The following program is intended for mature
audiences and may cause cancer in at -risk populations.
Viewer discretion is advised. For all we know,
robots have souls. We just don't know if they
do or don't. How do you know? Have you ever been
a cyborg or a robot? You think we were the first
ones to inhabit this planet? Fuck no. No, we
are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole. Yes,
we are. There's people out there with some really
dumb thoughts. Extended episode. Where the fuck
did the spearmen come from? Where the fuck did
Stonehenge come from? You're telling me that
they didn't die and become ghosts? They're killing
all the already born babies and sell them to
the Chinese. Aliens exist. Somewhere in China.
some days what the fuck there are super soldiers
super soldiers then they are extraterrestrials
they are aliens Welcome to Untitled Podcast Take
3. Episode 110, boy. We're here at D .O .P. Coaches'
new album. We have Kyle Franklin, the guest.
Episode 110, Dan DeLaney. Oh, yeah. Casey, yeah.
We don't know where it is. It's fucking cold.
All right. So we're talking about, we're talking
about basketball's hierarchy of needs. If we
are in a simulation, like that actually is Dave
somewhere. Kyle, why were we talking about your
hierarchy of needs? We were talking about white
guilt. We got to talking about white guilt and
how, and Dan had said, you know, I started stumbling
and doing the, you know, I didn't know what the
fuck to say. You know what I was saying? Dan
was like, well, if your needs are met, Blah,
blah, blah. You know, maybe you start paying
it forward. And I said, well, I just think rich
white people have guilt based off of what white
people have done in the world. And then we got
to talking about if my needs were met. Ultimately,
we found out a lot of my needs are not met. And
Casey just lost it. I tell you about my recent
diagnosis. of how fucked up i am and in case
he goes you know what i'm gonna do and not record
it no you know you know what the worst thing
that he lost is and now i think we have an echo
dude i can hear myself all right we're back so
we're you know i still hear myself this actually
all happened just because i shifted this thing
like fucking a centimeter to the left So we've
started the podcast four times. We lost 25 minutes
of it. Just to tell the viewers what's going
on, the listeners. Of gold. 25 minutes of fucking
gold. So, I mean, should we go all the way back
to our first masturbation story? Oh, we lost
the masturbation stories! I think that was a
good thing. Oh, no! I think that's where we start.
I forgot about the masturbation stories. So Kyle's
first time. Should I start from the top? Yeah,
just give a brief summary. So, there used to
be, for some of you children out there that are
listening, some of you hot, sweet young boys
that are out there listening. There was never
full pornos. You used to have to pull up the
clips. It would be like, you know, Stella Cox
swallows large cock down her throat part two
of eight you know and they'd be like fuck by
the way oh you love stellar cocks don't you yeah
me too it's my favorite oh she is so it dude
she could throw the cock um don't get me started
i'll not i will not on this podcast right here
bro so anyways so you'd have to find all eight
parts of the video if you wanted to watch the
full video and so i had pulled up all eight parts
i think it was a sarah stone video i pulled up
all eight parts of that video and they were all
in tabs right and uh but did i lose you guys
no no all right good good good you guys are just
good listeners all right and uh so i'm just sitting
there watching you know each five minute clip
or three minute clip whatever they are just playing
with the head of my cock with my thumb you know
because it felt pretty good i'm like this feels
pretty good I got halfway through the video and
all of a sudden it was euphoria and fear at the
same time. I said, what is happening to me? What
the fuck? Nothing came out. I was 10 years old.
It's fucking like, oh my God. And I got up. I
stood straight up out of the chair. I was scared.
On the family computer, by the way. You know,
this is fucking like 2000. I'm 10 years old.
This is 2004. So I stood straight up. There's
no fucking nice computers. Nobody had a laptop,
whatever. This is the big fucking white Windows
98, whatever, big fucking thing that weighs 8
,000 pounds. I stand straight up in the chair
and go, holy fuck. And I run out, put my sneakers
on, grab my basketball, and go down with the
other kids. They're playing basketball. I said,
you know what? I'm like, I can't tell anybody
about what just happened. I'm pretty sure something
just happened. I don't know. This is bad. He's
like, this is worse than 9 -11. I was like, I
just watched 9 -11 happen three years ago. I'm
like, this is fucking terrible. I don't know
what just happened. Could you imagine if you
had your first orgasm? On 9 -11? On 9 -11. Somebody
did. A lot of people probably did. There were
a lot more than just somebody. There was a lot
of people that had their first fucking orgasm
on 9 -11. Yeah. And ever since then, they've
been fucked up, bro, you know? And they've been
fucking like, the only thing that makes me calm
is watching millions of people lose their lives.
Jesus Christ. It's so funny. So, yeah, and so
I go down to play basketball. The fucked up part
was the next day I was on the family computer
doing the same thing. Like, that got me addicted,
you know, to jerking off every day. To make a
long story short, I go down to play basketball.
I come back. We eat dinner, blah, blah, blah.
And my father goes in the family computer room
to obviously do the same thing that I had just
done three hours ago. And he comes to my room
and he goes, he's like, Kyle, as men, I understand
that we have needs, but I'm not going to talk
about what we found on the computer. Oh, is that
where the hierarchy of needs came from? It might
have been. He goes, I'm not going to talk about
what I just found on the computer. But you need
to start being more careful because your mother
uses that computer too. Close the door and walk
out. And I fucking was still laying in bed and
I wanted to be like, I wanted to look at my dad
and be like, what happened to me? What was that
father? And he would come in and be like, You
came, son. This is what we lived for. When I
was like 11 or 12, I was thinking about the hot
Vietnamese girl at school just touching my dick
and all of a sudden I had an orgasm. So what
was yours, Casey? I was playing Harry Potter
and the Chamber of Secrets on PS2. Oh, God. What
the fuck is that? A children's movie? No, it
was a video game on PS2. For children! How old
were you? I think I was 12. So what happened?
