The following program is intended for mature
audiences and may cause cancer in at -risk populations.
Viewer discretion is advised. For all we know,
robots have souls. We just don't know if they
do or don't. How do you know? Have you ever been
a cyborg or a robot? You think we were the first
ones to inhabit this planet? Fuck no. No, we
are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole. Yes,
we are. There's people out there with some really
dumb thoughts. Extended episode. Where the fuck
did the spearmen come from? Where the fuck did
Stonehenge come from? You're telling me that
they didn't die and become ghosts? They're killing
all the already born babies and sell them to
the Chinese. Aliens exist. Somewhere in China.
some days what the fuck there are super soldiers
super soldiers then they are extraterrestrials
they are aliens Salt and avocado oil. And olive
oil. So olive oil in the popper. And then I layer
in some avocado oil. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Welcome
to the Unplugged Podcast. Don't worry, I'm going
to cut all that out. Episode 115. I'm here with
Dan and Tyler. Oh yeah. I declare that August
is a month -long tribute for Ozzy Osbourne. A
whole month? Yeah, bro. Prince of Darkness. What?
Only a month? That's what you should be saying.
Seems a little long. Bro, you only know like
one Oddity song. Yeah. That should tell you something.
He was okay. Could you throw an I Am A Real American
in there? What? Did you see when he did a song
with Post Malone and Post Malone's fans like,
this Aussie guy, he's going to be real big someday.
Yeah, I did. That was really funny. What happened
to Burger King, Tyler? Oh, okay. I forgot. So,
I'm eating Dad's delicious popcorn. Here, bro,
take a cup of it. That's smart. So, me and myself
and I, We're sitting in the Burger King parking
lot waiting to order. So I'm in the drive -thru.
Get up to the window. Mind you, I sat in this
drive -thru for about 30 minutes. And at that
point, you start getting the pissy thing. You're
just like, why am I fucking waiting here? I don't
even want this anymore. This was just a bad choice.
But the way that this Burger King's fucking set
up, you can't just get out of line. There's only
one way in, one way out. It's a fucking one -way
thing. So I'm like, I guess I'm fucking stuck.
And so I pull up, and they're like, it sounded
like he was this close to the mic. He goes, y
'all, hold on a second. Hold on a second. Wait
a second. Hold on. I'm like, okay, cool. And
they're like, all right. And then I hear like
a. Oh, hell, I got to write her up. I got to
write her up. I'm over here bagging when she
should be bagging. I got to write her bitch ass
up. This fucking bitch. You! Hey! And you hear
her stop and go away. She almost forgot to turn
off the microphone. Hey! You! Come here! The
fuck are you doing? I'm supposed to be taking
orders and you're supposed to be fucking bagging.
And you ain't bagging. And you just hear. I was
so fucking high, dude. I don't know what's going
on, man. I just, what do you mean bagging stuff?
What do I have to bag? And he goes, do I bag
this cup? And she's like, don't bag the fucking
cup. You know what? Get the fuck out of here.
Like, go home. He's like, well, man, okay, cool.
I got a free day. He walks off and he just goes.
Fucking animals. We get up to the fucking, mind
you, another like 10 minutes to get up to the
fucking first window. Jeez, I'm getting like
the hiccups. I get up to the first window and
she's like, hello. I'm like, okay. Opens up the
window. I can fucking smell so much weed inside
that store. It's fucking unbelievable. I felt
like I got high from them opening the window.
What's this, Burger King around here? Burger
King is so fucking ghetto. Yeah, it's the one
right down the street here. Jesus Christ. Yeah.
So I'm like, she's like 1150 or something. I'm
like, all right, here you go. And she's like,
mm -hmm. Now you all pulled up now. I'm like,
okay. And I get up there, and then there's a
guy going. Fucking wide -eyed, just fucking,
like, staring at the window. He just goes, what?
What did you order? I'm like, I ordered this.
He's like, oh. Yeah. Here you go. Fucking, there
were raw fries in my bag. Oh, my God. I go, what
the fuck, dude? There's probably some coke in
there, too. And he's like, you want me to actually
fry them? I'm like, yes. I want you to actually
fry them. Jesus. He just goes, okay. And he comes
back like a minute later, and it's slightly cooked
fries. Not even fully cooked fries. I'm like,
I don't fucking care. I'm just going to leave.
I'm done. I'm done. Good enough. I'm going. I'm
fucking leaving. This is dumb. Fuck you. Bye.
And he's like, bye -bye. I'm like, what the fuck
is going on at these goddamn fucking things?
And they want to get paid $20 an hour? Dude,
they probably make that now. Yep. Can you imagine?
Did you work at Burger King ever, Casey? No,
I worked at Starbucks. Did you ever work at a
fast food joint? I worked at Price Chopper. That
doesn't count. Can you imagine, like, you go
through the, you know how sometimes they take
your payment at one window, and then you pick
up your food at the next? You just, like, give
your payment, and then they never come to the
window. Doors are locked. I'd be pissed, dude.
Did you ever work at Burger King? I never worked
in fast food. Yeah, I never worked in fast food.
I was a grave digger. I worked at Price Shopper.
There were some really angry rich white people
there at that Price Shopper. And they would always,
like, just come in with the most outrageous fucking
things. Oh, yeah. The fucking Karens. Can I speak
to your manager? I was like, go ahead. He's right
over there. I was deemed too angry to be on the
front end of Price Chopper. Somebody I worked
with had, like, a cup of, like, hot water thrown
on them, and they, like, burned their fucking
arm. Like boiling water? Yeah. That fucked up,
man. Damn. What other shitty jobs have we had?
I liked being a grave digger. That was probably
my favorite job, actually. Really? Yeah, that
was probably my favorite job. Jesus. It was easy.
I put my headphones on, got a backhoe, dug out
the initial part of the hole, got in there with
square shovels, dug out the rest of it, flattened
it out, made sure it's all square, jump out the
hole, on to the next one. Wow. It was all under
the table and I got like 200 bucks for a hole.
It was under the table grave digging. Dude, it's
under the ground. Dude, 200 bucks a hole? 200
bucks a hole. But that would be the thing. Some
days it would be some days it would be I'd get
like four or five holes. Other days, I'd go like
two weeks without getting a single grave. So
it was like... Hit or miss. It was hit or miss,
yeah. You ain't looking for nothing. You're building
character. But yeah, like the days where I was
popping, I could leave with like a thousand bucks
and I'd be like, hell yeah. You know what I would
do? If I really want to make some cash. I'd go,
like, get the flu and then go to a nursing home,
a local nursing home, and just spread it around.
Then you have a lot of holes to dig. I wouldn't
actually do that, just for the record. I think
that's what Andrew Cuomo did, actually. Exactly.
He gave everybody in the nursing home chlamydia.
But, yeah, grave digging was probably my favorite
job. It was, like, so nice. I threw my headphones
on, used the backhoe. dug it out, squared it
out with shovels. Just listen to tunes or a podcast.
Did you ever see anything spooky? You know, shadows
here and there type thing. It wasn't like I was
working. Like, so I wasn't really trying to look
for anything. Like, I'm just like, I'm just fucking
working, man. I'm keeping, I got my headphones
on. I got a big ass spotlight that we brought
out to like, you know, so you could see what
you're doing. And I just did a whole. This was
at night? Yeah. You're digging them at night?
Yeah. You don't dig fucking graves during the
day. Why? Why not? Because the public's there.
I saw them digging some graves during the day
in Saratoga. No, no, no. This is the one down
here. Were you by yourself? It was either one
or two man crew. So depending on, you know. Would
you ever take a job digging graves in that one
graveyard that we were talking about? Pinewoods?
Yeah. Would I? Yeah. Yeah. You would? Yeah. It's
not fucking open to the public anymore, and there's
nobody being buried there since 1920, I think,
was the last person buried there. So. Hmm. Yeah,
we should go investigate. No, we shouldn't. We
already got fucking, almost got trespassing charges
yesterday. Anyways. How'd you almost get trusted?
By almost, he means we absolutely didn't come
close. Because I'm going to tell you, they don't
bother people that are playing tennis. That's
not a thing. I don't think anybody in the history
of humans has ever been trespassed for playing
tennis. Literally security, campus security drove
by. These are like the courts at Union that are
like where they have the competitions. They're
really nice, dude. Like you could eat off of
these tennis courts. They're fucking pristine.
But, yeah, campus security drove by twice. And
they're probably like, oh, there's some professors
out there. Professors? Yeah. Some professors
playing tennis. So what? I'd be like, I'm Dr.
John Voight. That's all you would have to say.
Oh, do you guys have your union ID? Be like,
dude, I live just down the street. I'm a professor
of architecture. They'd be like, all right. Yeah.
Yeah, just say. I'm playing tennis. I didn't
think to bring it. I teach physics. right this
is what we're doing here and then we could go
on like a rant about quantum physics and like
like fucking ali mac does in this show have you
ever heard of the double slit experiment right
just like boring the security you've never heard
of it no no i think i i think i know the one
i'm pretty sure we talked about yeah i don't
think we did quantum physics like um they shoot
like photons through these double slits Right?
Oh, I think so. Yeah. In this fucking, what is
this called? It's like the observer something
theory or something. Particle accelerator? No.
I don't know. They just shoot photons through
these fucking slits. Or atom splitter. No, it's
not an atom splitter. So they shoot photons through
this double slit in this piece of material. And
while it's being observed, the photons land behind
the slits where you would expect. Yeah. Right?
So when it's not being observed and they look
away. the photons hit behind where they should
be hitting, like on the other side of the material
where the slits aren't. So if you look while
you're looking at it, the photons fall straight
in the lines, right? What happens if you like
videotape it? Well, that's the thing that's observing
it. So you can't observe it. You have to look
after the fact. How does it know whether you're
watching it? Well, that's the thing. That's why
it's like Einstein called that like spooky at
a distance or something like that. Or it's like,
it's just. Dude, it just tells you that there's
something else going on with the universe. Like
if it changes how it reacts based on whether
or not it's being observed. By a human. Right.
It's almost, it's almost like there's not enough
bandwidth for the things that aren't there. Yes.
When you're not looking. Yeah. So it's like a
video game when like the, the, the models that
are in the distance are like fucking, you can't
even tell what they are. They're not rendered
yet. Yeah. And then when they, they get closer
to more and more, they get rendered. Exactly.
It's like every time that you look away from
Jeffrey Epstein, he kills himself. Right, right.
God. God damn it. Are people still talking about
that guy? Yeah, we're still talking about it.
Are you some kind of loser, bro? We're now on
like the Trump pedophile memes, which I think
is hilarious. Look, dude, I'm beyond all that.
If you guys want to stay behind. You're beyond
it. If you guys want to stay behind and talk
about Epstein. All right there, Epstein Island.
