The following program is intended for mature
audiences and may cause cancer in at -risk populations.
Viewer discretion is advised. For all we know,
robots have souls. We just don't know if they
do or don't. How do you know? Have you ever been
a cyborg or a robot? You think we were the first
ones to inhabit this planet? Fuck no. No, we
are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole. Yes,
we are. There's people out there with some really
dumb thoughts. Extended episode. Where the fuck
did this earring come from? Where the fuck did
Stonehenge come from? You're telling me that
they didn't die and become ghosts? They're killing
all the already born babies and sell them to
the Chinese. Aliens exist. Somewhere in China.
some days what the there are super soldiers that
are at least nine or ten feet tall then they
are extraterrestrials they are aliens Producing
ATP in the cells right now. The mitochondria
is the powerhouse of the cell. Just wait for
it. I feel like a nucleus. Randy Walters is a
son of a bitch. Oh, fucking Afro man shit. Welcome
back to a funny podcast. Episode 138. I'll be
with Allie, Mac, and Tyler. I'm back, probably
for... Once in a while. I'm back for like a week,
and then I have a kid, so you might not hear
from me for a while. Did you hear the Afro Man
trial? It was so funny. I really liked Would
You Fix My Door? That's my favorite one. I just
like the one where he's talking about how the
chick, how the female cop is like... Did you
see the one where the officer's on the stand,
and he's like, people have been calling me Officer
Poundcake for three years. If I go to Pennsylvania
and people call me Officer Poundcake, I've received...
5 ,000 pound cakes sent to my office. I'd be
like, thank you. I love pound cakes. I love how
the one guy was talking about, he's like, yeah,
he claims he fucked my wife. And he's like, well,
did he? I don't know. You tell me. I don't know.
That's your defense? You're saying, like, if
your defense is that it absolutely didn't happen
and you're calling a defamation trial, you can't
ask the question. Did he fuck my wife? He seems,
like, angry about it. Like, he's actually considering
the fact that maybe you did fuck my wife no he's
mad at his wife maybe she fucking did fuck him
that cheating whore and then the guy's son comes
out on the stand and he's like yeah they've been
bullying me about my dad for like the last three
years Hey, yo, this episode is sponsored by Night
Moves NY. Go to Night Moves. You get a lap dance.
It's pretty great. Not for free or anything.
Not for free. You're just going to have to pay
full price. They don't even know who we are.
We don't have a promo code or anything. It's
normal business. Just normal business. But Night
Moves New York, go. If anything, don't even tell
them we suggested it to you. But his son was
on the stand and it just shows like a text, Officer
Poundcake Jr. I just love it where the one female
cop's like crying. Crying, I understand. They
play the song in its entirety and the camera
just slowly pans over to Afro Man. And he's like
just barely vibing out. No, he's doing this.
He's going. He's just barely nodding his head
to it. Then they play all the fucking Facebook
reels that still, like, have his, like, at added
and everything. It's like the dude's just getting,
like, this is the best publicity you could humanly
ask for. Well, they said they were, like, looking
for, like, drugs and kidnap victims. And Afro
Man's like, what? I didn't kidnap anyone. Are
there kidnap victims in my pockets? Are there
kidnap victims in my wallet? Did they just make
up those charges? I don't even understand. I
don't know. I think it was like an anonymous
tip type thing and they just wanted to raid a
black guy's house because they're racist. He
was dripped the fuck out. In the American flag
suit? And the American flag glasses. He's wearing
that in this one. Yeah. He wore it for the trial
where they had all the... It makes it even more
funny. It's like an 80s synth -sounding song.
It makes it even more funny. The music video
is just a bad, grainy picture of him three times,
and he's just dancing. It does sound like bacteria
music, though. I kind of just rolled with what
you said. What the fuck is bacteria music? Bacteria
music is exactly what it sounds like. It's bacteria
music, dude. It sounds like music that bacteria
would listen to. Okay. Oh, gotcha. i don't know
what that means what's the fucking movie can
you can you can you look up the song uh bloopin
um just look up the song bloopin and that's a
pretty good uh explanation bloopin is kind of
more sore mute like sewer like like oh i hear
you This is like if I cooked up a trash EDM beat.
Yeah. This is the shit that plays in my head
if I smoke way too much weed. Yeah, dude. This
is bloopin', dude. Bloopin's one of my favorite
songs. This sounds like you're in a sewer. Wait,
what's that fucking Disney movie about the guy
who goes into... He's like a fucking white blood
cell or something. That's not Disney. It's Eddie
Murphy, I think. And it's Osmosis Jones. Yeah,
Osmosis Jones. This is fucking Osmosis. jones
fucking beat right there he's like hanging out
with the fucking tylenol molecule the whole fucking
time was it eddie murphy it was eddie murphy
or someone else um it was it was some black guy
i know that i gotta say I hate to cut you off.
I just wanted to say one thing and then I'll
drop it. Osmosis Jones is probably one of the
coolest kid movies I've ever seen. Like, you
see what could be the plague introduced to a
human being. Like, you think it's like this low
stakes, happy -go -lucky kid movie. And you're
like, holy shit, dude. If this fucking villain
gets what he wants, he's going to start the extinction
of the human race. Like, this is kind of fucking
wild. And then the fucking pill's like, not on
my watch, fucker. Fucking Bill Murray. He's like,
what, like a zookeeper or something? I can't
even. remember what he's fucking he's like disgusting
yeah he's just he's already gross and then he
gets sick and it's 10 times worse just smells
like shit sweating all the time massive bags
under his eyes kids like dad are you gonna stop
being a scumbag for once in your life i'll try
no promises There's this kid in my biology class.
Every time the teacher said osmosis, he would
just go. He was like autistic or something. He'd
go, osmosis Jones. The teacher would go, shut
the fuck up. He was like three years older than
me and still in my... He was like a senior in
ninth grade biology or something. Wow, you want
me to fucking laugh just because you've got a
mental deficiency? Is that the punchline, Casey?
He was actually retarded. He was just like an
asshole. Well, we call those people intellectually
disabled, not MR, okay? Jesus. I was in the fucking
working healthcare for Christ's sake. There wasn't
actually any MR going on there. I'll get off
my moral high ground. I was in a fucking... He
was just an obnoxious clown. So instead of taking
physics, they said I was too stupid to take physics.
So I took animal science instead, and animal
science was fucking awful. Because the first
half was astronomy, and that was... was awesome
and then they and then like you know how like
the classes that have like the one the first
half is one class and the second half of like
the year is another class i didn't have any of
those but i that sounds fairly self -explanatory
so i had like the first half of the year was
astronomy i'm like this is fucking awesome and
the second half wasn't zoology it was literally
called animal science and i fucking hated it
dude they're like the uh wolf pack here uh in
the alpine regions of fucking whatever country
and i'm like i want to fucking kill myself but
our school shooter type fucking kid was in um
he was in the class and he was fascinated by
the wolves he was he was fascinated like he'd
like he looked like a fucking like little kid
he'd do like the weird hand thing that they do
like under their chin on the desk while listening
about the fucking wolves and i'm like dude What
is wrong with you? Please, I hope a fucking wolf
fucks me. Ugh! And if it doesn't, I'm going to
shoot the fucking place up. Looking back on it,
the dude was definitely a fucking furry. Looking
back on it. Oh, absolutely. Furries have rights,
too. Furries should not have rights. Any bathroom
break he took during that class, he was fucking
rubbing one out. There was a fucking stain in
that toilet when he left it. So are you an ambidextrous
jerker, or are you a single hand? Okay, you know,
was not expecting that question, but I have a
very bizarre... Welcome back, Tyler, to the podcast.
So I'm not ambidextrous. I'm not ambidextrous,
but I... I am left -handed in certain things
and right -handed in certain things. Jerking
off. You're a left -handed jerker? I am a left
jerk. You're a left jerk. The phone is held in
the right hand. You're a left jerker, too? Really?
I mean, in a bind. I can manage. I can swap it
out. It feels like somebody else sometimes. That's
called the stranger. Using your non -dominant
hand. I am an ambidextrous jerker, but I'm a
right -leaning jerker. You're a right -wing jerker.
I'm a right -wing jerker, but I can't go... I'm
a conservative jerker. I'm a conservative jerker.
You see, me and Casey, we're liberal jerkers.
You're a liberal jerker. You're a liberal jerker.
I am a right -wing jerker. I'm a libertarian
jerker. I feel like I'm an independent jerker.
I feel like the people who hump pillows are...
They're anarchist jerkers. They're anarchist
jerkers. What would you call a fleshlight? What
would you call a fleshlight? What would that
be? That would be a totalitarian jerker. A dictatorship.
That is Nazism and jerking forward. Fascist masturbator.
Jesus Christ. That's the name of the episode.
Fascist jerker. How about this question? Is it
gay if you fuck a fleshlight? No. Wait, it's
a mold of your own butthole. Okay. That's weird.
How do you mold your own butthole is my question.
They mold porn stars' buttholes. Yeah, but I
feel like that's just a scam. Everybody's asshole
looks the same. It's just a fucking balloon knob.
I do get the pussy mold being different because
pussies do look different. I mean, there's the
overall pussy look, but each pussy has their
own kind of folds and shit. Did I tell the story
about the gift that kept giving in my college
group? Your right hand. We had a running joke
in my college friend group where whoever's birthday
it was would get the half torso fleshlight. Like
the one that's like... Oh, Jesus. It has like
fake tits on it. But it's about like... Yeah,
but no arms, no head. No arms, no head. And the
thing was you had to... Nobody wanted to keep
it. But throwing it out, you had to throw it
out in a way where the cops wouldn't think you're
throwing away a body. And that was the joke that
kept giving. Because one guy... i did it once
and then everybody's like this is the funniest
fucking thing ever so and everybody on their
birthday got a fucking half torso fucking uh
uh, half torso fleshlight and you had to throw
it out in a certain way or else the cops would
be like, Hey, what the fuck is this? You just
fucking, I feel like you make yourself more of
a criminal. The more you overthink it next thing
you know, you're dumping it in like a New Jersey
swamp. It's a fucking mafia. We've discovered
a corpse called a call the FBI guys. This is
a fucking jerk off toy. Like no work. We're good
here. But like what I did when I got mine, because
I, of course I had to get my one. I got, it and
then i was like all right i'm gonna throw it
into a garbage bag with the rest of the garbage
so it doesn't just look like a torso in the garbage
are you were you like meticulously building like
you have like a base layer and then i put it
i put the torso in and then i put the fucking
thing around but like that is such a funny joke
gift because no one wants it and it's so fucking
big that you can't just like hide it and there's
no good way to get rid of it all right tyler
how many times did you take it for a spin before
you threw it I did not actually take it first.
I did play with the titties though. Like I didn't
like jerk off on it, but like, I just want, it's
the titties are like very, it's, it's not like
a, like a size of a human torso. It's like a,
it's very small, but like the titties were fucking
hysterical. Cause like you can smack them and
they would just go. Fuck. But yeah, dude, it
was so fun. And then one guy just kept it. He's
like, I'm actually going to fuck it. It's like.
That makes sense. That tracks. Jesus Christ.
He was hoping he got it. He was like, ah, damn.
Shit. Beans. If you're ever looking for a joke
gift that you just want somebody to have to have
the struggle of throwing it away, just buy one
of those for somebody. All right. I'm going to
buy one for Cece. That would be very funny. Just
be like, yo, check this out. Be like, good luck
getting that bastard, daughter. Mommy, what's
that? Oh, that's the half torso of your sibling.
Don't you worry about it. You didn't see a thing,
kiddo. You know how you have your dolls? Well,
daddy gave me this one. I'm going to hell. My
one buddy literally got it, and then he threw
it in the college dumpster. He just didn't even
take it home. He just threw it in the college
dumpster. There was an in -depth investigation
going on for that guy, for sure. That's so fucking
funny. I feel like if you buy one of those things,
you're probably on a watch list. Probably. That's
just like... I mean, I've always seen... You
guys ever get ads for that shit on your fucking...
One of the main reasons I deleted fucking Instagram
was... all my shit, even though I never engaged
in it ever, like I didn't like, I didn't follow.
I didn't watch them. I tried to scroll through
them as quick as I could, but on social media,
it would just be straight up porn. And then occasionally
I'd get like ads from team you that like, you
could fucking like, you could get like, yeah,
the fleshlights and shit. Yeah. And it would
be like fleshlights, crack pipes, like all this
fucking, like just the worst shit. Like the,
the only shit that you would not want on your
phone screen while you're at work. It was all
of it. It was like drug paraphernalia. genitalia
sex toys like i had i had the fucking issue when
i get like the ads for like the ai porn like
thing where there's like this ai chat bot does
not take anybody's clothes off completely legal
you'll come in 0 .06 seconds playing this game
horse come dot com but like it's like like they
would do shit like that and then they'd be like
yo This chat bot has no filters. And it's just
like, pay us $75 a month. Oh, God. We got to
fucking weed out the people that use those things.
Oh, my God. Did you buy any of the crack pipes?
No, I did not fucking buy any of the crack pipes.
I did see on Cold Ones, they just bought the
most unhinged things that they could on Teemu.
And they got like 18 crack pipes. They were never
called what they were, too. It was like herb
pipe. Yeah, it would be like glass decoration,
hand -blown glass, made of 100 % glass, no smoking.
Dude, it's a fucking crack pipe, alright? It's
very clearly a fucking crack pipe that you're
selling for a concerningly cheap price. 89 cents.
If I was a crack addict, I would not get my pipe
from fucking Teemu. That's wild. Where do people
even get crack pipes? I mean, you can buy them
in any head shop for the most part. Like, buying
a crack pipe, you can call it, like, a bowl if
you wanted to. What is, like, if you're not buying
a crack pipe for crack, what could you smoke
out of it? I don't know. I'm not familiar. I'm
not a guy who smokes weed or anything. Is there
a way that you could smoke weed out of a crack
pipe? Probably. I don't know what a crack pipe
really is. Yeah, I don't know the in -depth.
A crack pipe is literally just like a sphere,
like a sphere. At the end of a cylinder. Like
the end of a tube. I guess you could put weed
in it, just like a bowl. It just looks like a
bowl, right? Or you could put tobacco in it.
It doesn't have like a thing. You have to like
heat it up around. Well, there's got to be a
hole. There's got to be a hole at the end of
the pipe, though. Otherwise, you wouldn't be
able to inhale through it. So I imagine if you
put weed in whatever that hole is that your mouth
doesn't go on and you lit the weed up. through
that you could smoke through it i would fucking
dude i was a fucking chaotic motherfucker in
high school we i most of the times i smoked weed
it was through aluminum foil i thought you're
gonna say i smoked crack in high school i use
the tbu crack pipe No. I would use a fucking
Poland Springs water bottle. One of these things.
You take a lighter to it. You burn a hole in
the bottom. Take this thing off the top. If you
were bougie and you had a setup that you could
hide from your parents, you'd take a knife and
screw the top here. Then you'd put a quarter
inch socket through the top and you'd use the
socket as the bowl. And you'd smoke it. Then
you'd have, like, a Burger King cup or something
that had an open end that would be filled up,
like, halfway with water. After you burned the
hole here, then you'd put that on. You'd put
your little thing on the top. You'd light it
and then slowly lift it so the water would get
pulled out of here and into there. So you just
made a homemade gravity bomb? Yes. A bug gravity
bomb. Yes. We called them gates there in Bethlehem,
though. So you'd be dropping gates. And you'd
fuck for a week. Yeah, they were fucking... Yeah,
you would smoke, like, a... Fifteenth of a gram
and be the highest you've been in your entire
fucking life. They were like, it was a ghetto
way. Can we, can we, can I get the other one?
Can I get the spicy vape? Yeah, I'll take that
off your hand. So I, in Waterfleet, lean was
a pretty big fucking thing. Like lean was pretty
big. I had lean by mistake because they said
it was grape fucking Sprite. You fucking, that's
crazy that you have done a drug that I have not.
Yeah, I have done lean because they said it was
a fucking thing. And I was like, wait a fucking
second. And I'm like, dude, I feel like fucking
shit right now. Like it, it did not feel good.
Like it, the best way I can describe it is it's
like a nicotine head high, but like 10 times
worse and things like feel like they're doing
like, And I was like, what the fuck? And then
I smashed a glass table. Yeah, it's an opiate.
It's going to be addicting. It wasn't codeine
in it, but I got a combination thing of NyQuil
and DayQuil. And I don't think I did enough NyQuil
for it to hit me as hard. Maybe I did. I don't
know. I was fucking wide awake and I was trying
to put myself to bed. I was sick a handful of
weeks ago. And I probably did like three doses
throughout the night. And then I went to bed
that night. And, dude, I was fucking, like, tripping
out. Because I was talking to CeCe, and I was
like, why the fuck did I have to show ID to buy
this shit? I was like, it doesn't have codeine
in it. Like, what's going to get me high? The
fucking Benadryl? Like, I just don't fucking
get it. And I wasn't sleepy or anything. But,
dude, it was just fucking weird. It didn't feel
like melatonin. It didn't feel like weed, alcohol,
or anything. It was just a difference. whatever
it is there was something psychoactive in it
at the dose that I did it because it was like
I wasn't like tripping out or anything I robo
tripped I guess I robo tripped I robo tripped
semi on purpose but like that's kind of like
seeing the hat man type shit is robo tripping
Well, yeah. I mean, I'm assuming if it's the
same drug class, like if it's like an antihistamine,
if you take enough of any of them, you're going
to start tripping the fuck out. You're going
to see the hat man, dude. Dextromethorphan. I
can't take fucking Benadryl anymore. Dextromethorphan?
