For all we know robots have souls, we just don't know if they do or don't.
How do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
Do you think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet?
Fuck no.
No, no, we are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole.
Yes, we are.
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts.
Extended episode.
Where the fuck did the pyramids come from?
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from?
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
Ugh, they're killing all the already born babies and selling them to the Chinese.
Aliens exist, as you can see.
Somewhere in China, in some base, there are super soldiers that are at least nine or ten
feet tall.
Okay?
Okay, so did they come from the other side?
They are.
They see stuff.
Something like that.
They come from our planet?
Are they super soldiers?
Then they are extra terrestrial, they are aliens.
I do not negotiate with pyramids.
I do not deal with them.
RABBIT!
RABBI!
RAAABI!
RAABBI!
RAAABI!
RAABI!
RAAAABI!
RAABI!
Well, the other two were females that only knows what they were up to in there and furthermore Susan
I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them habitually smoke marijuana cigarette
Reapers
Welcome welcome
Um, I'm titled 11
The double ones
Love it. Well, I'll tell you at first who's not here
Who isn't here?
Ali Mac once again, I like that smoke too many joints and guess who's here
Tyler Lee as always once again
I
Think we're gonna have to
Put him as a guest as a guest member. Yeah. Yeah, because he's here for one or two to to guess status
Yeah
I like him. I love him. I don't like him. I love him. Oh, it's gonna be on tight podcast featuring
Casey Dan Tyler with special guest Ali back from now on
Dude I feel like Goodman and Ali Mac have been at the same amount of Ed episodes
I think maybe he said that he would try to
Come after work, so I should be here by now
Text him text him
Going on yeah, dude fucking eat a cookie. It's delicious David's cookie sponsor a podcast
Where are these from?
Shop, right?
Shop, right? Oh
You know, it's gotta be good
We never pray called shop, right we only pray call because there's only shop rights around here retard fuck I'm gonna get bleeped again
Yeah, try to fucking cool it with that I
Know it slips sometimes. You're pretty fucking good. I
Held a baby today
Like a real one. Yeah, I got a new cousin. I got a new cousin. Sorry
Yeah, you got at work. No, no, no, I never want to hold babies at work because they're normally dead
Liability or just born I hate that worse
Because then you gotta like wipe them off and shit and they're all slippery. I'm like I'm gonna drop this motherfucker
Or they're you know
Or they're like jello babies when they just melt in your hand because you know fetuses shit
Did you have that happen ever? Yeah
Dude, this kid told me a story
Where not to get you know too deep in the weeds on EMS stuff?
He went to a call and he pulled one out of the toilet, and it looked like mr. Peanut
Yeah, because we had one and
She just fucking had a she was like fucking like four months pregnant or some shit
And she like fucking I guess passed the baby because it's not really birthing when it's dead
Whatever but like just fucking I was there and I was brand new and EMS and the firefighter goes over and goes hold this
In my ungloved hand. He just puts a fucking fetus that just melts in my hand. I'm like
And then he put a fucking towel over it he's just like alright take it with
the mic
Okay
He's like so the doctor he's like the Dodgers gonna want to see this like okay fucking flush it
And she was fucking what else are they gonna do with it?
I never learned is at what point you just flush the toilet one point you gotta take to the hospital
I think after when it starts getting like hands and fingies. Oh really? Yeah, oops I fucked up
Do you see that a friend of the podcast beepus was on the news for being famous again
No, he said to the fucking line of pizza
I didn't know that was on the news. I'll tell that off the air
Now I'm curious
But he's beepers always gets in trouble with shit always got trouble for it. Yeah, he got a serious
Shit always got trouble for it. Yeah slap on the wrist. I guess oh, I didn't think I've watched that clip
I didn't think there's anything there really wasn't anything wrong with it
But like you know is that what the whole like focus was about it's HR
No, it wasn't him it was the police that they were focusing on but then our HR is like
Why does he fucking dragged him down the stairs?
No, they didn't drag him down the stairs there. You know carried him like you know you do to fucking insane people
anyways
Anyways, I got a bunch of topics. Do you have any topics? I do
You mind if I do mine first or it's a real simple one
If all drugs were legal every single one of them, which one would you use cocaine like regularly? Okay? Well, obviously
You know what I'm gonna say. So you're gonna say weed you say coke. I say steroids every fucking day
Dude I want you fucking blown the fuck up bro, bro. I could get you those right now
You can only use one drug. I could get you a call from a doctor
doctor quotation marks
And you could get on that shit tomorrow. Yeah, but don't don't prescription drugs count
Yeah, sure you could count that but doesn't alcohol and nicotine count. Oh, we're saying they're already legal everything
Like if we're saying like all drugs were legal I would do steroids or DMT
I think it's conspiracy. I think it's being blown up right now blown out of proportion
for
Pharmaceutical interests, but did you actually see that?
Natty bodybuilders actually look better than steroid bodybuilders. Yeah, dude. There's no way there is no
The steroid fucking users look like clouds and like the the Natty guys have like more like veins and
like the the Natty guys have like more like veins and like fucking cuts and shit dude Natty guys look like
Like wrinkled ball sacks. No, they look terrible. I
Learned daddy guys. Oh, you're not in the fitness. Are you?
Natty it just means natural but there's a there's a big like there's a big
Argument in the in the bodybuilding community versus Natty and steroid users. Yeah, some people are fake Natty's. Yeah
Yeah, they say they're not
the
Biggest fake Natty dude fucking you ever see what's his name the guy who runs zoo?
Bradley Martin you ever see Bradley Martin. He says that he's Natty. This motherfucker is definitely not Natty. He's fucking gigantic
Yeah, I don't understand the point of bodybuilding like what's the appeal? I don't
Legislature so weird. I think it's a body dysmorphia
It is dude. We could talk about that how body dysmorphia and bodybuilding is a fucking
Travesty like there's a huge huge huge fucking like
correlation with because the whole thing with that is
The guys it's like it's I really feel like it's like the guys version of like like anorexia like sure
Like the what the fuck would you call it?
Like like like working out so much that like you're actually hurting yourself
Is that like is there a word for it or is that just kind of like a thing?
It's just like self harm like self harm
but like like I feel like that's the male version of like anorexia is that like you work out so much that you're like and
like you're doing steroids and shit and like you're like progressively like
The biggest problem with steroids is actually that it like fucks up your hormones for the rest of your life
Even if you do like one cycle of them not one cycle. No
It you have to be on it for years to shut down what's called the hypothalamic pituitary
gonadal axis and it's the axis of all those hormones from your pituitary gland to your
What I say?
Hypothalamus
Pituitary gonadal you should be a pharmacist you're like so no you are super knowledgeable about this
I'm just like I looked really into this stuff because I tried testosterone for a little bit
Yeah, see what it was like dude. I went on it for like three months. Did you just make you angry?
No, no testosterone doesn't make you angry. Um, it just really like you have all the one that makes you fucking pissed off all the time
I'm not sure about d-ball. There's like d-ball like anovar
Really?
Dude, just playing testosterone would never make you angry. You'd have to take so much
There's some bodybuilders that take what I was taking weekly daily really. Oh, yeah, because like I I go to the gym pretty regularly
And in the in the gym locker room, there's always the fucking locker room gremlin with fucking steroids in their fanny pack
Like he's always like hey man, you want some roids this time? I'm like, yeah, man. I told you last time
I don't want fucking roids like he always asked you every time. That's a drug dealer. Yeah every time. He's like, yo, man
You want more AIDS? I'm like no, dude. I don't want fucking roids. I want to just work out
He's like, all right, man, if we want some roids though, you know where to find me
That's crazy. Do you think that women that are bodybuilders or like have
Like muscles are attractive. Um, it depends. Okay, I like I like muscular women
A lot I do but there's a point when it stops being attractive and starts being scary
Yeah, you ever see lean beef patty like that's like the type of body like I'll pull up a picture
I think it's always scary when we have muscles
Just personal problem. I like powerful women dude. They're hot
Women in positions of power where the older women. Oh, absolutely
Yeah, like this type of fucking like this type of fucking
Like this type of fucking like this type of strong but once they get like you see this shit
Like they got like a six-pack and they got some like muscle definition, but they're not like gigantic
Yeah, yeah, like that's the type of muscular women that i'm attracted to type in uh, no women women on anovar
And see what comes up. Let me see here
What's anovar anovar is another uh
Steroid, but it's like it's like if you took testosterone
Testosterone and put it on steroids. It's like probably on steroids
Probably a hundred times more powerful than testosterone
I think we're not getting many pictures. It's mostly just like shit like this. It's like
Really? Yeah, I like women women bodybuilders look terrifying like like I like the like the lean beef patty
Like I showed you like that's the type of muscle like that
I like it's like you still look like a female but you're muscular
Yeah, the dude the ones that look like dudes with you know, like without a dick or they're kind of scary. Yeah
No, thanks. Yeah, it's kind of
Body that looked like they could crack your head between their thighs. There's some okay. There's some like that that look all right
Like this is the type of shit that's scary. Like you see that shit fucking see that shit. Yeah, that's scary. That's steroids
And so the the dead giveaway, uh, it's the face shape for people that are on steroids
Are if their pectorals are out basically further than their stomach really really hard to do naturally. It's the trifecta
Deltoids are overblown and the muscles right here
So on the neck so if somebody is uh
Lats lats. Yeah. Yeah. So when you see somebody that has giant lats
Giant delts and huge pectoral muscles like dead giveaway
So somebody's like they got like a six pack and like their pecs are kind of like out a little bit
That's possible. That's because like i've seen a lot of natty guys that have like the the pectoral muscles that are like
You know
They're like built like if you actually like feel like your actual pecs like as like just like even a normal guy
That doesn't like work out all the time
They're still a little bit further out from your stomach if you don't have like a beer gut
That's from like a lot of like bench pressing
Yeah, like bench press push-ups push-ups because like I have like a little bit of that like I have like it's a little bit extended
um, but it's not like ridiculous but like I have like uh, like like I have pecs because they're they're coming out a little bit but
I do 100 push-ups as soon as I wake up every morning. That's awesome. Yeah, so simple stuff like that is like really
Yeah, because people are always like how do you lose weight so fast and how do you like get like muscle man?
