Hi, Clash of Crits is an actual play 5th edition
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Sunday. In a world much like your own. Actually,
it is your own. Three guys on a cruise get pulled
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the world of D &D, surrounded by chaos and magic.
How will they survive? How will they find their
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So, thank you, thank you, thank you. shy away
from. But, hell, it's time we talked about Zomati
Sharp. Just over 50 years ago, a rift opened
in the deserts of Anchor and Sankar. A rift to
the demonic abyss. Out from this poured an army
of demonic invaders, led by the monstrous Zomati
Sharp. We all know of this legendary assault,
which ended only when Atash and his angels fell
from the skies, blazing through these invaders
and streams of holy light. In the ensuing battle,
Atash managed to slay the physical form of Zalmatashab,
sending his spirit back to the abyss and sealing
the rift. But that wasn't the end, not really.
Do you want to know why I love tabletop gaming
so, so much? Sit back. Relax. I'm going to show
you. Let's reset the scene. We see Jules crouched
over Jessenth, hand covering his eyes. Dresden
by his side, grappling his prone brother with
a hand covering Jessenth's mouth. Both of you
in the middle of this courtyard, Grindy nearby
as well as Dresden's Echo standing around. To
the east of them. Past this crumbling fountain
in the rear of the courtyard and beyond stone
walls, Zebulon battles with a single remaining
soldier in the manor. He stands to the east of
them. I reread the same line. I usually space
this out line by line. Give me a second. I'm
sure that'll be a flawless edit. Fuck. He stands
in the doorway of a small room. An enemy corpse
lies to his right and another on the other side
of the doorway. just behind him. We see a number
of bound figures shuffling away from this fight.
And we pan up and above to Crispin, having saved
both Dresden and Jamal, now rushing through the
upper story of the manor in the form of a dire
coyote. He has just reached a door at the bottom
of this sort of reversed C shape of this manor,
putting him somewhere above and south of Zebulon.
I mentioned before, Crispin, that you heard figures
rushing away, and I actually misspoke. Only the
sounds of a single enemy can be heard from somewhere
farther off in the structure, armored boots pounding
on stone floors. Jules, back to you. You mentioned
after we finished that you had wanted to use
the damage aspect of your bardic inspiration's
motive potential on this failed attack. Yeah.
That's still the case. Yeah, I think at the time
I was kind of going back and forth about whether
I wanted to actually use it, and you are being
benevolent enough to... Let me use it on the
attack roll because I have decided to use it.
All right. So to refresh anybody, I can use my
Bardic Inspiration on the attack roll. It was
a natural one, so it's not going to do anything
for that. But I also have my mode of potential,
which allows me to use the Bardic Inspiration
die to target any creature within five feet of
me with thunder damage. Okay. So you'll have
to succeed on a con save throw or take the number
on the Bardic Inspiration die. Thunder damage.
I nat one to the con save. Whoa. Perfect. All
right, let's go. I also roll a one. So you take
one thunder damage. It's all right. I think you're
going to find that every point of damage is going
to matter. So we see this gold ring shimmering
around your waist. Maybe just like travels up
your body, down your arm, down like into the
hand. And as this. Spell is cast as you attempt
this magic. It strikes down into the ground,
doing a small bit of damage. That was the bardic
inspiration. Now let's touch on the inflict wounds.
Your attempt to summon your power to cast this
innate spell fails. And instead, just as before,
you feel pain. Pain radiating from your hand
but wracking the whole body. You are frozen in
place, unable to move, unable to change your
grip. Justice beneath you is still screaming
beneath your palm. And in this moment, you hear
your mother's words in your mind. I know not
what form the ritual will take, only that it
will grant you power. Use it. Embrace it. Feel
it. Use that hatred, Jules. That fear. Give thought
and form to it, and they will give a new form
to you. You remember the fear freezing your heart
as the giant rattlesnake unguards the sunk its
fangs deep into Chester. You remember reaching
out with that fear and changing. And now, in
a moment of hatred for this pathetic little man
beneath you, you have reached out again. Use
that power again. The world flickers away in
an instant and you are in darkness, Jules. You
are in darkness. And there are no borders. You
are floating free. Flying. Flying. And there
is freedom in this darkness. As you fly through
all of space free like the notes of a song. And
it is beautiful. It is wonderful. And then you
realize that you are not alone. In this place,
there is something with you, beside you. Something
so much bigger, so much stronger, so much more
free than you. And this darkness melts away,
freedom gone. You are slammed back into your
body, back in the courtyard, still frozen in
place. No time having passed, and you are not
alone. Thing is with you still, with you in your
body. You can feel it rapidly seeping away, only
connected to you for seconds. But seconds are
long enough. A wave of cold radiates from Jewel's
body, Dresden. You feel it pushing against you.
Some force, something wrong in this moment of
frozen time. Zebulon and Crispin, you feel it
too. Inside the building, I mentioned there are
no windows, just various sconces lying on the
inside of this fortress -like manor. Sconces
that are lit by flickering flame, giving some
light to the scenes inside. And as this wave
of cold touches you, every flame flickers out
at once, extinguishes. And you are left in near
complete darkness, only the cracks in the mortar
and stone giving dim light. The world around
you. Jules, you are not alone. And a great horror
fills your body, courses through your blood.
As you feel your mouth curve up into the thick,
the lictus of a grin. You feel your mouth open.
And words pour out. Words not yours. And words
not for you. Open. your eyes. And you feel eyelashes
flutter against your palm as two eyes open. Jessen's
eyes open. And you feel something dark pass between
you and him. He screams, meet the hand covering
his mouth. Wild and pained. And there is another
scream. from the wall -less second floor room
above where the remaining robe man stands. You
hear him drop into his knees, wailing to the
air. My lord, my hard lord, I did not know. The
prince is yours, yours. I did not know. I swear
I did not. And Dresden watches as a spectral
horn that hovers just beside him, a projection
of this figure's power, spins around and launches
towards the cultist above. skewering him where
he kneels, and he bursts apart in a spray of
blood and bone with a final echoing moan. All
the while, Jessens writhes beneath your hand,
jewels, and you cannot move your fingers, but
you can feel the flesh dissolving beneath them.