2007. I don't know. My parents left me alone
for one of the first times. And I started fucking...
My dick started getting hard. And I fucking rubbed
it against my fucking blanket. And then the fucking
shit came out. And I was like, what the fuck?
And then I was like, I gotta fucking, you know...
I gotta cast some spells. I gotta go back and
play Harry Potter. You ejaculated. Yeah. Damn.
You ejaculated your first time. I think so. Yeah.
My first time, dude, I don't think I actually
had anything come out for, like, three years
of me jerking off. Yeah, mine was, like, clear
for a while first. Like, I can't remember the
first time that I actually, like... No, I do,
actually. I do. Because, um... We had three cousins
in my family, right? We were all the same age.
We all lived on the same street. And my one cousin
had fucking told us all about how he would fucking
drop loads and we were fucking little boys because
we couldn't fucking do it. Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. All this and that. And I remember
the first time I fucking shot Notto over the
family keyboard. Oh my God. I called him up and
I said, I just came all over the family keyboard.
I don't know how to get it out. What do I do?
He goes, I don't fucking know. I've never fucking
shot a load before. Oh, no. Almost five years
he's been telling me he's dropping loads. So
he's lying. Yeah, lying ass motherfucker. Jeez.
But, you know, that's how the Irish are. We're
all fucking, you know, fucking conniving bastards.
Yeah. So to get to the top of the pyramid here.
Casey, you lost the whole fucking pyramid. Yeah,
so you know, you obviously got masturbation.
So you're just physical. Let's explain to the
viewers, the listeners, what Maslow's hierarchy
of needs is. Yeah. If you know what that is.
It's just like things you need for. It's a hierarchy.
Yeah. Like you can't go up to the top. You can't
go up to like. Self -esteem when your physiological
needs. We know I have food and water, right?
When you're homeless. Yeah. So the bottom is
physiological needs. And we were breaking. Oh,
my God. Bless you. Thank you. Wait, what's at
the top? Well, at the bottom was what's at the
top? Yeah. Self -actualization. Desire to become
the most that one can be. Oh. So that's like.
When, like, Buddhist... Fucking fake British
Buddhist monk achieve nirvana. I feel like...
You know what? I think I just identified my problem.
Really? My pyramid's upside down. It's upside
down? I think that's why we were talking about
it. Because I was talking about the fake British
Buddhist monk who, like... We were talking about
it because of white guilt. yeah he has all like
his fucking food and all his he just like basically
gets to masturbate for like 20 hours a day and
like be in a garden and shit and like has all
his food paid for like why garden because that's
actually oh that's a really good pro jam song
garden like we pay for fucking religious people
and pro and prisoners to basically survive for
free you agree with that Yeah, we do. Are you
there, Kyle? Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking about Pearl
Jam songs because he said Garden. It's one of
my favorites. I'm like, to the garden. You know,
whatever. You want to worship Buddha, why should
your food be free? Yeah, that's weird. I mean,
but people donate. Yeah. I think personally,
I think like the wildest thing you could do is
like donate to a fucking church. Why? Yeah, I
agree. I like, what good are you doing? Well,
I mean, too bad Tyler isn't here to defend religion.
Actually, you know, so I actually had a really
good argument. Maybe you guys can partake in
this, right? The other day, I was training a
guy at work, a new driver or whatever, and there
was a homeless guy outside of the Sunoco, right?
So we walk up there. My trainee doesn't pay no
mind to him when he's asking for money, and the
homeless guy's like, hey, man, can I get like
five bucks? I said, you know, here's your chance
to be 1 ,000 % truthful with me. What are you
going to buy with that five bucks? He's like,
I just need a couple of beers. I said, all right.
beers right two natty daddies yeah a sandwich
and and i fucking pay for that and i you know
whatever stuff i got i bring it i give him the
sandwich a bottle of water two natty daddies
and he's super thankful he's like thank you so
much can i give you a hug i said yeah give me
a hug come here Give me a hug, brother, you know,
whatever. I look at him and I say, listen, man,
you know, this is shit. Whatever you're doing
here, it ain't worth it. Figure out what you
want. You only get one life to live. When you
die, the lights turn out. It goes black and that's
it. You know, there's no heaven or hell. There's
no afterlife. Like, this is all you got. You
know, figure out what you're going to do. He's
like, thank you so much. Thank you so much. And
we get in the truck, me and the trainee afterwards.
He goes, why would you buy that fucking drunk
two beers? And I said, you know what? I said,
that drunk? You think he wants to live like that?
You think anybody wants to live like that? He
goes, well, he's doing it right now. I said,
you know what? He told me, truthfully, he wanted
a beer. I bought him two beers. I bought him
a big -ass bottle of water to make sure he's
hydrated. I bought him something to eat because
he probably hasn't eaten in a few days. I said,
some people like that, they've never been loved.
