WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.180
The following program is intended for mature

00:00:02.180 --> 00:00:05.259
audiences and may cause cancer in at -risk populations.

00:00:05.960 --> 00:00:12.960
Viewer discretion is advised. For all we know,

00:00:13.039 --> 00:00:15.400
robots have souls. We just don't know if they

00:00:15.400 --> 00:00:18.940
do or don't. How do you know? Have you ever been

00:00:18.940 --> 00:00:24.699
a cyborg or a robot? You think we were the first

00:00:24.699 --> 00:00:30.579
ones to inhabit this planet? Fuck no. No, we

00:00:30.579 --> 00:00:33.659
are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole. Yes,

00:00:33.859 --> 00:00:36.600
we are. There's people out there with some really

00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:41.579
dumb thoughts. Extended episode. Where the fuck

00:00:41.579 --> 00:00:43.960
did the spearmen come from? Where the fuck did

00:00:43.960 --> 00:00:45.539
Stonehenge come from? You're telling me that

00:00:45.539 --> 00:00:48.560
they didn't die and become ghosts? They're killing

00:00:48.560 --> 00:00:51.359
all the already born babies and sell them to

00:00:51.359 --> 00:00:55.740
the Chinese. Aliens exist. Somewhere in China.

00:00:57.070 --> 00:00:59.729
some days what the fuck there are super soldiers

00:00:59.729 --> 00:01:08.109
super soldiers then they are extraterrestrials

00:01:08.109 --> 00:01:45.430
they are aliens Welcome to another podcast. Centennial,

00:01:45.469 --> 00:01:50.469
motherfucker. It's episode 100. Episode 100.

00:01:50.590 --> 00:01:53.930
We're here in Lake Placid, or Saranac Lake. Lake

00:01:53.930 --> 00:01:56.510
Placid. The miracle on ice, baby. We finally

00:01:56.510 --> 00:02:00.109
made it to episode 100. This song's called First

00:02:00.109 --> 00:02:01.769
Day at the Hospital by Dave Lutz. Yeah, get his

00:02:01.769 --> 00:02:04.530
name. Draymond just made this smelling song.

00:02:04.870 --> 00:02:11.110
Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. You got stains all over your

00:02:11.110 --> 00:02:15.860
fucking shirt. First of all, we want to thank

00:02:15.860 --> 00:02:18.560
all our listeners for sticking with us. Oh, shit.

00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:24.360
That was so fucking bad. That was still in for

00:02:24.360 --> 00:02:28.020
weeks. I got delayed already. Dude, this show

00:02:28.020 --> 00:02:33.520
sucks. This show sucks so bad. What? You already

00:02:33.520 --> 00:02:38.409
have a fucking delay. Oh, yeah. 1812. Anyway,

00:02:38.469 --> 00:02:41.389
thanks for joining us. We'd like to thank you

00:02:41.389 --> 00:02:45.569
for always tuning in. Take this opportunity to

00:02:45.569 --> 00:02:49.169
introduce our members here. We've got Dan Delaney,

00:02:49.330 --> 00:02:52.750
the vitamin man. We've got Tyler Lee. That's

00:02:52.750 --> 00:02:56.909
me. And we've got Alex McDonald, as always. That's

00:02:56.909 --> 00:03:00.629
Ally Mac to you. Ally Mac. I know I've been gone

00:03:00.629 --> 00:03:02.689
for a while, but I had to show up to this one.

00:03:02.810 --> 00:03:05.479
You'll see me more now. Fat fuck. With us here

00:03:05.479 --> 00:03:09.439
we have Kyle Franklin. Welcome. Welcome, Kyle

00:03:09.439 --> 00:03:13.340
Franklin. Welcome. Other fat fuck. I'm notably

00:03:13.340 --> 00:03:17.939
a fat fuck as well. What's up? I'm pretty sure

00:03:17.939 --> 00:03:21.289
you weigh about... Half of us here. Well, half,

00:03:21.289 --> 00:03:23.250
that means I'm smaller than you. This is why

00:03:23.250 --> 00:03:25.629
you are retarded. No, no, you're about half of

00:03:25.629 --> 00:03:27.990
the people here. So, how was the smelling salt,

00:03:28.090 --> 00:03:31.550
Kyle? That fucked me up. First off, it smells

00:03:31.550 --> 00:03:34.090
like cat piss. It does. Not even like cat piss.

00:03:34.090 --> 00:03:36.710
Like the kind of piss that you get on a drunk

00:03:36.710 --> 00:03:38.610
down in Albany that's been sitting on the side

00:03:38.610 --> 00:03:40.870
of the curb for a while. I'm talking on the mic.

00:03:41.270 --> 00:03:45.150
What a StarTap episode 100. Are we back? We're

00:03:45.150 --> 00:03:48.310
back. Oh, thank you for the memorandum. What's

00:03:48.310 --> 00:03:50.849
some of your guys' favorite moments of the podcast?

00:03:50.990 --> 00:03:52.930
Did you get my top five? Oh, man. My favorite

00:03:52.930 --> 00:03:54.930
moment is when you guys invited me on finally

00:03:54.930 --> 00:03:57.189
as a recurring guest because I fixed this fucking

00:03:57.189 --> 00:04:00.090
podcast. You guys fucking sucked. All right?

00:04:00.349 --> 00:04:03.629
We've always sucked, bro. It's always sucked,

00:04:03.629 --> 00:04:06.069
dude. In 50 fucking episodes when I blow the

00:04:06.069 --> 00:04:09.650
fuck up. and I get fucking canceled by NBC, you

00:04:09.650 --> 00:04:11.129
guys are going to be loving the fact, the bump

00:04:11.129 --> 00:04:12.830
that I give you. That's what's going to happen.

00:04:13.069 --> 00:04:15.210
We got another audio distortion. No, what's going

00:04:15.210 --> 00:04:19.389
on with this? And we're back. Oh my God. This

00:04:19.389 --> 00:04:21.829
show sucks. I think you guys need a better producer.

00:04:22.589 --> 00:04:24.529
Yeah. It's nothing against you, Casey. Oh my

00:04:24.529 --> 00:04:27.430
God, I love the smell of tires. Where's those

00:04:27.430 --> 00:04:29.009
smelling salts? If Shane Large was sitting right

00:04:29.009 --> 00:04:31.810
there. I almost want to start over. If only you

00:04:31.810 --> 00:04:33.689
guys had such a great producer like Shane Large.

00:04:34.009 --> 00:04:37.930
You know? Right, right. I think one of my favorite

00:04:37.930 --> 00:04:40.069
moments for the podcast was me and Tyler screaming

00:04:40.069 --> 00:04:42.350
at each other about the insurrection. That was

00:04:42.350 --> 00:04:43.910
fucking funny. That was a good one. Yeah, Tyler's

00:04:43.910 --> 00:04:46.529
freak outs are some of the best things. I can't

00:04:46.529 --> 00:04:48.870
do another one right now. What's a good one I

00:04:48.870 --> 00:04:52.449
remember? I like the more tender moments where

00:04:52.449 --> 00:04:55.079
we actually start talking to each other. We actually

00:04:55.079 --> 00:04:57.879
get into deeper subjects that we care about.

00:04:58.019 --> 00:05:03.079
I like seeing everybody. Shut the fuck up, Dan.

00:05:03.560 --> 00:05:06.579
We had a good conversation on the ride over here.

00:05:06.759 --> 00:05:09.439
I like the conversation that we have about God

00:05:09.439 --> 00:05:12.920
and stuff. Now you are gay. Chill the fuck out.

00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:16.620
I do enjoy the different tones of life that we

00:05:16.620 --> 00:05:20.800
get from that. It's not just all Bible thumpers.

00:05:21.379 --> 00:05:25.600
It's such a PR answer. It's mostly everybody

00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:27.959
against me with that, but I'm cool with it because

00:05:27.959 --> 00:05:29.800
I like talking about it. Not really. I wouldn't

00:05:29.800 --> 00:05:32.300
say everybody's against you. I'd say I typically

00:05:32.300 --> 00:05:35.019
– I never really throw anything at you with a

00:05:35.019 --> 00:05:37.480
religious argument. I just think it's interesting.

00:05:37.600 --> 00:05:41.500
I like Jesus, all right? And I like – you know

00:05:41.500 --> 00:05:43.199
what my favorite part of this podcast is, and

00:05:43.199 --> 00:05:45.579
this is the real PR answer, is that I get to

00:05:45.579 --> 00:05:48.060
spend every Thursday night with some of my best

00:05:48.060 --> 00:05:50.360
friends. There you go. All right. Let's not tear

00:05:50.360 --> 00:05:52.199
up here. That's going to make me feel really

00:05:52.199 --> 00:05:54.879
bad about the two suggestions that I have to

00:05:54.879 --> 00:05:57.779
say because the two best memories I ever have

00:05:57.779 --> 00:06:00.220
on this podcast is me talking about quantum mechanics

00:06:00.220 --> 00:06:03.959
with Tyler flipping the fuck out on the other

00:06:03.959 --> 00:06:06.970
side of the room. And then the other. Second

00:06:06.970 --> 00:06:09.410
favorite memory I have is like the handful of

00:06:09.410 --> 00:06:12.550
occasions I've won Jeopardy and Tyler has flipped

00:06:12.550 --> 00:06:15.889
the fuck out on the other side. Because I, like

00:06:15.889 --> 00:06:18.769
I treasure them all, especially the last one.

00:06:18.829 --> 00:06:20.990
I'm going to be dead honest. That one where it

00:06:20.990 --> 00:06:23.519
was fucking. The one where I left. Yeah, that

00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:25.740
one. Because she felt bad that you left. And

00:06:25.740 --> 00:06:27.519
we talked about it in the podcast. I thought

00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:29.259
it was awful that you left because it was like,

00:06:29.259 --> 00:06:31.879
is Tyler really gone? Yeah, I left. But it made

00:06:31.879 --> 00:06:34.360
for like re -listening to that the next week.

00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:36.819
I was like, this is fucking perfect. I cannot

00:06:36.819 --> 00:06:40.420
believe that Tyler left the house right now.

00:06:40.740 --> 00:06:44.000
I want you to be left. As a long time Untitled

00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:46.920
podcast fan. And I'm so grateful to be your current

00:06:46.920 --> 00:06:49.860
guest. I always root for you in Jeopardy. You're

00:06:49.860 --> 00:06:52.060
our Make -A -Wish kid. I'm the Make -A -Wish.

00:06:52.120 --> 00:06:57.019
I have cancer. And so my wish was to be on the

00:06:57.019 --> 00:06:58.639
Untitled Podcast as part of the family. And he's

00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:00.279
here for the 100th episode. And I'm here for

00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:02.540
the fucking 100th episode. The centennial, baby.

00:07:02.680 --> 00:07:05.819
Hang on. As your Roastmaster General, we have

00:07:05.819 --> 00:07:11.360
the fucking roast of Casey O 'Neal. Yo! Oh, no.

00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:16.300
As the only fucking professional half -comedian

00:07:16.300 --> 00:07:21.500
here. We'll say amateur. I thought it was the

00:07:21.500 --> 00:07:25.300
roast of all of us. Do you know how a roast works,

00:07:25.480 --> 00:07:27.519
Casey? Have you ever watched television? There's

00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:29.519
one person that everybody roasts, but everybody

00:07:29.519 --> 00:07:32.660
gets roasted the whole time. But you're the one

00:07:32.660 --> 00:07:35.519
that's getting roasted. Damn. We'll obviously

00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:38.560
wait a little bit, I think, to get... Really.

00:07:39.940 --> 00:07:43.199
Really? Yeah, you gotta come prepared for this.

00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:45.699
Tyler does this at least eight or nine times.

00:07:45.699 --> 00:07:47.860
When Tyler's bored of whatever somebody's talking

00:07:47.860 --> 00:07:50.259
about, you hear things like crinkling in the

00:07:50.259 --> 00:07:53.180
background, you hear the noises. He's got like

00:07:53.180 --> 00:08:00.420
a fucking gallon jug. He's like... You're like,

00:08:00.480 --> 00:08:03.180
hey, Tyler, can you chew it? Oh, what? What?

00:08:03.660 --> 00:08:06.079
Oh, my bad. I was just chewing it out for a minute.

00:08:06.079 --> 00:08:08.040
The first episode of Mike Podcast, all you heard

00:08:08.040 --> 00:08:11.740
was... How's your podcast going, by the way?

00:08:11.819 --> 00:08:13.079
I haven't seen that episode in like a month.

00:08:13.079 --> 00:08:15.180
So I have to wait until the semester ends, and

00:08:15.180 --> 00:08:17.000
then we're going to bank together like 25 to

00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:19.360
30 episodes. That's going to burn you the fuck

00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:21.500
out. It's hard. We're just going to be like 20

00:08:21.500 --> 00:08:24.660
episodes. I work like 60 to 65 hours a week,

00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:27.040
and then I do like 45 hours of square work. It's

00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:31.040
hard to get guests on. I can't just keep bringing

00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:33.639
you guys. There's nothing against you guys. I

00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:35.960
can't do the same guess. That'd be really funny.

00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:41.820
Bring us in every five episodes. Hell yeah, Dan.

00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:47.440
Going for a second drink. Dan O. Give me some

00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:49.460
of that, Dan. Me and Dan are going to have sex

00:08:49.460 --> 00:08:51.539
tonight. We're going to have fucking hot, steamy,

00:08:51.539 --> 00:08:53.620
fucking butt sex. Dan and Kyle are fucking. That's

00:08:53.620 --> 00:08:55.700
the latest in here. I'm going to fuck the shit

00:08:55.700 --> 00:08:57.360
out of his ass and he's going to fuck my mouth.

00:08:57.360 --> 00:09:00.340
Top me off, buddy. What is that? Do a half and

00:09:00.340 --> 00:09:01.860
half. I'm not pouring champagne. No, do a half

00:09:01.860 --> 00:09:04.899
and half. What's he, a pussy? Can you give me

00:09:04.899 --> 00:09:06.740
a little champagne? My glass is over there. Can

00:09:06.740 --> 00:09:08.139
you give me a little champagne there, Daniel?

00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:10.320
Just maybe a little champagne. We're here at

00:09:10.320 --> 00:09:12.919
the... I bought the champagne. So Tyler's not

00:09:12.919 --> 00:09:16.720
drinking, as always. No. I can't believe I'm

00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:21.559
seeing Dan drink. Oh, awesome. I'll give you

00:09:21.559 --> 00:09:26.720
my glass. Me and Allie Mac are both two beers

00:09:26.720 --> 00:09:29.840
deep at this point. Only two. There's only been

00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:33.259
two beers. Nothing more. Dan just poured champagne

00:09:33.259 --> 00:09:39.500
in Allie Mac's beer. I did ask for it. You guys

00:09:39.500 --> 00:09:43.289
want to hear an interesting thing? Yeah. No,

00:09:43.289 --> 00:09:45.690
what you should do is cut one of those Labatt

00:09:45.690 --> 00:09:49.149
cans. Go ahead. They're just drugs. We're not

00:09:49.149 --> 00:09:51.169
drunk, Casey. We only have two fucking beers,

00:09:51.230 --> 00:09:52.629
all right? Chill the fuck out. He's going to

00:09:52.629 --> 00:09:55.929
take an entire case to get this thing done. He

00:09:55.929 --> 00:09:57.889
just gave me smelling salts. This is a restart.

00:09:58.289 --> 00:10:00.490
We do not have enough beer to get me drunk. For

00:10:00.490 --> 00:10:03.029
those who don't know, Kyle is very large and

00:10:03.029 --> 00:10:06.129
in charge. Okay? When I say large and in charge,

00:10:06.210 --> 00:10:08.669
I mean exactly what you think I mean. He's very

00:10:08.669 --> 00:10:11.129
large. He's very in charge. He's a good guy,

00:10:11.210 --> 00:10:14.120
though. But, um, and for the record, he's made

00:10:14.120 --> 00:10:17.340
a lot of fat jokes about me. And I'd like to

00:10:17.340 --> 00:10:19.759
make it very clear that I don't think I match

00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:23.899
up to you, alright? I'm fat. I'm fat, okay? Alright?

00:10:24.519 --> 00:10:26.659
So, before we get into it... I feel like I need

00:10:26.659 --> 00:10:28.899
to make a point of that, though. Because I've

00:10:28.899 --> 00:10:31.240
been a subject of some scrutiny from you, Kyle.

00:10:31.940 --> 00:10:34.220
You're like fat. He's like Peter Griffin fat.

00:10:34.659 --> 00:10:40.059
Oh, come on! Come on, yo! I didn't say that.

00:10:40.059 --> 00:10:41.899
I couldn't say it for the roast. I couldn't even

00:10:41.899 --> 00:10:47.100
say that. You know what, Casey? Casey, you know

00:10:47.100 --> 00:10:49.960
what you look like? Yeah. You look like Dr. Phil

00:10:49.960 --> 00:10:52.159
after a two -year heroin binge. There it is.

00:10:53.919 --> 00:10:56.059
So, like, I think in levels of fitness, obviously,

00:10:56.100 --> 00:10:58.700
Dan is the highest. For fucking... Oh, for sure.

00:10:58.840 --> 00:11:01.259
But also for the shortness. No, but you got Ozempic

00:11:01.259 --> 00:11:07.460
face. Oh, my God. Save some material. Come on

00:11:07.460 --> 00:11:10.279
now. Jesus Christ. No, I like that. I didn't

00:11:10.279 --> 00:11:12.139
know that was a thing, but... And then I do think

00:11:12.139 --> 00:11:16.710
the second is either Casey or me. I mean, I was

00:11:16.710 --> 00:11:18.950
really mad. Where did this come from? I'm going

00:11:18.950 --> 00:11:21.710
to the gym five days a week, but I guess it's

00:11:21.710 --> 00:11:23.289
not working. You're going to the wrong fucking

00:11:23.289 --> 00:11:25.049
gym. Oh, God. You're going to the wrong fucking

00:11:25.049 --> 00:11:27.330
gym, Allie Mack. I haven't been that far. I just

00:11:27.330 --> 00:11:29.870
started. Looking at Tyler and Casey. Tyler, you're

00:11:29.870 --> 00:11:32.210
a little bit slipped. He's got the dad gut. Yeah,

00:11:32.250 --> 00:11:35.509
he's got that. I got this retard shit going on.

00:11:35.509 --> 00:11:37.250
No, you just look bad. But don't. Yeah, I got

00:11:37.250 --> 00:11:40.250
like a weird, like my upper body is all right

00:11:40.250 --> 00:11:41.690
until you get down here, and then I got like

00:11:41.690 --> 00:11:43.490
a little bit of a gut, but like not that much.

00:11:43.549 --> 00:11:45.590
So it looks worse. feel like than having like

00:11:45.590 --> 00:11:47.889
an actual gut. Casey's got like the body I think

00:11:47.889 --> 00:11:55.320
I have. You ever look in the mirror and just

00:11:55.320 --> 00:11:57.779
go, God damn. All the time. It's just the worst

00:11:57.779 --> 00:11:59.840
part when you're perfectly naked and your penis

00:11:59.840 --> 00:12:01.879
is there. Yeah. It's kind of shrunk inside your

00:12:01.879 --> 00:12:03.179
body. You know what I hate when you're like,

00:12:03.299 --> 00:12:05.600
I gained so much weight. I can't even see that

00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:07.740
fucking thing anymore. Come on. I hate when you

00:12:07.740 --> 00:12:09.100
get out of the shower and you just look down

00:12:09.100 --> 00:12:10.919
and you're like, damn, this penis looks fucking

00:12:10.919 --> 00:12:13.820
awful. Yeah. She looks at this thing and she

00:12:13.820 --> 00:12:18.429
says, oh yeah. It's like. Who am I fooling? Apparently

00:12:18.429 --> 00:12:20.750
you're fooling her. Like fucking dude. Like that's

00:12:20.750 --> 00:12:23.250
the thing. Like women. Damn straight. I'm going

00:12:23.250 --> 00:12:25.289
to keep doing money. The thing is like, I look

00:12:25.289 --> 00:12:27.330
at women and I go, God damn. Like you can look

00:12:27.330 --> 00:12:29.110
at a woman and just be like, God damn. Like,

00:12:29.149 --> 00:12:31.580
I don't know how you look at a guy and go. Yeah,

00:12:31.580 --> 00:12:36.279
that looked good. Look to the right of you. That's

00:12:36.279 --> 00:12:40.059
how you do it right there. Even the most attractive

00:12:40.059 --> 00:12:42.259
guy still has a dick, which every single dick

00:12:42.259 --> 00:12:46.240
is awful. Have you seen a fucking person? I get

00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:50.059
that a lot. Shut the fuck up. You get that a

00:12:50.059 --> 00:12:53.500
lot. You just fucking ooze testosterone. I think

00:12:53.500 --> 00:12:55.340
that's what you do. I didn't at one point, though.

00:12:55.700 --> 00:12:59.559
It was 198 at one point. Didn't you fucking take

00:12:59.559 --> 00:13:01.539
like six Plan B? to crash your testosterone?

00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:05.200
No. That's a great idea, though. I don't know

00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:08.440
if that would work. It does. It sounds like it

00:13:08.440 --> 00:13:10.639
would result in a medical emergency. No, but

00:13:10.639 --> 00:13:12.559
that's the thing. It drops your T so much that

00:13:12.559 --> 00:13:14.360
you actually get prescribed T. Right, right.

00:13:14.500 --> 00:13:16.679
So I was on a super restrictive diet. I was talking

00:13:16.679 --> 00:13:18.700
to Kyle about it before we started here. And

00:13:18.700 --> 00:13:21.779
my testosterone tanked to 198. It's supposed

00:13:21.779 --> 00:13:23.759
to be like 1 ,000, like 700 to 1 ,000. Did you

00:13:23.759 --> 00:13:26.519
notice anything with your parts or no? Oh, dude.

00:13:26.620 --> 00:13:28.399
I didn't have an erection for like six months.

00:13:28.419 --> 00:13:30.700
Oh, you couldn't get hard. Oh. yeah no i was

00:13:30.700 --> 00:13:32.259
like so you're telling me you had more i thought

00:13:32.259 --> 00:13:34.659
i had amazing abstinence like i'm like dude i'm

00:13:34.659 --> 00:13:37.600
like a no fat extreme and i was like oh no my

00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:39.799
testosterone you had more estrogen in you than

00:13:39.799 --> 00:13:41.980
you had testosterone you were a bitch no not

00:13:41.980 --> 00:13:52.319
more no so just really so you were a tranny I

00:13:52.319 --> 00:13:56.919
told you about the time that, you know, there's

00:13:56.919 --> 00:13:58.519
a, there's an incident. Well, yeah, but let me

00:13:58.519 --> 00:14:00.580
just preface this as, as it was a girl who wanted

00:14:00.580 --> 00:14:02.519
to become a guy. So she already, she still had

00:14:02.519 --> 00:14:05.100
a box. Yeah. She still had a pussy. That's the

00:14:05.100 --> 00:14:07.860
wrong training. Halfway through the story, he

00:14:07.860 --> 00:14:10.100
was telling me, and I thought it was a chick

00:14:10.100 --> 00:14:12.580
with a dick. No, no, no. It turned out it was

00:14:12.580 --> 00:14:15.279
a chick with a box. That would be gay. massive

00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:17.340
tits massive tits in a box so she bound them

00:14:17.340 --> 00:14:20.139
yeah she bound them down so like you couldn't

00:14:20.139 --> 00:14:23.019
like but like he ate her pussy I'll just I'll

00:14:23.019 --> 00:14:26.480
reiterate this listen I'll reiterate this it's

00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:29.919
episode 100 okay so just for those who are just

00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:34.460
you know doing this shit yeah oh oh yeah episode

00:14:34.460 --> 00:14:36.419
100 every time somebody says episode 100 did

00:14:36.419 --> 00:14:42.519
he hit something oh i'm gonna hit this now so

00:14:42.519 --> 00:14:49.440
i hit i i was i so so it was one gun hand that

00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:55.940
over here that fucking kicks like a mule oh that

00:14:55.940 --> 00:14:59.570
makes me wonder like you know how like if you

00:14:59.570 --> 00:15:01.929
were like hour 20 and you're 24 and you go down

00:15:01.929 --> 00:15:03.889
and pick up like one of the drunks down at like

00:15:03.889 --> 00:15:05.389
South Pro Street? If you just fucking just...

00:15:05.389 --> 00:15:08.350
I don't understand why I never smelt their crotch

00:15:08.350 --> 00:15:13.210
to wake me up. You're like... You remember...

00:15:13.210 --> 00:15:18.090
You remember... Oh! Oh, fuck! Fuck! Dude, you

00:15:18.090 --> 00:15:20.850
remember Pat Wilson? Yeah. All right, not his

00:15:20.850 --> 00:15:22.929
brother, Sean. No, I know both of them. I think

00:15:22.929 --> 00:15:26.159
he's a garbage man too or he wasn't. Maybe. Yeah,

00:15:26.220 --> 00:15:29.120
so dude, we took this lady, I forget from what

00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:31.240
hospital, we were bringing her home, but she

00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:33.259
had a terrible fucking UTI. That's what that

00:15:33.259 --> 00:15:35.039
smells like. She pissed the fucking green blanket.

00:15:35.379 --> 00:15:37.980
Actually, at that time, they were maroon. They

00:15:37.980 --> 00:15:40.220
were the maroon parents. Yeah, she pissed the

00:15:40.220 --> 00:15:42.899
maroon blanket and dropped this lady off at her

00:15:42.899 --> 00:15:45.710
house. And he took the entire like wad of blankets

00:15:45.710 --> 00:15:48.710
and just threw it on her porch. But it had that

00:15:48.710 --> 00:15:51.350
same smell as that shit. Just like that. Just

00:15:51.350 --> 00:15:52.950
like that, dude. But now that makes me wonder

00:15:52.950 --> 00:15:55.049
like why, you know, you're so sleep deprived.

00:15:55.190 --> 00:15:56.490
You're tired. You're like, how am I going to

00:15:56.490 --> 00:15:58.070
do these last four hours? I know I have to do

00:15:58.070 --> 00:16:00.190
two more calls. How am I going to do it? Why

00:16:00.190 --> 00:16:02.830
didn't you just smell like that? Right. What

00:16:02.830 --> 00:16:05.399
did they call those pads? Oh, chuck pads. Chuck

00:16:05.399 --> 00:16:07.379
pads. Why didn't you just smell the chuck pads?

00:16:07.379 --> 00:16:09.779
No, this is the actual wool blanket. No, I know

00:16:09.779 --> 00:16:11.379
the blanket you're talking about, but I was thinking

00:16:11.379 --> 00:16:13.519
of the pad. I've smelled that smell quite a few

00:16:13.519 --> 00:16:16.700
times. So, am I going to tell my story? Yeah,

00:16:16.700 --> 00:16:19.039
tell your fucking story. This is the Tyler Anderson

00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:21.919
100 podcast. Here's the story. Tyler ate a tranny

00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:26.139
pussy. I did. That's a technicality, dude. I

00:16:26.139 --> 00:16:29.399
want you to put yourself in my shoes on the ride

00:16:29.399 --> 00:16:31.299
up here. I thought it was a chick with a dick.

00:16:31.299 --> 00:16:33.120
All right, guys. We'll be back in 20 minutes.

00:16:33.769 --> 00:16:36.429
the story so didn't you literally tell the story

00:16:36.429 --> 00:16:38.309
last episode I didn't tell it last episode I

00:16:38.309 --> 00:16:40.769
told it on the text messages that we were talking

00:16:40.769 --> 00:16:44.429
about but like nobody reads it but yeah I was

00:16:44.429 --> 00:16:46.490
fucking I was in college it was my second week

00:16:46.490 --> 00:16:56.740
there I was hanging out with my guys So I'm sitting

00:16:56.740 --> 00:16:58.340
there and I'm like, I'm sitting there with my

00:16:58.340 --> 00:17:00.419
guys and I look over at this, this chick sitting

00:17:00.419 --> 00:17:02.679
at a table across from us in the, in the, uh,

00:17:02.820 --> 00:17:05.759
in the library. So I go, who's that? They're

00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:07.700
like, Oh, that's Kane. I go, she's kind of cute.

00:17:07.740 --> 00:17:10.640
They're like, dude, that's a dude, man. And I'm

00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:12.640
like, that's not a dude. I know a dude when I

00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:14.500
see one, that's not a dude. And then they're

00:17:14.500 --> 00:17:16.490
like, well, So I didn't know what a trans person

00:17:16.490 --> 00:17:19.289
was. Okay. I didn't. Nobody did back then. Yeah.

00:17:19.289 --> 00:17:21.390
I didn't know what a trans person was. It was

00:17:21.390 --> 00:17:23.670
either cross dressers or drag queens. Yeah. So

00:17:23.670 --> 00:17:25.880
I'm sitting there and I'm like. no that's that's

00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:27.740
that's a lady that's a lady and then they're

00:17:27.740 --> 00:17:30.680
like well so they had to explain what a transgender

00:17:30.680 --> 00:17:33.059
person was to me i don't know i feel like most

00:17:33.059 --> 00:17:35.039
people knew what a trans dude i didn't go to

00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:37.559
fucking we didn't go we didn't go we went to

00:17:37.559 --> 00:17:40.039
like inner city scumbag schools like they didn't

00:17:40.039 --> 00:17:42.660
have those there was no the highest fucking uh

00:17:42.660 --> 00:17:45.920
salary for a parent there was like 45 000 a year

00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:48.779
that's actually true yeah yeah yeah well i wasn't

00:17:48.779 --> 00:17:52.079
nobody had pools alley mac Nobody mowed their

00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:56.079
lawn. You know what? The argument I'm going to

00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:58.259
have to bring to the table here just isn't worth

00:17:58.259 --> 00:18:00.509
it. I'm going to have to fight such an uphill

00:18:00.509 --> 00:18:02.769
battle. I just want to tell you about how hard

00:18:02.769 --> 00:18:04.809
it is to grow up in a six -figure household.

00:18:05.450 --> 00:18:09.490
I did it. I did it, bro. I grew up in the fucking

00:18:09.490 --> 00:18:12.470
sticks, dude. I grew up in the sticks. So anyway,

00:18:12.809 --> 00:18:15.410
I didn't know what a fucking trans person was

00:18:15.410 --> 00:18:17.130
because I went to a fucking shitty high school.

00:18:17.349 --> 00:18:20.049
All right. Let's hear Tyler's story here. So

00:18:20.049 --> 00:18:21.789
I went to a shitty high school where they didn't

00:18:21.789 --> 00:18:23.670
have trans people because they didn't exist in

00:18:23.670 --> 00:18:26.509
my high school. So I'm like, all right. And then

00:18:26.509 --> 00:18:28.349
I go over. I'm like, I'm going to go talk to

00:18:28.349 --> 00:18:30.359
him. And then I go over and I'm like, hey, what's

00:18:30.359 --> 00:18:31.880
your name? They tell me their name. And I'm like,

00:18:31.960 --> 00:18:35.299
so, you know, I just started chatting, chatting

00:18:35.299 --> 00:18:37.420
with them. And I'm like, you know, here's my

00:18:37.420 --> 00:18:39.460
phone number. So then we start, you know, chat

00:18:39.460 --> 00:18:42.059
and then stuff. Then we go ice skating a few

00:18:42.059 --> 00:18:43.940
times. Then, like, after we went ice skating,

00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:46.099
we went back to her apartment that she had. And

00:18:46.099 --> 00:18:48.619
I'm like, or he had, whatever the fuck you want

00:18:48.619 --> 00:18:51.599
to call it. So I went back to the apartment.

00:18:51.819 --> 00:18:55.880
And then they go. I can't even breathe with these

00:18:55.880 --> 00:18:57.680
on. And she took off, she took off her shirt,

00:18:57.700 --> 00:18:59.700
took off the, took off everything, then took

00:18:59.700 --> 00:19:02.539
off her binder and it just, it just, God damn.

00:19:02.619 --> 00:19:04.700
And I'm like, how big, how big do you think they

00:19:04.700 --> 00:19:06.970
were? They were like double Ds, triple Ds. Damn.

00:19:07.130 --> 00:19:09.910
Quite large. That's kind of hot. Yeah, but she

00:19:09.910 --> 00:19:11.869
like bound them down. Yeah, but at this point

00:19:11.869 --> 00:19:13.690
in the story when he's telling me, I still think

00:19:13.690 --> 00:19:16.990
it has a dick. Why are the tits so big with a

00:19:16.990 --> 00:19:20.009
dick? And they were natural just titties. Thank

00:19:20.009 --> 00:19:22.769
you, Kyle. So I'm in like a roller coaster loop.

00:19:22.910 --> 00:19:25.269
I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm trying to figure

00:19:25.269 --> 00:19:28.230
out how this isn't gay, but it sounds gay. So

00:19:28.230 --> 00:19:31.710
she does that. She takes her tits out. I'm like,

00:19:32.599 --> 00:19:35.099
And I'm like, they're saying they're a guy. So

00:19:35.099 --> 00:19:37.079
I have to pretend that I'm not looking at nice

00:19:37.079 --> 00:19:39.700
tits right now. I'm doing like the, like, just

00:19:39.700 --> 00:19:44.859
pretend that, you know, I'm like, I'm doing one

00:19:44.859 --> 00:19:48.339
of these. And I'm like, yeah. And she's like,

00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:51.740
I know I have nice tits. For the listeners, Tyler

00:19:51.740 --> 00:19:55.900
is turned to his side. Yeah. They're like, they're

00:19:55.900 --> 00:19:57.920
like, and she's, I know I have good tits. And

00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:00.799
I'm like, listen. Uh, and she's like, he's kind

00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:05.839
of got nice. And I go, and she just goes, listen,

00:20:05.980 --> 00:20:09.099
I still, I still like having sex. And I'm like,

00:20:09.180 --> 00:20:13.440
okay. And I'm like, and then she's like, listen,

00:20:13.579 --> 00:20:16.339
can you just like do something with me real quick?

00:20:16.440 --> 00:20:19.519
And I'm like, yeah, sure. So then, you know,

00:20:19.539 --> 00:20:21.859
I eat her out. I do, you know, do all that shit.

00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:25.750
And then like, We kind of like start to keep

00:20:25.750 --> 00:20:28.190
talking to each other. And eventually our friend

00:20:28.190 --> 00:20:30.829
group fell apart. And we just ended up on separate

00:20:30.829 --> 00:20:33.470
sides of that, like, you know, split. Hatfields

00:20:33.470 --> 00:20:36.109
and McCoys. The north and the south, I prefer,

00:20:36.349 --> 00:20:38.029
because I'm a contender. If you're more of a

00:20:38.029 --> 00:20:39.809
traditionalist, I guess it's Romeo and Juliet.

00:20:40.490 --> 00:20:43.049
So that got split apart and we just didn't talk

00:20:43.049 --> 00:20:46.029
to each other. However, I don't think it's gay

00:20:46.029 --> 00:20:48.710
because I had my face in that pussy. She had

00:20:48.710 --> 00:20:50.930
a pussy. She had a pussy. So I'm like, I don't

00:20:50.930 --> 00:20:53.099
think that's gay. I think it's a borderline,

00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:56.400
but I don't think it's gay. Did she have short

00:20:56.400 --> 00:20:58.640
hair? Yeah, she had short hair. So she looked

00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:00.859
like a dude, but she had massive rocking tits

00:21:00.859 --> 00:21:02.799
and she had a nice box. Nah, that's a tomboy,

00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:04.759
bro. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm

00:21:04.759 --> 00:21:08.220
saying. When we grew up, it was tomboys, crossdressers,

00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:10.900
and tranny, or fucking drags. Yeah. There was

00:21:10.900 --> 00:21:13.500
no trannies. So if you would go down the street

00:21:13.500 --> 00:21:15.769
and say, oh, excuse me, sir. that's a fucking

00:21:15.769 --> 00:21:17.789
it wasn't that it was like you would definitely

00:21:17.789 --> 00:21:19.910
look at this that's fucking gay yeah right but

00:21:19.910 --> 00:21:23.170
if you looked at this person even even even with

00:21:23.170 --> 00:21:25.150
the tits even with the tits bound down you'd

00:21:25.150 --> 00:21:27.349
be like that's just a flat -chested girl and

00:21:27.349 --> 00:21:29.589
then when she took off the binders yeah and then

00:21:29.589 --> 00:21:31.990
she took off the binder and i'm like that's kind

00:21:31.990 --> 00:21:34.049
of even that even makes it more hot because it's

00:21:34.049 --> 00:21:36.170
like you don't expect it and it's like whoa this

00:21:36.170 --> 00:21:38.490
this story then brought into anybody you guys

00:21:38.490 --> 00:21:40.809
do you guys know bonnie blue No. She was the

00:21:40.809 --> 00:21:42.710
British chick that fucked a thousand guys in

00:21:42.710 --> 00:21:44.589
like 12 hours. Oh, I heard about that. Casey,

00:21:44.730 --> 00:21:47.670
can you pull up Bonnie Boo's pussy? A picture

00:21:47.670 --> 00:21:50.769
of her pussy? Do you happen to have a vape on

00:21:50.769 --> 00:21:54.549
you by the way? So then... Per chance. I brought

00:21:54.549 --> 00:22:01.950
up to Tyler about how... About how I spent a

00:22:01.950 --> 00:22:05.519
good portion of yesterday... jerking off to her,

00:22:05.579 --> 00:22:07.839
right? Oh, wow. And I noticed with her pussy,

00:22:07.940 --> 00:22:09.579
and when you see a picture of her pussy, you'll

00:22:09.579 --> 00:22:12.440
see it. She has a clit that looks like a regular

00:22:12.440 --> 00:22:17.400
-sized tip of a dick. No. I swear to God. It's

00:22:17.400 --> 00:22:19.200
the biggest clit. This one? And you're like,

00:22:19.299 --> 00:22:20.880
this is turning you on. Oh, jeez. No, but it

00:22:20.880 --> 00:22:23.920
got me to the point where I was like, is she

00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:28.619
maybe a switcher? Wow, that is. Yeah. It's rather

00:22:28.619 --> 00:22:30.559
large. Let me look. All right, let me see. Let

00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:32.980
me see. No, that's actually not the biggest one

00:22:32.980 --> 00:22:34.859
I've ever seen. You know some girls have like

00:22:34.859 --> 00:22:38.940
a three or four inch fucking butt. Look up Bonnie

00:22:38.940 --> 00:22:44.730
Blue fucked by a big dick. I said this is the

00:22:44.730 --> 00:22:46.690
name of the video. This is the name of the video

00:22:46.690 --> 00:22:50.049
that I was jerking off to. I need to bring you

00:22:50.049 --> 00:22:52.809
to the video that I was jerking off to. What

00:22:52.809 --> 00:22:55.690
did you say? The noise complaint here is going

00:22:55.690 --> 00:22:57.730
to be the most fucking funny thing I've ever

00:22:57.730 --> 00:23:00.430
heard in my life. Go to the video. So she has

00:23:00.430 --> 00:23:02.430
a clit. We're going to be like this guy upstairs.

00:23:02.589 --> 00:23:05.190
He was screaming out Bonnie Blue and her kids

00:23:05.190 --> 00:23:08.460
fucked with their big clit. Have you ever watched

00:23:08.460 --> 00:23:14.099
that? Dan goes, ugh. Well, these are clit decks.

00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:17.000
So, look at that thing. Hang on. Pull the video

00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:21.039
off. Oh! Hang on. No, no, no. You don't even

00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:23.819
have to watch the video. Look at this. Look at

00:23:23.819 --> 00:23:26.579
this clit that she's sporting. And tell me she's

00:23:26.579 --> 00:23:29.519
maybe not a switcheroo. That is a big fucking

00:23:29.519 --> 00:23:32.059
clit. Look at that thing. It's big. It's big.

00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:34.779
It's half the size of my soft cock. It's just

00:23:34.779 --> 00:23:37.819
kind of hood, dude. No, dude. It's wild. It's

00:23:37.819 --> 00:23:40.299
big, but it's kind of soft. Dan, you could be

00:23:40.299 --> 00:23:42.119
over there by that fucking lamppost, and I could

00:23:42.119 --> 00:23:43.660
be standing here with a fucking ping pong ball,

00:23:43.740 --> 00:23:45.420
and I could hit that clit no fucking issue. Yeah,

00:23:45.420 --> 00:23:47.500
she's got a big clit. That thing is huge, and

00:23:47.500 --> 00:23:49.359
that brought me to the dilemma. I've seen bigger

00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:53.200
clits, though. You've seen bigger where? One

00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:56.259
gummy per day. Watch this guy. Look at this guy.

00:23:56.299 --> 00:23:58.480
Plus four, six points in nine days. Look at the

00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:01.660
size of his cock. That's like a beepus cock.

00:24:02.299 --> 00:24:05.140
He does have a big cock. Beepus? He sent me a

00:24:05.140 --> 00:24:06.740
fucking nude and then he goes, oh, I thought

00:24:06.740 --> 00:24:08.839
your name was Taylor, bro. And I'm like, yeah,

00:24:08.900 --> 00:24:10.980
nice cock, bro. No, but what I'm saying is...

00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:14.099
I went to the dilemma of, am I jerking off to

00:24:14.099 --> 00:24:18.779
a tranny? Which, as an inclusive man, as a social

00:24:18.779 --> 00:24:21.460
worker, I love it. That's concerning. That is

00:24:21.460 --> 00:24:22.980
what her pussy looks like. That's concerning.

00:24:22.980 --> 00:24:24.960
Casey, play the fucking video, Casey. Oh, Jesus

00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:26.420
Christ. Play the video of her getting fucked

00:24:26.420 --> 00:24:29.099
a missionary. We have to listen to the audio,

00:24:29.240 --> 00:24:32.740
too. Play the video of her getting fucked a missionary

00:24:32.740 --> 00:24:36.599
and keep the audio on, all right? How far into

00:24:36.599 --> 00:24:38.119
this is this? I don't know. Find the fucking

00:24:38.119 --> 00:24:41.000
missionary. Look at how hot she is, though. Fuck.