Jessens' body rapidly disintegrates, his screams
becoming gurgles, becoming silence, and yet he
is not gone. For a shadow lingers in his place.
A dark, twisting shape roughly in his image.
It seems to seep through your fingers like oil.
And you can hear it in your mind, Jules. You
and Dresden both. Laughter. Screaming, gurgling
laughter. So that was your action, Jules. Dresden
is now up. Jules is never casting Inflict Wounds
ever again. Holy shit. Did we just create another
enemy for ourselves? On the note of not casting
it again, let me tell you one more little detail.
As his pain begins to leave your body, you feel
that the necrotic flesh of your hand now covers
your arm up to the shoulder. And while the pain
subsides, there is a new power there. Jules.
You can now add an extra 1d10 on any level of
cast of Inflict Wounds. Your power forever strengthened
by this connection, by this moment. I gotta give
you a reason to try to use this spell again,
right? Maybe roll another one. I was gonna say,
another d10 to the damage? Oh yeah. But you have
a 5 % chance of... That's 4d10 damage. Hey, you
over there. With a big old ponytail. That's 4D10.
Shut up, ponytail. That's 4D10. Jeremy, I understand.
Holy shit. I know. But that's 4D10. I'm not saying
anything. I'm just... Yeah. It's 4D10. The cultist
above dies. Grindy is cringing back, sort of
screaming, like pushing away. Dresden and Jules
both still linger over this figure. Jules, you
can move your body again. Dresden, you've just
witnessed all of this happen in the span of seconds.
And you may make an attack on this figure. I
will tell you that you feel this sort of oily
shadow seeping away into the ground, into the
earth itself. So what do you want to do? Can
I roll a check to see if a physical melee damage
would do anything? That would normally be, I
believe, like a seek check to make a sort of
perception check. So that would constitute an
action, I believe, normally. I could call it
a bonus action, though. Okay, so you're treating
this as an AOO? Not yet. This is actually your
turn, first of all. I cannot, it's not my turn
yet. Okay. But you know, I'm just telling you,
you know it's seeping away. You feel that. Okay.
Do you happen to have a bucket? No. With which
to scoop him into? Ah, son of a bitch. You could
always just stabby stab and check. Yeah, there's
nothing else I can really use or do. Right, Dresden
doesn't really have, like, spells. No, no. Just
let me double check my inventory real quick.
I should clarify one thing. I am no longer affected
by the restrained conditions or prone conditions
advantage on your attacks against me. Yeah, I
just have to go in with my war pick. Okay. How
many actions is it to turn around, leave, get
back on the jewel, and just go about your normal
life? Yeah, we quit. Ah, nuts. How many actions
is that? Podcast is over. This evil can take
over. It just might. All right. Plus five to
hit. Let's go. It's a 10 on the die for a 15.
That will hit. Oh. He just did, like, eyebrow
raised. That'll hit. Something else is up. I
mean, something else is always up, but... Yeah,
I'm having a hard time getting a read on this
one. That is 11 damage. Okay. You drive your
war pick into this figure as it starts to retreat.
And you can see how this sort of oil slick shadow
almost parts around the pick just a bit. You
can feel the wisps of it vanishing as you touch
down. But you get the impression that not all
of that damage goes through. What the hell is
this thing? What are you? Holy shit. I felt that.
You just hear that same gurgling. Is that the
end of your turn, Dresden? What would it take
for me to grab Jules by the back of his collar
and maybe thrust ourselves? No, because then
he'd get an attack. Good point. I was going to
say you could use that as kind of both your combined
movements that you haven't fully utilized. Yeah,
I wanted to grab him and pull him back, both
of his back about five feet, but he's going to
get an AOL on that. Does Dresden have any bonus
actions? Nope. So your turn ends. And I will
use a legendary action. Oh, no. This figure fully
dissolves into the earth. You may take an AoO
with both Jules and Dresden. Holy shit. Holy
shit. As it pulls away, you can use your reaction
to take those AoOs. Okay. Since I think Dresden
is already in the heat of the moment, I think
maybe he does a quick rapid. Hell yeah, you follow
up just hearing that laughter just madly. Oh,
dude, I love the war pick for this, too. Just
such a cool image. Just driving it through the
shadow, breaking the cobbles beneath, cracks
in the stone, and ever laughing, this thing pulls
away. You leave this plane! That's a dirty 20.
That'll hit, and then give me a damage, and Jules
also gets to go as well. That's 10 damage. Ooh,
not bad. And Jules doesn't say anything. He's
still kind of in shock, and he has this moment
where you kind of see him snap back into it.
His eyes flutter and flicker and realize that
he's still here and realizes what's going on
and pulls out his rapier and goes in for a shot.
That is not going to hit. That's a six. Okay.
As your rapier goes in, it drives straight into
a space between stones as this figure fully dissolves.
And it is gone. That presence of cold is gone.
You feel nothing. We pan over upstairs in the
manor. Perhaps Crispin stopped in his tracks
for just a moment as all this happened. As everything
goes... Somewhat dark around you, mechanically
dim light. You stand before a door about to open
into some space beyond. Silence. We pan down,
where Zebulon stands beside the single remaining
guard. Both of you, I imagine, you know, sort
of phased by this. The guard sort of stops for
a moment, his weapon hovering in the air. But
as that wave of cold seems to fall away, Some
new, zealous rage enters his eyes. You see he
turns back to start to strike you again, Zebulon.
Oh, don't worry, it's not his turn. Oh, God.
So now he can... He's... yeah. Yeah. Occupy the
bodies of his goons. Almost, but not quite. What's
your passive perception? Zebulon's passive perception?
Oh, yeah. Nine. Delicious. You feel it too late.
The presence of something coming up behind you.
Great. Are we in combat or are we at a rock show?
Oh, a little bit of both. Combat show. Combat
show. Combat show. You just feel something there
that wasn't there before, just above the body
of the guard to the right, the one you just dropped.
And because you are surprised, I'm going to take
an attack with advantage. Oh, boy. Holy shit.
Oh, boy. This is not good. I didn't like Jessens
before. I don't like him now. Nope. And that
attack is going to hit. And because I made the
attack with advantage, it's going to do extra
damage to you. What? We might die. Fats. Oh.
