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This program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
Welcome to the Podcast.
The Podcast is a production of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Welcome to the Podcast.
This show is sorry for anybody who's listening this far.
This show is probably worth it.
Let this play. Let this play.
This is a fucking problem.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Show of 72.
With our musical guest.
Travis Scott.
I mean, ASAP Rocky.
ASAP Rocky.
Oh, my God.
Did you say ASAP Rocky?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Isn't that his name?
ASAP Rocky.
Well, he didn't specify.
It's actually A$AP Rocky.
Well, at least...
Oh, I can't say that.
Slurred.
I didn't say it.
I'm pretty sure I heard it.
I like...
We're gonna have to bleep that.
I was singing along with the fucking song.
No, I didn't hear anything.
I think I stopped it.
I heard... Okay, well, I definitely heard the end.
Jesus.
All right. Restart it.
No, I'm joking.
Why would you fucking listen to this show?
This show is the worst that we've done so far.
All right, we'll make it better, bro.
We'll fucking make it better.
If you could come at any other substance,
what would you come?
Ketchup.
That's terrible.
Why would you do that?
Why was this such a knee-jerk game?
I don't know.
Are you fucking stupid?
Ketchup.
It's the first thing I thought about shooting out. Whip cream.
Liquid gold.
Yeah, that would work.
Yeah, chocolate syrup.
It would burn my urethra.
It would just hit the ground.
I would shoot out hydrochloric acid.
Or books on a library shelf.
Whenever I come, I just burn people.
What about straight-up hundos?
If you would just come, and it would just be like hundos coming out.
Yeah, that'd be good.
Just come dry ice.
Just come dry ice into her pussy.
Me and Dan are already come changed.
My friend.
We already come changed.
Holy fucking God.
Shut the fuck up.
Oh my God.
If you were transgender, what would be the first thing that you did?
Oh wow, I almost did a really bad knee-jerk answer to that.
Okay, okay.
Let's reword it. If you were a woman for one day, what would you do?
I don't know.
Would you stick something in your pussy just to see how it felt?
Oh yeah.
Probably.
If I was a woman for one day,
Would you have one day to figure out how that feels?
Would you like fucking dude?
No.
I'd be a lesbian.
If I was a woman for one day, I'd probably...
I don't know.
48 hours, we'll give you.
We'll give you two days.
If you have three hours.
I can't think of anything useful I would do.
What if it was three months?
Then would you fucking dude, Dan?
Three whole months?
If you were a woman for three months.
It depends on if I changed.
If I had everything else of a woman,
like the hormones of a woman,
I'm sure you wouldn't have a choice.
You'd be like, I'm gonna fuck a guy.
Right. You'd have no say in it.
I suppose in that situation,
That dick is looking real tasty right now.
I want to suck on that cock.
I'd probably take a lot of pictures of myself
and save them for when I switched back.
What if you were a hot-head?
What if it was just your face on a woman's body?
Okay, let's say this.
If you're taking pictures of yourself when you're a woman,
when you turn back into a dude,
are you gonna jerk off to those pictures?
You jerk off to yourself.
What is this devolving into?
I love it.
Okay, you turn into a woman,
you still have all the body hair that you have currently.
Would you shave it off?
Yeah. And then take pictures of myself.
What?
You have it.
You look at yourself and you still have your five o'clock shadow.
You look at me as a woman.
No, that's no good.
Am I fucking Margarita?
Oh my god.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
That's not a problem.
Ali Bagg, would you rather be on Jeopardy
or Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
I feel like if I say Who Wants to be a Millionaire,
Tyler might, I don't know,
jump off a bridge or something.
I just want to fucking win number 20.
Well, what would my bonus be?
I was thinking a 2,000 point Jeopardy bonus.
Because, you know, I like to see you win, Ali Bagg.
That's not fair.
Honey, that seems fair to me.
What do you think, Dan?
Let's play Jeopardy.
Casey, can I get that bait?
Per chance.
Oh.
Welcome back to Jeopardy.
Here with you.
19 time winner Tyler.
God, you like,
didn't want me to get my buzzer there?