I'm like literally I wake up. I do 100 push-ups. I do 100 sit-ups and I do 100 squats
I do the one punch man fucking workout routine
um and like it's it like literally you do that shit and then you eat like healthy basically I eat under
2,000 calories a day when I'm doing like my my actual like hardcore workout like shit
I fucking shred like fat and I gain muscle so fast and you're 23, right? Yeah
I mean dude the difference I used to be able when I was your age
I could just do oh no, I'm 25
Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean you're still I'm still yeah, I'm still able. Yeah, it's
The difference between 25 and 30 is a huge difference astronomical dude
The next five years is so easy for you to put on muscle when you want to
Like dude, I literally used to be able to just like cut down carbs and just do a little push-up pull-up
um, like uh jump roping routine
Yeah, every day and run a half mile and I get shredded. Yeah out of my mind. Oh, yeah, absolutely
Now I do that every single day and I still have like fat I can grab
Yeah, that's your body just changes because um, I worked out since I was 12 years old like for football and boxing and shit
um
I wasn't able to get muscle mass like actual muscle mass until I was in my 20s
Like I would get like, you know stronger, but I would plateau I would plateau hard when I was in like my teens
Like from like 12 to like 14. I wasn't able to like get past like, you know benching like, you know, 90 pounds
Then I got to like 16 to like 18. I started being able to bench like, you know 120
But like I was working out literally every day besides two days of the week
And I was only able to get to 120 and I was benching almost every single day and like I just plateaued like and like every
Single time I try to get up to like 135 or like 130
I'd be like I can't like I physically like my arms, but you know the shaking shit
Like you can't get it up like then I didn't work out for like two years
Like I was in my 20s like I was 21 years old. I was benching 135 starting and I'm like and I'm like
There's a difference then my dad is like pretty in the fitness
Um, because like he can't really he's paralyzed from the waist down. So he's a lot like upper body shit
But like he he's like
There's a difference between kid strength teenager strength and grown man strength and he goes you don't really get grown man strength until you're in your 20s
because and like and like from all the shit that i've experienced that's true because
If you look at like a average like man who's like, you know
2024 25 26 like above there and like they compared to like a teenager who's like an athletic teenager
a grown man could beat the shit out of like an athletic teenager like absolutely because like
A grown man has like different like muscle mass compared to a teenager like by a lot
Because like when you're in your mid 20s like you're at your peak and then I guess a teenager
You're just starting and even if like you're the most athletic teenager like a regularly athletic like adult male
Could beat the fuck out of a super athletic teenager. Yeah. Well around age 26 is the point where you start
You stop growing and start like aging. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, that's when your testosterone starts to drop. I need to get this fucking picture. Well it's like 30 starts to drop but there's another hormone
There's another hormone
Dihydra epi androsterone dhea. Yeah, so that's like responsible for
It's precursor for all your hormones everything so like everybody's like, oh, yeah testosterone is like the main hormone that you want
Right, but it's really you want a balance of all your hormones and you want them optimized
Like you don't necessarily just want this one hormone like all the way overdriven, you know, yeah
it's kind of like it's kind of like the
Cables on a suspension bridge like you you don't want like any one more tight than it should be
You know, it's really just like balanced
Altogether there's so many hormones like also back to muscular women just for one more time
Like that's another one that's like a good-looking one
Yeah. Yeah, but I mean her arms are getting to the point where it's like scary just a little too big. It's a little scary for you
Like she could overpower like I have like an average like
Athletic males like sized arms and if you start getting bigger than an average athletic male arm as a female
You're pushing it
Yeah, like if you have like if you have like uh, like a like a like bodybuilder arm as a female like a bodybuilder
male's arm as a female
Chill out on the roids. Yeah
Yeah, I mean
you know too, um
About the hormone thing like your hormones are really responsible for your creativity to
Yeah drive and all of that and your neurotransmitters are downstream from your hormones
So like you see all these bands like try and come back
Like in their 40s and my chemical romance blank 182. Yeah, almost like 50
Blank 182s in their 50s. My chemical romance is
45 as their average age so they're like, you know, it's this it's getting to be dude
It's like you don't have the same creativity you had and tell us all the fucking stones
They are fucking torn to look there are 70s bro, but they're playing the same old songs in yeah
Yeah, I saw a cannibal corpse last week and they're I think in their 50s and they're just this guy screaming and whipping his hair around
So strange still it's still good
He's got this he like head bangs so much that his neck muscles are like it's just he's like a fat guy now
But his like neck muscles are just huge
Really? Yeah, his name's uh corpse grinder from cannibal corpse. I gotta be careful. Let me look at this guy corpse grinder
I'm not talking about grinder, you can type it in
corpse
Grinder
Corpse grinder neck it came out. Oh my god. He looks like a just like a triangle. Oh my god
Patrick star
Because he well, he doesn't really have being he like whips his head around the circle. So his hair
So his hair like whips in the circle. What the fuck that guy looks like a thumb person. Yeah
Yo, that's the same person bro, that's hilarious this dude looks like the fucking thumb thumb from spy kids
That does your your brain? He's probably on so many roids. It doesn't matter. It's probably like
the same picture
Yeah, this is the same picture
These are the same
Yeah, that's got to do something here. It's probably got like some
Some low-key tb. I never see those people with hits like your thumbs
No, what's that? It's fucking weird. Like when they go like this their thumb bends backwards. Yeah, dude. They're scary, man
Oh, wait, you mean like that like when it bent it like bends further though. No, wait up
See I can pop my joint out like that. Yeah
Yeah, you got a freaky thumb man, it's freaking me out
Are you on the lookout for this though? I've never seen that
Yeah, that's what it is. Some people can do it like more so it's like more angier more angled than this
I don't think that's that bad. It's not super angle. Like we're talking about like like uh, there's there's a there's a picture
I can't do with my other like this shit like you ever see that shit
It's his hiker thumb, bro
Like I I cut off my thumb so I can't even bend it further back than this
Like like see how my thumb is right now, that's the farthest I can go back because I cut off my thumb
So I can't go back any further. Oh, yeah. I never told you guys that story
Yeah, you did. On purpose intentionally?
You did about 10 fucking times
I don't think I've said it on the air, but I'll tell it. I've never heard it
So I was a kid. I was fucking what 12 12 13 years old and um
My mom like cut up a watermelon
So like, you know, she leaves the rinds in like the the sink to like, you know, like drain out and shit
So my dumb ass goes over with a fucking knife and I'm like, you know
It'd be real funny if I made a face out of this so I started carving like a jack-o-lantern into a watermelon
And I'm like, okay, I got all finished and I'm like hold on
A second I dropped the knife in the sink and I'm like, hold on a second
It needs a tooth. So I went back and I started cutting
And then I fucking slid my hand down the knife because it was wet and then I was like
It wasn't bleeding or anything and I'm like, how did I not get cut from that? And then I looked down and my thumb just goes
And I'm like, oh
That's not good. Can I cut like right through my cartilage?
And it like it like went through my thumb and the only thing that was holding it on was the tendon back here
Damn
So I actually had to get reconstructive surgery on my hand
I actually have like major nerve damage on my hand now. Like I can't feel like these two fingers
Oh
But like I have full range of motion except for backwards with my thumb like I can do I can do this
But I can't like go like it's
I can't really go further back. How old are you? I was 12
So I kind of like and I have a delayed like my thumb's delayed compared to like like the rest of my things because it actually has like a disrupted like
like
The nerve is disrupted. So um
Like when I when I have to close my hand because I've lived with it for you know, half my life now
It's basically like second nature to say to close my thumb first before everything else
Um, but if I don't like if i'm like like thinking about a bunch of other shit like I go to pick up a glass
Instead of like going like this like I just go like this and it fucking just slips through my hand
Damn, so um and my pointer finger like the one side of it is like numb and then like basically all of right here
Is like numb. Wow
So it was
I i'm ambidextrous
Because I
That's another story when I was in catholic school. I was left-handed at birth
And I went to catholic school and the nuns really didn't like when you wrote with your left hand
Yeah, that happened to my friend in high school. That's fucked up public school
Yeah, they really didn't like when you wrote with your left hand. So like they'd smack the table with rulers and shit and be like right hand
I'm like
Okay, so I learned how to do everything on my right hand
You know why because the left hand is the devil hand or something. It's the devil hand left is a sin
Yeah, that's why this is this hand is the unholy hand
What the fuck? Yeah
Isn't left like always the unholy direction
Not necessarily. It's just I think it's just left-handed because most right hand to God like right hand to God like that shit
And that's the reason why you wear your left hand to the devil
That's why you wear your your wedding ring on your left hand because it kind of purifies your left arm
No, I heard you're wearing a wedding ring because um, that's the modern telling that that's like but that's not true though
It's not but the modern like retelling of that because it used to be like a catholic or christian thing where you'd wear your wedding ring on
Your unpure arm and then it went to the the thing where it's like, oh you're fucking you have a vein that goes directly from your left
Pinky your left ring finger to your you have a vein every in every finger. Yeah, so it doesn't fucking make sense. But like
It's like those directly to your heart, but I'm like, yeah, this was this is like the unpure arm
So I actually had to learn everything right-handed. So now I write right-handed, but I do like I bat left-handed
I throw right-handed just because it's like easier because most things are made to throw right-handed
And I play bass
Ambidextrously, I actually have one bass that's right-handed one bass. That's left-handed sick, bro
You should play them both at the same time
So you guys vote in the midterm elections? I did I voted I did not
Fucking ho chill. I fucking hate ho chill. Why don't you vote?
Me? Yeah, uh
I just figured it doesn't have anything to do with me making money. Yeah, I
Just figured it didn't matter because they have a fair amount of money
Yeah, I just figured it didn't matter because they have a fucking two-party ticket because they they
Made all the third-party candidates like not on the ballot. Yeah, it's just like well
They literally the fucking party in control
Passed the law that said or not a law but like a policy that you don't have to include like third-party candidates that get less than
one percent of uh
Really petition signatures. So then what that means is that you have to vote for one of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
It's all a sham. That's why you you have to write in like your alex jones party candidate alex jones. Yeah
So
Everybody who listens to this podcast in the next election in two years in new york state vote tyler lee for governor
Tyler lee for governor of new york state. I will be the best governor this state has ever seen. Oh, yeah
Um or tyler lee for senate or tyler lee for the house either one i'll fucking run and i'll win and i'll be for you
I would vote for you. Absolutely. So I saw this interesting article here about the midterm elections
Must you
It's about how different
Like groups voted in the midterm elections. How about uh white males between 18 and 25?
We have that so men men voted 54% republican god damn right baby
And women voted 49% democrat 48%
Um, what was the female 48 49 48 democrat
49 48 wow
So
And then we have by age 18 to 24. Is it pick up from behind 49 and 48? That's only yeah
We're missing some percentages there. Yeah, the other the other the other percent actually votes. Um, the third party third party
Oh, I see
Or actually i'm actually unaffiliated uh, politic party wise
um
But I vote republican. Yeah, I um
Um, I have on mine republican, but I want to get rid of that because it'll limit your opportunities train cars one day
um
That the democrats are gonna yeah, yeah, they could somehow get that information and
Tell me I have to get in the train car
I know like you're gonna have to jerk off into the thing to you know, make lesbians able to have kids
Oh god
I never thought about that
I'll be dead before that happens. Hopefully
Hey, guess what brothers I got a saying for you and the saying comes from our favorite alex jones
You know what the you know what the answer to 1984 is is 1776 brother
That's right
Um
So household income are you an info warrior? Yes. Yes
So household they separated by household income
Under under $25,000 was democrat christ under
25,000 now you gotta have a was was was democrat the rest of the income brackets were all republican really
But but it was very kind of even like 50s and 40s
But but that tells you how many people make that little money. That's yeah, because that's unbelievable under
25 000 14 percent of the people were under 25 000
Well, also a lot of younger people
uh vote democrat, I feel like 18 year olds are too retarded to vote
Yeah, they're just like they're gonna make i'm gonna vote for democrat because that's what tiktok told me to do
You know, I used to be like bro when I was like 20. I used to be like
Anti-corporation bro, the fucker corporations, dude. They're out to get us bro. Like that's how I used to think. Yeah
It's like bro. You need corporations my mom. I was actually it was actually pretty funny my uh,
I my brother is like super like left wing and i'm like and i'm like I told my mom like it's a joke
I'm like dude, you're raising a democrat. She's like
Yeah, well most kids are democrats. Like I was never a democrat. She goes. Yeah, because you had a miserable life
I'm like, thanks
So then they did one by education level high school or less was 56 Republican god damn right brother
40 40 percent democrat. I'll be one of the first to vote
40 percent democrat i'll be working in these oil fields
I've been working in the goddamn mines for 41 hours
She's goddamn democrats stealing my goddamn paycheck
Associates degree or some college was 53 Republican 44 Democrat. I got some college college graduates were
50%
Um, so it's down the middle. I'm sorry. Some college was 53 Republican
College graduates were 50% democrat. Oh wow. Look at that, huh?
