The following program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
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This program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
Welcome to Untitled by Kat.
Fuck yourself, welcome back.
It's episode 61.
What's up?
I'm here with Dan and Tyler.
That's me.
How are you guys feeling this week?
I feel pumped up.
I'm feeling good.
Did Taylor Swift pump you up?
Yeah, yeah, I did actually.
I got a Wayne Gretzky Ranger jersey coming in.
What's that?
I got a Wayne Gretzky Ranger jersey coming in.
Oh yeah?
It's like an official one with like a so-and-so number and shit.
Very nice.
I only spent like $150.
$150?
Dude, you're moving out. You gotta save that money.
No, no, that was my last stupid purchase I said.
You gotta save that money for heat.
That shit gets expensive.
Tyler, ask Dan what you asked me about Taylor Swift.
Okay, so here's a question.
And the answer is yes.
Here's a question.
So you're up against a wall.
Yep.
Facing the wall.
But there's a large window.
It is a one-way window.
So you can see her, but she can't see you.
She's completely naked laying on the bed flicking her bean.
Yep.
If you get a boner, you get shot on the head.
Yeah, if you get a boner, you get shot on the spot.
It's like squid games.
Yeah.
Would you survive five minutes?
Yes.
Are you kidding me? Of course.
Because you'd be afraid to die.
No, I'm just not like...
I have like control over my body.
Just seeing that, yeah.
I mean, it's...
If it moves even a little.
Like you get a little hard.
I mean, dude, the wind blows the right way.
I get a little hard.
Yeah, you get shot. You're done.
You're done. You're looking at Taylor Swift.
No, it has nothing to do with it being Taylor Swift.
There's a sensor in front of your dick.
And if it touches the sensor...
Yeah, I'd pass. For how much money?
Million.
Yeah, dude. Are you kidding me?
I just pretend it's like
a medical situation and then I will not be turned on and off.
But she's like, you know, going to town.
No, no, no.
It's easy. Even if it's Taylor Swift,
I don't care who it is.
You sure?
Positive. You sure?
Positive, yeah.
I was also talking to him before the podcast.
If nuns were not celibate, it would be a problem.
We know what your
fantasies are, Tyler.
Dude, you know some of them get turned out.
You know, they got those priests in there
and they're just like surrounded by fucking
nuns and they're just...
Dude, I'm sure that some of them have just
flipped and started banging the nuns.
It's actually like a lot of older nuns were lesbians.
That's why they went and started the convent.
Same with the fucking
the priest thing. They were gays.
So they got put in there so they wouldn't...
Sorry, they were NPHs.
Non-practicing homosexuals.
But like,
what's the worst possible place
to put a fucking lesbian woman
who's not trying to be a lesbian in a place
with a bunch of hot women?
That is like the worst fucking idea ever.
I don't think that they're generally
regarded as hot.
Nuns I've always thought of as like...
Have you seen young nuns? They're fucking cute.
I don't think they exist. Yeah, they do.
Young nuns? Yeah.
Young nuns. Young nuns, they're fucking cute.
Young nuns dot com.
Yo, bringing back one of our favorite sponsors,
horsecum.com.
Oh yeah, so the Iowa caucus was this week.
Donald Trump won it without even being there.
Trump got 50% of the vote.
And he wasn't even there?
Nope.
Oh, he was in a lot.
He wasn't on the debate stage though.
At all.
Isn't the Iowa caucus like...
It's a pretty good...
It's the first caucus.
It's a pretty good indication
on what's gonna happen.
They're gonna have to put him in jail
or they're gonna have to kill him.
Dude, they took him off the ballot.
What happened with the taking him off the ballot thing?
Did he go to the fucking courts yet?
I don't know, but...
I like what some of the other
people are saying is that
if he's not on the ballot, they don't want to be on the ballot.
Which is pretty cool.
Because it's like, oh, if you're not gonna play fair,
we don't want to be a vault.
Well, Rameswamy
dropped out of the competition.
No, he didn't.
Yeah, he did. What?
He got such low numbers at the Iowa caucus,
he dropped out. So now it's down to Trump
fucking DeSantis and that fucking cunt woman.
DeSantis got second place.
With like 20%.
Haley got like 19%.
Yeah, Nikki Haley.
Dude, she's like bought and paid for.
Dude, Vivek Rameswamy
just fucking destroyed them on stage though.
He did, but then like he's brown.
Right, of course.
So the Republicans are like, he's brown, we don't like him.
Now he dropped out
and he backed Trump.
It was just funny to watch him eat his words
when he was dissing Trump
when he got desperate the last few weeks.
He wasn't really dissing him
in all his options videos.
If you're running against somebody, you have to diss them.
You can't just sing their praises
and then be like, he was awesome and I'm gonna win.
You're not gonna win like that.
It's still not as funny as when fucking
he called Ted Cruz's wife
a fucking whore or something or dog.
Trump was just like, your wife's a dog.
This is fucking from Shane Gillis, but he's just like
your wife's a dog, ugly, disgusting.
And Ted Cruz is like, you cannot
talk to me like that. In Texas, we don't
talk about people's wife like that. And in two weeks later, he's just like
He died like a dog.
Who was that?
The ISIS dude.
What the fuck?
Abu
Abu Dali
He died like a dog.
Why are you crying?
Why are you crying Abu?
Why are you crying?
I wouldn't have cried.
I just want somebody fucking
normal. The Trump shit
was like some good
times. I'd be down for a couple more years.
I just want something funny.
If you want funny, Donald Trump is going to wreck
the world, bro.
The problem is that Donald Trump is
like drill baby drill. And it's like, dude
like, is this fucking 1936?
What do you mean?
He wants to do oil.
Yeah, he wants to do oil.
Listen, listen, we're not going to be
fully electric by 2035.
There's no fucking way.
Do you want us to drill oil where? In Alaska?
Anywhere in the US. Texas,
Alaska, the middle of Manhattan.
That'd be fucking awesome.
Central Park.
Oil drill.
Wherever the fuck we can drill, he wants to drill.
And it's like, dude, and he wants
to, he's like, I will never shut down coal.
It's like, I know I've talked about this before.
Coal is not that bad. It's fucking
bad. They have clean coal now, bro.
I don't care. They have clean coal.
I don't care how clean it is. They have scrubbers, bro.
It doesn't even make any fucking
sense. It makes no sense.
They got fucking scrubbers, bro.
I don't know why. It's like even
a thing. So you want
to tell all these fucking people in Pennsylvania.
Fuck those people, dude. Fuck those people.
I have no reason to go to Pennsylvania. Dude,
all those people in Pennsylvania, they've been fucking
miners for fucking decades. And you're going to be like,
you don't got a job anymore? You said fucking miners.
Fucking miners.
Are we back on this again?
The EPC thing? No. No, but like
miners have been doing this shit
for fucking hundreds of years.
And you're going to be like, yeah, your job doesn't exist anymore.
Get the fuck out of here. Yes. That's how
when jobs are irrelevant. That's what
happens to them. You know how many people that is?
Yeah, it's a lot of people, but
fuck them, dude, because look,
here's the thing. All my research
of what human beings are supposed to eat, all right?
Human beings need to eat fish.
I don't think that this is like, it's not even debatable.
What does this have to do with
anything that we're talking about? I'm coming full
circle. So
the reason that I can't eat as
much fish as I want to eat is because
I'll get mercury poisoning if
I have more than so many servings a week of fish.
Okay. Now the reason
that the mercury gets
into the seafood supply is
from coal-fired power plants,
because they release
methyl mercury into the air, and
then the rain drops it onto the ocean,
and then the fish eat it.
You have to eat nothing but tuna every day.
Wait a second. I eat pretty
much exclusively fish. Does that
mean my mercury poisoning? Is that
why I'm insane? You might want to get your
mad as a hatter, dude. Is that
why I have mental
issues because I fucking have mercury poisoning?
It's possible. Get your mercury levels checked.
Dude, if I have super high... I'm just insane
because I have mercury poisoning. Yeah, dude.
That's where that came from, mad as a hatter, because
hatter just uses mercury in their... Yeah, they would coat their fucking
hats in mercury. Like, what the
fuck are you doing? It's part of the tanning
process or something. We don't have that much mercury, though.
But what I'm saying is like, dude,
literally, the
future of the human race... Did Joe Rogan
get mercury poisoning from fish?
Arsenic. Arsenic. Yeah. Yeah.
But it's
a really important thing, dude. We can't be burning coal.
All right, fine. If it's clean,
that's cool. But we do have to
have a plan to get off of fossil fuels.
It's just ridiculous. I just don't think
I... I don't like
electric cars. I don't like the
ability for them to get just shut down.
Yeah, but that's every car now. I know that's every fucking
car now. That's like OnStar came out in like
2000. No, but the fucking thing is with that
is like the Tesla ship. Like,
I... You know what?
I have to admit, Teslas
are more practical than I thought
that they were after talking to your friend.
Yeah. Thank you
for showing me that. They're more
practical than I thought they were. You should drive that
thing, dude. I still don't... You will not understand
it. You will not understand where
the... I literally... I didn't
mean to cut you off. Yeah. All right, when I stepped on the
pedal, I only had it down like
three quarters of the way. And there was absolutely
no reason to go any more than that.
Really? Yeah, and I was like, okay,
this is like the fastest car I've ever driven.
The accelerations... Actually, have you driven like an actual
sports car? Sports car, though?
I mean, dude, like what? Like a
Ferrari? No. I drove... I drove
a Maserati and I
drove the Ferrari before
and literally, if you feathered the gas,
you fucking accelerate to like 30.
Yeah. Like you go, whoop, it goes, whoom!
Yeah. Fucking nuts. But this is
the fucking weirdest part is that it's completely
silent. It's just
like there's no noise. There's
nothing. Because, dude, all I hear,
all right, you gotta understand, all right,
and I won't get off on this too long,
all right, from years of working
on cars, all I hear
when I hear noise, to me,
that's parts wearing out and breaking.
Right? That's friction. That's
heat loss. That boom!
That's literally
things breaking. Like, not today,
not tomorrow, but after
5,000 miles, that shit
wearing out and going bad. Like,
you don't want to... you don't want to hear it.
It's not cool. I think I gotta
change the belt because fucking that thing, when
it starts, it's like
fucking shit. Yeah, you know what doesn't
have? Belts. Electric cars.
There's like
three or four less belts that they fucking
have. Why didn't you become so
pro electric cars? I thought you were anti-electric
cars for the longest time. I'll tell you when I became...
Let me tell you when I became
pro electric car. When I was
underneath a fucking...
Years of being underneath a car,
using the impact wrench,
and just having dust fall on your fucking
eyes. You'd be like, why am I
even working on this? This part doesn't need to
exist. Dude, when I wear fucking...
When I work on cars, I wear
goggles if I'm underneath it because I don't want to get in my eyes.
I mean, Teslas break. How much
does it cost to repair a Tesla? A lot of money.
Okay, what brakes on them?
The fucking wheels. The fucking computer.
The wheels break. The wheels break?
The fucking axles break. The wheels break.
The wheels break. The axles break.
Have you ever changed
a wheel on a car? Yeah. It's a pretty
simple fucking shit. No, but like if your fucking axle
gets fucking cracked or something. That's on
regular cars too. Batteries don't last
forever. Okay, they have an eight year
hundred thousand mile warranty. There is
not a car on the market
that comes within three years of that
warranty for the drivetrain. Dude,
I have... Like how long do you want
to keep it? I have... You want to hand it down to
your great grandchildren? I have eighty thousand
miles. Making money. I bought this
car back in 2013.
Did that my great-grandson
drive it? It's like what do you want
out of it? I have a nineteen... Yes, it will
break eventually. For the love
of fucking God, it's going to break.
So listen, my grandfather has a
1947 Ford pickup truck.
And that thing still runs like
the day it was bought. Yeah, and it probably smells like
shit when he starts it up. Probably fucking
smokes, probably hits and misses
for the first fucking three minutes.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-brrrrrrrrrrrr
No, actually it's fucking smooth still.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-brrrrrrrrrrrr
It's like dude, it gets fucking how many
gallons to the fucking mile. Okay, the gas
miles on it is fucked up. Yeah, it fucking sucks.
It literally turns... It literally makes
more noise than it does motion.
And it's like dude, like
it's just from an engineering standpoint
From an engineering standpoint, it's a fucking
travesty, but from a fucking historical
standpoint, it's fucking cool. Bro, we're
always going to have internal combustion cars.
They are fucking fun.
They're fun to work on when you don't
need them. This is the difference,
okay? For motorsports...
The thing I have a fucking issue with is that
they're trying to get rid of all
fucking fossil fuel
cars. Right, but... That's the problem.
I don't have a problem with electric
cars. That's not my problem. My
problem is not being able to drive a fossil
fuel car. That's my issue with it.
Like, because fucking fine,
get electric cars and shit. I like my
gas cars. Right. Like, but
don't tell me I can't
get a gas car because
it's not good for the environment. It isn't
though. Right, it's the fact that they're
forcing you to do it. The thing is though, dude...