Those people that live out there have never been
loved before. And, you know, if I do this for
him and I give him that, that might be the first
time he, in decades, that he's ever felt an ounce
of love. And that little bit of love might be
what pushes him to move forward and correct his
life. What a guy. Yeah, damn. I never do anything
like that. But it's all it is. I mean, it's,
you know, people think about it. You know, I'll
buy a fucking bundle of heroin for a heroin addict.
and give it to them. Jesus Christ, dude. I'm
just saying. I mean, buying somebody a beer is
one thing, but buying them... No, but if that's
what they're using my money that I give them
for, if I buy their fucking heroin and give it
to them, maybe they look at the heroin and they
go, no, but listen, listen, maybe they look at
the heroin and they go, this shit ain't worth
it, bro. You know what? That guy loves me. And
if I fix myself up, maybe other people love me
too. because all they want to do is be ultimately
everybody in the whole world all they want to
do is be loved you know everybody has negative
actions all day long they're not feeling any
love and you just give them a little bit of love
maybe they need that's a little bit of love they
needed to fucking turn their life around yeah
you know yeah that's why like in uh in school
my instructors used to say like um people who
didn't get a warm hug when they were young that's
like heroin is like their warm hug basically
right damn that's fucked up yeah wow no but it's
true i mean if you've never been you know dan
when you grew up right you had two parents right
and they both loved you and they took care of
you and you got to go home every day to a mother
or a father that would hug you and and whatever
yeah so There's people out there never, they've
never even experienced that. The shit that you
take for granted, they've never even, they don't
even know what a warm hug is. They don't know
what that is. They don't know what it's like
to cuddle with somebody or get a little peck
on the forehead and have somebody say, hey man,
everything's going to be all right. You know,
you're going to be fine. They don't know what
that is. Yeah. Damn. If I'm the one that can
provide that for them for that five minutes,
that little bit of love that they feel in their
heart might be what turns their life around.
And if it is, I'm happy for them. You know, it
does nothing for me. You know, it's not like
a selfish thing. It's just I would rather if
I had $5 in my pocket, you know, say I had $100,
right? I need $100 to pay the fucking electric
bill, but some guy needed $100 to make his life
better. I'm probably going to give $100 to the
other guy because I'll figure it out. Go buy
the homeless guy two beers. That's how you make
the world better, right? No, but that's really
all it is. I mean, like, buy the homeless guy
two beers. If you can find it in your heart to
help a homeless guy get drunk, you can find it
in your heart to help anybody. You know, you
can actually make the homeless happy. You can
be happy and homeless. It is possible. It is
possible. That's a reference to the very first
episode. Happy and homeless. Man, that was a
long time ago, Casey. That was, we actually recorded
a July 4th episode. Remember that one? Oh yeah.
Like 2017. Yeah. Ambulance sessions. I should
just fucking release it. You should, that should
be, you should re -release it as one of the episodes.
I can put, yeah, I could put it on like, cause
I can't do next Thursday. I'm working so I can
make that the July 4th episode. Dude, that would
be awesome. So we, all right, all right. So we
can't do. A July 4th episode because it was a
fall on. Well, I'll be off on Friday, actually,
after I'm going to the fireworks. Damn. Yeah,
that's that's a good idea. So you should re -release
that. Right. Was that the first or second episode?
That was like probably the third episode. Yeah.
Re -release that and then we'll do like what
is it? Not an epilogue, a prologue. Oh, yeah.
And we'll talk. React. to it yeah we'll talk
about it yeah talk about how things have changed
oh yeah because that was like that was like the
first year of trump's first presidency dude who
would have thought like now it's like the first
year of the second yeah who would have thought
that he would be the president again you know
yeah fucking grover cleveland motherfucker yeah
but uh Oh, actually, my favorite. One of my favorite
moments from this week was saying this. We have
two countries that have been fighting so long
and so hard that they don't know what the fuck
they're doing. You understand that? He's so mad.
I love the fucking bag of tears. Oh, my God.
They don't know what the fuck. They don't know
what the fuck they're doing. They've been fighting
so long and so hard. that they don't know what
the fuck they're doing. You understand that?
Amazing. I love it. It's like, dude, it's always,
every day you wake up, it's like something else
crazy is going on in the White House. Dad, how
do you feel about the decision to drop bombs
on Iran last week? I probably wouldn't have done
that. Like me personally. Do you think Kamala
Harris would have dropped bombs on Iran? No,
no. So I heard a fucking wild theory, dude. Kamala.
So you know how Epstein, they say that he was
there to compromise people? Right. And he was
getting money from the Israelis. Yeah. Well,
he was. He was. So I heard a theory today that
the Israelis, because of that, through Epstein,
they've got dirt on Trump and they needed him
to drop bombs on Iran. And he didn't have a choice.
They do. They have like fucking videos of Trump
with kids at Epstein's Island. I don't know that
I take it that far. No, they do. Maybe they got.
fucking proof of him banging a 17 -year -old
or something. Yeah, you definitely do. Have you
guys seen the theory of when after World War
II, the British were like, you know what? I'm
thinking about it in my head. This is going to
sound really bad. The British were like, you
know what? The Jews do control the banks in the
world. And blah, blah, blah. So it's like, why
don't we get them a nice little spot down in
the Holy Land and just send them down there?
And we'll control the Holy Land and we'll have
the banks in our pocket. And that's where Israel
came about or whatever. So who controls it? The
Jews. Yeah. That's the thought process. The Jews
control the banks and all that. I mean, they
do, though. I don't think that's a thought process.
I haven't said it on the podcast yet. I'm very
vocal in the group chat, right? I think, God,
if I don't make it alive after tonight or whatever,
you understand it's true. I think the Catholic
Church in the Vatican is what people consider,
you know, what people say that... We lost him.
Jews? Oh, I just heard Jews. There. You got to
back up a little bit, Kyle. We're losing you.
Okay, so I think, do you got me now? Yeah. So
I think what people think the Jews are, right,
by controlling the weather and the banks and
all that, you know? I've never heard they control
the weather. No, that's a common one, Dan. the
democrats control the weather daniel come on
it's america god that is great why do you think
it's fucking 100 degrees this week you know we
think like the jews control the banks in the
world and everything right like that's what people
think right it's not it's the catholic church
It really is. It's the Catholic Church runs the
world, bro. They are, and they're getting paid
to do nothing. Yeah. Like, you fucking make a
donation to the Catholic Church, they don't get
taxed. They get fucking people's donations. And
they basically just get to live for free, right?