And you want to be in the trenches. Epstein Island,
what are you talking about? Have seen never existed.
Donald Trump's going to go down as probably the
worst president in American history. It's going
to be fucking funny. Dude, I'm just a bigger
person than all y 'all. I'm beyond it. All right
there, Jesus. I'm just joking. I think it's absolutely
absurd that we're just going to try and sweep
it under the rug. Dude, you know, Trump was like
fucking trying to get soldiers to pledge their
allegiance to MAGA. Who? He was like punishing
soldiers that didn't join MAGA. That's not true.
It is true. That's not fucking true. Casey, Casey,
you know the fuck you said the other day that
Barron Trump was dating Obama's daughter? And
he's like, yeah, that's 100 % true. That is true.
I saw it on the news. Brother, I don't believe
shit that you say because your fucking news sources
are probably fucking schizophrenics .com. But
you believe the Epstein thing, though. Probably
right. I believe that Alex Jones is winning everything.
Aren't you so happy that corruption is being
exposed, Dan? It's like a rebirth of a country.
Casey, where was all this smugness when the left
was getting, you know... You're fucking up the
mic. I don't fucking care. Where was all this
smugness when the left was getting pedophile
charges thrown at them? Hey, I dealt with this
shit too. The same... The same fucking situation.
Where was the smugness, though? You're like,
oh, this is a great thing. Pedophiles and stuff.
Yeah. Where was the same fucking thing for the
left? Joe Biden was just a suspected pedophile.
He didn't get charged with it. See, Dan? See
what's going on here? We've got to fix this echo.
We've got to echo. All right, we're back. What
is the process of monetizing this podcast? I
think RSS, the hosting site, was coming out with
a new dynamic ad insertion that you can do. So
we could just add ads? Yeah, but I think you
have to have people actually listen to it. Or
you could actually promote it. No. No. I'd rather
not. Bro, if you could make a living podcasting,
wouldn't you want to blow up? I mean, it beats
the fuck out of a regular job. This will never
blow up. This will never blow up because this
is so unmonetizable of a podcast that this would
get buried so fucking far. It's an underground
podcast. It's like the fucking Blair Witch Project.
Bro, we would be more buried than Alex Jones,
dude. We're dropping truth bombs on these people.
Let me ask you, Casey. I'm going back to the
Epstein thing for a second. Don't you think that
Joe Biden would have released something if they
had it on Donald Trump? Yeah. About Epstein's
Island. And then it was said, fucking Joe Biden's
faking this to make Trump look bad. And don't
you think, like... Would you have believed it
if Joe Biden released a file that said Trump
was, you know, on Epstein's Island? Would I have
believed it? He did, multiple times. Trump? No,
no, fucking Biden did. Biden released some names,
I think, on the list. Dude, there was never a
push to release that Donald Trump had been on
the planes, right? Multiple times he went on
his planes. But now we see how connected to Epstein
he was. We already knew that, retard. Yeah, but
we paid him like a billion dollars. But they're
not pursuing it. The left isn't going after it,
right? So, like, they didn't go after it when
Joe Biden was in office. Why didn't they go after
it? If they had Trump dead to rights, they would
fucking nail him to the cross. Right, and they
didn't because they're guilty too. Like, dude,
a lot of these people are fucking sick, bro.
Like, a lot of the people in, like, big business
and, like, in the government at the upper echelon
are fucking sick. That's why he didn't do it.
Because Biden's probably on the list and so is
Bill Clinton and so is all the other fucking
Democrats and Republicans. So all the people
at the bottom want to have this conversation,
but nobody at the top does. Johnny Silverhand
was right. It's all run by the same people. Dude,
was Trump on Epstein's Island banging kids? Yes.
Dude, I mean, I could see him having sex with
a 17 -year -old on Epstein's Island. I wouldn't...
That's a possibility, dude. I don't know. We
already know he was around that kind of behavior.
I still don't like the fact that Japan's age
of consent is 13. Oh, yeah. Let's not talk about
that. I don't like... You know what it is in
the UK? 16? 16. Yeah. People here would have
a fucking nuclear meltdown. I mean, New York,
it's 17. Yeah. I mean, dude, the thing is, like,
I think I talked about this on the podcast. I
was watching King Queens. You remember that show?
Yeah. James. Yeah. And he said in one of the
episodes, he's like. He's like, why can't these
people just get a hot 16 -year -old babysitter
like normal people? And I'm like, dude, you could
never. The 90s were a different time. You could
never say that today. Just in that period of
time, how much things have changed. Because that
was like 2001, 2002 when that show was out. Maybe
a little earlier. I mean, there's some funny
shit going on with Carnival Cruise Lines. Have
you seen that? No. They're not banning black
people from it. But it's pretty they're banning
black people from Carnival, Carnival Cruise.
How? So Carnival Cruise is the cheapest cruise
line that there's that they have out there. And
it was known for being degenerate. Like if you
look up on like any fucking YouTube like video
or like Google, if you type in Carnival Cruise
ratchet fight or Carnival Cruise fight or like
whatever, you're going to see a whole bunch of
people. on the deck, just punched each other.
And you know, the whole, like throwing a chair
at 20 miles per hour at somebody and shit. Yeah.
Like all that fucking insane shit. So carnival
cruise came out with a new, um, with a new, uh,
policy and their new policy is. Black people
are very upset about this. I've seen probably
like 50 videos on black people being like, they
out here banning black people. So here's the
new policy. They're banning JBL speakers, speakers
in general, but JBL speakers. The brand? Yeah.
But they're banning speakers in general, but
they specified that one specifically for some
reason. I own like three of those. They're banning.
Weed smoking on board. I own that. They are banning
rap music. I own that, too. In general. There
is no rap music being played at any of the clubs
in the entire fleet of Carnival Cruises. What
if it's R &B? Wow. They banned all rap music.
What if it's R &B? I think R &B is fine, but
rap music, no. What if it's an R &B song featuring
a rap artist? It's too much. But yeah, they did
that. No weed. And there's a curfew for people.
I think it's past 1 a .m. You have to be back
in your cabin. Now that sounds like no fun. Sounds
like not a fun cruise at all. Damn. Yeah. I think
there's other things in there, but that was like
the main ones in there. Hysterical. That there's
like we're banning rap music. I want to find
out more about that. cruise that was like the
poop cruise. Oh, the poop cruise? You never...
I watched a documentary on that. Yeah, there
was a Netflix. No, I watched one on YouTube before
the thing. But yeah, the poop cruise seems terrible.
Like, why? I have been on a cruise before. Not
a fan. You get seasick? No, no. It's just...
It's so big. You only have X amount of days.
And... you have X amount of islands that you
go to or like places that you go to. And like
these places are cool to visit, but I'm like,
I want more than five hours at this place. Like
type things. Like I went to Mexico. What type
shit type shit. Yeah. Yeah. Like I went to Mexico,
like as part of my cruise and Mexico, I had four
and a half hours to explore Mexico. An entire
country. Wow. They gave me four and a half hours.
Damn. I couldn't do much in four and a half hours
in Mexico. In a place like Grand Cayman, where
I'm going for my honeymoon, actually. Grand Cayman's
an island in the Atlantic there. Like the Bahamas
area. Just like the general area there. It's
an English colony still. But Grand Cayman, the
four hours it took me. I was able to circle the
island in four hours. Oh, wow. In a car. And
we made four stops, too, and stayed there for
20 minutes apiece. So going around the entire
island, I think, would take you two hours just
to circle the whole island on a car. Also, there
is no guns allowed on that island unless you're
the police. That's how it should be. Wait, which
island is this? Grand Cayman. That's because
it's British, and they do the right thing in
Britain. Isn't that the... Who's the guy that
owns that? Mr. Dart. The cup guy? Mr. Dart, yeah.
I don't remember what he ran, but his name was
Mr. Dart. Dart Cups. Was it Dart? Yeah. Was it
Dart Cups? No, that's Solo. Like the red Solo
Cups? Yeah, but they're similar. Hold on a sec.
Just look up anything in fucking Grand Cayman
and it's probably owned by Mr. Dart. It's a beautiful
place, though. It really is. It's a beautiful
island. Dart Container Corporation. Keith, no.
Keith Clark is the CEO. Subsidiary Solo Cup.
Really? Yeah, they own Solo. No shit. But, yeah,
I mean, all in all, that island's beautiful.
I didn't even get off for Jamaica, actually.
I was I overslept. And by the time that I woke
up, I was we were we're docked in Jamaica. And
because Ike, that's another thing. If like you
got like a couple of days like of like you have
normally like two or three days where you're
just at sea, like nothing's like you're not stopping
any islands or anything. But we had three days
in a row where we stopped at islands. And the
third day was Jamaica. And I just was fucking,
I was beat. I fucking woke up at like 10 a .m.
And we were already docked for two hours. And
they were leaving at 2 p .m. And I'm like. Some
people just live on cruise ships. It's cheaper
than an apartment. Yeah, but I just kind of,
I was like. I'm just going to stay on the ship
for today. So me and my fiance just walked around.
But, like, the thing is, cruise ships like a
small city, like, floating. It's insane how that
floats. Like, I know it has buoyancy, like, all
this shit. But, like, it fucking, it really freaks
me out how cruise ships and, like, battleships
and all that shit are able to float. Like, how
the fuck is that able to float? Like, look at
a fucking aircraft carrier. Yeah. You ever see,
like, an aircraft carrier in person? yeah it's
fucking wild dude they're bigger than the fucking
like like a city like like a small town around
here an aircraft carrier could fit if you scrunched
it in like this you could fit a small town in
an aircraft carrier yeah like when i was down
where the fuck did i see an aircraft carrier
i know i saw one oh down in florida they were
doing like like they were doing like refueling
stuff and like one of the docks and there was
just a legit aircraft carrier i'm like Holy shit,
that's a fucking aircraft carrier. But aircraft
carriers are fucking scary, dude. They're huge.
Like a fucking cruise ship is fucking massive,
and then that fucking aircraft carrier makes
that look small. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like
I walked up to the cruise ship before I got on,
and I looked up, and I'm like, that's like a
building on its side. It's fucking crazy. I've
never been on a cruise ship. It's all right.
My brother's graduating high school this year.
Not this year, like 2026 he's graduating. And
I have to go on a cruise for that because that's
my brother's graduation gift. They already got
it for him, so I got to go on a cruise ship again.
I wouldn't go on a cruise ship if I had a choice
type thing. I'll fucking go for you if you don't
want to go. It's for my brother's graduation.
I got to be there for him. But if I was to choose
the vacation, I don't think I'd choose a cruise
ship personally. Not something I would do, personally.