I don't like being forced to do anything. Literally,
the most freeing
thing in the world is to have
an electric car. It is like
dude, you can literally for eight...
Because now that you have an electric car,
the government can track your location anywhere.
Any car with a GPS, they can
track your location. Okay, make your own electric car
where it doesn't have all the electronics.
What's so hard about that? Get an older one that doesn't
have that. You don't have to
just... You can make any car electric.
They sell kits. It's
not that fucking hard. You can also rip out the
GPS on it too. Yeah, it's not that...
Dude, it's literally... But it won't
pass inspection. Eight solar panels. They actually
check for your GPS and inspections now. You know that?
What?
You know how each car has a GPS
tracker on it?
What are you talking about? You don't have to have a GPS.
Yeah, you do. What?
Any car that was made after the year, I think
2006,
has a tracker
on it so government can
fucking track you on it.
Are you sure about that?
Fact check.
You might want to look
into that because I don't think that's true.
Not that I'm doubting you, but I'm doubting you.
That's out of violation of my privacy.
Dude...
Isn't there some kind of amendment where
the government can't track you?
No, there's not.
They can do whatever... It doesn't matter if there's an
amendment. They can do whatever the fuck they want.
The Patriot Act. I do not like
that we have a fucking
meta-AI in our groom chat now.
I know. That thing's fucking weird.
It's just like... I just feel like we're being spied on.
Oh. Especially with the fucking
questions that are being asked to it.
What the fuck would you do though if
you had access to everybody's
conversations in the world? Would you look at them?
No. I don't want to...
I don't want to read
other people's conversations. I don't even
fucking want to read my
fiance's fucking text messages.
I don't even get back to my own text messages.
What would you want to know what Jeffrey Epstein's
conversations with Trump were?
Would you read that?
That's a different fucking thing.
We're talking about just standard, regular
fucking people.
My neighbor next door. I don't want to read his fucking
text messages. I don't want to fucking read
my downstairs neighbor's fucking text
messages. I don't want to fucking read anybody's fucking
text messages. I don't even want to read fucking Dan's
text messages. I don't want to fucking look at his fucking
phone and be like, oh yeah, that's what you...
Wow, that's a nice cock, Dan.
Also,
I want to get your opinion on this.
For particularly
law enforcement jobs,
do you think it is morally
justified for them to
look at your phone and everything in your
phone?
Man, that's a tough one. They do.
They do. But is it
morally justifiable?
I don't know
because what did you do before people had phones?
You had to vet them somehow.
I mean, you talk to...
I mean, the technology exists now. I don't really
think you're entitled to it.
I think that's a little much.
Because they can go through your fucking phone.
You have to...
I did
interview processes for police and stuff
and they had to go through my whole fucking phone.
And I'm like, this is fucking nuts.
I don't like this. Didn't they do that
for Ali Mack? Yeah, they did.
That's fucking strange. For an EMS
job, they made him do that. I'd tell them to go pound
salt up their ass.
I was going to apply to the place
that he did until he told me about
that. I'm like, fuck that.
I don't even have anything on my phone that's worth
fucking like, wow, this
is sketchy shit. It's just all autism
jokes. It's all stupid
jokes and stuff. And I'm like, if somebody fucking
reads this and they're fucking
not cool with jokes,
they're going to be like, oh, this guy. This guy.
Nobody's fucking business what you do on your fucking phone.
And also, the thing is, it's
another thing with the job hiring
shouldn't be subjective. It should be objective.
But if somebody's looking through
your phone, that right there
is subjective because it's up to the detective
reading your phone type shit.
Being like, hmm,
what did he mean by this joke?
It's just a government job. Wouldn't you want
a CIA
agent to have their phone
checked when they get hired?
I want my CIA agents being fucking
maniacs. If you're being
a CIA agent, I want you to be the most
fucked up person on the planet. You have to be able to trust the
people. No, you don't. You know what CIA
agents fucking do? They overthrow fucking
governments. They fucking do insane shit.
I know. But like, you would want
somebody who's fucking insane for a job.
But they're going to get their phone checks when they get the interview.
Yeah, it's fucking, it's kind of weird.
I mean, I feel like it's an invasion of
privacy and it's like not something that they
should be officially like entitled
to. Right. I believe that too.
And for the place, you know,
over here, I don't want to say
names or anything, but
that's completely unwarranted.
Absolutely, completely, 100%
unwarranted.
And I'm surprised they even get away with it, dude.
What do you mean? I, sorry.
The company that he works for.
I'm surprised that they even get away with that.
Oh yeah. That is
a problem. Yeah, because they can
see like, dude, everything that
you know, you talk about like with your
psychiatrist or your doctor.
Really? Well, yeah, I mean, dude,
if it in an email, you go,
are they going to pop open your email? Like
what the fuck? I mean, I have a work
email for my job.
I don't use it for anything else besides like
my work. Like anything, like
for Red Cross and stuff, I put it into that
email because it's like, okay, I'm using it
for this job. And
it's like fucking, it's just literally
updates from my
director of operations, open shifts
and shit. Like I don't put anything
personal on my work email.
Just because I don't want anything
personal on my work email, just in case they
have the thought to like go through
my work email. Sure, sure. Like I put
everything on, I have my work email,
I have my school email, which is pretty much my
main email. I have my
gaming email for like my video games
and stuff. And then I have
my email that I made when I was fucking six
years old. So. Tell us your email
addresses, Tyler. No.
I'm not giving you the fucking email.
You already know my email address. You send me
shit.
I'm Tyler Podcast 73 at GMO.com.
Send us a fucking email.
Yeah, it's just, it's really
strange though. Like I don't like
voyeurism, honestly. But
you know, I understand like
alright, if it's a job like the state police,
right? I've heard of them going
through people's phones and like
you know, like ripping them apart for
stuff. But
that's different because that's like, that's
a career job. Yeah. Right.
And it's like
it's almost up there.
There's levels of the state police that are on par with
FBI. Yeah. Go beyond the FBI.
So I understand that. That's
completely warranted for
an ambulance job.
It's like what?
You have the training of an LPN.
I don't understand. There's a disconnect
and there's like no end in sight. Like
a 30 year pension. Like I don't think there's
really a retirement. Like
there's no trade
off to like. So I was talking to my friend
who is a cop, who became a cop, like
who I used to work with.
And they had him do
like the questionnaire beforehand.
And like one of the things on the polygraph
test was have you ever sold
or done drugs? And he's
like, well I did weed in high school. And they fucking
ripped him on that.
They're not going to rip him on them these days.
Yeah. But like back like I think it was
in 2017.
But like when he
was doing that, like they fucking ripped him on
smoking weed in high school. Like
this is like before weed was legal. Like
in a thing. And he sold weed
when he was in high school.
And then he's just like it was
in high school. Like this isn't like how I am
as an adult. I haven't smoked in like fucking like three years.
Four or five years or
whatever it was. And he's just like
this is like that's not what
I do anymore. But you have to do that because if I
found a fucking polygraph test, you're going to
fucking spark yes for I've done drugs
or I've done yeah like so and so.
So ridiculous. And that's the polygraph
is so subjective. Oh yeah.
I think it's almost like they're just
looking for the best liars. Dude.
And like one of my friends who's a
firefighter had to take a fucking polygraph test.
What? Yeah. For
my hometown you actually have to do
a polygraph test. Get the fuck out of here. That's true.
That's an actual thing. And they ask you
fucking weird questions on there too. Like they
ask you like the basic ones. But then they just throw
weird ones in there. Like have you ever had sexual
thoughts about your mother? And he's just like no.
No.
He said the question that they
fucked him on was
did you stop having sex
with animals? And he's just like
I never started.
It's a yes or no question. And he just goes
no.
Wow. Yeah. That's fucking
crazy. Dude for a fire department.
Yeah. The fuck?
God.
But like they can get away with that because it's such
like a lucrative job that you're willing
to put up with fucking like bullshit.
Right. To get it like type shit.
Like it's like oh. And like there's people that
have been waiting their entire life to get a fucking opportunity.
So you're not screaming like what?
People it's like. Yeah.
But like there's some. People get that serious about it?
Like their entire lives. Like fucking
I know like six people that like wanted to be
firefighters since they were a kid. And they're still fucking
going for that dream. They're 26 years old.
27 years old. Wow.
Like. But like. Like there's so
I would only ever do it for the retirement.
Yeah. But there's. That is it. Not because
it's. Not because I'm like wow.
This is really my dream. Yeah. I want
to go in and spray like water on
fire. There's so. But there's
so many people that are going for the job
type thing. And if you were like. And there's
like all right.
So we're going to do.
We're going to go through your phone. You can't just be like
I'm not going to fucking let you do that because the next person
will be like absolutely. Here you go sir.
Like fucking shit. Like there's so many things that everybody
else would do that you can't just
be like no. I'm not going to do that.
Just get a new phone before you go
for the interview. Just go trick it wireless.
No. Just get like get a new
phone. Like it's like I'm due for an
update. Or for a new phone. This is
six years old. I mean dude
in six years I have fucking
said some raunchy shit
on this phone. You know what I mean?
It's like
I can't imagine
six years what this phone has seen.
You know.
I don't think I would. Just take a super magnet to it
and just fucking. I don't think I would hand it to
anybody because I don't even know what they would find.
We would both be very surprised.
Oh fuck I said that.
I'm like oh my god.
That sounds like me but I
don't remember saying that.
You said you were talking
about getting a wood chipper and
throwing dead hookers in
and letting the
blood fly over a
bridge on an overpass.
What other things on your phone would the FBI
be concerned about?
Say a job interview.
The FBI? Probably not
a whole lot. No. Just the
people around me.
Probably a lot.
Nothing illegal. Just
stuff that brings out
my moral defects I guess.
Even just the group chat. What's that?
Even just the group chat. That's what I'm talking about.
That's
precisely what I'm talking about.
So September 1st
you stated you wanted to bury a
dead hooker.
In my defense I said it would be fun
to bury a dead hooker. I didn't say I
wanted to.
In my defense.
Yeah so we got the slur jar now
where we
have to add a coin every time you
commit a slur.
Well that's all Tyler.
Tyler's the only one that's ever
slurring out here. Tyler already had
five dollars for his past sins.
Yeah that's
not enough. That ain't gonna cut it.
Sorry pal.
More like fifty bucks.
Might get us through a couple episodes.
Oh man.
So who are you voting for in the
election? Who am I
voting for? I'm probably not gonna vote honestly.
Really? Yeah you know I
just uh I don't want to contribute
to the mayhem and being that there's
only two options.
I really want to laugh. Well there's always more than two options.
I just want to laugh at people like
when the whole thing falls apart and they're just like
oh my god what happened? It's like well you
guys wanted to fucking fight with each other
and now look at it. Yeah there's the
Green Party, Libertarian.
Yeah but those aren't real options.
The Tea Party. That's like
you know
the last girl left in the bar at four in the morning.
That's like not
really an option. That's like
it's not even like on the table.
You know? Yeah.
So people just want to fight dude.
They want to fight and
people are taking advantage
of them. People in power are taking
advantage of the people that just want,
they think it's like a fucking football game.
That their team's gonna win and they don't think about
the complexities of the situation.
That there's layers of truth on both sides.
Both sides because they
think in black and white.
They don't think
that there's like another option.
Their third eye isn't open
because they're drinking fucking fluoride water.
Right. Like the one in ten like
MAGA Republicans
who uh
you know are like the classic
Trump supporter.
Right. They're so, they're so, dude
what I learned fighting with people about electric cars
online is that
they're both equally as dumb.
Like on the fringes
of both
the right and the left
you find the absolute dumbest people.
I mean it is astounding.
It's like you can't even
explain the damn, like I tried to use
math, right?
To explain to these people why.
I tried to use numbers and
it just didn't, it bounced off.
It was like a bulletproof vest. They're like
bulletproof vests for math.
It just does not penetrate.
Don't you think, isn't it like just
as bad to be like
non-decided on every issue like right in the middle?
No. Absolutely not.
It shows that, no.
It doesn't make you a fence sitter. I know what you're
thinking, right? That would make you
a fence sitter. That's not true at all. I'm not saying
that's somebody that can see both sides
of the argument. No I'm not saying like
you have some issues where you're like this way
and some issues where you're that way.
But I'm saying like someone who's like
can't decide on anything.
And is like right in the middle.
Yeah, I mean I would
call myself a little bit indecisive
on stuff, you know?
I would agree with that.
For sure. Yeah. Definitely.
Cause you have to like, sometimes you have to
like make a decision.
Yeah, I'm not good at that.
I'm like dude, like I
bought, I had this like idea
in my head. I'll give you an example.
I had this idea in my head, right? I had that little
Lexus. I still have it.
But I'm like, you know what? This thing is like
wasteful, right? Nobody cares that I
drive a Lexus. Right?
I could put this 12 grand in my bank account.
Is it a hybrid? Sell this. It is a hybrid.
