The following program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Within the first few weeks of my term as president, I will promise you this, abolish every single political party there is.
I will put out an executive order banning any political party.
And if you are a politician that sits in office, or a man or a woman that wants to run for office,
and you're found in collusion with other politicians in a political party, mark my words, you will go to prison.
I have a cell with your name on it.
We lack empathy, we lack care.
In these dark times, it's so important.
We need to love our neighbor.
We need to love our spouse.
We need to love our countrymen.
We need to hand out hugs.
We need to hand out care.
And we need to reform the social service systems.
We need to make them more forgiving.
And we need to make them to make it so that people can advance in this world.
Go to the homeless man who's sitting on the side of the road.
Buy him a beer.
Buy him a coffee.
Buy him a hamburger.
Give him a blanket.
That little old lady who struggles to get on the city bus with her groceries.
Pull your car over.
Help her on.
Pay for her fare.
Go home.
Kiss your spouse.
Hug your family.
And tell your kids it's going to be alright.
Because Kyle's going to be in office for president.
And I'll leave you with this, a final message.
To any of those billionaires, or corporations, large businesses,
who think that they can use bribe money or anything to lobby their way through office
to make their bills be paid, I'm coming for you.
And to any politician that thinks they can take that money under the table
and think that they can be rich off the backs of our fellow countrymen
who worked their ass off to make this country good, I'll tell you what.
I got a name for you on a fucking prison cell.
It's everybody who doesn't pay their fair share of taxes
but runs this fucking country off the tax money of the working man in the lower class.
You better watch yourself.
Because I'm longer for you.
Brothers and sisters, with love and empathy, carry your heart.
Love your neighbor. And may this great country rise again.
For all we know, robots have souls.
We just don't know if they do or don't. How do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet?
Yeah, well, I was just a little dubby sack, right?
No, no, we are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole.
Yes, we are.
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts.
Extended episodes.
Where the fuck did this yearman come from?
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from?
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
Oh, they're killing...
They're killing all the already-born babies and selling them to the Chinese.
Aliens exist as...
Somewhere in China, in some base,
there are super soldiers that are at least nine or ten feet tall.
Okay, I'm talking about the Sox, they have dread and super soldiers.
Then they are extraterrestrials, they are aliens.
They are aliens.
I do not acknowledge the alien pair.
Welcome to Untitled Podcast, episode 96.
Goddamn.
96.
Yeah, here with Tyler, we got Collin in, we got Dan and Kyle.
What's up, bros?
You know, I'll tell you right now.
If you think for one fucking second in the year of 2036
you're gonna get rich off the backs of the working class
or the fucking middle class America or lower class...
Oh yeah, I love that speech.
I love that speech.
I got a name for you, fucking, for you on a prison cell.
I'm coming for you.
Kyle, for the president.
I'm coming for you.
So how old will Kyle be in 2036?
Will you be able to run?
What's the year now?
2025.
Yeah, that's like 10 years away.
So I'll be what? 10 years older right now.
So yeah, no, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be, yeah, what is it? 35?
I think it's 35, isn't it?
Yeah, I'll be old enough.
I'll be old enough.
I'm coming for you.
And you know what?
And if you think you're gonna get fucking lobby to your way to get your corporation ahead,
I'll put you in prison.
All right.
I'll come for you.
10-4.
What are you gonna do about all the illegals?
You gonna deport them?
Illegal immigrants.
So not violent illegal immigrants gonna get a fast track to citizenship.
I'm gonna get them the citizenship.
They're gonna pay taxes.
They're gonna get benefits from the government and they're just gonna work like the working man.
I support that.
I like it.
Path to citizenship.
But if you're an illegal immigrant and you got a violent fucking history, I'll put you in prison.
I like that.
I'm taking notes.
I agree.
Yeah.
What do you think that Casey?
I so I support his path to citizenship thing.
I think that's a good idea.
You try to get them support that second thing.
What putting them in prison?
If you've got a violent history, if they're criminals.
Yeah, if they got a violent history, I'm gonna put you a prison.
So I better watch out Jeff Bezos.
Yeah, I mean or just why do we want to pay for them to be in prison just to support them?
We agree on we agree on two things on Casey.
Because no, but that's the other thing.
I'm gonna pay for them to go to prison because I had mass prison reform.
So explain this prison reform.
Prison is no longer going to be locked in a cell for how many years you go do your time, whatever you eat mac and cheese, you know, blah, blah, blah.
Go back out to the real world.
You're not ready to go.
No, you're going to be required to do college.
You got to get a bachelor's degree before you can get out.
You're going to be required to do a work service program.
You can be required so many hours of therapy and you can require so many hours of social systems work.
So what about the people that are there for like two years?
The bachelor's degree thing.
They are required.
So if you're there for two years, obviously the bachelor's can get, you know, you have to start it.
Right.
So when you come out, you're still working on it.
But if you don't finish it, you go back.
Right. You're still going to get you're going to have all those college credits.
Right. So you have the option to go back to college, but you're going to you have to do a therapy.
You have to do social work.
You have to do all the reform work so that when you come out of prison, you're ready to step in the society as a working member of this society.
To make this country regrow from the ashes.
So what about those those prisons out in like Norway and shit where you like they have like a PlayStation 5 and shit in the cells.
They could play PlayStation 5, bro.
No, I'm saying like are we going to do like something like that where like the prisons actually look, you know, so it's you know what?
If you want to keep it like cages, that's fine.
But you know what?
You're not going to spend 20 hours in a cage.
Four hours out.
You're going to spend whatever your eight hours sleeping eight hours in class and doing reform.
Work and doing things with your therapy and you're going to spend time out there working on your body doing some gym work, you know, talking to people doing community service shit like that.
You're going to become a member of the society when you come out.
You're going to be a standing member of the society.
Yeah, because I never I've never been to prison or jail.
I've only been detained, but it doesn't look nice in prison or jail.
You know, it doesn't have to look nice, but you know, the issue is we're putting people in prison for 10 years for bullshit charges.
And when they come out, all they know is prison.
So they're not ready to be a member of society.
And eventually they would just wind back up in prison.
Bro, they were threatening.
They were threatening me with six months for fucking graffiti in graffitiing an abandoned building.
Right.
And so you would call.
You just dropped out.
And you come out a better man of society.
You know, you get mental health check.
You talk to therapists.
You start to work with social workers and you do community service, bro.
Do you think that a 16 year old that's graffitiing a wall deserves jail time?
It all depends on the the outcomes of the situation.
You know, maybe you had a bad upbringing.
Maybe that prison time would do good for you, bro.
You talk to a social worker.
You get a get a path in life.
Okay, I'm going to go to college for this.
You know, I'm going to fix my life.
I'm paying my bills and you get a direction in life and you come out and you become a functioning member in society to help rebuild this nation from the ashes like a Phoenix.
Do you disagree with the do you disagree with how we treat prisoners after they've gone to jail?
Because I disagree with that.
I absolutely because like I'm going to as as president of the United States,
I'm going to make a stipend for businesses that will hire felons fresh out of fucking prison.
And so just like you know with veterans or whatever, there's going to be a program to hire felons.
So when felons come out of prison, they get hired and the business will get money for that on a tax break on the first year after hiring them.
Yeah, because I think I think they already have that because I've seen like so many of this shit.
They got one year.
I'll do it for two years because I've seen this shit where it's like these dudes who go to prison.
They serve their time in prison.
Like I feel like serving your time is the punishment.
You shouldn't be punished for the rest of your life because you went to prison like, you know,
obviously there's some like violent crimes like if you murder somebody or whatever and you're in jail and then you get out.
Might be able to come out.
No, but what I'm saying is like they shouldn't be able to like have access to like firearms and stuff.
But like I feel like that should be only like a violent crime thing, not like an every felony thing because like let's say I did,
you know, I broke into a car and I got, you know, three years in prison.
I can't have a gun or vote for the rest of my life, which is fucking nuts.
And that's ridiculous.
If you did your time in my reforms, prison reforms, and you did your social service work, you saw your therapy,
you did your college work, all of that, you're going to come out and you're going to be a standing citizen.
You're not going to be a felon.
It's not going to be a record anymore.
You did your reform.
Prison is no longer going to be a holding cell.
It's going to be reform work.
What about the, what if they actually offend again though?
Is there like a three strike system that you're going to do or something?
No, if you offend again, I'm going to put you in prison, bro.
Three strikes and you're dead.
Three strikes and you're dead?
At the end of the day, you want to fuck with my reforms, bro?
I just did all this shit to help you out.
You're going to fucking spit in my face.
I might come down and spit in your face and put you back in prison.
Yeah, that'd be my motto.
Like the first you get, you know, a second chance if you fuck up and then third strike, you're dead.
Like you would just fucking execute you.
I mean, there are some states that have the three strike system where if you get like arrested for like certain crimes three times,
you're in life, you're in for life after that.
Yeah, but I thought it should be because like some people get like fucking 10 DWI's and still keep fucking drinking and driving.
I think pedophilia should be the death penalty though, but that's another thing.
Oh yeah, but what about people that kill, kill other people about drunk driving?
That's like I think I think the death penalty should still be on the table.
Like just like I think getting rid of it entirely is is a bad thing.
I think getting I think the death penalty is a semi deterrent for things.
Yeah, definitely.
Dude, I don't know if the death penalty is the right way to fix that.
No, but I'm saying I don't think the death penalty should be completely outlawed.
There should be some crimes that the death penalty is on the table for.
It shouldn't be like, yeah, like it should be on the table for all crimes.
The death penalty should be for all crimes.
Yeah, as a as presidential candidate for 2034.
I have no comment on the death penalty.
So I K.
Okay.
This is one of the laws that I really want to be nationwide, not just in like Nevada and stuff.
You guys ever heard of the law of mutual combat?
No, what's that?
So mutual combat, I think in Nevada and a couple other like like states that were like cowboy states.
If you and another grown man agree to fight each other, you can have a witness and you can fist fight each other and then it's settled.
There's no like police involved or anything.
Oh, yeah, that's what boxing is.
No, but like it's a that's how it's going to go under my presidential campaign.
Every state's go all 50 states going to have the all 52 states because by the time I'm there, Canada, Greenland are going to be states.
And so I everybody can stand out there. All you got to do is call 911 and say, hey, listen, there's the two of us.
We don't like each other.
We got a disagreement to settle.
We're going to fist fight a cop comes down and pretty much he just plays referee at that point.
You guys slug it out.
When you get done, you both agree that it's over with no matter who won be settled, right?
You shake hands.
That's it.
Like I think that's a I disagree with how we deal with like fighting now because like I feel like if you both agree to fight each other,
there shouldn't be like assault charges on both of you.
Like both of you agreed to fight.
Let him Duke it out.
And then, you know, there's still obviously if you're sucker punching somebody without agreeing to fight, that's a different story.
But if you both agree to fight each other, I feel like agreeing to fight each other is a thing that you should be able to do as a grown man.
Like if I say, hey Casey, let's take it outside and let's punch the shit out of each other because I don't like you.
Let's fucking do it.
Like that shouldn't be a crime like that.
Like we both agreed to fight each other.
That shouldn't be a crime.
I dislike how fighting has become a crime.
It's already legal in sports though, right?
Yeah, like sports is a different thing.
But like I feel like person to person like if I'm at a bar somebody's like comes in and hits on my girl and I say, hey, I want to challenge you to mutual combat.
And they're like, yeah, let's go do that.
You go fight each other in the parking lot.
I think that should be completely legal.
Well, I agree with that actually.
But I mean, I think people are going to be able to make their own decisions one way or the other.
They're going to fucking fight each other.
Yeah, but they're going to fight each other anyways.
It shouldn't be a fucking crime to fight each other.
It's a fucking it's where we live in like a pussy society where we can't fucking punch each other anymore.
Didn't one president die in a duel or something?
Andrew Jackson got into like fucking 30 duels on the White House lawn and won all of them.
Probably Hamilton died a little sooner rather than later.
But you know, yeah, Andrew Jackson fucking shot like 30 people on the lawn in the White House.
That's amazing.
Yeah, dude, he was fucking nuts.
Also, he's the first president that had an assassination attempt against him.
And then he beat the would be assassin with his cane almost to death.
I will I will say in my presidential, you know, time in my years as a president, I will say duels will be brought back.
I agree with that, too.
I think that duels should be legal, too.
I think that you should get there is you should both get firearms or swords.
If there is two consenting parties, you guys can go there at high noon.
And when the clock strikes noon, you guys both pulled the trigger and whoever is left standing wins.
Do you think it should be flintlock pistols like the old days or do you think it should be modern pistols?
No modern pistols.
We're going flintlock.
You get one shot.
And then what about the sword combat?
Because that was that was another thing that you could duel with back.
So sword combat is going to be done within the arena like much like Rome or whatever an amphitheater.
I think I told this is like it's not an insane like thing for me.
I think that dueling and fighting should be legal still.
I feel like that would solve so many problems.
Also, if you had a fucking problem with the president and you were like the person I was trying to run against the president,
you two should be able to duel on the White House lawn in a public thing.
And it's filmed and whoever lives gets to be the president.
Yeah.
I will challenge any person that opposes me in my campaign for 2034 to a boxing match.
12 round championship match on the White House lawn.
I would fucking love that.
I think presidential boxing would be fucking awesome.
I do it.
This says Andrew Jackson was in a hundred duels.
That's incredible, bro.
This dude was fucking nuts.
Andrew Jackson walk up to every single meeting, every single political meeting and say,
you don't keep that motherfucking thing on me.
It says that many of these confrontations were in defense of his wife's honor.
Dude, his wife was a whore.
Probably his wife was a whore.
Dude, fucking he just was like, you fucking disrespect my wife.
I'll shoot you on the White House lawn.
My wife sucked whose dick?
All right, let's go have a duel out in front of high noon.
Just fucking dude, just fucking shoot each other in the White House.
I did a hundred dude, a hundred duels.
One hundred and oh bro.
Brother was catching bullets here and there.
Oh, we got caught a couple of times.
Yeah, Jackson caught a couple of straights.
They said he carried the bullet for the rest of his life.
Good for him.
Fucking that's a badass dude.
I hated it.
Jackson my whole life for what he did to them engines.
Now I'm starting to earn some fucking respect for dude.
He fucking dude, Andrew Jackson was one of the most insane presidents we've ever had.
He had a hundred duels.
He had the first assassination attempt against him that he beat a guy to death with a cane.
Then he fucking had he made government cheese a thing like government cheese was because
of fucking Andrew Jackson.
Talking cheese talking about beating somebody with a cane, bro.
We need to bring back the times in Congress and like House of Representatives and all
of a sudden, like instead of people just like yelling at each other over the mic, they just
fucking fist fight.
Cause like that shit happened back then.
So like all the way up to like after the Civil War, like if there was a disagreement, some
guy said, you know what?
I want to free slaves.
And some guy from the South is like, fuck you.
We're not free slaves.
And now all of a sudden there's this massive fucking fist fight going on in Congress.
Like we got to bring that shit back, bro.
I think that fighting should be completely legal.
It's a fucking problem that fighting isn't legal anymore.
Yeah.
Didn't they get into like a fist fight in Congress?
The issue is when people get jumped and they get hurt real bad because of that, you know,
but if you want to do a one-on-one fight or a two-on-one fight, your boys come down.
What's the point of the other one?
A couple of blocks down, come down.
You say, you know what?
Our five best against your five best.
You two get the fuck out.
Call it a day.
That's all right.
What's the point of having this one?
Dude, fight like, like I said, mutual combat should be a fucking thing.
Like it's like, I agree.
Oh, Ellie back.
Oh, damn it.
So it's one or the other.
It's a prisoner.
We're back.
Yeah.
If Valley packs out my VPs and present.
So welcome back to the show.
Welcome.
I was going to ask how he met, why he put the earbud in his left ear.
Can't even get out of it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'll take it out.
All right.
I don't care.
I just wondered why.
Yeah.
I need some more.
Like, are you completely deaf in that ear?
Yes.
I got here.
Nothing.
I mean, I can have some more questions from my campaign or what I agree with the fighting
and dueling stance.
I think those are two perfectly good things.
How do you feel about black people?
I do like your prison reform.