It's like the uh, it's like college is a fucking brainwashing tool for the democrat. Post graduates were 58%
Democrat
What about when you get to phd level well that is phd. Oh just all post-graduate
Masters phd all that combined these guys dude, you'll get fucking brainwashed in college everybody who's watching this who's under the age of uh,
You know 18 and you're looking at colleges. Don't get a fucking skill or join the army be a fucking man
That's a better option
Join the army
Yeah, uh, I mean not that it's a bad thing. I'm just saying I think there's better ways to make money
Yeah, but
Yeah, I learn a skill. Oh god. I can't even find it but they were saying I was also reading that the more like
people that are religious any kind of like catholic religion is uh more republican for sure
Because I love jesus bible thumpers like jewish people, but that's a thing actually
That's a thing
christian denominations, um because I actually went to church this morning. Um,
Um, I actually want to talk about that. Um, but my priest said
uh, but uh, I uh like
Catholic is like the more militant version of christianity
And like evangelicals are like fucking like hippies and shit
Um, and then there's like the baptists who are like, you know black
um like
There's no really better way to think it's like the black church. It's like the church like it's like christianity
But like for african americans like because like there's things more like community-based
And like that's another thing because like if you actually look at the different denominations of christianity
um
There's catholicism which is like the militant like we're going to do this for god
Uh, you're a sinner
Fucking repent repent repent do what you got to do
You're going to be a sinner for the rest of your life
But guess what keep on repenting and tree keep on trying to do good, but you're still a sinner
And then you got like things that are like methodist, which is what my girlfriend is and they're like, you know what?
They're like the hit go to methodist church. Yeah, they're like more like hippies like they're like, all right guys
And I did go to church by the way when I was a kid. Yeah, and they're like, all right guys
we're gonna we're gonna have our speaker come up today and
Because they're like, all right, we're gonna have our uh
Our speaker come up today and do this as a fucking catholic. They're like, all right, please rise for uh, jesus and you're
No, that's baptist like fucking
I could do the whole southern baptist fucking preacher shit. I do that really well, but um
Catholics is like fucking priest comes in like all rise
I'm like fucking standing attention the priest comes in holding the fucking bible up above his head
And he's fucking walking in and like he's fucking has like incense going like with the fucking like thing and he's going around and he just goes
Sit and you like it. We all sit down speaking of incense like we'll get back to that. I'm sorry
Yeah, where the fuck's the incense thing? What I was digging that last time. Yeah
So yeah, I guess i'm carrying on and like he comes in like you sit down. He's like
All right
Um, let us uh, let us pray at the and each denomination of a church like the catholic church
Like each church is based off like a saint or like uh, like a holy figure and you do their specific prayer
Like I go to st. Michael's church
So we did st. Michael the archangel's prayer and they said all right say st
Michael's the archangel prayer so we can all join in that and then you go. Okay, you may be seated now
So you all sit down and then you do like your first couple readings the priest kind of talks
And then uh, he goes, all right stand up. We do some like, you know prayers and stuff
You know sit down
Um, he goes he reads from the gospel. Um the gospel he then he tells you after the gospel
He kind of does a like seminar type thing afterwards. Like he's like, okay
Um, so I read this out of the bible
Um, and he kind of like does like his own like kind of talking point about it like he's just like
Jesus in this one
In this this sunday I went to um
He uh, he read a he read a verse about um
um jesus in the end of the world and like he says like a lot and like
What he said actually made a lot of sense because he goes a lot of secular people
um
Like are obsessed with the end of the world
They're like a war and famine and all this shit's going on like it's going to be terrible
And he says a lot of like religious folk are like, okay, it's just another day and he goes
Why do you think that is and he goes because
Even if the world ends we know that there's something else after it
So it's not like with this world ends. There's it's that's it like it's not the main event
Yeah, they said he and he also said like when when life ends like when after death our true life begins
Pretty much type thing. Yeah, and like I was like, that's a real fucking dark fucking
Thing but
He uh, he said that i'm like, okay
but then you go to like a baptist church and like baptist churches are like
All right, i'm reverend l sharpton. All right
I'm gonna come in and tell you about the lord jesus
All right. Can I hear you say?
Jesus and I can't say jesus. He's like I can't hear you. All right, let me tell you about the lord
Jesus and like praise jesus. He goes hallelujah brother
Hallelujah brother and he's just like all right. I'm gonna have you sing for the lord. Let him hear your brother
Let him hear your brothers and sisters and like jesus
and like jesus
Is every southern preacher steve harvey
Like all right, you know who uh, you know who's out there the devil's out there brother the devil's out there
He's gonna try to bring you down brother
Anyway, and everyone's like
We don't like the devil. He's like the devil's shakes at the name of jesus
All right
Jesus, okay
And then fucking he's like and everybody's like let me hear you say jesus so the devil will shake
And it's like jesus. He's like the lord can't hear you. That's not gonna make the devil shake. Let's hear you say jesus
brothers and sisters
We got
We got sally may on the keyboards today. Let's hear for sally may
Oh, yeah, and she's like
And we have the lord's choir over there and it was like, yeah
Oh hallelujah lord and i'm like and like and as always we got reverend hallelujah on the stage and like
oh everin
Everin and it's like all right
So in this crazy world that we got going on today this crazy world
With war and fame and injustice. Yes, you're fucking out there and you're saying
How is the lord out here with me in this crazy things?
But that's what I said brothers and sisters brothers and sisters. The lord is always with you
The lord is always with you. Can I get a praise jesus?
I can't hear you if I can't hear the lord can't hear can I get a praise jesus?
Praise jesus hallelujah lord
Now i'm gonna pass this collection tray around
I don't want to hear any change. I just want to hear a hundred dollar bills, baby
Money naco
Jesus christ
Literally, oh my god, that was awful. Um, I do a pretty good impression though. I thought it was a good impression
I was going to go to a black church. Yeah, i've done calls at black churches
Yeah, it's like get too into it. Yeah, I have heart attacks
Bro, um, okay. What percent of white voters do you think voted republican a lot of white?
Closest one to the to the correct number wins. All right, so hold on. Let's let's see if we can figure this out
With some logic. Yeah, right
Are we talking about the entire country? Yeah
so
It's not 50 50. No, i'd say it's like closer to like 60 60 40 probably predominantly republican
So there's a difference between okay. I think that's a good number
We'll talk about the difference between mager republicans and established Republicans later if you guys want to I think that's a pretty good one
Uh, but well, I i'd say 60 60 40
30 38 percent whites
Voted wait republican. Yeah. Oh no, it's gonna be higher than that. I'd say 60 60
Oh, yeah, it was 58
Oh, I was gonna say 58 too, but closer to 60. All right. Well, for some black voters, do you think voted?
Democrat 82
I think that's a good number. I agree
It was 83. Oh, man. I'm fucking on the fucking
I'm fucking on the fucking money. Praise Jesus about latinos latinos. I feel mostly republican
58 republican, um, i'd say like closer to 52
percent latinas
No, 56 percent democrat 39 percent
Damn, I gotta learn more about my ethnicities and political choices. Yeah
Um
How about I got frankincense and murder?
Incense sticks, so i'll bring that next week so it can smell like yeah, I like those
How about uh, this is my um like community?
So what percent of urban voters do you think? Oh, that's gotta be like in like the high 80s like mid to high 80s
69 percent
63. Oh really? No shit suburban
Um, what percent democrat suburban? Yeah
Um, I feel like that's kind of torn though because you got like the republicans conserved
You got the republican suburbs and you got like the democrat suburbs
I bet that's the also got like the 50 50
You also got like the wine moms that are always going to be like democrat and you also got like the you know
Gun toting dads that are going to be republican. So it's i'd say it's close to like 50 50. Yeah 49 48
Look at that. Yeah, how about rural?
Rural is republican rural is definitely republican. That's gonna say i'm gonna say 83
Yeah, 85
67 damn really? Yeah
surprising
Yeah, well we're talking about the entire united states too. Apparently it's not like new york rural because new york rural is fucking red as hell
Yeah. Oh, yeah
Which is also insane. Did you look at the actual map for new york state albany county the five boroughs of new york city
um
This county where syracuse is and the syrac county that buffalo's in were the only ones that were blue
Yeah, the entire rest of the state but by population it's that's the thing that sucks because no matter what we say
Up here no matter what we say, even if like we're a democrat or republican
Um, if whatever the city says goes we don't have a choice. We don't have anything like new york city
rules us by
Ridiculous amount. Yeah. Yeah
I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing
It's a bad thing for sure because you know, I really think that new york state should be split into two states
It should be upstate and downstate
You should have basically rochester down is downstate and rochester up is upstate rochester
Yeah, but yeah, I feel like I feel like realize that you would have like three electoral votes in new york city would have like 40
Yeah, but it would still give us power over our own fucking things
Yeah, you know the thing is that we get too much money from new york city
But that's the thing they get all their water and food from upstate. So if we ended up splitting it we could sell it to new york city
Ah, man, I just don't think upstate new york has enough of an economy
But we could build an economy money up here. Yeah, it's like look it's nothing but abandoned factories as you know
Well
Absolutely
All those abandoned factories dude, if you go by uh, if you go by spring street now, they're all gone. They're all torn down
They're actually getting replaced with new factories
Yeah, I mean but actually actually that's another thing we could talk about because
All these like places in upstate new york are getting like actual factories built in them now again
Like the chip factories and like the fucking uh in malta. They got that um
that uh
Micro microchip factory that they that they just put in
Fucking water fleets getting like a couple factories put in
um fucking uh
What's that area? It's um like out by saratoga, but it's not saratoga. Um, like
Galway like galway like uh, no fuck. Ah
It's out by mechanicville
Uh, well, I know it's not malta because you know, yeah, it's not malta. It's it's not mechanicville. It's like right by mechanicville though. Um
Basically, they're putting a shit ton of like like chip factories there and shit
Like upstate upstate new york is actually the the uh, the uh place for like microchips like it's weird like like you
You never would think that but like upstate new york's where almost all the microchips for almost all our technology in america is made
Really? Yeah
damn, um
Yeah, I mean if you take a drive out to like utica though
There's nothing bro
Off on the corner out in utica really? Yeah, he's fucking whacking to be
Famous dude like yo check him out
Dude, that fucking preacher voice hurts my throat. Jesus christ
So you see that a texas judge blocked biden's student debt relief program. Yeah, I think that's a good idea
I know. Yeah, it's an awful idea. Listen buddy. That's fucking stupid. Listen buddy. Listen, bro
Listen, buddy. Listen, bro. Is it blocked for like forever? Is it blocked temporarily?