What was that? I thought it was my buzzer.
Get your hand away from there,
you filthy fucking peasant.
That's my fucking Ramone.
Number 2, the Dose, Ali Mack.
The Dose-O!
Number 7, the Stockman.
Dan the Stockman.
Do you guys want to hear about vitamins or stocks?
Because I only got two fucking modes.
What about coins, bro?
And your favorite are pharmaceutical stocks.
Scratch both itches, bro.
Dan, you gotta stop.
You're fucking, you're giving this a fucking pain.
I don't think Casey can see that from where he's at right now.
We can though.
Tyler was the winner last time.
Jesus Christ!
Tyler's trying to sabotage the game right now.
Alright, the categories today are
World Cuisines.
Football.
British Invasion.
Amendments to the Constitution.
State Capitals.
Fruits and Vegetables.
Potentially.
Tyler, one last time.
Alright, what were the first two again?
World Cuisines.
Football.
Football. Oh, by the way.
It's spelled F-U-T.
Yeah, it's soccer.
That would be about soccer.
For 200, this Portuguese
footballer holds the record for most goals
scores. Who's Ronaldo?
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, Dan!
Christiano Ronaldo.
Dan's pin.
Let's go with the same category.
For 400.
Tyler, you make yourself the villain.
This Argentinian footballer
finally won his first World Cup in 2020.
Who's Lionel Messi?
You guys do know something about soccer.
I have no idea about soccer.
Keep it going.
600.
With five titles, this country has
the most World Cup wins.
What is Brazil?
Brazil.
I was going to say it, but I wasn't sure enough to put it in.
The United States of America!
I was hoping you said Brazil, because it sounded right.
Dan's pick.
800.
Manchester United, Manchester City,
and Liverpool are all teams
in this English football league.
Oh my god, I'm like
95% sure.
What is the Premier League?
Yes.
Keep it going.
I almost said MLS, and I'm like that's American.
You guys got this shit on lock.
I don't fucking know how either,
because I really don't know this shit.
4000. This English footballer
played in the MLS for the LA Galaxy
from 2007 to 2012
after leaving Real Madrid.
I'm like 95%
Wait, read it again.
The only soccer player I know is me.
Oh, I really hope this is right.
Who is David Beckham?
David Beckham.
Yeah baby! Oh my god!
Holy fuck!
The last two were pretty much guesses.
Holy fuck.
That must be how it feels
to sell a stock right there.
That's how you fucking win a category, I'm back.
We got World Pousines, British Invasion,
Amendments,
State Capitals, and Fruits and Veggies.
Let's do fruits.
Fruits and Vegetables.
200.
This British frontman was named
Farrokh Bolsera at birth.
What?
Fruits and Vegetables.
Right?
Is that the name of the category?
So the answer is always a fruit or vegetable?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
But I'm interested as to who it is.
Freddie Mercury.
Oh, he's a fruit.
Oh!
Jesus Christ.
I was thinking, is this some dude named
Potato?
Casey. Casey.
Oh no, I know what this category is now.
All right.
We're gonna go.
That's close again.
400.
You got
2200.
100.
100?
This president was paralyzed by Polio
at age 39, although he could
walk with the aid of crutches.
Come on! Oh, shit.
That's easy. I know it is. I'm gonna be really mad
if I don't get it.
Oh my god! Who the fuck was it?
I know who it was.
You fucking douchebag.
And I have to answer
because I've already wagered the points, right?
Yeah.
Might as well.
It's not Ronald Reagan. It's not Theodore Roosevelt.
No.
Is it Roosevelt?
I got no fucking idea, dude.
Who's Jimmy Carter?
I know I don't know it.
It's FDR.
Fuck! Oh my god, I did know that one.
I hate my life.
I can't think of his first name.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
So it was a Roosevelt.
I wasn't far off.
It was Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
Great, Tyler.
I guess we'll keep it going with this category.
600. This actor was the highest paid
of his colleagues on American...
What is Christopher Reeves?
No.
This actor was the highest paid
of his colleagues on American sitcom
The Big Bang Theory.
Who was gay on The Big Bang Theory?
