The following program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
Fewer discretion is advised.
This program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
Welcome to the Joe Rogan Experience.
Episode 78. Presidential Debate Edition.
Man, if we were only a couple episodes back it would have been a 76th episode like 1776.
Yeah, but now we have the age of Biden.
Ah, that's true.
We got the presidential debate of Biden versus Trump live.
It is now 9 o'clock.
We're going to have a live reaction to it.
This is going to be awful.
You know, they said Biden was actually, Trump was getting a little nervous, but Biden was actually a little better prepared than they thought he would be.
Well, I mean anything's better than just a walking corpse that he was.
The walking corpse.
They say that this is going to be the deciding debate of the election.
Is it?
Yeah, probably.
I think it's going to be real fucking sad whatever happens.
Let's, uh, I don't think we can start the episode.
Fuck yeah!
So we got a lot going on this week.
Do you see like North Korea, fucking Kim Jong and fucking Putin are now like buddies?
Whatever, dude. It's not going to do anything.
That doesn't scare you?
No.
Rocket Man's a fucking loser.
Dude, they're promising to like stand up for each other.
Like they're going to send like fucking North Korea.
We're going to suck each other's cocks bro, but not in a gay way.
They're fucking sending North Korean troops to Ukraine to fight.
Damn dude.
That's going to be awful.
And then we're going to get in a fucking proxy war.
We're already in a proxy war, Ali Casey.
They're already in a proxy war. If you don't think so, then you're fucking stupid.
How dare you call me Ali Mac.
Fuck off.
All right, let's take bets.
How long is it going to take Biden to walk from backstage to the podium?
30 seconds.
November 5th will be the most important day in the history of our country.
This is a CBS News special.
America decides.
The first presidential debate now reporting.
Nora O'Donnell.
Good evening.
We are fucking Nora O'Donnell.
Can we get copyright claim for this?
It's like a public thing.
It's like a debate.
I guess.
What the fuck is that?
Can I just while we're waiting, can you describe what your shirt is currently?
I got a new shirt of my favorite new rapper, BLP kosher and Anne Frank.
Anne Frank's also on there.
Anne Frank, the Holocaust victim.
He has a lot of the song.
It's like I'm forever smoking Nazis.
I'll pass the blunt to Anne Frank.
Good evening. I'm Dana Bash, anchor of CNN's Inside Politics and co-anchor of State of the Union.
I'm Jake Tapper, anchor of CNN's The Lead and co-anchor of State of the Union.
Dana and I will co-moderate this evening.
Oh, no.
Oh, they're moderating.
Oh, no.
Between the two candidates tonight.
Before we introduce.
Oh, I forgot there's no audience.
With the audience at home.
No audience.
Why?
Because Biden gets too nervous.
What the fuck?
Their positions.
Each candidate will have two minutes to answer a question.
Did you see the one last time where he's just like, can you guys stop and stop hearing and talking?
You're just wasting time.
Who said that?
No fucking albino guy.
What the fuck's his name?
The moderator?
Yeah.
What the fuck's his name?
The candidate interrupts when his microphone is muted.
He will be difficult to understand for viewers at home.
At the end of the debate, each candidate will get a moment to hold his own speech.
There is no studio audience tonight.
Pre-written notes, props, or contact with campaign staff are not permitted during the debate.
By accepting our invitation to debate, both candidates and their campaigns agreed to accept these rules.
Now, look for the earpiece on Biden.
President of the United States.
Oh, shit.
There he is.
Why does he walk like a fucking robot?
Hi, folks.
He literally walks like he's already dead.
Why does it look like a Jeopardy stage?
It looks like Jeopardy.
The 45th president of the United States.
He goes, hi, folks.
Donald Trump.
Ah, menace.
Menace to society.
Oh, there they are.
Are they going to shake hands?
Are they going to hug?
Are they going to fuck each other in the ass?
Nope.
They didn't even look at each other.
Gentlemen, thanks so much for being here.
Let's begin the debate and let's start with the issue that voters consistently say is their top concern, the economy.
President Biden, inflation has slowed, but prices remain high.
Since you took office, the price of essentials has increased.
For example, a basket of groceries that cost $100 then now cost more than $120.
And typical home prices have jumped more than 30%.
What do you say to voters who feel they are worse off under your presidency than they were under President Trump?
We've got to take a look at what I was left when I became president.
You know what?
Mr. Trump loved me.
He looks confused.
He had an economy that was in trouble.
The pandemic was so badly handled.
Many people were dying.
It looks a lot older now.
So Trump or Biden?
Biden.
You'll be all right.
The economy collapsed.
There were no jobs.
Unemployment rate rose to 15%.
Trump's face.
Trump's just like, this is not easy with.
We were trying to put things back together again.
That's exactly what we began to do.
We created 15,000 new jobs.
We brought out the position where we have 800,000 manufacturing jobs.
But there's more to be done.
There's more to be done.
Working class people are still in trouble.
I come from Scranton, Pennsylvania.
Scranton, Pennsylvania.
I thought you were from Delaware.
He was like, all right, Mr. President, I want to mention you from Scranton at least five
times.
The debate's on, dude.
What up, Ali Mack?
Get your fucking headphones.
I'm fucking cracked.
Welcome Ali Mack to the podcast.
It's caffeinated sober Ali Mack.
You never hear him here.
Our fearless leader is speaking.
I was left with a little corporate greed for the reason why we're in this place right now.
In addition to that, we're in a situation where if you take a look at all that was done
in his administration, he didn't do much at all.
By the time he left, things were in chaos.
They were literally in chaos.
You're a gentleman and a scholar.
Let me tell you that.
I said those jobs, we made sure we had a situation where we now brought down the price of prescription
drugs, which is a major issue for many people.
It's $15 for an insulin shot as opposed to $400.
How much my perks cost me?
Trump looks like he's falling asleep.
I'd be falling asleep, too.
Biden's just changing the subject.
He really is.
That's what we're going to get done.
No, he's not.
Thank you.
President Trump?
We're the greatest economy in the history of the country.
When I was president, we had the greatest economy in the history of history.
And history is huge.
History is huge.
So we wouldn't end up in a Great Depression, the likes of which we had in 1929.
By the time we finished, we did a great job.
We got a lot of credit for the economy.
I just love how he talks.
His voice is funny.
And so many other things.
Everything was rocking good.
Rocking good.
The only thing we got credit for and we should have is getting us out of that COVID mess.
He created mandates.
That was a disaster for our country.
But other than that, we had given them back a country where the stock market actually was higher than pre-COVID.
Hell yeah.
You know, they say if Trump gets elected, the crypto's going to go up a lot.
I need Dan to come in with the same energy I got right now.
He's done a poor job and inflation's killing our country.
It's absolutely killing us.
Thank you, President Biden.
It's not killing kids.
Biden's sleeping?
What are the longings going to be until they start interrupting each other?
I know nobody else who thinks they have the greatest economy in the world.
And you know, the fact of the matter is that...
He just grabbed the mic like this.
No, you didn't grab the mic.
You just went like this.
Is it possible to rotate the screen so I can see it too, or is that going to fucking disconnect everything?
Why don't you skip over here?
Wow, I'll be in the hot seat tonight.
He's the only president other than Herbert Hoover who's had a loss more jobs than the
equity began since Herbert Hoover.
Since fucking Johnny, since Jimmy Carter.
Is he alive still?
Still.
Yeah, he's about to die.
When he was president, we were still finding ourselves in a position where you had a notion
that we were this safe country.
The truth is, I'm the only president this century that doesn't have any, this decade,
any troops dying anywhere in the world.
He's the only president this decade.
President Trump, I want to follow up if I can.
Am I allowed to respond to him?
Well, I'm going to ask you a follow-up.
You're not allowed to respond.
He said, I'm the only president this decade that has troops.
He's the only president this decade.
He started in 2020.
How will you ensure that that doesn't drive prices even higher?
I think he needs to drive them higher.
He's going to close countries that have been ripping us off for years like China and many
others, in all fairness to China.
It's going to just force them to pay us a lot of money, reduce our deficit tremendously,
and give us a lot of power for other things.
But he made a statement.
The only thing he was right about is I gave you the largest tax cut in history.
I also gave you the largest regulation cut in history.
That's why we had all the jobs.
And the jobs went down when they bounced back.
And he's taking credit for bounced back jobs.
You can't do that.
He also said he inherited 9 percent inflation.
No, he inherited almost no inflation.
And it stayed that way for 14 months.
And then it blew up under his leadership because they spent money like a bunch of people
that didn't know what they were doing.
And they don't know what they were doing.
It was probably the worst administration in history.
There's never been.
And as far as Afghanistan is concerned, I was getting out of Afghanistan.
We're getting out with dignity and with strength.
It should be.
It definitely is.
He got out.
It was the most embarrassing day in the history of our country's life.
President Trump, over the last eight years, under both of your administrations, the national
debt soared to record highs.
And according to a new nonpartisan analysis, President Trump, your administration approved
eight point four trillion dollars in new debt.
Well, so far, President Biden, you've approved four point three trillion dollars in new debt.
So former President Trump face every time they fucking show you want to extend them and go
even further.
Who had more?
I didn't ask facing trillion dollars so far.
And record debt.
But why should top earners and corporations pay even less in taxes than they do now?
Because the tax cuts spurred the greatest economy that we've ever seen just prior to
covid.
And even after covid, it was so strong that we were able to get through covid much better
than just about any other country.
But we spurred that tax.
Now, when we cut the taxes, as an example, Mr. Trump, explain why you give the rich tax
cuts because it helps the economy.
We took in more revenue with much less tax and help your bringing back helps your back
into our country.
You want one of the country was going like never before.
And we were ready to start paying down debt.
We're ready to start using the liquid gold right under our feet, the oil and gas right
under our feet.
We were going to have something that nobody else has had.
We got hit with covid.
We did a lot to fix it.
I gave him an unbelievable situation with all of the therapeutics and all of the things
that we came up with, we gave him something great.
Remember, more people died under his administration, even though we had largely fixed it.
More people died under his administration than our administration.
And we were right in the middle of it, something which a lot of people don't like to talk about.
But he had far more people dying in his administration.
He did the mandate, which is a disaster mandating it.
The vaccine went out.
He did a mandate on the vaccine, which is the thing that people most object to.
People most objected to about the vaccine.
And he did a very poor job, just a very poor job.
And I will tell you, not only poor there, but throughout the entire world, we're no
longer respected as a country.
They don't respect our leadership.
They don't respect the United States anymore.
We're like a third world nation between weaponization of his election, trying to go after his political
opponent.
All of the things he's done, we've become like a third world nation.
And it's a shame.
The damage he's done to our country, and I'd love to ask him and Will why he allowed millions
of people to come in here from prisons, jails, and mental institutions to come into our country
and destroy our country.
Why did you do that?
President Trump, we will get to immigration later in this talk.
Biden looks like he's confused again.
Biden's like, what is he talking about?
How do I respond to that?
The largest national debt of any president in a four year period, number one.
Number two, that $2 trillion tax cut benefited the very wealthy.
When I'm in...
We have a thousand trillionaires in America.
What?
Did he actually just say that?
Yeah, he did.
There are no trillionaires.
We get a fact check on that?
Oh, wait.
$500 million.
Hold on, Biden.
Fact check.
If you're able to wipe out his debt, make sure that all those things we need to do,
child care, elder care, making sure that we continue to strengthen our health care system.
Oh, yeah.
Oh my God.
What the fuck?
Forever smoking Nazis.
Apple.
Yeah, Herzog.
I like these.
Not bad.
Look.
What the fuck was that noise?
He just stalled.
I think he just had a TIA.
He beat it to death and he's destroying Medicare because all of these people are coming in.
They're putting them on Medicare.
They're putting them on Social Security.
They're going to destroy Social Security.
This man is going to single handedly destroy Social Security.
These millions and millions of people coming in, they're trying to put them on Social Security.
He will wipe out Social Security.
He will wipe out Medicare.
So he was right in the way he finished that sentence.
And it's a shame.
What's happened to our country in the last four years is not to be believed.
Foreign countries, I'm friends with a lot of people, they cannot believe what happened to the United States of America.
We're no longer respected.
They don't like us.
We give them everything they want and they think we're stupid.
They think we're very stupid people.
We're stupid people.
What we're doing for other countries and they do nothing for us.
What this man has done is absolutely criminal.
Thank you, President Trump.
That's quite the statement.
That's quite the statement coming from a criminal.
Coming from someone who just got convicted of a felony.
This morning, the court ruled on yet another abortion case, temporarily allowing emergency abortions to continue in Idaho.
Bad look.
Former President Trump, you take credit for the decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, which returned the issue of abortion to the states.
Correct.
However, the federal government still plays a role in whether or not women have access to abortion pills.
They're used in about two thirds of all abortions.
As president, would you block abortion medication?
The Supreme Court just approved the abortion pill and I agree with their decision to have done that and I will not block it.
If you look at this whole question that you're asking, not really complex.
Fifty one years ago, Roe v. Wade and everybody wanted to get it back to the states.
Everybody, without exception, Republicans, liberals, conservatives, religious leaders.
And what I did is I put three great Supreme Court justices on the phone and they happened to vote in favor of killing Roe v. Wade and moving it back to the states.
This is something that everybody wanted.
Now, ten years ago or so, they started talking about how many weeks and how many this and getting into other things.
But every legal scholar throughout the world, the most respected, wanted it brought back to the states.
I did that.
Now the states are working it out.
If you look at Ohio, it was a decision that was an end result that was a little bit more than we had ever thought.
In Kansas, I would say the same thing.
Texas is different. Florida is different.
But they're all making their own decisions right now.
Biden looks like someone just told them they're not serving dinner in the nursing home today.
Like, what?
I can't do that.
Like, you're switching me from honey thick to nectar thick and to PRA. Are you fucking kidding me?
This is outrageous.
Get my health care proxy here immediately.
I need the honey thick.
Radical.
The eighth month, the ninth month, and even after birth, if you look at the former governor of Virginia, he was willing to do this.
Nobody's saying that Democrats want to have abortions at nine months.
That's ridiculous.
They do.
Yeah.
What happened is we brought it back to the states and the country is now coming together on this issue.
But that's the thing. It should be a state-wide issue. It shouldn't be a federal thing.
Why?
Thank you. President Biden?
It's been a terrible thing.
The fact is that the vast majority of constitutional scholars supported Roe when it was decided.
What did he just say?
The House of Representatives.
This idea that they're all against it is just ridiculous.
And this is the guy who says the state should be able to have it.
We're a state where in six weeks, you don't even know whether you're pregnant or not, but you cannot see a doctor and have him decide on what your circumstances are.
It could be a her.
Every time I think Biden's about to say something cool, he just like trails off.
He's like, oh yeah, he's going to get it.
I want to like him so bad.
I don't.
Including a young woman who just was murdered.
And he went to the funeral.
The idea that she was murdered by an immigrant coming in to talk about that, here's the deal.
That has nothing to do with abortion.
Like that was the question.
Wait, he's losing it.
By their in-laws, by their spouses, brothers and sisters.
Trump's like, what the fuck?
It's ridiculous.
And they can do nothing about it.
All Trump had to do was just shut up.
Trump doesn't even have to talk.
There's many young women murdered by the same people he allows to come across our border.
This is very tame Trump so far though.
We have a border that's the most dangerous place anywhere in the world.
There's no crowd there to rile up though.
The most dangerous place anywhere in the world.
And he opened it up and these killers are coming into our country.
That had to be a Biden stipulation.
He doesn't want a crowd there.
And they are raping and killing women.
It was actually.
And it's a terrible thing.
That makes sense.
That doesn't inspire confidence.
In many cases the US has a very liberal decision.
Look at his face.
You've got to get a picture of that face.
But they're voting and it's bringing it back to the vote of the people.
He looks like fucking Beavis in Butt-Head.
Including the founders if they knew about this issue.
Which frankly they didn't.
But they would have.
Everybody wanted brought back.
Ronald Reagan wanted it brought back.
He wasn't able to get it.
Everybody wanted it brought back.
It looks like a dementia patient that you're trying to explain that they don't have a choice whether or not they're going to the hospital.
And they just don't get why.
What do you mean?
What year is it buddy?
1983.
Who's the president?
Ronald Reagan.
Fucking Jimmy Carter.
Dude I think Jimmy Carter being up there would be better than Joe Biden right now.
Dude you can fucking cart his corpse up there and he'd be fucking better.
Oh they say Jimmy Carter's not even awake anymore.
No he sleeps for days at a time.
That's the last report from him.
He doesn't wake up like most days.
This is what the fucking last report was.
The doctor I mean between the woman and the state.
The idea that the politicians that the founders wanted the politicians to be the ones making decisions about women's health is ridiculous.
That's the last no politician should be making that decision.
A doctor should be making those decisions.
That's how it should be run.
That's what you're going to do.
That's what you're going to do and if I'm elected I'm going to restore Roe v. Wade.
What did he face when he made it at the end of that?
But he can already do that because he's already the president.
So why not just say I'm going to do this.
Take it after birth.
Again the former governor of Virginia put the baby down then we decide what to do with it.
So he's willing to as we say rip the baby out of the womb in the ninth month and kill the baby.
Nobody wants that to happen.
Democrat or Republican nobody wants it to happen.
That is simply not true.
Oh oh oh.
Provide for that.
Firework.
It's not the circumstance.
Only woman's life is in danger.
She's going to die.
That's the only circumstance where that can happen.
But we are not for late term abortion period period period.
Under Roe v. Wade you have late term abortion.
You can do whatever you want depending on the state.
You can do whatever you want.
We don't think that's a good thing.
The angle that I'm looking at this at it makes Trump's head look like a pin.
It's like a pinhead.
51 years.
That looks like a 51 years.
Pinhead to me.
The scholarship said it was the right way to go.
51 years.
Dirty Dan on the right.
Pinhead Larry on the left.
Holy fuck.
It looks like a Jeopardy background.
What's he going to do?
It looks like they're on Jeopardy.
I feel like I'm watching a live stream of a circus right now.
Republicans control the Congress and they pass a universal ban on abortion period across the board.
Period.
For six weeks or seven or eight or ten weeks.
Look at the classic red blue ties they both got.
Yeah.
Showing their parties.
I'll veto it.
He'll sign it.
Thank you.
Let's turn now to the issue of immigration and border security.
Mr. Trump please be quiet for five seconds.
...across the southern border on your watch.
Overwhelming border states and overburdening cities such as New York and Chicago.
Yeah what the fuck.
In some cases causing real safety and security concerns.
Given that why should voters trust you to solve this crisis?
Because we worked very hard to get a bipartisan agreement that not only changed all of that.
It made sure that we are in a situation where you had no circumstance where they could come across the border with the number of border police there are now.
We significantly increased the number of asylum officers.
Significantly, by the way the border patrol endorsed me.
Endorsed my position.
He just gave up on that sentence.
What the fuck.
Dude he's getting slaughtered.
Dude Joe Biden talks like the way I write charts when I'm getting out late.
Like I'm just trying to get it done and get out.
I don't even care if it's done.
There's no way that he can defend the border.
Dude his border is fucking so porous it's like a fucking sponge.
Right.
After Texas declared like...
War?
You know war on the fucking Mexicans.
The total initiative relative to border patrol and more asylum officers.
What was that last word he said?
More border patrols?
I don't think he knows what he said either.
Look we had the safest border in the history of our country.
All he had to do was leave it.
He decided to open up our border.
Open up our country to people that are from prisons.
He really did actually.
Terrorists.
We have the largest number of terrorists coming into our country right now.
All terrorists all over the world.
I don't think every one of them is a terrorist.
All over the world they're pouring in.
And this guy just left it open.
And he didn't need legislation.
Untitled podcast.
Because if somebody wants to come to America it's very secure right.
But people know that you can get across the Mexican border through like nothing.
You can just walk across it now.
And by the way, who endorsed me for president.
But they endorsed me for president.
Terrorists.
Brandon, just speak to them.
But look we had the safest border in history.
Now we have the worst border in history.
There's never been anything like it.
And people are dying all over the place.
Including the people that are coming up in caravan.
Maybe we should build a wall.
The only terrorist who's done anything crossing the border is one who came along and killed three under his administration.
With an al-qaeda person coming in and his administration.
What?
An al-qaeda.
The only terrorist ever got through.
But the idea they're emptying their prisons.
We're welcoming these people.
That's simply not true.
There's no data to support what he said.
Once again he's exaggerating.
He's lying.
President Trump, staying on the topic of immigration.
You've said that you're going to carry out quote the largest domestic deportation operation in American history unquote.
Does that mean that you will deport every undocumented immigrant in America.
Including those who have jobs.
Including those whose spouses are citizens.
And including those who have lived here for decades.
And if so how will you do it?
Just one second.
He said we killed three people.
The people we killed are al-bagdadi and Salamani.
The two greatest terrorists.
Biggest terrorists anywhere in the world.
And it had a huge impact on every single one.
I want to hear his answer to the question that just got asked.
He's the one that killed people with the bad water.
Including hundreds of thousands of people dying.
And also killing our citizens when they come in.
We are living right now in a rat's nest.
They're killing our people in New York, in California, in every state in the union.
Because we don't have borders anymore.
Every state is now a border.
And because of his ridiculous, insane, and very stupid policies.
What was the question?
I can't fucking even remember.
It was, um, where you get to deport every illegal immigrant.
Oh yeah.
I call it Biden migrant crime.
He did. He did point the question.
They're killing our citizens at a level that we've never seen before.
And you're reading it like these three incredible young girls over the last few days.
If that was Biden I would answer the next question.
But he didn't answer the last one.
I will though.
And he just had the funeral for this girl.
Twelve years old.
This is horrible what's taken place.
What's taken place in our country.
This is terrifying.
If we're literally an uncivilized country now.
He doesn't want it to be.
He just doesn't know.
He opened the borders.
Nobody's ever seen anything like.
And we have to get a lot of these people out.
And we have to get them out fast.
Because they're going to destroy our country.
Just take a look at where they're living.
They're living in our country.
Oh man.
Our veterans are on the street.
And dying because we don't care about our values.
He isn't like the military at all.
And he isn't there for our benefit.
Should I do something?
She doesn't make those noises when I drive.
Fuck.
I was supposed to be tired by now.
He's just thinking he's like.
If I lose I don't have to worry about this anymore.
Maybe it's not the worst thing in the world.
He's making some good points.
Because he's done all these great things that we did.
Did you see that.
Adidas isn't doing the jerseys anymore.
Yeah they're fucking doing fanatics now.