I mean, I like going to destinations. I like
driving. I like driving to where I'm going. That's
one of my favorite things. I enjoy driving. You
get that. You enjoy cars. You like driving, I
feel like. Yeah, oh yeah. For work, I had to
drive up to Vermont, close to the border, close
to the Canadian border there. great drive, like
four and a half hours. I was like, this is awesome.
Drove it through the mountains of fucking Vermont.
Like, I feel like it's fun until it's not. I
feel like sometimes like I've gone on road trips
and I get all the way there and I'm like, fuck,
I got to drive all the way back. This fucking
blows. I think I'm falling asleep. I think the
thing where driving down to a vacation or driving
up to a vacation, wherever you're like driving.
whatever direction you're driving, driving to
the vacation is always fun because you're like,
all right, I get to go on vacation. This is awesome.
Well, man, we'll stop at fucking this cool rest
stop that I saw. And then on the way back, you're
like, I got to go back to my fucking real life.
Yeah. It's the worst. Yeah. Like, uh, as soon
as I get enough money to retire, I'm fucking
retiring. I want to retire now. Speaking of that,
how's unemployment, Dan? I got to write a jingle
for that segment. Unemployment with Dan. It's
fucking amazing, dude. It's unemployment with
Dan. I wish everybody could experience it, you
know? When you save up a year's salary and you
can just relax, you know? Just take some time
off. Not have to worry about, and it's not like,
like, dude, this is the most fucked up thing
about having a job. I'm an adult, right? And
I have to ask another adult if I can take time.
And it's like, this is my fucking life. That's
why I kind of just want to be a business owner,
dude. Because then you can just be like, oh,
I'm going to take a vacation. I don't have to
ask anybody. You know what really pissed me off
about that specifically? So currently, I have
nothing on my desk. I finished all my work that
I've had. It's a slow time of year with hurricane
seasons just starting up. So we haven't really
got anything to do So there's nothing on my desk
There's no like like claims that I have like
for me and I'm just sitting in my fucking desk
and I'm like, hey I'm just gonna go and they're
like Oh another half day for you Lee. I'm like
I literally have nothing on my desk. Do you want
me to sit here and fucking pretend to type on
a fucking keyboard? Is that going to make you
guys feel better? I'm like, there's nothing for
me to do. I don't have a claim to do. I finished
all my claims. You checked all my claims. You've
done all this. I've gotten all my shit through.
I've got nothing to do. Tyler, what would you
say you do here? Nothing. I don't do anything.
So you don't have any work left. Are you salary?
Yeah. All right. So you don't have any work left
to do and they're giving you a hard time about
leaving. I got, I have, I'm currently in the
process of getting like fully certified. Like
I'm able to work under the company's license,
but I gotta, I'm trying to get licensed on my
own. They're like, yeah, but you can study. I'm
like, I studied for four hours here. Like I can't
study for more than four hours. Like I'm one
of those guys where I'm like, there's nothing
more than I'm going to gain after. Like I spent
the entire, like for like I get in, I get in
before most people. I get in like 8 .30, and
when everybody else was supposed to get in at
9, I get in at 8 .30. I sit at my desk, and I'm
studying for fucking four hours for this fucking
test. Damn. What test? Test on what? It's the
New York insurance adjusters test. It's fucking
bullshit. It's a whole bunch of fucking nonsense,
because most of this stuff, I got down. It's
the stuff that the questions that they're asking
you is like in subsection B of this certain policy
in section three of subsection B in paragraph
a, what is the, I'm like, I don't, I didn't fucking
memorize the entire fucking paper. I didn't memorize.
And like everybody I talked to, it's like, you
know, when you're fucking going through medic
school, everybody's like, you're not going to
fucking use that. Like, I don't know why they
make you do that. Like they're, they're telling
me the same thing. They're like, so you're going
to have the policy in front of you when you're
looking at it. Like you're not going to memorize
a fucking entire thing. You're going to go subsection
B, a paragraph like a, like that thing. All right.
Yeah. It's right there. Like, but the test wants
you to memorize it for no reason, just because
they want to be a fucking harder test. Yeah.
Like I, I hate shit like that. Like it's just
busy work. It's busy work. And I'm like, And
like, they're like, oh, but you could, you could
study for a little bit longer. I'm like, I literally
have words burned in my fucking irises right
now. Yeah. Fuck that dude. Like, like I'm like,
I get it. I, and I like, once I get certified
and stuff, then I can start going out and fishing
for my own claims, which will make my, my life
a lot busier and things go by faster. But until
that point, all I'm doing is fucking studying.
Yeah. And I have to wait until I think. the start
of september to even take the test so i'm just
fucking sitting there going just smashing my
head off a fucking keyboard for soul sucking
that fucking sucks like like that's the thing
but i'm getting fucking paid disgusting amounts
of money just to fucking sit there and do that
and i'm like what the fuck is going on here like
like i'm like i was killing myself and i was
making fucking ten dollars less an hour like
at my old job like it's fucking unbelievable
like i don't get it i don't get it i don't get
corporate shit i really don't fucking get it
like i i and the thing is i know i'm complaining
i i'm happy just get a big gaming pc just play
games i wish i could i wish i could but then
my fucking boss is coming like what the fuck
are you doing could you literally like just be
doing nothing though make like looking busy Yeah.
I like yesterday, yesterday I literally just
put my fucking headphones on and I had my study
material up and I would just pretend that I'm
scrolling and I'm just listening to Joe Rogan.
He's like, remember when Peter was like, yeah,
I literally just sit there for like an hour after
lunch and then I do the same thing like an hour
before I leave. I just stare at the desk. But
yeah, I just, I just sit there and I'm like scrolling
through and like, I'm like. Yeah, like when somebody
comes in, I'm just like, oh, yeah, huh? What?
Yeah. Okay, yeah. Fucking asshole. Back to typing.
Dude, that's like when I think about like having
another job, I think about like all the fucking
bullshit I have to learn. And just like, oh,
this is how we do this here. And then these papers,
we put those in this file. And then we have a
spreadsheet where we log that, that we put that
in this file over here. And it's just like, dude,
I cannot. I would rather live like my brother,
dude. He literally sells a couple cars a month,
right? Goes to the auction, buys them. Like he
just bought this BMW. um i think he bought it
for like six thousand seven thousand maybe he's
listening to this sold it for ten thousand right
put a couple things into it it's like dude that's
the shit i do for fun like and then you sell
a couple cars a month and like my brother just
selling like two cars in a month is he like flipping
cars or is he like an actual he's a dealer oh
he's a dealer yeah he owns a dealer so if he
just sells a couple cars a month he makes like
double what I make in a month. What I made in
a month. Dude, that's the thing. Car salesmen
can make fucking unbelievable money if you're
good at your job. Yeah, there's some car salesmen
that make like $200 ,000 a year. Yeah, if you're
good at your job as a car salesman, you can make
fucking unbelievable money. But you have to be
good at your job. If you're not good at your
job, you're fucked. You're fucked. Dude, but
I mean, think about the downtime that like my
brother has. He day trades while he's selling
his cars. Just think about that. After the car's
fixed up, it's like, what are you doing? You're
waiting for it to sell. You're just looking for
other cars. Bro, you could be a farmer. You live
on a farm. Fuck that. You could be a farmer and
sell ears of corn for fucking 30 cents a piece.
I was watching a video about how much farmers
make and they're like, yeah, well, we sell $200
,000 a year and our running costs are also $200
,000. So we made a profit of like $10 ,000 last
year. I'm like, what? How's that profitable?
I mean, the $2 ,000 quote that they're saying
also encapsulates their house and all that. So
they pay all their bills and stuff, and they
get $10 ,000 on top of that type thing. It's
not much, but it's honest work. They were talking
about how sometimes they're negative, though.
They have a net loss for the year. So I was looking
into farm policy today, actually. That was one
of my study things that I was doing. And farm
policy is different than standard commercial
policy and housing policy because you can't have
a house policy cover a house on a farm because
a farmhouse is considered a different type of
property than just standard housing property.
Really? Yeah. I thought it was weird too, but
I looked into it and that's like – there's reasoning
behind it like because you can use a farmhouse
for – farming capabilities like you can keep
like livestock and stuff like in like your your
stuff so they have to be able to ensure a different
way huh so farm farm policy is completely different
than fucking standard housing policy however
i'm not doing fucking farming policy but i still
have to learn it right which fucking is annoying
I'm doing standard property and I'm getting fucking
marine inland insurance that I got a fucking.
Do you know that marine inland insurance is a
thing? You know what that means? No. Marine inland
insurance is just fucking transporting goods
like a Mack truck. Marine inland. Marine is not
considered water and insurance. Huh? Aquatic
marine is considered or oceanic marine is considered.
the was what is what shipping like on like the
on like the ocean or like in like rivers is however
if you're doing if say you your brother wants
to ship a car like let's say that uh he puts
it on like a transport truck he can get marine
inland insurance for that car being transferred
that is different than oceanic marine because
oceanic marine has a whole bunch of other fucking
weird fucking policies that you have to fucking
put on there. But there's a whole bunch of fucking
stupid insurance shit that I'm fucking learning.
And it's just fucking like, this is just all
fucking like nerd book shit, you know? Yeah.
Like, I don't fucking care. Like, yeah, I get
it. I'm going to be fucking using this. But like,
you know, when you, at least when you were learning
about paramedicine, you're like, this could help
somebody someday. Right. There's a purpose. There's
a purpose. This, I'm just like, I'm just fucking.
I'm going to fucking argue with bureaucrats from
companies for the rest of my life with this shit.
Like I'm like, is this actually helping anybody?
Yeah. But dude, that's, so that's the trade off,
right? Like you're going to have a job that has
like a lot of purpose and you don't make a lot,
right? So you're kind of getting paid in another
way. Yeah. Right. So it's like filling you like
your fucking heart, not your wallet. Or you can
have the job where you're like, this is completely
fucking meaningless, but it pays well. So I'm
interested. Yeah. Like, I had to fucking talk
to a vice president of an undisclosed company.
It's a very famous company. But I had to argue
with one of them. CVS. No, but I had to argue
with them over fucking property that they damaged.
And they're just like, show us the pictures.
And I'm like, here's the fucking pictures. And
they're just like. Well, that could be from anything.
And I'm like, here's specifically what you fucked
up. And we have footage of this. And I'm like,
are you going to fuck us? Are we going to have
to sue you? Is it going to be fucking one of
these things? I'll be like, pay the $2 ,000.
You're a fucking multi -billion dollar company.
$2 ,000 is like pennies to you. Just fucking
pay us and then fucking wave us off. Like, that's
all you need to do. And they're like, well, it's
$2 ,000. And I'm like, okay. So we argued back
and forth. We argued for fucking four hours over
$37. Oh my God. A multi -billion dollar company
argued with me for $37. Wow. I'm like, bro, it's
37. I'll fucking take it out of my wallet right
now and just fucking do that. Here's $37. Leave
me the fuck alone. Just fucking close this for
me. I don't want this on my desk anymore. Here's
fucking $37. Get the fuck out of here. Jeez.