Or who was a vegetable?
Oh, that's vegetable.
I just got that with FDR.
Yeah, that's funny.
Jim Parsons.
Who the fuck is Jim Parsons?
He plays Sheldon.
He's gay?
It doesn't surprise me.
It's like shattering news to me.
I guess we'll keep going with this.
I don't like this category,
but I want it out of the way.
800. This British scientist was the first
to set out a theory of cosmology.
What is Stephen Hawking?
Yes.
Explained by a union of the
general theory of relativity
and quantum mechanics.
I didn't even know where the question
was going to be honest.
I thought you said cosmetology
because it was fruits.
That's where my brain went. I didn't even put together
you said cosmology until he answered.
Fuck.
In addition to hosting her own talk show
from 2003 to 2022.
What is Ellen? The Generous.
How'd you get that?
This American comedian
is here on the phone finding Nemo.
That's correct, Tyler.
What are the other categories again?
World Cuisines, British
Invasion,
Amendment, State Capital.
British Invasion.
200.
Everyone knows John and Paul, but these other
two... Ringo Star
and...
Fuck, who's the other one?
Goddamn,
who's the other guy?
Fuck! Ringo Star
and...
Yeah baby!
Everybody knows John and
Paul, but these two other Beatles members
are sometimes forgotten.
Who's fucking Ringo and someone else?
I don't know who the other guy was.
I do know him. I just can't. Where's his name?
What are the two that you do know?
That everyone knows?
John Paul, Ringo, there's another guy.
John Lennon and Paul McCartney. Ringo Star
and...
Oh my god, his name is on the tip of my fucking tongue.
George Harrison. Oh my god!
Fuck me! I thought he was president.
I was going to say I could see his fucking long hair
just looking at me.
We'll do British Invasion.
400
This North American country
joined the British Commonwealth in 1931.
What is Canada?
Canada.
I was a cunt hair away from buzzing in.
Yeah, so was I.
Dan's.
Let's do cuisine, baby.
Well, cuisine through 200.
This flat, long, and thick
pasta is usually served with Alfredo sauce.
What is spaghetti?
Oh, wait, linguine.
No.
I buzzed in before you did.
It was me.
Tyler. What?
Lasagna? What is lasagna?
Lasagna. Fuck me!
No. What?
What is fettuccine? I didn't even
finish the question. Alley back, fettuccine.
Yeah, baby.
Lasagna?
You think they use lasagna?
Fettuccine Alfredo.
Not lasagna.
You never use lasagna with Alfredo.
What the fuck? You were that
you're buzzing in like crazy for that?
Fuck off. I'll kill you.
It's a flat sheet of pasta.
What?
Shut up, Alley back. I'll kill you.
Alright.
Keep it going.
400
This French disc, or the French disc
escargot features this mollusk
as the main protein.
God! Fuck your ass, snails.
Yeah, Dan.
Same category.
I'm not winning this one. It doesn't matter.
Now it doesn't matter.
600
What do I got?
1400
1400, baby. What does Alley Mac
have? 2300.
What do I have? Let's do
800. That's not awful.
800. I'll go bring me down to Tyler.
Let's do 400.
Alright, Dan.
This is hard.
Name four of the five most popularly
consumed meats in the world.
Four of the five.
But the top five
meats.
From which five animals?
Chicken,
beef, fish,
pork, goat.
Fish is not a meat.
Okay, so goat.
Alright, what's five then?
A fifth one? Or no, what's four?
What's the four? I said chicken, beef, goat,
pork. That's
correct. Yeah, bro.
That was impressive.
That was impressive. You got 400.
And it was chicken, beef,
pork, lamb, and goat.
Oh shit, you had them all.
Holy fuck. Dan.
Dan. Same category.
For 800.
This Indian dish is made with chicken,
tomatoes, cream, yogurt.
What is chicken tiki masala?
And curry.
Yeah, Dan.
It's your lucky day because the fucking stock
went up today, right? That's right, baby.
Dan's pick.
Same category. That's right, baby.
1000. This Chinese
dish was named after a 19th
century military leader in the
What is General cells? General cells.
