The following program is intended for mature
audiences and may cause cancer in at -risk populations.
Viewer discretion is advised. For all we know,
robots have souls. We just don't know if they
do or don't. How do you know? Have you ever been
a cyborg or a robot? You think we were the first
ones to inhabit this planet? Fuck no. No, we
are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole. Yes,
we are. There's people out there with some really
dumb thoughts. Extended episode. Where the fuck
did the spearmen come from? Where the fuck did
Stonehenge come from? You're telling me that
they didn't die and become ghosts? They're killing
all the already born babies and sell them to
the Chinese. Aliens exist. Somewhere in China.
some days what the fuck there are super soldiers
super soldiers then they are extraterrestrials
they are aliens if tomorrow all the things were
gone i'd work for all my life and i had to start
again with just my children and my wife i thank
my lucky stars to be living here today cause
the flag still stands for freedom and they can't
take that away Welcome to Untitled Podcast, episode
111. It's the Freedom episode, 4th of July. Give
that right to me and I can't stand it. This song
gives me the chills, Daniel. I can't hear the
song. What a song. When we got the Freedom episode,
I'm... Casey and Dan here. We recorded an episode
like eight years ago of Ambulance Sessions podcast
that we're going to play after this intro. And
yeah, it was a long time ago, Dan. Yeah, man.
What a throwback this is going to be. I don't
know if all the stuff in this episode is safe.
Oh, God, we got to apologize in advance. This
is going to be bad. This is going to be like
the canceled episode. Dude, you said you were
editing it or you were listening to it again.
It was pretty rough. Yeah, I mean, so the stuff
that we talked about in the episode, I wanted
to ask you about and see if your opinion changed,
actually, because, you know, we were talking
about. We were watching the amazing racist videos.
And I don't know. I was like quoting South Park,
but I don't know. South Park gets away with it,
don't they? Yeah. What'd you say, Casey? I was
quoting Cartman, let's say. What did Cartman
say? I'll let my 22 -year -old self say that
when you listen to it. You were 22. Yeah. How
old are you now? 30? Yeah. Wow, man. That's wild.
That is eight years ago it was? Yeah, 2017. Dude,
that feels like it was four years ago. I know.
It fucking feels like yesterday, but we were
talking about, well, first I asked you. What
do you think freedom means? What do I think it
means? Yeah, yeah. Are you asking me again to
see if my opinion has changed? I think freedom
is the ability to do what you want, when you
want, so long as it doesn't hurt other people.
I like that. I forgot what you said, but... Yeah,
now I'm interested to know what I said. I said,
like, freedom is, like, the freedom to go out
and eat whatever I want and, like, give myself
diabetes and heart disease and fucking, you know,
drink myself to death. That's freedom. That's
America. No protecting people from themselves.
It is freedom until we have... universal health
care but freedom isn't free is it no it definitely
comes at a cost like kyle was talking about in
the group chat just just now how he was a truck
uh truck driver picking up the garbage and like
these fucking two crack whores are just like
licking each other's pussy and he's like it's
five in the morning like how come you're out
here you know getting high off your ass and fucking
doing lesbian scissoring and i'm spending like
12 hours a day picking up the garbage like middle
class and you're you know at the bottom just
doing that right that is that is freedom man
and i i think uh i was saying in the chat i think
we're gonna have to um we're gonna have to do
an episode where we go out and try and find these
women just maybe do it maybe do an interview
sir You know why I pulled you over? Oh, we just
do an episode for a podcast. What's the name
of the podcast? We weren't offering them money.
We just wanted to know a little bit about them.
It's called the Untitled Podcast. Yeah. A podcast
that still doesn't have a name. Dan, what do
you think it'd be? What's that? No, go ahead.
I'm sorry. I was going to say, what do you think
it means to be an American? If you live in America,
does that make you an American? If you just came
over here from Iran? Or is it like someone has
to be born to America to be American? I think
if you have citizenship, you're an American.
It doesn't matter. So you would say, if you have
citizenship, you're an American. Yeah. So you
would agree that people that can't speak English
could be American? Definitely. I don't know why
I would never say that they couldn't be. Because
isn't the test to become a citizen in English?
Yeah, but it doesn't mean you have to speak English.
But how do you take the test? Yeah, but there's
people that, say somebody was born here, and
say they were in a community that was like...
like completely one nationality and they had
no reason to speak english right like what if
you're in a chinese community in the united states
you were born here but you never you never learned
english right right so it has nothing to do with
your citizenship bob just isn't it hard like
how do you physically Pass the test if you can't
read the words on the test. Well, you don't have
to take a citizenship test if you were born here.
But yeah, I would say if you came over and became
a citizen, wouldn't you have to learn English
in order to take the test? Yeah, you would. If
you go that route. If you're not a natural born
citizen, yeah, then you've got to learn English.
Dude, look, it's not all fair, right? Like, if
I want to get my Greek citizenship, I can get
it just because my grandma and my mom were citizens,
right? My grandma was Greek, so I have a provable
bloodline to Greece. And I can get my citizenship
just on that alone. But if I didn't have that,
if I was somebody coming from another country
that wanted my Greek citizenship, I would have
to learn. greek i would have to have a job they
have all these criteria you have to meet if if
you're just somebody off the street with no connection
to greece yeah i mean obviously they want you
to be able to live there and know what the is
going on and be able to speak the language right
but there's a back door for people like me to
have citizenship so You know, it's the same thing
with somebody who was born here. You're just,
that's it. You have, no matter what, you have
your citizenship. Right. Yeah, so who do you
think this land belongs to? Like, does it belong
to the natives? Does it belong to Europeans?
Does it belong to everybody? The natives are
like... They're kind of like construction workers
that go in and get everything prepped ahead of
time. You know, they go in and they learn the
wild animals. They learn, you know, the grizzly
bears and the mountain lions and they learn how
to fight them. And, you know, they have they
have trails that they make and paths. And, you
know, we just we came up and. said thanks for
all your hard work and then we started putting
our roads in you know and we actually we keep
the names if you look at the names around here
oh yeah we keep the names we keep the names we
killed like fucking two million of them keep
the names though yeah yeah they did all the work
for us so we just step in and uh take over you
know i'd love to be fucking you know shot in
my face and then have my name put up on my house
you know i don't think it was I don't think it
was like that, dude. You don't think it was like
that? No, no. You ever hear the Trail of Tears?
All right, bro, but here's the thing, all right?
Listen. Listen to me, Casey, all right? There's
good and bad people from all nationalities, right?
So when we say, oh, the natives, it's like, dude,
that's like saying any other race. or nationality
that's like saying oh the italians or you know
the swedes or the germans it's like dude there's
good and bad people in that entire group yeah
i agree yeah there's people there's people that
the swedes right there's people in sweden that
the swedes say hey these are bad people like
yes there are citizens but we're putting them
in jail for life right so you can't just like
a blanket statement like oh the natives were
all good and all bad like there was some some
vicious native americans yeah i would just like
kill you if you didn't kill them first they would
kill you so it's like yeah it sounds terrible
like but i mean dude go to the hood right just
go to the hood and see how bad it is see how
violent people are i know the worst part of the
hood now imagine people that live in the woods
and wear wine cloths And like literally have
to like kill shit and drag it home. Like it's
10 times worse than the hood. You know, at least
in the hood, it's like, it's like they speak
the same language. Right. Sort of. Right. So
imagine stepping into the woods and they're,
they're chucking spears and wearing one claws
and they don't even speak remotely the same language.
It's like, and they just want to kill anything.
That's not them. It's like, dude, it's pretty
bad, man. It's not, these weren't just like friendly
people that were like picking up trash, like
trying to keep the woods clean. It's like, these
are like, these are pretty vicious people. A
lot of them, not all of them. Well, do you think
most of them, do you think Teddy Roosevelt was
a good person? Cause he was responsible for the
trail of tears. Um, let me ask chat TV team.
Stand by. I have no original thoughts anymore.
Yeah, I know, right? Was Teddy Roosevelt a good
guy? Let's see. He was complex. That's the most
politically correct answer I've ever heard. Let's
see. He had some problematic racial attitudes.
According to ChatGPT. Problematic racial attitudes.
Is there an unproblematic racial attitude? Dude,
that's a good way to put it. I'm going to say
that. You're not racist. You just have a problematic
racial attitude. Let's see. It says if you like
guys who get things done and leave a legacy,
he's fascinating. Just don't put him on a pedestal
without knowing the full picture. Yeah, so I'd
say he's good. He's a good dude. I mean, there's
good people, I don't know, you know, good people
and bad people of every, like, race, but it's
like there's good cops and bad cops. There's
good criminals and bad criminals. Right, and
people just like to throw things into baskets,
right? And just, they like to organize things
in their brain and classify things, and it's
not that easy. It's like, dude, you, I guarantee
if you were back in the day, like during the
trail of tears time, maybe I should just stop
talking. You know what? No, this, this, this
episode is already going to get worse already.
So just be prepared. Had you been there? Have
I been on the trail of tears? Had you been like
there around that time? You might've thought
a little differently and you might even have.
You might even have been, you know, chewing some
tobacco and saying these goddamn, these gosh
darn Indians. You know? I mean, if you're trying
to live on the land and somebody's fucking shooting
arrows at you, I guess anybody's going to be
annoyed, but it's like not your land. It's their
land. It's not anybody's land, really. So what
if, what if, uh, So why if Iran right now invaded
us, would we just say, oh, this is nobody's land
technically. We'll just let them come in? No,
because there's a nation here. We just let people
in the border? So how come we don't let Mexicans,
illegals, it's such a big deal to let them in
the border if it's nobody's land? Because there's
a nation here. It's not about the land. There's
a nation that's been established here. But wasn't
the... Nations are defined by their borders.
Sure, but haven't you heard of the Iroquois Nation?
Huh? Like the Iroquois Nation? Did they not have
their own government? Oh, yeah. It was like the...