Because I ended up just going to my fucking company
and being like, can we just fucking like, I'm
like, I'm like, hold on. I'm going to put you
on hold real quick. And I just fucking go to
my boss. Can we just pay him $37? Just get this
fucking over with. I'm like, is this just fucking
annoying? I don't want to argue with this guy
for fucking five more hours over $37. And they're
like, fuck it. $37 there. Give it to him. I'm
like, thank you. I could have saved four hours
if I just fucking did that in the first place.
I'm like, here's $37. Fuck you. Click. So you
have to go ask your boss. My boss asked their
boss. It went up the fucking line for $37. That
probably costs of company time like two grand.
Yes. You're going to be like the guy who just
loses it on the fucking printer one day. Do you
guys do car insurance? Not my area, but we do
do car insurance. Think of an insurance, we do
it. Mine is commercial property. I always thought
that I would be good at like insurance adjusting
for cars, like working for Geico. I wanted to
do that, but they're like, there's no money in
it. Yeah, they make like 60 grand a year. But
I think I'd be good at it because I can literally,
like my girlfriend, when she had a turkey with
her car and it like ripped the roof open. Was
it turkey or grouse? Turkey. I don't know why
that matters for the start. But it hit the roof
rack and like peeled the top of her car open
like a tin can. A little bit. It wasn't that
bad, but it peeled it open a little bit. And
I like estimated almost exactly how much it would
cost to repair. You know, I was like, I'd be
good at that. We also have programs and shit
that help us out too. Like, you know, when you
can look at something and be like, all right,
that's about X amount of footage of drywall and
stuff. You're like, it's a half inch drywall.
You're like, if you just get the measurements
and the amount, like a thing, put it into the
system and it gives you a number. Oh shit. So,
like, I went to a thing I was doing for a...
What can I say here? For a company, I'll say.
I went in and somebody drove a car into it by
mistake. Like, it just burst through a window
and smashed the dressing room up. So I'm like,
okay. So I go there. Sounds like a personal problem.
I took some pictures. did like, you know, like
the measurements and stuff did my, my initial
like stuff came back and, um, came back to be
X amount of money. Um, wasn't even closer to
their deductible at all. Like wasn't even fucking
close. Like it's such like a, it was such a big
fucking company thing that the, uh, the money
that I, that I did was like 20 % of deductible.
And I'm like, They're like, oh, yeah, we'll eat
that then. I'm like, why did I fucking drive
eight hours then? Wow. Where did you drive to?
Vermont. Oh, eight hours. Into Vermont? Four
up, four back. Oh, gotcha. I was going to say,
is there anywhere in Vermont that's eight hours
away? No, no. But it was like northern, northern
Vermont. So it was four and a half hours -ish.
But I was doing that. I'm like, whatever. But,
like, there's so many things that I've had to
go to that didn't even reach a deductible, but
I had to travel, like, fucking good four hours
to get there. Right, but they don't really know
until you look at it. Yeah. But there's some
times where I would have to fly across the fucking
entire country to do that. And it's still, like,
they would have to pay for everything, and they'd
also have to pay me for coming out there. So.
Like, I don't get how any of this shit makes
money. Like, I don't get how insurance makes
money at all. Like, I get that you get, like,
the monthly payments from shit, but some of the
money that gets tossed around by these companies,
I'm like, how the fuck, where do you get this
from? You should see their income. It's probably,
like, fucking at least $100 million a year or
a month. A month, $100 million a month. Yeah,
$100 million a month. Depends on what company
you're talking about. Well, he's got like the
second biggest insurance company or some shit.
Oh, you're talking about the insurance company?
Yeah. How much they make? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Easily.
It's probably not even calculated like that.
It's probably just like the profit just probably
goes into like an account where they pay people
out of. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Damn. Side topic,
but you know about vitamins and shit, right?
Do I know about vitamins? You ever hear of the
brand Gully? Gully? Like fern gully? G -O -L
-I. goli yeah they make uh like vitamins that
are at cvs yeah like they they have like gummy
vitamins yeah yeah yeah so my wife fiance whatever
she get like apple cider vinegar gummies she
got like those and she got like fucking something
that's like super hard to pronounce like a fucking
word like that fucking long oh yeah i know that
word no but like she was asking if that company
was ever fucked with ashwagandha bro it's decent
yeah um Dude, I couldn't tell you if the company's
decent. I could tell you if the ingredients are
decent. I could get you photos of that. Oh, let
me see. I'll look it up right now. I'll have
her tell me what... Goli vitamins. I'm going
to be honest with you. Generally, anything you
buy at CVS is going to be shit. But I don't know.
I wouldn't know unless I saw it. Because sometimes
they surprise you. They actually have like methylated
good vitamins. I just had an interview with CVS
and they didn't get back to me for like five
weeks. An interview? Yeah. And I emailed them.
Doing what? Like a home health nurse. With CVS?
Infusion nurse. Yeah. That's fucking awesome.
Yeah. Well, she's like, oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot
to email you. Somebody else got the position.
Jesus Christ. Fuck you then. It looks like they
use a lot. Sorry, not to cut you off, Casey.
It looks like they use a lot of organic ingredients.
Is that a good thing? Yeah, that's good. So that
means that they're kind of on the right track.
It says does not contain. First thing is yeast.
That's good. Yeast is bad? Yeah, you know. So
I know we cover a lot of topics on this show.
I'll get into it real quick. So yeast is. sometimes
used in foods as a replacement for monosodium
glutamate because it converts to glutamate, glutamic
acid. And it's super excitatory. And when you
eat food that has that on it, it's like almost
addictive. So a lot of people have poor reactions
to yeast. And there's like activated, active
yeast and inactive yeast. Like the yeast that's
in bread and stuff, that's like inactive yeast.
Basically. I thought that was activated yeast.
No, it was active. I don't know. This is different.
You're thinking of like a live culture kind of
thing. It's not really live. You have to activate.
I've heard of that. Yeah, I've done that before.
You have to activate the yeast by putting it
in a bowl of water and sugar. Yeah, I'm not sure.
How the fuck does yeast do that? Hold on, let
me look it up. Is yeast alive? Yeah, it's an
organism. They produce alcohol and carbon dioxide.
Or no. And oxygen. But, like, how the fuck do
you just, like, revive them? Well, they're dormant.
So they're, like, hibernating. Basically. They're
a microorganism. And they just shut down when
they don't have any sugar. That's fucking so
wild. That's so wild. So, wait, hold on a sec.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, you're right. So active
is when they're alive. so but the thing is is
that the inactive is worse so one's worse than
the other right so that the active i apparently
i guess the one that's in bread is better for
you inactive is worse because they basically
modify it like a chemical and it's literally
like you know how when you eat doritos it just
you you could eat the entire fucking bag and
not be satisfied yeah it just you can keep just
piling cheetos or something right yeah right
and it's got that flavor to it it's like that
umami what's that because of the chemical Yeah,
so it's called umami, the flavor, right? Yeah.
So yeast and monosodium glutamate are two chemicals
that give you that flavor. Oh, MSG, right. Yeah,
yeah. So sometimes certain cheeses and stuff
give you the umami. Yeah, it's the stuff that
they use in Chinese food instead. Yeah, and a
lot of people get headaches from that shit, right?
They get migraines because it's super excitatory.
It's too excitatory. It's like sensory overload.
And it can cause like, like imbalances and shit,
but not to get into that, but, um, yeah. So dude,
it looks like they have pretty halfway decent
stuff, but it comes down to the exact vitamin
that, uh, that you're looking for. She's sending
me pictures like on breakout. I'll show you.
All right. Yeah. But, so like, I just, I, It
really feels for me personally, I'm, I'm going
like, I feel like I changed my entire fucking
world, you know, going from one job to another
that was like completely different, like fucking
pass and shit. And it's a really weird feeling.
Like I've never done something like that. Like
I've been blue collar jobs since I've been fucking
16 years old and just go switching directly to
a white collar job. It's like fucking. I was
a free -range cow for a long time, and they put
me into a dairy farm. It feels like that, or
the song Bullet With Butterfly Wings, despite
all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage type
shit. It feels wrong. I feel like a caged animal
almost. Yeah, tell me about it, bro. That's why
Dan just quit. Have you ever seen the movie Fight
Club? Yes. Right, of course you've seen the movie
Fight Club. You've seen everything. Don't talk
about it. I did an autistic movie review on it.
Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, he basically just
starts going insane because he's just like, he
feels like he's becoming like feminized sitting
at a desk. Yeah. Right, and I was like, working
at my job, I was just like, dude. I can see how
he became a terrorist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My one
coworker was like, she's like, you know, this
is kind of an old lady job, right? And I was
like, yeah i'm gonna get out of here i'm breaking
the fuck out and uh i told my one friend that
and she's like yeah but it's the best old lady
job she really likes it right because it's like
good for her lifestyle but dude me it's like
My brain is just like, I come up with a new idea
like every fucking 13 seconds, dude. And like
sitting at a desk, like punching in numbers,
like, oh, how long was this guy intubated for?
All right, let me pull up the calendar and let
me count the days, right? And I was just like,
dude, fuck this noise. Like you just, dude, and
then like sitting still, like men are just made
to move. Yeah. They're just designed to move.
I even told my boss, I'm like, look, you don't
see a lot of guys doing this job. Because men
just like cannot generally sit still. I think
that's just people with ADHD. I don't think it's
men. No, I think it is. Well, bro, look at office
jobs. It's like most office jobs are women. And
like most blue collar like out there like hammering
and shit jobs are men. I wouldn't say so. I think
it's about half and half. It's definitely not
half and half, Casey. It's like 85 % women. Like
15 % men in office jobs. No. Yeah, that's true.
Dude, it's like, you gotta think of secretaries
and shit like that. It's like, clerical work
is like 90 % women. Like, that's the thing that
makes me, like, when I do my job. Let me see.
When I actually get to go out on, like, claims
and stuff, it's nice because I get to go out
to a fucking fire scene or a flood scene or something,
and I get to walk around, take pictures, you
know, do measurements and stuff, work my fucking
hands, and then the other fucking 80 % of my
job is sitting at a desk going. It's like you
get to go out in the prison yard. Yeah. Yeah,
it is, like, going on in the prison yard. You
got yard for an hour today, Tyler. Like, the
thing is, like, and, like, at lunchtime, I don't,
like, as sad as it is, I don't even go out to
get lunch. I just leave my office for an hour
and I come back. Like, I'm just, like, I don't
want to be in the office for the entire day.
I'm just going to leave. And, like, like, I work
as, like, why don't I? Why don't you just bring
lunch? I'm like, I don't know. I don't like it.