I love black people.
They should be seen as equal though.
All right.
Get rid of affirmative action.
There's a lot of African American ice out there currently, you know,
I'm going to get rid of affirmative action because black people are currently owning
the NBA and the rap game.
All right.
So I think they've won.
That's right.
I think affirmative action really is an insult to the groups that it's for.
It's an insult to the Asians, bro.
They're the smartest fucking people in this country and they fucking, you tell me they
don't get scholarships?
Dude, the Asians, I dislike the Asians because they took my last name.
I want to try Tyler's.
Motherfuckers just, you know, decided that Lee was their name and it's not, it's my name.
You can't take that.
Lee's German, not fucking Asian.
Well, you know, families marry, Tyler.
Yeah, but-
You know what the issue I have with you, Lee?
What's that?
Is you share the same name as General Lee.
Well, he is actually, he's actually my grandfather.
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
He's a fucking loser and us in the North, we beat his fucking sorry ass across the fucking
South.
Well, my family got-
Can I get a fucking, how do you do for the North, baby?
Well, my family got, my family got this-
Fuck yeah.
My family got disgraced after the civil war.
Fucking government!
As they should.
How dare you?
How dare you stand against the union?
So we got, you know, scattered and-
And you know what, when I give over to you on January 6th of 2034, Tyler Lee, you'll
be the second person I put in fucking prison.
How about that?
For the crimes of my ancestor?
For the crimes of my ancestor.
I'll fucking pardon him when I become president.
You gotta lock me and Tyler in semi, semi solitary confinement.
It's just me and him sharing a solitary confinement.
You might be my vice president, Ali Maca, right?
So I might not lock you up yet.
All right.
No, I think, I think you two-
Wow, this is fucking delayed.
Yeah, there is.
I'll be the scapegoat.
Give me a sec.
Now we're back.
When things fall apart, the first thing I'm going to do is throw Ali Mac in prison.
He fucked everything up.
He was the worst in my area.
When the CIA comes to me, it goes, uh, Mr. President, yeah, there's been three assassination
attempts on your, uh, your head.
We've thwarted all of them, but things are not going well.
I'm going to go like, what do you mean?
The CIA is going to be the one trying to whack you.
I'm going to go get that fat fuck Ali Mac out of bed, throw him in prison.
Don't worry guys.
It's all fixed.
Then Tyler comes in out of you.
You pardon Tyler, bring him in.
And then when you fuck the second term up again, then Tyler goes into claim.
Well, no, that's what I'm going to have to do when I lose the favor of the South.
I'm going to be like, I am now pardoning a member of General Lee's family.
He's not going to be the vice president.
I'll be like, hello.
Thank you.
Yes.
I'm here.
And then I'll resurrect one statue, one statue, Andrew Stonewall Jackson.
I'll just resurrect that somewhere.
Arizona, where nobody wants to go because it's too fucking hot.
You know, I bet people, I feel like Georgia would be a better spot for that because fucking
if they have George is way worse than Arizona, people would go crazy.
I've already resurrected three George Floyd statues in the North.
Did you see the fucking the mural for George Floyd got struck with fucking lightning that
one time?
Oh, it's terrible.
It's terrible.
It just fucking exploded.
Like they had like a video of it.
But listen, at all, you know, that's a loss that should not have happened.
You know, for, for which group, whatever you want, but that's a loss of life.
It shouldn't have happened, but is it like that much of a loss?
Jesus Christ.
He's like a crack head who would beat his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah.
But under my prison reforms, he would have got arrested for one of them and he would
have come out a better man of society.
Yeah, I don't know.
I just don't think it's that you do know.
You do know.
And you know what?
If you fucking disagree with my prison reforms, Dan, I'll put you in prison.
So I got a, I got a non-political question.
All right.
What size of tits is too big?
You know what?
I think you go past triple D. You're talking about sagging at that point and you're probably
talking about a gut.
You're dealing with a gut.
Right.
They're fat boobs.
They're not real boobs.
Yeah.
At that point in time, did you earn those boobs by eating too much?
Yeah, probably.
It wasn't like a genetic thing.
What if you, what if you're like, it's like a real thin person and you just got fucking
massive honkers?
Is there, is there a pardon card for that?
That's completely different.
But now we're talking about anomalies, anomalies of science.
Okay.
Yeah.
Their backs going to be fucked up too.
I might, I'm just-
Probably going to be rolling around in a wheelchair.
My fiance is a hundred and-
If they got tits that big, their backs going to be fucked up after I get out of the wall
and out and fucking walk.
Oh no.
I know it every fucking day.
Fucking, my fiance is 130 pounds and she has fucking jade tits.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not going to believe it unless you, unless I see it in, you know.
I need proof for that.
Yeah, I'm going to need a picture.
I'm going to need a picture for science.
For scientific reasons.
But no, her back says, she constantly says like her backs like just fucking crooked as
a question mark.
Fucking, it's ridiculous.
Well, we know it's cause you're not blowing it the fuck out.
That's for sure.
Nah, dude.
I fixed her back like six times and it's not working.
I'm sure.
I'm sure you fix her back.
He's a chiropractor in his spare time.
I'm a chiropractor.
All I'm going to say is man, you see that homeless guy outside the gas station?
Sometimes.
Buy him a beer.
Buy him a hamburger.
Buy him a coffee.
Give him a blanket.
Kiss him on the forehead.
What if he's doing some schizo shit?
Empathy, love, and consideration for your neighbor.
I'm going to make this once great nation rise from the ashes like a phoenix.
What about the schizo ones that are telling you that they're going to eat your liver?
Buy him a beer.
Buy him a hamburger.
Buy him a coffee.
Give him a blanket.
Kiss him on the forehead.
Give him your liver.
Love, empathy.
I'm going to make this once great nation rise from the ashes like a phoenix.
I feel like that's just a soundbite because that was the same exact tone in everything.
Yeah, you want to make this a fucking soundbite?
I'll put you in prison.
Dude, I think this country has risen from the ashes in the past couple of weeks.
Oh, you think so, Dan?
You think so?
You think I can't fix this fucking country?
No, I think, you know, maybe-
Watch your fucking tone.
Watch your tone.
Because I'll put you in fucking prison, bro.
You're putting people in prison?
I think Trump's doing a fantastic job so far.
Yeah, you think so?
You don't think he's going to do a better job than me?
Did you know the White House, they actually bag your shit?
What does that mean?
Like the president's fecal matter does not go to the general source system.
What?
Stop.
That's a true thing.
You can look that up.
I have heard that before.
You can go out with the president on a leash like he's a dog.
He like takes his shit-
No, no.
If you take his shit-
The guy's got to like-
If you take his shit in the White House, you take his shit in the White House as a government
official, there's bags in the toilet that collect your shit and then they get incinerated.
That's a fact.
What's the point of that though?
Because then they can't-
Well, they can't steal the fucking DNA of Bill Biden.
They can't steal the DNA and then-
And fucking clone him, right?
False news.
That's fucking real, dude.
He's a liar.
I'll fact check it.
Tyler, Tyler, he's pale white.
I am super pale.
I am really pale, dude.
You know, if I get elected president, I'm going to put him and his whole family in prison
for what they did to the union.
What about my mom's side?
Do they get to stay out?
Yeah, you know what?
Your slut of a mother wanted to fucking marry into General Lee's family.
I'll put her in prison too.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I support putting all of General Lee's ancestors in prison.
My wife wanted to marry a member of General Lee's fucking family.
I'll put her in prison.
Everybody you know is going to put you in prison.
Everybody, including Kyle himself.
Kyle himself is going.
I will complete-
Press conference is like, well, I did a few podcasts with General Lee's great, great,
great grandson.
Apparently now I have to go to prison.
Kyle, when you become president, will you put former president Trump in prison for his
34 felonies?
He's probably going to be dead.
I'm going to be-
Well, the thing is-
Even if he's like 90 years old.
None of them are actually felonies.
They just like upcharged him or whatever they're all in this misdemeanor account.
So what I'm going to do is he's going to spend six months in prison under my prison
reform.
He's going to come out a brand new man.
He's going to be a great member of society.
Is it going to be like a fucking pound me in the ass prison?
It's going to be a pro.
There's going to be no more rich people prisons, bro.
Martha Stewart went to this fucking beautiful prison and sold Tupperware.
Fuck no.
She's going to go to prison with fucking Derry the fucking dyke.
All right?
They're going to share a fucking cell.
Diddy's in that fucking terrible prison in New York.
He's with fucking Luigi and fucking- He's with the Diddler, Luigi, fucking-
It's pro.
It's Diddy, Luigi, and R. Kelly are all in the same-
So, uh, Jesleen fucking- or what the fuck her name?
Jesleen?
Yeah, she's in the same prison.
My mind is telling me no.
But my body, my body is telling me yeah.
I can't tell if that's Dan or Kyle.
That's your 2034 president-elect Kyle Franklin.
All right?
What the fuck was that?
I just dropped fucking a glass across the floor.
That's even worse.
Have you ever done a thing where you drop a knife and you try to reach for it and you're
like, oh, no, no, don't try to catch that one.
One time I dropped a knife straight through my foot.
That sounds awesome.
Yeah, it was not good.
Casey, why do you fucking drink wine with fucking ice in it?
You fucking absolute fucking mongoloid.
I'm fucking old because I'm a liberal and I support the Democratic Party.
I'll tell you what, Casey, if you're going to support a political fucking party, you
know, Democrats, Republicans, whatever, and you get colluding with other fucking politicians,
I'd gladly put you in fucking prison, bro.
Can you take the premium cracker company and fucking put them in prison because the generic
crackers-
The first thing I'm going to do, the first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to abolish
fucking political parties.
And if you're caught colluding with other politicians, you're going to prison, bro.
Nah, dude, I need you to fucking put the premium cracker company in prison because you get
the generic crackers and it completely fills the sleeve of crackers.
And then you get the quote unquote premium cracker company and they only fill like 90%
of it.
There's a 10% fucking cracker taken away from you and that shouldn't be allowed.
Tyler wants all crackers to go to prison.
Yeah.
It sounds like you're fucking race baiting here.
So everybody's got some skeletons in their closet, right?
Right, right.
You go to run for president.
What are they digging up on Kyle?
Oh shit.
Kyle's on drugs.
He fucked a lot of hookers.
That's about it, bro.
But who hasn't done that?
You just got to come out and fucking say it at the beginning so everybody knows.
I'm going to tell them.
You ever fuck a hooker?
A hooker?
Yeah.
A hooker.
What do you hookers, bro?
If you're not paying for sex, are you really a US president?
I never have.
Only strippers.
What's the best strip club you've been to, Kyle?
Decarlos.
I love it.
Greasy, dirty, and with cockroaches in the corner.
Is that the best girls?
Actually, Sex Pistol in Montreal because they show everything, bro.
Full touch.
The best part was there was eight of us.
There was a bachelor party.
We were up there in Montreal.
We were all fucking 19 years old, except for the guy that's getting married.
He's 20.
He's going away military, whatever.
He's going to go to fucking Afghanistan.
There's fucking three strippers.
I don't want to call them hookers.
Three strippers.
Full fucking... They got their panties off and everything.
I look over and my buddy's just fucking finger blasting this one boy.
There's another one just fucking eating her ass.
I'm like, Jesus Christ.
I love Canada, bro.
The strippers are hookers, though.
Is prostitution legal in Canada?
No.
Well, I think it's frowned upon.
All I'm saying is the strip clubs are full show.
The strip clubs here are also full show, but they're like, you can't touch me type shit.
See, I don't like that.
No, but Montreal, you could be sitting there with your whole fist in her asshole, bro.
Jesus Christ.
Speaking of that, we're going to do episode 99 or 100 in Canada, I guess.
Episode 100 in Montreal in a strip club would be fantastic.
That's where we're planning on going, Montreal.
I will do my first presidential video or whatever for 2034 in the Montreal strip club.
I'll be like, you want to get fucking French bitches like this that look fucking sexy?
Dude, I hate the French accent.
French accent makes me want to fucking kill myself.
That French accent, suck a dick.
Oh my God.
We should do the podcast live from the strip club.
They wouldn't let us.
Just bring a bit of the fucking mics in.
Yeah, we're doing a podcast.
We could get a stripper on an interviewer for a guest.
How much do you think you'd have to pay a stripper to have her as a guest on a podcast?
A hundred bucks.
You think a hundred bucks?
Yeah.
Maybe even 50.
It depends on how fucking.
Just buy a private dance and be like, yeah, we just want to talk to you on the podcast.
You're going to Decarlo's, you're talking $15.
Why are you paying?
You say we want to have an interview.
Don't even tell them it's a podcast.
We'd like to interview you.
Hi, my name's Ali Max.
Oh, here we fucking go.
I was half promised the vice presidency in 2013.
If without paying you, if you'd come on as a fucking podcast guest on my podcast.
I don't think I sound like that.
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, listen, if you put me in prison, do I get conjugal
visits by strippers?
Oh bro.
I already told you there's four pillars therapy, social service work, uh, fucking community
service and a bachelor's degree in college.
That's all you're fucking doing, bro.
If you're, if you think you're getting pussy and fucking prison, you're fucking high, bro.
I don't want to go to prison.
That hurts.
Well then you will, bro.
You're fucking doomed, bro.
Your family already broke the law.
How dare they fucking.
Over a hundred years ago.
Oh fuck.
Somebody's got to fucking punishment.
Tyler South was punished for fucking like 20,000 years.
You are direct descendant of general Lee.
Just go back and punish the cell again.
I'm going to abolish slavery.
It's already abolished, but I want Tyler to pay for slavery.
Yeah, he's going to make his vice president, re-institute slavery, throw him in prison
and then get rid of it.
That's perfect.
Ali back to be like, I've re-instituted slavery.
One day later I'll be like, I'm putting him in fucking prison.
Slavery abolished.
Slavery is legal in California.
See America.
I got your fucking back.
Slavery legitimately is legal in California.
Yeah.
You know what?
Every politician in California, I'll throw them in prison.
Mike, they haven't abolished it yet, which is hysterical.
It's abolishing the federal rule.
The issue is I'm probably getting assassinated because I'm throwing a lot of people in prison.
Trump this week, he signed an executive order to put all biological males back in male prison,
which I think is a good idea.
What?
They're going to get their busies?
Yeah, because then you don't have-
Do they have busies yet?
Or are they just, they have cocks still?
No, they're just-
So wait, wait, wait.
Hold on a sec.
So we're looking at a future.
Kyle becomes president.
I can go to jail.
I can get a bachelor's degree and there's trannies.
Get the fuck out of here.
No, no.
There's no trannies because Trump just banned them from the jails.
Oh no, listen.
No, no, no.
They're biological males.
They have to go back to the male prisons.
If you think I'm separating prisons between males and females, you're high.
It's going to cost too much fucking money.
Everybody's getting lumped into one fucking cell.
If you want to fuck, listen, here's the fucking thing.
If you're in prison for over four years and you don't get your bachelor's degree, you're
going to get killed.
I support it.
I got a four year degree, but I spent two and a half years of it fucking this broad
bed, next to my fucking prison cell and I fucking failed college.
I'm sorry, bro.
Death penalty.
What did he do?
Death penalty.
Arm robbery.
What did he do?
Arm robbery.
Well, don't chase pussy, bro.
I gave you a chance to be a member of society.
45% of incarcerated individuals have ADHD.
So do I.
You know how that bachelor's degree thing is going to work out.
They'll die, bro.
They'll die.
I guess they're just going to die.
Hey.
I'm giving you a fucking chance, bro.
Do you want to sit and rot in a fucking cell until you come out to go back in the cell?
Or do you want to come out a member of society?
But what if you have autism, dude?
You're going to die, bro.
You can make it easier for people.
No, fuck you.
Listen, you did something to get put there too.
I laid the groundwork.
There's four pillars.
I'd be a political prisoner, dude.
I didn't do anything to get there.
Social work.
Fucking therapy.
Community service and a bachelor's degree.
If you can't do those four things before you get out of prison, you're dead.
What if it's like an art degree?
It's fucking useless.
You got your bachelor's.
You know what?
I'm proud of you.
You can go back for art history, Tyler.
