:52.259 --> 00:02:55.439 trust they all have a place in Atash's plan. 00:03:06.390 --> 00:03:10.969 A war novel. A war novel. A military novel. Wait, 00:03:10.969 --> 00:03:12.870 say that one more time. Cut the mic. Cut the 00:03:12.870 --> 00:03:20.469 mic. No, no. You can't silence me. You cut mine. 00:03:20.669 --> 00:03:27.229 Oh, am I? Go on. Go on. So Stephen and I once 00:03:27.229 --> 00:03:29.689 co -wrote a military novel. It was called M .I 00:03:29.689 --> 00:03:32.969 .A. Missing in Action. We were babies. It was 00:03:32.969 --> 00:03:37.379 amazing. It was excellent. There were wolves 00:03:37.379 --> 00:03:39.199 with bombs in their chests in a cave exploding. 00:03:39.500 --> 00:03:41.599 There was some other shit Steven wrote that wasn't 00:03:41.599 --> 00:03:43.599 as cool. Steven, why are you embarrassed about 00:03:43.599 --> 00:03:46.300 this? This sounds incredible. This sounds wonderful. 00:03:46.340 --> 00:03:48.500 He found it a few years ago. He found it and 00:03:48.500 --> 00:03:51.020 he threw it away. I don't know that I actually 00:03:51.020 --> 00:03:52.800 threw it away. He said he threw it away because 00:03:52.800 --> 00:03:54.800 it was too embarrassing to ever see the light. 00:03:54.819 --> 00:03:57.580 I don't think I would have actually thrown it 00:03:57.580 --> 00:03:59.699 away. It was so long ago that I found it that 00:03:59.699 --> 00:04:01.379 I don't even remember what I did with it. I have 00:04:01.379 --> 00:04:05.300 so many old, old story manuscripts. I'm fourth 00:04:05.300 --> 00:04:07.270 grade. evil mutant giant spires that try to take 00:04:07.270 --> 00:04:09.210 over the world which steven was a character oh 00:04:09.210 --> 00:04:11.069 that sounds awesome yeah it was me and all my 00:04:11.069 --> 00:04:12.789 school friends and some spiders the giant spires 00:04:12.789 --> 00:04:14.310 came over and they were taking over the world 00:04:14.310 --> 00:04:16.850 and i think like i think it opened up with with 00:04:16.850 --> 00:04:18.529 a sleepover when everyone woke up it was just 00:04:18.529 --> 00:04:20.730 like me and my friends that woke up my house 00:04:20.730 --> 00:04:22.910 we went downstairs and the news was on and there 00:04:22.910 --> 00:04:25.089 were no newscasters just like a blurb on the 00:04:25.089 --> 00:04:26.850 bottom listing like the names of all the people 00:04:26.850 --> 00:04:28.629 in the world who are missing which was literally 00:04:28.629 --> 00:04:30.589 everyone in the world except for like my group 00:04:30.589 --> 00:04:34.180 of friends for some reason And then we raided 00:04:34.180 --> 00:04:36.480 a military base and we got some nunchucks. We 00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:38.660 fucked up some spiders. It was a good time. It 00:04:38.660 --> 00:04:43.220 was a good time. I'm suddenly very, very sad 00:04:43.220 --> 00:04:46.220 now that I'm not going to get to read any of 00:04:46.220 --> 00:04:51.180 this. I'll give it to you. Dude, I am shameless. 00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:53.860 All my garbage shit from my past, I have all 00:04:53.860 --> 00:04:58.920 in folders. Yes, please. I like Steven. We obviously 00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:03.060 went to school in a very rural area. If anybody 00:05:03.060 --> 00:05:06.579 had bothered to tell us about D &D at that age, 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:09.879 we would have gone wild. We had to make our own 00:05:09.879 --> 00:05:12.300 entertainment, though. I mean, I would never 00:05:12.300 --> 00:05:14.420 have been able to survive it because I was of 00:05:14.420 --> 00:05:16.980 the generation where it's like, ooh, Harry Potter, 00:05:17.160 --> 00:05:19.660 that's devil. Yeah, but you read Harry Potter. 00:05:19.939 --> 00:05:23.079 I lost them for a couple years. Jesus. And they 00:05:23.079 --> 00:05:25.720 got them back when they weren't devil anymore. 00:05:25.899 --> 00:05:28.600 When you were old enough. So, yeah, we wrote 00:05:28.600 --> 00:05:33.110 weird and horrible stories. Drew weird and horrible 00:05:33.110 --> 00:05:36.910 comics. Snake world all the way. Snake world, 00:05:37.069 --> 00:05:39.370 yeah. Ah, good times. Comic about snakes. You 00:05:39.370 --> 00:05:42.370 know why? Snakes are kind of easy to draw. They're 00:05:42.370 --> 00:05:45.089 really easy to draw. Yeah, yeah. All I did was 00:05:45.089 --> 00:05:48.709 play dinosaurs. I love dinosaurs. Yeah. Big dinosaur 00:05:48.709 --> 00:05:50.230 kid over here. Give me a high five, dinosaur 00:05:50.230 --> 00:05:53.230 kids. Unite. Hell yeah. Dude, I remember, I'm 00:05:53.230 --> 00:05:55.009 just remembering now that like in our old snake 00:05:55.009 --> 00:05:57.680 comic. Like, I think we designed the two main 00:05:57.680 --> 00:05:59.800 characters and it was Rex, your snake. And he 00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:02.740 was like the super cool action, brave, heroic 00:06:02.740 --> 00:06:05.199 snake. And then I had my snake and he sucked. 00:06:06.319 --> 00:06:09.259 He just sucked. Your snake was like. He was just 00:06:09.259 --> 00:06:11.620 scared and cried all the time. He was like Scooby 00:06:11.620 --> 00:06:15.480 Doo, but less cool and funny. It was the worst. 00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:20.660 He was always afraid. Oh, no. Oh, my inner self. 00:06:20.879 --> 00:06:23.620 All right. Well, this has been fun. I'm feeling 00:06:23.620 --> 00:06:30.149 energized and less sad. Oh, David. You guys want 00:06:30.149 --> 00:06:32.490 to play some Dungeons & Dragons? Yeah, I'll play. 00:06:32.689 --> 00:06:34.569 Yeah, I'll play. All right, all right, all right, 00:06:34.569 --> 00:06:38.089 all right. Then let's set a scene, but not the 00:06:38.089 --> 00:06:39.949 scene we left off at, because I'm doing weird 00:06:39.949 --> 00:06:42.389 shit this arc, and hey, if you guys love, you 00:06:42.389 --> 00:06:45.110 know, switching the sort of point of view constantly 00:06:45.110 --> 00:06:46.649 between two different parties to see different 00:06:46.649 --> 00:06:48.529 adventures that are sort of interconnected but 00:06:48.529 --> 00:06:50.250 separate, you're going to love this arc. If you 00:06:50.250 --> 00:06:54.750 don't love that, I'm sorry. Your lack of love 00:06:54.750 --> 00:06:57.480 is valid. But I'm having a lot of fun, so I can't 00:06:57.480 --> 00:07:01.540 stop now. Let's move into the desert. Let's move 00:07:01.540 --> 00:07:05.379 into the borderlands. Ooh, I like that. I like 00:07:05.379 --> 00:07:07.300 that. It's good. It's a good one. It's a good 00:07:07.300 --> 00:07:10.920 twang. Good old twang. We're panning away from 00:07:10.920 --> 00:07:14.920 Sansatian City, away from those walls, and across 00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:18.160 to the northeastern borderlands. We're going 00:07:18.160 --> 00:07:21.519 to follow a set, a single set of tracks moving 00:07:21.519 --> 00:07:27.290 to the northeast. A set. of hoofprints galloping 00:07:27.290 --> 00:07:31.329 until suddenly they are not hoofprints anymore. 00:07:31.790 --> 00:07:35.569 Three distinct humanoid tracks taking their place. 00:07:36.110 --> 00:07:41.550 We follow these for a short ways and we see our 00:07:41.550 --> 00:07:46.550 three heroes on their journey to Milpazool to 00:07:46.550 --> 00:07:49.069 the collection of bounty hunters that await. 