Hell yeah. Hybrid gang.
Yeah. Oh, you have
a hybrid too? Yeah. See, that's a good in between.
So I'm like, I can sell
this, put 12 grand in my bank account. I'll get
a Prius. Nobody cares what you fucking drive.
So I spent all
this time looking for a Prius, dude, like a month and a half.
And I finally get one.
Finally got the wheels on it that I want.
Right? And I'm like, yeah. I'm like, I'm going
to sell this fucking Lexus and I'm going to rock this
Prius. And then
I drove the Prius for a while.
And then went back to my Lexus and I was
like, damn, this Lexus is nice.
This thing is nice to
drive. So now
because I can't make up my mind,
I put myself in a predicament where I spent
six extra thousand dollars on a
car out of my bank account.
And I have two cars and can't make up my
mind on which one I want to keep. Oh, no.
You know, because I'm like, oh, man, it's like
it's like the Lexus is
sexy, but the Prius
is practical. And like that's
that is the bane of my existence
is just
I definitely try to sell one and make some money.
I can't make up my mind
between sexy or practical
for jobs, for cars, for
everything. And I just end up somewhere in between.
You know, Prius is not very
sexy, but it's practical as fuck.
It is, you know, I like I
literally I threw like a 300 pound pellet
stove in the back. I didn't give a fuck.
There's still pellets all over
the back of my all over the back
seats. Like I just use it like a pickup truck.
I would never do that with the Lexus.
You know,
we're talking about I
know, dude, I do too. Now I
don't know. I'm like we're talking about
indecisiveness, right? In fence
sitting in politics.
But that's where the position I got myself in
with the cars is like I
I'm going to I'm just going to give you a quote
from my favorite president
of all time.
The best decision is the correct decision.
The wrong
decision is also is a wrong decision.
But the worst decision you can make is
not making it's not making a decision at all.
Damn. Say that again.
Say that one more time. I need to hear that
because I am just such an indecisive
person, dude. I
got to hear that. I got the best decision you can make
is the right decision.
The second best decision you can
make is the wrong decision. And the worst decision
you can make is not choosing anything at all.
Damn. I guess I like the worst decision.
Damn. Cause I am so
indecisive. That was I like that.
I like that quote. I like that
quote a lot. Who said that? Teddy Roosevelt.
Oh my. Wait, the one that's
on Mount Rushmore? Yes.
This is a clue to Ali Mack in the future.
Teddy Roosevelt. I'm like he's probably
one of my favorite presidents. He took
no shit from anybody.
He fucking took down the Rockefellers. He took
down fucking a whole bunch of like
we need a person like Teddy now.
Fucking Teddy went in like in one of the most
corrupt times in American history besides now.
And went in and just fucking
mopped the floor with these assholes.
He told those
fucking he told the Rockefellers.
He told the fucking
who are the other guys? There's the Rockefellers.
The fucking
god damn what the fuck were their names? Like the
rich people back then. He basically all told
them to just go fucking fuck themselves.
And they fucking
he was such a fucking like
terrifying prospect that they tried to get
him shot. And he fucking
finished the speech. Yeah.
There's assassination attempts on Teddy
Roosevelt. Really? Yeah.
And he got shot during his speech.
Shook off the bullet.
And went
you can't kill
this bull moose and continues his fucking
speech. No. Yeah. What?
Teddy Roosevelt was the fucking man.
He got where did he get shot?
In the chest.
But the thing was he followed
up the speech because he was going like off the speech
and put it into his chest pocket.
And that stopped the bullet enough where it didn't hit his heart.
Really? Paper?
Yeah. It was like a thick ass like fucking
speech. And like. Wow.
Cause he shot him like a 22. That's when they realized
they were dealing with fucking god.
And they're like oh shit.
And then he went through and he just fucking still kept
nailing them fucking to the cross.
Wow. Yeah. He did not give a shit.
Then Taft came in and just
nullified half of Teddy's fucking thing.
See that's the problem dude. But then
the thing was Teddy got so
pissed that he ran again
unaffiliated to any party. He made
a party himself and still almost won.
I feel like Trump can do that.
I feel like he doesn't need to be a Republican.
No because like fucking
they're like. He can make the truth party.
Because he gave his presidency
to Taft because he's like listen I don't
want to be the president anymore. I never really wanted to be the president
in the first place. He's like
he's from New York. He was
a fucking New York City police chief.
Then he became I think the governor of New York.
What a bad motherfucker.
He was a fucking general or colonel
in the army.
He fucking was the
commander of the Rough Riders.
Fucking basically won the Mexican
American War himself.
Came back. Was the
police chief in New York. Went around New
York when like the
police were like on night shifts.
If a cop was like taking a nap
on the job he'd beat him with his fucking night stick.
And tell him to get back to work.
And then he would fucking do like all
this insane shit. That's what they fucking need.
And then they had to fuck. Then he became
I think he was like a governor or mayor of New York.
And then like New
York State because like the Rockefellers and all those guys were
in New York. And they're like we need to get this fucking guy out of here.
Let's give him a job that really
doesn't do anything. Let's do
let's give him the vice president job.
And he's just like vice president that
sounds good. And then Teddy Roosevelt was
on a hunting trip in the Adirondacks.
When his when I forgot
which president was that was like he was the VP
for. But he got killed.
And he was
and he learned that he was the president in a
fucking train station in upstate New York.
And he just goes
well let's get to work.
Damn. And then just took
down a whole bunch of fucking garbage. What is it? I gotta
read about this guy. Teddy Roosevelt.
Because I feel like I need that kind of energy in my life.
You know. He also has another great
fucking line of talk softly
and carry a big stick. Right.
Right. Teddy that's actually
the only thing I knew about him. No. No.
And there's also the speech of
the man in the arena. It's one of my fucking favorite
fucking things. Oh my
God. Teddy Roosevelt.
You ever see that guy who
threw his shoes at Bush.
Yeah. When he was giving the speech. Yeah of course.
That was so funny.
Yeah. And he just dude he
dipped. That was pretty good.
George Bush was an athlete. The man
in the arena. The speech.
It's not the critic who counts.
Not the man who points out how
the strong man stumbles.
Or where the doers of deeds could
have done better than that. Could have
done better than that.
Fuck. I fucked that up. Sorry.
Or whether the doer
of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually
in the arena. Whose face is mirrored
by dust and sweat and blood.
Who strives valiantly.
Who hears and who comes short
again and again.
Who spends himself in a worthy
cause. And who is at
the eh. Who at the best
knows in the end the triumph of the
high achievement. And at the worst
the worst if he fails at least he fails
while daring greatly.
So if his place shall never be
with those cold and timid souls
who neither know victory nor defeat.
Damn.
So basically that's just being this like
make your choices.
Right. Make in and live
with the consequences of your choices because
at least they're your choices. I want to look into
dude I always like
I always like looking into
like people's personal lives. Teddy
was born
at the runt of his family. He actually had
a deformity where one of his arms was shorter than
his other arm. Oh shit.
And he was born with asthma. And his
dad would constantly ridicule him because he had
asthma. And then he became. You god damn
you can't breathe. It's good for nothing
little runt. God damn it.
And he became a football player.
He was a really good football
player and an avid hunter.
And then he went to
the military became like a fucking
super high ranking officer. Ran
the Rough Riders and won the Mexican
American War pretty much himself.
His daughter and his
wife died like within a week of each other.
Jesus fuck. And he
said that like
they interviewed him after that happened.
And he just goes my whole world is
gone. Damn.
And then he just like said let's
get to work. Let's get to work.
This guy was a bad motherfucker.
Wow. They don't make people like him anymore.
No they don't dude. No
it's because of fucking micro plastics and the fucking
water bottles. Oh yeah I saw that
study this week where like they
found out the number of micro plastics
and like food and like drinks and stuff
has gone up. It's like everything
that was a conspiracy theory five years
ago. The news comes out
like five years later on the dot.
Everything that I've said comes true. Right.
They're just like. Listen to the first episode of this podcast.
Just I bet you could look in Alex
on Alex Jones's podcast on
Infowars and he would
say that there's micro
plastics in the fucking. Oh he did.
Like fucking 10, 15 years ago. Everything
the guy says comes true. It is.
He talks about a
pedophile island. Ran by the
like they said there's a pedophile
island that the elites all went to.
Fucking 20, 22
years ago.
Geez. Dude the guy is like
he's not. But then he also talks about
pig human hybrids.
Hey look I'm.
I don't know I've tasted some funny things while I was eating
some pork chops so I'm not so
convinced. Do you know what people taste like?
It tasted a little off
to me. What do you think people taste like?
I don't eat meat so I don't know. If you smelled
people. I was thinking this today. I was
getting hungry. I've talked to firefighters. You smelled
people burning. It smells like burnt steak.
I knew it. I knew it.
I knew you wouldn't be able to tell.
That's pretty gross.
Do not replace the word the
letter I with E in the word six.
Jeffrey. Jeffrey Domer
said that people with
people with tattoos didn't taste
good. Yeah they did.
I'm terrified of cannibalism.
I don't know why. Really?
That I'm terrified of cannibalism. So I want to get
my entire skin tone tattooed on me.
Oh you're afraid of other people eating you?
Yes. Well dude
I mean look they say
we're nine meals away from anarchy.
At any given time.
Have you ever gotten really hungry?
It's fucking good. Oh yeah dude.
I used to practice
some serious fasting.
Dude you don't eat carbohydrates
for fucking two years.
You actually get to a point where you
stop getting hungry. But
initially it's like your body goes
crazy. And I mean
you'll just about
you'll see somebody just standing across from you at
a grocery store and you're like I want to eat you.
Yeah.
Theo Vahn have you ever seen that skin he talks
about? He says I bet
if nobody was looking I could come down this
Viet. There's a Vietnamese
kid. He's like I could eat this young
fella. He's like I got so hungry.
There's like a cart
there's a lot of intense
carb cravings on keto.
On the keto diet you know.
Yeah. Would you just like crave bread?
So I've done like
really like
hardcore religious fasting
a couple times. Forty days in the desert.
So like I
wanted to see how far I could go on like just literally
like bread and water.
I lasted like four days. Like I was like
wanting to like rip off like bread and
water. Are you trying to be Jesus?
That's a pretty good... That's not even
fasting. Are you fucking an idiot? No no like
I could eat bread and water
dude for fucking years.
I'd have three pieces of toast a day.
I could do that. Yeah three pieces
of toast and I'd have some water. I could easily
do that. I lost like fucking
thirty pounds. Oh I'm sure.
Yeah.
Like my friends like literally thought that I
had like cancer or something because like I lost
so much weight in forty days.
You did it for forty? Forty?
I did.
I did and I because... Yeah this is
some biblical shit.
Did the devil meet you in the desert?
But like
if you do it
on Sundays for
Lent you can... It's like a rest day for Lent.
So I'd eaten shit on Sundays
but then like the rest of the days I would just fucking do like
three pieces of toast. Damn.
Little bit of butter on it and
water. That's how you get ripped up.
Dude I just drank so much
fucking water because I was like so hungry
but I was like I just want to do the
fasting shit. The problem with that is like you'll
piss out your electrolytes
if you're not replacing them.
No I would have like a Gatorade like here and there
type thing. It's not enough.
Just not enough.
I would do that but like I'm
thinking about doing like
pretty hardcore fasting for
Lent this year.
It starts on Valentine's Day actually.
Hmm. So.
Lent? Lent.
You don't know what fucking
Lent is? I know what Lent is.
When you stop fucking eating
meat. Give up something
or some shit. So technically
you're supposed to fast and give up... I thought it was the stuff
in the dryer.
Technically you're supposed to fast and give up
like things
things that like are like you know
more sinful or
hurtful.
But also
the meat thing is only on Fridays. You can't eat
meat at all on Fridays. If you're
over the age of 13 years old.
Who the fuck comes up with these rules?
If it's a full day
over the age of 13.
And there's a full build
on the 28th day of the month.
Who made
these fucking rules?
Technically in
Christian religion you're not supposed to eat meat on Friday at all.
But like during
Lent that's when they really
like to force it. So in the Christian religion
based on a pagan calendar
on a day
named after a pagan god.
You can't.
The fucking Gregorian calendar
was made by
fucking monks you fucking idiots.
It's called the Gregorian calendar.
No it's a... They're named after
pagan gods. Yeah.
But it was fucking the Gregorian calendar.
Who came up with the Gregorian calendar?
What does Friday mean though?
It's fucking... It's gonna come up with
Freya day.
Fucking for the fucking whore god
of fucking... Yes it is.
So why wouldn't they have their own
calendar? And fucking Thor's day.
So God obviously isn't the one that said on
this day because it's a pagan calendar.
Why
aren't there fucking...
Why aren't there 15
days in a week?
That'd be nice. Why aren't there 3 days in a week?
Who says a week is 7 days
long? The Sumerians were the ones
that created the calendar. The first
use of calendars were in Mesopotamia during
the Bronze Age. The calendar had
29 or 30 days and a 12 month
year.