I'm never going to buy one of them.
President Biden you have the mic.
Every single thing he said is a lie.
Wow.
Veterans are a hell of a lot better off since I passed the PAC DAC.
What the fuck did you just say?
There's a PAC DAC.
PAC DAC.
I passed PAC the PAC DAC.
And he opposed his group.
We're also in a situation where.
That's the fucking title of the.
I opposed the PAC.
PAC PAC the PAC DAC.
Even when Biden gets mad.
It's just like loses his fizzle in like five seconds.
He forgets why he's mad.
That's why he does that.
Fucking.
I went to a World War II cemetery.
No World War I cemetery he refused to go to.
He was standing with his four star general.
And he told me.
He said I don't want to go in there because there are a bunch of losers and suckers.
My sucker is not a sucker.
You're the sucker.
You're the loser.
Oh shit.
He was called.
Those are suckers and losers.
They made it up.
It was in a third rate magazine that's failing like many of these magazines.
He made that up.
He put it in commercials.
We've notified him.
We had 19 people that said I didn't say it.
And think of this.
Who would say I'm at a cemetery or I'm talking about our veterans because nobody's taking better care.
I'm so glad this came up and he brought it up.
There's nobody that's taken better care of our soldiers than I have.
To think that I would in front of generals and others say suckers and losers.
We have 19 people that said it was never said by me.
It was made up by him.
Just like Russia, Russia, Russia was made up.
Just like the 51 intelligence agents are made up.
Just like the new thing with the 16 economists are talking.
It's the same thing.
I've got to get out of the way early.
51 intelligence agents said that the laptop was Russia disinformation.
It wasn't.
That came from the son Hunter.
It wasn't Russia disinformation.
He made up the suckers and losers.
He should apologize to me right now.
Four star general standing to your side was on your staff who said you said it.
Period.
That's number one.
This Roe v. Wade shit doesn't affect my stocks is what Dan says.
I have to apologize to you for anything along the line.
We've done more for veterans than any president has in American history.
Oh my God.
American history.
And they now are in their family.
I don't know if many veterans would agree with that.
No.
Well, we have a veteran coming over.
So we'll ask him.
I think I know what he's going to say.
I think we're just going to get confirmation.
I think that's about it.
Topic of foreign policy.
I want to begin with Russia's war against Ukraine, which is now in its third year.
That's three years ago.
Wow.
Vladimir Putin says he'll end this war.
If Russia keeps the Ukrainian territory, it's already claimed.
It's not a third year.
It started a couple months after the podcast.
Are Putin's terms acceptable to you?
Less than two years.
Our veterans and our soldiers can't stand this guy.
Yeah.
They can't stand him.
I'm thinking because I was with CC when it started and we just celebrated our two years yesterday.
Let's get that straight.
And they like me more than just about any other.
February 2022.
And that's based on every single bit of information.
As far as Russia and Ukraine.
Two and a half.
If we had a real president, the president that was respected by Putin.
That would have been a slam dunk.
You're wrong.
It hasn't been three years.
A lot of people are dead right now, much more than people know.
They talk about numbers.
Trump's spitting facts.
A lot of people are dead.
Yeah.
I'd argue that there's more people dead than there are living.
Good point, Trump.
Damn.
He's spitting facts right now.
How many people are dead?
You guys are watching untitled President's with a Vape reaction.
That's true.
The worst political reaction channel on the planet.
There have been a total of 117 billion humans that have lived in the last 192,000 years.
So he's right.
There are a lot of people dead.
There are more people that are dead out there.
I know.
He's spitting facts, bro.
To the record, only 8.1 billion people are alive.
It's just a fucking show of the contrast there.
It's a crazy ratio.
It's crazy how life works.
Hamas.
Casey, can you look up if Hamas existed one million years ago?
Hamas?
Yes.
Did Hamas exist one million years ago?
They might have existed.
We just lost it in the burning of...
Alexandria?
Yeah, I was going to say the library of Alexandria.
Hamas was actually founded in 1987.
Okay.
So it did not exist a million years ago.
Iran attacked American troops.
I guess this statement still rings true.
For a number of these troops.
And he did nothing about it when he was president.
They attacked.
He said they're just having headaches.
I'm going to throw up if I make another hit of that.
I've got to kill.
And he did a thing when the attack took place, number one.
Number two, we got over 100,000 Americans and others out of Afghanistan during that airlift.
Number three, we found ourselves in a situation where...
I feel like this is the most unprofessional political activist thing that we've done.
This guy told Trump, do whatever you want.
Do whatever you want.
And that's exactly what Trump did to Putin, encourage him to do whatever you want.
I feel like Casey's really the only one who's actually politically informed.
I just go, I'm angry.
I hear some shit and I run with it.
I don't know what I'm fucking talking about.
They've lost thousands and thousands of troops.
Oh, fuck.
Holy shit.
Let me see that shit.
I never said that.
Can we get the air horn for Tyler there?
My original question, which is, are Putin's terms acceptable to you?
Keeping the territory...
All right, keep that fucking soundboard hungry here.
If we had a leader in this war, he'd let everybody along, he's given...
Let me get in on that.
Ukraine, he's given $200 billion.
That's a lot of money.
Billion dollars.
I didn't think I could be more open-minded now.
Zelensky comes to this country, walks away with 60 million dollars.
I'm not nuts.
Do that now.
I think Biden and Trump should do the song, Saws, before this.
Joe Rogan.
Biden literally looks like he's asleep right now.
Oh my God.
Okay, he woke up.
We're good.
You know what we really need?
We need a political...
We need a presidential debate with Joe Rogan as the moderator.
So, Mr. President, what do you think about the aliens?
We got to do one where it's a compilation of everything that Biden said where he's not
slurring his words, and it'll be like a three-minute video out of like the four...
However long this fucking thing is.
It's 90 minutes.
How far in are we?
30 minutes.
Oh my God, we can't go the whole time, will we?
I think so.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
We're fucking mailing this one in.
We're out of ideas.
Just fucking, fucking, we'll watch the debate.
We'll commentate it.
Commentary, okay.
Are we turning into like a React channel?
Because I have like, I fucking despise React channels, but it kind of seems like what we're
doing.
It's just for this debate.
I feel like we're jinx right now.
Fucking iDubb's when he was cool made a content cop on this shit.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Moving on to the Middle East.
The image should just be a thumbnail of us like with...
Yeah, just Joe Biden going...
...among those held and thought to still be alive are five Americans.
There's only five Americans left.
That's all we got left.
Five Americans alive at this point.
There's still only hostages in Israel?
Yeah.
I hope they talk about the fucking botched job of a pullout game in Afghanistan.
They're not gonna.
Dude, why don't we send fucking black ops in there, fucking Navy SEALs and get them out?
Because that'd be a declaration of war.
Nah, dude.
You just do it like fucking Osama Bin Laden.
You just go in fucking quietly.
Everyone from the United Nations Security Council...
Dude, he is struggling.
What?
Dude, fucking go for it.
I don't want to see all your gear.
No.
The first stage is trade.
I'm gonna do one more after this one and that's all I'm doing.
I'm getting my drinks out of the way early so I'm sober by the time I gotta go home.
Same.
Casey, you're in the basement of your residence right now.
It's a long walk upstairs.
I feel like Joe Biden.
Sober up before the break so you can fucking smoke more.
You'll be less sober.
The only thing I've denied Israel was 2,000 pound bombs.
They don't work very well in populated areas.
They kill a lot of innocent people.
I don't know if Biden really wants to go down that rabbit hole.
2,000 pound bombs.
There's a lot of innocent people getting fucking bombed as it is.
He just said 2,000 pound bombs don't work well.
He said they do work well in highly populated areas.
No, he said they do not work well.
Regardless, the bombs we're using aren't fucking working.
Trump's like, please let me talk.
Please let me respond.
Look at his smug ass face.
He's just waiting until he gets the chance to talk again.
Like we did Ben Laden.
You don't have to do it.
And by the way, Trump's mug shot is a fantastic picture.
It should be eliminated.
It's a fucking album cover of all album covers.
He's fucking, he's mewing on it.
He's just...
Just going back to Ukraine for one second.
This guy has a little fucking rooster chin tucked in.
The European nations together have spent a hundred billion or maybe more than that, less than us.
Why doesn't he call them?
Trump's neck really does look like it's just overflowing out of its collar right now.
The Secretary General of NATO said Trump did the most incredible job I've ever seen.
He's got to be wearing a fucking compression suit underneath that.
Almost 100% of the money was paid by us.
You got that...
He didn't do that.
Opener.
Chief.
Yes I do.
I'm not here.
We're over a hundred billion dollars more spent and it has a bigger impact on them because of location,
because we have a notion in between.
You got to ask them as far as Israel and Hamas.
Let's get some more caffeine.
I don't think I've had enough.
Israel's the one that wants to go.
He said the only one that wants to keep going is Hamas.
Actually, Israel is the one.
And you should let him go and let him finish the job.
He doesn't want to do it.
He's become like a Palestinian, but they don't like him because he's a very bad Palestinian.
He's a weak one.
President Biden, do you have a minute?
I've never heard so much foolishness.
You're going to stay in NATO?
He's going to pull out of NATO.
I don't know if he's going to do that.
He's going to stay in NATO?
He's going to pull out of NATO?
He's going to come on their back?
He's not going to stay in and give them a clean pie?
He's going to come like a horse.
He's got a horse come, that guy.
Attack on all.
We want to start the nuclear war.
He keeps talking about it.
Go ahead.
Let Putin go in and control Ukraine and then move on to Poland and other places.
Biden, that's what you're doing.
Yeah, dude.
What the fuck?
And by the way, I got 50 other nations around the world to support Ukraine, including Japan.
No, the UN did that.
Because they understand that this kind of dislocation has a similar threat to the whole world peace.
No major war in Europe has ever been able to be contained just to Europe.
President Trump, just to follow up, would you support the creation of an independent Palestinian state in order to achieve peace in the region?
I'd have to see.
But before we do that, the problem we have is that we spend all the money.
Once again, complete question deflection.
I wish he just answered the questions because I know he has good responses to them.
He just wants to argue, though.
I think he's trying to respond to what Biden said.
But they keep asking him the second question.
Yeah, he doesn't really answer the question.
No, because they keep asking the second question because they're supposed to ask Biden the question and then Trump's supposed to be able to respond.
But they keep adding.
They don't allow for a rebuttal.
It's just the next question.
Hundreds of billions of dollars.
I said, and he's right about this.
I said, no, I'm not going to support NATO if you don't pay.
They asked me that question.
Would you guard us against Russia at a very secret meeting of the 28 states at that time, the nations at that time?
Yeah, a Palestinian state would never work because they're already so mixed in.
Billions and billions of dollars came flowing in the next day.
There is just always going to be war there.
They've been fighting for a thousand years.
They're not going to stop.
Yeah, it's just not going to stop.
Former President Trump, I want to ask you about January 6, 2021.
Oh, God, here we go.
After the rally, there were supporters that day.
Some of them stormed the Capitol to stop the constitutionally mandated counting of electoral votes.
As president, you swore an oath to, quote, preserve, protect and defend, unquote, the Constitution.
What do you say to voters who believe that you violated that oath through your actions and inaction on January 6 and worry that you'll do it again?
Well, I don't think too many believe that.
And let me tell you about January 6.
On January 6, we had a great border.
Nobody coming.
January 6, we were energy independent.
On January 6, we had the lowest taxes ever.
We had the lowest regulations ever.
On January 6, we were respected all over the world.
All over the world, we were respected.
And then he comes in and we're now left at.
We're like a bunch of stupid people.
What happened to the United States?
People were laughing at us with him in office too, though.
I think we got laughed at less.
Including weaponization, which I'm sure at some point you'll be talking about, where he goes after his political opponent because he can't beat him fair and square.
That is true.
What Trump does though.
At least last.
What do you say to those voters who believe that you violated your constitutional oath through your actions and inaction on January 6, 2021 and worry that you'll do it again?
Well, I didn't say that to anybody.
I said peacefully and patriotically.
And Nancy Pelosi, if you just watched the news from two days ago, on tape to her daughter, who's a documentary filmmaker, what'd they say?
Filmmaker.
Oh no, it's my responsibility.
I was responsible for this.
Because I offered her 10,000 soldiers or National Guard and she turned them down.
And the mayor of in writing, by the way, the mayor in writing turned it down.
The mayor of of D.C.
They turned it down.
I offered 10,000 because I could see I had virtually nothing to do.
They asked me to go make a speech.
I could see what was happening.
Everybody was saying they're going to be there on January 6.
They're going to be there.
And I said, you know what?
There's a lot of people coming.
You could feel it.
You could feel it too.
And you could feel it.
And I said, they ought to have some National Guard or whatever.
And I offered it to her.
And she now admits that she turned it down.
And it was the same day she was I don't know.
He can't be very happy with the daughter because it made her into a liar.
She said, I take full responsibility for January 6.
President.
Biden.
Look, look, look.
He encouraged those folks to go up on Capitol Hill.
Can you repeat the question?
He sat at the door and walked in his seat for three hours,
three hours watching, begging, being begged
by his wife, President, and the President's colleagues
about how to go to do something.
He's literally making nursing home sounds.
Instead, he talked about these people being
patriots and great patrons of America.
In fact, he says he'll now forgive them
for what they've done.
I'll have the Butterscotch put it.
Please.
Say that no.
He went to every single court in the nation.
He didn't give me my morning medication.
Scores cases, including the Supreme Court.
You think I might pass?
They said, no, no.
This guy is responsible for doing what was done.
He did do a damn thing.
And these people should be in jail.
And they should be the ones who are being held accountable.
And he wants to let them all out.
And now he says that he loses again, such a whiner that he is,
that it could be a bloodbath.
Thank you, President Biden.
President Trump?
What they've done to some people that are so innocent,
you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
What you have done, how you've destroyed
the lives of so many people.
When they ripped down Portland, when
they ripped down many other cities,
you go to Minnesota, Minneapolis,
what they've done there with the fires all over the city.
If I didn't bring in the National Guard,
that city would have been destroyed.
When you look at all of the, they took over big chunks
of Seattle.
I was all set to bring in the National Guard.
They heard that.
They saw them coming.
They left immediately.
What he said about this whole subject
is so off, peacefully patriotic.
One other thing.
The unselected committee, which is basically
two horrible Republicans that are all gone now out of office,
and Democrats, all Democrats, they destroyed and deleted
all of the information they found,
because they found out we were right.
We were right.
And they deleted and destroyed all of the information.
They should go to jail for that.
If a Republican did that, they'd go to jail.
Thank you, President Trump.
President Biden, I want to give you a minute.
The only person in this stage that could make a fevel
is the man I'm looking at right now.
Oh, shit.
What did he say?
He said the only person on this stage
that's a convicted felon is the man I'm looking at right now.
That's actually a pretty cold line.
Did he slur when he said it?
Did he slur?
Yeah.
No.
Because he just kind of, it's like he's
dragging his heels with his speech.
I thought you meant that he called him a slur.
No.
Broke the windows.
Fucking hope he doesn't.
Turned over desk, turned him over statues.
The idea that those people are patriots, come on.
When I asked him the first two debates we had,
the debates we had the first time around,
I said, will you denounce the proud boy?
He said, no, I'll tell them to stand by.
The idea he's refusing to denounce these guys,
we denounce the people we're talking about now,
we denounce the people who attacked that Capitol.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to give you a minute.
Trump's like, what the fuck did you just say?
Literally all Trump has to do is be like,
I can't even follow what you're saying.
You would quote, have every right to go after, unquote,
your political opponents.
You just talked about members of the select committee
on January 6 going to jail.
Your main political opponent is standing
on stage with you tonight.
Can you clarify exactly what it means
about you feeling you have every right
to go after your political opponents?
Well, I said my retribution is going to be success.
We're going to make this country successful again,
because right now it's a failing nation.
My retribution is going to be success.
Biden.
He talks about a convicted felon.
His son is a convicted felon.
Biden said the only person I'm looking at
that's a convicted criminal is you.
And I wanted Trump to.
Now, you said the only person that's a convicted felon
on this stage is the guy I'm looking at.
And Trump just goes.
But he could be a convicted felon
as soon as he gets out of office.
Joe could be a convicted felon
with all of the things that he's done.
He's done horrible things.
All of the death caused at the border,
telling the Ukrainian people
that we're going to want a billion dollars
or you change the prosecutor.
Otherwise, you're not getting a billion dollars.
If I ever said that, that's quid pro quo.
We're not going to do anything.
We're not going to give you a billion dollars
unless you change your prosecutor
having to do with his son.
He said that like it was a fucking Harry Potter spell.
This man's lucky.
You're lucky.
I did nothing wrong.
We'd have a system that was rigged and disgusting.
I did nothing wrong.
Thank you, President Trump.
I did nothing wrong.
I'm coming right to you, sir.
You, well, you want to respond?
Go ahead, I'll give you a minute to respond.
What?
The idea that I did anything wrong
relative to what you're talking about is outrageous.
Outrageous.
How could you say that about me?
The idea that you have a right to speak recognition
against any American just because your president is wrong.
God, they better wrap this thing up
before he starts sundowning.
Holy shit.
He's getting there.
My history has spoken like that before.
Is he starting to get a little bit riled up?
Crimes that you are still charged with.
And think of all the civil penalties you have.
How many billions of dollars do you own civil penalties
for molesting a woman in public,
for doing a whole range of things,
of having sex with a porn star?
And you didn't know your wife was pregnant?
That's sick, dude.
What are you talking about?
You have the morals of an alley cat.
The morals of an alley cat?
I didn't have sex with a porn star, number one.
That was a case that was started and moved,
they moved a high ranking official, a DOJ,
into the Manhattan DA's office to start that case.
That case was going to be appealed in one.
I started a porn, I didn't fuck a porn star.
We had a very terrible judge, a horrible judge.
I did not fuck a porn star.
The prosecutor, we're all high ranking Democrats.
The only one I'm fucking is you.
Both the civil and the criminal.
He basically went after his political opponent
because he thought it was gonna damage me.
But when the public found out about these cases,
because they understand it better than he does,
he has no idea what these cases are.
But when they found out about these cases,
you know what they did?
My poll numbers went up way up, you know that,
because you're reporting it.
And we took in more money in the last two weeks
than we've ever taken in in the history of any campaign.
I don't think any campaign has ever taken.
Hundreds of millions of dollars came pouring in
because the public knows it's a scam
and it's a guy that's after his political opponent
because he can't win fair and square.
Thank you, President Trump.
You have said, quote,
Donald Trump and his MAGA Republicans
are determined to destroy American democracy.
Do you believe that the tens of millions of Americans
who are likely to vote for President Trump
will be voting against American democracy?
The more they know about what he's done, yes.
The more they know about what he's done.
And there's a lot more coming.
He's got a lot of cases down the road coming around.
He's got a whole range of issues he has to face.
I don't know what the juries will do,
but I do know he has a real problem.
And so the fact that,
could you ever think you heard any president say
that I'm gonna seek retribution?
You ever hear any president say that
I thought he had some good ideas?
What got me involved.
Oh, wow.
Name dropping Hitler.
What?
Yeah.
Because Trump said one time,
I think Hitler had some good ideas.
So that's what he was referring to.
No, I think that was Kanye.
I think they're getting him confused with that.
Oh yeah, that Kanye did say that.
Yeah.
Back in Germany.
And what I'm saying is that Germany at one point
had a really good leader.
Really cool leader, my bad.
Really cool guy.
The people who were the ones that got killed,
the one who tried to stop it,
and the ones he said,
I think they're fine people on both sides.
What American president would ever say,
Nazis coming out of fields, carrying torches,
singing the same nanosemitic vile,
carrying swastikas,
or fine people?
And this is a guy who says,
Hitler's done some good things.
I'd like to know what they are.
The good things Hitler's done,
that's what he said.
This guy has no sense of American fathers.
Did you look at that?
President Trump.
Jake, both of you know that story,
has been totally wiped out,
because when you see the sentence,
it said 100% exoneration on this,
so he just keeps it going.
He says he ran because of Charlottesville.
He didn't run because of Charlottesville.
He ran because it was his last chance.
He's not equipped to be president.
You know it.
Look at him.
We have a debate.
That's exactly true.
We're trying to justify his presidency.
His presidency is-
Who's Melton?
Without question, the worst president,
the worst presidency in the history of our country.
We shouldn't be having a debate about it.
There's nothing to debate.
He made up the Charlottesville story,
and you'll see it's debunked all over the place.
Every anchor has, every reasonable anchor,
has debunked it.
And just the other day it came out
where it was fully debunked.
It's a-
A debunked.
A nonsense story.
He knows that, and he didn't run because of Charlottesville.
He used that as an excuse to run.
President Biden.
And debunked.
It happened.
All you have to do is listen to what was said at the time,
and the idea that somehow that's the only reason I ran.
I ran because I was worried a guy like this guy
could get elected.
If he thought they were good people coming out of that
forest carrying those woods, carrying those torches,
then he didn't deserve to be president.
Didn't deserve to be president at all.
And the idea that he's talking about
all this being fabricated,
we saw with our own eyes,
we saw what happened on January 6th.
We saw the people breaking through the windows.
We saw people occupying their-
His own vice president.
Look, there's a reason why
40 of his 44 top cabinet officers
refused to endorse him this time.
His vice president hasn't endorsed him this time.
So why?
Why?
They know him well.
They serve with him.
Why are they not endorsing him?
That's a good point.
Thank you, President Biden.
We're gonna be right back with more-
That is a really good point.
This former vice president, right,
doesn't even support company.
I mean, they hate each other.
Yeah, Hunter Pence is also just a fucking idiot too,
but Mike Pence. Mike Pence, Mike Pence.
Not Hunter Pence.
I think it's fucking, other dude, he's Christ.
So, Ali Bakr, who do you think's winning this debate so far?
I mean, honestly, I will say, you know,
Trump, I think, is winning it,
but that was a pretty cold line he just finished with.
Biden there.
But the thing is, Biden had one cold line,
the rest of his lines were,
I just wish, I just wish Biden, I mean,
I just wish Trump would answer the questions
that he's being asked.
Cause he, I mean, Biden's doing the same thing,
but he's not doing as much as Trump is,
where he's just deflecting and then,
like they just wanna, they wanna keep rebuttaling.
Biden's trying to get some good insults in,
but he just doesn't have the steam
to like make insults anymore.
No, he doesn't.
He's really just gotta answer the questions
and answer them good.
And if you're gonna have her rebuttal, sure, rebuke,
but don't fucking-
It's all about, it's like comedy.