I don't know because I think like they can overturn if they want like listen boss man
Tyler has to say about this and I got something I want to say about it. So the whole student loan thing I think that
Student loan forgiveness is a good thing. Okay, I think college is a scam in the first place
But I also think that it shouldn't just be completely erased. I think the interest for it should be completely erased
I think that would be a good middle ground because I got another
Because you'd still you'd still have to pay for what you took because like if you just take someone's debt and just go
Okay, it's gone. They're not gonna learn anything from that
There's going to get go more into debt for other things
But if you take away the interest which is always ridiculous and make them pay back basically
If you're making them pay back the money that they took tight shit free public school
How about hey, how about you fucking take a gun buy a gun from a store put it in your mouth and fucking kill yourself
Why do we make kids go to high school?
Why do they kids go to high school for free and force buy a gun and kill yourself with a high school degree?
You can't make any money and then you make them pay to go to college. Hmm because of this business
Hey, I don't have a college degree and i'm making okay money
Yeah, not my point
You know
The thing is is that banks make money by loaning people money
That's literally they they
That's what they have to do to survive
So what you're asking the government to do is step in
on a transaction
Between a corporation and a person
It's why why does the u.s. Government have to step in on that?
Why do you have to get babysat by the united states government? Huh?
Why does the government no listen buddy? Listen listen listen
Listen listen friend. It's different. Listen friend federal student loan. Listen friend
Why do the democrats always want to get babysat by the government?
For everything you want to get free money from the government. You want to get everything from the government
You wanted the government to tell you how to
Fucking you're sitting there and you're like, oh baby go
Oh, I want the government to tell me what to do
We want free money because it should be free in the first place. Are you fucking kidding me? So
I like healthcare you shouldn't
You shouldn't criticize something if you don't offer a solution
So I do offer a solution freedom
All right, so here's my gripe with the whole forgiveness thing
I hate forgiveness. I think that everybody should be locked into sin forever. Well, all right, so I
I avoided taking out student loans. There's other things I wanted to go to school for
I didn't take out student loans because I don't want to be in debt
But if I knew that there was plans to forgive some debt
I would have taken on the debt and gone back to school. So it's not really fair for me because I was trying to be
as financially
Responsible as I could that's what the court case was originally about
That the texas judge tried was a person that had no student loans or had them paid back already sued
Because he was like why that's not fucking fair. He's like, yeah, it's like ten thousand dollars is it's not a lot
Yeah, but you're gonna you're gonna sue just just so other people have to be in debt. That doesn't that's so unfair
I feel like fair that that person had to pay ten thousand dollars. He could have used for something else
You know, and then can we talk about universal health care? We will yeah, we'll get to that
I say we should forgive ten thousand for people that already paid back their student loans
Okay, so if it's a federal loan, okay and give ten thousand dollars of credit to people that want to go to school
Yeah, in that case, that's fair. That's fair across the board. Okay, the tyler lee wants to go
Say he wants to go to nursing school. Yeah, ten thousand dollars you go do it. Okay. How much is nursing school case?
It's probably around, you know 12
If you go to community college, I don't know. It's a lot. I went to a community college. So
How much did you end up paying if you don't mind like saying?
I honestly don't remember. I think it was like
Three thousand a year because
Like like free because like when I when I went to medic school, I ended up paying four grand for two years
um
But like that's like free to yeah including books and shit and I'd say like closer to like 550 like in total
That's so cheap. Yeah, because like um
like it uh
Like when I went to paramedic school, it was uh, it was like that
That's not a community college though. If you go to nursing school at a private college probably
Yeah, but you can still do you can still do nursing school at a community college then finish your your
Bsn, I think it is bachelor's. You have to go to an actual college for that
Or could is there anything that you could do at like the hospital to like is there like a is there like a hospital program?
Where you can go for your bsn. Yeah if you're a tech
Or yeah, if you're a nurse, yeah, so if you're for it
Yeah, so so it's kind of like how like fire departments pay for paramedic school type thing. Yeah, so basically you're you're working off your
Your debt to the hospital at that point
No, they just give you to give you money to get your your
Bachelor. Yeah, but then like you have to work for a certain amount of like time to basically
I'm not sure if there's a commitment
Because I know with um with the fire department that i'm trying to get on to right now. They said that
If I get on as an emt and they pay for my paramedic school
I have to work for that department for like you know two years or something to pay them back for the for the money
That they're spending on me. That's I don't think there's
really but
I think what they should do
is
Any portion so say your gross income is
$70,000 a year right and you net 60
You can you can put the difference towards your student loans
Right and not have any taxable income. Yeah, tell your student loans are paid off
So you're allowed to write that off
Um, maybe use like a matching kind of thing. So so say you want to pay
$400 towards your student loans, right and the government will let you write off that
Double the amount in your taxes. Oh my god, so basically give matching what you're putting up
So if you're making good faith payments on your student loans
Right. Yeah, you can you can write off
It's not really like they're giving you money
But basically the difference between your net income and your gross income you can write off towards your student loans
You know, I went to a private college my first two years. Why would you do that to yourself?
Because I was stupid it costs like ten thousand dollars a year
So I have a semester not to cut everybody off
But I just found an article for a man that fell into a vat of molten aluminum, but somehow survives
Oh my god
Dude burns are like the fucking worst dude, dude burns really are the worst but back back to what you were saying
We could talk about that later, dude. That's like literally literally like what you like my biggest like fears things that I hate are industrial accidents
Dude, oh dude, they're brutal. There is what's the the place in um, albany in malta
Oh, uh, yeah the microchip factory
Did you ever hear the story about the uh air conditioner the 20 000 pound air conditioner that fell on the guy? Yeah
My um, my girlfriend's dad was there well
He works for for the company that that guy worked for and he described it and it was just like horrific
Oh, yeah, and like i've been to a life. I've been to a couple industrial accidents that that happened at that place
Like uh acid burns because like they work with acid there
Like I got a guy who like, you know splashed like acid in his face and shit like it burned his face bad
And like uh, you ever see lime burns
No, what's that? So lime is like the the chemical like lime
Oh, yeah, yeah, the only way to actually neutralize that is with like vinegar and shit
So if you put water on it, it makes it worse
Um, so you actually have to have put fucking vinegar on it and then you actually brush off the the excess
You mean why?
Lime l i m e I think you mean why?
Why I think I think it has why doesn't it? You know, it's not that like dissolves bones. Yeah
L y e like if you bury a prostitute first you cover in this. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know as you do
Oh, yeah. Yeah
No reaction, you know, you like put it in your walls in your basement, you know
Jeffrey Dahmer that shit
Um, yeah, there's something else that
Uh, I don't remember if it was in school or if it was her dad that was telling me basically if you get it on your skin
Um, it eats down to the bone. That's what yeah, you can't stop it
Yeah, like no matter what like you there's no way to stop it. Once it's on your skin. It's going down to the bone
I don't know what it's called though, but um
Yeah, it's a strong base
Fuck industrial accidents, dude
I did I heard a a thing
What
Look at dale's sunglasses
Dude it's got nine eleven. I always make a joke right whenever people make nine eleven jokes
I always say
I'm like not nine eleven jokes would never be funny because it's the second saddest thing that happened in 2001
Well, what's the first praise dale? It's a dale earnhardt
It's february what february
18th i thought february dude if you remember that that's incredible. Yeah february 18. Do you dale earnhardt actually have the same birthday?
Oh, really? Yeah april 29th. Oh, oh, yeah, that's right. You're talking about that on the last one
Yeah, I have a couple weird like like that's another thing that we could talk about like famous people who have the same birthday as you
Because I think on april 29th, there's
Oh jerry seinfeld and I have the same birthday
yeah, I
Saw jerry seinfeld was like an asshole in real life
Same so am I?
Yeah, you are
Michelle pfeiffer has the same birthday as me jerry seinfeld daniel day lewis umma thulman thurman
Masta p
Leslie jordan so if anyone's looking for tyler's um credit card information april 29th 1998
Let's play a game. What's the name of the first street? You look at?
That's gonna be six. That's a model of your first car. What's your your mother's maiden name?
Bro the last four. Oh dude, willy nelson was born on my birthday
Bro, let's play a good game. The last four digits of your social is who has a the last four digits of their social add up closest to
20 um, we'd have all the information to steal his
Dude, I I encountered this ingenious scam actually
a couple weeks ago, I
Think it was something that was for yeah. Yeah, I saw my car. Oh the facebook marketplace scam
I find you ever just look at facebook marketplace and see the fucking insane things that you can buy
Like I saw like an actual gun
Yeah, yeah, then you can buy no it's happened to me every time I try to sell something on marketplace
I get like 10 people that are trying just to do that scam where they ask for your phone number. Well, yeah this guy
What did he do? He said uh, yeah, he asked for my phone number
And then he's like, um, you're gonna get like a verification code. I just want to make sure that you're real
Yeah, it's a google verification code. I'm like, wait a second
I said no if I give you the verification code you you just went to google plugged in my phone number
Yeah, and it sent me the verification code. So now you can get into my google account exactly
I said I explained this whole scam to him and he's like, uh, and then I sent a fake verification code
And he goes that's the wrong one. I'm like bro. I said I literally said I said you must be from the part of india where they have
light in the water
Because I know you're not a liberal person. I'm like, okay
Because I know you're not a little white old lady trying to pull this scam
Dude, why would I give you the real verification code after I just explained to you how the scam worked?
We should do is like next time we get scammed on facebook marketplace. We should fuck with the person
Call him Don Juan
People like pranking um like scammers
Dude, those are I listen to those for like an entire day. They're hilarious. We gotta do that because they have hackers that that
Like scam them back and like steal all their information and they're like, oh are you this person they say their name and they're like
Come on, man. How do you know that man? Come on, man. Don't don't do this to me, man
They're like, oh i've got pictures here of you and i've got the accounts like all the phone numbers from the people you scam
Come on, man. Please give it back
I'm bad
Please i'm so sorry
I won't do it again
My favorite scam call that I got was I got a call and i'm like hello and they're like hello
This is mike williams from windows microsoft microsoft windows. Um, you have very bad virus. Uh, could you please tell me that?
I'm like i'm just gonna throw my computer out man. Thanks for telling me. He's like don't throw your computer out
Please do not throw your cup. I'm like too late. It's already in the garbage can it's raining outside and shit
He was like do not throw your dude
Can you take the top of garbage can and try to turn on and i'm like dude, you told me there's bad viruses
I'm scared of the demons in the internet man. It's like no, they're not don't no demon in internet
Not no demon in internet
Please tell me the the the the number to your account and i'm like dude
I already told you I threw the demons in my fucking computer out of the garbage. It's pouring rain out my computer's
Now he's just like you don't know not not no, no, don't do that
Dude, there's such a screw. You know, what's a bob?
ah
What's that? This is go-hold music
I got a I looked up a facebook marketplace. This is I didn't even look this up. This is what I was
This guy is selling a burger king that he just bought five minutes ago. No law balls brand new
He's probably driving for uber eat
Stole it
um, let's see
We'll type in a letter to facebook marketplace
And we'll see what the first thing that comes up is
Actually here we'll go around. Oh my god, you can buy a fursuit
furry
might have some
common
Um, give me give me a consonant. Uh p p give me a vowel casey. Oh
Give me a consonant. Uh s
Give me a vowel
s
That's not a vowel
I
That's not a consonant
Oh
That's not a consonant you
That's not a constant a
man
e
We'll go with g sometimes why?