00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:43.900
Look it. Look. Look at the clip. I want to see

00:24:43.900 --> 00:24:51.029
her. Look at the clip. That's a huge clip. Is

00:24:51.029 --> 00:24:54.730
this what we evolved to? Gentlemen, come on!

00:24:54.750 --> 00:24:56.730
Look at the size of that fucking thing! Gentlemen,

00:24:56.750 --> 00:25:00.789
sit down! It looks like a soft collar. And so

00:25:00.789 --> 00:25:04.289
what got me going was, am I watching somebody...

00:25:04.289 --> 00:25:07.269
Tyler, put your pants on! Jesus fucking Christ!

00:25:07.269 --> 00:25:11.369
Am I watching somebody that's trans - I mean,

00:25:11.410 --> 00:25:14.849
that's bad. Did she turn her ball sack into a

00:25:14.849 --> 00:25:16.329
pussy? I don't think so, because there's some

00:25:16.329 --> 00:25:18.609
girls with literally four or five That thing

00:25:18.609 --> 00:25:21.150
is huge. I've never seen that. What's her name?

00:25:21.210 --> 00:25:23.609
I've fucked a few couple of women. Oh, yeah.

00:25:23.690 --> 00:25:26.069
What's her name? Bonnie Blue. Bonnie Blue. She

00:25:26.069 --> 00:25:27.529
fucked a thousand guys. I'm going to save this

00:25:27.529 --> 00:25:29.730
one for later. This actually leads me perfectly

00:25:29.730 --> 00:25:32.710
into our next segment, which is a little game

00:25:32.710 --> 00:25:36.230
that we like to call... I love this game. Girl

00:25:36.230 --> 00:25:40.190
versus Tranny. Girl versus Tranny. Bring it back

00:25:40.190 --> 00:25:43.900
for episode 100. Fuck. When was the last time

00:25:43.900 --> 00:25:45.660
you guys played this game? I love Tomboys. When

00:25:45.660 --> 00:25:47.180
was the last time you guys played this? This

00:25:47.180 --> 00:25:49.220
was like fucking 15 years ago. This was a long

00:25:49.220 --> 00:25:52.680
time ago. I just want all the untitled podcast

00:25:52.680 --> 00:25:54.640
listeners to know that when I come on the podcast,

00:25:54.880 --> 00:25:58.220
fun things happen. Fun things happen. I need

00:25:58.220 --> 00:26:00.079
more champagne. Hold on. All I'm saying is...

00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:03.519
Yeah, damn! All I'm saying is if these fucking

00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:05.480
cocksuckers will shut the fuck up, all I'm saying

00:26:05.480 --> 00:26:09.180
is in 2026, I'm running... Or 2025, sorry. I'm

00:26:09.180 --> 00:26:12.059
running for president. President. president of

00:26:12.059 --> 00:26:14.619
the Untitled Podcast. I'm running as president,

00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:16.920
okay? And I will take over this fucking president.

00:26:17.039 --> 00:26:19.440
What party? The Go Fuck Yourself Tyler party.

00:26:19.559 --> 00:26:21.839
Let's go! Yeah, that's what it is. We're gonna

00:26:21.839 --> 00:26:24.119
do sex, we're gonna do drugs, and we're gonna

00:26:24.119 --> 00:26:27.079
listen to some old -time 70s rock and roll. Kyle,

00:26:27.079 --> 00:26:29.099
what are you up to? We'll start off with you,

00:26:29.160 --> 00:26:34.319
Kyle. Girl or training? Oh, fuck. That's a big

00:26:34.319 --> 00:26:37.900
gap. In the underwear. Can I zoom? Can I zoom?

00:26:38.579 --> 00:26:43.599
Um... Oh, Jesus, that's your license. Wait, is

00:26:43.599 --> 00:26:46.140
it? That's a tranny. Let me see. Look at her

00:26:46.140 --> 00:26:54.000
face. That's a tranny. Kyle says tranny. That's

00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:56.579
a chick. That's a chick. I'm going with chick

00:26:56.579 --> 00:26:58.700
on that one. Wait, hold up. Hold up. Bring it

00:26:58.700 --> 00:27:00.920
back. Bring it back. You'll have your turn, Allie

00:27:00.920 --> 00:27:04.759
Mack. It's a 100 % chick. Tyler says girl. You

00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:06.539
think it's a girl? I think it's a girl. Look

00:27:06.539 --> 00:27:09.140
at the face. It's a dude face. Look at the hair.

00:27:09.140 --> 00:27:11.460
The legs are too skinny. Yeah. So, like, all

00:27:11.460 --> 00:27:12.380
right. Here's the difference. Look at the gap

00:27:12.380 --> 00:27:14.579
on the underwear. Here, let me see. That's a

00:27:14.579 --> 00:27:17.619
dude. Don't bias me. That's a dude. Don't bias

00:27:17.619 --> 00:27:19.539
me. Let me see this. Don't bias me. I'll tell

00:27:19.539 --> 00:27:23.880
you why. I'll tell you why. I can't. Do you guys

00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:26.240
do, like, would you fuck this or not? Like, or

00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:29.200
is that not part of the game? It's pretty much

00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:33.960
a given we would. I thought that's what we were

00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:35.579
going for. None of these girls would not be fucked.

00:27:38.680 --> 00:28:04.019
We got two chicks and two trainees. So what Kyle's

00:28:04.019 --> 00:28:06.720
saying, jaw's a little big, nipples are a little

00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:08.940
small. For those listeners that have not ever

00:28:08.940 --> 00:28:12.859
met Dan before, he has an ozemic face. His cheekbones

00:28:12.859 --> 00:28:16.079
just stick out far. Allie Mac and Tyler say girl.

00:28:16.079 --> 00:28:20.160
Dan and Kyle say... So the legs look like somebody

00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:21.960
who starved themselves to look like a woman.

00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:25.180
More than an actual skinny woman. It's a tranny.

00:28:25.339 --> 00:28:28.339
That's a tranny. Alright, the correct answer.

00:28:28.700 --> 00:28:30.839
He didn't get my dick though. It was a girl.

00:28:31.619 --> 00:28:38.059
No way! No way! You're a gaydar, bro. I thought

00:28:38.059 --> 00:28:42.039
that was a chick with a dick. We're in a different

00:28:42.039 --> 00:28:48.119
time. To be fair, me and Dan grew up in the 90s.

00:28:48.410 --> 00:28:51.470
All right. Let me see that again. Show me. I

00:28:51.470 --> 00:28:53.329
wouldn't. I don't know. That's a dude. There's

00:28:53.329 --> 00:28:56.170
like a lot of trainees I would fuck before. I

00:28:56.170 --> 00:28:58.130
wouldn't fuck that. There's a lot of trainees

00:28:58.130 --> 00:29:00.630
that I would go down on before I even thought

00:29:00.630 --> 00:29:03.509
about that one. And that one has a pussy. That's

00:29:03.509 --> 00:29:05.589
wow. Unbelievable. I'm good. I'm good on that.

00:29:05.589 --> 00:29:07.829
That's one point for Ellie Mack and Tyler. Who

00:29:07.829 --> 00:29:11.589
fucking develops these women? Next one. Next

00:29:11.589 --> 00:29:17.759
one, Kyle. Oh, see, this is a trick. They're

00:29:17.759 --> 00:29:20.740
all tricks. That's the point. Do they get steadily

00:29:20.740 --> 00:29:24.700
harder? This one's bad, bro. You got the first

00:29:24.700 --> 00:29:28.799
one wrong. No, wait till you see this one. Wait

00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:31.259
till you see this one. This one looks like Sean

00:29:31.259 --> 00:29:33.839
O 'Brien. This one's Sean O 'Brien without the

00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:37.160
nose. This is Beepus without the nose, bro. If

00:29:37.160 --> 00:29:38.920
this one had a 12 inch nose. That shit sounds

00:29:38.920 --> 00:29:43.380
hot as fuck. Ah, fuck. You're trying to trick

00:29:43.380 --> 00:29:45.240
me. That's a check. It's a chick. I'm gonna go

00:29:45.240 --> 00:29:50.920
for the chick. It's a chick. Put a big nose on

00:29:50.920 --> 00:29:53.740
that. That's not Sean O. You gonna tell me that's

00:29:53.740 --> 00:29:56.180
not Sean O? With a big fucking honker? I'm not

00:29:56.180 --> 00:29:58.480
gonna tell you that. I'm not gonna tell you that

00:29:58.480 --> 00:30:02.400
because I'd be lying straight to your face. Shake,

00:30:02.480 --> 00:30:07.940
shake, shake, shake, shake, yeah. That's a chick.

00:30:08.220 --> 00:30:11.079
If it means that much to you. That's a chick,

00:30:11.079 --> 00:30:15.829
bro. Still looking at this Bonnie Blucher. You

00:30:15.829 --> 00:30:19.089
like her, don't you? Yeah, she's good. God, bro,

00:30:19.230 --> 00:30:23.650
but is it really? It just hits you. That's a

00:30:23.650 --> 00:30:26.470
trick. I'm not seeing an Adam Jekyll either.

00:30:27.430 --> 00:30:30.450
No muscle mass. I'm saying that's a girl. That's

00:30:30.450 --> 00:30:34.069
a tough one. Is Dan going to go against the group

00:30:34.069 --> 00:30:36.549
opinion and say it's a dude? If you want to see

00:30:36.549 --> 00:30:38.609
any of these pictures, all you have to do is

00:30:38.609 --> 00:30:42.529
go on Reddit and look up tomboy. That looks like

00:30:42.529 --> 00:30:45.009
a girl trying to look like a guy. That's a girl.

00:30:45.549 --> 00:30:47.789
That's a chick. What did Tyler say? I said a

00:30:47.789 --> 00:30:49.950
chick. We all said chick. They all said chick.

00:30:50.269 --> 00:30:56.309
They're all right. Let's go. We got two. Am I

00:30:56.309 --> 00:31:00.970
the only one? One point to everybody. Am I the

00:31:00.970 --> 00:31:10.029
only one? Am I the only one? This is a dude.

00:31:10.810 --> 00:31:13.490
Hang on. Let me look at it before I make that

00:31:13.490 --> 00:31:16.309
decision. Listen, so far my radar's been pretty

00:31:16.309 --> 00:31:17.869
good. This one's pretty hot. I'm not going to

00:31:17.869 --> 00:31:20.150
lie. If this winds up to be a dude, I'm going

00:31:20.150 --> 00:31:22.690
to be heartbroken. That's usually how this game

00:31:22.690 --> 00:31:26.930
goes. She's got lines on her wrist. She's cut

00:31:26.930 --> 00:31:29.410
herself. That makes it better. That's a different

00:31:29.410 --> 00:31:33.980
scenario now. So here's what I'm going to talk

00:31:33.980 --> 00:31:35.940
to you guys about. Every single one. I'm no longer

00:31:35.940 --> 00:31:38.420
looking at her. Because she's very feminine.

00:31:38.559 --> 00:31:40.039
Every single one. I'm looking at the phone case.

00:31:41.160 --> 00:31:43.319
And we're looking at graffiti with different

00:31:43.319 --> 00:31:45.740
pictures. We've got earrings. Trying to rip.

00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:49.400
Ooh. Nope. I noticed something. Dude. That's

00:31:49.400 --> 00:31:51.759
a tranny. I noticed something. Right off the

00:31:51.759 --> 00:31:58.589
rip. Tranny. Dude. Yeah. I picked up my swords.

00:31:59.430 --> 00:32:01.190
There's that. Tyler, did you know there's actually

00:32:01.190 --> 00:32:06.349
a subreddit for girls with scars? Really? Yeah.

00:32:06.470 --> 00:32:08.650
You want me to give you... I'm guessing Tranny,

00:32:08.789 --> 00:32:12.529
too. You want me to give you a really good subreddit

00:32:12.529 --> 00:32:15.829
to follow? I'm pretty confident in that, too.

00:32:15.910 --> 00:32:17.930
I don't follow it, but sometimes when I get on

00:32:17.930 --> 00:32:20.809
some real hornball shit, it's called Free Use.

00:32:21.170 --> 00:32:24.309
What's that? It's basically... So, it's a relationship,

00:32:24.529 --> 00:32:27.460
men and women. And the woman subjects herself

00:32:27.460 --> 00:32:29.680
to be pretty used to the man. So she'll just

00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:32.299
be, it's just like, you'll see the chick just

00:32:32.299 --> 00:32:34.539
like they're cooking, right? Chopping up vegetables.

00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:36.500
And the guy comes in, I don't know where, with

00:32:36.500 --> 00:32:38.400
his dick out and just shoves it in her mouth

00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:40.740
or her fucking pussy or whatever. Just does whatever

00:32:40.740 --> 00:32:42.339
he wants. And he just starts fucking her. But

00:32:42.339 --> 00:32:44.700
she can't moan or nothing. She just keeps chopping

00:32:44.700 --> 00:32:46.769
the vegetables. Oh, that's kind of cool. And

00:32:46.769 --> 00:32:49.309
he fucking plows her out. I kind of like that.

00:32:49.369 --> 00:32:51.230
Pulls out, blows his load, and she goes right

00:32:51.230 --> 00:32:53.210
back to do what she's done. Wow, like a little

00:32:53.210 --> 00:32:56.369
servant. Yes. That's the whole point. It's like

00:32:56.369 --> 00:32:58.410
they're a free -use service. I don't know what

00:32:58.410 --> 00:33:01.690
it is, but I'm fucking it. What do you say, Dan?

00:33:01.950 --> 00:33:06.130
I'm fucking it. What I'm saying is if that winds

00:33:06.130 --> 00:33:09.210
up to be a dude, I'm heartbroken. I'm not anything.

00:33:09.250 --> 00:33:11.269
I don't care. I'm fucking it. I'd fuck that because

00:33:11.269 --> 00:33:14.130
it has an Adam's apple. It's a dude. What's your

00:33:14.130 --> 00:33:18.359
answer? I'm gonna say I'm hoping I'm hoping against

00:33:18.359 --> 00:33:21.019
hope it's a chick. All right. That came up to

00:33:21.019 --> 00:33:35.839
me at a bar dances girl She's got a tattoo over

00:33:35.839 --> 00:33:37.559
the Adam's apple, it's what everybody gets a

00:33:37.559 --> 00:33:39.259
point except there. That's what gave it to me

00:33:40.859 --> 00:33:43.000
She did it. I'd still let her suck my dick. Where

00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:45.940
are the standings? Where are the standings? Look,

00:33:46.460 --> 00:33:49.180
matter what it is, if she's hotter than your

00:33:49.180 --> 00:33:51.680
significant other, it's not gay. Alright, Kyle.

00:33:55.339 --> 00:33:58.660
You're shitting me, right? I am not shitting

00:33:58.660 --> 00:34:01.480
you. Is this a trick one? No, they get harder,

00:34:01.619 --> 00:34:05.000
actually. No, this one is pretty hard. That's

00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:06.359
kind of hard, yeah. Dude, that first one was

00:34:06.359 --> 00:34:08.639
a mindfuck. I know. Because I would have fucked

00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:11.579
the shit out of that last one. This one is my

00:34:11.579 --> 00:34:14.159
kind of girl. And if it turns out that this one

00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:16.739
isn't a girl, I might walk off the fucking set.

00:34:17.099 --> 00:34:20.139
I might walk off the fucking set. You're going

00:34:20.139 --> 00:34:22.420
to walk three hours. I'm going to walk fucking

00:34:22.420 --> 00:34:25.619
18 hours down I -87. You're going to walk 300

00:34:25.619 --> 00:34:29.619
miles. Holy shit. This one is. Oh, my God. 200.

00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:33.719
It's only 100. 100. I think the 100. 20. 120.

00:34:34.019 --> 00:34:39.769
Yeah. You're kidding me, bro. You're pulling

00:34:39.769 --> 00:34:41.610
at my heartstrings with this one. You know that?

00:34:41.670 --> 00:34:44.570
Because this is hot. I mean, either way, you

00:34:44.570 --> 00:34:46.469
can still fuck it. It's a hot girl. Pick one.

00:34:46.530 --> 00:34:50.429
Pick one. That's a dude. That's a dude, and I'm

00:34:50.429 --> 00:34:53.849
attracted to that. Kyle says tranny. It's a tranny,

00:34:53.849 --> 00:34:57.590
and I'm fucking attracted to that. This is 2025,

00:34:57.989 --> 00:35:01.869
bro. Oh, shit. This is hot, dude. You see what

00:35:01.869 --> 00:35:04.300
I'm talking about. That one's hot. This is even

00:35:04.300 --> 00:35:06.800
fucking more ambiguous than when we started this

00:35:06.800 --> 00:35:08.760
podcast. That's the kind of girl that I lay over

00:35:08.760 --> 00:35:10.599
the bed with her head hanging off the end of

00:35:10.599 --> 00:35:12.659
the mattress and I skull fuck them. Right. Yeah.

00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:16.460
Right. See, because it's, the hormones have gotten

00:35:16.460 --> 00:35:20.199
better. Tyler is jumping rope with an invisible

00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:24.300
rope. I think that's a chick. Wow. So we're 1

00:35:24.300 --> 00:35:25.880
-1 here. I think that's a chick. You hope it's

00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:28.320
a chick. Dude chick. Dude chick, yeah. I never

00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:30.159
said anything, but I think it's a chick. Where

00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:33.010
are you getting the trannies? Casey. Oh, so the

00:35:33.010 --> 00:35:35.809
trannies are from Trans Gone Wild subreddit.

00:35:35.869 --> 00:35:38.250
Right. I've been on that one a couple times.

00:35:40.789 --> 00:35:45.090
Me and one friend. No, there's like a million

00:35:45.090 --> 00:35:51.110
people on that. I'm invested in this game. I

00:35:51.110 --> 00:35:52.969
hope I'm not. Why is that so funny? What are

00:35:52.969 --> 00:35:54.760
you reading? No, no. It all makes sense when

00:35:54.760 --> 00:35:57.420
you're talking about doing nofap. And all of

00:35:57.420 --> 00:35:58.940
us are like, nah, we're good. Because we're watching

00:35:58.940 --> 00:36:02.619
regular old porno. You're on fucking trains going

00:36:02.619 --> 00:36:05.579
wild, bro. I know, I just checked it out. I just

00:36:05.579 --> 00:36:09.519
checked it out. No, you don't. You get in a fucking

00:36:09.519 --> 00:36:11.519
rabbit hole like that. That's the whole reason

00:36:11.519 --> 00:36:14.039
why you fucking go, alright, I'm going a little

00:36:14.039 --> 00:36:16.559
too deep. I'm going a little too fucking deep.

00:36:17.400 --> 00:36:22.239
Once you go to channels going wild, Brazzers

00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:24.849
doesn't do it for you anymore. That doesn't bother

00:36:24.849 --> 00:36:29.789
me. I'm doing girl. I'm saying girl. That doesn't

00:36:29.789 --> 00:36:39.190
bother me. Trainee girl, girl. I'm saying it's

00:36:39.190 --> 00:36:46.360
a dude. Alright, yeah. I think we got this one.

00:36:46.519 --> 00:36:53.260
You can't go back to fucking amateur fucking.

00:36:53.639 --> 00:36:56.300
Yeah, yeah. You can't go to casting couch after

00:36:56.300 --> 00:36:59.800
that. I'm sorry. The correct answer is a girl.

00:37:01.719 --> 00:37:03.880
I'm the worst at this. I should be the best.

00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:07.559
You're good, bro. I'm like, that's a hard one.

00:37:08.380 --> 00:37:10.179
I was like, that's a hot girl. I really want

00:37:10.179 --> 00:37:13.420
to fuck her. Tranny. Y 'all are fucking gay as

00:37:13.420 --> 00:37:17.760
fuck, dude. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? No,

00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:20.579
because the problem with this podcast, the problem

00:37:20.579 --> 00:37:22.599
with this podcast is Dan's going to make me go

00:37:22.599 --> 00:37:25.400
on trainings called wild after we stop recording

00:37:25.400 --> 00:37:27.900
and I'm going to be in that fucking shower jerking

00:37:27.900 --> 00:37:32.179
off with a cigarette in my mouth. Not even a

00:37:32.179 --> 00:37:38.800
good one, bro. You just gotta go to Reddit Transporn.

00:37:40.800 --> 00:37:43.239
I don't know if I'm experienced, but if I did,

00:37:43.360 --> 00:37:45.500
that's what I would go to. No, this one's hard,

00:37:45.639 --> 00:37:51.099
too. Not a lot. I can't believe I'm guessing

00:37:51.099 --> 00:37:54.000
this. You know what? This one is a trans. She's

00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:55.840
a real faggot because her shirt says, please

00:37:55.840 --> 00:38:00.679
don't do coke. Oye, me gusta parrico. Me gusta

00:38:00.679 --> 00:38:03.980
parrico. Quiero parrico. De donde esta parrico,

00:38:04.059 --> 00:38:09.880
papi? Trans. Okay. I didn't know that we spoke

00:38:09.880 --> 00:38:14.539
Spanish here. All right, catch me up with the

00:38:14.539 --> 00:38:16.460
points. I'm going to guess. Catch me up with

00:38:16.460 --> 00:38:18.400
the points for the last one. I'm guessing Chick.

00:38:19.420 --> 00:38:23.460
I'm guessing Chick. He said Trini. I said Chick.

00:38:23.599 --> 00:38:27.699
The last one. Who got a point? I tweeted. We're

00:38:27.699 --> 00:38:30.780
fucking 4 -4 right now. I think so. You and me

00:38:30.780 --> 00:38:33.199
are killing it right now. I'm not going to lie.

00:38:33.320 --> 00:38:35.619
You know what's a really good idea? I'm totally

00:38:35.619 --> 00:38:39.260
stealing this from Legion of Skanks, but it's

00:38:39.260 --> 00:38:42.000
a game where everybody on the panel tells stories.

00:38:42.559 --> 00:38:44.679
to, like, you or something like you as a producer.

00:38:44.699 --> 00:38:47.159
I'm a little girl, too. And then you tell the

00:38:47.159 --> 00:38:50.079
story. Like, oh, I once went down on a tranny

00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:54.380
in an alley. And we all argue about who it was.

00:38:54.400 --> 00:38:56.619
That's not a tomboy. And then, like, if they

00:38:56.619 --> 00:39:00.239
say, like, say Dan, Tyler, and Ali say it was

00:39:00.239 --> 00:39:03.199
me, and I go, no, it was Dan. I just can't. I

00:39:03.199 --> 00:39:04.800
don't want to give you. I don't want to split

00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:06.860
your voting. I just think it's a trick. I like

00:39:06.860 --> 00:39:09.199
that game. Yeah, it's a pretty good game. Yeah.

00:39:09.380 --> 00:39:11.909
Yeah, I got jerked off by an eighth grader. Oh.

00:39:12.789 --> 00:39:15.650
All right. I'm going to be heading out now, James.

00:39:16.150 --> 00:39:18.610
I was going to say the same thing. I'm going

00:39:18.610 --> 00:39:22.909
to tell you what. You need to say that. After

00:39:22.909 --> 00:39:25.250
all the conversations at the fucking dinner,

00:39:25.510 --> 00:39:28.090
you know for a fact you need to lead off with

00:39:28.090 --> 00:39:30.889
that part. I was in seventh grade. I got jerked

00:39:30.889 --> 00:39:33.750
off by an eighth grader. Not fucking 38 -year

00:39:33.750 --> 00:39:36.010
-old Daniel. I got jerked off by an eighth grader.

00:39:37.909 --> 00:39:47.349
True story. Tyler and Alibeck say girl. I'm thinking

00:39:47.349 --> 00:39:49.329
that's a fucking, like, I just, I don't see an

00:39:49.329 --> 00:39:51.050
Adam's apple. No, but that's a tranny because

00:39:51.050 --> 00:39:53.130
look at that faggot fucking shirt she's wearing.

00:39:53.329 --> 00:39:54.630
But the thing is, I'm like looking at it, I'm

00:39:54.630 --> 00:39:57.269
like, it's either, ah, fuck, he's saying it's

00:39:57.269 --> 00:40:00.070
a Tom Cruise. Don't do coke. Don't do coke. What

00:40:00.070 --> 00:40:02.030
are you guys saying? Only fucking liberals wear

00:40:02.030 --> 00:40:04.090
that shit. She chopped her fucking dick off to

00:40:04.090 --> 00:40:07.110
become a girl. What are you guys saying? Tranny.

00:40:07.840 --> 00:40:12.159
Oh, these two said girls. She chopped her fucking

00:40:12.159 --> 00:40:14.920
dick off because Casey O 'Neil and Joe Biden

00:40:14.920 --> 00:40:17.679
told her to. I reckon Casey O 'Neil and Joe Biden

00:40:17.679 --> 00:40:19.860
told her to cut her fucking dick off. Dan says

00:40:19.860 --> 00:40:27.699
tranny. I reckon that's correct. I've seen it

00:40:27.699 --> 00:40:32.679
on Casey O 'Neil. Oh, fuck. Dave knows her from

00:40:32.679 --> 00:40:41.320
Reddit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What are the

00:40:41.320 --> 00:40:43.639
standings? What are the standings? Give them

00:40:43.639 --> 00:40:46.900
to me. You're number one. You're perfect. I'm

00:40:46.900 --> 00:40:49.800
one below you. No, I lost that last one. I had

00:40:49.800 --> 00:40:53.360
nothing to advantage in that one. Yeah, fuck

00:40:53.360 --> 00:40:55.960
you, Dan. Fuck you, Dan goes in. Yeah, I bet

00:40:55.960 --> 00:40:59.079
you're gonna fight it. When it goes, it comes

00:40:59.079 --> 00:41:01.619
in from the landslide. I got something that's

00:41:01.619 --> 00:41:04.739
gonna make you guys real unhappy. Wait, what's

00:41:04.739 --> 00:41:06.340
the leaderboard right now? I got something that's

00:41:06.340 --> 00:41:15.880
gonna make you guys real unhappy. Holy shit.

00:41:17.039 --> 00:41:22.079
God. What the fuck? Fuck. There's things that

00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:24.500
you can explain in life and then there's those.

00:41:24.500 --> 00:41:27.739
You got a hammer on her. That girl's got a wrench

00:41:27.739 --> 00:41:32.559
if I ever saw one. Casey, pull up a... Gentlemen,

00:41:32.739 --> 00:41:35.940
that was humbling. That was a humbling experience

00:41:35.940 --> 00:41:39.739
I just experienced right there. Casey, pull up

00:41:39.739 --> 00:41:44.659
Noel Easton on Dog Fart Network facial sweaty

00:41:44.659 --> 00:41:47.860
back room 4K. How about we just go to the next

00:41:47.860 --> 00:41:51.469
one? Here you go. Wait, where are the standings?

00:41:53.210 --> 00:41:57.070
All right. Dan's got two. Tyler's got four. LMAX

00:41:57.070 --> 00:41:59.929
got four. Kyle's got three. Trainee. Trainee.

00:42:00.030 --> 00:42:01.789
And I'm not going to let you know why I knew

00:42:01.789 --> 00:42:04.269
it was so quick. Kyle says trainee. I'm not going

00:42:04.269 --> 00:42:06.010
to let you know why I knew it was so quick, but

00:42:06.010 --> 00:42:07.349
it was something to do with that last picture

00:42:07.349 --> 00:42:12.440
you just sent. That's a trainee. Look at Ali.

00:42:13.260 --> 00:42:16.579
Look at him. He thinks he can drink with a big

00:42:16.579 --> 00:42:18.659
dog and he can't even look straight. Look at

00:42:18.659 --> 00:42:21.659
him. He's doing what my dad does. I'm doing research,

00:42:21.900 --> 00:42:25.519
Kyle. I'm doing research over here. All right?

00:42:25.760 --> 00:42:27.860
I'm trying to bring a methodical fart process.

00:42:28.260 --> 00:42:30.460
For anybody that can't see, which is everybody

00:42:30.460 --> 00:42:32.900
but the five people at this table. Is there a

00:42:32.900 --> 00:42:35.900
camera that will be there? Fuck Kyle. Allie Mac's

00:42:35.900 --> 00:42:37.679
got his buck teeth hanging out with his fucking

00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:40.139
double chin hanging down. He's fucking... He

00:42:40.139 --> 00:42:42.380
doesn't have buck teeth. No, but look at what

00:42:42.380 --> 00:42:43.980
he did. He's got his fucking teeth hanging out.

00:42:44.019 --> 00:42:45.800
He's looking back. He's squinting his eyes up

00:42:45.800 --> 00:42:48.199
looking at the phone. Look at him. He's so fucking

00:42:48.199 --> 00:42:50.579
drunk. He can't drink with the big dog. I told

00:42:50.579 --> 00:42:52.949
him not to. I told him not to, that I'll clean

00:42:52.949 --> 00:42:56.230
up the beer. No, I can drink. Fuck me. You can

00:42:56.230 --> 00:42:59.489
drink, but just settle the fuck down. Settle

00:42:59.489 --> 00:43:02.769
the fuck down, Allie, man. Me? Yeah. You can't

00:43:02.769 --> 00:43:05.590
drink with the big fucking dog. Cheers. I'll

00:43:05.590 --> 00:43:09.170
drink to that. I'll drink to that, bitch. I'll

00:43:09.170 --> 00:43:11.789
drink to you guys. Hey, save some for your mouth,

00:43:11.889 --> 00:43:14.030
bro. It's all over your fucking sweatshirt. I

00:43:14.030 --> 00:43:15.510
got a small mouth. I said it's a tranny. That's

00:43:15.510 --> 00:43:19.650
a guy. That's definitely a guy. That's definitely

00:43:19.650 --> 00:43:22.039
a guy. Looks familiar. I'm going to say it's

00:43:22.039 --> 00:43:26.360
a tranny. The reason why I said it was a tranny

00:43:26.360 --> 00:43:28.239
is because she's looking at her con. She is looking

00:43:28.239 --> 00:43:30.539
at her con. Thank you. Everybody says tranny.

00:43:30.679 --> 00:43:34.519
That's right. If he never showed that last picture,

00:43:34.659 --> 00:43:36.059
I would have never said it. Are you going to

00:43:36.059 --> 00:43:37.820
give us the names? What are you looking at? Because

00:43:37.820 --> 00:43:40.030
she ain't looking at your pussy. He ain't looking

00:43:40.030 --> 00:43:42.170
at you. See? See? That's a good, that was good

00:43:42.170 --> 00:43:44.710
logic. Yeah, yeah. She's looking at the cock.

00:43:45.010 --> 00:43:46.929
I thought of the same thing. It's like, you just

00:43:46.929 --> 00:43:49.090
gotta, you gotta base it off the eye trajectory

00:43:49.090 --> 00:43:51.670
there. It ain't there. It ain't there. You can

00:43:51.670 --> 00:43:54.250
tell it's about five inches off. Listen, I have

00:43:54.250 --> 00:43:56.309
a separate, I have a separate tactic. I just

00:43:56.309 --> 00:43:58.289
love disappointing you guys so much, so here's

00:43:58.289 --> 00:44:01.710
that one, by the way. She is so hot. Oh my god.

00:44:01.730 --> 00:44:04.480
What was that? Let me see that. That was the

00:44:04.480 --> 00:44:07.960
third one. She does kind of look like Sean O

00:44:07.960 --> 00:44:10.719
'Brien. She has the same size dick. She looks

00:44:10.719 --> 00:44:14.559
like Sean. She has the same size dick. She has

00:44:14.559 --> 00:44:16.579
the same size dick. If she had a bigger nose,

00:44:16.619 --> 00:44:19.539
it would be the same person. That's Sean O 'Brien

00:44:19.539 --> 00:44:21.940
right there. Hey, Beavis, if you're listening

00:44:21.940 --> 00:44:24.619
to this, text me, but I doubt you will. Sean

00:44:24.619 --> 00:44:26.480
O, I know you don't listen to any of these, but

00:44:26.480 --> 00:44:29.860
I love you. I loved you before Ali Mack loved

00:44:29.860 --> 00:44:35.530
you. Hey, Sean O. Fuck you. This one's a chick.

00:44:35.730 --> 00:44:38.389
You didn't get this from Tran. He's going wild.

00:44:38.489 --> 00:44:40.909
You got this from fucking... What's that name

00:44:40.909 --> 00:44:43.489
of that porn site I used to watch with the crackheads?

00:44:43.829 --> 00:44:46.210
Crackhead Confessions. Crackhead Confessions.

00:44:47.210 --> 00:44:50.090
That's from Crackhead Confessions. That's not

00:44:50.090 --> 00:44:52.829
where I got that. That is 1000 % from Crackhead

00:44:52.829 --> 00:44:54.869
Confessions. Have you ever watched it? No. You

00:44:54.869 --> 00:44:57.469
want to go in a rabbit hole? Well, I mean, I'm

00:44:57.469 --> 00:45:00.409
kind of interested. This guy with a lot of money.

00:45:00.710 --> 00:45:03.510
He's a white dude. Picks up fucking homeless

00:45:03.510 --> 00:45:06.429
people, crackheads, whatever. Offers them money

00:45:06.429 --> 00:45:07.829
and he brings them here. We're going to do an

00:45:07.829 --> 00:45:09.630
interview. Gets them to get their clothes off.

00:45:09.969 --> 00:45:12.250
Offers them more money for sex. Fucks them. Gives

00:45:12.250 --> 00:45:14.090
them drugs. And then that's it. That's the porn.

00:45:14.510 --> 00:45:16.750
That sounds really like... I feel like that's

00:45:16.750 --> 00:45:19.550
way worse than it. I feel like that's worse than

00:45:19.550 --> 00:45:22.530
Transbound Live. So you think it's a chick? No,

00:45:22.550 --> 00:45:24.510
that's 100 % a chick. I've seen her on Crackhead

00:45:24.510 --> 00:45:28.269
Confessions. I've seen her on Crackhead Confessions,

00:45:28.269 --> 00:45:32.030
bro. Casey, pull up Crackhead Confessions on

00:45:32.030 --> 00:45:36.429
Pornhub. What is that? This is good. I've never

00:45:36.429 --> 00:45:39.429
had a producer say it. I've never had a producer

00:45:39.429 --> 00:45:41.329
I could do this with. Dude, I always have dreams

00:45:41.329 --> 00:45:43.170
that like... You ever have a dream where you

00:45:43.170 --> 00:45:45.889
find a new room in your house? I feel like this

00:45:45.889 --> 00:45:48.809
new genre of porn. That's a tomboy. That's a

00:45:48.809 --> 00:45:51.630
tomboy. What the fuck is this? Oh, he's got it

00:45:51.630 --> 00:45:55.469
up. He's got it up. I don't know which video

00:45:55.469 --> 00:45:57.170
you're talking about. Yeah, that looks like a

00:45:57.170 --> 00:46:00.840
girl. And then if you get a second... But I don't

00:46:00.840 --> 00:46:03.039
fuck like two of those trannies before I fuck

00:46:03.039 --> 00:46:07.559
her. Crack whore fucks. No, it's crack whore.

00:46:07.719 --> 00:46:11.780
I'm just being honest. Hang on, it's crack whore

00:46:11.780 --> 00:46:16.119
chronicles. I'm sorry, I said crackhead confessions.

00:46:16.179 --> 00:46:18.679
It's crack whore chronicles. I don't want to

00:46:18.679 --> 00:46:22.820
watch this. You do, though. Oh, my fucking dad's

00:46:22.820 --> 00:46:25.019
watching fucking tranny porn on Reddit, and I'm

00:46:25.019 --> 00:46:28.679
the asshole? Did we all say girl? Yeah. That's

00:46:28.679 --> 00:46:33.380
correct. Yeah, but Kyle gave us a clue. Kyle

00:46:33.380 --> 00:46:37.239
gave us a clue. I'm the asshole for watching

00:46:37.239 --> 00:46:39.400
crackheads make money. It's getting harder, Kyle.

00:46:41.500 --> 00:46:45.679
Did you actually do this? Wow. We're still getting

00:46:45.679 --> 00:46:48.659
zero meetings, guys. Sorry, good. Wow. I feel

00:46:48.659 --> 00:46:51.500
like I need to order some fucking food. He says

00:46:51.500 --> 00:46:53.780
tranny. Again, there's a reason why I'm saying

00:46:53.780 --> 00:46:56.179
it's tranny. I'm not going to reveal it. There

00:46:56.179 --> 00:46:59.940
are some masculine features. But I don't want

00:46:59.940 --> 00:47:03.340
to reveal them for these other assholes. Look

00:47:03.340 --> 00:47:05.880
at Ali Mack. He's swaying in his chair. He cannot

00:47:05.880 --> 00:47:09.360
drink with a big dog. Red is when it gets real

00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:12.380
bad. The last time that you said that, you dribbled

00:47:12.380 --> 00:47:15.679
half your drink over your shirt. You're in a

00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:18.269
little wet spot. I do. Also, if you put it next

00:47:18.269 --> 00:47:23.190
to me. You do now. Fuck you, bitch. All right,

00:47:23.190 --> 00:47:25.949
fuck you. Cheers. Slam him. Slam him, bitch.

00:47:27.849 --> 00:47:33.389
All right, let me see this. No? Okay. Nothing

00:47:33.389 --> 00:47:40.750
on the shirt. That is... God, let me stutter

00:47:40.750 --> 00:47:44.809
the breast structure here. Jesus Christ. When

00:47:44.809 --> 00:47:46.389
you guys see them, they are some nice breasts.

00:47:46.989 --> 00:47:49.929
It makes... That's the real... It's the kicker.

00:47:49.969 --> 00:47:51.969
But there is something involved there that's

00:47:51.969 --> 00:47:53.530
going to let you... Like, if I was looking at

00:47:53.530 --> 00:47:55.670
things, I'd say dude all day. There is something

00:47:55.670 --> 00:47:57.670
there. I would say dude all day. That you're

00:47:57.670 --> 00:47:58.789
going to see that you're going to be like, that's

00:47:58.789 --> 00:48:02.809
a dude. That's a dude. I suck at this game. Why

00:48:02.809 --> 00:48:05.289
can't I play... You're not in last place. Yeah,

00:48:05.289 --> 00:48:07.309
but why can't I play caboose? I'm giving these

00:48:07.309 --> 00:48:09.769
guys fucking points. No, no, no. I'm being dead

00:48:09.769 --> 00:48:12.670
serious. I see a dude there. I'm giving these

00:48:12.670 --> 00:48:14.469
guys fucking points. We'll change it up next

00:48:14.469 --> 00:48:18.730
time. I see a dude. I see you doing it, and I

00:48:18.730 --> 00:48:21.190
think I see what you saw. How's your brother

00:48:21.190 --> 00:48:24.670
doing, Casey? I don't have a brother. Dr. Phil.

00:48:25.389 --> 00:48:31.869
He's doing way better than you are. I'm going

00:48:31.869 --> 00:48:33.889
to be a contrarian. I think that's a lady. I

00:48:33.889 --> 00:48:35.809
think that's a tomboy. You do have, well, out

00:48:35.809 --> 00:48:37.730
of everybody at this table, you are second most

00:48:37.730 --> 00:48:39.130
versed in trainings because you ain't one of

00:48:39.130 --> 00:48:42.619
their pussies. Dan. I didn't... Like, I understand

00:48:42.619 --> 00:48:44.820
why you... Dirty Dan. Just a little insight to

00:48:44.820 --> 00:48:47.360
the listeners. What do we say so far? Tranny.

00:48:48.840 --> 00:48:51.679
Tranny? I'm saying girl. I think so, yeah. I'm

00:48:51.679 --> 00:48:53.820
saying girl. Fuck, man. I want to go with my

00:48:53.820 --> 00:48:56.840
gut, but it's fucked me over so many times. I'm

00:48:56.840 --> 00:48:58.679
saying girl. Dan, I think you would pick hard

00:48:58.679 --> 00:49:01.880
ones. Think about Tranny's going wild. Just think

00:49:01.880 --> 00:49:04.039
about Tranny's going wild. I'm saying girl. I

00:49:04.039 --> 00:49:05.000
think I'm going to be the only one that says

00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:07.000
girl. I'm sucking on those titties regardless.

00:49:07.260 --> 00:49:09.260
I'm going to say that that's... I'm gonna say

00:49:09.260 --> 00:49:11.780
that's a chick. I'm saying that's a girl. I think

00:49:11.780 --> 00:49:13.900
she was. I think it was a chick. That was my

00:49:13.900 --> 00:49:15.599
gut feeling. So we got two girls. You thought

00:49:15.599 --> 00:49:17.639
she was a chick? I can't go back on it. I went

00:49:17.639 --> 00:49:19.599
training. I think it was a chick. You're going

00:49:19.599 --> 00:49:21.480
training? I rethought it, dude. Are you going

00:49:21.480 --> 00:49:23.340
training? You wanna know why? Hang on. Hang on.

00:49:23.360 --> 00:49:25.639
Before you say... Who it is. Look at the facial

00:49:25.639 --> 00:49:27.900
structure. I'd like to change my vote. You can't

00:49:27.900 --> 00:49:31.280
change it. Look at the facial structure. I'm

00:49:31.280 --> 00:49:34.099
so 50 -50. Just don't change it. I said training.

00:49:34.360 --> 00:49:36.679
Can you zoom in? I said training. Casey. Casey.

00:49:36.800 --> 00:49:39.940
Producer Casey. Can you zoom in on her facial

00:49:39.940 --> 00:49:42.440
structure for me, please? I was too busy looking

00:49:42.440 --> 00:49:44.980
at something else. That is a dude. Look it. That's

00:49:44.980 --> 00:49:46.519
not a dude. No, no, no. Hang on, hang on. Take

00:49:46.519 --> 00:49:48.719
the tits out of it. That's not a dude. Take the

00:49:48.719 --> 00:49:50.519
tits out of it. Tell me that's not a 12 -year

00:49:50.519 --> 00:49:52.440
-old boy playing soccer. Dude, that's not a dude.