Is that it? Because that's what makes you robo
-tripped. Okay, so yeah. You were fucking robo
-tripped. I robo -tripped. I did that one time.
Did the hat man show up and be like, yo, you
owe me $20? No, it was a very pleasant sensation.
Because I didn't know. I had a buddy who tried
to make me do lean in high school because we'd
smoke a bunch of weed together and he's like
oh man like let's go to a party and do this shit
tonight i'm not fucking doing that that's crazy
i smoked a lot of hookah in high school because
like one kid would bring the hookah to like the
the uh the like the track parties yeah and you
just smoke hookah and like i was like that's
awesome and i was like like hookah hookah was
fine hookah's cool i did that at a handful of
parties with one of our ex -co -workers but uh
That was always a great time. But my nicotine
tolerance was so fucking high at the time working
for Mohawk that, like, I never got a head high
off of the thing. I never got sick, and I would
just nail the thing the entire time. Dude, that
blueberry fucking hookah that you got was awesome.
That was pretty good. I still have a bunch of
tobacco and shit over there. It's just, like,
I can't help because it feels so pleasant when
you inhale off of it. You just would never guess
that it's... Can we fucking set up the hookah?
It's so fucking bad for you, though. Dude, I
love hookah. It's so bad. It's like the equivalent
of what? 17 zingerettes or something? Yeah, it's
something insane. Dude, if we set up the hookah,
I'd smoke it right now. Yeah. I just remember
the statistic was like smoking hookah for an
hour. You can set it up. I don't think I'm going
to smoke the hookah. All right. That's an autistic
hyperfixation. Send like a guitar case over there
or something. I think. Well, it's a fucking hookah
case today. No, she doesn't know what she's missing.
It's a little bit of a process to get the hookah
smoking. I think it's in like a soft case. Come
with me Friday. Don't say maybe. I'm just a teenage
dirtbag baby like you. Oh, yeah, it must be in
there. Sorry, I'm just giving color commentary
for our listeners while these two fucking degenerates
set up a hookah. Should we tell Tyler about the
match, the boxing match? Oh, yeah, Tyler's going
to fucking love this idea. Casey, you explain
it to him. Tyler, you're going to be a huge...
No, you've seen chess boxing, right? Yes. I think
we would be evenly matched because you're better
at boxing and I'm better at chess, so, like,
I think... It would be an even fight. But here's
the thing. He doesn't want to play for anything.
I just want the honor. Yeah, you get the honor,
but you're at least going to have one round in
the ring with Tyler. And like I said, I think
you're going to be able to somewhat defend yourself,
but Tyler's going to get the better of you in
boxing. We'll play for one Jeopardy win. I just
feel like Tyler's not going to have that big
of a blow to his pride when you beat him at chess
if he got to punch you as many times as he wanted
to. We just need some water. Yeah, you need water
and... You guys... We're doing a podcast and
now we're just... There wasn't a better time
for this. We have to do it while we're on the
air. I mean, I could sit up during break. During
break, yeah. I feel like during the break...
Well, I'm figuring out the Jeopardy week should
do it. Oh, the hoses? I think they're in the
bag. Isn't there a bag on top of there? There's
like a Target bag. Yeah. All right. Do our listeners
have any song requests for me to sing quietly?
How about Randy Walters is a son of a bitch?
Randy Walters is a son of a bitch. That's the
only one that I know. So, Adam, did you see the
Generation Alpha Ice Agents? Nope. Somebody took
a picture of these ICEAs in an airport, and they
all look like they're in fucking middle school
now. That's awesome. So they just hire anyone,
and they're like... I fucking hate mangoes. He
sent ICE into the airports to replace TSA because
they aren't getting paid. Oh, my God. Because
they don't pass the bill. The ICE is rapidly
turning into the Gestapo. I'm just going to come
out and say it. They're just like a fucking presidential
task force at this point. Ooh, freshman. Dude,
I saw like... Can I get that vape? The normal
one, the not spicy one? I think Tyler had that.
The other one was really spicy. It made me feel
flunky. I don't got enough nails. I saw this
today. Pete Hegseth, he told the army that Trump
would not want to stand next to a black man in
general at his military events, so he took the
general off the promotion list. Wow. How do you
get the charcoal on top? You put it in there?
You put the charcoal in here. Oh, no. No, you
put one of the coals on top, yeah. You need aluminum
foil, though, don't you? Yeah, you wrap it in
foil. Okay. See? Now you fuckers are going to
smoke through aluminum foil today. What's this
one? That's mint. Fresh mint. Is there other
ones there, too? There's blueberry, mango, and
weed. Weed? Purple haze. I hurt myself. Strawberry,
strawberry. To see if I still feel. All right,
well, we'll take a break and I'll sign off if
you want. Tried to kill it all the way. We'll
be back. The only thing. Welcome back to Untitled
Podcast. This is a lemon pound cake, bro. Welcome
back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.
Welcome back. We're smoking a hookah. We're trying
to... I'm gonna get sick if I hit this too many
times. What flavor we got here? Y 'all put barely
enough water in the bottom of that thing. I'm
just inhaling straight hookah. You can fill it
up more. Well, not all the way. Just put an inch
past the stem. You want some? He literally just
hit me. I'm good. I'll fucking eat that thing.
So, Ally Mac, have you heard about Palm Beach
Pete? Nope. Tell me about him. He's just a guy
in Palm Beach that looks exactly like Jeffrey
Epstein. Oh. He looks like a fat Jeffrey Epstein.
Let's say that. I thought you said he was in
Israel. You think we're fucking stupid, Ally
Mac. I thought Jeffrey Epstein was in Israel.
He says, I took a DNA test, and I'm second cousins
with Jeffrey Epstein. Okay. Look into this guy.
If you take the letters S -I -N, Sin, out of
Epstein, it spells Pete. If you scramble them
around. They think we're fucking stupid, Alleyback.
This is fucking retarded dancing. I think we're
digging a little bit too far into it here. They
have a shot of his teeth. His teeth look exactly
like Epstein's. They're not straight. I mean,
Jeffrey Epstein is a pretty generic -looking
white dude, though. He's not a white dude. I
think he's unique -looking. He's got that weird,
like, chin. Is he Israeli? He's got a very flat
face. Yeah, he's Israeli. Is he actually? Is
he what? Is Jeffrey Epstein Israeli? Yeah. That
sounds like some shit you're just making up.
He's not. No, he was born in America. No, he's
not, like, from Israel, but he has, like, Israeli
or, like... His family's probably from Israel
if he's Jewish. Oh. Shows how much I know. I
think he was born in New York, right? He's got
a New York accent. Dude, you're fucking asking
me. I just said I don't fucking know. Yeah, he
was born in New York. I'm not Epstein. I think
he's still alive. Can we all just, for a fact
on a podcast, say, I am not Jeffrey Epstein?
Because I am not Jeffrey Epstein. Debatable.
If you put his name through a cipher and remove
the numbers, it spells Tyler. If you take out
Jeffrey Epstein and add in the letters T -Y -L
-E -R, then it says Tyler. Yeah, yeah. You have
the fucking negative win of Jeffrey Epstein.
You are Jeffrey Epstein. God damn it! I'm Jeffrey
Epstein the whole time? Yeah, they gave you a
fucking Men in Black fucking memory eraser. You
actually are Epstein. Damn, dude. I think it's
safe to say at this point in the podcast that
Alex Jones is right about everything. Did you
guys see that video of him? I don't know whose
podcast he was on, but he was on a podcast talking
about how fucking, whatchamacallit, InfoWars
is finally shutting down. Yeah, you can understand
every sixth word that comes out of his mouth.
He's like, we'll be back. Tim Pool. I think that's
Timcast. JB, can you pull that clip up of fucking
Tyler Jones? i think i think it's worth listening
to because he just he fucking one i laugh every
time i hear him speak and two it just doesn't
also have like a fucking medical episode on it
too and he's like the podcast and the money and
they're trying to shut us down and then anyway
so anyways yeah it's unfortunately going off
the air but we're gonna be back and it's it's
just you know it's just they just keep fucking
and then and then they come over and and well
anyways we're gonna be back what podcast was
he on i think it was on a timcast look up just
like alex jones talks about info war shutting
down it'll it'll pull a clip up you don't need
to listen to some fucking 20 minute video here
I just found it quite entertaining. Oh, geez.
Oh, you got it? It's a big joke. It's not really,
though. I mean, it is, but it isn't. It's also
inspiring. My voice will completely go into this.
It's a God transmission. It's a human under attack.
Ah! Ah! Ah! Tyler, this is what you turn into.
This is what you turn into. This is what's going
to happen to us someday. We're going to get shut
down by the fucking Israelis. The first five
seconds of that video were incredible. Tyler,
did you hear it? No, I didn't. Oh, please play
that back again, Casey. Can you muster up more
pride? It's a big joke. It's not really, though.
I mean, it is, but it isn't. It's also inspiring.
My voice will completely go. It's my resistance
to them. It's a God transmission. It's a human
under attack. We're going to beat these people.
I'm not trying to be dramatic here, but it's
been a hard fight. It sounds like fucking Kyle
on the last podcast. People hate our children.
I didn't listen to that. What was going on with
Kyle on the podcast? I don't know. I didn't hear
it yet. Speaking of which, what did you think
about my Hope Corps Jesus message there? Did
you like that? I think it was very Christian.
Yeah, it was very in -depth. I just loved the
way that Casey described it to me. It was just
every cast member. performing their own form
of autism. It just added all the shit that we
would absolutely yell at each other to shut the
fuck up about if we were there, and it was just
a fucking blank sheet for them. What the fuck
did you talk about? I just got your text, by
the way. Okay, that's great. A bit late now.
I had the flu, so I was just kind of reacting
to a bunch of funny shit in the news. Yeah, Casey
convinced me that everything is gone forever,
and we're already dead. We're dying. I mean,
we might be. You're dead already. We could be
brain cells in a Petri dish. But instead, you
didn't. You've chosen the path of pain. We're
being murdered. We're being murdered. Half of
us will be dead in two weeks. Look that, I want
to hear that video. Look that up. Honestly, that's
worth looking up. Dude, I could listen to a fucking
24 -hour compilation of Alex Jones talking. Just
Alex Jones saying schizo shit. And it's just,
it never, that's the gift that keeps on giving.
That really is. And then every once in a while,
he says some shit that makes sense, but he says
it in such a chaotic, just crazy way. We're being
murdered. If he was just a better comedian. You're
dead already. It's actually hard to find Alex
Jones because he's like blacklisted. He is blacklisted
from YouTube. Yeah, I don't know if I can find
that. Dude, type in Alex Jones comms people.
That's how I found that. Comms people? Yes, that's
the name of the video. Yeah, Alex Jones comms
people. It's not there anymore. No. If I can
find it, I'll send it over to you because it's
fucking hysterical. We'll be right back on the
Untitled Podcast. Everybody's going to look at
their phones to try to find this video. Oh, no.
God, that's the most whacker thing I've ever
seen. When first responders have to respond to
a pediatric emergency. Oh, man. Oh, no. So are
you familiar with the comedian Drewski? Yes.
No. You just dressed up like Erica Kirk. I heard
Cece was asking her brother about that before
I left. And it was something about like he's
getting sued or something. Yeah, because he did
Whiteface. Are you fucking kidding me? You sue
everybody every SNL skit that they do that parodies
somebody. Oh, he was an SNL skit? No, I'm saying
like that's a parody. You're suing comedians
for doing comedy now? That's crazy. Please tell
me you can find it, Tyler. I'm looking for it.
That can't be erased. That's a fucking mythic
poll of lost media if that's gone. I'm going
to need to see that video again. The Anti -Defamation
League fucking is the first thing that comes
up for Alex Jones. That's so fucking funny. You're
dead already. We're being murdered. Half of us
will be dead in two weeks. Ugh. Oh, God. Alex
Jones calms people. It's got to be here. Dude,
Alex Jones is so fucking funny. Alex Jones rants
as an indie folk song. That's such a good one,
too. I could verbatim quote this entire thing.
I actually never saw the original skit that he
did. That's funny. Damn. I have them on video.
I just love the fucking part in the court trial
where they're like, Miller is in the creepy weird
sick stuff, man. They're like, you are aware
that your attorney sent us all of your text messages,
right? To Alex Jones? Yeah. His fucking lawyer
sent the defense, or sent the plaintiff's attorney.
every text message by accident like all of the
stuff that incriminated alex jones they waited
until he denied everything that was in the text
i found it i found it i found it i'll send it
to the group chat give me a second yes is it
the actual video it's the actual video fuck yes
it's not the original but it's a re -upload okay
all right all right casey it's on there you gotta
you gotta fucking put that on there all right
Hell yeah, dude. I had to fucking circle back
around it. Give me more volume. Please. Fuck
all the way. You're dead already. You don't like
giving your little boys transgender drugs? How
about we just kill you, everybody? Like, we try
to just let you die quietly, but since you didn't,
you've chosen the path of pain. But the people
doing this that serve the fallen one. The fallen
one. The fallen one. Satan. He's very real. And
wants to destroy you and your family forever.
You got to let it keep going. There's more to
it, isn't there? That was the end of the video.
Fuck. The ending was, it was, okay, he did that,
and he was like. I used to feel sorry. I used
to feel sorry for people who were coming after
me. Because I'm like. Would the dramatic camera
pan out when he says that? And he goes, I'm like
an insane killer ape. And he starts going, you're
going to burn in hell. You're going to burn in
hell. You're going to burn in hell. You're going
to burn in hell. Oh, my God. We got some new
options for ads for a podcast. New products to
promote. Let's promote some podcasts. Miss me
with that shit. Botox in the tube by Love Indus.
That's going to be freedom of expression or erase
your lines. I'm going to give you 21 % off. Code
Untitled Podcast. at checkout don't dude i actually
use snake venom on my i i got a i got a facial
when i was on a cruise ship and my dad gave you
a facial but i i got a facial on a cruise ship
and then they're like and i looked in the mirror
my holy shit like it made like all like the bags
under my eyes go away i go what the fuck did
you guys use like oh that was a snake venom i'm
like Great. Awesome. Oh, shit. Ally Mac, you
would like this one. It's liqueur. L -I -Q -U
-R -E. Gummies that help prevent hangovers. All
right. All right. I do get some pretty... I got
two twisted T's. I'm probably going to be hungover
tomorrow, so... Hillary's in the creepy, weird,
sick stuff, man. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness
gracious. Liquor gummies combined DHM, milk,
thistle, B vitamins, and ginger root to help
your body recover after drinking. They fight
fatigue, nausea, and dehydration. You wake up
feeling refreshed. Try them for faster recovery.
Hell yeah. Don't buy them. Just don't fucking
buy them. 20 % off. You don't need it. 20 % off.
It probably doesn't work. This is what Dan wants
us to do instead of having ads in the middle.
What's that? Do these promos. Yeah, well, Dan's
word I'll start taking under consideration when
he fucking shows up. I'm sorry. I'm the flake,
I know. I wanted to talk about Resident Evil
9. Great game. It was a really good game. I hated
the grace parts. I fucking hated the Grace parts,
but the Leon parts, I was like, yo. I don't think
that Leon's parts would feel as good if Grace's
parts weren't there, though. Dude, because when
you're playing as Leon, you're like, this guy
fucks. You just feel indestructible when you
play as him. Which is funny, because realistically,
you can do just as much damage as Grace. Your
weapons are just a little bit shittier, and ammo's
a bit tougher to come across. But also you can't
do like the fucking like roundhouse kicks and
like axe fucking finishers. No, no, but it's
just, I don't know. You just feel like when you
play as Leon, it's like, I remember the first
time they swapped me to Leon. I was like, oh
fuck, this is going to be hard. There's like
three zombies. And this guy here was like, this
guy fucks. Wait a minute. Nevermind. I have a
fucking chainsaw now. Because I thought that
he couldn't pick it up. After I shot the chainsaw
guy, I'm like, whatever. And then another zombie
picks it up. I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah, I saw
that. And then it's like skipping across the
floor, too. And it's like, fuck me. The one part
I will say was pretty funny, I just want to tell,
was Casey was in a Discord call with me while
he was playing through the part where he needs
to fight against the... Yeah, spoilers for the
end of the game, pretty much. For all our listeners
who play Resident Evil. Leon is fighting against
the elite agents of the fucking Umbrella. Casey
died probably 40 times to these people. And he
kept asking me what to do. And I'd give you advice.
And then you would go in. Well, that's what I
told him. I was like, try to pick a couple of
them off. All right, now you're going to want
to crouch walk. Use the red tanks because then
you can make the fucking liquor come out. Which
part was this? I thought this was the guy. This
was the part where you have to climb the ladder,
cross to the other side, and then fight all the
guys that have guns. Right before you fight Hunk.
and I just loved it because Casey kept getting...
Oh, that guy started shooting back at you. I
was like, what the fuck? This is Resident Evil.
This is not fucking Call of Duty multiplayer.
Casey was, bro can't handle multiplayer in Call
of Duty. Dude, I remember the last time me and
Casey played multiplayer because me and Hauser
were playing fucking Call of Duty and like, Hauser's
a fucking phenomenal Call of Duty player and
like, so I was used to like fucking like running
lobbies and shit and like me and him were getting
like one and two every single time. Casey, on
the other hand, when we played a fucking Call
of Duty lobby in, like, multiplayer, mind you,
I have, like, six fucking, I have three things
that are diamond, like, three different categories
that are diamond and, you know, shit like that.
And Casey has never played a multiplayer match.