00:07:49.550 --> 00:07:52.870 Individual answers about the missing half -orc 00:07:52.870 --> 00:07:56.629 child. We see Jules LaRoche, Crispin Dubois, 00:07:56.850 --> 00:08:02.509 and Dance Macabre. Now, Stephen, you had a little 00:08:02.509 --> 00:08:04.470 something you wanted to do to set things off, 00:08:04.649 --> 00:08:08.589 correct? Yeah. Oh. This is something I thought 00:08:08.589 --> 00:08:11.689 about the last time we recorded. Didn't really 00:08:11.689 --> 00:08:14.009 get the opportunity to do it, so we'll do it 00:08:14.009 --> 00:08:17.250 now. So, Crispin falls out of his wild shape 00:08:17.250 --> 00:08:22.540 after an hour of being a horse, and, uh... Once 00:08:22.540 --> 00:08:24.779 everything gets settled in, I imagine it's kind 00:08:24.779 --> 00:08:28.240 of jarring to go from riding one of your friends 00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:32.120 on horseback to not anymore. How do you, like, 00:08:32.139 --> 00:08:34.100 signal, like, you stop, and you're like, like, 00:08:34.419 --> 00:08:37.100 I want to change, get off, get off, no! And you 00:08:37.100 --> 00:08:41.480 turn, and they're like... So I imagine that there's 00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:43.919 a short period of time where they're trying to 00:08:43.919 --> 00:08:48.360 get re -established, and Crispin maybe picks 00:08:48.360 --> 00:08:50.259 his bag back up, and he's ready to start walking. 00:08:50.299 --> 00:08:52.850 He goes, wait, wait. That over there, that's 00:08:52.850 --> 00:08:56.549 some yarrow. Hold on, I need to... He goes over 00:08:56.549 --> 00:09:00.370 and he grabs this herb off the desert floor and 00:09:00.370 --> 00:09:02.970 he pulls a couple of things out of his bag and 00:09:02.970 --> 00:09:07.210 he steeps a tea really quick. This is literally 00:09:07.210 --> 00:09:09.610 Steven if you ever hike with him. He'll just 00:09:09.610 --> 00:09:11.029 be enjoying the day and he'll be like, wait, 00:09:11.169 --> 00:09:14.309 is that yarrow? And just run off the trail half 00:09:14.309 --> 00:09:16.509 a mile and like, all right, see you later, Steven. 00:09:16.870 --> 00:09:20.830 So Crispin sets about making this quick little 00:09:20.830 --> 00:09:25.580 tea. And what he's actually doing is he's casting 00:09:25.580 --> 00:09:31.240 augury as a ritual casting. Oh. So he takes the 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:35.019 10 minutes. He steeps his tea, tosses it back 00:09:35.019 --> 00:09:38.299 real fast. If I can, I want to end the scene 00:09:38.299 --> 00:09:42.179 with this, with the results of your augury. Okay. 00:09:42.419 --> 00:09:45.899 That's okay. Yeah. For dramatic tension and whatnot. 00:09:46.460 --> 00:09:48.200 I want to take the moment that you're taking 00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:49.960 10 minutes to do this, and I want to use that 00:09:49.960 --> 00:09:53.700 narratively. to shift focus to Jules and dance, 00:09:53.960 --> 00:09:56.620 because this is a period of time where you guys 00:09:56.620 --> 00:09:59.500 are stopped. Crispin's doing something, preparing 00:09:59.500 --> 00:10:02.659 a spell, and it seems like a time for catching 00:10:02.659 --> 00:10:06.100 up. As you prepare your ritual, we zoom over, 00:10:06.200 --> 00:10:12.279 where dance and Jules await quietly. Jules, you've 00:10:12.279 --> 00:10:16.179 been on the trail for a short while now. Maybe 00:10:16.179 --> 00:10:18.940 it's been one hour, actually. A little over an 00:10:18.940 --> 00:10:21.190 hour. We'll say maybe an hour fifteen. You've 00:10:21.190 --> 00:10:24.230 made some good headway on horseback, but your 00:10:24.230 --> 00:10:28.789 wound is still fresh. What does Jules look like 00:10:28.789 --> 00:10:31.529 in this moment? You have a new goal in mind, 00:10:31.750 --> 00:10:34.909 but where are you at mentally? Hang on, I'm going 00:10:34.909 --> 00:10:37.529 to need a second. Yeah, that's fine. I haven't 00:10:37.529 --> 00:10:39.330 thought this far ahead. No, Jules is asleep. 00:10:40.970 --> 00:10:45.450 He just passes out. Jules is asleep. Yeah, come 00:10:45.450 --> 00:10:51.620 back to me later. He is... His mind is a rage 00:10:51.620 --> 00:10:57.279 focused solely on Miskin, but it's the kind that 00:10:57.279 --> 00:11:03.600 he knows that behind it all is still grief that 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:07.120 he knows he'll have to go through the stages 00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:11.940 of at some point. But for now, his focus on Miskin, 00:11:12.019 --> 00:11:17.080 while it's wholly important, is also a bit of 00:11:17.080 --> 00:11:20.389 a pacifier. Hell yeah. That makes sense. That 00:11:20.389 --> 00:11:24.529 makes so much sense. I love that. So maybe you're 00:11:24.529 --> 00:11:27.629 just standing there in the midst of the desert, 00:11:27.750 --> 00:11:32.750 dances by your side, and there is just this quiet 00:11:32.750 --> 00:11:37.490 between you until she finally steps up to you. 00:11:38.470 --> 00:11:42.029 I had been looking forward to meeting you again, 00:11:42.269 --> 00:11:46.129 Jules. I've heard a lot about you from the refugees 00:11:46.129 --> 00:11:50.850 of Sarul. You were like Mateo. He liked to act 00:11:50.850 --> 00:11:53.450 a brute, but he was actually very kind. Sweet. 00:11:54.269 --> 00:11:57.610 He was not content with only saving lives. He 00:11:57.610 --> 00:12:01.309 wanted to make people smile. And they say, your 00:12:01.309 --> 00:12:04.649 people say you are much the same. I don't know 00:12:04.649 --> 00:12:06.409 about all that. I'm just doing what's right. 00:12:07.889 --> 00:12:11.690 Sibilon's death. It was a heavy loss, I know, 00:12:11.789 --> 00:12:15.490 I understand. I just hope that we have not lost 00:12:15.490 --> 00:12:18.889 that Jules Laroche I have heard of as well. A 00:12:18.889 --> 00:12:22.950 piece of me is gone. I don't know what else to 00:12:22.950 --> 00:12:25.090 say. You don't need to explain yourself. It's 00:12:25.090 --> 00:12:29.970 okay to hurt. It's okay. I don't... I would never 00:12:29.970 --> 00:12:32.690 take that from you. That's all I got for you 00:12:32.690 --> 00:12:37.269 right now. Jules... And she steps closer and 00:12:37.269 --> 00:12:42.070 kind of reaches out towards your right arm. Towards 00:12:42.070 --> 00:12:46.149 the necrotic, darkened flesh. What happened? 00:12:47.049 --> 00:12:52.460 I think... Jules winces as she reaches out. And 00:12:52.460 --> 00:12:57.820 then he doesn't respond with words. He reaches 00:12:57.820 --> 00:13:01.940 out with that hand, seeing if Dance will grab 00:13:01.940 --> 00:13:07.779 it. She does not stop looking directly into your 00:13:07.779 --> 00:13:10.879 eyes as she reaches out and takes your hand. 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:14.740 He gives a little squeeze, turns his head to 00:13:14.740 --> 00:13:19.480 look off in the distance. Your people will need 00:13:19.480 --> 00:13:23.740 you too. I had thought, perhaps if we were to 00:13:23.740 --> 00:13:26.220 bring you to the House of Convalescence on the 00:13:26.220 --> 00:13:29.080 Citadel, we could maybe fight Serenno, maybe 00:13:29.080 --> 00:13:32.820 save you, but... Don't be mistaken. I'm not going 00:13:32.820 --> 00:13:39.580 anywhere. Good. My, the victims in Los Cavalanes, 00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:44.240 they have no freedom to leave. You saw the guard 00:13:44.240 --> 00:13:49.570 as we left the city. Every gate watched. Should 00:13:49.570 --> 00:13:52.549 those who said not to leave, the trust in us 00:13:52.549 --> 00:13:57.649 soldiers would take them. There is so much, too 00:13:57.649 --> 00:14:01.730 much to do. We have to save this child. We have 00:14:01.730 --> 00:14:05.610 to save you and Ramin. But there's so much hurt. 00:14:06.950 --> 00:14:10.809 There won't be when we succeed. And we will. 00:14:12.110 --> 00:14:17.399 We will. I think she just smiles. And maybe just 00:14:17.399 --> 00:14:19.399 lightly under her breath. Maybe you don't even 00:14:19.399 --> 00:14:23.840 hear it. She just says, there you are. And... 00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:26.860 No, I think he hears it. Oh, shit. I think he 00:14:26.860 --> 00:14:29.019 hears it. Oh, shit. He just gives another little 00:14:29.019 --> 00:14:32.879 squeeze. God, they're so in love. And now we'll 00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:37.720 pan away to Crispin Dubois, about to drink his 00:14:37.720 --> 00:14:45.480 little tea. Let's talk about this. Tell me about 00:14:45.480 --> 00:14:50.279 Augury. So we've talked a little bit about how 00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:55.539 the Augury spell works. I can't really imagine 00:14:55.539 --> 00:15:00.240 you using it as the text is written. Basically, 00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:04.500 you ask about a course of action that you plan 00:15:04.500 --> 00:15:07.519 to take within the next 30 minutes. I'm seeing 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:10.899 that as just if I continue in this direction. 