No, I thought it was me, dude.
We both got buzzed in that fucking far off
from one another. Holy shit.
General cell chicken.
I was, I brushed at the same time, dude.
Tyler's going to hang himself.
Hold up, wait till it resets first. Tyler
buzzed in there. Dan, you got British invasion
amendments and state
capitals. Let's do
ah, dude.
Let's do the amendments.
Fuck it. 200.
The 13th amendment
passed in this year, abolished
slavery in the U.S.
Oh, fuck it was
shit.
What is
fuck it.
I'm just going to guess.
No, no, I'm not going to guess
because it's too, that's too hard because
there's a range of like five years.
I think it was this one. I'm not going to say.
1865.
Hmm.
I was going from 1850 to
1865. Dan's
pick.
Same category. 400.
The 19th amendment published
in 1919 gave this group the right
to vote. What is women?
Oh, yeah.
I didn't know where the question was going to go
until the end there.
Tyler's good.
Let's do amendments. 600.
Before the 22nd amendment
limited the president to two terms.
This was the term limit.
Oh, I don't know.
Actually,
you're not going to guess.
He buzzed in. What is four?
Four.
That was in my
I'm not going to lie. I wasn't going to
buzz in. What is five? Five.
Tyler, don't do it to yourself.
It was three. Three.
Oh my God.
Tyler, stop. What is six?
Put the brakes on. What is six?
What is unlimited?
Yes, unlimited.
I thought it was unlimited. He's going for the
negative one.
Oh my God. He is.
Holy shit. We got to go positive.
We got to go for the positive.
Actually, it was so funny. I'll play the negative
game, Dan. You got the positive.
Amendments.
Amendments for 800.
This amendment
was the only one to be later
repealed by the 21st amendment.
What is the 20th amendment, which is
prohibition?
What is the 19th amendment,
which is prohibition?
He's going for the negative one.
Is the 18th amendment, which is prohibition?
Yes.
For the record, he did say
you can't have a negative win.
I am sabotaging
myself at this point because I don't
give a shit.
Tyler's back.
Tyler has given up.
Daily Double.
You can wager up to a thousand.
How much am I in the negative?
Negative 1400.
You can wager negative 1400
if you would like. I'll wager negative 1400.
Hell yeah.
The first ten amendments to the Constitution
are known as this. What is the Bill of Rights?
Oh yeah.
Damn!
Back to zero?
You got British Invasion and State
Cavalry.
600.
The name of the state which Great Britain
is a part of, which includes
Northern Ireland.
What is the United Kingdom?
Oh yeah.
What is
Iraq?
Don't you start sabotaging
yourself. You're back in the fucking game now.
Dan's pick.
Same category.
800. Kissing or
making out is commonly referred to as
this in Britain.
Snogging?
Snog? Snobbing?
What is
fucking Frenching?
Whatever Tyler. What did you say?
What did you say?
Snogging?
What is
sniffing?
Oh my god. Tyler!
Tyler, is that a thousand dollar
question?
Michael, not much better.
What is
quenching?
What is
Alcoholics Anonymous?
Okay Tyler.
What is
snofing?
I'll be
snogging.
That was fucking close.
I said snofing, but whatever.
Dan's pick.
1000.
This British punk band formed in
1975 was led by
Oh yeah.
And now you're just taking it serious
because now that you're fucking negative
6000 in the hole.
You got state capitals.
State capitals for 10 billion.
For what? 200?
For the highest areas.
1000. Nevada.
What is
Reno? No.
What is Las Vegas?
No. What is
Henderson? Henderson
no. Oh.
What is the highest
of highs? No.
I think I know it, but it's not worth putting in.
I gotta play it
smart. Everybody's just going for it here.
What is... No, you're too late. Carson
City.
Dude.
What are my points?
You got 3200.
You're in the lead.
2300.
What does he have?
Negative 6000.
3200.
Tyler's pick.
We'll do the second highest.
800.
Oklahoma.
What is Oklahoma City?
Oh yeah.
Tyler's pick.
I'm being too fucking shy with
the buzzer. 600. Virginia.