He has zero multiplayer camos. Every single camo
is a zombie camo. And then this motherfucker
gets in there and just gets fucking murked the
entire time. His KD is, like, fucking negative
20. You just get spawn killed by fucking 12 -year
-olds. You don't get spawn killed if you fucking
move. I just wanted to say, in regards to the
Resident Evil thing, Casey would go against this
group of people and fight them every time. Be
like, alright, Casey, you just died. Are you
going to change the game plan at all? Are you
going to try to mix it up, do anything different
so you have a better outcome? And he goes, nope.
I'm just going to go Leroy Jenkins with it until
it fucking works. That's usually what I do in
video games. I know. I asked Casey, I was like,
so... So you're just going to do this encounter.
You're going to use all of your healing items
and all of your ammunition. Escape with a fucking
ounce of your life left and a single bullet for
a pistol. That's what I do every Resident Evil
fight. I know. That's my biggest fear in games
like Resident Evil is escaping a hard conflict
with nothing left to the point where then I'm
fucked. There's always more ammo that you can
pick up before you fight the next... Sometimes.
They should always give you enough ammo. to kill
the next thing. Dude, the fucking, like, I was
playing Resident Evil 2 after that, and you know
the part in Resident Evil 2 where you have to
fight the G -Virus guy with the crane? Yeah.
Dude, I fucking lost my fucking mind playing
that. Like, I lost my mind. Like, I had to, like,
leave because I had, I was on critical health,
I had zero bullets and zero healing items. And
I'm like, Dude, I'm fucked. Did either of you
guys own a PSP? Yes. Yeah. The original disc
one? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Did either of you play
Ratchet & Clank Size Matters? No. Because the
final boss, not even the final boss, it makes
it seem like it's the final boss. And the final
boss is just as bad. The Vinyl Boss had an unskippable
two -minute cutscene for it. Oh, no! The checkpoint
already required you to run straight, like, 30
seconds to get to the point where the cutscene
starts. And then, like, there's this long -ass
chase scene where this thing, like, you're in,
like, a cornfield, and you're running away from
this chick as she shoots you with a fucking...
uh spaceship that takes like 45 seconds and then
you get to the first phase of the boss fight
and you need to fucking there's like three different
phases that have their own uncut unskippable
cut scenes with them she wipes out half of your
health if she hits you once and if you die you
have to repeat the unskippable cut scenes you
have to run through the cornfield it was Unbelievable.
The boss wasn't even that hard, but you had to
die so many times to understand her attack pattern.
I gave up. I had my buddy beat the fucking boss
fight for me when I was a kid because it was
like, it's not worth the time commitment. Like,
I just, I don't want to fucking do it. I pretty
much played Final Fantasy Dissidia on my PSP.
Yeah. And Kingdom Hearts. Fuck. What was it?
Birth by Sleep. Okay. Okay. I got a CC's brother
is giving me a steering wheel for sim racing,
and I'm going to pull the trigger on buying a
PSVR2 this week because apparently Gran Turismo
7 and VR is like fucking crazy. So I'll catch
you in a sim race tournament near you soon. I
have a feeling I'm going to be pretty fucking
nasty at this, so I'm sorry. What the fuck did
I spend fucking like $300 on the other day? I
was like, I want that. Me and Dan have just been
bombing fucking the Middle East. Yeah, you fucking
blow up the group chat too. Where are you? Oh,
I'm in Israel. Oh, let's go to Iran. Let's see
what's going on there. I bought a fucking B -2
bomber. I'm going to pretend to crash my plane
into the World Trade Center. Okay. Let's go to
Antarctica and see if they got any fucking crazy
giant Asians over there. The super weapons. I
do like listening to you guys in the group chat,
though. It's funny. It just sucks sometimes.
I'm trying to go to fucking bed. I had to go
to bed at midnight because I get up for work
early in the morning. And I just keep hearing
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And
I look down and it's Casey being like, so the
politics in the Middle East actually are like
this. You don't even understand, Dan. And Dan's
just like, you're fucking retarded, Casey. What
the fuck are you even talking about? This is
why liberals lose. This is. why liberals lose
and it's just the same conversation every single
night i feel like i'm in groundhog day i just
love it because dan gets me on his side with
the first like 10 lines he says usually i agree
with casey and then dan brings up a counter argument
or just like proves what casey's claim was was
false and i'm like kind of backing dan and then
dan will say some outlandish shit that'll just
be like all right i don't think i believe a single
word out of the other way around I mean, it goes
both ways with you guys. Oh, I know it does.
I mean, half the time we're just being ridiculous.
We're just being fucking outlandish on purpose.
That smells terrible. I fucking love it. Might
be working day shifts soon anyway. That's crazy.
Did CeCe send you the link to the job, by the
way? No, but I got an interview this week from
Cardiology. I told her to text you. I'm going
to have some words with her when I get home.
So Casey, you ever get married? Yeah. Yep. Hopefully
I get this job and then I can save up some money
and get married. Just buy a fucking ring pop.
You actually want to have kids? I didn't picture
you as a guy who wanted to have kids. Well, I'm
30 now, so. Dirty 30. Like genuinely, like you
want to have kids? Yeah. Yeah. That was so unconvincing.
I'm sorry. Well, I've always been like, I don't
know. I always felt like having kids was kind
of like. Pointless. But having kids, I feel like
is going to be the best thing. Because I don't
know. The world sucks. Why do you want to bring
new life into the world? I don't think the world
sucks. And if you don't bring people into it,
then how are things going to get better? But
also we are being outbreeded by stupid people.
We're being outbreeded by the fucking Chinese.
We got it. We got it. We got to fucking do something
like we got to have more kids because stupid
people. hillbillies fucking ghetto people. It's
all the people you don't want to have eight kids
have eight kids. Isn't that always how it seems
though? You look at these inbred hillbillies
and they're like, I have 14 kids. This is my
grandson. He's fucking 14. I am 28. This guy?
Oh, his name's Jedediah Bookshank. Yeah, he's
my firstborn and the smartest of us. He actually
grew Graduated third grade in only six years.
Can you believe that? He also has two kids of
his own. They are two and three currently. We're
going to try to get his ass into Harvard. He's
already got a couple on the way too. Only his
first cousin too. He made her fall so sweet on
him. Oh my God. All right, guys. We just lost
all our Alabama viewers. Yeah, well, we didn't
fucking want them. Fuck you, Alabama. Fuck your
cousins. These people in fucking West Virginia
have 10 kids. It's like, what good are you doing
the world? Also, the Mormons are having too many
kids, too. The Mormons are having like 14 kids.
Well, when you have 36 wives, you might as fucking
well. No, each wife has like 14 kids. Well, that's
a problem. How the fuck are these motherfuckers
affording this, though? That's my question. Dude,
I think about that constantly. I'm I keep wanting
to pull the trigger on buying myself nice things,
and I'm like, nope, can't. I'm having a kid soon.
I can't. Everything's going to be gone. I feel
like you get satisfaction from buying your kids
things. Whenever I see something, whenever I
go to a sporting event. It's like I overlooked
the price tag completely. Instead of buying myself
like a super sick like Bills winter hat for like
25 bucks, I'll buy a onesie for like $48. I was
drunk as fuck the last Bills game I went to.
I bought her a pink unicorn. And the only thing
that made it Bills was that it just had this
Buffalo Bills logo in pink, very poorly stitched
onto the side of it. And I bought that thing
for $45. I woke up the next morning and was like,
why the fuck did I think this thing was a good
purchase? It would have been in a fucking claim
game. It cost them like 30 cents to build. Yeah,
the stuff that me and Emily got you, we got you
at like the months that like... Like when the
bills, like when the football season was like,
that's the, that's the reason why we got the
crazy. You guys went crazy. Emily goes overboard
on fucking everything. Dude, that was unbelievable.
Me and her, like we were opening your guys presence
for, I feel like, I don't know. That was wild
though. Emily, listen. And when you do have your
kid, Emily's going to send you another fucking
care package. I know she's going to. Everybody
is. And it's going to be a fucking problem. This
baby's got more clothes than me and it's not
even fucking born yet. Like, it's unbelievable.
You get a name dropper or no? Not yet. I don't
want... If there's anybody who's been listening
to this podcast for that long... I love you guys.
No, I love you guys, but I don't want the people
who listen to this podcast to know the name of
my daughter. I thought you already named your
daughter. I did. I was asking if he was going
to name my daughter. I forgot it. If I remember
it, I would absolutely say it on the podcast
right now. You're an asshole, Casey. That's a
fucking insane move. Like fucking Carmen or something.
I already have a name for a boy or a girl. If
I have a boy, it'd be Michael Christopher Lee.
And if I have a girl, it's Daisy Rosely. If you
name your son Michael Christopher, I am just
going to view him as fucking Christopher Moltisanti
from Sopranos. I'm going to name my kid... Because
it's Michael Imperioli, but his character is
Christopher Moltisanti. That's actually funny.
We call him Mick, though. Mickey. I'm going to
name my kid... I ain't no fucking Mick! Well,
he would be a Mick. Yeah, he would be a Mick.
I'm going to name my kid Shaquille. Shaquille
O 'Neal. I'm going to name my kid Judson. Judson
McDonald. First name, second. Middle name, Judson.
Well, he will be a fourth black, so. Like a sprained
ankle, boy, ain't nothing to play with. Oh, God,
why am I singing your Drake song? I'm going Epstein's
Island. Dude, it's forever, dude. May ever, may
ever, may ever, may. And then fucking Eminem
comes in. There they go. Back in stadiums. The
shady shit they flow. Now say go. Macadamia.
You know, I'm going to say an unpopular opinion
here. Eminem is fucking cringe as fuck, dude.
Eminem now is cringe. Because he's still trying
to be 24 years old when he's like pushing. He's
over 50 now, isn't he? I think so. He's a fucking
grandfather and he's still trying to pull the
Eminem stick. Dude. Hang it up. Give it up. Give
it up, bro. I like schizo Eminem, like 3 a .m.
It's 3 a .m. in the morning. I like, did you
ever hear? Body's laying all over the floor.
Did you ever hear the song Cold Wind Blows by
him? It's fucking hysterical. He's like, he's
like. I don't know if you can see the meme. He
goes, God, what the fuck? Literally like halfway
through the song in fucking Cold Wind Blows,
Eminem just goes, ah, what the fuck? I just got
struck by lightning. That's crazy. that song
I was talking about the 3am one it's him walking
through a psych ward surrounded by dead bodies
and he can't remember what happened so he's assuming
he murdered them and there's the music video
is that off of recovery no it was pre -recovery
that was one of his earlier albums it's a good
song 3am recovery kind of sucks even he thinks
that recovery sucks It's real cringe. I also
think that whatever the fucking one with the
tail end of the airplane, Kamikaze, I think the
name of the album was, fucking sucks. Recovery
did have a couple bops, though. It had Not Afraid.
Not Afraid, Won't Back Down. There was one other
good one on there that I can't remember. What
fucking video game did Won't Back Down for their
commercial? Was it Battlefield? I think so. I
remember the commercial when I was fucking 14.
Yo, that's the coolest shit. They put fucking
Eminem in there, dude. That's crazy. Yeah, it
just appealed to everybody who owned a Turtle
Beach headset. Dude, I fucking loved Eminem when
I was in high school. And then as soon as I turned
20, I'm like, yo, this is kind of sad. My buddy
is still like just as deep into him as he was
in middle school. That's kind of sad, dude. It
is kind of crazy. And I'd be like, I only listen
to Eminem. I'm like, all right, let's. Fucking.
Let's settle down. Let's calm down. I love the
people that are like, yo, Eminem is the greatest
rapper of all time. And they're like wearing
the backwards E necklace and shit. It's like,
bro, you're a 35 years old. I'm getting back
into Wu -Tang lately. Wu -Tang's fucking sick.
Yeah. Wu -Tang, dude. Fourth Chamber is fucking
sick. Shaolin shadowboxing. The Wu -Tang style.
It's like, you take the ball. You will join your
mother in death. Bring the motherfucking ruckus!
Bring the, bring the, bring the motherfucking
ruckus! Oh, God, I love it. Ghost face! Oh, dirty
bastard! All right, Casey. Do you want to, do
you want to fucking rip into some Jeppy here?
Oh, Dan's almost here. Fuck! Alright, I guess
we'll fucking wait for his... I do, I do. Dude,
Bring the Ruckus is such a good song. He's like,
Bring the Ruckus! Bring the motherfucking Ruckus!
Bring the motherfucking Ruckus! Going P1 to a
shooting to that song. Bring the motherfucking
Ruckus! There's no feeling quite like that. It's
just an unbelievably... Bring the motherfucking
Ruckus! Casey, only if you'd like to spare another
would I be able to get one more twee. Yeah! Oh,
we're fucking lit. There's no water. There's
no fucking water in that. I'm inhaling air. Are
you getting bubbles? Yeah, dude, it's fucking
brutal. Holy shit, that's harsh as fuck. Bring
a mother ruckus. Fucking vocal cords is a ruckus.
So are you going to get out of EMS soon, you
think? Nope. You're going to be a lifer? I don't
think I'm going to be a lifer. So there's going
to be a crisis in five years. I'm going to have
a point of crisis. So are you 27 or are you 26?
I'm 27 years young, Tyler. And when's your birthday?
All right, I don't want to drop that on the pod.
What month? The 10th one. Oh, dad, the little
fucking spooky boy? I'm spoopy. My birthday's
next month. I'm going to be 28. If I make it...
What's today's date? If I make it a month and
two days, I am no longer going to be able to
become a part of the 27 Club. There you go. There
you go. My question to you is, do you miss EMS
even a little bit? Yes. I miss it a lot, especially
when I'm sitting at my desk doing paperwork.
I'm like, bruh. I could be fucking. I miss the.
I could be ripping YouTube for six hours on a
no -hitter right now. I fucking loved the MS.
Thank you, Casey. Just due to the fact that there
were some days that you're just ripping YouTube
for fucking six hours a day and you're not doing
anything. The thing is, I'm ripping YouTube for
eight hours a day at my fucking current job,
but I'm also doing work at the same time. But
I've been listening to a lot of podcasts and
a lot of just music when I'm doing shit. Except
the untitled podcast. Sub. Sub. Hit the like
button. Like and subscribe. Or don't. We don't
give a fuck. Smash that fucking like button.
We're going to beat Joe Rogan one day. We're
already beating him. I don't give a fuck about
his fake inflated bot numbers. We have more listeners.
We've actually been getting a lot of views lately.
We have like 400 last 30 days. All time 11 ,000.
That's pretty good. That's concerning. Our top
city is Singapore. Fucking, that's where our
bot farm is. No, it says it doesn't include bots.
Anybody wants to get me tickets to the Singapore
Grand Prix in F1? We should do a show live in
Singapore. Don't you have a Hiroshima fucking
baseball jersey? I do, yes. Well, no, I have
a... Wait, what the fuck are they? Nagasaki,
the carp? Yes, I have the Nagasaki carp. No,
it's the Hiroshima carp. I thought it was the
Hiroshima, yeah. I don't know. It says Hiroshima
on the front of it, though. That's awesome. Yeah,
it's Hiroshima. and it's got the carp on the
side. I bought it for $30, and it's probably
the most high -quality baseball jersey I have.
It's, like, triple -layer stitched. Like, actually,
like, it's made by a company that's not the ones
who make the jerseys for the NPB, which is the
Nippon... I can't remember what it stands for.
It's the Japanese Baseball League, which nobody
fucking ever... Everybody sleeps on Japan. The
talent in the NPB is just as good as the MLB.
They are just as good. I mean, they fucking beat
us in the World Baseball Classic in 2023. Dude,
Japan is like... Japan loves baseball. Japan's
insane about baseball. The thing that I fucking
love Japan for, though, is that they are just...
And I'm not making a general... I mean, I guess
I am making a generalization here, but it's a
positive one. They are the most respectful competitors.
Like... There's no drama. If they lose, they
will happily congratulate the winning team with
a smile on their face. It's not like this American
culture of like shame when you lose. It's like,
well, we all tried our best and we didn't come
up. We came up short. We don't want participation
trophies. We'll get you next year, but actually
congratulations. How often is the baseball like
World Series? The World Baseball Classic, I believe,
is every three years. I could be wrong, but I
believe it's every three because the last one
was in 2023. and this one was 2026. Aaron Judge
was good until the final. We lost to Venezuela.
The big controversy with the USA, which is hysterical,
because I think this actually is good content
for the podcast. World Baseball Classic, every
other country that's involved in it, you have
everybody. There's like Taiwan, Italy, Venezuela.
Obviously, England does have a team. They do
have a team. They're usually one of the first
ones to get eliminated. They're like cricket
teams. Czechia has a team. There's so many fucking
teams. Most of these countries, there's no NBA.
What about China? China, I don't believe, is
in it. I could be wrong. I don't think that China
had a team. But all these other countries, every
country with the exception of the USA, takes
it incredibly seriously. I think in Puerto Rico
and the Dominican Republic, 60 % of the population
was watching every game the last time they did
it. More than half of the population. of your
entire island is watching this game like it's
such a big deal to them like um actually when
we were in puerto rico i was talking to cc's
family they ran out of blonde hair dye because
all the puerto rican players dyed their hair
blonde you could not buy blonde hair dye or bleach
for your hair anywhere on the entire island everywhere
was sold out because so many people want yeah
and it's fucking it's fucking unbelievable it's
it's it's really really cool there Here's what
the USA did. We were 3 -0 in pool play, as was
Italy, which nobody thought they were going to
be good. Everybody calls Italy just New Jersey.
