Hi, Clash of Crits is an actual play 5th edition
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Sunday. In a world much like your own, actually
it is your own, three guys on a cruise get pulled
into a whirlpool. and find themselves lost into
the world of D &D, surrounded by chaos and magic.
How will they survive? How will they find their
loved ones? How will they get home? Find out
on the next episode of... Blast On Me! Hey, Solly,
what are you doing over there on the mic? Hey,
get off that thing! You over there talking on
that microphone? Come on, Solls, you know how
they get about messing with stuff. What the hell
was he doing? Get off of there! You scaly rat.
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Stormtrooper Oren is not here. That's right.
Get that shit out of here. Get that music out
of here. We're getting to the action right away.
No banter, no Oren. We've got a time for him.
It's time for you guys to die. And last time,
Mr. Jeremy Wolf, I left you with a ultimatum.
And I want to hear your answer. But first...
No, I'm just kidding. Let's do a quick reminder.
Yes. Dresden is under hold person. You have both
your characters in one spot here. Dresden is
paralyzed, and his brother is coming in. Coming
in to strike with two critical hits. As he pointed,
I'm going to take your eye, and then I'm going
to take your head. But as he goes to move, Jules,
seeing that the hostage just in the holding has
been dropped, seeing Grindy kind of falls to
the cobbles, sees that Jamal up top, hey, whoa,
hey, just thrown to the side as this cloaked,
hooded figure is focusing all its attention on
holding Dresden in place. The two hostages you
can see have been... Throw him to the side. You
have a moment to act. And Jules, misty steps
just behind the charging Jesseth, who slides,
suddenly feeling this force behind him. And as
this moment happens, as time freezes these three
figures in a line, you have a choice. You can
give me no buttons, and I will attack Dresden
twice. Two crits. Things will play out the way
they were going to play out before. You can give
me one button, and Jessinth will spin around,
seeing that Jules is up to something, not trusting
it. He's going to strike at Jules twice. You
can give me two buttons, and that will give you
a free chance to try to grapple Jessinth, a hardened
warrior who is probably stronger than you. Got
a third button? Maybe you can take advantage
of that check. I would give you my button if
you wanted to do three. Because you're probably
going to fail. Probably. I've got a plus one
to athletics. Yeah, Jessent has a plus a lot
to athletics. Yeah, Zebulon doesn't need any
buttons. That's up to you. Famously good rollers.
That's up to you. That's the thing is I already
have a plan for my button, which will also be
pretty clutch. Honestly, yeah. I think we should
just roll with. All right, let's do it. Yeah.
This would be easier if somebody gave out more
buttons. Seriously. Seriously. David, I'm giving
you two buttons so that I can get a contested
grab. Holy shit. On Jessent's neck. Okay. Give
me those buttons. Holy shit. Here we go. So Jules
Misty steps behind Jessent, grabs him by the
neck. Shit doesn't have to go down like this,
Jessent. You let the others go. We'll do what
you want. But if you don't, your life ends now.
You little brat! Let's roll those checks. Your
arm goes around him. He's surprised at first,
but his arms launch up to grab at yours. He's
going to try to pull you off. What'd you roll?
What'd you roll? What'd you roll? What'd you
roll? I'm sitting the DC. It's just a five. For
me, it was just an eight. My God, it was low.
Just enough. It was low. Just enough. Wait, what?
You rolled a five on the die. What? No, no, no.
No, no, no. You rolled a five. Yeah, I was saying.
He rolled an eight. Yeah. Eight is higher than
five. That's just enough. Oh, oh, oh, shit. I
thought you meant to do this. Okay. Yeah. I thought
it was pretty clear. I don't know. It was low,
but it was still just enough. Your comedy is
streets ahead of ours. God damn it. This is all
getting cut now. Fucking hell, this is stupid.
Boom. Arms are yanked off as he spins around,
standing between the two of you. I'm going to
put, let me change the tokens on the map. Dresden,
I pushed forward, and the only time you would
have had an oval open to move in there, basically,
was as he stepped right up. So a pipe put from
Dresden, basically now sandwiched between. Jules,
who just appeared, and Dresden, who is paralyzed.
But you know what? We had three options. You
chose to physically attack me when you appeared.
So I'm going to attack Jules. Dresden's not going
anywhere. Here we go. My lower attack is a 15.
Two hit. Did you say your lower attack? Yes.
Okay. Yeah, that hits. Okay. So does that mean
both hit? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Uh -oh. Ruh -roh. Shit's
supposed to get real bad. We don't have second
backups. Might be seeing a lot more at Dresden.
I'm really bad at math. Don't look at me like
that. That is a... Hang on. I'm so bad at this
right now. Okay, no. That is... Yes, 17 damage.
Oh. As he turns to you, Jules, and... swipes
at you twice. Brutal blade just cleaving, slashing
down in front of you. Cuts not vital deep, but
deep enough that you can feel the blazing pain
and the blood seeping into your clothes. You
know what? I think I like this even better. Turns
back to Dresden. Looks him right in the eyes.
Watch, brother. You stand there and watch. while
I cut your precious prince down. And then I'll
kill you. And that's his turn. I really wish
I remembered the turn order. Something interesting
is going to happen here. Next is the guys. It's
someone else's turn. It's the hostage shakers.