Dude, I have almost all my credits for fucking fine arts at the Valley, dude.
You know, but the thing is, you know, I'm going to put you in prison for a free bachelor's
degree, right?
If you're going to waste your time on a useless degree, that's on you, bro.
What's more useless?
Fucking art degree or European history degree?
Probably art, because listen, you can become a professor with the European history.
I could be an art teacher.
Don't you think this is going to lead to people intentionally getting incarcerated to go to
college, though?
What if you make it a problem?
If you want to get incarcerated, be my fucking guest, bro.
I'll put you in prison.
I'll put everybody in prison.
I don't give a fuck.
Who's paying for that?
Who's paying for it?
The fucking taxpayers.
I love it.
I support it.
It's at socialism and I support it.
All I'm saying is, all I'm saying is you want a better society.
We got to reform people.
We got to make them a better member of society.
Are you going to put yourself on a dollar bill?
I will be printed on the three dollar bill.
Correct.
There we go.
Let me be your vice president.
No, do not ever let fucking Casey O'Neill near anything.
We're on the same side.
Casey will be my second vice president after I put that fat fuck Ali Maxson in.
Oh my God.
We got to talk about some of this crazy shit that Trump was doing this week.
Like fucking Canada.
That works though.
That works.
Before we get too far into it, any final questions before I... I got to go wash my ass and go
to bed.
All right.
What'd you say?
I got to wash my ass and go to bed, Dan.
All right.
Some people got to work for a living.
And if you don't want to work for a living, I'll put you in prison.
Prison for everyone.
We need to make a fucking political poster that just says prison underneath Kyle.
It's going to be my face.
It's just going to say prison.
Prison needs you.
It's going to say Franklin 2034.
Prison.
I swear to God, bro, I'm putting cops, firefighters, politicians, business owners.
Everybody's going to prison.
What about babies?
Can we put babies in prison?
If a baby wants to break the fucking law, try me, bitch.
How many firefighters going to prison?
Because I swear to God, you want to cheat on your wife 17 fucking times, you're going
to go to prison.
That's a fact.
I don't think they all do that though, bro.
My good fucking portion of them do, Daniel.
Why is that such a big problem of firefighters cheating on their wives?
Because all these fucking hot sluts go to these fucking commercial agencies to work
as EMTs at 18 years old.
It's hard.
You're going to put all these pussy around them?
What are they going to do?
Have restraint.
Also the kind of people that become firemen.
Correct.
Some of the people that become firemen are just fucking, you know, we'll leave it there.
All I say is those kind of people are going to prison.
Everyone's prison.
Kyle Franklin, prison for everyone.
There's going to be a prison in every fucking city.
That's how many people I'm putting in prison.
You want to act the fuck up?
Try me, bitch.
So that's you, you're going to college, bitch.
I'll do it.
But that's the thing too, bro.
You're going to prison?
No, fuck, yeah, you're going to prison, but you're going to fucking college.
You did do hard time.
So can we just change all the colleges, the prisons?
A good 50% of them, correct.
Because you know what?
50% of the colleges are prisons anyways.
All right.
Yeah.
Hudson Valley Community College, just put a fucking fence up around it.
I wasn't allowed to rollerblade there.
It is a prison.
Prison.
Dude, I fucking, I almost got kicked out of college because I refused to stop rollerblading
at fucking Hudson Valley.
What?
Yeah, dude.
That's a weird hill to die on.
I kept rollerblading the class because one of my classes was at the very other end and
I had five minutes to get to my other class.
So I just rollerbladed to my other class.
What's the matter?
You couldn't buy a bike?
Fuck bikes, dude.
Rollerblading is better.
Dude, I love rollerblading.
Listen.
Yeah, but you know what, Dan?
Rollerblading was illegal.
Bikes weren't.
Tyler, you're going to prison.
Fucking send him to fucking prison.
You're rollerblading.
You can't do it.
Ironically enough, you're going to the prison, which is on the grounds of the college you
committed the crime on.
So you don't have to go very far.
You better hope you get your fucking bachelor's degree because if not-
What if it's an associate's degree college?
What happens then?
Doesn't matter, bro.
I'm not talking about associate's degree.
You want to spend four years in prison to get your associate's degree?
Death penalty.
All right?
There's no use for you in society.
What if you didn't get your GED by the time you go to prison?
Is that just grounds for automatic execution or do you have a chance?
No, bro.
You're going to work your ass off for two months before you start your college program,
get your GED, and if you don't get it, do I have to say it?
No, I think we got the point.
How many people on this podcast don't have their bachelor's degree?
I don't even have my fucking associate's.
I'm a couple of-
I have 32 college credits.
A lot of you guys are going to the death penalty.
I hate to tell you.
I have my bachelor's.
I have 48 credits.
I graduated college without a degree.
He's not safe.
I have a certificate.
Does that count?
Right.
Oh, you're going to prison.
All right, Kyle.
Kyle, crazy, crazy thought.
What if you already have your bachelor's degree when you go to prison?
What happens then?
Well, then you're going to a master's program, bro.
Free ride to a master's.
Oh, you're sweet.
What if a fucking doctor goes to prison?
Yeah, what if you have your PhD?
Have you ever met a good guy with a PhD?
No.
Exactly.
Death penalty.
If you got your life so in order, if you got your doctorate, your PhD, whatever, and you
doing so well that you wind up in prison, I just hate to tell you, bro, you got a year
and a half left to live.
How do you intend to execute?
Is that going to be lethal injection, hanging, firing squad, gas chamber?
No, bro.
I'm not putting the guilt on anybody.
I'm giving you a fucking nine millimeter.
You're going to shoot yourself.
What if you refuse to do it, then do you get shot?
Actually, actually, are you guys a big fan of bread and games?
Of what?
Of bread and games.
I've heard of bread and games.
Hang on, hang on.
Let me crack a fucking other.
Happy Dad.
God, fucking Happy Dad sounds good right about now.
Isn't Happy Dad's like a fucking brand by somebody?
It's a Celtic, correct?
Yeah, are you guys not a...
You want a drink?
No, why not?
Why not?
I only have wine or whiskey.
We're drinking wine.
Fuck yeah, baby.
If you guys are sentenced to the death penalty, instead of me killing you or executing you,
right?
Throw some ice in there.
I want to see what this is all about.
Please.
You now become a gladiator.
You're a gladiator.
I'll fucking take gladiator.
And at the minimum, four times a year, I'm going to hold bread and games.
And when things get bad, really bad in the nation, I'll hold bread and games again.
So it's going to be like the Hunger Games?
No, it'll be free food to everybody.
And you go to the Coliseum and you watch the gladiators kill each other.
Can I sign up to be a gladiator?
I mean, you can relinquish your freedom to become a gladiator.
But let's see, could it be professional gladiators versus prisoners?
I think that'd be...
A professional gladiator is a prisoner.
In the moment times, you know, technically gladiators was slaves, so they had no rights.
You know, so that's kind of what I'm going for here.
Hey, did you know that you could drink gladiator semen and like that was like a potion back
then?
That is a strong fucking stream, bro.
What the fuck?
Did you just dig out, dude?
Yeah, he was pissing, bro.
I think he was dying.
Oh shit.
Kyle, take your dick out.
I want to hear it on the podcast.
Take your dick out, bro.
Hit it against something.
We'll guess how big it is if you flop it on something.
What if I...
Hang on.
I got a bottle here.
I got a piss.
I'm going to piss in it.
Jesus Christ.
What happened?
He's pissing in a bottle.
Oh, that's a first on the podcast.
Or is it?
I asked one of my friends at work, it was his last day, so I was like, you should come
on the podcast.
He's like, I'm a bleeding heart liberal.
I would probably cry.
I was like, that would be a first on our podcast.
No one's cried.
Yeah.
That wouldn't do very well for your argument if you brought a strong liberal here and they
just had a sobbing meltdown.
I feel like that would just fuel the fire for David Piper.
That would be awful.
That would just be a disaster on all of them.
All right.
I'm going to make you cry.
I couldn't even fucking hear it.
It just was like a...
Yeah.
I noticed the audio wasn't capturing it.
Yeah.
That's probably...
In reality, I have a small dick.
All right.
So, like, what's your favorite bottle to piss in if you have to choose a bottle to piss in?
I prefer Gatorade bottles.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
Gatorade bottles are the best ones.
You can shove your whole dick in there.
When you do cans, that's a risky game.
Now cans too risky.
Yeah, you can slice your fucking cock tip off if you're too in the bag.
Well, this was a screw-off top monster can.
Oh, yeah.
You're good.
That's got a good diameter there.
You can get some good flow.
It's quite warm, bro.
I'm holding it now.
It's almost like a hand warmer.
You can actually...
That's a survival tactic.
If you have a bottle, you can actually piss in it and then huddle around it.
And then put it within your jacket, like on your heart.
And then it warms you up.
On your forearm.
And then you drink it when you get thirsty.
That is actually pretty warm.
I am now going to invent a hollow dildo that you piss in and then give it to your lover
to fuck herself with.
Or you can cum in it and then when it comes, it just...
How much cum are you shooting at?
You're going to put the whole dildo up, really?
Have you ever seen the horror stories out of nine of the jars of cum that people put
action figures and shit in?
What?
What are you doing with that, bro?
That's insane.
I've heard horror stories of people putting My Little Ponies in fucking jars and just
cumming in it.
You make me want to chug this entire glass of wine with the shit you're talking about.
You could grow a fucking Chia Pet with all that cum.
I'm too sober for this podcast right now.
You're going to chug the whole glass of wine, Ali Mac?
Really?
Get the iced wine.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
I'm on my 12th happy death.
All right?
Good.
I'm running for president in 2034.
If I was at home, I'd be just as in the bag.
I do not drink.
I was very in the bag when we guest starred on your podcast.
That was...
Yeah, me too.
I don't even remember.
If anybody...
I'm so fucking frustrated on that day.
If anybody was really in the bag was 19 Bud Light Deep Kyle that fell asleep.
That was so fucking funny.
That was so funny.
I love how the tactic I came up with too.
It was like, all right, it's like a dog, like panting.
If everybody gets quiet, it's going to put the attention on them and we all shut up for
a second and then you were like, oh man, I was muted the whole time.
It's like, yeah, sure you fucking worked Kyle.
Whatever.
I was like, oh bro, I've been talking the whole time.
Nah, we heard you fucking snoring.
Like, well, I can see on my screen that your mic was definitely going.
I don't think you were talking though.
You tried to backpedal.
It just didn't work out for you.
It was like, if you could just imagine some like fat white security guard with stains
on his shirt and he's like doubled over with his triple chin showing.
That was me.
You were Paul Blart in it.
Oh shit.
That was a good time.
Oh man.
Your podcast is a lot more serious than ours, dude.
Like I feel like underdressed.
Like I feel like I went to like a formal event and I'm wearing a fucking hoodie and everyone
else is wearing a tuxedo and I'm like, Ooh, I'm in the wrong place right now.
It was just the way I thought it was going to, to be completely.
It's why I like coming on here.
Cause I'm like, I don't have to have any filter.
You can take your ties off.
You can just come on this fucking trash podcast.
You want
to come on my podcast is like, all right, this is like the fucking dumpster podcast
where anything goes.
The trailer part podcast.
Basically what it is is like, I got a whole fucking comedy venue and we're doing a PC
comedy on my podcast in the fucking venue.
But then when you step out the back by the dumpster where people are smoking cigarettes,
that's where you guys are.
We're the Jerry Springer of podcast, dude.
And they're like, Kyle, why are you always out there by the dumpster smoking cigarettes?
I'm like, don't fuck a worry about it.
All right.
We have a clean comedy club.
This is the, this is the cool kids zone.
Yeah.
We'll do a, uh, we'll do a collab untitled podcast, survive the 6.5 in Montreal, live
in Montreal.
Dude, I have to get Shane.
Oh, like the only thing is Shane can't do Thursday nights because he works 24 on Thursday.
So I gotta get all you guys free.
You guys are fucking off over there, aren't you?
Oh my God.
All you guys pretty much Shane's free.
Cause it'd be me and Shane together.
I'm off fucking Wednesday through Saturday.
Well, we could do a fucking Friday night or Saturday night, you know?
Yeah.
Friday.
Yeah.
But I, so I'll leave you guys.
I'll leave you with a funny open mic story.
Yeah.
Tuesday night I'm going to open mic, right?
And so I started, let me go back here.
This, I wrote this new bit about how I, uh, was like 17 years old, half a mile to the
road to my, Jesus Christ.
I'll just fucking wait till you guys are done doing fucking smell assault over there.
At least we're not fucking falling asleep, Kyle.
Okay.
You fucking set yourself up for that one.
It's good.
I drove by Alan Mack and a gilded on an ambulance the other day.
All right.
And he didn't fucking waving me up with the air horn at him.
I did not even, I did not see that.
I'm checked out when I'm at work.
It was, it was last week.
I was pretty sure it was a Wednesday or Thursday.
I blew the air horn out of a gilded on an ambulance.
I'm like, Oh, that's Ali Mack.
And I was like, whoa, whoa.
And he just fucking fucked off.
What were you driving?
A fucking garbage truck.
All right.
I'll keep an eye out for the fucking garbage man.
My bad.
Fuck.
What company do you work for?
County waste.
Oh, okay.
I have city waste for mine.
I was wondering if it was like twin bridges or something.
Fuck twin bridges.
All right.
Don't even get me started.
All right.
I'm going to come up for a whole podcast to talk about those scumbags.
It's on site.
It's on site with twin bridges.
That's what I have.
I swear to God it is on site.
Anyone, any you twin bridges motherfuckers want to step up to me, you brown motherfuckers
with your stupid white trucks and your brown cans.
I'll fuck you up.
I got 20 of those.
I'm the fucking president in 2034.
I swear to God, if you're employed by twin bridges that time, I'll put you in prison.
Twin bridges gave me a full year of free trash.
So that's what they did.
That's the thing.
I can't do it.
I can't get on it.
No, I want to hear it.
I want to hear it.
It's going to take me an hour and a half.
I can't do it.
I'll talk about twin bridges.
I got a story.
All right.
Okay.
I got permanently banned from a comedy club.
So how'd it happen?
I'm working on a new bit about how I, when I was 17 years old, I drunk drove for a half
a mile down my street.
And then I eventually drove through my parents' garage door and broke it.
And so the whole bit pretty much is just me and my dad fist fighting in the driveway.
But it comes down to like my mom, and this is all true story.
My mom came out with a cast iron pan and like hit my dad in the head with like a cast iron
pan.
Like she was fucking Gary Sheffield in his fourth home run for the year.
And then she was like threatening to hit me with the pan.
But instead my dad like punched her in the mouth.
Well, the whole joke was funny, right?
All the way up until my dad punched her in the mouth and then the whole comedy club was
like, Oh, and I went, all right.
Like why is this guy trauma dumping on the stage?
I had the mic up and I went, all right.
So that bombed.
That wasn't funny.
So I go to go onto another bed.
I had two more minutes left.
This girl in the back heckled me.
It was like, you think the plastic violence is funny?
And I was like, I'll tell you what.
I'm going to go to another bed.
And I was like, I'll tell you what, if I was married to you, I think it's real fucking
funny.
I saw the red light come on.
I was like, all right, that's why I said we don't ever want to see you here ever again.
And I'm like, say the fucking comedy club.
I don't want to fuck it from a blast.
Now you should say it.
That's what we do on this podcast.
We're like, we don't ever want to see you here ever again.
Oh God.
That's got to be a terrible feeling.
It was horrible because like the worst part is like the whole joke was like funny and
I didn't even get to the punch line of after my dad like punched my mom in the mouth and
then like, but then my mom becomes fucking a super saiyan and like knocks my dad out
and then like goes.
It was a whole, there's a whole bit after my dad punches her in the mouth, but like I
couldn't get to it.
So I'm like, fuck, I didn't even hit the funniest part.
Now they're heckling me.
Now I got to do like, now I got to go after the heckler.
Now I'm the asshole.
And then I get off and they're like, we don't ever want to see you here again.
And I was like, this fucking sucks.
Did the line against the heckler at least get a chuckle out of some people?
Please tell me some people found that funny.