It's all about delivery, right?
Like if you're gonna call Trump,
like, you know, he fucked a porn star.
It is, it's charisma, because you look back,
and I remember the thing they always taught us in school
was like, like fucking Nixon versus JFK.
As soon as they started televising those debates,
like Nixon was in the clear lead there,
and then as soon as they started being televised,
and then like JFK was just so much more clearly put together
and his delivery was better.
And he was more handsome.
And he was more handsome and young.
Oh, did Nixon run against JFK in like 1970 or something?
I don't know the year.
I could have sworn it was those two,
but it was whoever-
It was those two.
Yeah, because it was,
as soon as they started televising,
the polls completely flip-flopped.
Nixon had a huge lead over JFK in the polls.
Yeah, because they could see who's like
gonna be the better leader, not just to read about it.
Yeah, because you need to be able to read body language too,
and right now, honestly, both of them
are pretty fucking shitty.
So if you had to vote, if you had to vote today,
every hockey player was born, ever.
Oh my fucking God.
How are we gonna bring up hockey at a time like this?
If you had to vote today, who would you vote for?
Joe Biden.
Joe Biden, you would vote for Joe Biden?
Oh yeah, absolutely.
No, I'm just fucking with you.
No, I don't think that's true.
Okay.
I'd say Trump, just because I believe
he's more mentally sound.
Did you see the fucking stare-offs that fucking Biden was?
He's just-
Many of our fellow citizens-
Yeah, it's just like,
and you're really gonna trust that guy
who has been fucking struggling his way
through the last four years.
You're telling me he's got another four years in the tank?
No fucking way.
No, shy.
No shy, and I know they're practically the same age,
but it's like, age really is just a number.
You can be a young 78 year old,
or you can be a fucking Jimmy Carter 78 year old.
Just like you can be an old 16 year old.
Jimmy Carter's fucking 100.
I know, I know.
But you see what I'm saying, it's like you,
like if you get fucking dementia at 70,
then sure, like you're fucking,
like somebody else who's 80, who's a sound mind
is gonna fucking wipe the floor with you.
I think Biden actually has dementia.
I don't think he has dementia,
but I think that he's starting to slow down.
Like he's feeling, I don't think that Trump is.
I think he's still all there.
And truth be told, I think there's a really good chance
that if Trump goes in office,
there's a good chance you start to see his mind slip
over the next four years.
Like this is a fucking shiniest of two turds situation
if I've ever seen one.
The thing that I'm saying is that I think that
if I was the left, I would let Trump win
because then he can't run anymore.
I don't know.
And then he would stop being a problem.
Yeah, but then you're just gonna have to fight
with whoever comes up next.
Yeah, but Trump has such a fucking insane fan base.
No, we're back.
Black unemployment dropped to a record low
under your presidency.
Black families still earn far less than white families.
Black mothers are still three times more likely to die
for pregnancy related causes.
And black Americans are imprisoned
at five times the rate of white Americans.
Oh, here we go.
What do you say to black voters who are disappointed
that you haven't made more progress?
I think knowledge has made a lot of progress, number one.
The fact of the matter is there's more small black businesses
that have been started than any time in history.
Number two, the wages of black,
black unemployment is the lowest level of spending
in a long, long time.
Number three, we find in providing housing for black.
Provided black housing.
Exists among these corporate.
What about providing white housing?
I'm poor too.
Oh boy.
Keep people out of their houses.
I think you're housed right now, Tyler, aren't you?
Currently.
You have somewhere to go when you leave here.
Yeah, but I'm fucking struggling.
Black families have to make relative to childcare
is incredibly difficult.
When we did the first major piece of legislation
in the past, I was able to reduce black childcare costs.
I cut them in half.
In half.
You cut black people, kids in half?
You cut black people in half.
Gotta make sure.
No, no, bad, bad.
Bad.
You increase economic growth
because more people can be in the job market.
So there's more to be done, considerably more to be done.
But we've done a great deal so far.
Not yet.
We'll get there.
We've got 49 seconds left.
What do you say to black voters who are disappointed
with the progress so far?
I say I don't blame them for being disappointed.
Inflation is still hurting them badly.
For example, I provided for the idea
that any black family first time homebuyers
should get a $10,000 tax credit.
Wait, what?
To be able to buy their first home
so they can get started.
I made sure that we're in a situation
where all those black families
are the black individuals.
I agree, what?
What?
Yeah, is that a thing?
Can I identify as black?
So if you're black, you just get $10,000 by home.
What the fuck?
That's kind of what you just said.
That's fucked up, man.
After 10 years, millions have benefited.
Why?
And we're gonna do a whole lot more for black families.
Thank you, President Trump.
I don't know enough about the problem
to give a take on that, to be honest.
I know I'm uninformed.
He caused the inflation,
and it's killing black families and Hispanic families
and just about everybody.
It's killing people.
Who really caused the inflation?
They're both blaming each other for causing the inflation.
Isn't that more like, was that more just like
global economies shit?
It's not just us, right?
But the thing is, it's our economy shit
than everyone else's is.
It was perfect, it was so good.
All he had to do was leave it in the sky.
He destroyed it with his Green New scam
and all of the other-
Green New scam?
All this money that's being thrown out the window.
He caused inflation.
As sure as you're sitting there,
the fact is that his big kill on the black people
is the millions of people that he's allowed
to come in through the border.
They're taking black jobs now, and it could be 18,
it could be 19, and even 20 million people.
They're taking black jobs, and they're taking Hispanic jobs,
and you haven't seen it yet,
but you're gonna see something
that's gonna be the worst in our history.
Thank you, President Biden.
Thank you.
There was no inflation when I became president.
You know why?
The economy was flat on its back.
50% unemployment.
He decimated the economy.
Saved our souls.
Decimated the economy.
That's why there was no inflation.
That's how I feel right now.
There were no jobs.
We provided thousands of millions of jobs
for individuals who were in ball communities,
including minority communities.
We made sure that they have health insurance.
We have covered, the ACA has increased.
I made sure that there are $8,000 per person in a family
to get written off for the healthcare,
but this guy wants to eliminate that.
They tried 50 times.
He wants to get rid of the ACA again,
and they're gonna try again if they win.
We find ourselves in a position where the idea
that we're not doing any, I put more,
we put more police on the street
than any administration has.
I was gonna say, what's that one do?
We're supposed to cut the cops.
We're providing for equity,
equity in making sure people have a shot to make it.
There's a lot going on,
and then inflation, he caused it by his tremendous amount.
This is the way to handle the pandemic.
Thank you.
Another persistent challenge is the climate crisis.
2023 was the hottest year in recorded history
in communities across the country
are confronting the devastating effects of extreme heat,
intensifying wildfires, stronger hurricanes,
and rising sea levels.
Former President Trump,
you've vowed to end your opponent's climate initiatives,
but will you take any action as president
to slow the climate crisis?
Let me just go back to what he said about the place.
It's fucking hotter than it used to be.
How close to Germany.
What the fuck are you talking about?
They're talking about climate change.
Oh, I thought you meant like downstairs.
I'm like, I guess.
I don't know, I mean, like, this last week was humid.
And what he's done to the black,
the black population is horrible.
Including the fact that for 10 years,
he called them super predators.
Today was fucking gorgeous though.
In the 1990s, we can't forget that.
Super predators was his name.
And he called it to all.
And they've taken great offense at it.
And now they see it happening.
But when they see what I did for criminal justice reform,
and for the historically black colleges and universities,
well, I funded them and got them all funded.
And the opportunity zones with Tim, as you know,
Tim Scott was incredible.
He did a great job.
Great senator from South Carolina.
Tim Scott, oh my god, fucking motherfucker.
He's such a goofy motherfucker.
I have no idea who the fuck you're talking about.
He ran for president in the Republican Party.
He's the black guy, the bald head.
Oh, that guy?
Yeah, yeah.
Such a goofy motherfucker.
I don't like it.
The best numbers.
He's lost much of the black population
because he's done a horrible job for black people.
He's also done a horrible job for Hispanics.
But when you see these millions of people pouring
into our country, and they're going to take the jobs,
and it's already started, and you haven't seen anything yet,
it's a disaster.
38 seconds left of president's job.
Will you take any action as president
to slow the climate crisis?
So I want absolutely immaculate, clean water.
And I want absolutely clean air.
And we had it.
We had H2O.
We had the best numbers ever.
We had water.
We have no water with Biden in office.
People are dehydrated.
There have been more dead people since Biden has taken office.
There were more dead people now than there
were when I was in office in the past.
We had water.
We don't have water anymore.
These are huge problems, huge.
There are a higher rate of acute kidney failure.
Due to dehydration.
We find ourselves in, by the way, black colleges.
I came up with $15 billion for HBCUs.
What the fuck is a black college?
Yeah, they have black colleges, actually.
They just have colleges for black people.
Biden brought back segregation, question mark?
Segregation equals good, question mark, Biden?
Wow.
We have jobs in high tech.
We're in a situation where the idea that he is
by a claim that has done something that has
put his water in the middle of the middle of nowhere.
He hasn't done a damn thing, but he did it by a claim.
The Irishman's court.
I saw a video of Biden with a 2008 or something.
And he's like, we do it.
He called them apes.
No, he's like, we definitely do not support gay marriage.
It's climate change.
Oh, yeah.
Marriage is between a man and a woman.
Yeah, it's all placating fucking shit.
The Paris Accord was going to cost us a trillion dollars.
But also, in the 1990s, he called black people apes.
And China nothing, and Russia nothing.
He did say some racist things, yeah, back in the day.
It was a ripoff of the United States.
And I ended it because I didn't want to waste that money
because they treated us horribly.
We were the only ones who was costing us money.
Nobody else was paying into it.
And it was a disaster.
But everything that I said just now,
I'll give you an example.
I heard him say before, insulin.
I'm the one that got the insulin down for the seniors.
I took care of the seniors.
What he's doing is destroying all of our medical programs
because the migrants coming in, they want everybody.
And look, I have the biggest heart on the stage.
I guarantee you that.
And I want to take care of people.
I know with my heart of hearts.
More apart, my heart of hearts.
I got the biggest heart of this motherfucker.
I have the biggest heart, the biggest heart,
and a gumption on the stage.
The idea is that in fact, there are people
who are the only ones of consequence.
The fuck that drags this fool.
We're not members of the Paris Accord.
How can we do anything that we've not able to?
You're in the combat scene soon to be former President Biden.
We're making significant progress.
By 2035, we will have cut pollution in half.
We have made significant progress.
And we're continuing to make progress.
We set up a climate corps for thousands of young people
learning how to deal with just like the Peace Corps.
And we're moving in directions that
are going to significantly change the elements of cause
of pollution.
I don't know, Dan.
Dan was thinking that, Dan says Joe Biden's pretty compelling.
He's had some good points.
You know Dan.
He's a sarcastic bastard.
I think that this is fucking really bad on both ends.
Ladies and gentlemen of America, this
is the best we have to offer.
These two fucking, these two fucking idiots.
We need me and Casey on a fucking stage.
And we'll argue back and forth to see who will be the president.
We'll argue as to who you think the shiniest of these two
turds is.
Me and fucking Dan will moderate it.
Just keep giving us questions.
I'll be like, Casey jerked off in a library.
Do you really want him to be a president?
Casey, you have 38 seconds left.
Tyler, Tyler, you cannot use Casey's mic
because we muted yours.
Get back to your stand.
Political debate between me and Tyler.
The president of the podcast.
We should do that next week.
We should have me and Dan prepare questions for you two.
I'm not going to be here next week.
No.
Two weeks from now.
You should write questions.
Two weeks from now I'll do it though.
All right.
Me and Dan can do that.
I'm out of internship in two weeks too.
So I'll be able to keep it going late.
So you still have 82 seconds left.
Yeah, I'm going on vacation.
Good for you.
Are there any other measures that you think
that would be able to help keep Social Security solvent?
Or is that one enough?
I don't know nothing about solvents.
But I do know shit about solutions, my dude.
I took that chemistry in seventh grade.
There's plenty to cut in Social Security.
You want to cut Social Security and Medicare.
Mrs. Fitzgerald, she knew a thing or two
about those chemicals and the solutions.
The House Republican caucus that he supports is in fact.
We have caucuses.
We have fucking Bunsen murders.
We have fucking flasks and shit though.
We're fucking mixing those things up.
We have phosphates and shit.
All different color flames and shit.
Come to St. Louis.
Crazy, dude.
Go crazy.
Don't cry.
All I know is I want Buffalo chicken.
Yeah, but I got some buffalo chicken.
Because they have a pre-existing condition.
The face of existence.
Is the fact that they in fact are part of the ACA.
And by the way, the other thing is, we're in a situation
where we're talking about education.
Biden has been Cincinnati positive
since he stepped on the stage.
Cincinnati positive.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, dude, could you imagine if we just saw Biden's face
slowly start drooping?
$15,000.
Trump should just fucking do with Cincinnati real quick.
Sir, can you please repeat back to me,
you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
You can't teach a new dog the, what was the question?
I've never seen anybody lie like this guy.
He lies.
I've never seen that he could look you in the face.
About so many other things too.
And we mentioned the laptop.
We mentioned Russia, Russia, Russia, Ukraine, Ukraine.
Everything he does is a lie.
It's misinformation and disinformation.
The losers and so-
Big distinction there.
It's information and disinformation.
It's a disgrace.
But social security-
They really fucking hate Joe.
He gives you that misinformation,
but let me tell you, I got disinformation, bitch.
Heal this Biden.
I think normally during the May 2 May start,
they shake hands, right?
They didn't do that.
I don't think they're going to when they end either.
They should have given a little fucking elbow
bumps to one another.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
Fucking COVID handshake.
It's really coming back.
I've never seen such anger-
Tyler's over here watching roses get freeze dried.
What the fuck is going on over there?
I don't know.
This came up.
The brain rot on social media is getting so bad.
I was born to wear this.
That's what he said.
He was the one standing with trash.
That's a dude, Tyler.
And Ty edition.
Fedboy.
It was the chick from Scott Pilgrim.
I've never watched that movie.
Good movie.
Good series, too.
I know.
I fucked up.
We're doing better than any other nation in the world.
And by the way, those 15 Nobel laureates
he talked about being phony, those 15 Nobel laureates,
economists, they all said that if Trump is reelected,
we're likely to have a recession.
And inflation is going to increase and go up.
And by the way, worst president in history,
159 presidential scholars voted him the worst president
in the history of the United States of America.
President Biden, thank you so much.
Let's turn to the cost of child care.
That woman just doesn't age, does she?
No.
President Trump, both you and President Biden
have tried to address this issue.
But the average cost of child care in this country
is $1,000 a year per child for many families.
The cost of child care for two children
is more than their rent.
In your second term, what would you
do to make child care more affordable?
I'd kill all the children.
I thought that was him vermining.
Wow.
We've got to get the population under control.
The children are the solution.
They haven't been alive long.
They'll be susceptible to the manipulation.
We can put them in camps and we'll kill them.
It'll be easy.
I've never seen a fire ready, but I did fire a lot.
I fired Comey because he was no good.
I fired a lot of the top people at the FBI,
drained the swamp.
They were no good.
I drained the swamp.
Not easy to fire people.
You'd pay a price for it.
But they were no good.
I inherited these people.
I didn't put them.
They didn't put Comey there.
He was no good.
I fired him.
This guy hasn't fired anybody.
He never fires.
He should have fired every military man that was involved
with that Afghan, the Afghanistan horror show.
Oh, I've got to hear this.
The most embarrassing moment in the history of our country.
This is what I wanted to hear, to pull out.
Did you fire anybody?
Did you fire anybody that's on the border that's
allowed us to have the worst border in the history
of the world?
Did anybody fire for allowing 18 million people, many
from prisons, many from mental institutions?
He's fucking laying it down right now.
Yeah, he is.
To be destroyed.
Joe, our country is being destroyed as you and I sit up
here and waste a lot of time on this debate.
This shouldn't be a debate.
He is the worst president.
He just said about me because I said it.
But look, he's the worst president
in the history of our country.
He's destroyed our country.
Now all of a sudden, he's trying to get a little tough
on the border.
He came out with a nothing deal.
And it reduced it a little bit.
This is actually a good point Trump just made.
They were talking about he's like, I fucking fired all
the people in the FBI that weren't fucking good.
I fired Comey.
I did all that.
You didn't fire a single person after that fucking botched job
of an Afghanistan pullout.
You didn't fire anybody on the fucking border
when you're letting all those people through,
the criminals coming from prison.
Who said that, Trump?
Trump did, yeah.
That is crazy.
He didn't fucking fire anybody after that.
The most admired country in the world
with the United States of America,
there's nothing beyond our capacity.
We have the finest military in the history of the world.
The finest in the history of the world.
No one thinks we're weak.
No one wants to screw around with us.
With you?
Nobody.
North Korea does.
North Korea.
Russia, China.
Dude, North Korea is just like the honey badger of politics.
They'll just fight anything.
But they're real stupid.
Yeah, they're real stupid.
They're actually going to get killed.
They'll go into a wasp nest and just start eating shit.
They don't give a fuck that they're getting stung.
That's a fact.
That's not conjecture.
He can argue they're wrong, but that's what they voted.
The idea that he is doing anything to deal with child care.
That's certified brain rot right there.
Is that carpet cleaning?
Yeah.
I've spent way too much time watching that shit.
Increase the availability of women.
My ADHD fucking meter is just, I'm like, well,
this has been going on for too long.
Yeah.
To hold, to have child care for so long.
President Trump, the question was about what would you
do to make child care affordable?
I want to take your question.
That issue is in.
That is fucking bitch black.
That they rate them the worst.
You know those fucking things in dirt before they do it.
I'll show you.
I will show you.
And they raped me one of the best.
OK.
I thought they raped me.
They raped me one of the best.
Holy shit.
I got raped so good.
Nobody's ever created an economy like us.
Nobody ever cut taxes like us.
He's the only one I know.
He wants to raise your taxes by four times.
He wants to raise everybody's taxes by four times.
He wants the Trump tax cuts to expire.
So everybody, including the people who are going to pay
four to five times, nobody ever had to do it.
Four to five?
Four to five.
What's four times?
Can I get a six?
Can I get a six times?
We pay, we pay.
Can I get a six?
Oh, can I get a seven?
We got seven times over.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven,
seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven,
seven times the tax raising.
Biden.
Woo.
We already paid 25% in taxes.
Four times that is 100%.
He's like, Biden wants to take your entire paycheck
to work it for nothing.
Biden wants straight up fucking communism.
I mean, we basically have that in New York already.
$2,500 a year more because they're
going to have to pay the difference.
Biden's eyes are open for the first time this entire debate.
Oh my god.
He just showed the pearly blues off.
Biden has not raised, he somehow helped the middle class.
Wow, and he's right back to sleep.
Never seen such a quick flip flop.
That was an absent seizure that we just
witnessed on live television.
Holy shit.
Jesus Christ.
Number one.
Number two, you have not in fact made any contact, any progress
with China.
We are the lowest trade deficit in China since 2010.
You haven't made any contact with China.
You haven't talked to them.
You lost contact with China.
Well, you're not the president.
So I'm just going to be like, well, I'm not the president.
Both of you have made a top priority in your first term,
the opioid crisis.
And for both of you, the number of overdose deaths
in this country has gone up.
Under your term, it went up.
Under your term, it has gone up.
Former President Trump, despite the efforts that both of you
have made, more than 100,000 Americans
are dying from overdoses every year,
primarily from fentanyl and other opioids.
We're going to crack down.
We've got to stop using it.
Right now in the throes of addiction
who are struggling to get the treatment they need.
To finish up, we now have the largest deficit in the world.
Complete disregard of the fucking question.
All right, Biden's lost look is just because he
can't follow Trump anymore.
So I think he's afraid to deal with him or something.
I'll get to that.
Anyways.
Because we bring in so much money.
But there's a thing though.
He says just to finish up.
And it's like he's going to give like a sentence
or two, but the guy ignores it.
Tremendous.
And we saved our steel industries.
And there was more to come.
We're talking about steel industries.
He asked you about the fucking opioid crisis, you dimwit.
There's no answer to the opioid crisis, guys.
Yeah, I don't really think that's either of those guys.
And he's got the worst.
It's just a problem.
Yeah.
With China.
China's going to own us.
You think the president's going to stop that?
To do what they're doing to us as a country.
They only have so much power.
They are killing us as a country, Joe.
And you can't let that happen.
You're destroying our country.
So if I were Biden or Trump, because they both do it,
I would just come back at him with like,
how about you answer the question this guy asks you,
because you seem afraid to.
That's a fucking zinger that either one of these guys
could throw out, and they're staying away from it.
Two and a half, almost three years of like nobody's
ever had before any country in every way.
And then we had to get tough.
And it was the drugs pouring across the border.
OK, he's finally answering it.
It started to increase.
We got weight equipment.
It's all about the border.
How do you solve the opioid epidemic?
Well, I mean, half of the opioids in America
come from Mexico.
And we had more than half of them.
Very low numbers, very, very low numbers.
Then he came along.
The numbers, have you seen the numbers now?
It's not only the 18 million people
that I believe is even low, because the gotaways,
they don't even talk about gotaways.
But the numbers of the amount of drugs and human traffic
in women coming across our border, the worst thing
I've ever seen, numbers that nobody's ever
seen under him, because the border's so bad.
But the number of drugs coming across our border
now is the largest we've ever had by far.
President Trump, thank you.
President Biden?
Fentanyl and the byproducts of fentanyl
went down for a while.
Fent.
And I want to make sure we use the machinery that
can detect fentanyl.
Damn bro, I do fent.
It rolls over everything that comes across the border.
Call me fucking Fentywop.
And it costs a lot of money.
Fentywop.
That was part of this deal we put together,
this bipartisan deal.
More fentanyl machines, more being able to detect drugs,
more numbers of agents, more numbers of all the people
at the border.
Oh, people at the border.
When he called his Republican colleagues and said,
don't do it, it's going to hurt me politically.
Politically?
He can't even.
Can somebody get this guy a bottle of water?
Jesus Christ.
Politically.
Mexico is working with us to make sure they don't have
the technology to be able to put it together.
He's just giving away all his money.
He's breathing away all the fucking H2O in his body
right now.
I need help.
Americans in the throes of addiction right now struggling
to get the treatment they need.
The question is this.
He sounds like he just got finished eating a loaf of bread.
I made a catch and release.
I made a catch and release in Mexico, not catch and release
here.