Be a better nation, man. The League of Iroquois.
Yeah, the problem was is that they're sitting
on all these natural resources and... Yeah, we're
expansionists. So that's not gonna it's like
that's not gonna work Right like right so maybe
if they had firearms things would have been different
But dude, that's I don't know they were pretty
good with those arrows Dude, that's just nature
like the the stronger force gets the resources
And that's how it goes. It's just, it's a war
of resources. Every war is over resources of
some kind. That's it. Well, yeah, if we see,
you know, the fucking Europeans come over and
see open land, they're like, hey, there's all
this fucking shit there. They're not just going
to ignore it. Right. Right. Obviously, you know,
they took it to, like, their fucking people or
their race. basically enslaved another race,
eliminated the race that was already there, and
then just invaded the land. Who? Who did that?
The Europeans. To who? To the Native Americans
and black people. The Africans. I don't know
if it was really like that, man. I think that
was... I think that's a stretch. You think slavery
was... Be saying slavery happened was a stretch?
No, I think the way you're making it sound is
a stretch. Just hear me out, right? Look, if
you saw a person, a person that was captured,
right? man i gotta be careful what i say so you
get you got something no you don't somebody else
right and you see them this person that captured
them is saying hey i got this person for sale
right this per i got this person for sale i captured
him and he's for sale right yeah like don't don't
you think man like i could save that guy if i
just paid this guy some money for him i could
bring him home and it sure would be a better
life if he was helping me around the farm oh
you're saying like you paid money for him and
then what send him free or no you give him a
better life around the farm it's like dude like
hold on we gotta we gotta back up here okay Do
you think... Sure, you're not getting whipped
or whatever if you have a good slave owner, but
you gotta think you're still a slave holder and
you're still as bad as somebody that owns slaves.
You're not allowing somebody to have their freedom.
Bro, listen. Do you know where lions are from?
What? Do you know where lions are from? Africa?
Right. Do you know where tigers are from? Tigers
are from India and Africa. Oh, God. So you know
where the most people die from malaria is? Yeah,
obviously Africa. Africa, right. Do you know
where the most people die from HIV? Yeah, Africa,
yeah. Africa. So, it's like, is Africa really
a great place to stay? Like, dude, I'm serious.
Are you saying just because of the environment
there? Or is it the people that are there? Or
is it the actual geography, the land? Dude, the
geography is hell on earth, bro. Why? That's
where humans originated. They literally have...
Why is it hell on earth, though? Dude, it's...
because for all the reasons i just listed it
is hell on earth bro like so don't you think
that maybe some people who bought slaves were
like dude i gotta get this guy out of here like
you you don't think that at least a couple or
more than a couple people were like yo I'm saving
this guy from fucking lions, chucking spears,
wearing a loincloth, dying from getting eaten
alive by mosquitoes. I'm going to give him a
fucking job on my farm. Dan, I'm not going to
lie. That's probably the worst take I've ever
heard. I'm just saying, you got to look at the
other end of it, man. It's not all bad. oh my
god so yeah but in africa i know like there's
the sahara desert in the north part but like
you go to the southern part there's like jungles
and you know south africa the southern part where
they start getting white like that's because
europeans colonize them too dude that's why the
south africans are have white people there All
right, I'm going to say a real figure here. That's
why Elon Musk is fucking there. 45 to 50 % of
Africa is like hell on earth. Dude, you're chucking
spears. You're like beating drums, wearing moon
claws, running from lions, just slapping mosquitoes
all day. Just blistering heat, dude. You're getting
blisters on your fucking forehead from the sun
just beating down. It's like, dude, it's literally
hell. That's why their skin is dark. So they
don't get sunburned. Oh, yeah. Let me just go
for a swim, man. I am just burning up out here.
Go for a swim and get eaten by a fucking hippopotamus.
It's like, dude, it's fucking hell. It's hell
on earth, man. Do people not live in environments
where it's fucking hell? Like, I don't know.
I mean, you have like bears here, but you have
like winter hell, right? Like we have like six
pounds out of the year where we just freeze to
death. It's like, why do people live here? Eating
pizza and sitting around a cozy fire is like,
you know, hell on earth, dude. I'm talking fucking,
you go by the swimming hole, dude, when a fucking
crocodile gets here. It's like, dude, you're
out like you're out past a certain time at night.
You're getting ripped apart by lions and hyenas.
It's like that doesn't happen around here. I
mean, there's bears, there's wolves, panthers.
Yeah, but dude, how many people do you know that
have been attacked by any of those? None. I'll
answer it for you. Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah.
Yeah, dude. Look, what I'm saying is that slavery
saved a lot of people from Africa. Oh my God.
Dude. I mean, it's kind of obvious. We were so
canceled. No, we're not canceled. I'm saying
yes. Was slavery a bad thing? Yes. Okay. It was
bad. But for a lot of bad things, sometimes there's
a lot of upsides. Can you imagine running for
political office or going to a job interview
with it? They just start playing this episode.
They're like, what's going on here? Well, dude,
look. Listen. We wouldn't have had a lot of great
rappers. Dude, I'm serious. Dude, they'd be in
Africa chucking spears right now. Oh my god.
Dude. You're making it sound like it's so bad.
Oh, my God. I don't know. There's some white
rappers, too. You know, BLP Kosher, shout out.
Yeah, not many good ones. But no, in all honesty,
right? Because I'm putting, like, a little bit
of a, like, you know, a fucking twist on it,
like, trying to be funny. Like, bro, there's
got to, like, I would... We saved a lot of people.
We saved a lot of people from having to live
on the plains of Africa, dude. We really did.
I'm not joking about that. And I say we. I shouldn't
say we. I should say the people who bought slaves
saved a lot of people. But at the time... Dude,
but they don't have to live there. If they are
unhappy there, they can literally just move.
Right. Dude, slavery was terrible. That was absolutely
awful. But the generations down from the ones
who were enslaved, dude, that was such a good
move for them. It sucked for the people who were
enslaved, yes. But their future generations are
benefiting from it right now. Damn, that's funny
because we were watching that video in the episode.
Where the guy's like, free boat rides to Africa,
RHF4. We were watching like the... I hate that
guy. Yeah. I do not stan that guy, dude. Remember
the one where he wears the KKK hood into the
laundromat? In the ghetto? No. And he's like,
hey, can I get my calanute floor washed? Were
we, uh, did we watch that? Yeah, but we were
also watching the one where he, like, hired a
bunch of illegal immigrants and then he took
them to ICE office and he started honking the
horn. And they started jumping out of the back
of the truck. Yeah, they started running away.
Yeah, it's fucking hilarious. Dude, so I just
want to say, I'm just joking about everything
I'm saying, but but like they're actually, there
were a lot of people that were saved by that.
I just want to, it's unfortunate that it had
to happen like that. That's terrible. Right.
But would you, would you, would you rather be,
would you rather, nevermind. We can, we can move
on from this. Oh Lord. I don't want to dig this
hole any deeper, but. We were talking about Facebook
trolling, right? Because I made that Peter Dickington
account. Oh, yeah. And I want to get back into
the Facebook trolling. Dude, Facebook, it's becoming,
it is fun to troll. But it's just becoming a
bunch of fucking degenerates dude. Like Facebook
is just degenerating into just hell. It's pretty
bad. Yeah. I think that's because society is
degenerating into hell. Yeah. A little bit. It
is. I would agree with that. We were also talking
about that transgender. uh pregnancy where the
guy the transgender like man got the transgender
woman pregnant so like the guy was like giving
birth man i forgot about that yeah so i i you
know i watched the fireworks on uh thatcher park
today um how was it it's cool like you can see
all the troys connected All the fireworks are
really small. You can't really hear them, but
it's cool. Yeah, that's usually a sweet spot
to watch. I've gone up there a couple times and
watched the fireworks. Imagine if you were Trump
and you were like, I own this entire land. I
am the king. Damn, I could get used to that.
That would be awesome. Same, yeah. You'd be president
for a day. Dude, they were... What would you
do? What would you do if you were president for
one day? Oh, I have so many things I would do,
actually. Start with... What would be the first
thing you'd do? The first thing? I don't know.
How do you decide the first thing? What's the
first thing I would do? The first thing I would
do, something that would have the most impact.
Hmm. I'd probably start with fixing the potholes.
Damn, Casey's like going after the big problem.
I mean, they're pretty bad, man. Like my entire,
the front bumper of my car is falling off just
because of potholes. You think that's what caused
it? No, it's because like the whole, whatever
you call it, the whole car is too low. So I always
park like over the curb and I always scrape it.
Damn. Casey going after the potholes. What would
I do? What's the first thing that I would do?
I know. I would take the top 1%, like the billionaires,
and I would redistribute all their money equally
among everyone. No, you wouldn't. The first thing
I would do is make a law that you can't do that.
But this is if I was president. Yeah, I know.
Hopefully I was president before you and I would
make a law that says you can't do that. Oh, fuck.
Yeah, that's bullshit. Dude, are you really on
the same page as that person on Facebook? Who's
that? The one we can't name. Her name. Oh, yeah.
I think we talked about that in the episode,
actually. That girl that we used to work with.
Yeah. Did you really believe that there shouldn't
be billionaires? Billionaires? Yes. I think a
billion dollars is more money than anybody could
actually use in their lifetime. Even if you lived
a life of luxury, you still couldn't use a billion
dollars in your lifetime. Right. You know that's
not how it actually works, right? What do you
mean? Like for the 110th time. Oh, people have
assets. Oh, they owed assets that they can fucking
sell and then turn into money and then they could
use that money to buy a fucking yacht. Casey,
if you started fucking Casey's ice cream cone
company, right? And the state of New York pension
fund says that they want to invest in your ice
cream cone company and they give you a billion
dollars to invest. and to buy ice cream cones
and ice cream trucks, right? You don't have a
billion dollars to go spend on hookers and blow
and private jets. It has to be used to build
the business, right? So all this money that billionaires
have, it's not just sitting in a vault and they
don't just open the door and swim in it. Who's
that fucking duck with all the fucking money?