Sibyl and you take 19 points of psychic damage
as you feel a claw tear into you. Your mind explodes
with pain. You are lost in the darkness now for
a moment. Everything closing in around you. Claustrophobic.
You feel pain and then you feel nothing and then
you are back in your place. Weaker blood dripping
down from your nostril onto your upper lip. The
guard beside you screams as it reacts to this.
twisting shape behind you. You hear that same
gurgling laugh and then you, Zebulon, and you,
Crispin above, and you, Jules, and Dresden, all
hear a voice in your minds. You were right, brother.
He is the Chosen One. He belongs to the Horned
Lord. I was a blind fool to try to take him.
I will not kill you now, Jules. But I will kill
everyone else. This is all because of a natural
one. We're going to die because of a natural
one. Yeah. With these natural ones, didn't I?
That's the guard's turn. Zebulon's down to five
hit points. Holy shit. The guard beside you cries
out. Oh, my God. My Lord. My Lord. Drops his
sword, lowers his sword, and goes into... Stab
at Zebulon. Great. Excellent. Oh, yeah. Oh, let
me add this guy to the map. Sorry. He's actually
with this guard. This just can't end well. Well,
the hostages are free. Not yet, they're not.
They're shuffling out. I did say everyone else.
I'm like, I don't have that many more tricks
up my sleeve. Is nobody outside of this complex
hearing any of this happening? I guess we don't
know. I guess you don't know. I mean, they knew
his situation. They're expecting screams. And
these screams are in your mind, bitch. All right.
Oh, yeah. That's my attack. I think I already
rolled it. I just literally didn't look at the
die. I just picked it up. Cheater! Cheater! I
actually rolled bad the second time. It was an
11 to hit. Yeah, that's not going to hit. So
ghost has to hit you. You get your bearing beneath
you. You sort of weave out of the way. Oh. Do
I use my second legendary action? To attack you
again? Oh, my God. You know what? I do. I do
do that. Dude, we're going to die. Are you kidding
me? I don't have advantage this time, though,
because I didn't hide. So let's give me a shot
at this. Okay. That is a 17. 17 AC. Okay. That's
a two blades? Yeah. 16 with one, 17 with two.
Gotcha. Then here we go. That's 10 more points
of damage, Ebulon. Wow. Yeah, Zebulon is definitely
down. Okay. All right. Does Zebulon call out,
scream anything as this second attack strikes
and you dodge the blade coming at you, but find
yourself at the end of another one of these sort
of shadowy claws ripping into your mind, explodes
again. Yeah, he just screams out in pain and
falls to the floor. Unconscious. And dying. And
you are lost to the dark. We're so fucked. And
that's actually your turn, Zebulon. All right.
Let's see what we got here. I didn't give Zeb
bardic inspiration before you went up there,
did you? Did I? No, I don't think so. I don't
see a die on your... That's a 10. Let's pass.
One success. How is this happening? How do we
create our own enemy that is killing us? Holy
shit. Yeah, what happened to horses on a natural
one? I miss horses. I want horses back. I miss
horses. I would love to be trampled by horses,
please. Please. Dresden and Jules, that's you.
And we can't see up where Zeb is, right? He's
on the first floor, basically beyond a wall.
So in reality, he's only about. Well, 25 feet
away from where you guys stand. Yeah, but beyond.
You have to go all around the building. But you
probably hear something from the house. Is there
a sound they would potentially be able to hear?
Should we roll for that? I will say that there
are screaming hostages now and the guard yelling
out. Yeah. Okay, so say I were able to get up
onto that balcony. Would I be able to get into
that room? Not for Zebulon. Zebulon's on the
first floor. He's on the first floor, right.
Yeah. You know there's a door a short ways to
the north of where you stand. Oh, you're on the
same level. Yes. Crispin's on the second floor.
Yeah, this is the first floor map that we're
on here. So just to the north of where the both
of you stand, there is a door you could use to
get in. And what is each square? How far is it?
How far is the door? So the door is, let's see
here. Door is 15 feet from, no, it's the Echo,
sorry. About 20 feet from Jules. And about the
same from Dresden. I can do something. That's
good, because I can't. So Dresden is going to
go first. He's going to direct his echo to the
door, which is a free action. Okay. And then
I'm going to use a bonus action to swap places
with my echo. Oh, shit, that's cool. So Dresden
is now in front of the door. Wow, okay. That
cost me 15 feet of my movement, but I'm going
to use my other 15 feet to go into that room.
Let me reveal some space. Because you said we
did hear screaming, and it was indicated that
shit's happening in that room. You heard hostages
screaming from the other side of that room as
this thing appeared. You heard the guard yelling
out. Yeah, and I think it makes sense, even without
the screaming, that they would run inside, because
now that there's not a bad guy to fight there,
they're like, oh shit, the hostages. Yeah. You
open the door. You're standing there. As you
look into this room, you see there's a stairway,
a small room, like entrance sort of area. There's
a stairway that seems to connect to the upper
floor that moves down. And at the very top of
the stairway, you see a single guard moving down,
likely in response to Jules' calls earlier, who
sees Dresden open the door and kind of stops
short. And from somewhere beyond that, you can
hear the screaming of hostages. across in this
room and to the south. And for the listener,
just south of where this room ends is where Zebulon
encountered the first guard. So right now, you
are approximately, I think it's like 25 feet
from Zebulon. About 30 feet from Zebulon. Just
around the corner in the other room. Yep. And
there's a guard in my way. He's not actually
in your way. He's staying on a staircase above
you, so you can move past him without AOL. It
looks like you might get hit on the map, but
he is currently high up enough that wouldn't
be the case. He's at the very top of the stairs.
Okay. I'm going to keep moving in as far as I
can go, which I believe is 15 feet. Okay. Can
you move me to where I'm going to be? Yes. So
right here, you peel around the corner, and even
in this dim light, you can see... The dull brass
body of Zebulon now crumpled down against the
doorframe. In this coming room, you can see some
flickering shadow movement from around the corner
in the next room, something that's just struck
out at him in the gleam of a blade above him.