00:15:11.480 --> 00:15:17.220 You know what I mean? Yes. You ask this of an 00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:20.580 otherworldly entity. And you are supposed to 00:15:20.580 --> 00:15:26.120 be able to get four possible almonds. Weal for 00:15:26.120 --> 00:15:30.919 good results. Woe for bad results. Weal and woe 00:15:30.919 --> 00:15:35.159 for both good and bad results. Or nothing for 00:15:35.159 --> 00:15:39.259 results that aren't especially good or bad. So 00:15:39.259 --> 00:15:44.350 maybe not always super helpful. I'm guessing 00:15:44.350 --> 00:15:47.409 that you'll think of something else, something 00:15:47.409 --> 00:15:53.090 more fun. I'll give it a shot. One thing. Okay. 00:15:53.169 --> 00:15:57.730 So Crispin finally finishes his tea and takes 00:15:57.730 --> 00:16:01.450 it in two hands, knocks it back real quick, and 00:16:01.450 --> 00:16:04.929 then when the cup is empty, he places it, cup 00:16:04.929 --> 00:16:07.950 end down on the ground, holds it there with both 00:16:07.950 --> 00:16:12.129 hands for a moment, speaks one last. part of 00:16:12.129 --> 00:16:15.289 the spell, and then turns the cup over to read 00:16:15.289 --> 00:16:20.730 the tea leaves. I think it matters a lot to be 00:16:20.730 --> 00:16:24.769 specific with this kind of magic. So I'm going 00:16:24.769 --> 00:16:29.070 to ask you, Crispin, what does success mean to 00:16:29.070 --> 00:16:32.590 you right now? It could mean avoiding combat. 00:16:33.190 --> 00:16:37.370 It could mean accomplishing a specific goal or 00:16:37.370 --> 00:16:40.210 reaching, striving towards that specific goal. 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:44.200 Because I'm going to answer based on that specific 00:16:44.200 --> 00:16:47.059 question that you have in your heart right now. 00:16:47.659 --> 00:16:53.799 Success means accomplishing the goal of finding 00:16:53.799 --> 00:17:03.899 Miskin while achieving some form of safety. We've 00:17:03.899 --> 00:17:09.180 already had a party death, and that's what... 00:17:09.799 --> 00:17:14.380 Crispin is hoping to avoid another death. Safety. 00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:21.539 Okay. You wait. Just a moment, you wait. And 00:17:21.539 --> 00:17:23.640 just around the edge of the cup, you hear this 00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:28.180 like, as you see like a pebble against the edge 00:17:28.180 --> 00:17:32.160 of the cup begins to rumble, shake, bouncing 00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:36.039 off of it. And you feel it beneath your feet, 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:42.589 shaking. The ground shaking. Almost violently. 00:17:43.930 --> 00:17:48.309 Somewhere above you in the clear skies, you hear 00:17:48.309 --> 00:17:53.890 a crack of thunder. And Jules, you experience 00:17:53.890 --> 00:17:59.950 none of this. As the thundercrack sounds above 00:17:59.950 --> 00:18:05.589 you, you take it as a sign to move the cup? Yeah. 00:18:06.369 --> 00:18:11.559 Crispin's gonna... Flip the cup. Wheel and whoa. 00:18:12.759 --> 00:18:16.519 You almost, as you lift it, the vibrations in 00:18:16.519 --> 00:18:20.740 the ground seem to turn the tea leaves forming. 00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:25.640 You can do it. You can. And we're going to pan 00:18:25.640 --> 00:18:30.779 away from that. Back to the city. Back to the 00:18:30.779 --> 00:18:35.519 Salazar estate. To a secret revolutionary, uh... 00:18:35.930 --> 00:18:39.329 I guess, barracks slash bunker beneath it to 00:18:39.329 --> 00:18:44.210 a meeting with revolutionary leader Paloma, who 00:18:44.210 --> 00:18:46.710 has just put forth the very intriguing question 00:18:46.710 --> 00:18:51.769 of how are we going to overthrow the Trezina? 00:18:52.430 --> 00:18:54.650 And if I remember right, Blanche, you had a pretty 00:18:54.650 --> 00:18:59.250 violent response to that question. Yeah, so Blanche 00:18:59.250 --> 00:19:02.829 is just in the beginning of taking a puff on 00:19:02.829 --> 00:19:09.869 the cigar, and she... Coughs it out. Damn, this 00:19:09.869 --> 00:19:11.289 is going to take me a second. Maybe two or three 00:19:11.289 --> 00:19:14.529 tries. Overthrow the... No, that's not it at 00:19:14.529 --> 00:19:17.849 all. I liked it. That sounded fine. Overthrow 00:19:17.849 --> 00:19:22.509 the what? That's not it at all. That sounds good 00:19:22.509 --> 00:19:25.349 to me. It sounds very much like the first time 00:19:25.349 --> 00:19:27.470 you came in. So I just looked at Stephen's computer 00:19:27.470 --> 00:19:30.309 a moment ago, and he just had Google image results 00:19:30.309 --> 00:19:35.019 for Marge Simpson. No, it's just sexy Marge Simpson 00:19:35.019 --> 00:19:38.099 pictures. There is one sexy Marge Simpson picture. 00:19:38.220 --> 00:19:40.299 I'll give you that in the top right -hand screen. 00:19:40.299 --> 00:19:42.920 Oh, sexy Marge Simpson. Oh, I love it. That's 00:19:42.920 --> 00:19:44.359 maybe the one I've been looking at the most. 00:19:46.460 --> 00:19:49.200 I think Paloma notes this and just nods towards 00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:51.619 you, kind of smiling, blowing out of smoke. Let 00:19:51.619 --> 00:19:54.839 me get this voice again. Relax. The revolution 00:19:54.839 --> 00:19:57.720 will handle the long game. The gemstone conqueror 00:19:57.720 --> 00:20:23.549 wasn't built in a day, but... Wow. You don't 00:20:23.549 --> 00:20:30.890 have to narrate my water. What a question. Well, 00:20:30.930 --> 00:20:36.990 I really just showed up here. I don't know much 00:20:36.990 --> 00:20:41.250 of this Jules LaRoche myself. I'm here for my 00:20:41.250 --> 00:20:45.589 student to protect my tadpole, Jean Franklin. 00:20:47.109 --> 00:20:52.490 Hello. I am Jean Franklin Montelio, lord of House 00:20:52.490 --> 00:20:55.609 Montelio, future heir of the Nine Pools and bearer 00:20:55.609 --> 00:20:56.630 of the Band of the Golden Bear. I think I got 00:20:56.630 --> 00:20:59.559 that right. In this here... is Master Defense 00:20:59.559 --> 00:21:03.680 Blanche Trudeau. He does that every time. It's 00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:06.480 important. Titles are important. We all need 00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:12.180 titles. Well, Jean, maybe you can explain to 00:21:12.180 --> 00:21:16.680 both of us, as she gestures to herself and Paloma, 00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:23.640 how we got here. Or Dresden can explain it. Absolutely 00:21:23.640 --> 00:21:29.619 not. Damn it! Look, Jules Laroche, the one you 00:21:29.619 --> 00:21:32.400 just mentioned, he's dying of serenade. We need 00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:34.380 to stop serenade. We were told by Dance Macabre, 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:36.400 Gabriel Cortez, who might have a thing with him. 00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:38.440 We're not really sure yet. But anyway, we've 00:21:38.440 --> 00:21:42.660 been told that you are to help us. So here you 00:21:42.660 --> 00:21:44.380 are asking us to help you. What can you do for 00:21:44.380 --> 00:21:48.180 us? I could sense it, by the way. They were totally 00:21:48.180 --> 00:21:52.599 into each other. Sir, that's not appropriate. 