For all we know robots have souls, we just don't know if they do or don't.
How do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet?
Fuckin' up.
No, no, we are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole.
Yes, we are.
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts.
Extended episodes.
Where the fuck did the gearmen come from?
Where the fucking stonehenge come from?
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
They're killing all the already born babies and selling them to the Chinese.
The alien is being snipped as a human being.
Somewhere in China, alright, in some bays, there are super soldiers that are at least
nine or ten feet tall.
I'm talking to a shotgun.
They have bread and super soldiers.
Then they are extraterrestrials.
They are aliens.
I do not know the alien with them.
What the fuck do I do?
I'm not a fucking alien with them.
What?
14.
Four.
4.
5.
21
22
21
Because he was originally from England when he was a kid.
And I guess he never became a citizen.
So after 20 years they were like, all right, bye.
Oh no, he got arrested, that's why.
21, 21.
I'm Casey, I'm here with Tyler and Dan's on his way.
I'm a slaughtered gang pussy.
So I see you're eating saltine crackers there.
Yeah, they're stale.
Do you ever do the saltine cracker challenge?
I did.
You want to you want to try them for the podcast?
You can do it.
No, you can do it.
I'm going to come on.
Dude, I'm savoring these.
Dude, all you have to do is eat six crackers in a minute.
You think you can do that?
No, I know I can't.
You physically can't.
I guess.
No, you can.
Some people can because some people have more saliva production.
I don't.
Are you sure you've done it?
Yeah, I've done it.
I just can't fucking do it.
Oh man, you're like, you're like staring at those crackers like it's like,
no, you can do it.
You can do it.
Here we go.
Oh, don't spit on the fucking floor.
I didn't spit on the floor.
I meant to spit on my cigarette case and then it just fucking.
Oh God, whatever, man.
I'll fucking still do it.
You'll do it.
Oh, he's going for it.
Wait, I can start a timer.
Timer.
Oh, you're a fucking phone, man.
Here we go.
Less than a minute.
Yeah, it started already.
We've got 55 seconds.
Although I give you a five second buffer.
He's how many crackers eat so far three.
You're not even going to get those down.
You're putting too many in your mouth at once.
You just put a fourth one in your mouth and you got 37 seconds.
He's.
He's chilling.
He's going for it.
Oh man, he's not.
He's not looking like he's having a guy.
He's got a full mouth.
He looks like he looks like a chipmunk.
Twenty seconds.
You only got four in your mouth.
You got to get the other ones in.
You got to get the other ones in 13 seconds.
You got 10, nine, seven, six, five, four, three, two.
I was putting the other ones in.
Oh, no, he's he's done.
He's done.
Take a drink of water or whatever that is that you're drinking.
I'm very juice ice tape.
It looks like his blood, but take a drink, bro.
I got a crush.
Yeah, well, help if you fucking drink water.
Oh my God.
Wow.
How are you doing over there?
He's chugging cranberry juice now.
It's iced tea retard.
How'd that feel?
Not great.
Tested your gag reflex.
And he's eating another cracker after it.
Folks, he's eating another cracker.
It's just done.
So this week, yeah, we got to talk about China, but I think we got to wait till Dan gets
here about the what was going on with China this week.
A lot of things, not things.
The fucking cyber attack.
Yeah.
The fucking COVID thing that they were that I fucking told you guys first here.
We'll get to that.
Get to that.
But we can talk about some other shit till Dan gets here, though.
But I'll talk about my hamster a little bit.
So like three days ago, my hamster was acting all sluggish and shit.
And she was like walking around and then just went into the little house that she's got
and just fucking went to sleep and didn't wake up for like four days.
And I'm like, is she dead?
And like I went over and I was like petting her and shit.
Wasn't reacting at all.
And then this morning I woke up and she was just standing there like like a fucking hamster
and she was like, and then I read it, I read up on it.
Apparently hamsters hibernate.
Like that's a thing that they do.
I never, never knew that.
So like I was getting real upset that I thought she died.
Imagine if you buried it alive.
Yeah, that would have been awful.
And then you read that they hibernate and then you like dug it up and thought it was
a zombie hamster.
So like the Stephen King book pets cemetery.
Yeah.
Maybe that's what happened.
Maybe they were just hibernating.
Maybe they were pissed off that they fucking got buried alive.
But yeah, they can hibernate from anywhere from two to seven days.
So how often it gets cold or the weather changes like significantly.
Yeah, it does that.
But you know how it was like fucking 70 degrees like four days ago and then it was a blizzard
like two days ago.
Yeah, I think that fucked with the hamster.
That always happens in New York.
Yeah.
I saw that Biden went to Ukraine.
The Ukraine.
Yeah.
He's got a lot of balls.
No, no.
They got fucking Russian soldiers there, bro.
They got Russian soldiers in America, bro.
But he didn't go to war zone.
What do you think that the president should go to war zone?
Because it's like that song.
Why don't presidents fight the war, you know?
I thought that was Dan.
But presidents, Teddy Roosevelt wanted to go to fucking the war zone.
Well, some presidents were generals, right?
But Teddy was a major, I think.
Actually, I looked this up the other day.
How many presidents were actually in the military?
There's been a lot of five star generals that have been presidents.
You'll have to use us, Grant Dwight Eisenhower, George Washington.
There's only the only people who've been five star generals are Grant.
Let me I'll just I'll look up the thing real quick for the generals in Eisenhower, right?
Eisenhower was a five star general.
Washington.
Washington was and Grant was.
But let's see.
You as presidents who were in the military.
George Washington, general of the armies of the United States.
Thomas Jefferson was a colonel.
James Madison was a colonel.
James Monroe was a lieutenant colonel.
Jesus Christ.
Andrew Jackson was a major general.
All those people were in the American Revolution, except Andrew Jackson.
William Harrison was a major general.
John Tyler was a captain.
James K. Polk was a colonel.
William Henry Harrison.
You know that guy that guy died like a month after he became president.
Yeah, he did.
Major General Zachary Tyler Taylor.
Millard Fillmore was a major.
Franklin Pierce was a brigadier general.
James Buchanan was a private.
Abraham Lincoln was actually in the military.
He was a captain.
Everyone was in the military back then.
Andrew Johnson was a brigadier general.
Ulysses S. Grant was a five star general.
General of the army.
Rutherford B. Hayes was a major general.
James Garfield was a brigadier general.
Chester A. Arthur was a brigadier general.
Benjamin Harrison was a brigadier general.
William McHenry was a major.
Theodore Roosevelt was a lieutenant colonel.
Harry Truman was a colonel.
Fuck Harry Truman.
Dwight D. Eisenhower was a five star general.
John F. Candy was a lieutenant.
Lyndon B. Johnson was a commander.
Richard Nixon was a commander.
Gerald Ford was a lieutenant commander.
Jimmy Carter was a lieutenant.
Ronald Reagan was a captain.
George H.W. Bush was a lieutenant.
And George W. Bush was a lieutenant.
The fuck, I didn't know all those guys were in the military.
Yep, every single one of them were in the military.
Trump wasn't.
Obama wasn't.
Yep, that's why we have fucked shit.
Do you think that in order to be the president,
you should have military service?
Do you think that should be a thing?
No, but you gotta have some type of service.
Like usually the presidents have political experience
or they're lawyers or judges.
Do you think that a paramedic slash first responder
background would be good for a president?
No.
I don't know.
People have different personalities
no matter who you are.
But you gotta have some kind of experience
with like leading, right?
But I do think that people who are in the military
have a better experience than like lawyers and shit.
Yeah, well, I think you have that both.
Like all those guys who were in the military
went on to become lawyers after.
Yeah, but they were.
Become politicians.
They were in the military, though.
Yeah, it's good.
It's kind of like a like a EMS police background too.
It's kind of like military, right?
Kinda, I guess.
Like not really, but I'd say first responder background
is is is its own thing.
But yeah, Britain is rationing vegetables.
God damn it.
China's rationing fucking.
Human rights.
They got people in fucking Wuhan or whatever the city is.
Wuhan, maybe Wuhan that are like locked in their apartments
because of the pandemic from the Kung flu.
Well, like videos of them like screaming out the windows
for like asking for food.
Yeah, fucking China seems like a real fucking shitty place.
China is a shitty place.
Is that damn?
No.
Um, but Britain is now rationing vegetables.
Do you think we're gonna get to a point
where we're rationing food?
It's a sink.
Oh, I think that we're gonna get to a point
where we're gonna have fucking like Soviet style rations
because there's no fucking food.
But I don't think it's gonna be in our lifetimes.
America is a big place though.
Like there's a lot of space to grow food.
I mean, we are there also is global warming.
Global warming for fucking pussy.
Climate change.
Climate change is fake.
There's the interstellar.
Climate change is fake.
Interstellar, where they fucking,
like they can't farm anything.
They can't grow any food
because all the soil is depleted.
Yeah, I've seen interstellar.
And fucking, what's his name?
Starts crying when he sees his daughter fucking growing up.
Yeah.
And the old guys like back in my day
and then the old guy was born like 2006 back on my day.
We had fucking Apple watches.
Yeah.
Student loan borrowers like we likely won't know
for months if debt will be forgiven.
Shouldn't be.
But you, do you think?
What were we talking about before you said that?
Interstellar.
Yeah, I forgot what I was gonna say.
Oh fuck.
Oh, state bill restricts transgender healthcare for adults.
What?
It's a long nose lines of it doesn't restrict healthcare.
It restricts like elective surgeries.
So it restricts transgender surgeries.
Yeah, like they're not gonna pay for elective surgery
to change you into a woman.
I didn't think they did.
They used to.
What?
Yeah.
Well, do you think they should?
He's distracted.
What?
I literally zoned out for a second.
Do you think they should restrict
transgender healthcare?
I think they should word it differently.
I mean, do you think they should pay for the surgery?
No.
Why?
I'm not paying for someone else's fucking thing.
I'm not paying for fucking someone's plastic surgery.
So why the fuck would I fucking pay
for somebody's transgender surgery?
Well, you can say it's kind of a necessary.
It's not a necessary surgery.
I'm playing, I'm kind of playing doubles advocate,
but some could say it's a necessary surgery.
If you, for psychological reasons, you know,
like,
Oh, so they can kill themselves faster?
Oh, so, because if you feel like you're like a woman
trapped in a man's body or something.
Look up transgender surgery suicide rates.
So you mean just people who have surgery?
People who have changed,
who have like done a full transition,
I think look up the suicide rates for them
because it's fucking ridiculously high.
New studies shows people who received
gender affirming surgery are significantly less likely
to experience psychological distress or suicidal ideation.
That's a fucking lie.
That's the first result that came up.
That's a fucking lie.
Mental health.
I mean, it says like this one's mental health benefit
associated with gender affirmation.
Oh, fuck that.
Go to a fucking actual study.
Here's one.
I mean, there's stuff for both sides.
Sex reassignment doesn't work.
Here's the evidence.
Is that what you want me to click on, Tyler?
Yes.
I don't care if you say that you're a woman
or a fucking and you're a man.
I don't fucking care.
I'm just saying that it's fucking not something
that I should pay for.
And you're more likely to kick him at suicide.
This dude McHugh says that the reality
that because sex change is physically impossible,
it frequently does not provide the longterm
wholeness and happiness people seek.
But people can be happy.
After you, people like for the most part are, I think.
So I went to college with a girl who thinks
who was transitioning into a guy.
And I was friends with them.
But I didn't know that at the point.
The suicide at a time of rate among transgender persons
ranges from 32 to 50%.
Yeah, think of that number.
Across the countries, what countries?
The civilized world.
What?
Oh, it doesn't really say which countries, but.
But if you think about it.
Because of things like gender-based victimization,
discrimination, bullying, violence, family, friends,
community, harassment by partner, family members,
police, discrimination.
Police?
What?
Yeah, discrimination and ill treatment
at healthcare systems are major factors
that influence the suicidal behavior.
Yeah, I can see that.
Cause people don't accept you, right?
People don't accept me for being a fucking psychopath.
I don't fucking wanna kill myself.
You're not, people don't know that you're a psychopath.
And so they really know you.
I mean, I'm real quiet when you first know me
until I get comfortable with somebody.
Then I'm just like, hey, guess what?
I'm a fucking psychopath.
You wanna hear about Star Wars and Warhammer?
But 32 to 50% is.
It's a staggering rate.
Huge number.
Oh yeah.
But.
But it's like society's fault though.
It's not their fault, you know?
But I went to college with a transgender woman.
Man?
A person that was a girl that was transicing into a guy.
Is that a transgender man or transgender woman?
Whatever.
Oh, man.
So I went to college with them.
And I was friends with them,
but I keep on calling her her
because it was a girl before trying to transition.
And I didn't know.
And I'm like, hey, she's kind of good looking.
And they're like, that's actually a guy.
And I'm like, no, it's not.
Because you prefer tomboy, right?
Yeah.
And they're like, well, actually it is a girl,
but they don't want to be a girl.
I'm like, I don't know what the fuck.
And they're like, I didn't hear anything about
that kind of shit until I got to college.
Cause they didn't have that kind of shit in my high school.
So I'm like, the what now?
And then it was like.
You were canceled, Tyler.
But I was like, wait a minute.
Back in high school, I didn't have that kind of shit.
No, but like in my high school, that wasn't a good thing.
Like people didn't do that.
I mean, neither was at my high school, but.
I didn't know about it.
Like I didn't know it was a fucking thing.
And then I started talking to them.
And I was like, hey, and like we were friends,
like we went ice skating.
They told me about how shitty their life was.
And basically they said, if I was still a girl,
I would date you, but I'm not trying to be a girl anymore.
And I'm like, I don't know what to feel about this anymore.
So they also sent me a picture of her doing a quote unquote
cosplay of junk rat from from Overwatch, you know, that guy.
And they had their shirt off and their tits were out.
And I was just like, I'm not gonna focus on the tits,
which are the really cool part about this.
And just say, wow, you did a great job.
And I don't know how to feel about this right now.
And then I talked about it.
I'm like, I don't know.
I don't know what this is.
Like you've had a lot of questionable experiences.
It's fucking, you can't fucking not when you're dating
in the fucking 2000s, 20s.
I didn't, but alright there Tyler is taking gay.
I don't know.
We'll never know.
We will never know.
But then out of nowhere,
they just fucking blocked me on everything.