There's like one milliliter of fucking water
in his entire mouth.
I got it all for nothing.
It's just like when you have a hostage,
we always pay $6 billion for every time we say there's
a hostage.
Now we have a hostage, a Wall Street Journal reporter.
I think a good guy.
And he's over there because Putin is over there.
Biden's got to stop looking down because he looks 10 years
older every time he does it.
I will have him out.
What's he looking at right now?
His hands?
As soon as I take office, before I take office, I say,
Where am I?
What the fuck am I doing right now?
Wait, they're asking me questions?
I'm the president?
But Putin's probably asking for billions and billions of dollars
because this guy paid for every day.
Who is Trump talking about?
Oh my god, did he say my name?
$6 billion for five people.
You're still in the fucking carpet video?
Holy shit.
No, now we're on to the bottom of it, though.
Oh.
Thank you, President Trump, Dana.
Let's turn to concerns that voters have.
Thank you, President Trump.
Oh, what was that?
President Biden, you would be 86 at the end of your second term.
These fucking mediators are just as clueless
as the fucking former president and the soon-to-other
B-former president.
They're just calling him old.
Well, first of all, I think that I could be being critical.
They should just ask both of them,
do you think you will be alive in four years?
How is your health right now?
Biden, are you OK?
You look like you're having a TIA.
Look at what I've done.
Biden, we're hearing from upstairs that we're hearing
from the CNN team that the medical team would
like to evaluate you.
You look like you're having a TIA.
Billions of dollars in private investment in enterprises.
We are going.
By the way, we brought an awful lot of people.
The whole idea of computer chips,
we used to have 40% of the market.
We invented those chips.
And we lost it because he was sending people
to find the cheapest jobs overseas.
I'm being dead serious.
It pains me to listen to Biden because I just
want to give him a glass of water.
I really do.
Thank you, pity the guy.
His voice is like nails on a chalkboard.
It's like fucking help him out a little bit.
You also feel bad.
You're just like, god, someone help this guy.
I just picture his fucking vocal cords with zero fucking
moisture whatsoever just flapping together
every time he talks.
President Biden, you have 40 seconds left.
Would you like to add anything?
I would.
The idea that somehow we are in a very big country.
I've never heard a president talk like this before.
We're the envy of the world.
We're the only major country in the world
that wouldn't trade places with the United States of America.
All our problems in America are the most progressive country
in the world.
This is the worst political commentary.
The strongest country in the world.
The country in the world who keeps on going.
This is bad.
Everybody trusts all of our allies.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Untitled podcast
where you hear two fucking jagaloons that
know nothing about politics commentate
on the health of the two presidential candidates.
And then Tyler, I mean Casey, who knows what he's talking about
remains primarily silent.
What do you say to voters who have concerns
about your capabilities to serve?
Well, I took two tests, cognitive tests.
I aced him.
He took none.
I'd like to see him take one.
I'd like to see him take it.
Like go through the first five words.
He'd get lost on the way to it.
He's got facial droop on the left.
Physical examiner.
Facial droop.
That's a smug smile.
We knock on wood wherever we may have wood.
Not even senior.
Two regular club championships.
To do that, you have to be quite smart,
and you have to be able to hit the ball a long way.
And I do it here.
I could feel the bone dry air leave Joe Biden's lungs
on that fake left.
I feel like I'm in very good shape.
I feel like I'm in good shape as I was 25, 30 years ago.
Fucking cobweb blows out of his mouth.
I feel very good.
I feel the same.
But I was willing to take it.
He's just a skeleton.
You know what?
If I didn't do well, I aced him.
Dr. Ronny Jackson, who's a great guy when
he was White House doctor.
And then after the doctorate, I was similar.
Dr. Ronny Jackson.
One of them said they'd never seen anybody.
Aced him.
Thank you.
We're like, yeah, sure.
All right, thanks, Trump.
On to the next one.
I was 25 pounds.
Well, you said 6'4", 200.
Well, anyway, that's what you're thinking.
Let's take a look at what he says he is.
Take a look at what he is.
Look, I'd be happy to have a driving contest with him.
The ream I got.
Let's get a fucking.
No!
That's a fucking.
That's a Biden versus Trump down park.
That's a presidential race I can get behind, man.
Hell yeah, baby!
I would say whoever wins gets to be president.
See what the fucking drag strip Trump.
That was a handicap.
Fucking fast and furious, this shit.
Oh, they're talking about driving like golf.
Let's not act like children.
To a specific concern that voters have about you,
will you pledge tonight that once all legal challenges have
been exhausted, that you will accept the results of this
election, regardless of who wins,
and you will say right now that political violence in any form
is unacceptable?
Well, I shouldn't have to say that,
but of course I believe that.
It's totally unacceptable.
Oh, he answered it.
And if you would see my statements
that I made on Twitter at the time, and also my statement
that I made on Twitter, you would
place one of the strongest statements you've ever seen.
In addition to the speech I made,
in front of, I believe, the largest crowd I've ever spoken
to, and I will tell you, nobody ever talks about that.
He should let the mediators butt in and fact check him.
A relatively small number of people
that went to the Capitol, and in many cases,
were ushered in by the police.
And as Nancy Pelosi said, it was her responsibility, not mine.
She said that loud and clear.
The whole answer is, if the election is fair, free,
and I want that more than anybody,
and I'll tell you something, I wish you was a great president,
because I wouldn't be here right now.
I'd be at one of my many places enjoying myself.
I wouldn't be under indictment, because I
wouldn't have been his political opponent.
Because he indicted me, because I was his opponent.
I wish he was a great president.
I would rather have that.
I wouldn't be here.
I don't mind being here.
But the only reason I'm here is he's so bad as a president,
that I'm going to make America great again.
Yo!
Murder!
We're a seriously failing nation.
And we're a failing nation because of him.
His policies are so bad.
So bad.
His military policies are insane.
They're insane.
These wars that will never end with him.
Insane.
Unbelievable.
He will drive us into World War III.
And we're closer to World War III than anybody can imagine.
We are very, very close to World War III.
And he's driving us there.
And Kim Jong-un.
It's actually inevitable.
And President Xi of China, Kim Jong-un of North Korea,
all of these, Putin, they don't respect him.
They don't fear him.
We're in a finite space but with infinite time, KC.
And he's going to drive us into World War III.
He said if we're in a finite universe with infinite time,
there's going to have to be another World War.
Right.
Putin said, do what you want, NATO.
There's no way we couldn't.
There's infinite time.
There will be another World War.
It might not even be humans.
It might be fucking dogs when they
become the next dominant species on the planet.
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
You'll find your leader in the world
who wouldn't trade places with what job I've done
and what they've done.
Because we are a powerful nation.
We have wonderful peace because of the people, not me.
It's because of the American people.
Dude, you can just hear every little fucking movement
in his mouth.
We need it to protect the world because our own safety
is at stake.
And again, you want to have a war,
just let Putin go ahead and take care of it.
If I took six bong rips in a row,
I would have less cotton mouth than Joe Biden right now.
President Trump, as I come back to you for a follow up,
I can hear every muscle in his tongue.
Will you accept the results of this election,
regardless of who wins?
Just to finish what he said, if I might.
Once again, disregard the question.
They took a lot of land from Bush.
They took a lot of land from Obama and Biden.
They took no land, nothing, from Trump, nothing.
He knew not to do it.
Talking about himself in the third person.
Interesting.
He knew not to play games.
He knew nothing from me.
But now he's going to take the whole thing from this man
right here.
That's a war that should have never started.
It would have never started.
Somebody's got to take fucking Biden's lungs
and just run a swiffer over him.
Clear the fucking dust out.
You know, you asked me a question before.
Would you do this with me?
He's got a such a bad position right now.
That's what the inside of Joe Biden's lung tissue
looks like, a filthy fucking carpet.
He said, I will never settle until such time.
They're running out of people.
They're running out of soldiers.
They've lost so many people.
It's so sad.
They've lost so many people.
And they've lost those gorgeous cities
with the golden domes that are 1,000 years old.
McDonald's?
Golden arches?
Russia would have never attacked.
President Trump, the question was,
will you accept the results of the election,
regardless of who wins, yes or no, please?
If it's a fair and legal and good election, absolutely.
So in other words, no.
I'll accept it if I win.
Everything else was ridiculous.
And if you want, we'll have a news conference on it in a week.
I will have another one of these in a week.
But I will absolutely, there's nothing I'd rather do.
It would be much easier for me to do that
than I'm running again.
I wasn't really going to run until I
saw the horrible job he did.
That's not true.
That's a false.
That's a fucking lie.
In a nice location someplace.
And again, no indictments, no political opponents,
any location, not where I'm going to get nuked when
this fucking jam-moke starts World War III
and gets me fucking nuked.
Because the people understand it.
Let's see what your numbers are when this election is over.
Let's see.
You're a whiner.
Excuse me.
I'm waiting for him to take a step back and just.
State or local, none.
He's going to go into respiratory arrest.
Get this man some fucking.
Representation.
Oxygen with fucking.
There's no evidence of that at all.
Some fucking water vapor in it.
This guy is a fucking Levo drip.
Strapped to his back right now that you can't see through his suit.
Keeping him alive right now.
We'll be right back with more from the CNN presidential debate
live from Georgia.
My lord.
Wow.
Damn.
This is going not good for Biden.
What the fuck is that noise?
Oh.
I thought this was supposed to be 90 minutes.
It is past 90 minutes now.
They're just trying to get them to answer the questions they're asking.
And they've made it through three of the 45 they wanted to ask.
Every time it'll be like, Mr. Trump, what is your stance on border control?
Wait one minute.
I just want to hear.
I just got to respond to what he just said real quick.
And I'm also not going to answer what you just asked.
He's got a stupid face.
Real stupid, actually.
Don't like it.
Very ugly.
You see how old this guy is?
He can't even draw a breath.
He can't even draw a breath in.
Shit.
I know you asked me a question, but I think I'm just going to insult his character instead.
It's way easier.
Way, way easier.
He's such an easy target.
He doesn't even know what I'm saying.
His hearing aids died a half hour ago.
We're doing great.
All I had to do was show up.
What's up?
Playing assassins?
Breathe again.
Please tell me you're playing the retro ones.
That's a hard question to answer.
OK, good.
Good, good, good, good, good.
If you're like, I'm playing assassins Creed Odyssey,
I was going to fucking hop in my car and drive home drunk.
So if you were watching this debate as someone who was undecided,
who do you think would be the better candidate?
I would decide to start the process to get my passport, Casey.
Yeah.
Get the fuck out of here.
Oh, my God.
This is bad.
This is bad for Biden.
This is bad for America, man.
I thought it was going to be bad.
I didn't think it was going to be this bad.
I mean, in all fairness, we have been talking over these clowns
the entire fucking time, though.
Yeah, but if you just listen to what he's saying, it's just bad.
You know, I'll give Biden credit for actually answering
the questions he's being asked.
He's pulling that shit that fucking Trump is doing way less.
I'm just surprised he showed up and was able to stand.
Yeah. Who was that president that had polio?
Those are too big. FDR.
People feel good.
Yeah, well, that's that's what we're looking at now.
Here comes the sun.
Stream now on the free CBS News app.
Oh, my God. Hey, dude, every time I fucking look at anything politics related,
I just get so scared.
That's why this is. Yeah.
Like, dude, ignorance is really bliss at this point.
It's just like just watch hockey.
Just watch hockey and just understand that the bombs are going to drop.
Some I know I say World War Three is coming a lot,
but like we're actually close to it now with with Putin and fucking Kim Jong.
You see, we are.
We've been wait there.
They're allied now. Yeah, they just had a like a meeting.
They were like, but what is, you know, they're like, oh, Russia and North Korea
will defend each other if anyone if they get attacked.
Yeah, it's just fucking the same thing where it's like is, oh, fucking America.
If anybody attacks us, we'll.
Yeah, it's just yeah, that doesn't scare me, too.
I mean, it's I mean, it just shows you how fucking low.
They're saying like Kim Jong wants a war now and we're back.
Dude, Kim Jong Un has always wanted a war.
He doesn't give a fuck if he gets nuked.
He doesn't care about his country.
He's upset about a small penis.
He's mentally unstable, way worse than me.
Fucking Putin or fucking Biden or Tyler or Tyler.
Yeah, if we put you in charge of North Korea, you would do a better job.
I don't know. I don't know.
You might let it get to your head.
You might just be like the same thing.
I'll fucking nuke anybody.
I had a single penny increase in taxes.
And if I'm reelected, that'll be the case again.
But this guy is has increased your taxes because of the deficit.
Number one, he's increased inflation because.
Joe, you had a 90 second commercial break and you didn't walk off stage.
You get a bottle of water.
Somebody get this guy a bottle of this sunny.
Holy fuck.
This sunny get him full in spring.
Be a fucking actual human.
Well, for example, he wants to go to a room with.
VG.
The ability of smart water.
For me, I think I understand why they can't give him a glass of water
because he needs it at minimum nectar thick.
He can't. He's going to choke if you give him a bottle of water.
And put in thick water instead of four hundred dollars. Thick water tastes disgusting.
That might be it.
You might just be fighting off fucking aspiration from the bottom.
Know what that did? Fucking hell.
Reduced the federal debt debt by one hundred and sixty billion dollars
over 10 years because the government doesn't have to pay the exorbitant prices.
I'm going to make that available to every senior.
All all the problems happening now and everybody in America.
He wants to get rid of that.
We have I'm going to make sure we have child care.
We're going to significantly increase the credit people have for child care.
I'm going to make sure we do something about what we're doing on
lead pipes and all the things that are causing health problems.
Lead pipes. Casey, can we get the sound clip of fucking pipes dropping occasionally?
Is that still a thing about President Trump?
Yeah, some places your closing statement.
Like so many politicians, this man is just a complainer.
He said, we want to do this.
We want to do that.
We want to get rid of this tax, that tax.
But he doesn't do anything.
He doesn't do all he does is make our country.
God, we are so fucked.
Millions and millions of people to pour in.
Our military doesn't respect him.
We look like fools in Afghanistan.
We didn't stop Israel.
It was such a horrible thing that would have never happened.
It should have never happened.
Iran was broke.
Anybody that did business with Iran, including China,
they couldn't do business with the United States.
They all passed. Iran was broke.
They had no money for Hamas or Hezbollah for terror.
No money whatsoever.
Again, Ukraine should have never happened.
I saw that little bitch.
That little bitch.
Fuck Russia. Yeah, don't funny yourself.
We have the Palestinians and we have everybody else rioting all over the place.
You talk about Charlottesville.
This is a hundred times Charlottesville, a thousand times.
The whole country is exploding because of you, because they don't respect you.
And they have to respect their president and they don't respect you throughout the world.
What we did was incredible.
We rebuilt the military.
We got the largest tax cut in history, the largest regulation cut in history.
The reason he's got jobs is because I cut the regulations that gave jobs.
But he's putting a lot of those regulations back on.
Casey, what do you vote for?
We've done nobody's ever.
I'm honest to God.
Who do you vote if you had to?
Because I know you're like, I'm not going to vote.
I'm going to vote Green Party instead of going to go for Robert F.
Kennedy, Jr. OK, sure.
But if you had to vote for one of these two.
One of these two?
Yeah, I want the answer.
That's a hard one.
You have a gun to your head.
But you know what we did for the military?
I would think that you would vote for Trump just because you're thinking about your Robin Hood account.
You know, I was just going to say crypto would go up, so I might vote for Trump.
I might get a return investment on my Ethereum.
I might get fucking rich off of Shiva.
So all of these things, we're in a failing nation.
But it's not going to be failing anymore.
We're going to make it great again.
It's like Biden is not President Trump anymore.
President Biden, stay with us because we have bullet
outs of this debate.
All right, so they're done.
And Aaron Burnett starts now on CNN.
Oh, thank God. All right.
Can we take a break?
That was rough.
I think a break first.
I want to vote. Who do you think won that debate?
And so the first presidential debate of the Trump.
But they both sucked.
They did both suck.
I think Trump definitely won the debate.
Trump won the debate, Biden was definitely worse.
And from like an entertainment perspective,
I will admit that the Trump Hillary Clinton debates was the funniest thing.
Yeah, I think I think that this was not as good quality television.
Well, fucking at least Hillary Clinton could like come back with shit.
Biden just goes.
Yeah, but Hillary Clinton was also just like such a fucking witch that like
it was just like it was kind of funny to watch.
Dude, I was a fucking like big Democrat during that election.
And when I watched the debates, I remember I was like,
I was fucking like, man, I was trying to make myself believe
Hillary was winning the debates and I was like,
oh, my God, I actually like really don't like her.
And wow, like Trump is just fucking laying into it.
And most of the shitty saying is the best thing was he's like,
but I'd be in jail.
Yeah, it was just the whole emails and Benghazi and all that.
It was just like, dude, fucking Hillary had nothing to come back with.
She was just standing there in her fucking pants suit, looking like she just
crawled out of a fucking sleep, like a sensory deprivation chamber,
just got her orders from Satan himself.
I don't know. She's a fucking demon dude.
All right, we'll be right back on Untitled Podcast.
You could take great.
Welcome back to the show.
Welcome back to Untitled Podcast.
We're here with Dan and Mother Dan.
Dan. Welcome, Dan.
I'm also Dan. Dan.
Dan number one. My middle name is Dan.
So is it? Yeah, Daniel.
No, what's your middle name?
Alan Mack. Let me guess.
Daniel? Alex?
Jonathan.
Patrick G.
Alex? George.
Giovanni.
George.
Gay. Gay Lord.
Scott Irish. Gay Lord.
Yeah, all right. Gaylig?
Not Gaylig. Not Gaylig.
It's not a Scott Irish name, but it's not.
Why did you say Scott Irish?
I mean, I guess it could be.
It might be for all.
Geralt of Gawrsh.
Dude, you got a baller mustache.
Thank you. It's fucking awesome.
I'm trying to grow a mustache.
It's Gabriel. Gabriel.
You should have said angel.
Yeah, you could have said angel.
Oh, Christ. Yeah.
We're Catholic.
Alex Gabriel.
What's your middle?
What's your middle name, Casey?
What do you think it is?
We're just giving away personal information.
We're not doing a hot start here.
We're like, he seems like a Kyle.
Dan, what's your first pet's name?
My first pet's name?
What's the last one?
I don't know what you're doing here.
What's your mother's maiden name?
You know, I'm actually starting to think
we've talked about middle names in the pocket.
I'm pretty sure it has game up.
No, but what is your name?
My name is Ryan.
Ryan?
Yeah. That's weird.
I mean, that's pretty.
I'm just calling you Tye Dan.
Ten most common names.
My parents would call him fucking Tye Dan.
Tye Dan, I love it.
But my parents literally named me Daniel after my dad.
My dad's former football coach who killed himself.
He was a great guy, but dead.
It turned out pretty dark.
Yeah, but it ended up making my initials.
Wow, he really split the bottom of the tender.
He's never this guy, he's fucking dead.
Yeah, but I'm named after Dan.
But my initials ended up being TD for touchdown.
And my dad who got paralyzed right before I was born
because he was a super football player and stuff,
when the news asked him what was the name,
he goes, well, Tyler's my final touchdown.
And I go, oh, dad.
Oh, pa, pa.
You don't have to go saying that.
So Dan, what's your middle name?
James.
James?
Yeah, I had to think about it.
DJ.
Take a second.
Yeah, what is your middle name?
My initials are D-E-F.
D-E-F.
Like D-E-F.
Is your middle name exhaust?
Exactly.
Exactly like that.
Artist.
No, more normal than that.
Edward?
Yeah, there you go.
Took two tries.
I was gonna say Eric.
That's a weird middle name though.
So Dan and Dan, what'd you think of the debate?
Who'd you think won the debate?
I mean.
I mean, it's kinda clear who won the debate.
Someone spoke in cohesion and someone else kinda didn't.
Well, we already knew that was gonna happen
from the start, right?
He looked like a walking corpse, dude.
He is a walking corpse.
This man has been Cincinnati positive
since he walked on the stage.
His slurred speech, he was just,
it was just like a kid who's dragging their feet,
but it was just his words.
He wouldn't finish one before he'd start the next.
Hold your arms up like this and close your eyes, Joe.
Yeah.
Every time he's talking, he's just like.
Let me have mine.
He looks like a stage four cancer patient.
He was just like.
Uh oh.
He was just like, every time he was done talking though,
he would just look over at Trumps and they're like.
You good?
Yeah.
The best is he'd do that and then he'd just go like this.
Yeah, he's like.
And then he looked down and it was just like.
Yeah, and then he took it.
I wonder if he had an earpiece in
and the whole time he would just zone out.
They would just be shouting.
Boom!
Joe!
His fucking neural link is just screaming his brain.
Yep.
Joe, you gotta wake up.
Don't go to the light.
They got a little shock watch on him.
They've got one of those shock watches on him
that's Bluetooth, someone was just fucking
just zapping him the whole time.
Like, wait the fuck up.
Like, there's a teleprompter in the back of the room.
He's like.
And then he was like.
I don't know about the question, but.
He's getting all.
He's getting.
Dan, what are your opinions on shock collars?
I don't appreciate that.
I just pulled one under your ass and showed it to me like that.
That was really sketchy.
My opinion right now is please stay away.
My opinion in general is I killed a rooster with one.
That's.
What?
You killed a rooster with a shock collar?
I killed a rooster with a shock collar.
So we had a rooster when I was growing up.
That crowed at three in the goddamn morning.
So we bought a shock collar and we put it on this rooster.
Worked great like the first couple nights.
What were you trying to discourage it from doing?
Crowing.
Oh, gotcha.
Crowing.
And then it just.
And then one day he kicked it and it moved.
And so we're like, all right, let's tighten this
so he can't move it.
Well, he kicked it again and he moved it
and it suffocated him to death.
Oh my god.
So we got out there the next morning.
He's just laying there on the ground.
Just fucking dead as a door now.
And we're like, ah.
Shit.
Damn.
I thought you like literally like.
He just shocked it.
Just held it down.
Until he started smoking it.
It smelled like chicken.
I just picture you sitting in a chair like this.
Like zap.
Zap.
This fucker keeps crowing.
We missed it.
We had a turkey.
Fucking cranking the dial up.
We had a turkey last fall.
And that thing was an asshole.
It would just go up and peck you and kick you for no reason.
So my father and I, every time we went out into the yard,
we carried a broomstick with no broom head on it.
And we would just take it and he would.
He would get some bad fire.
Whack across the head this turkey.
And we would knock it out for like a good few minutes.