00:21:52.980 --> 00:21:56.059 I've seen those looks before. Dresden, introduce 00:21:56.059 --> 00:21:59.519 yourself. Everyone looks at you dressed in... 00:21:59.519 --> 00:22:06.700 So far, Paloma does not look impressed. I'm here 00:22:06.700 --> 00:22:11.440 on behalf of Jules. He's my best friend. My brother. 00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:16.400 Now that's promising. Alright. And, uh... Sam, 00:22:16.460 --> 00:22:19.220 I know you. And Ramin just kind of waves. He 00:22:19.220 --> 00:22:24.220 doesn't need to be here. Um... Jules trusts every 00:22:24.220 --> 00:22:29.329 single one of us. Alright. Alright, yeah. Then 00:22:29.329 --> 00:22:33.130 we can talk. Let me rephrase my earlier comment. 00:22:33.190 --> 00:22:35.589 I don't exactly want a lot of you to overthrow 00:22:35.589 --> 00:22:40.509 the Tressina. More accurately, I want you to 00:22:40.509 --> 00:22:43.509 disarm them. I want to split them off into their 00:22:43.509 --> 00:22:48.450 two greatest weapons. Serato and Moffil Ironworks. 00:22:49.069 --> 00:22:52.450 And I think both of these can be accomplished 00:22:52.450 --> 00:22:57.980 in one swing. I'm listening. Disarm is a language 00:22:57.980 --> 00:23:02.420 I speak. Good. Good. We have some common ground. 00:23:03.019 --> 00:23:07.380 Now, what comes up next is... Well, it's very 00:23:07.380 --> 00:23:12.160 secretive. So, I want you to think it through. 00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:14.359 You want to step away, now's the time to step 00:23:14.359 --> 00:23:17.900 away. You want to step forward? We're all here. 00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:23.839 Eatsman Del Prado. Heard the name? Tell me. CEO 00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:28.269 of Marfil Ironworks. A big deal, but not well 00:23:28.269 --> 00:23:31.869 -known. So let's get down to it. Tomorrow night, 00:23:32.009 --> 00:23:34.069 in celebration of the start of the Night of the 00:23:34.069 --> 00:23:36.849 Remembered, Martha Ironworks is hosting a dinner 00:23:36.849 --> 00:23:40.869 party at the manor of CEO Itzmin Del Prado. Itzmin's 00:23:40.869 --> 00:23:42.650 a character of interest to the revolution, as 00:23:42.650 --> 00:23:44.849 many believe his enigmatic ways and lack of public 00:23:44.849 --> 00:23:48.170 appearances is a result of the Tresina holding 00:23:48.170 --> 00:23:52.549 him and his company hostage. He's a weapon. A 00:23:52.549 --> 00:23:56.500 shield. He is the pillar of their power. The 00:23:56.500 --> 00:24:00.619 works make this city. And Itzman owns the works, 00:24:00.720 --> 00:24:03.660 but who owns Itzman? What makes you think it's 00:24:03.660 --> 00:24:07.240 them and not him? To be honest, just speculation. 00:24:07.319 --> 00:24:10.660 I don't really know. No one really knows. These 00:24:10.660 --> 00:24:13.920 are serious accusations. You better be damn sure 00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:17.900 you're right. I can tell you this. The Tressina 00:24:17.900 --> 00:24:24.319 are bad. Criminals. Oppressive monsters. Perhaps 00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:27.460 we're just wishfully thinking that Itzmin's one 00:24:27.460 --> 00:24:30.420 of us. The fact that he hasn't made a statement, 00:24:30.579 --> 00:24:33.259 any public statement in ages, seems to point 00:24:33.259 --> 00:24:36.980 to that. But we don't know. Everything's a risk. 00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:40.799 And it makes it worse that reaching him is nearly 00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:43.619 impossible. He lives in the hill, never leaves 00:24:43.619 --> 00:24:46.460 the hill, and Marfil's pandited guardian armors 00:24:46.460 --> 00:24:49.680 heavily patrol every inch of that place. You 00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:52.069 don't get in easy. The way I see it, there's 00:24:52.069 --> 00:24:55.809 three main ways you might find a way in. I was 00:24:55.809 --> 00:25:00.950 just about to ask. I did my homework. Now, there's 00:25:00.950 --> 00:25:03.109 the simple method. You could brute force your 00:25:03.109 --> 00:25:05.509 way past the armored guard. Get into the party 00:25:05.509 --> 00:25:08.109 somehow without attracting attention. Past the 00:25:08.109 --> 00:25:10.910 staff, the guests, the Laroche guard. Yeah, that's 00:25:10.910 --> 00:25:13.190 right. They're rumored to be a real force of 00:25:13.190 --> 00:25:15.509 Laroche men on world. We haven't seen hide nor 00:25:15.509 --> 00:25:17.730 hair of them in the city. So we assume they're 00:25:17.730 --> 00:25:19.880 all employed in the hill in secret. The Roche 00:25:19.880 --> 00:25:23.799 Guards are my specialty. Hey, better and better. 00:25:24.500 --> 00:25:27.039 Also, best not forget that Marthal's pet Luminary 00:25:27.039 --> 00:25:29.559 will be in attendance as well. The Mighty Pig 00:25:29.559 --> 00:25:32.980 Man. That's the one you can fuck with. Now, it 00:25:32.980 --> 00:25:34.880 may be possible to go in without assistance. 00:25:35.980 --> 00:25:38.599 Sword swinging, magic blazing, all that, but 00:25:38.599 --> 00:25:41.420 I would not recommend it. So there are other 00:25:41.420 --> 00:25:43.960 options. Problem is, I wouldn't recommend them 00:25:43.960 --> 00:25:48.569 either. First, there's Serapio. He has... Connections 00:25:48.569 --> 00:25:51.130 to the Tresina. He may be able to help get some 00:25:51.130 --> 00:25:53.269 people in as staff or entertainment. Especially 00:25:53.269 --> 00:25:54.950 if they're not openly connected to the revolution. 00:25:55.390 --> 00:25:58.690 People like you. Serapio, I believe, despises 00:25:58.690 --> 00:26:01.910 the Tresina as much as we do. Maybe more. But 00:26:01.910 --> 00:26:03.789 our methods differ greatly and we do not see 00:26:03.789 --> 00:26:07.390 eye to eye. His story is complicated. He's been 00:26:07.390 --> 00:26:09.250 a citizen of Los Cavallones since he was a child. 00:26:09.849 --> 00:26:12.190 Him and his mother, Rosa. They came from nowhere, 00:26:12.269 --> 00:26:15.289 like most of us. But they were good people. I 00:26:15.289 --> 00:26:17.579 knew Serapio as a boy. He'd run around the old 00:26:17.579 --> 00:26:20.140 city all day, helping where he could. You might 00:26:20.140 --> 00:26:22.920 know Gabriela Cortez, Dance Macabre. Her and 00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:26.680 Serapio were inseparable as children. But Serapio 00:26:26.680 --> 00:26:29.559 changed after Rosa died. Vanished for a while. 00:26:30.019 --> 00:26:32.680 Gained power, connections. He took over the Rosa's 00:26:32.680 --> 00:26:35.960 estate in his mother's name. He near openly challenges 00:26:35.960 --> 00:26:39.700 the Treznor, yet they still fund him. He is a 00:26:39.700 --> 00:26:42.759 dangerous, dangerous egotist. But his hatred 00:26:42.759 --> 00:26:44.839 for the hill is legendary amongst the residents 00:26:44.839 --> 00:26:47.839 of the old city. He might be the best ally we 00:26:47.839 --> 00:26:51.299 have going forward, but he absolutely cannot 00:26:51.299 --> 00:26:54.539 be trusted. I think Romian might actually speak 00:26:54.539 --> 00:26:59.259 up. I'm sorry, but I do still require the helix 00:26:59.259 --> 00:27:02.759 cactus petals. It's a medicine to help people 00:27:02.759 --> 00:27:07.119 sleep. To help hold off on the killing effects 00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:09.680 of Serenno. If we can work with Serapio, maybe 00:27:09.680 --> 00:27:12.279 we can work those into the deal. The victims 00:27:12.279 --> 00:27:15.039 could really use that medicine. The one time 00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:19.799 I... saw and spoke with Serapio, I get the impression 00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:23.839 he'd be one to stab us in the back. I like this, 00:27:23.839 --> 00:27:25.539 because canonically, you weren't there when Serapio 00:27:25.539 --> 00:27:26.920 was there, so I like to think that you, like... 00:27:26.920 --> 00:27:28.099 Oh, wait a minute. No, no, no, this is great. 