And I'm like, what did I do?
Probably looked at their tits.
No, but I fucking like,
we had like a bunch of conversations after that.
Then like a year later, they blocked me on everything.
And I'm like, I didn't do anything.
Oh, oh shit.
Robert F. Kennedy assassin Sirhan Sirhan
is denied a parole for the 17th time.
He's fucking 78.
That guy was crazy.
Did you ever hear about the rubber of Kodi?
Sash Nation.
This fucking dude Sirhan Sirhan said he was like possessed
or something.
He said he was like, I think he was schizophrenic, but
soulmind.
He said like voices were telling him to kill Robert F. Kennedy.
Kill John Lennon.
Yeah.
It was like, I don't know, 1968.
So it was like a year after, after, no,
his brother got killed.
Oh, JFK.
Yeah.
And then he just fucking killed Robert Kennedy.
Hey, nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys.
Listen, it's a sad day at a Kennedy family reunion.
I thought JFK was a pretty good president,
but bad things always happen to the Kennedys.
Are there any Kennedys left?
I think they all died.
Caroline Kennedy, I think.
Is she still alive?
Yeah.
Yep.
I didn't know that there was like more Kennedys
that were alive.
I thought they all died out.
No, there's not politicians anymore.
Probably because they all fucking got killed.
Congress presses Pentagon on Biden's reluctance
to give Ukraine F-16s.
So why doesn't he want to give Ukraine military equipment?
F-16s.
You know how expensive a single F-16 is?
Yeah, probably like a million dollars.
Look it up.
A billion dollars.
Look it up.
F-16.
Oh, 12 to 35 million.
Yeah.
So why doesn't he support,
why doesn't he send troops
or like send fighter pilots over there?
Because if you send fucking fighter pilots over there,
that's an act of war.
You can't send a United States armed forces to a place.
What are they gonna do?
Attack America?
Yes.
No, they're not because.
Yes, they are.
They're not, because if they want to.
It's gonna start World War III
if we send our only troops over.
They can't even invade Ukraine.
Do you think they're gonna attack America?
They're gonna try.
And then fucking China's gonna be like,
I'm gonna attack Taiwan now.
Yeah, and it's gonna be like the beginning of World War III.
Yes.
Why would you want that to happen?
So you're saying if you send a single fighter pilot
over there, it's gonna start World War III?
Yes, because it would be an American quote unquote
aggression because then American aggression
counts as an act of war because us in Russia
are still considered enemies
and we probably are enemies just by everything about us.
But the Russians and us,
basically if we attack anything of each other's,
it's an act of war and basically is kicking off
World War III.
Whatever big player attacks another big player
is gonna be the start of World War III.
Like if China attacks Taiwan
because we put American soldiers on Taiwan now,
that's an attack on an American soldier,
AKA an act of war causing World War III.
If we send a single fighter pilot over to Ukraine
and kill a single Russian soldier,
that is an act of war starting World War III.
If a Russian attacks anything outside of Ukraine,
literally all around Ukraine is our allies
and if they attack that,
that's an attack on NATO causing World War III.
So basically we are teetering on the fucking scales
of World War III depending on if somebody,
a single missile flies over a place
and hits something that isn't supposed to happen.
What if he sends these F-16s there, would that be like?
No, but setting a pilot over would be setting a 16.
Ukrainian forces would need at least 18 months
to learn how to fly and maintain F-16 fighter jets in combat.
It would be not worth it at that point.
The wars may go on for a year already,
could last that long,
but they would have to send like a US fighter pilot.
They don't have, they don't have Ukrainians
that know how to fly F-16s.
No, they fly, fuck, what do they fly?
Bigs, I think?
Let me look up Ukrainian fighters.
They have Ukrainian fighter pilots.
Yeah, but think about it,
it's like the difference between driving a car
and driving like a Mack truck.
Like there's differences between like the things, you know?
Basically, it's like, not actually,
I wouldn't even say that.
It's like the difference between driving a car
and driving like a motorcycle.
There's like differences,
like pretty big differences between each plane
and learning how to fly each different plane
is its own thing.
Like if you are a fighter pilot-
I know that because I play flight sim, yeah.
But if you're a fighter pilot in America,
you're normally trained on F-22s or an F-35, I believe.
I think I'm getting that right.
But let me see, American military.
Yeah, it's hard to fly different kind of planes.
I think that fighter pilots would be quick to learn.
They would be, but it would still take like a year to do.
Older F-16s could be transferred within 18 months.
To purchase and deliver new ones,
he could take up to six years adding,
the US Air Force personnel have assessed that for Ukraine
to upgrade the fleet, its fleet of fighter aircraft.
It will probably need about 80 jets.
Because our main jet currently is an F-22 Raptor.
Our big, like our best plane is an F-35, I believe.
Let me see.
Our best plane?
Yeah, our best like fighter jet.
I don't know.
I think if we go help them out,
they won't necessarily start World War III
because they're focused on Ukraine.
They're already almost losing in Ukraine anyway.
They're not gonna start attacking other places
just because we're in Ukraine.
Like as long as we don't invade Russia
and just get them out of Ukraine,
I don't think it will necessarily start World War III.
Why the fuck do we not just name planes like F-1,
F-2, F-3, there's like F-16,
then we're gonna skip to F-22.
Now we're at F-35s.
It's like just fucking name it in order.
Was it the year that they were made?
No, no.
No.
No, an F-35 was made in like 19 or 2005.
What?
Yeah.
President Biden said last week
that Ukraine doesn't need F-16s now.
Under squaring his senior military advisor's expectation
that when the war's next phase begins
to accelerate with the springtime thought,
it will look a lot like the grueling,
bloody ground campaign that has left tens of thousands
of dead and wounded on both sides.
Christ.
Jesus Christ.
I don't understand why this war's still going on.
I think we need to have like a...
Putin knows if he loses, he's going to get killed.
There is no turning back for Putin right now.
If he gets invaded, no, if he loses,
then he'll just retreat back to Russia.
No, but then his own people will kill him.
His people will kill him?
Russia is losing...
He'll get ousted.
Yeah, Russia is losing like...
Why don't they just do that now?
The Kremlin is losing support for the war,
but because they're in a current,
they're at a war currently,
they are actually behind him.
If they just pull out of this war
and all that death and shit was for nothing,
they're going to kill him.
They're going to kill him?
Like they're going to execute him?
Or just arrest him?
Think about, look at all of Russia's history.
How many revolutions has Russia had?
I know it happens a lot when there's like a coup d'etat.
That's pretty much what would happen again.
Think about Russia's entire history.
There's going to be another one.
Russia's had basically a dictator for the last 30 years.
Yeah, a dictator who is an ex-KGB officer, by the way.
Not the same one, but I mean, even before that,
they had like, what's it called, the Russian president?
Like Gorbachev and shit.
They were like dictators.
Is it a czar?
Is a czar a word for it?
No, czar was beforehand, right?
Yeah.
Is it just the president?
Maybe the president, yeah.
But I know.
They're all like kind of dictators, you know?
Let me say here, what's the Russian president called?
I think it's just Russian president.
Jamie, can you look that up for me?
Yeah, it's just the president.
What's the Russian government called?
Is the Duma, the state Duma.
The Duma.
Anyway, yeah, but like Russia can't lose
because if they lose, they are going to,
and it's not only that they're losing this war,
it's showing that they are all bark and no bite
because if they lost a fucking Ukraine,
literally anybody can fucking beat them.
Yeah, well.
Especially like they're bigger enemies like us or...
We're helping Ukraine in a lot of ways.
But like, especially if we did it ourselves
with American troops, it would be out of control.
We're cutting Russia off from trade
and basically starving them.
And then we're helping Ukraine by sending them,
well, military supplies, but not fucking F-16s apparently.
F-16s are like $30 million a piece.
What Russia knows if they try to fight like the United States,
they get fucking creamed.
They'd be fucking done.
You're done, son.
Get out of here.
Like the Soviet Union, who was like the United States major enemy,
like for the last like 50 years.
Now they just have Russia who's fighting basically with themselves
because Ukraine was part of the Soviet Union.
And so everybody's basically abandoning Russia except China and North Korea.
Iraq.
You think Iraq and...
Now, well, Iraq is led by like the freedom,
the Democratic government they set up now, right?
Who are the China?
Iraq.
Iraq is...
Like they overthrew Saddam Hussein and set up...
It's like a dictatorship again.
Is it?
Yeah.
Like the thing is with the Middle East,
you're always gonna get a dictatorship.
That's just kind of how things go over there.
You think the Middle East is gonna partner up with China and Russia?
It's gonna be World War III when it happens
because it's going to happen.
It's going to be the United States, England,
Canada, Australia, Germany, Italy...
Every European country.
Basically the entire West included...
The entire West, besides South America and Mexico,
and the entire Western European...
South Korea.
South Korea, Japan, Australia...
Fight North Korea for the Korea's back.
So we're gonna have the Korean War.
And the fucking war on terror, like the Middle East war.
It's just gonna be a combination of all the other wars
that we've ever been in at the same time.
But it's not, though, because people have nukes, though,
and now they can just be like,
oh, well, if you fight us, we're just gonna nuke you.
But they can't do that because then we would just nuke them back, right?
One nuke gets fucking shot.
Everybody's dead.
Everybody.
Everybody's dead.
So is it better to just kill people slowly than drop a nuke?
Killing people slowly gives you the chance to, you know,
not kill every person on the planet.
Well, why don't they just, like, play chess or something
instead of fighting each other?
I really think that's gonna be like a cyber war, eventually,
like with robots and shit.
But why don't they play wizard chess?
I think it's just human nature, right?
Like, if you see someone that you're, like, arguing with
and they're, like, trying to fight you, you know,
you're gonna fight, you're gonna fistfight them,
you're not gonna, like, play Yu-Gi-Oh.
It's like Yu-Gi-Oh.
Like, no.
You just pull out a blue-eyes white dragon, like,
they doing fucking Yu-Gi-Oh.
Well, I got three.
I got the blue-eyes ultimate dragon with the Transfiguration card,
making me into the blue-eyes ultimate dragon.
I'm unstoppable Yu-Gi-Oh.
If they had a World War III with Yu-Gi-Oh, I would sign up.
I have some cards we should play on the podcast.
It's like, I got a fucking blue-eyes white dragon here.
It's like, oh, that didn't do shit, like, for, like, 15 years.
That was, like, 15 years ago that did anything.
But a blue-eyes ultimate dragon still is fucking crazy.
But if you get fucking Obelisk the Tormenter fucking out there,
and you get all, no, Exodia, if you get all the Exodia pieces together,
you automatically win.
That's so stupid.
And it's banned now, by the way.
Is banned now?
All those original cards that were just ridiculous,
like, rules are banned.
I got the five pieces of Exodia. You're dead.
That's it.
Me and my friend, we play duels sometimes online,
and we use the old card, we use the unlimited ban list,
so we can just use any fucking card.
And I have this, like, Exodia deck that I just win with every time.
Yeah, you just fucking have to keep drawing cards until you get Exodia.
I also have no defense, so I just have to, like, put down Exodia's leg
and hope that he can't attack.
Or else you just get directly attacked and lose.
Yugi! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
She was thinking about how fucked up that episode was with Kaiba,
where he was like, I'm gonna kill myself, Yugi.
Yeah, he was like, I'm gonna stand on this ledge so that if you, like,
attack me, I'll fall off.
And I'll die in real life.
I was, like, nine years old watching that, and I was like, what the fuck?
That's so fucked up.
He's like, ah, Yugi, you won't murder me over a card game.
And Yugi's like, I guess I won't.
But he doesn't attack him, right?
He just uses, he, like, traps him in some way.
No, because Yami Yugi was, like, telling Yugi to be like,
I'm gonna kill him.
No, don't do it! And like, Yugi's just like, I'm gonna kill him.
I don't care.
Yeah.
This is a game of life or death, kid.
Get fucking banished in a shadow realm.
I thought he should have just did it.
Like today, when I was playing the Hogwarts and fucking did Khrushchev on Sebastian.
That kid's a school shooter.
Yeah, he's an asshole.
All right, we're gonna take a break. I'm gonna leave a bathroom.
And Dan's gonna be here.
Did he send you a message?
No, he said he was leaving like 20 minutes ago.
Maybe?
Yeah. All right.
We'll be back on Undone Pocket.
Fuck you!
21.
Welcome back to Untitled Podcast.
Y'all.
I'm so 21.
21.
Dan's here.
Oh, yeah.
You're a boy.
So you wanted me to like play some video?
Yeah, this is a video that has been on my brain cranium for the last couple of days.
Real fucking funny.
You'll just have to listen to it real quick and I'll give you the explanation afterwards.
All right.
There's a second video.
Throw me some numbers.
Hello?
It's me, Richard.
It's one fucking third in the morning.
You're really doing call on me.
Sorry to do it to you, but we have a mother of a virus ripping through a major company file.
Okay, throw me some numbers.
Fuck.
Okay, give me your password.
My password?
Out with it.
Oral cum shot.
Yeah, that fits.
All right.
That's just an intro to fucking some porn from the 1980s.
That's on YouTube.
That was a porn?
I thought it was just a bad movie.
No, and then the guy with the bald head is also super funny.
That's a really funny one.
It's the same amount of time, like 40 seconds.
You should look at that one too and then we'll go into some other shit, but I need to share these videos.
Oh shit, I'm sorry.
Sorry for what?
Yeah, I see that.
Daddy gave you good advice.
It gets bigger when I pull on it.
Sometimes I pull on it so hard, I rip the skin.
Well, my daddy taught me a few things too, like how not to rip the skin by using someone else's mouth.
When you show me, I'd be right happy too.
Oh my god.
The intros of these fucking things in the 80s were awful.
Oh my god.
I'm just confused about what I just heard.
Is dad showed him?
It showed him with your mouth so you don't tear the skin on your dick.
Also, if you're jerking off so hard that you're tearing the skin on your dick, that's insane.
That's some Reddit poor-chan shit.
That just left me with more questions than answers.
We were talking about World War III and the Ukrainian war.
You mean the Russian Civil War.
That's what I said.
That look, that hasn't got a damn thing to do with me.
What does it have anything to do with us?
Because if World War III starts, then you might get drafted.
I don't know, I'm getting kind of old.
I think we talked about this.