00:49:52.679 --> 00:49:54.880
That's a 12 -year -old boy who refuses to get

00:49:54.880 --> 00:49:56.780
a haircut playing soccer. That's not a dude.

00:49:56.820 --> 00:49:58.579
Dude, now that he's young, man, it does look

00:49:58.579 --> 00:50:00.760
like Justin Bieber. Right, right. I'm still saying

00:50:00.760 --> 00:50:02.340
that's not a dude. Have you seen where I said

00:50:02.340 --> 00:50:04.679
it? You see it now? I'm saying it wrong. But

00:50:04.679 --> 00:50:07.659
at the same time, those breasts are so developed.

00:50:07.900 --> 00:50:10.679
And I will give it to you. The first thing I

00:50:10.679 --> 00:50:12.480
look for with scars under the breasts. Yeah.

00:50:12.659 --> 00:50:14.960
I'm saying that's a girl. I knew, but those tits

00:50:14.960 --> 00:50:17.500
look real. I think we fucked it. I'm saying girl.

00:50:17.539 --> 00:50:20.380
Casey, Casey, producer Casey. Here's what we're

00:50:20.380 --> 00:50:22.059
going to do. You lock in your final answer. I'm

00:50:22.059 --> 00:50:24.480
locking my final answer in. That's a girl. Trani,

00:50:24.519 --> 00:50:27.820
Trani. That's a chick. I'm changing it. You guys

00:50:27.820 --> 00:50:30.719
are both guys. Producer Casey, producer Casey,

00:50:30.980 --> 00:50:34.219
producer Casey, give us the results. The results.

00:50:34.440 --> 00:50:39.440
Alright, that was a girl. Oh! Fuck! You see it

00:50:39.440 --> 00:50:41.159
though, right? I see it, I see it. That could

00:50:41.159 --> 00:50:42.840
look like a 12 -year -old boy. Some of these

00:50:42.840 --> 00:50:44.960
are fucking hot. You see it though, right? 12

00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:48.420
-year -old boy? Tyler! Tyler, we're killing it

00:50:48.420 --> 00:50:50.179
right now. They got a dead tie, Ellie Mack and

00:50:50.179 --> 00:50:53.400
Tyler. Which, by the way, which, by the way,

00:50:53.420 --> 00:50:56.039
for those listening, we have not fucked one up

00:50:56.039 --> 00:50:58.820
yet. We are 100%. No, you got one wrong. You

00:50:58.820 --> 00:51:01.429
got one wrong. Am I down bad? I did. You're down

00:51:01.429 --> 00:51:03.889
by two. I'm down by two? Yeah. How many are left?

00:51:04.130 --> 00:51:08.429
Three. So don't call it a comeback, but... Alright,

00:51:08.530 --> 00:51:11.469
we're going to Dan first on this one. This one's

00:51:11.469 --> 00:51:15.130
going to be a mindfuck. Alright, just because...

00:51:15.130 --> 00:51:18.150
Alright, just because it looks like a vagina,

00:51:18.289 --> 00:51:21.190
I'm going to say that this is a trick and this

00:51:21.190 --> 00:51:23.610
is... Wait, is there no face? No face. But then

00:51:23.610 --> 00:51:25.489
you might think we know it's gonna be a trick.

00:51:25.730 --> 00:51:27.869
Right, I'll do that reverse psychology on you.

00:51:27.909 --> 00:51:29.809
Fuck you. But now I'm actually doing reverse

00:51:29.809 --> 00:51:32.010
psychology. I fucking hate you, Casey. I fucking

00:51:32.010 --> 00:51:33.730
hate you. You're a fucking scumbag. I fucking

00:51:33.730 --> 00:51:34.849
hate you. I don't know if vaginas go that high.

00:51:35.630 --> 00:51:39.590
I don't know if the pussy goes that high. Oh,

00:51:39.690 --> 00:51:41.610
this is hard because I don't know if he's fucking

00:51:41.610 --> 00:51:46.090
with us. Fuck. How much heroin did you do, Casey?

00:51:46.710 --> 00:51:49.570
Fuck. In a lot. I don't want to lose it. To look

00:51:49.570 --> 00:51:52.110
like that? Look at the fucking bags around your

00:51:52.110 --> 00:51:56.000
eyes. Wait, hold on. Hold on. I'm using my detector.

00:51:56.000 --> 00:51:59.739
I put on my detective hat. What's up? Okay, there's

00:51:59.739 --> 00:52:02.219
a fucking patch. There's a mark from a patch

00:52:02.219 --> 00:52:05.400
on his leg. Okay. Maybe that's a hormone patch.

00:52:06.159 --> 00:52:08.579
Or it's Nicorette. Hang on, hang on, hang on,

00:52:08.659 --> 00:52:13.570
Dan. You guys ever played L .A. Noire? Yes. Dan

00:52:13.570 --> 00:52:16.329
just pushed X. He did. He just pushed out. He

00:52:16.329 --> 00:52:19.090
just pushed out. He can't prove it wrong. He

00:52:19.090 --> 00:52:22.190
can't prove it right. But he doesn't think. Something's

00:52:22.190 --> 00:52:24.869
fishy. And he just pushed out. Hang on. Let me

00:52:24.869 --> 00:52:26.750
play the music. Those look like tranny tits.

00:52:26.889 --> 00:52:29.150
I'm going to say it's a tranny. He pushed X in

00:52:29.150 --> 00:52:32.309
your way. Those look like classic tranny tits.

00:52:32.409 --> 00:52:35.349
I mean, I wouldn't know, but. There's no face.

00:52:35.429 --> 00:52:37.769
Don't look like the thousands of tranny Ted Stans

00:52:37.769 --> 00:52:41.110
has seen. Ted thousands. Hundreds. Are you fucking

00:52:41.110 --> 00:52:42.730
with me? You talking about going on a tranny's

00:52:42.730 --> 00:52:45.070
going wild? I've been on it. It's like, dude,

00:52:45.110 --> 00:52:46.750
you don't get curious? Like, what are you fucking?

00:52:47.150 --> 00:52:50.309
No, but like, no, I do get curious. My curiosity

00:52:50.309 --> 00:52:53.349
was crackhead or crack whore confessions or whatever.

00:52:53.809 --> 00:52:57.349
God. Yours was tranny's going wild. Mine was

00:52:57.349 --> 00:53:01.349
clown porn. I'll tell you my thing, okay? I like.

00:53:01.690 --> 00:53:03.670
These are my things that turn me on. I like older

00:53:03.670 --> 00:53:06.469
women. Right. All right. And it comes from a

00:53:06.469 --> 00:53:09.329
respect thing. Right. I have respect for, for

00:53:09.329 --> 00:53:13.309
older women. Right. Listen, I like, I like women

00:53:13.309 --> 00:53:15.510
in uniform. I want you to agree with me. And

00:53:15.510 --> 00:53:17.789
dude, something when it, when a fucking smoking

00:53:17.789 --> 00:53:21.190
hot chick, I don't want to take it. That's kind

00:53:21.190 --> 00:53:23.449
of fucking cool. That gets you going. Yeah, dude.

00:53:23.570 --> 00:53:25.449
Cause it's like, I have a thing. Hang on. Listen,

00:53:25.550 --> 00:53:28.849
all those things. What are all those things have

00:53:28.849 --> 00:53:34.130
in common? Authority. Right? So you and Tyler

00:53:34.130 --> 00:53:37.750
are technically, you're in the same canoe. You're

00:53:37.750 --> 00:53:39.610
on one end, he's on the other. Because he loves

00:53:39.610 --> 00:53:42.130
to be dominated, too. Is that, I think it's,

00:53:42.130 --> 00:53:45.769
maybe it's got something to do with that. Look

00:53:45.769 --> 00:53:50.030
how fucked up he is, bro. No, I just wanted to

00:53:50.030 --> 00:53:53.469
make a joke. He's trying to drink with a big

00:53:53.469 --> 00:53:56.389
dog. He doesn't even have a full glass. So, I

00:53:56.389 --> 00:54:00.289
like older women. Women in uniform. Look at the

00:54:00.289 --> 00:54:03.239
picture. Alright, alright. No, just a little

00:54:03.239 --> 00:54:07.420
bit. That's good. No more. Give me some. What

00:54:07.420 --> 00:54:09.800
do you say? If there's anything left in that

00:54:09.800 --> 00:54:11.300
bottle, let me chug it. Wait, this is the picture?

00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:15.500
This is the fucking picture? Yeah, yeah. If there's

00:54:15.500 --> 00:54:17.059
anything left in that bottle, I want to chug

00:54:17.059 --> 00:54:20.019
it. That's a dude. That's a dude. That's why

00:54:20.019 --> 00:54:22.320
I said chug it. I'm thinking that's a dude. I

00:54:22.320 --> 00:54:24.260
didn't even hear what you guys said. Classic

00:54:24.260 --> 00:54:29.130
training tips. That has to be a dude. Ooh, those

00:54:29.130 --> 00:54:34.730
are big. Like puffy brown nipples. Not officially

00:54:34.730 --> 00:54:37.429
puffy. But what I will tell you, that patch.

00:54:37.750 --> 00:54:39.949
That looks like fake ones that were given to

00:54:39.949 --> 00:54:44.110
someone too. That's either a post. I think that's

00:54:44.110 --> 00:54:46.889
a post -rehab chick. Or a post -rehab picture,

00:54:47.050 --> 00:54:49.889
right? That's either a nicotine patch. Which

00:54:49.889 --> 00:54:53.130
is very likely. Or, yes, a fentanyl patch. Or

00:54:53.130 --> 00:54:58.679
a Suboxone. What did I back say? He said Tranny.

00:54:58.820 --> 00:55:02.059
Tranny. I said Tranny. Yeah, you said Tranny.

00:55:02.340 --> 00:55:07.380
Did I? Yeah, I did. Because the hair is going

00:55:07.380 --> 00:55:09.599
in the manjana. Yeah. That's not supposed to

00:55:09.599 --> 00:55:13.019
do that. No. The hand, very masculine. Yeah,

00:55:13.039 --> 00:55:15.840
I'm thinking that's a dude. Tyler, I think we

00:55:15.840 --> 00:55:18.179
might tie this. We might. I think we might just

00:55:18.179 --> 00:55:20.739
go perfect. We got two more. We got two more.

00:55:20.900 --> 00:55:22.559
I know, but I think we might go perfect. If that's

00:55:22.559 --> 00:55:24.980
a manjana, that's a hell of a manjana. They did

00:55:24.980 --> 00:55:26.820
a good job on it, but I still think it's a manjana.

00:55:26.960 --> 00:55:33.559
Wow. Why is there white watches in the vagina?

00:55:33.980 --> 00:55:36.300
You know what I mean? It's got crabs. I'm getting

00:55:36.300 --> 00:55:39.980
tranny vibes. Final answer. That's a post -op

00:55:39.980 --> 00:55:43.880
tranny. Switcheroo. Yep. Those are scars. Everybody

00:55:43.880 --> 00:55:46.179
said tranny. Everybody said tranny? That's right.

00:55:46.829 --> 00:55:50.210
All right. Yeah, baby. We're perfect. Do you

00:55:50.210 --> 00:55:51.650
have a picture? Why are we perfect? Do you have

00:55:51.650 --> 00:55:53.369
like an after picture or something? I got a pretty

00:55:53.369 --> 00:55:54.789
good one. Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on. I need

00:55:54.789 --> 00:55:57.230
everybody to lose. Is there a double Jeopardy?

00:55:57.230 --> 00:55:59.090
Or do I have to fuck these guys up? No, that's

00:55:59.090 --> 00:56:01.210
in Jeopardy. This is girl versus joke. So what

00:56:01.210 --> 00:56:03.170
I have to do is smash these guys' heads off the

00:56:03.170 --> 00:56:06.170
table. All right, Dan, coming to you for album

00:56:06.170 --> 00:56:14.510
number 10. Cheers, baby. December 5th. I don't

00:56:14.510 --> 00:56:18.809
recognize that name. I will say it. Ali, that

00:56:18.809 --> 00:56:20.710
wasn't fair. You could do half the beer. Oh,

00:56:20.710 --> 00:56:23.250
that's tough. I did. I had two mouthfuls of champagne.

00:56:23.250 --> 00:56:26.250
Where did you see a name? I did. I had two shit

00:56:26.250 --> 00:56:28.909
names, bitch. Wait, how many? We're kissing tonight.

00:56:29.030 --> 00:56:32.429
You're fucking four. I have a white cat. I have

00:56:32.429 --> 00:56:34.989
a lot of hair, bro. Dude, he told you I said

00:56:34.989 --> 00:56:37.710
hair. This is the first time I'm wearing an adjustable

00:56:37.710 --> 00:56:40.369
hat in forever. Where am I at? You're at two.

00:56:41.000 --> 00:56:42.719
Oh, I'm wearing a velcro. It looks like two,

00:56:42.719 --> 00:56:44.239
though. I would say that's two. Look at that.

00:56:44.320 --> 00:56:46.079
You'd say that's two? You'd say that's two? Where

00:56:46.079 --> 00:56:48.739
am I at? I'm over here wearing a fucking swastika

00:56:48.739 --> 00:56:50.880
hat. Oh, you've got a velcro hat? A swastika

00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:53.880
hat! Doesn't that look like two, though? Do you

00:56:53.880 --> 00:56:59.780
have, uh... No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Chill,

00:56:59.960 --> 00:57:01.639
chill. I'm going to put it on my head. This is

00:57:01.639 --> 00:57:03.739
the scientific research. This is what I got.

00:57:03.960 --> 00:57:07.360
Negative one. It's fucking hard. So this is a

00:57:07.360 --> 00:57:10.980
hard one. So this is bigger. I got a negative

00:57:10.980 --> 00:57:13.099
one. I got a negative one. Where is this hat

00:57:13.099 --> 00:57:16.980
at? This one's bigger. This is slightly bigger.

00:57:17.159 --> 00:57:18.960
She's got kind of some abs like a dude. I'm going

00:57:18.960 --> 00:57:21.880
to say this is a four and a half. And then her

00:57:21.880 --> 00:57:26.480
tits look pretty natural. I'm trying to read.

00:57:26.780 --> 00:57:28.699
Ali, put this hat on your head real quick. I'm

00:57:28.699 --> 00:57:33.119
trying to read. Don't take it off. This book

00:57:33.119 --> 00:57:37.599
is dedicated to Moenia. All right, let's see.

00:57:37.780 --> 00:57:39.239
It's a little bit snug. Yeah, but that fits.

00:57:39.300 --> 00:57:41.460
We're going to put a coin on this one. Gentlemen,

00:57:42.179 --> 00:57:43.460
the first one is... Gentlemen, Dan is flipping

00:57:43.460 --> 00:57:45.940
a coin on this one. He's doing an Alimax. Team

00:57:45.940 --> 00:57:50.860
USA. We're over here, headphones off, comparing

00:57:50.860 --> 00:57:54.980
hats. In case anyone was wondering, the introductory

00:57:54.980 --> 00:57:59.559
words to Melania and me are, grab him by the

00:57:59.559 --> 00:58:02.619
pussy. The sentence that reverberated around

00:58:02.619 --> 00:58:07.300
the world on October 7th. 2016. The quote was

00:58:07.300 --> 00:58:10.139
an excerpt from a recording that became forever

00:58:10.139 --> 00:58:15.179
known as the Access Hollywood. Because I carried

00:58:15.179 --> 00:58:18.400
all these guys. I carried every single one of

00:58:18.400 --> 00:58:23.519
these guys. You set the bar for them. Say it

00:58:23.519 --> 00:58:25.300
in the microphone, Tyler. Say it in the mic.

00:58:25.500 --> 00:58:31.880
That's a fucking woman. Tyler's this girl. No,

00:58:31.880 --> 00:58:33.719
but I think the real thing is who was the biggest

00:58:33.719 --> 00:58:37.059
dick? What do you mean? Here? Out of the five

00:58:37.059 --> 00:58:39.920
of us, yeah. Oh, out of the five. Casey? Casey,

00:58:39.980 --> 00:58:42.760
you have a hammer? Pull it out. They don't call

00:58:42.760 --> 00:58:45.420
him big cum for no reason. Casey, it's 100 episodes.

00:58:45.539 --> 00:58:49.179
Pull your fucking dick out. I genuinely think

00:58:49.179 --> 00:58:51.500
that I have like, I got like a six inch. No,

00:58:51.519 --> 00:58:54.219
you got a retard dick. I got a six inch. Probably

00:58:54.219 --> 00:58:56.909
bigger than that. Dan? Yo, it depends on how

00:58:56.909 --> 00:58:58.230
much I weigh. No, no, no, no, no, no. Are we

00:58:58.230 --> 00:59:00.369
talking hard or soft? Am I best? No, it's hard.

00:59:00.750 --> 00:59:02.409
What's going to penetrate the woman? That's too

00:59:02.409 --> 00:59:05.369
hard. But soft, I'm tiny. When I grow, it's soft.

00:59:05.590 --> 00:59:08.050
I'm inside of my body right now. Like, soft is

00:59:08.050 --> 00:59:12.550
soft. I'm small. I think that's a check. I think

00:59:12.550 --> 00:59:14.809
that's a check, too. Let's go. Let's go. None

00:59:14.809 --> 00:59:16.690
of you guys make... I'm going to send a check,

00:59:16.690 --> 00:59:20.170
too. Hang on. Hang on. I'm changing mine to check,

00:59:20.230 --> 00:59:22.579
Casey. None of you guys - Dan's changing it.

00:59:22.699 --> 00:59:25.260
Fuck you, Dan. No! Come on! You don't even see

00:59:25.260 --> 00:59:26.820
it, though! Dan thinks he can drink with a big

00:59:26.820 --> 00:59:28.960
dog. He's fucking yelling over it. Alright, Dan

00:59:28.960 --> 00:59:31.119
doesn't get to change it. Fuck that! I'm changing

00:59:31.119 --> 00:59:32.900
it! It's a chick! Chuck it in another - hang

00:59:32.900 --> 00:59:33.960
on, I gotta chuck it in another beer without

00:59:33.960 --> 00:59:35.820
you guys. Oh yeah, you little fucking little

00:59:35.820 --> 00:59:39.219
sippy cup. Oh, you're a fucking Berenstain Bears

00:59:39.219 --> 00:59:41.860
cup, alright? Anyways, let's fucking mail it

00:59:41.860 --> 00:59:48.539
in. What the fuck?! I just wanted to say, none

00:59:48.539 --> 00:59:53.820
of you guys make me hard. So my dick is inside

00:59:53.820 --> 00:59:58.159
of myself. Kyle, girl or tranny? Fuck, but that

00:59:58.159 --> 01:00:01.000
makes me hard. That girl right there makes me

01:00:01.000 --> 01:00:04.159
hard. That's a girl. Yeah, they all have, haven't

01:00:04.159 --> 01:00:05.949
they? You know what, I'm sticking with my answer,

01:00:06.030 --> 01:00:08.610
just in case. Dude. You're going tranny. Tranny.

01:00:08.690 --> 01:00:10.030
That's a dude, cause look at the - That's a girl.

01:00:10.130 --> 01:00:12.130
No, but look at the way the abs cut in. I said

01:00:12.130 --> 01:00:13.949
that, I said that. No, I think the abs are feminine

01:00:13.949 --> 01:00:16.230
abs. Fuck you, the feminine abs. I'm going, Kyle,

01:00:16.389 --> 01:00:17.989
me and Kyle are in the same boat. Yeah, give

01:00:17.989 --> 01:00:20.829
me some love. Fucking beer on my phone. There

01:00:20.829 --> 01:00:24.369
it is. I did smell beer. I smelled beer all over

01:00:24.369 --> 01:00:26.090
your phone. I wouldn't touch that tranny with

01:00:26.090 --> 01:00:28.769
a 10 -foot pole. Dan and Kyle say tranny. The

01:00:28.769 --> 01:00:33.550
correct answer was a tranny. Oh! Yeah! Fucking

01:00:33.550 --> 01:00:36.880
game! Oh! No, my fucking hands. That's because

01:00:36.880 --> 01:00:39.599
his fucking hands are cutting in. And you guys

01:00:39.599 --> 01:00:43.980
both want to suck her fucking dick. Faggot. Faggot.

01:00:44.440 --> 01:00:47.920
Faggot. Faggot. Casey's a faggot. Casey's a real

01:00:47.920 --> 01:00:50.780
big faggot. But you guys are faggots too. Me

01:00:50.780 --> 01:00:54.500
and Dan, I'm really straight. I'm really straight.

01:00:54.659 --> 01:00:57.000
But Dan, he's half straight. He's half straight.

01:00:57.039 --> 01:00:59.519
He loves training. He's going wild. I don't want

01:00:59.519 --> 01:01:01.539
him to crack head. I don't want him to explode.

01:01:01.840 --> 01:01:04.199
No, no, no, no, Dan, please. We hit a fucking,

01:01:04.340 --> 01:01:06.539
the final fork in the road. And it was either

01:01:06.539 --> 01:01:09.599
crackhead fucking confessions, crack whore confessions,

01:01:09.719 --> 01:01:12.059
or trainees gone wild. You just went separate

01:01:12.059 --> 01:01:14.300
ways. You went the wrong way, bro. You went the

01:01:14.300 --> 01:01:16.579
wrong way. Dude, I feel like if you take it out,

01:01:16.679 --> 01:01:19.219
I feel like if you take advantage of people for

01:01:19.219 --> 01:01:22.059
drugs, that's pretty fucking bad. But it makes

01:01:22.059 --> 01:01:24.519
me so horny, bro. I just, I want to see a girl.

01:01:24.519 --> 01:01:27.079
I could blow a load through the wall over there

01:01:27.079 --> 01:01:30.119
on the other side of the road. But dude, you

01:01:30.119 --> 01:01:31.639
don't think there's something hot where you think

01:01:31.639 --> 01:01:33.300
it's a real hot girl and then all of a sudden,

01:01:33.480 --> 01:01:36.840
She pulls out a hammer and it's like, whoa! There's

01:01:36.840 --> 01:01:38.840
something hot about the fact that you're taking

01:01:38.840 --> 01:01:42.559
advantage of a crack whore. She's sucking dick

01:01:42.559 --> 01:01:46.659
for crack! She's sucking dick for crack! She

01:01:46.659 --> 01:01:49.079
probably dies two weeks after the video. Now

01:01:49.079 --> 01:01:50.699
I know why you're going to school for what you're

01:01:50.699 --> 01:02:19.860
going to school for. He took me off there! He

01:02:19.860 --> 01:02:23.019
took me off there! I'm trying to read! I'm trying

01:02:23.019 --> 01:02:28.960
to read Melania and Trump! You guys need to chill

01:02:28.960 --> 01:02:33.929
out. Wait, are we on the air? I'm sorry. Me and

01:02:33.929 --> 01:02:36.469
Ally Mac giving you fucking fright. Me and Ally

01:02:36.469 --> 01:02:38.650
Mac giving you guys fright. Did we scare you?

01:02:38.650 --> 01:02:41.090
I'm sorry. Are the pussies scared? Are the pussies

01:02:41.090 --> 01:02:43.909
scared? Is your little podcast going to get fucking

01:02:43.909 --> 01:02:47.010
canceled? I'm sorry. I carried this car. I'm

01:02:47.010 --> 01:02:49.269
a professional fucking comedian. I'm carrying

01:02:49.269 --> 01:02:52.010
this fucking podcast. Let's reel it in, boys.

01:02:52.150 --> 01:02:55.789
We're playing fucking tomboy versus trainee,

01:02:56.110 --> 01:02:58.909
okay? Let's just fucking reel it in. All right.

01:02:58.949 --> 01:03:02.090
Here's the deal. Dan's got seven. Kyle's got

01:03:02.090 --> 01:03:06.309
7, Tyler's got 8, Alibach's got 8. Dude, so it's

01:03:06.309 --> 01:03:10.130
7, 7, 8, 8? Okay. The last one, here we go, Dan.

01:03:10.150 --> 01:03:12.550
So, what I gotta do is smash Tyler's head off

01:03:12.550 --> 01:03:16.230
the table. If me and Alibach get it wrong, then

01:03:16.230 --> 01:03:17.929
you guys can tie it. Make Alibach chug two more

01:03:17.929 --> 01:03:20.730
beers, he passes out. Then me and Dan, it's mano

01:03:20.730 --> 01:03:24.329
a mano. It's me and Dan, mano a mano. Yeah, that's

01:03:24.329 --> 01:03:28.769
what you think, bitch. Fuck you, steal my best

01:03:28.769 --> 01:03:31.070
friend. Fuck you. I fucking hate you. You fat

01:03:31.070 --> 01:03:33.949
fuck. You fat fuck, steal my best friend. Sean

01:03:33.949 --> 01:03:36.650
O, Sean O, I'm still right here. I love you.

01:03:36.730 --> 01:03:39.030
I love you. You stole my best friend. Why are

01:03:39.030 --> 01:03:40.690
you like humping the air while doing that? That's

01:03:40.690 --> 01:03:45.010
real weird. I can't say everyone. Fuck Sean O.

01:03:45.110 --> 01:03:48.030
All I'm saying is I hate it. I'm just saying.

01:03:48.150 --> 01:03:52.349
You guys never should. You're going. Bro, that's

01:03:52.349 --> 01:03:54.429
what I'm telling you. You're fucked up, bro.

01:03:54.449 --> 01:03:57.150
You can't sit still. Your eyes are bloodshot

01:03:57.150 --> 01:03:59.449
of shit. You're fucked up. That's the best part.

01:04:00.010 --> 01:04:02.090
You've been smoking the puffer too, bro. It's

01:04:02.090 --> 01:04:04.130
fucking you up. That's the best part is you think

01:04:04.130 --> 01:04:07.150
I'm fucked up. You think I'm fucked up. Oh, you're

01:04:07.150 --> 01:04:09.920
just getting into it. Are we going to have to

01:04:09.920 --> 01:04:11.840
settle these boys down? I don't fucking know.

01:04:12.000 --> 01:04:14.260
Me and Allie Mac are here. Now you won't. You

01:04:14.260 --> 01:04:16.719
won't have to settle shit down. I fucking love

01:04:16.719 --> 01:04:18.860
Allie Mac. This bitch ain't ever done nothing

01:04:18.860 --> 01:04:21.619
before. I fucking love Allie Mac, all right?

01:04:21.639 --> 01:04:23.760
Me and Allie Mac, we've been through it together.

01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:26.199
Make out, dude. Yeah, that's why Sean and I wanted

01:04:26.199 --> 01:04:28.820
to fuck me in the ass instead of you. Oh, that's

01:04:28.820 --> 01:04:31.380
how it goes. How in his big fucking dick. He

01:04:31.380 --> 01:04:36.599
would have torn your ass apart, bitch. We're

01:04:36.599 --> 01:04:38.920
ruining the podcast. We're ruining the podcast.

01:04:39.880 --> 01:04:43.659
That's a check. That's a check. I don't even

01:04:43.659 --> 01:04:46.719
have that, bitch. I don't even have full glass.

01:04:48.639 --> 01:04:51.280
That's glass, bro. I forgot to steal glass. You're

01:04:51.280 --> 01:04:53.519
not bringing another fucking sippy cup, all right?

01:04:53.659 --> 01:04:56.400
Queen Elizabeth would be displeased with that

01:04:56.400 --> 01:04:59.019
bullshit. Fuck Queen Elizabeth. Lizzie's in a

01:04:59.019 --> 01:05:03.920
box. Lizzie's in a box. Oh, Lizzie's in a box.

01:05:05.419 --> 01:05:08.079
Anyways, I told these guys to fucking up the

01:05:08.079 --> 01:05:10.500
rock first off up the rock up the rock. Can I

01:05:10.500 --> 01:05:17.539
get it up the rock? Can I get it up the rock?

01:05:18.940 --> 01:05:21.360
Thank you. Anyways, I told these guys there's

01:05:21.360 --> 01:05:23.940
four guys here other than me I said remind me

01:05:23.940 --> 01:05:26.059
to steal a pint glass from the bar and we went

01:05:26.059 --> 01:05:28.639
to dinner from It was a nice place. That guy

01:05:28.639 --> 01:05:30.659
was cool. You just kept saying, alright, sweetie.

01:05:30.900 --> 01:05:33.480
I called him sweetheart. You called us. This

01:05:33.480 --> 01:05:36.760
was like an 18 -year -old kid. It was a 17 -year

01:05:36.760 --> 01:05:39.360
-old little boy. And fucking Tyler was like,

01:05:39.519 --> 01:05:41.659
we're gonna get two child grilled cheeses and

01:05:41.659 --> 01:05:43.539
a mac cheese and a french fry. And I'm like,

01:05:43.659 --> 01:05:46.340
hey, have a good day, sweetheart. Fucking hell,

01:05:46.420 --> 01:05:48.440
I'm the asshole. Tyler says girl. What did you

01:05:48.440 --> 01:05:51.840
say, Dan? Girl. Girl. Alright, Mac. You wanna

01:05:51.840 --> 01:05:55.860
keep going along with that? We might have to

01:05:55.860 --> 01:05:57.840
hit a break after this game. We're going to.

01:05:57.960 --> 01:06:01.440
We're losing. We're going to. Casey's like, we're

01:06:01.440 --> 01:06:04.980
going to. We lost Dan. Me and Allie Mac are having

01:06:04.980 --> 01:06:07.860
a feud. That's a check. You look like Dr. Phil's

01:06:07.860 --> 01:06:10.679
fucking heroin addict brother. Hey, Allie Mac,

01:06:10.840 --> 01:06:13.619
no matter what happens, we're tied. I gotta take

01:06:13.619 --> 01:06:15.420
a piss. No matter what happens, we're tied. Dan's

01:06:15.420 --> 01:06:18.500
gotta take a piss. She's fat. Go ahead, Dan.

01:06:18.659 --> 01:06:20.280
I think it's a chick. She's fat. It's a chick.

01:06:20.340 --> 01:06:22.139
I think it's a chick. I think it's a, I think

01:06:22.139 --> 01:06:23.719
it's a, I think it's a, a current. Hey, Dan,

01:06:23.880 --> 01:06:26.739
what did you say? He said chick. We all said

01:06:26.739 --> 01:06:29.360
chick. You guys all said chick. Yeah. You all

01:06:29.360 --> 01:06:33.559
said chick. They all said chick. In the faith

01:06:33.559 --> 01:06:37.840
of the game. I'm down a point to these two. You

01:06:37.840 --> 01:06:40.000
can either tie us or you. I'm down with, you

01:06:40.000 --> 01:06:41.920
know. You can either tie us or lose. I'm going

01:06:41.920 --> 01:06:44.739
for a Hail Mary. Uh -huh. I'm Tom Brady. Call

01:06:44.739 --> 01:06:46.659
me Tom Brady. So either it's a three -way tie.

01:06:46.800 --> 01:06:50.639
Shut the fuck up, Tyler. Call me Tom Brady. Are

01:06:50.639 --> 01:06:52.880
you a fucking Pats fan? No, I'm not, but call

01:06:52.880 --> 01:06:57.219
me Tom Brady. Call me Tom Brady. You're Tom Brady.

01:06:58.099 --> 01:07:04.199
This one is a transvestite. Well, Kyle's the

01:07:04.199 --> 01:07:06.280
only one that said transvestite. Because I'm

01:07:06.280 --> 01:07:08.400
Tom Brady. These guys are Peyton Manning. The

01:07:08.400 --> 01:07:26.099
correct answer is it's a tranny. It's a three

01:07:26.099 --> 01:07:30.380
-way tie. Who's the big dog? Who's the big fucking

01:07:30.380 --> 01:07:34.440
dog? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me who's the big

01:07:34.440 --> 01:07:42.090
fucking dog. Don't call it a comeback. Are we,

01:07:42.090 --> 01:07:44.050
uh... We're gonna go... We're gonna go do, uh,

01:07:44.170 --> 01:07:46.989
uh, some death. We're getting a fucking go -hut

01:07:46.989 --> 01:07:50.409
on ghosts, bitch. You missed it. I just Tom Brady'd

01:07:50.409 --> 01:07:52.630
it. I literally... I had... I didn't even look

01:07:52.630 --> 01:07:54.829
at the picture. Yeah. You guys all said girl,

01:07:54.929 --> 01:07:56.869
and I said, you know what? I'm tied with you.

01:07:57.050 --> 01:07:58.889
I'm down by a point with these guys. I said,

01:07:58.909 --> 01:08:02.210
you know what? Hail Mary. Tranny. Damn. And it

01:08:02.210 --> 01:08:05.179
turned out to be a tranny. This one, uh... This

01:08:05.179 --> 01:08:08.320
one, Dan, you're out because you got less than

01:08:08.320 --> 01:08:12.079
them. I'm out? You're last. You have seven. We

01:08:12.079 --> 01:08:14.199
all have eight. Three -way tie. We're going to

01:08:14.199 --> 01:08:16.899
go. Whoever gets this one wins. No matter. No,

01:08:16.920 --> 01:08:18.960
no, no. Start with Ally Mac. Even if it's a tie.

01:08:19.060 --> 01:08:21.060
I just want to see it anyway. Hang on. Hang on.

01:08:21.100 --> 01:08:24.579
Hang on. No, no, no. Ally Mac, Tyler, me. No,

01:08:24.760 --> 01:08:27.039
we're fucking the order up. It's fair. It's fair,

01:08:27.140 --> 01:08:31.409
right? It started with me. Let me see. I get

01:08:31.409 --> 01:08:34.369
it right. Let Dan see it. Let Dan see it because

01:08:34.369 --> 01:08:36.229
he's out. He's out. I want to see it just for,

01:08:36.229 --> 01:08:38.289
you know, research. Don't make a guess, though.

01:08:38.390 --> 01:08:39.989
Don't make a guess. Yeah, don't say shit. Don't

01:08:39.989 --> 01:08:42.430
say shit. Don't bias me. Don't bias me. Dan,

01:08:42.430 --> 01:08:43.949
when the three of us have made our guess, you

01:08:43.949 --> 01:08:48.310
make your guess. I don't care what it is. Why

01:08:48.310 --> 01:08:49.829
am I outproducing this show? I don't care what

01:08:49.829 --> 01:08:52.609
it is. Why am I outproducing this show? It's

01:08:52.609 --> 01:08:54.449
getting my seed. I'm outproducing this show.

01:08:55.069 --> 01:09:01.409
You're what? Casey. Pull up a... We'll pull up

01:09:01.409 --> 01:09:03.550
all your porn hub on break, all right? Pull up

01:09:03.550 --> 01:09:10.409
backroom facials. It's one of my favorite...

01:09:10.409 --> 01:09:13.470
Actually, my favorite shape is brand new amateurs.

01:09:13.869 --> 01:09:20.250
Pull up a Paisley 5 '9", brand new amateurs swallowing.

01:09:21.430 --> 01:09:23.409
Dude, shut the fuck up. One of my favorites.

01:09:26.470 --> 01:09:29.850
I like hentai. That's what I like. I think that's

01:09:29.850 --> 01:09:35.329
a chick. Who's it going to? It's a chick. I think

01:09:35.329 --> 01:09:39.189
that's a chick, dude. I mean, it's only fair.

01:09:39.510 --> 01:09:42.850
It's only me, then you. Dude, it's such a 50

01:09:42.850 --> 01:09:45.930
-50. I'm not going to lie. Is it bad? It's bad.

01:09:45.949 --> 01:09:51.569
That's a chick. That's a chick. That's only a

01:09:51.569 --> 01:09:55.899
face. Oh, there's tits. You guys will set check?

01:09:56.039 --> 01:10:01.539
Yeah. Again. Tom Brady. Who am I? Who am I? Tom

01:10:01.539 --> 01:10:06.979
Brady? Tranny. Kyle says Tranny. All right, final

01:10:06.979 --> 01:10:12.480
answer. That would be a girl. Oh, fuck. I'll

01:10:12.480 --> 01:10:15.460
take it. Hang on. Hang on. I have a tiebreaker.

01:10:15.539 --> 01:10:18.100
I have a tiebreaker. You were in his house. I

01:10:18.100 --> 01:10:22.979
have a tiebreaker for these two. Fables, 69,

01:10:23.180 --> 01:10:26.220
suck each other's dick. First person to come

01:10:26.220 --> 01:10:29.199
wins. First person to come wins. Tyler and Ally

01:10:29.199 --> 01:10:33.680
Mack both win. What a world. What a world. You

01:10:33.680 --> 01:10:36.319
never thought you'd see it. You never thought

01:10:36.319 --> 01:10:39.689
you'd see it. Listen. It's the 100th episode.

01:10:39.909 --> 01:10:44.510
Anything can happen, right? Me and Tyler. I always

01:10:44.510 --> 01:10:49.010
root for Allie Mack. All right. We're going to

01:10:49.010 --> 01:10:52.869
take a break. We'll be back. All of you see me

01:10:52.869 --> 01:10:55.350
at Comedy Works next Saturday. I'm also going

01:10:55.350 --> 01:10:58.829
to be in Rensselaer at the Tea and the Horn.

01:10:58.989 --> 01:11:02.260
It's down in Rensselaer and in Troy. At the steaming

01:11:02.260 --> 01:11:05.000
kettle. Yeah, he's looking for hecklers. On Wednesday.

01:11:05.439 --> 01:11:07.619
What day is it? Wednesday? Every day of the week,

01:11:07.680 --> 01:11:10.000
I'm on an open mic. You can find me. Follow the

01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:13.239
Albany comedy, whatever. I don't know. I'll come

01:11:13.239 --> 01:11:16.260
see you next week. Just come find me. Nobody

01:11:16.260 --> 01:11:18.899
wants me to open for them. I'm too fucked up.

01:11:19.479 --> 01:11:21.560
I think I'm going to start the next segment with

01:11:21.560 --> 01:11:23.600
my newest bit, and it's going to be good. You

01:11:23.600 --> 01:11:24.939
guys are going to laugh, or you're going to hate

01:11:24.939 --> 01:11:27.520
me. All right? I love all of you. We love hecklers.

01:11:27.699 --> 01:11:29.020
All right, we'll be back. Just make sure he comes.

01:11:29.579 --> 01:11:55.029
I'm fine with that. We just have like a two hour

01:11:55.029 --> 01:12:23.579
long fucking tangent. I look up I see you and

01:12:23.579 --> 01:12:25.500
I look back down at my feet because when I'm

01:12:25.789 --> 01:12:27.810
Drinking and fat. I got to look at my feet and

01:12:27.810 --> 01:12:30.430
make sure I don't fall down. And then I look

01:12:30.430 --> 01:12:32.970
back up. You're gone. Right, right. I look back

01:12:32.970 --> 01:12:35.909
up and you're gone. And then Tyler Casey's like,

01:12:36.029 --> 01:12:38.850
where's Allie Mac? And I'm like, he was just

01:12:38.850 --> 01:12:41.390
literally right there. We were talking to Casey.

01:12:41.710 --> 01:12:44.569
Maybe Allie Mac didn't give a fuck anymore. Maybe

01:12:44.569 --> 01:12:47.149
Allie Mac was going fucking rogue. That's what

01:12:47.149 --> 01:12:49.250
I said. We were on the second floor of the fucking

01:12:49.250 --> 01:12:51.029
parking garage. I said, maybe Allie Mac jumped

01:12:51.029 --> 01:12:52.710
off after he realized he couldn't drink with

01:12:52.710 --> 01:12:59.489
the big dog. You fucking wish, bitch. You fucking

01:12:59.489 --> 01:13:03.210
wish. Put them up. Put them up. Yeah, you and

01:13:03.210 --> 01:13:05.649
your little fucking sippy cup. Yeah, sure, I'll

01:13:05.649 --> 01:13:07.789
put a fucking nipple on that half a pint glass,

01:13:07.930 --> 01:13:11.630
bitch. Oh, yeah. I got something that you guys

01:13:11.630 --> 01:13:13.970
can roast me with here. Just take a look at that

01:13:13.970 --> 01:13:17.859
again. This is Tyler's college ID. Buffy the

01:13:17.859 --> 01:13:20.560
Vampire Slayer. Tyler's college ID where he looks

01:13:20.560 --> 01:13:23.699
like a school shooter. It literally looks like

01:13:23.699 --> 01:13:26.279
a jail fucker. I literally told him he looked

01:13:26.279 --> 01:13:30.600
like Columbine. He legitimately in that picture

01:13:30.600 --> 01:13:32.939
looks like Peter Ellis. A little bit. Yeah, he

01:13:32.939 --> 01:13:34.579
does. I went to high school with him. Yeah, well,

01:13:34.640 --> 01:13:36.539
you guys look the same. And I bet you guys have

01:13:36.539 --> 01:13:38.420
the same fucking picture. I'm going to hit this

01:13:38.420 --> 01:13:41.460
fucking, whatever, smell or salts again. Smelling

01:13:41.460 --> 01:13:45.779
salts. Tyler, we're here at the, uh, Hotel Saranac.

01:13:45.800 --> 01:13:47.939
We haven't seen any fucking spooky shit lately.

01:13:48.300 --> 01:13:52.819
Uh, at my house, actually, yeah. Oh, fuck! On

01:13:52.819 --> 01:14:00.199
my, uh... Oh, my God! His nose is red. His nose

01:14:00.199 --> 01:14:03.340
is red. I took a half a nostril, and he took

01:14:03.340 --> 01:14:06.579
three hits. Fuck you, Allie, man! Fuck you, you

01:14:06.579 --> 01:14:10.079
think you're better than me! What?! Fuck you!

01:14:10.810 --> 01:14:13.170
Fuck you. So I did see some spooky shit, but

01:14:13.170 --> 01:14:15.829
I heard it on my ring camera. When I wasn't home,

01:14:15.989 --> 01:14:17.710
I was just hearing voices on my ring camera.