So I just fucking, I fucking just go out and
I drive my car around for an hour every day.
Like I don't want to be in the fucking office.
I just want to be out for an hour. You know,
that's how I felt like at a college where it's
just like you're not doing anything active all
day. It sucks. I fucking, I just hate it. It's
so annoying. All right. So it says like administrative
rules are 90 % women. But if you include like
IT and stuff like that, like all office jobs,
no, it's 50%. But if you're talking about like
clerical roles, it's 90 % women. So I was right,
basically. No, you weren't right. Look it. JC,
I'm going to kick your ass at bad men. I let
you win on the first one. I missed on the first
two. Listen, I missed intentionally because I
said this is I'm about to win this and this is
going to be not that interesting. And I'm more
about having an interesting game. So I swung
and I missed intentionally. I kicked your ass
in front of the Greek flag yesterday. It was
dark. It was pitch black one. I know I couldn't
even see the ball. Wait, the fucking courts weren't
lit. No, no. I was thinking about fucking trespass.
So I'm going to kick. Let's take a break. I'm
going to kick your ass right now. All right.
We'll be right back. Here's the one that feels
good. Welcome back to Jeffrey Epstein. Podcast.
Are we back? Yeah. Uh, here with your, uh, 16
-time winner, Dan. Oh, yeah. Vitamin man. 36
or something like that time winner, Tyler. 37.
37. So it's 37 to 16 to 9, or did Ali back in
one? Something like that. Dan, you been brushing
up with your unemployment on American history?
No. Not at all. Brushing up on Metal Gear Solid.
Brushing up on tennis and fucking badminton,
that's for sure. Yeah. Dude, it's just because
you roasted me three games in a row. I was like,
dude, I was like pissed the entire time. From
the start of the podcast to the time we took
that break, I was like, what the fuck, dude?
What the fuck is going on with your sub pump?
I don't know. Oh, shit. That was going on since
the time I was over there. Yeah, it's just running.
uh categories you got physicists uh cash crop
of the state oh my god animal idioms let them
cook scam artists uh losing my religion and guess
the number jesus do you just think of a number
we just gotta guess who won last time uh dan
dan won by one point all right let's do guess
the number guess the number It's gonna be whoever
who's ever closer to the the number. Oh fuck
you both get a guess Number of words. Where's
the buzzer thing? Yeah, you don't need it for
this one you both get to Don't tell me it's dead
No fucking way no fucking way it's dead again
All right pauses Alright, guess the number. You
don't need your buzzer for this one. A number
of words listed in Oxford's English Dictionary.
What is 3 million? 3 million. What is 4 .5 million?
The correct answer was 600 ,000. Tyler gets it.
Wait, he said 4 million. Yeah. Correct answer
was 600 ,000. So Tyler's closer. I said 3 million.
I thought you said 6 million. No, I said 3. Oh,
Dan gets it then. Yes. There's only 600 ,000
words in the dictionary? Yeah. Dan's pick. I
feel like there's more words than that. I do
feel like there's more words than that. Same
category. 400. Numbers of seconds in a year.
Oh, God. You could figure this out. But I'm going
to take a guess for the sake of time. So if it's,
hold on, in a fucking six... Can we do some longhand
math here? Jesus fucking Christ. All right, we'll
do... In a year? Yeah, in a year. Fuck you, dude.
365 calendar days. Stop saying numbers. 24 hours
in one day. 24 -7. Eight days a week. All right,
give me your guess, Daniel. So, I don't know.
What is, let's say, $35 million. Dan says $35
million. $35 .6 million. $35 million? I'm going
with like $20 million. The answer was $31 .5
million. Oh, my God. Yes. God. Wow, Dan. That's
crazy. That's fucking nuts. Oh, yeah. Same category.
600. Total number of songs released by the Beatles.
Oh, God. All right. I'm going to say 325. All
right. I'd say 102. You said 102? Yeah. The answer
was 213. Get to be what do you say 325 325? I
said a hundred that's 112 off 102 That's a hundred
and Did we just dead fucking Center that shit
wait, what'd you say? 320. 325? I don't remember.
Yeah, it was 325. That was 112 off, so Tyler
gets it. Are you fucking kidding me? We split
that down the middle. 111, 112. Wow. Damn. We
split that right down the middle. Wow. That is
a wild coincidence. Yeah. Damn, Tyler's back.
I guess keep it going. 800, the Roman numeral.
M -C -M -X -C -I -X stands for this year in our
calendar. Can I see the lettering? M -C -M. M
-C -M? No, don't let him see it. M -C -M -X -C
-I -X. M -C -M -X -C -I -X. Hold on a sec. I
-X. Can I see it? Yeah, yeah. All right, let
me look at it. Is the actual right answer underneath
it or no? No. Tyler chose 2019. I'm just going
to, I don't know. I can't figure it out. I just
know the C's are 100s. The M's are 1 ,000. The
X is 10. But I don't know what the fucking I
is. One, right? Yeah, it's one. All right. I'm
going to say 2021. The answer was 1999. Oh, shit.
Tyler gets it. Nice, nice. It was 1999? Yep.
I don't know how, but okay. Tyler's big. I was
10 years old. How many are left in that category?
One. 1 ,000. This is the atomic number of gold
on a periodic table. Oh, fuck. Oh. Tyler says
49. Dan's like atomic number of gold. Fuck. I
did a project on silver and I know it's one below
it. So I think I got it right. I'm going to say
48. 48. The correct answer was 79. Ah, damn it.
You got physicist, cash crop, animal idioms,
let them cook, scam artists, and losing my religion.
What are the scores right now? Ty's got 2 ,400.
Dan's got 600. Damn. I guess losing my religion.
200. Once an Anglican priest, this evolutionary
scientist on the origin of species made waves
and enemies in religious circles. Say it again.
Once an Anglican priest. What is Charles Darwin?
Fuck. Fuck, I knew that. I just didn't know he
was a priest. I didn't know either. 400. In religious
context, this is someone who maintains beliefs
that contradict the established doctrines of
the religion. Who is it? What is a heretic? Yes.
Fuck. Good. Good thing you got it. Wait, what
were you going to say? An apostate. I think they're
the same thing. That was, yeah, that was close.
That was actually really similar. Tyler. You
say it's a daily double. What? I said religion.
Oh, it's not the Daily O. Why'd you take so long?
I didn't hear you. I said religion. This 19th
century German philosopher declared God is dead,
challenging traditional Christian morality. Say
it again. 19th century German philosopher declared
God is dead, challenging... Who's Friedrich Nietzsche?
Oh, yes. I was gonna say fucking him. Damn. I
was thinking Nietzsche's for some reason, though.
Like, I was like... Frederick Meeches. I'm like,
fuck, it's not that. Damn, it's big. Damn. Same
category. 800. This English king ditched the
Pope and founded the Church of England just to
dump his first wife. Who's Edward VIII? No. Ah,
fuck. It's King Henry. What? King Henry. King
Henry, no. That'd be more specific, actually.
Who's Henry V? Oh, no. It was Henry VIII. Yes.
Jesus. What are the scores now? I got 3 ,800.
Dan's got 1 ,200. Damn. Time's back. Religion,
I guess. Thousand. This American founding father
famously cut all the miracles out of the Bible
in his personal version. Oh, fuck. I'm getting
pissed that I don't know this one. Dan, do you
know this? No idea. Just time it out. I fucking
know it. Time it out. It's Thomas Jefferson.
Fuck you. Come on. Dan, you got physicists. No,
it's mine. Tyler, you got physicists, cash crop,
animal idioms, let them cook, scam artists. Let's
do states. Cash crop of the state, 200, Kansas.
What is corn? Corn, no. What is wheat? Wheat,
yes. What is corn? No. Wheat, yeah. Dan's pick.
Same category. 400, Iowa. What is corn? Corn,
yes. I had to get it sometime. Same category.
600, Idaho. What is potatoes? Fuck. Can you move
that out of the way? I can't see that. I got
a hole. Tyler's back. Cash crops. 800, New York.
Was apples? Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't immediately
buzz in on that one. No, I didn't. Really? You
didn't know New York was apples? No, I mean,
I know they're known for apples, but. Cash crop.
1 ,000. You got 5 ,200. What's the dance score?
1 ,600. We'll just do 1 ,000. 1 ,000. Mississippi.
Mississippi. They're a cash crop? Yeah. The most
widely grown crop. Mississippi? The fuck is Mississippi
known for? First of all, what crops are there?
Like, what are the big crops? There's meat, there's
corn, there's potatoes, there's, you know, all
the ones that we said so far. What did you eat
today? What did you have for breakfast? Egg and
cheese. Egg and cheese? Egg and cheese on a biscuit.
Or on a wrap. On a wrap. So it was a wheat wrap.
Yeah. What did you have for lunch? You make me
hungry. I skipped lunch today. Yeah, for dinner.
Fettuccine Alfredo. What was your last oral intake?
Yeah. What the fuck is Mississippi known for?
Barbecue? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I
know like beef and like, you know, shit. Mississippi.
You got to think. It's got to be something that
requires a lot of water. Bourbon? I know bourbon
wheat. Bourbon bailey? What's bourbon made out
of, bailey? What? What's bourbon made out of,
baileys? Bourbon? It's made out of... Wait. Bourbon
is made out of corn. Yeah. I'm just going to
go with fucking oranges. I think it's probably
soy. He says oranges. Soy or something. No, it
would be cotton. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Next
question. Tyler's pick. Mississippi burning.
Physicists, animal idioms, let them cook, scam
artists. Animals. Animal idioms. 200. This saying
is an unofficial. Tribunal, where due process
usually goes right out the window. What is it?
Kangaroo? Ah, fuck. Tyler. Animals. $400. You
got $4 ,400. Dan's got $1 ,600. I'll go with
$2 ,000. $2 ,000? Damn. Trump may be unpopular,
but it's not until January 20th, 2029 that he
becomes this. What is it? Lame duck? Yes. Damn.
God damn it. God damn it. Damn. Still in it,
though. Animal idiom. Six under it. This is someone
who hides malicious intent under a friendly appearance
and might scare a little red riding hood. There's
a wolf in sheep's clothing. Yes. Damn. Well,
I'm about done here. If you get the rest of them,
you're good. Yeah. On to 800. Yeah. This animal
appeared in Alice in Wonderland and was later...
Was there such a cat? Oh, no. Oh, fuck. Was later
the subject of a trippy song by, what? What is
White Rabbit? Yeah. Fuck. Can't kick Danwise
down there. Tyler's pick. Is there a thousand
left on that one? Yeah. A detective might be
familiar with this fishy term, which means something
that misleads or distracts from the real issue.