Before them. Rolling a die. Oh, no. I see what's
going to happen. That's actually badass. Before
anyone else goes, Jules, you're kind of falling
back. Blood. Dripping down to the cobbles, Dresden
watching, watching, but unable to move, unable
to act, as Jessen turns towards Jules, getting
ready to deliver another blow, just preparing
himself. Suddenly from the side, a figure crashes
into him. I'm using the shove action, basically,
to push Jessen away. As Grindy steps forward,
no, no, no, no! I actually rolled pretty high
with it. Jessen just slides. Not our prince.
Not our hope. And Grindy stands one arm forward,
protecting you, Jules. And that's his turn. Nobody
you see goes. Crispin, things are going south
in there. And you're up. Okay. Crispin can hear
that shit's going down. In his dire wolf form,
he begins to move. And as a bonus action goes
into a rage. Oh, that's right. Oh, my gosh. This
guy. So he comes reminiscent to the last time
Dresden or Crispin. Why do I do that so much?
It's the inn. You guys did it to yourself. Reminiscent
to the last time Crispin wild shaped. He comes
skittering around the corner. goes to the wall
that is mechanically only 10 feet away from him
and climbs up the wall. Holy shit. Oh, shit.
All right, I'll need an athletics check as part
of this movie. Yes. And I use the dire wolf stats,
right? So the dire wolf has a plus three strength,
so I use that, correct? Yes. Okay. Here, I really
kind of think is where I need my button. Because
when, if... Crispin can get up there and attack
this cultist. That is going to break the whole
person. Damn. That's my justification for why
I'm giving David a button. Okay, okay. It's similar
to the other one. I think there's a little pile
of rubble at the bottom. You can kind of get
your legs and pounce up, get a good ways up.
There are some places you can really dig your
claws into as you rise. Yeah, it's going to be
the same DC I had in mind before. Okay, and I'm
not worried about movement because the dire wolf,
we're calling it a dire coyote. The dire wolf
stat block has 50 feet of movement. Holy shit,
this is cool. That's incredible. All right, two
rolls. Here we go. The last thing I expected
was a dire coyote around the corner. Holy shit,
holy shit. First roll was bad. Two on the die.
Oh my gosh. The next one's not a lot better.
That's an 11. I wanted a DC 10. I was hoping
so. Zebulon couldn't hit it. Yeah. But Crispin
the coyote, he got there. All right. You just
dig up, pounce, claws, raking. And this figure
is like holding his hand out, trying to keep
Dresden smiling. And all of a sudden, he can't
even see you until you're there because he's
like on the second floor looking down. And his
vision is cut off by this huge, like beast fur
and fangs right in his face. I have an argument
to make. I'll hear you. Jamal. Yes. Would you
classify Jamal as an ally? I'll give you that.
Crispin, in Dire Coyote form, has pack tactics,
which give him advantage on attack rolls against
a creature if it's at least... if at least one
of the wolf's allies are within five feet of
that creature. So you climb to the top, you go
to attack, and I think, like, this cultist stumbles
back, and all of a sudden Jamal just kind of,
like... You know, I imagine Jaws really, his
hands are, like, tied in front, and he just kind
of shoulders into the cultist from behind, like,
yeah, yeah, get me a big scary dog guy. Come
on, get him. And just, like, trying to tackle
him from behind, giving you a slight opportunity
to just, like, move in and mow this guy down.
All right. I'm going to use Bite, which is really
the only attack that this dire coyote has. Plus
five to hit. Let's go for two. 16 was the higher.
16 will hit. Excellent. So that's 2d6 plus 3.
8 damage total. Oh, did you add your strength
modifier? No, exactly. I just was about to go
back to that page for that reason. I think it's
just plus 2. I think it's just base plus 2. Yes,
that's correct. Plus 2. So that's 10 damage then.
Okay. Oh, shoot. Let me just show you. I put
you on the second map. You're on the upper floor
now. That's the situation on the second floor
if you guys want to take a peek. Okay. Sweet.
Okay, so you're, like, hanging off the edge,
like, just kind of barely hanging on, swiping
with your claws, you know, scratch this guy across
the chest. Jamal kind of hands tied beside you,
trying to tackle into him, pushing him against
the wall. And absolute chaos on the second floor.
Here's the question. You did some damage. Fela's
still up, but I do need to roll a constitution
saving throw. to see if I keep concentration
on hold person. Here we go. To DC 10 right now.
With a four on the die. Holy shit. As this claw
rakes into him. Once again, Dresden Kellig, you
are saved. It worked! You had a ready to action!
You break free. You have a ready to action. And
you have a ready to action. I did. I did. And
Jessenth, even though he was pushed back, is
still five feet away from you. You see Jessenth
is kind of ready to, like, cut down Grindy. His
eyes turned away. And you know what? Because
Grindy came in and did that kind of cool thing
and, like, he rolled well, I'm going to give
you advantage in this attack. Because Jessenth
is not looking at you. He's looking at Jules.
He's looking at Grindy. And Dresden, you're supposed
to be full paralyzed. Right. That's pretty cool.
Right. That's generous. Okay. That means it's
really bad, though, if he's giving us that many.