If you're like a priest or something. Yeah, dude,
they've been running the world since, like, The
second century. Yeah. And you could be like,
eh, all you want. You're retarded. Open your
eyes. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. No, it's not
maybe. They run the world, bro. What are you
talking about? They run the fucking world. I
think MAGA is falling apart. No. I think this
is the end. Bro, you basically elected another
George Bush. Can somebody... Wait, can somebody
explain to me... Actually, hang on. I drank a
lot of beer. I kind of got to go piss. You guys
do your thing, and I'm going to come back here
and be like, can somebody explain? We're going
to do this again. I love the listeners. If you're
10 years old, don't be afraid if you don't come
yet. You are going to orgasm. Jesus Christ. Make
sure you close the porno on the computer. All
right. Yeah, dude, I don't think like we just
took out their nuclear facilities and then immediately
negotiated a ceasefire. And then they broke the
ceasefire like 12 minutes later. They dropped.
They literally unloaded all Israel, unloaded
all their bombs onto Iran after the cease because
they're like, you have 12 hours left before it
starts. So, OK, we'll just drop all our bombs
on now. Right, right. Yeah. So that's what Trump
was pissed about. Yeah. He's like, what the fuck
is wrong with you guys? Like I, you don't say
somebody's like, Oh, so I ran, broke the ceasefire.
He's like, yeah, I'm not happy with Iran, but
I'm also not happy with Israel. Like we don't
say there's going to be a ceasefire and then
you go drop more bombs than you've ever dropped
on them. Yeah. It's like if we say, uh, there's
a ceasefire in 12 hours at the end of world war
two and we just fucking drop an atom bomb in
Japan. It's like, no, you're like working towards
stopping. God, they're just like, sometimes they're
just like, Man, it's like, yeah, they're our
ally, but they're like our ally that's going
to get us fucking annihilated. You know what
I mean? It's like, how come you have beef with
everybody? Well, because they're surrounded by
a bunch of Muslims that want to kill them. Right,
right. I'm not defending Israel. I think fucking
Netanyahu is a homicidal maniac. Yeah, I don't
know if he's a maniac. I mean, I guess you can't
know. Unless you were them, right? Yeah. But
it just seems like... I feel like... I don't
know. I don't know. I don't know. I can't really
have an opinion on it because I don't have enough
information. Well, I mean, it comes down to,
do you think that we should... Send American
troops to go to war in Iran. No, fuck no. Yeah,
exactly. Do you think that we should let Iran
develop a nuclear weapon? Well, if they're adamant
that they're going to use it against Israel,
no. It's like it'll never happen. Fuck Israel.
Why do we have to defend them, though? Because
they're our ally, dude. And, look. Like you said,
all our banks are Jewish. They can become not
our ally, though. We can easily make them not
our ally. No, you want them as your ally. Why?
Why? Yeah. Goldman Sachs. Let's see. Because
of money? One of their banks, yeah. Yeah, I would
probably keep them as your ally. Good allies
to have. Right. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I mean,
dude, they're our allies, but... I don't think
that we should get fully involved. It's like
what happened with like dropping the bombs on
Iran. It was like, it's like, it was, they were
up on stage. Right. And then we went up and just
took the fucking mic and took over the show.
It's like, no dude, like that's their show. Like
let them do it. They were happy that we fucking
dropped those bombs. Yeah, they were. And then
totally disrespected us by going and fucking...
Well, it's the big show. Avoiding the ceasefire.
You know, breaking the ceasefire. It's the big
bad show tonight. So, hold on a second. We got
a couple things we missed out on because we deleted
the first 25 minutes. So, let's say... Kyle,
the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Kyle doesn't
have clean air. He doesn't have clothes. Kyle's
basically homeless. But is he happy? Happy and
homeless. As long as you're happy, dude. Am I
happy? Are you happy? You could be happy and
homeless. I'm paying all this money. Kyle got
a new mental health diagnosis. Which one was
that? You don't have to say it if you don't want
to. Disassociative identity disorder. Which is
kind of like split personality, he said. It's
exactly that. Because of trauma, he said. You
have fragmentation of your personality. Going
through divorce. Yep. Could come back together
though. They're just trying to stay separate
for a while. Probably not. Probably won't. Do
you want it to? I think part of me does, part
of me doesn't. I don't know. It's a weird situation.
to be in. How long you been together? We're going
to go into a therapy session. Seven or eight
years. Wow. How'd you meet? Well, me and Shane
were working together as partners at Brunswick
and she was a EMT student with Shane. You know,
I just slid my greasy little self in there. Wow.
I didn't know she was a whacker, too. Yeah. I
mean, she never did anything with her EMT, but
yeah, she hasn't. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, so she
didn't become one of us. One of us. Right, but
she took the class. Right. Right. What does she
do for work? She's a retard wrangler. She works.
Oh, Jesus Christ. She is a teacher's assistant
for special ed. Oh, damn. Retard wrangler. Oh,
my God. That's awesome. Dude, do you think...
I saw a video of this guy, Down syndrome guy,
testifying in Congress about how people find
out that their babies have Down syndrome in utero
and then abort them. Do you think that's ethical?
Do I think it's ethical? Yeah. Bro, come on.
Like, life's hard enough without Down syndrome.
Right. Can you be happy and have Down syndrome?
You can be very happy, but the people around
you are miserable. People with Down syndrome?