Yeah, like there were some people that laughed, but now I'm sitting out in my truck like after
the fucking sets, like 1130 a night.
And I was like, I fucking suck, bro.
I think that's fucking funny.
What the fuck am I doing?
What was the rest of it?
It's like, why the fuck am I doing comedy?
I fucking suck, bro.
What was the punchline on it though?
Yeah.
What happened after your dad punched your mom in the mouth?
Your dear old dad.
It like goes into another like couple minutes story about how my parents reformed their
marriage and I became the oddball out like an illegal immigrant and all this and that.
I have to tell the whole fucking joke and like, it just, I'm so flustered about the
joke now.
I've told it to people and they're like, bro, that's fucking hilarious.
And then I tell it on stage and the first time I tell it on stage, I get fucking canceled.
Fuck me.
And I spent like an hour in my truck, like you're a piece of shit.
You're a fat fucking piece of shit.
Nobody's ever going to find you funny.
Stop doing comedy.
Why the fuck are you doing this?
Terrible fucking comic.
Nobody finds you funny.
You've been canceled already.
Well, Kyle, I find you very funny.
Let's just be real.
It's like eight mile movie.
Well, absolutely.
Like at some point in time, I can't wait.
Like I hope I make it big for this one reason that I can go back to that comedy club that
will not be named and just fucking sell it out.
And they're like, who's back motherfucker?
Places probably under new ownership.
Nobody from the crowd.
That's the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that Shane Gillis got like canceled,
you know, well, he got hired as SNL and then he came back to SNL and well, my favorite
podcast, Matt and Shane secret podcast and well, obviously on title.
All right.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You guys are good.
You guys keep me going sometimes, but Matt and Shane secret podcast.
If you guys get ahold of the old Testament, that shit's good.
But like just hearing the fact that he got canceled and I came back like I'm like, all
right, maybe I could do it.
Yeah.
All right, Kyle, Kyle, before you go, before you go, I got to see a woman get punched in
the fucking mouth by a grown man, but the shit's funny.
Before you go to the story, I got my ass beat by my mother, bro.
I'm looking at a, I'm looking at a Jersey right now of Adam Fox and the four nation
face off the USA Jersey.
Should I pull the trigger on it?
Yes.
Wait, hang on.
How much?
Uh, two 50 do it, do it, do it.
I might do it.
Oh, Foxy is the best player on the fucking roster, bro.
Yeah.
It's the four nations face off USA Jersey.
I'm like, Ooh, that looks beautiful.
I don't even want to talk about my Sabres right now.
Did you guys see what happened with the Sabres this week?
No.
So Tage Thompson was like the Sabres best player gets like a super dirty hit late on
him and nobody on the Sabres did a fucking thing.
Really?
Did you guys go after the guy?
Nobody even checked on Tage.
He was on the ground for like two minutes.
Yeah.
And then like after the, like it was just disgusting.
Even the announcers are like, is there really no answer to that?
Like he just got a fucking chicken wing thrown at his fucking head.
Like he went one way, his helmet went the other, and he was just on the ground face
down like a fucking dead guy in a pool for like, for like 30 seconds and nobody did a
fucking thing.
Did you see that fucking nasty ass hit?
The fucking one Rangers dude fucking landed on the dude.
I think two games ago.
Kyle, Kyle, you know what, uh, were you watching that?
Uh, the two games ago when fucking, uh, what's his name hit the fucking dude and like the
dude did a flip.
Oh, oh, who was it?
Yeah.
Dude, that was a fucking brutal.
It wasn't Braden Schneider, but it was a defenseman.
I can't remember.
But yeah, he put like a hip check on the dude.
Was it Miller?
Was it Keandre?
It might have been Keandre Miller, it might have been Keandre Miller.
Dude, he fucking crushed him.
He threw like a half assed hip check, but he missed the hip check, but then like blew
right through him and threw him over the top.
He fucking killed the dude.
And then immediately the gloves dropped.
I'm like, Oh, uh oh.
As soon as you see a hit like that, you're like, yup, there it goes.
Where's the gloves?
There they are.
Dude, the worst part about that.
That's how life should be.
That's how life should be, right?
Oh yeah.
Your boy gets hit, you fucking drop your gloves.
Your boy got fucked up, you know, now you dropped the gloves.
But I mean, listen, at the end of the day, we played my speech at the beginning of this
podcast.
But I'll tell you right now, to the corporations and the billionaires, I think they can get
rich off the back of the working class and lower class men in this country.
To the people who think they can evade the taxes and evade the law because they're politicians
and they can make their career grow off the backs of the middle class and the working
class America, I'll tell you what, I have empty prison cells.
They have your names on them.
Amen.
Hallelujah.
It made this great country rise again from the ashes that have been left by the Republicans
and Democrats.
And if I ever find any politician colluding together with another politician or starting
a political party, I will put you in prison.
And at the end of the day, love your neighbor, love your wife, love your family, hug them,
kiss them, buy them a beer, buy them something to eat, get them a blanket and fucking love,
empathy, passion, compassion.
That's what this nation's about.
May we rise from the ashes again and become a great nation forever for once.
And we steamroll every fucking enemy we have America.
Hell yeah.
Franklin 2034.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Share share can still get it.
Share.
Dude, fucking that, that fucking wonderful six pack that she had back in the fucking
like seventies.
Ooh, Jesus Christ.
He's talking about washboard apps.
All right, fellas.
Have a good fucking night.
All right.
See you later.
No, I'd still fuck share still to this day, Tyler, to this day.
You can't take my take to this day.
I'd fuck share.
That's what I'm supposed to be the guy that likes old ladies.
Share is a diff, share is in a different league.
You fucking corrupted Tyler Dan.
Share's in a different league.
Yeah, but dude, 78 year olds, like, come on.
That is typically your territory.
Yeah.
But I'm talking like up to 62, like maybe like you might find, you know, a unicorn 65
year old.
That's still attractive.
Share though.
But 78 Tyler.
Share it's fucking share, dude.
All right, let me see what she looks like in 2025.
Probably not too great if I do imagine.
I mean, I actually haven't seen a picture of her in 2025.
Let's see.
Well, why are you taking the stance of you definitely fuck her?
I'm just thinking of the 70s.
You don't even know what she looks like.
Yeah, you're thinking about the her from 50 years ago.
You know what?
The face is kind of fucked up, but I'd still do it, you know.
No, dude, it's all what's going to happen is you're going to start unbuttoning clothes
and you're going to find that it's all smoke and mirrors, bro.
That is not good.
I can see like in this one picture, her face looks OK.
Like it's fucking being held together with like some next level plastic surgery.
But her hand is like wrinkly, like a fucking ball sack.
Dude, she looks like the nun from that fucking horror movie.
She looks creepy.
She looks like a fucking goblin.
Still do it.
Right.
Worth it.
Right.
This is Christ.
They probably have to conduct a fucking seance before she takes the stage.
Not Madonna, though.
Madonna.
Absolutely not.
Dan kind of sounds like Don Juan right now because he's like, I think you got some like
nasal congestion.
Yeah, I'm like, damn, dude.
Fuck her, bro.
Look at this shit in the 70s.
Oh, look at that.
Dude, she looks older in that.
She does now, which is not good.
She made a deal with the fucking devil.
Dude, her fucking abs.
I would fucking lick shit off them.
Damn.
Actual shit.
No, not actual shit.
Got you.
Bro, back in the day.
Okay, so what decade?
What decade, Cher?
1900s would you go back to?
If I could go back to the 1900s?
Yeah.
And I had to live my life through that.
I don't get to come back, right?
After the profound question about fucking Cher right now.
Yeah, you don't get to come back.
You don't get to come back.
So this is not about fucking share, this is just living in that decade, or do I get to
fuck share in that decade?
Actually from 1900 to now.
If you play your cards right.
You could go back to the 2010s, dude.
Any decade from 1900 to now, what would you?
How old would I be at the start of the decade?
My age now?
Right now, same age.
1990.
You go back to 1990?
1990.
No.
1990, invest in Apple.
No, you go back to 1960.
That's actually a great idea.
That's a great idea.
Back to the fucking 60s.
Nah, dude.
Back to 1990, then you invest in Apple.
And guess what?
When you're in your 40s, I'd be like 47, but you'd be back in the 2020s and you'd have
fucking disgusting amounts of money.
I think 1990 is the way to go.
Or you could just do fucking Bitcoin if you're willing to wait a little bit longer.
Or you just want to exponentially grow your shit even more after Apple hits.
Or would it be, what could you do like, all right, I'm in the...
What are you going to fucking put your money on once you get back to modern day?
Is it all Dogecoin?
Dogecoin, Tesla, hope it takes off.
Nah, dude, because I'd be like, all right, I'm going to go back to the 90s.
The 90s was a decent decade.
We had decent everything back then.
And then I would put money in Apple.
After I put money in Apple, I'd let that sit.
I'd wait a good decade.
And then the 2000s hit, 9-11 happens.
Would you go to New York City during 9-11 just to see it happen in person?
You know?
No.
I would try and stop it.
What the fuck?
You want to just witness the terrorism?
You can prevent it.
Where would you pick to have a...
You're just going to try to find Gerard Way and watch the towers go down.
Just to really put yourself in his shoes.
I would stand next to him.
He was there the day the towers fell.
I'll find exactly where Gerard Way was and just be like, yo, I'm on the street with Tim
now.
But then when he talks about it in the song, I'll be like, well, brother, dude, I was right
there.
And then I hear you guys are forming a band.
Do you guys want a sixth rhythm guitar?
Because I'm your fucking guy now.
You need another bassist, dude?
I know your brother sucks, so you know.
Dude, okay, so you can only stop one thing.
Just see if 9-11 is your fucking highway into the fucking band.
You can only stop one thing.
You can stop Dale Earnhardt from dying or you can stop 9-11.
Well, if you stop Dale Earnhardt from dying, 9-11 doesn't happen.
I agree.
Actually, I agree.
Wait, can I hear the...
Is there actual logic behind that?
Why is that?
Because people wouldn't have been as sad and depressed.
They would have to want it.
I don't think Dale...
Okay, don't get me wrong.
Dale Earnhardt Sr., he's the fucking man.
There would be no terrorism if Dale Earnhardt hadn't died.
Dare I say, I think there might be more because Americans would have been more proud.
No, that's the only thing the fucking Arabs were holding on for.
It was Dale Earnhardt.
Okay.
We can't attack America.
They got Dale, guys.
They got Dale, all right?
They're untouchable right now.
Oh, he's dead?
All right, all right, let's get some people.
All right, let's talk to the US government.
Let's see if they want to collab on a terrorist attack.
And that's how it fucking happened.
So I was born the same day that Dale Earnhardt was.
I'll pay you.
60 years later.
One of those.
60 years later?
Yep.
Dale Earnhardt was born 60 years before me on the same day.
April 29th, Dale Earnhardt was born and so was I.
So...
That's how it's Hitler.
So, I was born on the same day.
So I think that I am the reincarnation of Dale.
Just get me a NASCAR.
Well, you were alive at the same time as Dale, though.
No, Dale died in, I think, 97.
He died in 2001.
Did he?
He died in 2011.
Oh, he did.
Oh, well, I guess his soul transferred to me during that time period.
That's about when I gained sentience.
So when Dale died, I gained sentience.
I think that's what happened.
I remember the exact moment I gained consciousness.
Really?
Yeah.
So, does anybody remember?
Did anyone have direct TV as a kid?
I had a Time Warner cable.
Okay, yes.
Cable, yeah.
But the military and NASA actually used to have their own TV channels.
They both since have, I'm assuming the funding got pulled on that one.
But I was watching some World War II thing, playing with my World War II action figure.
And then I was just like, all of a sudden, the concept of forever just dawned on me.
And I had an existential crisis at six years old.
And I was like, holy fuck.
I was just tripping for the rest of the day.
It was an out of fucking body experience.
And I was like, oh, do I even want to go to heaven?
And I was like, I don't know if I want to be around forever.
That sounds like hell.
What if heaven is hell?
Oh my God.
And then I flipped over to the NASA channel and they talk about how big space is.
And I'm like, fuck.
Holy shit.
This is so much bigger than I thought it was.
We're so small.
So I remember through my fucking World War II action figure down, I was like, I got
to fucking, I don't know what I got.
I got to grow up.
I can't keep doing.
I got to get a job.
I got to invest.
What am I doing?
So I remember.
And then I didn't.
I remember my first consciousness.
I was in preschool and I made a fake stage for myself with the wooden plank things that
they had in old classrooms.
They were like the semi-wooden boxes things that were about that big, that wide.
Yeah, you could build a little.
So I built a stage with that and they had a fake two by, they had a two by four, but
it was a smaller one.
It was probably a one by four or whatever.
And I was like holding onto it, pretending to play guitar.
And then I fucking came into existence, you know, consciously.
And I go, this is fucking stupid.
And I just dropped it.
I'm like, fuck it.
That's when Dale Earnhardt took your soul.
That's what Dale Earnhardt just overlapped my soul.
It was at that exact moment.
Dale just emerges from the fucking classroom.
Doran says, Hey kid, you got to grow up.
We can't be playing imaginary guitars forever.
All right.
You're going to buy a bass and you're going to learn how to play it.
Okay.
I'm Dale Earnhardt.
Bye.
I'm Dale Earnhardt.
I'm dead.
Goodbye.
It just fucking disappears.
I'm like, what the fuck just happened?
I'll see you on the other side.
Walks out.
You just hear his fucking car screech out of the parking lot.
Did anybody see that number three car go?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Like Dale Earnhardt's dead now.
Like before anybody knows that I'm in, I'm just sitting in a fucking preschool.
Let's go Dale Earnhardt just died.
Did an airplane just take off in the parking lot?
I saw something that said good wrench on it.
What the fuck was that?
The ghost of Dale Earnhardt.
The fucking Dale Earnhardt pass.
I think my, my, uh, rise to consciousness was actually watching nine 11 happen on TV
at my grandma's house.
And then my grandma just comes out and looks up TV and she's like, Oh, that sucks.
I'm going back to making lunch.
All right.
So I can see she has the same demeanor as you.
Okay.
Oh, well shit.
All right.
I'm just like watching people jump off the fucking story.
They got parachutes, right?
No sweetie.
They don't.
All right, Dan, Dan, how old were you when nine 11 happened?
I was 12.
So what do you remember of nine 11?
Cause I feel like you remember it better than anybody at this table.
He's told it before.
Yeah.
I, uh, I was in sixth grade and, uh, an announcement came on over the intercom of the school and
they told us to turn our TVs on.
I don't know why they made that announcement, right?
Like why you would want children to see those, right?
What's history?
They told us to turn our TVs on and that a plane just hit the world trade center.
Oh yeah.
They're like, you have to watch this.
Watch the horror unfold in real time.
So that was when the first one hit and then I saw the second one hit live.
Jesus Christ.
Well, while they were burning the towers, um, the bell rang.
So class let out.
And so I was sitting there alone with my teacher just like glued to the TV, right?
Because I was like, I knew this was something big.
I didn't understand what it was though.
And you know, I was like all in a flight simulator and stuff, right?
So to me, this is like fascinating, right?
Because I had like done that, you know, I had hit the world trade center with planes.
You were playing it back then, damn.
Oh yeah.
Flight simulator 2000.
Yeah.
Damn.
So like, I knew like a little bit about aviation just from that.
So this was like fascinating to me.
But um, yeah.
Uh, what was I going to say?
Oh, my one teacher, uh, who, who, uh, he's dead now.
But uh, he used to be like, um, a news cameraman.
Uh, he was, he just started screaming as soon as the tower started to fall.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
I was, so I was alone in the room with him and he's like, he's like not screaming, but
he's like, Oh my God.
Oh my God.
And I'm like, what is happening?
Like I couldn't, I didn't understand the gravity of it.
I'm like, okay, so the buildings are falling, but he was a newscaster and not a newscaster
and news cameraman.
So he like really like got around and like he was cultured and he like understood like
what the twin towers were.
You know what I mean?
So he, this to him, he knew the gravity of the situation.
Um, but uh, he actually went on to be like a local politician.
Yeah.
But um, yeah, but uh, yeah, I just have that burned into my brain, dude.