Yeah. Well. My ready to action. Ooh, it's not
an attack. Hey, be honest. I'll work with whatever
you got. I'm very excited. I'm curious. Out of
transparency and honesty, my ready to action
wasn't an attack. Whoa. Whoa. I have to roll
with that. Yeah, I think you're supposed to say
what the action is when you're readying it, aren't
you? I trust you guys. And because I trust you
and because you're honest with me, take this
button. Nice. Thanks. All right. So do what you
were going to do, and we'll play it out. We'll
work with it. Well, because Dresden's, or Jessen's
turn is done. He's finished his turn. I'm going
to manifest my echo behind him. Oh, okay. There
you go. That's not bad. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's
a good move. Yep. But it's not my turn, so I
can't take an additional action to attack, which
is why I'm like, ah, shit. Right. But that was
my ready to action. So my echo manifests in a
shimmery mist right behind Jessen. so like i
love this beautiful dire coyote attacking from
like the second story you know just like the
sort of opening in this broken stone and masonry
um and as this happens we hear this guard screaming
we look down and we see uh uh justin this sort
of backed up grindy one arm up sort of protecting
jewels jewels bleeding standing at the ready
dresden suddenly able to move again arms like
you know come down and like a shadow The echo
appears behind Justin. He, like, kind of backs
into it, and he looks around. Justin's surrounded
on four sides. Not like this! And that's going
to be the cultists. Ruh -roh. This is where shit
gets real. Okay. Spiritual weapon. Once again,
a great spiritual horn. Spectral, just like this
curled horn of some demon materializing in the
air just behind you, just hanging outside of
the tower and goes to drive itself into your
back, Crispin. And I'm guessing it's going to
miss. Okay. With a 10. Yes. Okay. Which leads
me to a question. What do I add for my... My
armor class bonus here because I'm a barbarian.
And does that add on to the Dire Coyotes AC?
Because the Dire Coyote has a 14 AC. But Crispin
gets a boost because... You get... Oh, I don't
know if that follows through on your... Oh, really?
Good question, though. Let me check. Okay, so
I will say that because when you Wild Shape,
your stats become the stats of the creature.
So when it says your armor class equals 10 plus
your dex plus your con, that would be the dex
and con of the creature since that's your current
stat. Okay, that's fine. It's still a plus 4
then. So would that make the AC 18 instead of
14? It would be 14 because it's 10 plus your
dex. Oh, I see, I see. Gotcha, gotcha. Okay.
Gotcha. Then there we are, 14. It's a very interesting
query, but I think that's the way we'd go about
it, is, like, just using, just recounting. That
makes sense to me. That makes sense to me. Yeah,
exactly. Okay. So, yeah, I miss, you know, that
you sort of lean your back down, and the blade,
or the whore just, like, sweeps by your fur.
Guy pulls out a twisted knife, and he moves in
to attack you twice with it. Of course he does.
That's one hit with a 15. Okay. And one miss.
I have seven dice here, but I don't see a d4.
Yeah, looks like you got two d6 there. Oh, this
is a d4. Whoa, I've never seen this before. See
this? It's a square d4. Holy shit. That's really
cool. Wow. Two of the edges just can't be rolled.
Kitty dice, man. They're cool. Not that cool,
because I only got four damage halved because
you're in rage. Nice. Two damage. Sweet. Let's
see if my other guy does better. as the other
figure from the other side of the sort of open
mouth there steps forward on his own sort of
flat and sort of crumbled second story building
or second story room. And good visual on you.
Spiritual weapon again. And this one's going
to hit. So another horn appears right beside
the one, this one where you dodge the first one.
This one drives deep into flesh. I'm also going
to make, oh, I can't make two attacks. Nevermind.
So I'll sacred flame at you as well. So we'll
do all my things, so why don't you make a deck
save while I calculate my damage? Okie doke.
That's just a seven for the save. Okay. You take
a total of ten damage. Oof. Seven of which is
force damage from the horn driving into you,
and three of which is radiant damage from the
burning fire that lights on your back. This guy
just, two hands out, starts slinging spells at
you. Ouchie mama. And those are not halved. Okay,
right. That's Zebulon. Zebulon, you just went
around that corner, turned around the stone,
and all this got scared, and you just kind of
start hearing shit go down hard. All hell breaks
loose. Yeah. He looks at the stone of far speech
in his hand. They haven't asked for help. I have
a job to do. And he puts the stone of far speech
away in a close pocket, maybe in a breast pocket
or something. And he pulls out the recording
diamond, starts to record, and moves to the door.
I'm going to give you this. We had a lot of,
like, talk, a lot of things just happened there.
Zebulon will start this turn at the door. Oh.
I'm not interested in wasting time on you spending
a whole turn moving. Nice. We had a lot of, like,
time -wise, it just makes sense that you would
be already at least at the door after all the
talk and shit that just happened right there,
you know? Okay. And there's really no sense in...
drawing this out. I don't know what's going to
happen, but he's just going to go for it and
open the door. Okay. You move to the back door.
As you open the door, muffled sounds inside begin
to, like, just grow louder and louder. You can
hear, like, voices from sort of farther in the
building. Basically just, what's happening? What's
going on? What do we do? There's just people
just yelling. Sounds like people who are in some
sort of position of power here. You hear screaming.
You hear crying. You look into this one small
room about 20 by 20 feet. And you see a single
guard turns to the open door that has no one
in it. But this guard is like panicked, soared
out. And it looks like he was reaching for the
knob to open the door behind him. And you hear
the screaming coming from that room. So on the
south side, this guard's about to make a move.
He looks back at the door. But I will say he
doesn't see anything, and he turns back to what
he's about to do, like opening this room, going
in sword drawn to where you know there are people.