And we'd be like, well, if it gets up,
then it lives another day.
If it doesn't, then we cook it.
So the first.
It's a win-win.
Yeah.
My first encounter with it, it comes at me.
I'm sitting there in a lawn chair like I am.
And it comes over.
I'm holding the stick.
And I'm like, oh, hey.
Flop.
Right square on its head.
And he's like, normally I swipe sideways.
And you're swiping vertically.
I'm like, more force.
You might break its neck.
You know?
It's got to.
You got to.
It's used to sideways.
You got to bother it.
And then one day, my father hits it while I was at work.
And then my mother is like, the turkey's not moving.
He's like, ah, it'll get up.
It'll get up.
It always gets up.
It didn't get up.
And you just cooked it.
So we got good.
We gave it too much brain bleed and too much CTE, I guess.
And it had a brain bleed.
It fucking died.
And then, yeah, so that was our turkey.
All right.
So beat with a stick.
Topic.
Hold up.
Feedback.
All right, we're back.
We had a little feedback issue.
Listen, if you don't like the issues, feedback.
Then fuck off.
The show sucks.
Just don't watch it.
Why are you here?
There's literally thousands of other podcasts
you can listen to.
You can listen to Joe Rogan, a professional podcast.
Right.
You're listening to this.
You made it however many episodes.
We have a title.
And it's been going on since the start.
Why are you still here?
I actually like thinking about your life.
Right.
This should be a red flag in your life, actually.
You're clearly shown that we are incapable of improvement here.
So like, just fucking.
That should be our title.
Go elsewhere.
No step on SNECK.
So Tyler, what do you say?
Please don't listen to this podcast.
So there's been a trend of a thing called bug catching,
if any of you guys ever heard of it.
It's a.
Is it when you catch bugs?
You try to get STDs and give it to other people.
What the fuck are you talking about?
That's a thing.
Look it up.
Bug catching.
That's an actual thing.
I don't want to look at that.
That sounds like something that shouldn't
be in my Google search retrieved.
That really just does.
You try to spread STDs?
Yeah, they try to spread STDs.
Am I on a few watch lists, chief?
I don't need to ban another one.
Some people have a terminal illness,
so they try to catch every single STD
so they can give it to more people.
Wow.
That is horrible.
They're just like, I'm just going to take everything out.
They're taking everything.
They hit nihilism, and they're like,
I'm taking everyone with me type thing.
Be like, yeah.
Yeah, that chick's got crabs.
Don't know who gave it to her.
You don't want to touch her with a 10-foot pole, dude.
Stay away from her.
That's why we still have STDs.
If people with STDs that were uncurable just stop fucking,
then the STDs would go away.
So are we for executing people with STDs?
No.
Only the uncurable ones.
Dude, this bitch tried to give me fucking herpes.
Tried to.
Did I ever tell that story?
No.
The thing about herpes, though, is
that it doesn't really do anything
as far as health problems.
So it's just kind of just there.
And everybody has a strain of it from the day you're born.
It's just either activated or dormant.
Most people, yeah.
Like cold sores.
Yeah, cold sores.
Yeah, everyone has it.
I used to get cold sores when I was a kid all the time,
but I would fucking lick the side of my lip
during the wintertime, and I would just
activate fucking cold sores.
Yeah.
It's like, technically, it's a form of herpes.
It's just dormant.
It's not doing anything.
Aside from that, when it flares up, what?
How many other years has you had it?
I haven't had it in like fucking 10, 15 years.
Exactly.
Yeah, I actually get them.
I get them like a couple times a year.
Really?
Herpes, really?
Fucking hell.
It was only during wintertime.
I get like the tiniest little pimples.
Everybody says everybody has.
I get like the tiniest little pimples.
The stigma.
I don't know.
Maybe you guys can enlighten me.
I get the tiniest little small pimples
on the very corners of my lip, and I'm like, is that my face?
No.
Is that my face or is that my lip?
Or you've got like a very damn near surface level canker sore?
Yeah.
Because canker sores and cold sores are different.
It comes to a white head.
That's a canker sore.
Yeah, I'm in the clear.
I do not have herpes.
Yeah, no.
I've never had a cold sore.
Really?
No, I've never had a cold sore.
I've had canker sores fucking galore.
I found out Toradol.
That gives me canker sores out the fucking ass, bro.
My entire mouth was just riddled with them.
And I'm like, all right.
Did you say Toradol?
Toradol.
Can't have Toradol.
I literally had, I googled the side effects of Toradol.
So you got Trenchmouth from fucking Toradol?
Literally.
No shit.
I fucking googled the side effects,
and it's like, holy shit, I have three of these.
I had fucking canker sores.
I don't remember what the other two were,
but I'm like, these are, and canker sores
was a major side effect.
I'm like, all right, no more of that for me.
I only had, like the only medication side effect
that I had besides suicidal ideations was I
had, there was one, it was amoxicillin.
I had some sort of infection.
And they were giving me an IV.
And literally, I looked down after 15 minutes,
and my arm was just fucking puffed up like this.
I had a huge rash.
And I was just going, nurse, nurse, nurse.
Help me, please.
Is the IV infiltrate?
It might have, but it puffed up, and then I had a rash all up
and down.
Probably allergic to cillins, I'm guessing.
Yeah.
That's what it sounds like.
Because my mom is allergic to penicillin,
and my dad's allergic to amoxicillin.
So they just said one or the other, pick one,
and they'll just give it to you.
So they took a gamble, and they lost.
Yeah, they took a gamble and lost.
But penicillin was fine.
That's kind of what they do, right?
Yeah, it is really what it is.
It's called practicing medicine for a reason.
Practicing.
I'm you.
Yeah.
The only medication I ever had a reaction with
was fucking doxycycline when I fucking got bit by a tick
when I was landscaping.
And it made me so hypersensitive to the sun.
I had to wear long sleep.
I was wearing a fucking hoodie, and it was like 95 degrees
out with humidity.
I'm mowing lawns.
I'm fucking almost passing out.
Because if I take it off, I feel like I'm
burning the second I took my shirt off, and I was.
I fucking got blisters on my shoulders through a shirt
when I fucking was on doxy.
And I was like, I can never take that again.
Holy shit.
Sounds like me on a regular basis.
Just hates the sun.
My coworkers would fucking make fun of me so bad to be like,
oh my god, look at this guy.
He looks like a fucking.
They were saying I look like the fucking stay puffed guy.
It was so covered up in shit.
Oh my god.
So shoveling mulch.
I'm feeling light headed.
What the fuck?
So stop me if I told the story, but I was prescribed a.
I was on focalin when I was a kid for ADHD,
and then they had this experimental patch
that you could get.
So I got this experimental patch, and they're like, hey,
tell us if you feel weird or anything after two weeks.
So this is a really funny story.
I've never been suicidal except when I was on this.
But it was really funny as a joke that I'm not dead.
But I went home one day after school, and I made a list.
And it was like, do my laundry.
Clean my room.
Try to hang self.
And then I had things after hang self, which I thought
was the funniest part where it's just like,
it's just a hang self question mark attempt.
But I went in my closet.
We're probably going to be unsuccessful,
so let's just keep going.
Don't know how to hang myself.
So I'm just going to keep on going.
I went into my closet, and I wrapped a belt around
the fucking pole that you hang coats on and stuff.
And I'm like, well, I'm going to do it.
And I jumped off, and then the pole broke.
It just smacked me in my head.
And then I'm like, I just looked up
after I got fucking smacked in the head.
I'm like, did I just try to fucking kill myself?
Jesus.
Now you're mad, confused.
I was 13, 14, something like that.
But then I went to the doctor's, and they're like,
so have you had any weird side effects with this?
And I'm like, well, I tried to hang myself.
They're like, yeah, we're going to take this.
We're going to take you off this.
All right.
They tried something else.
I'm hanging myself on the closet pole in my room there.
But the pole hitting me was like a come to Jesus moment.
And I'm like, did I just fucking try to hang myself?
You're like, knock sense into me.
They get knock sense into me.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Did I just try to fucking hang myself?
My fucking doctor upped my Adderall by an insane amount.
That gave me auditory and visual hallucinations.
But it was by way of insomnia and staying awake for essentially
five days straight.
I just wasn't sleeping.
I was laying down in bed and trying to sleep.
But I remember I went upstairs, and my friends
were having a party.
And it was like, I don't want to be part of this.
I'm like, I'm freaking the fuck out right now.
I'm freaking out, man.
I'm going to go for a walk.
And it was at night.
And this was when I was dealing with the fucking ear infection
I had too, where I couldn't hear.
Oh, yeah.
So you thought you were deaf?
So I was deaf.
And it was making the auditory hallucination so much worse.
Because when your brain has silence, it tries to fill it in.
You get that when you haven't slept in 24 hours.
When you go to bed and you just hear a crowd or something.
It's just white noise for the most part.
But it's like five days stacked on top of that
while you're conscious and awake.
And it was just like, oh, so I heard voices.
And they weren't talking to me.
They were just like, oh, hey.
Those are just the voices in your head.
And then I'd see shadow people crossing the street.
And I was like, why did I think walking at night was a good idea?
And it didn't start.
It ramped up over time throughout the walk.
When it got to its peak, when I was like, I need to turn around,
I was like a mile away from my house at that point.
It was like, there's no quick as a shadow.
For listeners at home, Ali Mack is deaf in one ear,
if we didn't know that.
I think that's probably been established at this point.
If we had a camera, you would be able to see that.
Yeah, he's deaf in one ear.
So he did have an ear infection that made him basically just
deaf deaf for a little bit.
And that's why that was such a hit.
I was training to be a dispatcher at my job,
which as you can imagine, would be kind of problematic.
There was some pretty dicey days.
This guy's fucking deaf.
What, are you getting stabbed or are you sad?
Ma'am, I know you've given me the number three times.
I just got to have, I know there's an emergency,
but I got to get the number in before I can put the details.
All right.
I get that they don't have a pulse.
Just what, five, one, eight, three, seven?
Oh, okay.
What's going on there?
I'll get you someone.
Threave.
You should have just acted a little,
thrown in a little accent.
They're saying that Biden had a cold.
Oh, that's it.
Babbling and hoarse, Biden's debate performance
sends Democrats into a panic.
Yeah, hoarse is a fucking understatement.
That guy was struggling for air.
He had a weak and raspy voice.
The 81-year-old struggled even to talk,
mostly something in a weak, raspy voice.
The opening minutes, the president repeatedly
tripped over his words, misspoke and lost train of thought.
Almost as if that's his normal baseline.
That's his baseline.
And it's not because he had a cold.
Are we just now just not being gaslit into saying
it's not happening anymore?
He's got a cold.
Apparently.
He's just sick.
He had a cold.
He's been sick for the past four fucking years.
Yeah, that's what it is.
He's been real sick.
Democrats just committed collective suicide.
Yeah.
Damn, they're really dead.
They need to get somebody else as the candidate.
Representative?
Yeah, as a candidate.
Get fucking Gavin Newsom, dude.
Who the fuck is Gavin Newsom, the governor
of California?
Yeah.
Are you kidding me?
That dude's a fucking asshole.
No, the governor of California is on a four-tracker.
California is a disaster.
Now it's Gavin Newsom.
Have you seen California?
OK, here's the thing.
Nobody cares what the politicians actually do.
They don't care about their success rate or anything like
that.
Is Gavin Newsom a gay guy, or is that the other thing?
Why would I want him to be president?
No, Gavin Newsom.
Because he can formulate a sentence, and it's coherent.
It's like, dude, I don't care.
Look.
He fucked up the entire state of California.
Yeah, what about my guns?
That's fine.
We're fucked anyway.
That's fine.
That's a damn good question, Dan.
Oh my goodness.
I honestly, at this point, I don't fucking care.
I wake up, and I only care about one thing.
My guns.
No, no, no.
I don't care who wins.
Don't say it.
We're not going there.
I only care about the weather.
Waking up the next day.
I'm not going to say it.
The thing I care about most starts at 930 in the morning.
Yeah, dude.
When the meteorology market opens.
Dude, put somebody in there that can speak in full sentences
that's articulate, literate.
I can speak in full sentence.
I don't know if I'm literate, but I can speak in full sentences.
I don't care if we're making deals behind our country's
back with Ukraine and this.
I don't give a fuck about that.
As long as somebody's making money.
Would be the worst thing for your addiction there.
What?
Gavin Newsom?
Everything I know.
Maybe not, though.
Do you know the capital gains tax of fucking of California?
It's higher than New York.
What is it like 40%?
It's something ridiculous like that.
80%
I'll move it.
What are those islands?
American.
The one you went to.
The Virgin Islands.
Fucking the Bahamas.
Cayman Islands.
Yeah, that's where we got to move.
Cayman Islands are really fucking nice, too.
But it's technically under British rule.
That's fine.
Yeah, but there's no capital gains tax.
No, there's no taxes.
And on top of that.
There's some taxes now.
And they have really good chocolate.
I don't think they're going to let him debate again.
I think they're just going to like.
No, they're going to whine too.
And Trump's going to say no.
They're going to.
No, Trump.
It's beneficial for Trump to debate him.
Because it makes Biden look like an idiot.
Well, I mean, you might want to just lock it in.
Because he did a good enough job.
Like, if Biden comes back and looks stronger.
I don't think his staff will want
Biden to be in another debate.
You know?
Who?
Biden's staff?
Yeah, Biden's staff.
We all know that.
I really think he has another option, though.
Is Biden keeping fucking Harris as his VP?
I hope not.
He's just really stupid.
Yeah, he is.
He is?
I think that I just think that him bailing out of future debates
looks worse than him not showing up.
Because I think.
I do think that it's being overstated a little bit.
Like, he did fucking come across as just not in good health.
But at the same time, like, he didn't.
It's like you were saying.
He didn't sound like that much of a dumbass.
Just make fucking Kamala president.
He has no coherency.
Kamala is the fucking evil.
That.
It's not even, dude.
Like, I don't care anymore.
I just don't want a woman to be president.
That's what they have to say.
No, that's not true at all.
That's not true.
You're a success message.
You're just a piece of shit.
There is plenty of women that I would
love to see as presidents.
Who?
Storie Daniels?
No, there's.
Hillary Rodd.
There's applause there.
You know what?
I'm going to say something really unpopular.
I would take fucking AOC over fucking Biden.
Oh, unpopular opinion.
Hard no.
I don't care what people think.
She's easy on the eyes, bro.
Hard no, chief.
Casey thinks she looks like a horse.
Did she have an OnlyFans?
If she did, I'd be signed up for it.
I don't care.
I don't care anymore.
Who'd Google her?
I don't even know what she looks like.
Whatever.
She's got a weird face.
What's her name?
She's got a nice body, but a weird face.
AOC.
Let's see.
Let's see if we can play some of these CNN comments.
Wait a minute.
When they're all talking about.
OK.
All right.
She's easy on the eyes.
She's got a fucking banging body.
Oh, my god.
You know what?
You can be my president.
Right?
That's what I'm saying.
I want to be able to jerk off to my president.
Right.
I want to turn on the news and be like, I.
Don't you put me in the spotlight like that.
Even though.
All right.
That picture is not very flattering.
She looks like a fucking really old bitch in there.
She aged significantly.
A really old bitch in politics?
No way.
No.
No fucking way.
She's like 28.
Let's hear what some of these people said.
My question actually is what happens.
Because she's 34.
It's a great political strength of Joe Biden.
It's his resilience and his stubbornness.
It's also sometimes a blind spot because he is so stubborn.
It's going to be very hard to someone.
And I don't know who it is who could go to Joe Biden and say,
you need to do this, number one.
The question is, again, I'm just telling you, to Abby's point,
I've been doing this for 30-something years,
going on 40 years.
And I have never, ever had what happened on this thing tonight
happen in the middle of the debate.
It started early and it continued.
And to advance with a very important point,
these are people who love Joe Biden, who credit Joe Biden
for kicking Donald Trump out of the White House.
They're Democrats.
The Democratic Party is a very diverse party.
It fights about a lot of things.
It has generational issues.
It's had regional issues and everything else.
The thing that unites the Democratic Party
is trying to keep Donald Trump from getting back
into the White House.
They love Joe Biden for kicking him out.
They don't want him back.
They came into this debate nervous
that Biden was in a weak position.
They leave this debate panicked.
John, if you love the guy, how could you put him out there?
If you love him, if you love Joe Biden,
if that was my father, you don't put a guy in that situation.
Can I just say, can I just say, is that it then?
These guys know this better.
These guys know this better because they talked to them.
They didn't even try.
They don't challenge the incumbent
because they know it's in the past.
They haven't beaten the incumbent.
What is MSNBC saying?
I don't know.
Same thing.
I feel like it.
I saw that they were doing a bunch of fact checks on Trump.
I mean, dude, that's probably going to get them nowhere.
I mean, that's, I don't know.
You know what's going to happen again?
MSNBC.
All the social media is going to go back to saying,
this is misinformation.
They're going to have all those fucking warnings up
on every post for anything and everything.
Although the misinformation posts have been getting put on leftist posts now,
too, I've been seeing.
Really?
I haven't seen a single one.
I've seen them on Instagram and stuff.
Where is RFK for this debate?
RFK was at home jerking off or fucking his wife or something.
Dude, it's like.
What's he in hot water for right now?
Being fucking Bobby Kennedy's son.
All right, that's fair.
Was he actually there trying to bring him up on something?
I think so.
I saw a news article, why RFK is not saying he's a piece of shit.
And I'm like, OK, I didn't even know that this was going to be still running.
I thought they were all kind of shot in the head.
Official stance from Tyler Lee on the Untitled podcast,
for the third time in a row I'm voting for Donald Trump for president.
The third time?
Yeah, I mean, I'm going to vote.
I'm probably going to vote for Trump.
I'm probably going to vote for Trump because.
F. Kennedy.
Robert F. Kennedy, bro.
I'm always fighting with you.
RFK train.
I'm always fighting with the state easy pass.
So I'm on his side when it comes to.
Three hours ago, RFK Junior.
Oh, no internet.
Hang on.
To stream his own real debate.
In real debate.
During Trump Biden debate.
Against himself.
Yeah, he's going to debate himself.
Is he going to answer the questions that they gave Joe Biden and Donald Trump?
Let me read it.
He's a term he doesn't meet the correct.
CNN has excluded RFK Junior from the debate,
determining that he doesn't meet criteria, including a polling threshold
and appearance on a sufficient number of states ballots to win the presidency.
So they just said, you're not popular.
Get the fuck out.
You're not coming.
Well, not sitting at the cool kids table.
They need to maintain this two party system.
They need to maintain it to maintain control.
Yeah.
Right.
Because like I've said in the past, the United States is literally
just a pyramid scheme that takes the tax money from W-2 employees,
40% of their income, and funnels it up the pyramid into military contractors
and distributes it.
That's how it works.
That's what taxes are.
So we got to maintain that.
And we got to put on this puppet show.
What's that?
I should work for a military contractor is what you're saying.
Yes.
You do kind of.
No, I'm owned.
You work for the military.
I am owned by the military.
You are owned by the military.
I do not work for a military contractor.
One makes money, the other does not.
I am the one who does not.
I am government property.
I am government property, and it is horrible.
I just saw that movie Zero Dark Thirty, where they have the CIA,
IA agents, and they're trying to find out where Osama bin Laden is.
Casey, how high are you right now?
Pretty high.
They bribe the fucking CIA or the fucking Saudi with cars.
They buy them a car in order to tell them where the terrorists are.
Well, it better be a pretty good car if I'm giving up terrorists.
They're like a smart car.
They were buying them Ferraris?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
That's a great way to just get information.
And they're like torturing the little ones.
Damn.
Yeah, we're going to break every bone in your leg
so you can't drive this Ferrari, but we're going to buy you a Ferrari.
Dude, that sucks.
If you got your bones broken and you're like, hey, here's a Ferrari,
though, I'd be like, you motherfucker!
Dude, there is this fucking.
Hey, we're going to paralyze you, but here's a brand new car.
I'd be like, oh, you motherfucker!
There is this Canadian professor that had the same name as some terrorist
that the CIA was looking for.
Oh, yeah.
What's his name?
It was Osama bin Laden.
The fucking.
I always forget his name.
The fucking clean your room guy.
What's his name?
Peterson.
Jordan Peterson.
No, no, no.
No, no, that's who you're talking about.
No, it's not.
No, that's who you're talking about.
Jordan Peterson.
That's exactly right.
That's who you're talking about.
We were fine.
That's who I'm talking about.
This guy had the same name as some.
Jordan Peterson.
Did I talk about this before?
I think so, yeah.
Well, so the CIA didn't want to torture him.
So they sent him to.
Guantanamo.
No, no, we outsource our torture.
We outsource our torture?
I forget.
What fucking country would you be?
Are you sure about that?
Because we have an MOS in the army that literally is torture.
That's fucking awesome.
There's literally an MOS.
I saw it the other day when I was in PA.
I saw it on some list.
And I'm like, what is this?
And my instructor's like, that's kind of like an interrogator.
Like basically a human torturer.
I'm like, wait, that exists?
He's like, yep.
I'm like, you're not fucking me.
He's like, no.
Can I switch my MOS?
Can I switch that?
Whips and chains excite me.
All right, I want to come back to that.
But so this guy, I forget what.
It was one of those fucking Arab countries.
They shipped him off to have him tortured
to release the information.
And they put him through everything.
And they come back to the United States.
And they're like, yo, this guy doesn't know anything.
Wait, so you tortured him?
And they're like, we did everything.
They raped him.
They fucking drove shit under his fingernails.
Everything.
Dude, they found out it was the wrong guy.
Oh.
Yeah.
That dude's living one cushy life, or he's dead.
And sent him back to Canada.
Like as a professor, the guy cannot leave his house.
I mean, he's got such bad PTSD.
Dude, you fucking got tortured.
I fucking wonder why.
It's just for having the same fucking name.
Dude, he better be living.
And his great, great, great, great, great, great grandkids
better have the money left over.
Dude, I don't think they did anything for him.
Really?
I think they just kind of said, yeah, I'm sorry, dude.
Well, probably because he's too scared to leave his fucking
house, that he's just like, I'm not going to fuck.
Yeah, he's not.
They're not at risk of being exposed.
He's like, I don't care.
But anyway.
But the story's out there.
So somehow, someone said something.
So someone did have the right clearance.
CIA does what the CIA wants.
Yeah, what are you going to do?
Go against the CIA?
They're just going to make you disappear.
It's like, yeah, come on.
They'll put two bullets in the back of your head
and call you a suicide.