So there's like 6 different people
that claim to have invented the calendar.
I'm reading this right now.
The Egyptians, the Sumerians,
Pope Gregory the 13th.
My boy. Friday
word origin.
Doesn't matter what the fucking word origin
is. It means
named after the Germanic goddess Freya.
Yeah. Fucking whore.
Wife of the supreme god Odin.
And goddess of married love.
Isn't Odin
associated with the occult?
Odin is fucking
Norse pagan.
So it's pagan.
You can't make this shit up.
Odin is like Odin, Thor,
Loki, Freya.
So why is it according to
a pagan calendar? You can't on that day.
What makes
today, today's Thursday?
One of the popes said it. I don't fucking know.
The fucking popes. What are the popes?
God damn it. Those fucking popes.
Oh my lord. The fucking
pope. God damn it.
Oh he's on the way. Who?
Ali Matt. No he's not. That's what he said.
I don't believe it when I fucking see it.
Did you hear this
on? You should try this though.
You can smell it. Just smell how clean it is.
Alright I'll smell it.
I'll have a flashback.
God I do, dude, I love Red Bull
and Vodka. That's my drink of choice.
When I drink vodka, I love Red Bull
and Vodka. I fucking love
it dude. You should do some, you should have some
on the podcast. Red Bull and Vodka.
I told you.
It's like a fucking Four Loko. Remember when
when actual Four Loko's
were around? Like the ones that actually
killed people. We gotta have a podcast
where Dan gets really fucked up.
So do I. We gotta
have one where I get fucked up.
I haven't touched actual
alcohol getting drunk in
over three years. I haven't
been drunk in over three years. Yeah I probably
about the same dude. Actually
it's probably more.
I don't even remember the last time.
When Vanguard came out was the last time I got
drunk. I got fucking plastered.
Had an incident
on the voice
comms.
And then I threw up for like the next three hours.
I don't remember the last time.
I passed out on my toilet throwing up.
Woke up, threw up again.
Passed out again.
And then I woke up.
Went back to my bed and went to sleep.
I said I'm never doing this again.
And I haven't. I haven't.
Cause that was brutal. Cause I fucking
one of these
I drank all of it. Jesus fuck.
What percent alcohol
is vodka?
80? 40? 40?
So it's
100?
Or it's 80%? 40%
alcohol by volume.
Damn.
I've had stuff. What's the highest proof you've ever had?
Casey, Alimak
wants to know if he can spend the night at your house.
Of course.
I don't know. I know they make like
Everclear which is 95%.
Oh, Everclear is brutal. Yeah dude.
Grain alcohol of any sort.
I used to get Graves grain alcohol, dude.
Dude, I have that. It sucks.
Yeah, it's got the triple X on it.
Yeah, dude, it hurts so bad.
It tastes... Dude, like my body
literally recoils when I drink it cause it
feels like I'm drinking poison. Dude, you
are. Quite literally.
Like, dude, you
have to be so careful with that stuff cause you
can kill yourself. Oh yeah.
If you overdid it, you could just
easy... I mean, dude, I got drunk off
basically, like off this water bottle,
right? Yeah. Just this much in a
Gatorade bottle. Of Everclear.
Just hammered. Dude, who's that guy that drinks
like whole bottles of
Everclear? Like, he like slams it.
Shoe Nice? What a douchebag.
What kind of fucking douchebag would do
something like that? He goes, he drinks the whole...
He's actually at the Fountain Day Riot.
He's got to like throw it up or something.
Remember the Fountain Day Riot in New Albany? Yeah, he does.
Yeah, that'll kill you. Yeah, he would die.
No, but remember the Fountain Day Riot
in New Albany? Ah, no.
That's why they don't have the Fountain Day
anymore is because they had a riot because...
Oh yeah. Yeah.
He was there during the Fountain Day Riot.
Nice. Who is this guy? He's like a
YouTuber that's like straight up homeless now,
but like he's... I wonder why.
He used to like drink
bottles of Everclear, fucking
eat glue, fucking...
He ate a pair of headphones,
like the Apple fucking
standard ones. He ate an entire pair
of them. Jesus. Like look up a video
of ShoeNice there, Jamie, real quick.
What a jerk off.
Like ShoeNice eating glue
or something.
But like he's also mentally
deranged. I would not have
gathered that from the information you told me.
Yeah, he's
fucking... He's insane. Like
look at the video over there.
Go over and look at the video.
He's such a retard.
Where is he from?
I think he's actually from
the station, Mark. I don't know exactly where, but...
Everclear.
Green alcohol.
We should do
shots of that on the podcast.
Dude, that
sounds like an awful idea.
You guys can drink
grain alcohol.
I'll smoke some weed and I'll white out.
He'll green out.
Yeah, I'll green out. That's what I mean.
Yeah, dude. He fucking like does like
the hurricane shit and like...
Oh no. Oh my
God. Oh my God.
That's brutal. Oh my
God.
If Ali Vak does this
on the podcast,
I'll give him some money.
No, no. This guy legitimately does this shit.
He's fucking awesome.
Like he was on Tosh...
He was on Price Point House.
He'll eat glue,
he'll eat headphones, he'll eat like an entire
like stick of Old Spice
like fucking like...
Wow.
I can't believe he's homeless.
Like, I was fucking like
one time, just once,
I like, I sniffed
my anti-perspirant
deodorant and like my tongue
was out when I was doing it. So I go like this.
Like I was like doing something and I went like
dude, my tongue felt like it was on fire.
Yeah, and I think you put that
on your skin. Yeah.
But like it's
what the fuck, hydrophobic I think it is.
Where it doesn't allow like water
like perspirant to come out. So it was
on my tongue and it was like
it like made it so dry
that like I literally had to keep
pounding water for my tongue to like get like
wet. Yeah, those things are fucking
rough. I never use
anti-perspirant. I always use like just like the
standard like stick. Not like
the gel, but like the like the
you know, the clear stick.
Right. Like it's not like, it's like still
solid when you put it on. Right.
Or like the Old Spice ones like blue
or gray. Like I just, I go like
that. Also, I use like a natural
one and they don't
last, but like I mean
well, I mean they last
about eight hours. You'd really have to like reapply
it, but there's a lot of chemicals and shit.
I love, I absolutely love
Old Spice Timber. I don't know if you've ever
smelled that. Oh yeah, yeah. Old Spice
Timber. I use it as my body wash,
my deodorant
and then I use tea tree
oil for my hair. Nice.
And together that smell like my girlfriend
fucking loves it.
Or fiance now, sorry.
My fiance loves it.
And then like I use Polo
Red Cologne
and that
like smell together. Like when I was like
in the dating field, women were like, you smell
fucking amazing. Damn.
Like I would do that, like that would
be like my, like my, like my just go to like
thing and they're like, wow.
Like it
was like weird because like people like they just go
you smell really good.
Damn. Well I'll have to get that combination.
He'll have to write it down for me.
Damn. Tyler said
tea tree oil in the hair.
It's the, on Amazon it's literally
called generic, like the brand's called
generic tea tree oil.
And I use the
conditioner that's also the same scent
from the same brand.
And I do that. I put the
I put the
I wash my hair off with the tea
tree oil. I wash it out.
Then I put the conditioner in my hair.
Then I wash my body off with the timber.
After I wash my body
off, it's like about three to five
minutes. Then I wash the conditioner out of my hair.
My hair is really nice after that.
There's a whole
process.
Personal hygiene with Tyler Lee.
And then I get out. I put on, I put on
my timber deodorant. Then I go
and I put on my cologne.
Set.
Or Polo Black.
Polo Black is another good smell with that.
I don't know why.
Polo Cologne I really like.
I went through a bunch
of cologne, just smelling like a whole
bunch of them, trying to figure out which smell
I like the best. Polo
I don't like Polo Blue.
Polo Blue is kind of like a weird
spice smell to it.
Polo Red
has got a fresh
crisp smell to it. And then Polo Black
has a more
I say my Polo Red is
for daily stuff. My Polo Black
is for when I actually go out and do
I wear a suit. If I'm wearing a suit
I'm wearing Polo Black. If I'm wearing
fucking what I'm wearing right now, I'll wear Polo Red.
It's one of those things.
But
that's just kind of what I do
for smells. I just like being clean.
And then for
oh, I forgot
aftershave too.
I shave my face with the standard stuff.
Then I put on
aftershave. It's a
barber only brand, but you can get it on Amazon.
It's called
fucking like...
It's barber only, but you can get it
on the store that everybody can shop at.
You know how they used to
have stores that
were like, literally you had to have a barber license
to shop at? It used to only be at
those stores we can get on Amazon now.
Tyler, I hope you're going to write this step by step guide
down for all our viewers.
Could you please write this down?
I'll give you a little
travel size of each one.
See how you like it.
Sampler.
Yeah, I like
How does it smell like Tyler Lee?
I like Gucci. I have this one. It's
Gucci Guilty. This cologne.
I've smelled that. It's alright. I like it.
I like it a lot.
What's the one, the Johnny Depp one?
Oh yeah, like this. It's Armani I think.
Have you ever seen the one that's like a fucking
cylinder for a revolver?
It's called Outlaw or something. I don't
like the way it smells, but the bottle is fucking hilarious.
It literally looks like a cylinder for a revolver.
Right, they probably sell so many just because of that.
It's like half marketing, dude.
But the thing is with colognes
is that
I was listening to this one Stanford
scientist. He was saying that they
put a tremendous amount of research
into pheromones. Really?
Oh yeah. Have you ever walked by
a not so great looking chick
that had an amazing
perfume?
That's pheromones, dude.
I think each cologne has a different type
of pheromone in it too.
They don't have to say the ingredients.
Because I was
me and my girl, my
fiancee, it's hard to get used to saying that.
Me and my fiancee were out shopping
four colognes specifically.
We were going through and I was like
I don't like that one. That one smells like a
grandma cologne. That one's weird.
Or a perfume that smells like that. Then there was
a one. And I'm like
ooo.
When you smell something
and it perks your ears
perk up because you smell something.
I smelled that one.
When you change your pants.
But she did the same thing
with the two colognes.
The two colognes that I got, the polo ones.
She's like I hate that smell. I hate that one.
Then she smelled that one. She's like oh.
You gotta have
the girl tell you which one is good.
Because you might be like oh this
smells really good. And it's like
okay that's what do you want to attract other dudes?
It's like you want to have
the girl pick out the perfume
while she's off birth control.
Not during her period.
I just made that up.
There's probably something to that.
So what do you use for soap
and shampoo and stuff?
Lately, there was this one
Renapier. It's the cheapest
natural soap that they have at Wal-Mart.
Whole Foods.
It's just a really common one.
They have some pretty
my favorite scent that they have
is tea tree oil. The one you use in your hair.
It's pretty good. And it's cheap. I vetted
all the ingredients. There's no shit in it.
But
lately I've been using Native.
They sell it at Wal-Mart and it's got
all good ingredients. Because dude that stuff
is like it's actually really important what you put
on your skin. Because it absorbs
through your skin
no problem. I would never use an
aluminum based deodorant. Ever.
It's just ridiculous. And a lot
of these chemicals are endocrine
disrupting chemicals. So they literally
compete with hormones in your body.
As long as it smells good I'm like whatever.
Right. But I mean you want to trade off
like it smells good for like
you're literally putting chemicals in your bloodstream.
That are like blocking
testosterone receptors on your testicles.
Like I'm not about that life
dude. So Casey what do you
use? I go outside my backyard
and scrub myself with a fucking
evergreen tree brush.
It's actually probably you could probably make some good
sense with that. Yeah. Yeah. You could probably
take pine cones and like reduce it down on the stove.
Pine scented. Yeah.
It makes them fucking dope. You know what I fucking love
is fucking pine soul. I love
the smell of pine soul. Really? I think it's because it reminds me
of my grandma's house. Like her house.
She fucking used
she cleans her floor so fucking much
I shit you not. This isn't a
joke. You can see your reflection in the floor.
Wow. Like it's
fucking nuts. And it's a carpet.
And it's a carpet. Yeah.
Damn. Like she's like my grandmother
is such a fucking neat freak. That
like her wood floors are like
mirrors. Wow.
Her house constantly smells like
winter fresh gum and
pine soul. Fucking
OCD. Oh like absolutely
she has OCD. Like
if you fucking like go like if her
if this is on like her fucking like
her mantle and you go like
that she'll notice it.
She'll go over and just go
damn. Like it's fucking nuts.
I gotta touch that but it's
more like just like compulsively
checking things. Like dude I
always like walk by this one light switch at my
house and turn it off
even though I can physically see the lights off.
It's just like a thing I reach out and like do it. Like
well do like a triple checking
things before I leave the house. You know what's like you know what like
really pisses me off. Like. And this
makes it way worse. You know what like really
pisses me off. If you go into a room that has
like multiple light switches and the lights
off but the one is in the on
position. So then you go and turn that off
and it turns the light back on. And I
it's like a fucking constant back and forth.