But they can, right? They could if they wanted
to. You don't need... They could fill up a room
with money, with cash, if they fucking wanted
to. They have enough in their bank account. Yeah,
some of them. Some of them don't. It's like,
dude, it's all tied up. It's like every penny
is being put to use. Like, it's not just free,
like, cash. It's not... It doesn't work like
that. It's an investment from somebody else.
It's like, they're really... Like, when you think
of a billionaire, most billionaires... It's not
cash on hand. It's they're managing other people's
money. They're money managers. So that's why
it's like, you know, people like this person
we're talking about on Facebook, like they can
stomp and pout and like not know how it works
all they want. But that's never going to change
the system. Like so long as 401ks exist, so long
as the stock market exists, there's going to
be billionaires because there has to be billionaires.
So you don't think that Elon Musk has too much
money? That he doesn't have enough money that
he can live a life of luxury for the rest of
his life? Oh, you know, yeah, he does. And is
there something wrong with that? Like, is that
a problem? Is it a problem, let's say? Well,
I mean, when there's, you know, a million homeless
people, that's kind of a problem. Okay, so say
Elon Musk has $100 million cash on hand, right?
Do you think he earned that? Do you think with
all the risk that he took in his life? Elon fucking
spends $100 million in his sleep. No, he doesn't.
He does. Dude, he doesn't even own a house. You
know that? That's Warren Buffett. No, Elon Musk
has like a $50 ,000 house, dude. It's literally
a box. He lives in a box. What's the point of
all this, though? What's the point of having
all this money if he's not going to use it? He
doesn't have the money. That's the thing, Casey.
He's managing the money for other people. Damn.
He can't just take $10 billion out. and just
fucking blow it it doesn't work it doesn't work
like that but but technically didn't uh the people
like the stock investors already give their money
like when you buy a stock you you're already
giving your money to the stock like you can't
get it back until you sell it like if it drops
down for a lower price you can't get your money
back no of course not so what So didn't they
technically already give him the money? So doesn't
he have the money? No. Dude, that money that
the shareholders pay is buying equipment for
Tesla, is paying the salaries of Tesla employees.
It's not just... So what would happen if Elon
shut down Tesla and sold it, took his cash out?
How much money would he have? right he dude he
has a board of investors that he has to answer
to you can't just do that he has shareholders
that he has to answer to so they all have a stake
in the company okay it's not just like dude elon
musk is a ceo dude but say say like say i have
a million dollars right and i go out and buy
10 houses for a hundred thousand dollars each
now i have 10 houses and i have zero money for
food Does that mean I have no money? Or does
that mean I can just sell the houses and now
I have money for food? Yeah, of course you can
sell it. What are you getting at? I'm getting
at Elon could sell Tesla at any point he wanted
to and have that money, access that money. Yeah,
he sells portions of the company all the time.
He does that all the time to eat, just like you
said. Oh, so he like buys and sells like the
trends in the stock market. But isn't that like
insider trading? No, not at all. How could it
be insider trading? I mean... If he's buying
stock when it's low. Because he knows it's going
to be low. I actually don't know if that's insider
trading, but I do know that he has to sell stocks
to get cash so he can eat. I just, I don't understand
what the obsession is with other people's money.
Like, I don't get that. Like, I don't understand
why the left is so obsessed with other people
having more money. I don't know. So like, who
should be, who do you think in society should
be responsible for the people that can't take
care of themselves? You know, like disabled people
who like, should the government, nobody. So you
just let them die. Yeah. oh damn no dude look
i've said this before i'm just joking about that
right there's a lot of things i'm saying here
that are unjust okay um i think we can have the
best of both worlds man i think we can have the
best of socialism and we can have the best of
capitalism i think it's possible you know yeah
i think I can, I think we can have kind of like
the best of conservatism and the best of liberalism
because I think going either way is too, too
much, but I don't know about, I don't know about
capitalism and socialism though. Like I feel
like socialism, like the only reason that it
doesn't work is because of like human greed,
right? Because of dictators take over and they
call it, it turns into communism. Yeah. It seems
like as soon as you start going too far in either
direction, it's pretty bad. Because don't you
think if a certain group is in power or if just
one person's in power, they're always going to
be kind of corrupt because they can just do whatever
they want? Yeah. And it's like, dude, everybody's
got their own agenda, right? Like how come there's
one, you know, one Vladimir Putin and whatever,
a hundred million Russians. And they can't fucking
kill the guy. Right. They're just able... He's
just able to rule their country. There's a hundred
million people there. And like most of them want
him dead. Most of Russians? Yeah, most Russians
don't want to be under a fucking dictator. Dude,
I don't think... I think that that's like a...
a u .s like propaganda thing well you remember
the video where the guy was holding up the blank
sheet of paper and he got arrested yeah but that
kind of shit happens in america too dude there's
there's people peacefully protesting outside
the capitol building on january 6th and they
were arrested oh sure so there was also you know
people in the protest for like black lives matter
that were lawfully arrested but Yeah, it's just,
it's dangerous to have an opinion these days,
I guess. You know? But, um, where are we going
with that? Where'd that come from? What's that?
How'd we get on January 6th? Oh, you said the
people that were outside protesting. You know,
they were... Oh, yeah, Vladimir Putin, right?
Yeah. So like dude we do things in the US that
other countries would think were like Would would
view as like something a dictator would do we
do it all the time Do we do some vile shit in
other countries man? A lot of other countries
We bombed Iran just for funsies They don't look
at the US is like as like a good country you
know definitely the way the way we manipulate
shit we have a whole playbook on how to manipulate
other countries and how to topple their governments
right so you know for better or worse i don't
know the details of it right it's for u .s interests
but um a lot of other countries don't like the
u .s even though you know we run shit they really
um they really don't like us that much man and
You know, you say Vladimir Putin's a dictator.
They think the people that run the U .S. are
gangsters, dude. They think they're absolute
gangsters, and not in a good way. Oh, yeah. Like,
if somebody comes over and kills your, you know,
family or whatever, you're obviously going to
have some hate towards them. Yeah. Yeah, man,
so I think it depends. I think a lot of people
in Russia like Vladimir Putin. You know? I think
people that are more obligated or likely to be
controlled by the media and the government are
more likely to like Vladimir Putin. Not the free
thinkers. The free thinkers definitely oppose
dictatorships, kings, and... basically the oligarchy
because i don't think i don't think you can really
have a democracy or like everybody's vote doesn't
really count unless you have like a direct democracy
where everybody's voting on the issues yeah i
mean dude but the system our system is set up
so that the lowest people can't vote like not
that they can't vote but they can't control the
government like they can't run because like the
founding fathers understood that the lower class
of people like really didn't have the understanding
to run the government so it's intentionally set
up in a way that they can't have too much control
yeah it's back in back in like the 1700s but
i guess it still exists today that the people
um Like most normal people, they wouldn't want
them to have control of the government because
they're not like educated about politics and
government and that kind of shit. Right. So you
have to have somebody that knows what they're
doing. But I mean, we voted fucking, you know,
the guy from The Apprentice as president. So
whatever. I think it's awesome. I love it. I
used to not be able to stay on that guy. Once
I found out what a patriot he is, and how about
America he is, I'm all about him. Give me a second.
I was going to pause it for like a minute. All
right. All right. Yeah. All right. So, Dan, I
got to ask you, what do you think it means to
have, like, do you think that having national
pride is a good thing? Do you have a lot of national
pride? Because I know like a lot of these days,
they always say like conservatives, always want
people to love america and liberals always fucking
hate america yeah it's fucking i've been seeing
a disturbing amount of posts of people that are
like what are we even celebrating on the fourth
of july they're like yeah then they go to list
like all the bad things about you know about
the country it's like all right if your mom on
her birthday do you just like whip out a list
of like all the worst things about your mom i
mean we understand like we're we know it's not
perfect right like nobody's like oh america is
perfect it's like dude no it's not perfect but
it's the best that's ever been like people don't
know people don't know how bad it could be and
i think we need to be reintroduced to how bad
it could be people need to just people people
need to just taste just they they need a little
just a little hint of how bad it could fucking
be no i was having this this conversation uh
with megan because i was like people always want
to say they're going to like leave America and
like, Oh, I hit America and I'm going to move
out to another country. But it's like, isn't
this, don't you like consider this your land?
Don't you want to stay and fix it? Like, you
know, if Iran came and invaded us, we wouldn't
just flee to Canada. We would try to defend America.
So why don't we try to fix the problems? But
then, you know, Megan was saying like, obviously
a lot of, a lot of black people feel like, you
know they were their race was enslaved for whatever
how many hundred years and now um they feel like
everybody kind of looks down on them and how
do you like love a country where everybody hates
you like where you're like a minority that everybody
kind of looks down on dude i really i like time
out bro i just don't think like racism exists
on the level that people make it out to exist
like not just like people but like not on the
level that white people make it out to exist
like it's really like like if if white people
didn't have racism they would have nobody to
say it's just like racism is more about white
people just patting themselves on the back about
helping people than it is about i think that's
what modern racism is yeah it's like dude most
people just fucking get along man like honestly
most people that i know just get the fuck along
no they don't bro i work in the er and i have
a fucking terrible day every day because nobody
gets along everybody has a problem with everything
and everyone around them and i think that's why
like i'm talking about i'm talking about like
like dude if you go to play like a game with
somebody right like of a different race like
i would say there's like 10 different races and
you're playing like i don't know volleyball it's
like dude everybody gets along and just plays
it's like nobody gives a about race man like
like it it's like i don't know if like i'm having
a conversation with somebody their race is so
far down on the list of things i give a about
Well, yeah, that's because you're a normal person
that's not a racist, I hope. Unless they're Irish.