I don't remember what the cutoff is.
Test one, two.
Thirty?
Now it's thirty.
Yeah, I think I'm good.
So this week, China, they published a thing.
The government published a thing that they said that China had a lab that was responsible for the spread of COVID.
I was right.
It was the start of COVID.
I was right the whole fucking time and nobody fucking believed me.
They fucking found out, right?
Like they knew the whole time.
Alex Jones was on this shit in fucking 2019.
Fucking John Stuart said it and he fucking got canceled.
But people were like, oh fuck you, John Stuart.
I fucking said it too.
I said it too.
Everybody knew this.
Like it's not news.
The news sucks lately.
It's just like it's so far behind.
That's four fucking years ago.
We all knew that.
But now it's confirmed so we can say it.
Yeah, okay.
Well, I mean, independent facts.
Yeah, it's had a tech for four years.
I mean, I said that like that as a joke at first.
I said it for realsies, my guy.
And then I said it for real.
What the fuck?
What is that?
Oh, that's the sump pump.
That's real scary sounding.
So did John Stuart, is it when he was on Stephen Colbert?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
I could tell Stephen Colbert was really uncomfortable because he like doesn't want to bite the hand that feeds.
Dude, they neutered Colbert man.
They really did.
When he was on Comedy Central, he was super fucking like funny and pushing the envelope.
And then they found out that people were fucking rallying behind him.
So they're like, pay him $10 billion or some shit and come over here and stop talking about shit.
He's so different now.
But like basically there's like, hey, he's getting people to fucking think.
Get him the fuck out of there.
Yeah.
I remember when he first started.
Dude, it was so funny on the Colbert Report.
Dude, that shit was awesome.
I love the Colbert Report.
Me and my dad, me and my dad would watch the Daily Show with John Stuart every day and then the Colbert Report every single day.
Like that was like, so that me and him did it every day.
And it was awesome.
Yeah, John Stuart made him.
Yeah.
And did you know that fucking Colbert went to Night Moves to do an interview with the guy who owned Night Moves?
In Night Moves.
Yeah, that's a real thing.
Really?
Yeah.
No shit.
Yeah, he did an interview with the dude from Night Moves.
It was real funny.
I have to lick that up.
I love that place.
I didn't know you do it.
My friend's mom works there.
Right now?
Yeah.
Let's sneak out.
Here we go.
Night Moves is a strip club, by the way.
So I've already like a little political debate.
Again?
Again, yeah.
Well, a little political compass test.
Oh, no, another one.
Hey, I thought it was a good debate.
Too bad Ellie Mack's not here.
Somebody call him.
No, he's not going to answer.
He didn't answer before.
Working on a Night Moves.
It's a regular stop after some hard shifts.
I mean, you got to play this.
What a wash.
Anyway, so we got some like topics here for questions here for debate.
So you can you can you can agree strongly agree disagree or strongly disagree.
Didn't we already do this?
How did we do this one?
Maybe this is not the one here.
Here I got a different one.
So yes, no or maybe.
Okay.
Should the government increase spending on public transportation?
They already pay so much for it.
Wait, what was the question?
Should the government increase spending on public transportation?
I think that they should revamp the subway system and shit.
Yeah, man.
I mean, have you been to a New York City subway in the last 10 years?
It's fucking last year.
It's awful.
It's straight up like you'll get mugged and then thrown on the tracks.
I have like a panic attack.
I know I was so crowded.
I do love the smell of the subway.
It's like piss.
Yes.
No, no, no, no, you know, I'm smelling something different.
I know what you mean.
Most of New York City smells like sewage and piss, but it's like I don't know.
It's this like electronic, like greasy oily mechanical by the tracks.
Maybe well, look at Japan though.
They have like these hundred forty mile per hour trains that get people in some
places in two seconds.
I stole the words out of my mouth.
I was going to say like Japan literally has maglev trains.
They do 300 miles an hour and we're living in the stone ages.
These trains are from like the 1930s.
So by the way, this is a political party quiz, a twenty twenty three political
quiz.
So should the government increase spending?
Yes, I say yes.
Yeah, I agree.
It sucks.
But then I mean, look at like the big dig.
It's like, well, actually that didn't have anything to do with public
transportation. That was sewers, I thought.
No, no, no.
The big dig was that tunnel, that massive tunnel that took ten years.
Oh, in New York.
It's like a billion dollars.
Oh, Boston, Boston.
No, I thought there was a big dig in New York, too.
The big dig was Boston.
But I'm sure there's been some big digs.
All right.
Next question.
Should homeless people, individuals that have refused available shelter or housing be
able to sleep or in camp on public property?
No, no, no, no.
Where else would they sleep?
Be dead.
I don't know.
Are they in a hospital like some people?
I know.
Yeah, like some people, you know, yeah.
No.
We'll talk about that on.
Yeah, I'm going to say, man, if they're not hurting anybody, I think that they should
be allowed to sleep in public parks, not on other other property, public property.
Yeah, no problem.
Do you like the homeless like spikes?
It's a great idea.
I think it's cool.
It's a genius.
It kind of looks hardcore, too.
Like what skateboarders and homeless people hate the most.
They're not that different after all.
I'll say yes.
What do you say?
No, I say, yeah, they should be allowed to.
No.
All right.
Well, yes, son.
Medical boards penalize doctors who give health advice that contradicts contemporary scientific
no way.
Not at all because look at the guy who invented handwashing.
Right?
Have you heard of him?
He's a neurotic psychopath, though.
Well, so the guy who invented handwashing was like back in the 1700s.
Was a neurotic psycho.
Well, he became one.
But he realized that if you went from the morgue to the delivery room and deliver the baby,
the baby had a high likelihood of dying.
Really?
They didn't understand germs at all.
No.
Right.
So he just told these doctors like, hey, dip your hands if you go from the morgue, right?
And you're going to the delivery room and in between treating patients, just dip your
hands in this bucket of water, right?
And clean them off and then do it.
And then they noticed that the death rate of newborns went way down.
They're like, oh, it's not curses.
Right.
And then they were just like, this is heresy and they threw him in a psych ward.
That's amazing.
Where he like got an infection and died.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
But that's that's that's medicine in a nutshell.
Like how it operates.
That's how you get new things, right?
Like the new best thing.
Like you never have anything better if like you always follow the same rules.
Right.
So the confederates found sanitary surgery.
Oh, right?
Yeah.
I'll say no.
No, because the confederates found the surgery like that because they ran out of like twine
and shit because the North took all the twine and shit.
So they couldn't use that.
So they had to boil horsehair and they found that the things that they boiled and like
and used the wounds would be less infected.
Like I feel like they should have figured that out way sooner than the Civil War.
No, but it took for the Civil War to find out that.
Hey, boiling your equipment nullifies infection a little bit.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's nuts.
Um, but yeah, I back to the, um, the medicine thing, they say medicine advances one in
war, one death at a time, right?
Cause like these old people hang on to these like these ideas, right?
And they don't want to let them go.
These like old doctors and they want to hang on to their, the way they've always done things.
And then they die and then the new ideas take their place.
And you know, maybe, maybe that's the reason we do die because if we just stuck around
forever, nothing would ever advance.
What's the time period?
What are, what is the, what is the biggest time period of medical advancement?
Probably like the 1900s.
It probably was during some war.
World wars.
All wars cause medical advancement.
Every single one.
Yeah.
We, we, we advanced so far in medicine during wartime.
It's like staggering.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
There's, there are, the sad thing is, is there's a lot of benefits to war.
Technology advances.
War never changed.
Yeah.
Um, medicine advances, everything advances.
People make a lot of money, you know?
Yeah.
So we're voting no.
Should the government require employees of large businesses to be vaccinated from COVID?
No.
This should the government?
Yeah.
The government has no place to sell in businesses.
What to do?
Yeah.
Fuck them.
Yeah.
Take, take the tax money and get out of here.
It's none of your business.
Jerk me the fuck off.
I'm going to say yes.
Well, let's not take it that far.
I'm going to say yes, because that's how you prevent spreading public disease.
Shut the fuck up, Casey.
You're outnumbered here.
Vote no.
Fuck you.
Do you support the patient protection, affordable care act of arm care?
No.
Fuck no.
We both just immediately said no.
Fuck no.
We're the fucking alley back.
All right, so here's my thing on this whole argument.
I know we talked about it before, but it's like say we were all going to, we came up
with this plan.
I'm going to take a piss just ran for a couple minutes.
We were all going to take care of each other's cars, right?
Instead of me being like, hey man, I got this massive fucking bill for my transmission.
Fuck that.
Why don't we all chip in, right?
To a pot.
And then when we have car repairs, then we'll just take it out of the pot and people will
be like, yeah, that's a really good idea and just beat the shit out of their cars.
Like what do I care if it breaks?
You know what I mean?
Because it's going to, somebody else is paying for it.
I think you care a little more about your health than a car because if your health suffers,
you're in pain, right?
I wouldn't be so sure.
People really don't care.
And that's the thing, like, so for the last like five years, I've been really into health,
right?
And just like learning as much as I can about it.
And like literally, I probably listened to three hours of videos today.
I'm like adequate protein levels and like vegan diets versus like, you know, other diets
where they include me and like, which one's better?
What's the proof?
What are the chances of cancer on certain ones?
I'm just really interested in that stuff because I want to know other people just aren't
like, people don't give a fuck, right?
So like, I always walk a couple of miles a day, if not like walking that I run or I
jump rope.
Yeah.
But my neighbors always see me and my one neighbor was outside chopping wood or something.
And he's like, oh, we see, oh, we see a walk in here.
What do you got some sort of health condition or something?
And it's like, no, dude, I don't want to have a health condition.
That's why I walk.
I never see anybody else walking.
It's like a beautiful place to walk.
And people just, whoa, people, people just don't care, you know, about their health.
So yeah.
Back by popular request.
Yes.
We were talking about the, uh, the Obamacare thing.
Fuck Obamacare.
Fuck you.
So people aren't going to take care of their health.
People don't care.
People, people want to take a pill, right?
To fix their problem.
Like high blood pressure.
Easiest fucking thing in the world to fix.
Take out sodium.
Stop doing.
There's not even, not even that.
That.
So if you take out sodium, all right, not to get off on this, right?
Because I can go off on some real time.
I know case you want to move on.
Oh no, go ahead.
All right.
So if you cut sodium out of your diet, right?
When you get down to the levels that they say, right, like 1200 milligrams a day changes
your systolic blood pressure by one, uh, millimeter of mercury.
Yeah.
That's it.
So sodium doesn't really have much effect on it.
The problem is, is that there's about everybody, everybody who's studied any anatomy and physiology
knows there's a balance between sodium and potassium.
Yeah.
Right.
So the daily requirement for potassium is 3700 to 5000 milligrams a day.
Okay.
Most people get 1200 milligrams.
So the problem isn't that you have too much sodium.
It's that you don't have enough potassium because that would require people to eat things
like fruit and vegetables and whole foods and people just want to eat cheezus.
So that's just not going to happen.
You're never, you're never, even if you try and get enough potassium, it's just, it's
likely not going to happen.
Yeah.
A lot of people I see come in, um, just normal people in the hospital, other than myself,
they have low potassium.
Yeah.
It's, I mean, it's just nobody gets enough.
Even if you go out of your way.
See, all right, I'll keep this short.
I'll cut it off here.
This is the last thing.
If you're a Viking back in the day and you're eating 8000 calories a day, you had a heavy,
heavy workload.
You were building buildings all day.
Dude, that's what that's how like drain the water, Dwayne the what?
Dwayne the what?
Dwayne, Dwayne the rock.
Johnson does his shit.
He eats like fucking 8000 calories a day.
That's why he's so fucking huge.
Yeah.
People and people used to do that.
They used to eat 8000 calories a day.
Now the amount of potassium you would get eating that much food because you're under
a constant workload and you could support those calories, you could get like probably
seven, seven grams of potassium a day.
Yeah.
Now nobody works enough.
Even if you work out, it's just you really, it's so hard to get enough potassium.
That's what causes high blood pressure.
It's lack of exercise and low potassium.
I'll keep that in mind.
Yeah.
I was trying to get some potassium.
Eat some fucking bananas.
Well, bananas, potatoes, like it's just really hard to, really hard to get.
My grandma, my grandma was always when I was a kid, she was like, if you don't want to get
sick, eat a lot of bananas.
Can you take potassium supplements?
Yeah.
You can.
Don't you need a prescription?
No.
So, so it's limited by the federal government to 99 milligrams per tablet.
So like I was saying, you need five grams of dye.
So you'd have to take 50, 99 milligram tablets, which isn't going to happen.
So yeah, because if I don't know if I should say this on the podcast, if you take too much
potassium, it's just a slow, get easy way to kill yourself.
It is.
Well, you need to mainline it.
Yeah.
If you mainline the passive, you'll die.
Yeah.
So if you also, if you mainline, okay, we shouldn't, we shouldn't talk about killing
yourself.
If you mainline an air embolus, you'll give yourself a fucking P a P.
No, it's not true actually.
Well, you know, if you do like an entire fucking syringe full of it, it would have to be a
whole IV line.
So yeah.
So this is, it would have to be like a hundred milliliters, right?
Or 30 milliliters.
So like a whole IV line or like a whole full syringe, right?
The air embolus goes into your heart and for 40 percent of people have a heart effect
called what's called the hole in your heart between the two ventricles.
Yeah, I forgot what it's called.
Oh man.
Yeah, I look at 40 percent of people have that.
I look at 40 percent.
So basically you have a 40 percent chance of dying if that happened.
Wow.
Maybe that's what the air embolus goes through the ventricle into your ventricular safety
because of the air.
Sceptical defect.
Air embolus.
Yeah, septal defect.
Congenital septal defect or something like that.
Ventricular.
Yeah.
Wow.
There's also a atrial septal defect, but like similar lines.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah, so I don't understand how it gets out though.
Well it doesn't.
Air embolus goes through the heart into the lungs and creates air embolus, so the blood
flow just stops.
So but I mean if you said only 40 percent of people would be affected by that.
So what about the ones who aren't affected by it?
What happens?
Nothing.
So it wouldn't go through to the lungs.
It would go through to the body and it would go through to the probably to the capillary
areas.
You could in a you could or it would be like an air embolus in your leg and so you'd get
like a DVT.