It's all the New Jersey players because the majority
of the players are MLB players who were born
in Jersey to Italian parents, so they play for
Italy. Parental citizenship qualifies you to
play for another country. Most of Italy's players
grew up and were born in... like new york oh
but so usa is three and oh they go into their
game against italy again who's three and oh and
they're like yeah well we already clinched last
night when we beat fucking uh canada i think
it was which canada's not good at baseball sorry
um we're like yeah we know we clinched so we
were all just drinking beers in the dugout everybody's
having a great time we're looking forward to
the playoffs Then I don't know if the reporter
corrected them, but the media was very quick
to correct the manager of like, you guys didn't
clinch. Like if Italy beats you, which they did,
they won against us. And then it became Italy
and Mexico. The U .S. would have been eliminated
if Italy didn't win or if Mexico had to score
five runs and get a win for the U .S. to win.
And Mexico was a three run favorite. Like if
the game went the way it was supposed to, the
USA would have been eliminated. And then we play
Venezuela, which was not a team that anybody
thought was going to be a power. I mean, they
played really well. I'm not discounting them,
but we lost to Venezuela in the finals. We had
a team with every one of the best players in
the MLB pretty much. And we lost to a team that
some of the positions I believe were inhabited
by players that aren't even in the MLB. They
literally had a miracle on ice. Except we were
the bad guys. And we got beat in Miami on our
home turf. It was pretty fucking embarrassing.
Like, Aaron Judge went 0 for 4 with three strikeouts.
Like, it was bad. It was really, really fucking
bad. But you know what wasn't bad? Team USA beating
Canada in the Olympics. That was fucking awesome.
That was pretty cool, brother. That was fucking
great. Free bird, yeah! Fuck you, Canada! Fuck
you, Canada! Ken is out here fucking trying to
say that they're gonna beat us in this shit.
Oh, boy. Yeah, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were the better team. Fuck, I hated that
fucking shit. Yeah, you could actually see who
the better team was. Yeah, fuck you, Nathan McKinnon.
Shut the fuck up, you crybaby bitch. You could
see who the better team was. Like, I'm not gonna
say who the better team was, but... Look at the
stats. Yeah, I see the big fucking stat. Three,
two, USA, Canada. We fucking won. What color
is your fucking medal, Nathan McKinnon? Suck
my fucking cock. Yeah, guess what? Fucking, you
got my boy. My fucking boy. You're such a fucking
Canadian. Why do you play in fucking Colorado,
bitch? You got my man, Jack Hughes, who lost
teeth but gained gold. Oh, I got to show you.
My brother did a painting of that that's sold.
Oh, that's awesome. Dude, he fucking went all
out with it. It was pretty wild. Dude, Jack Hughes
is a fucking American hero. And so is Hellebeck.
There it is. Oh, fuck. It was right there. Dude,
Hellebeck's fucking sick. That man got the fucking
Secretary of Defense seal. I thought that was
really funny when he went to the White House.
Where the fuck is it? Nope, not that one. My
man Jack Hughes. Also, Quinn Hughes is just seeing
fucking ghosts. I think that's a fucking hysterical
meme. That's almost done there. Dude, that's
sick. Your brother's a fantastic artist. I know
he is. It's fucking unbelievable. How can you
not be patriotic looking at that? That's such
a good picture. Fucking missing teeth. Here it
is. He added more shading and everything. That's
so good, dude. He is fucking nuts. He uses a
little projector for like the outlines of everything.
And then he does all the detail work without
it. That's awesome. So like, just to make sure
it's like accurate to the picture he's trying
to replicate, but he's not derivative of it really.
Like he adds his own spin to it. He's the thing
that I noticed most about my brother's artwork
is he has his own sense of like, He has his own
distinct style, which is really, really fucking
cool. Didn't he make you, like, a little peep
one that you got? Yeah, he made me a very small
little peep one because I've been telling him,
like, I want one from you, like, an original
for the longest time. I'm going to say someone's
going to piss Casey off. I am getting one from
him of Max Verstappen. That French fuck, as he
calls him, even though he's a Dutch driver. He
gets beaten by Max Verstappen in F1 and Casey
gets very upset sometimes. Yeah, fuck that guy.
He's a fucking asshole. I'm excited for Forza
Horizon 6. I thought Forza Horizon 5 was good.
I just didn't like the location. Mexico is just...
It didn't have the same vibe that the other places
had. The thing is, I like Forza, like the standard
Forza, but I like driving on roads. Driving on
roads I feel like is a lot cooler for me personally.
I think Gran Turismo is a better gameplay -wise.
But I think that Forza Horizon is so much more
fun because you get to actually drive on streets.
Well, they're different games. You're trying
to accomplish different tasks with them. So,
like, I like arcade racers like Forza too. And
I don't say that as, like, a derogatory thing.
Because, I don't know, the thing I'm starting
to realize the more I get into this rabbit hole
that I'm going down is that the sim racing community
is very elitist. Yeah. Like, very much so. Like,
you get shit on for not using, like, a top, top
of the grades steering wheel. Like, if your setup
costs less than, like, $7 ,000, people are going
to rip on you, bro. I bought a $30 Ferrari wheel.
Yeah. Yeah. That thing probably does. I know
the one you bought. It doesn't even have force
feedback. No, it's just a fucking wheel. It's
just a wheel. And like the, the main purpose
behind a steering wheel. It's like, I got a wheel
that offers force feedback. I'll be at very minimal.
It's a gear driven system. The best ones are
direct drive, which literally it's like, just,
it's like fucking, um, I don't even know how
to describe it. Like this dynamo unit. You put
like, mount bolted to like a fucking rig for
the thing and it has like nine newtons of force
in each way like there's instances of people
like my favorite sim race that i like watching
his name's ucog actually you guys might know
him as ucog monkey he set a bunch of world records
on guitar hero back in the day oh yeah i think
he just went by monkey though like he went by
ucog monkey now he just goes by ucog he took
monkey off his name but he he broke a finger
not too long ago because He was in a race and
somebody on the formation lap, which is like,
you're not racing. You're just, you're going
around the track just to warm your tires up.
And it's like, it's like, it's a parade. Like
you need to stay in line with the cars. And somebody
just either disconnected or was being an asshole
or floored it by accident. And they slammed into
the back of his car. And his direct drive steering
wheel had so much force that his thumbs were
in the loops and it fucking broke like his pinky
or something. That's because the wheel fucking
jerked so hard. Like if you crash a car, you'll
see sim drivers that have powerful enough direct
drives. Like when they know they're like going
into a wall, they go like this. They go like
this. They take their hands off because you watch
the steering wheel and it violently clicks whenever
it's like. Like, I don't know if I'm going to
get that into it, but I'm getting off track.
Arcade racers are a ton of fun because you don't
need to know breaking zones. You don't need to
memorize the tracks you're on to do good. You
can casually play them and they're a fucking
ton of fun. If you make one, if you like tink
a wall, nothing, you could slam as hard as you
wanted to in somebody in Forza and your car might
look cosmetically different, but your car won't
drive any different. Yeah. I racing and like
to a lesser extent, Gran Turismo are much more
realistic where like, If you're not taking extra
care to know every facet and bump of the tracks
you're on, know the exact gearing ratios of your
car, knowing like keeping a careful eye on your
fuel and tires and the temperatures and everything
like things can get out of hand really quickly.
But like, I fucking love Forza. Forza is so fun.
It's just like, I'm going to send it 400 miles
per hour into this turn. intentionally ping pong
off of another car so i can retain speed into
the next corner and get in first by like the
first corner and then just rip it and start drifting
and doing fun and the progression in forza games
is so fun too like that little fucking dopamine
loop whenever you win a race yeah where it's
like shows you crossing in first gives you the
times here's how many credits you earned here's
the races you unlocked like that shit's just
uncurable dopamine loop. I, I personally, I like
the free drive aspect of Forza. Just like the
open world. Yeah. Just, just driving around.
Like, cause I love driving like this in real
life too. Yeah. But like just driving around
like in like a fast car that you're never going
to be able to afford in real life. You're just
like, this is sick. Yeah. I feel awesome. No,
it's fucking awesome. And the cars are very easy
to drive. So it's just like, it's, it's fucking.
fun the youtube videos i've been getting into
lately there's this guy who has like a thirty
thousand dollar like sim rig and he'll go into
i don't know what he uses for i think it's beam
ng which is like a fairly realistic sim for like
physics not necessarily racing physics but he'll
go into a lobby and he'll give himself a task
of like picking up like making four deliveries
or something and he has to like return to the
place And then he'll have like 20 real life.
players playing as cops trying to hunt him down
and it's hysterical like and you're just watching
him like his his evasion skills are unbelievable
he knows this car so well like he'll juke the
fuck out and then like it cuts away to the cops
like their views of them just like obliterating
one another like trying to chase them they can
communicate with one another too dispatch he's
coming yeah and they'll just be like oh yeah
no i think i got him over here and he can get
like upgrades too but they don't know what the
upgrades are until he gets them when he makes
the delivery so like he might be able to color
swap his car and like a lot of the times he'll
try to blend in with the traffic and stuff i
don't know it's a lot of fun to watch because
his rig he has like a crazy rig setup too like
um a lot of the more expensive rigs have um um
platforms on the floor on all four corners of
your sim setups like if you are driving on like
a bank your sim setup will bank And that shit's
really cool to me. But you're talking tens of
thousands of dollars to achieve a sim like that.
I don't want a VR headset and a wheel. I like
I liked um you ever see the videos this one isn't
like guy doing sim set like this is just some
retard with a fucking fake steering wheel yeah
it's the guy who pretends to be like a dad like
driving on like the road and he's just like well
I'm driving on the road and then he just gets
fucking hit he's like I'm sorry god I'm sorry
oh fuck he just fucking smacks his face on the
steering wheel and he's just like I love those
hey kids you still alive oh oh and you see like
the fucking body just goes well Timmy's dead
okay i love those ones where i'll be going like
mach 10 in a bus down like a fucking sheer cliff
and i'll be like yep one day away from retirement
oh god oh please oh jesus take the wheel oh jesus
christ oh my god Yeah, and then just, like, fakes
being that. I do like... Most of those are BeamNG,
because the collision physics are, like... Are
fucking hysterical, too. Yeah, like, in most
racing sims, if you wipe your car out, it looks
more or less like a car, but BeamNG is, like...
It just turns into fucking scrap. Yeah, it's
even more so than in real life. It just turns
into mangled metal so quick. Those were a lot
of the brain rot videos I'd find myself watching.
It'll be like, how fast does this bus have to
go to cross this gap? And then it shows like
10 miles an hour quicker, seven minutes in and
it finally makes it. I like the, uh, I like the
ones where it's like the, uh, the steel coil
rolling down the hill. It's just like. 10 ,000
pound steel coil. And it's just going through.
How many buses can this 10 ,000 pound steel coil
go through? And I'm like, yo, dude, how many
buses can it go through? Yo, if there was anybody
in that bus, they'd be so fucking dead right
now, man. I fall prey to fucking retard brain
rot all the time. It's just comfort food for
your brain. I had to delete social media for
it. I mean, I just reinstalled Instagram today.
I can't remember why. I deleted my Snapchat.
Facebook sucks. Literally. Literally on Snapchat,
I just fucking, I did not use it for like three
months. Like, I didn't even open the app. Yeah.
And I was like, why do I even have this app on
my phone? I literally can't go on Facebook without
every time I open it, seeing a picture of that
stupid fucking orange fuck. Every time I refresh
it, it's a fucking orange fuck. Well, no, I don't
want to see him. I would rather just forget about
you. But your algorithm is contrary to what the
algorithm thinks you want to see. I don't see
Donald Trump on my algorithm at fucking all.
I see hockey. I see my friends. I see the Rangers,
like groups that I'm in. I see, what else do
I see on there? I see sabers, endurance racing,
and occasionally porn. And I don't know where
the porn comes from, because like I said, I don't
engage with it. I don't fucking use porn, so
I don't understand it. But I was a left -hand
jerker back in the day. You were a left -hand
jerker. Yes. And that was a skill that was required
and asked of me. I get a lot of Resident Evil,
just random page football, Subaru. That's a sick
-looking car, too. What the fuck? Is that a WRX?
Yes, it's a new WRX. All righty. But, like, I
follow Subaru Motorsport, like, USA, which is,
like, the rally team for Subaru. Yeah. And that's,
like, I know how you like F1. I can fucking sit
there and watch fucking motocross, like, fucking,
like, Subaru motocross fucking for hours. You
mean, like, rally racing? Rally racing, yeah.
I enjoy watching rally racing a lot. I guess
the real form of autism that I've been noticing
lately is before I was just astonished that drivers
could compete in like 24 -hour races. I'm really
not that into F1 this year because F1 had a...
A major regulation changed this year where half
of the power of your car comes from the internal
combustion engine, and half of it comes from
a battery, and the battery can recharge and deplete
over the course, like, several times in a single
lap. So it's just fucking Mario Kart. It's just
cars overtaking one another because they decide
when to use their boost button. It's fucking,
like, really stupid. The drivers can't even stand
it. They're like, this isn't real racing. It's
just battery management simulator. Like, it's
not even, like, fucking real. real i remember
when i first played f1 with you and you're like
i'm like where's the nos bro i'm like that's
fucking gay yeah and then i told you about drs
which is which already was controversial in f1
because it brought what some people seemed as
an um unfair advantage because rather than just
being pure performance on the track of your car
and the driver If you're within one second at
a DRS detection point, which is usually a turn
before a long straight, you would get DRS upon
that straight, which opens the rear spoiler of
the vehicle and gives you like an extra 20 horsepower
to close the gap. And that was already controversial.
Most people eventually loved it though, because
it didn't impact the cars that much. Like there
was still a major skill element involved. So
like. it's not like DRS was an automatic overtake.
You could be on DRS for somebody for three laps
and still not be able to make a move on them.
Like if they were outperforming you, but this
shit fucking sucks. World, world endurance racing
is my shit because dude, I don't like watch.
I don't like looking at the, um, like, I mean,
if I can rip 12 hours of an endurance race in
a single day and actually pay attention, I will.
Cause I think it's really cool. They're driving
through the driver steps. You see the drama between
the drivers. You see how the cars differ when
they take like stints and everything. Like they
swap out for their teammates, but. And it's just
incredible that they keep a car running around
a track going 300 miles an hour or like 220 miles
an hour for fucking 24 hours. Like that's unbelievable
to me that there's a piece of machinery that
can fucking do that. And I hate NASCAR racing.
NASCAR racing is for fucking retards. I don't.
So here's the thing is like, I used to say that
about like, I mean, I liked NASCAR as a kid and
while I don't enjoy it anymore, I don't enjoy
sim racing it. I find watching the only time
I like, NASCAR is when fucking Frankie Muniz
is in it. I think he is, to my knowledge. He
is. I know he was in the... the runner up series
to it, which is essentially like the minor league.
He's driving in an ass car. It's like the Xfinity
series or something. It's like the one down from
like the chase for the cup. I've been watching
Malcolm in the middle again. That's it's just
very funny to me that he's like, dude, have you
read his Twitter? It's one of the funniest fucking
things on the planet. The dude has had like eight
strokes. Oh, geez. He's fucking like on one of
the Twitter things that I read that he did. It
was fucking hysterical. He just goes, he goes,
I had a dream where I got shot in the dream and
then I woke up and I could still feel the bullets
inside me. Oh, the pain. And I'm like, bro, what?
See a fucking therapist, bro. I just, I don't
know. I don't remember filming Malcolm in the
middle because of my strokes. Oh my God. Jesus
Christ, man. Kyle likes oval racing a lot. He
was trying to get me into it. Cause that's what
he does when him and Sean, when, when him and
beep is sim race. It's way more in -depth than
just occasionally turning left, but it doesn't
look like it is. No. It's like you need to know
what line to be in, and you're running three
wide. It requires an insane amount of precision
and focus, and just especially spatial awareness,
more so than other forms of racing. I don't want
to say especially, but more so the other things,
but spatial awareness is more of a factor in
NASCAR and oval racing. But like, to me, it's
just fucking boring, bro. Like, it's not like,
I like the intricacies of the track. Like you
needing to know the exact, like every bump of
the track, knowing breaking points and shit.
Like, cause to me, when I learned a new track,
like I was teaching myself Watkins Glen over
the last couple of days, I finally got Watkins
down. watkins glenn down in one car but if i
drove it in another car i would have to completely
relearn the track like obviously i know where
the turns are but like the braking points and
the racing lines and all this shit like it's
it's so fucking in depth but when you start to
get it and you, like, practice in, like, on your
own, like, just doing, like, time trials and
shit, and then you go online, and you fucking
annihilate everybody by, like, 45 seconds, like,
going 7 seconds faster a lap than anybody else
on the track in an online lobby full of 19 other
real people, that shit feels electric. Like,
you just feel like you're on crack cocaine. Do
you ever see the Kurt Busch fucking memes? It's
so fucking funny. No. Like, he just... I got
to pull up. I got to pull up the fucking F1 equivalent
of that. Now it'll take me two seconds. It's
this guy named George Russell. Yeah. Every fucking
week I ate my job. It sounds like me and Ellie
not crashing out fucking zombies. It is. It's
you trying to tell me, like, hey, can you open
this door for me? Fuck no! I don't even want
to fucking play this game! The fucking game is
trash! Casey's out here fucking being like, yo,
I have to do, like, the fucking 15 steps to do
this fucking Easter egg. Hey, can you guys hold
a zombie for eight fucking years for me real
quick? I gotta watch this Mr. Waffle Waffles
video. I do the fucking Easter egg at a record
time. You guys are like, I can't. I can't get
used to the zombie for two seconds. Well, no,
but Casey, when you're the one guarding the zombies,
I don't know how to describe this to you. It
gets awful. Time feels like it's moving in slow
motion. It's fucking horrible. Well, maybe you
should learn the Easter egg and then you can
do it. So this is George Russell. This guy's
like a fucking tattletale rule follower kind
of driver. Fucking nerd. And he gets told to
lower his brake temperatures when he has a faster
car behind him and he just crashes out on his
engineer. So rear surface temperatures are sky
high. George, let's get these under control.