Another guard, another soldier of this creature
that was once a man. Nobody can get there. He's
going to get a free hit on Zebulon. Yeah. Because
that's all that I can do. I don't have anything
ranged. Yeah. Yeah. Jules is going to follow
suit and go as far as he can go. Okay. Which
is 30 feet. I think Jules would be right entering
the room, basically. So he comes in, also sees
the guard above, sees Dresden at the other side
of the room, just like in the sort of open area
beyond. Okay. Very good. That's all I can do.
Did you use your action to double move? You can
double move. So you can move 60 feet in a turn,
because you guys haven't used your actions. You
only used your movements and your bonus action
for the echo. Right? So I'm fairly certain both
of you can actually at least get very close.
Cool. And then? The two of you pound into the
room. You know, you use your echo to sort of
scout ahead, open the door. You vanish into its
place, charge and pass the guard. Jules is just
behind, and you rush in. Wait. Dresden can get
in? I think so. 60 feet. Let's see. Because you
go 30 there. No, I'm 30. No, because I used 15
feet to teleport. to my Echo's position. Right,
but you can use... You can use your action to
double move. So if you're not using your action
to start, you can run farther. Okay, so yeah,
no, okay. So we're... So we can get into the
room. You can get to the door of the room. With
the door open, seeing Zeb? Yes, you can basically
stand right above Zebulon. Right above Zebulon?
Cool, because Jules is going to use his... Jules
is going to use a bonus action to cast Bardic
Inspiration onto Zebulon. Hell yeah, yeah, because
that's movement and action to move 60 feet, bonus
action. Yeah, hell yeah. All checks out. All
right, cool, cool. Zebulon, you can use that
on a death save. All right, well, maybe now Zebulon
won't die. Actually, it's not you quite yet.
Right. Okay, sorry. Yeah, I just put it there
to remind myself about the inspiration. That's
a good thing to do. When I do that, a nice little
shimmery moat kind of appears around here. Your
fallen body. His dying body. His dying body.
Oh, boy. I hate laughing about this, but... You
guys are funneling into the room, and as you
kind of reach the doorframe, standing above Zebulon
Dresden, you peek around to see this thing that
was once your brother, just flickering shadow,
and suddenly you see horns start to appear on
this humanoid -shaped head, sort of these shadow
wings unfurling. It just looks at you, and...
you hear all of you again a message, and you
know it's not directed towards you. Just kill
him. Finish him off. I have more work to do.
And the wing flaps, and this figure is going
to vanish to a point upstairs. Oh, my God. Are
you going to kill both of my characters? Just
let me see here. That is going to be my movement.
No one can AOL me because you're around the corner
and Zebulon is, well, halfway to a corpse. So
now he just has to make it to his turn because
even still, this guy will get a free crit, right?
Is it an automatic crit? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yep.
This is terrifying. You did this! Before anything
else goes down, you do hear one more thing. Another
round of screaming. From the room above. Crispin,
just down the hall. You basically hear a new
round of screaming from this room. Somewhere
ahead of you. Somewhere beyond this door. Something
terrible has happened. Ah, fuck. And that is
going to be... It's going to be the guard. So,
I still have to hit your AC. I get advantage.
And I get to crit you automatically if I hit
you. That's how this works. And it's only 16
AC now. Only 16. Okay. Thank you for your honesty.
Dude, there is, like, huge. Here's the thing.
Huge potential. I only have a plus three to hit
with this guy. This guy is not that well trained.
He's just some fanatic waving a sword around.
He goes to, like, strike down. Plus three with
advantage. Yeah. That's wild. Holy fuck. Yeah.
It's a 17. Is Zebulon about to die? I think Zebulon
is about to die. Okay. Okay. It's not gonna be
able to do enough damage to take you down anyway,
no matter what, the crit, but it will give you
two death fails. Because I need to hit your HP
max, and I couldn't do that even with double
damage. We're fine. You're not gonna die. Zebulon
goes for anyone else. You're not gonna die. And
Zebulon has to make... So you have two fails
on, right? Yeah. That's Crispin actually next.
You do have the Bardic Inspiration now. Yeah,
so when Zebulon goes, he'll make a roll with...
the extra D6. So he could still very well fail
it. Yeah, I forgot that you were going to go
before me. Yeah. I also, I will need to, I got
to asterisk this though because I fucked up one
thing. You made the guy way too powerful. No,
not that. That's intentional. That's exactly
what happened. And all the excitement, I forgot,
I actually skipped Crispin's last turn. Again?
Again? No, it was Jules' turn last time. Oh my
God. What? Crispin, you, so, essentially, This
is going to, like, kind of cut back. I'm going
to let you essentially make a full two turns
here, because you go next. So when would he have
gone? He would have gone... Before Zebulon went
down? Yeah. Yes. Well, shit. Or Nobin just after,
because he would go after the guard, and the
guard is the one that drops Zebulon. After that
turn, I use the legendary action to attack Zebulon.
So, yeah, that's... Okay. Yeah. All right. Can
you put me on the upstairs map? Yes. Let's get
upstairs. Crispin, we'll say you've already been
moving ahead. Well, you probably were breaking
already into this hallway beyond the room you
were in. Let me reveal some space to you. Crispin,
two turns, du bois. So you have a little more
context in the situation now. Crispin, you have
already broken into this hallway. You're staring
down basically this longer expanse with a single
door in the middle, another door on the other
end that we as viewers here will know would just
lead to the stairway going down. And about halfway
down this hallway, as you peer into it, you can
see there's a door that looks to have been mostly
caved in, like someone's trying to break through
it. Perhaps it was smartly barricaded from the
inside, and you hear screaming from somewhere
within there. Screaming from within there. All
right, then that's where he's going to go. Now,
what happens when a dire wolf tries to open a
barricaded door? So it's already impartially
broken down, so I will just need a strength.