Oh, okay. Gotcha. Totally. So Zebulon's going
to not let him do that. What a hero. You caught
him in a secret act. Yeah. So Zebulon's going
to move up to him. As he moves through the door,
he's going to drop the recording diamond. My
hope is that it'll continue to record. And because
of something that he has, oh, my dual wielder
feat, he can freely draw his swords and go in
for two attacks on this baddie. You attack with
advantage while you're invisible. But after you
attack once. I was going to say, the first one
probably, yeah. All right, so I'm going to roll
three attacks. Let's see what hits. Okay, I rolled
the first one with advantage. That was an 18
for the first attack. Just a 14 for the second.
Okay. That first attack does hit. Okay, and the
second one does not. Actually, you know what?
I didn't give these guys shields. They both hit.
Just barely. Excellent. All right. And give me
just a second. Sorry, I need to... Check through.
That's right. Yes. Rakish Audacity. I don't need
advantage on the attack roll to get sneak attack
damage if I'm within five feet of an enemy and
no creatures are within five feet of it. Oh,
my gosh. Sneak attack on both then? Yeah. Oh,
shit. That's how Zebulon gets his damage off
being solo out in the battlefield. Going rogue.
Yeah. That's 1d8 plus four twice. Then the sneak
attack is 2d6, so I'll roll my 4 bone d6 for
that. Let's do the rapier damage first. I just
realized I'm glad you failed that grapple, because
Jules is still poisoned, so that would have been
a wedgie. So that's 18 rapier damage. Holy shit.
Don't worry about it. Oh, really? This guy...
It's already dead. Holy shit. Oh, yeah, I remember
these guys were weenies. They're not the strongest.
You just cut through this guy's armor like nothing.
Describe it. Yeah, this guy turns to open the
door, and Zebulon's first swing from invisibility
lops his hand right off before it gets to the
doorknob. Oh, shit. That's so cool. And then
the second one, the guy turns up and looks, is
surprised. And Zebulon just puts a slash right
across his chest and he falls to the floor. Just
falls over. And he's got like this armor tube.
You just rake right into it. Blood pouring. He
falls to the side. He did not get to reach for
the doorknob fully. So the door is still closed,
but you hear a sudden advent of screaming on
the other side. Oh boy. I don't think he has
anything. I don't think I can open the door this
turn. Can I? Object interaction. Yeah. Oh, okay.
Great. Yeah. Let's throw the door open. He's
going to step up five more feet and open the
door. You open the door. You see there are five
hostages in the middle of the room. Their hands
are tied. They're sitting on the floor. You see
a number of general low city folk, two dwarves,
a half -orc, a human woman just all looking around,
looking terrified, not looking at you, looking
at the other side of the room where two doors
are slowly starting to open. You hear a voice
on their side just saying, like, go, follow orders,
take them out, do as Jensen's commanded. And
you hear another bout of screaming from upstairs.
I was going to say that's six hostages. Somewhere
directly above you, you hear more shouts of guards,
more people. Did you pull that diamond with you?
No, I dropped it on the floor. Fuck me. Well,
I mean, you're still invisible. No, not after
attacking. Oh, fuck. It's up to David to decide
what direction the diamond has pointed in. But
either way, I got to worry about the hostages
more than the recording diamonds. So Sebulon
steps to the door and he hears this. He takes
his two sabers, slaps them out to each side,
and a little bit of blood drips off of each one.
He looks at the hostages and just says, Run out
this door behind me and don't stop until you're
safe. Okay. With that, That actually is going
to be, now fully getting the turn, the guards
who push into the room. But where they were kind
of moving in, their eyes go down to the hostages.
But then the eyes shoot up towards you, Zebulon.
Their swords are out. They see blood dripping
from yours. They see the guard post at the other
door is gone. And they're going to circle around
the room to go after you, running past the helpless
hostages. And they can both just reach you. Bring
it. All right. Wait, the guards were before?
Yes, they haven't actually done anything yet
this whole time. I've got my dual wielder feat.
My two swords are out, so AC is up to 17. Okay,
with flanking bonus, because they bolt to each
one side of you, one of them does hit. The other
one does miss. Only does four points of damage,
unfortunately. With a spear, it comes out. Or
a sword. I said it's fear in the chassis. I said
sword already. Takes a sword, rakes at you with
three -point standards. Blood splatters. And
you hear above you the sounds of crashing. It
sounds like people are crashing against wood.
Buffled sounds. Get out of there! Get down! Get
out of there! Get out of there! Some trouble
is happening upstairs, and I think you hear one
of the hostages now, this half -orc man, just,
My wife! My wife, please! She's up there! Please!
Please! Crispin, that's you. All right. That
was kind of my plan with Crispin anyways, was
to clear the upstairs. So Crispin's going to
go in for another bite on this guy. I'm guessing
Jamal is still giving me pack tactics. Yeah,
I'll give it to you. What's up? I thought Zeb
was first in the round. Zeb was first in the
round. Something happened here. You're right.
Yeah, Zeb was first in the round. Crispin's like
after Dresden. Crispin got an eight. I don't
remember what Zeb got. Crispin's after. No, you're
right. You're right. It must not have been pressing
the tracker or something because, yeah, you're
right. The cool fanatics would have gone, and
it would have been Zeb. I'm like, excuse me?
So the guards went early this turn, but they're
going to skip the turn now. Because it goes Zeb
and then Dresden. They'll be dead. They'll be
dead. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. No, I totally
forgot. You're right. So. The guards have been
active at this point, but yes, I guess I've been
pressing the turn thing, but must not have gone
through the last few times because I was glowing
on the wrong person. Easy fix. Guards skip their
next turn. They got to go early because they
were, I don't know, more ready than you. They
wanted it more. That's going to be Dresden Jewels.