Just him saying, Oh my God.
Oh my God.
That's crazy.
The only thing I can compare that to is, you know, so I, so McGeary's there's a bar in
Albany.
It's a big Bill's backer bar.
Yeah.
So it was a, like a crucial matchup against the, um, the chiefs, no, the Cincinnati bangles.
And um, that was the game where, uh, Demar Hamlin got commotion, cordis and fucking die.
And every, the whole place went dead silent because everybody's like this place, like
when this, when the fucking bill score touchdown, they play the touchdown song over the loud
speakers.
Everybody's drunk.
Everybody screams every fucking word of it.
So like that happened in like the first quarter and the whole place was just crickets and
like I hated to be that guy, but it was just a weird scenario because like I'm watching
it with my girlfriend.
I see like the ambulance come out on field and I was like, that doesn't happen like that.
It's like, this guy's dead.
He's, he's fucking dead.
They don't bring an ambulance out.
Like they are going to, they'd stretch it.
Like even if he had a spinal injury or he was unconscious after like a fucking, yeah,
they would cart them.
So the fact that there's an ambulance on the field, I was like, honey, I don't want to
fucking like be the bearer of bad news, but he is absolutely like they're working him
right now.
And then like, sure enough, like some people at the table over next to me overheard me and
they're like, what, what, what, why do you think that?
And then like my girlfriends, of course, like, oh, he's an EMT.
And then it turns into like a bunch of more people hear that.
And then like fucking what's his face, not Chris Collins, where Joe bucks, like we have
word that they are performing CPR on Damar Hamlin.
This is a very sad site to see.
We're going to cut to commercial break here.
Wopper, Wopper, Wopper, Wopper.
Fucking Christ.
I was watching that.
I like turned it down.
It was so fucking bad.
Dude, I was watching that game at work because I was, I was, I wasn't on call and like we
all did like the same thing.
We're like, oh fuck, he's dead.
And then I, I do remember the whoppers thing just came up immediately after it.
It was every commercial break because they didn't budget for, for like that many commercial
breaks to happen.
They weren't expecting the game to stop like that.
So at a certain point they had to rerun their set list of ads and the fucking Burger King
BK have it your way.
That was the fucking go to ad.
So like they kept going through and every time it cut to commercials, everybody, because
at this point now like the tables next to us fucking all heard, oh, this guy's EMS.
And it turns into like everybody's looking at me like I'm fucking Rain Man.
Like what are they going to do, bro?
I'm like, he's in cardiac arrest.
Like fucking dead.
I'm like, they're probably like, hopefully they're going to get it back.
Like it's, it's fairly reversible.
They got to him quickly.
Like I don't know, like he could fucking die.
That was a thing though, back like when, like when it happened, like because they got to
him so fucking fast is the only reason he's alive.
Like if, like if it was like he did that, like in like a car accident, it took like
the EMS to get like five minutes there, he would have been dead.
Yeah.
The only people that die from commotio cordis.
Oh, thank you, Casey.
You know, the only people that die from that in like sports are like, unfortunately, like
little kids playing fucking baseball because whenever a little kid gets hit by a baseball
and goes down, it's always like, Oh, come on, shake it off, buddy.
Yeah.
You got a base way to, way to take the hit, way to take it.
Take your base.
Good eye, good eye.
And then it's like, no, he's literally fucking dead.
And that's why I like, can I just say Alex, you seeing a cardiac arrest during a football
game is no way comparable to the left.
I know.
No, no, I, I know.
I think if you get a kick out of that too, that's half the reason I said.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then think about how much it must suck to be a fucking parent.
Like imagine if you were a parent, Alex McDonald, and your kid got hit in the chest with a baseball
and nobody around knew what to do.
Yeah.
And your kid died.
And it's like, you knew that it's devastating.
At least you could have like ran up and done like a precordial thump or gotten an AED there
quick and done something.
Yeah.
You know, anything like, but there's nobody around that knows how to do anything and your
kid dies.
That fucking sucks, dude.
Yeah.
And it's, unfortunately that's happened.
It's, oh God, I don't know what he wants to see.
But unfortunately what, what happened there is now like, thankfully like most minor league,
not minor league fucking most like, but what's the name of it?
Like Babe Ruth, little league, little league, most little league.
It's a, it's mandatory once you reach a certain point where players can like throw around
like 70 or so.
Like I think that's probably like, it's probably Babe Ruth or maybe little league majors kind
of that, that level.
It's mandated that you have AEDs inside of both of the dugouts and every player has to
wear chest protectors.
Yeah.
That started when I was playing baseball.
Really?
Because there was a kid not too far from, it was upstate New York for sure, but somebody
did die.
And unfortunately it was Rochester.
Yeah.
It's, it's, it's like a state by state basis.
Everybody was super fucking reactive to it.
Nobody was proactive.
Nobody was doing this shit before it happened because it's like nobody wanted to spend money
to get a fucking AED in every dugout.
And it was like such a fluke of it happening.
Like it is like, the chances of it are like one in 700,000.
Like it's, it's just so, it's so rare, but like you need to prepare for that.
Like that is a possibility that can happen.
And it's, it's crazy.
It blows my mind that it happens so much on like a little league level and it hasn't happened
in the major leagues to this day.
Nobody has died on the field in the MLB, which blows my fucking mind because some people
have taken like 107 mile per hour fastballs to the fucking nose and they're completely
fine.
I think actually Babe Ruth fucking got fucking knocked the fuck out by a fastball and then
returned to his at bat because it was a foul technically.
And then he hit a home run later that at bat or maybe he was Mickey Mantle.
I can't remember.
It was one of the all time greats, Lou Gehrig.
I don't fucking know one of them, one of the Yankee greats, but it's like, it blows my
mind that it happens at a little league level, like on a fairly regular basis.
And it just doesn't happen in the majors because you'd think it would be so much more prevalent
there.
And the crazy thing about the whole Damar Hamlin thing is, is like, they showed the
replay like a hundred times before they knew he fucking got whacked.
He just fucking died.
Yeah.
Because like they were just like, Oh man, brutal injury.
But like nobody thought he was actually getting like worked.
Like that word took a while to make it to the fucking press box.
So they kept showing it over and over.
And then like, I will say though, I'm not the only comparison I was making to 9 11.
Obviously it's different.
There's 3,400 something people that lost their lives that day.
You're comparing that to 9 11.
Just know the ambiance in the room because it's like everybody shows up to see like this
crazy fucking matchup and everybody's all hyped up over it.
And then it was just this somber mood.
Like they, they canceled like the giveaways they had going on.
They, I don't know.
It was just, it was a weird vibe.
It was just, everybody was so hyped.
And then like people were crying because like there was people, like it was traumatic.
There's like a little, not like little kids there, but there was some little kids that
like went with their parents and stuff.
Cause it's like the place in Albany to watch a football game if you're a Bills fan.
So it was like when that happened, it was just an eerie eerie fucking vibe.
It was just weird.
It was really weird.
And like if you leave there and you just like, I don't know, like obviously I can't compare
it to 9 11, but it was kind of like, it was a pretty silent ride on the way home.
And it was just like everybody there.
Like I don't know.
It's just like, it killed the vibes immediately.
But goddamn what fucking like, what a, what a, what a fucking quote that you can have
that you actually killed somebody on a football field because you hit him.
Yeah.
Cause he, I can't remember what the player's name was, but he was devastated.
He struggled with that for a while and he still does.
He hasn't been the same player since I wouldn't care.
I'd be like, that's fucking awesome.
And unfortunately I hate to say this as a Bills fan, but like Damar Hamlin is not that
good of a player, but it's like, you can't caught the guy.
Yeah.
He fucking died on the field for you.
Like you gotta leave him in there.
But now it's at the point, like I hate to say it, but like this last game when they
got fucking bumped out of the playoffs by the chiefs, they were attacking his zone.
Cause it was just like, he's so plays.
Yeah.
He fucking came back a year after.
Cause that's what I was saying.
Like everybody's like, Oh, like the AFC done forever.
Wasn't it the AFC championship that he came back with like his jacket on that like had
like all like his patches and shit from his Jersey.
No, that was the first game back the next season.
He was, he was starting as a safety, the beginning, the next season.
Jesus Christ.
He was, he was like a third stringer and him dying on the field.
Made him a legend.
Got him promoted to a starter.
And the sad thing is, is that the year after that happened, the bills used him as a, so
they did a fake punt at a crucial spot.
And it was like the play where if they got a first down, the bills were probably going
to beat the chiefs and they were going to go to the super bowl and the chiefs are like
the fucking impenetrable wall for the fucking bills.
Three, three, four years going now.
Well that fucking, that missed kick was the, was the real kicker.
Yeah.
I mean, but that's forever ago.
That kind of sounds like affirmative action.
Sounds like a D I hire a D I E hire.
You fucking die.
So he gets promoted.
It's a die hire.
I was sitting, so I had my girlfriend and my family went to this game.
I went to the game the week beforehand, so I didn't want to go.
I had a feeling that they were going to lose and that's a long drive to make two weeks
back to backs.
I don't know if that drive to Buffalo is miserable that time of year, but it was like, it sucked
because it was just like, it would have been so poetic if it happened.
But like I was watching the game with Brian at my dad's house.
We were dog sitting cause my dad's at the game and I saw Damar Hamlin on the field and
I saw him lined up in the spot where they could direct snap it to him for a fake punt.
And I was like, he's never there.
It's like he's, he's never on the field.
Like the chiefs, like they're going to fake it.
They're going to fucking fake it and they're going to give him the ball and they're going
to try to make this like a fucking Cinderella story of like, Oh, he died last year and he
got the first down that won us and sent us to the super bowl.
And it would have been like a beautiful, like miracle on ice level story if it happened,
but it fucking didn't.
He got the ball, snapped to him and got fucking clobbered immediately and it lost them the
game.
It was devastating.
But like in the moment I was yelling before the play even started, I was like, don't fake
it.
Don't fake it.
Like, please God get tomorrow off the field.
And then it happened and it was just like, I was speechless for like 20 minutes.
Ryan was like consoling me practically cause I was just like, I saw it happen before it
did.
But yeah, I, I, you know, in retrospect, I kind of feel do shitty to comparing that to
nine 11 actually.
Yeah, that's a little extreme.
That was, that was very extreme.
I don't know why that popped in my fucking head.
It's like a good thing to say there.
I'd like to redact that.
It's a cool story.
Not comparable to nine 11 at all.
I retract.
Thank you.
We're talking about people fucking jumping off towers.
Alex talking about being at a bar, watching the bills.
He's like, I don't know what this is going to mean for the rest of the year.
It was comparable in some ways, but not nearly to the extent of the gravity of the situation.
There was very, two thousand people die.
One guy dies on the field.
It was 3000 something, but yeah, it was a, yeah, those are not, those are not comparable.
There was not as many similarities in that story as I was telling it.
It was going to the back of my head like Dan's going to read the shreds.
But it felt like you, so no, that felt like what you think nine 11.
No, no.
Like I imagine nine 11 was like at least 10 to 20 times the size of that.
I'm just saying it was like that eerie moment of like the, the complete unexpected happening
and just like everybody's eyes glued to the TV.
Like what the fuck is happening?
You guys probably don't remember.
That's the only comparison I was really drawing.
I did not like the fucking weight and the impact it had on the world.
You guys, do you guys not remember nine 11?
Cause you're too young.
I vaguely remember it.
I think I do, but it very well could just be me thinking I remember it.
I know it was, we had just moved from Vermont.
My birth state, Bernie Sanders, rep and VT, my name Bernie Sanders.
But anyways, no, we, we were staying at my grandparents house while my dad and my mom
were like house shopping and they were, they were both at work, but I was at home with
my grandma.
I think I was, I would have been, oh, it was right before I got hospitalized with meningitis.
I was not deaf in my left ear at that point.
But I think, I think like I vaguely, vaguely remember like watching it on like their fucking
little small CRT TV in their living room there.
And my grandpa wasn't, he was either asleep or he wasn't home.
I was just there with my, with my grandma.
And that's the reason why I think I do remember it is because my mom and my dad validated
the fact that my grandpa wasn't there because they thought I was blowing smoke out of my
ass when I told that.
But I was like, I don't remember grandpa being there, but I think grandma was in the room
with me.
And they're like, oh, well, that would have been what happened.
So I don't know.
Maybe they told me that a couple of years prior and I just manufactured this memory.
I think that's the most probable scenario.
I doubt I was at like an age where I could remember anything to be honest, because that
would have been my first memory.
I do remember being in the hospital as a kid with meningitis, but that's, that's the first
thing.
I know.
I'm probably like the last generation that will remember 9-11.
Yeah.
How old were you?
I was six.
Six, I think.
The closest thing that you guys probably have is COVID, honestly.
Not really.
COVID's not really, I think COVID was fake anyways.
I'd have to agree with Dan.
I'd have to agree with Dan because it was just a time of uncertainty.
It was just, nobody knew what was going on.
I thought it was stupid from the start.
I was telling you guys that it's fucking gay from the start.
Oh, shut the fuck up, dude.
We all thought we were fucking heroes during that.
No, I didn't.
Go back and listen to the fucking podcast during COVID and you can hear me saying it
was fake the whole time.
We weren't recording it.
Yes, we were.
We absolutely were.
Yes, we were.
In 2020?
Yes, we were.
We fucking were.
We started it in 2022.
No, you can go back and listen to it.
Manufactured memories.
Jesus Christ.
Nah, dude, you can listen.
Go back.
No, dude.
Maybe the first podcast.
Like COVID, you knew that things weren't going to be the same after.
COVID fucking was stupid.
That was the overall feeling.
It's not even that.
COVID is the only reason why Joe Biden won and we're in our position now.
Let Dan say his piece.
He's not talking about politics.
COVID was caused by fucking Trump.
No, it wasn't.
It was caused by fucking Joe Biden.
I want to hear what Dan has to say here.
I'm going to say something really out in left field here.
I've heard from somebody who was at 9-11 or secondhand from somebody that heard it from
somebody that was there that it wasn't that bad.
That 9-11 wasn't that bad?
Maybe not bad for them because they didn't fucking die.
No, no, no.
So I'm going to let me finish.
It wasn't that bad because it just... I don't know how to say this.
There wasn't a lot left.
After the towers fell, it really was just a cleanup.
It wasn't like there was anybody to save.
Yeah, I feel like that's just a normal thing for something like that.
There's nothing left.
Yeah, it wasn't an ongoing event.
It was just one day of just disaster and heart wrenching heartache, which definitely made
waves.
I can see how if you didn't know anyone personally that died in it, I can see how it wouldn't
have that profound of an effect on you.
It would be a crazy day and just super uncertain because you're probably thinking in the back
of your head, we're going to go to war.
But again, how much does a war affect somebody who doesn't go?
It's not really that much, unfortunately.
I'm genuinely surprised that there people weren't taking the dust from 9-11 and selling
it.
Dude, there's people that you and I, that we all know that were taking body bags from
9-11.
Jesus Christ.
You've talked about that on the pod too.
I remember that.
Yeah, somebody that we know that used to work in our training center.
You can guess.
Yeah, I guess.
My psych teacher in college only told the story about how her friend was a smoker and
he was working in the Twin Towers on 9-11.
So he went downstairs outside to have a cigarette.
That's when the fucking plane crashed into the tower.
Well, I'm not going back to work.
Cigarettes saved my life.
Holy shit.
Vaping saved my life.
Five one vape.
Smoking kills cancer.
Smoking cures cancer.
Damn.
Oh man.
Oh, man.
God, I was like...
Yeah, sorry about that.
Oh, fuck.
No, I can't even remember.
But I was going to say, I think the comparison to COVID is fair because especially with us
working in EMS at that time, it was to a certain extent scary because there weren't numbers
to back it up.
It was just all you knew at that point was that it was spreading like a fucking wildfire
in China.
Fake.
Well, I mean, this is going to be worse with fucking what Trump's going to do.
But I was just going to say working in EMS though, Tyler, and for the love of God, I'm
not making this political.
I'm not saying any of that shit.
But what we had going on at that point, it was just like in EMS, it was like now all
of a sudden it's like, oh my God, it's killing people left and right.
And we don't have the N95s to give out.