What? Then it's like, unless they're Irish, then
I'm like, I know this person's like probably
a little bit of a sociopath. But that's because
you're a normal person who knows that, you know,
racism is bad. But there's a lot of people that
are just racists that are like... No, it's not
even that I know racism is bad, dude. It's just
that it just doesn't even cross my mind. But
would it cross your mind? But Dan, would it cross
your mind if you had never seen another person
of a different race before? Like, if you just,
like, had never seen a black person and you just
saw one? Like, the fucking Indians did when they
saw white people? Like, would you not think that,
like, you should have some kind of danger coming
from that person? Like, if I had never seen...
Yeah, like, if a huge fucking boat the size of,
you know, a fucking mountain. Comes up on the
shore and they say like the Native Americans
couldn't even process it in their brains and
they couldn't even see it Like don't you think
that they thought that was like the end of the
world? Don't you think that they had some caution
to it to the white people? Yeah, but here's what
I'm also gonna say is like don't you think that?
Racism is a little bit of an evolutionary Mechanism
Yeah In a society where... Don't you think that
language, like us having... I'm sorry, I cut
you off, Casey. Go ahead. No, I'm saying in a
society where, like modern day America, where
it's not like a big deal to have people of different
races. Like you're used to having people, you
know, people of different races all living with
you. Like it's not like the Native Americans
back when... the white people came over and they
had never seen another white person before. Like
if your brain, you know, is kind of ingrained
that I don't have to stick with my race. I have
to stick with my people. Like, you know, it's
not about race. It's about we're Americans or
whatever. Then that's like kind of the modern
way of thinking. Yeah. Dude, I'm sorry. I just
zoned out. Can you summarize the last like 10
seconds? No, I said it's not about race. It's
not about like, like we don't come together based
on race anymore. We come together based on like
nationality, I think more. Is that true? I don't
know. I don't know. We don't, we come together
more on nationality. Who's we? Like Americans.
So, so summarize what you're saying again, because
I'm not, I'm not grasping it. We don't. So like
in the past, people in the past, people used
to think like you stick, you have to stick with
your race because that's what's safe. That's
like what we know. Like the other races are danger.
Like, you know, the Europeans coming over are
danger. The white people are dangerous. But now
it's more like about race. Like if you're an
American, then I know we're on the same side,
like in a war or something. It's not about race.
Right. That's how it should be. Right. Right.
That's absolutely how it should be. But a lot
of people don't think like that. A lot of people.
you know there's a lot of like racism where people
think that you know back when segregation happened
they're like oh what's wrong with segregation
why can't like the races just be separate like
what's wrong with that well dude i think separate
but equal right humans everything is constantly
evolving right and if it doesn't evolve it dies
so I think, I mean, I gotta, I'm not, look, what
I'm about to say can sound pretty bad, right?
I'm sure in the context of this episode, it won't
matter. Right. Dude, racism in history had utility,
right? To protect your tribe. You're supposed
to be racist. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying
in the olden, like the old, the old times, it
was like that. You had to be racist. But now
I don't think it should be like that anymore.
No, right. But that's because we've evolved.
And that's why America is made up of every nation
and every tongue. Like, we are the best of everybody.
And we're also the country that's trying to get
rid of racism. Like, probably on the forefront
of that, right? Yeah, it's like after, you know,
9 -11. I was watching the video with George Bush
on his speech after 9 -11. And he says, like,
we got to remember that there's, like, you know,
thousands or millions of Arab Americans living
in the U .S. that are peaceful. And, like, this
is not, we're not against Islam. We're against
the terrorists. And I think a lot of people,
like, started attacking the Muslims. After 9
-11. Because they saw everybody. From that ethnicity
as the same. Kind of like bad guy. Right. And
I mean. Dude that's so deeply ingrained. In humans.
Like. Very deeply ingrained. Like beyond. Dude
it's like almost in a reptilian brain. Right.
To just. To just throw people into groups. Right.
And there's outsiders and insiders and dude,
people do it with all kinds of things. It's like
in group versus out group, right. With everything.
So race is just, that's a low hanging fruit to
just like in group out group, you know, but we're
always constantly trying to do it with, you know,
people that like the same things as us in group
versus out group. It's them versus us. Like,
you know, people. at jobs do the same thing people
with a religion do the same thing like there's
the outsiders and then there's the insiders you
know um yeah like if you're you know if you're
a cop and you have a partner that's a different
race than you you're not gonna be like you're
gonna be like oh yeah we're the on the fucking
same side because we're partners right you're
not gonna see like the race right right so it's
like humans with everything they're trying to
in -group and out -group and um it's harder to
to group people it's easier to group people based
on the way they look because that's the only
information you have about them when you look
at them right right it's easy it's just an easy
go -to like you know it's like humans it's like
they almost have hierarchies of these like in
-group versus out -group You know what I mean?
Like even at like a company, it's like management
versus like people who aren't management. Like
it breaks down in all kinds of ways. Yeah. There's
all kinds of in -group versus out -group hierarchies
that exist. And yeah, race is just, that's just
an easy one to throw out there, you know. But,
you know, maybe it had some utility 500 years
ago. you know or like and even sooner than that
even more recently than that like maybe a hundred
years ago 200 years ago there was some utility
in that because we're still kind of like you
know america's not that old man like think think
of how quick the last eight years went by since
this podcast we're about to air oh it's only
been 250 years that's not you know long right
so what what percentage The age of America is
that. Of what? So that eight years. Right? Oh,
like eight out of 250. So eight times 250 divided
by. No, just. Divided by 100. No, no. 20%. No,
just 20. What is it? Just do eight divided by
250. This is 0 .032. 0 .032, so it's 3 .2%. 3
.2 %? Yeah. That's it? Yeah. But, I mean, dude,
hold on a sec. Hold on. Let me see. What was
that? Huh. All right, so say it was 3%. right
just since we did that podcast three percent
of the age of the nation that was three percent
of the age of the nation dude that's that it's
like in its infancy still like this country is
is an infant yeah i guess but like everybody
that is alive today was born here so it's like
i don't know it's kind of established Where was
I going with that, though? What was I saying?
Oh, so say within the last couple hundred years,
like, there was a time when racism had its utility
for people trying to protect their tribes, right?
But we've been so intermixed. The next evolution
of humans is to get rid of it, right? Because
we are one tribe. Yeah, the next evolution of
humans is just to have everybody look the same
and have just, you know. medium light brown skin
like everybody has the same skin color right
yeah and you know in the next in the next 100
years that's what's going to happen and maybe
i think more like 500 cool dude it's kind of
cool when you think about it like you just everybody's
going to have the best of of everybody and that's
like the best of what's around you know the best
of the entire world came here And then those
people all interbreed. Why do people say that
the best people came here, though? Dude, because
the best people did come to America, the smartest
people. Are you talking about the Europeans?
Why wouldn't you come to America? Are you talking
about the Europeans? When I say the best people?
Yeah. No, I'm talking about the best of India,
the best of China, the best of Japan. What about
the best of Mexico? Are they coming? The best
of Germany, the best of Mexico. Hell yeah, the
best of Mexico, bro. So then why don't we want
the Mexicans coming in? Are you fucking kidding
me, bro? You know how hard those fucking... Donald
Trump said, they're not sending their best, they're
sending the drug dealers and the rapists. That
was the quote that he said. Well, maybe he has
some information we don't have to. Well, I mean,
the argument was that illegal immigrants that
are coming over are not good Mexicans or whatever.
They're gang members and cartel members and murderers.
Might be true. I'm sure there is a lot of those,
but you think we're getting the best Mexicans?
I don't know, man. I think the Mexican food is
definitely getting better. Oh, dude, Don Juan's
Palace. What's that? Don Juan's Palace. Oh, dude,
yeah, we got to try that. Yeah. Yeah, we got
to go there. For sure. I heard it's pretty good.
Pretty good Mexican food. Yeah, we'll have to
do an episode there. Live from Don Juan's, not
in VR. Casey, I'm getting a little tired, man.
It's 2 .24 in the morning. I've been going all
day. I've been going since 10 a .m. All right.
Yeah, that was a good July 4th Independence episode.
And, you know, I just want to say before we go
on. saying that racism had utility in the past
right it it did but the next evolution of humans
is to to obliterate that so and i think that's
where we are right now you know i think i think
we're going to i think dude racism isn't even
going to be a thing in 20 30 years it's gone
gone dude it's gone damn that's a wild prediction
Yeah, for protection of the tribe, you know,
it had utility. Dude, so you think the people
that are racist, like the people that are racist
now, 30 years from now, they won't be racist?
Yeah, I mean, mostly, dude. It's mostly going
to be gone. Because a lot of those people are
going to be dead, depending on how old they are.
Because, dude, a lot of the younger generation
is really racist, man. It's getting... You mean
the older generation? Well, the older generation
is going to die, yeah. Yeah. But the younger
generations aren't racist, really. Right. You
know? Yeah. So... But, yeah, anyway. Anyway,
thanks for listening to the Freedom episode.
Hope you're not offended by the shit that we
say when we're driving around. 2017. But if you
are, write us an email. Untitled Podcast 73 gmail
.com There it is. Go out there and have some
freedom. Do whatever the fuck you want. Freedom
of speech. Say whatever the fuck you want to.
Shoot guns. This is fucking America. Freedom.
2025, baby. Like us on Facebook. God bless America.
As always, be kind to yourselves. And each other.
We out. Why 4th episode? It's the independence
episode, or the freedom episode, if you will.
That's right. What does freedom mean to you?
Well, freedom to me means that we got away from
Great Britain because of taxes and because of
over -control by the government. And oddly enough,
that's right back where we are. So I don't really
know what good that did. You know what freedom
means to me? What does it mean to you? It means
going out. Leaving a large fried onion and becoming
more clearly obese and dying. 100 tech. Well.
That's freedom. That should be banned. That's
freedom right there. Yeah, but. I can do whatever
the fuck I want. No. No, let me ask you this.