What is Virginia City?
No.
Nice try. What is
fucking
oh what the fuck is it?
Rutgersville.
No.
I don't know.
What is Boulder Dash?
What is that Air Force base? What is Albany?
What is the hair
on the skin?
That'd be Richmond.
Richmond, North Richmond.
Tyler got 200 and 400. 400.
400. Texas.
What is Dallas?
Dallas.
What is Austin?
Austin.
He answered that before
I said Houston.
Last one for 200.
Indiana.
Indianapolis.
What is
Care Bear City?
Final Jeopardy.
Dan's got 3200. Ali Mac's got
2300.
What is
Tyler's got
negative 8000.
What is
Your wiring is fucked
down here Casey.
Your wiring is fucked.
How much do I have?
2300.
Dan has
3200.
Tyler has negative 8000.
What's the category?
Oh, the category
is uh, fuck.
Oh.
Geography.
Oh, why?
Why?
Is there so much for bet
at all? Or is it?
How much do I have?
2300.
Mmm.
What's your wager Tyler?
He's already wagered
from the start.
Oh, okay.
I'm pretty sure
if I didn't just answer a couple of bucks
I'd still be in this game.
What gives that away Tyler?
I don't know. I just think it's fine.
It's fine.
You took yourself right out of the game
though. Why'd you do that?
Because I knew I wasn't going to win this one.
You weren't down by that much. You've had bigger
comebacks than that.
You just decided you were done.
You got yourself back to zero with the double jeopardy
and then just gave up again.
What's it going to be for Dan?
I'm in a tough spot.
That's actually what I wagered.
Yeah, that's what I wagered.
That football one really fucked me.
I mean, football.
I don't know. I can't believe we went five for five
on that. That was insane.
That David Beckham one, that was such a
pot shot of a fucking catch. I cannot
believe I hit that.
If you guys actually got something wrong on that
I would have been like, alright, I'm in.
We got lucky.
That was sick. Oh shit.
I fucking choked as bad as the Rangers
dude. I gained two and three.
Yeah. The messy question I knew.
The only soccer player I thought was Hayley.
Like Premier League, that was a fucking
pot shot too.
I think the only reason
I got any of those questions
was just from going into beer garden.
Dan finally got his
wager. Alright, the
question. With a distance
of 3154
miles, 3154
miles,
this is the closest geographic US
state to Africa.
What the fuck did you just say?
With a distance
of 300, 3154
miles,
this is the closest geographic
US state to Africa.
How many?
How many miles? Yeah.
3154.
Is that all land?
To Africa?
Alright.
Hold up. Let me just get a map
in my head real quick.
You said Africa? Yeah.
That's my real answer.
I don't know geography
very well.
I really don't.
We're just throwing pot shots out
today. That's all it is.
That's fucking guesses.
Just total fucking
miles.
Dan, you look like you are hard
at work right now. I'm trying
to think of a map. Something I just saw
recently.
Are you playing GeoGuessr or something?
GeoGuessr is
GeoGuessr pisses me the fuck
off. I remember we played that in VR
chat the one time and it was infuriating.
I fucking did pretty well normally
though.
I just looked at the street signs.
I do fucking
regional at best.
I like that one, Casey.
Regional at best? Yeah.
5,000. Good album.
I'm trying to think of geography here.
Screws are turning.
Yeah, just give me a second here.
Dan's in like stock mode.
I'm feeling real stanky.
Man, this is
fucking hard.
Ketamine breaks through the fog of anxiety
and depression.
It breaks through more than that.
Ivy ketamine can cut through
the fog of anxiety and depression symptoms
leaving you feeling free and clear again.
Albany ketamine.
It's fucking...
Oh my god, this is fucking hard.
Dan's about to
fucking short circuit over
this question.
I don't know.
He's got fucking steam blowing out
his ears right now. Dan says
what is it? Massachusetts.
Dan bet
900.
He's got 2300.
Oh, the little tail off Massachusetts.
Ali back says what is Hawaii?
What?
Wait, it's closest to what?
Africa.
He's got 900
left. Tyler said what is
Maine?