And we don't have the gowns to give out.
There's a PPE crisis.
Everybody fucking has it.
Like the transports are off the fucking wall.
Everybody's going to the hospital.
Before there was that period where transports didn't happen as much and nobody was going
to the hospital, which was honestly kind of refreshing.
But like it was definitely scary for a while because it was just like you had no idea.
It was just like there was this ominous like final boss just like lurking around the corner
and you never knew what like any time you got toned out for like a difficulty breathing,
it was like, oh my God, I hope I don't bring COVID home to my family.
And like you're fucking throwing your clothes and garbage bags when you get home and throwing
it right into the washer and stuff like it was scary before we realized it wasn't really
that big of a deal for us.
Fake.
Okay, well, okay.
So this is what I was getting at was saying that I heard somebody say that 9-11 wasn't
that bad.
It's not that the actual situation was that bad.
It's not that COVID was that bad.
It's that it changed everything.
It did.
Everything fucking changed.
And that's the problem.
It's like it's not the actual situation that was that bad.
And then I've had COVID fucking six times.
The only thing I will say is that I mean, I was one of those people that completely disregarded
COVID.
And I remember like there were people at work that like actually judged me because I mean,
I was in a really weird point.
I had just turned 21.
I had just moved out of my parents' house for the first time.
And I was like throwing ragers at my house every week and the bars were closed.
So the only place to really hang out was other people's houses if you didn't give a fuck
about COVID.
We didn't give a shit about masks.
We didn't give a fuck about any of that stuff.
So it was just like by like twice a week, ragers at my house.
It was weird because it was like we were unaffected, but we also felt like we were doing this weird
thing that was taboo because everybody's like super isolationist.
But like within the EMS community, we didn't feel that way because while work changed for
us, like wearing respirators and all this stuff and the call volume and the call type
and all that shit changed, like our day to day didn't change.
Like my schedule didn't change.
Like I went into work, I worked my fucking shift and I went home.
And like I remember like I had family members that were like in a weird way, jealous of
me because they were like, I'm going fucking stir crazy in my house and this sucks balls.
Like I wish I could just be like working my regular job right now.
I would give anything to have a job where I was like essential.
And it was just like, I don't know.
It's really weird to have worked through COVID and EMS.
Like it's just, I don't know.
I think that we didn't, in some ways we got affected way more than anybody else, but in
others we got affected the absolute least by COVID.
Right.
Dude, like I, I, I don't know what people are talking about.
Like with like lockdowns and stuff.
Yeah.
I didn't give a shit.
Well, I don't, that didn't affect me at all.
I don't think it affected any of us.
It affected me in a way that I like prior to, prior to COVID, like one of the ways that
I will say that like COVID changed fucking everything was that like, I used to like enjoy
going out to a restaurant on my own and like sitting down and eating a meal.
Like if I wanted to get like Wendy's or McDonald's, I never hit the fucking drive through unless
I had somewhere to be.
I would fucking go inside.
I'd place my order and I'd sit down and eat.
And there was a full fucking dining room full of people that were doing the same fucking
thing.
Now you walk into a McDonald's or a Sonic or a Wendy's or someplace that fucking dining
room is barren.
Nobody eats inside of restaurants anymore.
Restaurants are really the only exception to that because people like like the weird,
I don't know, degeneracy of being in a bar around a bunch of other people that are just
drinking their day away.
Like so like that is kind of unaffected, but restaurants is the one thing I've noticed
that just still has not rebounded at all.
Are you playing guitar, Dan?
Looks like it.
Yes, I am.
Damn.
Dave, is that John Denver?
Take me home.
Country roads to the place.
All right.
We should take a break on the podcast and we'll be back.
You see the way that COVID really changed us is Dan doesn't show up to the podcast anymore.
He calls.
He's worried and he's going to contract it.
And that's not true.
You know who you sound like kind of on this time on this podcast, just because you're
sick is Mike Tyson.
Do I?
A little bit.
You got that.
You got that nasally thing going.
What's something that Mike Tyson said?
I'm going to eat your children.
Yeah, you don't know how to pronounce.
You're not in a scary place and you're all alone.
All right.
Let's take that break guys.
We'll be back in a little bit.
We'll be back on the podcast.
Dan's way.
Oh, that's a winner of an intro right there.
Oh yeah.
Good fucking song.
Dan was playing us on guitar.
Welcome back to our podcast.
It's episode 96.
Don't forget to come.
Come see us live in Montreal for a hundred episodes.
I ain't going to be there.
Why not, Tyler?
I ain't going to be there.
I'm not going to be there.
No, no, no.
Come on.
Carpool with me, we can go up in the hole.
Do you really hate fucking Canada that much that you can't go to Montreal?
I'm done.
I do it.
Yeah, we're going.
The drive sucks, but it's worth it.
It's not the same drive.
I know, but I've done that drive too.
I did the fucking transport out there.
It's through the Adirondacks.
The Adirondacks are beautiful.
They are beautiful.
I ain't fucking going to Canada.
Fuck that.
Fuck that Casey. How would you feel if why are you so opposed to going to Canada?
All right, I got a topic I want to talk about Casey
How would you feel right now if somebody gouged both your eyes out with forks and you were blind for the rest of your life?
I'd feel pretty bad about that actually
What do you think the psychological effects of that would be that you had sight for your whole life?
And you know that you're never getting it back. You're like I can't see so like I can't fucking you know
I'd feel like I was can't work. I feel like the one they wrote one about for Metallica. Yeah
Like I have no that's a that's a creepy story. I feel like starting IVs with no sight so the
Yeah, one is about with Metallica. It's about it. Yeah, it's about a war vet
Well, they don't specify the war but it's assumed it's Vietnam, but you you come back from the war you have no limbs
You you don't have hearing you have no eyesight and you're just existing hoping that you're dying
You don't even know if you're alive like it's such a deep
Psychological dive into where you would have to be yeah
That's one of the first movies or music videos I had on my iPod touch. I didn't even know when I
Yeah, I know the music was fucked up, and I had it like that's one of the first songs
I had on my iPod touch, and I kept watching that music video and it like fucked me up as a kid
Yeah
Remember when you watch saw as a kid it was like scary
Yeah, I didn't see sawed till like later on so I was just weird because I don't know I I didn't have us
I wasn't scared of that shit when I was a kid
But like I don't know body horror just fucks with my head now like the one movie
I am so like I could never watch now is like like human centipede would get to me
I think I've seen that before but like I think if I watch that now would get to me, but have you ever into that movie?
Tusk yeah, where the guy just like it's turned into fucking walrus or whatever it is. I saw that
That would fuck my head off fucking weird, bro
It would be weird, but that's the type of shit that would actually scare me like I feel like most horror movies
Don't but like no
one thing that like I
Mean it yeah
It did its job effectively cuz I like I saw it and I was like I never want to watch anything like this again
Yeah
Yeah, good horror you want to come back to you want to go back to it because it scared you but like you liked it
I
Don't know there's like I feel like it's cheap. There's it. Yeah, there's like I feel like
Yes, I think it's I think it's cheap too because like especially human centipede like that's meant to be like a borderline comedy
But like to me it still gets in my head a little bit. It didn't when I watched it
I was like ah this movie sucks. I wasn't even like oh it scares me. I was like this movie's just poorly filmed
I think the characters suck. It's completely unbelievable, and I just like wrote it off
But it was like if I went back and watched it now. I'm like
Oh, my god. They took the tendons out of their knees, so they can't stand up. Oh, they're just eating shit. Oh my god
fucking oh
my boot
Tyler yo, let's find out why Tyler hates Canada so much can is a bunch of pussies, dude
Why would I want to go they gave us hockey dude put some respect on their name?
What the fuck would I go to a worse fucking America?
So this is what happened this week the US are pretentious that sounds they're fucking good people Tyler. It's just the worst America
I don't think that they would disagree that America is better
But like that will better in most senses cuz like their politics fucking even beat them in fucking hockey, dude
We they don't they can't do anything to us now
Regularly beat us in hockey that's not true. Yeah, we're nice and face off, baby. We won
Yeah, every once in a while we do
Billy years are dominated. Yeah. Oh wow two years. Everything's fucking turning now
Canada Canada has that game on lock all the best
But let's be fucking real if Russia was able to have a team in that we wouldn't fucking Russia would have fucking annihilated
Everybody now bro miracle on ice we would have done it baby. They would have got fucking pen Aron fucking
What's his name?
There's a shit ton of dudes from Russia that are like fucking top players
I remember when Oh vetchkin was in his prime
That was when like when Sid the kid and fucking Oh vetchkin were both like in their primes was when I was the biggest hockey
fan and it was just like I
Fucking hated their guts watching hockey cuz like you played them and it was every single fucking time
They would bury the dagger you and they would bury the dagger in you. They were both so fucking good
I mean the Rangers best players are all Russian. Yeah, and sweet. I got Fox though. He's American
Yeah, but like Fox almost all the best players on like Paneran's Russian
Fucking sisterkins Russian
Is Mika Russian? No, that's a Swedish
It's a bandage. I was Swedish
Fuckin it's either you're either Russian or Canadian
They the right the Rangers only have like three Americans on their team
I gotta look I can't remember if Dahlene is fucking Russian or if he's a check
So so this week he doesn't I saw it in Canada
But actually I was gonna say you know, this is a news story that happened with hockey this week is that like people in
Canada to separate
Booying the national anthem. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Fuck you. And you know, I get it
I get it too
You know we did in Nashville as we actually booed the national anthem of Canada, which that's fucked up
That is fucked up. That's why we should not be doing because they're a fucking ally like Canada's never done anything
Sure, they can tighten up the border and like they did
Say it but like it were here if in that in that instance did work
Because like we had to hold them accountable
But like but I feel like we didn't have to go that hard with like but here's the thing
Relationship I didn't already Canada was already going to send these number of troops to the border
Because they actually agreed to do it under Biden
So really Trump's terrorists didn't do anything except get fucking Canadians to hate us
Yeah, that's that's the one thing I will say is that like that's what I mean
It's like if we again like Biden I guess did which I didn't know that but like just ask them
Like they're gonna do it like there are ally we work with them
They fucking get it to a certain extent and they depend on us quite a bit
So like like what was the point of that? I guess like it got like it because it's like
I don't know cuz on paper it looks like a massive win for Trump because like I was assuming it was I didn't know that
Biden fucking actually put that in but I don't think Biden did I think somebody fucking told him to but um Biden's a retard
but like regardless, it's like
Yeah, why would we do that like Mexico and China?
I kind of get the tariffs like that makes sense a little bit because we we don't get along great with either of those countries
anyways, so like
Well, he suspended the tariffs in Mexico too because they you know agreed to send troops to the border
Which I don't think it's a bad thing, but I don't think I don't think the method of going about it really is the best
It's kind of like, you know when it raises
Tensions, it's it raises tension and China is like our by far, you know one of our most
Suppliers of trade, you know everything's amazing. Yeah, everything's made in China
That's the crazy thing is even though like we hate China and they hate us like we still do
Kind of rely they don't even really rely. I mean they do rely on us for a lot but not
Not the way we do with them. Yeah, everything's made in China fucking the fuck probably every sign in this room is made by China
That's that's like a no step on snack probably made in China. Let me look. I'm gonna check. I'm gonna take a look
It's got I know that's I've definitely made in China. I
Think we're still in
And we're back and we're back so fucking fly didn't even have it on it
I know a tall are sick of you know, defending mr. Trump
But today, you know, I saw this news story when I woke up that Trump was establishing a committee in the government
to combat anti
Christian discrimination
Yeah
Antichrist and bias
It is a problem because 90 fucking percent of the people are Christian and all they do is discriminate against people for not being Christian
Jesus fucking crazy. I don't think that there is that much Christian discrimination in the world
He's basically adding, you know religion to the government now, which is
That's not the fucking case at all. You're just trying to pick cherry pick things that you're just like
We can't even make fun of the Catholics and Christians anymore
Fucking every other religions a protected class except for Christians every other one. Can you can you go out there and make fun of religion?
There's a perfect every religion is a
Casey can you can you go out there? I love watching this
Casey can you go out there right now? Like it just can you go out?
Hold on. Let me fucking speak. Can you go on the street right now at any point and say I hate Islam and
Not have a problem. Hold on. Hold on. Can you do the same thing?
But say I hate Christianity if you said hey, I hate Christianity and then you went out there
There's a whole bunch of people that yeah, man. I fucking hate Christianity, but you go out there
I don't know if that's true
I think it's still because we have freedom of speech
No, no, no, but like like the reason why I'm saying that all their religions are protected classes. Can you go out there?
Let's say this you go out there on a soapbox and you have a sign that says I hate Jews
Is that are people gonna react to that crazily? Yes people are gonna go out there and try to fight you and try to do all this stuff
But you can wear a shirt that says I hate Jesus and stand in the same spot
You will get barely any fucking reaction. Well Tyler. I think we should be able to hate all religions equally actually
but
I agree with that
I I agree that you should be able to hate all religions equally
but the thing is that you can't hate all religions equally because
Islam is Muslims are a protected class Jews are protected class
The only one that wasn't was Christianity and now they're protected class
You know what's gonna happen soon is it's gonna be a crime to be anything but Christian
And that's what this department of case your fear-mongering is hysterical
But am I gonna get like arrested for wearing like a fucking I don't know like if I wore like yeah
No, you can't say a crazy like art depiction of like like what if I had a tattoo?
Of like I don't know just to be edgy here like Jesus shooting himself in the head
Yeah, like crazy Trump told the Attorney General to prosecute anybody that had anti-christian
So like some people get crazy tattoos like that. I don't think like that should be like. Oh, sorry, buddy
You're going to jail. Well, no, that's freedom of speech
Right, but like I don't know but like because hate speech
Is that what you're saying? Like now like if you were to do something like that, it will be considered hate speech
Now, like if you were to do something like that, it will be considered hate speech now that they're a protected class
Yes, like that's what I'm saying. Like that are you a grandfathered in with stuff like that too?
What hate speech in itself is not illegal you have freedom of speech to say what it's just giving them that like it's
Like it's the whole thing like the whole thing with like I'm just gonna use Jews as the example because they're like a pretty
well known and respected like class of people but like
Specifically like Jews and Muslims you cannot fucking go out there like look at fucking like specifically. Okay, let's talk about the South Park episode
Remember when they were gonna show Mohammed on that one South Park episode
Remember that whole controversy and like they literally had a bomb sent to their fucking office because of it
But they could show Jesus and make fun of Jesus on that no matter what I'm not saying that Jesus shouldn't be able to
Be made fun of but the reason why I'm saying that these other ones are protected classes is because
Comedycentral specifically said if you do that, we're not showing the episode. We can't show that episode
We're not doing anything
But if you make fun of Jesus in an episode you can do you like no problem
You know why that is times because Christians don't fly planes into
Wow
They did used to do some
Some like crazy shit where like they would fucking like make fun of terrorists and stuff
I don't know. There was like a heavy Islamic like implication there
I mean there always is a heavy Islamic implication on terrorism jokes
But like I really think that Islam and you know Christianity should be able to be like made fun of freely
for both equally because they're both equally ridiculous
I remember fucking South Park went hard with those fucking jokes
For like a long time and they probably still do so that's a family guy family guys
what I meant to say with like the
Anti-muslim kind of terrorist bit. They really fucking rang that thing dry. They made a lot of jokes about that shit back in the day
It's like I don't know
I always thought that was kind of weird like you guys remember like I remember there was like a fucking flash game on like
E bombs were older like addicting games calm or it'd be like kill Osama bin Laden
It's like a some weird where there would be like fucking gore porn when you shot him in the fucking head
It's just like weird and it was like by far the most obscene thing on the website and there was no problem to it
It was like, I don't know. It's weird
politically charged fucking flash game for like the mid-2000 9-eleven piss them off
a long fucking time the game interactive buddy
Yeah, but you could make it a face yeah, you could make a George W Bush and just torture
Did you ever guys ever have the fucking like game on your phone called max injury I
Fucking like I wait
Isn't that like where like you flail off of like a fucking building like a staircase or buildings and like measures your injuries
Yeah, and like damages. Yeah, it's like a little test dummy guy that yes flick off, dude. It's not an app store
It's not an app story Mike. I wanted to redownload it cuz I'm like yo
But yeah, you can't even play it anymore remember like my favorite fucking game was on iPod touch
It was some BMX game
It was like one of the only 3d games that there was Blake
you'd like you put your fingers on the screen like this and you controlled the handlebars and like you'd go off a jump you'd
Like flick it and then like bike will like flip around a bunch of time. I don't know I'm describing
But it was a sick fucking game and it's gone. I play a game like that all the time
I think we might be playing the same game actually I felt like max dirt bike
Remember back in the day they had like the the lit version the light version of the games that like they're like well
You can do one level. Yeah, you can do one level now. You're done by the game fucker
Maybe you guys can help me remember the name of this game because I wanted to get it
So there's the reason I wanted to get an iPod touch
Maybe it was the game. I wanted to get an iPod touch for it was the game
We're like you play as an arrow and you have to tilt your phone to like navigate through a bunch of boxes
And there's like this weird trancey music playing
Geometry Dash no not geometry dash. It's 3d. It's 3d and your phone to like not
Man, dude, it's like a popular game in the same era as like jelly car. I cannot remember the name of it though
I'm a pocket. God
Pocket God was fucking wild pocket God is still on the app store, but it hasn't been updated in 15 years
Forgot about fucking that oh my god
We're scribble knots shit, but the thing is it's not in the aspect ratio that you that modern phones are
So you get like the black box around the entirety of it
I read download it the other day just to see like what it was see if they update it no fucking hasn't been updated since
Like 2012 I know I used to play that game all the time. So oh my god. Do you remember fucking Temple Run?