But like it
it fucks me up like when I see
the lights on and it says in the off
position. Yeah. And I'm like
fuck. Off position.
What the fuck.
Fuck. Alright we should take a
break. Yeah let's take a break.
Alright a word from our sponsors.
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Untitled podcast.
What was the other one?
Young Nuns. Young Nuns.com.
A subsidiary
company of Horsecom.com.
We'll
be back. I hope my
family never finds this podcast.
Welcome back to Untitled Podcast.
I'm here though.
Yeah.
Rick Ross.
That's the one guy
I never would have gotten.
So I got this
question.
Hit there huh?
I fucking love this song.
So uh. Question.
So.
So what situation you're in?
You're on a wall facing a wall
with a sensor. Okay?
There's a one way glass mirror.
Alright. You're looking through the one way.
Do you know it's
one way? Yes. You're looking
through it. On the other side of the window
is a completely naked Taylor Swift
flicking the beam. Okay? Alright.
Your penis
gets hard at all. You get shot.
It doesn't get hard
for five minutes. I wouldn't have anything
to worry about. You got a million dollars.
I fucking hate that bitch.
If I'm being that honest with you.
I fucking hate that bitch. You hate
Taylor Swift? Yeah dude. I don't find her attractive
in this life. I think she's the fucking.
She's an Aryan goddess okay? No.
No. I think she's a fucking bitch.
Alright. I'll just come out and say
that shit. I was getting amped up to some T-Swift.
I'm not.
This is what I was just going to say
out of the car. Yeah. This gets you amped up.
This doesn't get you amped up?
No.
Oh my god.
I said there's other songs
that go for it.
You get me amped up?
Fuckin' love this shit.
So. Second question.
That you wanted to answer. You're such a bitch.
So do you think that. I fucking hate her.
Do you think that women have the same like
post-nut clarity that we do?
Like you know how when you feel like fucking like
guilty. That was your question.
I know my answer. I'll let everyone
answer. Yeah cause like
when you just sit there like after sex
like you fucking nutted. They nutted.
You both came. They're like
oh I can go for more. I'm just like
I've done awful
things with my hands.
I agree with you. I agree with
everything you just said.
Cause that's how it is. I will say that they
don't have post-nut clarity.
They're just like. They're like is that it?
Nothing changes. Is that it?
Which tells me that. You're
35 minutes a cock. That's it?
You got nothing else? There's
nothing else in the tank you fucking asshole.
And I'm just sitting there and I'm like the things I've done
with these hands.
I've done things.
Uh. Hello? Hello?
We're good? Yeah. Is there
an echo? I'll shut the fuck up for a little bit.
There's a quote about that.
There's an echo. There is an echo?
There is?
We're back. Good crew.
We're back.
There's a uh.
What was it? I don't know the psychologist
but his name is Schopenhauer.
Schopenhauer?
No. Schopenhauer.
Post orgasm moment of clarity.
The devil's laughter.
Oof. Right?
Guilt. Right? Isn't that like a lot of
guy? I don't know.
Even after like I'm engaged
to this person now. And I
like you know obviously.
You still get it though right? Yeah. Like I'm engaged
to this. I'm engaged to my
fiance now. And like still
after sex I'm just like
I feel like. I think Jeffrey Epstein felt
that clarity guilt.
No. I'm trying to hear
all of this. Yeah no I'm just like
I'm sitting there like afterwards like
dude I shit you not. Like after sex like you know
how like women always want to fucking cuddle.
I just like sit at the edge of my bed just like
dude I fucking hate it.
I fucking hate it man.
You ever just want to take a shower?
I do. That happens to everybody.
Oh every time. Like she was like
hey come cuddle. I'm like I need to
wash myself off. I mean Dan
I'd love to say I wish I'd take a
shower. I'd love to say I wish I'd take
a shower but I'm the one doing all the work.
There ain't enough energy to take a shower.
No like. I just want to go to the fucking bathroom.
I shit you not. I shit you not. Get the fuck off
me. Just let me go to bed and it's like
woooooo.
Fuck you hell man.
I lay there
just like breathing heavily for like five minutes.
And then she's like
okay and she's still there. I'm like can you just please
get off me. It like hurts now.
Yeah. Like you know like
when it's like still in there and like. Yeah.
Oh and she fucking is like don't take it out.
Don't take it out. It's like I would rather
be in any position other than the one
I'm in. Like can you please
just let me slip onto my back.
This goes from being like the best thing ever.
This is the greatest thing ever to being like
what have I done. Like when
Anakin's just like what have I done.
Why do our brains work that
way dude. It's so fucking weird.
I think it works that way because
pleasure is on a pain.
It's like a pain
pleasure balance with dopamine.
So if
it goes too far in one direction
it swings back the other way.
So all of a sudden
you have a chemical that comes and
blocks those pleasure chemicals.
You see. Yeah. So it like doesn't
what's the word I'm looking for.
It's like it's like prolactin
stops you from having a refractory
it like increases the refractory period.
But you know what sucks though is like
like I feel especially
bad if it's like especially like
rough like intercourse.
Because like you know when you're sitting there. That's true.
Like I feel like especially I'm like
are you OK. Like did I hurt you.
I mean not for the same
reason as for me it's like after you
get done with an intense
fucking session it's like she'll
always be like hey can you rub my back.
And it's like fuck. Can
I fucking take a nap.
I feel like
a dickhead there.
It's like I'd love to give you a fucking
back rub. You're cool.
We just did that. It was really fun.
But also after I came
a lot of shit changed in my head.
Chemically. So like also
can you give me like five minutes to fucking
recuperate. And then I'd
love to give you a back rub.
I'd love to give you a back rub. I love my life.
Can you just give me five minutes my love.
You're so
precious aren't you my love.
Get the fuck off me for five
minutes though please for the love of God.
Have you ever done a thing where
Ali Maxx I'm in a mood.
You ever
do the thing like where she's
riling you up all day in like positions
that like you can't do anything like during
like when you're like just walking around like a mall or something
like she's doing shit like just to provoke
you like all day like building you up
till when you get home. Like fucking edging you.
And she claims she ain't even doing it.
Yeah and then you do. She's like what.
But then like you fucking go hard. What do you mean. I just am fucking
angry afterwards. Like I'm like I need like fucking
like ten minutes or I'm gonna fucking punch you.
I'm just like hey like I get like
done. I'm like fucking like so
fucking. I don't know if I was gonna go that
way with it. No because like for me
like like like I've been
angry after sex a few times.
Like specifically like like when she's like
like do it like rougher with me.
Like there's like something that like switches
in my brain where I'm just like aggressive
like thing. Like like I'm
like like afterwards I'm just like
so I'll be us.
For me like if it's like
aggressive sex that switch
typically flips back to like
docile once I come.
No. Like if I'm going fucking
ham on that shit
I come it's like all right
all right we can calm down.
I literally like let the parasympathetic
system
run its course.
I was sympathetic for a little bit there.
We're gonna go back to parasympathetic. We're good.
Rest and digest baby. Rest digest
and fuck. That's where we're going bro.
I went to like I went to like fucking like
do it like we like we were in
I know what I'm saying.
We were in New York City and like she was like just
doing shit to me all day. Like getting me fucking
like riled up with that. We did
it and like afterwards like
I fucking like want to rip the lamp
off the wall and fucking throw it across the room
type shit. And then like like
I can't it takes like five minutes and I calm down
I'm just like whoa.
That's wild. Because like I feel like I could
throw that lamp across the room before
I came. No. But once I come
it's like all right. We got enough
out of our system. We're good.
I guess Tyler doing that
when he masturbates.
Tyler just fucking blows
alone and immediately goes
who the fuck's that lamp?
Pshhhhhh
Fucking Emily's like oh my
god is everything okay?
Just leave me alone for a minute.
I'm having a moment.
I need space. We talked about
this. I need space. Fuck.
No but like I've talked
to like women before
and stuff and there's like you know
how like at like our job field like things
get like we get weird conversations going and shit
and there's like so like afterwards
what do you do? I need to be like alone for
a couple minutes.
I didn't spell it. It's like
I need to be alone for a couple minutes afterwards
like I don't like people touching me afterwards
too. Like I get like upset
when people are like touching me after
like things for like a good five minutes.
Like I just need to be like
fuck that was crazy type shit
for like five minutes and then like afterwards
then I can be like okay now we can cuddle but like I need
to be like not saying I feel
that I feel that. But like when
and there's like what do you mean you don't want to get
touched afterwards? I'm just like don't fucking look
I don't want people to look at me. I feel like I'm a fucking
monster like afterwards.
Like look you came ten minutes ago.
I came fifteen seconds
ago.
Give me a fucking minute.
Dude I'm the same way. It's just like when I come
it's just like dude I don't want
to fucking be around anyone.
Like I'm like this beautiful this beautiful woman
this woman that I love is like right here
and I'm like I feel like a monster.
I'll force out like an I love you
because I know I'll mean it like 45
seconds later.
Bro tell me that's not relatable though.
Tell me that's not relatable though.
That's true though. You fucking force that
fucker out and then you're like
you know you'll mean it but you know in the moment
you're like I need
a second.
And then you just lay in your back for a minute
you're like alright
and then like starts cuddling you in at
first it's irritating as fuck
and then like
another 50 seconds goes by and you're like
alright. Alright
I see what happened here.
I'm happy like I meant what I
said then. Like it's just a brief
moment of like
fuck away from me.
I agree with you Tyler
though.
What's even more crazy is that we've
all had input on this and I haven't heard Casey
say a thing.
Come on man.
You never input this shit
like come on we need a little something.
You're gonna be like whoa.
You're gonna be like yeah
I agree. Okay so anyways
who wants to be a millionaire?
Fuck off man.
Give us a post-nuc clarity
story.
We've definitely had one with the library.
You can't even
fucking squeak a library
story out of this guy.
We gotta work that up for a four podcast
to get them to let that out.
Like a collab with the shit we said.
How would you feel with the fucking
how'd you feel after the library incident?
I already told you that
but
that would be the hardest post-nuc
clarity I've had.
I mean
how much guilt did you feel after?
You know I didn't really
like that job so
yeah I was
the thing I
don't like is like
is feeling like I don't know
because it's like your
hormones like drive you
to do stuff and there's so
much in control of you and you realize
like after you nut how in control
they really are of the situation.
And I don't like that being
out of control feeling.
It's just like
you will do anything
for a nut.
Imagine the post-nuc clarity
of having to change your pants in strip clothes.
Yeah
that sucked instantly.
It's like even though I just
spent like seventy dollars on
this chick to dance on my lap
and I nut a minute in I'm like you can
stop you're done you did your job.
Are you sure? I'm like yeah
you're done.
You know what the fucking
weirdest thing was I was walking through the mall
the other day and then there's a girl that
walked by me who was like a younger girl
and she had nobody ever finds this podcast.
A younger girl and she had
the same perfume on as like strippers
and I was like oh I don't
like that imagery. Yeah
it's like an association thing.
It's like eugh.
When she walked by I was just like
I know that smell and I'm like oh
what are you doing
wearing that? Yeah.
Who lets you wear that type thing?
Right.
We also were talking about colognes and stuff
like our soaps
and stuff. What's your
daily like what's your soap scent?
So I'll be honest
and this sounds so fucking wacker
of me and I'll admit it.
But it's true and the only reason it's true
is because I've ran into somebody that this is
affected but
I used to wear fucking
ah fuck what was the name of it?
Aqua DiGio.
No. No no it was a good
one though it was fucking Armani and I
can't remember what it was. It didn't say
Giorgio Armani on the bottle.
What color was the bottle? It was clear bottle
and it had like the frosty
cover to the bottle
and then it had like the more or less like
whiter like you could read it for sure.
It was an Armani
and the other one
that I use is Nautica Voyage.
Those are the
two that I fucking loved. The colognes.
And there was one case
where I had a patient
that was very
allergic to something in my cologne.
And I was wearing the
Nautica Voyage and then I went
to my paramedic class after the fact and they
were like hey yeah so
like a lot of the substances
in cologne people
can be very hypersensitive
to. Really? And since
then I haven't worn
cologne on my job
and I actually don't wear it
when I'm working either. I
I'll be honest I wore it strictly
when I was working before. Really?
Because I thought it
and we'll get into my three word sentence
what would you use as a motto to
describe your life?
Lecture afterwards but like for me it's
set the tone. I want to set the fucking
tone with a patient. I wouldn't be like hey
I'm from I'm I'm fucking
good. Yeah like I'm fucking professional
you can trust me. What are we
doing here? Don't mind the mullet. You know what I hate?
You know what I hate? It's like the boos. No no
the mullet's part of it. It's like you know
I'm taking a risk here so let's
set the fucking tone. Let's set the
fucking tone alright. I'm breaking boundaries
here. What's the risk? What's the risk? But I'm also gonna
take care of you so like hey you might fucking
hate me because of my hairstyle but like
hey what's going on?