Give me another vowel. Uh y
Sometimes why right? Yeah, sometimes why so that's spelled posegi. That's
Posegi
What are you looking at just i'm typing in random bomb robots, no, so let's see what we find
Dude, it's a bunch of those fucking
Those socks from nursing homes with the anti-skid things
I'm up for sale and a safety belt one of those like lift belts that they put around people
It's somebody selling a bunch of stuff from nursing homes
Oh god, you know jesus
um
We'll just do one letter at a time. Let's type in uh, b b
See what comes up
Blueberries can we find here? I say we should put an n
What is this
That's nothing really crazy, um, let's see here
Let's see what the craziest thing we can find on facebook marketplace a giant skull made just type in random a giant handmade skull
A
Antique german wine cork
A literal fucking paratrooper badge from the army oculus damn 100 bucks. That's pretty good
Damn, the beepus sells his fucking oculus dude. He's constantly selling his ocula. It's all over a year
For fucking full value price
Dude
Does he still use it no
Vintage barbershop luxury razor actually might buy that that looks nice
Damn don't find anything good a world war two german gas man half the stuff of shit on fucking
Facebook marketplace is a scam. That's fucking whether you're buying or selling david bowie autographed
guns, yeah
Most of those things that you see that don't have that offer you shipping
Are scams. Oh, no, dude you fucking you go and meet them at their scary ass fucking house
Fucking go strapped because hey, if things go sideways, you can just rob them. Ack ack
Yeah, i've ordered like i've tried to order stickers and stuff and it got cancelled david bowie autographed electric guitar. That's pretty fucking sick
You got canceled the order
Well you we all got canceled too
We have no listeners
There's nobody out there
He's listening to us. I forget we're on the air sometimes fucking sweet, dude
Little Indycar go-kart. That's sick
$1,234 I
Fucking buy it. I'll buy it now. We should go live go buy something
By the most random thing we can
Just do a live actually have a segment about
Well, I'll tell you I'll tell you when we do it but I'm gonna take something like this I'll be back
Yeah, I'm gonna take a smoke. We'll take a quick break quick break. Love you when we come back
We got a doozy for you. Oh, yeah
One day I was born this is all I think of whenever I think of this song fucking skeleton means it's skeleton
Yeah, the skeleton with a cigarette
Welcome back to our title podcast
You ever drink calcium drink calcium, you know milk
Yeah
You know the reason why milk is good for your bones cuz it's white anything that's white is good for your bones
That's calcium brother. I mean is this something sexual?
No, no, no, no, I never see a jug of milk a gallon of milk. That's like a year old. I don't want to it's like
It's like this like yellow
Fluid clear fluid and in the middle is all the calcium deposits really
Like you ever see like cheese curds being made they're fucking really weird looking
Tastes fucking good. They do Asian people don't eat like 100% of Asian people don't eat dairy
100% yeah, I'm just joking
They don't regularly eat dairy it's not part of their diet it's really get calcium pretty spooky
What was last time you saw cheese on your Chinese?
Rattled oh
My god, I like skeletons. All right, I got a good segment we can do so you ever see the show shark tank
Yeah, I love that show like that show. It's like fantastic show mister. Wonderful
So I propose that
That we come up with ridiculous
inventions for shark tank and we pitched them to each other. Okay, I got one
Commercial yeah, I got it. You're like a shark tank. Oh, yeah, I gotta put the shark tank music
yet the time done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done
photography
Retard brain
I like once you start doing it, I'm like, oh yeah, that is the that is the exact music
music.
No,
oh, isn't it shark tank deal music one hour.
This doesn't sound right. That's not it. Now I do like shark tank intro
shark tank theme. Yeah, like shark tank intro.
Yeah,
there it is.
So
you gotta think of a problem. I do.
But this is only a minute long though. Yeah, that's just the intro. Like when
you're walking in and you're like this product is fucking big soul. That is
fuck. Well, I'm going to do fun for canned air.
That one already has a fucking kick started or a shark tank episode.
Oh, do infomercial music,
but all right, go ahead. I'll offer you help
do.
Who do you have a problem? I know you do the problem.
The fuck is this? It's not like some fucking sound like sound of music shit.
You have a problem. I bet you do. Your problem is that your bones are on the
inside of your body and you want to see them on the outside. Well, I have a
product for you. It's called the skin peeler. So what is this product?
Exactly. Have you always wanted to see your skeleton? Absolutely. You have.
So you take the skin peeler and you start at your fingertips and you put your
fingers in it and oh boy, it starts skinning you. Oh wow.
You can see your finger bones now. Isn't that crazy? Well,
next you go to your hand. Oh boy. Now you can see your hand. Wow.
Look at that. The skin peeler is, is it powered or is it a manual?
Oh, it's powered. I was going to say, dude,
nobody wants anything that's not like it's automatically powered and it has
sanitized blades. They have self sanitizing blades. All right, people,
see these blades here, self sanitizing. Okay.
They go right into alcohol as soon as they spin around.
There's a little thing of alcohol and when you put that in skins you.
I think that's a great idea actually, because I was thinking the other day,
I'm like, I'm going to go my entire life without ever seeing my internal organs.
Yeah. Like they're mine and I don't even get to see it.
Like I get some accident and somebody else gets to see them.
Well, so they should have like that brought to you by the makers of the,
I'll give you the skin peeler, the skin peeler. It's called the self lap,
the self laparotomy. I'll give you a hundred thousand dollars for a 20% of
your company. I will. I'm only settling for a million for 10%. I'll buy the
entire thing. I believe in it. I want you out though. You're out. Get the fuck out.
I'll give you a million bucks for the whole thing.
Genius.
Sold to the man in the hood for a million bucks. All right. What's your
invention? All right, here we go. I'll think of another one. Fuck
boom. Deepa. Yeah. Are you like me? Get more done. Are you a mortician or
working in a morgue?
Do you really have to drag dead weight of bodies around and your back hurts
at night? You need corpse crane.
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eye hooks that drill into their bones.
I'm asking you for $10 million for 1% of my company today. I will give you
a hundred dollars for a hundred percent of your property. Fair. Fair. I think
I don't know. You ever while you're in the shower, that hard to reach spot
between your asshole and your balls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just have like a pole
with a little discover on it. They actually have that. That's a real
thing. So as you're scrubbing, you take you watch. That's a real thing.
I didn't invent it.
Damn. You know what? Some real inventions though, dude. I I'm going to
reveal something about myself. It's pretty personal. I always cover the
toilet seat even at home. Like just put it to, I don't like cold toilets.
Really? Yeah. I always put it in. He did toilet seats. Now I should probably
get one. Yeah. And then like, I just like clean, you know, it's like a
little like obsessive, but they should have a sock that goes over the toilet
seat. So it's like nice and warm. I'm calling out my brother right now.
All right. My brother, because me and him share the same bathroom and there's
always hair on the fucking thing. And guess what? I'm clean shaven, Eli.
So there's only one person that has hair. Wait, you should shave everything.
Yeah. I'm clean shaven brother. Really? Yeah.
Oh, everywhere. Everywhere. Arm pits are clean. The only thing that I have
is like the lower legs. Yeah. Just like, is that just how the lady likes it?
I, I, I, I get fucking weirded out when I have hair. Like any, have you ever
seen, like you, you, you, you, you know, when I was like in my early, like
twenties, like I didn't shave and like the bushes, it's just a weird, weird
fucking thing. Like it's like dirty. It smells bad. Like even like, like
literally, if you don't shower for more than 12 hours, your bushes fucking mess.
Yeah. You get more action if you just also makes your dick look bigger.
Yeah. I mean, I don't think there's any help in my situation, but you know, it
just is what it is.
No comment.
So you're not clean shaven. Like you don't shave. You don't shave once
every couple of months. I take it all, take it all down to nothing. I just
don't like the feeling afterwards. Really? Yeah. It feels really
uncomfortable. Yeah, it does bro. So I, I, I shave pretty much like weekly,
like bi-weekly, not bi-weekly, like, like twice a week because like as soon
as I start getting shovel, subtle, I shave again. So it's never like a
problem. Like I'm like, listen, if you're going to ask your girl to shave, you
should shave yourself. Yeah. My girlfriend always complains. She's like,
she's like, I don't like it when you have hair anywhere.
I also shave my chest. Yeah. I, I think it looks weird with hair. And like, I
like, I'm like, I work out, so I have like a decent chest. So I'm like, I want
to show it. I don't want to cover it with hair. I'm also not Italian.
I get a lot of, a lot of chest hair around my neps. It's kind of weird.
Really? Yeah. Especially how it's taken. I get like a cross. Like I get like a
cross, like my Catholic, my Catholicism comes out and like, it just like, it's
like, I have a, I have like a line here and I have a line here. It's like a
fucking cross though. So like Jesus is like, like you could crucify Jesus on my
chest hair.
So what are some other like actual inventions? Actual invention. Okay. So
let's give them away here on the podcast. Click a jar can go. So peanut butter.
Okay. We all eat it, right? Bro. So I got some fucking off the air. All right. I
got some shit we got to talk about about peanut butter. Okay. But peanut butter.
So you know, when like you're, you're getting towards like the end of like
fucking love peanut butter. So you know, when you start getting to like the end
of the peanut butter, you're like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm
like, I'm like, I'm like, like, I'm like, this is getting to the end of the
peanut butter. Like you have to like, kind of like reach your hand in and like
scrape it off the side. So I have this invention called click a jar where it
has like a deodorant thing on the bottom, like, you know how like you can push up
like the deodorant with it, but instead of that, you do it with peanut butter. So
you can actually keep on clicking it up. And then every time that you click it
up, it's going to push the peanut butter up. So you don't have to like reach your
hand in and get your hand all peanut buttery. Like you actually click it up.
And every time that you're clicking it up, it's pushing the peanut butter higher
To like the end the peanut butter is like all at the top so you can just kind of scoop it out like that
Genius and like you can do it where it has like kind of like a rubberized thing
So it kind of pushes everything up, so it's not gonna get any left over. So it's gonna. Are you saying you're gonna invent this?
Yeah, I'm trying to look
Dude, I think that's a great idea
The other thing I started doing is I started keeping the peanut butter jars upside down because I get natural peanut butter where the oil separates
Oh, it's gross. I like Jeff. That's not the best Jeff isn't real
Just delicious just the luscious
hydrogenated oil so
Did the fucking oily peanut also about me about your no no, it's it's the best dude. It's fucking like
Like that no
No, I have to get my peanut butter together. That's gross actually what I've been getting actually is a powdered peanut butter
There's powdered peanut butter. They take all that oil out and then they desiccate it. Yeah, dude. It's fucking fantastic
I didn't even know they had because it's a quarter of the calories of regular peanut butter. It still tastes like peanut butter
Yeah, they just put like a little like cane sugar in it just to make it like palatable
No, and then you just reconstitute it with water and mix it up
No shit, you can eat four times as much because there's one quarter the calories really
Yeah, I mean regular peanut butter like in two tablespoons. There's 200 calories
So like when I'm doing like my my workout like like actually like doing that shit
I make a thing of rice
I crack an egg into it and I fucking mix that shit together
And if you have hot hot hot rice and you crack an egg into it cooks the cooks the cooks the egg
And you can eat that you do that
You're not gonna be hungry for like the rest of the day and it's got great protein great macros. It's fucking fantastic right there Rocky
Yeah, we got a song for that
What about just shorter jars of peanut butter that's fucking stupid cuz if you get less peanut butter
Then you just buy two fuck that
Yeah, I'm getting everything out of my peanut butter. Okay, all right. I'll tell you my idea
off the air and then
It's not like groundbreaking, but I think it'd be funny your idea. Yeah
About peanut butter. Yeah
So you want me to follow yeah, go ahead pause it it's not like groundbreaking or anything, but okay
Welcome back to untitled podcast you ever see Chris Evans penis
Oh, yeah, brother last time you asked for a sequel and this time we're giving you a sequel
Do we really want to do this right now or later? I like it. I like tail-ending this shit with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
The sequel fuck it
All right, so this week on schizophrenic movie reviews back to the future part two
so
We resume where we left off Marty just got back from 1955. He's with Jennifer
Then Doc Brown crackhead fucking comes back and he's just like
He's just like what's going on doc? He's like
We need to go into the future your kids your kids Marty. They're fucked. He's like, what do you mean?