Yes. It was Maine?
Hell yeah. Really?
Tyler bet negative 10 million.
But unfortunately
that loophole
was close.
Actually tell him what my second wager was.
Dan, it was
a pleasure. Oh, actually a skeleton.
Well, this
is my what number win, Casey?
Number
seven now. Number seven?
Damn. There you go.
Number seven. My
goodness.
My goodness.
It's a good day for Dan. He won at
stocks. Dan is
looking at himself in here. He's got
a grin. He's got a shit grin
on his face. Looking
around the room. He's taking a victory
lap down here right now.
You know, holy shit, if I actually
fucking did it fucking buzz in the play,
I'd probably. Yeah, why did you do that, Tyler?
I don't understand.
It was like a close game. There's still
half the categories left and you just
decided you were done. Tyler?
I had zero. I only had like fucking
twelve hundred at that point. We can't all be
winners all the time. Can we?
I actually. I'll tell you. We can't at the
stock market, right?
I'll tell you what actually happened.
I went into this trying
to throw the game and I was going to try and guess
as many wrong answers as possible.
Right? Just so I could steal everything
and go negative twenty thousand.
That was my plan. But then
like I got. I started getting them right because I was
just buzzing in and I'm like, oh, I know this.
I know this. Yeah. Oh, maybe I shouldn't
throw this. I should just play the fucking game.
That fucking soccer
category was fucking wild.
I was going for what Tyler was doing
just to like I was literally going to do that.
And then
it just. Hey, if it was if you
if Casey informed us
before our last game that the loophole was
closed, I never would have gone negative.
Yeah, I would have won.
You told me after I got Final Jeopardy
correct that the loophole was closed.
And I would make a print, my friend.
Fine print. Yeah. Well, there was
no fine print. You told me afterwards
I would have stayed positive.
All right. Well,
this was a short one.
This is a bad one. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
We still talk
about some stocks. Oh, hell yeah.
We got tomorrow.
JDZ. We got
Faraday, Finan- Automotive.
No, wait, I
didn't pull out a Faraday yet.
I left 100 in it.
Damn. You're going to lose that
100 if you don't pull it out. No, I'm good.
It's going to go up to a thousand dollars to share
tomorrow. If you do that, what makes
you say that? And if it does, Casey,
you have insider info.
You got to have faith.
Insider info. If that stock
blows up, he knows something.
Dude, I don't even know where he got that.
He's like, oh, yeah, I got it right off Robin Hood.
I did. I look it was number one
on the daily price jumps.
Dude, and you're telling me
that that's the only
information you had? Yeah. Oh my
God. So you just got in
early, you saw it jumping up in price, and you're like, oh,
fuck it. It keeps going up.
Yeah, I put a hundred dollars on it.
Then I was like, oh, it keeps going up.
Put 200 more dollars
on it. Remember Malcolm in the Middle?
I used to love that show. Yeah.
Now fucking, what's his name?
Doing fucking like NASCAR.
Who? Malcolm.
Casey, how often are you checking?
Throughout the day?
Freddie Munoz. How often are you checking
throughout the day to see where everything's going?
Well, when I woke
up, I was like looking at it obsessively
because I was seeing like if it was
going to keep going up, it was just going to fall off.
And then eventually it fell off.
So you're just sitting there like refreshing
the page or just looking at it live? It goes
automatically. Like the numbers
change like every second. I know.
And you just sit there and you just wait till
it's. So will you just burn a day?
Just like looking at that line go up?
I've burned many hours. I've burned like
three hours. So you just wait until you
just start to get the inkling of like,
oh, it's going down now. It's time to
time to pull out. Well, it was going
down and it was like, oh shit, it's not going back
up.
I should have left it in because it went back
went back up to one point nine six.
Hey, you see, what I would do
I put like I put like my
life savings on something, then go
on a call.
It just fucking plummets
and I'm fucked after.
Oh my God, that's so stressful. You know how many
people have probably like
been in that situation like
where they're looking at their fucking phone on a call.
Yeah. And they're like,
I just
got to pull the trigger.
I can't breathe.
Shut up.