They're the happiest people in the fucking planet,
bro. It's just everybody around me. Life's a
dream. All you gotta do is drop off John Cena,
and they're like, what? yeah give me down syndrome
fuck man i want to be happy dude i mean like
all right life has its challenges right yeah
so just imagine having down syndrome on top of
that like it's no dude like you don't no just
save somebody the trouble like i'm serious i'm
serious like i it's not even to me it's not even
a question it's too too difficult as it is Without
that kind of shit going on. It's hard enough
just with normal challenges. And then it's just,
I don't know. I'm going to stop talking before
people think I'm... But then it's like, now that
we have the ability to test people's DNA before
they're born, do we basically abort everybody
that has a genetic defect? Well, I think I wouldn't
stop at Down Syndrome. I think I'd keep going
all the way up to... What the fuck? I like how
Elon Musk... I like how Elon Musk's son, he like
bred them in... in vitro fertilization in order
to have like the best genetic traits and now
they're just like i'm trans and he's like oh
you're disowned did they yeah he didn't he's
like dressing yeah he's like dressing like a
girl now he didn't select his children no he
did he selected their genetic traits stop yeah
and he had them fertilized uh in vitro in vitro
no way he's the richest person in the world he
obviously can do that they have we have the capability
to do that right but did he actually I really
think he would probably just nut and leave it
in and call it quits. You think he went through
all that trouble? No, he selected the best DNA
traits that he had and put them into his son.
How do you do that, though? You have scientists
analyze your DNA sequence and based on that,
they can tell what genes you have. They can make
it so that... You don't have any genes that are
causing any disability. You can have more intelligence,
more physical strength, shit like that. Okay,
but how do you get that into a sperm cell is
what I'm saying, I guess. Oh no, you just find
the sperm cell with the best DNA. Well, how do
you get it? Well, you shoot millions of sperm
when you fucking shoot a load, right? So you
just find the one with the best DNA. Okay, so
what I'm saying is like, how do you wrangle this
one? How do you lasso that bad boy? Get it into
the thing that checks it and then not kill it.
We have the ability to actually turn on genes
on and off. So if there's a gene that we want
to select for, we can actually introduce, I forget
what it is, but we can turn the gene on and off.
So you can pick which genes you want. That's
fucking wild. So they lasso this fucking sperm.
Pull it into the fucking gene checker. They turn
whatever genes they want on. Damn. Can you imagine
being a scientist that's got to pick through
Elon Musk's fucking cone? You guys aren't asking
the important questions, right? What's the important
questions? Fuck, marry, kill. Nancy Pelosi. Oh,
fuck. Rosie O'Donnell. Oh, God. Kill. Whoopi
Goldberg. Kill. Fuck, marry, kill. Let me hear
it. Let me marry Whoopi Goldberg. Fuck Nancy
Pelosi. Oh, you have to have one of each. Yeah,
kill Rosie O'Donnell. Fucking Rosie O'Donnell.
No, what? Oh, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on. I'm
fucking Whoopi Goldberg. That's a soundbite.
It's going black. It's going black. No, no, no.
Okay, okay. I'm marrying Nancy Pelosi. Oh, wow.
Because you want the power. You're power hungry.
Yeah, I'm marrying Nancy. No, I really want to
fuck Nancy Pelosi. No, I'm going to marry her.
I'm going to fuck. I'm going to fuck Whoopi Goldberg.
I'm going to kill Rosie O'Donnell. If that doesn't
get clipped, if that doesn't get fucking clipped,
it adds to the intro. Dude, my options are pretty
limited. I don't want to wake up next to her
every day like somebody you're married to. Killin'
Rosie with a huddle? Yes! Oh, fuck yeah. Fuck.
What was yours, Casey? I got the soundboard out.
Fucking government! So what else? What is that?
Is that your dog? Dude, did you see how... Yeah,
my dogs are going nuts. Somebody might be here.
I actually might have to hop off. Oh. Get him
on the podcast. Yeah, get him on the pod, dude.
Is it your ex -wife? Get her on the podcast.
I think it is. I think it's the issue. Get her
on the podcast. Yeah, get her on. We'll do a
therapy session. Yeah. Couples therapy. Me and
Dan could fix your marital problems. This is
what I need is you guys. You guys diving into
my fucking broken marriage. My broken life. Yeah,
get her on, bro. Yeah, get her on right now.
I don't know. There is somebody here. I'm not
sure who. Dan, did you hear this guy, the liver
king? He eats fucking liver and shit on Facebook.
He drinks bone marrow. He's trying to kill Joe
Rogan. Yeah, he was trying to kill Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan's always talking shit about him because
he's like... Do you know the whole scandal with
the Lever King? No, not really. Oh, dude, he
said he was natty, which means you're not on
any steroids. Oh, yeah. For the longest time,
he's telling people he just eats fucking so much
meat and drinks bone marrow and shit. And he
had like... extremely defined like abs like that
looked fake yeah and just like like muscle on
top of muscle he just he said he lives like the
fucking seven primal tenants like he gets light
he gets like uh the the proper movement and like
all this bull like yeah and he was joe he got
caught injecting massive and all joseph was like
you know all joseph was like you don't look like
that without you know not being natural right
everybody knows that like it's just like yeah
but this guy went down and he went fucking mental
he went down to Austin he was driving down to
Austin to kill Joe Rogan yeah he was making threats
online right pre -labeled box and he's like you
know what's in this box a fucking loaded gun
and he's like I'm gonna kill him and his whole
family or whatever because only He was actually
on the way. Yeah. It all started because he wanted
to be on the podcast. And Joe's like, no, not
until you admit that you're a liar. You know?
Right. And the guy's like, I'm not a fucking
liar. I'm fucking liver King. Fucking daddy,
bro. Which you're fucking retarded. If you want
to be on test, be on test. It's not even test.