You could also get a stroke from it or a PE like it's just like it's just an embolus.
It's basically instead of being like a solid embolus, it's an air one.
It wouldn't go to your lungs and kill you instantly.
Okay.
I guess what I was just wondering is like it just doesn't like just go there and stay
there.
It eventually has to dissipate somehow.
Yeah.
Right.
Okay.
Huh.
Yeah.
The thing with with potassium though is that it's like really irritating like through
your GI system.
It's not going to like it's like if you can't take it on an empty stomach and it's irritating
when you put it in veins.
Yeah.
Super irritating to the GI system.
It's really hard to supplement with unless you put it in like a lot of like oatmeal or
like some high carbohydrate food and it acts like insulin too.
That's the problem.
But um, where's I going?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
So I have this powder, this potassium citrate powder.
So one, one teaspoon is like dude, I got the time.
I'm sorry.
I got to talk about like some time I have to talk about the time I watched and like
open a heart surgery.
Let's, let's talk about it now.
No, go ahead.
No, I didn't have anything.
I was just, I didn't have anything.
No, I want, I want to hear what you.
Oh no, I was just saying that instead of those 99 milligram tablets, I have like a powder
where it's a gram per teaspoon.
So you could get up to like, you take as much as you want and like mix it in water and down
it.
But anyway, yeah, let's hear about this open heart surgery.
Oh God, I think I'm too high right now.
I'll talk about it later.
No, no, no.
All right.
Now I just went to the to the open heart surgery for nursing school, right?
And it was like a seven hour surgery.
Like I had seven hours of clinical and they started before I got there and I left before
they finished.
So it was like an eight hour surgery.
Yeah, just super long surgery.
It was a cabbage, a corner bypass quadruple bypass.
So they take his, his vein from his leg and they kind of yeah.
So they cut him open, right?
The surgeon and the the PA and like the surgery PA resident cut open the vein and take the
vein out from his leg and so the cardiologist opens him up and this lady and she's like
she's like, can we put on some music and she starts playing like disco and pop music on
the radio and like dance into it while she's cutting open.
Is that what they do?
Yep, that's what every cardiologist, every heart surgeon does.
Oh my God, that's awesome.
Did you ever, did you ever trick somebody?
No, no.
No.
So I'm here, right?
I'm not present.
No, but like I've seen, I've seen like that you can actually do it as a paramedic.
Yeah, but I mean, it's like, it's like, you have to be like a really dire circumstance.
No, it's because no, I actually, one of my like recently, I saw a paramedic do it.
Because the dude's fucking really the dude's top lip was at his nose and his bottom lip
was at the bottom of his chin and his tongue was so swollen that it was at the roof of
his mouth.
So he couldn't breathe because his nose was covered by his lip.
And he had there was like, and we had to call medical control.
We're like, hey, we're going to need to trick this guy.
And they're like, all right, do it.
Crank.
Yeah.
No, no, it was a no, they we did the fucking slit and then with fucking.
Oh, it's brutal.
Literally it's one of the most brutal fucking things I've ever seen.
Like you have to like find, you know, you obviously have to find the.
Yeah, that's cool.
College.
And then he my paramedic, it's it's so you fucking take a scalpel and you slit it.
You slit a hole in their fucking trachea and you take a fucking meat hook, a small meat
hook and grab their fucking skin and pull it up and shove a tube down their fucking
trach.
I never to see that again.
No, but it was fucking crazy.
The only time you're going to ever see somebody do that.
Yeah, it was fucking crazy.
And I'm like, because I got talking to my partner, who we all know, the missile himself.
Oh yeah.
But we, he took that shit out and I'm like, holy shit.
And he just goes, yeah, most people want to be able to do that fucking real fucked up,
man.
Like, yeah.
So I'm watching this, watch this open heart surgery and there's like the cardiologist
and her assistant operating on the dude's heart, right?
And there's like these PAs getting the guy's vein and the nurse comes up to me.
She's like, you eat breakfast.
I'm like, kind of why?
She's like, most people pass out at this part.
I'm like, no, I'm fine.
This is cool.
And so I just, I had to stand there for like seven hours, right?
And so there's the, what's it called?
The person that operates the heart lung machine.
Why didn't that just be a cardiologist?
No, the heart and lung machine.
Yeah.
The bypass machine, the heart bypass machine.
I thought that was the cardiologist.
The ECMO person, right?
Is that what that or your ECMO is different?
No, no.
Heart lung machine.
What?
I love how you look things up and fucking.
Okay.
Perfusionist.
It's like a person that sits there and like, when they cut off the circulation, they operate
the heart lung machine and control how much like oxygen and CO2 is like getting in the
blood.
Shit.
I didn't know it was a thing.
Are they doctors?
No, they're just tax.
No, they have like, I think they're like master's levels.
I think they're doctorates or master levels.
No master level degree in perfusionists.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
Never heard of that.
No.
I got to like this up.
See how much these people make.
Yeah.
You should look it up.
But so something goes wrong during the surgery, right?
And after they, they stop the dude's heart by injecting potassium into it.
Oh shit.
And then they put it, they like hook up the heart lung machine into the, into the arteries.
And so something goes wrong and his like his sat's drop or whatever.
And they like calling in a new cardiologist and like, I didn't really understand it at
the time, but they were like yelling at each other at the perfusionists about something.
And so they finally, they finally get him, his bypass done, right?
And they close them up and the nurses like, yeah, they got to shake the air out now.
And she fucking grabs this dude by the fucking ribs and she fucking shakes him on the fucking
table.
She was in.
No, they fucking shake him to get all the fucking air out.
So, so he doesn't have air embolism.
So like they shake like his corpse body.
Yeah, they grab his ribs and they just, she just fucking shakes them on the table.
That's fucking hardcore man.
Really?
That's, that's the technicals it gets.
Yeah, that's what they do.
It was like, it was like at least like three to five minutes of it.
They just fucking grabbed this guy's rib cage and just go, for three minutes.
So I'm just like, after the profusionists hooked it, hooked the thing up or disconnected.
So it was after they completed the bypass.
So after they disconnected everything and they were going to go, go to close them up.
They just shake his body with a rib cage.
So I don't understand.
Is it like a special like hook that you use to the rib cage or do you just literally
grab his rib?
So they put them in like Trinnell Berg like, yeah, his head down.
And then they're like, we have to get the air out from his system so that he doesn't
have an air embolism.
Right.
That's fucking wild, man.
I wish I could.
I left as they were closing them up.
Yeah, it's cool.
You what?
Is there a closing?
No, I left.
I said you laughed.
I left after they were closed.
That was pretty funny.
You get out of here.
That's pretty cool though.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Man, speaking of like people getting angry, I remember during my clinical time this,
at the cath lab, this guy coated on the table.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that's where you expect that to happen.
But you're like, oh, these are doctors and they're used to it.
Like that's some big deal.
This doctor was pissed.
I don't know.
Tell this day what he was yelling for.
Like if he was yelling for like jewels, he meant, or if he meant like a dose of a medication,
but he started yelling 300 ampoules, 300 ampoules.
And I'm like 300 ampoules.
Isn't that like a measurement for a medicaid like ampoules?
What is what is I thought the ampoules were like the things that you like broke open.
Yeah.
Right.
So I don't know if he's talking about jewels or if he's talking about what do you get 300
of like maybe amiodarone or something.
I think he meant 300 amps.
Oh, I mean electricity.
Yeah.
Okay.
But it's jewels though.
So it would be jewels.
So the amps are a measure of.
Yeah.
Do doctors use different things than we do?
Maybe the machine has a different setting.
Yeah, because we use jewels.
Yeah.
Or volts.
Some I have seen some like like life packing shit or Zols that have volts.
Yeah.
Or what?
What?
Whatage to.
Oh, maybe that's old.
Oh, amps is a measure of current.
Okay.
So he was it must it must have had a setting on the.
But like you're saying ampoules.
There's more.
Yeah.
He said that wrong.
He meant amps.
What a retard.
Maybe.
I mean, I'm guessing.
I don't know.
But he was past dude.
He was not happy.
And then there's this like this other guy that was like sitting behind.
There's like a glass.
You know, a window you sit behind.
Yeah.
Right with a microphone.
And he's like there's a little button you push to the microphone and they had the new
like resident in the room.
You know, when they're doing the fluoroscopy.
Yeah.
Like the live X-rays.
They have like all this lead on.
Right.
You've seen I'm sure you've seen them do that.
Yeah.
Clinical and this this guy is just like being all calm, cool and collected.
Right.
And the doctors like up into the right.
Right.
And he's like watching him and he's like watching him on the big screen.
You know, he can see where the thing is that he's trying to get into the vessel and he's
like up into the right.
He sits back and then finally he's like up into the right and he grabs the microphone
and throws it.
And then my adjunct is like, yeah, he goes, that guy is angry, but he's the best in the
business.
So he deserved to be like he can be.
I'm like, dude, I've.
I and the guy doing it was just like not even like just tuning them out up into the right.
All right.
We're going to move on.
Sorry to tell the war story.
No, that was great.
National security issues.
Got a fucking wand.
Should the president be able to authorize military force against al-Qaeda without congressional
approval?
I thought they did that already.
They did, but they shouldn't be able to because technically, if you're being a constitutionalist
absolutist, Congress is the only people that can actually declare war because it has to
be voted on by everybody.
Yeah, but they're they're not really like a nation or anything.
They're just a they're just a bunch of fucking.
It still is an act of it's still an act of war.
Huh?
I'll say yes.
I'm going to say yeah.
He should be allowed to.
This is a fancy wand.
You can probably get some hell yeah, bro.
Or I can just kill him with a potter bitches.
Yeah, this is a long quiz.
So whenever you want to stop and get to the movie reviews, let me know.
Now we got we got some more shit to talk about, man.
We got to talk about China.
We got to talk about Ukraine.
This guy's got a rant.
We did.
So we're saying yes for this.
I guess I said no.
Yeah, I saw a video the other day.
Donald Trump was saying that he's like, yeah, I I sent a text message to the head of Al-Qaeda
and he's like what he goes, yeah, I spoke with him on the phone.
He's like, I sent him a picture of his house and said, we're not going to have any problems.
Not one of our soldiers is going to die.
You understand me?
And he said, yes, yes, I understand.
Why don't you send a picture of my house?
And he goes, I'll let you figure that out.
That's awesome.
They could just like bomb that shit like they did.
Like Osama bin Laden.
They just make him disappear.
So this is, um, yo, this is the next question, actually.
Should the US assassinate suspected terrorists in foreign countries?
Yes.
In foreign countries?
Yeah.
I'm going to say yes.
Yes.
I'm going to say yes.
They have the permission from the foreign country.
I'm going to say yes, no matter what.
Like, you know, there are enemy.
Oh, like, so if they assassinated who?
Osama bin Laden, because they didn't have the, they didn't, the, uh, whatever government
that was, they didn't know at the time.
Oh, really?
It was like, um, Pakistan or something.
Yeah.
They didn't know.
They were like, what the fuck is going on?
We have all these like fucking military choppers flying over territory.
We're like, yeah, we're just like, you know, because they tried to hide them.
That's what they did.
Did Pakistan try and hide?
Yeah, they did.
They said that he wasn't here at all.
Wow.
So we're like, oh, we know he's there and they're like, oh, no, he's not.
So like, fine, we'll just send our fucking troops over and fucking murder them.
We're going to vote yes on that.
Yeah, I agree.
I didn't, I didn't know that happened.
I thought it was in Afghanistan.
Crucio.
The United States is like, we're just going to do whatever the fuck we want and you're
not going to do anything about it.
That's how we should be.
Fuck everybody else.
You will say you will say do you support President Obama's move to lift the travel embargo in
Cuba?
Oh, I don't know anything about it.
I want Cuban cigars, man.
So I say that was all right.
They go same.
What's the same?
I want fucking Cubans to say yes.
What's the point of like breeding hate still?
Like, so yeah, we're all saying yes, I want cigars.
He wants to go.
Also, I love fucking communism, boy.
I like cigars.
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yes.
So that's why we shun Cubas because they're communists.
Yep.
Basically, we did that and then fucking, uh, uh, fuck, what was the guy who smoked a
lot of cigars from fucking Cuba?
I forgot his fucking name.
Uh, the, the Del Castro.
Yeah.
We, we banned travel there because of Castro and then we're like, yeah, we're going to
just lift that up because fucking Castro is not a threat anymore.
Do you know who the only US, uh, member of, um, what, what would it be?
The only, only person in the US government that has visited with him in like the last
40 years.
Who?
Jesse Ventura.
Oh yeah.
Fucking bunch of slack job.
Oh my God.
This shit will turn into a goddamn sexual tyrannosaur just like me.
How are you doing there?
Fidel?
It's me, Jesse Ventura.
I'm here to tell you about how awesome America is.
You should give me a cigar though, because it's pretty fucking cool.
Apparently they said it was fine and he could do it, but nobody else has done it.
Like, so I'm sorry.
Here's the next question.
Would the government increase or decrease military spending?
Increase.
I don't know.
It's pretty high dude.
It's pretty fucking high.
Increase it.
It's pretty fucking high.
Increase it.
Crucio.
Duff dude.
It's like, it's like our military spending is higher than the G.
The only reason why we have our country is because our military spending is so fucking
high.
We decided to lower our military fucking shit.
Then they're going to be like, okay, we're going to invade America now.
Well, I don't know if that's necessarily true, because the way it is right now, they basically
have a blank check to do whatever they want.
But they should.
I don't know that they should.
They literally like, it's like that speech that Donald Gromso gave.
He goes, we can't account for $2.2 trillion.
Like we just like literally have no way to account for it.
And that's $8,000 for every man, woman, and child in the United States at that time.
Right?
Yeah.
So that was the day before 9-11.
Right?
So man, we could go down the rabbit hole.
Maybe we'll save that for later.
So I think the government should decrease.
Shut the fuck up.
All right.
Yeah.
Comey fuck.
You want to be a commie bastard?
Go ahead.
Be a commie motherfucker.
No, I think we already beat the G.
The game, dude.
Yeah.
We already, we already beat the game.
We've got the best of the best shit.
Let's like make our roads awesome now.
All right.
And let's make our military okay.
Right?
Like it's still, it'll still be the most badass military in the world.
But let's make the roads a little better.
You're wrong.
I don't care.