01:14:17.750 --> 01:14:21.409
Like someone was in my house and like I, my downstairs

01:14:21.409 --> 01:14:23.869
neighbor moved out, I think two or three weeks

01:14:23.869 --> 01:14:27.109
ago. And like my, my wife wasn't home. I wasn't

01:14:27.109 --> 01:14:29.130
home. And all of a sudden we're on the second

01:14:29.130 --> 01:14:30.670
floor, by the way, we're on the second floor.

01:14:30.750 --> 01:14:33.489
I was just hearing like, am I ring camera? I'm

01:14:33.489 --> 01:14:41.399
hearing. I'm like, sounds like wind. No, but

01:14:41.399 --> 01:14:46.739
like, like, and then you would hear like, Oh

01:14:46.739 --> 01:14:48.800
shit. I'm like, what the fuck is that? And I

01:14:48.800 --> 01:14:54.039
was, I'm like, and then I showed my wife that

01:14:54.039 --> 01:14:56.039
I'm like, do you, do you hear like someone like

01:14:56.039 --> 01:14:58.479
whispering there? And she's like, yeah, but I'm

01:14:58.479 --> 01:15:00.380
like my ring camera. Like I just hear whispering

01:15:00.380 --> 01:15:03.039
sometimes when I'm not there. When, when, when

01:15:03.039 --> 01:15:06.670
do you decide that enough's enough? Like, just

01:15:06.670 --> 01:15:10.390
fucking stop. Stop. Just fucking stop. Fucking

01:15:10.390 --> 01:15:14.109
stop. You're not Led Zeppelin. Stop fucking with...

01:15:14.109 --> 01:15:16.500
You don't know about Led Zeppelin? I know of

01:15:16.500 --> 01:15:17.680
that. That's the one that... Yeah, but they fucked

01:15:17.680 --> 01:15:19.779
with Aleister Crowley's show? Yeah. Did you hear

01:15:19.779 --> 01:15:22.000
about the fucking... I think it was Zeppelin

01:15:22.000 --> 01:15:24.979
3. They wrote it in Aleister Crowley's house.

01:15:25.119 --> 01:15:27.220
They recorded it in Aleister Crowley's house.

01:15:27.340 --> 01:15:31.399
They made a movie about Studio 666. I don't know

01:15:31.399 --> 01:15:33.520
if the number of the actual studio was 666, but

01:15:33.520 --> 01:15:35.640
the movie was that. Well, actually, tonight,

01:15:35.800 --> 01:15:37.539
when we're all... Wow, me and Ali Mac are going

01:15:37.539 --> 01:15:39.479
to be good and drunk. You faggots don't want

01:15:39.479 --> 01:15:42.779
to... Slow jar. We'll watch Songer Made the Same.

01:15:43.579 --> 01:15:47.770
There you go. I'm drinking. Oh, Casey's drinking!

01:15:48.569 --> 01:15:55.369
Cheers, baby! Cheers! Dan's drinking decaf tea.

01:15:56.010 --> 01:15:59.779
You're fucking handsome. Thank you. I've never

01:15:59.779 --> 01:16:02.979
seen him do that before. I'm going to fuck the

01:16:02.979 --> 01:16:05.220
shit out of Dan. You don't have to give me real

01:16:05.220 --> 01:16:08.779
liquor. Put a wig on. Let's keep going, man.

01:16:09.180 --> 01:16:15.560
Let's keep going, man. But as I was saying, there's

01:16:15.560 --> 01:16:18.319
three bands that went to this certain studio,

01:16:18.560 --> 01:16:21.220
and the movie was about that. I think it was

01:16:21.220 --> 01:16:23.819
Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and I don't remember

01:16:23.819 --> 01:16:25.520
the other ones. I think even the Foo Fighters.

01:16:25.659 --> 01:16:27.479
No, I think it was the Yardbirds. But, like,

01:16:27.500 --> 01:16:29.619
they all went to this one studio. The Foo Fighters,

01:16:29.659 --> 01:16:32.199
bro. No, I thought Kurt Cobain had to whack himself

01:16:32.199 --> 01:16:36.760
first. No. You keep his name on your mouth. I'm

01:16:36.760 --> 01:16:38.619
just being honest. Keep his fucking name on your

01:16:38.619 --> 01:16:39.800
mouth. I'm just being honest. I'm talking about

01:16:39.800 --> 01:16:42.449
band history. Because Courtney killed Kurt. I

01:16:42.449 --> 01:16:45.729
agree. I agree. I agree, but that had to happen.

01:16:45.729 --> 01:16:48.069
I'm glad to be around like -minded men. They

01:16:48.069 --> 01:16:51.850
recorded in this haunted studio, and even on

01:16:51.850 --> 01:16:54.449
the recordings, you can hear weird shit in the

01:16:54.449 --> 01:16:56.369
background. Well, that's the thing. With Zeppelin,

01:16:56.510 --> 01:16:58.829
like Jimmy Page, a lot of people say that the

01:16:58.829 --> 01:17:01.569
reason why he was so good at guitar is because

01:17:01.569 --> 01:17:04.149
he tapped into something through Crowley. Yeah,

01:17:04.210 --> 01:17:06.069
there's a... Because if you look at... Do you

01:17:06.069 --> 01:17:09.729
know the Yardbirds? Yeah, Jimmy Page was on the

01:17:09.729 --> 01:17:12.500
Yardbirds. Apologize. Because I'm drunk. Yeah.

01:17:12.979 --> 01:17:15.159
Not that drunk. I've only had, what, one, two,

01:17:15.180 --> 01:17:18.859
three, four, five. There's six over there. You're

01:17:18.859 --> 01:17:22.000
a little drunk. I'm at 11 beers and a half of

01:17:22.000 --> 01:17:24.140
fucking champagne. Welcome to the club, baby.

01:17:25.039 --> 01:17:28.140
Jimmy Page was in the Yardbirds. So the Yardbirds,

01:17:28.239 --> 01:17:31.960
I believe, was Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton.

01:17:32.079 --> 01:17:34.689
Yeah. And then I don't. Those are the guitarists

01:17:34.689 --> 01:17:35.989
that I know. Those are the main ones, yeah. And

01:17:35.989 --> 01:17:37.609
I don't remember the lead singer or all that.

01:17:37.689 --> 01:17:40.210
They were the main parts. Eric Clapton obviously

01:17:40.210 --> 01:17:41.390
went on to have a good time. Wasn't John Morrison

01:17:41.390 --> 01:17:44.430
in that band? No, no. No, he was in... John Morrison

01:17:44.430 --> 01:17:48.069
was in fucking... The Doors. No, well, he was

01:17:48.069 --> 01:17:50.310
obviously in The Doors, Casey. Thank you. Thank

01:17:50.310 --> 01:17:53.609
you. And it's not John Morrison. It's Jim Morrison.

01:17:53.670 --> 01:17:55.510
But yeah, no, he was in something different.

01:17:55.729 --> 01:17:57.970
Oh, yeah, it was Jim. He did like a solo project.

01:17:57.970 --> 01:18:00.250
I will tell you, Adam, my voice is a mixture

01:18:00.250 --> 01:18:03.939
of probably Jim. Von Morrison, Eddie Vedder,

01:18:04.060 --> 01:18:06.020
and maybe a little bit of Chris Cornell. But

01:18:06.020 --> 01:18:10.619
anyways, on to my point is the two least good

01:18:10.619 --> 01:18:13.939
guitarists in that band became famous. Where

01:18:13.939 --> 01:18:15.880
the best guitarist didn't do anything. Who's

01:18:15.880 --> 01:18:18.399
the best? The best guitarist is Jeff Beck. Listen

01:18:18.399 --> 01:18:21.880
to any guitarist talk and they will tell you

01:18:21.880 --> 01:18:26.180
that Jeff... No. Jeff Beck didn't... He didn't

01:18:26.180 --> 01:18:30.859
want fame. But if you like... You talk to any

01:18:30.859 --> 01:18:33.119
good guitarist, like, you know, interviews or

01:18:33.119 --> 01:18:35.840
whatever, he was the best, right? But they always

01:18:35.840 --> 01:18:38.119
say that Eric Clapton and Jimmy Page fucked around

01:18:38.119 --> 01:18:40.939
with Crowley quite a bit. Quite a bit. Probably.

01:18:41.220 --> 01:18:44.300
Clapton went out to do his thing, right? And

01:18:44.300 --> 01:18:47.960
Jimmy Page became a god, as we know. But Jeff

01:18:47.960 --> 01:18:50.260
Beck didn't. And something tells me maybe Jeff

01:18:50.260 --> 01:18:52.060
Beck said, you know, I'm not selling my soul.

01:18:52.939 --> 01:18:55.279
I'm the best guitarist, but I'm not doing it.

01:18:55.359 --> 01:18:58.979
But he also didn't have that. Je ne sais quoi.

01:18:59.119 --> 01:19:01.979
I don't want to call it a drive, but he was like,

01:19:02.039 --> 01:19:07.180
I don't want to be famous. But he was the best.

01:19:08.140 --> 01:19:11.539
There's a whole thing with that, especially with

01:19:11.539 --> 01:19:16.680
guitarists and musicians. There's a whole kiss

01:19:16.680 --> 01:19:20.300
the ring culture, too. Not even just like that.

01:19:20.420 --> 01:19:22.520
There's a whole kiss the ring culture. With that

01:19:22.520 --> 01:19:24.859
era, too. The 60s and the 70s. And if you didn't

01:19:24.859 --> 01:19:27.729
kiss the ring. Like, whatever that ring was.

01:19:28.069 --> 01:19:29.829
It was the ring. Yeah. Right. But if you didn't

01:19:29.829 --> 01:19:32.829
kiss that ring, you weren't getting there. It

01:19:32.829 --> 01:19:35.390
was the Jews. I also think that there's a darker

01:19:35.390 --> 01:19:38.350
power, that there still is a darker power. Thanks.

01:19:38.750 --> 01:19:44.750
The Jews are the darker. But, like, I do think

01:19:44.750 --> 01:19:46.609
that, like, there is, like, an actual, like,

01:19:46.630 --> 01:19:50.149
supernatural dark power, like, that has influence

01:19:50.149 --> 01:19:52.489
over, like, Hollywood and the music industry.

01:19:52.609 --> 01:19:55.800
I'll tell you that, like. I'm not a good musician.

01:19:56.260 --> 01:19:59.159
I just sing. That's all I can do. I can play

01:19:59.159 --> 01:20:01.399
every instrument. Not good, but I can sing pretty

01:20:01.399 --> 01:20:07.079
well. But having a guitarist is phenomenal. Steve.

01:20:07.279 --> 01:20:11.500
Stevie Steve. He was the same way. He dabbled

01:20:11.500 --> 01:20:14.659
in that Crowley shit. I've watched him do the

01:20:14.659 --> 01:20:19.119
fucking weird pentagram rituals and shit. When

01:20:19.119 --> 01:20:22.020
he shreds on the guitar, he's almost in a fucking

01:20:22.020 --> 01:20:25.539
trance. Like, in another world. And you can't

01:20:25.539 --> 01:20:26.979
talk to him. You can't stop him. You can't talk

01:20:26.979 --> 01:20:28.899
to him. And then he comes out of it a day later.

01:20:28.939 --> 01:20:30.800
He's like, I don't remember what I did last night.

01:20:30.920 --> 01:20:32.560
Yeah. And he did some of the best things you've

01:20:32.560 --> 01:20:35.180
ever heard. Like, some of these guys, like, maybe

01:20:35.180 --> 01:20:36.539
that's what, you know what I mean? Like, there

01:20:36.539 --> 01:20:39.960
is something supernatural there. So, there's

01:20:39.960 --> 01:20:44.479
a theory that music is a form of worship. Here

01:20:44.479 --> 01:20:48.579
we go. The devil met me at the crossroads. No,

01:20:48.659 --> 01:20:54.439
I think there is something supernatural. What's

01:20:54.439 --> 01:20:57.880
the megahertz that we live at? I think it's 420,

01:20:58.000 --> 01:21:02.180
425. Music is like 452 or something. I thought

01:21:02.180 --> 01:21:05.840
it was 480. It's higher vibrations. Actually,

01:21:06.319 --> 01:21:08.720
I didn't get to finish this theory that I have

01:21:08.720 --> 01:21:10.260
with you. Yeah, you got a phone call. Yeah, so

01:21:10.260 --> 01:21:13.520
I believe that... There's different beings that

01:21:13.520 --> 01:21:16.399
can see at different vibrations, right? And we

01:21:16.399 --> 01:21:18.460
live at, say, you know, I don't know the numbers,

01:21:18.560 --> 01:21:21.220
but for easy math, say we live at 420, right?

01:21:21.439 --> 01:21:25.720
We all see 420. We feel pretty good at 452. When

01:21:25.720 --> 01:21:28.739
we listen to music, a lot of it's 452. Yo, me

01:21:28.739 --> 01:21:33.199
and Allie Mac are seeing 420. But, like, we feel

01:21:33.199 --> 01:21:35.199
pretty good at 452. Bring that John over here,

01:21:35.340 --> 01:21:38.989
baby. We feel pretty good at 452, right? and

01:21:38.989 --> 01:21:42.130
but like we can't see 452 we just feel good there

01:21:42.130 --> 01:21:44.670
what if this whole quote -unquote paranormal

01:21:44.670 --> 01:21:49.390
bullshit that retard believes in is that say

01:21:49.390 --> 01:21:54.649
a fort say 452 hurts and if we could see 452

01:21:54.649 --> 01:21:57.529
we'd see a whole different world yeah you know

01:21:57.529 --> 01:21:59.829
what i mean like yeah like that's where i believe

01:21:59.829 --> 01:22:01.909
you know talk about different dimensions i think

01:22:01.909 --> 01:22:04.149
that's where the dimensions lay There's also,

01:22:04.210 --> 01:22:06.430
like, a vibrational thing. Well, no, that is

01:22:06.430 --> 01:22:07.989
the vibrations. But we're at, like, certain vibrations.

01:22:08.289 --> 01:22:11.550
But, like, did you ever see the, like, the shit

01:22:11.550 --> 01:22:16.829
where... I made a retard joke. Did you just forget

01:22:16.829 --> 01:22:19.210
where you are? No, I just... Everyone was staring

01:22:19.210 --> 01:22:20.850
at me. Everybody laughed because I was like,

01:22:20.930 --> 01:22:23.750
I fucking talked about the vibrations. I'm a

01:22:23.750 --> 01:22:27.409
fucking retard. But, like, there was the... Because

01:22:27.409 --> 01:22:29.850
I obviously... Everybody knows that I'm super

01:22:29.850 --> 01:22:31.989
into, like, supernatural paranormal instances.

01:22:32.510 --> 01:22:35.239
But, like... There's been instances of people

01:22:35.239 --> 01:22:37.840
being able to walk through walls and shit, like

01:22:37.840 --> 01:22:40.239
documented things where people were able to go

01:22:40.239 --> 01:22:42.680
through a solid wall to get to another room.

01:22:42.840 --> 01:22:45.260
But what I thought about that, which you kind

01:22:45.260 --> 01:22:47.720
of reminded me of with that, which the people

01:22:47.720 --> 01:22:49.560
who are able to walk through a wall and get to

01:22:49.560 --> 01:22:52.079
another room, maybe it's like they just are able

01:22:52.079 --> 01:22:54.920
to switch their vibration just a little bit,

01:22:54.939 --> 01:22:57.420
just enough to get through a solid object, and

01:22:57.420 --> 01:23:00.779
then they go back to ours type thing. You want

01:23:00.779 --> 01:23:02.659
me to fuck your brain? Sure. You want me to fuck

01:23:02.659 --> 01:23:04.520
your brain? That's not always going to work.

01:23:05.899 --> 01:23:09.680
If I'm fucking anything, it's Dan. I'm sorry,

01:23:09.680 --> 01:23:12.500
Dan. It's like a hot piece of ass over there.

01:23:12.760 --> 01:23:17.720
Me and Kyle will take a bed. Me and Dan are going

01:23:17.720 --> 01:23:19.340
to say we're going to cat -dog, or we're really

01:23:19.340 --> 01:23:22.640
fucking. I take bets on who's going to be the

01:23:22.640 --> 01:23:26.600
top there. Probably me. Who do you think is taking

01:23:26.600 --> 01:23:30.720
the top? I don't know. Hang on. We did Tranny.

01:23:31.960 --> 01:23:35.659
Whatever. Not a trainee. Right? Casey, who's

01:23:35.659 --> 01:23:39.359
taking top or bottom? I think Tyler and Allie

01:23:39.359 --> 01:23:41.500
back. No, we're talking about me and Dan. Are

01:23:41.500 --> 01:23:45.579
you fucking not pressuring me? He's taking top?

01:23:45.880 --> 01:23:49.600
We're taking top. Between me and Dan, who's taking?

01:23:51.140 --> 01:23:54.199
We're taking Tyler and Dan to bow down. It's

01:23:54.199 --> 01:23:56.119
me and Tyler. I was saying that Dan's on the

01:23:56.119 --> 01:23:58.600
top in the Amazon position. So Dan's fucking

01:23:58.600 --> 01:24:01.359
me. All right. What do you say, Allie Mac? I

01:24:01.359 --> 01:24:04.579
can't help but picture this fucking... No, no,

01:24:04.619 --> 01:24:06.659
no. I'm saying you're fucking him, but he's on

01:24:06.659 --> 01:24:09.300
top. Oh, I'm fucking him. No, no, no, no, no.

01:24:09.579 --> 01:24:12.600
I'm pumping from the bottom. I'm pumping from

01:24:12.600 --> 01:24:17.029
the bottom. So that's one for me fucking you.

01:24:17.090 --> 01:24:19.770
No, it's fucked up. I picture a world where you

01:24:19.770 --> 01:24:23.229
two go fucking wrestling for top and you just

01:24:23.229 --> 01:24:27.069
exhaust yourselves both of you. And you just

01:24:27.069 --> 01:24:29.489
fucking fall asleep. And they're like, there's

01:24:29.489 --> 01:24:32.409
no penetration. This big thing is overrated.

01:24:32.529 --> 01:24:35.590
There's no penetration. They're just me and Dan

01:24:35.590 --> 01:24:38.850
just wrestling. Greco -Roman. We're Greco -Roman

01:24:38.850 --> 01:24:41.869
wrestling. But it gets to the point where we're

01:24:41.869 --> 01:24:43.850
both like, bro, I'm fucking exhausted. He's like,

01:24:43.909 --> 01:24:48.340
bro, I'm exhausted. It's just fucking odd. You

01:24:48.340 --> 01:24:52.319
never know when you both get close a couple times.

01:24:52.739 --> 01:24:57.569
It just can't. You just can't get it done. What

01:24:57.569 --> 01:24:59.789
you're saying is me and Dan are evenly classed.

01:25:00.010 --> 01:25:02.329
I'll tell you how this is going. I'm topping.

01:25:02.350 --> 01:25:07.909
I think so. Dan proves himself for a man of his

01:25:07.909 --> 01:25:10.430
weight. He's throwing you the fuck around. But

01:25:10.430 --> 01:25:16.180
every once in a while, he pisses you off. He

01:25:16.180 --> 01:25:18.260
pisses you off and he gives you that kind of

01:25:18.260 --> 01:25:21.300
tubby angry thing. He's like, I'm going to put

01:25:21.300 --> 01:25:25.159
this bitch in my place. As he tires me out. As

01:25:25.159 --> 01:25:27.119
he starts to tire out, I just start putting my

01:25:27.119 --> 01:25:29.699
weight on him. But I'm so tired at this point

01:25:29.699 --> 01:25:32.260
I can't penetrate. I'm just holding him down.

01:25:32.739 --> 01:25:36.579
Damn, this is a good turn. You get him down.

01:25:36.680 --> 01:25:39.359
You get him down. You're dead tired. But you're

01:25:39.359 --> 01:25:42.140
just so into it that you can't fucking get hard

01:25:42.140 --> 01:25:45.260
enough to do anything. That's what happens. Casey

01:25:45.260 --> 01:25:49.079
has me fucking Dan. Ally Mac has me and Dan in

01:25:49.079 --> 01:25:51.539
a power struggle where I almost fuck him, but

01:25:51.539 --> 01:25:54.340
it doesn't happen. So I think that it's more

01:25:54.340 --> 01:25:56.840
of a surprise attack on your end to him. Yeah.

01:25:58.720 --> 01:26:01.760
Relatively all right. What the fuck? Dan, you're

01:26:01.760 --> 01:26:04.579
kind of gay, bro. Look at your old epic face.

01:26:04.819 --> 01:26:08.619
I'll knock you out and top you. I'll fucking

01:26:08.619 --> 01:26:10.699
hit you over the head with that chair and top

01:26:10.699 --> 01:26:18.609
you. So I'm thinking that you first come out,

01:26:18.649 --> 01:26:20.850
like you come like when the lights are all off

01:26:20.850 --> 01:26:22.869
and we're just, you know, ghost hunting or whatever.

01:26:22.989 --> 01:26:24.909
When the lights are all off, everybody's fucking

01:26:24.909 --> 01:26:28.109
like doing this. You guys hear a bing. That's

01:26:28.109 --> 01:26:30.010
your dick going up. Dan just fucking scampers.

01:26:30.109 --> 01:26:33.270
This podcast is taking a turn. Speaking of taking

01:26:33.270 --> 01:26:35.970
a turn, Dan, can I read you this headline I saw

01:26:35.970 --> 01:26:38.329
today? I'd love to hear it. An Indiana teacher

01:26:38.329 --> 01:26:41.010
was arrested. Dan goes, yeah, before I fucking

01:26:41.010 --> 01:26:44.289
leave, dude. Dan, I'm sorry. I'm going to fuck

01:26:44.289 --> 01:26:47.770
you. It ain't happening, bro. The fucking panel's

01:26:47.770 --> 01:26:51.109
deciding it. Look, if it came down to it, right?

01:26:51.289 --> 01:26:53.850
Yeah. If somebody had a gun to our heads and

01:26:53.850 --> 01:26:58.260
we said, you guys are fucking. or you're getting

01:26:58.260 --> 01:27:00.439
shot. That's your only way out of this room?

01:27:00.880 --> 01:27:04.119
You're getting topped, bro. I'm sorry. Five foot

01:27:04.119 --> 01:27:07.560
six inch me is going to fucking knock you the

01:27:07.560 --> 01:27:09.920
fuck out and I'm topping you. I'm a purple belt

01:27:09.920 --> 01:27:11.840
in jiu -jitsu. I don't give a fuck what you are.

01:27:12.680 --> 01:27:14.819
I'll put you in front. I'll fucking mount your

01:27:14.819 --> 01:27:16.659
back. Why does Dan convince me right now? I'll

01:27:16.659 --> 01:27:18.460
mount your fucking back. You're getting topped,

01:27:18.460 --> 01:27:20.380
bro. You know what? Actually, you know what?

01:27:20.420 --> 01:27:23.319
You and me, we're going around. You guys should

01:27:23.319 --> 01:27:25.819
fight to the death right now. We're going around.

01:27:25.960 --> 01:27:27.819
You and me, I'll break your neck and pop you.

01:27:28.619 --> 01:27:31.140
We're moving that furniture around. I think that,

01:27:31.140 --> 01:27:32.840
like, enough. And I guarantee you, within 30

01:27:32.840 --> 01:27:35.319
seconds, I'll have your back. So, the thing that

01:27:35.319 --> 01:27:38.800
I'm thinking, my mind's eyeing seeing this, you

01:27:38.800 --> 01:27:40.979
try to surprise attack him at first. Right. And

01:27:40.979 --> 01:27:43.579
he kind of, he gets these sense scaling in. Like,

01:27:43.579 --> 01:27:45.659
he's like, oh, no, I'm going to get fucked. So,

01:27:45.680 --> 01:27:48.340
and he hops up and he's scared. He's scared.

01:27:48.340 --> 01:27:50.460
I'm going to get fucked. He now has the, what's

01:27:50.460 --> 01:27:53.500
the name of that? Deliverance? What? One of that

01:27:53.500 --> 01:27:55.380
movie deliverance with the fucking hillbillies.

01:27:55.460 --> 01:27:59.619
Yeah. No, it's like a pig boy. That's me. That's

01:27:59.619 --> 01:28:04.920
me. Squeal like a pig. So Dan goes, oh, fuck,

01:28:04.939 --> 01:28:06.939
I'm going to get fucked. So he does like some

01:28:06.939 --> 01:28:09.520
weird like judo flip and then whips his cock

01:28:09.520 --> 01:28:11.039
out and tries to shove it in your mouth. But

01:28:11.039 --> 01:28:13.899
then you bite his dick so that no one gets off.

01:28:14.020 --> 01:28:18.060
This took a weird turn. It was funny for the

01:28:18.060 --> 01:28:22.970
first 10 minutes. I'm always on time. Producer

01:28:22.970 --> 01:28:27.710
Casey, play While My Guitar Gently Weeps with

01:28:27.710 --> 01:28:30.489
Prince, please. Let's get this back on track,

01:28:30.590 --> 01:28:33.689
please. Just play the solo. Allie Mack hasn't

01:28:33.689 --> 01:28:37.069
heard it yet. Play the solo. I haven't heard

01:28:37.069 --> 01:28:41.149
it yet. Is this the one he did live? Yeah. You

01:28:41.149 --> 01:28:43.470
know the story behind it, right? He just pops

01:28:43.470 --> 01:28:46.289
out of nowhere. He got snubbed on the Top 50

01:28:46.289 --> 01:28:49.470
Guitarists by Rolling Stone. Rolling Stone was

01:28:49.470 --> 01:28:52.630
there. And he said he wasn't going to do it.

01:28:52.649 --> 01:28:55.949
He said, you know, George Harrison. It doesn't

01:28:55.949 --> 01:28:58.630
matter if he goes. All right, I'll do it. Fine.

01:28:58.750 --> 01:29:00.970
I think it's a fun shreds for like five minutes.

01:29:01.090 --> 01:29:03.069
And then at the end of it, throws his guitar.

01:29:03.409 --> 01:29:05.890
It kind of sounds like something actually. Wow.

01:29:05.989 --> 01:29:09.109
Walks off the stage. Damn. And I never fucked

01:29:09.109 --> 01:29:12.729
with Prince ever. Yeah. Until I saw the songs

01:29:12.729 --> 01:29:15.850
I really like. No, but now I like him. I can

01:29:15.850 --> 01:29:20.260
start listening. Here it is. producer Casey turn

01:29:20.260 --> 01:29:26.739
it up a little bit he's playing Telecaster listen

01:29:26.739 --> 01:29:31.239
listen he keeps looking at Tom Petty you gotta

01:29:31.239 --> 01:29:33.819
see it though you gotta see it so he keeps looking

01:29:33.819 --> 01:29:36.479
at Tom Petty throughout this like can I keep

01:29:36.479 --> 01:29:39.680
going can I keep Tom Petty's like just bro do

01:29:39.680 --> 01:29:41.539
your thing and that's why he keeps singing the

01:29:41.539 --> 01:29:49.220
chorus listen Dude, he's finger mashing right

01:29:49.220 --> 01:29:51.640
now. You gotta see it, too, though. It doesn't

01:29:51.640 --> 01:29:52.960
do it any justice just to hear it. Well, hang

01:29:52.960 --> 01:29:54.520
on. Turn it around so they can see it, Casey.

01:29:54.640 --> 01:30:09.180
I can't turn it around. Love it. Right here,

01:30:09.199 --> 01:30:23.329
right here. Listen to this. Listen to this. Listen

01:30:23.329 --> 01:30:41.869
to this, Ray. One hand. At this point, he has

01:30:41.869 --> 01:30:45.050
the guitar over his head. Right now. And then

01:30:45.050 --> 01:31:00.619
he brings it back down. He's doing hammer pulls.

01:31:00.840 --> 01:31:03.760
He only has one hammer in his guitar. One of

01:31:03.760 --> 01:31:10.640
those hammers, bro. Can you at least turn it

01:31:10.640 --> 01:31:15.260
where he throws the guitar? No, I can't turn

01:31:15.260 --> 01:31:17.039
the computer because the wire is on the side.

01:31:17.319 --> 01:31:19.380
Look at this. He's about to throw the guitar.

01:31:26.399 --> 01:31:31.220
Is that Prince? This is Prince. He's looking

01:31:31.220 --> 01:31:33.520
at Tom. He's like, should I keep going? I got

01:31:33.520 --> 01:31:37.020
one eye here. I'm working on it. Tom's like,

01:31:37.060 --> 01:31:39.260
let's wrap it up. And it's Tom Petty. You can't

01:31:39.260 --> 01:31:41.460
tell him no. Watch. Watch right here. Watch right

01:31:41.460 --> 01:31:49.539
here. Watch what he does right here when he gets

01:31:49.539 --> 01:31:53.100
done. Rolling Stones right in front of him. Pulls

01:31:53.100 --> 01:31:54.979
the guitar off. Throws it at him. Throws it at

01:31:54.979 --> 01:31:57.279
him. Throws the fucking million dollar guitar

01:31:57.279 --> 01:31:59.500
at him. Says. Fucking you don't want to put me

01:31:59.500 --> 01:32:02.939
in my through top 50. Fuck you And that's not

01:32:02.939 --> 01:32:05.159
the whole solo like the case. He gave us the

01:32:05.159 --> 01:32:08.600
last minute and a half. I like this Yeah, thanks

01:32:08.600 --> 01:32:13.420
Casey Last minute I did from the start of the

01:32:13.420 --> 01:32:16.439
solo, but I like the solo on purple rain, too

01:32:16.439 --> 01:32:18.819
No, well, which well when he plays a live for

01:32:18.819 --> 01:32:21.100
sure. Well the one of the but I don't know what

01:32:21.100 --> 01:32:28.180
what it was but Solas it is he goes And the crowd's

01:32:28.180 --> 01:32:30.560
like, what? And then he just shreds for like

01:32:30.560 --> 01:32:34.199
11 minutes. And I went, this faggot knows how

01:32:34.199 --> 01:32:36.420
to play guitar. And then I realized he crushes

01:32:36.420 --> 01:32:38.579
more puss than I've ever crushed in my life.

01:32:38.779 --> 01:32:41.619
Well, yeah. How are you going to compete with

01:32:41.619 --> 01:32:45.060
that? I thought he was like a Freddie Mercury.

01:32:45.439 --> 01:32:47.520
Yo, let's listen to Dan fucking shredding here.

01:32:48.119 --> 01:32:57.590
Yeah. Yo. I love it. Alright, switch out a mic.

01:32:59.909 --> 01:33:02.229
Knocking on heaven's door. Oh, this is heaven's

01:33:02.229 --> 01:33:05.890
door. I knew it was Guns N' Roses as soon as

01:33:05.890 --> 01:33:34.119
I heard it. That's awesome, Dan. I was actually

01:33:34.119 --> 01:33:37.819
inspired to learn that solo from your video.

01:33:38.199 --> 01:33:43.760
Yeah, I was inspired to learn it. Oh, nice show.

01:33:49.020 --> 01:33:55.760
It's one of my favorite songs. Bitch. Let me

01:33:55.760 --> 01:34:01.760
see. You got a video? This is you? Oh, wait.

01:34:01.840 --> 01:34:05.220
No, that was the end of it. I can go high really

01:34:05.220 --> 01:34:09.039
well. Knock, knock, knocking on wood. Hold on,

01:34:09.039 --> 01:34:13.300
hold on, hold on. I want to hear this. This is

01:34:13.300 --> 01:34:16.800
Casey playing it. Hang on, you guys. Oh, I think

01:34:16.800 --> 01:34:20.800
this is back. This is me singing it there. Boo!

01:34:22.199 --> 01:34:24.619
Do you guys want a video of me singing? Yeah.

01:34:24.800 --> 01:34:30.399
You should be in our band. There we go. Oh, that's

01:34:30.399 --> 01:34:48.960
great. Ooh, ooh. That's great, Cassie. That part's

01:34:48.960 --> 01:34:51.819
hard to hit. Yeah, I know. That's why I was inspired.

01:34:52.159 --> 01:34:55.720
Hold on, that's the hard part. Back it up. That's

01:34:55.720 --> 01:34:58.359
a hard part to figure out right there. That guitar

01:34:58.359 --> 01:35:02.739
tone sounds so much better than mine. This one?

01:35:02.899 --> 01:35:14.600
Yeah. Oh, that sounds great. That's a hard part

01:35:14.600 --> 01:35:16.899
to figure out right there. You have to switch

01:35:16.899 --> 01:35:20.600
your whole hand. It's tricky to figure out what

01:35:20.600 --> 01:35:24.310
he's doing. I think, you know, a lot of people...

01:35:24.310 --> 01:35:25.750
That sounds great, dude. A lot of people say

01:35:25.750 --> 01:35:27.729
Slash is good, but I don't think a lot of people

01:35:27.729 --> 01:35:30.289
really realize how good he is. Dude, that's fucking...

01:35:30.289 --> 01:35:33.270
It's such a melodic, beautiful song. I have my

01:35:33.270 --> 01:35:35.630
fucking... We did this for, like, Christmas for

01:35:35.630 --> 01:35:37.850
my parents. I have my sister fucking call in

01:35:37.850 --> 01:35:42.590
and do the phone part. Oh, really? Casey, I'll

01:35:42.590 --> 01:35:45.189
do fucking Iowa Flightless Bird's wife on it

01:35:45.189 --> 01:35:48.289
right now. That's your sister talking? Yeah,

01:35:48.310 --> 01:35:52.380
yeah. Tell her I said hi. I don't know if I want

01:35:52.380 --> 01:35:54.939
to do that, Dan. Wait, you said you're going

01:35:54.939 --> 01:35:58.199
to be on top? Do you guys want to hear me working

01:35:58.199 --> 01:36:02.199
on falsetto or no? Like live? Yeah, no, I have

01:36:02.199 --> 01:36:04.760
a video of it. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's no music

01:36:04.760 --> 01:36:06.300
behind it, though, that's the issue. How's your

01:36:06.300 --> 01:36:09.159
falsetto? You can judge it. I have a two -minute

01:36:09.159 --> 01:36:11.399
video of me doing falsetto. Let's hear it, yeah.

01:36:11.680 --> 01:36:16.279
You know Alter Bridge? Oh, yeah. It's Who's Gonna

01:36:16.279 --> 01:36:19.359
Watch Over You? I don't really know many songs,

01:36:19.420 --> 01:36:21.850
but... I don't know if, like, where did I start?

01:36:21.970 --> 01:36:23.989
It's two minutes and 20 seconds long. Do I play

01:36:23.989 --> 01:36:27.029
the whole thing? Let's see. Just fucking go for

01:36:27.029 --> 01:36:29.829
it. Okay. I don't know. Should I play the whole

01:36:29.829 --> 01:36:32.810
thing? Just... Well, if you're pulling me off

01:36:32.810 --> 01:36:45.310
the stage, then take it off, but... No. I haven't

01:36:45.310 --> 01:36:46.909
even done the fall side up part yet. I can't

01:36:46.909 --> 01:36:52.520
fucking... I know, but I haven't heard you sing

01:36:52.520 --> 01:36:54.859
since I heard you scream fucking creep in the

01:36:54.859 --> 01:37:00.119
ambulance at the top of your lungs. That was

01:37:00.119 --> 01:37:10.659
like an out -of -body experience. Nice vibrato,

01:37:10.699 --> 01:37:14.319
dude. Nice vibrato. That's all I can do. Yeah.

01:37:14.520 --> 01:37:51.010
Here it comes. Untitled talent show. Right? I

01:37:51.010 --> 01:38:55.220
love it. One breath into the verbose. That's

01:38:55.220 --> 01:38:59.560
the end. That's beautiful. I have good verbato,

01:38:59.619 --> 01:39:02.479
but I sing really good with power. If I can get

01:39:02.479 --> 01:39:05.899
the power out there. I sometimes sing well. It's

01:39:05.899 --> 01:39:08.960
hard to get confidence when you're singing. My

01:39:08.960 --> 01:39:11.899
issue is I can play instruments well. I can't

01:39:11.899 --> 01:39:14.100
get confidence with that. Singing, I can just

01:39:14.100 --> 01:39:17.880
belt it. For me, that's the only thing I can

01:39:17.880 --> 01:39:21.420
do. I can only belt it. There's no vibrato when

01:39:21.420 --> 01:39:23.399
I'm in the container. You can't do the verbato.

01:39:23.500 --> 01:39:26.130
Not really. But I can do the power shit good,

01:39:26.210 --> 01:39:27.770
though. An issue that I have is I can do the

01:39:27.770 --> 01:39:29.729
power shit good. I almost sing with too much

01:39:29.729 --> 01:39:31.750
verbato. Yeah, you could do that. Like, if you

01:39:31.750 --> 01:39:34.649
ever saw... You can. You can. There's two spectrums.

01:39:34.649 --> 01:39:36.770
If you ever see... I'm working on it. I can never

01:39:36.770 --> 01:39:38.890
do vibrato when I first started singing. I can

01:39:38.890 --> 01:39:40.789
kind of do it now. But I'll tell you right now,

01:39:40.829 --> 01:39:43.250
if you want me to sing black from start to finish,

01:39:43.470 --> 01:39:46.689
I will make you guys cry. You boys want to hallucinate?

01:39:47.710 --> 01:39:50.640
You want to smoke some weed? Nah, dude, you can

01:39:50.640 --> 01:39:51.960
do, like, the fucking thing where you cover your

01:39:51.960 --> 01:39:53.600
eyes and then you fucking, you know. You're such

01:39:53.600 --> 01:39:55.060
a faggot. I thought you were coming out here

01:39:55.060 --> 01:39:58.039
and telling me you have fucking acid. No. How

01:39:58.039 --> 01:40:00.380
do you go listening? You put, like, some shit

01:40:00.380 --> 01:40:02.380
over your eyes. Normally it's white. Like, if,

01:40:02.439 --> 01:40:04.340
like, you put my hat over your eyes. Dude, that

01:40:04.340 --> 01:40:07.340
only works if you have no fucking auditory. I've

01:40:07.340 --> 01:40:08.859
done this before. We've got to do a four -hour

01:40:08.859 --> 01:40:11.359
podcast. This is coming off the rails. We've

01:40:11.359 --> 01:40:13.779
got to get it back. Yeah, but nobody has that.

01:40:14.060 --> 01:40:17.859
This is good content. This is good content, but.

01:40:19.690 --> 01:40:21.850
I have a lot of beer left. Allie Mac's got a

01:40:21.850 --> 01:40:23.069
lot of beer. I got to drink some of that for

01:40:23.069 --> 01:40:25.970
him. We got to go four hours, bro. This is episode

01:40:25.970 --> 01:40:28.609
100. It's going to go wherever it goes. We're

01:40:28.609 --> 01:40:33.250
podcasting until tomorrow. We ain't nowhere near

01:40:33.250 --> 01:40:36.949
done. What are we, done drinking? Like, what?

01:40:37.130 --> 01:40:40.949
No, no. I'm never done drinking, Allie Mac. I'll

01:40:40.949 --> 01:40:43.630
fucking drink to that. I'll drink to that guy.

01:40:43.770 --> 01:40:45.590
Look at this shit. I got to chug this. Hang on.

01:40:45.590 --> 01:40:47.560
Hang on. I got to chug a beer. The Rangers are

01:40:47.560 --> 01:40:50.119
fucking down. We're almost with the fucking Islanders

01:40:50.119 --> 01:40:54.539
now. It's disgusting. Dan, you want to tell these

01:40:54.539 --> 01:40:58.100
guys about our solution to 9 -11 that we found

01:40:58.100 --> 01:41:00.819
out last week? Yeah, Casey actually figured out

01:41:00.819 --> 01:41:03.279
what happened on 9 -11. And he figured out...

01:41:03.279 --> 01:41:07.180
Was it the Jew gold? Tell me, Dan. The Jew gold?

01:41:07.920 --> 01:41:12.300
Jews? Jews? The whole thing... The Jews did it

01:41:12.300 --> 01:41:14.319
and they took all the gold? No, have you ever

01:41:14.319 --> 01:41:16.119
heard... Dan looks pissed off. That's the second

01:41:16.119 --> 01:41:17.659
thing. He wants to tell a story. But we like

01:41:17.659 --> 01:41:20.119
the Jews because Dan wants to tell a story. Fuck

01:41:20.119 --> 01:41:22.819
the Jews. Fuck the Jews. You hear that, Harvey

01:41:22.819 --> 01:41:25.739
Weinstein? Fuck the Jews. Fuck the Jews. Dan,

01:41:25.880 --> 01:41:28.420
I'm listening. I'm listening to your story. No,

01:41:28.439 --> 01:41:30.479
but I need you to understand I don't want to

01:41:30.479 --> 01:41:32.239
kill the Jews. I just think they're assholes.

01:41:32.460 --> 01:41:34.520
And I believe you, but I want to hear Dan's story.

01:41:34.720 --> 01:41:37.199
Where's Tyler go? Tyler got upset. Tyler got

01:41:37.199 --> 01:41:39.199
upset. I got him fired up by saying fuck the

01:41:39.199 --> 01:41:41.880
Jews and his Nazi came out. All right, let me

01:41:41.880 --> 01:41:43.319
tell the story. This is a story from the Kyle

01:41:43.319 --> 01:41:49.720
podcast. My fucking wife is Jewish. So we were

01:41:49.720 --> 01:41:55.539
funding the Taliban in Afghanistan to fight the

01:41:55.539 --> 01:41:57.800
Russians. No, that's actually well known. I read

01:41:57.800 --> 01:42:02.739
a book about that. They were the Mujahideen.

01:42:02.739 --> 01:42:07.979
We gave them guns and everything. Black Ops 1.