Dude. The test would never do like, would never
get you to the way that guy looks. Like straight
testosterone. Your testosterone could be fucking,
uh, like something insane, dude, like 2000. And
you'll never look like that. That's, that's like
a fucking, what is it? Trenbolone. Uh, what else
do they use? Deca. Like, that's like some heavy
duty shit. I think Deca, Deca and Tren are like
the two big ones. Yeah. Yeah. That's so basically
what happened is he went into a roid rage. I
think it's more than a roid rage. I think he
just, like, something went wrong in his mind.
Oh, wow, he's going mental out there. What was
that? I was reading on this Reddit. These guys
are saying that their gay friends turn straight
when they take Tren, which is a steroid. Oh.
They've reported that gay men actually have attraction
to women when they're on it. It changes their
hormones. Well, don't gay people actually biologically
have lower testosterone? No. That's just me stereotyping.
Yeah, no, that's not true at all. Did we lose
Kyle? I think we lost him. No, but I know, like,
obviously... Kyle dipped out. What do you think
about the gay accent? Where do you think that
comes from? The gay accent. Because I read that
people that grow up just being around women all
the time develop a feminine voice. No, man. I
think it's a similar phenomenon to upspeak. You
know what upspeak is? No. It's like, maybe I
can do it. It's very big in California where
they're always talking like this and there's
a rising inflection on the other sentence. It's
kind of an accent. Really popular in Tech Valley.
That's upspeak, right? So it's just a thing.
It's like speech is almost contagious. And when
you're hanging around other people, like -minded
people, just even hanging around Tyler, I say,
type shit now you know what i mean like so it's
like it just it's it's contagious it's like you're
starting to call people socialists yeah exactly
so i think that's what it's about i don't think
it's anything like actually like to do with their
upbringing or like just like like if you threw
a gay kid in a fucking closet for like 20 years
and threw him scraps of food and he'd like he's
gay right but when he comes out he'd have like
this fucking like are you talking about the lisp
or like the well do you think being gay is genetic
or is it lisp anymore it's like right but the
lisp used to be more of a thing yeah right is
it genetic or is it influenced by like the way
that you were brought up um i think what the
accent no being gay uh no dude i think it's definitely
genetic i think all right i think it's a combination
of both It's nature and nurture. It's both. I
don't think it's all one or the other. It's a
little bit of both. Could be. Like the accent,
like the lisp could be like nurture. But there's
definitely genes that account for people's sexuality.
Yeah. I also think, I think we talked about this.
I think we definitely talked about this multiple
times. I think when a society gets to a point,
because the whole point of procreation is to
select for the best genes, right? Yeah. So, you
know, you want the most attractive woman and
the man that can acquire the most resources.
So, and you're trying, like the guy who can acquire
the most resources gets the most attractive woman.
You know, that's generally, like, kind of how
it goes. I think that's it, is that being gay
is not selected for, right? Because you can't,
like, naturally, historically reproduce. I think...
So I think people have a bias against that because
it's not exactly selected for. Well, I think
it's not participating, you're not participating
in the procreation process, right? Yeah. So,
like, you want the best of the best genes to
go to the top. right the absolute best so when
you have an abundance of uh say like food right
calories in the environment so you can make a
lot of people because that's what it takes right
to make people is like you gotta have calories
yeah so you have enough calories because when
you don't have calories your hormones go into
a state where you can't have children right so
like you know in men when they have yeah you
gotta feed before you can breed exactly right
Feed and breed. Right. So I think when you get
to a point where there's an abundance of calories
in the environment, which we have too many calories.
Yeah. You ever like try to jerk off and you're
like hungry and you're like. No, I can't. I gotta
eat something. Never once, dude. No? Hunger has
never stopped me from masturbating. That's a
wrap. I feel like... I feel like I'm... I'm fucking
more horny when I'm hungry. Really? Yeah. I feel
like that kind of overrides the feeling of being
hungry. It just overrides the feeling of breeding.
Never. It should though, right? Because you need
to eat to stay alive. I can go days without food,
bro. I can't go a day without jerking off. I
guess it's different for everyone. I guess so.
But what I'm saying is like you got an abundance
of calories in the environment, right? And you
can make as many people as you want. There has
to be some other rate limiting factor, right?
You see what I'm saying? naturally when there's
no calories, you can't make as many people. But
when you have an abundance of calories, you still
want to select for the best. It's like, okay,
well maybe we have a ton of people and some of
them are gay when we don't need, like I guaranteed
if everybody was maybe a little more hungry,
you'd have less gay people. Why is that? I shouldn't
have said that. I'm going to take that. Can we
edit that out? What is like the rationale behind
that? The rationale behind that. Let's see. What
was I thinking when I said that stupid thing?
Well, I, I think, um, I just think, I think gay
people are a product of an abundance of resources.
Oh, okay. You see what I'm saying? It's like
when a society hits a point where they just have
an absolute abundance of resources, like too
much, we just don't. Like I had a 10 year old
patient the other day who said they were going
by they them pronouns. And I was like, is this
like the parents thing? Or is it like, this is
the kids thing. And like the parent, the dad
actually slipped up and said like, she was like,
Oh, it's the kids. Yeah. So like, are the parents
like forcing it on the fucking child? Is the
child getting this from their fucking indoctrination
at school? Right. I think there's people like
that, but there's also people like, You know,
I went to high school with this one girl who
her dad, when she was like 18 or something, came
out as gay and like divorced her mom and like
married a dude and like moved out. And I think
there's people like that who are just closeted
for their entire lives because they can't like
come out. Yeah. But, you know, there's like also
people who are kind of jumping on the train.
Right. Yeah. That's it. You know what? You know,
he struck me as strange. Like, people have children
and then they come out. You know? Yeah. Or they're,
like, in a relationship for such a long... I
know so many people that are in relationships.