Let's say athletics check. Just pushing against
it as hard as you can, trying to tackle through
it. It's already been weakened. That was a good
-ass move, making that voice replication be basically
earlier on, the minor illusion, because one more
round, and I would have broken through into the
room. Yes, I burped in my voice. I drink a lot
of Rockstars. It happens. All right, a little
laughter helps. Oh, God. Okay. Luckily, this
wolf is fairly athletic, so we get a plus three
to this. Come on, baby. 18 on the die, so we
got a 21. That door smashes off its hinges, goes
flying to the side, flopping to the side. Let
me show you what you see. You open into a small
room where a number of bound hostages stand,
the remaining six. As you peer in, you see that
one of them. has fallen lifeless. I open as this
shadowy creature stands above it. You can hear
this voice in your mind, and now you see what
has been causing it. That would be an action
and a part of your movement, but that's only
for one of your two turns I'm giving you because
I goofed. Okay. Action and part of my movement.
So let's finish the first turn up first here.
You have lost your rage. You did not attack anybody
last round. Correct? Or am I wrong? No, I think
you dropped the guy and moved, right? Yeah, so
if I don't attack anybody by the end of this
round, but if I've already used my action to
open the door. Dude, you attacked the door. I
don't care. Well, no, no, no, no, no. No, no,
that feels like a rage thing to do. That's the
way I'm, I honestly, it's one of those spirit
of the rules things. Like, you're not chilling.
You just willed into a hallway and broke down
a door. If you failed, I probably would have
taken out your rage, but you succeeded, and that
feels like your blood is pumping. It's up to
you, but I'm just saying, I'm okay with you keeping
your rage, because that's badass. Let's let the
pick of minor destiny decide. All right, all
right. Because I feel like the situation is dire
enough that I'm willing to take a freebie when
I can get it. Sure. But I think we need to side
with the pick of minor destiny on this. This
is your flip. Okay. This is your flip. So the
head, the maker's mark, Crispin keeps his rage
for free, because David's an asshole who's out
to kill us. Tails drops out of rage. We have
a harder time killing this motherfucker. Tails.
I would argue it's a little cracked. I mean,
Tails. I mean, even so, you still have your bonus
action this turn, so you could rage again. You
only use your movement and your action. So here's
the tricky part now. Oh, okay. Yeah, rage isn't
a spell. So while I'm wild shaped, I cannot cast
spells. Yeah, you can absolutely rage in wild
shape. 100 % for sure. Okay. Oh, I thought the
move was to wild shape before you rage for that
reason. But hold on. Let me just peek at it real
fast because I don't want to be a dummy about
it. Wild Shape also lets you keep any features
that don't rely on your original form's anatomy.
Okay. So, yes. I just wanted to, because we haven't
run into this situation yet, so I just wanted
to know for Steven. Okay. Okay. So, yes. Let's
do bonus action rage. That'll be my second and
final instance of rage for the day. Just burst
in the door. You see a number of people bound.
There's like two children, two dwarves, a half
-orc woman just, kill him, kill him. And they
start trying to shuffle away, and you see one
woman on the ground beneath before this thing.
Just to give you an idea, this thing is now about
15 feet away from you, up against the wall, standing
over this corpse, sort of shadowy claws. Outreached.
So let's talk about where Crispin can stand in
this room, because he's, I mean, he's just a
dire wolf, so. You can stand fully next to this
guy. I mean, like, it's the form in there that's
down. You can stand basically on top of that.
Okay. All right. That's all Crispin's got then
for his first turn. Let's go for the second turn
here. Let's talk pack tactics, David. Am I standing
next to allies? I believe pack tactic does not
work if the ally is restrained. Oh, shit. Yep,
yep. And the creature in the ally is incapacitated.
So I'm going to call these figures essentially
incapacitated. They can't really move. They can't
really help you. Okay, excellent. That's excellent.
All right, so we're going to go in for a bite.
Plus five to hit. Damn it, four on the die. So
that's just a nine. That will not hit. Okay.
I've got another thing here. Using Combat Wild
Shape, I'm going to, as a bonus action, expend
a spell slot and regain 1d8 hit points per level
of the spell slot. Ooh. So I'm going to burn
a first -level spell and gain 1d8 HP. Hell yeah.
All right, that's four hit points back and two
lousy turns. Oh, yeah, that's right. I have my
HP over here for the wolf. Okie doke. That's
the end of Crispin's two lousy turns. All right.
Some luminary. I mean, you're in there. At least
they've got another target now. Yeah, and it's
me. Speaking of you, let's go back down to old
Zebulon. Oh, goddammit. Okay. Oh, fuck. Yeah,
so like... All right, let's... Zebulon, you have
two fails and one save. Holy shit. You have a
bardic inspiration to add to this. I am going
to poop my pants. Well, and a one is a one is
a one. Well, actually, it doesn't matter because
if I rolled a one, even if I added six, that's
not. Yeah, you got maxed on that inspiration.
I'm so stressed out. So you have to get four
or higher. And we're all out of buttons. Hold
on, hold on. Four is the absolute minimum. Yes.
Before you do this. Let me start your music.
Oh, God. Zebulon, there's darkness surrounding
you. You are somewhere locked in your own mind.
Somewhere so far from what's physical and what's
real. You are floating. You are flying. That
same freedom that Jules felt. You feel it too.
It's terrifying. Because that freedom is calling
to you. I hate to put this responsibility on
anybody but myself. But I am going to use some
more holy water here on my... coat the shit out
of that thing my d20 this is i i all right no
more no more pussyfooting around it we're gonna
roll we're gonna roll this die don't wait no
i'm not ready oh my god it's a one i cannot oh
my god it's a one oh my god Oh, fuck. Oh, Sholay's
gonna be pissed. Okay. Okay. Zebulon. The darkness
calls to you. The freedom calls to you. You feel
yourself pulled. Damn, give me a second. Oh,
shit. I need a beer. Let's take it home. Zebulon,
we're going to come back to you. We're going
to come back to you in this darkness in your
flight. At the end. Dresden and Jules. You stand
at the door of this room. You just watch a blade
flash down, striking at Zebulon's body. Blood
pumping out around it. This guard, this soldier
laughing. I forgot the actual other soldier at
this point would have come down the stairs fully,
so he basically pumps into the room behind you.
One stands behind you, Jules. One stands above
Zebulon in this room, just beyond you, Dresden.
At this point, you do not know Zebulon's fate.