Crispin, you can have your turn later. Get out
of here. You worry about one guy and one guy
only. Just fucking take him out. So here's the
thing. You got flanking bonus. What's the thing?
Watch this, though. Watch this, though. Flanking
boneage. Look at the second paragraph. This is
what I'm doing. Okay. Just roll with it. Okay.
Just roll with it. What's happening? What's happening?
What is that? Can I see that again? Can I see
where that came from? Okay. So that'll be pretty
much his turn. Is that a bonus? No, it's not.
What's going on? No, just I'm trying something
different here. I'm all for it. I'm trying something
different here. I just want to see that man dead.
Yes. Oh, yeah. So this may or may not work. I
don't know. Of course, I want to see him dead,
too. Your character's life's realistic. I fully
intend on, yes, but just wait. So as a bonus
action, Jules is going to cast Bardic Inspiration
onto Dresden. Good move. And as an action, Jules
is going to cast Minor Illusion. David, I would
like you to voice Jessin screaming, abort, abort.
In the courtyard, on me, now. Holy shit. That's
pretty fucking good. Okay. I would like you to
pair this. You create a sound or an image of
an object within range. The range is 30 feet.
Yes. The sound can be loud or soft. It can be
loud or soft. Yes. I think this is actually totally
by books. It's up to David to decide. You're
weaving this sound out there. I want Jules to
make a persuasion check. I'm going to give you
advantage because it's really cool, which will
counterbalance your poison. So it's a straight
roll. Oh, yeah, fair. Okay, so what is it? Persuasion?
Yes. Okay. This is... really, really cool. And
I'm going to voice it based on how well your
persuasion works. At your point, you're sick.
Maybe it doesn't come out like you're kind of
trying to create this and it doesn't come out
quite right. That's fair. It's an intelligence
role to see if it's... Because I'm going to have
Zebulon roll against it. Okay. Well, I mean,
also Dresden hasn't gone yet and he also has
the stone. Well, right. But if the guards can
hear it, I assume Zebulon can hear it. Right.
I just want to know if Zebulon can determine
whether or not it's actually... Would that determine
whether he runs down there or not, too? Well,
no, but I don't know what it's going to determine.
I just want to... That is a 19 on the die. Plus
8. So that is a 27 on persuasion. Ringing out
from the courtyard in this perfect... Perfect
impression of Justin's voice. Just... Abort!
Abort! Everybody to the courtyard on me now!
Justin just whips around. What? No! No, what?
He even kind of flummoxed, like, hearing this.
And in that moment, Dresden is taking his turn.
Oh, shit! And moving up and grabbing Justin.
Can I shut his mouth with my hand? Let's make
it a... Grapple check. What are we going for,
athletics? Is that it? Yes. I'm a little concerned,
Jeremy. Why? Because Justin hasn't taken any
damage, and you just called his remaining guards
to his side. We're trying to keep the hostages
safe. Playing like superheroes. This is Jules
and Dresden. All right. We're trying to keep
the hostages safe. Advantage on my check. Give
me that. Oh, shit. 19. No, I did not! You grab
him, shut his mouth. He is grappled. And we zoom
very quickly back down into the house, downstairs,
as these guards are surrounding Zebulon. You
hear another crash of stairs, and you hear this
voice ring out. And immediately you hear footsteps
up the stairs, trapping away. The guards facing
you do not move. I'm just saying that they basically,
like, they're moving. Okay. They are reacting.
They did get the turn. They're just skipping
their next turn. Sure, sure. Yeah. So, yeah,
you're aware that this did work on the guards
upstairs. Okay. The guards downstairs, they're
engaged. They're going to kill you first. No,
they're not. So, in terms of Dresden's turn,
I would imagine that what I just did counted
as my action. Yes, that's your action. So I'm
going to use action surge. Oh, shit. So I can
take one additional action on my turn. Now one
additional action is going to be an attack from
my echo. Okay. Now do I get flanking? You do
get flanking, yes. I can see it's fucking surrounded.
Yes. So that's just plus two, right? Plus two.
Plus two. I feel like I ask this every time.
Grapple does not add advantage. Okay. Cool. I
knew it was coming. Rules as written and it doesn't.
It seems strange, but if you were to like grapple
someone and then push them. like shove them down,
then they cannot get up because their speed is
zero. So that's how you can get advantage with
it. Someday I'll remember that. And someday we
won't have to have this conversation. All right.
So I'm going in for an attack with my echo. All
right. And I do not have that magic shield around
me this time. I did not cast shield of faith.
I don't think it would have done anything anyway,
because that is a fuck math. Fuck math. Fuck
math, right? That's a 24 to hit. That's going
to hit for sure. Damage is 1d8 plus 5. That is
a 6 on the die plus 5, so that is 11 for damage,
but no, I'm going to take the 11 damage. Okay.
Just screams out, just grabs, or tries to scream
out, can't quite, hand over his mouth, but Blade
just rips down his back, still grappled, kind
of like he's able to move freely his arms and
stuff, but he can't. move his feet. He cannot
get away from you. His speed is zero. And he's
starting to bleed. That's both your turns. Which
means it's now Jessen's turn. I didn't know where
you were going with that. I didn't either. Good
shit. Thank you. Beneath Dresden's hand, he is
here. As Jessen weaves out with his sword twice
at Jules. Still going to make good on that promise.