Yeah, oh my god when that game was like a sensation the world was healing that was incredible. Everybody was playing that fucking game
I remember everyone Pokemon go made world peace happen for like two weeks
Fucking Pokemon go to the polls. I don't know about Pokemon go
But how about Pokemon go to the polls?
Fuck does anybody remember the name of this game? I tried track this one down, too
I think it was called like blade or some shit
But it was like a game where like you played as a knight and you had to work your way through these fucking bosses
In Fanny blade infinity blade. Holy shit. I looked that one up. I could three
Oh my god, dude, that game was fucking next level for its time. It was it was pretty good
I remember in Fanny blade but then you got past like a certain point and then you had to be like, alright
I literally can't beat these guys unless I pay for everything
You didn't have to pay for it
You just had to play the game a ton of times and I remember like the first time you go to the final boss
He just kills you. Yeah, he's like, oh, yeah you tried
Maybe you're oh, that was cool. Cuz this story was like your ancestor. Yeah, he was like fucking he was the first guy
Yeah, and then it like it's literally just like a time travel thing where you just keep going and it's like, yeah
Oh, it's like no, it's your son. It's like 15 years 18 years later
I
Know there was a sixth story though, cuz he was immortal and all his fucking guys were like immortal. Oh, man
That game was next level but it was literally just
Quick time event cutscenes. Let's be real. It wasn't quick time event cutscenes though because you had to see where
It was like fucking the game you were describing
It was like you had to see which direction their attack was coming and you had to swipe the opposite direction to but in the end
It was really the same exact thing every time like we didn't recognize that's good
But how is that any different from like Dark Souls or anything?
You learn their attack patterns, but they're still but like the thing is the things like Dark Souls and stuff
They're not gonna make it cuz it's such like a 3d thing. It's not like a
Real like a cutscene type thing they move around in different ways
So yeah, they're gonna use the same attacks, but they can be attacking you from a different area
Yeah, but I mean at the end of the day though, it's still they have the same attack
They stay the same set of attacks they can use in a random order
Which is what infinity blade is like sure but like you can't you're you're using touch controls
The best you're gonna get in that option is like what they did
I mean, I remember I got Grand Theft Auto Vice City for my iPod touch. I did too when the game ran like shit
Yeah, I was unplayable with a touchscreen. I beat it. I beat I beat San Andreas
I never got San Andreas because that one was more expensive that one was $15 instead of being five
I remember the only first-person shooter game I was ever good at on mobile was they made Call of Duty zombies on it. Yes
Remember yes. Oh my god. They had Shionuma and and
the original one
You want me to fucking blow your mind right now because it wasn't nearly as popular as the first and everybody didn't know it came out
Well, they came out with black ops zombies. We had Keno it had ascension
It had all the fucking D add mood on it. What dude?
Yeah, it fucking they made Call of Duty black ops zombies on fucking iPod touch. I swear to God you can't get it anymore
I've thought about fucking jailbreaking my phone
Just to get the old APK and fought and get it on Android you can do that
But like but actually no, you don't even need to jailbreak it
I could just download the APK but like you got to change a bunch of settings in your phone because it doesn't work with the
Modern firmware of anything even if you jailbreak an iPhone and throw it on there. It just doesn't work
So I still have my iPod touch from 2012
Bring it in. I
Don't know if it charges anymore, but if it does it has zombies on it. It has
Max injury it has a fucking
There's another if you if it does charge you could plug it into your computer
You could jailbreak it which there's no fucking risk now and you can have one to like up zombies
I have a touch from like 2010. It's still just chilling out in my fucking my my my old bedroom at my parents house. I
Have a bunch of old phones. I don't have anything. I still have my envy to that. I got a gameboy color
So do I yeah, but I still got my envy to yeah
I have a by the way. I just want you to know everything you're saying is muffled because of your hoodie right now
What?
everything you say was
Fuck I don't know the the most retro thing I have is a ps2 with like every game
I ever played on PS and I'm starting to play new shit on it, too
I'm playing shadow of the Colossus for the first time
I thought I bought Final Fantasy 7, but I was so stupid when I was in the
Store I read the Roman numerals wrong. I thought I was getting seven so I remember I get six or eight
No, I got fucking 11. I got the X and the V mixed up
I saw it and it was like it was the only final fantasy that was on the wall
And I knew that like Final Fantasy 7 was super fucking that was like the one on PS 2 that everybody loved PS 1
Oh, this was a question on jeopardy that you missed Final Fantasy 10 is the one for PS 2
What 10 I?
11 and 12 I at 12 is the one I have because I thought I got 7 because that's VII I got XII
12 is not awful, but I heard it's good. I had 10 better
7 is the best one 8
8 could have been good if they didn't have a weird leveling system because I don't mind 8 story
But like the leveling system it isn't like kill kill an enemy you get XP
It's you have to kill an enemy that take like its soul or something. It's fucking weird
I just like that when I called you you were just like
Like alright, the only thing I'm gonna tell you bro is don't level this one character
I know it's a spoiler, but they get killed off don't level it cuz you're probably gonna want to stop playing
It's gonna set you back so far. Yeah, so don't even don't fucking level heiress ever do not level heiress
That's the name my hamster by the way his heiress. It's named after her
But my first answer was named after Tifa after another character from the same game
Massive tits love that I know that name. What's the fucking last name Lockhart? Yep. Yeah. Yeah, I know that one everybody
If I showed you a picture you'd be like oh, that's her
It's like the white tank top and the oh, yeah fucking little black short skirt chick. Yeah, it's gotta be it
Yeah, I know see I never even played the fucking game Casey Jesus Christ. I am crossfaded. I'll be back
So you miss this question on jeopardy? What year was the first Super Bowl played in I?
Still don't know that you don't know that I cuz I I don't I literally don't pay attention to what Super Bowl run
I think we're on like 50 something maybe
59 yeah, I don't I don't I don't track the numbers
I just like remember like if you ask me what fucking world series that was I have no fucking idea
That's the only sport that like numbers it every other year. It's like oh, it's the Stanley Cup or oh, it's the World Series
Stanley Cup 2025 like type shit the you'll go back and be like the
2025 World Series but like Super Bowl they number it like they don't it's not like oh, it's the
115th World Series it's like no it's the 2025 World Series
Yeah, well the Super Bowl was actually always the same age as my dad was because he was born in
1966 and the first one was
67
Enough for this jeopardy
Casey give me that vape I'm stressing I
Just woke Megan up I apologize
That was way too loud
Welcome back to jeopardy my name's Alex Rebecca. I should just fucking hand the wind to Tyler now
There's no you got believe in you alley back. You can fucking do it dude. I'm usually not this inebriated
I don't know why I guess I was just in a weird mindset
I got the next like four days off so like fuck it when I have a little fun tonight
Here's your 28 time winner Tyler. Let's fucking get it
My time
Alley back all right, I need if you're working rooting for the underdog. I'm your guy. I am your guy tonight listeners
Fuck, please tell me we're good. No, we're good. Okay good
Does the it noise does that come across in the podcast and I don't think I'm just cuts out
I'll be funny
I'll be back. I believe in you even though you're inebriated
That makes one of us
Categories today you got Game of Thrones all right all right. I might be able to get a couple there
I'm still probably not gonna get them all though rhyme time
non English artists
the Mandela effect
eight days a week
All in the family and what continent do I belong on I can already see us getting into a fucking fight on the Mandela effect
Tyler one last time of course he did
I wasn't here for that one was I know you won like the last two or three
I
Should have been here more the categories game Game of Thrones rhyme time
non English artists Mandela effect eight days a week all in the family
Wait let me test it make sure mine works, too
Oh, we're good. Yes, you got to have the power button. Well doesn't it go away on its own it does, but if you have the power
For a thousand give me a break. I just realized there was no hyphen in the name of this candy bar
Fuck fuck it clicked the second you buzzed in I got a little delay I do I have
All right, we're back and tires back
100 true or false mr.. Monopoly from the infamous board game. Where's a monocle? It's false. What is false? Oh, yeah, I
Know most of the Mandela effects because I did fucking copious amounts of research on great great
I'm not doing copious amounts of research
I'm not taking guesses of these it's about to just say false Tyler's big
600 actually I was gonna say 600 I damn buzz in there's an ongoing debate as to whether a
Cornucopia was ever included in this clothing
Yes
It was right yeah, okay good no no there wasn't a cornucopia like that was like like I thought there's a cornucopia in it forever
There was actually back in like that fucking like 20. I should get why because there was why is there a picture of an on the internet?
Of a cornucopia in it, then there's a whole bunch of pictures of fucking the band steam bears, too
All right, talk to hundred
bullshit 200 people frequently miss quote Darth Vader saying Luke I am your father
No, Luke. I know Luke. I am your father right incorrect
No, I am your father
Yes, Ellie back
Bang oh, baby, I got 200
Do much for you fuck you Casey oh
Man Game of Thrones Game of Thrones for 200 yeah the throne of the UK is currently occupied by him
Yes
You really get me into that headspace
It's not about it's not about Game of Thrones I
Have no hope
Do you I'm hopeless do you know Game of Thrones? Yeah?
You fucking do you know monarchs no?
I don't know monarchs. I don't know presidents. I'm politically
Buzzer down
No, the fact 400 despite what you remember this has always been the color of Pikachu's tail
It's fucking ears everybody thought it was on the tail
Game of Thrones rhyme time non-english artists eight days a week all in the family what continent, but do I belong?
to
200 in
2022 this member of the Adams family received a Netflix spin-off
How am I supposed to fucking know that?
How am I supposed to know that it's a day of the week?
All right, so I would have taken a shot in the dark down what the fuck is the Adams family what am I fucking 90?
What is the items? Tyler? Oh?
It is a week for 400
You got 34 alimax got 200. Oh, I'm not even touching it dude. No, I'm not even touching the fire fire
200
I'm real all right. I got a delay fuck hello. Yeah, it's a
You fucking time when you lose. I want you guys you win. You just you're just like my home
You win all the time, but whenever you lose. It's just like ah fuck. How much you bet to ice you know one
200 Rebecca black loves to get tell him this day. What is Friday?
Friday we'll continue this category
For 600 name of Leonard Skinner's woman that left too soon
There's seven inches, but I'm not I'm not sure
What is wait the full name or just the day of the week first name?
So you're telling me that is the name just one day yeah
What is Tuesday
access Tuesday
Oh
It's like well we already use the ones I thought it was days gone with the wind Ellie Mac
Repect fuck
Is there any more in that category yeah 800 according to Elton John this night's all right for fighting
What is Saturday oh yeah, I
Can throw this wine glass so hard right now
Why am I drinking wine?
I'm literally a tenth of a so this game would be neck and neck if I wasn't drinking cuz I've gotten most of these
It's just clicked a split second after you buzz in
Fuck me dude
One thousand this massacre in 1972 where the British killed 26 armed unarmed protest
What is Sunday? What is Sunday bloody son? Yeah?
Yeah, I love it
Great you to song by the way you got you to you got Game of Thrones rhyme time
Non-english artists all right
Let's get boned on fucking Game of Thrones again because I'm not gonna know anything
For 400 in this country the occupant of the throne was called the czar I
Was gonna say what is Prussia, and I believe it's also bizarre there
I think there's a couple countries that czar it could be a czar do I get partial credit?
Yeah, but I said Prussia after next time count for something right
600 during World War two the king of this country
Symbolized resistance to the German occupation by riding his horse through Copenhagen without guards
Don't go to the king of this country symbolized
Resistance to the German occupation by riding his horse through Copenhagen without birds. He's gonna guess what is France nope
Yeah, yeah, yeah figured that was gonna go that way
Fucking
Yeah, I get the note you got to see the the the drips on it see how far I am Tyler you want to give that a
Guess no
Please come on. Just throw one out there. I'll be done mark make it a competition
Competition so fucking throw me a bone dude. See I'm not crazy buddy. I'm not patch my homes and Tom Brady
Tom Brady was the same fucking way he won all the time and when he lost you
Ready did the same shit. He's just on his side. Yes. They were the top rule got invented because of him
They were more on his side
I know you're not I'm not saying anything about the rest, but the rest absolutely were on Brady's side and he cheated
They're more on and he fucking cheated. Yeah, you are Tom Brady you fucking I'm back
So you got plenty of time to come back? No, I don't
Respect with what Game of Thrones? Yeah fucking right for 800
You got 4800 I'm playing this game under protest 800 800
This king of England married his sixth wife in 1543 after the previous five cannot bear him a son
Oh fuck what was his name?
What was the question?
Give me a second
The king of England that married his sixth wife in 1543 after the previous five cannot bear him a son
I fucking know this what the fuck was his name?
There's really only two names I think of when I think of British Kings back on yeah
Yeah, I have to get the number right
You're fucked
It's 50 50s either Louie or Henry, I don't know which one
King Henry is either Louie or Henry. Oh
Tyler
1000 King Henry the ace daughter who has a cocktail named after her
Well, you marry are you fucking joking she bathed in the blood of fucking
Babies
You got rhyme time non-english are you know that why the fuck do you know that she was the inspiration?
That's why she was the inspiration of Dracula fucking forgive me how can I fucking forget
All in the family and what comment do I belong on?
On the family for 200 Jim Paul Mark and Donnie
What is the Adam Stanley who said the Walbergs are you fucking kidding me Tyler there's more than one of them
Fucking Mandela fact right there. Yeah
I'm gonna go with the family
400 well Jada Jaden and Willow
Tyler
All the family 600 Theodore Franklin and Eleanor that was
You hear what I buzzed in it was fucking right there, dude. It was almost there. You gotta be kidding me
You have got to be kidding me
800 Alex Eddie and Wolf King
Alex Eddie Wolf King, it's not worth the guess. I'm probably wrong. I got a fucking echo again. Oh
Yeah
I knew it as soon as he said it that it was right
Never would have came up on it on my own. You see I got a pretty profound
We're back Tyler's pick
Families for a thousand Ron and Rand
Paul yes
Ron Paul not related
Ali Mack you got prime time non-english artists and what comment do I belong on it's a song
What kind of end do I belong on for a thousand?
CG
Continent I thought CG was an island
I thought it was it wasn't on a continent. It was on an island. It's are we talking like tectonic plates here?
Every island belongs to a continent does it? Yeah, I thought islands were like separate things
It ain't worth a guess well like midway that like midways in the middle of the fucking Pacific
That doesn't belong to a condom, but Fiji is near a condom. Fiji's near a continent
I thought we thought it was like some isolated island where they made water. Yeah, it's not worth
No, that'd be Oceania
That's not a continent. It is
Wow that was a fucking thank fucking God
Ali Max pick
Fuck it. All right, let's reel it in. We'll go that cut that one for 200 200 Mozambique
Oh
Yes, I just thought of a dirty son of a bitch
Mozambique that sounds pretty
Where the other categories rhyme time non-english artists?