00:27:28.240 --> 00:27:29.900 You literally, when you were walking in, Serapio 00:27:29.900 --> 00:27:31.279 was walking out, and you probably had, like, 00:27:31.299 --> 00:27:33.720 this really brief exchange now. Oh, okay. Canonically, 00:27:33.720 --> 00:27:35.720 that happened. That happened now. All right, 00:27:35.720 --> 00:27:38.140 all right. He was a dick. He was an asshole. 00:27:41.319 --> 00:27:44.720 I could smell it on him. Right in the smell of 00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:47.019 roses. He smells like someone who would stab 00:27:47.019 --> 00:27:52.839 you in the back. Well, that just means that we 00:27:52.839 --> 00:27:55.960 have to stab him first. There's one other option 00:27:55.960 --> 00:27:59.059 if you're interested, though it's one I might 00:27:59.059 --> 00:28:02.700 be less sure of. Our initial plan to get in was 00:28:02.700 --> 00:28:06.400 to win Hogfight. The Mighty Pigman offered to 00:28:06.400 --> 00:28:09.349 bring any victors of Hogfight as guests. Likely 00:28:09.349 --> 00:28:11.509 against the wishes of Marfil, actually. This 00:28:11.509 --> 00:28:13.509 is why Marfil did so much to keep Dance from 00:28:13.509 --> 00:28:16.289 competing. We suspect they targeted Dance and 00:28:16.289 --> 00:28:18.569 her allies with Serenno. And we know they've 00:28:18.569 --> 00:28:19.950 been using their influence on the Crystal Network 00:28:19.950 --> 00:28:22.069 to threaten off any interested luminaries that 00:28:22.069 --> 00:28:25.269 may have joined her side. You may be able to 00:28:25.269 --> 00:28:27.410 talk a charm that the pigman ended up taking 00:28:27.410 --> 00:28:30.369 you as guests. I'm sure he still has such an 00:28:30.369 --> 00:28:33.130 open invite. Now, during the days he is impossible 00:28:33.130 --> 00:28:35.940 to speak to, his schedule is near. Endless dump 00:28:35.940 --> 00:28:37.740 of promotional spectacles, important meetings, 00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:40.200 yada yada, but we have a plant in his home staff. 00:28:40.599 --> 00:28:43.299 His home gym in Fiestatown is where he retires 00:28:43.299 --> 00:28:47.019 most nights, and I can get you in. We don't understand 00:28:47.019 --> 00:28:49.720 Pigman. He's reported to be a true luminary, 00:28:49.799 --> 00:28:52.500 kind and just, great with kids, all that. Yet 00:28:52.500 --> 00:28:54.900 he is a staunch ally of Marfil Ironworks and 00:28:54.900 --> 00:28:57.160 of the Tresina. He could be faking the whole 00:28:57.160 --> 00:29:00.039 luminary bit, seems likely. And if that's the 00:29:00.039 --> 00:29:01.759 case, and you announce yourselves as enemies 00:29:01.759 --> 00:29:29.140 to the Tresina, I'd imagine that somebody so 00:29:29.140 --> 00:29:35.109 powerful with so few friends To relate to. Might 00:29:35.109 --> 00:29:38.549 get, uh... She adjusts her position, sticks her 00:29:38.549 --> 00:29:49.029 hip out a little. Might get kind of lonely. Sir! 00:29:49.210 --> 00:29:52.950 No, sir! He's... The Mighty Pigman is a lumin... 00:29:52.950 --> 00:29:54.269 He's one of the top luminaries. I think he's 00:29:54.269 --> 00:29:57.150 number three. You can't simply try to... Master! 00:29:57.289 --> 00:30:01.470 Sir, please! I know how to speak to a warrior. 00:30:06.259 --> 00:30:13.579 Gross! He steps away. Where could one run into 00:30:13.579 --> 00:30:17.759 the pig man, Paloma? It's got to be home. You 00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:21.119 can go tonight. I can get you in. Like I said, 00:30:21.160 --> 00:30:23.660 I don't know if you want to trust him. But it's 00:30:23.660 --> 00:30:25.140 one of those three options. It's all I can figure 00:30:25.140 --> 00:30:29.480 out. So it's up to you now. I'm going to need 00:30:29.480 --> 00:30:35.150 one thing. Oh, God. Sir, please, sir, don't say 00:30:35.150 --> 00:30:43.690 it. A bottle of wine. No! Oh, my God. Oh, my 00:30:43.690 --> 00:30:46.529 God. Here I thought we had Jules and Dance going 00:30:46.529 --> 00:30:50.150 strong, and now suddenly we've got Blanche and 00:30:50.150 --> 00:30:54.910 Pigman. Holy shit. Wild. Let's do it. Wild. I'm 00:30:54.910 --> 00:30:58.710 going to kiss Pigman tonight. I want to. Right 00:30:58.710 --> 00:31:07.190 on the snout. Okay. I want to make sure this 00:31:07.190 --> 00:31:11.269 is agreed. Are we in agreement that pig man is 00:31:11.269 --> 00:31:13.690 the route you want to take? That seems like the 00:31:13.690 --> 00:31:16.529 safest option. Okay. And the most dangerous, 00:31:16.630 --> 00:31:19.369 but... It's like, yeah, simultaneously the safest 00:31:19.369 --> 00:31:23.230 and least safest option. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. 00:31:23.450 --> 00:31:30.269 I'm not super keen on Serapio. No. And fighting 00:31:30.269 --> 00:31:33.970 to get in doesn't sound like a super great idea 00:31:33.970 --> 00:31:37.609 either. That is not smart at all. That was a 00:31:37.609 --> 00:31:40.049 no immediately. That's like the GTA approach. 00:31:40.809 --> 00:31:46.230 Oh, it's amazing. Amazing. All right. So we're 00:31:46.230 --> 00:31:49.369 in agreement then. Wow, I didn't think this would 00:31:49.369 --> 00:31:54.049 work. You still haven't told us what you're going 00:31:54.049 --> 00:31:56.630 to give us. You get what you want from helping 00:31:56.630 --> 00:32:00.529 us. Serenno. I told you, they're weaponizing 00:32:00.529 --> 00:32:03.829 it. They're using it directly on revolutionaries. 00:32:04.170 --> 00:32:06.190 They're using it directly on anyone that challenges 00:32:06.190 --> 00:32:09.910 them. It's all connected in Itzmin. No matter 00:32:09.910 --> 00:32:13.589 what side he's on, he'll know something. You 00:32:13.589 --> 00:32:15.809 might not even have to get to Itzmin himself. 00:32:16.450 --> 00:32:18.890 You might have a chance to explore the manor, 00:32:18.930 --> 00:32:22.390 read some documents, anything. We just need information. 00:32:22.730 --> 00:32:25.410 We need to know the source. We need the cure. 00:32:27.739 --> 00:32:31.460 Dresden, I think as you say that, something comes 00:32:31.460 --> 00:32:34.440 flashing back to you from your memory. I think 00:32:34.440 --> 00:32:36.440 this idea of the cure, now you're learning more 00:32:36.440 --> 00:32:38.720 about the situation here, pieces start connecting 00:32:38.720 --> 00:32:41.599 into place. When Cirilla first received that 00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:45.880 message, there was a line in it about how the, 00:32:46.039 --> 00:32:49.559 what is this called, a Tlacatacolo? I don't know, 00:32:49.579 --> 00:32:51.700 you made up the word. That was the, it's actually 00:32:51.700 --> 00:32:57.150 from the book. This being was referenced. it 00:32:57.150 --> 00:33:02.009 noted that preserving Serino was more important 00:33:02.009 --> 00:33:04.349 than seeing the job done, so it was instructed 00:33:04.349 --> 00:33:08.009 to flee if injured enough. The implication being 00:33:08.009 --> 00:33:10.369 that if you were to kill this thing, find it 00:33:10.369 --> 00:33:15.430 and kill it, its curse would die with it. This 00:33:15.430 --> 