I'm taking out the prince, and I'm going to make
my brother watch. Well, Jules is going down.
Yeah. That is one hit. Seven damage. Has my sword.
Hoax true. I slashed Jules twice before, and
he's just going to try to drive right, sort of
in the middle of the X kind of thing, right into
Jules' abdomen, just plunging the blade into
flesh. How much did you say? Seven. Okay, Jules
is down. Jules slides off the blade, drops in
the courtyard. Grindy, no, just screams out.
And that's the last thing Jules hears as he falls
into a consciousness. That's all Justin's going
to do. Grindy flies in with his one arm and clocks.
Jessent in the face for one damage. Go Grindy.
Hell yeah. Single unarmed attack. Literal unarmed
attack. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Just boom. Punches
him. You bastard. Just clocks him good. Still
standing tall there. With that, it's my guards
who are skipping their turn because they already
went. And so we're going to move on to Crispin.
Crispin. All right. Going in for that advantage.
bite uh good for thing good thing for the advantage
that's a 21 that'll hit all right so that's a
2d6 plus three that's only seven damage oh my
goodness um i i forgot about this last time so
hand off the chess piece but If the target is
a creature, it must succeed on a DC 13 strength
saving throw or be knocked prone. Oh, right.
Okay. Plus you get nine damage because you got
two more for rage. Yes. Thank you. Oh, my goodness.
Thank goodness Dave is here to play my character
for me. What's the DC? 13. 13. I pass. Just for
shits and giggles, give me a second one just
to pretend that it was... I would have failed.
Damn. Shit. All right. I would have failed by
one, actually. That's fine. That's fine. So you
go to chum down. He's sort of holding his own
against you, barely keeping his feet. Man, I
really want this guy to die. Tearing into him.
He looks pretty bad now. Okay. It's now going
to be his turn. So let's make this quick. Two
daggers, one spiritual weapon. Make a dex save
for me while we're at it. 19 on the dex save.
That's a lot of dice for a little turn. Next
thing goes what? 19. Okay. So I only hit you.
Another spiritual weapon comes down. It does
hit for very little damage, only four damage
force, so not halved. You then take four dagger
damage, which will be halved to two, so you take
six damage total. My other dagger goes wide to
the mark. My sacred flame I shoot at you goes
wide to the mark. All right. Second spiritual
weapon, wide to the mark. Wow. Okay, great. Not
a great turn for me. You've managed to dodge
around all this. There's projectiles around you,
fire, like white fire, black fire burning on
you. These great sort of spiritual horns trying
to drive into you. Only one sinks in, just barely
grazing your sort of arm, shoulder, ripping into
it. You're holding your own just fine. And that's
those two cultists. That's Zebulon. Okay. Zebulon
looks to his right, looks to his left. Who's
first? Does anybody flinch? You know what? You
have bloody weapons. Give me an intimidation
check. Three on the die plus one. No one flinches.
Nobody flinches. All right, then I'll choose.
And he swings twice at the guard to his right.
Seven on the die for a 13 for the first one.
The second one was a natural one. A 13 and a
one, huh? A 13 and a one. That's two misses.
Oh, no. That's really bad. There is really nothing
else that I can do, I don't think. Whoops. Yikes.
And unfortunately, that is the end of Zebulon's
turn. That really sucks. It's rough, yeah. Hey,
you're still holding their attention, but they're
certainly not flinching now. Yeah. Zebulon tries
so hard to be cool, and you do such a good job
playing him cool, your dice don't follow through.
I know. Crispin gets all the good rolls. I just
don't get it. It's some sort of fate. The universe
wants to shit on Zebulon. Oh, hell yeah. Okay,
back to Dresden and Jules outside. Okay, so I
have a minor wedgie that I totally... It didn't...
really fuck anything up, but I totally forgot
that my fighting style, it gives me dueling,
so when I am wielding one melee weapon, I get
plus two bonus to damage. Oh, hell yeah. So,
I'm going to remember that going forward, because
that could have been 13 damage instead of 11.
I'll take the damage. We know what the set number
is. It's not like we're rolling anything. I'll
drop it on my guy. Okay. Uh, fuck. You want to
make your death roll first or after with jewels?
Dresden is going to shove Jess in. as far as
he can push him, turn over two jewels, and give
him a potion of greater healing. Oh, shit. All
right, for a shove action, it's going to be athletics
versus athletics to see if you can push him away.
I mean, even if I don't push him away, he's still
going to let go and go down and give it to him.
This is just trying to get some distance. Yeah,
okay. That is an 18. Ooh, um... Huh. If you use
a shove action, that would be your action, and
delivering a potion is also an action. Right.
Yeah. Oh, so the shove would be an action. So
you could... You can move with him, so you can
just get to Jules and do it, but you wouldn't
be able to technically shove. I have an idea.
Sure. What would it cost to hand the potion to
Grindy? Is it possible to do that and hold the
grapple? I will call that an object interaction.
You could shove him away or hold the grapple
and give it to Grindy. then maybe you can make
a move action. You can make a move action and
try to get him away from Jules, because right
now he's still within Jules' reach. So he can
still attack Jules. Right. But I can also attack
him as well. Object interaction. Does that count
as an action? No, that's an object interaction.
You can pass the potion, then you can move action,
drag him away, and then you can action attack.
If you push someone down prone too, Because you
can either push them five feet away, or you can
push them prone. And since you already have them
grappled, I wouldn't be able to move or do anything,
basically. I could only, like, disadvantageously
try to attack you. Okay, because I won that,
didn't I? 18. I'm not telling. Okay. Well, yes,
that's what's going to happen. Grindy, get Jules.