It's like whoa man, he goes he goes let me put some garbage in the DeLorean and we can go into the future
He's like what's going on? He's like, it's mr. Fusion Marty
So then if I could put garbage into the goddamn DeLorean and it's like, okay now the flux capacitor works. So
then
Boom boom boom goes into the future. Oh, no, there's cars coming at you from the other way
Jennifer's there looks kind of the same but not as hot as hot. Yeah
So then they're like, okay, and then fucking Marty's like what's going on?
He's like all the cars fly in the future Marty and then they fucking it's like raining or some shit and they fucking park the
DeLorean like they put it down and he's just like look at the newspaper Marty and then he's just like what's going on?
It says Marty McFly jr. Arrested for fucking rape or some shit. I didn't know I he's like wow, man
This is heavy doc
So then he's a site Marty we really have to do something about this and then fucking Jennifer's just like oh
No, what are we doing then fucking doc just knocks her the fuck out or something?
Yeah, like fucking pills and then leaves are next to the dumpster covered in newspapers
He's like, hold on a second Marty and he rips off his fucking face
You like rips off his fucking face he's like I got de-aging and they're like what man like you look exactly the same
So then Marty
Gets these sick-ass kicks the air mags fucking from 2020 that 2015 and they're so he's just like
Rock and roll these self-laced bro
He's like you look just like your son
You gotta go in there and tell Biff from the future that you're not in no matter what you do
You're not in you gotta say that you're not so I'm gonna knock out your fucking son and you're gonna go in there this place
I actually had the back to the future to hat. I should have brought it
So he gets like this fucking sick-ass like holographic hat and he gets a jacket that like can like form fit to you
And he gets the air mags and the air mags are fucking sick, but they're like fucking
$10,000 for a single pair and they actually self lace
I really wanted the air mags, but that's probably one of the first things I saw is no that's the jacket, right?
This is that what? Oh, yeah size size. Yeah dry drying. Yeah
Yeah, so then like it rains and he's just like hold on in 3.5 seconds gonna stop raining
He's like, what are you talking about man? He goes a future
So then like he's like, alright and he's going by and he's just like wait a minute this
the sports almanac from
1950 to fucking
2000 I gotta pick that up and he's like no you fuck up the past Marty and he's just like I'm gonna buy it anyways
so then they go to the the
Diner he's like in like Michael Jackson comes up on the TV with fucking Ronald Reagan. He's like, hey
Welcome to the diner. We're gonna have you seated and then Ronald Reagan comes in
I'm here. I'm gonna take a seat at the diner, bro
And he's just like, okay
And then he's like could I get a Pepsi and the Pepsi comes out from a fucking table and it's like in a weird bottle
He's like whoa the future and then like these kids are playing wild gunman over at the fucking thing
And like these kids are fucking sucking at it. He goes well, man, I played this back in the 80s
So he went over went pew pew pew pew and he got all of them and the kids like whoa
And he's just like hey, that's a gun kid and he fucking puts the gun back. So he's like, alright
What's going on now?
So he sits down at the fucking table and he gets like pancakes or some shit and then future Biff
What the fuck is future Biff's name?
It's something like like Jif or Griff or something. Yeah, Griff. Yeah, it's good. So then like Griff comes in
Griff played by flea no, no, no, no, that's one of his buddies and then Griff Griff is played by Biff
It's the same guy
He's like, hey McFly are you gonna be in tonight or out? He's like, hey man, I'm out. He just goes McFly
I told you you gotta be in. He's just like nah, man
I'm out. He just goes he like stands up and then Griff stands up and he just like gets like boosts like his legs
Have like a like an extra inch of boost like you hear like
And he just fucking gets like an extra inch of height and he's like, oh, that's not good
Somebody goes over it's literally basically the same exact movie just in the future
So he fucking goes out and he's like, oh man, I gotta run I gotta run these guys are crazy
He's got an extendo bat. He's like I'm gonna get you McFly
I'm gonna fucking get you and there's old Biff there too and old Biff's like
Wait a minute. This sounds familiar
Like he's like in he goes through he's like, all right, he gets on this fucking he does the same fucking thing
There's a kid with a hoverboard. That's a scooter. He rips off the fucking scooter part. He's fucking hoverboard and and then like
Griff comes out with a fucking mad dog hoverboard. It's like the fucking top of the line hoverboard
He's like fucking Marty's going out in the lake. He's like, well, man, I can't I can't go over the lake man
It's fucking weird. He goes
McFly if you want to go over the lake you need power
Don't you know hoverboards don't work on water?
Unless you got power
That was like super racist
Yeah
McFly don't you know hoverboards don't work on water
Unless you have power
So he's a Mexican?
No he's an Asian guy
He's on the water
He's fucking doing that shit
And he's just like whoa bro
And then like he's like, okay, and he gets over it and fucking Griff is fucking holding the baseball bat
He's like I'm gonna get you McFly
I'm gonna get you
Batters up
He fucking crashes into another manure truck
He's like I hate manure
No he crashes into the bank right?
The bank that they were supposed to hit and then Marty looks at the paper
He's like whoa man the paper's changing
So he looks at the paper and the paper's like gang of jeans like arrested for crashing in the bank or some shit
And he's like whoa that's crazy and then he goes back to where Jennifer was and Jennifer's gone
And then like it shows like a flashback to what happened like this fucking hot-ass cop comes up and she is like
Jennifer McFly huh?
I guess we'll take her home
And then they take and she's like 50 years old she looks good for 50
And then like it's a plastic surgery or something like that
Yeah like something weird
And then she brings him back home
And then like she's like sleeping on the couch
And then fucking Doc's like where's Jennifer?
He's like I don't know man I was doing the thing that you told me to
And he's just like oh they took her home
So they go back and it's literally the same exact house that his parents live in just in the future
And he's like alright I guess I gotta go back to the to my house to get Jennifer
So he goes to the fucking house
And he's like he's like oh man and then fucking Jennifer gets home
And when Jennifer gets home she's like Marty I'm home Marty
Oh I guess he's not home from work yet
So then she goes out and then fucking Jennifer wakes up
The 1980s Jennifer wakes up and she walks out and she's like
This is the future some shit I don't fucking know this is like the future
And she sees her future self she's like
And they both faint
And they both say right they're like I'm old I'm young
Yeah I'm old I'm young
And they both faint and then fucking he's just like okay
And then Marty breaks into his own house
But when he breaks into his own house he takes Jennifer's unconscious body
And throws it into the DeLorean but he's like oh man I'm stuck here
And then fucking old Marty comes in
And then fucking old Marty is like fucking walking up
And he's just like phone call phone call phone call
And he's just like don't be fly you're McCoy it's me Flea from fucking Red Hot Chili Peppers
And he's just like he's like are we gonna do that deal homie
And he's just like ah man I don't think I can do it
And he just goes oh I didn't know I was playing with a coward
And he goes nobody calls me chicken no it's chicken
He's like what are you chicken McFly
He goes nobody calls me chicken
And suddenly he's like alright I'm sending my deets over
So he sends his details over and then it goes over
And then he gets a phone call from his boss
Mr. McFly you think that we don't know that you're trying to steal us stuff
He's just like oh boss I'm not he goes no no no no no I'm going to fire you
He goes no please no I don't want to get fired man
He's just like oh McFly you'll fire
And he gets the fucking fax and just kept on saying you're fired you're fired you're fired you're fired
He's like oh man oh man
And then Marty's kids are there and his little retard Marty McFly Jr. has the one arm that's still extended
He goes okay and he goes in and checks the TV's
He's just like next channel next channel next channel
He just puts 20 channels on it once
One's like porn one's like a fucking landscape thing like one's like it's like fucking he's like okay
Channel 32 channel 87 channel 36
He's got his oculus heads up
And then like his Marty McFly's parents come in and his dad's hanging upside down
He's like my back got thrown out again
And then his fucking his mom who's still super hot fucking comes in
She's like oh your dad fell down the stairs again he's like oh man she goes Marty you look upset
What's going on he's like oh it's nothing man like don't worry about it
So then like I forget what happens after that I think he I think they escape somehow
And then like they go and they have to go back in time
And then when they go back in time they he leaves the almanac on the ground
And then oh no Biff steals the DeLorean yeah
Biff steals the DeLorean
And he goes back in time and he gives young Biff the thing he's just like hey listen
I'm your uncle from like a far off place
He's like who are you talking to broad head
He's like listen I'm gonna show you something
And you're gonna have to do this and make sure nobody else sees this
And he's just like alright old man
That's exactly the look dude
But you just did
He's like okay old man
And he goes you listen to me listen he takes his fucking cane with the fist on it
He starts balking him on the head
He's like he's like he's like place these bets on these days and you'll be a billionaire
And he's just like oh B
So then he goes back and he's just like oh and he gets out of DeLorean and like he crashes the DeLorean
He turns on the radio and then he proves to him
Yeah yeah yeah he's like he's like alright what's today's date
He goes fucking April 17th and he just goes
Oh no it's like September 17th
And he goes alright and he turns on the game
And it's like a game that was like a super close game
And he goes right now in the fourth quarter they're gonna get a fucking touchdown
They're gonna win the game
He goes oh really they're gonna get a touchdown
And he just goes wait
Sorry the game's over
Yeah the game's already over man
He goes wait
And then he's like oh and he's going down to 30
And then he's like 20
Touchdown
He's just like what are you talking about old man
He's like do these dates and you'll fucking do it
And he's like okay
So then fucking Marty McFly and Doc go back
And then like they go back
And like it looks like a fucking hellscape
There's like fire like homeless people with fires and shit
And like he's like whoa man what happened
Doc's like Skid Row
And Doc's like what happened Marty what did you do
And he's like I ain't doing anything Doc
And he just goes the almanac
What happened with the almanac
He goes I just thought I'd place a couple bets you know
He's just like oh this is bad Marty
This is real bad
And then he just goes he goes to the Biff Casino
And the Biff Casino no no he goes back to his house
And his house is like owned by like an African American family
And they're like get out of my house
Who you doing in my house under my nana
Yeah you talking about fuck my nana I'm fucking you
No man no it's cool it's cool
I'm not into black chicks I'm sorry
So then he fucking goes back
And he's just like Doc what's going on
He goes Biff took over the future
He's like what do you mean Biff took over the future
And he's just like he must have got the almanac
And he goes to his fucking casino shit
And his casino is like fucking like
Fucking Donald Trump level shit
There's like Biff's face on everything
He's smoking a big ass cigar
And he's like fuck man
And then he looks over and there's a video screen that gives the history of Biff
And he's like Biff is the luckiest man alive