What is a red herring? Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. I thought
that was a bird. A red herring. Uh, Dan, you
got physicist. Let him cook. Scam artist. Let
him cook. Let him cook. 200. This surname of
a 20th century German physicist. This is Walter
White's chosen alias. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on a second. Hold on. Yeah. It's a say it
again. The name of a 19th... 20th century German
physicist. This is Walter White's chosen alias.
Oh, who's Heisenberg? What? Who is Heisenberg?
Yes. Come on. That was fucked up. You can't do
that. That was only 200, so... That was fucked
up. Alright, fine, whatever. Dance pig. 400,
this... This household cold medicine once freely
sold over the counter is now locked up. What
is Sudafedrin? What is Robitussin? No, that's
Sudafedrin. Damn gather. Oh, oh, oh. No, I think
we both got that. Who buzzed in on the thing?
I had number one. It was on the board. However,
I think Robitussin still counts for that. No,
it doesn't. Well, if you buzzed in, then you
get negative points. You can get Robitussin at
storage. Gay. Sudafedrin is... Alright, Dan's
pick then. Same category. 600. Daily Noble. Oh!
True daily. True daily now. 3200. Time's up.
7 ,400? Whatever. True Daily Double. Oh, damn.
I give a fuck. You're either back in the game
or you fucked yourself completely. I don't care.
Might have to phone a friend on this one. You
might cook your crystal with this kind of flask,
which has a flat bottom, a conical body, and
cylindrical neck and is used for measuring liquids.
Oh, fuck. This kind of flask. You should call
Ali. No, no calling anybody. I'm going to fix
this delay. Dan's walking around the basement
pacing. Dan. Dan, so it's you might cook your
crystal with this kind of flask, which has a
flat bottom, a conical body and cylindrical neck
and is used for measuring liquid. Did you take
chemistry, Dan? You took chemistry. Oh, that
sucks. You should call Alimak. I failed chemistry,
but I know what this is. He doesn't get a fucking
phone friend. I just, even if it's not his points,
I still want to see if Alimak gets the question.
Does it have flask in the word? Yes. It's a kind
of flask. How about those Mets? Haven't they
been positive since, like, fucking Grimace threw
out the pitch? What? Haven't they been positive
since Grimace threw out the pitch? Grimace? Yeah,
last year when Grimace threw out the pitch. Who's
Grimace? The fucking purple nutsack from McDonald's.
Never heard of him. You never heard of Grimace?
We might have to go to McDonald's after this.
For what? Fucking food. You might cook your crystal
with this kind of flask, which has a flat bottom,
conical body, and cylindrical neck. It's used
for measuring liquid. Are these all crystal math
questions? Pretty much. Dude, you gotta call
Alimac. No, you can't call Alimac. If you, if,
if Ally Mac helps you, I'll give you half the
points. No, you don't even get half the points.
I'll give Ally Mac a thousand points next time.
If you call. No. All right, I'll give you a clue.
No, no, you can't. You never give me clues. Don't
give a fucking clue. That's fucking not fair.
Dad didn't take chemistry. Yeah, I failed chemistry.
Well, you actually took it, though. Yeah, but
I failed it. I got a 50. Dad, it's a word you
might hear a paramedic say. That's not fair.
That is so broad, Tyler. That's not fair. He's
never going to get it from that. That's not fair.
He's wagering all his points here. That's not
fair. He's literally putting his life on the
line. He's putting his balls to the wall. He's
putting his fucking off. He's putting the fucking
team on his back right now. The what? He's putting
the team on his fucking back. The team of what?
Dan and the ghosts? Yeah. The team of... Well,
it seems like Alibeck and Dan have a little posse
jeopardy. Hey, you can't do that! Yeah, yeah,
call him. Yeah, he texted you in that group chat
for the bachelor party. Yeah. He's not going
to answer. Yes, he's Albert Epstein. He doesn't
get the points. He just doesn't get minus points.
Let's do. What? If Ali Mack gets it? If Ali Mack
gets it, Dan doesn't get his points minus, but
he doesn't get any points. I'll give Ali Mack
a thousand points if he answers this phone. What
is a crystallite flask? Oh, damn. All right,
that would be an Erlenmeyer flask or a titration
flask. No idea. Never would have gotten that.
Titration. You would have got that. All right,
Dan's still in it. Didn't I say that word to
you? Didn't I say the word titration? Didn't
I say? Hold on a sec. I said to you in the group.
Let me see what context this was under. I said
it recently. You said titration? Yes. What was
the titration context? Oh, it was when you forgot.
Oh, with the air conditioning. You didn't know
that you had to push the button. And I said,
Casey, you titrate life -saving medications in
the emergency room. All right, that's fine. Sometimes
the pump's not on, bro. You gotta unpause it.
Dad can still come back if he gets all the questions
right. Let him cook for 800. When amateurs don't
ventilate their labs properly, this deadly byproduct,
also found in pools, can kill you faster than
your product. What is chlorine gas? Chlorine?
No. I was going to say chlorine as well. Say
it again. When amateurs don't ventilate their
labs properly, this deadly byproduct, also found
in pools, can kill you faster than your product
ever will. In pools? Don't time it out. Yeah,
fuck it. Whatever. Found in pools. Alright, I'm
giving your points back because this actually
does not technically found in pools. Oh, what
the fuck, then? That would be phosphine gas.
What the fuck is phosphine? I don't know. I don't
know why it said it was in pools, but... Huh.
One thousand. One step in meth production involves
turning ephedrine into meth using this shiny
metal. Same stuff you find in campfire stoves
and old batteries. God, it could be a couple
things. What is lithium? Yes. Fuck, dude. Really?
Yep. Lithium? I was going to say like cadmium.
Tyler, you got physicist and scam artist. We'll
go with scam artist because physicist, I have
no idea. 200. Pump and dump is a scam where crooks
hype this kind of asset, then sell their shares
for profit when the price spikes. What is crypto?
No. Say it again. Pump and dump is a scam where
crooks hype this kind of asset, then sell their
shares for profit. What is a stock? Be more specific.
What kind of stock? Say it again. Crypto fucking
works for that, dude. Oh, yeah, it actually does.
Just say it again. Pump and Dump is a scam where
crooks hype this kind of asset and sell their
shares for profit. They do that with stocks.
I'll give you the points for that. Yeah, give
us both points. Penny stocks. Give us both points.
All right. It's not crypto, though. It's stocks.
No, it is crypto. You can do that with crypto,
though. You can't do it with crypto, actually.
Yeah, you can. Pump and Dump, they did that with
Bitcoin. Yeah, they did that with Bitcoin. They
did it with, like, several other things. They
rug pulled them. That's how they did the Bitcoin
thing. Fine. I'm not going to win anyway. I don't
know why I'm fighting. 400. In the 1920s Paris,
Victor Lusting pulled off one of the boldest
scams ever. He sold this landmark to scrap metal
dealers twice. Where's the Eiffel Tower? Yes.
How does that happen? I got a bridge to sell
you. I don't know. They're fucking stupid, I
guess. It's like I got a fucking bridge in Brooklyn
I want to sell you. 600. This type of online
romance contracts lonely people into wiring money
to someone they've never actually met. You want
like the name of the scam? Yeah. The romance
scam? It was a Nigerian prince scam. No. Is it
the honey pot? No. What is the mail order bride
scam? Time it out. That's catfishing. 800. Selling
oceanfront property in this famously dry desert
state is a joke. How far on the negative am I?
No, you're positive now. 400. Oh, nice. Same
category. Thousand. This institution run by an
American businessman which offered real estate
education programs. It's Trump University. Oh,
yeah. I know you have like a fucking complex
where you're obsessed with him. He has to pay
something about fucking Trump. Every fucking
episode will die. Marketing and high pressure
sales tactics, Tyler. Can you go jerk off to
Trump somewhere else, dude? Because it's fucking
getting out of hand. It's not funny anymore.
It's actually kind of sad at this point. Let's
be fucking real. It's real fucking sad. Yeah,
like when you're talking about Biden. All right.
Dance big. I didn't bring up Biden every fucking
day, though. I would actually talk about cool
shit like goth girls and titties. Yeah, I still
like goth girls. But not titties? No. Danny got
physicists. He doesn't like tits. Physicists.
Is he gay? 200. When the Inquisition forced him
to recant his belief that Earth orbited the sun,
he reportedly said, and yet it moves. Who is
Galileo? Yes. I didn't pause it in time. Come
on. Dan. 400. He said a falling apple inspired...
Mr. Isaac Newton. Oh, yes. You're faster on the
buzzer, dude. Coming back, Dan. It's that crack
or something. Dan, 600. She and her husband,
Pierre, researched radioactivity. That's it?
Yep. Say it again. She and her husband, Pierre,
researched radioactivity. It could be either,
technically. Her and her husband? Yeah. Is there
a certain device named after them? No, it's just
like a historical person. Can I just give the
last name? No, I don't think you're going to
get it. Okay, can I just say the last name? Sure.
It is Sievert. Oh, no, I'm talking about Marie
Curie. Oh, man. I was thinking Geiger. Oh, Geiger.
Yeah, but isn't it measured in Sieverts? No,
it's measured in Geiger. Never heard of that.
Oh, that sucks. Stand by. What is a Sievert?
Anyway, 800. To explain quantum superposition...
Hold on, hold on, hold on a sec, hold on a sec.
Let me put this down. Get ready. It doesn't even
have to do with the question. To explain quantum
superposition, he proposed a famous thought experiment
involving a household pet. Who's Schrodinger?
Ah, Schrodinger's, yeah. Schrodinger's cat. Dan,
finally for a thousand. Hold on a sec. This Danish
physicist model of the atom added orbits for
electrons and won him the 1922 Nobel Prize. Say
it again. This Danish physicist model of the
atom added orbits for electrons and won him the
1922 Nobel Prize. Yeah, you're not going to get
this. Okay, I'm done then. Neil's war. No, definitely
not. Dan's got 2 ,800. Todd's got 8 ,200. So
Sievert measures the dose of radiation. Oh. It's
like Geiger. Yeah. Geiger's the counter. Alex
McDonald. He fucking... What the fuck? He didn't
answer you, but he just texted me like 15 minutes
ago. I actually didn't end up calling him. Something
about an emo song. Brother fucking can't talk
to us, but he'll talk about emo songs. What a
fucking asshole. Fuck that guy. Sponsored by
Night Moves. All right, Tyler. What's the category?
What are the scores? You already said it. I'm
up by like 82 ,000. Yeah, Tyler's got 8 ,200.
Dan's got 2 ,800. Damn. Category, American history.
God damn it. It doesn't matter anyway. You want
to bet it all, Daniel? Yeah, of course. Bet it
all, bitch. Pussy. Oh, dampen it all? All right.