So last question for foreign policy shit.
And I'm going to, I'm going to be right back.
So I'll let you guys, I debate this.
Should foreign terrorism suspects be given constitutional rights?
Absolutely not.
No fucking way.
As a matter of fact, we should bring back the guillotine for him.
I think that we should call them.
Call them.
But don't call them.
Don't all humans have rights.
No, no, no, called C.U.L.D.
What does that mean?
You take, you take pinchers like, like garden clippers and heat them up super, super, super
hot and cut their nuts off.
Damn, that's a thing.
That's a real thing.
Yeah.
They used to do it for horses and shit.
But then they, but they did, they did it as like torture for people back in the cowboy
times.
Damn.
Wow.
Because it won't let you bleed because it's so hot that it cauterizes the wound immediately.
But it just castrates you.
Yeah, it just castrates you.
Oh my God.
Dude, what is it called again?
Calding.
I think it's called Calding.
But like it's, it's something along those lines.
Wow.
God, that's fucking, that's nuts.
Yeah, man.
Man.
Um, yeah, that's a scary thing, dude.
Like they've been talking about in Russia right now, a lot of the captured soldiers are being
tortured.
Yeah.
Like, like tortured and raped and God, just fucking brutal, man.
That's terrible.
Yeah, man.
But while we're waiting for Casey, we read some headlines, see what's going on in the
world.
You said you were pretty angry at the way the world is right now.
Dude, I was just, I woke up in a certain kind of mood the other day.
And I was just like, went off.
I was going off on Facebook rants and like, Oh, you were?
I didn't, I didn't look at your Facebook page.
What were you saying?
Well, I was just like commenting on news stories.
Oh, just like, you didn't even use your, one of your phone.
Fake fucking accounts.
No, it's just like, I was just pissed at the world.
Like every news story, you ever get in a mood where you think you have all the world answers?
Yeah, like all the answers for the world's problems.
What the fuck is that noise?
I don't know.
Sounds like a fucking Nintendo game.
Let's see.
Boycott Hershey's spreads on Twitter over a women's day campaign.
What is this about?
Her story.
Her.
She.
Rhee.
No.
That's what it says.
It says her.
She.
Stop.
That's a real thing.
Yeah, I've seen, I've seen the chocolate bars.
I love Hershey's chocolate, so I'm not going to fucking boycott them, but what is it?
What's wrong with that?
Though I don't get it.
It's just lame.
Let's see.
Talk about it here.
This is an ad.
Dude, chocolate covered eggs are chocolate covered marshmallow eggs are probably my favorite
candy on the planet.
Dude, I'm a big fan of almond joys.
Almond joys, really.
I like, I like mounds.
I like mounds better than almond joys.
If almond joys didn't have the almonds in it, I think it would be a lot better.
Well, that's what mounds are.
Yeah, but it's dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate.
Oh, damn.
You know, there's a company.
I forget the name of it.
Unreal.
Dude, they have awesome.
It's like healthy candy.
Really?
It's like all good ingredients.
Yeah.
It's like all organic stuff.
I know.
So I don't think anything that would be marshmallow.
There might be.
Really?
Yeah.
You should see what they got.
They've got like organic M&Ms, organic almond joys.
Really?
But I think their almond joys, they're not dark chocolate and they don't have almonds in
them.
So they're just exactly what you're talking about.
But they're getting more popular.
They have like gas stations and stuff now.
Is that fucking what's his name?
Chuck Tucker Carlson.
I love Tucker.
Let's see what he's got to say on this.
Dude, my parents and fucking brother hate Tucker Carlson, so I just watch him all the
time to piss him off.
Well, he is like he's inflammatory.
That's the funny part, though.
Come on, man.
Fuck.
Skip ahead here.
Appealing and.
All right, here we go.
M&Ms will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and
totally androgynous.
Until the moment you wouldn't want to have a drink with any one of them.
But honestly, this is weird if you really, truly want to make an M&M feel like they belong,
you probably shouldn't be eating them.
I mean, what kind of message does it send to children when you devour these little non-binary
bonbons?
Oh, sorry.
Honestly, I'm mostly just happy because if it's in all female M&M, I assume that it
costs 77 cents on the dollar of what the regular M&M costs, right?
That's how this works.
Fuckin' bullshit, man.
I mean, if this is what you need for validation on M&M that is a color that you think is associated
with feminism, then I'm worried about you.
I think this is the kind of thing that makes China say like, oh, good, keep focusing on
that.
Keep focusing on giving people their own color M&Ms while we take over all of the mineral
deposits in the entire world.
Despite the announcement, M&M says it is okay.
It went away too fast.
I'm not going to rewind it.
You know what I think that that's actually, so what that was about is it's about the female
M&M's character.
So I think that's just an advertisement for Hershey's.
I also think they changed during Women's History Month, they changed king size to queen size.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That's bullshit.
Yeah.
So what the fuck happened?
We were talking about how Hershey's is a bunch of fucking gay boys.
Oh.
So apparently people are getting all bent out of shape about the female M&M's characters.
Not being hot and you don't want to fuck them anymore.
I forgot my fucking water.
I bet you could find M&M porn.
There is 100% green M&M porn.
100%.
I'm looking it up now.
Let's see what we find.
Where would the vagina be?
I don't know.
There's probably like a little flap.
A little flap that they could like slide out.
Dude.
Green.
At first let's find out what her name is.
You want to know what I want to do sometime on Untitled Podcast?
What?
I just want to like make someone today, you know, just like like have like a delivery
driver and just like when he gets here be like here's $100.
That would be awesome.
Who's paying for it?
All right.
Mr. Beast.
All right.
Mr. Beast.
All right.
I throw in on that.
I don't know, but like not for like views, but just like, I mean, we're doing it on
the podcast.
Or maybe we can get them on the podcast.
Bro, you want to come down to a podcast and we'll pay you $100.
Dude, that'd be hilarious.
Put them on who wants to be a millionaire.
Maybe easy enough questions.
It's like the thing we did in VR chat.
Just kidnap somebody.
Yeah, but then the like, what if they're a real weirdo and you let them in your house?
No.
I got a block.
Pizza delivery drivers are the most trustworthy individuals on the planet.
Dude, stop.
So what do we say?
Should foreign terrorism?
What the fuck is that?
Should the foreign terror?
Why is there another M on it?
Oh my God.
Green M and M porn.
Why is there another M on her fucking pussy?
What the fuck is why?
Why would you do that?
I don't know.
What I'm even looking at.
Oh my God.
So last week we looked up fucking peach and Bowser porn and this week we're looking up
fucking the green M and M porn.
That's awesome.
Look at her face.
I wish I wish everybody could see this.
Everybody at home.
Just look it up.
Yeah, just look.
Just look it up.
Whoa.
Oh God, I'm going to die.
What the fuck?
That's fucking funny.
That's just awesome.
This motherfucker's showing me M and M porn.
It's just like there's porn for everything, dude.
What the fuck?
Did he just rip her in half?
All right.
Last one.
I'm sorry.
What the fuck?
Yo.
That's some fucking 4chan shit, my guy.
Check it out.
I'm cripple walking.
Oh, shit.
Damn, dude.
I got the perfect song for you.
So what did you say?
Should foreign terrorism suffice be given constitutional rights?
We already, we said that in the first two seconds.
We didn't even have to argue.
I think everybody has human rights.
No, no, no, they don't.
They don't have constitutional rights because they're not citizens.
They get the fuck out of here.
All right.
We'll say no.
Negative.
Cripple walking.
Should the federal government pay for tuition at four-year colleges?
No.
The university.
We already went over this last time.
If they did pay for it, would you go and get a bachelor's degree, Tyler?
No.
College is a scam.
Even if it's free, the liberal fucking teachers are assholes.
You're not wrong, dude.
He's not, he's not wrong.
I mean, you know, you need, you need it to get a good.
No, you don't.
Well, if you want to have a career.
I was thinking about going to welding.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the trades.
Trades are good, you know, but there's, there's more than one way to skin a cat.
So they both have.
Why is that the saying?
I like cats.
Why are you at the skin a cat?
There's a ton more questions, but I'm just going to finish it now.
So like, so like if you actually think about it, are you guys cat people or dog people?
Cat person.
I am a cat person as well.
Obviously.
Yeah.
My cat, my cats are my children.
I fucking dogs scare the fuck out of me.
Yeah, I mean.
Oh, we got 72% peace and freedom party.
What the fuck is that?
Freedom.
Secular, big government, progressive, tender, left wing politically correct.
Yeah, it's definitely, it's definitely not me because you fucking 62% Republican.
Yes.
43% socialist.
Dude, it just, it just brought all our things together.
43% libertarian.
I think if we answered more of them, 42% green.
42, I feel like there wasn't enough questions.
42% Democrat, 25% constitution.
Yeah, no.
I got all that from the four questions.
Oh God.
All right.
So what do we got this week on schizophrenic movie?
We don't have more to talk about.
I don't know what you guys got.
Well, I mean, we got headlines from going to headlines.
What the fuck are you doing, Casey?
That's where the green M and M porn came from.
I'm still looking at it.
Sorry.
Got a little sidetracked here.
All right.
Oh, we want to talk about some headlines.
Kodak black is back in jail.
Actually, he's released because he agreed to go to rehab.
He violated his parole by testing positive for fentanyl.
Man, I mean, that could have been, I feel like you can basically just walk by somebody
with fentanyl and test positive for fentanyl.
Yeah.
It's so strong.
And you see that video.
I said Kodak black asking the judge for a jolly rancher.
He was like a little kid.
Can I get a good jolly rancher?
Actually, I might play that.
And he was like, thank you.
All right.
Where do we want the headlines from?
Somebody that's in between NBC News, Washington Post.
All of them are shit.
Fox News.
That's the right one.
Well, Fox News is like so biased.
So is every other one so biased.
What is where's the Washington Post?
Where do they fall?
Super left.
Are they?
Mm-hmm.
There's not going to be a major publication that isn't left or right.
Say NBC just because, you know, MSNBC is definitely liberal.
Like it's the most liberal.
Have you guys seen that Netflix documentary about the Murdoz?
No.
I don't know why this video doesn't have sound so weird.
Do you ever see the jealousy that Kodak black?
Did you ever see that Netflix special Evil Genius?
No, what's up?
Did you ever hear about the the the pizza bombing, the pizza, the pizza robbery bombing?
No.
So it's a whole fucking crazy goddamn thing.
I don't think I can summarize it in like the fucking thing, but I'll do like a small
summary of it.
So this pizza driver fucking robbed the bank and then when he got pulled over by the cops,
he had a shirt on that said I'm wearing a bomb and they cut his shirt off and he had
a fucking like bomb strapped to his neck and he's like, I don't want to do this.
Like I got a bomb strapped to me.
Let me see that one.
What?
You look like a retard.
I'm not a kid.
What did you get?
I think one here.
What is it?
What kind of wand is it?
Tell us.
It's a dragon heartstring and horn beam and it is 12 and three quarter inches long.
Wow.
Dragon heartstrings.
Is that like it actually has a description right here.
That's like Lucius Malfoy right?
Or the dragon the dragon heartstring is like there's three heartstrings that you can have
the unicorn hair, the phoenix feather or the dragon heartstring.
Yeah.
But I'll read it.
I'll read it right now.
So while the dragon heartstring core tends to result in the most powerful wands, they
also result in the most accident prone.
However, the dragon heartstring core combined with the horn beam wood is a particularly
durable timber.
It should create an exceptionally fine tune and responsive wand.
Horn beam wands, wands choose their masters who seem to have a singular passion and they
adapt quickly to their owner's magical style and code of honor because dragon heartstring
wands also tend to bond strongly with their owners.
A horn beam and dragon heartstring wand may be one of the most keen wands and the most
steadfast wands in a witch or wizard can own.
This is made out of plastic.
Yeah.
But like it's the story behind it.
Had you been to Harry Potter as a kid, you would be fucking shitting yourself right now.
Yeah.
Because that, that like you get your like you take like a like a test thing and like
you quote unquote your wand chooses you and that's the exact wand that shows like me on
the thing.
What the website is that?
A wizarding world.
We should we should take it because I can I can just tell you what my results are.
I mean, I'll fucking take it and I'll buy my wand.
Before you get too deep in the weeds, finish the story about the pizza guy with a bomb
in his chest.
Oh, so he got they didn't think it was a real bomb.
So they're like, all right, man, you got a fucking bomb on your chest.
Okay.
But they did evacuate the neighborhood.
And then the guy's like, I can hear it ticking and then his fucking head explodes.
Oh my God.
And they show it on the Netflix special.
They show the dude's head fucking exploding.
What?
Yeah.
And it was like it was like panned for that because like they showed a guy actually dying
a real person dying on a Netflix special.
But the rabbit hole that you go down with that he was semi in with with the people that
fucking strapped a bomb.
Fuck is this what you have to sign up for it?
No, I type in my password and it doesn't let me click continue.
Do you have to make an account?
I thought I already did.
All right.
Yeah, but but like it goes down this fucking insane rabbit hole that you go down and the
lady who he was like having like who was friends with with him had a body in her fucking freezer
that was chopped up that didn't have anything to do with this fucking pizza bombing thing.
It's like it's just it's a fucking like you should watch.
It's like fucking three like hour long episodes on Netflix.
It's a really fucking cool watch.
It really is.
Yeah, it's on Netflix again.
Did they take that part out?
No, it's still on there where the guys had explodes.
Yeah, I can't wait to watch it.
Yeah, dude.
I mean, we've seen shit like that in real life.
So if I fuck it, we watched it at at work like in the in station one, we are watching
it and we just watch it.
Oh shit, his head exploded.
Damn, I'm nursing some of his head explode.
Really?
Yeah, unfortunately.
Oh man.
Dude, I saw a guy.
I never got my pen for that.
I saw a guy in Schenectady fucking at a bus stop.
I was smoking a cigarette back when I used to smoke and I was smoking a cigarette.
And then I saw this guy go, hurry.
I'm like, oh, fuck.
I turn around and I'm like, oh, it's not me.
There's two guys at the bus stop, you know, across the street from the yeah.
So I'm sitting there.
I'm like, let's just see where this is going.
So I take a fucking drag off my cigarette and they start yelling back and forth.
And I see this guy take out a fucking 45 put one in his head, went over to his fucking
body and put another one in his head when he's on the fucking ground.