01:42:08.420 --> 01:42:13.199
Do you remember that? Alex Mason Woods. Will

01:42:13.199 --> 01:42:16.140
you shut the fuck up, Jesus Christ. I'm trying

01:42:16.140 --> 01:42:18.979
to have an intelligent conversation about the

01:42:18.979 --> 01:42:21.659
Mujahideen. Yeah, I'm trying to hunt ghosts.

01:42:21.779 --> 01:42:24.520
These are shorts. Anyways, so we gave them guns

01:42:24.520 --> 01:42:27.039
and money. All right, so we built the Taliban

01:42:27.039 --> 01:42:29.619
to fight the Russians. Because for some reason,

01:42:29.680 --> 01:42:32.560
Russia was in Afghanistan. For oil. They were

01:42:32.560 --> 01:42:34.579
there for oil. Right. We wanted to be in Afghanistan.

01:42:35.520 --> 01:42:38.739
We were saying, fuck Russia, right? So we armed

01:42:38.739 --> 01:42:41.039
the Taliban to fight Russia. Actually, can I?

01:42:41.079 --> 01:42:43.239
I'm sorry. I don't want to cut you off. No, you're

01:42:43.239 --> 01:42:45.020
not cutting me off. No, listen. I need to correct

01:42:45.020 --> 01:42:46.819
myself. I need to correct myself. You've been

01:42:46.819 --> 01:42:49.140
talking a lot. I need to correct myself. I said

01:42:49.140 --> 01:42:51.140
for oil, we were in Afghanistan because they

01:42:51.140 --> 01:42:53.159
had prime farming country. That's what it was.

01:42:53.300 --> 01:42:56.199
They also had starships. It turned into heroin.

01:42:56.239 --> 01:42:59.159
There used to be a wheat place, breadbasket of

01:42:59.159 --> 01:43:02.380
Rome, whatever. They were part of it because

01:43:02.380 --> 01:43:06.119
he had the Alexandria basin, and they were part

01:43:06.119 --> 01:43:09.699
of it. Thank God for the Alexandria basin, folks.

01:43:10.020 --> 01:43:11.939
I'm sorry. We love the Alexandria basin. Dan,

01:43:11.960 --> 01:43:14.199
I won't cut you off again because I fucked up.

01:43:14.340 --> 01:43:17.920
They weren't in Iraq for oil, Afghanistan for

01:43:17.920 --> 01:43:21.220
the fields. Right, right. This isn't my underwear.

01:43:21.279 --> 01:43:25.060
Whatever. We wanted to push the Russians out,

01:43:25.159 --> 01:43:28.939
right? Yeah. So BC suggested that Russia did

01:43:28.939 --> 01:43:32.310
9 -11. I laughed at it, and then I thought for

01:43:32.310 --> 01:43:36.489
a second. I'm like, oh, fuck. Like, that's completely

01:43:36.489 --> 01:43:40.569
possible, dude. That we armed the Taliban. They

01:43:40.569 --> 01:43:45.229
fought the Russians. You guys think you're slick.

01:43:45.810 --> 01:43:49.510
Watch what we're about to do. So then they programmed

01:43:49.510 --> 01:43:51.770
the fucking Taliban. They paid them. Tyler, get

01:43:51.770 --> 01:43:54.670
your ass back to the table. They paid the Taliban

01:43:54.670 --> 01:43:57.569
to do 9 -11. You know what the funny part about

01:43:57.569 --> 01:44:00.619
that is? The Taliban had nothing to do with 9

01:44:00.619 --> 01:44:04.659
-11. No, but they did. It was the Saudis. Yeah,

01:44:04.680 --> 01:44:06.979
but here's the thing, though, guys. Is that if

01:44:06.979 --> 01:44:09.520
we were ever in war with Russia, we'd fucking

01:44:09.520 --> 01:44:12.720
cremate them, dude. Yeah, but we would cremate

01:44:12.720 --> 01:44:15.039
them. No, we would. That is known. That's well

01:44:15.039 --> 01:44:17.479
known. We would fucking turn them to ash. We

01:44:17.479 --> 01:44:19.460
would fuck up Russia because we had... We would

01:44:19.460 --> 01:44:22.699
turn them to ash. We have triple the population

01:44:22.699 --> 01:44:25.060
of them, whatever. Anyways. It's not even that

01:44:25.060 --> 01:44:29.779
dude. We dominate them in population. They have

01:44:29.779 --> 01:44:33.000
no population. They have a ton of land. They

01:44:33.000 --> 01:44:34.880
have a ton of land. What are you talking about?

01:44:34.920 --> 01:44:36.880
He's just taking his clothes off and walking

01:44:36.880 --> 01:44:40.460
around. He's your fucking son. Too many conversations

01:44:40.460 --> 01:44:44.560
at once. I'm overstimulated. If you look at Russia,

01:44:44.779 --> 01:44:48.260
so look at Canada, right? Majority of their population

01:44:48.260 --> 01:44:51.970
is Toronto. Montreal, Calgary, you know, the

01:44:51.970 --> 01:44:53.949
main cities. Pussy shit. And the rest of it's

01:44:53.949 --> 01:44:56.630
desolate, which is why they had maybe a million

01:44:56.630 --> 01:44:59.250
people or whatever. In Canada? Yeah. I mean,

01:44:59.250 --> 01:45:03.050
look at Nova Scotia. There's no one there. No,

01:45:03.109 --> 01:45:06.310
Canada's like 30 million, bro. No. What? There

01:45:06.310 --> 01:45:11.289
are numbers of times. Let's see. Let's see. Canada

01:45:11.289 --> 01:45:16.760
population. 40 million, bro. Look up ours. 40

01:45:16.760 --> 01:45:19.119
million. Ours is 300 million. Ours is over 300

01:45:19.119 --> 01:45:22.000
million. That's all I'm trying to say is their

01:45:22.000 --> 01:45:24.979
population compared to ours, right? Yeah. And

01:45:24.979 --> 01:45:28.600
then lay in mass, right? So it's a very similar

01:45:28.600 --> 01:45:30.479
thing with Russia. We're seven and a half times

01:45:30.479 --> 01:45:32.359
bigger than them. Right. It's a very similar

01:45:32.359 --> 01:45:35.500
thing with us and Russia. Yeah. So Russia needs

01:45:35.500 --> 01:45:37.720
to find other ways rather than a head -to -head

01:45:37.720 --> 01:45:41.279
war, right? Which is where I'm like, you know

01:45:41.279 --> 01:45:44.000
what? Your theory might be... I have some weights.

01:45:44.039 --> 01:45:46.640
I have some legs. Well, it's like, dude, the

01:45:46.640 --> 01:45:50.600
CIA hates Russia. Right. They despise them. So

01:45:50.600 --> 01:45:53.220
you got to think like... We fucked up a lot of

01:45:53.220 --> 01:45:55.140
things from the 50s all the way up until now.

01:45:56.060 --> 01:45:58.439
I told Tyler, I'm like, I'm in a big Cold War

01:45:58.439 --> 01:46:03.920
binge right now. We fucked up a lot of things

01:46:03.920 --> 01:46:07.539
throughout the world just to best Russia. Right.

01:46:07.579 --> 01:46:10.460
Which is the dumbest thing ever. Right. That's

01:46:10.460 --> 01:46:13.279
what a lot of the JFK files are showing. Yeah,

01:46:13.279 --> 01:46:15.779
it's this conflict that we could have won, no

01:46:15.779 --> 01:46:17.479
issue. And we could have been like, you know

01:46:17.479 --> 01:46:21.239
what? We don't care. But instead, we let Russia

01:46:21.239 --> 01:46:23.779
infiltrate us, and then we infiltrate all these

01:46:23.779 --> 01:46:25.899
other nations. And fuck, look at the Middle East.

01:46:26.579 --> 01:46:29.979
Listen, I'll give you one. Look at Darfur. You

01:46:29.979 --> 01:46:32.659
know anything about Darfur? No. I wrote a 12

01:46:32.659 --> 01:46:37.600
-page research paper on it. Sudan, it's supposed

01:46:37.600 --> 01:46:40.489
to be two countries. Sudan, well, three countries.

01:46:40.609 --> 01:46:43.989
Sudan, South Sudan, and Darfur, right? Instead,

01:46:44.229 --> 01:46:48.850
we made them into one country. And two genocides

01:46:48.850 --> 01:46:52.250
happened. Oh, damn. One's still happening. South

01:46:52.250 --> 01:46:57.050
Sudan broke off, luckily. And they're, I guess,

01:46:57.069 --> 01:47:00.409
okay? I don't know. The UN is still there at

01:47:00.409 --> 01:47:02.550
Darfur, which is, I can't remember if it's the

01:47:02.550 --> 01:47:06.310
west side or the east side of Sudan. But basically,

01:47:06.529 --> 01:47:09.920
they're like a... If I remember it, one side

01:47:09.920 --> 01:47:14.500
is Muslim and one side is not. And the side that's

01:47:14.500 --> 01:47:17.220
in Darfur, which is a strip of land on either

01:47:17.220 --> 01:47:21.819
the west or east side of Sudan, is not like the

01:47:21.819 --> 01:47:24.579
other. What continent is this? This is Africa.

01:47:24.859 --> 01:47:31.399
Oh, I don't like it. Jesus Christ. Dan, you remember

01:47:31.399 --> 01:47:35.770
I said the reason why that. Russia did 9 -11

01:47:35.770 --> 01:47:40.050
was because Trump lost the 2000 election. He

01:47:40.050 --> 01:47:42.810
didn't run in 2000. He ran for president in 2000.

01:47:43.170 --> 01:47:46.050
No, he didn't. Why would that matter, bro? As

01:47:46.050 --> 01:47:49.670
a Democrat, I think. Oh, because they were backing

01:47:49.670 --> 01:47:53.609
him was your thing? Hang on. I don't believe

01:47:53.609 --> 01:47:55.670
that. That's a stretch. He was recruited by the

01:47:55.670 --> 01:47:58.180
CIA. Let me pull this out of this. His name was

01:47:58.180 --> 01:48:01.920
Krasnov. Let me pull us out of this. Allie Mac's

01:48:01.920 --> 01:48:04.000
falling asleep. Tyler's on his phone. I'm not

01:48:04.000 --> 01:48:06.319
falling asleep. I'm right here. I'm right here.

01:48:06.399 --> 01:48:08.960
Hang on. I'm not falling asleep. Let me give

01:48:08.960 --> 01:48:11.250
you a go. Can I get... Can I give you guys a

01:48:11.250 --> 01:48:14.210
theory that might work together? Yeah. Hey, can

01:48:14.210 --> 01:48:16.529
I get my fucking gummy worms back, please? They're

01:48:16.529 --> 01:48:18.329
right there, bro. You can reach for them, retard.

01:48:18.329 --> 01:48:20.289
I sucked on seven of them and spit them out.

01:48:20.310 --> 01:48:21.909
Whenever they're ready. I just sucked the sugar

01:48:21.909 --> 01:48:24.729
out of them. I got D in backwashing. Fuck. Whenever

01:48:24.729 --> 01:48:26.930
these guys are ready, I have them. We're ready.

01:48:26.989 --> 01:48:29.289
We're ready. Whenever these guys are ready, I

01:48:29.289 --> 01:48:32.510
was born ready. I was born ready. Dude, you're

01:48:32.510 --> 01:48:35.409
going to like this one. Where's Shane? Who? What?

01:48:35.569 --> 01:48:37.630
Oh, Shane. Oh, yeah? You want me to call him?

01:48:38.189 --> 01:48:41.489
Yeah, fuck. Yeah, let's call Shane. Let's call

01:48:41.489 --> 01:48:45.369
Shane. After this, I might call him. All right,

01:48:45.369 --> 01:48:48.229
let's hear this theory. My theory is, you know

01:48:48.229 --> 01:48:52.510
Shane Gillis? Yeah. Compromised. Why? By who?

01:48:52.770 --> 01:48:55.350
So this isn't my theory. The Soviets? It's war

01:48:55.350 --> 01:48:57.689
mode. Right, because he went to West Point. He

01:48:57.689 --> 01:49:00.350
went to West Point, right? Dropped out early.

01:49:00.850 --> 01:49:05.409
Two weeks in. Becomes heavy into Joe Rogan. Becomes

01:49:05.409 --> 01:49:08.619
heavy into the comedy scene, right? He's funny.

01:49:08.720 --> 01:49:11.859
Fair enough. But he becomes heavy into all these,

01:49:12.060 --> 01:49:15.079
like, think about how, like, important Joe Rogan

01:49:15.079 --> 01:49:18.260
is on the media scale, right? And then think

01:49:18.260 --> 01:49:21.539
about how important, like, Shane now has become

01:49:21.539 --> 01:49:24.260
in the media scale. Because he went to fucking

01:49:24.260 --> 01:49:27.500
Saturday Live. Right. And then they booted him

01:49:27.500 --> 01:49:33.899
from there. So, so, so, I believe in war mode,

01:49:34.000 --> 01:49:36.970
which is Billy and Spud. Billy's Matt McCusker's

01:49:36.970 --> 01:49:38.970
older brother, his bud is their best friend.

01:49:39.109 --> 01:49:42.090
Matt McCusker has a podcast with Shane, Matt

01:49:42.090 --> 01:49:46.090
and Shane's Secret Podcast. Their theory is Shane's

01:49:46.090 --> 01:49:52.409
compromised with the CIA. Plus, the latest episode

01:49:52.409 --> 01:49:54.689
of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, they were

01:49:54.689 --> 01:49:57.409
talking about how Shane went back on Saturday

01:49:57.409 --> 01:50:00.229
Night Live, right? He joked around, you know

01:50:00.229 --> 01:50:02.090
the theory of like when people go on Saturday

01:50:02.090 --> 01:50:04.779
Night Live and... Things like that. They have

01:50:04.779 --> 01:50:07.199
to humiliate themselves. It's a humiliation ritual.

01:50:07.520 --> 01:50:10.319
Right. Yeah, but Shane said I'm not going to

01:50:10.319 --> 01:50:13.539
wear a dress, though. Stop. Let me tell it. Humiliation

01:50:13.539 --> 01:50:18.659
ritual, right? For the Illuminati. Plus the CIA.

01:50:19.680 --> 01:50:22.020
And I think they're, you know, fingers crossed.

01:50:22.220 --> 01:50:25.380
Those two now. World control. Shane literally

01:50:25.380 --> 01:50:28.840
said this last episode. Oh, yeah, you know, blah,

01:50:28.880 --> 01:50:31.659
blah, blah. And I love Shane. Model my comedy

01:50:31.659 --> 01:50:36.550
after him. And fucking Andrew Dice Clay, right?

01:50:36.710 --> 01:50:40.670
Anyways, he said, oh, yeah, I went in the comedy

01:50:40.670 --> 01:50:42.909
meeting, blah, blah, blah. And the one thing

01:50:42.909 --> 01:50:44.829
I said is the only thing I'm not doing is wearing

01:50:44.829 --> 01:50:48.069
a dress. And all these people are suspected to

01:50:48.069 --> 01:50:54.149
be Illuminati compromised are to have to do humiliation

01:50:54.149 --> 01:50:59.149
rituals wearing a dress. I think Shane is a CIA

01:50:59.149 --> 01:51:04.109
spook. I don't know, bro. What else do you have?

01:51:04.470 --> 01:51:07.949
Dude, I don't know. Think about it. He's wrapped

01:51:07.949 --> 01:51:11.289
up Tony Hinchcliffe. Hang on, hang on. Tony Hinchcliffe.

01:51:11.869 --> 01:51:16.670
Legion of Skanks. Joe Rogan. I mean, do I have

01:51:16.670 --> 01:51:18.890
to keep going down the line? He's wrapped up.

01:51:19.229 --> 01:51:21.989
Think about how hard it is to get wrapped up

01:51:21.989 --> 01:51:25.720
in the alt media. Not the CNNs, not the Fox,

01:51:26.060 --> 01:51:28.800
not any of that. Think about how hard it is to

01:51:28.800 --> 01:51:31.020
get wrapped up in the alt -media of the podcast

01:51:31.020 --> 01:51:33.659
industry, right? What would be the point? Like

01:51:33.659 --> 01:51:35.239
you're saying, so they have a foot in the door?

01:51:35.420 --> 01:51:37.619
Again, control. So they have a foot in the door

01:51:37.619 --> 01:51:39.960
on the... But he doesn't have any influence.

01:51:40.220 --> 01:51:43.880
No, but it's a slow play. He's the top comedian

01:51:43.880 --> 01:51:47.859
in the world now. He went from not shit, being

01:51:47.859 --> 01:51:51.020
relatively funny, to being the funniest comedian

01:51:51.020 --> 01:51:53.960
in the world. And now he's on all these podcasts.

01:51:54.180 --> 01:51:57.060
And he has control on a lot of these podcasts

01:51:57.060 --> 01:52:00.359
when he's on them. So you think he's a psy -op?

01:52:00.859 --> 01:52:04.899
I don't know. I love Shane. He's one of my favorites.

01:52:04.979 --> 01:52:07.000
He's actually funny, though. Again, like I said,

01:52:07.159 --> 01:52:10.739
him, Dice Clay. Modeled my comedy after both

01:52:10.739 --> 01:52:12.619
of them. Dude, I'm just saying. They got ways

01:52:12.619 --> 01:52:15.619
of showing you humiliation. Dude, that same episode

01:52:15.619 --> 01:52:18.039
of SNL, he's sitting there in a fucking wheelchair.

01:52:18.779 --> 01:52:21.140
He's sitting there in a power chair with a fucking

01:52:21.140 --> 01:52:23.600
pedophile haircut. And the whole joke is that

01:52:23.600 --> 01:52:26.100
he's a pedophile the whole time. If you want

01:52:26.100 --> 01:52:28.699
to roll with this, Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis.

01:52:28.699 --> 01:52:31.939
He's got Tate McCray acting like a fucking, don't

01:52:31.939 --> 01:52:34.619
get me wrong, he's a fucking dime piece. She's

01:52:34.619 --> 01:52:37.060
beautiful. Who is this? She's beautiful. Tate.

01:52:37.600 --> 01:52:41.079
Tate McCray. T -A -T -E. Her name is Tate? Tate.

01:52:41.279 --> 01:52:46.539
Tate. Tate. McRae. M -C -R -A -E. But, no, what

01:52:46.539 --> 01:52:49.279
I'm saying is it's not that I believe it. Damn.

01:52:49.359 --> 01:52:51.659
Because, again, he's one of my heroes. Dice Clay.

01:52:51.779 --> 01:52:54.039
I'll buy it. Dice Clay's one of my heroes. It's

01:52:54.039 --> 01:52:56.180
something to think about. I'm just saying I don't

01:52:56.180 --> 01:52:58.439
buy it. It's something to think about when our

01:52:58.439 --> 01:53:00.979
nation is trying to control us through our media.

01:53:01.560 --> 01:53:06.180
Our media. They do it right now, bro. Yeah, what

01:53:06.180 --> 01:53:08.659
are you talking about? Denzel Washington everywhere.

01:53:08.680 --> 01:53:11.010
No, but think about it. Think about it. But tell

01:53:11.010 --> 01:53:14.470
me, tell me, tell me. No, no, no. Pull back.

01:53:14.590 --> 01:53:16.909
Pull back from the dresses. Pull back from the

01:53:16.909 --> 01:53:20.909
dresses. Think about how CNN wraps up retards

01:53:20.909 --> 01:53:24.850
like Casey, right, into what they believe. And

01:53:24.850 --> 01:53:27.810
then think about how Fox News wraps up retards

01:53:27.810 --> 01:53:31.189
like Dan. Like Dan. Like Dan and Tyler. Fox News

01:53:31.189 --> 01:53:34.210
like Dan comes in. Think about it. No, but think

01:53:34.210 --> 01:53:36.539
about it. No, honestly, God, think about how

01:53:36.539 --> 01:53:40.680
fucking media controls everything. No, but think

01:53:40.680 --> 01:53:43.640
about how media can control everything. Before,

01:53:44.180 --> 01:53:47.439
listen. No, before. In the 40s and 50s. Think

01:53:47.439 --> 01:53:50.420
about it. In the 40s. Like, say the 40s, right?

01:53:50.560 --> 01:53:55.619
World War II. It's going crazy, right? There

01:53:55.619 --> 01:53:58.680
goes America. We beat fucking Jerry back there.

01:53:58.819 --> 01:54:02.220
We landed on Omaha Beach and beat Jerry all the

01:54:02.220 --> 01:54:06.119
way back to Caritan. We took over Caritan and

01:54:06.119 --> 01:54:09.199
we are two steps closer to Germany and to Berlin.

01:54:09.380 --> 01:54:12.439
That was the media. And everybody's like, fuck

01:54:12.439 --> 01:54:16.359
yeah, go America, go America. And we turned into...

01:54:16.359 --> 01:54:18.819
I could have cooked eggs in this. We turned into

01:54:18.819 --> 01:54:22.279
a media. We turned into two separate medias of...

01:54:22.670 --> 01:54:25.289
Can you believe what those conservative fucking

01:54:25.289 --> 01:54:28.550
scumbags are talking about? And then the other

01:54:28.550 --> 01:54:31.329
side is, can you believe what those liberal retards

01:54:31.329 --> 01:54:32.770
are talking about? Talking about cutting their

01:54:32.770 --> 01:54:34.989
dicks off. And that's what media has become.

01:54:35.050 --> 01:54:37.920
They're controlling us, bro. They are. No, no,

01:54:37.939 --> 01:54:40.199
no. They're controlling us. They're melting our

01:54:40.199 --> 01:54:44.180
fucking brains. We need to go back to. Oh, yeah.

01:54:44.300 --> 01:54:46.680
Look at how fucking we're beating Jerry back.

01:54:46.800 --> 01:54:49.479
And we beat those fucking Japs. And we dropped

01:54:49.479 --> 01:54:52.760
one fucking bomb on Hiroshima. And those Japs

01:54:52.760 --> 01:54:54.479
don't know it's coming. We're dropping a second

01:54:54.479 --> 01:54:57.100
one on Nagasaki. And we're going to look at the

01:54:57.100 --> 01:54:59.800
fucking Kremlin in Moscow and say, you want a

01:54:59.800 --> 01:55:01.720
third one because we got one and we're coming

01:55:01.720 --> 01:55:04.710
for you. Fucking Russia. But that's what the

01:55:04.710 --> 01:55:06.989
second one was all about, bro. And that's what

01:55:06.989 --> 01:55:09.010
media was all about. And everybody in America

01:55:09.010 --> 01:55:13.029
was like, yeah, red, white, blue stars and fucking

01:55:13.029 --> 01:55:16.649
stripes. But now we're like, fuck you, commie.

01:55:17.409 --> 01:55:21.210
Fuck you, fucking conservative prick. Just fade

01:55:21.210 --> 01:55:23.270
it out. Fuck you. That's what it is. You know

01:55:23.270 --> 01:55:26.510
what I mean? That's what it's become. That's

01:55:26.510 --> 01:55:29.800
what it's become. Am I wrong? I'm not going to

01:55:29.800 --> 01:55:31.899
tell you that. Am I wrong? No. That's what I'm

01:55:31.899 --> 01:55:34.539
just saying. That's when the media is taking

01:55:34.539 --> 01:55:38.399
control of the world. Yeah. I know. We all know

01:55:38.399 --> 01:55:40.380
it. That's why me and Casey are at each other's

01:55:40.380 --> 01:55:41.800
fucking throats. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

01:55:41.899 --> 01:55:44.279
They're doing it. Tossing this dumb fucking Trump

01:55:44.279 --> 01:55:47.100
shit out. They're doing it, bro. But you don't

01:55:47.100 --> 01:55:51.020
have to defend it. No, just lay down your arms.

01:55:51.060 --> 01:55:53.319
You don't have to fight for what you believe

01:55:53.319 --> 01:55:55.939
in. You should just let us control everything.

01:55:56.239 --> 01:55:58.960
Just like we've ran every liberal city into the

01:55:58.960 --> 01:56:01.359
fucking bitch in this country. We want to do

01:56:01.359 --> 01:56:03.560
that with the world. It's like, no, I'm not going

01:56:03.560 --> 01:56:05.840
to let you do that. I'll tell you why when we

01:56:05.840 --> 01:56:08.119
go on a break. I'll tell you why. Here's what

01:56:08.119 --> 01:56:12.449
I think. Who do I think? I think Tyler's been

01:56:12.449 --> 01:56:16.569
saying that he's not into politics lately, and

01:56:16.569 --> 01:56:19.550
I respect that. Yeah, Tyler's been compromised.

01:56:19.550 --> 01:56:22.069
This is how he wins our fucking Jeopardy. I think

01:56:22.069 --> 01:56:24.069
it's a good idea because we've gotten too political

01:56:24.069 --> 01:56:27.909
lately. This is not a joke. I remember some weird

01:56:27.909 --> 01:56:29.949
testing I had to do in fucking like element.

01:56:30.029 --> 01:56:33.029
Oh, here we go. Here we go. I think I've been

01:56:33.029 --> 01:56:35.859
psyoped. Yeah, Alex Trebek, I'll take things

01:56:35.859 --> 01:56:38.899
that did not happen for 1 ,000, please. You remember

01:56:38.899 --> 01:56:41.380
the fucking weird fucking hearing test and shit

01:56:41.380 --> 01:56:42.939
that you had to do? Bro, you ain't Billy Bobby

01:56:42.939 --> 01:56:45.100
Brown, all right? You're not going on fucking

01:56:45.100 --> 01:56:47.079
Stranger Things, okay? Who fucks Billy Bobby

01:56:47.079 --> 01:56:50.520
Brown? She's fucking hot now, bro. Yeah, she's

01:56:50.520 --> 01:56:54.840
pretty hot. She's 18. That's borderline. It's

01:56:54.840 --> 01:56:58.279
not borderline anything. She's pretty hot. I'm

01:56:58.279 --> 01:57:02.869
on Dan's side here. It's borderline. That ain't

01:57:02.869 --> 01:57:05.149
borderline shit, bro. By the way, this is the

01:57:05.149 --> 01:57:07.590
headline that I wanted to read before. An Indian

01:57:07.590 --> 01:57:10.630
teacher was arrested and accused of forcing boys

01:57:10.630 --> 01:57:13.270
to have group sex with her while wearing Halloween

01:57:13.270 --> 01:57:15.989
masks. Why the fuck couldn't that happen to me?

01:57:16.770 --> 01:57:19.689
Jesus Christ. Let's see what she looked like.

01:57:19.909 --> 01:57:22.170
According to sources, when interviewed by authorities,

01:57:22.369 --> 01:57:24.550
she did not say she regretted her actions, but

01:57:24.550 --> 01:57:26.909
she said she regrets the day she lost weight.

01:57:28.090 --> 01:57:31.210
What does that mean? That's empty. Is that real?

01:57:32.250 --> 01:57:34.329
What the fuck? Oh, Indiana. I thought you said

01:57:34.329 --> 01:57:36.529
Indian. I was thinking, like... No, Indiana.

01:57:36.869 --> 01:57:39.090
That'd be crazy, because that's, like, definitely...

01:57:39.090 --> 01:57:43.189
Yeah, yeah. Wow. Boys forcing boys, but how old

01:57:43.189 --> 01:57:46.189
are we talking here? Wasn't she a teacher or

01:57:46.189 --> 01:57:50.329
something? Yeah, but, like, are they 17? How

01:57:50.329 --> 01:57:53.810
old are they? Yeah, it doesn't specify. It makes

01:57:53.810 --> 01:57:56.229
a big difference. If they're fucking 10, that's

01:57:56.229 --> 01:57:59.869
fucked up. If they're 17, that's fucking hot.

01:58:00.300 --> 01:58:02.680
Like, dude, I wish that happened to me at 17.

01:58:02.840 --> 01:58:04.920
And you know every guy in the world does, too.

01:58:05.140 --> 01:58:07.119
Why the fuck can't I figure out these fucking

01:58:07.119 --> 01:58:08.840
headphones? That's what she looked like. The

01:58:08.840 --> 01:58:13.760
one with the R on it means right. Oh, really?

01:58:13.960 --> 01:58:16.939
That's a wild answer. Really? Because I haven't

01:58:16.939 --> 01:58:19.779
roasted any of you yet. All right? And I can

01:58:19.779 --> 01:58:22.539
get after you. I'd bust in there. I'd bust in

01:58:22.539 --> 01:58:24.899
there. Now I got the fucking headphones on. That

01:58:24.899 --> 01:58:26.000
looks like Crack Horse Anonymous or whatever

01:58:26.000 --> 01:58:27.500
the fuck he was talking about. Crack Horse Anonymous

01:58:27.500 --> 01:58:30.199
is fucking Crack Horse fucking confessions. All

01:58:30.199 --> 01:58:31.840
right? I'm going to look that up when I go home.

01:58:31.840 --> 01:58:33.960
I know you are. Bro, you're going to go on a

01:58:33.960 --> 01:58:38.199
deep dive. I'm not kidding you. Okay, hold on.

01:58:38.300 --> 01:58:40.720
Hold on. Hold on. Before we go any further. Did

01:58:40.720 --> 01:58:42.699
you hear this? This guy's up off the corner of

01:58:42.699 --> 01:58:45.600
the street. These girls. And they're all fucking

01:58:45.600 --> 01:58:53.819
doped out. That sounds illegal, bro. And he fucks

01:58:53.819 --> 01:58:56.039
him, bro. It sounds like he's fucking an unwilling

01:58:56.039 --> 01:58:58.159
participant. No, they're willing. That's kind

01:58:58.159 --> 01:58:59.760
of fucked up. Because there's money on the line.

01:58:59.979 --> 01:59:02.859
So what I was going to say. There's drugs on

01:59:02.859 --> 01:59:05.840
the line. I sent it into the group chat, but

01:59:05.840 --> 01:59:07.779
did you see that Aaron Goodwin from Ghost Adventures'

01:59:08.020 --> 01:59:12.020
wife had a contract killer try to kill him? Was

01:59:12.020 --> 01:59:16.220
that related to... Zach Bagans will say it's

01:59:16.220 --> 01:59:18.579
a ghost that made his wife try to kill him. Because

01:59:18.579 --> 01:59:21.399
remember his last wife actually was on the show

01:59:21.399 --> 01:59:24.319
and she got possessed by a demon. Then she divorced

01:59:24.319 --> 01:59:26.380
him. Yeah, she divorced him. But she didn't try

01:59:26.380 --> 01:59:28.939
to kill him. I'll do a triple. I'll do three

01:59:28.939 --> 01:59:31.640
in a row. Come on. You know they're going to

01:59:31.640 --> 01:59:35.020
make some fucking shit up on the show. His wife

01:59:35.020 --> 01:59:45.149
tried to get a contract on him. I feel it warming

01:59:45.149 --> 01:59:47.850
up on the palm of my hand. Yeah, so much of a

01:59:47.850 --> 01:59:50.229
fucking salute to Sam. This is fucking season.

01:59:50.409 --> 01:59:52.529
There you go. You want to see this shit? Aren't

01:59:52.529 --> 01:59:54.250
you kind of pissed that this is Sam's last season?

01:59:54.250 --> 01:59:56.090
So yeah, Casey, does it fucking bother you that

01:59:56.090 --> 02:00:00.689
the economy is crumbling and everyone else is

02:00:00.689 --> 02:00:03.039
fucking Sam? I love Sam Rosen. I want to get

02:00:03.039 --> 02:00:04.880
the it's a power play goal shirt. I feel like

02:00:04.880 --> 02:00:06.880
there's two podcasts going on. It's a power play

02:00:06.880 --> 02:00:09.659
goal. I'm just going to go to the fucking bathroom.

02:00:09.659 --> 02:00:12.159
You should fucking reel it in. You should reel

02:00:12.159 --> 02:00:13.960
it in. There's the podcast on that end of the

02:00:13.960 --> 02:00:16.199
table, and then the podcast on this end. There's

02:00:16.199 --> 02:00:19.880
the smart one, and then there's retards. Hey,

02:00:20.260 --> 02:00:23.100
hey, he fucking bumped me out of my seat, this

02:00:23.100 --> 02:00:25.850
douchebag. He usually sits here. You're the one

02:00:25.850 --> 02:00:27.409
that put the smell and salt here, and I have

02:00:27.409 --> 02:00:29.430
to take these at least 18 times tonight. Tyler

02:00:29.430 --> 02:00:32.710
says, no, this episode I sit in your seat, Allie

02:00:32.710 --> 02:00:34.210
Mack. I said, okay, whatever. Do you have any

02:00:34.210 --> 02:00:37.619
more games for us to play? Relax. We got Jeopardy,

02:00:37.619 --> 02:00:39.199
but like... No, we have to save that for the

02:00:39.199 --> 02:00:41.880
end. Should we go into the roast or what? Yeah,

02:00:41.880 --> 02:00:44.840
we can roast each other. I gotta take a piss

02:00:44.840 --> 02:00:47.380
from this. When are we going ghost hunting? When

02:00:47.380 --> 02:00:50.100
are we going ghost hunting? Shut the fuck up.

02:00:51.479 --> 02:00:53.579
Fuck's sake, why don't we take a break? We're

02:00:53.579 --> 02:00:55.710
taking a break. Let's take a break. And we'll

02:00:55.710 --> 02:00:57.949
go into the roast. Yeah, let's take a fucking

02:00:57.949 --> 02:01:00.489
break, Kyle. Let's fucking throw some fucking

02:01:00.489 --> 02:01:02.430
punches. We're going to throw fucking hands.

02:01:02.510 --> 02:01:04.329
How about that, Allie Mackey? I'm going to knock

02:01:04.329 --> 02:01:07.989
you the fuck out of your fucking bogey bag. You

02:01:07.989 --> 02:01:10.010
drove two and a half hours. You're driving a

02:01:10.010 --> 02:01:21.170
Casey, isn't it? I hate Teddy Wok. He sounds

02:01:21.170 --> 02:01:24.850
like a retard. Welcome back to another podcast.

02:01:25.810 --> 02:01:28.409
I'm just gonna Eric Randre this shit. Welcome,

02:01:28.529 --> 02:01:36.569
uh, Rose Master Kyle. That burned my fucking

02:01:36.569 --> 02:01:42.720
lip, dude. Fuck. That burned my lip, bro. Let's

02:01:42.720 --> 02:01:45.420
hear it for Christina Applegate. Holy fuck. What?

02:01:45.699 --> 02:01:48.659
For Christina Applegate. Wait, what about Christina

02:01:48.659 --> 02:01:50.560
Applegate? Let's hear it for Christina Applegate.

02:01:50.739 --> 02:01:53.380
Pull back. Pull back. Who is that? Let's hear

02:01:53.380 --> 02:02:00.399
it for Pretty Wild. Introducing the Roastmaster,

02:02:00.800 --> 02:02:05.340
Kyle. How we doing, fellas? I feel like I'm on

02:02:05.340 --> 02:02:10.149
AIDS. Welcome. Welcome to the episode number

02:02:10.149 --> 02:02:13.510
100 of the worst fucking podcast I've ever been

02:02:13.510 --> 02:02:16.250
on. Goddamn right. The Untitled Podcast. You

02:02:16.250 --> 02:02:18.109
guys are saying something because you came from

02:02:18.109 --> 02:02:21.989
years to come here. You guys are so fucking bad,

02:02:22.090 --> 02:02:23.670
you retards couldn't even come up with a fucking

02:02:23.670 --> 02:02:27.329
name. There's three Untitled Podcasts out there

02:02:27.329 --> 02:02:29.470
in the fucking Apple Podcasts. We're the best

02:02:29.470 --> 02:02:31.729
one. Yeah, we're the best fucking one. The best

02:02:31.729 --> 02:02:34.949
fucking one. We fucking buried those fucks. Anyways,

02:02:34.989 --> 02:02:38.579
so... Ask them where their 100th episode is,

02:02:38.640 --> 02:02:41.359
Kyle. You're not going to find an answer. Guess

02:02:41.359 --> 02:02:43.840
what? We're real big. We're built with big. Luckily.

02:02:44.060 --> 02:02:46.039
Luckily. Luckily. We're real big in Belgium.

02:02:46.140 --> 02:02:49.060
You guys have me here on the 100th episode. We're

02:02:49.060 --> 02:02:52.439
real big in Belgium. Of the third untitled podcast

02:02:52.439 --> 02:02:57.560
known to man. The best one. Producer Casey. What's

02:02:57.560 --> 02:03:00.960
meth? Why do you look like Dr. Phil two years

02:03:00.960 --> 02:03:04.699
after a fucking heroin bitch? Wait, did Dr. Phil

02:03:04.699 --> 02:03:07.079
do heroin? He looks like he is. If he did, he'd

02:03:07.079 --> 02:03:09.180
look like you. Nah, he'd look like Kid Rock.

02:03:09.420 --> 02:03:12.779
Have you seen Casey and Dr. Phil next to each

02:03:12.779 --> 02:03:15.079
other? No. Catch me outside, how about that?

02:03:16.479 --> 02:03:24.520
And we'll be right back. Holy shit, I'm so happy

02:03:24.520 --> 02:03:27.069
to be here. I'll be honest with you. When you

02:03:27.069 --> 02:03:28.770
guys told me I was coming here to do a fucking

02:03:28.770 --> 02:03:31.090
roast of Casey, and it was only Casey that told

02:03:31.090 --> 02:03:33.109
me I was coming here to do a roast of you. Everybody

02:03:33.109 --> 02:03:35.090
else was like, we're doing a roast? I said, yeah.

02:03:35.329 --> 02:03:37.109
I guess the jokes lined up for everybody. Why

02:03:37.109 --> 02:03:38.329
does it have to be a roast of me? Because you're

02:03:38.329 --> 02:03:40.149
a piece of shit, Casey. Have you seen the shit

02:03:40.149 --> 02:03:42.050
that you do, Casey? Casey, you're wearing a shirt

02:03:42.050 --> 02:03:44.289
with fucking Anne Frank and some fucking retard.

02:03:44.489 --> 02:03:47.109
Listen, Casey's so wrapped up in the 80s. You're

02:03:47.109 --> 02:03:50.050
like fucking... To all the fans out there, this

02:03:50.050 --> 02:03:52.729
may be the last episode. You're so wrapped up

02:03:52.729 --> 02:03:56.529
in fucking the 80s nostalgia. And you weren't

02:03:56.529 --> 02:03:58.470
even born then. You were like Mr. Garrison on

02:03:58.470 --> 02:04:00.890
that South Park episode where you tried to start

02:04:00.890 --> 02:04:03.470
a fucking Cold War again. I don't like the 80s.

02:04:03.489 --> 02:04:05.409
You don't like the 80s, but you certainly liked

02:04:05.409 --> 02:04:07.470
the Soviet Union. That fucking collapsed, didn't

02:04:07.470 --> 02:04:10.529
it? I liked the 70s and 60s. The 70s and 60s

02:04:10.529 --> 02:04:12.430
was the worst decade in United States history.

02:04:12.989 --> 02:04:16.510
My boy John Lennon. I fucking want John Lennon

02:04:16.510 --> 02:04:18.149
to fucking come back so I can shoot him again.

02:04:18.149 --> 02:04:20.229
We got Led Zeppelin out of the 70s, so I don't

02:04:20.229 --> 02:04:21.850
want to know about that. We got also Jim Morrison,

02:04:22.029 --> 02:04:24.310
one of my favorites. My parents were born in

02:04:24.310 --> 02:04:28.310
the 70s and whatever. Fuck them. I'm so happy

02:04:28.310 --> 02:04:30.909
to be here, right? It took a while for me to

02:04:30.909 --> 02:04:32.569
get up here and finally tell my fucking jokes.

02:04:33.649 --> 02:04:39.399
Yeah. What is wrong with you? Did your parents

02:04:39.399 --> 02:04:41.340
drink when you were in the womb? No, they absolutely

02:04:41.340 --> 02:04:44.300
did. Wow. You look like you have fetal alcohol.

02:04:44.300 --> 02:04:47.720
Why does your hairline start... Wow. What happened?

02:04:47.899 --> 02:04:50.600
Were you dropped dead? Are you here? Yeah, I

02:04:50.600 --> 02:04:54.859
can't believe it. You look like you're half Jew

02:04:54.859 --> 02:04:57.140
and half fucking Nazi. I don't understand how

02:04:57.140 --> 02:05:00.060
that works. All I'm saying is the hairline on

02:05:00.060 --> 02:05:01.819
the top of your head starts at the middle of

02:05:01.819 --> 02:05:04.210
your head. And the only other person I've ever

02:05:04.210 --> 02:05:06.430
met like that is fucking LeBron James. I don't

02:05:06.430 --> 02:05:09.609
feel bad about the jokes. He's talented and you're

02:05:09.609 --> 02:05:11.789
not. What the fuck have you done with your life,

02:05:11.909 --> 02:05:14.109
Casey? Jesus Christ. Casey, you got more hair

02:05:14.109 --> 02:05:15.810
on your face than you do on the top of your fucking

02:05:15.810 --> 02:05:18.229
head. All right, I feel like I have to jump in

02:05:18.229 --> 02:05:23.050
here. Casey is talented, all right? I walk in

02:05:23.050 --> 02:05:25.130
there, I start singing a song or some shit. See,

02:05:25.130 --> 02:05:28.640
this is the problem. Alleyback is a roast. You're

02:05:28.640 --> 02:05:31.720
supposed to be mean. I love Casey. That's the

02:05:31.720 --> 02:05:34.619
only good thing about him. I didn't want to participate

02:05:34.619 --> 02:05:38.260
either. But I do have something to say to Casey.

02:05:39.680 --> 02:05:42.380
I've seen you get so high you forget you're a

02:05:42.380 --> 02:05:46.180
human being. Okay, that's fair. That's fair.