At 18 years old he placed a bet on this and then he just kept winning
It's like the feds would definitely catch on to something like that
They're like this is some insider betting or some shit
But then he's just like whoa
So he goes to like the floor and like
They're like I thought she was in like some like private school
And he goes I guess I got thrown out
He goes you fucking idiot get upstairs
So he gets upstairs
And his mom's there
And his mom has like faked hits now
And she looks fucking hot and shit
And then she's like Marty
Marty why do you keep getting in trouble
He's like mom mom what happened to dad
He goes your dad's been dead for fucking 10 years
He goes what do you mean
And he goes
Next he goes he goes where's dad
Where's dad he goes the same place he's been the last 10 years
Rolling Hill Cemetery or some shit
And he's like what
And then fucking Biff comes in
He goes you get thrown out of another school
You fucking piece of shit
And he's just like whoa
And then he's just like Biff you're a scumbag
And he's like don't you talk to me like that
And then his fucking mom comes up
And she's like you don't need to talk to Marty like that
Because I own you
Because I gave you everything
I gave you your money
Your cars
Your body
And he's just like well
I never wanted these
And she fucking like rubs her tits
Perfect
He's like oh okay
If you leave
I'm gonna cancel fucking your daughter's credit cards
He's gonna go back to jail
Marty's gonna be a piece of shit
Like he always is
Which he kind of is
He is
So he's like I gotta
There's no way my dad's dead he goes to the grave
And just says George McFly dead
Yeah first wait hold on
Isn't there a part where he's like
Yeah so this guy told me that some crazy eyed kid
Like you would come back looking for
No that was a little bit later I think
Okay
So then he talks to him
Fucking Doc
Cookie
Hold on a second
You're fucking trying to eat while you do this
Jesus Christ
You asshole
Marty
But um
Oh he goes back to Doc
And he's like you gotta get the almanac from him
And he goes
And he goes back to the fucking penthouse thing
And he's just like
Three words
Something sport almanac
And then he's
Then fucking Biff goes
His eyes get all wide he's just like
Hmm
Some old man said some kid
Is gonna wild eyed kid's gonna come
Talking about this
And he said
Goes into his fucking safe pulls out a fucking revolver
And he goes
He said to kill ya
And he goes
Whoa
He like runs away
And Biff's chasing after him
I'm gonna rape you kid or some shit
It's never gonna work they're gonna call the police man
I own the police
Marty
Who do you think owns the police
She McFly's with the same
Gun
And then he jumps and he's like
He's like poetic irony
What the fuck
No no it's poetic justice
Two McFly's with the same gun
He goes I think you mean poetic irony
He goes whatever
Fucking jumps
And he jumps and he's just like
Well you got two options
Either shoot you with this gun
Or you jump
And he goes either way I win
Okay and he jumps off
And Biff's like whoa I didn't think that would work
And then he jumps up
And he looks
He's like walking all like that
He holds the gun like all weird
He's like
I never thought he would do it
He walks over and the fucking DeLorean door
Hits him in the face like
I gotta go back in time
So they go back to 1950's
And then
It's like the same fucking thing
He follows Biff instead of his dad
So then he follows Biff
And Biff is like doing like his weird shit
And then he's like
Then he sees like the whole like exchange between
Old Biff and young Biff
And he's just like oh man I gotta steal that
Almanac so he jumps into his car's
Trunk
And when he gets to the car's trunk
Then fucking Biff goes
Lorraine and he fucking like starts his engine
And fucking drives away
Oh man I'm in the guy's trunk
What are you gonna do man
He's wearing like a trench coat and like a fucking fedora
He's like walkie talkie
He's like Morty
He goes don't interact with yourself
And he goes why he goes I don't make a time paradox
And neither
You just like explore some shit
He's like what the fuck does that mean
We're already making a bunch of time paradoxes
So then he's like
He gets into the fucking car
And they're driving and he's like
Alright we gotta go to the dance
So he gets the Almanac from him in the dance
No no no no no no no no
Because Biff was like drinking or something
And he had the Almanac in his coat
And then fucking Strickland
Comes out and he's like you're drinking again
And he's like what are you gonna do
Oh man he's like I'm confiscating your jacket
He's like whoa whoa whoa whoa man what are you gonna do
He's like you're a slacker
And then he's like whoa man
So he gets that
So Morty has to go through the whole fucking dance shit
While all the shit that he's trying to
Fuck his mom and shit that
All that shit's going on
And he's like fuck man so you gotta go and get the fucking
Almanac so he gets the Almanac from the
Fucking thing he gets like porno mags
And shit out of like ooh la la's
Ooh la la's yeah
He's like what the fuck is this shit
And he looks at it and he's like oh it's the Almanac
Cool
No ooh la la's like the
Cover of it was on like
Was it the Almanac that had that or was it
The no so he put the
Strickland took the Almanac yeah
And then he put the jacket
The sleeve yeah onto
The ooh la la's and so it looked like that's
What he was reading yeah yeah yeah
So he's like alright whatever
Dude if I was in the 1950's
And someone had a sports Almanac from 1950
To 2000 I'd be like
What the fuck is this shit
But he took it like without
Even acknowledging it he's just like whatever
Fuck it like he can read that
I guess I'd be like give me that that's free money
But then like he uh he goes
And he gets the Almanac he's like yes
I got the Almanac and he's like oh fuck
I gotta get back in time again
But then like Biff is going
To fight Marty
But Marty he's fighting the
Marty that is trying to play the guitar
During Johnny B Good he's
Not trying to fight the Marty that actually took
The Almanac because there's so much
There's so much shit going on
Like this is getting like so convoluted
In shit and his fucking gang
Of like the 3D glasses guy
He's like yo I'm wearing 3D glasses
I'm a fucking cool guy I'm gonna
Fuck Lorraine
Which let's be honest
Guys we don't want to fuck Lorraine she's really
Fucking hot man and then
Like he uh he goes back
Yeah yeah
Um
Ah fuck
Dude it's so like confusing to
Think about like what's going on
Like I have to just like watch the movie
I can't believe he can remember this far
So he's like
Fuck man fuck
So then he has to fight
He has to fight the
Guys again
But he like he like during Johnny B Good
They're like alright when he gets off stage
We're gonna punch him in his face a bunch of times
Alright and he's just like nah man
Nah
I'm gonna drop weights on you that are like
A hundred pounds the stage weights are super
Heavy he just drops them on their head
He's just like yeah that'll work
Nobody notices yeah nobody notices
And then like
He goes down the stairs
And then like he sees his parents and his
Parents are like
And then he comes out the stairs again like the
Like the one from the first movie comes out the
Stairs and like his parents are like what the fuck
Is going on
And like he's like alright
I gotta go I gotta go so he goes
And like he goes back in time
And then like he's like alright that's done
And then like he goes back to like the
1980s
And then no no no this is when
They had to get the lightning
To hit the uh to hit the
Thing because Mr. Fusing didn't work in the past
For some reason so then like he had like
He had to go back and like it was pouring
Rain and Doc
Was um like in the
Uh Doc was in the rain
And he was like in the flying DeLorean
Back in the past they didn't have the plutonium
Yeah something like that yeah
Yeah they couldn't get it so he had to catch the bolt of lightning
Yeah he had to catch the bolt of lightning so he was like
Flying to DeLorean he's like alright we're gonna get back
Your time he's like alright and then like
He's fucking there and then fucking
Boom the fucking
DeLorean goes he's just like what the
Fuck am I gonna do now
And some mailman comes up he's just like
Oh I'll be damned
He's like who are you
He just goes I got a message from you
But we had a bet going to see if
You'd actually be here and he said there's somebody
With your exact description
But 1885
Is where this would be he's like
Oh it's gotta be Doc
So he opens it up and it's got like
I'm uh he's like I'm back
In 1885
And he's like the DeLorean is
Is hidden away in like a fucking mining
Shaft or something he's just like
Well I gotta go back and then it's just like
To be continued again I'm like
What the fuck man
Dude that was a good job
Incredible
I don't know the second one as good as I know the first one
But let's see if we can find
Ah
I typed in
Leotachian from back to the future 2 and it just did that
God bless are those prosthetics
Like I think those like her actual
Tits she actually you know she's actually
Been in nude scenes before
By the way damn
I have to look those up
Don't look them up again
Is she still alive
Unless I checked she was still pretty like
Okay looking yeah she's old now
Let's see
Lea Thompson
Today
Not the transgender swimmer
Is that the same name
It is actually holy shit yeah
Yeah but see look at that shit
Damn brother
Damn dude
Damn dude she's fucking gorgeous
Estrogen is a hell of a thing
It's one of the most powerful
Forces of the universe
God bless
God fucking
Wish the viewers at home could see
I gotta stop looking at them
I might be fucking pitched
At tent man
So actually you wanna
You wanna do the
Who are some of the hottest celebrities
Out there
I think that'd be a fun thing to talk about
Who would be your pick Casey
Oh I already know
I've had a
Since I was a kid I had a crush on Olivia Wilde
Yeah? Oh the fucking chick from House?
Yeah
Let me see what this broad looks like
Famous women that's actually a tough one
Really?
Damn she's not bad
I don't know
I'm trying to fucking think
There's a lot of them
I'm trying to think of the best one
Fuck
Probably for you some lesbian
Shut up
Woman that looks like a little boy
Shut up
Taylor Swift
She's an Aryan goddess
I like
Penny from the Big Bang Theory
Yeah she fucking
Cut her hair
That was it for me
That was the end
I got a
Thing for like Jewish women too
They look nice
The chick from Seinfeld
She's really good looking
Julie Louis Dracus
Yeah she's good looking
I also like
Does Ben Shapiro's
Sister count as a famous person?
No
She's like a class E celebrity
But she's still really hot
Like a trad wife type shit
Damn dude
Fuck
There's a couple
I'm trying to fucking think
There's a lot of them
Leah Thompson's up there
The transgender swimmer
The real Leah Thompson
Fuck
I'm trying to think of the one that like
I was like super
Don't go around saying that though
That you should think Leah Thompson's
Yeah
Ah
Fuck
What's the fucking
Goddamn boy
What about you?
Bella Thorne's really hot
I said Taylor Swift
Bella Thorne's pretty hot but she like went off the deep end
Like Bella Thorne
I don't know who that is
Let me look her up
She like
It's like the chick from Red Hair
From like Shake It Up back in the day
She was pretty good looking
But you know
Not bad
Not too shabby
Sinead O'Connor is a joke
One that I'm throwing in there
Ronia Trump
Really?
No
Billie Eilish now that she's like 20
She's pretty good looking
Oh my god I can't stand you
I can't stand him
Dude I'm 24 dude it's not that big of a deal
It's not a big deal at all
She's 20 dude
Yeah nothing wrong with that
Strange
You want to say
Male celebrities if you were a gay
Man that you would
That you'd go for
Who's the one from
From Limitless
Bradley Cooper
Bradley Cooper really
I'd suck him dry
I'm more Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake
I think I'd go for
Dwayne The Rock Johnson
Dude he's all right
You guys are fucking gay
He is right up
I'd go for Bradley Cooper
Machine Gun Kelly
I feel like he's a good looking guy
That looks kind of like a girl
Yeah
A little bit
Megan Fox used to be good looking
I don't know what the fuck
We're still talking about dudes bro
My gator is going off
Bradley Cooper
Fucking Shania Twain
Well now we're just getting like
Are we sticking with guys or girls here
We're doing both
Bradley Cooper
Bradley Cooper man
So
You had some other topics you want to talk about
Right?