No, they'll send you on another torture trip like that guy did.
Whoops.
So say you have like, I don't know,
say family member years, right?
Somebody fucking brutally murders them, OK?
And you have the opportunity to torture this person, right?
All right, you can just kill him or you get to torture him.
Right?
Juan, what do you do?
I'm just going to torture them.
OK, I'm going to torture them too.
I think torture is the correct choice.
For as long as humanly possible.
If they survive for an entire year on excruciating pain,
they're going to survive for an entire year
on excruciating pain.
What would you do?
Fire?
So glad you asked.
The nails.
Oh, the nail thing.
Coming off.
One, two, three, four.
Dude, that's worse than losing a finger.
I don't know why.
What I'm going to do is it's going
to be a very slow peel off.
It'll be like on a machine that'll slowly just peel.
As snails crawl past.
Then after the nails are all gone,
I'm going to take a little bit of the skin off
like the ball of the tip of each finger.
I'm going to peel it back.
I'm going to peel it all the way down to the palm.
Oh, fuck.
All the way down.
I'm on a watch list.
I know how to do this.
And then I'm going to probably going
to rip their eyelids off.
That's a fun one.
Dude, you thought about this.
You put some thought into this.
There's a lot more, but I'm already on enough watch lists.
Who hurt you, Dan?
Damn.
Yeah, that was fucking good.
I'm just wondering who you're picturing doing this to.
So I was actually, when I was a kid,
I was involved in an actual lawsuit for a corrupt,
like an evil dentist.
Evil dentist?
What?
Dude.
No, I'm fucking being dead serious.
That's another good torture.
Teeth is another good one.
This dentist got sued because he found out to have not.
And I make that in harsh.
He would drill into people's children's teeth
without Novocaine or anything and remove teeth.
I was one of those kids that he drilled into his teeth
without Novocaine and shit.
And I fucking still have nightmares about that
to this day, that the fucking dentist
drilling into my teeth without Novocaine.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Did you get anything for that?
My parents, I think, did.
Yeah.
That's what paid for Tyler's art degree.
He didn't use.
Yeah, getting tortured as a child.
They fucked me up with an anesthesiologist once.
I went in for a fucking, I was getting all four wisdom teeth
removed.
And they're like, all right, count to 10.
And I was like, all right, I'm going
to see how far I can make it.
And it was like, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine.
It was like 14, 15, 16, 17.
And I could see a little bit of panic in moving around.
And then I slowly started to feel like the floor was falling
out from underneath me.
And then I started to go under.
I don't want to play with you anymore.
And I was just like, am I not going
to have the worst pain I've ever experienced?
Am I going to be awake for this?
It's not as harsh.
Maybe it's because the teeth were probably burnt out.
Out of all the pain I've experienced
getting my teeth drilled.
And he drilled every single tooth in the back
and every single tooth here without Novocaine
and then removed my fucking back four teeth here
without Novocaine.
How many fucking teeth did you have fucked up?
My teeth are fucked up.
That was all of your teeth you just had.
How many teeth do you have left?
My teeth have been fucked up since I
was a kid because of that.
Hey, Tyler, how many teeth do you actually have left?
All four over there?
Does that count the dentures?
The teeth back here are all fake.
My back teeth are all fake.
My front tooth here and my front tooth here are fake.
What else?
These teeth are fake here.
I feel like you're a golem over there.
Yeah.
We only have nine.
But yeah, my teeth got all ruined.
Because he was one pecking tooth to break into wall of masts.
He would do that, but then he'd also
drill enough where it would leave space for plaque
to get in there and cause another cavity.
So you'd have to come back.
You should have sued him.
We did.
It was part of a whole thing.
So what you're telling me is that you're loaded.
Do you think Biden's staff is like, good job?
I wonder if they got backstage and they're like, good job out there.
They're like, yeah, good job.
It's like after losing a sports game when they're like, good job, chief.
They're like, let's get you to bed.
Let's get you to bed, sweetheart.
You had a rough day.
Rough day at work.
You want some ice cream, Joe?
I wonder if he just gets in bed with his wife and he's like, honey,
I think I kind of fucked that up a little bit.
I wonder if he gets in bed with his wife and he's like, who the fuck are you?
No, no, they're keeping me.
Where am I?
Who are you?
What is the little boy that I had?
Tyler's conspiracy theories for the day.
Joe Biden gets put into a fucking freeze tank until he's needed next.
I can't think of anything.
Put a fucking bad signal in the air, we need you again, Biden.
That's why he's frozen for 100 years.
Yeah, that's why he's so out of it because the cryo hasn't left him yet.
He's still out of it a little bit.
Here's my prediction.
Joe Biden doesn't run in the 2024 election.
Joe Trump goes unabashed.
Would you put money on that?
I would, yeah.
Yeah, after that, I think it's done.
I think it's good.
Yeah, you sealed it.
I think it's not even that.
I think that that was the point of the debate was to set up this situation so that they
could replace him.
Who would replace him?
Don't say Gavin Newsom.
Also, I feel like that's going to piss off a lot of people that you're saying, oh yeah.
How about we fucking Kamala?
No, we're going with this person.
If they go with Kamala, that'd be even worse.
They're not going to go with Kamala now.
They still have time to switch.
You know what they're going to do?
They're going to go back to their trusted, tried and true Hillary Clinton.
Hillary Clinton, I was just going to say that.
And she admitted it.
She would lose again.
I think too many people don't like her.
Exactly, but they don't have another option.
I don't think they would go with her.
They're not going to go with Kamala.
Kamala has literally no experience and she's a fucking idiot.
Dude, what if Barack Obama?
No, he can't.
He can't.
Obama would bring it back.
I would make Obama a dictator if I could.
Here's my prediction.
Fucking Bernie Sanders is rolling through the door.
Oh yeah, Bernie, I forgot about him.
Jimmy Carter comes back for the U.S. tour.
Jimmy Carter actually can't be president again because he only did one term.
Oh, let's get him out of here.
I don't think he's going to be president.
Who would do better, Jimmy Carter or Joe Biden?
Probably Jimmy Carter, honestly.
They're about equal.
They put Jimmy Carter in the debates like, so how do you feel about the state of the
global economy?
Like, what?
Let me die.
Okay, thank you, former president Carter.
I'm going to go with Trump.
I'm going to go with Jimmy Carter.
That's a bad idea.
It is a miracle we got him onto the stage tonight.
God bless you, sir.
Oh man.
God bless America.
I can see why people want Trump as a dictator because I would make...
As a dictator?
I would make Obama my dictator or Bernie Sanders or something.
I would be a dictator.
Once again, I am asking for you to listen to me, but I'm actually telling you, because
dictatorship
I've gotta be honest fucking Bernie's so easy to impersonate. It's like once again. I'm sitting here my mittens
And I'm asking you for your financial help, but he's too much of a pussy to be the president is he's not he's a pussy
He's doing all now fuck him
Awesome, I love tax every transaction on Wall Street
He wants that was his plan to pay for everybody's student debt. Did it? Where's the guy who's?
The tax
Okay, not my fucking penny Robin Hood does already
Take pennies they take like point zero zero zero. We're not gonna talk about this
Idea was it to tax was like PayPal or even just bank transactions over six hundred dollars
Your own money that you're transferring to a different account now. They're gonna tax it no way that was a thing
That was a thing that was brought up, and I'm like wait a minute wait a minute hang on
What did they already tax every transaction?
Yeah ever like in any way shape or form exactly on top of that they tax
You making money, and then when you go to buy something you're taxed again, right?
You're taxed multiple what the fuck we funded our country on the whole taxing thing
It's time for another oh, yeah people should can't say that loud though because um now. I'm actually gonna get arrested well
The reason the reason that nobody fights back about it is because they dump fluoride in the water, so it's just docile
Well a lot of people do
So as long as most people do they're safe from a revolution, okay?
Does anybody here actually drink tap water you know I do well? That's why you're retarded
I used to but I've noticed actually I'm just naturally that way
So I haven't been Jesus Christ
I haven't been drinking tap water as much and I've noticed it's like your head's clear
I know I'm just like starting it's not even like the conspiracy theories
But I'm just starting to like accept a bunch of shit where it'd be like oh for example
I know I talked briefly the last time I was here about like the JFK and MLK assassinations
It's like I was always figured there might have been something going on there, but never really looked into it
Then you stop drinking tap water yeah
And I was like wow this is actually pretty fucking crazy that this happened and nobody gives a fuck
You start talking to other people about it. They look at you like you're crazy check out the group chat
I sent a picture there they look like they look at me like I'm crazy, and it's like no this shit happened like
Guys the information's out there like this didn't fucking happen
They admitted MLK's assassination was by the government and nobody cares about that. That's not in the history book
Yeah, his family fucking won a lawsuit where all they wanted was
$100 that that's all they want out of the lawsuit because they didn't care about the money
They just took them to they took the state to court to say good back to say did the government have involvement in MLK's assassination?
And absolutely the window that they said that the shooter
Shot from was obscured by a tree
And there's a picture you can see of the the pose that he would had to have had in the bathroom
To even get the shot off
Yes, like yeah, he's like crouched over a fucking bathtub and like trying to pull off like it one of these
It's like what are you doing? And he was dead accurate
Yeah
And it was just like also all the bystanders are like the shots came from that bush right there and the police like no
It came from that window like no it
Came from here
It was the CIA definitely was the people that killed. Oh, yeah, the shift's been going on
It's kind of like the the dark shady shit has been going on since this since like the FBI did MLK
It's like yes CIA was absolutely JFK. The CIA has no rules. They don't they they have no
Unchecked and you can't start checking them now. Yeah, well the whole thing with JFK was that a couple months before he's gonna
Talking about the the whole Bay of Pigs happened
Which essentially was the CIA doing their own shit and JFK never approved any of that and then he was like
I fucking hate the CIA and he was quoted as saying I would dissolve them into a thousand tiny pieces and then just
Throw throw it in the trash like I fucking can't stand and then I died and then like two weeks before he got assassinated
He was quoted as saying that there was secret
Secret societies within the government and he couldn't wait to expose them and then he got fucking killed and then they get taken to court
like 30 years ago and
The footage from the other side of the road which clearly displays smoke being fired from like three different windows and three different locations and the grassy
No, that just mysteriously
gets stolen from the CIA evidence lockup because that's where it was and
Then they were like, oh, we don't know what happened
Fucking did it. Yeah, it's crazy
So then that board which is another government body, it's not the CIA
They were putting the CIA on trial and they concluded after the evidence got thrown out that that most likely
the CIA was involved with the with the
assassination of JFK like I get that a lot of the
Because the evidence that they already knew existed was irrefutable
But because it was destroyed before they could present it in front of the court
It's just he said sure substantial, but it's like yeah, so they probably did but we can't prove it to you because they fucking
destroyed everything so
But could they they can't get charged with not bring evidence either. It's no. Hey, what are you gonna do fucking go? Oh boy?
You're looking at me like hey you guys tamper with evidence. You can like you can look at I'm gonna do about it disappear
You can look that up all that shit's fucking out there without Joseph Pfeiffer
Fuck him. Do you think he's fine a CIA? No, I think the CIA paid him in order to fucking cover up 9-eleven
dude, there's the
I was watching this one podcast concrete podcast. Have you ever seen it? No, they're talking this one guy that was a CIA agent and
The so the United States isn't supposed to engage in torture, right? Like that's right, right? What they do. They're not
Something I don't know how but you said like there's a job that is a torture
I don't know this CIA guy said like they're not supposed to do it or whatever
And so he started he was a whistleblower against the CIA. Oh, that's not a good idea
No, he's gonna get two balls gone. So that's like worse than doing that against he's just gone now
They literally threw him in jail
Right and like they see I literally like turn on it's like a cult dude. You cannot it's like your home witnesses
worse
Pretty fucked up. I think I've heard about what you're saying
They like this story like I bet I told it on the podcast
Oh, I remember it was after the podcast, but you told to me upstairs. I didn't left one day. Yeah
Yeah
so they fucking turned on him and
Throw him in prison and then he became friends with like some mob boss in prison and like was hanging out with him when he got
out of prison and
the FBI came to his house and they're like, oh we
We found out that you were like friends with this this guy while you're in prison like would you mind like giving us some information?
We know you're in the CIA and he's like get the fuck off my porch
Like you think I'm gonna fucking help the federal government after you put me in prison. Yeah, fuck that. He's like leave
Now
Get the fuck out of here
I got a good thing going with these mob bosses like fuck off
They keep me protected they keep the feds off my ass
Dude the CIA is just the mob for the next thing
I don't pay taxes on nothing
Dude, I'm not gonna lie. I'd love to be part of that cult but
They do some they do some shitty shit. Well the CIA is its own entity
They play by their own rules. They don't give a fuck who's an officer. You're the top dog, dude
You're fucking who's you're the top gangster. That's what that's what it was about. Like the CIA like
With the JFK thing. It's it's a fucking hot dog not flexed
Yeah, it's like we'll fucking kill the president and get a fucking way with it
Like try and do something about it and like that just puts the person who's head of the CIA
Above the president. Yeah, that's what it does. It just elevates a call
We're in George HW Bush's case
It makes him the president because he was the fucking CIA director before that and also in fucking Texas the day JFK was assassinated
Yeah, not only will I kill you like this job so bad
I know I said last episode I'm gonna stop no
But no, he was there
Fucking George HW Bush was in Texas the day fucking JFK was assassinated then after he fails his job so miserably
He gets promotion after promotion fail until he becomes the CIA director and then he jumps from that position
All of a sudden into being the president dude
What if you fail you fail when he was interviewed Dan when he was interviewed because I know I told these guys this already
But when he was interviewed he was like, oh, where were you the day JFK was assassinated goes. Hmm. I don't remember
like really
Really, dude
In Texas, that's some joker level. I call hey Casey
I just got one thing to tell you I fucking hate impractical jokers. Why I fucking hate that show
It's so fucking annoying
I actually got a lot of inspiration for the podcast. I just fuck I don't like them dude. They're fucking accents
I can't stand that accent the New Jersey one. It's the fucking more Long Island Staten Island that I Jersey whatever fucking I was down there
Fucking hate him dude. What happened in Long Island? How'd their accent get so fucked up compared to?
Like but like he's like like they're like they're in New York State
Leave they never leave the city so they have their own dialect
Yeah, no, but at least like with the New York City accent. I'm like I get that but like a Long Island accent
I'm just like do you just want to sound like an asshole like have them don't even have fucking cars though
Like it's just public no Long Island nuts that oh, yeah, Long Island. I fucking long
I understand why Long Island thinks are so fucking hot shit and special when they're really not because nothing it's expensive
That's you're a listener in Long Island. Go fuck yourself. Fuck yourself
Fuck there's a reason why the women down there are Long Island bitches not Long Island women fucking
Whores fucking upstate for life upstate. Yeah, you know what's weird is like you don't really think about like Long Island sound
Yeah, area between Long Island and Connecticut is not that far like you never hear anybody saying that they're gonna go sail in Long Island
Sound have you ever heard that? No, no
That's like you would think that'd be like a nice little sailing trip
We're gonna go down to the Long Island sound you ever hear people say that I've never heard
I've lived in New York my entire life. Are you gonna dock your boat on the other end a fucking landfill?
But like I've lived in New York my entire life
I've never heard somebody be like I want to go to Long Island or I'm going to Long Island
I've lived in New York my whole life and I've never been to Long Island, right?
I've been in New York City a bunch of times. I've been to fucking like Buffalo. I've been to like Watertown and shit
I've never been to anywhere on Long Island. I've been around one time and it was for a couple of months
Because of that the one we're doing the code missions for the army
I was in a field hospital set up on Stony Brook campus and
I said Long Island. Yeah, I didn't know that and
We were sitting there in like these vehicles like government-issued rented vehicles
So I had this nice Ford Explorer that I sat in and I just sat there no armor. No weapons
I played fucking uno my friends and I'm sitting there
One night I got really really bored
So I'm like, let me see what's inside this giant fuck-off tent with all these generators. See what we're guarding. I
walk in and
There's no beds. There's no medical equipment. There's no staff. There's no nothing
You're just guarding an empty tent just guarding an empty tent with a bunch of like sectioned off rooms
It looks like little hospital rooms, right?
But no beds no equipment not even a fucking stethoscope and they were to be found
And I'm like so it's literally just the tent. Yeah, there's nothing inside. So I said optics
Yeah, so I sent a tent text out. I'm like, what are we doing here? Like there's no one here
There's no equipment here. Like we're probably here to just to make sure the generators don't get stolen
Entire field hospital was just a publicity stunt for Cuomo at the time to say he did something
That's it. That's all it was
You if there was actually a real shit emergency in that area that field hospital could not be used
Because it was really just a bunch of fucking tents that they set up
Surprise they weren't like yeah
Sorry, I didn't mean to ask my bad didn't sign an NDA and I they didn't say I couldn't go in the building
So I did exactly that I went inside the building and I snooped around I'm like
There's no fucking stupid
That's nuts
Months just sitting there in a car
so that
Guard that kind of gives you like a like are any of these like tent cities that they're given like the immigrants
They do they actually have anything in them type shit
Cuz that kind of like sends like a like a like a magnifying glass on that being like all these things that are building for
Like immigrants and like for kovat and stuff is anything even in them
Type thing yeah, like that was like a conspiracy and you're just proving a conspiracy fucking right yep fucking with this shit, but
Long Island sucks. I think we all agree on that agreed. We can all agree long and sucks sucks
We take a vote
Take a vote sucks. I I have I have a theory. I'd like to talk about five you mean yeah
I have a theory I'd like to talk about that I've stayed quiet about for far too long
Is anyone notice that there is just Alex McDonald? This is not the place for this wait
All right, it's all right. I just follow me here
Okay, then has anyone noticed that there's a lot less people just in general since kovat. I think they wiped out some NPCs there
I think they took some people off the streets because like you know we're gonna say something way different no
Everybody's like oh, no everybody's staying inside. It's like really cuz everybody I know is back to doing their own life
I don't know anybody who's still a shut-in since then and it's like you go to things like sporting events and like theme parks and
the movies there's like any restaurants and
Everywhere a cry cuz it's like oh, yeah, it's entertainment or it's a restaurant, but it's like no it's everywhere
You go you just see less people there's well people. Well. Here's another to everybody. I know everybody
Two and ten people left New York State
So that's that's a lot of people so how much of that is from the city though?
We're not gonna see that up here like that's what I'm saying
It's dramatic sounds that I can where you go out of my state
I that I like fucking like got like real skeeved out about fucking thing I'm stressed out about the population. They're taking the NPCs so streets
They're often times have you seen your neighbors bring in their groceries
Tell you said this to us
I was near for that what what how many times have you seen your neighbors bring in their groceries honestly pretty frequently
I've never seen my never my groceries
I have a fucking camera in my backyard that like it's like like pointing out your neighbors window and then
I never know I watch them jerk off every night
No, I guess it's like point I have like a deck on my backyard Dan's been there
You've seen that you know like my deck thing no my camera my camera's like pointed down at that so I can see me and
My neighbor coming in like after like work and stuff. I've never seen this man bringing groceries once
You might just eat out you just go back and watch like 24 hours of footage
One time to get to fair point
Easily missable
No, but like I get a I get most alerts that's all you want so I look at my most
I bet you the guy who watched 24 hours of footage at point five speed that way you can really get the details
It takes you 48 hours to watch one roll you want to know what while we're at this while we're talking about glitches
What the fuck is with mattress stores? Why are there so many of them? I've never visited one in my entire life
By one so like how are these places staying in business?
There's like four in every town because they're so expensive is probably somebody does buy
I don't know if the profit margin is that money like that
It's like dude it they got to be a front for something money laundering is money laundering
Yeah, but that's such obvious like money laundering
That's got to be at least government backed mother money laundering in some instance like somebody has power for that to go on notice for this
Long because there's no way that like because I'm not the first one to say this
I saw somebody say some shit about this like a decade ago, and it's like ah it's a conspiracy theorist
But then I stopped drinking the fluoride started drinking the caffeine and now it's like wow no that's a problem
Like they shouldn't be in business, and there's fucking 50 of them within a five mile radius of me
So where did I mattress from where did I I don't know every single mattress has been a hand-me-down of some sort
So I bought my mattress at fucking Sam's Club
Wait you can buy a mattress at Sam's Club. Yeah, I got a nectar mattress
Amazon I was gonna say that's where my next one will be from dude
I got it. I got it Amazon because I needed it for like that are not Amazon
I got from Sam's book
I needed that that fucking day cuz I moved in and I'm like oh fuck. I don't have a mattress
And I didn't have a couch at that point. I only had a fucking recliner, and I'm like fuck
I
went to Sam's Club, and I'm like
Mattress for $800 whatever I bought it, and I've been sleeping on that ever since it's a fantastic mattress by the way
I would recommend a nectar mattress to anybody. It's great. Fuck yeah
It's a it's a medium like it's like it's not medium, but like it's a softer like it's soft
But with like a slight like not give you know
Like when you lay down on it it like I used to have chronic back pain from my old mattress
Tell me more. I only have mild back pain wait a second Tyler. Are you is this a plug?
I see what's going on somebody's getting painless plug. Let me ask you guys something
Do you think our government's up to something worse than MK ultra right now probably find out about?
That's what I'm saying
Nobody knew MK ultra was going on when it was happening
They gave syphilis to black people and they're like no that's not a joke. That's a real introduced
They thought was part of it, but like there's like hey
We're gonna give syphilis to black people because we don't care about them
That's literally they're giving LSD to fucking homeless people and then just like experiment people brains
It's like Charles Manson might have been an MK ultra victim. He thought no. I'm pretty sure he was
Yeah, I think he wants that was confirmed
But regardless it's like it's deep something like that Scott dude we're all MK ultra victims at this point
Yeah, there's so many missing people we broke that just like you don't know
But they don't if you look at the missing people and the cave systems of the United States. They're almost interlinked
We definitely talked about yes, we have I know the rabbit hole
We're about to go down with the tunnels. You can't do it
I think that there's there were giants that lived on this planet at one point and we killed them all I believe that
manufacturing them
One hundred percent all the way Giants are real dude Giants were real then are you gonna stay with us for Jeopardy fuck? Oh?