Marcus, I've got a car in my ass, okay? A car
much quicker than ours. I'm trying the whole
position. I've got much more pace than Kimi here.
We can fight for a podium. I'm happy to give
the position back. He's trying to get his team
to let him pass his teammate. My tires are just
getting sacked here. Understood. Understood.
I just thought it's like, hey, we just got to
get your brake temperatures down. I got a fucking
car on my ass here. It's way fucking... After
that, me. Is that fucking Verstappen? No, that
was George Russell. French fuck. That was George
Russell. You wouldn't know him because when we
play our two -player career, you and I race for
Mercedes. So we erased him and his teammate from
existence when we started playing. Oh, cool.
So, yeah, George Russell and Kimi Antonelli are
gone. There's some really good ones of Kimi Raikkonen,
though, who is this... He was this Finnish driver
that was just, everybody called him Iceman because
he never fucking, like, he was so, like, he'd
do the press conferences after the races and
they'd be like, hey, Kimi, like, what are your
thoughts on, do you think that you will be faster
in qualifying tomorrow than your opponents? And
he'd be like, I hope so. Samir, you have to listen
to me. Samir, you are breaking the car. Samir,
Samir. Please listen to me. Oh, God, Samir. Triple
caution. Triple caution, right? Triple caution.
Oh, Samir, shut the fuck up. Yeah, everybody
says, can you shut up? I think that that's fake.
You have to listen to me. I think that that was
dubbed over, which broke my heart because I thought
that was real for the longest time. Samir, what
are you doing? I sent that to my roommate the
second I saw that back in the day. It was like,
this is fucking you when you... Never mind. That's
not for the podcast. I can't say that. You have
to listen to me, Xavier. Oh, my God. Driver crashouts
are the best. Kimi Raikkonen and his, like, Finnish
accent. Hey, Kimi, we have received a 10 second
time penalty. He goes, for what? And they're
like, we have received. No, he's Finnish, but
he almost sounds like he is. He's like, 10 second
time penalty, Kimi. He's like, for what? What
did I do? Are the Mercedes guys actually German?
Like the team, like people? I mean, it's a German
team. And I believe the owner, I mean, not the
owner, the team principal is German, but their
driver, they have one British driver and one
Italian driver. weird i mean you don't the teams
aren't really like national i mean like certain
teams will try to have americans like colton
hurta is an f2 driver and a imsa weather tech
endurance racer but uh does ford have an f1 i
don't think ford does not have an f1 team however
they took over engine production of the red bull
racing team this year um from honda so they're
the only ones who use the ford power unit and
it fucking sucks first happens like debating
leaving f1 because he's like this sport sucks
and so does my car and engine so like i don't
know if i want to keep doing it is there any
american making models that are in f1 so there
is so has is an american team by uh yeah oh damn
But Gene Haas, who is the co -owner of Haas Stewart
Racing with Tony Stewart for NASCAR, he has a
team. And then Cadillac is new this year, so
they suck balls. But they're an American team,
too. That's awesome. Welcome Dan to the podcast.
Welcome Dan. Daniel Delaney has walked into the
building. Damn, that's fucking awesome. You got
another one? Yeah, you just have to rinse it
out. Or you can use this one, actually. Yeah,
we're just passing it around. This is fucking
awesome. We're all going to get fucking RSV from
Dan. I know, dude. I don't have it, but you never
know. You could be incubating. Right, right.
You could be a little fucking incubator to get
us all killed. You don't have an extra one, Casey?
Dan, there is an extra one. Yeah, let me get
an extra one just because of what he just said.
It's in the... There's one in the bag. Just because
I got something going around my house. So, Dan,
you showed up in time for Jeopardy. You two are
both going to have to compete against Casey.
I have a board that I think is going to be somewhat
competitive. I didn't make it. So some of the
questions are good. Half of them seemed really
easy. Half of them seemed like hyper -specific
knowledge that we're just not going to get. But
I don't know. I feel like that's kind of how
it goes usually. Yeah, I'm looking forward to
it. I haven't been watching Jeopardy. So I feel
like when you're watching it a lot, you're like,
You're locked in. Yeah. You can just pull random
access memories from your brain. Yeah. Hell yeah.
Tyler, you got a jab going on about you. I'm
getting my haircut tomorrow. Is that what it
is? Yeah. R .I .P. my granny. She got hit by
a bazooka. I think about her every time I hit
the hookah. Is that a song? Kaboom. Is this recording?
Yeah. Your mic isn't. I think it's just a super
low mic. We can just share this one. I'll just
yell from a distance back here. It's alright.
I think so. Does he even wear them? Yes, he does.
Unfortunately. Oh yeah. What the fuck? Did you
say, oh, she dead? That was a while ago. That
was a while ago. Welcome back to Untold Podcast.
Is this the door? Will you repair my door? Yeah.
Sorry we had a Sopranos ending there at the end.
The 10 second fade to black. I almost just wiped
out my computer. Yeah, Casey almost just nuked
the entirety of the podcast. Did you lose any
of it? No. So, Dan, you got a call this week?
Someone unexpected? God damn it, Casey. Bro,
so I'm outside working on something, on a project,
right? And my phone rings and it says Anaheim,
California. And I'm like, eh, this looks like
a real number. I'll pick it up. this guy is like
hi is this uh i don't know if he said my name
but he goes this is mark rubenstein with convert
to judaism .com and uh he goes uh you set up
a consultation with us and i just hung up i was
like fucking casey god damn it dude calls me
right back right and i'm just like oh man i gotta
face this because this this guy's gonna keep
calling so i said hello And he's like, hi, this
is Mark Rubenstein with ConvertToJudaism .com.
You set up a consultation. And a little more
Jew -y voice than that. I can't really do it.
This is Mark Stevenson from ConvertToJudaism
.com. Exactly like that. Exactly like that, actually.
And I was like, so I'm like, fuck, this guy sounds
so nice, though. I was just like, would you like
to talk about nosies with me? I am not affiliated
with this fucking skit at all. I just had to
play the victim. I was like, oh, you know what?
I think somebody's playing a prank on me. Oh,
well, I can tell you the, I can tell you the
email of who sent it. It was. untitledpodcast73
at gmail .com. And I was like, I said, yeah,
yup, I definitely know who did it. I'm going
to have a chat with them. And then I said, I
don't think this is funny at all. Neither do
I. Not funny. Okay, okay. Have a nice day. I
don't think this is funny at all, actually. You
know what? You have a good day, sir. Exactly.
He's going to find this. You should have recorded
it. He knows what our podcast is. Well, no. It's
one of the untitled podcasts. He doesn't know
which one it is. It's the best one. I want to
talk about this again because I feel like Dan
has some good opinions on this. Stupid people
outbreeding people. We are being outbreeded by
the fucking retards. Look, I have one fucking
baby. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm not good at Jeopardy,
but come on. I'm good at certain things. That's
exactly what I was going to say. If we go by
the number of Jeopardy wins here and number of
kids. It's kind of proven you're a Jew. Oh, you
sent us an email, too. It says, hello, Dan Delaney.
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your interests
and exploring Judaism. I personally view each
inquiry and would be honored to speak with you.
I didn't know you could convert. Oh, you can
convert to anything, can't you? Yeah, but I feel
like the Jews, I thought that was like a lockdown
kind of thing. You can choose what religion you
want to be. Damn, dude. Maybe I should. You know
what? Maybe I'll set up an actual consultation.
You should convert to Christianity. It was a
joke last time, but I'm here for real. You know
what? You actually changed my mind. Yo, we should
call him right now on the podcast. Alright, Mark
Cuban, you changed my mind. Mark Cuban? It's
Rubenstein. It's only 9 o 'clock in California.
It's only 9 o 'clock? Yeah, 9 .30. My name's
Mark Stevenstein. I actually am just finishing
up my bagel. I would like to talk to you about
Judaism. This is fucking horrible. really good
Jewish accent. I do not like how anti -Semitic
Oh, you should have heard. This is not anti -Semitism,
bro. You know, I actually don't That's a sick
Jew voice, bro. You know, I actually don't think
that Jesus was actually the Messiah. I think
that he wasn't even that good of a guy you should
have heard kyle do this for like three hours
one day we were writing this song about october
7th and he started doing the jew voice and he
just kept going with it for three fucking hours
i'm like dude stop yeah that's like a new york
city jew what tyler's doing all right this is
fucking no it's fucking from it's a south park
jew is what he's doing he's mimicking fucking
kyle's cousin yeah I do not condone any of what
just happened, if anybody ever listens to this.
So, you heard it here first, Ali Max supports
Israel in all their actions. I don't know, I
could get down with some of that. I don't even
know what Israel's done. I could get down with
some anti -Semitism. I can't. I think we shouldn't
go down that road. Get down with some anti -Semitism?
Yeah, I mean... Did you ever see the Super Bowl
commercial for the anti -Jew hate thing? That
was fucking hysterical. There's a kid that's
like walking by and then like he just goes up
to this Jewish kid's backpack and he puts a sticky
note on it and it says dirty Jew on it. And then
some black kid comes up and he puts a blue like
posting over and he goes, hey man, don't listen
to them. They don't know what they're talking
about. And it just said, stop Jewish hate. That
was the end of the commercial. That was in the
Super Bowl. Yeah, that was the Jewish commercial.
Yeah, I saw the idea. This week, they actually
kidnapped a baby and then used it. They burned
it with a cigarette to get his father to talk.
Wow. Yeah, so that's cool. You got to do what
you got to do sometimes. This is wild. I mean,
it's war. War is war, man. The Jewish boys be
doing some crazy shit. Those guys be crazy. But
also, I'm going to look at the Bible real quick.
These motherfuckers were in the desert for 40
years. Just imagine being Moses being stuck in
a desert with like a hundred complaining Jews
for 40 years. Oh my God. My eyes are getting
so dry. It's been years, Moses. I cannot believe
that you guys think that we're not getting canceled
right now. All three of you are engaging in this
right now. I'm not engaging in it. You just said
it was a good Jew voice. This is disgusting.
I am disgusted. Okay, Alimax. My eyes are getting
dry. Alimax pearl clutching over here. Dude,
you would... I just want to fucking... You're
telling me if you heard that... Why are there
so goddamn many Muslims around? You wouldn't
immediately know that that was a Jewish person?
No. Oh, but... Oh, okay. But so talk like Tony
Soprano, right? Oh, baby, bye, buddy. Oh, gobble
goo. Oh, you sound Italian. But you say, oh,
you sound like a Jew. It's not funny. One of
them is the country in which you develop the
accent from. The other one is a fucking religion
that is... Are you fucking kidding me? These
motherfuckers are from New Jersey. They're not
from a country that has that accent. They're
from fucking New Jersey. They have a fucking
Jersey accent, not an Italian accent. Yeah, they
have an Italian Jersey accent. What the fuck
are you guys fucking talking about? They're going...
You're taking a moral high ground. You're taking
a fucking human stance. I got to whack the guy.
Oh, geez. I dropped $5 on the ground. I better
pick it up. The funniest thing that I saw for
a Jewish video, though, is some guy. There's
a guy who's trying to convert people to Judaism.
And a guy walks up. He just goes, listen, if
you give me one penny, I will convert to Judaism
right now. And he goes, I can't find my penny.
I don't have any pennies on me. I don't know.
He's like, if you have one penny, I will convert
to Judaism right now. Dude, the Jews must have
been furious when they fucking stopped making
pennies. They'd be like, what the fuck? I made
most of my money off of that. Ali Mack's not
having this conversation. He's not about this
life. Ali Mack, if you saw what Israel was doing
in the news, you wouldn't care. I mean, it's
still, I just don't support attacks on a fucking
religion. And that's, that's, it just, this,
this whole thing is just fucking weird to me.
I'm not attacking the religion. It's weird. We
attack, we, I like point, I like pointing out
things that I disagree with, with Tyler and Christianity,
but I'm not making fun of him because he's a
Christian. We have senators in the United States
Senate. Yeah, I thought we did. That we're saying
Islamophobia is a good thing, that we should
be scared of Muslims. Okay, and we're doing the
same thing with the Jews on the podcast now,
I guess. That was Randy Fine, by the way, the
Florida guy. I don't know if you know this, but
the IDF has killed 66 ,000 people in Gaza. 75
,000 now. Yeah, they kind of open themselves
up for some jokes when you do that. I don't pay
attention to the news. So this just comes across
as very just fucking weird. All three of you
lumping in here. I will take the white knight
stance on this one. I'll fucking do it. Allie
Mack's wrong again. Shit take, Allie Mack. Shit
take. If I can say one thing, Allie Mack knows
how to protect his bank account. Who? I wish
I fucking could. Who? I wish I fucking could.
I have a kid. You think I'm fucking protecting
my bank account? I don't have a child. See, we
don't have any kids yet, but Allie Mac is worried
because he's got a kid on the way. He's like,
I gotta take it easy now. Mr. Finkelstein's gonna
come for my bank account. No, no, I have always
had, I've never, ever since, like, people that
we know in our personal lives found out about
this thing. I mean, I'll happily take a hit of
the hookah. I'm not saying I hate you as people.
I'm just saying that this is a fucking weird
arc we took right here. Yeah. Because a couple
episodes, it was all fucking, everybody was on
the same page of like, all right, like, some
people of every religion are weird, but now it's
like, ah, the Jews, ha ha, pennies, yeah, they
can't give you one, ha ha, oh, I still like,
they're the flavor of the week, okay? A lot of
the Orthodox traditional Jews are protesting
Israel because they don't believe in violence.
Are those the ones that wear the stupid hats?
Holy shit. Holy shit. They don't want to go to
war with Muslims. No, no. I'm not talking about
the yarmulke. I'm talking about the stupid hats
that look like there's a cat. I know. You get
all tight when we bring up anything about your
religion, though. The second we start talking
about a fucking yarmulke, then everybody gets
all tight. Dude, you fucking have a guy, like
an old guy, that dresses in robes like Harry
Potter cosplay, and he blesses people and does
magic. I'm just saying, you're making fun of
people who live in this country. Some guy who's
working an honest job trying to convert people
to his religion. And he's not over there in fucking
Gaza or Palestine or Israel or wherever the fuck
the people you guys don't like are from. And
here we are taking the hate out on the people.
I mean, no, these are the motherfuckers. These
are the motherfuckers who run Hollywood and run
the pedophile ring. But the fucking Joe Schmoe
calling fucking Danny. No, dude, he's part. He's
part of the fucking church! He's part of the
group! What are you talking about? He's out here
being like, Epstein was right! No, it's generalizations!
You're fucking making mad generalizations. That's
all I'm saying. It's fucking weird. Dan, you
fucked this mic up. Dude, I didn't fuck anything
up. What did you do to the base of this thing?
I don't know, I was trying to open it up. Dan,
have you ever smoked crack? No. Dude, I've never
done any hard drugs. Contrary to popular belief.
It's a vitamin B1. I wish that I had tried cocaine.
You've done steroids. I've done steroids. I thought
about doing them again today. You just have a
vial around? I do, yeah. How many? Testosterone,
cipionate. I have one. Unopened vial that's expired.
I have another vial that is open and I was looking
at it today and I could literally see the bacteria
floating in it. You're like, I can inject that.
I'm not going to inject that. I kind of want
to drop my T levels so I can just get fucking
TRT. That would work. And then just fucking juice
myself up for the rest of my life. You could,
but... I'll say it's a slippery slope, dude,
because you get that initial, like, Oh yeah.
Like dude, girls perfume. Like when I first started
TRT, I would walk by a girl in the hospital and
yeah, I would smell perfume. I'd be like, it's
like the shark and finding me. Yeah. Oh yeah.
Oh, baby, yeah. So it makes you like a horn dog?
Oh, yeah, dude, yeah. Dude, what if you went
to a strip club when you were on T, dude? I feel
it, dude. I used to go to the strip club and
I feel like my testosterone was already too high
because I had hyperthyroidism and that like regulates
your other hormones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's
like the governor on your body. Well, so like
your testosterone is already through the roof,
dude. I literally would just, I had such a light
trigger, like just from strippers grinding on
me. I'd come in my pants. What about like the
stripper smell good? Oh yeah. Some of them, some
of them don't smell so good. Oh dude. Yeah. Or
they have like Doritos on their breath. But no,
dude, on test, like, you know how like when in
a video game, when you lock onto something with
a missile, it's like, it was like that with women.
Like you just see one and like something in your
brain would just like lock on. Oh yeah, dude,
that could get you in trouble. You know, you
gotta, it sounds good. Did you balance it with
estrogen? So I didn't take enough where that
would be a problem. Because it starts to spill
over into estrogen if you have too much tests.
That's where people get the gynecomastia. Yeah.
Titties. No, the problem is it feels really good
at first, and then those effects start to wear
off. So it's like every drug. It's like every
drug, dude. And the problem is you're like, oh,
well, I'm taking it once a week. Maybe I'll try
every two days. And then I'll try it every day.