And he tosses the potion to Grindy. Grindy snatches
it out of the air, just, like, nods to you, and
it just goes to work. And as that's happening,
I push with an 18. And I fail with a one on the
die. You got a natural one? With a natural one,
he absolutely goes. Tell you what, I'll give
you a double. I was going to say, how far did
you move? I'm going to say that because I got
a natural one, he goes prone and he moves five
feet, which means he's away from Jules. You move
him away five feet. He's away from Jules. He
cannot attack Jules. You, like, throw him over
your... I mean, you want to grab him and you,
like, hand the potion over. Use all your strength
to pivot, twist, drop him down. He's grappled.
He's restrained. And he's away from Jules and
cannot hurt Jules anymore. Right. That is what
you get for that natural one. Okay. So. So I
basically had you twist him around and dropped
him between you and the Echo. So now you and
the Echo are just standing over him as our Dresden
Echo is standing over him as Jules is on the
ground. Grindy turning with a potion to feed
it to him. Okay. So. Then that is Dresden's turn.
Okay. Jessent is on the ground. Just like still
bleeding. Now. grappled, held to the ground,
just screeching out, trying to move, trying to
do anything he can. Hands still over his mouth,
because why not, as both Dresden and his Echo
stand above him. I told you there was another
way. It didn't have to be like this. Now you
die. Holy shit! I need Jules to make a death
save. That's a fucking two. So that's one fail.
Oh, boy, this is rough because now it is Jessen,
and he's in a really bad place. Oh, this sucks.
Okay. I can still attack with this advantage.
Okay. I'm going to try to break the grapple.
I'm going to try to break the athletics contest.
Let's do this thing. 22. Two on the die face.
Holy shit. just fully down. You're getting a
better grip on him as he's wriggling, trying
to get out. His eyes go wide as he realizes that
maybe, just maybe, you're telling the truth and
this is the end. With that, Grindy leans over
and Justin's eyes go wide, ballistic, as he watches
Grindy pouring the potion in to Jules' mouth.
You may roll to heal. Should I roll for once
or one at a time? Up to you. No, tell me what
to do. What's the die? Is it a d6? It's 4d4 plus
4. How many d4s you got in front of you there?
Four. Go for it, man. Yeah, go all four. Fuck
it. Let's avoid a three -parter. Nice and quick.
Got it. And they're all blessed, too, by the
way. Excellent. Everything on here is blessed.
Excellent. That's an extra plus one, right? Yeah.
Yep. So that's 11 points. Your wound, your chest.
And your gut just starts to close. And Jules'
eyes open, looking up to an old man just smiling
down at you. Jules. Jules. Thank you. Show him
that they can't kill our hope. Shit, I was trying
to think of some epic line. Something cool to
say. But it's too late now. All you get it is
a thank you grindy That's all you get my brain
is so frazzled right now. I don't know which
way is up and down. It's a lot. This is a complex
combat. Let me roll a couple of Texans I'll be
on real quick 17 good luck you suckers. Oh 17.
Yeah. No, I actually missed twice. Damn. Holy
shit. Just swords go out. You just dodge them
both. The people in the room are just watching
this display. You can hear footsteps above you
moving now as guards are cutting towards the
stairs. You can hear them start thundering down
the stairs to the north of you on their way down.
You haven't seen a staircase here yet, but you
can assume where it is. Yeah, behind me. Quick
question. Have the hostages run? They're tied
up. And also... you're in the way of the door.
They're basically going to start moving away
from the door. Well, yeah, because you can move
through an allied space. Yeah, and I guess, yeah,
okay. If Justin is down and incapacitated, then,
yeah. Okay, we're good. They're at least shuffling,
we'll say, towards the door and trying to move
away from the combat, trying to follow on what
Zebulon said and get as far away as they can.
And upstairs, the screaming sounds like it's
died down as the figures that were crashing through
the door up there are now on their way to the
courtyard. Those hostages are, for now, it seems,
protected. Okay. Crispin, that's you. All right.
I need to take this guy out for the love of God.
All right. That's a 21 on his bite. That'll do
it. With the rage damage, that's 12. Barely.
barely alive as you tear into him. Oh no! He's
like, legs are shaking. He's almost falling over.
Alright, um, DC 13 strength check. Oh yeah! Strength
save, sorry. Absolute fail with a three. Okay,
excellent. I'm gonna give you this because this
is cool. He's barely alive anyway. You bite into
him as he fails that strength check. You toss
him over your shoulder. He Falls down is going
to take 1d6 falling damage. Excellent. All right.
I'll take a free kill. And dies. Excellent. Just,
no! Willhelm scream. Splats in the courtyard
below you. All right. Now I want to use the Dire
Coyote's keen hearing and smell. The Dire Coyote
has advantage on wisdom perception checks that
rely on hearing or smell. Um, I want to see if
what I can glean about what's going on on the
second floor. Give me a perception with advantage.
Let's see what you got. Damn. Just 11. Uh, yeah,
you don't know. Okay. Then, um, with his 50 feet
of movement, um, Crispin is going to start to
move through the second floor, uh, as far as
he can get. Put you on that map. Okay, second
floor. Yeah, this guy totally falls off. I think
Jamal just steps to the side, just like, thank
you, dog friend. I'm Jamal. And just move past.