I don't know his fate, but I see him on the ground
unconscious, right? Yes. I'm really struggling
right now because when he sees that, he's going
to rage. And he's going to cast Inflict Wounds
again. Play your character, man. Just making
sure. You had no buttons over there, right, Steven?
No buttons. Okay. I got to play it to the character.
Do what you got to do, homie. I have to. Jules
goes into the room, looks down, and sees Zebulon
unconscious. Does a double take back up to the
guard standing over him. What the fuck did you
do? And he runs to the guard. Smashes into him.
You stupid motherfucker! And smashes his hand
down onto the guard's face. Bonus action Bardic
Inspirations himself. And casts Inflict Wounds.
Holy shit. And that's a 12. 12 total on the guard.
Does not quite hit. Okay, but you also have to
make a con save or take six thunder damage. I
do fail the con save. Okay, six thunder damage.
That's actually quite a lot. You reach out and
perhaps like something about this power is resisting
this man who just like laughs, laughs. You. You
did this! As your hand covers his face and it's
a pounding of thunder. It just knocks him against
the wall. He's still laughing, blood running
down the side of his head. Dresden. Dresden has
a very, what's the term? Stoic look on his face.
Is that the right term? Stoic. Slowly walks to
where Jules and the guard are. bends down on
one knee, takes out his war pick, pushes Jules
aside from the guy on the ground, and replaces
Jules on top of him, grabs his throat, pulls
up his war pick, and he's going to try to come
down on his face. Okay. That's an 18 to hit.
That will hit. And that is max damage 13. His
face just erupts as your pick drives right through
it, cutting off all laughter. Anything else you
want to do with your turn? No, that's it. Still
one more guard in the room outside of this one,
kind of coming up behind you, sword drawn, and
above you, you yet hear screaming, and now the
sounds of something large scratching along the
floor, pounding into things. There's a battle.
just above where you stand. We're going to paint
up to that battle because it's my turn. All right,
you see me. No advantage here, but I am going
to strike out at you, Crispin. There's a 20 to
hit. Yeah. 10 damage. Jesus. Psychic, again,
just clean your mind. Psychic, so it bypasses
the rage. Your mind explodes. Its claw drives.
deep into you, through you. Oh, boy. Still a
dire wolf. I'll stand my ground. Sorry, dire
coyote. I'll stand my ground. All the people
in the room start to shuffle as far away to the
back wall as they can, giving the two of you
space. The remaining soldier on the first floor
is going to come up behind you, rush into the
room, standing over Zebulon, and I'm going to
strike out at Dresden. And I'm going to miss.
And that's all that guy does. Run to the room,
just wildly swinging. You easily sort of move
to the side. And that is Crispin. All right.
Yep, Crispin's going to do another bite attack.
Just a 14. That hits. Oh, sweet. Okay, wasn't
expecting that. So that's 2d6 plus 3 piercing,
though. Eight piercing. Then it also says, if
the target is a creature, it must succeed in
a DC 13 strength saving throw. Are we not prone?
I don't think that is going to do anything to
this fella. I'm immune to prone. Okay. As you
go to hit it, it's like you're just pushing through
the force of its body. Then I'm going to burn
another spell slot for another D8 of healing.
Ooh, okay. That's four points. Back to Dire Coyote
Crispin, and that's the end of his turn. Okay.
You might be able to correct this narratively.
I forgot to actually hit my Inflict Wounds use
last time, and it just occurred to me it's a
once -per -long rest. It's not a spell slot.
You can also use a spell slot for it, I believe,
the ability you have for those. Yeah, they work
both ways. You can do it once per rest for free,
and you can use a spell slot to use it after
that. Go to spells, and you should be able to
see it in spells. Okay, okay, okay. Wait, hang
on, hang on, hang on. That's what I am, because
then I hit use, and then you can't use it again.
And it specifically says once per long rest.
I mean, you have lots of ways you could do six
damage, I think. Well, yeah, see, it's still
under. Oh, well, yeah, I guess I don't really
know. I'll let David look at it. Yeah, it says
once per long rest, and then you hit the button
to say use, and then it grays out. Worst case,
narratively, maybe we could say that I was in
such a rage that... So wait, was this... I'm
all into a pin wave anyway. You just unlocked
this crazy power in you. Okay, right. It's not
the use that you used on Jessent, right? Huh?
No, the second one. That was the first use was
on Jessent, right? Okay, yeah. And then the second
use was on the garden. As long as that one was
legit. Yeah, that one was legit. Yeah. Okay.
I am going to throw up. Because you're about
to kill Crispin too. Legendary action attack
on Crispin. Okay. Oh my god. Actually, it's a
miss. Okay. Six on the die. Do you have another
backup? No, I'm leaving if Crispin dies. You
guys are going to the Ren Faire by yourselves.
And I won't be back. Holy shit. This is wild.
He's only got an AC of 14 as a Dire Coyote. That
actually loops back around to Dresden and Jules.
One more man stands in the doorway now over Zebulon's
body, blocking you off. You hear combat upstairs.
What do you guys want to do? Jules turns around
to the guard and caches it in. And casts Tasha
City's Laughter. Yeah, so you need to make a
wisdom save. Okay. Absolute fail. Perfect. Get
down on that fucking ground. He drops, laughing
hysterically. And you have... He drops on top
of Zebulon's body, laughing hysterically. Oof.
Oof. You know what? It's okay, because he's making
the jokes. If I did, it'd be too much. It'd be
too mean. No, it wouldn't. Too soon. Too soon,
Steven. Damn it. And then Jules is going to move
out of the room and try to go upstairs. And as
he passes where Zebulon is... He's going to kind
of lean down and say, I'll be back for you, buddy.
I'll be back. So I'm going out and then Crispin's
going to follow. But as he goes, he's going to
take an action with his war pick on the prone
guard. Hell yeah. That's advantage. Dirty 20.
That's going to hit. Seven damage. Okay. He's
looking rough. just like blood pouring, not down
fully yet. But you keep moving? Yeah. Okay. And
you are just behind Jules. Both of you are at
the foot of the stairs about to move up. Okay.
I just don't know if Dresden would leave him
alive with the... It's a good point. With the
hostages there. Oh, right, yeah. It's a good
point. So I'm going to narratively turn this
around. Yeah. If that's okay, if you don't mind.