You witnessed this.
And I put my cigarette out.
I went inside and I called dispatch and I'm like, hey, can we get PD down here?
They're like, oh yeah, what's going on?
I'm like, I just saw a guy who got fucking shot in the head and they're like, you want
me to send fire?
I'm like, I could probably call her here.
Tyler.
After something say, I just don't even know.
I just don't know.
You could call him from here.
Jesus Christ.
Some of the stuff you say, I'm just like to this happened or is this real?
I pulled up next.
Luckily I had the bulletproof ambulance.
He started pumping around.
No, he ran away into the passenger window.
I jumped out of the ambulance.
I took a defensive position.
What that actually happened?
I'm like, dude, what the fuck?
I took an oxygen bottle and threw it on the ground as hard as I could.
It launched out of the nose.
It launched like a missile towards him.
Hit him right in the nose.
Oh my God.
So I took, like I did a couple of questions like what color your eyes and shit.
So doing the one thing, right?
Yeah.
You tried yourself most on your determination, imagination, resilience, intelligence, originality,
optimism, kindness.
It's your one bro.
It's your wands man.
I'll say determination.
Okay.
Traveling alone on a deserted road, you reach across roads.
Do you continue left towards the sea, right towards the castle, head towards the forest?
What do you choose?
This is your one.
What'd you choose?
I chose castle because I think castles are cool.
You know, I'll go towards the forest because I don't want to just like leave our Jenkins.
There's princesses.
Yeah.
And whores, bro.
Do you most fear fire, darkness, isolation, heights or small spaces?
Well, obviously, you know.
Small spaces.
Yeah.
In a chest of magical artifacts, which would you choose?
A dagger, ornate, mirror, glittering, jewel, bounce, scroll, golden key, dusty bottle,
black glove.
I chose a knife.
Key.
Key?
Yeah.
What would you choose?
Because keys got to go to something.
I like the knife.
Keep you busy for a while trying to figure out what that is.
That's a tough one.
I'll go with the jewel.
So on eBay.
Yo, cypress.
I got my one cypress wood with a Phoenix core 13 and a quarter inches reasonably several
flexibility.
Hell yeah.
This was 60 bucks.
Yeah, but you can actually go to Orlando, Universal Studios, and you can go around with
that and there's certain places in the park that you can actually do like a motion once
you're one.
And it actually gets this one.
Yeah.
Go to the Orlando Universal Store and go under Harry Potter and then you can look it up.
So how does it does it have like some sensor in it?
Like look at the top of it.
Yeah.
Like that thing right there is probably the sensor.
Oh, shit.
That's that's good marketing.
But some ones are like it's not marketing.
It's real.
It's not marketing.
It's fucking real, bro.
No, but like, like some ones aren't on there, but I was lucky enough that my wand was go
to interactive ones.
Yeah.
Oh, yours is on there.
Warny.
Um, Hitachi magic wand.
Magic wand.
What the fuck is this?
Is this it?
What?
Interactive wand.
Yeah, interactive wand.
Let me see.
Is that the one that you got?
Yeah, but you can you can.
Arrow Potter.
So, Dan, did you watch any of the Harry Potter movies?
Yeah, I watched the first one and then I started watching some of the second one.
Sweet.
You can go through and like that's Lurch and Phoenix Feather wand, Aspen Unicorn, like
black walnut dragon heartstring.
Like it's just like those ones.
Oh, sweet.
That one was mine.
The dragon heartstring one.
Well, it says Cyprus Wood with a Phoenix core 13 inches, you know, mine just happened
to be 12 and three quarter inches because you don't really get to figure it out.
Like you don't really get to do that.
I think all of her 12 and three quarter inches.
Yeah, but that's what mine is.
And I'm just like, I found a cadaver.
Murder.
That's awesome.
Bro, you should do your fucking one, man.
Figure out what mine is.
Yeah.
I remember in the first, what is that, the first movie where he goes to like the one?
Yeah, if you actually go to the place, if you're a young kid, you actually have a chance
to get picked out for like that like ceremony thing.
Oh, really?
It's pretty cool.
And like, like the guy gives you a couple different wands and the one that like chooses
you, you hold up and like it fucking does like a whole bunch of light and like wind comes
by like you fucking like it shows you and they're like, oh, hey, that's your one.
You stop buying it though.
Yeah, yeah.
That's awesome.
You go through all that shit as a kid and then your then your parents are just like,
oh yeah, we're not buying it.
I'd be like, you can't not do that.
Do they know that?
Yeah.
Like, damn it.
Get to buy this kid a fucking wand.
Fucking plastic one from China.
Let's see where it's made.
Taiwan.
Is it?
I think so.
Yo.
What?
Is it made?
Where is it made?
Let me see.
It would say in here.
Made in China.
Go figure.
Damn, that's sweet though.
That's come up to so many.
Why can't we make this in America?
How many different kinds of...
Wait, where is it made?
China.
Of course, everything's fucking made in China.
So if we fucking go to world China, we're fucking China.
We won't fucking have anything.
You know how much this would...
That's why we don't fucking get into World War three, Tyler.
I honestly wouldn't want this made by Larry in West Virginia.
Expecto Patrona.
Yeah.
Ever since that Harry Pond wand factory opened up, I've been doing pretty good for my
salary.
I bought myself a new truck.
Got myself a new girlfriend.
Got a double wide bag.
Expecto Patrona.
It would literally be like five times the price.
Like a $200 wand.
They have ones that are made out of real wooden shit.
Because when I was a kid, my grandma, I was super into Harry Potter when I was a kid,
like way more than I am now.
And my grandma got me Harry Potter's wand and Voldemort's wand.
And like it was really, it was like made out of real fucking wood.
And it came in like a thing like this, but this was like soft like like a plush material
and it came with like satin.
And it had like two little like things that you have to like fold open to it.
It was like the box itself was really cool.
And then like the wand was like actually made out of real wood.
It was pretty cool.
Yeah.
Where does the idea of like a wand come from?
Basically it's just channel your your your your power through it.
Because there you can get a lot of stuff.
You can do it because there you can technically do something with just your hands,
but you can like focus it into this and it makes it way better.
It's like more direct.
Yeah, it's like a it's like it's like a conduit pretty much like you it goes through that.
I kind of want to look this up.
But dude check it dude go to go to Wizarding World, make an account and then do your wand.
So then we all have one.
I'll check out.
I'll see what I'll see what one.
Because I am a grief indoor.
I'm a griffin door.
I had a horn beam and dragon heart string one and my Patronus is a fucking horse.
Where do you work?
It's not words.
Wands.
Where do wands come from?
History.
Works.
Let me see.
Wands were introduced into the occult by the 13th century Latin grimoire grimoire.
The old bound book of onerous.
The wand idea from the book of onerous along with various other ideas from that grimoire
were later incorporated into the 16th century grimoire the key of Solomon.
What the fuck this shit is.
People aren't fucking around with this.
In modern times wands are usually associated with stage magic or supernatural magic.
But there have been other uses all stemming from the original meaning as a synonym of
Rod and Verge.
How'd you sign up?
Or how did you?
Oh, we just go to the Wizarding World site.
Bro, too bad Ali Max not here because I love this movie, The Goblin of Fire.
Oh, The Goblin of Fire is probably one of my favorites.
Wait, wait, wait, we're going to take a break.
I'm going to call Ali Max, see if he can join us virtually.
Alright.
Welcome back to Unpuddle Podcast, The Goblin of Fire.
Today we're talking about hairpods of the Goblin of Fire.
The best one.
So, our story begins in a dream.
Fucking, they're going through this fucking house and it's all fucking spooky looking and shit.
And it's all dark in my green lighting.
And you just see this fucking dude's arm sitting in a chair and the rat man from the last movie
is some new guy that we don't know the name of.
And he's sitting there and he's just like, my lord, there's someone in the house.
And then fucking the guy goes, come closer.
I have something to tell you.
And then he's just like, oh, what's going on?
And then he goes, I'm out of cadaver.
And then fucking Harry wakes up, green lightning in his eyes.
He's like, oh, hold on.
Schizophrenic boogie.
So he wakes up and he's just like, whoa, my scar is hurting, man.
My scar is hurting.
And he's like Voldemort's near me.
And then fucking Sirius Black wrote to him and said, hey, man, if your scar is hurting, that means Voldemort's near you, bro.
Yeah.
So the next morning, fucking, he wakes up and he receives a letter from the Weasleys
asking Harry to join them at the Quidditch World Cup.
And fucking the fat ass uncle with cross-eyed's like, I'm not fucking let you go if you just get the fuck out of here.
So then they go back and they arrive at the Dursleys boarded a fucking fireplace.
They just kick through the fucking fireplace.
And they're just like, Harry, how you doing?
You fucking retard.
And then they're like, all right.
And then-
Yeah, I think that's in the book.
I'm going through a synopsis of the book, but like it's super similar anyways, but whatever.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah.
So fucking the Dursleys panic and throw things at the Weasleys.
And then he's like, no, don't worry about it.
So then fucking Harry gets taken to the fucking just peaks of some random mountain.
And they go through and they fucking like go to this fucking place and they had to touch this boot.
And they got to touch this fucking boot and this boot takes them to like this different place.
And then they're like, it's a port key, Harry.
And Harry's like, what the fuck's a port key?
Yeah.
And then he just grabs on this boot and it's like a fucking like size 10 like men's like work boot.
And they get fucking transported to like this fucking place.
And by the way, I used to when I was in the high school band, I used to we played Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire soundtrack.
Really?
Yeah. One year. It was awesome.
So we did that.
And then they get to the fucking place and there's a bunch of fucking tents everywhere.
And then they're going to the Quidditch World Cup.
It's basically just the World Cup for Quidditch.
So they're doing that shit and fucking they go in and they're in this fucking tent and they go into the tent and it looks like a normal tent for me outside.
But it's like a fucking house inside.
And they're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, we're the Weasleys.
We have red hair and we're Irish.
And then they're like, we want the Irish to win.
And then somebody's like, but what about Victor Crum in the Bulgarians?
And they're like, well, he's one of the best fucking Quidditch players in the world.
So they're like, all right. And then they go to the fucking place and they go to this fucking thing.
It's a giant fucking arena.
And then they're walking up and then they're going up the stairs and fucking Draco's just like, oh, can you tell me if it's raining up there?
You're gonna be the first to know it.
And then fucking Draco's dad, Lucy's mouth, was like, we don't talk like that to the scum.
It's like, we're better than them.
So they're fucking doing that shit. They get up there and then you just see the fucking Irish come through and they're flying on their brooms like, yeah, the Irish.
And then you just can see the Bulgarians come through and they explode a fucking leprechaun.
And then there's like, there he is. It's Victor Crum. He's going, yeah, yeah, I'm the best. Yeah, yeah.
So they play a fucking game and the Irish win and whatever.
So they're fucking going through and they go back to the fucking tent and they're just like, oh, yeah, did you see the Irish win?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they just hear like a bomb go off outside and they're like, it must be the Irish.
He's like, and fuck runs.
Dad comes in goes, it's not the fucking Irish.
He goes, we need to get the fuck out of here now.
And they go outside and everything's on fire.
And there's these dudes with fucking skull masks and these dudes with skull masks and just going around chanting and just burning shit.
And there's like, fire. And there's like, we need to get the fuck out of here, man.
So they run into the woods next to the fucking thing and Draco's there.
He's going, what? What?
Draco, what are you doing here? Get out of here, man.
He's just like, what?
Fucking run off. And then Harry's still there. He got knocked out or some shit because Harry's always very good at getting unconscious.
So he's fucking sitting there and then he looks up and this guy just goes blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And he fucking shoots something up in the air and his skull fucking head with a snake coming out of its mouth comes out in the sky.
And then everybody's just like, oh, no, that's the dark mark.
That means that Voldemort's fucking doing shit.
And he's like, whoa. So then fucking Harry wakes up there and then like he wakes up and they're like, oh, Harry, how are you doing?
And then like fucking like six dudes come out and they're like, what's your fucking lockdown?
Dude, it's like a fucking wizard SWAT team.
Like, put it in the fuck down, boy. Put it in the fuck down.
Like, don't shoot him. He's a kid.
And he's like, oh, hi, Harry. What's going on?
And I'm like, did you see who did that? He goes, there's some guy over there.
And they're like, go get them. And they run off.
And they're just like, what the fuck was that about?
What the fuck?
So they go through and they fucking they do shit.
And then fucking they go to the they go to school like the Hagi warts again.
They go to Hagi warts and they take the train.
Dumbledore is like, this year I'm really gonna try to fucking kill you, Harry.
This year I'm gonna really try to murder you, Harry.
And like Dumbledore standing at the fucking top of the fucking thing with the fucking like lexicon.
And he's going, all right, children, this year's a very special year because we're going to do the Try Wizard Cup.
And then he fucking goes like, and then the fucking Goblet of Fire comes out.
He's just like, that's the name of the movie. It's the Goblet of Fire.
That's the fucking name of the movie. It's right there.
So he's like, well, we also have guests.
And then they're like the fucking French bitches and the French bitches come in and they're wearing like this blue like bonnet and like fucking like sexy ass like fucking outfits and shit.
And they come out and they just go, they let me go like this.
And they walk down the hallway and they go, and they walk down the hallway a little bit and go to the other side.
And then they go down and there's like, ah, beautiful, the women here.
And then they're like, and the Bulgarians from the other fucking school and these fucking sigma males fucking come out with fucking like canes and shit.
They're fucking fucking walking down the hallway, smack it on the ground like we're alpha males, bro.
And then like fucking there's like spitting around shit that some guys breathe fire everywhere. He's going, ah.
And then everybody's like, whoa, those guys are pretty fucking sigma male.
So then fucking Victor Crumb comes in and he's from that school and everybody's like, dude, that's Victor Crumb.
He's this Quidditch guy. Whoa, that guy's pretty fucking cool.
So then he's just like, and then then Devil Doors like, now hold on a minute.
Since we're all here, I have to tell you, because of the dangers of the- of this game,
we are only allowing people who are 17 years of age or above to go into the tournament.
And he's like, boo, fuck you, I want to die in a tournament, fuck you.
And he's like, silence!
I said nobody under the age of 17. He just goes.
And he draws like a circle around it, around the Goblet of Fire.