Question. In 1911, this Tennessee distiller and
businessman once said, one last drink, please,
before passing away. Fuck. Fuck, what was his
name? your answer, Dan? Yeah. Alright. Tyler
says Jack Daniels. Incorrect. Oh, shit. You bet
$200. It's down to $8 ,000. Damn. Dan says, what,
Jim Beam? And then you said Dad says Jack Daniels.
Incorrect. You bet it all. Correct answer was
Jack Daniel without the S. Oh, bro. Are you fucking
kidding me? That's the most bullshit fucking
thing I've ever heard. Are you fucking kidding
me? That's genuinely bullshit. Are you fucking
kidding me? Tyler wins 8 ,000 to nothing. God
damn. What a meltdown of epic proportions. Yeah,
his name was Jack Daniels. Yeah, it was. It's
apostrophe fucking S. It's his whiskey. Jack
Daniels. So his name was Jack Daniels. That's
such a fucking question, dude. That's fucked
up, though. I know. I'm pretty sure on actual
Jeopardy, they would have been like... Yeah.
Somebody would have gotten punched on that one.
Anyway. If that came down to the wire, that might
have been fucking like a wire in your basement.
Like a fucking fist fight. Oh, man. Boy, thanks
for listening to the podcast. We're just going
to end it like that? I guess. I don't know. We're
just going to fucking end it like that? I don't
know. We're just going to fucking end it just
like that? I mean, that's what Jeffrey Epstein
did. He just ended it. That's it. I'm packing
up my shit. I'm taking my popcorn going home.
I'm popping out of this bitch. All right, Dan.
As always, be kind to yourselves. Hey, wait,
wait, wait, wait. What? Wait, wait, wait. Check
the email. Yeah, check the email. Oh, we never
get any emails. I'm going to get the Book of
Mormon sent to this house. I already get it sent
to my fucking email. Oh, no, we're going to get
it sent directly to your actual address. So what
were you, fucking Latter -day Saints? No. Latter
-day Saints is the Mormons. What the fuck were
you? Jehovah's Witness. What was your church
title thing? Relying on faith. What did they
call the church? The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter -day Saints. Latter -day Saints. We got
an email from them. Accepting the will of God.
Sometimes our own goals seem to conflict with
God's will. For us. Like getting pussy. But when
we patiently accept God's guidance, he can help
us accomplish things we never thought possible.
Relying on faith. Trials test our faith and our
patience. In the depths of difficult trials,
we can rely on Jesus who experienced every hardship
so we won't have to suffer alone. So for you,
like, as a Jehovah Witness, is it a cult? Definitely
a cult. Think about this. If there's 300 million
people in the United States, there's 7 or 8 million
Jehovah's Witnesses. It's like 0 .8 % of the
population, almost a percent. It's like 1 in
120 people are Jehovah's Witnesses. Weird. So
there's a lot of Jehovah's Witnesses. Half as
many as Mormons. So where are they? They're among
us, dude. They're just among us? They're among
us. They're everywhere. They're your bus drivers.
They're your bakery workers. There's a couple
things they're not. They're not cops because
they can't be cops. They can't be cops? No, absolutely
not. Why not? Can't be a police officer because
you can't carry a lethal weapon. Jehovah Witnesses
are another ones that can't have alcohol too?
No, they love their alcohol. Oh, they love alcohol.
Because it's like the one indulgence they can
have. What about nicotine? No, absolutely not.
No nicotine? No, no cigarettes at least. What
about cigars? No, absolutely not. Chewing tobacco?
No, absolutely not. Zins? No. Really? Definitely
not. No shit. You can get disfellowshipped for
that. What about weed? Well, if it's medical,
they can have that. Are you the ones that can't
get infusions? Yeah. No blood transfusions. Not
me, but I know, but like your, your former, your
former people. Yeah. Yep. No blood transfusion.
What is the reasoning behind that? Cause there's
one scripture, dude, I fight with my parents
about this. There's one scripture in the book
of acts that says thou shall abstain from blood.
Which meant don't fucking do blood sacrifices
and shit. Right. And it's like they took this
somehow to mean that you shouldn't take blood
transfusions. Okay, so I will say that I think
blood transfusions are fucking disgusting. That's
just me, right? That has nothing to do with a
religious thing. I just don't want somebody else's
fucking blood in my body. I don't want somebody
else's organs either. It gives me the fucking
heebie -jeebies, dude. You think you could talk
to somebody's ghost if you had their organ? Dude,
I'm sure you could probably channel a lot of
shit if you had somebody else's fucking blood
and organs in you. It's just fucking wild. What
if Jeffrey Epstein was a blood donor? That'd
be fucked. You have his fucking blood in you.
That would fucking suck, dude. What if you just
got Jeffrey Epstein's organs? Damn. Would that
make you part of him? That would make him part
of you. That'd make... A little bit of both.
That would make you implicit in his crimes. Yeah.
Cause like if you had Jeffrey Epstein's kidney,
does that mean that your kidney is not going
to heaven? I hear that. Like I've heard of people,
like they get a heart transplant and the person
like loved beer and then they love beer. What
if you got Jeffrey Epstein's kids? You start
fucking kids. You want to fuck kids? That would
be terrible, dude. I'd be like, get it out of
me. Get it out. Get those fucking kids. Who was
it? Whose organ was this? It was Mr. Epstein,
the famous one. Oh, my God. I opened up to a
random page in the Bible, and it says, Chapter
28, after we brought safely through, we learned
that the island was called Malta. It wasn't a
little St. James. Dude, that's really oddly fitting.
You know what's really ironic, Casey, though?
The first day that I started. Hold that. Hold
that scripture. No, that's what I'm doing. Yeah.
The first day that I started at my old job, which
I can say now is Malta. I worked for a town called
Malta. I was very weary about, you know, starting
a new job. That was the exact passage I opened
up to. No way. I shit you not, no. Wow. Yeah,
like the journey to Malta is what the... I didn't
know they mentioned Malta. Yeah, they mentioned
Malta, and I think there's a mention of Syracuse
in there as well. Because they're both named
after cities from other countries. If you look
further on, I think Syracuse is in there. Dude...
Either before or after. It should be around that
area. My... Oh yeah, let me read the rest of
the Bible for... Hold on. Real quick. While we're
on Malta, this kid I worked with at Home Depot.
Yeah. He's a really nice kid. He always, he got
blown up in Iraq in an IED. So he had all kinds
of fucking prescription drugs. Yeah. And so he
would always come in, come into Home Depot rolling
on Xanax. Bags under his eyes, right? And he's
just like. Is he like physically disabled? No,
like he could, he could function. but he just
he was fucked up mentally like nice kid you'd
never know but he told me he's like yeah dude
i'm like on a lot of shit but he said he went
to malta um when he was in the marines i'm guessing
because he was on a navy ship yeah like it's
an actual island um and he said he got uh he
went to a brothel there with his buddies yeah
and he said dude it was fucking amazing he said
like they fucking wash your cock with a washcloth
like a warm washcloth first and i get it all
ready and she like cleans herself up like just
to show you that she's like you know clean and
he's like dude it was fucking amazing dude this
is getting a little spotty right now how about
episode 200 in malta this is a good little racy
right now this bible here is it yeah It says,
now concerning the matters which you wrote, it
is good for a man not to have sexual relations
with a woman. Because of the temptation to sexual
immorality, each man should have his own wife
and each woman her own husband. The husband should
give to his wife her conjugal rights. And likewise
the wife to her husband. For the wife does not
have authority over her own body, but the husband
does. Oh, wow. Do not deprive one another except
by agreement for a limited time that you may
devote yourselves to prayer and then come together
again so that Satan may not tempt you. So go
to the room to pray and then get back to fucking.
So stop fucking just to pray? It says because
you lack self -control. That's crazy. So no fap
is acceptable. But get right back to it. That's
the thing. In the Bible, once you're married,
they're like, get fucking. Seriously, get fucking.
If you cannot exercise self -control, you should
marry. It is better to marry than burn with passion.
That's true. That is true. Burn with passion.
I burn with passion. About day 29 in OFAP, I'm
burning with passion. I'll tell you. I burn with
passion so much that I can't even retain it.
Like I love in, in like Catholic wedding ceremonies,
they're like now go out and, uh, like reproduce
is more like the things in like the things it's
like, like they're like specifically, I know
in the Catholic like thing, there's like make
more Catholics have sex a lot, but only when
you're married. But once you get married, have
sex all the time. I'm like, Whoa. Do you think
anybody on earth has actually ever waited till
marriage? I mean, before this time period or
like just. Yeah, like now. Well, my parents had
me before they were married, so I know that's
true. And their parents had them before they
were married. So I know that's true. This is
some schizophrenic shit. I don't know. Do you
know anybody who has not had sex before marriage?
Because I know I have. Everybody at this table
probably has. I know people that claim they have.
That claim they have. I don't know if I believe
it. Because I'm trying to think of all my friends
who are probably around, you know, my age to
a little bit older to just a little bit younger.
I think almost everybody that I know has had
some form of intercourse. Right. Dude, I think
they should just fucking allow. Blowjobs. That
should be fine. PJs? Yeah, because it's preventing
you from doing something stupid, right? Just
get some head and then come back to your senses.
Handjobs suck. I think that's subjective, Tyler.
Dude, I hate handjobs, dude. I really do. I hate
handjobs so much. You wouldn't if you went a
long time. Like, all right, you wouldn't hate
handjobs if you had no arms. You just hate handjobs
because you can give a better handjob than whoever's
giving you a handjob. I can give a handjob better
than any woman on the planet. I guarantee you
that. I guarantee you every man on the planet
can give a handjob better than every woman on
the planet. I guarantee you that. 100 % true.
I can jerk off to completion in less than a minute.
Even during sex, it takes me at least five. At
least five minutes? At least. Like, like, and
that's if I'm like pushing, like try being like,
let's just fucking, I want to get this type thing.
Like it takes me five, but like if I'm just fucking
handing it myself, I can get it done less than
a minute. Oh yeah. It depends on how charged
up I am. Like, dude, sometimes like pants don't
even come off. It's I'm already busted before.
I already bust before I even, you know, something
real good. And I've had a pair of pants on, I'm
ready to take them off. Like, like I've been
wearing these for like a day. I got to wash them
anyway. You know, I love how when Allie Mac's
not here, we can actually talk about this stuff
without it being like, we're getting back to
jerking off and talking about sex. I don't think
he's like that. Yes, he is. Every single time.
Next time, fucking next week, if he's here, we'll
start talking about this and wait how long it
takes until he says some shit. All right, we're
going to push it to a really uncomfortable place
and just watch his reaction. Just keep going?
Yeah. It's about clown porn. Dude. You know,
it's funny you mentioned that. I was thinking
today, I'm like, you know, I feel like we are
just, uh, like of our ancestors, we're just copies.