I actually got to go to bed early
I got a fucking day shift tomorrow
What time do you got to work?
It's like 8
I should probably get started earlier tomorrow too
From my mental health
We should just talk about the
Healthcare because we promised people
We're going to talk about that real quick
Definitely
So healthcare, free universal
Healthcare I think is a
Basic human right
In a civilized society
Do you think it's your
Other people have a right to
Your services? Oh you know what I heard about this
The other day? What?
Somebody said in other
Countries
I forget, I think it was like back in
Back hundreds of years ago
Baghdad
I think they're talking about like the 1700s
Or whatever, you used to pay the doctor
But they
Paid the doctor when they're
Healthy and they don't have to pay
For their services
The fuck are you talking about?
You only pay for healthcare when
You're healthy, you pay the doctor to keep you
Healthy so you don't have to pay when you're sick
They used to do that
That sounds absolutely retarded
I think it's a good idea
Well I mean it's their job to keep you
Healthy. Yeah so you pay when you're healthy
And you don't have to pay
When you have
Medical care
Oh man
I think that universal healthcare
Is a good idea in theory
But I think in practice it wouldn't be able to be
Fucking done because you know how many
People abuse the fucking medical system
You know how many people fucking
Just go to the hospital because they got a
Stubbed toe or whatever
So what? They're already being paid
For by universal healthcare
But then they also still fill up the hospitals for
People who actually fucking need it
That's going to happen whether you have it or not
Because it's already happening
But then they're also doing it for fucking free
They're already doing it
For free
But I don't want to fucking have to pay for those motherfuckers
You already are
It's called Medicare tax
Social security tax
I don't know that there's a good solution
To all this
But something has to be done because
There's no way that
That it can go on the way
It's going on right now
The medicine system is broken
Like beyond repair
But
I don't know a better way to do it
I mean how do you pay
Nurses like $150 an hour
You know
Like during times where they can't get people
How do you sustain that?
You can't
You're saying what the universal healthcare?
Well right now
But more people
More people
More people would go to the hospital
If it was universal healthcare
And that's another big thing that I have against it
Because more people would go to the hospital if there was free healthcare
For everybody
And the hospitals are already filled to capacity as it is
Type shit
So like it would be more
More people on top of
The people that were already there
The EMS system has basically nobody
In it, the hospital systems have basically
Nobody in it like
Nobody wants to be a fucking EMT, paramedic
Nurse, doctor
Because it's fucking hard
Why would you want to do that?
Unless you're a masochist like us
You know how fucked the healthcare system is
Yeah I do
What if the healthcare system just paid you
To stay out of the hospital?
I feel like that
They gave you like a small stipend
Just to not go to the hospital
I don't know man
There's no good way to go about it
See the problem is that all the healthy people
Don't end up
Needing health insurance
But then all the really sick people who didn't take care of themselves
End up using it all up
Well that's what it's like with universal healthcare
It's like you're paying
When you're healthy, whether you're healthy or not
And then when you get
Treatment you don't have to pay for it
You know what? I think something that would be a good system
Is a tiered
Not necessarily a tiered system
But like everybody pays in
But if you can prove that
You're doing things to take care of your health
You get a return
So some of that money gets returned back to you
Because you're not going to be one of the people using it
So what if you
What if you have kind of like a thing where
If you have the
The one where you pay your normal taxes
But then if you pay more like in health insurance
You get like skipped to the front
Of the line like your appointments get in first
Like you're at the hospital
Like if you have like
Medicare like bronze, Medicare silver
And Medicare gold or platinum
And then like if you have Medicare platinum
You fucking pay an extra like you know
100 bucks a month and you get
Fucking like skipped to the front of the line
Whenever shit's happening
Yeah I mean is the system
We have now like is it that bad?
Yes
Is there insurance like if you're insured through a private employer?
But the thing is
The reason why
Healthcare is so expensive is because we have
Insurance because the insurance and the health care
System will fight each other until they're like
Okay we're going to knock this price down
We're going to knock this price down
But we're staying on this price and the insurance
Company will argue back and forth with them
So basically they're overcharging
You by fucking like 100%
Some of the time 200% some of the times
And they're just going to wait for the
Insurance like company to argue
Against it and that's why basically
Insurance companies are thing is because
We have such like they're price
Gouging medical treatments
Yeah I think
It costs like 60 bucks for a nasal
Cannula yeah they charge you like
300 bucks yeah dude that's
Literally like a dollar
And a half to make oh yeah absolutely
Wow dude if we made
Medical supplies we'd make so much more money
Like if you put a nasal cannula on someone
It costs like 200 dollars more
Yeah it does
What the heck yeah if you put a nasal cannula
On somebody every technically sterile
And every time every single
Time that you take vitals on somebody you charge them a hundred
Dollars really yep that's
Why they want you to take vitals so often every five
Minutes yeah but they're like yeah
The reason why we have to do it every
Five minutes because we charge a hundred dollars every
Single time that we take vitals on somebody
No shit yeah
Wow yeah dude
See the problem is is like
Two
You have corporations
Trying to make money and then people that
Want to have health care and there's
Like it's conflicting yeah that's
The two that's the problem
Absolutely people deserve to make
Money you know
Doing God's work
Doing the Lord's work
I don't know what the solution is to that
Kill everybody
Free public universal health care
That's probably one of the better solutions I've heard
Murder
Everybody
And then it'll be
That that'll be that
That'll be that I thought for a second because the mic
Is blocking it your shirt said decaf
I'm like bro are you sick
It says decay
Yeah it says decay
It's the Mike Hemanco romance tour
Tour hoodie
So do you think Arnold
Schwarzenegger was natty
No he wasn't natty dude
No he died
Dude he literally Arnold
Schwarzenegger's skull
Grew so much from taking steroids that he got a gap
In his teeth
He didn't have that until he started
Doing steroids
And he had his heart because your heart is
A muscle his heart got so enlarged
From doing steroids that it was
So enlarged by the time he was like
60 they had to cut a section of
His left ventricle out
And sew his heart back together to make a normal sized heart
That's insane
There was nothing fucking natty about him
I mean and that's the crazy
Thing to me is that you had somebody
That was doing illegal drugs
Yet he's the governor of California
He also was fucking his
His maids
I mean but dude wouldn't you like
If you had like you were in a position of power
Like that and the level of temptation
It's like you do whatever the fuck you want
Bill Clinton did it
Bill Clinton is a fucking pedophile
He went to Epstein's Island
Fucking Bill Clinton
What if he just got a foot massage though
No
He got a happy ending if you know what I'm saying
How do you know?
Alex Jones?
Nah bro
You ever
You know those like Asian massage parlors
That are definitely not brothels
I know all about them yeah
You know all about them
No I don't
I'm just joking
But there's like an actual
Like underground thing of like
Asian brothels or Asian massage parlors
That are basically just fucking brothels
Like they're like $200 for a massage
What massage is $200
Oh you want a massage
Yeah
They're like full body massage
In depth massage
Fucking
Deep tissue massage
Shit like that
And each one's like a code for sex
DVT
They got DVT
They got EBD
They got SEX
They got fucking DIK
EVT
EVT cards
Food stamp cards
These women are doing a service though
Alright I'm pulling the plug on this episode
Why?
Because I'm gonna go to bed
Oh man
I'm not off the rails
I have this idea
That we you know how in
PokerStars VR you put the bag on your head
With the cutouts
I say we
Do that on the podcast
When you're in a time out
We put a bag over your head
Why would you put a bag over my head?
When you get off the rails
You're off the rails
I'm in a good spot
Tyler time out time
Nah man I'm good
I'm gonna cut out holes
In the bag for you next episode
No you're not
Nah
In Grand Theft Auto if you get punished they put a dunce cap on you
Yeah they did
You get one of those
Bro I hate Cuomo
I hate that he made us not be able to use plastic bags
Plastic bags were so much better
Me too bro I fucking hate
These fucking paper bags
Dude these fucking paper bags they can't hold shit
There's no way to grip them correctly
You know how I feel about plastic
Like you know like the old plastic bags where you could like grab like a fucking
100 of them in like one arm and a hundred of them in the other arm
And you're like no second trips
Dude why didn't they just do a plastic bag deposit
So it's like
You just pay a deposit on the plastic bags
And then you return them
That's what they do with shopping carts at LD
Yeah and you get money back
It's like oh you brought back one two three four
Ten plastic bags you have a credit now
Yeah but like the thing is
I used to keep those bags
I never threw those bags out there
Fucking useful like you would like fucking use them for like you know
Like you can make a backpack out of plastic bags
If you could do like a bunch of shit
You know my guy
You know
Like plastic bags were fucking shit
And I fucking hate New York State for getting rid of them
It's fucking communism bro
Get used to it
You could kill somebody with them you know you could do anything with them
Fucking communism
Communism is the fucking worst thing on the planet
Oh fuck you
Communism is the worst thing on the planet
Communism
I'm not going on the rails
You want to see all the rails
This is all the rails
People suck dick for coke in this fucking wall
We got six seconds left until
Two hours
That will even it out
Who knows who sucks to presidents dick
Mike Helowinski caused 9-11
That exit music
What's the exit music
It don't fucking know
Anyways
Add it in after
We'll start playing it right about now
Anyways
Be kind to you
We know robots have souls
We just don't know if they do or don't
How do you know
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet
Fuck no
No
No we are jumping down this fucking
Rabbit hole
Yes we are
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts
Extended episode
Where the fuck did the pyramids come from
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts
They're killing
They're killing all the already born babies
And selling them to the Chinese
Aliens exist as you see
Somewhere in China
In some base
There are super soldiers that are at least
9 or 10 feet tall
Okay
Did they come from our planet
Then they are extraterrestrials
They are aliens
I do not negotiate with pyramids
Noooooo
Noooo
Before my eyes while holding their pulse
Feel them die of this
Virus
You feel bump bump bump peep
fucking gone. I've seen it happen. I think that the government has taken it to the next
level with the birds. They know what birds are going to cross paths with you that you
are going to be able to raise and they are going to make them so fucking real. They're
going to sink money into them because they know that if you put that motherfucker in a
cage they're going to be able to convince you that thing is fucking real. You can cut
it open, you're going to see blood guts, no circuitry, but let me tell you their technology
is absolutely vile. Which by the way big brother is the overlord kid. We're only living in
the moment. George Soros is an actual Nazi collaborator. I'm not fucking lying, it's
fucking real. Look it up. Look it up. He says that he was doing this shit. George Soros
actually worked with the fucking Nazis during the Holm. He says that he was doing it just
to survive, but he fucking loved it. He was having a great fucking time doing this shit.
George Soros is the fucking devil. Okay? He's not fucking doing this shit for us. George
Soros is fucking evil. He's the actual fucking ringleader for all this shit. He's fucking
put down a whole bunch of shit. Just don't fucking get it okay. Everybody's like fuck
Donald Trump is the fucking word person out there. Fuck Trump right? Fuck Trump. Fuck
Trump. He's not the actual fucking leader. It's George Soros. It's Bill Gates. It's fucking
Elon Musk. It's everyone out there. Everybody's like fuck Trump. Everybody's like, he's saying
Elon Musk is so cool. He made like a play. The actual government is trying, the actual
true government, which is George Soros and all these fucking Nazis, are actually the
ones that are controlling fucking all of it. The mere politicians are paid off by the fucking
billionaires. The paid fucking swaps by billionaires.