Oh God, I'm losing money.
I'm losing ten fucking
grand.
That would be terrible.
Ah, dude, do not
do that to yourself. I actually
Oh, bro.
And it's like, what time is it in California?
Ah, it's four hours behind, right?
I think it's five. I could be wrong.
I made eight dollars seventy nine
cents in the last twenty minutes.
Hey, if you're listening in California, fuck
you. If you're listening in anywhere
that's not here, fuck you.
If you hate us,
email us at fucking Untitled Podcast
fucking seventy fucking gay.
Seventy three. At fucking
gmail dot fucking
Wang. I'm up.
Like us on Facebook next.
Follow us on Pornhub X Videos.
Since midnight, I'm down
thirty six cents.
You're going backwards. You're going the wrong way, bro.
This last week, I'm
up sixty five. Jerry
Springer. This last month, I'm up two hundred. Fuck that guy.
Last three months, I'm up two hundred fifty four.
More to date, I'm up four hundred.
I hope he dies. Let's see.
Starbucks, I'm up
seventeen bucks. Past year, I'm up
seven hundred eighty two. Mickey D's, I'm up
ten bucks. I'm just going to fade out the episode
right here. Verizon.
Verizon's got me
down. Verizon's got me down
eleven bucks. Look at my ear though. See, what
I do works. It works.
Damn. Be kind to
yourselves. It does. It does. Hold on, I'm not
done. Reddit.
Reddit, I'm up fifty five bucks today.
Oh, I
got a hundred and three bucks of buying power.
Guys, what am I putting my
hundred on? Let me know.
What am I putting it in? I want to see
it.
For all we know,
robots have souls. We just don't
know if they do or don't. How do you know?
Have you ever
been a cyborg or a robot?
Do you think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet?
Fuck no.
No, no, we are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole.
Yes, we are.
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts.
Extended
episodes.
Where the fuck did the Siermans come from?
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from?
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
Oh, they're killing
all the already born babies and selling
them to the Chinese.
Aliens exist as we know.
Somewhere in China,
in some days,
there are super soldiers that are at least nine or ten feet tall.
Oh my god.
They have dread
and super soldiers.
Then they are extraterrestrials. They are aliens.
Baby, baby.
I do not associate
with aliens.
Before my eyes, while holding their pulse,
feel them die of this virus.
You feel bump, bump, bump, beep,
nothing. They're fucking gone.
I've seen it happen.
I think that the government has
taken it to the next level with the birds.
They know what birds are going to cross
paths with you that you are going to be
able to raise and they are going to make them
so fucking real. They're going to sink money
into them because they know that if you
put that motherfucker in a cage, they're going to be
able to convince you that thing is fucking real.
If you cut it open, you're going to see blood cuts,
no circuitry, but let me tell you, their technology
is absolutely violent.
Which, by the way, big brother,
is the overlord.
We're only living in the third dimension!
HOOOOOO!
George Soros is an actual Nazi collaborator, okay?
I'm not fucking lying, it's fucking real.
Okay, look it up.
Look it up, he says that he was doing this shit.
George Soros actually worked with the fucking Nazis
during the Holocaust.
He says that he was doing it just to survive,
but he fucking loved it.
He was having a great fucking time doing this shit.
George Soros is the fucking devil!
Okay?
He's not fucking doing this shit.
George Soros is fucking evil.
He's the actual fucking leader for all this shit.
He's fucking fucked down a whole bunch of shit.
Just don't fucking get it, okay?
Everybody's like,
Donald Trump's the fucking word person out there!
Fuck Trump, right?
Fuck Trump!
He's not the actual fucking leader!
It's George Soros, it's Bill Gates, it's fucking Elon Musk!
It's everyone out there!
Everybody says, oh, Elon Musk is so cool!
Everybody, you're saying,
Elon Musk is so cool, he made like a place for us.
The actual government is trying.
The actual full government,
which is George Soros and all the fucking Nazis,
are actually the ones that are trying to fucking all of it.
The queer politicians are paid off by the fucking billionaires.
The gay fucking squawks got killed by the fucking billionaires.