02:05:46.539 --> 02:05:49.260
I can't let you administer life -saving medications

02:05:49.260 --> 02:05:52.159
in an emergency room. I wouldn't let you feed

02:05:52.159 --> 02:05:54.659
my fucking dog. So now that we've got everybody

02:05:54.659 --> 02:05:56.779
lined up here, we know the cast, and we've got

02:05:56.779 --> 02:05:59.979
everybody here, it's a roast of KC. I'd like

02:05:59.979 --> 02:06:02.319
to call up my first contestant to the stage.

02:06:04.460 --> 02:06:06.880
He's retarded. He's the most retarded person

02:06:06.880 --> 02:06:09.220
on this podcast. Not only that, we're all strong

02:06:09.220 --> 02:06:11.739
supporters of the North, aren't we, Casey? Right?

02:06:11.960 --> 02:06:14.840
You're a unionist. I'd say Dan is a unionist.

02:06:14.899 --> 02:06:17.939
Aliamak, unionist. This retard. The South will

02:06:17.939 --> 02:06:21.180
rise again. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

02:06:21.439 --> 02:06:25.000
This is my fucking time. All right? I'm not even

02:06:25.000 --> 02:06:30.000
offended. He's a confederate, all right? A confederate

02:06:30.000 --> 02:06:32.760
fucking retard. He admits he is. Not only did

02:06:32.760 --> 02:06:36.359
he suck her tranny dick, he looks like he has

02:06:36.359 --> 02:06:39.500
a tranny dick. It's Tyler Lee. Tyler, step up

02:06:39.500 --> 02:06:43.140
to the stage, baby. Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

02:06:43.939 --> 02:06:48.760
You know, I suck. Everybody hates me. Say that

02:06:48.760 --> 02:06:51.920
again. I suck, and everyone fucking hates me.

02:06:52.220 --> 02:06:55.600
Ain't that the truth? All right, Mac. I love

02:06:55.600 --> 02:06:57.380
you to death, but goddamn, you're wearing that

02:06:57.380 --> 02:06:59.939
Yankees hat with the World Series logo on it

02:06:59.939 --> 02:07:03.439
that they didn't win. They fucking made it, didn't

02:07:03.439 --> 02:07:04.880
they? They made it, but then they got fucking

02:07:04.880 --> 02:07:07.619
swept, like fucking disgusting pieces of shit.

02:07:07.659 --> 02:07:09.899
They did get swept. They did not get swept. Yeah,

02:07:09.960 --> 02:07:12.680
they got swept minus one game. Yeah, so it's

02:07:12.680 --> 02:07:16.180
not a sweep. Still just a sack. Fuck you, Allie

02:07:16.180 --> 02:07:19.680
Mack. Hey, fuck you, Kyle. We'll get to you.

02:07:19.899 --> 02:07:24.319
So my buddy here, Allie Mack, he... He says he's

02:07:24.319 --> 02:07:27.180
a Chargers fan, but then claims Buffalo as his

02:07:27.180 --> 02:07:31.439
team as well. You know, you go to more Buffalo

02:07:31.439 --> 02:07:33.279
games and you cheer for Buffalo more than you

02:07:33.279 --> 02:07:34.880
cheer for the fucking Chargers, and I don't know

02:07:34.880 --> 02:07:37.060
how the fuck that works. You say you're a Chargers

02:07:37.060 --> 02:07:38.800
fan, but I've never seen you wear a Chargers

02:07:38.800 --> 02:07:41.659
jersey. Dude, Dan's roast was fucking hilarious.

02:07:42.699 --> 02:07:47.779
So for the record, I actually have worn Chargers

02:07:47.779 --> 02:07:50.479
jerseys, several of them on the podcast. You'll

02:07:50.479 --> 02:07:52.989
have a chance to rebuttal. But also. But also,

02:07:53.250 --> 02:07:56.609
I don't work for the Chargers anymore. I've denounced

02:07:56.609 --> 02:07:58.750
the team because their ownership is a piece of

02:07:58.750 --> 02:08:01.750
scumbags. They fucking left San Diego against

02:08:01.750 --> 02:08:04.640
the team's will, and I've gone to... Buffalo

02:08:04.640 --> 02:08:07.039
Bills games my whole life, and my dad's a season

02:08:07.039 --> 02:08:10.300
ticket holder. I've since invested several thousand

02:08:10.300 --> 02:08:13.539
dollars into inheriting his PSL, his season ticket

02:08:13.539 --> 02:08:18.479
license, so that I have. So here's another thing

02:08:18.479 --> 02:08:21.100
that I think is fucking hysterical about Allie

02:08:21.100 --> 02:08:23.800
Mack. I've seen him drive, I think, about four

02:08:23.800 --> 02:08:27.439
cars now. When he was first starting medic school,

02:08:27.539 --> 02:08:30.880
he bought a big ass jacked up truck that he just

02:08:30.880 --> 02:08:33.739
decided to get rid of, you know, three months

02:08:33.739 --> 02:08:36.399
in because he was like, yeah, I just can't do

02:08:36.399 --> 02:08:38.579
it right now. And he goes, I had it for a year

02:08:38.579 --> 02:08:40.899
and a half. Give him his time. Give him his time.

02:08:41.079 --> 02:08:43.920
Then he comes back and he just goes, you know

02:08:43.920 --> 02:08:46.100
what? When I'm done with medic school, I'm going

02:08:46.100 --> 02:08:48.159
to get that truck back or I'm going to get another

02:08:48.159 --> 02:08:53.609
truck. And he still drives a fucking Prius. Speaking

02:08:53.609 --> 02:08:57.510
of Prius... Fucking Prius driving faggot. Speaking

02:08:57.510 --> 02:09:00.029
of Prius drivers, we got another Prius driver

02:09:00.029 --> 02:09:03.170
over here. Motherfucker comes in. I have the

02:09:03.170 --> 02:09:05.750
same exact Prius. He has a fucking Prius with

02:09:05.750 --> 02:09:07.829
fucking Metal Gear Solid stickers on the fucking

02:09:07.829 --> 02:09:10.289
back of it. Brother wants to take this fucking

02:09:10.289 --> 02:09:12.789
bitch out for a fucking dinner and then never

02:09:12.789 --> 02:09:15.699
call her again. You're not even going to fuck

02:09:15.699 --> 02:09:17.520
her because, you know, she's too good for you.

02:09:18.239 --> 02:09:20.279
You come in here. You got a fucking mustache,

02:09:20.500 --> 02:09:24.420
like fucking Ned Flanders. And, you know, and

02:09:24.420 --> 02:09:26.539
then you act like that makes you a better person.

02:09:26.579 --> 02:09:29.279
I feel like the mustache, like you try to feel

02:09:29.279 --> 02:09:31.579
like you're important. So you grow a mustache.

02:09:31.819 --> 02:09:33.920
And I think the mustache is a fucking compensation

02:09:33.920 --> 02:09:37.439
for the size of you. You're a little short. You're

02:09:37.439 --> 02:09:39.100
on the shorter end. And, you know, the mustache

02:09:39.100 --> 02:09:41.220
kind of. Helps out with that. But, you know,

02:09:41.260 --> 02:09:43.100
people are still looking at your height, even

02:09:43.100 --> 02:09:45.619
though you've got a pretty good mustache. And

02:09:45.619 --> 02:09:47.260
then, you know, I'm going to slide over. Have

02:09:47.260 --> 02:09:51.720
you guys ever watched a roast? So I'm going to

02:09:51.720 --> 02:09:55.920
slide over to our guest here, our roast master

02:09:55.920 --> 02:10:00.420
extreme. Here we go. And so this motherfucker,

02:10:00.720 --> 02:10:03.920
first time I met him, I thought he was a completely

02:10:03.920 --> 02:10:06.680
different person, you know. Kyle? Yeah, I thought

02:10:06.680 --> 02:10:09.170
he was fucking, you know. The other Kyle. Hey,

02:10:09.170 --> 02:10:11.470
buddy, we get it. It's a segue. Keep it moving.

02:10:11.569 --> 02:10:15.329
Come on. So this guy, when he walked in the room

02:10:15.329 --> 02:10:18.510
and when he came in today, I fucking thought

02:10:18.510 --> 02:10:21.430
there was an earthquake outside real quick. And

02:10:21.430 --> 02:10:24.409
this motherfucker comes in the house and he acts

02:10:24.409 --> 02:10:27.229
like he thought that it wasn't the right house

02:10:27.229 --> 02:10:28.949
at first. So he peeks his head and he's like,

02:10:29.029 --> 02:10:31.449
oh, I'm in the right house. But if this motherfucker

02:10:31.449 --> 02:10:33.489
went to the wrong house, he probably still would

02:10:33.489 --> 02:10:34.869
have just went in because that's just the type

02:10:34.869 --> 02:10:38.979
of person that he is. Fucking Allie Max over

02:10:38.979 --> 02:10:42.260
here trying to fucking... Fucking retard. Fucking...

02:10:42.260 --> 02:10:44.399
You're so crass. Are we roasting? What's going

02:10:44.399 --> 02:10:48.100
on? Have you ever washed a roast? It's a roast

02:10:48.100 --> 02:10:50.439
occasionally. We roast each other. You roast

02:10:50.439 --> 02:10:52.220
each other first and then you go... And then

02:10:52.220 --> 02:10:54.699
you go hard. And then you go... Or you just...

02:10:54.699 --> 02:10:57.800
If you're fucking retarded, you just hurl insults

02:10:57.800 --> 02:11:00.069
at each other. I mean, hurling insults is one

02:11:00.069 --> 02:11:03.770
of my favorite things to do. So, fucking, I get

02:11:03.770 --> 02:11:05.949
in my car, and I swear to God, every time I took

02:11:05.949 --> 02:11:09.430
a turn here. Hey, drop something. Every time

02:11:09.430 --> 02:11:11.949
I took a turn coming up here, my fucking car

02:11:11.949 --> 02:11:14.930
was leaning to his side. And I shit you not,

02:11:14.989 --> 02:11:17.350
that's an actual thing that happened. Like, I

02:11:17.350 --> 02:11:19.090
thought the wind was blowing. No, it was just

02:11:19.090 --> 02:11:22.430
pulling to his side. My poor fucking Subaru couldn't

02:11:22.430 --> 02:11:27.039
handle his girth. And then. To the man of the

02:11:27.039 --> 02:11:29.420
hour, the man of the podcast, the one who brought

02:11:29.420 --> 02:11:31.520
us all together, actually, because I didn't know

02:11:31.520 --> 02:11:34.359
Dan from fucking Adam when we first started doing

02:11:34.359 --> 02:11:37.760
this. Our good old Casey O 'Neill. Now, Casey

02:11:37.760 --> 02:11:40.340
O 'Neill, he comes from fucking Voorheesville,

02:11:40.380 --> 02:11:44.500
which is, you know, God's asshole. Disgusting

02:11:44.500 --> 02:11:47.460
people and disgusting humans all come from there.

02:11:47.880 --> 02:11:50.600
Every person that I know that came from Voorheesville

02:11:50.600 --> 02:11:52.600
is a human piece of garbage. I agree with that.

02:11:52.840 --> 02:11:54.779
How many people do you know? Fucking... Casey

02:11:54.779 --> 02:11:57.100
thinks that smoking weed is a personality trait.

02:11:58.920 --> 02:12:02.380
Basically, I remember before he smoked weed every

02:12:02.380 --> 02:12:07.359
day like Snoop Dogg does, he looked more high

02:12:07.359 --> 02:12:09.960
when I was working with him than when he was

02:12:09.960 --> 02:12:12.819
actually high. I thought that he came into work

02:12:12.819 --> 02:12:15.340
high every single day. Motherfucker wears tie

02:12:15.340 --> 02:12:18.000
-dye shirts every single day like it's the fucking

02:12:18.000 --> 02:12:21.079
60s. And I don't know if he owns a shirt that's

02:12:21.079 --> 02:12:25.340
not tie -dye. Fucking my friend here, fucking

02:12:25.340 --> 02:12:29.359
Mr. Bald McGee over here. Fucking I wish that,

02:12:29.420 --> 02:12:31.539
you know, you just wore a toupee because if you

02:12:31.539 --> 02:12:34.720
did, it might make you a slightly better person.

02:12:34.899 --> 02:12:38.840
That was great. But at the end of this, you always

02:12:38.840 --> 02:12:41.020
got to say something nice about the fucking the

02:12:41.020 --> 02:12:44.479
person that you got here. And I really appreciate

02:12:44.479 --> 02:12:46.640
you taking me under your wing when you first

02:12:46.640 --> 02:12:48.699
started, when I first started at Mohawk. And

02:12:48.699 --> 02:12:51.239
I'm really happy to have you as my friend. However.

02:12:52.530 --> 02:12:54.829
You're still a bald piece of shit. Thanks, Tyler.

02:12:56.930 --> 02:13:00.029
Wow. That was powerful. That was powerful. I

02:13:00.029 --> 02:13:03.270
feel like it kind of really, really targeted

02:13:03.270 --> 02:13:06.390
in on Casey for the most part. That's the point.

02:13:06.670 --> 02:13:08.210
Because it should have if you were to watch a

02:13:08.210 --> 02:13:11.569
roast. Oh, I forgot. As your roast master general.

02:13:11.909 --> 02:13:14.149
I'm honored to be roasted. Ali Mack, fuck you.

02:13:14.510 --> 02:13:18.270
Fuck you, you fat fuck. Anyways. Okay. Casey.

02:13:20.070 --> 02:13:22.609
I'll be honest with you, Casey. I swear to God,

02:13:22.630 --> 02:13:26.829
if you got any uglier. We were talking about

02:13:26.829 --> 02:13:30.189
fucking trainees going wild and crack whore confessions.

02:13:30.350 --> 02:13:32.890
Crack whore confessions is still wild to me.

02:13:32.989 --> 02:13:34.890
You're the producer of crack whore confessions.

02:13:35.090 --> 02:13:37.210
Because not only is your dick too small to be

02:13:37.210 --> 02:13:41.390
in the fucking porno, you're too fucking ugly

02:13:41.390 --> 02:13:43.250
to have your goddamn face on the fucking screen.

02:13:43.489 --> 02:13:46.350
Jesus Christ. I guarantee you he has a fucking

02:13:46.350 --> 02:13:51.739
Frankenstein collar. Fuck you, Allie Mac. All

02:13:51.739 --> 02:13:53.380
right. I'm just going to tell you that. Dan,

02:13:53.579 --> 02:13:58.939
look at you. I'm fucking you. I would. And I

02:13:58.939 --> 02:13:59.939
don't want to give you too many compliments.

02:14:00.020 --> 02:14:01.840
You wouldn't do anything because I'm on top.

02:14:03.659 --> 02:14:08.420
I'm the one who fucks. I'm the one who fucks.

02:14:08.420 --> 02:14:11.439
Not only have you been taking those epic for

02:14:11.439 --> 02:14:14.739
two years and you have those epic face, you obviously,

02:14:14.899 --> 02:14:18.340
as Tyler alluded to, took a. plant B for whatever,

02:14:18.539 --> 02:14:22.100
six weeks. And now you took the testosterone.

02:14:22.119 --> 02:14:25.140
You have a great mustache. Thank you. Yeah. But

02:14:25.140 --> 02:14:27.659
you're short. All right. That's how I make up

02:14:27.659 --> 02:14:32.659
for it. You're cock small. You're not going to

02:14:32.659 --> 02:14:35.380
get any pussy because of it. What is around your

02:14:35.380 --> 02:14:40.680
ears? Hey, don't, don't you shit on Dan for that.

02:14:41.220 --> 02:14:44.630
We support him for that. Dan was just telling

02:14:44.630 --> 02:14:46.550
us down there, Ali Mack, what, that he's a little

02:14:46.550 --> 02:14:48.130
tired and he wanted to go to bed? Can't hang

02:14:48.130 --> 02:14:51.329
with the boys? He did say something along those

02:14:51.329 --> 02:14:53.710
lines. But I will say, Dan, you're a handsome

02:14:53.710 --> 02:14:56.029
man. You're more handsome than I remember you

02:14:56.029 --> 02:14:59.750
being. You're more handsome than the rest of

02:14:59.750 --> 02:15:02.229
us. Yeah, you're a fucking diamond in the rough

02:15:02.229 --> 02:15:04.210
here. We're all cold. It's not saying anything.

02:15:05.810 --> 02:15:09.550
The rest of the pod, we're pretty fucking fat

02:15:09.550 --> 02:15:13.819
and ugly. Dan and I like to welcome Dan to the

02:15:13.819 --> 02:15:18.340
stage. Oh, hey. Alright, so I already threw my

02:15:18.340 --> 02:15:23.680
insult at Casey. He seemed to like that. Tyler,

02:15:24.020 --> 02:15:26.979
we'll start with you. This is going to be a quick

02:15:26.979 --> 02:15:30.539
thing for each person. If people accuse me of

02:15:30.539 --> 02:15:33.159
looking like a lesbian, I don't think getting

02:15:33.159 --> 02:15:36.359
my ears pierced would be the move. Just saying.

02:15:37.880 --> 02:15:41.579
That's a good one. That's a good one. You look

02:15:41.579 --> 02:15:44.140
like a fat fucking lesbian. You look like a fat

02:15:44.140 --> 02:15:46.760
fucking lesbian. I know. I've said it myself.

02:15:47.319 --> 02:15:50.720
I do look like a lesbian. But Tyler, we love

02:15:50.720 --> 02:15:54.949
you. You're the man. Ally Mac. Your fucking girlfriend

02:15:54.949 --> 02:15:58.710
is like a fucking ten and a half. How the fuck

02:15:58.710 --> 02:16:02.050
did that happen? Because I'm a nice guy. I'm

02:16:02.050 --> 02:16:05.149
the one nice guy who finished first. That doesn't

02:16:05.149 --> 02:16:06.869
last very long. She's going to cheat on you.

02:16:06.930 --> 02:16:09.750
It's lasted three years. We're all confused about

02:16:09.750 --> 02:16:11.569
that. No, I'm just joking. Dude, I didn't want

02:16:11.569 --> 02:16:14.189
to do this, right? Because I hate talking shit

02:16:14.189 --> 02:16:15.750
about people, but Ally Mack, you're a fucking

02:16:15.750 --> 02:16:20.770
man. I encourage you. You're the man. I still

02:16:20.770 --> 02:16:23.630
don't know how you do it. We're just fucking

02:16:23.630 --> 02:16:26.270
with you. You're fucking handsome as fuck. But

02:16:26.270 --> 02:16:28.989
when you shaved the mustache, I don't know. You

02:16:28.989 --> 02:16:33.489
then went downhill pretty quick. Kyle, you're

02:16:33.489 --> 02:16:38.340
like... to this podcast. You keep coming back

02:16:38.340 --> 02:16:42.079
and when it happens no one's as thrilled about

02:16:42.079 --> 02:16:45.159
it. It was a good time once. It was a good time

02:16:45.159 --> 02:16:50.979
once. But I never go away. I'm fucking with you.

02:16:52.500 --> 02:16:55.860
You're the man. You're a character. You bring

02:16:55.860 --> 02:16:58.940
the comedic relief here. This is a very serious

02:16:58.940 --> 02:17:01.100
podcast. He probably does have some warts on

02:17:01.100 --> 02:17:02.959
his cock, though. We've got to be honest. I have

02:17:02.959 --> 02:17:07.360
had herpes a couple times. Herpes just doesn't

02:17:07.360 --> 02:17:09.379
go away. We actually had one from the listeners.

02:17:10.190 --> 02:17:12.690
They said, when you do the roast of Kyle, say

02:17:12.690 --> 02:17:15.989
this one. And it was pretty fucking bad. I don't

02:17:15.989 --> 02:17:17.930
know if I should do it. Say it now. I want to

02:17:17.930 --> 02:17:19.610
hear it. I want to hear it. You're going to say,

02:17:19.649 --> 02:17:21.709
I haven't heard it before. I just say it. It's

02:17:21.709 --> 02:17:24.290
from the listeners, not you. This is from the

02:17:24.290 --> 02:17:29.129
fans. Which one? One of the fans said, some of

02:17:29.129 --> 02:17:50.190
us wish that the gun didn't jam. I can't wait

02:17:50.190 --> 02:17:57.370
to fuck your mouth tonight. Oh, man, that's a

02:17:57.370 --> 02:18:01.190
good one. But we all know that's not true. Very

02:18:01.190 --> 02:18:05.069
happy you're here. God, I guess that leaves me.

02:18:06.459 --> 02:18:09.559
No, well, he sent in Casey. Yeah, you got to

02:18:09.559 --> 02:18:13.180
throw one more. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. You got to

02:18:13.180 --> 02:18:15.799
throw one more bomb at Casey. Yeah, go for it.

02:18:16.059 --> 02:18:19.319
Me? I don't really have one more for Casey. You

02:18:19.319 --> 02:18:21.680
got to throw one more bomb at him. You can figure

02:18:21.680 --> 02:18:23.420
out something. He's a mess. No, I got nothing.

02:18:23.700 --> 02:18:26.020
You done? You done? Yeah, I'm done. Is the roast

02:18:26.020 --> 02:18:28.159
to Casey? You don't got nothing for Casey. I

02:18:28.159 --> 02:18:30.559
already sent mine to Casey. Tyler, give me a

02:18:30.559 --> 02:18:33.969
big smile, big toothy smile. You guys ever seen

02:18:33.969 --> 02:18:36.069
a crayon box of crayons full of yellow crayons?

02:18:36.129 --> 02:18:40.010
Oh, yeah. All right. I guess I'll start now.

02:18:40.090 --> 02:18:43.030
Anyways. Fuck you, Allie Mack. It's my fucking

02:18:43.030 --> 02:18:45.110
turn. It's my fucking turn. It's my fucking turn.

02:18:45.649 --> 02:18:52.360
It's my fucking turn. Christ alive. Well, you

02:18:52.360 --> 02:19:01.840
got someone to fuck you damn I can see why Anyways

02:19:01.840 --> 02:19:10.180
Casey I Understand that you tried Rogan a couple

02:19:10.180 --> 02:19:14.879
times. I actually did. Yeah. Yeah For like a

02:19:14.879 --> 02:19:19.040
few days No, well, no the issue is Rogan is purely

02:19:20.000 --> 02:19:22.879
built on fucking capitalism and, you know, you're

02:19:22.879 --> 02:19:25.139
stuck on this idea of fucking sickle and cross.

02:19:25.459 --> 02:19:28.600
Turn around again. Turn around. What? Turn around.

02:19:28.979 --> 02:19:31.440
What? Somebody could get stranded on that fucking

02:19:31.440 --> 02:19:34.680
island. If you were on fucking sea and got on

02:19:34.680 --> 02:19:36.719
that island right there, that's Gilligan's Island

02:19:36.719 --> 02:19:39.319
through and through. Fuck you. Fuck you, Allie

02:19:39.319 --> 02:19:42.299
Mack. Go fuck yourself, Allie Mack. What's that

02:19:42.299 --> 02:19:46.159
other medication? That, uh... What, Ozempic,

02:19:46.159 --> 02:19:47.899
the one you took? No, Finasteride. Isn't that

02:19:47.899 --> 02:19:49.700
another one you can do? Yeah. My favorite. Does

02:19:49.700 --> 02:19:53.760
that work? When do you... It's pronounced Finasteride.

02:19:54.379 --> 02:19:57.299
Casey, when do you decide to just... When do

02:19:57.299 --> 02:19:59.299
you decide to give it up? and just shave it off

02:19:59.299 --> 02:20:03.260
now a long time ago yeah yeah anyways Casey you

02:20:03.260 --> 02:20:05.979
look like you smell like fucking pickles hey

02:20:05.979 --> 02:20:11.459
I don't look like Post Malone anyways wow you

02:20:11.459 --> 02:20:16.899
give off pickle smell vibes the fuck first time

02:20:16.899 --> 02:20:22.069
first time long time listener Kyle Hello, Kyle.

02:20:23.829 --> 02:20:27.329
Hi, Kyle. I just want to give it up to the only

02:20:27.329 --> 02:20:30.930
real ugly fat fuck friend stealing scumbag. Fuck

02:20:30.930 --> 02:20:33.809
you, Allie Mack. Cheers. Fuck you, Allie Mack.

02:20:33.809 --> 02:20:36.530
Cheers, everybody. Fuck you, Allie Mack. Step

02:20:36.530 --> 02:20:39.569
up to the stage. Hello. Nice to meet you, everybody.

02:20:40.010 --> 02:20:45.309
You haven't heard from me in a while. Thank you.

02:20:46.079 --> 02:20:49.299
Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Appreciate it.

02:20:49.459 --> 02:20:56.399
Boo. Boo. Look at his tit. Look at his tit. Look

02:20:56.399 --> 02:21:10.040
at his tit. Cheers. I'll fill it. I forgot to

02:21:10.040 --> 02:21:12.459
steal the pint. All right, Fisher Price, got

02:21:12.459 --> 02:21:17.229
you. Come on, roast us, bro. All right, man.

02:21:17.950 --> 02:21:21.920
Yeah, let me start off with you. All right. Mister,

02:21:22.120 --> 02:21:24.459
I'm a little bit older than everybody else, so

02:21:24.459 --> 02:21:28.459
I know everything. All right. Reeling in with

02:21:28.459 --> 02:21:31.719
a, I got life advice for every motherfucker on

02:21:31.719 --> 02:21:33.840
this podcast, and if they don't listen to me,

02:21:33.940 --> 02:21:36.299
they're all fucking stupid. Well, let me tell

02:21:36.299 --> 02:21:40.200
you, if I invested in Tesla and I kept my money

02:21:40.200 --> 02:21:43.860
in that shit, I'd be a fucking goner, dude. I'd

02:21:43.860 --> 02:21:47.760
be living on fucking South Pearl Street right

02:21:47.760 --> 02:21:50.840
now. For the record, yes. Investing a dollar.

02:21:50.920 --> 02:21:53.700
$25 in Tassel would have got you nowhere. Yeah,

02:21:53.739 --> 02:21:57.219
thank you. Appreciate it, Kyle. You have no fucking...

02:21:57.219 --> 02:22:02.059
Fuck you, Ali Mack! All right, fuck me. All right,

02:22:02.079 --> 02:22:08.180
fuck me. This is 95 % of my jokes. Dan, you're

02:22:08.180 --> 02:22:10.239
a tough motherfucker to come after because, god

02:22:10.239 --> 02:22:13.459
damn, are you handsome. I'd like to reference

02:22:13.459 --> 02:22:16.200
what I said before. When I look at you, dude,

02:22:16.440 --> 02:22:20.879
you just seem like the type of... Just your face.

02:22:20.979 --> 02:22:23.520
You just look like the type of porn star that

02:22:23.520 --> 02:22:26.040
just goes in and cocks people. Jesus Christ.

02:22:26.040 --> 02:22:28.319
You just go in and you fucking steal people's

02:22:28.319 --> 02:22:30.379
girlfriends. And I just don't know if I can forgive

02:22:30.379 --> 02:22:33.159
you for that. What have I said to you? You're

02:22:33.159 --> 02:22:35.299
not tall enough. No, no, not what you said to

02:22:35.299 --> 02:22:36.639
me. You're not tall enough. All right, Tyler,

02:22:36.920 --> 02:22:41.489
for you. I feel like 99 .9 % of the shit that

02:22:41.489 --> 02:22:43.629
has ever came out of your mouth has been completely

02:22:43.629 --> 02:22:50.530
false. Yeah, that's probably true. I've had actual

02:22:50.530 --> 02:22:53.649
conversations with you before after the podcast

02:22:53.649 --> 02:22:57.370
where you have been like trying to fucking personalize

02:22:57.370 --> 02:22:59.770
yourself and just being like, what was real?

02:22:59.829 --> 02:23:02.909
What wasn't? And I'll be like, bro, the story

02:23:02.909 --> 02:23:05.090
you told in that podcast straight up did not

02:23:05.090 --> 02:23:07.860
happen. You said I was there. That never happened.

02:23:08.059 --> 02:23:10.360
I don't know what's going on. Brain damage is

02:23:10.360 --> 02:23:14.659
a hell of a thing. Like, dude, you never got

02:23:14.659 --> 02:23:17.420
shots fired at you at Mohawk. I'm sorry. Oh,

02:23:17.420 --> 02:23:21.040
fuck. That never happened. Oh, fuck. Shots fucking

02:23:21.040 --> 02:23:24.180
fired. Dude, that never happened. You may never

02:23:24.180 --> 02:23:26.079
have shots fired at you at Mohawk, but you just

02:23:26.079 --> 02:23:28.559
got shots fired at you now. That didn't happen.

02:23:29.200 --> 02:23:31.719
That being said, Tyler, I've gone through some

02:23:31.719 --> 02:23:34.520
of the most traumatic memories of my entire life

02:23:34.520 --> 02:23:37.700
with you. Mostly over the course of a single

02:23:37.700 --> 02:23:40.719
night, which is hysterical. Which is absolutely

02:23:40.719 --> 02:23:44.299
hysterical. That was one of the most single worst

02:23:44.299 --> 02:23:46.899
moments of my entire life. This was such a traumatizing

02:23:46.899 --> 02:23:48.739
experience. I fell asleep while you guys were

02:23:48.739 --> 02:23:51.799
telling it. Kyle, you looked like you were looking

02:23:51.799 --> 02:23:58.250
at me. All right, Kyle. In for you. For somebody

02:23:58.250 --> 02:24:01.149
who let off with the line of, oh, Allie Mac,

02:24:01.350 --> 02:24:04.090
the fat fuck that replaced me. I thought I was

02:24:04.090 --> 02:24:06.770
going to walk in to see somebody who was of equal

02:24:06.770 --> 02:24:09.530
proportions to me. Don't get me wrong. Don't

02:24:09.530 --> 02:24:12.610
get me wrong. I know I'm one fat fuck. But goddamn,

02:24:12.930 --> 02:24:16.329
do I feel like you are screaming at me from a

02:24:16.329 --> 02:24:19.450
different stature here. All right. You're in

02:24:19.450 --> 02:24:23.219
a different stratosphere, bro. No, no, I want

02:24:23.219 --> 02:24:25.200
to see a different stratosphere because we both

02:24:25.200 --> 02:24:27.700
like our food. We clearly both like our fucking

02:24:27.700 --> 02:24:31.420
beer. All right. We got a gaggle of cans in front

02:24:31.420 --> 02:24:33.540
of him. We got a gaggle in front of cans in front

02:24:33.540 --> 02:24:35.659
of me. The only difference is that I have the

02:24:35.659 --> 02:24:40.319
shame to throw them in the garbage can. But here

02:24:40.319 --> 02:24:44.440
we are. Oh, shit. And Casey, now I move on to

02:24:44.440 --> 02:24:46.620
you. You're a fucking hard person because goddamn,

02:24:46.760 --> 02:24:50.540
Casey, you have picked me up in the highest of

02:24:50.540 --> 02:24:54.459
highs. In the lowest of lows. I have seen the

02:24:54.459 --> 02:24:58.299
worst shit of my entire life, past even what

02:24:58.299 --> 02:25:03.069
I had seen with Tyler. Damn. Goddamn. You have

02:25:03.069 --> 02:25:05.870
got to be the most emotionally disconnected person

02:25:05.870 --> 02:25:09.469
I have ever met in my entire life. Because some

02:25:09.469 --> 02:25:11.649
of the fucking jokes that you have made after

02:25:11.649 --> 02:25:14.989
the most soul -crushing EMS call I have ever

02:25:14.989 --> 02:25:18.129
been on have been so putrid. So fucking horrible.

02:25:18.469 --> 02:25:22.870
That was actually some of my best material. It

02:25:22.870 --> 02:25:27.030
is, and that's the best part. That is your best

02:25:27.030 --> 02:25:29.629
fucking material, and that is why I love you.

02:25:29.809 --> 02:25:33.260
But holy shit, I cannot. imagine another human

02:25:33.260 --> 02:25:36.219
being on this planet making the jokes that you

02:25:36.219 --> 02:25:38.600
do after one of the most traumatic experiences

02:25:38.600 --> 02:25:41.920
I've had as a human being. And it is great. It

02:25:41.920 --> 02:25:44.799
is great. And that is why you're one of my goddamn

02:25:44.799 --> 02:25:50.360
best friends. Watching you pick up the reeds.

02:25:50.600 --> 02:25:53.000
Watching you pick up the reeds with brain matter

02:25:53.000 --> 02:25:55.899
still on it after me telling you that there wasn't

02:25:55.899 --> 02:25:58.739
any going. Oh, fuck! There's still brains on

02:25:58.739 --> 02:26:01.569
it. Made it all fucking worth it. That was one

02:26:01.569 --> 02:26:04.389
of the funniest moments of my entire life. And

02:26:04.389 --> 02:26:07.209
nobody would understand that, but that was great.

02:26:07.510 --> 02:26:10.010
We're not just going to put the body back, are

02:26:10.010 --> 02:26:12.530
we? That was one of the funniest, like, that's

02:26:12.530 --> 02:26:14.850
just a sidebar there. Because we are going to

02:26:14.850 --> 02:26:17.889
just put him in the fucking car, are we? That's

02:26:17.889 --> 02:26:19.809
what he said. We're going to put him back in

02:26:19.809 --> 02:26:22.569
the SUV. It was like, turtle, what? What the

02:26:22.569 --> 02:26:24.649
fuck are you talking about? Don't drop names.

02:26:24.870 --> 02:26:27.270
Don't drop names. That's not his name. We all

02:26:27.270 --> 02:26:32.229
know who he is. His name is... But yeah, fucking

02:26:32.229 --> 02:26:34.389
motherfucker was like looking at the car and

02:26:34.389 --> 02:26:36.870
looking at the corpse. He's like, are we going

02:26:36.870 --> 02:26:40.729
to put it back in? Thank you. Thank you, Ali

02:26:40.729 --> 02:26:44.309
Mack. Thank you, Ali Mack. No problem. Thank

02:26:44.309 --> 02:26:48.290
you, everybody. Tyler. Thank you all, one of

02:26:48.290 --> 02:26:51.090
our listeners. I'm looking at you, Mike Colosino.

02:26:51.430 --> 02:26:54.049
Send us an email. I know you're the only one

02:26:54.049 --> 02:26:56.489
who listens to us, except maybe one of us after

02:26:56.489 --> 02:26:58.770
the episode is published. Thank you, Belgians,

02:26:58.790 --> 02:27:01.090
for whatever reason you like us. Thank you, Belgium.

02:27:01.190 --> 02:27:04.469
We're so glad that whatever AI fucking shell

02:27:04.469 --> 02:27:08.129
company is running out of there. Tyler, good

02:27:08.129 --> 02:27:12.229
reviews. Everybody tells me I look like an old

02:27:12.229 --> 02:27:17.930
degenerate. Thank you. You. My friend, you look

02:27:17.930 --> 02:27:20.170
like the 14 -year -old boy Ellen DeGeneres locked

02:27:20.170 --> 02:27:22.690
inside of a fucking sex dungeon. 14 -year -old

02:27:22.690 --> 02:27:25.610
girl. She's a lesbian. She cut your dick off

02:27:25.610 --> 02:27:27.229
and ate your pussy. All right? I don't want to

02:27:27.229 --> 02:27:33.270
hear it. My fucking pussy. Faggot. Casey, I know

02:27:33.270 --> 02:27:36.709
that your dick hasn't worked since 2013. Just

02:27:36.709 --> 02:27:40.180
looking at you. For the love of God, why didn't

02:27:40.180 --> 02:27:41.879
you get a fucking baseline for your testosterone?

02:27:43.100 --> 02:27:49.180
Oh, my God. It's obvious it's low. You could

02:27:49.180 --> 02:27:50.879
have done some things to correct this, but you've

02:27:50.879 --> 02:27:54.280
gone too fucking far. How long before you sit

02:27:54.280 --> 02:27:56.000
on the porch and fucking yell at the fucking

02:27:56.000 --> 02:27:59.559
blacks? This neighborhood used to be a good fucking

02:27:59.559 --> 02:28:01.920
neighborhood until you guys moved in. He does

02:28:01.920 --> 02:28:04.319
hate his neighbors who are colored. Obviously.

02:28:04.600 --> 02:28:07.059
Look at him. All right. In all fairness, his

02:28:07.059 --> 02:28:09.260
neighbors are assholes. Fuck you, Allie Mack.

02:28:09.719 --> 02:28:11.879
Fuck you, Allie Mack. I'll tell you that right

02:28:11.879 --> 02:28:14.100
now. Fuck you, Allie Mack. I'm done. I didn't

02:28:14.100 --> 02:28:18.399
say nothing. I'm out. Have you seen his girlfriend?

02:28:20.329 --> 02:28:22.069
She's fucking hot. She's a good looking girl.

02:28:22.069 --> 02:28:23.569
Have you seen what I'm going to do to you later?

02:28:23.610 --> 02:28:25.889
She's a fucking bitch. You ain't doing shit to

02:28:25.889 --> 02:28:27.850
me, bro. Dude, you have a fucking chode. What

02:28:27.850 --> 02:28:29.750
the fuck are you talking about? I have a chode.

02:28:29.829 --> 02:28:33.190
I might have a chode, but I'll get it past his

02:28:33.190 --> 02:28:37.629
teeth. I'll get it past his teeth. I swear to

02:28:37.629 --> 02:28:39.610
God, bro, you couldn't look any more feminine

02:28:39.610 --> 02:28:41.629
than you fucking could try. Look at those fucking

02:28:41.629 --> 02:28:45.049
gay ass earrings. What are you doing? Suck the

02:28:45.049 --> 02:28:47.510
dick. You absolutely have sucked the dick. You

02:28:47.510 --> 02:28:49.770
ate a tranny pussy. I did eat a tranny pussy.

02:28:49.770 --> 02:28:54.030
Fuck me. She has a dick now. No, she still doesn't.

02:28:54.049 --> 02:28:57.049
Oh, fucking Christ. Good tits my ass. Look at

02:28:57.049 --> 02:29:00.690
you. If you had a pussy, I'd believe it. Ali

02:29:00.690 --> 02:29:02.190
Mack, am I going too hard on the girlfriend?

02:29:03.360 --> 02:29:04.799
What? Am I going too hard on the girlfriend?

02:29:04.799 --> 02:29:07.819
I think you're okay, dude. Me? Yeah. No, I don't

02:29:07.819 --> 02:29:09.799
get it. That was the one I felt most bad about.

02:29:09.860 --> 02:29:11.940
No, bro. I got you. Because you're the fucking

02:29:11.940 --> 02:29:16.700
man. Hang on. Hang on. Dan, Dan. Hold on a second.

02:29:16.840 --> 02:29:19.739
Dan, hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang

02:29:19.739 --> 02:29:23.500
on. Fuck you, Allie Mack. Fuck you. Anyways,

02:29:23.780 --> 02:29:26.969
Casey. I swear to God. Did you get those jeans

02:29:26.969 --> 02:29:29.989
from fucking L .L. Bean's fucking old man category?

02:29:30.190 --> 02:29:32.770
There's no fucking wash on them, bro. He ordered

02:29:32.770 --> 02:29:35.030
them from the catalog, dude. At this point in

02:29:35.030 --> 02:29:37.129
time. He's got a shirt with a rapper and Anne

02:29:37.129 --> 02:29:39.629
Frank on it. And fucking Franklin goes after

02:29:39.629 --> 02:29:44.010
the jeans. Casey not only has a shirt. We got

02:29:44.010 --> 02:29:46.229
Anne Frank that's making fucking Tyler horny.

02:29:46.489 --> 02:29:48.870
It's not making me horny. I fucking had my sexual

02:29:48.870 --> 02:29:51.370
awakening that diary of Anne Frank. Look at his

02:29:51.370 --> 02:29:54.149
jeans, bro. They haven't even been in a washer

02:29:54.149 --> 02:29:57.879
yet. They're so blue. Damn, some blue jeans,

02:29:58.120 --> 02:30:01.659
boss. Look at you. Jesus Christ. Dan, I got a

02:30:01.659 --> 02:30:02.840
question for you. You could be the greatest comeback

02:30:02.840 --> 02:30:05.920
ever if you grew so fucking arrogant. What's

02:30:05.920 --> 02:30:07.100
Abraham Lincoln like? What's Abraham Lincoln

02:30:07.100 --> 02:30:09.639
like? Because you're so fucking old, man. Anyways,

02:30:09.860 --> 02:30:13.020
anyways, anyways, as we settle down. Fuck you,

02:30:13.040 --> 02:30:16.899
Allie Mack. Fuck you. Fuck you. It's always like

02:30:16.899 --> 02:30:19.739
three. You start off really angry. I see what

02:30:19.739 --> 02:30:24.719
you're talking about. Hang on. There's one more.

02:30:25.600 --> 02:30:28.399
Fuck you, Allie Mack. I'm in jeopardy. Let me

02:30:28.399 --> 02:30:34.159
hear it. As I introduce here, the man of the

02:30:34.159 --> 02:30:36.479
roast, the man of the hour, the man that got

02:30:36.479 --> 02:30:39.620
us together here. Here we go. Ugly ass. Casey

02:30:39.620 --> 02:30:41.819
O 'Neill. I didn't say anything good about Casey.

02:30:42.040 --> 02:30:44.459
I feel like I should have. Do you want me to

02:30:44.459 --> 02:30:46.639
fucking roast you, Daniel? Casey, you're like

02:30:46.639 --> 02:30:52.059
a literal fucking savant. You know that? Why

02:30:52.059 --> 02:30:53.860
don't you say what you say about him in the group

02:30:53.860 --> 02:30:57.000
chat? I don't know. Why do I say that? He can't

02:30:57.000 --> 02:31:00.159
see. Kyle, I appreciate it, but did you know

02:31:00.159 --> 02:31:03.120
testosterone or hair loss is actually caused

02:31:03.120 --> 02:31:09.129
by high testosterone, not low testosterone? You

02:31:09.129 --> 02:31:10.629
might have known that if you didn't spend four

02:31:10.629 --> 02:31:25.530
months in rehab. That's wild. That is a wild

02:31:25.530 --> 02:31:30.989
clapback. Holy fuck. KCL is not expecting that.