That's what Elton John did, actually. He married
a woman for a while because he was trying to
be... You know, it was actually... If you ever
saw that movie Rocketman about his life... No.
Like, his parents... Like, both his parents were,
like, not really accepting of him being gay.
And his mom was like, oh yeah, I always knew
you were gay, but just know that you can never
really be happy. And that was like what broke
him, basically. Like turned him to drugs and
shit like that. Damn. Yeah, so he was like, you
know, in the closet for a long time and he was
trying to be normal by marrying a woman. But
they would like not sleep in the same bed. and
he was like yeah i'm gay but this is kind of
like a cover -up like i like you as a friend
but i'm not really like attracted to you wow
so damn that's fucked up yeah it's a fucked up
thing to do it was like back in the 70s right
when in the 80s when being gay wasn't as socially
acceptable yeah when did it become like like
when i was like absolutely fine i'd say 2010
No, I think back in, like, the 60s and 70s when
they had, like, the whole revolution with, like,
the counterculture hippie shit is where it became
more, like, socially acceptable. Yeah. Now everybody
and their brother's gay. It's like, damn. Like,
not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm
just saying, like, everybody's gay. It's like,
I see people just coming out right and left that
I went to high school with. Really? Oh, yeah.
A lot of chicks. Yeah, it's fucking wild. This
one chick even has a podcast about being bisexual.
Well, we should get her on the podcast. I mean,
we could. She's kind of hot. She has her own
podcast? Yeah. Yeah, we should get her on as
a guest. Yeah, and see what she's got to say
about that. Or not. We could not also. We got
to get some exposure. Yeah. I mean, if we, if
we actually wanted to get exposure, we would
have to make YouTube shorts and we would have
to have like video of us. Yeah. Right. If we,
if we had video on all of our faces, right. A
camera on all of our faces. And then like when
somebody says something like Tyler says something
ridiculous, right. And you take a sound clip
of it, take a, you do a YouTube short of it.
That's how you get exposure. But. I don't want
to be exposed. We just need to get Joe Rogan
as a guest on this podcast. Yeah, yeah. I think
you would do it if you listened to a few episodes.
Yeah, wouldn't it be funny if, like, that'd be
bad. That'd be really bad. There's a lot of shit
to go through. But is Kyle, uh, Kyle's gone?
Yeah, Kyle, uh, dipped out. He said, uh, said
he was going crazy in his house. And, uh, uh,
and he had to, Dip out. House went mental, he
said. Oh, damn. Well, if you want to take a break,
I'm down to talk about some conspiracies for
a little bit if you have time. But I don't know.
You got time or you got to go? Let's do another
10 minutes or so. All right. And then what do
you want to talk about? 9 -11. Dude, I was thinking,
what do you think the ghost hunting would be
like at Ground Zero? Oh, yeah. That's a good
idea, actually. You ever see that guy? There's,
like, a janitor who cleans the pool every single
day, and he, like, sees ghosts in the pool. No.
Yeah. He was, like, talking about, like, he goes
every, I think, once a week into the Ground Zero
fountain, and he cleans the pool. Damn. And he's
like... hear the screams of the dead people oh
my god dude see like you never think like like
places in such a busy area are haunted like you
always think like places that are like like secluded
are haunted right like abandoned shit right is
haunted but you never think like midtown manhattan
or lower manhattan is fucking haunted it's gotta
be so many people died there yeah Do you think
if you brought your ghost box, you would hear
the screams? Oh, definitely. Oh, my God. I'm
on fire. It's so fucking hot. Yeah, Tyler was,
I think, there today, actually. He should have
brought a spirit box. Yeah, dude, the shit you
would fucking hear. I'm going to have to fucking
jump. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Thank you. Damn.
Damn. You think you would pick that up on the
spirit box? Yeah, I think you could find a lot
of things at Ground Zero. There's a lot of what's
it called? Something memories there. Untitled?
Untitled memories. Like what do you mean? Unsettled.
Yeah. Like when people die just tragically, I
feel like they're kind of just like trapped there.
Like they don't, they never really accepted what
happened to them if they died untimely. Damn.
Dude, I feel like they could be stuck there.
You know, they like, they didn't find like any
whole bodies at Ground Zero. Oh no. Maybe the
people that like jumped. a few of them, but people
in the building, there was no whole bodies. They
were just like, just from the pancaking force
of the floors, there's just so much force that
there's just nothing. The cleanup was actually
easy. Oh, yeah, because they just got vaporized
into dust, basically. Yeah. Do you think the
Jews did 9 -11? I think they had something to
do with it. Well, I mean, now think about it,
right? Why were all the banks closed on Tuesday
morning? I don't know. If you look where Afghanistan
is and you look where Iraq is and you look where
Iran is, it's kind of fucking crazy that the
most powerful military in the world ended up
over there. Yeah. I think it's like the same
thing that's going on with Iran now. It's like
literally like those three countries are like
right next to Israel. Right, because I think
they're surrounded by people that want to kill
them because they're different religions. Yeah,
like so, I mean, if you wanted the largest military
in the world to attack the people that might
attack you. Right, that's why they're saying
that they. attacked iran is to prevent them from
you know developing nuclear weapons that could
reach the east coast of the united states but
it's like you know they've been saying that for
like 30 years right yeah um no but the cia said
that they they knew something was coming i so
i say that like kind of jokingly right they knew
something was coming like an attack yeah because
they they heard the chatter Did they like activate
sleeper cells now? Like Iranian? And they arrested
a bunch of people. They arrested like 20 sleeper
Iranian terrorists a few days ago, I think. Yeah,
I'm not sure. Because they were like, get ready
for an attack. Damn. Right, because we fucking
had a bunch of, they had a bunch of sleeper cells
in the US from Iran. Already. I would probably
stay out of like major cities for a little bit.