00:33:18.089 information is unique to you, but I think it 00:33:18.089 --> 00:33:20.490 all kind of flashes forward and you kind of hit 00:33:20.490 --> 00:33:23.269 that realization now. I think as this happens 00:33:23.269 --> 00:33:28.900 and he leaves, That flash, his eyes kind of flicker 00:33:28.900 --> 00:33:33.119 a little bit. Tristan, are you okay? Yeah, we'll 00:33:33.119 --> 00:33:38.740 do it. Good. Then you are now unofficial revolutionaries 00:33:38.740 --> 00:33:41.700 of Sanction City. Congratulations, you have free 00:33:41.700 --> 00:33:45.440 access to anything you want down here. I will 00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:47.759 say, I don't know what's going to go down tonight, 00:33:47.859 --> 00:33:50.019 but it might be dangerous and y 'all look pretty 00:33:50.019 --> 00:33:52.220 tired. Tristan, you're actually on the edge of 00:33:52.220 --> 00:33:54.759 exhaustion. I mean, like taking exhaustion points 00:33:54.759 --> 00:33:57.579 because you've been awake since before the alley 00:33:57.579 --> 00:34:00.380 fight. Can you fucking believe it? Do you have 00:34:00.380 --> 00:34:05.680 extra bets here? Plenty. Take my own. Wink. I 00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:09.840 think I will. Oh, no. It's everywhere. Love is 00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:13.300 in the air tonight in Fancy Pants Studios. Holy 00:34:13.300 --> 00:34:15.980 shit. Hey, guess what? You got to flirt with 00:34:15.980 --> 00:34:20.239 all of us. I already flirted with you once today. 00:34:20.760 --> 00:34:22.820 You only get one. You only get one. You only 00:34:22.820 --> 00:34:29.400 get one. Yeah, we need to sleep before we do 00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:33.679 this. All right. Rest here. When the time comes, 00:34:33.699 --> 00:34:35.980 I'll speak to our plant. We'll set it all up. 00:34:36.420 --> 00:34:38.780 All you need to do is show up at Pigman's villa, 00:34:38.940 --> 00:34:42.900 his private gym estate. We'll get you in. After 00:34:42.900 --> 00:34:46.380 that, it's on you. Oh, boy. I suddenly realize 00:34:46.380 --> 00:34:51.420 I don't know how to flirt. What's your charisma? 00:34:52.179 --> 00:34:56.460 Oh, yeah, that's a good. Oh, no. Yeah, it's low. 00:34:57.340 --> 00:34:59.599 It's low. Okay, good. Great. This is going to 00:34:59.599 --> 00:35:06.679 be. Yeah. Start setting up your third backup 00:35:06.679 --> 00:35:11.219 character, if you will. Oh, no, that's right. 00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:13.780 You got to go alone. Yeah. He's going to know 00:35:13.780 --> 00:35:17.989 something's up if you don't go alone. We're really 00:35:17.989 --> 00:35:20.289 going for this. This is wild. We're really doing 00:35:20.289 --> 00:35:22.750 this plan. It's the honeypot. Fuck yeah. I'm 00:35:22.750 --> 00:35:24.610 into it. This is great. This is content, baby. 00:35:24.809 --> 00:35:26.949 Yeah, it's going to be excellent. Holy shit. 00:35:28.289 --> 00:35:30.469 Anything else you guys want to ask? Paloma knows 00:35:30.469 --> 00:35:33.090 a lot about the city. Revolution. Stuff you want 00:35:33.090 --> 00:35:35.550 to know about. Feel free now. We're going to 00:35:35.550 --> 00:35:42.079 get some breakfast. You know what? I think we'll 00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:44.239 lie. Food will be supplied to you because you're 00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:45.940 super cool and you're helping out and that's 00:35:45.940 --> 00:35:47.900 great and we love you. Perfect. And you're handsome. 00:35:48.579 --> 00:35:55.099 I know. This plant of yours, what does he know 00:35:55.099 --> 00:35:57.980 about the pig man? From what we've gathered, 00:35:58.119 --> 00:36:02.139 not a lot. Pig man comes home at the end of the 00:36:02.139 --> 00:36:05.880 day, trains fervently in the gym, passes out 00:36:05.880 --> 00:36:07.340 exhausted, usually right in the middle of the 00:36:07.340 --> 00:36:10.159 ring. Almost never retires to his actual bedroom 00:36:10.159 --> 00:36:11.940 and then wakes up next morning, does it again. 00:36:12.039 --> 00:36:17.460 He's a machine. No family, friends, social interaction? 00:36:18.019 --> 00:36:20.460 Oh, no one knows about the pig man. Marfil's 00:36:20.460 --> 00:36:23.380 made damn sure of it. No, his whole past obscured. 00:36:23.780 --> 00:36:25.599 But it's a big thing with luminaries, like Sturge 00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:28.360 Man. The more interesting or mysterious your 00:36:28.360 --> 00:36:30.780 past, the bigger you get. Hell, that's why Jules 00:36:30.780 --> 00:36:34.780 and Zeb... Sorry. That's why they... Part of 00:36:34.780 --> 00:36:37.340 why they got so big. I mean, their... Their pasts. 00:36:37.719 --> 00:36:40.460 But interesting. Do we at least know if he likes 00:36:40.460 --> 00:36:46.239 red or white? Oh, white. White? Let's see what 00:36:46.239 --> 00:36:48.800 you think. He's honestly more of a tequila guy, 00:36:48.940 --> 00:36:51.960 but... Well, how about like a... Like a Chardonnay? 00:36:52.599 --> 00:36:55.780 He's not so highbrow, but... Well, I mean, I 00:36:55.780 --> 00:36:58.079 want to bring something I like, too. He likes 00:36:58.079 --> 00:37:00.519 to drink. He'll drink anything. We know that. 00:37:01.199 --> 00:37:03.699 He's a drinker. Then I'll need your finest bottle 00:37:03.699 --> 00:37:06.559 of Chardonnay. It ain't great, but yeah. I'll 00:37:06.559 --> 00:37:11.489 get it. I'll give it to you. The resistance. 00:37:12.650 --> 00:37:18.250 How powerful is your force? Not very. We can't 00:37:18.250 --> 00:37:20.710 match them. I mentioned the armored guard, right? 00:37:21.289 --> 00:37:23.389 In those things, the guardian armors, they make 00:37:23.389 --> 00:37:28.389 magical suits, powerful, autonomous, and working 00:37:28.389 --> 00:37:31.949 for Marfil, working for the Tressina. Hell, if 00:37:31.949 --> 00:37:33.230 they wanted to march down the city with those 00:37:33.230 --> 00:37:36.199 things, they'd raise us in an hour. And there 00:37:36.199 --> 00:37:41.119 are no known weaknesses for these walking suits 00:37:41.119 --> 00:37:44.500 of armor? She just smiles, blows out a cigar. 00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:49.360 If there are, it's been Del Pato will know about 00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:54.239 it. He designed them. All right. Well, sounds 00:37:54.239 --> 00:37:58.619 like we won't get much more until we get in there. 00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:04.699 All right. Any questions, Dresden? Nope. So this 00:38:04.699 --> 00:38:07.619 group is ready to retire for now, take a long 00:38:07.619 --> 00:38:12.360 rest, and then continue their investigation by 00:38:12.360 --> 00:38:17.059 seducing the mighty pig man. See, what you need 00:38:17.059 --> 00:38:19.579 to do is just break into his house, scatter a 00:38:19.579 --> 00:38:21.800 bunch of roses everywhere, and be waiting for 00:38:21.800 --> 00:38:23.500 him on the bed when he gets home. Yeah, when 00:38:23.500 --> 00:38:25.239 I woke up this morning, I knew this is what I 00:38:25.239 --> 00:38:26.699 was going to do. This is the greatest episode 00:38:26.699 --> 00:38:29.480 of Fanny's Pants ever. Wild. Oh, no, that's coming. 