Except smoke pot. Let me ask you this. Should
you really be free to do that? Smoke pot? Should
you be free to do whatever you want? No, I don't
think so. Should you be able to eat yourself
to death? I thought you were a libertarian. Well,
I want to know your opinion on this. No, I don't
think so. But people are always going to do what
they want to do. So you don't think that you
should be able to go out and eat whatever food
you want? I don't think... Well, obviously it's
a big problem. But it's not harming anybody else
to take your point of view on it. Well, it harms
us and EMS when we have to lift these people.
But we also get paid. because there's more of
a demand, because there's more diseases. So we
want this to happen. Well, we don't want this
to happen, but it's giving us jobs, and it's
getting us paid. It's inevitable. It is inevitable.
Do you think that pharmaceutical companies want
people to be sick? Oh, yeah, definitely. They've
been holding out the cure for cancer for, like,
years. Do you think they actually have it? I
think they do, yeah. Really? I've heard a lot
of stories about that. That they've cured cancer
and just want to benefit off of people. Well,
they cured hepatitis C. People still get hepatitis
C a little bit. Yeah, but they cured it. It cost
$100 ,000 to cure it, but... Well, just got to
find the next disease to push on people. Just
make one. If somebody doesn't die off of hepatitis
C, then they might get another disease. Everybody
knows... Barack Obama invented AIDS. Did he?
He did. I'm pretty sure that it was around before.
What the fuck? What is that? Hold on. Side quest.
Wait, was that a training? I don't know if that
was a training or just like... Transgender person,
I mean. Okay. You're politically correct here.
Why is my phone not charging? Huh? No. Oh, now
it is. I don't know what that was. You mean he
or she. My friend was a savage. Yeah, so we were
talking about this earlier, that a guy who used
to be a guy became a woman, and he married a
woman who became a guy, and now the person that
looks like a guy is pregnant by the person who
looks like a woman. So my thing is, from an economic
standpoint, It would have been a hell of a lot
cheaper just to say the gender you are. Yeah.
Than just do it that way and pretend. Like, you
know what I mean? But what if you identify as
the opposite gender? Well, I mean... But if you
identify as the opposite gender, does that mean
you are attracted to the other gender? Not necessarily.
So, let me get this straight. Because this is
making my head hurt. My mind is blown right now.
This is really hurting my head. So, let's get
this straight. So... A girl wanted to be a guy,
right? Changed to a guy. He got pregnant by a
guy who wanted to be a girl. Who is a girl now.
But now I want to know. But not really a girl
because she didn't have his sex change because
the guy got pregnant. So it was like, it was
like a... Here's what happened. A chick with
a dick fucked a dude with a vagina. And he got
pregnant. Is that so hard to understand? Welcome
to 2017. Jesus Christ. Have you tried to explain
this to people in the past? I don't think it's
really that obscure. I mean, how many times in
history could that possibly have happened? Not
many. Yeah, because before it was not socially
acceptable to change genders. Man. That guy that
switched, that girl that switched to a guy, really
does look like a guy. Yeah, like a feminine guy.
See, now here's the other thing. Right? Now,
if these girls start switching genders, and now
they look better as a man than I do. That's a
little bit of an issue. I don't know how I feel
about that. Maybe you should become a woman.
I mean, man. That's rough. Rough world out there.
We should both become women. Dude, some of them.
Some of them out there. Those, uh... I mean,
they have six -packs and stuff. It's crazy. Is
this a standard? Yeah. Oh, damn. What are they,
trying to hitch a ride? I don't know. So we're
driving around in Dan's car after our shift,
after we stayed three and a half hours late just
to do this podcast because we're so dedicated
to it. So this is ambulance sessions, but not
in an ambulance tonight. Yeah, this is car sessions.
This is diesel sessions. VW, standard VW sessions.
This is freedom sessions. That's right. Man.
We've got to do that thing where... We do an
episode for a fallout shelter. What do we got
here? Should we talk to this girl? No. Why? Because
she'll be like, go the fuck away. I'm going to
blow my rape whistle and call the cops. But she's
pretty cute. We should just say hi. Dude, do
you want to get pepper sprayed? What are two
local EMTs pepper sprayed after a harassing girl
in a park? Now she's running. Jesus. She's running?
Yeah, I probably should have kept her in the
headlights for so long. Wait, is she actually
running? Yeah, she's running. What? She just
started running. I mean, if you're going to be
in this park after dark, I would never be here
after dark. I don't know what she's doing. You
know how many people got raped here after dark?
I believe it. Like, seven. Seven people. Like,
yearly? You have a seven in 100 ,000 chance of
being raped right now. And usually it's by someone
you know. What you mean is crazy. Because if
you're in the park after dark and somebody you
know walks up and then rapes you, it would be
like, man. I'm just saying in general, you have
a chance to get raped by someone you know. Really?
Yeah. Yeah, I think that's just like an availability
thing. Tell that to the girl that blocked you
on Facebook. Tell us about that girl that blocked
you on Facebook. Well, see... She blocked me
because I don't like her feminist stuff. Her
fucking feminazi bullshit. Yeah, she goes way
over the top with it, to the point that it's
propaganda. And it's just like, it's not just
feminist stuff either. Like, she had this picture
of this rabbit that was cut in half. What was
that about? And it showed all the cigarette butts
that that rabbit ate before it died, and that's
what killed it. And it's like, there's like a
whole fistful of cigarette butts, and then one
in its mouth. And it's like, okay, I'm sure that
it did not die with one in its mouth because
I've never seen a rabbit with cigarette butts
in its mouth. That was obviously placed there
by whoever cut this thing in half. And two, I'm
sure as they were sawing it in half with a bandsaw
that the cigarette butt did not stay in its mouth.
Yeah, that was fake news. Yeah, exactly. That
was alternative facts. Exactly. There's that
story about the mother and daughter who own the
chicken place and they got beat up by these two
uh this father and son no daughter father and
daughter no no i thought they were dating what
that looks like your dad no i think they're dating
Really? They're married, yeah. Oh my god. She's
got his name tatted on her. That guy was like
500 pounds and the girl's like 90. Yeah, he's
not, no. Oh man, I feel sorry for her. She's
gonna have... Whoa, whoa. Some Leo Kaka here.
Sorry, my iPod just came on. She's gonna have
crushed lung syndrome, I think. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
But no, they looked like they had fake bruises
on. Yeah, I mean, I have some pretty dark purple.
Yeah. And her like butterfly stitches are like
hanging off. It looked like they just made it
look a little worse before she went on. So she
got mad about the chicken, it was called, and
there weren't enough fries. I think that's why
you don't serve cold chicken, right? Well, I
mean, listen. The guy kicked both their asses,
right? Or the girl kicked the mom's ass, and
the guy kicked the daughter's ass, who was like
15. The African -American folks... Kick the Caucasian
folks out. Yes, yes. And you got a couple good
whales in. Man, I'll tell you. On that 15 -year
-old. And the mom, like, really took a beating.
And it's like... You know, you're standing in
line for 30 minutes. You just got off of work.
You just want some fucking fried chicken. And
it's cold. What do you do? Yeah. You obviously
beat the owner, though. Well, okay. Are you going
to stop for this real quick? So, there's two
sides to every story. Well... Sometimes. That's
what I'm going to say. There's two sides to every
story. One, you don't know what transpired prior
to this ass -whooping, if I may. I mean, she
could have brought out some frozen chicken and
been like, here you go, and then dropped an N
-bomb or something. Like that. That justifies
kind of what they got. And because nobody's ever
that angry over some cold chicken. Well, I know
a few people around the city who would be. Yeah,
but I mean, you know, this guy made it this long.
They came this far through life without ever
kicking anybody's ass over chicken. Well, I mean.
You don't know that. You don't know the criminal
history. They're still wanted, by the way. The
cold shoulder. They're still out there. And this
was in Georgia, you know, where it's like they
lost the Civil War over slavery. And there might
have been some snarky remarks where it's like,
why don't you take your cold chicken and say
something racist. Anybody listening in Georgia,
don't serve cold chicken. Don't serve cold chicken.
Because they're still out there. You might get
beat to shit. Or that might be how you catch
them. Oh, shit. With some chicken. You know what
I mean? Lure them in. They should nationally
mandate every restaurant to serve cold chicken
until they find these people. We got them again.
Damn, they got away again. The chicken bandits.
I mean, I just wish there was audio to go along
with that. You know? Yeah. I'd really like to
know what he said. You know? I'd like to know,
you know. How cold was it? If it was, like, a
brick and they were trying to get a point across,
like, it was completely frozen. Then it would
be justified, right? Yeah. She said it with,
like, a smile. Don't forget the fact that there
weren't enough fries. Oh, that's right. There
weren't enough fries. Catch some more of that
later. Yeah. For sure. Definitely. We should
call KFC and be like, damn doom. Chicken cult.
I'm about to come there and beat your fucking
ass. Gunshots in the background. Oh, damn, dude.
Yeah. What are the topics? Let me see. I made
a list here. So, I have an issue. No red on red.
You see the sign? That's okay. Let the record
show that Dan just committed a felony traffic
violation. I just did a right on no red. A right
on no red on red. A right on red on no red on
red. If you will. Yeah, that's what I was trying
to say. If you may. If I may. If I might. So
I have an issue with Facebook. What's that? Well,
because Peter Dickington's account got banned.
And I think I should be able to make fake accounts.
And I made an account for Don Juan, and it wouldn't
let me post anything. Banned instantly. Yeah.
And it was like, I got blocked out, and they
said, you have to identify your friends. Sure.
And they're all just a bunch of Asians. Which
just makes it very difficult. Yeah. Because it's
like... They look the same. Yeah, what if you
legitimately created an account just recently,
and you're friends with a bunch of Asians? Yeah,
what if I had no friends? You'd have to identify
them. It makes it difficult. I'm not going to
say it's impossible, but it's definitely hard.