02:31:31.030 --> 02:31:36.370
That was good. Holy fuck. That was good. Thanks.

02:31:36.770 --> 02:31:40.709
You know. When I was a kid, I got bullied a lot.

02:31:41.290 --> 02:31:44.389
No doubt. Look at you. When you guys roast me,

02:31:44.549 --> 02:31:48.149
I really don't fucking care. I can give a shit.

02:31:48.389 --> 02:31:52.350
When I first met Ali Mack, I thought he was gay.

02:31:54.360 --> 02:31:56.180
Now that I got to know him, I can say that's

02:31:56.180 --> 02:32:02.899
100 % true. Fuck you, Allie Mack! Fuck you! You

02:32:02.899 --> 02:32:06.319
know, they say the hottest girlfriends are in

02:32:06.319 --> 02:32:09.700
the closet, so that's Allie Mack. Allie Mack

02:32:09.700 --> 02:32:13.159
is so gay that Dan sucked his cock and he liked

02:32:13.159 --> 02:32:19.590
it. I don't get it, man. It's true. It's on the

02:32:19.590 --> 02:32:21.989
podcast. It's true. It's on the podcast. It's

02:32:21.989 --> 02:32:24.370
true. I don't get it. It's on the podcast. It's

02:32:24.370 --> 02:32:27.090
true. Because he's not a train. It's on the podcast.

02:32:27.149 --> 02:32:32.590
It's true. And he's going, why? Ally Mac, if

02:32:32.590 --> 02:32:35.469
you were on Crack Horn Confessions, I would jerk

02:32:35.469 --> 02:32:39.069
off to you. Fuck you, Ally Mac. All right. Ally

02:32:39.069 --> 02:32:43.049
Mac sits on the fence like he sits on Big Black

02:32:43.049 --> 02:32:51.639
Cox. Be funny. Tyler, who's actually worse at

02:32:51.639 --> 02:32:56.120
killing himself than Kyle. And he looks more

02:32:56.120 --> 02:33:03.920
like Ellen than Kyle. Tyler is so retarded. He

02:33:03.920 --> 02:33:06.559
got rejected from the special Olympics. I did.

02:33:06.719 --> 02:33:11.459
I did. I tried. You fucking came into this podcast

02:33:11.459 --> 02:33:14.040
with a fucking earrings in both ears. Are you

02:33:14.040 --> 02:33:16.299
trying to be Eminem or Elton John? I can't tell.

02:33:16.879 --> 02:33:19.079
It's more of an Elton John. I feel like he's

02:33:19.079 --> 02:33:22.819
fabulous. Play the piano, the piano man. Oh,

02:33:22.819 --> 02:33:26.959
that's fucking. That's somebody else. Who else?

02:33:26.959 --> 02:33:30.239
Who is that? Is that? That's not Bruce Springsteen.

02:33:30.299 --> 02:33:35.059
No, it's not Bruce fucking somebody else. Oh,

02:33:35.059 --> 02:33:38.700
man. I want to be a rocker man. Dan's here. Dan's

02:33:38.700 --> 02:33:40.879
wildest sexual experience is when girls ask him

02:33:40.879 --> 02:33:45.620
if it's in yet. That really happened once. That

02:33:45.620 --> 02:33:49.200
did happen. I'm like, dude, I'm done. What do

02:33:49.200 --> 02:33:52.159
you mean is it in? I'm done. I'm dead serious.

02:33:52.379 --> 02:33:54.700
That happened once. Fun fact about Dan. Dan's

02:33:54.700 --> 02:33:57.180
blown more loads in his pants at strip clubs

02:33:57.180 --> 02:34:00.600
than he's blown in a woman. Yes, that is 100

02:34:00.600 --> 02:34:04.180
% true. You fucking blow in your pants? Dude,

02:34:04.280 --> 02:34:07.479
chronically. I used to do it chronically. In

02:34:07.479 --> 02:34:10.700
your pants? Yes. Yes, in my pants. And I know

02:34:10.700 --> 02:34:13.360
how to make that stain go away in five minutes.

02:34:13.860 --> 02:34:16.260
Oh, my God. I'm dead serious. It's peroxide,

02:34:16.299 --> 02:34:18.360
isn't it? No, you just go in the bathroom. What

02:34:18.360 --> 02:34:20.159
you do is you take a layer of paper towels and

02:34:20.159 --> 02:34:22.930
put it underneath it. put more paper towels on

02:34:22.930 --> 02:34:24.930
the top and you squeeze it and wring it out.

02:34:25.010 --> 02:34:27.590
And then you just rub it back and forth. It goes

02:34:27.590 --> 02:34:29.750
away completely. Completely. That's actually

02:34:29.750 --> 02:34:32.149
really interesting. Thank you. Thank you for

02:34:32.149 --> 02:34:37.090
that. Dan actually comes every time a girl over

02:34:37.090 --> 02:34:40.209
five, 10 looks at it. That's true. That is true.

02:34:40.329 --> 02:34:43.209
Over five, 10. Yes. Listen, listen, Tyler, you

02:34:43.209 --> 02:34:47.149
better not go nowhere near Dan. Yeah, I love

02:34:47.149 --> 02:34:50.770
when Dan was like, yo, bro, let me fucking get

02:34:50.770 --> 02:34:53.069
to the stock market, invest fucking a thousand

02:34:53.069 --> 02:34:57.090
Tesla, and then my fucking money goes gone. Yeah.

02:34:58.069 --> 02:35:00.329
That was probably a bad idea. That's going to

02:35:00.329 --> 02:35:02.709
be back 2030. That's going to be a $2 ,000 stop.

02:35:02.870 --> 02:35:07.170
To the fucking moon, man. We were joking about

02:35:07.170 --> 02:35:09.010
that on the way up. I'm like, the best decision

02:35:09.010 --> 02:35:11.389
I ever made was pulling out a Tesla. He's like,

02:35:11.510 --> 02:35:14.549
don't tell that to Dan. Yeah, for now. For now.

02:35:15.149 --> 02:35:17.909
Dan's holding to the last cent. Until it's $2

02:35:17.909 --> 02:35:21.870
,000 a share. Dude, I had 15 grand on it. Bro,

02:35:21.889 --> 02:35:25.290
when? 2030. It's going to be $2 ,000 a share.

02:35:25.450 --> 02:35:27.149
You're retarded. Yeah, because the dollar is

02:35:27.149 --> 02:35:29.909
going to be worth it. Do you understand how retarded

02:35:29.909 --> 02:35:32.450
you are? As retarded as fuck you, Ali Mack. No,

02:35:32.489 --> 02:35:35.250
I'm dead serious. Fuck you, Ali Mack. It's like,

02:35:35.270 --> 02:35:37.989
dude, they're one of like two companies developing

02:35:37.989 --> 02:35:40.770
self -driving cars and they have the fucking

02:35:40.770 --> 02:35:42.389
robots that are going to replace all the Amazon

02:35:42.389 --> 02:35:44.649
workers. Dan, when can you collect social security?

02:35:44.909 --> 02:35:47.530
Fuck you, Ali Mack. Hey, whoa, let me finish

02:35:47.530 --> 02:35:50.389
this rose. So Beepus, I wrote a joke about fucking

02:35:50.389 --> 02:35:53.309
Beepus, but he's not here. B -Biz's cock is actually

02:35:53.309 --> 02:35:57.469
the size of Dan's body. Yes. It's five foot.

02:35:57.969 --> 02:36:02.770
And then we come to the Roastmaster, Kyle. I

02:36:02.770 --> 02:36:06.129
appreciate you doing the roast. I think you're

02:36:06.129 --> 02:36:09.729
fucking funny. What did he do? Fuck you all.

02:36:09.809 --> 02:36:12.590
I didn't say that. Fuck you all. I didn't say

02:36:12.590 --> 02:36:15.190
that. Kyle's, you know, he's talking about how

02:36:15.190 --> 02:36:17.350
many fucking women he's fucked. He's a fuck boy.

02:36:17.510 --> 02:36:19.809
He gets more pussy than Dan has seen of tall

02:36:19.809 --> 02:36:28.790
girl skirts. That one didn't hit. You bombed

02:36:28.790 --> 02:36:32.809
on that one. Kyle is such an alcoholic that he

02:36:32.809 --> 02:36:36.850
can almost compete with Ali Mack, actually. Compete?

02:36:37.530 --> 02:36:41.030
Compete, yeah. I'm drinking Ali Mack's beer after

02:36:41.030 --> 02:36:44.670
this one. No, but seriously, I wish I could just

02:36:44.670 --> 02:36:47.229
be like Kyle. Be just like Kyle. I've always

02:36:47.229 --> 02:36:49.569
wanted to wake up at a halfway house and become

02:36:49.569 --> 02:37:03.309
a carbon struck driver. Fuck you, Al. What's

02:37:03.309 --> 02:37:07.149
going on with you? Stupid fucking fake Albany,

02:37:07.149 --> 02:37:09.649
New York City. Oh, here we go. Fuck you. Fuck

02:37:09.649 --> 02:37:13.239
you, Casey. Fuck you. You ever see that movie

02:37:13.239 --> 02:37:15.579
Place Me on the Pines? The one dude has that

02:37:15.579 --> 02:37:22.180
stupid fucking accent. You know Troy? Where are

02:37:22.180 --> 02:37:26.059
you from? I'm from Troy. I'm from Troy. You sound

02:37:26.059 --> 02:37:27.760
like you're from the fucking Bronx, but you're

02:37:27.760 --> 02:37:37.440
fucking retarded. You know Troy? Fuck you, Allie

02:37:37.440 --> 02:37:39.680
Mack! Don't fucking laugh at that! Fuck you!

02:37:39.959 --> 02:37:43.319
That's a funny fucking joke. That's a funny joke.

02:37:43.319 --> 02:37:47.659
That's a good one. I like that a lot. But seriously,

02:37:47.920 --> 02:37:49.920
Kyle's worse at fucking killing himself than

02:37:49.920 --> 02:37:53.120
Britney Spears. It's like retarded. He's like,

02:37:53.219 --> 02:37:57.799
oh, the gun drip. Oh, I didn't put enough oil

02:37:57.799 --> 02:38:03.479
in the gun. Oh, my God. All right. I finally

02:38:03.479 --> 02:38:08.420
joke about Kyle. Kyle, Kyle, they say you look

02:38:08.420 --> 02:38:11.360
like Ellen, but I'd rather eat Ellen's old crusty

02:38:11.360 --> 02:38:13.239
lesbian pussy than have to look at your face.

02:38:14.120 --> 02:38:19.440
Damn. Damn, Casey. Ouch. I wasn't expecting Casey

02:38:19.440 --> 02:38:21.819
to be this savage here. Dude, Casey just came

02:38:21.819 --> 02:38:25.020
out as a fire, dude. Casey especially came out

02:38:25.020 --> 02:38:27.719
with fucking fire with you, Kyle. Jesus Christ.

02:38:27.799 --> 02:38:31.280
I felt like he fucking went boom, boom, boom,

02:38:31.299 --> 02:38:36.930
boom. Fuck you, Allie Matt. I appreciate you

02:38:36.930 --> 02:38:40.409
roasting me. Fucking happy 100th episode. Centennial,

02:38:40.430 --> 02:38:42.790
motherfucker. Centennial, baby. Dude, I feel

02:38:42.790 --> 02:38:44.989
like hell. Hang on, with that. You feel like

02:38:44.989 --> 02:38:48.069
hell. Because you're a fucking pussy. I said

02:38:48.069 --> 02:38:50.969
that. I told you, don't drink with the big dog.

02:38:51.290 --> 02:38:54.790
Hang on, hang on. Hey, cheers, buddy. Bro, you're

02:38:54.790 --> 02:38:57.069
drinking out of a sippy cup. What do you fucking

02:38:57.069 --> 02:38:59.090
want me to do? 18 beers are gone. 18 beers are

02:38:59.090 --> 02:39:03.409
gone. Dan, you're the only one here that can

02:39:03.409 --> 02:39:08.329
remember 9 -11. Yes. What a segue. Seamless.

02:39:09.049 --> 02:39:11.590
Seamless, truly. What about me? I'm only fucking

02:39:11.590 --> 02:39:14.370
six years older than 9 -11. You're six. I was

02:39:14.370 --> 02:39:17.829
12. Yeah, he had sentience at that point. Oh,

02:39:17.829 --> 02:39:21.489
yeah. Fucking... What was it like? Thank you,

02:39:21.489 --> 02:39:24.030
sir. What was it like? Haven't I talked about

02:39:24.030 --> 02:39:28.049
this? About my teacher screaming? Oh, yeah. I'll

02:39:28.049 --> 02:39:30.030
tell you what was fucked up is I was jerking

02:39:30.030 --> 02:39:33.030
off at that point. And since I grew up a Jehovah's

02:39:33.030 --> 02:39:35.409
Witness, right, they teach you that Armageddon.

02:39:35.430 --> 02:39:38.270
Faggot, faggot, faggot, faggot, faggot, faggot.

02:39:38.610 --> 02:39:40.909
Let me tell this. All right, so they say that

02:39:40.909 --> 02:39:43.610
Armageddon is coming, right? Dude, that fucking,

02:39:43.770 --> 02:39:46.770
like that book that you sent me of all the insane

02:39:46.770 --> 02:39:48.989
shit that they fucking believe in Armageddon.

02:39:48.989 --> 02:39:50.610
It's fucking cult shit, bro. It's fucking nuts,

02:39:50.829 --> 02:39:55.280
dude. It's nuts. I'm like, fuck, this is Armageddon.

02:39:55.280 --> 02:39:58.200
This is the end of the world. I'm not going to

02:39:58.200 --> 02:40:00.840
fucking make it to fucking Paradise Earth because

02:40:00.840 --> 02:40:03.360
I'm jerking off. I didn't jerk off for a month,

02:40:03.399 --> 02:40:05.620
bro. Because of 9 -11? Yeah, because of 9 -11.

02:40:05.780 --> 02:40:08.459
Yeah, but how good was that load a month later?

02:40:08.819 --> 02:40:10.659
I mean, I don't remember. I don't remember that.

02:40:10.959 --> 02:40:13.719
Dan, so when you cum, do you cum a lot or do

02:40:13.719 --> 02:40:17.280
you cum a little? It depends, bro. Hang on, hang

02:40:17.280 --> 02:40:19.639
on, hang on. What the fuck are we talking about

02:40:19.639 --> 02:40:23.139
here? Come on, boys. Reel it in. Reel it in,

02:40:23.180 --> 02:40:25.020
all right? It's the centennial. We're not talking

02:40:25.020 --> 02:40:27.000
about the ropes we're blowing. Stop, stop, stop.

02:40:27.360 --> 02:40:29.680
Go around the table. Dan, what kind of loads

02:40:29.680 --> 02:40:32.280
do you throw normally? All right, so it depends

02:40:32.280 --> 02:40:34.260
on how charged up I am. Are you a volcano or

02:40:34.260 --> 02:40:37.280
are you a chucker? Dude, if I fucking edge. No,

02:40:37.299 --> 02:40:40.479
no, no. I'm talking about who the fuck they make.

02:40:41.480 --> 02:40:43.600
Amy, don't you look at me, you piece of shit.

02:40:43.620 --> 02:40:45.659
Fuck you, Ali Mack. Don't you fucking look at

02:40:45.659 --> 02:40:48.180
me. Anyways, are you a chucker or are you a volcano?

02:40:49.340 --> 02:40:51.600
A chucker or a volcano? What does that really

02:40:51.600 --> 02:40:53.059
mean? Like, does it seep out or does it shoot?

02:40:53.200 --> 02:40:56.059
Chucker, chucker, throws, rope. Shoot. So you're

02:40:56.059 --> 02:40:58.610
throwing rope. Oh, yeah. Fuck you, Ali Mack.

02:40:58.649 --> 02:41:00.329
Yeah, you want to know what? I wouldn't know

02:41:00.329 --> 02:41:02.090
because it's always in my girlfriend's fucking

02:41:02.090 --> 02:41:04.870
pussy, dude. Yeah, then you jerk off. I don't

02:41:04.870 --> 02:41:06.790
know if it's a volcano or not. All I know is

02:41:06.790 --> 02:41:09.809
it comes leaking out afterwards. Damn. So he's

02:41:09.809 --> 02:41:13.270
throwing pies. That's fucking awesome. That's

02:41:13.270 --> 02:41:15.569
awesome. I just pictured that. You're a rope

02:41:15.569 --> 02:41:17.069
thrower. That is if it doesn't go down your fucking

02:41:17.069 --> 02:41:18.370
throat. Tyler, what are you, a volcano or a rope?

02:41:18.370 --> 02:41:20.770
CC, I love you. Please don't listen to this episode.

02:41:20.770 --> 02:41:23.270
If I took in normal conditions. It's been three

02:41:23.270 --> 02:41:25.649
days since I jerked off. I shoot fucking a rope.

02:41:26.190 --> 02:41:28.870
Normal conditions. It's like if I'm jerking off

02:41:28.870 --> 02:41:31.889
every day, it's a volcano that shoots up a little

02:41:31.889 --> 02:41:35.469
bit. Yeah. What about you, Ali Mack? Normal conditions.

02:41:36.149 --> 02:41:38.809
Like I said, I'm not jerking off, dude. I got

02:41:38.809 --> 02:41:40.829
my girlfriend. I sleep in the same bed as her

02:41:40.829 --> 02:41:42.590
every day. How hot is your girlfriend? I mean,

02:41:42.629 --> 02:41:44.610
I don't know. We'll talk about it after the next

02:41:44.610 --> 02:41:47.350
break. She got big tits or no? Nah, she's got

02:41:47.350 --> 02:41:51.770
decent. Over D's? No. No? Then she's a fucking

02:41:51.770 --> 02:41:54.170
skank. I got the biggest titted fucking wife

02:41:54.170 --> 02:41:56.750
here. She's fucking I. She ain't a skank. She's

02:41:56.750 --> 02:41:59.170
a fucking power lifter. And goddamn, do I love

02:41:59.170 --> 02:42:02.350
that woman. She has the most fucking... She's

02:42:02.350 --> 02:42:05.090
a fucking skank. Yeah, that's what you'd say.

02:42:05.170 --> 02:42:06.969
Time to get to Jeopardy? That's what you'd say.

02:42:07.010 --> 02:42:09.600
That's what you'd say. That is what you'd say.

02:42:09.760 --> 02:42:13.739
I think, Casey, because this is your own episode.

02:42:13.979 --> 02:42:15.959
I'll ask her. I'll tell her how it feels. Me

02:42:15.959 --> 02:42:18.899
and Alan Mack are finally feeling good. We got

02:42:18.899 --> 02:42:21.719
to get one more topic involved here, and then

02:42:21.719 --> 02:42:24.579
we go to Jeopardy. Dan's tired. He wants to go

02:42:24.579 --> 02:42:28.379
to bed. Yeah. Yeah, Dan looks sleepy. He's a

02:42:28.379 --> 02:42:31.180
little sleepy boy. I'm all locked in. He's old,

02:42:31.200 --> 02:42:33.479
dude. Where is he going to go? Dan didn't come

02:42:33.479 --> 02:42:35.840
in with his fucking dunking cup, so we know we

02:42:35.840 --> 02:42:38.459
got him on a timer. That's right. Especially

02:42:38.459 --> 02:42:43.760
after a glass of champagne. This is like a big

02:42:43.760 --> 02:42:46.579
party night for me. We got Dan for ten minutes

02:42:46.579 --> 02:42:50.620
max. Nobody screamed at each other. Yet. Yet.

02:42:50.879 --> 02:42:52.520
No, but that's the issue. We're going to go to

02:42:52.520 --> 02:42:54.159
Jeopardy and call it a fucking day. This is the

02:42:54.159 --> 02:42:58.500
100th fucking episode. This is the topic I thought

02:42:58.500 --> 02:43:00.840
of, actually. When's the last time you ever saw

02:43:00.840 --> 02:43:04.690
a pregnant Asian? What the fuck are you talking

02:43:04.690 --> 02:43:07.250
about? Have you ever seen a pregnant Asian? This

02:43:07.250 --> 02:43:10.409
was not the topic I was looking for. Last night,

02:43:10.450 --> 02:43:13.190
I was watching the episode of Lost. How do they

02:43:13.190 --> 02:43:17.010
spawn? And Sun Quan, she was pregnant. They spawned

02:43:17.010 --> 02:43:19.229
by budding, dude. She was pregnant. That was

02:43:19.229 --> 02:43:22.989
circa 2012, I believe. That's the last time a

02:43:22.989 --> 02:43:26.090
fucking Asian has been pregnant. 2009, that was

02:43:26.090 --> 02:43:27.430
the year of the episode. Would you fuck a pregnant

02:43:27.430 --> 02:43:29.809
woman? No, I got one for you. I got one for you.

02:43:30.270 --> 02:43:34.590
I got one for you. I saw this theory this morning.

02:43:34.690 --> 02:43:36.690
A game theory? No, it's actually a pretty good

02:43:36.690 --> 02:43:39.750
theory. Is that there's aliens out there. Okay.

02:43:39.930 --> 02:43:41.569
We can all agree on that. I believe. Right? There's

02:43:41.569 --> 02:43:44.069
aliens. I think they're demons, but yeah. Shut

02:43:44.069 --> 02:43:46.530
the fuck up, Tyler. I think they're demons. All

02:43:46.530 --> 02:43:50.309
right? Fuck you, Allie, Matt. Anyways, is that

02:43:50.309 --> 02:43:52.370
the aliens out there knew that we have - This

02:43:52.370 --> 02:43:56.440
is my girl, by the way. Let me see. Let me see.

02:43:56.479 --> 02:43:58.180
She's got a dumper on her. Yeah, let me see.

02:43:58.239 --> 02:44:02.520
Yeah, she does. Let me see. You're acting like

02:44:02.520 --> 02:44:04.639
you haven't seen her in person. I want to see

02:44:04.639 --> 02:44:06.399
this picture. You got a picture of her ass or

02:44:06.399 --> 02:44:08.540
what? Of course he does. He's not going to shoot

02:44:08.540 --> 02:44:12.239
you. Anyways, so I have this theory, right, that

02:44:12.239 --> 02:44:14.979
the aliens out there knew that the human race

02:44:14.979 --> 02:44:18.819
was precious. Can you send that to me? No. Can

02:44:18.819 --> 02:44:21.620
you send me that one? No. Where did I find these?

02:44:22.040 --> 02:44:24.280
God damn. She looks like one of those fucking.

02:44:25.180 --> 02:44:32.639
Bitches on Wheel of Fortune. Can I tell my fucking

02:44:32.639 --> 02:44:36.819
theory? Can I tell my fucking theory? Retards.

02:44:37.739 --> 02:44:39.760
Fuck me. You've been talking the entire podcast.

02:44:40.579 --> 02:44:44.100
I'm here. I'm here. I'm the most fucking important

02:44:44.100 --> 02:44:46.959
young man. I'm a professional comedian. All right.

02:44:46.959 --> 02:44:52.159
All right. Yeah. You're one job. Fuck you. That's

02:44:52.159 --> 02:44:56.879
a crowd killer. Do you like that one? I'll do

02:44:56.879 --> 02:44:59.319
it on stage. Tell me, Dan, do you like it? I'll

02:44:59.319 --> 02:45:02.120
do it. I'll do it a lot. I'm also going to sleep

02:45:02.120 --> 02:45:07.770
in my car because I'm a little worried. No, but

02:45:07.770 --> 02:45:10.090
I have this theory that, like, the alien... What?

02:45:10.209 --> 02:45:12.969
It's not my theory. I heard it, right? The aliens

02:45:12.969 --> 02:45:16.430
thought we were a precious race, humans or whatever.

02:45:17.489 --> 02:45:21.350
And basically, we all have these souls, and when

02:45:21.350 --> 02:45:24.129
we die, they put the moon up there as a soul

02:45:24.129 --> 02:45:27.090
catcher. So when we die, our souls leave the

02:45:27.090 --> 02:45:30.290
earth, but they're caught by the moon and then

02:45:30.290 --> 02:45:35.149
sent back out. to be put in a newborn. You just

02:45:35.149 --> 02:45:38.290
made this up? No, I saw it on Facebook. Oh, okay.

02:45:38.409 --> 02:45:41.250
That's similar to the tree of life theory. It

02:45:41.250 --> 02:45:43.950
must be true, though. No, but then, like, so

02:45:43.950 --> 02:45:46.770
you either get put in a newborn or near -death

02:45:46.770 --> 02:45:49.010
experiences where people feel like they go to

02:45:49.010 --> 02:45:51.950
the light. They get sent back to their body because,

02:45:52.049 --> 02:45:53.670
like, oh, you're not dead yet. We're going to

02:45:53.670 --> 02:45:55.850
harvest you a little bit. And the whole idea

02:45:55.850 --> 02:45:58.670
is the people, the aliens, are harvesting something

02:45:58.670 --> 02:46:01.090
from us that we don't know yet. They're harvesting

02:46:01.090 --> 02:46:04.739
our semen. That's fine. That makes no sense,

02:46:04.799 --> 02:46:07.920
Tyler. They want our semen, dude. For what? So

02:46:07.920 --> 02:46:09.959
they can't reproduce anymore. You ever hear the

02:46:09.959 --> 02:46:12.440
song Superbad by fucking Lonely Island? They

02:46:12.440 --> 02:46:15.979
want our semen. I'm so tired of him. You should

02:46:15.979 --> 02:46:19.739
be. I'm tired of myself, too. The whole ride

02:46:19.739 --> 02:46:21.840
up here, every fucking theory I had, he'd fucking

02:46:21.840 --> 02:46:26.879
derail it. I derail everything. All right, I'm

02:46:26.879 --> 02:46:31.319
a Jeopardy. All right. I tried to get us in a

02:46:31.319 --> 02:46:33.540
couple more hours, but, you know, fucking everybody

02:46:33.540 --> 02:46:35.899
wants to go to bed. Fuck me. It's going to be,

02:46:35.940 --> 02:46:38.219
can we do another hour of the podcast of me and

02:46:38.219 --> 02:46:40.979
Allie Mac just fucking talking shit? I mean,

02:46:41.000 --> 02:46:43.319
I can talk. I can leave the mics on. You and

02:46:43.319 --> 02:46:45.799
Allie Mac can talk shit all night. We might have

02:46:45.799 --> 02:46:51.379
to do it. The podcast is seven hours long. Jesus

02:46:51.379 --> 02:46:53.719
Christ. You guys should have a Patreon where

02:46:53.719 --> 02:46:56.200
it's just me and Allie Mac talking shit. I thought

02:46:56.200 --> 02:46:58.489
you wanted to show your butthole on it. You want

02:46:58.489 --> 02:47:01.489
me to? I don't know. Is butthole allowed on Patreon?

02:47:01.670 --> 02:47:05.329
I have a hemorrhoid. I thought that you could

02:47:05.329 --> 02:47:07.329
show frontal nudity, but you couldn't show your

02:47:07.329 --> 02:47:09.590
butthole on Patreon. I'll email it. You'll email

02:47:09.590 --> 02:47:11.450
it to him? Yeah, that's a good one. I like that.

02:47:12.409 --> 02:47:16.069
I feel like Patreon is like OnlyFans for men.

02:47:17.590 --> 02:47:22.590
I feel like OnlyFans is for men. That's the only

02:47:22.590 --> 02:47:26.969
people fucking on OnlyFans are skanks and men.

02:47:27.950 --> 02:47:31.930
Alright, I'm Alex. I'm here with your 13 -time

02:47:31.930 --> 02:47:35.930
winner, Daniel. Oh, yeah. The vitamin man. Unlucky

02:47:35.930 --> 02:47:40.290
13. The fucking ultimate episode of Jeopardy

02:47:40.290 --> 02:47:44.149
for all the fucking marbles. What do we got?

02:47:44.229 --> 02:47:48.690
30 -time winner, Tyler? No, it's 31. No, I think

02:47:48.690 --> 02:47:53.120
it's 30. You look so gay. Look at that hair.

02:47:53.280 --> 02:47:56.040
Why do you part it in the middle? The roast is

02:47:56.040 --> 02:48:03.059
over. Should I be nice? No, let's switch it back

02:48:03.059 --> 02:48:08.520
now. Look at Ali. Look at his water. First time

02:48:08.520 --> 02:48:11.020
playing the cop. Are those pictures on Facebook?

02:48:12.840 --> 02:48:14.879
I'm not saying I want to jerk off to your wife,

02:48:14.959 --> 02:48:18.729
but... It's not his wife. First time on the show.

02:48:19.250 --> 02:48:21.950
Kyle's first time on the show. And we got fucking

02:48:21.950 --> 02:48:25.350
Allie Mac, six -time winner of the Says. The

02:48:25.350 --> 02:48:32.670
Saysay! Woo! Give me a fucking buzzer. You got

02:48:32.670 --> 02:48:36.569
what? You got three, it'll be two, and then you're

02:48:36.569 --> 02:48:41.709
four. Number four. Kyle, I assume that you know

02:48:41.709 --> 02:48:43.809
how to play Jeopardy. Yeah, but what do I do

02:48:43.809 --> 02:48:46.270
with them? You just fucking hit it when you know

02:48:46.270 --> 02:48:50.149
the answer. Does it work? Yeah, it's the screen

02:48:50.149 --> 02:48:56.010
right here. All right. Calgary today, we got

02:48:56.010 --> 02:49:02.329
name that century. Keep it 100. Okay. 9 -11 -01.

02:49:03.229 --> 02:49:07.010
Christ alive. Jesus. Secretaries of State. The

02:49:07.010 --> 02:49:09.729
second saddest thing to happen in 2000. Cornelius

02:49:09.729 --> 02:49:17.059
Rice. The Miracle on Ice, Hard Rock Bands, and

02:49:17.059 --> 02:49:23.000
Untitled Pokery. Untitled Pokery? Yep. Tyler,

02:49:23.159 --> 02:49:27.520
I think you won the last one. I did. I did. You

02:49:27.520 --> 02:49:33.600
know, let's do Hard Rock. Hard Rock? Alright.

02:49:34.479 --> 02:49:38.170
Kylo, don't cheat. I'm not trying to cheat. All

02:49:38.170 --> 02:49:40.409
right, you have to name the band here. All right.

02:49:40.569 --> 02:50:05.729
Hold on. Here comes the pain! No one. After all

02:50:05.729 --> 02:50:16.510
Kyle number four what is Answer the question

02:50:16.510 --> 02:50:30.540
What is downswing Kyle What is Slipknot? Slipknot!

02:50:30.940 --> 02:50:34.139
Is that Slipknot? I didn't answer. All I had

02:50:34.139 --> 02:50:36.440
to hear was the second time. That's Corey Taylor

02:50:36.440 --> 02:50:38.899
through and through. What song was that? Was

02:50:38.899 --> 02:50:42.360
that fucking... That's fucking... Hang on. No,

02:50:42.379 --> 02:50:46.159
it's... Sick. Sick? Yeah. There's not a song

02:50:46.159 --> 02:50:47.760
I thought it was. I thought it was Wait and Believe.

02:50:48.139 --> 02:50:53.440
Kyle's pick. Oh, um... Give me... Hard Rock Bands.

02:50:53.520 --> 02:51:03.180
Hard Rock Bands for $400. Oh, fuck. Breaking

02:51:03.180 --> 02:51:06.239
Benjamin. Breaking Benjamin, yeah. Fuck yeah.

02:51:06.319 --> 02:51:08.239
Let's go. Give me hard rock bands. I thought

02:51:08.239 --> 02:51:12.659
it was Pod. I'm glad I didn't get that one. I

02:51:12.659 --> 02:51:14.379
thought the same, Tyler. Yeah, I thought it was

02:51:14.379 --> 02:51:16.440
Pod. I thought it was BOD. By the way, you're

02:51:16.440 --> 02:51:18.520
playing for today. You're playing for the contents

02:51:18.520 --> 02:51:22.780
of the Slur Jar. I need that. I need that. I

02:51:22.780 --> 02:51:25.360
need that bad. I got to pay rent. I got to pay

02:51:25.360 --> 02:51:31.149
rent next week. This is fucking fake, dude. Kyle's

02:51:31.149 --> 02:51:39.409
pick. Hard rock bands? 600. Fuck, I know this.

02:51:42.209 --> 02:51:44.329
But I don't know if it is what I think it is.

02:51:45.069 --> 02:51:49.090
I can't tell from the fucking intro here. It's

02:51:49.090 --> 02:51:53.530
a rather long thing. Mm -hmm. Can you make it

02:51:53.530 --> 02:52:03.940
louder? Fuck you! Ah, it's Kyle. Velvet Revolver.

02:52:04.600 --> 02:52:13.440
No! Fuck! Velvet Revolver? What? What's Breaking

02:52:13.440 --> 02:52:16.799
Benjamin? What? What is Breaking Benjamin? No.

02:52:17.319 --> 02:52:21.639
That was a lot. Was it? This isn't Breaking Benjamin.

02:52:21.979 --> 02:52:28.100
Nope. Oh, shit! Three days grace, Dan says, that's

02:52:28.100 --> 02:52:34.280
right. Oh, baby, it's not even my genre. Fuck,

02:52:34.440 --> 02:52:38.079
Dan. This isn't even hard rock, bro. It's all

02:52:38.079 --> 02:52:42.020
rock. It's downswing. Give me a 9 -11 -01. 9

02:52:42.020 --> 02:52:46.120
-11 for 200. This government agency was created

02:52:46.120 --> 02:52:48.299
in response to the 9 -11 attacks. What is this,

02:52:48.379 --> 02:52:50.340
the Department of Homeland Security, baby? Yes,

02:52:50.340 --> 02:52:55.799
Dan. Fuck. Damn, it's big. Fuck. Same category.

02:52:56.440 --> 02:53:00.319
400. American Airlines Flight 11 took off from

02:53:00.319 --> 02:53:03.420
Boston, making a sharp turn near this city. Albany,

02:53:03.420 --> 02:53:09.059
New York. Fuck you. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Damn,

02:53:09.239 --> 02:53:11.780
it's big. Same category. Viewers love 9 -11.

02:53:12.120 --> 02:53:15.680
9 -11 for 600. Many witnessed United Airlines

02:53:15.680 --> 02:53:19.260
Flight 175 crash into this building live on 9

02:53:19.260 --> 02:53:24.440
-11. Fuck. What is tower number two? Yeah, that

02:53:24.440 --> 02:53:27.260
was good. That was good. I was going to say that.

02:53:27.260 --> 02:53:30.719
Give me hard rock bands. What number hard rock

02:53:30.719 --> 02:53:32.520
is this? A thousand or eight? Eight hundred.

02:53:33.700 --> 02:53:41.000
For eight hundred. Fuck. This is not Velvet Revolver.

02:54:08.780 --> 02:54:11.219
No one's gonna get this. Alright. No, no, I got

02:54:11.219 --> 02:54:16.059
it. I got it. I got it. Hang on. No time for

02:54:16.059 --> 02:54:20.319
that. No one's got that? No, I got it. I got

02:54:20.319 --> 02:54:23.600
it. It's, um, they sing that song, uh, fucking,

02:54:23.780 --> 02:54:26.440
The Sadness Will Never End. No, they sing that

02:54:26.440 --> 02:54:29.860
song, The Sadness Will Never End. Ah, fuck. Fuck,

02:54:29.860 --> 02:54:32.219
fuck, fuck. Fucking. Can I use my phone real

02:54:32.219 --> 02:54:34.319
quick? Not loose. No. Can I use my phone real

02:54:34.319 --> 02:54:38.129
quick? That'd be Suicide Silence. All right,

02:54:38.149 --> 02:54:40.629
that's not who I thought it was. Okay, fair enough.

02:54:41.010 --> 02:54:44.250
Give me hard rock bands again. Bands for one

02:54:44.250 --> 02:55:05.530
thousand. What's the other categories? 9 -11.

02:55:06.079 --> 02:55:09.319
9 -11. You got name that century, keep it 100.

02:55:09.719 --> 02:55:13.360
9 -11, Secretary of the State, Miracle on Ice,

02:55:13.540 --> 02:55:17.079
and Untitled Pauper. I'll do the Miracle on Ice.

02:55:17.260 --> 02:55:21.280
For 200. God damn it. 200. Donald Trump's favorite

02:55:21.280 --> 02:55:23.879
Homeland Security agents are part of this U .S.

02:55:23.899 --> 02:55:30.600
agency. What is ICE? What is ICE? Tyler's got

02:55:30.600 --> 02:55:34.719
to be more specific. Fucking... It's ice. It's

02:55:34.719 --> 02:55:37.219
the fucking abbreviation of fucking ice. What

02:55:37.219 --> 02:55:40.159
is integration and customs enforcement? That's

02:55:40.159 --> 02:55:42.620
fucking horse shit. That's fucking horse shit.

02:55:44.020 --> 02:55:46.479
Obviously I'll answer with ice because the category

02:55:46.479 --> 02:55:48.719
is fucking ice. That's horse shit. You kind of

02:55:48.719 --> 02:55:53.239
fist fucked him. That's fucked. I would give

02:55:53.239 --> 02:55:55.920
that to Tyler, but fuck you, Ally Mac. I didn't

02:55:55.920 --> 02:55:58.239
say shit. That should have been me. I literally

02:55:58.239 --> 02:56:02.760
haven't buzzed yet. I literally have not buzzed

02:56:02.760 --> 02:56:05.500
yet. All right. Can I at least get half for that?

02:56:05.540 --> 02:56:09.840
You both get the points. Wow. All right. I'm

02:56:09.840 --> 02:56:11.899
not cool with that. All right. We'll do the miracle

02:56:11.899 --> 02:56:16.360
on ice. 400. Mike Urizioni might not know that

02:56:16.360 --> 02:56:19.059
the solid form of carbon dioxide is called this.

02:56:19.819 --> 02:56:26.159
Fuck. I know it if you don't. I do, too. Hang

02:56:26.159 --> 02:56:28.760
on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Dry ice. Yeah.

02:56:28.959 --> 02:56:33.430
Yeah. That's correct. Nice. Nice. Give me. What

02:56:33.430 --> 02:56:36.110
was that? Centuries or whatever? Name the century.

02:56:36.270 --> 02:56:40.010
Name that century. For $200. Thomas Jefferson

02:56:40.010 --> 02:56:41.690
writes the U .S. Declaration of Independence.

02:56:41.690 --> 02:56:44.110
What is the 1700s? Now you need the century.

02:56:46.530 --> 02:56:50.670
Dan, we hit the name of a century. I don't know.

02:56:51.590 --> 02:56:57.350
Kyle? What is the 16th century? No. Oh, it's

02:56:57.350 --> 02:57:00.709
the 18th! It's the 18th! Fuck! It's the 18th!

02:57:00.729 --> 02:57:03.969
Fuck! I said it! I always fucked that up! Fuck!

02:57:04.209 --> 02:57:09.389
I always fucked that up! Disgusting. Disgusting.

02:57:09.389 --> 02:57:12.069
You know where I was going with that! Fuck you,

02:57:12.129 --> 02:57:15.489
Ally Mac! Fuck you, Ally Mac! You know where

02:57:15.489 --> 02:57:18.350
I was going with that! Fuck you, Ally Mac! Disgusting.

02:57:18.489 --> 02:57:20.909
You know where I was going with that! Disgusting.

02:57:20.989 --> 02:57:24.309
Race baiter. Race baiter. Cis male. Hey, buddies.

02:57:24.850 --> 02:57:28.319
Fuck you both. Fuck you both. Disgusting. Alleybacks

02:57:28.319 --> 02:57:30.899
pick. Fuck you both. This game is disgusting.

02:57:31.239 --> 02:57:34.420
I fucking hate this podcast. Give me Miracle

02:57:34.420 --> 02:57:38.000
on Ice again. First 600. This was the acting

02:57:38.000 --> 02:57:41.100
U .S. president during the USA's famous 4 -3

02:57:41.100 --> 02:57:43.440
victory over the Soviets. What is Ronald Reagan?

02:57:43.760 --> 02:57:50.000
Nope. Really? What is Richard Nixon? Nope. Whatever.

02:57:50.079 --> 02:57:53.620
I don't fucking care. Anyone? Two. I got it.

02:57:53.700 --> 02:57:57.670
I got it. Let's do it. Who is FDR? Nope. It's

02:57:57.670 --> 02:58:05.250
not FDR. It's him. Who's McCarthy? What? Who's

02:58:05.250 --> 02:58:09.209
Gerald Ford? That's just Gerald Ford. I can't

02:58:09.209 --> 02:58:15.430
believe it. Wait, it's not McCarthy? No, it's

02:58:15.430 --> 02:58:20.110
not FDR. It's not Franklin. I got it. I got it.

02:58:20.149 --> 02:58:24.680
I got it. Who is George H .W. Bush? No! Who the

02:58:24.680 --> 02:58:29.139
fuck could it be? It's not FDR. FDR was World

02:58:29.139 --> 02:58:31.700
War II, you dumb fuck. Who was Jimmy Carter?

02:58:32.420 --> 02:58:38.260
Jimmy Carter was a big anti -fucking Russian

02:58:38.260 --> 02:58:42.819
guy. I thought that was 1980. That was the fucking

02:58:42.819 --> 02:58:47.139
time of the games was 1980, you dumb fuck. 1977

02:58:47.139 --> 02:58:52.239
to 1980. 1980 was the games. What a disgusting

02:58:52.239 --> 02:58:54.420
answer. We all went backwards on that one. What

02:58:54.420 --> 02:58:56.860
a show for the president. I know he's after next

02:58:56.860 --> 02:58:59.819
week. I think it's Allie Mack's pick. Pull up

02:58:59.819 --> 02:59:03.899
when FDR was the president. Allie Mack. He was

02:59:03.899 --> 02:59:07.600
the president during the fucking 40s, bro. He

02:59:07.600 --> 02:59:09.780
died in the first place. He was there for the

02:59:09.780 --> 02:59:17.399
first place. 33 to 45. Allie Mack for 800. How

02:59:17.399 --> 02:59:20.680
much do I got? You got negative 400. You can

02:59:20.680 --> 02:59:23.920
wager up to 1 ,400. Dude, but... I'll wager 1

02:59:23.920 --> 02:59:29.399
,400. I'll wager 1 ,400. All 1 ,400? Wow. Damn.