00:38:29.579 --> 00:38:33.320 That's when we actually do this. Wild. Okay, 00:38:33.480 --> 00:38:38.460 okay. Jean Franklin is perma -blushing, super 00:38:38.460 --> 00:38:41.179 flustered, cannot deal with this. This is the 00:38:41.179 --> 00:38:43.739 new direction things have taken. I also should 00:38:43.739 --> 00:38:47.659 mention, while Jean Franklin is now canonically, 00:38:47.739 --> 00:38:51.199 narratively, Jules' sidekick, things have gotten 00:38:51.199 --> 00:38:54.460 real murky because Jean Franklin is now, by sheet 00:38:54.460 --> 00:38:57.889 and mechanical terms, Blanche's sidekick. He 00:38:57.889 --> 00:39:00.670 is now on your sheet. Ramin Rasool is now your 00:39:00.670 --> 00:39:04.329 sidekick. Yeah, John Franklin is like sidekick 00:39:04.329 --> 00:39:07.429 in spirit. Yes. Yeah, I mean, regardless to whose 00:39:07.429 --> 00:39:11.409 story sidekick he is, I'll be controlling him 00:39:11.409 --> 00:39:15.590 in battle. So from that perspective, he's Steven's 00:39:15.590 --> 00:39:17.809 sidekick. There are mechanical sidekicks and 00:39:17.809 --> 00:39:19.409 there's narrative sidekicks. Narrative sidekick 00:39:19.409 --> 00:39:21.389 is capitalized est, and that's how we tell it 00:39:21.389 --> 00:39:25.070 apart in speech. Good. Now it's not confusing 00:39:25.070 --> 00:39:27.940 anymore. Now it's not confusing at all. Oh, this 00:39:27.940 --> 00:39:30.679 feels so weird to see Ramin's sheet. Oh, man. 00:39:30.900 --> 00:39:35.719 Look at how familiar this sheet is. Yeah, it's 00:39:35.719 --> 00:39:37.159 going to take a minute to get used to. We'll 00:39:37.159 --> 00:39:38.800 get you used to it. I feel like I'm peering behind 00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:41.420 the DM curtain here. I also feel bad because 00:39:41.420 --> 00:39:43.619 you have two new sidekick sheets to get used 00:39:43.619 --> 00:39:46.480 to, and that's my transition back to the desert. 00:39:46.659 --> 00:39:49.760 Oh, God. Because I've also added Dance Macabre 00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:52.480 to Jules LaRoche's side to get our sidekick sheet. 00:39:54.239 --> 00:39:56.809 So it's a bit of a learning curve. So you're 00:39:56.809 --> 00:40:00.150 saying I can make both Jules and Dance do whatever 00:40:00.150 --> 00:40:02.469 either of them wants to? In combat! In combat! 00:40:04.369 --> 00:40:07.010 You want to go with Megalfest? Sure, but Crispin 00:40:07.010 --> 00:40:12.489 dies. What? Because you'll be alone! I don't 00:40:12.489 --> 00:40:15.510 care how many diecards you can turn into. Huh? 00:40:15.789 --> 00:40:18.130 Never mind. We're getting saucy in here. Hey, 00:40:18.170 --> 00:40:21.869 guess what? The sun sinks low on the edges of 00:40:21.869 --> 00:40:24.719 the desert as it sort of... Falling behind the 00:40:24.719 --> 00:40:28.139 mountains. There's still daylight for now. But 00:40:28.139 --> 00:40:32.659 it's almost up. Almost gone. Sereno, that creeping 00:40:32.659 --> 00:40:35.900 illness. You can feel it on your spine, Jules. 00:40:36.340 --> 00:40:39.500 Coming to grip you, claim you, tear you back. 00:40:40.260 --> 00:40:48.559 But not yet. Not quite yet. As you move, a village 00:40:48.559 --> 00:40:51.820 begins to resolve itself before you. Through 00:40:51.820 --> 00:40:56.239 the... swirling dust of the windy plain. You 00:40:56.239 --> 00:41:00.500 see a small village. Small wooden adobe buildings. 00:41:00.920 --> 00:41:05.099 Maybe 20 or so total. Very similar to Manzanares, 00:41:05.099 --> 00:41:07.559 where you first landed. You know you're looking 00:41:07.559 --> 00:41:11.900 at Milpizul. And as you take this in, you begin 00:41:11.900 --> 00:41:18.239 to hear the screams. Sounds like wood smashing. 00:41:18.960 --> 00:41:22.880 People, a number of people screaming out. Somewhere 00:41:22.880 --> 00:41:28.800 ahead. What do you do? Quick, Jules. Crispin 00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:32.380 starts to run towards the village. Oh, fuck me. 00:41:33.219 --> 00:41:36.800 Jules is gonna die. Hey, dance is fresh. Yeah. 00:41:37.340 --> 00:41:42.119 Fuck. Quick, Jules. Don't die. I have no bardic 00:41:42.119 --> 00:41:44.639 inspiration. I have, like, nothing. Dance is 00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:47.420 already running. I mean... Okay, that was player 00:41:47.420 --> 00:41:49.239 Jeremy talking. Jules is, of course, going to 00:41:49.239 --> 00:41:51.159 run. We all know Jules is, of course, going to 00:41:51.159 --> 00:41:54.239 run. Yeah. It's scary. You know, as you run, 00:41:54.300 --> 00:41:56.679 you start to take stock of the situation. Sharpie 00:41:56.679 --> 00:41:57.780 mentioned that there were a number of bounty 00:41:57.780 --> 00:41:59.340 hunters that were going to be waiting outside 00:41:59.340 --> 00:42:01.860 the town, building up their forces until going 00:42:01.860 --> 00:42:05.159 in to attack the creature, the demon that's been 00:42:05.159 --> 00:42:08.360 slaughtering them in the desert. Some great winged 00:42:08.360 --> 00:42:11.710 beast. It makes you think of something. Now you 00:42:11.710 --> 00:42:14.230 hear battle inside. You see tracks just outside 00:42:14.230 --> 00:42:16.010 town. Looks like a large collection of them. 00:42:16.110 --> 00:42:19.349 Maybe like old spots where like a small camp 00:42:19.349 --> 00:42:22.469 was set up, but now abandoned as these tracks 00:42:22.469 --> 00:42:25.829 have charged in deeper. The attack has begun. 00:42:26.650 --> 00:42:30.909 Before we go any further, can I cast Bless? Hell 00:42:30.909 --> 00:42:34.159 yeah, you can. All right. You can bless up to 00:42:34.159 --> 00:42:35.780 three creatures of your choice within range. 00:42:36.039 --> 00:42:38.360 Whenever a target makes an attack roll or saving 00:42:38.360 --> 00:42:40.559 throw before the spell ends, the target can roll 00:42:40.559 --> 00:42:42.780 a D4 and add the number rolled to the attack 00:42:42.780 --> 00:42:46.860 or the save. Okay. Hell yeah. All of you are 00:42:46.860 --> 00:42:49.900 blessed. Magical Light overtakes you as you begin 00:42:49.900 --> 00:42:54.289 to run. You feel a little more invigorated. Pushing 00:42:54.289 --> 00:42:56.690 forward, quickly pushing into the town itself, 00:42:56.750 --> 00:42:58.710 following these tracks, following these screams 00:42:58.710 --> 00:43:01.070 that go louder and louder. You begin to hear 00:43:01.070 --> 00:43:03.849 sounds of metal clashing on metal, more wood 00:43:03.849 --> 00:43:06.550 breaking. And you see the building it's all coming 00:43:06.550 --> 00:43:10.929 from. There's a large pub, the biggest building 00:43:10.929 --> 00:43:13.469 in the town. You see a sign dangling in front 00:43:13.469 --> 00:43:16.849 of it that's simply labeled as the Milpizul Pukeria. 00:43:17.710 --> 00:43:19.849 You see a number of people are standing outside, 00:43:20.110 --> 00:43:23.050 watching towards windows and towards saloon doors 00:43:23.050 --> 00:43:25.769 with horrified looks. And as they see you, they 00:43:25.769 --> 00:43:27.750 begin to scatter out of your way. Just, more 00:43:27.750 --> 00:43:30.489 hunters! There's more of them! Just do your business 00:43:30.489 --> 00:43:32.409 and go, please! We have nothing to do with your 00:43:32.409 --> 00:43:35.650 war! Just yelling out towards you. And the way 00:43:35.650 --> 00:43:38.949 is clear. Do you want to head into the bar? What 00:43:38.949 --> 00:43:42.869 do you mean? What's going on in there? Hunters 00:43:42.869 --> 00:43:44.329 from outside the town, they've come in. They 00:43:44.329 --> 00:43:46.679 started attacking this... This thing that's been 00:43:46.679 --> 00:43:48.639 living in the bar, we've been living it alone, 00:43:48.800 --> 00:43:52.619 but they're tearing the whole place apart. They're 00:43:52.619 --> 00:43:55.199 dying in there. And you hear like a, and then 00:43:55.199 --> 00:44:00.159 they're like monsters. Beastly roar from inside. 00:44:00.500 --> 00:44:02.760 Can we see anything inside? You said the saloon 00:44:02.760 --> 00:44:05.280 doors? Yeah. You don't push them open. You can 00:44:05.280 --> 00:44:08.280 take a look in. I can't look over or under them? 00:44:08.840 --> 00:44:10.340 I mean, if you look under, you're just going 00:44:10.340 --> 00:44:12.260 to see like a bunch of feet. In front of you, 00:44:12.300 --> 00:44:13.980 you see, like, maybe, like, three, maybe four 00:44:13.980 --> 00:44:16.960 sets of feet close by, one body lying not far 00:44:16.960 --> 00:44:19.500 from the entrance. And, like, beyond that, it's 00:44:19.500 --> 00:44:21.420 hard to make out. All right. How about, like, 00:44:21.480 --> 00:44:24.300 a perception check? I need a perception check. 