Peter Dickington's the kind of guy who doesn't
have many friends. Yeah, yeah. So if he wants
to friend a bunch of Asians, then... But he's
got a cat. Go ahead. He's a cat, right? Yeah,
he's got a cat. But that picture was like in
the 80s, so it's probably dead by now. Well,
some cats live 15 years, 15, 20 years. Yeah.
But they also wanted me to send them, like...
Oh, well, yeah, that was in the 80s. 15 years.
15 years. That'll get you to 1995. Yeah. They
also wanted me to send a birth certificate or,
like, driver's license. That's insane. Yeah.
Like, I'm going to go to a fake ID company and
become Peter Dickington. Just give the guy a
picture of that. uh, guy with the mullet and
the cat. You should have drawn it with crayons.
Good enough. And then, uh, oh yeah. So I was
on, um, Facebook one night. This was a while
ago between before, after the last episode. And
I messaged one of our coworkers, like, can you,
uh, trade with me for the shift, um, on Saturday
or something. And I closed it, and then later
I went on to Messenger to see if he replied,
and he didn't say anything. So I went back on
my computer, and it was logged into Peter Dickington's
account. So I messaged him as Peter Dickington.
And I was like, oh, fuck. I was like, shit, everybody's
going to know that this is me, and they're going
to listen to the thing. And then I'm going to
get fired. You're going to listen to what? To
this podcast. And see all the shit I posted on
Peter Dickington. All that racist shit. So I,
what's it called? Not deleted your account, but
you like disabled it or something. Yeah. I disabled
the account, yeah. It's like, who the fuck is
Peter Dickington? Yeah, you don't post anything
blatantly racist, but just like... Oh, I comment,
but he's blatantly racist. So I saw him at...
So Peter Dickington is obviously, if this is
your first podcast, is his alter ego that he
uses for trolling. Yeah, yeah. Which I have to
get a new one because Facebook blocked it. Maybe
they'll unblock it. Yeah, I don't know. But I
saw the guy at the station, and he was like,
I saw that you traded requests to me, but I'm
really bad with technology, so I don't know how
to do that. I was like, thank God. Thank God
you're horrible at technology, because then you
would find out all that shit. So I just enabled
it again. And it turns out if you send somebody
a message, you can't make them not see it. But
if you delete your account, it just makes it
so that it says, like, from unknown person or
something. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah. That was
a smart move. Yeah. But now it's back up. Or,
no, it's not back up. It's banned. Fuck you,
Facebook. That's my main point. Fuck you, Facebook.
So, what headlines have made you angry recently?
Oh, man. You know what? I was watching this video
yesterday, and it was a Buzz Aldrin. Oh, I saw
that. He was behind Trump. While he was giving
a speech. And he was making all these different
faces. It looked like he was really making fun
of his speech. Yeah. You saw that? Yeah, that
was hilarious. It looked like he was really being
like, you know. Yeah, because Trump was talking
out of his fucking asshole. Well, apparently
Buzz Aldrin. He has dementia and involuntary
movements. Oh. Like that, and that's what was
actually coming out. But it really does look
like he's actually mocking the president. Good
for him. Yeah. Why do I have to respect the fucking
president? Nobody says you have to. You're going
to be the second man to walk on the moon. You
can do whatever the fuck you want, basically.
He's the first man, right? No, it was Neil Armstrong.
Are you sure? Yes. Are you positive? Yes. I did
a report on this, and I should know. I guarantee
who it was Neil Armstrong. It's not that it really
matters. I'm parking in the hood real quick.
Oh, God. We're going to stop. Oh, we're going
to get shot. Right in the hood. If this is our
last podcast, we love you all. Yeah, we can just
park somewhere, so you don't have to drive around.
Who the heck? Well, it doesn't really matter
who was first, because it was like two minutes
apart. Really? Yeah, Buzz Aldrin was the one
that stayed inside the spacecraft, right? Until
Neil Armstrong? Yeah, Neil Armstrong said...
No, he didn't stay inside. He just got out right
after Neil Armstrong. The other guy stayed inside.
Oh, man. Can you imagine being that guy? He never
even got to, like, step down? No. Oh, dude, you
went all the way to the moon. Because somebody
had to stay in it, like, just in case. Oh, that
sucks. So we were, like, trapped there. Oh, hold
on. I'm getting some, uh... I'm getting some
messages here. All right. So I think we should
play a little game of which would you rather.
Oh, I love that game. Yeah. You should get some
questions going here. Yeah. Yeah. Provide somewhere
to park. All right. We'll park right where the
bus parks. Oh, God. No, we'll park somewhere
safer. Somewhere where it says it doesn't say
we accept EBT and food stamps. Because we're
in the straight hood right now. Okay, so first
question. Which would you rather? Give up cheese
or oral sex? Man, I mean... Wait, are you doing
the oral sex or are you having the oral sex?
Well, if you're doing it, then I'll give that
up. I mean, it's basically the same thing. What's
that? It's basically the same thing if you're
giving the oral sex. Why? As cheese. That's disgusting.
Oh, man. That's disgusting. I don't know where
you've been. I was being facetious. I mean, that's
called bacterial vaginosis, my friend. BV, for
short. I don't know. I guess I'll give up the
cheese. I don't like that question. Can I just
give up the cheese when I see my girlfriend?
The other day is go back to the cheese. No. No,
you've got to give one up forever. Oh, man. I'd
rather... I'd give up the cheese, I guess. Yeah.
Give up the cheese. Would you rather eat only
roadkill for the rest of your life or have everyone
else in the world sound like Gilbert Gottfried?
What? Well, you can get, like, that brain disease
from eating roadkill. You can get that brain
disease from listening to Gilbert Gottfried.
I would rather have people sound like him. Oh,
man. I don't know about that. I mean, if you
cook up roadkill nice and tender, if you cook
it, there's no bacteria in it. What if it's fresh
roadkill? This guy right here looks like CJ from
Grand Theft Auto. He looks like he's... Anyway.
Let's see. I don't like that question either.
It's hard to say. Would you... Would you rather
always have to say everything on your mind or
never be able to speak again? I usually do say
everything on my mind, so I'll go with that one.
Man, man, I don't know. I would probably, I'd
probably get murdered the third day. You do.
Like Tourette's style shouting out what's on
my mind. I could, oh, I'd get jumped so fast.
Ass, ball licker, cocksucker. Ass, is that from
South Park? South Park, yeah. Piss in my ass.
Is that what he says? Kyle's mom is a fat kike.
Wait, wait. Wait, what? What is it that he keeps
saying? What? Compulsively that he can't stop.
I think it's, I don't know, the guy that advocates
for Tourette's keeps saying piss out my ass.
And he keeps saying, what does he say? Cunt.
Cunt shit piss whore. I don't know. Yeah, he
just says a bunch of. Kyle, you stupid Jew. Fat
cunt bitch. Ass. He just like says that. Piss
out my ass. Fat cunt bitch. Kyle's mouth is a
fat cunt whore. That show is hilarious. Yeah.
Oh, man. So I'm going to go with that one. I'm
going to go with probably never be able to speak
again. How could you do the podcast then? That's
true. Yeah. I could write it down, my thoughts,
and then you tell everybody. Oh, just talk in
a different voice. Because that way I won't get
my ass kicked. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Which would
you rather? Be itchy for the rest of your life
or be sticky for the rest of your life? Sticky
with what? I don't know, just sticky. Just sticky?
Like, feel sticky or have stuff on you? Like,
sticky. Probably, like, stuff sticks to you because
you're sticky. Oh, man. I'm already always itchy,
so I don't think that would be that bad. No,
and I had hives for, like, six months, and that
was, like, a trial run, and it sucked, but, like,
people felt bad for you, so it was kind of, like,
okay. You had a trial run of having hives? Yeah,
I had hives for, like, six months straight. Where
do you need a trial run? There's, like, a trial
run of what it would be like to have it for the
rest of your life. So I'd be okay with, like...
Like, you did a trial of, like, what if I get
gonorrhea? No. No, I was itchy all over. I had
hives everywhere. From what? I don't know. I
don't know. Maybe it's something in the water.
Went away. I took antibiotics and it never came
back. So... I think the government was trying
to pollute the water. Probably. Like, Flint,
Michigan. Yeah, Flint. That fucking governor,
he didn't give a shit about his polluted water.
He got charged with federal crimes, though. Did
he? Yeah. Get out of here. Yeah. What? Yeah.
He was charged? Why? It's not his problem. He
can't help that the water's polluted. Because
he just ignored it. Yeah, well, I mean, you know,
he didn't get into it to take care of that kind
of thing. He got into politics to be governor.
He wanted to be the boss. Yeah, he just wanted
to be the leader of most people to not care about
if they die or not. I mean, that sounds like
a personal problem. Flint, Michigan mayor. Let's
see this. I'm quite interested. Karen Weaver?
I think that's a new one. Since 2015. Oh. Wait,
did that happen in 2015? I don't know. Just look
at Flint, Michigan mayor charged. Well, he was
charged with it. Doesn't mean he was convicted.
Well, yeah. No, it was her. It was her? Oh. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I think it was a woman. Hmm. That sucks
for her. It sucks for the people of Flint, Michigan,
actually. Oh, I mean, come on, there's a bottle
of water. Get with it. Jesus. You know what I
mean? What's a 24 -pack of water cost? Three
bucks? If you drank out of your tap or your filter
or whatever and you got deadly diseases. You're
telling me they couldn't taste that it was like...
You can't taste those... Oh, come on. No, you
can't taste that. No, I can taste when water's
off. Some water that tastes good, I can taste
when it's off. If I put cyanide in your water
right now, it doesn't have a taste. You'd just
die. How do you know? Have you tasted it? I've
poisoned people before. Wow, man. There's that.
Well, I mean, I feel like I'd be like... Or ricin.
This water tastes like poison. I just slipped
some ricin into your food. It can't be tasteless.