I smell fucking
I smell good. Another fucking
three word sentence. You can't have a mullet
and smell bad. No
bro you can't run that
risk. That's like no that's
incompatible. So they're gonna fucking
hate you off the rip. My coworker
my
coworker that you
love. My coworker that you love that's on my shift.
You know the one.
I'm thinking there's a lot of
the
you know older guy.
Oh yeah yeah.
He wears a cologne. J.S.?
Yeah J.S.? Yeah that's what we gotta
say. So like
he wears
a certain cologne that just drives me
fucking insane because it like it's such
like an old man smell.
It drives me fucking nuts.
The guy's over there in the shower with fucking
Irish Spring just going fucking
at it bro. But like the thing is like
he has like that and like it drives me
fucking nuts and then there's a day
like because like we hang up our
our radios and then our
jackets over our radios type
thing like in like the day room. So
I like it was like super
like late call like I was sleeping.
So like I woke up from the tones and like I got
up and I just put on like the thing
and I thought it was my my radio and
my jacket but it was his radio and his jacket.
And like I
got into the thing and I'm like
oh no like this smell like
just immediately gave me a migraine.
It's not because like it's a bad
smell but like to me
specifically it gives me a migraine.
So I was like oh fuck and then like
literally I shit you not.
I got like a fucking like I got like a
rash on my fucking neck because
it was like coated in like the cologne.
And apparently I was like hyper sensitive to
like that one specifically. So like
it literally gave me like a rash around my neck. I had
to take the jacket off and I was wearing a fucking like
job shirt in like the fucking
six degree day that it was like two days
ago. And I was like fuck
I'm like I'd rather do do do do do this.
But
like yeah like but like what soap
do you use?
Wait so you asked me you were looking at
me for that?
So anyways what soap do you use
Ali Mac buddy?
Alright so for
me honestly I like to go for
uh and
at first I thought it was a complete fucking
gimmick but truth be told I've fallen
in love with it is uh
the fucking Dr. Squatch soap.
Really? Yeah. And they
smell I do like the I have
a bar at work for me which is like
the the the blue one.
There's a I think I have the blue one right
now and I'm not gonna lie I fucking ate it.
You gotta go for the ones that smell
like fucking Yankee Candle. You gotta
go for the ones that smell like balsam fur
or like shit like that like the ones that
smell like pine trees. Those ones
are fucking phenomenal
soaps. Anything with the
heavy the heavy grip to it. Yeah.
And uh the other
ones. As far as scrub was actually not bad.
Like the halo one.
That one I had an allergic reaction to.
Really? It smelled real good though.
Nah I did it did.
I'm not gonna disagree with you
with that. I think it would fucking
work for most people. By the way we're not
plugged by fucking uh. By the way.
By any such. By any such.
Dr. Squatch they sub they they fucking
give people advertisements all the time so like
hey doctor you wanna give us a
fucking you wanna give us a fucking
advertisement bro we'll fucking squash
you bro. Come on doc.
We'll squash you. Let's go. We'll squash you.
We have enough content now
where that where AI can generate
a podcast episode with
like all the content we have already.
Really? Yeah but if you say that
then all our fans are gonna think every episode
after this is fucking AI.
From this point on all episodes
will be AI generated. I think I
think I think at least in this
we live in the golden age of
technology where like
if somebody fucking AI
something you can still tell.
But anyway what's up to you viewers?
You definitely still can
tell. But regardless
I wanna get into the one thing I wanted to say.
If you could describe a fucking like
motto for life.
What would it be? And I'll go
I'll go last even though I've already
kinda given it. But Casey I wanna see you first
because you have contributed. Nothing.
Very little since we came back into
this so. I'm just
I'm just vibing. I know you're vibing.
That's typically your role.
You're the viber. Dude I'm just
vibing. That works. That's three. If I had to
give a motto to life.
Three words. It needs to be
exactly three words. Oh.
Oh. I don't know
if I can do that without tipping the slurger.
You really think you gotta include
include a slur?
In the
it gotta inclur a slur
bro?
Really bro you can't go fucking three words
without thinking of a slur.
My motto. You can't be just like
live laugh love.
Like you can't fucking
it's gotta be fucking
NIT.
Almost. My motto
in three words is don't
be a cunt.
Well that's four.
Don't be a cunt. No. No it's four.
A cunt is two. Because you know
some people go their whole lives and they're just cunts
the entire time.
I just want people to
to just not be a cunt
anymore. Actually let's just say
don't be cuntish. Yeah.
That's three words. That's three words.
Alright so Tyler what do you think?
For my motto for life?
Yeah and you gotta give the three
word like advice.
Yeah. And then
an explanation as to why you gave it.
Let's see.
Work fucking hard.
That's a good one.
No that's a really fucking good one.
I'm not even gonna lie. Give me a fucking
fist bump. That was a good one.
That's even better than don't be a cunt.
Yeah no it's much better.
Work fucking hard. That's pretty much like
never give up.
Even as cheesy as that is.
Seriously work fucking hard and never
give up are probably the two that I do.
Because you know
my dad always gave me
this saying and like it stuck with me
since I was like a kid. He goes
you only fail when you give up.
Like if you fail and you keep
going it's not a failure. You just keep fucking
going. That's true.
If you give up
you're done. That's when you accept
defeat. Like you're never defeated
unless you give up.
And I'm like and I kind of
stuck with me ever since I was a kid.
Like never never like
it's not over till you give
up type shit. That's true.
That's very true.
So me I think
I think that the three words
is set the tone. Set the
tone. I think it's set the tone
because honestly
that thing has came into
into play way more than I thought it would.
At least a lot more in my adult life
than it has my adolescent
and child life. But it's like
for example I think of the party
I went to tonight.
All drama excluded.
Was I walked in there and was like alright
I know I'm going to know two
or three people maybe.
It's like how about I just fucking
set the tone.
You walk in there. That's why I just
don't talk to anybody. Yeah yeah yeah
yeah but there's better outcomes than that
though. Just whip your dick out. Set the tone.
That is a set the tone.
See yeah that is a
that's a tone set. Whip dick out
set the tone. Boom.
Whip dick out. You can use them interchangeably bro.
It fucking works bro.
But like no for me it was like I walked in
this party and I'm like I know fucking nobody. There's a couple
of people I know here of like the five
people here maybe I know.
I fucking hate two of them.
So like why don't I just set
the tone. You fucking walk in
yeah I'll get two shots of J-Mo.
Fucking
you fucking walk out there.
Nobody's on the dance floor. I'm going to
be the first one on the dance floor. Oh absolutely.
You fucking walk out there. You act
like a fucking douche bag
for 50 seconds.
And then that's all you need. Nobody's
going to join you on the dance floor. You've
got to fucking walk back to your seat. Once you
walk back to your seat a bunch of people start
wandering up to the dance floor and they say fucking hell
if he fucked it up that bad.
We can start it up.
And then boom. Whole night takes a
damn.
Are you back in?
Oh we're back in. You gotta hit him with a fucking
fortnight dance on the dance floor.
Hold on.
Alright so I went on long
enough. Dan three words.
Good advice.
What do you think?
This is one I've been trying to incorporate
this lately.
And I just realized how
important it is.
Just be honest.
Just be honest
with what you want.
Because if you're not honest with
what you want in all things
you're going to end up being
miserable. Right? And I've realized
by this age like
a lot of things that make
me unhappy in my life. It's because
either I'm not being honest with somebody
else or I'm not being honest with myself.
How old are you Dan?
I'm 33.
So. 33. And you're doing
a free podcast.
Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty fucking
pathetic.
Dude can I just say
this might go out
to boat boy here.
And I don't know what the movement currently is
on this. I'm assuming there's got to be some
fans that are really riled up about this.
But Rooster Teeth recently
well not too recently
they canceled a podcast
on
it's called Ship Hits the Fan
and it's about shipwrecks.
And it's a phenomenal
it's a phenomenal
podcast. And Rooster
Teeth canceled it. And I was listening
to it all the way through. When I discovered it
I immediately started Oldest to New
and I've just now caught up
to it and it breaks my heart.
They got canceled
like months back
like at least five or six months ago.
And it's just like dude
how's that happen? Guys
fucking if you're not going to send us
an email send Rooster Teeth an email.
Tell them to fucking get the ship
hitting the fan again.
Back to blue okay guys?
Back to blue. Back to blue
alright most of those ships fucking sank
in the Atlantic and the Pacific. Alright
so let's just fucking back to blue.
Back the ocean here. Back the ocean.
The ship sank in it man.
But it's called
Ship Hits the Fan is a great
well what was Rooster Teeth podcast
based off of what I know
the guys
who fucking got canceled are
trying to get the ownership of their podcast
back to them. Was it like
canceled for like political
reasons or like canceled for financial reasons?
I'm assuming financial but they didn't delve
into it. It was just like this long
running podcast. No but did they say anything that was
worth like canceling? No
no they just said they got canceled
and they said they hoped that they could bring it back
and they hoped that maybe the ownership
could go back to them.
And it hurt because it was a fucking
really cool podcast that fucking
boat boy showed me
and the wreck of the
Edmund Fitzgerald.
Yeah they covered that and they have
that might have been a two parter for them
honestly. It was a phenomenal one
because for me it was just like
they always joked about doing
an episode on the Titanic
and then the last it was
a two parter. The last episodes
that I listened to were about the Titanic
and it broke my heart because it was like
wow they're doing the Titanic
like wow that seems like something pretty final
and then midway through episode
two. By the way we got canceled
more on that later
and it just fucking
it hurt me because it was like holy fuck
like dude I do this for free. And
it put it in perspective for me
because like clearly they put more effort into
their podcast than we do.
But it was just like damn man.
Why did they get it canceled?
Rooster teeth. They just
canceled them. I'm assuming for financial reason.
That's fucking sick.
Casey what was your three words of
wisdom? Don't be
cuntish. Don't be cuntish.
I want to amend that though. I got three words
of wisdom
that I thought of that would be
Who wants millionaire?
Who wants money?
Lost on Jeopardy.
Fuck
this podcast.
You gotta get the cow off bro.
The what? The cow. Wow that's actually
pretty cool. What is this? What is this
little device we got here? My girlfriend donated
this to the well she got this for me as a gift
for the podcast. What the fuck?
This shit's sick.
This shit's fucking sick. No!
It's a UFO and it sucks up this
cow. Wait it's like a magnet?
Yeah. So you put
this over it and it abducts the
cow. No fucking way.
That's awesome. No fucking
way.
That's how you set the tone right there.
You fucking abduct the cow.
Abduct the cow. That should have been Casey's
three words.
Abduct the cow.
My three words are
let's play Jeopardy.
Oh fuck. Oh
fuck. That's gonna be a pretty quiet
performance from the young Ali Mack on this
one. No Ali Mack you got it.
No.
Wait hold up. So hold up.
I gotta ask. I didn't listen to the last one.
What? Did
Tyler get his two thousand point bonus?
No. No it was Dan.
Dan. Dan. Dan. Dan. That's what
I meant. Did Dan get it?
I used both of our points last game.
Wow. And he didn't
win? No. Sorry about
that. Wow Dan. No I didn't even use
the points.
Welcome back to Jeopardy.
Fucking Alex Trebek.
Be back
with your 11 time winner Tyler.
Yo.
Dude there was famous Tyler's last time
and he would have got one and I didn't. Alright mine's
working. Your four time winner
Dan the vitamin man. Oh yeah.
Uh. D Dan
the vitamin man.
Why'd you put the swim cup next to
me? Because I'm the most likely person to do it.
And your one time winner Lee
Uno Ali Mack. Lee Uno
baby.
Trying to make it the duo
baby. Nah I don't you know.
Alright Ali Mack and Dan you got
two thousand point bonus from
Who Wants to Be a Miller. Are you gonna use that today?
I still don't understand how you guys did that
but. Well you should have been here brother.
I'll use my. I was getting
bruised. I'll use
yeah you were.
Um. Despite all the
embouchure. We're gonna set the tone.
We're gonna set the fucking
tone and we're gonna use the
two thousand point bonus for this episode.
Yeah what about you Dan? What? Are you gonna use your bonus?
I uh.
It depends I might save it for the end.
You can't do that. I'm gonna do that.
No you can't. No you can't.
Who makes the rules?
Is it Tyler or is it Casey that makes the rules?
Yeah but Dan. Who makes the rules?
I think you gotta use in the beginning.
Hey! Yeah. Come on.
No Dan I think we make
the rules alright. We're like hockey alright.
We govern our own rules. How about this?
Alright hear me out. I get
all the points up front.
If I use them now or
I can get half if I use it later.
That's bullshit.
No. What do you mean it doesn't mean. No dude
we're going. You gotta
put this in reverse. I don't want the points. I don't fucking
want them. Dan alright. Well then don't.
No I don't want them. Yeah you want
to want. I don't want them either.
Set the fucking tone. Alright.
I don't want them. I don't know when
I can have my points.
No fuck that.
Set the tone. No one's using
their points? No I guess not.
No fuck the points. We're never gonna use them
right? Yeah that's right. Fuck those points.