And then fucking whole bunch of people are starting to fucking, you know, go through and like put their name in the Goblet of Fire.
And Victor Crumb puts it in, he's like this, he goes, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do it.
And this bitch from the fucking like, the sexy school comes through and she's like, boop, and she's like, I'm hot.
And then fucking Cedric Dickery, aka fucking um...
Oh Twilight?
Yeah, Twilight.
Yeah, Edward Cullen.
Edward Cullen from Twilight.
The fucking Vampire Man from fucking Twilight is like Cedric Dickery and he's in fucking Hogwarts.
But he is like, I'm gonna put my name in too.
And everybody's like, oh yay!
So you got Mad Eye Moody too, right?
Yeah, that's the next scene.
So they fucking go into this fucking, the defense against-
No, no, no, no, no, no, that happens first.
So then like, you just see this guy walking into the castle, he's all fucked up looking, he's got like a weird fucking eye and shit.
It's like a fucking bulbous thing, that's like in a fucking like, fucking metal casing and shit.
It just goes all around, he's walking through, and then a fucking lightning bolt shoots through the ceiling, he's just like, get the fuck out of here!
And then he's just like, good to see you, Mr. Double Door, he fucking shakes his hand.
And he's just like, alright! And they're like, everybody welcome Professor Moody, he is an ex aura, which is like wizard FBI.
And they're like, oh that's cool.
So then they go to his class the next day, and then in the next, they're in the class and he's just like, my name is Professor Moody!
And he fucking writes his name on the board, and he's just like, and I'm here to teach you about unforgivable curses!
And then he's just like, you can't teach that here man, that's like against the law or something man.
He's like, shut the fuck up! And he throws a piece of chalk at some kid's head.
And then he's just like, listen! And he just goes, can anybody tell me the name of one of the curses?
And he's like, somebody's like, my dad taught me about Imperial, and he's like, yes, correct, Imperial!
The curse that will allow you to control another person's mind.
And he pulls out this fucking bug out of his fucking bag, and he just goes, Imperial!
And then he starts like, puppeting a fucking spider around the room and like dancing around with it.
And everybody's like, whoa, that's pretty fucking funny. Why is this unforgivable?
And he's just like, he's like lifting it around and fucking throwing it on people's heads and shit.
And then he's like, boom! Ha ha ha ha!
Look at you! He's got it like, he likes you! And he's like fucking throwing it on kids.
So he takes this fucking spider back, and he just goes, Miss Granger, Hermione!
Do you know another unforgivable curse? And she's like shaking her head. She's going, I won't say it. I won't say it out loud.
And another kid, he's like, you! What is it? And he's like... the cruciatus curse?
Decorate the torture curse and he fucking takes the fucking thing and he throws it down on the table and he just goes
Crucio and the things are going
Like fucking like flailing about like it's being tortured he's going
He's like fucking staring at it like fucking
Like doing shit and it fucking reminds like stop it. Can't you see your heart?
And he goes the spider thing yeah, and he's just like he's like stairs out of his like cunt. I was trying to teach something here
He goes up to another person and he's just like
What is the last unforgivable curse and nobody's answering he just goes
It's called the killing curse
There's only been one person to survive the killing curse and he's standing here in this room with us
He looks over at Harry and he just goes you are the only boy on the entire planet that has ever survived the killing curse
He looks over at the fucking like little fucking spider thing
He's goes a lot of cadaver and it just fucking goes
And it like just goes limp. It's like killing curse
There we go, so it's fucked up. Yeah, he's a psycho. Yeah
So then they're just sitting there and they're like all right
It's time to announce the people who have been selected by the Goblet of fire
So they're sitting there and it takes it takes three wizards
So you're like all right cool one from each school and then they're like all right number one is Victor Crumb the fucking Bulgarian guy
Just goes yeah
Yeah all the time and then number two the hot bitch from that one hot bitch school
And she's like yeah, and then if Hogwarts
Mr. Twilight
She's like my skin sparkles in the sun
And then like after all that's done another name comes out of the Goblet of fire and everybody's like there's only supposed to be three and
Then fucking mr. Dumbledore fucking takes it out of sky
He's like Harry Potter
Potter Harry Potter
Harry Potter
He's like fucking like sprints out of fucking thing and the and they keep fucking good goes out of the room and like Harry's like running away
He's scared and this fucking guy chases him down. He's like, hey
Did you put your fucking name in a goblet of fire did you put your fucking name in a fucking goblet of fire you fucking
We started to put your fucking name in the goblet of fucking fire
He's just like no double-do I did he's like did you have someone put your fucking name in the Goblet of fire
Did you have an older person put your fucking name in there? He's like no he's like okay cool
Never mind don't worry about it, and they're like we said calmly he said calmly but in the movie. He's just screaming at it
So he's fucking this like what the fuck man, and then they fucking have like a teacher's meeting with like the minister of magic and shit
They're like well obviously the rules say if it gets picked from the Goblet of fire they have to compete like he's fucking 15
And they're like yep still works whatever
And then
And then like fucking
Ron starts being a real fucking edgelord and like hating on Harry because he's famous or some shit
Oh, yeah, and then he's like well must be nice to be fucking cool or some shit
And then like Harry's just like shut the fuck up Ron. You're a fucking bitch, and then like I
Don't like you anymore. Don't talk to me and then fucking then Hermione like comes up to him like the next day
It comes up to Harry, and he's like she's like
Ron told me to tell you that like six people told him that Hagrid wants to see you
And everybody's like what?
And she goes Hagrid wants to see you and he's like well you can tell Ron that he can see like she's like
I'm not gonna keep going back and forth between you two fucking retards
And he's just like okay, so he goes to see fucking Hagrid and Hagrid's like oh Harry
How you doing I gotta show you this fucking cool ass shit that I found
It's just a bunch of fucking dragons in the woods. Oh, yeah, and they're like whoa, man
So then the next day comes it's a day of the first event of the tournament
And they have this fucking bag and they got this bag and like fucking they're like looking the bag
Oh puts her hand in the bag and Victor Krum goes first and he's fucking picks up a fucking green dragon
And he goes yeah
And the fucking bitch comes in she puts her hand and she gets like some like black dragon
She's like huh and then Twilight but just fucking hand the bag and he's just like
Okay, and then fucking Harry puts his hand in the bag and he gets this fucking dangerous ass like evil dragon
And there's like this sucks to be you Harry
So then they have to go and fight those dragons
And like everybody gets it and like the whole thing is you have to get the egg from the dragon and it's protecting it
So then Harry goes out there gets fucking bitch slapped by the dragon a few times
Summons his fucking magic broom so he can fly around on it flies around the castle a castle gets fucked up the dragon keeps attacking him
And shit. He's like whatever and then he's like
Okay, whatever so he gets back and he steals the egg and everybody's like yay
And then they have a fucking party at the dorms for him. It's like
Harry Potter Harry Potter you're the best yay
You're the best so he's like do you want me to open the fucking egg and everybody's like yeah open the fucking egg
And he's like you want me to open the fucking egg and everybody's like yeah open the fucking egg
So they open up the egg and it just goes
There was like what the fuck was that he closed it in me's like alright everybody let's go home
They fucking go back
so
Few nights blah blah blah blah
Everyone is ecstatic soon afterwards
Blah blah blah Harry gathers the he so then professor McGonagall fucking comes in and she's like
All right everybody we are going to have a dance and everybody's like oh man
I got to ask a girl to the dance. Oh man. That's real shitty. Oh man. I don't know how to talk to women
It's making me sad. How do I talk to women?
But then fucking he's like
But we are not gonna have you disgrace the name of our great school
So I'm gonna teach you how to dance so this old-ass woman just points at Ron
It's just like you're gonna fucking dance with me bitch
And he's just like well, I don't wanna dance. He's just like you're gonna dance with me
So he's gonna she's going one two three one two three one two three and Ron's like
I don't like you you're old
So they do in that shit
So they go through like there's a bunch of like other stupid like smaller shit that happens and then fucking
Harry tries to ask this Asian bitch to the dance. It's like I'm sorry Harry, but I'm already going with Twilight
He's like oh fuck man. You're right cool. I'll go out with an Indian bitch instead
There's like an Indian twins and then fucking her hit him and Ron date the Indian twins and then fucking everybody's like oh
Who's who's who's who's Hermione going with and it's fucking Victor crumb fucking fist pumping guy
And everybody's like oh she looks real hot in that dress. I'm like she's 15
Yeah, yeah, I got this hot bitch with me. Yeah
They go through and then Harry has to dance with this like
Indian lady and like it's the it's the champions dance first and then everybody else can dance like afterwards
So they do that and then it fucking after that they have like the do the hippopotamus
Yeah, do the hippopotamus and dance around like you're a fucking retard
Yeah, so they do that and then after the dance fucking runs like
Victor crumb only wants to date you so he can fuck you pretty much and
Then Hermione's like I don't want to fuck him. I want to fuck you you fucking idiot and he's just like what?
I think she likes looks at it. She goes you should have the goal to ask me instead of some
Slut and runs away crying and then fucking runs like
women
I'm just off the weeds here
I've never seen this. I believe that this is exactly how
Then he goes to figure out what the egg what the egg has and then fucking he's like
Then fucking twilight comes up to him when he's just outside and twilight comes up to me. He's like hey, man
I know you helped me out with those dragons and told me about him. So
Try going to the bath
And like he shakes his head at him. He's like what he just goes yeah
Make sure you take your egg to the bath with you
And he's just like what the fuck does that even mean? He's just like hey go and take a bath
With the egg
That's literally what he said to I'm not making that up. He was like go to the bath
Yeah, and take your egg to the bath. He's just like
Okay, so they goes into like the the bathroom and
This ghost comes out from the first from the second movie moaning Myrtle morning and she's like
Hello, Harry, and he's just like and he fucking takes the bubbles and like puts it over his cock
And he's like he's like hi morning Myrtle, and she's like
You should take the egg and put it under the water because that's what Cedric Dickery did aka twilight
And then he's like
Okay, and she goes it took him so long that almost all the bubbles went away
And I'm like she definitely trying to fuck from the ghost sphere
And fucking Harry's like alright, and he fucking takes the egg under the water
Instead of screaming it's like a song it's just like you only have an hour to save your friends underwater
If you know how to get underwater for an hour you gotta save your friends blah blah
singing songs
And then Harry's like oh
It's obviously the black lake or whatever so then they're going through and then fuck
They're going through and they walk by fucking professor Snape's fucking thing and the leader of the fucking
Russians the Bulgarian school is going look I have a fucking mark too you have one
It's a fucking dark mark that they saw in the sky like that guy's evil
That guy's definitely evil
Senator like the fuck was that and then Snape's like you didn't see anything
And walks away and like does like a weird cape fucking thing and he walks away, and I'm like alright. That's something and
And they go yeah this song
Sounds like Celtic woman
So basically I had the gist of it you know
so so they do that shit and
And
They go there and but before they go there
He's like how the fuck am I gonna breathe underwater and then fucking Neville long bottoms like I like
fucking plants and
Harry's like that's great. You're gonna probably get some sort of disease from that but whatever dude
He's just like Troy gilly weed. He's like what the fucks gilly weed
He's like it allows you to breathe underwater
So then they're like okay, so they go so he gets to the fucking platform and he eats the gilly weed and he starts going
And then fucking professor Moody's like good boy you good boy come on boy. What are you doing?
He's throws it into the water and here's going
And he's down under the water and then he's like wait a minute. I got gills now so I can breathe underwater
You know
It's like what can't happen
So they're fucking going down under the water and they're like going through and then they see their fucking friends
Literally chained underwater for like an hour
Like there's like three students and like to like just run Hermione
It's Ron Hermione chow the fucking Asian bitch that's why lights dating and fucking some like six-year-old girl
And I'm like but Harry's like okay, so then he's like going and trying to untie Ron and then fucking
And then fucking
Fucking Victor Crom it's a shark. He literally turned to a fucking shark person and just fucking just goes
And then bites the chain apart and then drags Hermione to the surface and then fucking
Fucking twilight goes down there and he saves
Fucking Chao Chung is her name the most racist name ever very tiny chuchang Chao Chung or whatever
Chuchang but still super
And they fucking do that shit
and
they're under the water and
Then the one lady the hot bitch she just can't do it anymore
So she surfaces and she's like well, I guess your kids gonna
racist to have a name that is of
Asian descent
So fucking they do that shit
But then Harry like unties Ron and then like but like before he unties Ron
He looks over at Twilight and Twilight started going like pointing out a fake watch on his hand and Harry's like
Okay, that means like times almost up type thing because him and him and him and the
Twilight are kind of working together kind of not like it's like one of those things where it's like an alliance type thing
Cuz you're from the same school so like okay, we'll kind of help out each other
So he fucking saves Ron and he goes over to save the other girl because she's just gonna fucking drown if she stays there
And then the fucking MIR people come along. They're like only one motherfucker
He can only take one and he's like okay, so he starts going up and he goes
Poop and then like the chain breaks and they all start going ah
Chasing after him and then Harry does like some spell and they all fucking get paralyzed for a couple minutes
So they fucking swim to the top and his gills are starting to go away, so he starts going like I
Can't believe so they gets up and they're like whoa
Oh, he made it and then the fucking hot bitch goes you saved my sister
I'm so in debt to you and then fucking he's just like no man. Don't worry Harry
Come in me Harry and then fucking Harry's just like no man. Don't worry about it. She like kisses both his cheeks
He's just like yeah, I should have got the water right now cuz I got a boner
And then fucking like they go all right in
first place
Centric dickery twilight, and he's just like yay. I won and then in fucking second place
Would be Victor crumb, but it's not because Harry showed like what was it like school spirit or some shit like oh
Courage saving everybody else courage by saving everyone's everyone else
And then like they're like all right. You're in second place
So they're like okay, so they go through that shit fucking other shit's going on
so they he goes to find a
Double doors pensive. Yeah, which is something that you can put your like your head into
You can put your thoughts into yeah, like you put your memories
You take a cum booger out of your brain and just throw it into the pot
She's a barbie crouch was is the the guy yeah the game yeah
Portiment yep, and he finds him fucking dead. Yeah, he's like what he's dead
Who boy and so basically he looks into the past and goes back in time to like
What ten years ago 13 years ago when he was born yeah
When Voldemort was taking over yeah, yeah, and he's like oh
Oh Victor Barty Crouch jr. Your son is the fucking death eater death eater
Yeah, and he's just like no I'm not and they're like and then they grab him and he's just like hello father
He does like a weird tongue thing
So fucking Madden Moody comes back again
He's like doing shit and like Madden Moody this entire time. It's like drinking like a fucking flask, so he's always fucking plastered
He's always just drinking out his fucking flask, and I get ways like I don't think that's pumpkin juice in there
They were just like yeah, he's probably fucking
plastered
So and then we get to the best part
So they go to this fucking place and it's a giant maze
And like everybody's like yay, it's a maze and I'm like the maze and they're like alright professor
You should play this fucking song at bed
every day so we touch the at 730 in the morning
So they went to the fucking maze thing and like professor Moody has put the tri-wizard cup at the end of the maze
And only he knows where it is so there is this like and then fucking double door goes okay everybody huddle up
So like they come along
And he's like now this maze can drive people fucking insane
And they're like what he's like there's a lot of crazy shit in that maze
It'll drive you fucking insane
So if you want to quit just shoot red sparks into the sky and everybody's like
Okay, so they go to the entrances like each of the four entrances and fucking
They're going through and they're like alright
Let's let the thing begin before he finishes begin the fucking guy shoots the cannon and double door looks up at me
It's like
Bro, what the fuck?