I would probably try not to piss off the people
that are chanting death to America. Yeah. Burning
the American flag. Yeah. Giving them a reason
to just fucking go at it. I'm surprised that
they, um, I was going to say, I'm surprised.
I don't even remember what I was going to say.
So tired. Oh, I'm surprised they agreed to, uh,
any kind of ceasefire like immediately after
getting their ship bombed. I'm surprised they're
just like, maybe it was just like, they're just
like, okay, well there's nothing that was fucking
insane. Like we cannot fight with this. Yeah.
I think they almost had to accept a ceasefire
because they were, there's no way they could
compete with the U S military. They're going
to get fucking killed. They probably didn't even
see those bombers coming. No. No, they had no
shots fired on it. One of those B -2 stealth
bombers. Yeah. Oh, it's called B -2 Spirit. But
dude, think about... You got to think about how
crazy that is. That they didn't even see them.
Right? Yeah. So these are your most valuable
facilities. Your nuclear facilities, right? They
should be the most protected places in your country.
Yeah, there's no way to see it, though. The United
States just flew over and took them out. Right.
It's like, dude, you can't. They must know at
some level. They must just be like, okay, we
have no way to compete. We could never compete
with that. They could literally just level our
country. Yeah, I think that's why they're so
hesitant to get into war with the United States.
because they know they'd just be fucking decimated.
Right. Your most valuable facilities you can't
even protect. And those things aren't invisible,
bro. The B -1 bomber, they used a B -1, right?
B -2 Spirit. Is that what they used? Yep. Oh,
I thought they used a B -1. Well, they're not
invisible to radar. They're invisible to old
radar. I guess if you fly low enough, right?
It's not on radar. Oh, yeah, but dude, those
things are probably flying at like 40 ,000 feet.
Right. Let's see. I'm going to ask chat GPT.
Those things, you have to like look at it from
the right angle in order to see it. Like otherwise
they're so like flat that you can't really see
it. Like just with like your naked eye. Yeah.
Awesome. How high were the stealth bombers that
dropped the bombs on the nuclear? Facilities
in Iran. Testing, one, two. Hello? Fucking chat
GPT, bro. Let me see. How high did the stealth
bombers fly? fly that dropped bombs on Iran.
Let's see what it says. I'm sure they flew, like,
high to get across the Atlantic. Right, but I
think once they got there, they probably had
to descend. They said... Because it was, like,
one of those Star Wars, like, Death Star shit,
where they had to, like, fly and, like, drop
it at the right, like, in a fucking hole. Like
Luke Skywalker did. Dude, we literally made a
movie about that exact scenario. Yeah, it was
like the Death Star. What? They had to fly a
plane over and drop the missile in a small hole
like they did in the original Star Wars. Right.
Top Gun Maverick. It was about literally bombing
an Iranian nuclear facility. Oh, really? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. And they had to come over the hill
at an angle and come straight down and then fly
out. That's literally what Top Gun Maverick...
We told them we were going to do it. Oh, yeah.
I remember that. And this says the stealth bombers
operated at approximately 50 ,000 feet altitude.
So... 50 ,000. Yeah, 50 ,000 feet. Yeah, what
else in current events, though? I don't know.
Pretty much just bombing Iran and hoping for
the best. Lighting up the Middle East. Turn that
shit into glass. We'll find out more soon. I
think we can wrap this episode up by saying Casey
was right again. The Republicans started another
war. So much for your war -mongering Democrats.
We'll end this episode on Casey was right. Womp
womp. I love that sound bite. Play that. Yeah,
but join us next week for a release of the Happy
and Homeless Ambulance Session. Yeah, that'll
be fun. Or no, the July 4th Ambulance Session
episode. I gotta listen to it again to make sure
I didn't say anything too ridiculous because,
you know, times have changed since 2017. We're
living in a different era here. Damn. Maybe I'll
release it in this episode. In this one? No.
It could be an hour. I don't know. How much time
have we been on? An hour. An hour? Yeah. Are
we going to do it this week or next week? Next
week, yeah. Yeah, let's do it next week. All
right. I think that'd be good because it was
July 4th, right? Yep. And it'll be a good, that'll
be perfect. We got to do it next week. Yeah,
we'll release it. All right. All right. Well,
like us on Facebook and, you know, as always,
be kind to yourselves. And each other. for all
we know robots have souls we just don't know
if they do or don't how do you know have you
ever been a cyborg or a robot You think we were
the first ones to inhabit this planet? Fuck no.
No, no, we are jumping down this fucking rabbit
hole. Yes, we are. There's people out there with
some really dumb thoughts. Extended episode.
Where the fuck did the spearmen come from? Where
the fuck did Stonehenge come from? You're telling
me that they didn't die and become ghosts? Oh,
they're killing, they're killing all the already
born babies and sell them to the Chinese. Alien
remakes. somewhere in China in some base there
are super soldiers that are at least 9 or 10
feet tall on top of the soft ground they have
bread and super soldiers then they are extraterrestrials
they are aliens I do not negotiate with terrorists
I do not I do not I do not I do not My eyes.
While holding their pulse. Feel them die. Of
this. Virus. You feel. Bump. Bump. Bump. Beep.
Nothing. They're fucking gone. I've seen it happen.
I think that the government. Has. Taken it to
the next level. With the birds. They know what
birds are going to cross paths with you. That
you are going to be able to raise. And they are
going to make them so fucking real. They're going
to sink money into them. Because they know. That
if you put that motherfucker. We're only living
in the third dimension! is an actual Nazi collaborator.
Okay? I'm not fucking lying. It's fucking real.
Okay? Look it up. Look it up. He said that he
was doing this shit. George Soros actually