It is. Haven't you seen Breaking Bad? I did.
Yes, I did. Yes, there you go. I should re -watch
that. Oh, it's such a good show. They should
do like... You know, they should do a schedule.
where they, like, replay it on Netflix. Well,
you can just watch any episode you want. No,
I know, but that's not fun because if they replay
it, then you know other people are watching it
at the same time. You know? Sure. It's like when
a song's on the radio and you know you could
look it up on your iPod anytime. Or you could
just watch it with, like, another living person.
Yeah, but that's not fun. You know? I want to
know that other people in the world are watching
the same thing I'm watching. Well, I think they
are because a lot of people watch Breaking Bad
on Netflix. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Michigan Attorney
General filed new charges today on investigation
into the Flint water crisis. Standing with members
of his team. He's charged Michigan Department
of Health and Human Services. Hmm. Involuntary
manslaughter. Wow. Yeah, yeah. With their alleged
failure to act in the Flint water crisis. Yeah,
they didn't do anything. They knew it was poison
and they didn't do anything. They really did
nothing? Yeah. Wow. Well, what if they were also
poisoned from drinking the water and they couldn't
think right? I don't think it affects your ability
to think. Whoa. Mind blown. Hold on. Fuck. Hold
on. Fuck. If I was a lawyer, I would totally...
Because that's not like public officials to not
act on something. They love doing stuff to look
important. Unless it costs money. So they just
did nothing? They're obviously poisoned. What
if Buzz Aldrin was affected? We just took this
to a whole new level. That's why he was making
those faces. Let's see if he was ever in Flint,
Michigan. Buzz Aldrin was born in Flint, Michigan.
I used to talk to this girl on some random fucking
site like four years ago that went to college
in Flint, Michigan. Really? Yeah. Was she like
kind of messed up? Well, I didn't talk to her
after that happened. I stopped talking to her
a while ago. Yeah, because, you know, I wouldn't
want to talk to somebody like that either. No.
It's from a place that's poisoned. What? No,
I'm just joking. Why'd you stop talking to her?
I don't know, because I got a girlfriend that
was real. Oh, oh, I see. So she was just like...
She was just like... She lived in Michigan. Was
she pretty? Yeah. Really? Yeah. You should try
and get in touch with her right now. I have a
girlfriend. You should go on Omegle. Yeah. Talk
to some people. That's, like, so fucked. Why?
Because everybody's just, like, a pervert on
there. Yeah, you're kind of right. Yeah. They're
just, like, they're, like, um, what do they say?
ASL. Age, sex, location. And then they just instantly
send you a picture of their dick. And it's, like,
okay. Or they're, like, or it's, like, definitely,
like, the FBI. And they're like, hey, I'm 14.
How old are you? It's like, I'm gone. This is
Chris Hansen. You know Chris Hansen? Yeah. Oh,
somebody had, there was a joke on Facebook about
Chris Hansen. They should say, they said somebody
that's like underage, like 13, should go on,
on, oh, fuck, on Omegle, pretending to be a predator.
and get Chris Hansen to, like, catch him and
come to his house. And then the kid actually
sends him pictures. Yeah. And then Chris Hansen
comes to his house, and he gets arrested for
being a predator. The kid said that they were
one. Yeah. And then he's showing up to the house.
It's all messed up. She'd be like, you want to
see my dick? Why don't you take a seat? Why don't
we take a seat? That episode of South Park. Where
all the pedophiles start shooting themselves.
But it's like in a theater, right? Yeah, no,
it's on the set of Chris Hansen's show. Oh, it's
on the set, yeah. They're like, oh my god. They're
all just in line to like... There's that gun
app. Shoot themselves. I don't know if this is
going to stop the tape. Actually, I met a girl
in Omegle when I was like 23. I ended up dating
her for like eight months. Really? It's a long
distance. Yeah, she lived like four hours away.
But it was kind of funny. How was it funny? I
mean, it's just funny. It's like it ended up
being like, you know, a relationship. Fuck. It's
so weird that I can't believe I met her online.
That's so weird. So weird to think about. I don't
want to buy a $10 gun. No, I do not. Yeah, but
I met, like, I had, like, when I was in ninth
grade, I had, like, this fake girl that I said
I was dating from, like, Oregon. In what grade?
Yeah, like, ninth grade. Eighth grade, ninth
grade. And you weren't actually? Well, I mean,
it's not really. It's just like talking to somebody
on the internet. So it's kind of like fake. It's
fake news. It's fake news. Basically, when we
get calls now, I'm going to be like, listen,
dispatch, that's fake news. We shouldn't just
dispatch calls based on fake news. I'd like to
see if this is real. Turn flashing light off.
No. Let's see if this works. Damn it. What, it's
not working? The sound's not working. I think
it's because I have the recorder on. Maybe you
gotta... What about your ringer? Oh. Nope, this
is the recorder. That's alright, I got it. I
forget why I was even doing it. Oh, the Chris
Hansen thing. Oh, shit. I forgot to shoot through
my radio. It's down. We're going to have ten
cop cars pull up on us. Oh, sorry. Somebody's
going to come out here and fucking shoot us.
Yo, I told you. I ain't your baby daddy. Bitch.
Get off my porch. If that ain't my fucking baby,
then get the fuck off my porch. You see those...
I just like, yeah, it should probably be a little
quieter. There's like people walking across the
street. But it's 4th of July and they won't know.
Yeah. You're free to make gun sounds if you want,
right? I wish there was just a button. It's fucking
frat chicken cold. I want some warm ass frat
chicken. Bitch. Did you ever see those, uh...
Did you ever see those videos, uh... Where they
drive around, like, in cars and they make, like,
gun sounds? No. Oh, I saw a video where the guy
does a fake drive -by shooting with, like, an
unloaded gun. Oh, Jesus. That doesn't sound real.
No, it was. It was, like, some pretty hardcore
pranks. Oh, no, these. That sounds pretty real.
There's also one where the guy ties up a bike
to a tree. like a little invisible string on
it, and people steal the bike, they start going
down the hill, and the string catches them, and
they just fly the fuck off. Yeah, I've seen that.
Yeah. It's the, what is it, the bike thief prank
or something like that? Yeah, I've seen the one
where the guy went up to a bunch of Mexicans,
and he was like, hey, you looking for work? And
they got in the back of the truck, and he took
them to the U .S. immigration office. Oh, Jesus.
Oh, wait, wait. That's not the U -Haul one. No.
Which one are you talking about again? Ari Shaffour,
the comedian. Oh, and what did they do to the
people? There was a bunch of illegal immigrants,
and they said he needed help building a deck.
They put him in the back of his truck, and they
took him to the U .S. Immigration Office. That's
awesome. He started blowing a whistle. They're
like, I got him! That is hilarious. Did they
run? Yeah, they took off. That is too funny.
There's a series of pranks like that called The
Amazing Racist. Dude, I have to see that. Yeah.
There's another one where he hired a guy for
a gas station and he put him in a cage and took
him to the border patrol. There's one where he...
Went into the dry cleaners and the hood in a
KKK suit. Oh my god. That is so fucked up. I
think there might be a stage there. Like a sketch.
Look up the amazing racist. The Mexicans learn
a hard lesson. Let me see. The amazing racist.
Yeah. Jesus Christ. Who comes up with this stuff?
Is that the right one? Yeah. Today what we're
going to do is we're going to talk to the lowest
of the low. Mexicans. Yeah. Yeah, that's not
the right video though. Look up the amazing racist
Mexican prank. Oh my god, this guy's terrible.
Yeah, okay I'll take all you guys. Yeah, just
hop in. Just hop in. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no.
Not in the front. I just watched the cab. I need
you guys to get in the back. Yeah, you can't.
Yeah. Oh, my God. This guy's a dick. Hold on,
Beaners. He's playing a character. Sorry about
that. I didn't see it. Oh, is he? Yeah. There's
another one. Is that actually what I mean? No.
The great thing about Beaners is they are always
willing to work. Always. That's what they're
good at. They're good at working and having babies.
They think they're coming over to my house with
my dick. What they don't know is that we're not
going to my house. We're going somewhere else.
I'm not going to ruin the surprise, but we'll
be there in a minute. Oh my god. Oh my god. Apparently
they can read. There's six of them right here!
I got them! Okay, yeah. I don't know what the
fuck you just said. Macarena! Something like
that. I don't know. We're almost there. Get ready
for this. There's one where he gives black people
a free boat where he's back to Africa. Oh, my
God. I got him. That's literally all you have
to do to get them. That's what I do every couple
weeks. Just to get rid of, you know, thin out
the herd a little bit. Make sure they don't populate.
Thin out the herd a little bit. Amazing Racist
on, let's see, pre -boat rides back. Come get
your boat rides. Free one -way trips on a boat.
Who loves boats? It's on the beach. Luxury cruise.
Can I interest anyone in a luxury cruise on a
steam liner? Are you interested in a boat trip?
Look me in the eye. That would be a lot more
respectful. It's like you don't know your place.
How are you guys? Hey. Can I interest you guys
in a boat ride? We're giving away free boat rides
today. Boat ride? Yeah, it's just a free boat
ride. We're trying to get... What do you guys
call yourself? African -Americans back to Africa.
Oh, my God. You know, where you're from. Hey,
man, I'm from here. What the hell are you talking
about? There's been a lot of talk about how white
people stole black people and brought them here.
So we're trying to make up for those wrongs by
offering free chips back. I'm from here, man.
I'm from this city. What the fuck are you talking
about? Please, Dr. Huxtable, take it down a notch.
I'm just trying to help you. I'm just trying
to, because I don't have 40 acres. I don't have
a mule. Dude, what is your problem? Oh, no, he
didn't say that. It's free, sir. It's free. and
you guys if you just step on it you have a great
time there's tons of stuff in here there's malt
liquor if you got malt liquor hey man yeah i
don't drink if you want to get all right all
right drink okay calm down say whatever you want
but we have we have everything if you want to
get your hair there's a salon it's called fantastic
sambo hey hey hey this is my wife no you need
to come over there man no no no no come on don't
get Don't be upset, sir. I'm just trying to be
the nice one here. I'm just trying to help people.