Yeah, yeah, do it. Turn this bus around. We went
off a cliff. I'm sorry. I'm going to puke. Go
ahead. But wait, as we get to the bottom of the
stairs, Dresden is going to stop, look to Jules.
You keep going. I'm going to get these hostages.
And he turns around. Okay. All right. Back upstairs.
Let's make my attack quickly here. Still battling
Crispin. Did you just attack me? Attacking me
again? I think. Yeah, because I attacked the
end of your turn with my legendary. Oh, gotcha.
Try to make sure I don't miss anybody, but yeah,
no. Try to make sure you don't miss any attacks
on my characters. Yeah, we really can't have
any wedges. Ten more damage on Crispin. Oh, my
God. Holy shit. Psychic damage. Just blows against
each other. Just the same gurgling. Laugh. The
guard downstairs stands back up. But seeing that
Dresden has turned around, he spins around to
strike at you. And he's going to miss just clanging
off the side of your armor as you kind of like
sort of hold against him, dodging the blow. Nice
try, shit snack. Oh my God, yes. What kind of
snack is that? Please bring more laughs. I need
more laughs. Oh my goodness. Okay. Crispin, that's
you. Okie doke. We're going to rinse and repeat
here with Crispin. We're going to go in for a
bite. 16. That'll hit. 2d6 plus 3. Let's get
some big numbers on these d6s, please. I rolled
two ones. Oh, my gosh. Five damage. And I'm going
to bonus action below another. Oh, my final level
one spell slot here. Let's see what we can get
back. Two. Got two back on the final spell slot.
So Direwolf Crispin is at nine HP. Don't be too
alarmed, though, because once he hits zero, he
goes back to being Crispin. Right. Well, let's
see if I can make that happen. What's your reaction?
I'm going to attack you. Great. Cool. Fun. It's
a hit. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Nine damage.
Oh, get out. Oh, my God. Fucking hell. Okay.
All right. So Crispin goes back to being Crispin.
But no damage carries over. No damage carries
over. Your form shrinks down. And so this large,
hulking, dire coyote standing in this room, taking
up like half the space, just shrinks down to
a small haringan. Hulking. Hulking a haringan.
Holy shit. Okay. Okay. My brain is... That's
going to be Dresden and Jules. Jules keeps running
up. So how far is he from where he needs to get
to? Jules, you make it to the top of the stairs
with 20 feet of movement. You can peer down and
about 15 feet down from where you stand, there's
an open doorway. into the very hallway. Crispin
Dubois just came down about 20 feet south of
that doorway. You see there's a door that's been
ripped off his hinges and you can hear the sounds
of combat from somewhere within. Is that both
movements or just one movement? He's used 20
feet so far of his movement. I'm going to use
all 30. Okay, so that should get you to the door.
You reach the doorway and you can peer in. That'll
be... Hold on, I just want to make sure, because
you said, Jeremy, I'm going to use all 30, which
would have only gotten you another 10 feet. Right.
But then you would have needed to use the double
move. Are you double moving? No. Okay, so then
you... I don't want to be caught in there without
an action. Gotcha, okay. Fuck no. So at that
point, you're at the start of the hallway. You
basically just enter into the hallway. Because
I think at this point, narratively speaking,
Jules is prepping an action. Well, I mean, if
you have an action to do in the hallway, but
if you don't, I mean... Crispin is there tanking
still. Yeah, I don't have anything I can do.
Well, actually, hold on, hold on, hold on. That
should let you go. As you've been attacking this
thing, it seems like the attacks aren't doing
a lot, but every bite, every scratch, this sort
of smoky vapor flies off the body and it becomes
more and more translucent. It's actually looking
pretty thin now. You have been doing consistent
damage. Right. Because I could lead it out. Could
what it out? Lead it out? I could lead it out.
I think we just got to fucking kill this thing.
Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. I can't do
anything that's going to kill it from outside.
Oh, right, yeah. That's what I'm saying. So it's
either go in there with my full move and have
no action and be like, hey, look, hit me on your
next turn. Yeah, but Crispin's in the way. I
would be very surprised if this thing, who said
I'm going to kill everybody else and not you,
would bother to go after. That's true. Yeah.
All right, fuck it. I'll go to the door. Okay.
You turn around the corner of the open door.
You see a number of figures kind of pressed into
the corner, sort of trying to peel as far away
from this carnage as they can. You see that shouty
monstrosity that was Jessent is duking it out
with, well, what was a Diacody. Now all you see
is a small Haringon figure having just been pulled
out of his form. So let me actually make you
smile on the map again. And legendary action
goes to attack Jules. Ha ha, gotcha. You see
the corpse of a woman. beneath this thing. A
woman that you might have known. She was from
Sarul. She was from the Low City. Maybe a face
that you recognize. So that's Jules. What's Dresden
up to? As he's going past the guard, what would
it take to just shove him down? Because he's
not going to sit there and engage the guard.
He's walking past to free the hostages. I'll
tell you, the guard looks pretty messed up. Yeah,
if we just kill the guard. Yeah, okay. Can I
just take a swing with my war pick on the way
to the hostages? Yeah, absolutely. It's only
an 11 to hit. 11 does not hit. So maybe as he
hits me and I'm walking past him, I just kind
of swing my war pick back, like not even thinking
about it, and then it just misses as I go by.
Okay. And you just push down to the hostages,
kind of stand before them? Yep. Okay. All right.
What would it take to free them? Would that be
an action? Yes, I think it would be an action
to free them. Object interaction. In this case,
I think it would be an action. It's a little
more technical work to get in there. Okay. So
you can stand there at this point and kind of
be guarding on them, but you won't be able to
free them quite yet. Okay. Okay. Sorry, I'm shaking
myself. All right. Back in the upper story room,
I'm going to keep attacking you, Crispin. I think
you see this figure looks up at you, Jules, as
he strikes out at Crispin. It's a hit, by the
way. His AC is 16 now. It's a 19 on the die.