And then I'll try it every day. And then you're
like, you know what? Maybe I'll try a higher
dose every day. And then you're looking into
like mega dose and test. And you're like, you
know what? I think I need anivore. And it's just
like, okay, this is ridiculous. Like it's a slippery
slope. Just like any drug. Like you said, as
soon as you get off roids, you just fucking deflate
too. Yeah. Yeah, dude. And it's like, when you
cycle off of them, you feel like such shit. For,
like, a week. Like, depending on how long you're
on them. I was only on it for three months trying
it out. Did you see, like, any, like, improvement
with muscle mass, though? Yeah. Oh, yeah. My
leg muscles got bigger. My pecs got bigger. Shoulders,
I'm guessing? Yeah. Yeah. Upper body got bigger.
Like, really, the muscles you can feel on the
sides of your legs noticeably bigger. I also
held a lot of water, though. I did not like that.
Because, like you said, your estrogen goes up.
So, I don't know, dude. How did you crash your
T -levels to do that though? Because I was over
-exercising. I would like, dude, I'd jump rope
for a half hour and then go run for like an hour
and then do push -ups, pull -ups, like my whole
- So you'd crash all your fucking level? Dude,
every day. And on top of that, I was eating one
meal a day. So it's like you're not getting enough
calories. I was shredded and I was just over
-exercising. Bro, I think it was 198 my test
was. Goddamn. Yeah, dude. That's like... That's
like 70 -year -old man level. Oh, yeah. That's
rough. So I got a legit script for it. I could
have stayed on it for life, but dude, it kind
of feels fucking gay. Injecting shit in your
butt. Yeah. It's like, this is fucking lame,
dude. But I mean, at least you don't have to
get it from a locker room goblin. Yeah. At least
it was legit. Like, locker room goblins, they're
always there, man. Like, you can go to fucking,
like, any gym at any time of day. There's a locker
room goblin. Yeah, I've never really noticed.
You never noticed locker room goblins? No. Dude,
there's fucking one that haunts my gym. Like,
he's always wearing a fanny pack. You know it's
in the fanny pack. Oh, shit. But, like, he's,
like, he's there, like, every other hour, it
seems like. Like, he's, like. Or he has like
appointments like where he just kind of like
sits there or he sits in the sauna for a little
too long. Oh, wow. And like shit. And you're
just like, what you doing, my guy? He's like,
hey, you looking to get big? I'm like. that's
crazy i've never noticed that you never had you
never had a locker room goblin i've never noticed
bro really i think because i always had ways
to get my shit i didn't like need i wasn't like
fiending for it yeah you know dude but there's
locker room goblins that like that are like haunt
like the local gym over here no like like there's
a there's there's there's two that i that i am
aware of that are that are like locker room goblins
wow i also love that that's the official term
for them is locker room goblins dude that's the
first time i'm hearing this dude i Locker room
goblins are awesome. You think they hang out
at Planet Fitness? I don't know if they hang
out. I know at the powerlifting gyms and stuff,
they hang out there. But locker room goblins,
I think, if you want roids, you'll find a locker
room goblin. Yeah, yeah. I don't, I, I, I never,
I, I thought about taking steroids before, but
I never like fully pulled the trigger and I don't
think I ever will. But like, it's just one of
those things where I'm like, I might want to
do steroids eventually. But yeah, I mean, God,
dude, it depends on what you mean by steroids.
Like if you're talking about like hormone replacement,
like that's when you get to a certain age, you're
just not going to make tests like you use. Yeah.
Like, dude, I'll probably, when I turn like 50,
55, maybe 60, I'm going on TRT. Like, then at
that point, you're just replacing what you don't
make. But when you're talking about, like, you
know, Anavar, Diana Ball, like, all that shit.
HT, you know, all that shit. Bro, that fucking
fries people's brains. Like. Dude, they turn
into fucking psychopaths. Bro, they fucking murder
their girlfriends and shit. Like, it's not good.
Dude, fucking. It's not good. Steroids. Like,
the only drug that I was interested in was steroids.
right like genuinely like like i i thought about
like psychedelics and stuff but like the only
one that like i genuinely was like i may have
done my i may do that like like i don't even
think like now i would want to do steroids because
like i'm almost 30 it's it's kind of past the
point where like i'd want to do steroids but
like that was like the only drug that i'm like
steroids is probably the only one that i'd want
to do that doesn't get you high though i don't
want to get high casey i want to fucking get
huge i'm fucking gay i want to turn into a fucking
freak beast dude there's i mean there i just
sent this picture my brother because we were
talking about peptides yeah he's like yeah i
dude i did steroids before and he's like i'm
42 now i just want to do like peptides so he's
trying some peptides your brother's still a jehovah
witness no oh god no no my brother's that whatever
the opposite of a jehovah's witness is like that's
what that's what he is No, just like, I can't
even, I get it. He is, he's out of control. Fucking
Jehovah's didn't see anything? Yeah. So this
guy, this is a girl I went to high school with.
Jehovah's bystander. And this is her husband
who's a cop. Like, tell me, tell me. Oh, brother's
on fucking all the roids. He's on all the gear,
dude. Yeah, dude, that guy's on gear. So would
you consider SARMs like diet steroids? Because
I've heard that. Um, I mean, dude, it's just
the selective androgen receptor modulator. So
it's like, it's just changing the receptor, right?
Yeah. So it's not really like you're adding hormones
in. Yeah. But like, it's still, it's still enhanced.
Yeah. You know what, dude? I think, I think like
20 years in the future, a lot of people are going
to be on hormones, dude. It's going to be the
fucking norm. I genuinely think there's a comedian
who said it, but I agree with it. Professional
athletes should be on steroids. You think they
should? Let's push it to the fucking limit. Let's
fucking... No, I... Let's make it... Let's redline
everyone and just see what happens. In a modified
class. Yeah. Like, have the regular class. And
have, like, the fucking freak beasts. Yeah. I
mean, I think there'd have to be some limits
to it because people push themselves to death
by trying crazy shit. It's for the game, bro.
Bro, you... yo so if you did that right say it
was like safety off there's uh what's that fucking
that one that limits myosin or whatever it's
like there's a certain fucking breed of cow that
has this so your your muscles naturally have
like a chemical that limits how big they can
grow yeah and it like blocks that So it's like
unlimited dude. And they look like clouds. I
think that that's like probably the nastiest
fucking steroid dude. You would see some superhuman
shit going on. I want to see somebody lift up
a fucking truck over their head. Like I want
to see like, I want to see fucking dudes that
are like out of their fucking minds, like roided
out and then just play professional sports. Dude.
Oh, what is this shit called? Hold on a second.
Dude, just fucking. Have these motherfuckers
go nuts on this shit. Oh, yeah, dude. There's
shit out there that fucking... There's some shit
out there that'll straight kill you that people
take. But there's one that's related to TNT.
Like the actual chemical TNT. Like dynamite?
Yeah. Nitroglycerin? Yeah, it's related to it
somehow. But it'll literally... People take it
to speed up their metabolism through the fucking
roof. And it, like, literally will fucking kill
you. People die all the time taking it. Who do
you think, like, what do you, like, just imagine,
like, fucking football or MMA with, like, dudes
who are on safety off steroids. Oh, yeah. That'd
be fucking awesome. Some people would die, dude.
Dude, it'd be great. Yeah, I mean, they, like
I said, there's got to be some limits because.
Like, full -on fucking gladiator shit, dude.
Yeah. Like, dude, like, have these motherfuckers,
like. Dude, have gladiators all on fucking copious
amounts of steroids. That'd be fucking sick.
Doesn't matter how cool that would be. These
motherfuckers are fucking just ripping dudes
in half and shit. Dude, people wouldn't even
watch regular MMA. Dude, it'd be like, dude,
there's a lot of people who watch MMA because
they can't watch people murder each other. They
can't watch it? Yeah. What do you mean? Like
there's people who are like, like I can't legally
watch people kill each other. So this is the
closest I got. Oh yeah. What job can you not
legally watch people kill each other? Dude, MMA
was supposed to be, I was listening to Joe Rogan
yesterday. He said originally they wanted to
have it so fucking crazy. They would have like
moats with alligators and shit. That's awesome,
dude. That was the original plan for UFC. So
like UFC was supposed to be like gladiators.
Yeah, it was supposed to be nuts. I love armored
MMA. I've been getting really into armored MMA
where dudes are just like in full plate mail
with like swords and shit like beating the fuck
out of each other. And like they're taking like
the edges of the sword and just smashing their
fucking head in. Wow. It's crazy. Actual swords?
Like actual swords. Wow. What country? That's
in this country? Yeah, they have one in America.
They have one in Russia. The run in Russia is
fucking nuts. Wow. They also have bare knuckle
MMA in Russia. It's crazy. Dude, they're like
breaking people's jaws like every fucking match.
Wow. It's crazy. Why would you sign up for that?
You'd have to get paid a lot for me to do that.
It's also not even in the octagon. Oh, it's fine.
I feel like it picks us both up if we're in the
middle. All right, all right. I don't think it's
too bad. It's not even in the octagon. The octagon
is just fucking hay bales. Just scoot over a
little bit. It's a concrete floor, hay bales,
and then they're just bare -knuckle boxing. It's
fucking sick. Damn. Russians don't fuck around,
bro. They're fucking... So, Tyler, next time
I propose that we do a fucking match, chest boxing,
let's go. I'd beat you in the boxing, you'd beat
me in the chest. That's just what would happen.
We've got to have some ground rules. Is there
face shots? Can we do that? All right. Nothing
below the belt. That's obvious. No hair pulling.
What am I, a fucking girl? You could be. I don't
know. We'll find out during chest boxing. Bare
knuckle? I think it kind of takes the boxing
part out of it. That just sounds like a fist
fight. You're going to have to train. You guys
will double as the commentators, and one of each
of you will be our trainers. Dan will be my trainer.
Yeah, I think that's got me. I'm going to be
like, Casey, you better fucking beat him in the
chest now because I don't know what to tell you
if you start boxing. How hard can you actually
punch, Tyler? Is it going to knock me out? I
have knocked people out. Boxing gloves, though,
I'm not going to say I punch a fucking thing.
When you wear a boxing glove, you can punch way
harder just because of the amount of space. The
surface area of a boxing glove is just so much
more than a human fist. Do we do it in here or
outside? Because there's like poles that you
can run into here. Outside would probably be
better. On the fucking deck. The deck is the
ring. I cannot wait to commentate this. I advise
you not to do this, Casey, because I just don't
see what's in it for you. Like, you're just going
to face a box. Well, what's in it for Tyler?
You want to put $10 on it? Well, like, what?
Well, I'm just saying if you're... What I get
out of it is I get to punch a communist. Yeah,
like, you get to beat him in chess. Tyler doesn't
care if you beat him in chess. The way Tyler
views this is he just gets to fucking kick the
shit out of you. But I also get to punch him.
Yeah, but he's a boxer. He knows how to block.
He knows how to defend himself. Casey's like,
yeah, I know how to block. You just put your
hands like this, and then he can't hit you. He's
going to hit your body, and then he's going to
fucking hit you in the head. I think it would
be a good match. I want to see who wins. All
right. I mean, I want to see who wins, too. I
hope this happens. I just can't believe you're
doing it. So you both get five minutes on your
chess clock, but every two minutes it switches
between chess and boxing. Okay. How many rounds
does it go to? Ten? The one I watched, they could
do three rounds of each thing. But you could
just keep going until somebody wins. It only
took them like two or three rounds. Casey, how
many actual fights have you been in? Fights?
Like fist fights. I don't think I've been in
a fist fight. Oh, Jesus Christ. I just don't
think you're very much underappreciating the
art that's in a fight. Do patients count? Because
then I have. Do what? Do patients count? Yeah,
I guess. Casey's fought several 90 -year -old
women, so let's fight a boxer. No, I had this
one 10 -year -old that just fucked me up. Well,
if a 10 -year -old is fucking you up, I don't
see how this fucking boxing match bodes too well
for you, Casey. I think I have a lot of force
behind my punches. I feel like you could hit
me pretty goddamn hard. If I get a good punch,
I could knock Tyler out. You could rock me if
you caught me good, but I know how to block a
punch and you don't. As your trainer, I'm rooting
for you. I really hope you perform. I'm just
not optimistic. And I don't think it comes down
to you not being able to land a hit on Tyler.
I think Tyler's just going to know how to defend
better than you. Does Tyler know how to defend
the Queen's Gambit, Ellie Mac? For a checkmate?
No, but you're also not punching him in the gut
when you hit him with the Queen's Gambit. Okay?
I am going to hurt his fucking ego. He's never
going to recover. He knows that you're better
at chess than him. And I know he's better at
boxing, so I want to see him win. Okay, I'm willing.
Casey, we can keep talking in circles here. I'm
ready for it, and I will train you as best as
I can. Just fucking beat him in chess, please
God. You guys got to wear headgear. I'm worried
about your health. Do I need a mouth guard? You
obviously wear a mouth guard. I don't have a
mouth guard. You can buy one for $10 at fucking
Dick's. You're going to need a mouth guard. Otherwise,
he lands one. I'm breaking your teeth. They don't
wear headgear in regular boxing, though. I think
they did in chess boxing, actually. If you go
to a gym and box, you're wearing headgear. You
need to wear headgear. But like in the regular
fights. Yeah, we're not the regular fights, Casey.
You're not fucking Floyd Money Mayweather over
here, okay? Calm down over there, Mike Tyson.
Call me Magnus Carlson. Yeah, let's take Casey's
glasses off. Are you going to be able to see
him? Oh, yeah. I don't have any contacts. I have
two headgears, too. Is he going to be able to
see? He has glasses, too. I don't need to see.
I just need to see a blur. Yeah, I don't really
need to see that well in order to just hit him.
All right. All right. I'm so ready to commentate
this fight. I am so ready. I'm more excited.
Dan, do you know how chess works very well? No,
dude. Okay. I was hoping you could stress. I
was going to say, would you guys be able to commentate
chess or would you be like, oh, yeah. I can commentate
it, but I'm not going to see the overall running
of the game. I'm just going to be like, oh, it
looks like it's opening up the rook here. Casey,
Casey, Casey, how much do you weigh? I think
last trick was like 230. I'm like 230 as well.
So we're about the same weight. Is it heavyweight?
That's heavyweight, yeah. We're heavyweight boxers
at that point. We have a heavyweight bout on
our hands here. The first ever in Untitled Podcast.
I mean, it's not like Tyler's never played chess
before. He knows how to play chess. I do know
how to play chess. But the thing is that it is
like you've never boxed before. And in one of
the sports you get hit. The other one you don't.
That's all I'm trying to explain. That's it.
Yeah, but have you ever lost a coin to a pawn?
No. No, you tried to make me play VR chess with
you and you kept beating me and you're like,
oh, you'll get a hang of it eventually. I didn't
even know what the fuck you were doing. I just
kept losing. I've actually been training for
chess. I've been playing chess on this app. On
chess .com, actually. Fuck yeah. Me and Casey
played VR chess a decent amount. We played regular
chess at Quail. At Quail, yeah. Yeah, I played
Flush and Roulette at Quail. We played Flush
and Roulette at fucking Central, dude. Flush
and Roulette was one of my favorites. We should
do an episode where the whole time, it's not
the center focus of it, but we should do... I
invented that game. We should do a game of poker.
You ever play Flush and Roulette, Dan? No, what's
that? It's when you take a flush and you take
a die, and then you write down the number on
a piece of paper, and then you roll a dice, and
then you pull up... uh water in the flush or
you pull up air and then the syringe you're talking
about yeah yeah and then you and then you uh
you roll the dice and if you roll the number
like you can't see them pull it up like they
they hold like the the thing and they put it
into the cup with the water in it and you pull
it up so every time you do it it's like oh or
What do you mean, though? It's like Russian roulette,
but instead of getting shot, you get squirted
with water. We should play that right now. We
used to do that at Central all the time. We also
just used to shoot flushes at one another. No
roulette involved. Let's take a game with Jeopardy.
We'll take a pause and set Ellie back up here.
We'll be back. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, hell yeah.
You can just speed it up. All right. Here we
fucking go. I got a buzzer here. There's a buzzer
here. We got a fucking buzzer. Oh, yeah. Where's
your buzzer? Can you see? Oh, it's right here.
All right. Welcome to fucking Jeopardy, bitches.
I got sound effects this fucking time. I was
so bad at the game, they put me behind the scoreboard.
Will Casey remain undefeated in his, however,
short run? Or will Tyler continue his dominance?
Or will Dan pull a sneaky one like he sometimes
does? Can we get the scoreboard here, Allie Mack?
All right, let me... No, no, I mean the scoreboard.
I think Tyler has 39 wins. No, I have 40. I just
hit 40 last time. Dan has 20. Okay. I got three.
I'm undefeated. I'm just going to turn that theme
down a little bit here while I figure out where
I'm going. I got the link for our thing here.
Guys, I didn't make this one. It seemed like
it seemed somewhat difficult, and there was a
couple gimmies, so I used it. I didn't make this,
though. You can turn that music off and play
the other one. I'm working on it. Casey, I'm
working on it. There's a learning curve. There's
a learning curve. I'm getting through it. All
right. So here we go. Oh, no, we just got both
now. All right. I should Ken Jennings and just
become the host. Here we go. All right, gentlemen.
So your... All right, let me get my scoreboard
set up here. Sorry. This is going to be tough.
I'm playing Dan and Tyler. It's going to be tough.
All right. So, yeah, let's introduce. Tyler,
our 40 -time champion. I know we usually have
much more amped music in the background. Sorry,
fuck that one. All right. Dan, how many do you
have? 20, 20, 20. Dan's got 20. He's halfway
to Tyler. And then we have Casey. You're at what,
four? Three. Three? Three for three. Casey is
the tray sitting in the old alley -back seat.