Set the tone. Hell yeah. Set the tone.
Alright the categories today.
We got
Audie's songs. Audie?
Audie's songs. Like autistic?
Wait yeah but like what's the?
Two thousands. Oh. With the Audies.
The Naughties. This goes
to the 90's and the Audies.
Oh. Oh. Okay.
Alright so it's British.
So what?
Zed.
Zed. State capitals.
Steven King Universe.
Okay. Okay. I'm fucked there.
Pandemic. Okay.
Pandemic. US elections.
What is the Spanish flow?
And algebra bro.
Oh I fucking hate algebra bro.
What is
Secret 3? That is my
preemptive pick.
Let's go 2000's music.
Audie's
songs? Yeah.
Okay.
You gotta tell me what the song is by
the intro. Okay.
Ali who's it?
Tyler.
That's correct.
Wait is it who it's by?
Or is it the song? The song.
What do you got? Hey uh. Wait
we got an echo. Yeah we got
an echo. Echo.
Alright Tyler you got
200 points. Two thousands.
Oh. Audie's songs?
Just fucking say two thousands.
No you gotta say Audie's
songs bro. Audie's songs. For 400.
Tyler what is Empire State in line?
No. No. What is
Umbrella by Rihanna?
What is Umbrella by Jay-Z featuring
Rihanna? Yes.
The fuck?
Bro you gave it to me.
I thought it was Rihanna featuring Jay-Z.
Dude you thought that was Rihanna
coming in there?
It would be featuring Jay-Z.
Not Jay-Z featuring.
No it's Jay-Z featuring Rihanna.
It doesn't matter what's the name of the song.
Yeah what is Umbrella?
Two thousands.
For 600.
The fuck?
Wait hold up. Hold up. Hold up.
Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.
Wait let it run.
Let it run. Let it run bro.
Let it run.
Let it run. Let it run. Let it run. Oh fuck I know
this. Let it run.
God damn what the fuck
is the name of the song?
What is Halo?
Oh yeah. Fuck!
It's Halo by Alicia Keys.
Fuck! I knew it was Halo.
Oh well thank god you didn't know the artist.
I was just like fuck it.
Dude it occurred to me at the same time.
I keep forgetting you only need to know the song
name. Fuck. I was like what the fuck.
I knew it was Halo. I knew it was
Halo. Halo. Halo.
Yeah I got a wrong answer on the
400 so I have
400 yeah. Tyler's back.
Let's do 90s or
2000s or Nautis.
Nautis songs for 800.
What is TikTok?
TikTok.
I didn't even have the time to register that.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Damn we gotta fucking set the tone.
Nautis.
For 1000.
Fuck!
What is Pokerface?
Oh shit! Oh my god.
No put it back!
Sorry I got a little bit angry there.
I knew that one.
That one kinda hurt.
Wow I wish I wasn't drunk.
Tyler you got
2200. What are the other capitals?
You got state capitals, Stephen King Universe,
Pandemics, US elections
and Al Jarreux bro.
Let's do
Stephen King.
For 200. Name of the
fictional main town uses a setting
for multiple novels including It.
What is Derry?
Oh he was gonna say Derry.
I was gonna say Danberry but
then I'm like that's not right.
I was gonna say what is Drury.
I pressed the button and I was like
I hope I can come.
I knew it was Derry but like
I knew it was like a D and I was like is it Danberry?
But then I'm like no that's where the trash came from.
Sudbury.
Because of fucking
Derry.
Stephen King.
Give your balls a tug.
This novel is named after the date
President Kennedy was assassinated.
Oh fuck what's the date?
I know.
Wait. I didn't mean to press it.
I did not
mean to press it.
I did not mean to press that.
It's like something something something.
11 22 63.
I was gonna say 67.
I was gonna say 64.
I'm glad you did.
Stephen King.
600.
The movie adaptation of this novel
stars Kathy Bates.
Fuck.
I think I know it
but I don't want to say it.
I don't want to answer. I don't want to risk the points.
We'll see.
Is it? I think it's this one.
Let's see.
How many points do I have Casey?
2200. How many points is this question?
Out of time.
400.
That was misery.
Oh no I actually would have got that one.
Nevermind.
Stephen King.
This 1983 novel is about a killer car
with a mind of its own.
Oh fuck.
Shit.
God damn it. It's a red car.
Oh it has stupid headlights.
No it's black. No it's red I thought.
Oh fuck.
Oh my god. What is the name of it?
I'm gonna kill myself.
Oh fuck.
I take it you're not a Stephen King expert.
I don't know.
Oh I can see the fucking car.
That would be Christine.
Fuck.
I was gonna say fucking
the other.
Alright hold on.
Maybe we should save those for a little bit
further.
What other categories we got?
State capitals. Pandemics.
Sure why not.
200. This disease was spread by rats
to humans.
What is black death?
Fuck.
Fuck that.
I pressed the two. It was just too late.
Otherwise known as
the bubomic plague.
Yeah sure it is Casey.
Fucking next category.
Tyler's pig.
Pandemics. 400.
This disease infected half a billion people
from 1918 to 19...
What is the Spanish flu?
God damn it.
That's two.
I thought that was me. God damn it.
You gotta press the fucking button buddy.
I did press the button. No you didn't bro.
Wait press it.
Wait hold up. Hold up. Hold up.
I think I'm three. Hold up.
I pressed the button.
Oh no his buzzer's working. That was me.
God damn it.
Dude I was gonna say the same thing.
I want you to know I did not steal that from you.
I knew that was the Spanish flu.
That's the second one Ali Matt.
I was gonna say tuberculosis.
I knew it was the Spanish flu too.
I was gonna say it.
Pandemics again. 600.
This disease was caused by the
variola virus.
The variola?
I don't fucking know.
I wanna risk it but I
don't feel good
risking it. I don't fucking know.
That's a weird one.
Smallpox.
Oh I was gonna say swine flu.
Thank God.
Pandemics again. Let's go.
800. This disease
was caused by retrovirus.
Oh no. This disease caused by retrovirus
was first identified
in 1981.
What is HIV?
Oh yeah.
Dan.
Dan's got AIDS.
All our listeners
let's get hashtag Dan has AIDS
going here buddy.
Dan's pick.
Are we doing
the songs one?
What the fuck is going on?
What are the other categories?
State capitals, Stephen King Universe,
pandemics.
For a thousand.
Infection from this disease
puts patients at risk for blood
clotting disorders.
Blood clotting disorder.
Casey that's a very
very vague
question again.
Also we have an echo.
Hold up.
Alright infection from this
disease puts patients at risk for
blood clotting disorders.
So if we answer with any
of them that caused that do we get
the points? Because I mean there's
plenty that do that. Can you give us
a generalized year of it?
No. Yeah what was it?
What was it? Yeah what was it discovered?
Like dude. That would be COVID-19.
Casey that
is like the least common
side effect of that.
No that's such bullshit.
Can we do a challenge
flag as fucking competitors?
I would have said tuberculosis
because it does that. Nobody got the
point. That's so fucking stupid.
That's so fucking stupid. Alex fucking
Trabex under fire. Yeah.
What coagulates blood?
Oh maybe seven thousand
fucking viruses Casey.
The fuck do you want from me?
COVID-19.
What the fuck bro?
Whatever keep moving on.
Tuberculosis does.
Tuberculosis for 200.
State capitals for 200. Iowa.
That's probably my fault. Sorry.
That was probably my fault.
No idea.
Yeah we got an echo.
It's my fault.
Alright we're finally
back and uh
so
who got Des Moines? No one?
No. Dan's pick.
State capitals again. 400.
Pennsylvania.
What is
this?
Hold on. No you can't do it until it's
clear. What is Boston?
What?
Pennsylvania.
I'm gonna kill myself.
That's Massachusetts.
Dan.
What is state college?
Oh fuck.
Dan how are you gonna show me
up like that? Tyler. What is Philadelphia?
No bro!
Petsburg? Anyone else?
Wait, wait this is
what state? Pennsylvania.
Anyone else
wanna buzz in? I don't fucking know.
Dude I thought it was Philly.
Harrisburg. Oh my god!
I'm not picking this category yet.
Thank god we all lost equal points there.
Holy fuck.
I really thought it was uh
I thought he said
State capitals. I thought he said Mass first.
Steven King Universe. US elections.
Algebra.
I suck.
Let's see if I can state capitals. It's the only one I have any kind of chance on.
600. Maine.
What is Bangor?
No.
I'm just naming
places I know.
Maine. Oh fuck.
I know this.
I don't know if it's that or if it's another one.
What is Portland?
What?
Really? I thought it was Portland but
it's not Algonquin.
Really?
It's not fucking Portland.
I'm gonna kill myself.
It's not Bar Harbor. I don't know.
Augusta.
Dance Bank.
State capitals.
Man we're killing ourselves.
He's just gonna win by not answering.
For 800.
No double you got.
You can wager up to a thousand actually.
Who's picking me?
You got negative 200.
I'll wager
200.
Wait so then I don't get anything?
No you can wager up to a thousand.
And you should wager at least a hundred.
I was gonna say bro.
Who cares if I end in a negative?
I'll wager
200.
Florida.
Bro.
We can't do this.
Bro come on.
God it's like
which one's the fucking capital?
This is so fucking hard.
Jesus fuck.
What is
What the fuck do you guys know?
I think so.
I think I do.
I'm not even gonna guess.
I could be wrong.
That would be Tallahassee.
Nope. Would have gotten it wrong.
No I would have gotten it wrong.
I was like Miami, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale,
Tampa, Clearwater.
I almost said Sarasota.
Let's just fucking get
this category. State capitals.
Louisiana.
Fucking Louisiana.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Why are they always the shittiest?
Shitty?
Shitty that nobody knows.
Oh fuck.
Fuck.
Baton Rouge.
Fuck I knew that.
Hello Samantha dear.
I hope you're feeling fine. It's a good song by
God Brooks.
Stephen King, US elections and algebra bro.
Let's just do fucking
algebra bro.
You had to say bro at the end or it doesn't count.
Get this out of the fucking way.
For 200.
12 plus negative 2 squared.
Oh my god.
Fuck this game.
Wait are you saying negative 2
squared?
12 plus 2
equals x.
No it's 12.
12 plus negative 2 in parenthesis squared.
Wait 12 plus
x parenthesis
negative 2 squared?
12 plus
negative 2 squared.
Equals x. Equals what?
I think I
I don't know how that works.
I'm bad at math. I don't know how that works.
I failed math three times. Dude I can't picture
the equation in front of me. It's a bullshit
question. That would be 16.
Yeah well glad I didn't
answer.
Hey yo Jeopardy Maker
or whatever the fuck West End Casey is.
Get better.
The square root of 64
squared plus
negative 1. Oh what the fuck is this?
I'm just gonna put this back.
I'll take a shot
to that. Brought to you by Crystal
Skull on Title Podcast everybody.
Dan Aykroyd we love you.
Let's just let this go for a second.
Let's take this thing.
The square root of 64
squared plus negative 1.
The square root of
60. What is
hold on a second.
The square root of 64. Wait yeah
wait ask the question again.
The square root of 64
squared plus negative 1.
What is 65?
You said it's 165.
What is it?
No one? Okay.
God damn it I went the wrong way.
Oh my god you're close bro.
I almost had that bro.
I had to run instead of taking
you fucking at me.
God damn it.
Yeah let's do algebra bro.
Okay this one's easy.
5 divided by 2.
What is 2.5?
Oh yeah that was easy.
Bro what is 2.5 bro?
Yeah bro.
We're not incorporating the bro
into this because I will forget that.
Algebra.
For 800.
You can wager up to 1000.
Alright I'll wager
300.
I'm on margin here.
Alright.
2 times 10 to the 21st
plus 2 times 10 to the 21st.
What the fuck?
Thank god it ain't me.
What the fuck?
Oh fucking hell.
So.
People can just do this?
Like there's people that
this is like ninth grade algebra.
I failed ninth grade algebra my guy.
Yeah bro you think you got fucking TI-84?
So say the question again.
2 times 10 to the 21st plus 2 times 10 to the 21st.
2 times 10 to the 21st.
2 times 420.
What is 840?
This is like autistic goodwill hunting.
What is 840 bro?
840 bro.
You said 840 bro.
Yeah bro it's so far.
4 times 10 to the 21st.
I was gonna say I had so much more.
And dance pick.
What was the answer?
The answer was 4 times
10 to the 21st.
You can't fucking do that.
Wait so it's not the end answer?
What?
Your end answer wasn't a whole number?
I called those shit.
What the fuck is this category?
It's not that's an equation.
It's 4 with 4 times 10 to the 21st is a 4 with like 21 zeros.
Yeah that would have been the correct answer.
Yeah also known as 4 times 10 to the 21st.
You should have specified that maybe we could answer.
Fuck you!
You should have specified that maybe we could answer in scientific notation Casey.
You fucking douchebag.
I protest this whole episode.
You fucking asshole.
Okay?