Yeah, I couldn't tell cuz the sunglasses I
Supposed I could see fuck yeah, all right. Let's do it
I'm sorry let's get the last
You have a working buzzer have you tried changing the battery in there I did yeah that one just that one was fucked from
I'm gonna know one yeah, we gotta buy more
We got a pool in for another though our guest our guest has to have a working buzzer
This is the second time we're gonna ask my smack the table
It's there. I'm not gonna smack a table
He's gonna buzz his own buzzer on his phone or something
Fuck is wrong with this
Yeah here with your 21 time winner Tyler
To die we're at max ago the do so
Oh, let's do a road and nighttime winner this buzzer has a hundred K down loads
It's a five perfect five star review on Google Play
Farley I tell you what you guys I want you guys to team up today
Two teams two teams
Tyler and Alimak
Shit the Dan's versus the Dan buzzer actually could I be on the dance?
Yeah, everybody versus Alimak the guy with two ways we batch what do you guys want your team name to me
horse come
It's not we were doing teams damn damn what what's your team name?
Our team name we got this Dan and Dan. Yeah, it's your shirt bocking hockey team hockey's
Actually, no, can we be 1980 and squared?
We're gonna be the 1980 USA Olympic hockey team that's already horse come no, we're not also we only need one buzzer
No, no, you it's just shared boys. Oh, I'm still working on you
I'm only I'm only gonna buzz it on should I know yes, I am NOT gonna fuck this up for us
We can we can win this one. Yeah, we can win this one. This will be easy
Casey's underestimating me here. He thinks just cuz I only got two wins. I'm always in it till final Jeopardy and I just don't know
whatever
Yeah, there we go. This is this is a buzzer kids
We're in there. I like it. He's got work cuz yours work. Yeah buzzer, too
All right, listen to that bass drop
Are you able to go back and see if he buzzes in
What do you mean like with the sound waves?
Are you able to see if he has a loud enough one if we come down to somewhere where it's like?
Yeah, can we play it back?
Which we which we will team horse cumbersome team at Dan's squared
Gotta stop with the chain is fucking my mic
I'm getting so stimulated by the noises
Right
Categories say got explorers
You got us aircraft carriers, okay even more license plate slogans
the Dow Jones industrial
Snooze tastic and bring it back the classic emo lyrics
Dan
Lady one last let's go with the Dow Jones
For Dan let's get it out of the way will be the underdogs
That's all right this repetitive medical company has suspended production of its single dose COVID vaccine
this repetitive
I'm gonna let you get those questions. I'm gonna let you get those questions. We're a team right now. We're a team
Yeah, bring it over to emo emo lyrics for a thousand
For thousand well, I'm a no good lower middle class brat
Bag packed and I don't give a shit about nothing. You'd be standing on the corner talking all that
Yeah
I
Don't give a shit about nothing, but it's monotone voice fucks me every time
Ali Max over there
Let's go back to the Dow Jones
I don't know why I didn't pull the trigger for 400. Can you hear them now? They were dough is a bell Atlantic
What is Verizon Verizon prior to the 2000? Oh, that was good
You know for 800
Let me get to your points emo for 800
You guys got up to a thousand
Yeah, you can both you can both answer
All right 800 my car is in the front yard and I'm sleeping with my clothes
I came in through the window last night and you're long gone
What is my own worst enemy? Oh, yeah, team horse come got
Every now and then I kick my shit
That's lit bro
600 all the boys don't you do that all the boys who?
The dance floor didn't love and all the girls whose lips couldn't move through the door
I'm gonna do a dance floor
All the boys who the dance floor didn't love and all the girls whose lips couldn't move fast enough sing until your lungs give out
That's on
What's the name of this song I'm not gonna say the name of the band turn them on to it I can hear it
What's the name? Let's give it again. Give it again. Oh
We do all the boys know this to all the boys who the dance floor didn't love and all the girls whose lips couldn't move
Fast enough sing until your lungs give out dude. Oh
This is a new question. I know uses way more you than it is me. I don't know which one I know the band
What
What it's not that's what I was asking for the band no for the song fuck you all right
This ain't a scene. It's a goddamn arm. I thought it was
I'm not those far away. I didn't know it's on I hate that song
Just lose there 600
Fuck loser
Meet me out past the train tracks. I'm leaving and not coming back. You're right, and I was wrong
I don't know which bells is ringing. They're out of tune. They're out of tune
Nobody
The downfall of this song
Wow, yeah, it is. Yep a day to remember. Oh my god
Damn, I literally listen to that song today
Literally
I think that might have came on my shuffle. Yeah, 200 fucking hell
You could slip my throat and with my one last
Gasp breath apologize for bleeding shirt wait hold up. Oh
Is that uh, I just make damn sure nope
What is cute without the
No
Burning I just create I'd mix the two names together
You're so last summer
I
Got explorers aircraft carriers license plate slogans
Thousand America's Dairyland
Wait, it's a state. What is Wisconsin? Oh, yeah
Last time was was one
No, what it wasn't so confident I was wrong
The land of Lincoln
I'm like, I think I need to stay. Yeah. Yeah
Um, I'm between two and I'm not confident enough to answer either of them. I probably guess the wrong one
Was not one of my two
Illinois but like he was known for being in Illinois. Anyways, that's the most ridiculous
Back up the answer to use from Illinois. No, he was he wasn't born
Where was he born?
All right, Tyler's
The license plate slogans for 600 the bluegrass state
Kentucky Kentucky
Because I didn't
You were way ahead of me I'm not disputing that
It's like a half second delay
Yeah, you were way ahead of me. Yeah, cool. How is the license plates license plate?
200 live free or die
You got it I knew it too late on the bus
400 the Lone Star State
You're pulling this out of the red
I'd be faster table. I was gone. Yeah explorers aircraft
Horse come as 3000 Dan squared has 1600
I thought we were like in the negative to be honest. What do they have?
Damn, there's still a chance. There's still a chance. It's still a chance
I'm likely with this roll that fucking tires on we need a daily double or so. You got explorers
For a thousand a thousand this 13th century explorer first gave Europeans knowledge of the East after exploring the Silk Road
Shares his name with a children's game
Who's Marco Polo?
Let's go back to the Dow Jones
Jones 600 this is all you good buddy. The first of this fruity tech company stores
Dominating that category
Has gotten every question right
Jones for a thousand a thousand might see mrk as the relation for this pharmaceutical company listed on the Dow Jones
Mrk
God I know what it is. I think don't time it out. I
I have one and I don't know but if you answer I'll answer mine. Oh, you get it wrong
He's gonna leave you out to dry
No, I don't know
Buzz it out and I'll tell you mine and you tell me no is it Moderna? No
Merc
should know that I
I didn't Tyler's pig
You got 36 hundred
You can choose
Do not we are not bad
If it was a category other than Dow Jones, I'd be all for it at all you
Have 36 hundred we do we have I got the Wisconsin question
3600 3600
What I know no they have 2600, okay
600 earn some dividends by purchase purchasing the stock in this company founded in 1940 known for its speedy food service
I
Mean I'm gonna imagine
I mean, I'm just gonna I would imagine McDonald's, but I don't know for sure
McDonald's
Fuck yeah, the golden archie's mother
600 back in here
Yeah, okay
My
Guess there did I just sweep the category? We
Explorers us aircraft carriers to stastic
Aircraft here is for those might be this is not my category, bro
Not really. I'm in the fucking army. I have a Navy
I know a couple of them boat boy taught me some stuff after the United States this country has the most aircraft carriers
Fuck. Oh
What is?
Do you know all right, what?
What is China China
Yeah, Dan's pick aircraft carriers for 200
This aircraft carrier named after a president sure is that USS Kennedy
There's like 20 aircraft
This US aircraft carrier named after a president shares his name with a bridge in New York City
New York City, where's the George Washington? I was really like wait how many what are the bridges near to do whatever it is near city?
At least we came back
aircraft carriers for 400 this aircraft carrier aptly named shares its name with a North Carolina town
What is the USS Lexington? Oh, no. Oh wait, that's not North Carolina
Fuck
Say the question again. This aircraft carrier aptly named shares its name with a North Carolina town
a town not even a city
All at that time out
Kitty Hawk. Oh
Yeah, I was on the tip of my tongue
Town too, and they've got a giant memorial for the fucking aircraft carrier
The USS Yorktown was sunk in this 1943 battle
Oh, yeah, baby
And the Yorktown fucking yeah
All fairness the first time it's how it was you the cost it saw it happen
800 this
This
This carry hold up we gotta wait till it clears
Alright, let's get it. All right. This is carrier this carrier in service from 1927 to 1946 was named after a famous upstate
New York battle
Yeah, fuck hate you
I'm sorry. You got explorers and snooze test. I will do snooze task
200 after this princess was cursed. You could only awaken with a true love's kiss
Yeah, I think I think Tyler had that one sleeping beauty
I thought I beat you and my didn't even pop off. Oh mine's not popping up
I was gonna say I thought I beat you that makes sense. Yeah, mine's broken switch the four
Mine's not really
Okay
I'm now four because the two slots broken after Dan sabotaged me. Thankfully Tyler stole the answer from me on that one
for a thousand this neurological sleep disorder causes
It is my collapse fuck you in your head already. Yeah, I
Dan's
same category
400 this colonial American was said to have slept for 20 years in the castle mountain. Who is rip? Bam Winkle?
It's a great brew pub
History of it this one of this one of the seven dwarfs. We have trouble getting
Give it to me because no
We have a handicap I
Know that's me. I said it first. I put I got it
Say give it to him. We're having buzzer issues. Yeah, we'll split them. We'll split them
What the fucking point no, no, no, it's not a split. It's not a disadvantage
Maybe it's just that audio clip. All right, I'll try because we really we got a handicap
No, it's with the points. Don't split it. Don't split it. Huh? What?
Don't split it. Give it to us because he's at a disadvantage
But what's your score? What's the score?
Let's see
6100 to 4900. Yeah, just give us all of it. I mean that's still really close
Yeah, you are not that far behind
The scores are changed
To 50 to the end
Yeah, because he said give it uh, he was taking all the points for that question
Oh, so I get we can just choose to take points. Nobody gets any points for that question
Split it
600 each anyway
For 800 this stage of sleep shares its name with the
Am I not buzzing in a four now what's going on here fuck me fuck me close one is 5700 to 55
Dan you got explorers for
Whatever one you want guys explorers for 200
Well 200 names of the first two humans to set foot on the moon. Oh, yeah. Oh, we're back we cut out because
Yeah, so who got the balls buzzer question I did I think you gotta give it to Dan Neil and a buzz
Neil and buzz
I think all four of us are like
You definitely won though then you got explorers for 400 before we do this I gotta discuss something
Dan and Dan are
Negative win
They're winning they're winning now, yeah, they got
5900
Ha Casey you did some fuck shit with those boys. I just didn't give you I didn't give anybody any points for that
I don't know man
That's gonna be the question too you guys talking about don't worry roll it
Daily doubly got 5900
Oh, what do you say? We do 300 300 works
300 this spider's crawling in your wreath this
This Italian explorer who sailed for the Spanish crown first discovered the islands of Cuba hispinola and the Bahamas
Are you fucking kidding me really is it who we talked about?
I don't think so, but it could be are you fucking kidding me. Yes. It's like what explores do you know?
This Italian explorer who's sold for the Spanish crown first discovered the islands of Cuba hispinola and the Bahamas I
I think it was no cuz he wasn't Italian
I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he wasn't a British Portuguese yeah, yeah
Italian who were the fucking Italian explorers? Oh wait wait wait hold on a second
The I would have had this on shut up shut the fuck up. You shut the fuck up
So there's two brands of GPS right yes, I know Gar is a Garmin
And then there's the M1. We can't answer this question you guys can just discuss
FM Magellan because you don't have to hide it from us. We can't answer the question
He sailed around the world I know he did that
It's really cool guys you guys are talking about Justin
Beaver
Destiny that's will I
Had it now it's gone. I knew it and I was your answer to dance quick. What's that? What's the answer? What's your answer?
Justin Bieber
Shut up
What was the other GPS brand?
Fine who is Magellan?
Say who's that guy that discovered America
I
Was like hey, I don't have enough money so then the British so then the Spanish crown was like hey you could sail for us
And then he found America shut the fuck up with your god damn
Fucking hope it is
I should have made it who sailed the ocean blue
Explorers for 600 this French Explorer who founded New France is in modern-day, Quebec
Has an upstate New York Lake name after him
What is like Champlain I get I it's my buzzer you fuck with I have a shame
Lake Champlain
It's Champlain I'm taking points away for you for that
I'm gonna rape you it is Champlain. What it is Champlain. All right, it gets it wrong in a right
What is Lake Champlain
I'll be back you can pick. Oh, no, it's the last question
I buzzed in like three times this whole game
Casey can you hold your head still so I can read the questions
Edmund Hillary first
Tyler oh he was quit. He rage quit
800 Edmund Hillary was the first to reach this isolated place on earth in 1953. I
Say again Edmund Hillary was the first one to reach this isolated place on earth in 1953
Not confident enough to buzz in it's one or two places
That's my thoughts, but I don't know which one read it one more time for Tyler
Edmund Hillary was the first to reach this isolated place on earth in 1953
Do not buzz in if you don't know it do not buzz in if you don't know it
Let's point Nemo, no, it's not land
Point Nemo literally could not have been further off
You're the final jeopardy
It's the furthest place from land, but there's more isolated places in the
world
Dan score it has 5600 horse come has 4700 that's not get fucked
Give me give me your combined wagers or no like agree on a wager
I come here we're gonna discuss I'm probably gonna take a piss too. Actually all left me alone
Dan squared has Dan square is 5600 horse come has 4700 I
Don't know I don't even know how to put a category on that one
Let's just say category is America
Yeah, it's July 4th, it's almost July 4th
I'm just picking my phone and he's up since then these games going worse than that
Joe Biden's debate I should have gotten fucking champagne you fuck you guys fucking Joe Biden that fucking board
What is like shit yeah, my dude's name is like shit
Did you text me a wager
This is a buzzer what the fuck this sounds like something their heads smashed in the bottom well
I'll run through all my buzzes really quick
Dan you got your wager
So do both people get to answer or is it
Do both people get to confer on an answer
Yeah, okay, so both people get to confer on an answer
Come on come on come on and then we'll take side bars again
Doing my bass drop sound
So we both get to confer on an answer and then one of us texts
For Final Jeopardy! this US city is nicknamed the city of brotherly love
Oh come on let's just confer just a double
Hold up these two are looking back and forth
Hey, hey, hey, hey you there shut up
You guys go over there you guys
We're good
You don't know what you're talking about
Dan's trying to put some ideas in heads
Whatever you thought of it's wrong
I'm more on board than that
You got my backing with it
Fuck me
What is Philadelphia
That's correct
They bet a thousand
They bet sixty-six hundred
Horsegum says what is Philly
That's correct they bet everything but one dollar
Ninety-four hundred horsegum
One, two and you get three
That's alright that was a good one
You got a third win
I'm glad I at least contributed there because you suggested Chicago
I was like it can't be
Chicago is a windy city
You were sure about it you were like I got it let's go
I was like no we got it
Tyler's twenty second win
It was a group effort for the last question there
That was good
That was close
Close as fuck
I figured out that all I need to do to win when I bet it all is have Tyler on my team
It doesn't work when I do it alone
We came down to that wager
We were discussing that wager
That's fucking rocky bro
We went back and I was like let's discuss it and he goes well we got it bet it all
I was like yeah
It's like the fucking court's stupid
Why'd you guys only bet a thousand
I don't know I can't really think of a
Cause then I don't know
It wasn't even a discussion
That's for doing everything right
I know I'm like wait a second
These guys might bet it all so I'm gonna go one dollar
That's the thing that always goes through my head is I'm like alright if I'm the lead and I bet it all and I get the question right I am guaranteed a victory
The thing is is that I never know the last question ever
I've gotten like two ever
So I'd like to bring up this topic
If I can
Is masturbating gay
Well I can give a hand job better than any woman on the planet
Well that's the end of that episode
Wait a minute I've got the right thing for this
You're touching your own dick
You're touching a man's penis
Well I can give a hand job better than any woman on the planet
To myself
Same
I'm gonna go with a firm no on that one
I think I sent it to you at least you two on Instagram
That one fucking video
Yeah
What video?
You got me intrigued
I got a preview of you and you sent me your cock
Yeah I do
I do remember the time that Beepus sent me his dick
Oh I remember hearing about that
Dan sent me a video showing exactly his opinions on masturbation
Oh yeah
I like that
10 out of 10 it was a fantastic film
Yeah so fucking yeah Beepus sent me a picture of his cock
I remember that
That happening
Yeah and I was just like whoa nice cock bro
Wasn't that when we were still in Mohawk
Yeah it was
Yeah he was like whoa
Yeah he was trying to send it to like a Trisha
Taylor
And I'm like
Well my name's Tyler not Taylor
But nice cock dick
Nice cock dick
Nice dick you fucking cock
Nice cock fucking leg shambling
Nice shlong pal
Wonderful cock
Whose horse is that?
Alright well it's
1 o'clock and we got some stocks to buy
Unless you got anything else Dan
You want to talk about some stocks?
Nah
You sure?
There's nothing good to say
No you know who's coming back? It's Faraday Automotive
FFI
Faraday? Isn't that from like a fucking movie?
Faraday? Faraday Cage
Oh yeah
What's his name from fucking
Gardens of the Galaxy?
Star Lord?
Yeah
The hell if I know
Alright is fucking a muscular woman gay?
No
What if her abs just like rub against your dick?
Does that make you feel anything weird?
No
Why would her abs rub against your dick?
You know you're trying to like you know tit fucker
How long are her tits?
Yeah but
Training's all about tits too
It's not even that big there
How long are they to get from here to there?
Oh no she has massive tits but abs
Hell that's fine dude
That's cool
What do you think about muscular women in general?
Like very muscular women
Like to the scary point
Oh like bodybuilding women?
Well then they have no tits anymore
Because your tits go away
No sometimes they do but it's like really weird looking
Like they just have like round puffs
On like fucking actual tits
I don't like it
I think like the six packs
Like if you want a six pack
Go for it
All for that
It's the same thing as like I feel like most chicks find dudes
That are ridiculously jacked on a track
Honey dude you want to get them thunder thighs
To crush my head?
That's cool but bodybuilding is probably
One of the gayest things on the planet
Because the only people that care about your cots
And your veins are other dudes
At a certain point most chicks will just be like
That guy looks just fake
Even if it's real it's just not attractive
If you have a six pack that's enough for women
They're like oh you have a six pack?
You're athletic
I mean this was enough for me
But like if you have a six pack
A girl will be like wow you're really fit
You'll be really skinny
Like Dan over here
Dude what do you think of this chick?
Hold on a sec
Is it a chick or is it Tranny?
No this is a chick
That he made on this podcast
He thinks is a chick but in reality
She's super
Hold on let me find out what her instagram is
So I can look up her pictures
This is a video of her
What's her fucking name?
Casey you never put your opinion on this
What do you think of bodybuilding women?
Casey's gonna give a one word answer here
I could leave it or I could take it or leave it
Really?
Any further elaboration on that Casey?
No. Exactly.
What about fucking thighs that can
Crust skulls
Fucking give me more
Thighs that can crust fucking skulls
Fucking please do
But like this scary looking like
I just bought 390 million
She-Ley news
It stops
Alright I think
This episode is over
Hold on a sec
What do you think of this chick Tyler?
I think that we should bring back
Duels
Like Yu-Gi-Oh
No like gun duels
Just here
You've been scrolling through picture after picture here
I gotta see what we're talking about
You know what it's because her face is still cute
Yeah that's good
I'm all for it
That's not like freaky muscular
No she is freaky muscular
Thighs
What do you think Casey? I'm good with that
You let her wrap her thighs around your face
She can crust my fucking skull
What's her name?
Yuan Hurong
Yuan Hurong?
Yeah dude she's got fucking massive
Look at those fucking horse thighs
She looks like fucking Chung Li from fucking Street Fighter
Guys I have it
You ready for this?
This is the video that tells you if you gay
You're gay
To kiss a girl
I mean you literally kiss a girl
Who likes her balance
What the fuck?
There's multiple sounds playing
You're gay to kiss a girl
I mean you literally kiss a girl
Who likes her balance
Is he gay to look at her?
I mean you're literally checking out a man's body
Is he gay to make money?
I mean you're literally collecting pictures of other men
I'm scared
Is he gay to masturbate?
I mean you're literally touching a dude
I'm going to kick myself
Is he gay to be a man?
I mean you're literally walking around with a dude
Attached to you
Is he gay to breathe?
I mean you're literally inhaling
Particles
I want to stand up
Is he gay to
Use?
Is he gay to exist?
I mean you're literally choosing to be in a world
With so much
I need this to end right now
This is what's going through Casey's head right now
Alright
Like us on Facebook and X
Wait check the email
Send us an email
Can we check the email forever?
Yeah we didn't get an email except from Jesus Christ
Let's check it right now
Maybe someone's came through
And I quote
What did he say? Did he say he died for our sins
And now he has to die again for our sins
Something about the healing power of Jesus
In water
I thought he did wine stuff
Not water stuff
I thought he turned water into wine
What a loser
What an asshole
Where is it?
Discover Jesus's healing power
Jesus Christ can heal
Cleanse and transform us
What does it take on our part?
Faith, repentance, baptism
Gift of the Holy Ghost
And continuing to follow
Him throughout our lives
So it was a British person
It sounds like Marscon
Jesus taught in the Bible
That except man be born of water and spirit
He cannot enter the kingdom of God
What?
Damn son
That sounds pretty Jehovah
Jesus Christ was baptized
You can be too
What were you?
Not Jehovah witness
What were you?
So that's a cult right?
It's like the Mormons
It's the same level
It's definitely got a lot of cult features
For sure
That fucking
That information
Pan flip thing that you sent me was fucking
Nuts
The fucking one where it was like the apocalypse
With like fucking like
We're going to be in apocalypse
Yeah dude the fucking Jehovah
Witness apocalypse fucking thing
It was showing you like what's going to happen
In the end of days type shit
That shit was fucking nuts
It was an entire book
Yeah you sent me like it was this whole fucking
Book I'm like what the fuck is
This shit
It was nuts
The Christian Revelation book is fucking nuts
But like that's even more nuts
Yeah it's out there
Dude if you look into how the whole thing was started
Very similar to the Mormon shit
Dum dum dum dum dum
Very similar like the guy was like
The guy was into astrology and shit
Weird
Astrology not astronomy
Astronomy is the study of the stars
Astrology is that fucking zodiac sign
Bullshit
Dude he thought like he was into numerology and astrology
Weird
But what about
Did a white Indian come up to him
And tell him that Jesus died in America
No
Did you know that the
Native Americans were actually white
And they were turned red because God hated them
For some reason
Where did that come from? That was Mormonism
Wow yeah that was like an actual thing
They said that the original
Native Americans were white
And God turned their skin red
Because God hated them or they angered God
That's funny
You guys know there's like a fucking cult that's in Albany right?