Right. And if we went back in time, we're a Xerox
of a Xerox at this point. Well, yeah, no, but
like, if you went back in time, like you would
see Tyler there. right just a little bit different
with a little bit different outfit one of those
fucking like german hats right yeah and it's
fucking overalls yeah and like the spectacles
like the the round spectacles like like a mustache
or something it looks just like tyler that's
all you're doing is just reassembling your dna
when you're over and over again i guarantee you
one of your ancestors looks like you to a point
but you go back in time and you see Tyler's ancestor
jerking off to mimes, right? It's just the same
thing, just a little bit different. Just like
this German guy. That's why the South lost the
Civil War. General Lee was jerking off. Of circus
clowns. He was fucking blowing the slaves. Well,
I don't think they had clowns then. Yeah, they
did. Did they? Yeah, Barnum and Bailey. No, that
was the 20s, wasn't it? Oh, das gut. Das gut.
but like you know like your pets are just like
hotty cloppa hotty cloppa yeah i mean suck my
dick like dude if we went back to fucking ireland
fucking 300 years ago and found casey's ancestor
We would know it was his ancestor. Just by looking
at him, it would look just like him. Yeah, we
catch him jerking off in a library. Exactly.
There we see yours fucking chasing out. Top of
the morning to you, lad. Where's your library?
Your ancestors chase that. They're fucking like
70 -year -olds. It's like, you know, ripe for
the peach. The sweeter the juices. Oh, Jesus
Christ. Fuck, dude. Allie Mack, you bring your
fucking vibe down when we talk about sexual stuff.
Maybe we can talk about astrophysics instead
because, you know, people care about that. People
care about black holes and space and shit. It's
like, no, dude, they want to hear about clown
porn. They want to hear about jerking off and,
you know, coming. Send us your emails. via uh
email get a poll going would you rather hear
about would you rather hear about funny sexual
shit or would you rather hear about boring fucking
astronomy tell us what you want us to talk about
until podcast 73 gmail .com casey what's your
most embarrassing moment during sex during sex
that's i i think i already told mine i'll think
about it what about you I don't know. What was
yours, Tyler? Mine was when I lost my virginity
to the Vietnamese girl. The what girl? Yeah,
she's Vietnamese. Let's give them one more shot
to get that right. Vietnamese. What? Say it again.
The Viet Cong girl. No, no, no. Say it again.
I'm really interested in the way you just said
that. Vietnamese. That's not what it's called.
Vietmanese is what you're saying. Vietmanese.
Vietmanese. Vietmanese. It's Vietnamese with
an M. Vietnam. It's my fucking accent, retard.
Vietmanese. Vietmanese. No, no, I want to hear
this. Vietmanese. The chick who is, you know,
a fucking Charlie. Fucking bitch. You know what?
I'll just retell the story because I think it's
funny. So we match on Tinder. I meet up with
her. I go to her apartment that's like in the
college part of the town that we're in. And I
go upstairs. Mind you, I have never had sex before.
I have gotten a blowjob and stuff, but I never
had sex. And we sat on her couch for a little
bit. She's like, hey, let's come to my room and
watch a movie. And I'm like, all right, let's
fucking watch a movie. The only thing that she
had was fucking Disney Plus on her fucking computer.
So she just fucking threw on like. It was Hercules.
That's an important part of the story. So we're
sitting there and we start making out on the
bed. And then she's like, do you got a condom?
I'm like, no. She's like, I got a bunch. She
opens up her drawer. Bad sign. Now that I'm a
more matured and sexual active person, when a
chick opens up her drawer and she has like 100
plus condoms in there, probably not a good sign.
But, you know, virgin. Or it is, depending how
you look at it. Virgin me. That went over my
head. So she does the weird thing with the mouth
that like she puts it in her mouth and then like
put it on your dick type thing. You know that?
And I'm like, whoa. And then. She gets on top
of me. 30 seconds go by. I come. I'm like, yeah,
that's about it. She's like, that's it? I'm like,
yeah, that's it. I'm very good at this. She's
like, wow, that is something. I'm like, yep.
And then I shit you not. You ever see the movie
Hercules? No. You ever see the movie Hercules?
Nope. So there's a song called Zero to Hero that
plays in that. And I shit you not, as soon as
I came and we had that conversation, it was just
like, Zero to Hero, just like that. I'm like,
oh, man. Oh, man. And then I got out of the house
thinking I did a good job. I get back in my car.
I'm like, I just lost my virginity. That was
awesome. I'm having a great time being a matured
man now. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? That
was not great. Yeah. But in my head, I'm like,
yep, she loved that. And then we went on another
date and we had a good time. And I'm like, hey,
you want to go back up to your thing? She's like,
you know what? I don't think we should see each
other again. I'm like. On to the next one then.
Two Pump Chomp. Fucking Two Pump Charlie. That
was my first time. I think everybody's first
time. They did not last very long. Dude. All
right. Casey, where was your first time? When?
Yeah. Where? Where and when? Like at her house.
At her house. When I was like 16. 16. Damn. I
was 18. She knew you had a hammer. She was like,
dude, this guy's got a hammer. He's got that
retard dick, dude. He's like the smartest one
here. No, no, no. But he's got that retard dick.
I know he does. He's got that like fucking just
massive hog. Everybody knows he has a massive
hog. Oh, you're saying like retards have. Yeah,
like the retard dick, you know, like the fucking
just God damn, you fucking got a fucking hog.
You ever have a girl just like queef on your
dick and you're just like, what the fuck? Yes.
I don't like it, but I have had it happen before.
It's just. I can't say that I have. You're not
pumping hard enough then, brother. Fucking queef
sisters. If you go real hard, you can get air
trapped in there. I mean, yeah, now that I think
about it. Yeah, maybe a couple times, but it's
not like a regular occurrence. So what was your
first time? Embarrassing or first time? I feel
like everybody's first time was somewhat embarrassing.
I got raped by this. I was, I didn't, I got raped.
I was sexually assaulted. It was cool. I didn't
lose my virginity until I was 19 and she was
21 and I couldn't even drink yet. I was 18. Yeah.
She got us drunk. How the fuck did Casey lose
his virginity before us? Dude, because she knew
he had a hammer. He got raped. It was amazing.
I got raped. It was awesome. It's not really
rape then, is it? Yeah, but it's a little Mexican
trick. That's a question I was thinking the other
day. Can men technically get raped? Because if
your dick's hard, doesn't that mean you like...
You want it? It's the fucking same. That's the,
that's the fucking same argument that fucking
rapists use that. Well, she's wet. Doesn't that
mean that she liked it? Right. Oh, I've never
heard that. That's an actual dude. Actual fucking
rapists in court have tried to use that as an
excuse. Wow. Yeah. That's like an actual fucking
thing. Like people are fucked, dude. Jeez. Yeah.
Oh man. That's just like, so Casey, I feel like
that's the same thing, but for guys, well, you
had a boner. All right, so if a chick's 21. Yeah,
but that's different. And a guy's 19. She provides
the alcohol. They get drunk. She has sex with
him. He can't technically drink. Yeah. I don't
like if you were consenting to it. Did you consent
to it? Oh, well, that's fine. More than consented,
yes. So it's not rape. That would just be providing
alcohol to a minor. Right. So that's not rape.
Yeah, I know. But if it was the other way around,
if it's like a guy, if it was like, right, right.
If it was a 21 year old guy, give an alcohol
to a 19 year old girl, gets her drunk, takes
her virginity. Did she consent though? Right.
Right. I mean, even if she did, she's not under
18. She was given alcohol. How plastered were
you? Were you like gone? Blackout. You were gone.
Then I think that's the, the area where. Because
in New York, it's not just consent, it's enthusiastic
consent now. Whatever the fuck that means. Wow.
Because a girl can be like, yeah, okay, whatever.
If she's not like, let's fuck right now, if she
wants to take you to court, you're going to lose.
Enthusiastic consent. Yeah, enthusiastic consent's
a thing. I was going to say, Jeff Campos actually
had a video of me with that girl. A video? Yeah.
I felt so bad. Let's post that on the Facebook
page. I felt so bad. I think he took it on my
phone. Dude, that would be our first YouTube
video. God, I deleted it. I was so fucking ashamed.
You know that Christian guilt that sets in? I
know that. I don't know much about that. I know
that, brother. The Christian guilt is definitely
something. That is a brutal fucking thing. Every
time. I got an idea for a game. How about we
get hard, not together. We take some printer
paper and we trace our dicks and then we fold
it, right? And then we put it in a pile and we
each try and guess whose dick it is. You have
to be fully erect? Whatever you want. There's
got to be standards here. I'm definitely a grower,
not a shower. So I would try and probably be
erect for this. Get a Sharpie, outline it, try
not to get it in your dick. What about that thing,
you know how when chicks paint their legs and
ass? And they, like, sit down on, like, a canvas
and, like, you can get, like, the fucking thing.
What if we did that and just put, like, a dick?
You just get a canvas and you just fucking paint
up your cock and you just fuck! And then we could
put his artwork up in the studio. Ali Max secretly
has, like, a 24 -inch dick. I could see it. I
could definitely see that. You remember that
Seinfeld episode where they were having the contest
of, uh... Who like could go the longest without
like coming? I don't remember that episode, no.
No? No. They were like doing the contest. They
were like, if you like jerk off before the rest
of us, you like lose the bet. And they were like
doing $50. But fucking George was cheating. How
was he cheating? because he like he like fucking
jerked off but he just lied about it he's like
not this was an episode of seinfeld yeah that
was like a famous episode of seinfeld i'm gonna
go home and watch this it's called the contest
it was like a country it was a controversial
uh episode because like the the subject right
i that's what i'm saying i'm like i can't believe
that was on tv in the 90s yeah wow And Kramer
walked in the door, and he's like, well, I'm
out. It was like instant, right? Yeah. Oh, I
remember that. That would be me and Dan. We'd
be like, all right, see you later. I lose. You're
right. I'd just be like, hold on a second. I'd
just go to the bathroom, rub one out, and be
like, I lose. See you guys. Yeah. We should have
that contest. Yeah. So I think. Jerry technically
won because George cheated. What did George do?
He fucking came. He was jerking off in his room
and his mom came home. And she fucking fell and
broke her hip. So he had to visit her in the
hospital. Dude, I vaguely remember this episode.
And she's like... I come home and I find my son
treating his body like a wonderland. It's like
that John Mayer song. Your body's a wonderland.
It's a good song. Yep. Maybe we should fade out
to that. I love John Mayer, bro. Do you? I'll
fucking do it. Yeah, because he was in the Grateful
Dead for a while. Yeah. John Mayer was in the
Grateful Dead? Yep. Yep. He was fucking awesome.
Yeah, that's a great song to fade out to. Your
body's a wonderland. All right. Like us on Facebook.
You know, and as always, cut yourself. Discover
me discovering you. One mile.