No fucking production quality here.
Uhh...
Algebra.
What scientific notation just fucking gone now?
What the fuck are we doing here?
Here we go. 9 divided by 11 times 9.
What the fuck?
I don't know. You wanna know that?
What? I don't know.
Ali Mac.
No, no I said I don't know. That was a joke.
You're not taking my money for that.
Fucking hell.
1?
No. Fuck no.
That would be 11.
What?
9 divided by 11 times 9 is 11.
Casey are you gonna look at me in the eye and act like you knew this?
I wrote the question.
You wrote it?
9 divided by 11 times 9.
That's like 12 plus 6 minus 6.
Yeah.
Dude he gets into the fucking equations.
I just like oh yep.
Goodbye.
Dad you got US elections and Stephen King.
US elections let's go.
200.
This president ran unopposed in elections for both terms.
What is FDR?
Nope.
Fuck it. Why not?
Who is Abraham Lincoln?
Nope.
Yeah that was retarded.
Who is George Washington?
George Washington.
I was just looking at it.
Holy shit.
Damn.
Back in the game Ali Mac pulls himself out.
Damn.
Fuck.
US elections.
For 400.
This president was elected to a nonconsecutive second term in 1892.
Oh fuck who was that?
Oh.
I think he was one of the only ones to do it.
Oh fuck what was his name?
It's not 1892.
What was it?
1892.
1892?
Yeah.
Who is George H.W. Bush?
What are you fucking talking about?
Are you out of your mind?
1892.
Not 19.
19 bro.
You said 1892.
Did I really say 18?
Alright guys.
For all the Ali Mac fans out there.
I'm hanging up the fucking buzzer for the rest of the show.
For you guys.
River Cleveland.
I didn't really just say 18.
US elections.
600.
Fuck really blew that one. Screwed the pooch on that asshole.
This president.
This president beat out both William Howard Taft and Teddy Roosevelt in the election of 1912.
Oh fuck.
We were just talking about this.
1912?
Yup.
It was Taft's term after Teddy fucking.
Oh fuck.
I know this election.
Yeah I don't know it.
I think it's Harrison.
Is it Harrison?
It's Woodrow Wilson.
Nope.
And Dan Spick.
US elections.
This president beat Walter Mondale.
525 to 13 in the electoral votes.
To win re-election.
Everybody knows what that is.
What is Ronald Reagan?
Oh yeah.
God damn it.
If it's like Reagan and Houston.
Why aren't you buzzing Dan?
Tyler Fink.
Fucking hell man.
I'm here in the negatives I'm sure.
I gotta be in the negatives by now.
Casey how much money do I have?
How much money do I have?
You got negative 600.
What do I got left?
You got US elections or Stephen King?
I'm not Stephen King. Fucking.
For a thousand.
Sequel to The Shining.
What is Dr. Sleep?
I didn't know.
And finally for a thousand.
US elections.
And you got 3600.
What are the scores?
Dan's got negative 300.
Alibax got negative 600.
I'll do 600.
What are we doing?
Why do we guess?
Why are we guessing?
Alright John Kerry lost to George
W. Bush
in this year's election.
John Kerry lost to H.W.?
No John Kerry lost to George W. Bush
in this year's election.
What is 2004?
Oh yeah.
God damn it.
You got 600 points for that.
No.
Alright.
Go to Final Jeopardy.
Tyler's got 4200. Dan's got
negative 300. Alibax got
negative 600.
All I can do is push myself further in the negatives.
You guys want to use your bonus?
What's the bonus?
The extra 2000.
No. I'll wait.
Yeah.
I'd rather fucking perform Sapuku
than do that.
Yeah Casey.
My wager will be negative
700 dollars.
You fucking douchebag.
So if I win I go
further into the negative you fucking
asshole. Algebra?
Algebra is a fucking
category? Are you
fucking kidding me?
I show up here drunk
and you say algebra is a fucking
category?
Hey Casey. How about you
write this one for the bucks. I wager all
my negative money for the
fucking shit here
okay? So if I win
I go further into the negative. How about
that? You know algebra Casey?
You know algebra because if I say
I wager anything I go
further back.
Alright I ain't going forward.
You already won.
Alright just put us out of our
fucking misery.
Let's see if Tyler knows this. So final
jeopardy. Fucking hell.
I fucking hate it here.
Fuck this fucking podcast.
The Wright brothers made the first
successful flight of a
powered aircraft on December
17th 1903 in this US
town.
No you gotta type it in bro.
Oh no I know what it is I was just gonna say it.
You gotta type it in bro.
Hey Casey you can lock this in.
What is I don't fucking know?
Ah fuck.
If it was the state I would have noted.
Okay it's on their fucking license plate.
What is set the tone?
Casey's basement.
That's the name of the fucking street in the house.
Dan he's got it right.
He wins negative three hundred dollars.
Oh right.
Hey buddy.
What did Dan say?
Wait do I push myself back to
zero by answering it correctly?
Tyler you lost four to twenty dollars.
He's not wrong.
He's not wrong though.
He's on a fucking beach.
You said
the answer was Kitty Hawk North Carolina.
Tyler wins
with thirty eight
twenty.
Dan you know fingers.
We could have won
if we just don't guess.
I don't think we could have won.
I still don't think the math is there bro.
Twelve times.
Tyler wins.
If we just don't guess.
Tyler wins.
From here on out we're only going to say it if we know what it is.
Tyler wins.
Number twelve.
We'll be back in next week
with mere Dan hopefully wins.
Fuck this fucking segment.
I have twelve times the amount of victories
as Mr.
Uno over here.
How many do you have Dan? Four?
Four. I have three times the amount of victories.
I like asking the questions.
It makes me feel powerful.
I don't like to ask the questions.
I want to get the powers of
number one.
Some can argue that we have an equal
amount of wins.
Depending on one's
mathematic rules.
No I'm not.
I can come up with questions on a fly.
No I'm not bro.
You put twelve just hanging
around there with one in
mathematic equations. We're equal bro.
That's all I'm saying.
Yeah.
Shut the fucking music off.
I fucking hate this Casey.
I'll fucking
make a board.
I'll make a board next week.
Ali Mac won't be a drunk fuck.
And he'll ask questions.
How about that?
This region of India
is also the name of a
tiger. What is Pakistan?
Oh Casey got it.
What is Pakistan?
What is Bengal Tiger?
What is Pakistan?
Like the Bay of Bengal.
I asked a question about the bodies of water.
Did you?
Oh shit. Yeah it must be real easy
when he had the fucking answer key in front of you buddy.
No Everest is in this country.
What is Nepal?
Oh my god. I knew that. I did know that.
I asked that question too actually.
I did know that actually.
It was Nepal.
It's Nepal.
But fuck my god.
Yeah.
Pronunciation.
This uh.
I'm looking at a map.
And I'm just coming up with questions.
This
country shares a border
with Egypt.
Southern border.
Egypt's southern border.
What is South Africa?
What is Syria?
No it's not Syria.
What is Kazakhstan?
What is uh fucking.
What's below Egypt?
Czech Republic. What is Russia?
Libya?
Might be Libya actually.
No it's not Libya.
It's fucking um. Oh fuck.
Mali.
That would be Sudan. What is Kenya?
Fuck.
Let's see.
Um.
Stand by.
What was the question?
He wasn't paying
attention. He doesn't care.
He's like I already won.
What's the question?
Uh. Let's see.
Alright.
This.
I don't know if I like that one.
Oh here we go.
This country
sits in between Algeria,
Libya, and Malta.
What is Nigeria?
What is Chad?
I've never been
heard of this country.
Wait.
Algeria? What is Algeria?
What did you say?
What is Saratoga?
It's in between Algeria, Libya,
and Malta.
It sits in between all of them.
He said what is Saratoga?
Malta's in Europe isn't it?
It is.
What is Malta? Still water EMS.
What is Saratoga?
Fire department.
I don't know.
That would be Tunisia.
Oh yeah.
Yeah. Sure it is.
Yeah.
Alright.
Yeah Casey. When he asked the questions
I'm just going to say based on the two weeks
I've been here. You haven't been too hot.
Of the
two categories that Dan
has given you. He's asking hard questions.
Yeah. Yeah that's what I think
every fucking episode buddy.
I can't wait until you're on the receiving end
brother. I can't wait.
How did you set these up Ali man?
How did you do this bro?
I'll fucking win $12,000 motherfucker.
Yeah sure you will.
I think as much as I don't want
it to be true I think Tyler's going to beat you.
No. I hope I'm wrong.
Not a chance. Cause fuck Tyler
winning. Not a chance.
But I think he's going to beat you.
Not a chance. I'll be honest.
Cape Town is in what
African region? South Africa.
Oh Casey got it.
You can't do
geological questions bro.
Geography. Bro how many
fucking South Africa questions
we ask in here? How many Africa
questions? That was the only one.
Fine dude. But it's all European. Fine.
I'm being a deck you're right.
What is the capital of Peru?
What is Lima?
Oh shit.
I didn't back out it.
What's up bro?
I know Montevideo
is the capital of Uruguay too. What you want
baby?
Montevideo.
Montevideo. What is that?
No not fedeo.
Montevideo.
Montevideo. Penis enlarger.
Video. Penis enhancement.
Do you like having your penis enhanced?
Like penis enhancement.
I knew you were going to be here.
Na na na na na na na
Bro if I knew you were going to be here
I would have worn my fucking Paneran jersey.
Micah Rizzigotti!
Alright so we're going to wear our
hockey jerseys next week.
Dude I actually got a Wayne Gretzky
Rangers jersey coming in.
Wear it? I've
I've worn both my
McDonald's and my
Michael
and my O'Callaghan.
So I will wear
my Rasmus
Dahlins.
I'll wear my Gretzky 1997
season
fucking Rangers jersey.
The one with the fucking cool
one with the Statue of Liberty logo.
I do like that jersey. That's one of my favorite ones.
Cipro is what type
of drunk?
Oh shit!
Dan your questions suck.
I'm going to throw you out.
I could have got
that one too shit.
You didn't get it though. I know I did.
No you're right.
Dan you're dead ass right.
I did not get that question bro.
You could have but you didn't.
Yeah you're right. I just, I could have.
I did not get that question.
Yeah we're stretching this.
I think I almost just broke my wrist bro.
Nobody gives a fuck about what we're doing here.
Send us an email.
Show us your fucking penis.
Give Ali Mac the will to live again.
Because he lost it.
And for the love of God be kind to yourself.
Hand each other. We out.
Fuck off!
For all we know
robots have souls.
We just don't know if they do or don't.
How do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first
ones to inhabit this planet?
Fuck no.
No, no we are
jumping down this fucking
rabbit hole. Yes we are.
There's people out there with some really dumb
thoughts.
Extended episodes.
Where the fuck did the skirmish come from?
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from?
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
They're killing
all the already born babies
and selling them to the Chinese.
Where do aliens exist?
Somewhere in China.
In some base.
There are super soldiers that are
at least 9 or 10 feet tall.
Anthropocastatron.
They have dreaded super soldiers.
Then they are extraterrestrials.
They are aliens.
I do not agonize
with aliens.
I do not agonize with aliens.
We gotta go to the fucking moon because
JFK got
assassinated by the fucking government.
He got killed by the CIA.
JFK was
killed by the government.
Before my eyes, while holding their pulse
feel them die of this
virus. You feel bump bump bump
BEEEEEEP! Nothing.
They're fucking gone. I've seen it happen.
I think that the government has
taken it to the next level
with the birds.
They know what birds are going to
cross paths with you.
That you are going to be able to raise and they are going to
make them so fucking real. They're going to
sink money into them. Cause they know
that if you put that motherfucker in a cage
they're going to be convinced that thing is fucking real.
You can cut it open, you're going to see blood cuts
no surgery, but let me tell you their technology
is absolutely vile.
Which by the way, big brother
is the overlord.
We're only living in the third dimension!
HOOOOOO!
George Soros is an actual Nazi collaborator.
Okay? I'm not fucking lying.
It's fucking real. Okay?
Look it up. Look it up.
He says that he was doing this shit.
George Soros actually worked with the fucking Nazis
during the Holm.
He says that he was doing it just to survive.
But he fucking loved it.
He was having a great fucking time doing this shit.
George Soros is the fucking devil!
Okay? He's not fucking doing this shit.
George Soros is fucking evil.
He's the actual fucking ringleader for all this shit.
He's fucking put down a whole bunch of shit.
Just don't fucking get it, okay?
Everybody's like,
Donald Trump is the fucking word person out there.
Fuck Trump, right?
He's not the actual fucking leader.
It's George Soros, it's Bill Gates,
it's fucking Elon Musk,
it's everyone out there.
Everybody's like,
uh, everybody,
you're saying Elon Musk is so cool,
he made like a place for the people.
The actual government is trying,
the actual government, which is George Soros
and all the fucking Nazis,
are actually the ones that are trying to fucking the Holm.
The queer politicians are paid off by the fucking bill.
The paid fucking off by the bill.