Okay. Driving his claws into him. Crispin, you
feel another blast of pain as I do eight damage
to you. Nothing too crazy. No, that's not too
crazy. In your mind, Jules, you hear this taunting,
familiar voice. What's the matter, Prince? Afraid?
Afraid of what you're going to become? Do you
feel sorrow at those that have fallen due to
your actions? Due to your potential? You won't
need them. Not when you're like me. That's going
to be my turn. That's going to be Crispin. Oh
my goodness. What can Crispin even do? Do I have...
I guess I wouldn't have any reason to believe
that bludgeoning would do any more or less damage
than piercing. You would have no reason to believe.
I'm going to stay as Crispin here and take a
swing with his great club. So this small but
stout Haringan, his eyes are still wild, even
though he's not... wild -shaped anymore, and
his muscles are bulging out of his fur, and he
reaches with this gnarly, muscly hand and grabs
this great club off his back and takes a swing.
And that's an 18 to hit. That will hit. All right.
That's a D8 plus 4. Max damage. 12 damage. Ooh,
not bad. Nice. You swing that club in, and, like,
maybe this thing's distracted. It's just focusing
its attention on Jules, so it doesn't quite see
as you, like, you push your club deep into a
huge burst of the smoke, just almost, like, bleeding
out of it, just... And it... You see it starting
to grow thin, starting to weaken. I'm deciding
if I want to use Combat Wild Shape as a bonus
action and just go... back to being a fucking
Dire Coyote with a gazillion hit points. But
I think I'm going to save it for now, mostly
because I like the d8 plus 4. I don't know if
that's mathematically better than 2d6 plus 3.
Probably not, but let's stay there for now. At
least use up some of this HP pool. Did you add
the 2 damage from Rage? Nope. Okay, let me add
one more damage then. Okay. And that's actually
going to loop back around to Jules and Dresden.
Can I free the hostages? Yeah, you can start
cutting. You can move down and cut one person
free. Okay. But then you can't kill him. I know.
I'm not super afraid of one guard. Sure. You
cut one person free. They turn to start cutting
the others. The guard, he actually skipped his
turn before, but his sword just flashes out,
and he's going to get ready to move in on you.
Can I also point out that when I free one, I
double check to make sure where he is? Yep. Okay.
Just so he can't come up behind me. Yeah, you
freed me. That's part of your turn. You can still
move and do bonus action. Okay, so yeah, I freed
him, and then I'm going to stand up and face
the guard in a combat -ready position while the
other hostages are being freed. Damn, that's
cool. Arms out, war pick in my hand. You ready
to die? Holy shit. Too bad for you. Your allegiance
has been misplaced, and now you're going to pay
the price. Holy shit. Then that's also Jules.
Would this thing be considered a creature? Yes.
Okay. So Jules is going to reach over. Ah, shit.
Yeah, Jules is going to reach over Crispin's
shoulder and cast Dissonant Whispers. Okay. So
you need to make a wisdom save. That is a 13.
Fail. Ooh. So that is going to be 3d6 psychic
damage, and you have to immediately use your
reaction to move as far away as your speed allows.
Oh, shit. Right down to Dresden. So 3d6. Let's
go. Kill him. Just kill him here. That's 14 psychic
damage. I got two sixes and a two. Psychic damage
is actually a damage type. I do not resist. I
believe also since it's magical, I do not resist
it. Please tell me something good. Tell me something
good. So you step up and you just cast this.
What's it all look like? This. Yours. Just like
me. You'll be just like me. The white mist envelops
the white mist. Because it's still misty, right?
He's like black mist. It's black mist. The white
mist envelops the black mist. And then, as this
happens, the white mist slowly crushes and implodes.
No! No! You're the chosen one! You can't! I'm
yours! I'm yours! And Jessenth Kellig dies once
and for all. It was supposed to be Dresden that
did it. It's still poetic. Oh, it's so poetic.
Dresden. I love that Dresden puts this grudge
aside to be a damn hero and save the people down
below. Like it was actually like a conscious
decision on his part, which is so powerful to
me. Speaking of Dresden, I want to cut back to
that because upstairs, this situation has likely
been resolved essentially, right? No one's getting
downstairs before this battle ends. Crispin,
if you have something you want to do, we'll do
it. If not, I'm going to cut to Dresden and the
guard, the last two figures alive in this combat,
or the last enemy alive in this combat. Nope.
Go for it. Okay. This figure vanishes before
you as Jules and Crispin stand together in this
small room, all the hostages behind, that last
scream fading out like smoke, blowing out the
window in the breeze, or the cracks in the mortar
in the breeze. And in that moment, Jules turns
to Crispin. You free the hostages. And he darts
back out the door and starts running downstairs.
Downstairs, Skard's going to charge at Dresden
and completely flop the attack. Just easily parry
his blade to the side. He opens up. It's your
move. He's right in front of me? Yeah. Dresden
grabs his throat. Stupid move. 21. That hits.
And you don't really need to bother rolling damage.
You can ascribe the kill. He's got his hand on
his throat, and his war pick comes from the side,
just right into the side of him. Okay. This figure
just falls to the ground before you. The hostages
behind you are starting to get freed. Mixed amongst
the cries. You can hear these muffled words of
thanks behind you. Dresden. And in some way...
In this exact moment as you drop this guard,
you can feel something. You heard that scream
in your mind. You heard that last whimper of
the creature that was always your brother. And
you feel that he is gone. In that moment, he
sees the hostages are being freed. And he runs
over to Zebulon and crouches down to check on
him. Before we even resolve that check. We just
pan down to this. Let's see like a bird's eye
camera from above. As we see Dresden standing
over this body. We zoom down, down to the dull
matte scales of Zebulon Black. Down to his open
eye. A lifeless eye with no gleam. Down into
this pupil. Into the dark. And through the dark.
We see Gray. Endless gray. Like a vast, open
desert. A light gray, hazy sky above gray sands.
There are no rises. One level plane. We see tracks
in the dirt. Tracks traveling in every direction,
but no feet, no people, no one to leave those
tracks. And somewhere amongst all of this, nothing.
We see a small half -dragon standing, still retaining
his form, still retaining the exact equipment
that he died in. Zebulon, you look out around
you. You are in an alien place, and there is
nothing to see. And we'll call it there.