You're fucking trying to be nice. Why'd you get
this piece of shit off the... I'm trying to,
but I need to fill it up. It's a great line.
Did you tell them about the basketball? Yeah,
we have basketball. Don't be angry. We have sunflower
seeds as well. If that's at all of an interest
to you. Sir, have you ever tasted lion meat?
It's delicious. He said you're number one. Free
trips to Africa. How does this guy keep a straight
face? I don't know. Hi. Hello. Hi. Can I interest
you in a free boat trip? Are you guys with each
other? Where? Oh, we're getting free trips to
Africa. To Africa. What's the situation here?
Hold on, what? What do you mean? You never get
white guys with black chicks. Really? Not since
the Next Door Neighbors and the Jeffersons. You
don't, listen, it happens when you belong. You
won't need that helmet and hair you'll have going
on. You're talking about I am supposed to be
not human? Holding a watermelon? You know what?
If I come up that fucking place, your ass is
going in that damn water. Don't let me come up
there. Don't let me, motherfucker. Don't let
me come up there. Listen, in Africa, your violence
will be rewarded instead of punished. You know
what you need to do? You need to get your ass
out of there. Were you a security guard at the
jail she was in? Are you serious? Do they work?
Do they work? I don't think they work. You have
to steal everything. Do you want it back? There.
Because I'm a civilized person, I'm not going
to beat your ass fucking senseless. Civilized
people don't even think about it. What the fuck?
This is really stupid. Don't you know we're in
the 21st century, all right? That's what I'm
trying to say. If you bleed, you're red. If she
bleeds, you're... Eat it. What the fuck? Eat
it. Okay, okay. Eat it. It smells delicious.
Follow it. Follow it. Eat it. You can do it.
What I want you to do I want you to look at people
and realize that your ass is not 100 % whatever
the fuck you are Shouldn't you be keeping your
eye on her so she doesn't run away? It's like
they don't know we're trying to give a gift You're
a good man. Free trips to Africa. I did not do
this. Free trips. Hello, man. How are you? What's
up? We should do this on a prank call. We're
giving away free trips today. Free boat rides.
You guys should go. You should totally go. Sounds
fun. Yeah, we only have room for one more. So
just her. I'm really sorry. Oh no, my friend
has to come with me. I know. I know. I'd love
to have you there. But no, it's just... It's
not really for you. It's all we can have right
now. For what? Just black people. We're trying
to get them to go back to Africa because... Dude,
what? One, that's where you're from. And two,
a lot of people don't want you here. Are you
black? Just to make sure. Wait, is this for real?
Yeah. What percentage of black are you? Are you
black? Yes, it's black. You have a shade. I'm
shocked right now. Check the shade thing. Dude,
this is... The black girl so she looks better
What? Guess what? Nailed it. You want to hang
out with minorities, some people like you better.
But you're a minority. You're a Jew. I am not
a Jew. They're the grossest of the gross. Listen,
Africa's an amazing place. The movies start 10
minutes late, and you can talk all the way through
them. Oh, my God. There's eight pieces of watermelon,
if you're interested at all in that. A watermelon?
Yeah. You know what? It's delicious. I'm going
to put this up. First of all, you don't even
know me. I can't even believe you would even
do this. You don't even know her. You hate watermelon?
I don't even like watermelon. Come on, Brandy.
You know you want to go. Because I'm black and
fried chicken. Is that fried chicken? You guys
are ridiculous. Oh, my God. I cannot believe
you. You're an asshole. Come on. Okay, come back.
You know what? No. Fuck you. Who are you to say
this? Oh my God, dude, that guy takes it too
far. He takes it way too far. Yeah, that's why
it's funny. Jeez. God. Well, I think we got to
do some prank phone calls. All right. What else
does this guy do? Ari Shafour, he's a stand -up
comedian. There's a bunch of amazing racist videos.
Oh my God. He's Jewish. I don't know how he gets
away with it. I think those are staged. Yeah,
they must be. Yeah. They must be. McDonald's.
Hello, I was wondering if you had accepted Jesus
Christ as your Lord and Savior. As your lord
and savior. That was the shortest prank phone
call. She's probably like, what the fuck? I probably
should have started 6 -7. That's kind of creepy
at 1 in the morning. Right? Yeah, we're gonna
ask her if she accepted Jesus. She's probably
like, what the fuck? She's probably gonna be,
like, stair -blocking to her car now. She'll
call her back. Jesus. Be like, okay, I'll see
you later, then. Oh, my God. Yo, damn, dude.
You should, uh, put those on here. Yo, what time
the N train come? Can you repeat that? Yo, you
know what time the N train come? The N train?
I can't hear you. The N train. The N train, the
subway. What time the N train come? 80. Or should
I say, to where? New York. To 168th and... Martin
Luther King, by the way. Yo, what time did the
N train come? What? I'm sorry. The N train. What
time did the N train come to 168? I'm sorry,
I can't hear you. No, I was wondering what time.
This is Subway, right? Yes. The Subway times?
It's Subway in the mall. Yeah, what time did
the Subway come? Six o 'clock. We closed tonight.
Six o 'clock. Damn. The N train coming at six
o 'clock? Nah, damn, dude. I'm talking about...
I'm talking about the train. Subway. I can't
hear you, honey. And your phone's breaking up
a little bit. Damn, dude. Now what was that?
You're saying train? Train, train, the train.
Like a true, true train. The subway. The subway
train? Subway, yeah. What's up? The N train.
We don't have a train here. The N train? I thought
this was a subway. 168th Street. Oh, damn, dude.
I'm looking for the subway times. Oh, my God.
Oh, damn. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Thank you so much.
Damn, dude. You're welcome. Bye -bye. I'm like,
I didn't know how to do the Ebonic. 168th Street.
Yo, 168. She was so nice. They might not be able
to hear you because we're in this thing. Yeah.
Or you just are talking, like, complete. I don't
even know. I'm, like, eating the microphone.
Yo, damn, dude. Damn, dude. Damn, dude. I want
to call CVS and ask them for Magnum condoms.
Hi, yeah, I was looking for an item. What are
you looking for? Do you have the Trojan Magnum
condoms? What size pack do you want? I'm not
sure. Probably the largest one. Yeah, I'm definitely
going to need a 12 because I'm trying to rail
my girlfriend tonight for the 4th of July. What
size was that? All right, thank you. I'll come
down there. Yep. Dude, I didn't do star six seven.
Fuck. I could do it. They're gonna have my number.
I'm, like, shaking. Oh, my God. They're gonna...
She's like... I can't believe I just told a stranger
I was gonna wear it. I'm like... And she's, like,
magnum, so I guess one size fits all. I don't
think so. Well, not with my fucking white ass.
Yeah. I got a big chow on me. You'd be like a
fucking windsock. Oh, my fucking God. She, like,
didn't want to do it with me. She was like, this
fucking guy. Well, at first she was serious,
and then you see her, and you're covered. She's
like, mm -hmm. She's like, yup. That's fucking
hilarious. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I think Don
Juan needs to ask for some Magnum condoms. Damn,
though. Or what's the other thing I said at McDonald's?
I mean, damn, I'm flying solo, but I don't like
to make a mess, so. Yeah, I need them just for
myself, dude. Damn, dude. Oh, man. Oh, yeah,
the fries. Yeah. Yo, hello? Yo, well, I was wondering,
how many, uh, yo, how many fries you guys got
in, like, a large fry? How many fries is that?
Wait, what was the question? How many, how many
fries is, like, in a large fry? In a large fry?
Like, if you order a large fry? Yeah, how many
is that? Like, how many count? What is that,
like, uh, like, maybe, like, 60 fries? No, like
exactly. How many is it supposed to be like?
Six ounces. Six ounces? Alright, because I counted
them and I found that you guys have been like
real inconsistent like with how many fries I'm
getting. Sometimes I get like 65. Sometimes I
get like 58. I get fries way more. I'm not sure.
Sometimes I get like a couple half of fries.
But who do I complain to about this? Hello? Yo,
hello? Hello? Yo, hello? Yo, yeah, bro, I think
this dude hung up on me, bro. Yeah, bro. Yo,
I'm back. Hello? Like, sure. Yeah. Let's see.
Let's just go with your crazy fantasy. Did you
like the obnoxious chewing? Yeah, that was great.
All right, here we go. Yo, my name is Don. I
was wondering, how many... How many fries come
in like a large fry, dude? How many, uh... How
many fries come in like a large fry? No, no,
no, bro. How many fries? How many french fries?
No, how many french fries? Damn, dude. How many
fries? How many count? What does it count? Count.
Damn, you know how to count? Count, bro. How
many count is a large fry? I don't know. You
don't know the number? Yeah, I don't know. You
don't know what I'm talking about? Damn, dude.
You know how many come in a small? How many come
in a medium? How many come in a large? Damn,
dude. What do you know? You know what I mean?
You don't know how many count a large fry? Damn,
dude. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to get it all
bent out of shape, bro, but I gotta know. I tried
to put on rap, but that was not recording, so.
That's kind of a dick to him. Yeah. You're a
fucking dick. You should call him back and apologize.
I hope I didn't ruin it. been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this
planet? Fuck no. No, no. We are jumping down
this fucking rabbit hole. Yes, we are. There's
people out there with some really dumb thoughts.
Extended episode. Where the fuck did this gearman
go? you can sell them to the Chinese somewhere
in China some days what the fuck there are super
soldiers super soldiers then they are extraterrestrials
they are aliens I think that the government has
taken it to the next level with the birds. They
know what birds are going to cross paths with
you that you are going to be able to raise. Which,
by the way, big brother, is the Overlord Kidder.
Okay?