You're out of there. So it seems like you can
get somewhere in this sort of area. How do you
open a door? What's it look like? With his teeth?
I don't know. All right, cool. Can a dire wolf
open a door with teeth? I'm cool if you're cool.
I'll go with it. I'd argue that he's big enough
to break down a door. Sure. You bash through
the first door, basically going into another
small room. You see a door on each side. The
door to the north of where you stand, which basically
would enter the hallway where you would be above
Zebulon. You can hear the sounds of footsteps
retreating down that way. You can hear people
sort of like, little sounds of people just kind
of talking and then Jonah crying and sort of
soft. Okay. Give me one sec here. This map, so
gorgeous. Once again, I'll show you the whole
thing. It's amazing. Yeah. All right, so I just
want to get it out there. On Crispin's next turn,
if he can't reach and attack an enemy, then he
will fall out of rage. Okay. I just want to put
that out there because it's probably going to
happen. And that's the end of his turn. Okay.
You have moved away. My cultists can no longer
attack you. I have one cultist left. Spiritual
weapon. One of them flashes out. The other one's
going to zoom down towards Dresden. Oh, that's
right. And miss. Dresden, make a dex save. Hey.
That's a 19. Fire bursts next to you. You weave
out of the way just easily. Still grappling.
You're like, maybe like roll with Jessenth. And
just the fire bursts. Figurative swears. And
you are fine. Zebulon, that's you. Can you do
something this turn? Do something, Zebulon! Yep,
Zebulon's going to attack the same baddie to
his right twice. First was an 18, second was
just a 9. Okay, first one hits. 9 damage. Still
up, very injured. Crap, I was afraid of that.
Give me one quick check to look through my bonus
actions here. You know, I can use Steady Aim
on a melee attack, too. Yeah, you can. Well,
not anymore. I can't because it's the end of
my turn. I mean, it'll cost nothing for you to
take that self -harm. Just give me a free second
roll on that. You already hit, so just add the
Sneak Attack. You would have gotten more Steady
Aim. That just cleanly fixes it. I can't do Sneak
Attack because I have another creature within
five feet of me. Well, you have advantage, though,
with Steady Aim. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Oh, okay.
So just add your Sneak Attack die and see if
that'll finish him. because it's a really easy
fix. So it's like, I'm cool with going back and
fixing a turn up if it's a real simple fix like
that, you know? Sure, yeah. It's just like, add
another die of damage? Why not? Well, it's 2d6
damage. Hell yeah. See if you can get him. First
one was a six. He's dead. Okay, sweet. Excellent
then. Fuck yeah. So yeah, the actuality. So it's
one of those things you cut him and he's all
like, heh, I'm still. And then he just falls
in half. And then like anime blood starts to
squirt out of his wound. That sound it always
makes. You turn towards the other guy, and this
time he flinches. Jules and Dresden, back to
middle of the courtyard with you. Okay, so as
a bonus action, Jules is going to cast Bardic
Inspiration onto himself. Now remind me about
the poison, because I keep getting those mixed
up. Joe, disadvantage on attack rolls. On attack
rolls, okay. And checks, ability checks. Okay.
You also have advantage against Jessenth right
now, so it would break even. Right, so it would
break even? Yep. Okay. So, question. When a spell
requires a melee attack roll, do I get the unarmed
strike plus two? It would be your spell attack
bonus. Holy shit. Seriously? Yeah. Holy shit.
It just means that you have to hit them with
attack and melee range, but you get your spell
attack bonus, so it's pretty good. Holy shit.
It's pretty good. Holy shit. You have a big -ass
charisma number. You're a suave motherfucker.
Holy shit. Kill this man. Holy shit. Kill this
man. Jules, very slowly, in badass fashion, walks
up to where Jessenth is being held down. Holy
shit. Kneels on one knee. Who's fucked now? Oh,
shit. And with Jessenth looking at Jules, Jules
removes his glove. Oh, no, he doesn't have the
glove anymore. Oh, that's right, yeah. So actually,
Jules is going to just lean his hand down in
front of Justin's face, wiggle his fingers a
little bit, place his hand over Justin's eyes,
and cast Inflict Wounds. Okay. I'm going for
it. Go for it. I'm fucking going for it. Take
a flanking bonus. Next is the no -no zone. Guys
surrounded, yeah, you can easily slot in. That's
a plus eight on this. Ooh, boy. Holy shit. Get
him. Advantage. Don't. No. Roll. Not because.
No, it's straight. Yep. Good catch. Jeremy, don't
roll low! You rolled low! I'm also going to use
my Bardic Inspiration die, though. Don't tell
him what it is yet. Don't tell him what it is
yet. Of course, I don't think it matters. I don't
think it matters. I wouldn't waste it. I wouldn't
waste it. Well, no, I'm just also thinking that
that probably doesn't matter what bonuses I have.
Yeah. Whoops. Whoops. It's a natural one. I'm
not even looking at his face because I know what
his face is. A natural one on inflict wounds.
Yeah. That's the worst thing I could possibly
get with inflict wounds. That's really bad. Jules.
That's really bad. Reaches down in this moment
filled with hate. Filled with hate. Which is
very fitting because of what I just said. You
reach down. He's been waiting for this for weeks.
I told you not to roll low. Tell the dice that,
okay? Your hand presses down on him. He's screaming
out. So in this moment, in this moment of pure
darkness, in this moment of pure, just vindictive
rage, pain blazes through your body. And we are
having a three -parter because we'll call it
there. Oh my God.