Rhyme time I was hoping it was gonna be like animals. I would have got that be like the penguin Antarctica
Fuck for 200 president Biden's political opponents
What is this what category rhyme time
Yeah, I don't think you guys are you that'd be Joe's foes
I would be mad at myself. I did get that. I think if I buzzed it and got that Tyler would have punched me in the face
Fuck it continents, I guess that's that's a fucking wash of a category
400 Guadalupe. Oh
Fuck
Are you buzzing in yeah
He changed he said what is America yeah, that's an option and then he gets his points back he buzzed him with the wrong answer
What do you think the rules are here Casey? He answered incorrectly you fucking let you think you're buzzing in and he said yes
And then he changed it after you can't we're gonna keep time score
Thank God at least the refs aren't on your side. It's
Kind of for 600 Myanmar
Myanmar Myanmar Myanmar
Like I'm at the level where I should probably start guessing but I'm so uneducated I'm
7200 to 2200
Oh
Fuck it Kelsey's down there somewhere
Fear it's boom 40 yards that was for drunk
Fucking unreal Tyler's yes for Aaron Hernandez
That's who you fucking threw it to made a deal with the devil that fucking dude hung himself fuck
Murderer. All right next question on that category 800
You got 7800 I would take is one of those to get me back in the game about 100 what 800 800 and Dora
and Dora and Dora
Like an avatar question and Dora and Pandora and
What's South America probably
Those Europe
Yep, take this vape away from me before I throw on Tyler you got rhyme time non-english artists
First one who says the name
Smelling salts before we fucking do it. I gotta wake up or some you gotta put some headphones on actually
I gotta make this why competitive rhyme time. Nope. I'm not an English artist non-english art
You gotta you tell me the name of the artist I
All right, I'm in
What is I yes
I thought it was the country now it's gonna say South Korea and I would have been
Tyler's back
Continuing rhymes right. No, no, no, no fucking whatever the fuck that category was
English artists. Yeah, what is Romstein Rob?
They know that one I'm like this sounds like Romstein I haven't heard this song
But I think it sounds like Romstein Dan if you're listening to this go fuck yourself
I didn't even touch it. No, it's fine. Tyler's we'll do that that category on real 600. What is Mexico?
I can't think of the guy's name fuck. I know the name of the song does that count? That would be Lewis Fonzie
We're back times, but how many delays have we had this episode a lot?
All right, can we get a little bit of a break?
I'm gonna go back to the song I was listening to the song
I had this episode a lot. I continue because my mic's a temperamental con for 800
Nope
I'm digging what is towards yellow cordia? I can't
Would you know? Maybe wait till I start singing. Oh, yeah, they are seeing
What's baby metal? Oh
Yes
Are you looking at the screen? I can't see the fucking screen
Casey was on the screen at that point. No, so Tyler got a rope
I was like fuck
After I heard on my pockets baby battle you fucking my home baby metal is a good fucking band
They would never heard of them before in my entire life. Really? Yeah, they're looking this Japanese band that like
Japanese yeah, no, they have a bunch of chicks singing metal. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Those were chicks. Yeah
And they all were like fucking goth like outfits and shit. It's fucking awesome
Literally had zero idea that this ever existed. Yeah
I'm Tyler's we'll continue. I guess there's that no 1000
I don't think either of us are gonna get this
No, I know you guys know this one. I know you guys know this one
Come on no one knows I've I've never heard this on know my life
That'd be six nine. That was six nine. That was six nine singing Spanish
You fucking idiot
I didn't know that I thought he was like fake black
Wow, is that racist?
Like black people wouldn't claim him Tyler. You got rhyme time. Let's fuck dude. This one's no one's getting it's
400 miss Montana's yellow fruit
Miss Montana, what is Montana banana?
Wait, I'm so fucking rhymes. Yeah
What is Hannah banana
What is Hannah Hannah
Tannis miss Montana's yellow fruit. Yeah this category
I
Hate my life. All right continue this category
I swap here
Stop outsourcing six hundred mr. Sinatra's baseball team
What is Frank's yanks, yes, are you fucking kidding me I know is the Yankees I was gonna be Sinatra's miniaturas
800 a charge of one cent to call eight six seven five three. Oh nine
What's Jenny's penny? Yeah, are you fucking how are you getting this?
My brain can't work that quick not right now
If I was sober and on Adderall, I think I had a chance but next next on that
Rhyme time for 1000. Yeah, mr. Lee's barber
If you pull this out of your ass, I'm mr. Lee's barber, I'm gonna jump out a fucking window
Mr. Lee is it me
Is that the joke is that the joke is there like a joke here there might be a joke
Mr. Lee's barber. Yeah. Yeah, wait
No, I feel like
No, I feel like wait is is it my actual barber shop because I know my barber shop rhymes with my name
It's been doing fucking surveillance on you. He knows where you get your hair cut
Like I do like my barber shop does rhyme with my name like that's I'm gonna talk about
Is it Tyler's Skylar barber? No, that'd be Tyler's styler. Oh
Yeah, you're upset wow you're real upset
Really fucking really close one we got
Not a fucking barn burner at all. I'm right in this anything could happen Tyler. You got 8600
I even got 2200 fucking so stupid
Categories music. All right
What
I
Already know this is gonna be the most stupid fucking question
it's always like oh music and then it'll be like
Some fucking classical like what year did mozart come out with his sixth sympathy symphony?
I'm gonna say the theme for the devil fuck. Ah
Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste
Ah, that's a good song all right, I got your wagers question
Put these wrappers in order according to their date of death little peep juice world and xxx
Put these wrappers in order according to the date of death will peep
So most recent first xxx. I think that let's make this interesting if you can get all three years
Correct. I'll give you a win. Oh
No, that's not fucking fair
He's not gonna get it
But if you got nothing to worry about if tyler gets so the years collect correct. I'll win too
I'm already gonna win
What's the uh, what was it? What was the thing peeps? Uh
No, little peep juice world
I wonder who died first nasa little pea nasa still alive exactly
Uh little peep juice world xxx. Tentacion
I know the first one for sure
I think that's it
And do you want the years?
If you want to get an automatic win
Automatic win do I get minus points if I don't get the years?
The three dead motherfuckers
Oh
No
Fuck I I just remembered the fucking
I remembered the fucking the gravestone in vr chat. I'm wrong. Do you want to change it?
Go ahead and change it
I just remembered the vr chat gravestone. I'm like fuck you're throwing me off now tyler gets another chance to change it
I think I got it wrong
I think I fucking blew it
I fucking I don't know shit about x I know he got fucking shot in the throat
He got shot in the throat juice fucking od on fucking xanax
And then peep just and then little peep just straight on got your answers tyler says peep x and juice
That's correct
He said 2018
2019 and 21
It's incorrect
But uh tyler got some points you got a thousand points for that
up to 9600
Did you end up changing it?
Wow
Why did we let the change happen?
Unreal the rest wanted to say how you maxed out peep x and juice. No, I didn't I I changed the year
Yeah, I maxed out peep x and juice. That's correct
For years we'll do fuck it 2017 2018 and 2019
That's correct
There's no way that that's a win
No, we're back and uh tyler rage quit
I'm still here
He's six time champion
We're fucking back
um
Tyler's out of here. I'm back. Congratulations on your sixth win
I can't believe that just happened
Um
I really wish you stayed
I know I heard him walking upstairs. I don't I think he might not have left yet. I hope he comes back down
I hope he comes back down
We'll take a break and we'll we'll come back
Oh my god, that felt good though
That felt that's like the biggest drop of serotonin i've had in a in a long time
You did a good job with that one actually
The craziest thing is that there was like a logical thought process that went behind it because I was like
Pete died like probably the year after I got out of high school in 2016. Yep, and then it was like
Like it made sense that fucking x died after
Yeah, and then I knew that juice was just before covid
And I almost said 20
2017 2019 2019 or 2017 2020 2020
And I was like, ah, why not? Why don't we just put them in a row?
Those divine intervention. I just I can't believe that the big clutchy
I'm sorry. That's unbelievable. I I know whoever fucking whoever listened to this had to have gotten a kick out of that
They had to probably fucking come to pants for that actually
I mean, I have to imagine
I I feel like most people probably tuned out halfway through that game. They're probably like, ah, well
I'll tell you what if you have a giant load in your pants because of alivax win email us
I'm telling the podcast 73 at gmail.com
All right
I think we should take a break. We'll be right back on untill the podcast
Yeah, welcome back to our type of broadcast what a song
What a tune
All right episode level six to tell me what you think
About me. I would try to argue
Against you. I don't care what Tyler says. I'm excited to go to canada
me too
Me too
He better fucking come
Yeah
I don't know
I don't know just when I when I saw uh, you know the canadians this week burning the
The american flag and burn it and booing the national anthem
I was just like
You know fucking trump did this
Yeah, we fucking did this to our allies
Basically a country that's already part of the united states
So like it's closest ally
Like what's the purpose of that? I don't know it just it hurt to see too because like i'm a huge hockey fan. So like
hockey is like
That's like an integral thing that links the us and canada. That's like one of the first things you think of it's
All interleague like half the teams are canadian half of them are american like it's a very unique sport in that way
It's called the nhl, but it's two nations to play in it
Yeah, it's like I don't know so it's like to see something like that in the sports
Like I don't blame the canadian fans for thinking that
But like it stings to see as an american. I hate to see that relationship tarnish
Yeah, he's basically punishing them for no reason
Right and now we fucking got uh, well, I wouldn't say
All right. So I wouldn't say no reason so yes, like whatever the biden administration said that they were going to send people to the border, right?
Like under the biden administration canada said that they were going to have they already agreed to whatever they were going to do
I guess uh trump just wasn't uh, he wanted it to happen sooner
Yeah, because I the one thing that I did see though is that I was I did a little bit of research into this in particular
Not research actually. I watched a youtube video by like a canadian guy like some ordinary gamers. He's a fucking
cool dude
Covers like ai and video game stuff great great fucking youtube channel check him out mudahar. He's a fucking good dude, but
He was like I never talk about politics
but I feel like I have to show this and he showed the fucking thing with the canada and the you uh,
then booing the uh, u.s. National Anthem and it's just like
Stunk but then he also delved into the facts of the border and it was like they had like a seven
Seven month gap where canada made no drug seizures at all
at all for like seven months like dude
You're not checking at that point because like there's definitely drugs coming in through the border
It's so weak there everybody thinks like oh, it's not coming from canada. Yeah, sure the drugs aren't coming from canada
But they get up there because these people know that they can get in through that border so easy
So it's like a fucking loophole. Isn't that on the u.s border patrol?
Don't they doesn't the u.s border patrol control the border with canada?
Not completely you go through a check on both ends, but typically the check that's more rigorous is
the coming into the united states
right
yeah, but like
so for example, like when we left for canada we literally just like
walked across the bridge
I know when I went to canada they were just like what are you doing here and like go ahead?
But when you come back to the united states, they like search you and shit
Honestly the u.s part there was nothing like when you return to the when you return there like it's like canada did their thing
We talked to a canadian border guy
Who like checked our stuff going back in and then that was it?
We really only spoke to the canadians at all, which was kind of weird
I don't know
it's different when you're in a car because the car searches are like way more because it's like
We're pedestrian traffic. So like I feel like
That's also it has to be a loophole. I would imagine because like
We could have had anything on us and it wasn't gonna matter
I think we walked through like a metal detector or something and that was it
But like it's fucking it's a joke like you could just walk through there
They weren't searching us or like patting us down or anything
Yeah, I feel like uh when you go through with the cars they've they definitely search you uh a lot more
but uh
What was I gonna say? But how is there no seizures for seven months? That's what i'm saying like
They're probably they're like, oh, let's check the trunk
Somebody's smuggling a shitload of drugs. They're probably in the seat like underneath like
I don't know. I've never seen a dog at that border ever in my life
But was it really necessary? No, no, it wasn't it was completely it was so hyper aggressive
I threatened that severe terrorist
Oh, no
I'm not even touching it. I'm not even touching it. Oh, no, we're good
Yeah, I don't know he did the same fucking thing
He did the same fucking shit with mexico, too. I know and china
China we didn't hit. I got an echo fuck. All right, here we go
Then we grubbed up something from here we fucking ordered denny's and I got you something I think
and
You knocked you went to your room and knocked and I knocked on the couch and I woke up the next morning
And just brought it in and like yeah, no, it was here when you woke up
I know I took it home and ate it but I was like
Fuck I was like hungry last night. That would have been perfect then but why does it why does everything from denny smell the same?
I don't know. I got fucking delay again. Oh jesus
Yeah, so I mean
Fucking uh trump's doing a lot of crazy shit this week, right? Yeah
He's fucking trying to uh, you know take over greenland
And you know, we're going to war right? He's trying to purchase it
We're going to war trade war with canada and mexico
and china
We're fucking making the u.s. A christian
religious state
It's it's not good not good
I know
But you know you voted for him
You know
I think that you you may be blowing some things out of proportion there
I don't think it's as disastrous as it is like these tariffs. I don't think
Like they got the job done. They were like a bluff. I don't I don't really think that we really we're really going to follow through on that
It was more like a pull your heads out of your asses even though in the cases of canada
It was not fucking deserved at all
I know it's like a complete bluff because we rely on them too hard, but what do we what do we want from china?
What are we trying to accomplish out of this?
these tariffs
Money yeah
Less drugs in theory
That's what the government tells you
You think uh, you think we're getting a lot of drugs from china. I don't know
Actually, they say that fentanyl is where a lot of it's where a lot of fentanyl is made is giant
It's uh, it's definitely here in the u.s. Too
definitely, uh
made and manufactured in mexico in the u.s. In canada
And I I really think we should uh shut down the border for all their countries
Don't you think that's a little extreme casey? I don't know. I'll tell you what ellie mac
Okay
Lay it on
I'll tell you what i'm kind of fucking frosty. We're gonna end this episode here
Listen if you like their guests on i'm total podcast today
i'm
franklin tyler lee
daniel delaney
Email us total podcast 73 at gmog
Sace baby. I hit the sace today in dramatic fashion and of course join us for episode 100 live from montreal
Fuck yeah
You know and just fucking try to love yourselves and love each other
Uh and as always be kind to yourselves
and each other
Then then uh dan would say we out and then I would say fuck off
God love you all
For all we know robots have souls, we just don't know if they do or don't how do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
Cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet
No, no we are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole yes we are there's people out there with some really dumb thoughts
extended
Episodes where the fuck did this gear come from where the fuck did stone edge come from you're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts
Oh, they're killing they're killing all already born babies and sell them to the chinese
Somewhere in china, right in some base what the fuck there are super soldiers that are at least nine or ten feet tall
So then they are extraterrestrials they are aliens
But I see I hate jfk was killed by the government before my eyes
While holding their pulse feel them die of this virus you feel bump bump bump beep nothing
They're fucking gone. I've seen it happen. I think that the government has
Taken it to the next level with the birds
They know what birds are going to cross paths with you that you are going to be able to raise and they are going to make
Them so fucking real they're going to sink money into them because they know that if you put that motherfucker in a cage
They're going to be able to convince you that thing is fucking real. You can cut it open
You're going to see blood guts. No circuitry, but let me tell you their technology
Which by the way big brother is the overlord
Or if we're only living in the third dimension
So
George soros is an actual nazi collaborator. Okay, i'm not fucking lying. It's fucking real
Okay, look it up. Look it up. He says that he was doing this shit george soros actually worked with the fucking nazis during the home
He says that he was doing it just to survive, but he fucking loved he was having a great fucking time
I'm doing this shit george soros is the fucking devil. Okay, he's not fucking doing this shit
George soros is fucking he's the actual fucking leader for all this shit
He's fucking put down a whole bunch of shit
Just don't fucking get it
Oh donald trump the fucking word person out there
Looks rough right fuck trump. He's not the actual fucking leader. It's george soros. It's bill gates. It's fucking elon musk. It's everyone out there everybody
Am I what I did