The one thing that's true here is that, Casey,
you are at a 3 -0 record. You're the only undefeated
Jeopardy contestant right now. So, our categories
for the day. Oh, yeah. We got religion. Oh, jeez.
We got sports. Oh, Jesus fuck. We got college.
Just college? Just college. U .S. government
and kings and queens. Okay, that's not a question,
but I appreciate the enthusiasm. Fuck, dude.
It's not that bad, Dan. I didn't make them, so
they're not as fucking geared towards certain
people as Casey's. That's why I got put in power
after a vote of no confidence. Let Dan go first.
It was your birthday yesterday. Dan, it was your
birthday yesterday. 36. Happy birthday. Also,
I don't think this board has double jeopardy,
so I'm just going to pick two and make them double
jeopardy. I already know what they are. They're
predetermined, so I'm not giving you gimmies.
But there's two double jeopardies in here. What
happened to me? I shut it off. No, you leave
it on in the background. Oh, okay. I guess I'll
just fucking leave it on the whole fucking time
then. Fuck, man. Alright, so. You're up first,
Dan. You got religion? Religion, sport. Also,
weird thing, this person fucking programmed it
as 400 for the minor category and 2 ,000 for
the max. The math works out the same, but the
scores are going to be higher. That's because
they changed it because of inflation, because
of Republican presence. Okay, gotcha. Dan, your
categories are religion, sports, college, U .S.
governments, and kings and queens. Let's hear
it for sub -pop! U .S. governments for, let's
do, uh... 1 ,000. Okay, so are you looking for
the top one? Because this way it would be 2 ,000
on this board. I said 2 ,000 on the top. I'm
just fucking... We have 400, 800. All right,
we'll go middle of the road. You get 1 ,200.
I was trying to find the daily double in there
off the rev. His gifted hands pointed him toward
neurosurgery. Later, he entered politics. Three?
Who's three? I'm not three. Neurosurgery? His
gifted hands pointed him toward neurosurgery.
Later he entered politics. Well, that's minus.
Don't time this out. No, they never fucking do
that. They want to do this shit to me, and I
never do minus when they buzz in and don't say
anything. Oh, no. I'm not giving you negative
points. Don't worry. That's what Tyler said.
You want to give me negative. Yeah, well, Tyler's
crybaby ways get fucking put to the test when
I'm up here, all right? Mama runs a fucking tight
ship up on this thing. Crybaby? This is U .S.?
His gifted hands pointed him toward neurosurgery.
The category is U .S. government? U .S. government
for $1 ,200. I've heard of this guy before. There's
a neurosurgeon in the cabinet or something. You've
got 10 seconds. No, no, no. Don't time it out.
20 seconds. Who the fuck is it? It was probably
like the last, what do you call it? The health,
not health secretary, but. Yeah, who the fuck
is it? Like, what is Dr. Oz? No, he's cardiothoracic.
No, but what's his title in the government? Oh,
yeah, I'm not sure. 20. Oh, the Surgeon General.
I think it's one of them. Wasn't it a black guy?
What about Obama? Ten. Alright, time it out.
Alright, nobody gets any fucking points. I will
allow... What is Ben Carson? Ben Carson. Let's
see. That actually sounds like it could be correct.
Ben Carson. Oh, holy shit. Wasn't he a black
guy? Yeah, he was a black guy. Yeah, I knew it.
Do I get any credit for saying he was a black
guy? No. Oh, come on. No, you do not get credit
for that. But I was right about that. He is a
black guy. I did not ask for race, though. That
was fun. All right. All right, I'll take it,
Casey. U .S. government. All right, you want
to keep it going? We got 400, 800, 16, or 20.
Lowest one. Lowest one. All right, 400. No big
surprise, his interests included art, politics,
and Tennessee. What? Art, politics, and Tennessee?
What? No big surprise, his interests included
art, politics, and Tennessee. Oh, art, politics,
and Tennessee. That's vague as fuck. I didn't
make the fucking board, okay? You don't have
to buzz in, all right? Am I timing it? Yes. That's
a tough one. All right. That could be anybody.
In a 250 -year period. The correct answer was
Gore. Al Gore. Actually, the answer was just
Gore. That's not what I said. I guess he's from
Tennessee. Gore. All right. Casey, keep it going.
U .S. government. 800. The American Castro brothers
twins Joaquin and Julian are big in this state's
politics. Who the fuck knows that? What is Florida?
State like country or state like state? State
like state, you fucking mongoloid. The American
Castro brothers, twins, Joaquin and Julian, are
big in this state's politics. Joaquin Phoenix.
So it's not Florida. No, it's not. No, that was
incorrect. There's only 50. Oh, wait, I got to
deduct points from you. There's only 49 other
states that they could be. I have no fucking
clue. Just time it out. Illinois. All right.
Adolf Hitler. That would be Texas, gentlemen.
Who the fuck is this? Why am I getting chunks
of fucking shit in the... Fucking Marco Rubio's
cousin. Why am I getting chunks of shit in the
fucking... Oh, you're probably just inhaling
ash. Oh, I think it was... Alright, Casey, it's
still you. Probably tobacco. Something I can
spit this... Oh. Yeah, you might just have to...
You either use this one because we rinsed this
one out. Yeah, just use it. US government. Alright,
US government for $1 ,600. Unhappy with Tennessee
politics in 1835, he said, you may all go to
hell and I will go to Texas, but that did not
turn out so well. In 1835? Guys, I think this
was the one category that was pretty sketchy
when I looked at this board. I'm not going to
lie. But unhappy with Tennessee politics in 1835,
he said, you may all go to hell and I will go
to Texas. Can you give us a hint? But that did
not turn out well. Can you give us a hint? Let
me see. Was he a confederate? No, probably not.
That was too early. He has the first name of
somebody who has a locker in a location that
people don't go to. You don't want to go to his
locker. You'd be in deep shit. His name's Davey
something. I don't know. That's correct. I don't
know his last name. Is it Jefferson Davis? No,
the first name is Davey. I'll give you that.
Davey Crockett. That's correct, Dan! Davey Crockett!
Is it? Oh, shit! I'm like fucking reading articles.
Alright, you guys asked for the hint. Alright,
Dan, it's your pick. You got religion, sports,
college, U .S. governments. There's only one
question left. U .S. governments. All right.
We'll take it. U .S. government for the big 2K.
This one is a... Where the fuck is it? Daily
Double? Yeah. It's a Daily Double. It's a Daily
Double. You can bet up to $2 ,000. Casey, I can't
find the Double Jeopardy sound effect, but that's
fine. It's on the soundboard. Yeah, well... You
gonna bet $2 ,000? What is your wager, Dan? All
right, just to tally up the scores. It's a daily
double. Casey, 400. Tyler, zero. Zero. And Dan,
1 ,600. 1 ,600. I'll do 500. You'll wager 500.
All right. Actually, you know what? I want to
make it 400. All right, you're going to wager
400. I'm not very confident. All right. After
abandoning conservative politics, David Brock
titled a book Blinded by This. Blinded? Blinded
by... Say the question again. After abandoning
conservative politics, David Brock titled a book
Blinded by This. What does Melania mean? What
is fire and fury? Is there a year for this? Is
there a what? A year for this? No. I feel like
that might be fair. That's not fair. It's not
fair. Because it could be any time between fucking
1776... That's not fair. I don't think it's fair.
I think it's fair. It's not. Not in the original
question. Alright, uh, 2010. 2002? That's a hyper
-specific question. He abandoned conservative
politics. This is one you could put together
on your own, I'll be honest. I'm not telling
you to piss away points, but... Blinded by the
blank. what is i don't know oh wait blinded by
the is it a play on words it's not a play on
words but you can gather it based all right blinded
by the light You are one letter off. Blinded
by the... I'm unfortunately going to have to
deduct your points. Hold on, hold on. Blinded
by the right? Blinded by the right. Fuck me.
Fuck. I should have known that. You're right.
Oh, fuck. And I said no to it being a play on
words. So, yeah, it was. I just got that. That's
okay. That's all right. You gave me enough. Blinded
by the right. All right, Daniel. Wrapped up like
a douche, another boner in the night. All right.
Whose pick was it? It was Dan's pick. Daniel,
it's your pick. You got religion, sports, college,
and kings and queens. Fucking college. College.
Starting off with college. The college students.
To college students, it's what you call the pamphlet
you write test answers in. To car shoppers, it
follows Kelly. What is the blue book? It was
four. Me. All right, Daniel. That is correct.
I didn't hit it fast enough. All right, Dan,
still your pick. Colleges. In 1996, Trenton State
College became the college of this state. What
is New Jersey? That is correct, Casey. How the
fuck did you know that? It's the capital of New
Jersey. Trenton. College. All right, keeping
it going with college. This government agency
and college conference have the same name. Government
agency and college? This government agency and
college conference have the same name. For like
national? It's an abbreviation. I'll give you
that much. Is it a national thing though? Or
is it like a state? I can't tell you that. It
does change what it comes to. You can piece this
one together. I feel like the only piece of information
that should be in there that's not is this government
agency and college sports conference have the
same name. The same acronym, rather. What is
the NCAA? That is incorrect, Dan. Fuck. What
is the NAACP? That's what I was thinking. All
right. Time it out. All right. I'm not going
to go to the soundboard. It takes too long. The
answer was SEC. Is it NWA? Yes. All right, Casey.
Their university was the streets. All right,
college for 1600. This eight -team college football
league has lions and tigers and bears. Oh, my.
And Quakers, too. This what? College football
league? This eight -team college football league
has lions, tigers, and bears. What is PAC? P
-A -C? That is incorrect. Fuck! What is the NFL?
No, retard! Oh, fuck. It's not PAC. Hold on,
hold on, hold on. It's a college football. What's
the college football division? It's like a college
football division. It's a group of teams. Like
how SEC is a group of... Dude, when somebody
goes to a blank football game, it's a blank football
game. What is it? Actually, you're kind of onto
the same... We're not going to get college football.
Okay. It's not PAC? It's not PAC. It's a blank
football name. I thought Penn State was Penn.
What's the acronym? I don't know. What's fucking
the main acronym? I can't think of it. I'm telling
you it's not that. This one is not an acronym.
It's not? No, it's not an acronym. Say it one
more time, the question. This eight -team college
football league or conference has Lions and Tigers
and Bears 0 -9. I don't know. I don't know. All
right. I'm going to time it out. Time it out.
Tyler, just because you lost your points the
first time around, I'm going to give them back
to you. That's correct. It is the Ivy League.
That's some bullshit. No, because he fucking
lost a lot of points. All right. He got it. All
right. He fucking got it. All right. I shouldn't
have given you the points, but I'm going to stick
to it. It's Ivy League. All right. Tyler, you're
next up, but that's the only time I'm doing that.
All right. Religion for 400. Let's combine religion
and politics and discuss the separation of these
two. What is church and state? Daniel? I'm going
to say what is church and state, but I didn't
hear the end of the question. Well, you buzzed
in, so I don't know what to tell you, but yes,
it is church and state, Casey. I'm not going
to feel sympathy for you for doing that. All
right. Casey, it's you. Religion. Religion for
800. Only Muslims may enter this religion's holiest
city. What is Mecca? Oh, Islam. What is Islam?
Well, actually, did you buzz in first? Yeah.
No, he got it. It was Mecca. Oh, it was Mecca?
It was Mecca. It was Mecca? Only Muslims may
enter this... You said this religion. Oh, yeah,
I misspoke, but he still got it. It was only
Muslims may enter this... may enter this. The
religion's holiest city. And Muhammad's birthplace,
Mecca. You said this religion, I said Islam.
Yeah, I fucking know what happened. But you also
buzzed in after him and he got it correct. We'll
go with Muslim religion. I'm taking it out on
the fucking host right now. Yeah, I know. A principle
of belief, especially of religion or philosophy.
Ooh, this is a tough one. A principle of belief?
Say it again. It's a word to describe a principle
of belief, especially of religion or philosophy.
Is it a single word? Yes. Say it one more time.
A principle of belief, especially of religion
or philosophy. What is an ideology? Dan, that
is incorrect. Fuck. This one's a tricky one.
I want to say commandment, but I don't think
it's right. A principle or belief. Oh, man. You're
gonna be kicking yourselves when I buzz this
one out. Don't buzz it out. Buzz it out. Don't
buzz it out. Don't buzz it out. No, don't buzz
it out. Okay. That's bullshit. You said this
religion. I said Islam. He buzzed it and got
it right before you did anything. What are you
bitching about? I don't think I should get any
points off for that. You didn't get any points
off, you fucking mongrel. I think I should get
half points for that. No, you shouldn't. You
said this religion. I said Islam. Casey, you're
living in the past. That was like 30 seconds
ago. Calm the fuck down. You're still winning
the fucking game. This is how I feel as host,
by the way. Yeah, all right. I like it. I think
it's funny. I'm not giving you what you want.
All right, I'm timing this out in a couple seconds.
A principle of belief, especially of religion
or philosophy. Final answers, anybody? No. A
principle of what? He said this religion. He
said this religion. Somebody's... Hold on. Hold
on. A principle or belief is somebody's... All
right, I'm calling the clock. You got 20 seconds,
Dan. Okay, 20 seconds. I know the word. I can't
think of it. I know. It's their... A principle
or belief. It's somebody's something. Somebody's...
10. Prerogative. No, somebody's... A principle?
Four. Okay, time it out. Three. Time it out.
That would be a tenet. Oh, whatever. Fuck that
shit. You can't say it wasn't fair. I mean, that's
real. Yeah. All right. I feel like ideology was
a better fucking... I think it's still me. I
believe it's still you. Okay. Religion for 1600.
After invasions in the 7th century, Phoenicians
were forced to convert to this religion or pay
a jizya. A jizya. A jizya? How do I pronounce
that? J -I -Z -Y -A. Jizya? Sounds good to me.
Jizya? I don't know. What is it, Casey? Because
you fucking buzzed in. What is Christianity?
No. Fuck. That would be incorrect, Casey. What
is Islam? That would be correct, Tyler. Fuck!
That was my second guess. Fuck! That would have
been my second guess, too. Dude, fucking jizya?
That's definitely fucking Arabic. God damn it.
All right. Tyler, that brings it back to you.
We'll finish off religion. Finishing off religion
for 2000. One of the four noble truths of this
religion is all life is suffering. Number three.
The four noble truths. What is Buddhism? That
would be correct. I was going to say Confucianism.
Let's go. Let's fucking go. All right. Just so
I can give a tally on the scores currently. Casey,
you are leading at 3 ,600. Tyler, you are in
second place with 2 ,400. And Dan, you are in
last place with negative 800. No, no, no, no.
Don't let that upset you too much because that's
really negative 400 if we're going by our old
scoring. You're not out of it. You land one question,
you're back in the positive. With one question,
Dan, you could be back to 1 ,200. So don't stress
too much. He's so uplifting. So positive. What's
the categories? We have one question in college
remaining, and then we have the entire sports
and kings and queens categories. College. Alright.
$2 ,000 for college. This actor plays Chip, a
dropout from French Clown College and his twin
brother Dale on Baskets. What? What the fuck
is even that? What the fuck kind of question
is that? What the fuck kind of question is that?
That is a retard question if I've ever heard
one. Time it out. Okay. Oh, no, I get it. Oh,
my God. Yeah, I understand this one. That's a
niche one, though. I'm timing it out. The correct
answer was Zach Galifianakis, which he does do
both of them. things all right so casey it's
down to you you have sports and kings and queens
oh sports is off the table for sports oh sports
for 400 should taxpayers fund pro sports venues
they are for atlanta's mercedes -benz stadium
which replaced this dome oh fuck oh Oh, fuck.
What was it called before? Wait, what's the...
Where is it? Should taxpayers fund pro sports
venues? They are for the Atlanta's Mercedes -Benz
Stadium, which replaced this dome. What the fuck?
It's a previous dome in Atlanta. God damn. I'm
going to fucking be so pissed when I fucking
don't get this. I don't know. Time it out. I'm
going to be pissed, though. It's a Thunderdome.
I actually knew this one. That is the Georgia
Dome. Fuck! Fuck you! Alright, Casey, I believe
it's still you. Sports. Sports for 800. With
origins going back to 1869, this Ohio sports
team was named for its players' stockings. What
are the White Sox? White Stockings. The Chicago
White Sox? That is incorrect. What are the Red
Sox? That is incorrect. Fuck me, dude. I'm so
deep in the fucking negative. What is the question?
With origins going back to 1869, this Ohio sports
team was named for its players' stockings. Fucking
Ohio. Why did I say the fucking Red Sox? What
sport is it? You want to know what? Just for
the sake of this. Is it baseball? It's baseball,
okay? It's fucking baseball. And you tried Chicago
and the Red Sox and it wasn't there. It's Cleveland
something. It's the name of a sports team. The
Cleveland are the Indians, I thought. No, but
it's back in 1860. Yeah, time it out. I'm timing
it out. It was the fucking Cincinnati Reds. Jesus
Christ, guys. Come on. Fucking hell. I was thinking
of Cleveland. I wasn't thinking of Cincinnati.
I'm so deep in the fucking negatives. You're
only 1 ,600. You're really not. Stop trying to
fucking dry bag me for fucking uplifting. No,
I'm not, dude. You're not that deep in the negatives.
All right. Sports for 1 ,200. In 2009, MIT cut
eight varsity sports. Slashing this one must
have saved on greens fees. What's golf? Casey,
that is correct. Goddamn. I fucking didn't hit
the button fast enough. I'll take sports. All
right, sports for $1 ,600, and this one is a
daily double. God fucking aids. How much? All
right, let's do a score recap. dan you are in
last with negative 1600 tyler you are in second
with 2400 and casey you are at 4000 still anybody's
game 500 It's not. Dude, it's really not out
of reach. You tally off like two high questions.