02:59:29.799 --> 02:59:34.860
All right, for all 1 ,400. A frozen body of water

02:59:34.860 --> 02:59:37.120
needs to be this many inches thick to safely

02:59:37.120 --> 02:59:44.459
walk on it. No, he... Relax, dude. I know the

02:59:44.459 --> 02:59:48.319
answer. What is sex? No, no, no. Can I steal

02:59:48.319 --> 02:59:51.920
it? Can I steal it? Can I steal it? Fuck! What?

02:59:52.000 --> 02:59:54.790
That would be... 12 inches. Three inches, you

02:59:54.790 --> 02:59:56.690
dumb fuck. That would be 18 inches. It's three

02:59:56.690 --> 02:59:59.229
inches. That would be four inches. Fuck you.

02:59:59.370 --> 03:00:01.850
No, pull it up. Hey, how about fuck everybody,

03:00:02.149 --> 03:00:04.770
okay? Nobody can do better than Allie Mack and

03:00:04.770 --> 03:00:07.170
y 'all treated me like a fool. Pull it up, DC.

03:00:07.450 --> 03:00:09.930
Three inches. I already pulled it up. That's

03:00:09.930 --> 03:00:11.829
why I wrote the question. Because you're a retard.

03:00:11.950 --> 03:00:14.350
Fuck you. Yeah, I was taught it was six, Casey,

03:00:14.430 --> 03:00:18.440
so your fucking sources are faulted. Bitch, the

03:00:18.440 --> 03:00:20.180
fault in our stuff. You have no idea what you're

03:00:20.180 --> 03:00:22.100
doing, Casey. Casey goes ice fishing one time

03:00:22.100 --> 03:00:24.379
and actually he's a fucking ice expert. All I

03:00:24.379 --> 03:00:28.260
do is ice fish. It's three inches. It ain't the

03:00:28.260 --> 03:00:31.420
only thing. It's three inches, is it, Kyle? Let's

03:00:31.420 --> 03:00:34.559
move onward. Three inches is okay to score a

03:00:34.559 --> 03:00:38.680
state in ice fish. Allie Mac's big. Yeah, whatever,

03:00:38.920 --> 03:00:41.420
Casey. Miracle on ice, you piece of shit. One

03:00:41.420 --> 03:00:44.319
thousand. Just because he's from the CPT, punk

03:00:44.319 --> 03:00:46.639
police are afraid of him. I don't know what the

03:00:46.639 --> 03:00:50.520
fuck that means. Oh, fuck. Who is O 'Callaghan?

03:00:50.700 --> 03:00:56.879
No. Say the question again. Just because he's

03:00:56.879 --> 03:00:59.399
from the CPT, punk police are afraid of him.

03:01:01.799 --> 03:01:07.120
Can I say the band? Who is Craig? Can I say the

03:01:07.120 --> 03:01:10.540
band name or is it like the guy? The category

03:01:10.540 --> 03:01:15.620
is Miracle on Ice. Who is Ice Cube? That's correct.

03:01:16.280 --> 03:01:20.639
I was going to say Naughty by Nature. Did I lose

03:01:20.639 --> 03:01:26.000
points on both my guesses? Yes. Wow. Dan's in

03:01:26.000 --> 03:01:28.120
the lead, actually. What's the score? 9 -11.

03:01:29.100 --> 03:01:32.399
I'm rooting for Dan. What's the score? I'm rooting

03:01:32.399 --> 03:01:35.020
for anyone but Tyler. Tyler, I love you, but

03:01:35.020 --> 03:01:37.819
fuck you, too. Let's wait until the next one.

03:01:39.360 --> 03:01:41.799
For 800, the U .S. responded to the attacks by

03:01:41.799 --> 03:01:44.200
invading this country in October 2001. What is

03:01:44.200 --> 03:01:48.219
Iraq? No. What is Afghanistan? What is Afghanistan?

03:01:48.319 --> 03:01:50.799
No, fuck you. I pushed it first. It says one.

03:01:50.979 --> 03:01:53.739
That's Dan. That's Tyler, actually. Wait, what?

03:01:53.940 --> 03:01:56.940
Yeah, I'm number one. Four. Yeah, because you

03:01:56.940 --> 03:01:59.739
had already buzzed in for the first time. Afghanistan.

03:02:00.239 --> 03:02:02.440
What is Afghanistan? Give me the points. Dan

03:02:02.440 --> 03:02:04.360
said it first. All right. You both get points

03:02:04.360 --> 03:02:06.719
for that one. I pushed the fucking button, dickhead.

03:02:06.940 --> 03:02:09.809
Three quarters of the points to me. I know, I

03:02:09.809 --> 03:02:11.549
know, but I was born on the thing, so we don't

03:02:11.549 --> 03:02:13.829
know who hit it first. All right. Three quarters

03:02:13.829 --> 03:02:15.870
of a point to me. Quarter points to him. Now,

03:02:15.870 --> 03:02:18.309
what me and Dan should do is compare penis sizes.

03:02:18.729 --> 03:02:21.530
The smallest penis gets all the points. Whoever

03:02:21.530 --> 03:02:23.889
has the bigger cock gets the points. Fuck. I

03:02:23.889 --> 03:02:29.069
lost. I lost. I immediately lost. Let's try Dan's

03:02:29.069 --> 03:02:32.930
pick here. All right. 9 -11. 9 -11 for 1 ,000.

03:02:32.989 --> 03:02:36.110
This U .S. agency somehow failed to notice multiple

03:02:36.110 --> 03:02:40.840
men. What is the CIA? No. Fuck my ass. Where's

03:02:40.840 --> 03:02:44.559
the FBI? The FBI, yes. They failed to notice

03:02:44.559 --> 03:02:46.940
I'm taking flight lessons, but not landing lessons.

03:02:47.340 --> 03:02:49.420
That's actually really funny. You're taking flight

03:02:49.420 --> 03:02:51.180
lessons, but not landing lessons. What are my

03:02:51.180 --> 03:02:54.780
categories? Yeah. Name that sentry. Keep it 100.

03:02:55.459 --> 03:03:00.180
Secretaries of State and Untitled Puppery. Untitled

03:03:00.180 --> 03:03:06.020
whatever. Untitled whatever. For 200. You get

03:03:06.020 --> 03:03:08.590
all the daily doubles. Daily doubles. Shut the

03:03:08.590 --> 03:03:11.129
fuck up, Tyler. That's you. Fuck you, Ali Max.

03:03:11.170 --> 03:03:14.979
Fuck you. 800, you can wager up to... 1800 no

03:03:14.979 --> 03:03:17.360
he can only wager up to a fucking 800 that's

03:03:17.360 --> 03:03:21.020
not true and I'm gonna wager 1800 that's fucking

03:03:21.020 --> 03:03:23.840
horse shit and you know it fuck you suck my cock

03:03:23.840 --> 03:03:26.700
bitch you don't have a cock to suck yeah that's

03:03:26.700 --> 03:03:28.899
what you fucking think bro fuck you Ellie Mac

03:03:28.899 --> 03:03:31.340
oh this is hilarious Ellie Mac these are the

03:03:31.340 --> 03:03:34.940
four presidents of Mount Rushmore oh my god this

03:03:34.940 --> 03:03:38.600
is the classic question from our back oh fuck

03:03:38.600 --> 03:03:42.899
oh my god this is the fucking this is the easiest

03:03:43.280 --> 03:03:45.760
fucking question. He never gets it, though. He

03:03:45.760 --> 03:03:49.040
never gets it. Ever. Hold up. Can you give me

03:03:49.040 --> 03:03:52.639
one of those little bats? Hold up. Hold up. Alright,

03:03:52.780 --> 03:03:57.420
so surely you gotta have... Jesus Christ. Oh

03:03:57.420 --> 03:04:00.540
my... You don't know this? He doesn't. Fuck you,

03:04:00.579 --> 03:04:03.819
Allie Mack. Fuck you, Kyle Franklin. Fuck you.

03:04:03.899 --> 03:04:06.739
Fuck Kyle Franklin. Thank you, Tyler. Alright,

03:04:06.739 --> 03:04:09.280
so I'm assuming you gotta have Abraham Lincoln

03:04:09.280 --> 03:04:12.870
up there, for sure. Abe Lincoln. That one. You're

03:04:12.870 --> 03:04:14.969
going to have George Washington, surely. All

03:04:14.969 --> 03:04:21.950
right, there you go. There's a Roosevelt up there.

03:04:22.569 --> 03:04:28.010
There's two of them. Which one? It's not the

03:04:28.010 --> 03:04:30.729
one you think. It's the better one, actually.

03:04:31.430 --> 03:04:34.989
Honestly, it is. It is. Teddy Roosevelt. He's

03:04:34.989 --> 03:04:36.370
up there. All right, you got the better one.

03:04:36.469 --> 03:05:01.079
Okay. And Benjamin Franklin. His name started

03:05:01.079 --> 03:05:08.260
with Adam Adams Jesus Christ. I think you've

03:05:08.260 --> 03:05:10.819
had too many, Sam. His first and last name. He

03:05:10.819 --> 03:05:14.020
can't hang with a big dog. His first and last

03:05:14.020 --> 03:05:17.979
name started with W. What? No, it's not. Shut

03:05:17.979 --> 03:05:21.159
the fuck up. All right? Why don't you say Woodrow

03:05:21.159 --> 03:05:24.979
Wilson? William Wallace. It ain't Woodrow Wilson.

03:05:25.680 --> 03:05:28.500
And it ain't JFK neither. It's one of those other

03:05:28.500 --> 03:05:31.540
fucking old -timers. JFK was one of the best

03:05:31.540 --> 03:05:33.959
presidents. And it ain't Alex Hamilton. It ain't

03:05:33.959 --> 03:05:36.100
him. Man, it ain't him. Who was even the president?

03:05:36.459 --> 03:05:39.299
He was a treasurer. Thomas Jefferson. Lock it

03:05:39.299 --> 03:05:42.200
in. Thomas Jefferson. That's correct. Yeah, baby!

03:05:43.139 --> 03:05:47.059
He wins! He wins! Are you fucking kidding me?

03:05:47.360 --> 03:05:50.500
Are you fucking kidding me? Suck my fucking cock.

03:05:50.500 --> 03:05:53.040
Not only did he get the right Roosevelt. I know.

03:05:53.200 --> 03:05:56.340
He took Thomas Jefferson out of his ass. My fucking

03:05:56.340 --> 03:05:59.180
cock. Are you shitting? Fuck you, Allie Mack.

03:05:59.500 --> 03:06:02.399
Fuck you, Allie Mack. Yeah, bitch. Allie Mack.

03:06:02.639 --> 03:06:05.280
That was good. Allie Mack. Name that century.

03:06:05.399 --> 03:06:10.280
Keep it going. Name that century for 400. For

03:06:10.280 --> 03:06:15.120
400, Jesus Christ is born in Bethlehem. What

03:06:15.120 --> 03:06:19.700
is the first century? Be more specific. What

03:06:19.700 --> 03:06:25.280
is the first century A .D.? No. There's a reverse?

03:06:25.420 --> 03:06:29.340
He's got it. What is the first century B .C.?

03:06:29.340 --> 03:06:31.600
Yes. I didn't know that they had reverse century.

03:06:31.600 --> 03:06:33.799
Give me a fist bump. Give me a fist bump there.

03:06:34.299 --> 03:06:36.680
No, he wasn't. He was born in the year 5, retard.

03:06:36.819 --> 03:06:39.600
Look it up. He was born in the year 5 A .D. Oh,

03:06:39.600 --> 03:06:43.889
shit. Oh, God. GET THE CIGARETTES! GET THE CIGARETTES!

03:06:43.889 --> 03:06:45.969
FUCKING FUCKING CIGARETTES! Look it up! Jesus

03:06:45.969 --> 03:06:48.090
was - Jesus Christ was born in the year 5 AD.

03:06:48.409 --> 03:06:52.909
FUCK! I love - I love cigarettes. We're gonna

03:06:52.909 --> 03:06:56.149
do some facts. We got a spell. Hold up. No, fuck

03:06:56.149 --> 03:06:58.549
you! Fuck you! If I lose points because of -

03:06:58.549 --> 03:07:04.739
Can I have the nicotine? Fuck me. Fuck me running.

03:07:04.879 --> 03:07:09.340
Historian Tyler. Most biblical scholars and ancient

03:07:09.340 --> 03:07:11.700
historians believe that his birthday is around

03:07:11.700 --> 03:07:16.899
6 to 4 B .C. B .C. B .C. There's a reason they

03:07:16.899 --> 03:07:20.319
called it before Christ, retard. Retard before

03:07:20.319 --> 03:07:24.579
Christ. Before Christ, retard. Retard. Retard

03:07:24.579 --> 03:07:28.610
before Christ. Before Christ, retard. Yeah, no,

03:07:28.709 --> 03:07:32.809
it says Britannica, the encyclopedia. Jesus was

03:07:32.809 --> 03:07:36.870
born 6 to 4 BC. That's a false narrative. Okay,

03:07:37.049 --> 03:07:40.709
Kyle's fake. Yeah, Kyle, your lucky strikes are

03:07:40.709 --> 03:07:46.950
really helpful. Alright, onward! Fuck. I only

03:07:46.950 --> 03:07:49.690
spilled once. I haven't done nothing else. Give

03:07:49.690 --> 03:07:52.870
me Secretary's Estate. Secretary's Estate. I

03:07:52.870 --> 03:07:58.909
don't know, Condoleezza Rice? We gotta wait for

03:07:58.909 --> 03:08:02.049
time. I don't know any Secretary of State other

03:08:02.049 --> 03:08:05.049
than Condoleezza Rice. Why did I pick this? Can

03:08:05.049 --> 03:08:08.229
I pick another one? No. Alright, Secretary of

03:08:08.229 --> 03:08:11.370
State of 200. This is the eldest son of John

03:08:11.370 --> 03:08:14.729
Adams, the 8th Secretary of State. Went on to

03:08:14.729 --> 03:08:17.370
become President. What is John Quincy Adams?

03:08:17.750 --> 03:08:23.649
Yes. Fuck you, Tyler! Fuck you, Allie Mack! Let's

03:08:23.649 --> 03:08:27.790
not. We'll do Untitled Potpourri. For 400. The

03:08:27.790 --> 03:08:30.889
city Joel Osteen's megachurch is located in.

03:08:32.709 --> 03:08:37.750
He got it first. What is Austin, Texas? No. It

03:08:37.750 --> 03:08:40.670
was Houston, Texas. Houston, that's right. Fuck,

03:08:40.670 --> 03:08:42.170
I was going to say El Paso. You were going to

03:08:42.170 --> 03:08:48.290
say El Paso? Let's do Untitled again. 600. John

03:08:48.290 --> 03:08:50.409
Lennon, like the other three Beatles, was born

03:08:50.409 --> 03:08:55.270
in this English city. What is Manchester? No.

03:08:56.729 --> 03:09:00.750
What is Liverpool? Oh, yeah. Thank you. I knew

03:09:00.750 --> 03:09:02.510
it was one of those retarded fucking English

03:09:02.510 --> 03:09:04.809
names. It wasn't London. It was. It was Liverpool.

03:09:05.190 --> 03:09:07.129
I knew it wasn't London. Can I get the nicotine,

03:09:07.350 --> 03:09:10.409
please? Thank you. Keep it going, whatever category

03:09:10.409 --> 03:09:14.930
that was. 800. Kanye West interrupted this artist

03:09:14.930 --> 03:09:17.270
during the 2009... What is Taylor Swift? Fuck

03:09:17.270 --> 03:09:19.530
you, I got it first. No, I didn't. Who buzzed

03:09:19.530 --> 03:09:21.110
it? No, no, no, no, no, no. Where's the fucking

03:09:21.110 --> 03:09:25.219
buzzer? Number one. Fuck you! Fuck you! You got

03:09:25.219 --> 03:09:28.719
it. I was going to say Carrie Underwood. Sorry.

03:09:28.959 --> 03:09:32.719
I was going to get it wrong. We'll continue on

03:09:32.719 --> 03:09:37.219
Untitled. For $1 ,000, J .D. Vance's former position

03:09:37.219 --> 03:09:40.719
prior to vice president was this, including the

03:09:40.719 --> 03:09:45.139
state. I know what state it was. I don't know

03:09:45.139 --> 03:09:49.629
what position it was. It's literally only one,

03:09:49.649 --> 03:09:54.409
really. What is the governor of Maryland? No.

03:09:54.989 --> 03:10:01.690
What is the governor of Ohio? No. What is Senator

03:10:01.690 --> 03:10:05.469
of Ohio? Oh, Senator from Ohio. Fuck! Fuck you,

03:10:05.489 --> 03:10:08.690
Tyler. Fucking Tyler. Fucking Tyler. Fuck you,

03:10:08.729 --> 03:10:10.350
Tyler. How'd you know that? Because I knew it

03:10:10.350 --> 03:10:12.409
was Ohio. Because you're a faggot. And you're

03:10:12.409 --> 03:10:15.389
like, governor, no. Race -beating faggot, cis

03:10:15.389 --> 03:10:18.829
male, white male, cis male, cis male. Tyler,

03:10:18.909 --> 03:10:21.829
you got it. Name that century, keep it 100, and

03:10:21.829 --> 03:10:24.270
secretaries of state. I'll do name that century.

03:10:24.709 --> 03:10:28.770
600? Yeah. Dwight D. Eisenhower is born in Denison,

03:10:28.950 --> 03:10:32.180
Texas. Dwight D. Eisenhower was born in what

03:10:32.180 --> 03:10:39.979
century? What is the 19th century? Yes. Hey,

03:10:40.139 --> 03:10:43.100
Tyler, suck my cock. Whatever you get a chance.

03:10:43.819 --> 03:10:49.020
800. The Disney sitcom Phil of the Future takes

03:10:49.020 --> 03:10:55.860
place in the 20th century. No. Fuck. It's you.

03:10:56.040 --> 03:10:59.299
You fucking did it. What is the... 19th century?

03:10:59.459 --> 03:11:02.059
No. What is the 21st century? Say the question

03:11:02.059 --> 03:11:05.399
again. What is the 21st century? He has it. No.

03:11:06.139 --> 03:11:10.200
What? The Disney sitcom Phil of the Future takes

03:11:10.200 --> 03:11:12.700
place in the 17th century. What is the 17th century?

03:11:13.120 --> 03:11:16.700
No. Phil of the Future. This is fucking dead

03:11:16.700 --> 03:11:22.540
now. Wait, when does it take place? No, you got

03:11:22.540 --> 03:11:24.459
to give everyone's points back. That's a misleading

03:11:24.459 --> 03:11:27.420
question. No, it's not. Yeah, give everyone's

03:11:27.420 --> 03:11:30.200
points back, bro. What's the 22nd century? Oh,

03:11:30.200 --> 03:11:33.159
Tyler. We all got it wrong once, so just fucking

03:11:33.159 --> 03:11:35.659
give us our points back. Except for me. Hey,

03:11:35.680 --> 03:11:39.760
Tyler, once again, suck my cock. Fuck you, Ali

03:11:39.760 --> 03:11:44.079
Mack. Fuck you, Kyle. We'll do centuries again.

03:11:44.979 --> 03:11:47.989
Yeah, I bet we will. The Star Spangled Banner

03:11:47.989 --> 03:11:50.610
was written by Francis Scott Key during a war...

03:11:50.610 --> 03:11:53.809
Number four. War in the century. Number four.

03:11:54.069 --> 03:11:57.709
You did it. Just, just fucking... I gotta match

03:11:57.709 --> 03:12:00.709
it. Just fucking do it. What is the 16th century?

03:12:00.850 --> 03:12:05.430
No. What do you mean it was written in the 1700s?

03:12:05.450 --> 03:12:07.909
What is the 18th century? Oh, I keep fucking

03:12:07.909 --> 03:12:10.950
up the fucking numbers. What is the 17th century?

03:12:11.209 --> 03:12:14.149
He already said that. He already said that. All

03:12:14.149 --> 03:12:16.690
right, then don't deduct my points. No, hang

03:12:16.690 --> 03:12:18.649
on, hang on. No, no, no, because he was right.

03:12:18.750 --> 03:12:22.389
Look it up. No, because he was locked up in a

03:12:22.389 --> 03:12:25.590
prison. He was locked up in a prison during the

03:12:25.590 --> 03:12:28.549
American Revolution. It was the 1700s. That's

03:12:28.549 --> 03:12:30.010
the 18th century, you dumb fuck. The SARS -CoV

03:12:30.010 --> 03:12:32.569
-2 banner was written by Francis Scott Key during

03:12:32.569 --> 03:12:34.969
a war in the century. In a prison in Baltimore.

03:12:36.389 --> 03:12:40.159
Anyone else? It's the 19th century. Yes. Hey,

03:12:40.200 --> 03:12:42.600
Tyler. Guess what? It was the war of 1812. I'm

03:12:42.600 --> 03:12:43.739
a retard. Hey, guess what, Tyler? I'm a retard.

03:12:43.739 --> 03:12:46.319
You can suck my fucking cock. It was the war

03:12:46.319 --> 03:12:48.979
of 1812. It was the war of 1812. I'm a retard.

03:12:49.280 --> 03:12:52.840
All right. Don't look it up. Hey, Casey. Can

03:12:52.840 --> 03:12:57.360
you not look that up? Tyler. Mr. Casey, you were

03:12:57.360 --> 03:13:00.700
right. No, no. Keep it 100. Secretaries of State.

03:13:01.000 --> 03:13:05.370
We'll do a hundo. 200. The 100 years war actually

03:13:05.370 --> 03:13:08.389
lasted 116 years and was fought between these

03:13:08.389 --> 03:13:12.870
two countries. England and France. Boom, baby!

03:13:13.129 --> 03:13:15.170
I don't understand how England and France are

03:13:15.170 --> 03:13:17.729
friends now. Well, they're not. They still hate

03:13:17.729 --> 03:13:27.489
each other. Hang on. Keep it 100. 100 for 400.

03:13:27.750 --> 03:13:32.700
Quit screen peeking over there, Kyle. I am reading

03:13:32.700 --> 03:13:36.940
it pretty quickly. I'm sorry. Hang on. Can you

03:13:36.940 --> 03:13:38.579
restart that? Because I don't remember what it

03:13:38.579 --> 03:13:43.680
said. I don't remember. It said something about

03:13:43.680 --> 03:13:47.239
a Congress. There are 100 members in this branch

03:13:47.239 --> 03:13:51.940
of the U .S. Congress. What is the judicial branch?

03:13:52.260 --> 03:13:55.659
What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, that

03:13:55.659 --> 03:13:59.479
really fucking backfired. Number four. Kyle.

03:14:13.319 --> 03:14:23.620
I read the question and when it's the House of

03:14:23.620 --> 03:14:31.569
Representatives I like how Kyle's cheating the

03:14:31.569 --> 03:14:33.010
most, but he has the least number of points.

03:14:35.829 --> 03:14:40.530
I guess we'll continue on with that. For 600.

03:14:41.450 --> 03:14:44.250
Archibald Campbell, a Scottish nobleman, appears

03:14:44.250 --> 03:14:50.010
on the 100th denomination of this currency. What

03:14:50.010 --> 03:15:16.930
is the... What is the pound what is the British

03:15:16.930 --> 03:15:45.909
crown There should be some questions about the

03:15:45.909 --> 03:15:49.069
troubles on this keep it 100 secretaries of state

03:15:49.719 --> 03:15:52.620
Yeah, why not? Secretaries of State know those

03:15:52.620 --> 03:15:57.059
guys by heart. 400. Names of two Secretaries

03:15:57.059 --> 03:15:59.520
of State under Obama both lost a presidential

03:15:59.520 --> 03:16:03.180
election. Yeah. Both lost a presidential election?

03:16:03.540 --> 03:16:07.639
Yep. Who is Condoleezza Rice and Mitt Romney?

03:16:09.860 --> 03:16:11.799
Alright, I got that one wrong. Alright, I don't

03:16:11.799 --> 03:16:16.659
fucking know. Secretary of State. You have to

03:16:16.659 --> 03:16:20.340
name two? Yeah. Fuck that. Can I go again? Sure.

03:16:20.399 --> 03:16:23.940
Yeah, you can go again. Who is Mitt Romney and

03:16:23.940 --> 03:16:28.780
who's the man bear? No, man bear big guy. Al

03:16:28.780 --> 03:16:34.500
Gore. Al Gore. Al Gore. The man bear. That's

03:16:34.500 --> 03:16:36.500
fucked up. Why do you have to name two? It's

03:16:36.500 --> 03:16:38.100
the man bear pig. Give me half points if I can

03:16:38.100 --> 03:16:41.379
name one. It's the man bear pig. He's Hillary

03:16:41.379 --> 03:17:00.450
Clinton. Dude. He was a vice president, wasn't

03:17:00.450 --> 03:17:03.309
he? No, he wasn't. He was secretary of state.

03:17:03.989 --> 03:17:06.149
He was third in line. He wasn't second in line.

03:17:07.020 --> 03:17:09.899
You're totally ManBearBigGuy. He lost to George

03:17:09.899 --> 03:17:15.239
Bush. Condoleezza Rice. Dan's pick. Same fucking

03:17:15.239 --> 03:17:16.860
category. Let's get this out of the way. 600.

03:17:17.639 --> 03:17:20.200
America's first secretary of state and third

03:17:20.200 --> 03:17:26.280
president. Oh, fuck. Oh, what was his name? Who

03:17:26.280 --> 03:17:30.850
is John Adams? No. Chris Thomas Jefferson. Oh,

03:17:30.989 --> 03:17:34.049
my neck. Thomas Jefferson. Are you kidding me?

03:17:34.049 --> 03:17:38.049
Thomas Jefferson twice. He pulled out his ass

03:17:38.049 --> 03:17:43.290
before, bro. Twice. Bro. Damn. What are you an

03:17:43.290 --> 03:17:47.989
old Tommy boy doing up there? See, you think

03:17:47.989 --> 03:17:50.030
you thought on that last one there's nothing

03:17:50.030 --> 03:17:51.969
going on up there and then he does shit like

03:17:51.969 --> 03:17:55.309
that. You an old Tommy boy been hanging out.

03:17:55.829 --> 03:17:58.629
Why don't you keep it going? You are flush, dude.

03:17:59.370 --> 03:18:02.790
Keep it going? Secretary of State for 800. This

03:18:02.790 --> 03:18:04.969
Secretary of State from Columbia County, New

03:18:04.969 --> 03:18:09.750
York went on to become the 8th President. Who

03:18:09.750 --> 03:18:15.360
is Amanda Earle? What the fuck? No. I really

03:18:15.360 --> 03:18:17.620
thought I had that one. I thought I had that

03:18:17.620 --> 03:18:22.799
one. What is Chester A. Arthur? Oh, no. Keep

03:18:22.799 --> 03:18:25.219
guessing, Tyler. Wait, from what county? Columbia

03:18:25.219 --> 03:18:28.420
County. Who is Gerald Ford? He was not from New

03:18:28.420 --> 03:18:34.379
York. Wasn't Gerald Ford? No. No, he got it wrong.

03:18:34.540 --> 03:18:41.239
No. Anyone? No? That'd be Martin Van Buren. Fuck.

03:18:42.180 --> 03:18:47.920
Oh, it was in the tip of my tongue. All you know

03:18:47.920 --> 03:18:52.040
is Thomas Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson. What do

03:18:52.040 --> 03:18:54.639
I got? You got Secretary of State, keep it 100.

03:18:55.000 --> 03:19:03.110
Keep it 100, baby. 800. 800. Why? Why? Once again,

03:19:03.190 --> 03:19:05.450
you have negative 800. You can wager 1 ,800.

03:19:05.829 --> 03:19:11.250
Let's wager 1 ,800, baby. Wait, I have less than

03:19:11.250 --> 03:19:14.969
him? You have a lot less than him. Wait, every

03:19:14.969 --> 03:19:17.889
1 .5 goes negative? Yes. No, that's not good.

03:19:18.670 --> 03:19:22.510
I've had a lot of wrong. What are the scores?

03:19:23.510 --> 03:19:26.370
Dan's got 1 ,000. Ty's got 2 ,400. Wait, what's

03:19:26.370 --> 03:19:30.010
my score before? Ali Mack is negative 800. Yeah,

03:19:30.049 --> 03:19:33.989
wager 1 ,800 then for sure. All right. In Roman

03:19:33.989 --> 03:19:37.489
numerals, 100 is represented by this letter.

03:19:37.670 --> 03:19:42.129
Oh, that's easy. Come on. That's easy. You know

03:19:42.129 --> 03:19:45.450
this. Yeah, how about we fucking not make Ali

03:19:45.450 --> 03:19:48.329
Mack look like a douche? All right. I'll be honest

03:19:48.329 --> 03:19:50.209
with you. I'm not over there fucking studying

03:19:50.209 --> 03:19:54.069
Roman numerals. It's like either X or B. No,

03:19:55.549 --> 03:20:01.840
X is 10. And V is five. So X, you would need

03:20:01.840 --> 03:20:06.840
10 Xs. Yeah. Yeah, that helps. No, because at

03:20:06.840 --> 03:20:11.520
50, it goes to L. Why? Because that's just what

03:20:11.520 --> 03:20:14.780
it does. It goes four Xs, and then once you get

03:20:14.780 --> 03:20:17.159
to 50, it goes to L, and then it's X. Fuck you,

03:20:17.180 --> 03:20:20.840
Allie Mack. And then once you get to 60, it's

03:20:20.840 --> 03:20:26.459
LX. Yeah, it's LX. And then once you get to...

03:20:30.800 --> 03:20:32.579
I think it's the one that I'm thinking of. It's

03:20:32.579 --> 03:20:39.159
either that or this one. I think that's a thousand.

03:20:39.420 --> 03:20:42.860
Yeah, I think that's a thousand. I think it's

03:20:42.860 --> 03:20:44.799
the one that I'm thinking of. I've been around

03:20:44.799 --> 03:20:47.040
for a thousand years. I've been around for a

03:20:47.040 --> 03:20:51.959
thousand more. That's a million, I think. Is

03:20:51.959 --> 03:20:57.680
it? Yeah. I want to say it's a... Wait, what

03:20:57.680 --> 03:21:02.299
was the oh, I know it. I know it's M. Do you

03:21:02.299 --> 03:21:11.799
know it's you know? See it's not I see a century.

03:21:11.819 --> 03:21:14.799
Oh, yeah, Ali makes a fucking idiot. You are

03:21:14.799 --> 03:21:17.940
retarded Yeah, well the fuck up come again. Fuck

03:21:17.940 --> 03:21:22.040
you. I'm at Valley bag. Yeah, keep it 100 secretaries

03:21:22.040 --> 03:21:25.959
of state Yeah Fuck these Cretans. We'll do 100,

03:21:26.219 --> 03:21:29.459
I guess. The Cretans were actually really good

03:21:29.459 --> 03:21:35.139
at being archers. That's good. Correct. In 1962,

03:21:35.559 --> 03:21:37.879
this player set a record scoring 100 points in

03:21:37.879 --> 03:21:42.399
an NBA game. Who is Wilt Chamberlain? That's

03:21:42.399 --> 03:21:46.239
correct. Who the fuck is Wilt Chamberlain? You

03:21:46.239 --> 03:21:48.719
don't know who Will Chamberlain is? You fucking

03:21:48.719 --> 03:21:50.899
banged over a hundred checks, dude. Secretaries

03:21:50.899 --> 03:21:53.979
of State for a thousand. Final question. Madeline

03:21:53.979 --> 03:21:58.420
Albright was the first female Secretary of State

03:21:58.420 --> 03:22:06.159
appointed by this 20th century president. 20th

03:22:06.159 --> 03:22:13.559
century? Who is Teddy Roosevelt? I'm thinking...

03:22:13.559 --> 03:22:16.420
I'm not going to say it. Let's just time out.

03:22:16.540 --> 03:22:19.700
Did I lose points on that? Yes. You lost 1 ,000

03:22:19.700 --> 03:22:22.579
points on that. On that one. Yeah. Yeah. I got

03:22:22.579 --> 03:22:24.639
1 ,000 and I lost them. Let's just time it out.

03:22:24.760 --> 03:22:28.340
Is it Bill Clinton? 18th century? No, he said

03:22:28.340 --> 03:22:30.440
19th century. That was Bill Clinton. Fuck you.

03:22:30.600 --> 03:22:34.979
Oh, God. Oh. I've had a lot of alcohol tonight.

03:22:35.379 --> 03:22:38.719
Yeah, me too. Yeah. Fuck you, Ali Mack. We're

03:22:38.719 --> 03:22:41.399
all crashing. We're crashing out here. Fuck you,

03:22:41.420 --> 03:22:47.139
Kyle. Tyler has 2 ,400. Cal's got 1 ,000. Calum

03:22:47.139 --> 03:22:50.479
Mac's got negative 2 ,600. Cal's got negative

03:22:50.479 --> 03:22:54.959
8 ,200. Let's see if Tyler knows this one. I'll

03:22:54.959 --> 03:23:03.180
bet this. Is that like regular Jeopardy rules?

03:23:03.899 --> 03:23:06.840
I guess so. You can like lose negative points.

03:23:06.879 --> 03:23:09.440
Yeah. That's how Jeopardy works. I've never watched

03:23:09.440 --> 03:23:10.959
Jeopardy. Yeah, I taught you everything. I know

03:23:10.959 --> 03:23:15.120
all the basics. Yeah, if you get a question wrong,

03:23:15.159 --> 03:23:17.719
you get the minus. So Tyler cheats every time,

03:23:17.799 --> 03:23:20.340
and me and Dan lose. What have you been up to

03:23:20.340 --> 03:23:23.680
on that? Because I've drank all 18 of his BLs.

03:23:23.739 --> 03:23:26.959
Well, none of you can win, but... The top rack's

03:23:26.959 --> 03:23:29.000
not even fully going to that. See if Tyler gets

03:23:29.000 --> 03:23:31.040
this. Now I've drank at least three of them now.

03:23:31.319 --> 03:23:33.219
It's been a minute since I've drank. I don't

03:23:33.219 --> 03:23:36.540
want to push myself too far. Push. Push. Kyle,

03:23:36.620 --> 03:23:38.260
you've got no shot of winning. Let's see if you

03:23:38.260 --> 03:23:42.100
can do it. You want me to win? The Alaskan city

03:23:42.100 --> 03:23:45.379
of Utvik. The northernmost settlement in the

03:23:45.379 --> 03:23:47.719
USA. It changed its name from this English name

03:23:47.719 --> 03:23:51.739
in 2016. Oh, fuck. I did know this. I actually

03:23:51.739 --> 03:23:54.299
have no idea what this is. Oh, it's on the tip

03:23:54.299 --> 03:23:57.940
of my tongue. No, I did know this. They changed

03:23:57.940 --> 03:24:01.379
it to fucking some native name. If I don't fucking

03:24:01.379 --> 03:24:05.540
answer, I'll still be last. Dead fuck. Negative

03:24:05.540 --> 03:24:09.260
8 ,000. This is why I root for you, Allie Mack.

03:24:09.399 --> 03:24:11.440
Fuck you, Allie Mack. This is why I root for

03:24:11.440 --> 03:24:13.840
you. Fuck you. Yeah, you would have loved the

03:24:13.840 --> 03:24:17.059
last episode I was on. Tyler got so mad he left.

03:24:17.340 --> 03:24:20.520
It was great. I didn't cheat. I got it right,

03:24:20.600 --> 03:24:23.920
dude. Did you cheat? No, I didn't. I agreed to

03:24:23.920 --> 03:24:26.200
terms that he agreed with. I didn't agree to

03:24:26.200 --> 03:24:28.059
the terms. You think your smoking hot wife would

03:24:28.059 --> 03:24:34.040
want to cheat on you? No. She would never. Never.

03:24:34.040 --> 03:24:37.760
I treat her good. I give her good dick. You got

03:24:37.760 --> 03:24:39.639
a good dick. I take it nobody knows. I give her

03:24:39.639 --> 03:24:42.079
good dick. Got a big, long, good dick. Tyler

03:24:42.079 --> 03:24:44.899
wins. I mean, there's some fatty tissue in between

03:24:44.899 --> 03:24:46.760
me and the rest of them. Alright, Tyler wins.

03:24:46.979 --> 03:24:48.000
You're pretty good at eating a box, aren't you?

03:24:49.440 --> 03:24:51.780
Dan says, what is the question? Hey, Tyler! Suck

03:24:51.780 --> 03:24:54.799
my fucking cock, you fucking otter! You fucking

03:24:54.799 --> 03:24:56.620
piece of shit! Fuck you, Allie Mac. Fuck you,

03:24:56.620 --> 03:24:58.219
Allie Mac. Fuck you, Allie Mac. We gotta bang

03:24:58.219 --> 03:25:00.979
together to fuck this guy, dude. Anyways, so

03:25:00.979 --> 03:25:02.819
I have another topic I think we should talk about.

03:25:02.819 --> 03:25:04.620
Honestly, I don't think Dan's wife is even in.

03:25:06.479 --> 03:25:09.620
Yeah, Dan would have won. Dan, playing under

03:25:09.620 --> 03:25:12.780
protest, it will take away Tyler's win. I actually

03:25:12.780 --> 03:25:17.340
had no shot of Dan winning. Thanks for listening

03:25:17.340 --> 03:25:21.200
to episode 100. I want to say I love you all,

03:25:21.219 --> 03:25:24.940
but I don't. Fuck you, Allie Mack. Fuck you,

03:25:26.459 --> 03:25:32.260
Allie Mack. Thanks for sticking with us. As always.

03:25:33.389 --> 03:25:35.489
We caught ourselves in each other. Fuck you,

03:25:35.489 --> 03:25:37.389
Allie Mack. Fuck you, Allie Mack. Oh, yeah, by

03:25:37.389 --> 03:25:44.209
the way. Fuck you, Allie Mack. How much is this?

03:25:44.409 --> 03:25:50.469
Five dollars. Tyler, say your piece for the outro.

03:25:50.950 --> 03:25:56.069
I did. What did you say? I said it. And each

03:25:56.069 --> 03:26:04.569
other. Dan. We out. Fuck off. Fuck you, Ali Mack.

03:26:09.649 --> 03:26:12.809
For all we know, robots have souls. We just don't

03:26:12.809 --> 03:26:15.969
know if they do or don't. How do you know? Have

03:26:15.969 --> 03:26:21.889
you ever been a cyborg or a robot? You think

03:26:21.889 --> 03:26:24.090
we were the first ones to inhabit this planet?

03:26:24.729 --> 03:26:32.889
Fuck no. No, no, we are jumping down the... There's

03:26:32.889 --> 03:26:35.329
people out there with some really dumb thoughts.

03:26:36.790 --> 03:26:40.209
Extended episode. Where the fuck did the pyramids

03:26:40.209 --> 03:26:42.629
come from? Where the fuck did Stonehenge come

03:26:42.629 --> 03:26:44.069
from? You're telling me that they didn't die

03:26:44.069 --> 03:26:46.989
and become ghosts? Ugh, they're killing, they're

03:26:46.989 --> 03:26:48.909
killing all the already born babies and sell

03:26:48.909 --> 03:26:52.469
them to the Chinese. Aliens exist. Somewhere

03:26:52.469 --> 03:26:56.450
in China, right, in some base. What the fuck?

03:26:56.510 --> 03:26:58.670
There are super soldiers that are at least 9

03:26:58.670 --> 03:27:02.219
or 10 feet tall. Okay, so did they come from

03:27:02.219 --> 03:27:05.979
our planet? Then they are extraterrestrials.

03:27:05.979 --> 03:27:11.379
They are aliens. I do not negotiate with parents.

03:27:36.559 --> 03:27:39.979
feel them die of this virus you feel bump bump

03:27:39.979 --> 03:27:43.520
bump beep nothing they're fucking gone i've seen

03:27:43.520 --> 03:27:47.059
it happen i think that the government has taken

03:27:47.059 --> 03:27:53.200
it to the next level with the birds they know

03:27:53.200 --> 03:27:55.520
what birds are going to cross paths with you

03:27:55.520 --> 03:27:57.760
that you are going to be able to raise and they

03:27:57.760 --> 03:27:59.940
are going to make them so fucking real they're

03:27:59.940 --> 03:28:01.899
going to sink money into them because they know

03:28:01.899 --> 03:28:07.940
that it's cut it open you're going to see blood

03:28:07.940 --> 03:28:10.120
guts no circuitry but let me tell you their technology

03:28:10.120 --> 03:28:15.680
which by the way big brother is the overlord

03:28:15.680 --> 03:28:55.250
we're only living in the third dimension It's

03:28:55.250 --> 03:28:58.430
a Nazi collaborator, okay? I'm not fucking lying.

03:28:58.610 --> 03:29:01.750
It's fucking real, okay? Look it up. Look it

03:29:01.750 --> 03:29:04.690
up. He says that he was doing this shit. George

03:29:04.690 --> 03:29:06.690
Soros actually worked with the fucking Nazis

03:29:06.690 --> 03:29:09.350
during the Holocaust. He says that he was doing

03:29:09.350 --> 03:29:11.590
it just to survive, but he fucking loved it.

03:29:11.729 --> 03:29:13.770
He was having a great fucking time doing this

03:29:13.770 --> 03:29:15.670
shit. George Soros is the fucking...