Yeah there's a lot
There's like two people in my girlfriend's
Nursing class
That were part of a community
In Albany
Dude it's fucking weird
One of them is young and she just like
Escaped and her
She went to the nursing class and she's like
Yeah I'm doing this so I can go back to my community and be one
And we give her whole paychecks to them
That's a fucking cult dude
My parents really want me to be like the nurse there
Like they pay for your phone
And everything has to go through the elders
And she had
Another friend
Who was like someone
Who was older within that community
Like 35, no she was like 45
Who went through the nursing program
She passed it too
She went to one party that like
I was also at and I didn't know
I remember my girlfriend was trying to explain the
Situation it was like I was fucking
Crossed at this party I was like oh what
Oh what? Sure I'm gonna go get a
100 beer whatever and then like a couple
Months later she tells me something that's fucking crazy
I wish I jumped on this story earlier but she got like
Shit bagged that night and was trying
To drive because she wasn't familiar
With the concept of alcohol
So like she didn't understand
That she couldn't drive Wait so it didn't explain
Alcohol to her? She just didn't
Get it like it just nobody really
Inks in the community I don't know if it's like
Oh no it's completely not allowed
So it's a drive? Yeah so she didn't
Yeah you just don't really know about it
Because most people don't
So she got
So she got fucking hammered at this thing went back
And then like felt so bad that she like
Repented to the elders and now
The elders are like you are never going out to a party
Ever again
And she thought she was in
The wrong and she was never
Seen outside of class again
So what is this fucking cult?
I don't know the name of it I don't think
There is like a fucking name they go by
It's just a weird community
But like it's
It's fucking weird and like
My girlfriend is like trying to help and everybody
Who works at the hospital is trying to get her out
To help her out because she's integrating
Into society super slowly
And she also misses and wants to go back
To the community but like they don't
Want to let her back in and she's going to be
In so much trouble if she goes back
For running away this long but at the same time
She's like my mom my dad my whole family
Everybody I've known is there like
Time to meet new people losers
Like you don't have your
Like they don't really like you have a phone
But the phone is only used for
Like what you need like texting
And calling other people from the community
Like nobody goes on the internet none of that
So it's like very sheltered
So there's all these concepts
Like when she went into the
Emergency department of the hospital she and
My girlfriend both work at they
Like she started to experience life
For the first time was like
I gotta get out
Because if I don't get out now like I'm just not
Going to and then that's it like I gotta
Take the risk and just jump out of this and leave
Everything I know behind and it's like
Wait if her friend was 45
How old is this girl? She's like
Like early 20s
Yeah so like she's been in it for
A while but like she's still young enough
Where she's like if I'm doing this I gotta do it now
Because I saw what happened to her
And like if like that was
Kind of fun hanging out with you guys
And she didn't get belligerently drunk or anything
But she still got in trouble for being
There and letting that happen to her friend
Even though neither of them knew what alcohol
Was really and it was just like
So bizarre so they're like helping her
Like integrate into society it's kind
Of fucking wild like over at Stone
The Store I was like this is mad interesting like
Dude it's crazy like
When you think about how much nurses make
And she's gonna come back and give that whole paycheck
To the church she's not doing it for
The money that's the other thing is that like when they
Go out with this friend like when she was
Still like somewhat part of the community and they were
Allowing her to go out and socialize not
Knowing that she was going to bars and stuff like
She was lying about that they never would have allowed it
But like she would
Get a drink and she'd be like oh my god like they
Would give them like a one hundred
Of their paycheck like you'd be like here's 20
Bucks like and that was kind
Of like their thing so yeah so like when they
Go out and they would and they
They would rack up a tab
And she would be like oh my god
It's like two hundred dollars between
All of us like that's more than I make in a year she's
Like and then be like oh no we're fine like we'll pay for you
She's like you can't like that's
Like she has no concept of like
How much money was actually worth
And like she thought that they were like putting down like
Four years like it was just like
A nightmare to her she didn't even understand
Like she had a meltdown and people paid for
Her dinner like it's it's
Like now she's getting better slowly
But it's like she's starting to realize
That money actually yeah it's
Like she just crawled out of a vault in fall
Out like she doesn't know what the fuck is going
On why won't you be nice to people
Well that's the other
Thing is like she's also like
It's very peaceful and we all care about
One another like it's not like they they
Treat you wrong like it's everything
In Albany like but they she's also
Been in this fucking cult for her entire
Life exactly so you're brainwashed to a certain
Extent she has nothing to compare it
To yeah so but like did you
Know this is like an actual fact that
Almost every major cult had a
A significant presence in upstate New York
At one point
We talked about that on the last episode
I didn't know that
But thanks to that
That makes me feel safe about New York
So what's our cult that we're
Starting well
Well Dan's already thought about this you've talked about the
Compounds you would want to start
Would we have to bathe our initiates in
Horse cum
At least not us we've already
Done it quote unquote
What's our demographic of people we prey on
In cells
Easy oh yeah that's a good one
But that's not really a good fucking
Militia force though oh no
Actually there's a lot of pent up
Yeah dude
In cells would be the fucking perfect cult fucking
Like people just promise them
A little bit of pussy they'll do anything
For you oh dude you guys are listening
Right now in cells we're not talking about
You no you guys are the good ones we're
Not going to start manipulating you next episode
Just don't this is not subliminal
Join the cult join the cult join the cult
Join the cult
But yeah like like in cells would be the perfect
Fucking force for a cult dude what does
Everybody want pussy
Everybody wants money
Money bro money money
Money everybody wants
Money everybody wants shares of Tesla
Multi-level marketing
Fucking everyone wants water
Money women some sort of power
Some sort of belonging everybody's afraid of death
Right so you scare them
You give them some promise of the afterlife
Is everybody though
I think most people on this table have kind of accepted
Their death a long time ago
We're just kind of killing time
I mean
Me and Tyler
The day we met we were
Months into accepting our deaths
Franklin said some people die
At 25 but don't actually die
Until they're 75
You have two deaths
Shit dude I'd die the day I came out of the womb
I'm waiting for my second death it's like second breakfast
But I don't know when it's coming
I think meningitis took me out
I'm like dead from mayhem
I actually think I'm just a corpse
I think I died when I was three
Jesus you had meningitis
Meningitis
I did that's what knocked my
My left ear drum out
Damn viral or bacterial
I believe it was bacterial
Damn
Whichever one is the worst one
I'm 95% sure it was bacterial
Damn
It was a fever of 107 degrees
Blew out my left ear drum
What are we doing in this cult
What's the basis
We gotta offer something to them
What's the basis
We don't actually have to deliver on
Some promise bigger than life
No we offer them money
Kind of like heavens gate shit
Like the fucking spaceship's coming
We gotta give them a doomsday that's coming
But we gotta get their fucking money
I was gonna say let's pull a little bit of Scientology
The more you pay
The higher up you get
Here's what we get out of it
The main thing
Do you know Scientology has a navy
What? Yeah Scientology has a navy
That's kinda scary actually
They have no power don't worry
They don't have power but they have a navy
They took over a town in Florida
It's called Clearwater Florida
You can look this up
In this town
The Scientologists took over this town
And it's a fake town
They have fake
It's Nuke Town
They have fake businesses and stuff
And then if you drive through this town
You can see the Scientologists like people
That are watching you from all the windows
And they're like they're watching you from all the cameras
Sounds like Pyeongyang
Dude it's fucking nuts
Will they try to kidnap you or something?
No they just want to make sure that you're not trying to expose Scientology
Because there's been
It's already been exposed
But there's been reports of people trying to go around this town
With cameras and stuff and they just got followed home
By these fucking people and shit
So you're saying that a Google car
Should not drive through
Clearwater Florida Scientology
Can I tell you how disappointed I am
To visit Chernobyl and Pripyat
When I was younger when that was like something you could feasibly do
When we were in high school you could do that
So that window is closed
You can't just fucking walk over there
Into Ukraine now and just be like
Check out the fucking exploded
I'm waiting for Russia to bomb that entirety of Chernobyl
Again and just start another meltdown
And be like
Another one?
50,000 people used to live here
Now it's a ghost town
Yeah
I'm not sure how bad it would be
For a Google Maps car to drive through
Clearwater Florida
That's actually interesting
I'm sure one probably has
Clearwater Florida, all the businesses look like they're that
You look inside the business, there's nothing on the shelves
I mean isn't Clearwater
I thought that was a major city
It was a major city until Scientology
Took it over I think
Clearwater Beach maybe I'm thinking of
Is it Clearwater?
I don't think it's Clearwater, Clearwater is like a legit city
There's a
I thought it was called Clearwater
It would make sense, but it also wouldn't make sense
Because it's right next to St. Petersburg
Look up Scientology Florida Town
Scientology Florida Town, I think it is Clearwater
But I'm not positive
It's a big fuck off town dude
It is Clearwater?
It used to be like a tourist town too
Yeah the pier is like fucking empty
At least all the boats are up
Clearwater Beach is one of the biggest beaches
Yeah but
The actual town of Clearwater
Got taken over by Scientologists
Oh wow okay
Dude it looks creepy
It's like an actual ghost town
Wow
There's bridges and stuff between
You know how Albany Med has
The bridge between the buildings and stuff
They have that across roads and stuff
And there's dudes that are just staring at you
While you're driving down their fucking roads and shit
What the fuck? Yeah like I watched a video on it
And they like panned up and there's just dudes looking at them
Down from the fucking thing
And that was on every single one that they passed
That had the bridge
There were people staring at them
And they're all wearing the Scientology Navy fucking uniform
Wow, you should just start a fucking militia
You know I saw
Like a brand new black Tahoe
Driving down the road today
Down 90 and it had like all tinted windows
And I'm like oh that's definitely a fed vehicle
Right? Yeah
How hot would it be to just have like a fucking gang
And you just have like always with you
At all times
You just drive in a fucking pack
Just a pack of black Tahoe's
Everywhere like I don't even think the police would fuck with you
Like if you had like brand new
Shiny tinted out fucking Tahoe's
They'd be like oh those are feds
Yeah we're not gonna fuck with them
But like dude
It's insane to me that a cult can
Own a fucking town
And like a town as big as Clearwater
You know? Yeah that's fucking wild
But like it's insane to me
That like cults can get that
Powerful
Like when you think of a cult you think of like a Manson family
That has like a fucking compound in the fucking desert
Of like fucking like 40 people
And you're like okay it's a fucking whatever
But like Scientology has like
How many fucking people are in Scientology
That's the question
Like I think that fucking what's his name
Top Gun
Tom Cruise I think he got out of Scientology
He was huge in it
Yeah
He was the guy
Dude him on Oprah was one of the fucking
Strangest things I've ever seen
He's a weird dude
He's a vampire he just doesn't age
Dude it's the Scientology shit
But yeah like it's just a fucking weird thing
Yeah I think maybe
A good cult to start would be like
So
If you can get everybody else to like
To like
Farm for you
And like have like a compound
Right and have these compounds across the country
I love that word compound
So it's like a
Like a co-op right
So everybody thinks they're joining this nice
Happy thing but really
They're just get you're taking
A cut of everything they do
I was thinking more of a growing food and like
I was thinking more of a militaristic cult
It's just a pyramid scheme on a lifestyle level
Like I was like thinking like you know
Far Cry 5
Something like that
Like having like the like the militant
Like fucking guys
That are like fucking like you just create your own
City state
That's another thing like people have like a desire
To be part of a tribe
Tribalism is a thing right
So like whatever your tribe
Is right so
If you imagine if you had like
Like this co-op cult thing
Right but like at the you work
Your way up and then you get into like
More of an authority position
Right and you're the guys that drive around
In the black tahos right
So there's like so like you can like show them
Being like hey you work enough you can get up
Right right so you that's
Everybody's goal is to work their way up
To the black taho
You got like the council of us at the top
And we're just like dude what else can we do to fuck with them
The general council
Yeah council right
Yeah we can just be there and just be like what else can we do to fuck with them
Right so y'all wouldn't feel bad
Doing this
No not really
People are stupid they need guidance
Right and if you're that stupid to follow
Into something like that you deserve it
But then it's like a really like
Like make it something so that like if you're part
Of it it's like actually like
Almost like the freemasons
Right where it's like I don't know I think I just feel like
It's just shit I don't know
No if you're if people are that stupid
To do to do something like that they deserve it
Yeah but still I'd say
Darwin will need to kick in and just eliminate them
Like you're just praying on the weak
That's just I don't know
Stupid people you're using people's sense of tribalism
Which is like a weakness cause you're gonna get a lot of people
Who have never had like a style
A solid family life
But we could actually but the thing is
There's benevolent cults too
There are like it's yeah but what you guys
Are talking about is not a benevolent cult
Oh no it's not it's not at all
You're just reaping benefits off of it
So we could really provide like dude
Imagine if you're like you start off as a farmer
And you work your way
To the black Tahoe
Driver like dude
Everybody's gonna want that the black Tahoe drivers
Are gonna get all the bitches but the thing is
They get their pick of the fucking litter
So you got everybody you know raking really hard
Trying to get that black Tahoe I guess
But the thing is like we gotta
We gotta at least accept people not into
The inner council but like
Adjacent to us type thing
You know like
One step below like there but like
They're not you're not making any rules
Or anything but they feel like they're like
At like the top echelon that they can be
Like they got the what would we fucking
Call ourselves the founders
The founders and then
There's the apostles
Well that's too Christian
Yeah so
The acolytes
We could do like something like real fucking
We'll be the founders and then the general council
Is everybody else
You'll have your sentinels
The guardians
The acolytes
Or like Spartan
You could call them like different
I'm trying to play devil's advocate
For this so hard but I cannot
I cannot buy into this cult thing
Why?
Because you're praying on the weekend at the same time
I don't like cults
I don't see this world
Walking to life bro
Like you're either the prey or you're the predator
Like pick one dude
What do you want to be? Don't be sheep
What would our tenets be?
Our tenets? Yeah because we'd have to have tenets
General tenets
Our ten commandments
We need more than ten
We need some beliefs
Like could we base it on a
Actual religion
Sure every religion is based on a religion
We could say that the goal of this whole cult
Is it's
For people that are trying to better themselves
Right?
You could make it almost like you know how like
And connect with the eternal oneness
You know you have like the Andrew Tate
Like type people that are basically cult leaders
Just like on the internet
Like you could do something like along those
Lines like being like top G dude
Yeah
You want to be top G?
You want to kill what's his name Andrew Tate
And take his place in this world
Yeah you want to take out Andrew Tate
Dude can you just imagine a line
Of like ten black tahos
Just like everywhere you go
Just like and then you're the one
Physical fitness I feel like would be another thing
That we'd have to like enforce it
Right so it's like people that are like
Looking to I do not know where the black taho
Came from
I'm so lost
Because it's part of like a gang
I'm one of the founders and I'm so fucking lost
Right now
I would be a founder and just be like
I don't want to do this
I'm sitting there like what the fuck am I doing
You guys know that
This just isn't good and you're getting the shit
End of the stick right like these guys are fucking
Maniacs and they're not
No no no the true founders
I'll be like JFK to your guys CIA
And fucking take me out
Hear me out dude
They don't know what we look like
They don't know what the top
The top tier looks like
We have masks
Dude so
That was kind of an
That was kind of an evil laugh
Yes
We wear a mask so they don't know who we are
So imagine you're like
You're like raking and like shoveling
You're at the bottom echelon of this cult
And you see the founders come in
With their masking robes
Five black tahos with a
Cadillac in the middle
And then they get out they open
No no it's a Rolls Royce Phantom
In the middle
Yeah Rolls Royce Phantom in the middle
You can work your way up to that
Yeah like who wouldn't want to be like
Yeah dude I want to be one of them
Alright alright fair enough
They got bullet proof vests on they get out
They let the guy out on the Cadillac
And you just go over and you just go
You're doing good
Right and you work them up into this
Higher and higher positions they never make it to the position
You're in
Yeah cause they never could
You're still doing physical fitness
You're making snacks
You're like working out every day
5am you start you get a workout
You go out to the field you till the fields
Then you get your lunch
Then you till the field again then you do your night
Workout and then you get an hour
Of free time
That's right
Work your way through the ranks
And then the higher rank you are the more free time you have
That's right dude I like it
It's like
For self improvement
The whole point of the thing is
For self improvement
You know I'm going to save this exact episode on my phone
Because in 10
15 years
This fucking thing is going to be real
Where's my fucking founder position
Oh dude you have a permanent
Founder position
I'll be back and be like you guys really realize
That this is bad right
Like you'd be wearing
The mask too and be like
I really shouldn't be doing this
I'd be a whistle blower
But he'll be sitting there the entire time
I'm going to start it up rising
I'm going to sway Casey to my side
Would the mask be all the same or would we all get different masks
It's just like a plain
Fucking like no expression
Gold, white, just white
Like ceramic looking
Mask
That's right with the eye holes
Yeah that's not ominous
Dude
Look
We could also dress up with like white bed sheets
And a big pointy hat
No what the fuck are you talking about
See you guys really don't think
That these fucking porcelain masks
Are just going to be setting off alarm bells
No no
You don't wear them in public
This is where you do the
Why wouldn't we wear them in public
You draw the black Tahoe
You wear a bullet proof vest with a tie underneath
You look kind of like a detective but you're protecting
The founders
In the Cadillac
The bullet proof Cadillac
And then when you come back you change into a robe
And you wear the porcelain mask
So then people don't know who you are
That's right and then you have your rituals
Wait why wouldn't you wear the porcelain mask in public though
Because the public doesn't know
No that's just weird
I think the porcelain mask is just kind of weird
I don't
I don't really think it needs to blaze in or out
Of public
It's going to throw people off
You're going to scare off
Sign me the fuck up where do I put my name down
You're going to have people that are happy about it
And they're going to be like oh wow
This is a cult
You got to reel them in
Look I'm playing on your side a little bit here
They can't know they're in a cult
Until it's too late
If they find out it's a cult
They're going to run
Only for the rituals
A ritual is going to throw people off
You guys got to reel it way back in
No no no
If you have people in a room for a ritual
Maybe like three people that have
Retarded to watch the first version we find
You don't get to the rituals until you're done tilling the fields
You don't get to the ritual
To like the third level
Each month there is a ritual virgin sacrifice
And we must do that
It could be a name
We must do that
It's imperative
Everything falls apart
You have the
Purple robes
And you have the porcelain mask
And you have
A room with
Camels around it
And also the room is shaped like a
The room is shaped like an auditorium
And like a college
It has the nice seats
And you just have the people going
You have this fucking
Wolf of Wall Street
And you worship
The stock gods
It's an excuse
To have one a gang
Because who doesn't want a fucking gang
Gang gang
And two it's an excuse to have a cult
You're at the top of it, everybody's making food for you
Casey's too high for this
I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude we're just trying to start a fucking cult here
We're trying to get out of working
Allegedly this is a joke
We're joking around
We're gonna actually start a cult
And I'll be like oh fuck
Come on
I just think as soon as anybody sees a porcelain mask
They're gonna
That's why they don't see it
That's the behind the door
Okay that's the thing like
Yeah and then all of a sudden if we don't
Sacrifice a virgin
Then we're gonna pass out
Sacrifice a virgin
And everybody can commit mass suicide
Because the fucking feds are on to us
We might as well kill everybody
And hide the evidence
This is for the betterment, you're trying to better yourself
You're not sacrificing anything
So everyone has to get ripped
That's a fucking thing
It's like fight club
You get a high protein diet
There's ritual fighting
You have ritual fighting
Ritual combat
And that's how you work your way out the ranks
That's surely not gonna cause any conflict within the community
It's basically like a jiu jitsu cult
That's the thing, you can settle your differences
Like fight club in the ritual combat
Exactly, and if you kill the man
Well then you have no more conflict
Yeah there's no conflict, he's dead
You guys are literally like describing the plot line
Of like doom now
And for the record
That's a cult
No, I see no similarities
But like ritual combat
And then like the guys who win, they get showered
In riches and women
We're gonna call ourselves the Fremen
We're gonna have
Project Mayhem
We're gonna have this guy who's in charge
We're gonna call him Muad'Dib
It's two in the morning bro, we gotta wrap this shit up
It is written
We're gonna work on this
Call off the air
Jesus Christ
Look us on Facebook
And be kind to yourselves
And each other
Fuck off
I'm just
For all we know, robots have souls
We just don't know if they do or don't
How do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg
Or a robot?
You think we were the first ones to inhabit
This planet?
Fuck no
No, no, we are jumping down
This fucking rabbit hole
Yes we are
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts
Extended episodes
Where the fuck did the Siermans come from?
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from?
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
Oh, they're killing
They're killing all the already born babies
And selling them to the Chinese
Aliens exist
Somewhere in China
Alright, in some days
There are super soldiers that are at least 9 or 10 feet tall
Oh my god
Did they come from our planet?
Then they are extraterrestrials
They are aliens
I do not know
What the fuck
Are you guys mad?
We gotta go to the fucking moon
Because JFK
Got assassinated
By the fucking government
He got killed by the CIA
JFK was killed by the government
Before my eyes
While holding my head
I was thinking
Before my eyes
While holding their pulse
Feel them die of this virus
You feel bump bump bump
Nothing, they're fucking gone
I've seen it happen
I think that the government has
Taken it to the next level with the birds
They know what birds are going to cross paths with you
That you are going to be able to raise
And they are going to make them so fucking real
They're going to sink money into them
They know that if you put that motherfucker in a cage
They're going to be able to convince you
That thing is fucking real
You can cut it open, you're going to see blood, guts, no circuitry
But let me tell you, their technology
Is out to kill and violate
Which by the way big brother
Is the overlord Kiddles
We're only living in the third dimension
Oh!
He's the actual fucking ringleader for all this shit
He's fucking fucked down a whole bunch of shit
Just don't fucking get it
Everybody's like
Donald Trump the fucking word person out there
Fuck Trump right? Fuck Trump!
He's not the actual fucking leader
It's George Soros, it's Bill Gates
It's fucking Elon Musk
It's everyone out there, everybody's like
Elon Musk is so cool
Everybody's saying
Elon Musk is so cool, he made like a place for it
An actual government
Which is George Soros and all these fucking lackeys
That's the one that control fucking all of it
The clear politicians are paid off by the fucking building
The pain, fucking, loss
Fucking loss