You're in the fucking lead, bro. I don't know
what you're crying about. I love this fucking
category. I'm fucked. 500? Yeah. All right. Short
for the numerical records kept on players in
sports. Fuck you. I know. I know it too. This
is short for the numerical records. Kept on players.
Casey, are you retarded? What? Are you retarded?
What are stats? Fuck. I was going to say. I was
going to make it out to be really hard. Casey,
that is correct. It didn't feel like a full question.
All right. Well, it was. And you're up to 5 ,000.
All right. Fuck you. All right. Sports! All right.
Both my daily doubles are off the board. I'll
go with sports. All right. To finish off sports
for 2 ,000. Before he was on Wide World of Sports
and Monday Night Football, this announcer represented
Willie Mays. What do you mean represented? Like
his fucking lawyer? Say it again. Before he was
on Wide World of Sports and Monday Night Football,
this announcer... Who's John Madden? I'm already
in the negative. I don't give a fuck. I would
suggest not buzzing in. I'm playing the negative
game, dude. What do you mean represented? I don't
fucking know, Casey, all right? I'm sure this
guy represented him somehow. It's a Jeopardy
question. It's got to be real. Time it out. All
right, timed out. Answered was Howard Kozel.
Who the fuck would know that? I've heard of him,
but... Well, you didn't get the question right.
I don't know how that would lead to this. Who
picked these fucking questions, bro? I'll make...
I didn't think we were having Jeopardy tonight,
all right? So I didn't fucking make it. All right.
I don't care. Casey, your only options are for
kings and queens. Don't you love being the host?
I actually do. I think it's pretty fun. Take
him, yeah. All right, for the minimum. All right.
In 2018, his museum in Kingston, Jamaica stirred
things up with a 73rd birthday and Earth Day
celebration. He's Bob Marley. What? That would
be correct, Casey. What the fuck? Wait, what?
That's real? I guess. Casey, it's your pick.
Next one. All right, 800. Connecting Liverpool...
Christ. connecting Liverpool to Birkenhead, the
over two mile Queensway tunnel passes under this
river. What is the English channel? No, wait.
Can you say the question again before I... I
actually have no idea what you said. Connecting
Liverpool to Birkenhead, the over two mile...
This over two mile Queensway tunnel passes under
this river. Oh, a river? I don't know. What is
the East River? What's the question worth? It's
worth 800. What's the Thames River? That is incorrect,
Casey. It's the East River in fucking Brooklyn.
Is it Liverpool, England? I mean, I'd assume
that's where it is. It's the Hudson River. Where's
the other place it connects to? Birkenhead. What
is Birkenhead? What country? I don't fucking
know. It's in England. Fucking Liverpool. Yeah,
but there's a tunnel that goes under the English
Channel. It's called the Queensway Tunnel. There's
a tunnel that goes under the English Channel.
Yeah, but that's a channel. I'm asking for a
river. Okay, fine. It's the Hudson River, guys.
We don't know the river. All right, I'm fucking
timing it out. It's the Mercy River. Who the
fuck knows that? Fuck you. Okay. Who the fuck?
Who the fuck knows that? All right. I'm assuming
you want to keep it going? Yeah. All right. Kings
and Queens. A single national park in the Simpson
Desert occupies 4 ,000 square miles of Queensland
in this country. What's Australia? I was going
to say that. That would be correct, Casey. There
we go. Next one. I'm going to punch you so hard.
I'm going to punch you so hard. I have so much
hatred towards you a lot of times. I'm just answering
questions here. All right, we going for the next
one? Yeah, next one. Christian Bale. He's got
the retargeting fucking shit. Throw a fucking
penalty flag. There's no penalty flag. Fucking
yellow card. Red card. Casey is being deducted
1 ,000 points for tattling on his competitor.
That brings you down to 4 ,800, Casey. Fuck you,
Allen. All right. Christian Bale plays Moses
in 2014's Exodus, These, and Kings. What is God's?
That would be correct, Tyler. Did you actually
take 1 ,000 points off because that was bullshit?
I'll only take off 500. What? What? This game
is bullshit. Because Tyler punched me. I'm going
to take you 500 points away. Okay, fine. I didn't
deduct any fucking points. Calm down. Jesus.
All right. Last question remaining. Still anybody's
game here. Kings and Queens for 2000. In 1830,
at age 72, this hero of the American Revolution
played a key role in France's July Revolution
that changed kings. Casey, if you don't... Say
it again. Check. Yeah, we're good. Check, check.
All right, say it again. You said 1832? In 1830,
at age 72, this hero of... Okay. Tyler got it.
It's fucking Lafayette. That is correct, Tyler.
What the fuck, bro? Holy shit. Wow, we're going
into a crazy Final Jeopardy. I'm not going to
lie to you. I thought it was a founding father.
Lafayette was a founding father. No, he was French.
Yeah, he signed the Declaration of Independence.
Fuck this game, bro. Yeah, but he was from France.
Yeah, and then he fought in the French Revolution.
No, he helped us, but he wasn't from France.
All right, I also just realized the Jeopardy
board doesn't come with a Final Jeopardy, so
I need to think of one quickly. Alright. So,
just to go into my thinking process here. I got
a Final Jeopardy question if you want to use
it. Shut up, Casey. No, I'm good. I'm good. Actually,
Dan, would you like to... What's the scores?
What's the score? That was such a fuck thing
for me to ask of you. No, Danny, you do not need
to help me pick a fucking Final Jeopardy question.
Dude, let me fucking help. Come on. All right,
if you want to pick the Final Jeopardy question,
you are out of the game, unfortunately, at this
point. But to tell the point tallies, Casey,
you have 5 ,800. Tyler, you are trailing by 200.
Ooh. Yes, at 5 ,600. And Dan, you're at negative
3 ,600. Okay, I'm going to... Let me pick the
final Jeopardy. Okay. Give me one second. You
can text me your wagers, gentlemen. No, they
got to know the question. Or no, not the question.
I got to know the category. All right, well...
What's the category? He needs to get the category.
I'm going to set... All right, we're going to
make the category geography like normal. All
right. Dude, I was literally just going to ask
ChatGPT to write me a geography trivia question.
I sent it to you on Facebook. All right, I have
Casey's. And I have Tyler's. Alright, one second.
No, not! This is gonna be fucking sick. It's
tough, Dan, because you can't make it too easy
or too hard. I know, that's the problem. Do I
have time to take a piss? Yeah, you have time
to take a piss. Wait, can we pause during this?
I don't know how to pause the podcast. No, that's
all right. All right, guys. You're just listening
to my narration now. Thank you for bearing with
me through this learning curve. Do you think
the girls, you know how all of us guys when Resident
Evil 8 came out and Mommy Milk Denial was in
the game, how we all fucking love that? Do you
think women are going feral over fucking, I know
they're going feral over Leon. Yes, that's correct.
But do you think Victor is giving them some shit?
Victor Gideon? Yeah. I don't think so. Except
the chicks who really like, like, the fucking
serial killer murder documentaries that, like,
fantasize over Jeffrey Dahmer. I bet you they're
probably getting off to him. Like, look how effortlessly
he picked up What's -Her -Nuts. I mean, because
Leon is just... Leon is Leon. Leon's just him.
Yeah, he is just him. He is just him. There's
really not another adjective to describe about
him. All right, I got it, Ally Mac. You got one.
Hold on a sec. Leon is him. He will continue
to be him. He has always been him. I have always
been him. Did you guys see the Trumpula one I
sent? It was pretty fucking good. Why is Dan
writing the question? I threw diamonds at the
strip club under the pyramids. What the fuck
is this? He's not in the game anymore, retard.
Is that already up there? I thought we had 3
,600. It's what I told you. Okay, I see it. All
right, gentlemen. It's negative 3 ,600. Gentlemen,
are you ready for your question? I have received
your wagers. Yeah. All right. That should be
four or five. How many out of the... I think
we should do... I think four is... Sufficient?
I like four. Okay. I like four. Yeah. Four. If
they both get four, then we'll just move on to
a double. Wait, no. A double elimination. Come
up with another one. Well, no, that doesn't work
because you guys have wagers. If it's a tie,
it's whoever gets more. All right. I think that's
a fair question. If it's a tie, we both just
get the points, but whatever we wager. I'll figure
it out when the moment happens. That's right.
Anyways, the question is, name four of the seven
countries that border Iran. I'm going to start
watching Jeopardy again. I'm not fucking around
and losing like this again. I mean, I'll make
a better board next time too. This one was kind
of trash. I'm not going to lie. I was spitting
out a lot of answers though. That was not right.
That really drove me into the negative. I feel
like if I just shut up. I feel like if I just
shut up, I would have been a lot better off.
You know, Tyler's strategy worked because he
was shut up for pretty much the first three categories,
and he started chiming in when he knew shit.
I will give Tyler credit for that. Sometimes
that works, though, just spitting shit out because
you beat people to the punch. Okay. Do I do more
than four? If I do more than four... You've got
to lock in four, and then you can add additional,
but you need to mark them as such. I'm just going
to go with this. Well, because I don't want him
to fucking have five countries and four of them
be right. And then we have to deal with the debacle
of whether he deserves his points or not. I just
did four. So Casey, just do four. Your first
four. Did you guys both lock in answers? Not
yet. Just do four because that's what I did.
If you want to do more than four, Casey, you
can. You just need to specify which four you're
pulling from for the additional question. Because
if you get the bonus one wrong, but you got the
first four right. Okay, all good and fun. You
have one incorrect answer there, and you don't
specify which is which. I am not awarding you
your points. And may God have mercy on your soul.
What movie is that from? It's Billy Madison.
Yep. Let me see. I gotta see what I racked, where
it is. I already put in my thing, so you don't
gotta worry about it. Well, the question was
about Iran, so I would fucking... It's what country's
border Iran, Tyler, not Iraq. Oh, well. If you
want to change your answers. I'm looking at a
map right now, so it's not fair. Okay. I'm going
to play fair. Fucking Christ, you thought it
was Iraq. Oh, God. Well, I'm fucked. Whatever.
Well, I mean, it might be close. I was going
to say, you might still be nailing a handful
of them. I don't even know where fucking Iraq
is on that. Casey's having a full -fledged existential
crisis right now. Actually, it's not an easy
question. No, it's not. It's not. That's why,
like, four is sufficient, for sure. Afghanistan's
fucking huge. But there are seven countries,
which is like... You're just giving intel to
the enemy here, Tyler. Just keep in mind that.
Pakistan, New Delhi, Afghanistan, Kazakhstan,
Kyrgyzstan, Umlaut. That's a country, apparently.
Chad, South Africa. Russia, Japan, North Korea,
South Korea, Africa, just all of Africa. I don't
care. Oman. Casey, I hate to call a clock on
you, but I am going to have to ramp up the pressure
here. Could you read the question again? For
the purposes of stalling, I will allow that to
happen once. The question is, what are four of
the seven countries that border Iran? I think
I got like three and I missed, I fucked up one.
Iran is like, is the Middle East. It's like,
if you just name some countries in the Middle
East, you'll probably get it. Which I didn't
realize. Iran would be a tricky fucking puzzle
piece. Where the fuck is Israel? I can't even
find it on a map. It's in that general area.
Casey, you have 30 seconds. Okay. Kuwait isn't
a country. Kuwait's like a fucking state. 20.
I'm waiting until the last second to send you
this. Where the fuck is Israel, dude? I'm trying
to find it. Ten. It's in this general area. Five.
Four. Okay. Gentlemen, I have your answers. Yeah,
I did not get this. All right. Tyler. That's
wrong. Actually, we're going to start with Casey's
first because I can find his easier. All right.
There's Israel. Casey answers with Iraq, Afghanistan,
Syria, and Uzbekistan. Uzbekistan? Casey, that
is incorrect. But let's see who has more. Okay.
Then we'll make them the winner. All right. Well,
Tyler, your answer was... I think I only got
two. Israel, Afghanistan, Iraq, and India. You
got Afghanistan and Iraq, just like Casey did,
but the other two were incorrect. I know I got
three. I was thinking of Pakistan. I don't know
the fourth one. So now, down to the wagers. I
think I know the fourth one, actually. Now down
to the wagers. Alright, yeah, I guess I can tell
you what countries it was. We had Iraq, Turkey,
Armenia, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Afghanistan,
and Pakistan. Fuck, I was going to say fucking...
Turkmenistan or Pakistan? I was genuinely...
I was thinking of the location of Pakistan, and
I'm like, if it was Pakistan, I would have...
I would have been... I was gonna say fucking
Turkey, too. All right, guys. I got three of
them, right? So just to add to the questions
here, Dan, you get back to zero because you helped
me with the question. We'll actually bring you
up to 2 ,400. Islamabad? Dude, there's a city
called Islamabad in fucking Pakistan. So, gentlemen,
the wagers and the answers, you were both incorrect.
Tyler, you wagered 2 ,000. Casey, you bet it
all. You bet it all. 41, motherfucker. How do
I fucking... Tyler wins. Tyler wins! Casey's
no longer undefeated, motherfucker. Tyler wins!
Tyler wins. Tyler wins, and to congratulate him,
I'm going to shut the soundboard off. And we
are going to get some. Good game. I couldn't
think of whether Turkey connected to Iran. That
was a tough question. Because wherever we flew
from Israel to Iran, that was through Jordan
and Iraq. Metal pipe falling sound effect! Yeah!
I would have gotten... Let's go. 41. Very well
done. 41 -time winner. Casey is no longer undefeated.
Let's go. Did I get three right, though? What's
on the other side? Even if you got three right,
I mean, you bet it all, and he bet 2 ,000. Was
Syria one of them? Syria was not one of them.
Syria's connected to him. Never mind. I think
you both got two. Yeah. I think you both had
two. That was tough. Even three would have been
actually fair. I'm not going to lie. I think
I would have got Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq.
I think I would have had three. Yeah. I don't
think I would have been able to get the other
ones. Well, I'm going to go home now. Tyler wins.
Well, I'll be better at the soundboard. What
else is new? I beat the undefeated. Dude, I came
in clutch at the end. That was five hours of
silence being randomly broken by a metal pipe.
Oh, I was trying to find the theme song. That's
my favorite fucking video. I don't know what
to tell you about. Dude, this hookah has got
to be an every pod thing. We're all getting cancer.
Where's the theme song? I can't find the fucking
here. I'm going to give Casey. I mean, I'm going
to give Tyler a delayed. Just type Jeopardy theme.
2008. Jeopardy. If we should get some more. Jeopardy
theme. No, he gets the fucking winner. Like get
some different flavors. Yeah. Is this better
for you than... No, it's way worse. Is it? It's
17 cigarettes. No. Yeah. No shit. This is a winning
song. I've been going crazy. You get the prices
right. Tyler wins. It's not worse than a cigar,
dude. Yeah, there's no way, dude. Dude, when
I smoke a cigar, my mouth feels like it's filled
with tar. Yeah, this has water in it. Yeah, we
should buy some more, though. Where do you even
get the shit for it? I think I order it online
from a hookah tobacco. Or there's a tobacco store
by my house. Yeah, Smoker's Choice definitely
has it. Casey, take this thing back because I
don't know how to end this podcast. All right.
I think mint would be the best. I love mint.
We all like menthol. I don't like cancer. Dude,
I'll pick some up before next time. Yeah. I don't
like cancer, bro. I fucking love hookah. I don't
fuck with the cancer, bro. Dude, hookah is going
to be the new fucking thing down here. We're
all going to be smoking hookah. Dan, I'm getting
a steering wheel tomorrow. Are you? I'm fucking
pumped. Dude, did you see the hoodie, though?
I got that. Oh, shit. All right. Well, thanks
for listening to Untitled Podcast. Oh, we never
said. We never edited it. No. As always, Randy
Walters is a son of a bitch. And each other.
Be kind to yourselves. And each other. We out.
Fuck off! For all we know, robots have souls.
We just don't know if they do or don't. How do
you know? Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this
planet? Fuck no. No, no, we are jumping down
this fucking rabbit hole. Yes, we are. There's
people out there with some really dumb thoughts.
Extended episode. Where the fuck did the pyramid
come from? Where the fuck did Stonehenge come
from? You're telling me that they didn't die
and become ghosts? They're killing all the already
born babies and sell them to the Chinese. Aliens
exist. Somewhere in China, in some base, there
are super soldiers that are at least 9 or 10
feet tall. Oh my god. Okay, so if they constantly
take on from our planet, then they are extraterrestrials.
They are aliens. before my eyes, while holding
their pulse, feel them die of this virus, you
feel bump, bump, bump, beep, nothing, they're
fucking gone, I've seen it happen, I think that
the government has taken it to the next level
with the birds, they know what birds are going
to cross paths with you, that you are going to
be able to raise, and they are going to make
them so fucking real, they're going to sink money
into them, because they know that if you Put
that motherfucker in a cage, they're gonna be
able to convince you that thing's fucking real.
You can cut it open, you're gonna see blood guts,
no circuitry, but let me tell you, their technology
is absolutely inviolable. Which, by the way,
big brother, is the Overlord Tooth. George Soros
is an actual Nazi collaborator, okay? I'm not
fucking lying. It's fucking real, okay? Look
it up. Look it up. He says that he was doing
this shit. George Soros actually worked with
the fucking Nazis during the Holocaust. He says
that he was doing it just to survive, but he
fucking loved it. He was having a great fucking
time doing this shit. George Soros is the fucking
devil, okay? He's not fucking doing this shit,
George Soros is the fucking evil. He's the actual
fucking Don't show up!