00:44:24.340 --> 00:44:27.079 Fine. Fine. Like, I'm just trying to make sure 00:44:27.079 --> 00:44:29.079 we're not going to run into fighting, like, a 00:44:29.079 --> 00:44:35.139 stray dog or something. 14. 14, you see feet. 00:44:36.679 --> 00:44:39.579 You're looking down and past the feet. You catch 00:44:39.579 --> 00:44:41.400 this glimpse of, like, a number of other figures 00:44:41.400 --> 00:44:43.960 are sort of up towards the front. Like, there's 00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:46.960 a bar maybe 50 to 60 feet away from where the 00:44:46.960 --> 00:44:49.559 door is. And it's kind of an open, straight room 00:44:49.559 --> 00:44:51.900 up until that point. So a number of figures are 00:44:51.900 --> 00:44:53.679 moving in, almost like standing back. And then 00:44:53.679 --> 00:44:55.940 beyond them, at the foot of the bar, you see, 00:44:55.960 --> 00:44:59.440 like, four figures. And you catch a moment as 00:44:59.440 --> 00:45:01.000 something that you can't quite make out, something 00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:04.059 that seems to be standing on the bar, blasts 00:45:04.059 --> 00:45:07.940 fire down. And all of them just are taken by 00:45:07.940 --> 00:45:12.139 smokescreens. And that's what you make out. All 00:45:12.139 --> 00:45:18.139 right. I'll bite. Okay. Stay behind me. And Crispin 00:45:18.139 --> 00:45:24.500 grabs his club in one hand and opens the door 00:45:24.500 --> 00:45:26.780 with the other. And Dance looks to you, Jules. 00:45:27.039 --> 00:45:29.800 Stay behind me, too. And she opens the other 00:45:29.800 --> 00:45:32.780 door, fists ready to go, taking a combat stance. 00:45:33.300 --> 00:45:40.800 Jules comes up next to Dance. There's only two 00:45:40.800 --> 00:45:46.480 doors. You look in. There's only two doors. You 00:45:46.480 --> 00:45:50.380 try. You're peeking in, and you see that right 00:45:50.380 --> 00:45:52.139 now where the bar, where the fire just hit the 00:45:52.139 --> 00:45:54.320 floor, you can barely make out the blackened 00:45:54.320 --> 00:45:56.880 remains of some bodies, and you see thick smoke 00:45:56.880 --> 00:46:00.559 filling the air around that spot, covering the 00:46:00.559 --> 00:46:03.500 bar, but you see there's something large in the 00:46:03.500 --> 00:46:07.139 smoke. something pushing it away in gusts. You 00:46:07.139 --> 00:46:09.980 hear another scream as something gets cut down 00:46:09.980 --> 00:46:13.780 from inside. You see there's four rough -looking 00:46:13.780 --> 00:46:15.820 figures in dark mercenary leather about halfway 00:46:15.820 --> 00:46:19.199 across the room towards that bar. Weapons are 00:46:19.199 --> 00:46:20.840 drawn. They are facing the smoke. They are not 00:46:20.840 --> 00:46:24.039 taking any stock of you. And you see that smoke 00:46:24.039 --> 00:46:27.239 begins to clear. The flames flickering down from 00:46:27.239 --> 00:46:29.019 the blackened bodies of the four figures that 00:46:29.019 --> 00:46:32.280 were now lying just below that bar and standing 00:46:32.280 --> 00:46:36.650 atop it. A figure begins to resolve itself. You 00:46:36.650 --> 00:46:40.210 see great wings spread out, a dark grin and a 00:46:40.210 --> 00:46:46.210 monstrous face, a hulking body covered in gleaming 00:46:46.210 --> 00:46:51.010 brass scales. Oh, shit. You see Arhalon. Oh, 00:46:51.010 --> 00:47:14.820 shit. And we'll call it there. Welcome to Fantasy 00:47:14.820 --> 00:47:17.960 Pants Story Hour with your humble host, David 00:47:17.960 --> 00:47:22.960 Munro. It's very sexy. Very sexy. All right. 00:47:22.980 --> 00:47:26.380 So I did some digging around at home and I found 00:47:26.380 --> 00:47:31.480 it. I found it. So without further ado, Fantasy 00:47:31.480 --> 00:47:35.539 Pants presents Fantasy Pants Story Hour, I guess. 00:47:36.199 --> 00:47:39.860 It's a thing. A dramatic reading of evil giant 00:47:39.860 --> 00:47:42.360 mutant spiders that try to take over the world 00:47:42.360 --> 00:47:45.980 by... 10 -year -old David Monroe. So brew up 00:47:45.980 --> 00:47:49.059 your favorite cup of tea, sit back in a nice 00:47:49.059 --> 00:47:53.880 shea lounge, and enjoy this excerpt from Chapter 00:47:53.880 --> 00:48:02.429 5. That's showbiz. Just have the moment. Demi, 00:48:02.429 --> 00:48:05.130 my childhood nickname, and a bunch of his friends, 00:48:05.309 --> 00:48:08.250 including Steven, in fact, Mr. Steven Rodriguez, 00:48:08.530 --> 00:48:11.590 are caught between two giant space tarantulas 00:48:11.590 --> 00:48:14.510 in Demi's house. Now, Demi has just charged at 00:48:14.510 --> 00:48:18.130 one of them. bounced off of its head, in quotes, 00:48:18.289 --> 00:48:20.809 that's what I said, to reach an incredibly wide, 00:48:20.849 --> 00:48:22.869 convenient vent that I guess was just kind of 00:48:22.869 --> 00:48:25.349 in my house. I climbed all the way outside, found 00:48:25.349 --> 00:48:27.849 a big rock, and climbed back into the vent with 00:48:27.849 --> 00:48:29.929 the rock before the spiders had a chance to attack 00:48:29.929 --> 00:48:32.650 my friends. And now, returning to the scene, 00:48:32.909 --> 00:48:38.909 we read, Now's my chance, Demi whispered to himself. 00:48:39.230 --> 00:48:42.989 A cruel smile grew over Demi's face. It's showtime, 00:48:43.230 --> 00:48:48.219 he said to himself. Lights, Demi said, and he 00:48:48.219 --> 00:48:50.460 turned on his flashlight and shined it on the 00:48:50.460 --> 00:48:54.099 spider's head. Camera, he said. I did this in 00:48:54.099 --> 00:48:57.139 the podcast. Camera, he said, making a small 00:48:57.139 --> 00:49:01.000 scope with his fingers. And action. Demi dropped 00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:02.800 the rock and it hit the spider's head with a 00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:05.960 crack. The spider fell onto the ground, dead. 00:49:06.559 --> 00:49:09.139 Demi jumped out of the vent and landed on the 00:49:09.139 --> 00:49:11.480 spider's gut squished under his feet. That's 00:49:11.480 --> 00:49:17.429 not a sentence. That was great, but I forgot 00:49:17.429 --> 00:49:19.949 to turn the camera on. We'll just have to play 00:49:19.949 --> 00:49:22.789 it again, Demi said, looking down at the dead 00:49:22.789 --> 00:49:25.750 spider, then looked up at the live one. His eyes 00:49:25.750 --> 00:49:28.429 narrowed and his smile grew. Catch, he said, 00:49:28.489 --> 00:49:30.369 picking up the rock off the ground and throwing 00:49:30.369 --> 00:49:34.849 it to Steven. Spider killing, take two, he said, 00:49:34.969 --> 00:49:41.809 as Steven threw the rock at the spider and killed 00:49:41.809 --> 00:49:51.599 it. Cut and print. It's nothing. It doesn't mean 00:49:51.599 --> 00:50:01.719 anything. Cut. Cut. Cut and print. Demi choked. 00:50:02.599 --> 00:50:06.280 The four boys ran off before they could get attacked 00:50:06.280 --> 00:50:10.840 by any more spiders. Nice job back there, Craig 00:50:10.840 --> 00:50:16.539 said to Demi. That's showbiz. Demi said giggling. 00:50:24.769 --> 00:50:31.769 pants people pants people tell us how many of 00:50:31.769 --> 00:50:35.710 you would like to see us make some merch that 00:50:35.710 --> 00:50:45.050 says it's showbiz cut and print let us know maybe 00:50:45.050 --> 00:50:49.789 we'll make it happen this has been fancy pants 00:50:50.269 --> 00:50:52.550 reading hour. I forgot the fucking segment title. 00:50:52.590 --> 00:50:54.570 Have a good night. Enjoy.