But then like Harry's like looking into the maze and like professor Moody's like looking at him
And he kind of does like one of these things like he's like he points to the left
Like he's like go like away like everybody's like looking at him, but he's like facing towards them
So like he just goes like this
Go
So they're in this cheap kind of yeah
So they're going through this fucking maze and like it's a real spooky maze and like it keeps like fucking
Shifting and shit and like the fucking trees and shit keep trying like to close off and like changing the maze all over the place
In the book. It's a lot more complex
Yeah, it's like animals like trying to kill him and shit
Yeah, so they're going through all that shit and then like they're fucking going through this goddamn maze and then fucking
Harry finds like Harry hears the hot bitch scream. He's just like oh fucking he runs over
And she's being absorbed by a fucking wall. He's like red sparks that bitch
So they get her out and then starts getting real fucking windy
And like winds going
And then fucking like he's like then Victor Crumb is like going around like this when it's fucking wand
he's going like
And then he here and then Harry steps on a twig and he turns around and just goes
Victor Crumb curses the
Fleur right yeah, and I he's like going
But his eyes are all glazed over so he's under the furious curse that I told you about earlier the puppet curse so
Then Cedric Dickery's just running along
He's like
Ah and fucking Victor Crumb's just like shooting fucking abracadabra's Adam like trying to kill him
He's like oh fuck man. What the fuck dude, and then fucking
Twilight keeps on going bro, and he keeps and then Harry's like he's cursed don't do it
He's cursed and fucking Harry just goes bloom and like puts him to sleep and then sends up another thing of red sparks
So then he's out of like Victor Crumb's out. He's done
So it's just him and Twilight
And they're fucking running down they see the car it's at the end of this quarter by the way Cedric Diggory hated fucking
Robert Pattinson hated fucking Twilight. Yeah, he did so he's running down the fucking thing
He's running and they're both running and they can push each other and shit
They're like I'm gonna get to it first I'm gonna get to it first
But then Cedric Diggory gets fucking caught by the vines and there's one of the trees. He's like
Oh, oh shit fuck
He's like help I'm dying and Harry's like
Booty like burns with the trees and shit and Cedric's like oh fuck dude
Let's go get that fucking cup, but we'll do it together. So it's a tie
So they sprint over to the cup and they grab it and they both grab it and they get teleported to this fucking graveyard
You know shit, and this is what shit is real fucking
And then fucking they get to this graveyard
And there's like a whole bunch of people there and then fucking no, it's so Peter Paddock root
It's Wormtail. Yeah, the fucking rat man from the last movie. He's just standing there
And he's like where are we?
Yeah, then I killed that spare and then he's like
I thought I could offer it kills Twilight just fucking murders him. It's kill Cedric. Yeah
and Harry's like
And then he is like they fucking like picks up Harry and throws them into the grave and the grave is actually
Thomas riddle the first great. Yeah more smaller dad's grave. So Harry's like I
Uh, I can't escape oh and then Voldemort and then so they do like the whole ceremony
We're like then like a bunch of black smoke comes down and like first see first. He does the ceremony
Yeah, he's like a bone from you. So they take his father's bone
Yeah, and they take Harry's blood and they cut and I'm gonna tell cuts off and they take his servant's flesh
Yeah, they cut off fucking worm tails own hand
He's like and they throw a Voldemort the baby
Of course
And they throw me throw him into this pot and he magically comes back to life
But he has no nose and he looks like a lizard person. He's a who's the actor that plays I don't know
He's a really famous guy
But he is like
Harry Potter, but he's going around Ralph Ralph finds
Yeah, but he's like going around and ripping off the mask of like the black like like miss some of his death eaters there
He's like you're a failure. You're a failure. You're a failure. You're a failure
You didn't come back to me when I need you. Yeah, and he's like especially you
Loose his mouth boy. It's actually fucking mouth boy's dad. That's a death eater and you're right
Some hand fucking he's like oh I almost forgot about the guest of honor
It's Harry Potter. He like goes over to him. He's like now. I can touch you Harry
But I'm like he's like really like creepily like goes over to his head. He's going ah ah ah
So he's like screaming and he's just like come over here Harry
And he opens up the grave so here he could like come out of it
He's like I pursue mr. Dumbledore taught you the basics about dueling first
We bow we must do that. We must go with the pleasantries and he goes I
said
What he fucking like throws his fucking wand at me just goes oh
He's just like and then we take our stance
And then he goes
Crucio oh, yeah
Pain
Crucio crucio sees torturing him and he gets on this is like no Harry. I want you to look at me when I kill you
I want you to look at me when I kill you so that he fucking goes along
He's like a lot of condom and then Harry's just like
Expelliarmus so they're fucking going back and forth with magic and scum
Lightning's coming out of both ends going
So
Then like this fucking force field goes around him. He's just like nobody do anything. I gotta be the one to kill him
It's gotta be me. So and he's like everybody stand back. I'm gonna kill him
It's gonna be me so I go back and forth and his force field comes out
His parents some ghosts come out of the ones the ghost comes out of fucking fucking volumar's one and it's fucking Harry's parents
Some dude and fucking Cedric Dickery
Aka it's why I like hey, can you take my body back to my dad?
Like take my body back to my parents Harry take my body back to my parents Harry take my body back
And he talks to his mom dad
Go back to the porky go back to the porky Harry. We'll hold him off break the connection Harry break the connection
So like I don't want to break the connection
I don't want to do I miss you mommy and daddy. I miss you mommy and daddy. They're like we know
We love you Harold
And then he's like okay, he breaks the connection fucking the ghost just like absorb fucking Voldemort for a couple seconds
He's going the ghost are touching me. I don't like it. It's weird. They got dead hands
So fucking he grabs the body of fucking Twilight. He's also like
fucking whatever accio
And then grabs the fucking cup
And then they're playing this music right? He and Cedric come back and Cedric's fucking dead
So he grabs the fucking cup and both of them and Harry's crying over the fucking body of fucking Cedric and then he's just like
Cedric's dead
Voldemort's back Cedric's dead
And then his dad comes down and he's like
That's my boy!
That's my son!
My son! That's my boy!
That's my boy!
And they're like a boy's been murdered. Everybody remain in their seats
And then fucking moody fucking grabs Harry's like this isn't the place you should be seen right now Harry
And he goes along and then like he brings them to this fucking like classroom. He's just like
What was it like?
And Harry's like what was what like man? I just saw my friend die. He's like
The Dark Lord was he magnificent?
He's just like
He just Voldemort man I don't know what's going on
And he's just like did you feel his dark power radiating off of you in the graveyard?
And then Harry's like yeah wait a minute
I didn't say anything about a graveyard
And then fucking he's like oh you're too smart for your own good
And he tries to take a swig of his fucking whiskey
He's like oh no he's going through and he's like picking up bottles and like smashing them
He's like oh no and then fucking a door explodes
And then fucking the door explodes and fucking Dumbledore comes in
He's like fucking pins him to the wall and he just fucking
He just wanded up to his fucking face like this
He's like what's going on here
And then fucking Snape comes along with fucking potion
He puts it in his mask like to truth serum potion
He's like are you moody? Are you Alastair moody?
He's just like no and then he's like is Alastair moody in this room with us
He's going and then he kind of like looks over at the fucking like fucking box that's in the corner of his room
He kind of like one of these things like his head like goes over to it
So they open up the box and like it's like a fucking huge fucking
It's like clunk clunk clunk clunk clunk it's like six boxes in one
And he looked down and there's just a pit and there's fucking the real moody down there
He's just like hey Dumbledore yeah the fucker got me
And he's like laying down there and then the fucking guy starts going
He turns back into fucking um
Barty Crouch Jr.
Barty Crouch Jr. the fucking guy who was in the trial
And he's just like he's a death eater
He's a death eater so then he fucking flips open his fucking his Snape flips open
He's like whiskey flask and he smells he's like that's Polyjuice potion
Which changes you into a different person
So then he's like who the fuck are you why are you doing here
And then fucking Dumbledore is like I think you should send an owl to ask a ban
There will never be a prisoner's missing
And then they fucking have like a conversation or some shit
They have a funeral for Cedric
Yeah and they have a fucking funeral for Cedric
And then fucking he looks over at him
And he's looking at all the students and he just goes
A student has died
A student is dead
He died
Voldemort's back fuckers
I can't deny it anymore
Voldemort's back
And I'm gonna say his fucking name
Voldemort is back
And everybody's like oh no man Voldemort's back
And he's like yes Voldemort is back
And then he's go back to a normal school day
And like all the people are leaving
All the people are leaving
Yeah the year ends
The year ends and like all the schools that came like the fucking Sigma male school
And the hot bitch school
They're all leaving
So Victor Crumb comes over to Hermione
And he's like hey call me ho
And she's like okay
And they're like and that's the end
Oh my god that was great
How long is that fucking movie?
Two and a half hours long? Jesus Christ
Probably close to that
Dude that was like a half hour
I was in the middle of watching the next one
And it gets real political in the next one
Yeah
But like political in like 2006
It's kind of like a metaphor for like government
Really?
Specifically the British government at the time
Oh
Huh
Pretty cool
Yeah I just watched the first one
And then I started watching the second one
And these fucking assholes come and pick up this kid
Like out of his room he's like locked in his room
And they come and pick him up like in a flying car
Yeah
I'm just like dude this is shit
I can't even like
I'm just like if anything's possible
My head just hurts
I can't comprehend
Like I can't make any predictions about what's gonna happen
You just don't know
Cause it's like we're dealing with magic here
So I'm just like
Oh you need a thumbnail fucking take this
Take a picture
Oh okay
You got it?
Yeah stand by
Hold the phone hold the fucking phone
I like this music
Also Harry gets super angsty
Alright cool
Well in the next one Harry gets super angsty
Yes
Alright
So that was that
Send that to me
Oh my god
Oh man
The fourth one
Alright the fifth one is kind of weird
The sixth one is
Kind of weird
And the seventh one is split up into two parts
Yeah
There you go I sent it to the group
Sweet
Damn
Alright
That was good
That was awesome
That was impressive really
I don't know how you do it
It's not that hard man
Yeah I dude honestly
I'm telling you my favorite movie I couldn't recite back to you
I watched a tv show
And I couldn't recite it back to you
And I almost did it word for word
That was amazing
So what I do man I got autistic brain
Alright
Next time on my public
Untitled podcast
Ali Max coming back
Hopefully
He'll be sitting right here
Maybe
Fucking hate that guy
Who the fuck bro
Anyways
Thank you for watching
Like us on facebook
Like our youtube channel that we haven't really done anything with
But we will eventually
Send us your tits
If you're of age
If you're over the age of 18
Send your tits to us that'd be kind of cool
I agree
And you guys can find yourselves
And each other
We out
For all we know robots have souls
We just don't know if they do or don't
How do you know
Have you ever been a cyborg
Or a robot
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet
Fuck no
I don't see some little dubbies
No
No we are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole
Yes we are
There's people out there with some really dumb fucks
Extended
Episode
Where the fuck did the pieravins come from
Where the fuck did stonehenge come from
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts
They're killing
They're killing all the already born babies
And selling them to the chinese
Alienly exist
Somewhere in china
In some days
There are super soldiers that are at least 9 or 10 feet tall
Oh my god
I thought they were the stars
They have red and super soldiers
They are extraterrestrials
They are aliens
I do not know the alien
What the fuck
I don't know
What?
We gotta go in the fucking room
Because J.M K. got assassinated
By the fucking government
I'm killed by the shit I hate
J.M K. was killed by the government
Before my eyes
While holding their pulse
Feel them die of this virus
You feel bump bump bump
Nothing, they're fucking gone
I've seen it happen
I think that the government has
Taken it to the next level with the birds
They know what birds are going to cross
Caps with you
They're gonna make them
So fucking real
They know
That if you put that motherfucker in a cage
They're gonna be able to do that
You can cut it open, you're gonna see blood
No circuitry, but let me tell you their technology
It's out of the solution
Which by the way big brother
Is the overlord
We're only living in the third dimension
George Soros is an actual Nazi collaborator
Okay, I'm not fucking lying
It's fucking real
Okay, look it up
He says that he was doing this shit
George Soros actually worked in the fucking Nazis
During the whole
He says that he was doing it just to survive
But he fucking loved it
He was having a great fucking time
George Soros is the fucking devil
Okay, I'm not fucking lying
I'm not fucking lying
George Soros is the fucking devil
Okay, he's not fucking doing this shit
George Soros is the fucking leader
He's the actual fucking leader for all this shit
He's fucking fucked down
A whole bunch of shit
He's the fucking leader
No, that'll drop the fucking word
First about them
He's dropped the actual fucking leader
It's George Soros
It's Bill Gates
It's fucking Elon Musk
It's everyone out there
It's everybody out there
It's Elon Musk
It's so cool
It's trying
It's actual people government
George Soros and all the fucking Nazis
are actually the one there
fucking all of them
The queer politicians are paid off by the fucking billyweds
The pain fucking is lost
by the billyweds