The following program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
Fewer discretion is advised.
This program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
Welcome to the Uncanny West Christmas Special!
Episode 58.
I'm here with Ellie McIntyler.
Merry Christmas, brother.
Merry Christmas.
That's just so weird.
What the fuck am I listening to?
It's Kanye, bro.
I know.
It's stronger?
Yeah, it's stronger, overlapping with all that fucking Christmas song.
We love Kanye here on Untitled Podcast.
Kanye had another meltdown.
What Kanye song is this, even?
It's stronger.
Oh, yeah.
It's Christmas time again.
Kylo, let's talk about how Christmas is a pagan holiday.
It's not a pagan holiday.
Oh my god.
Right into it.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I straight up have documents.
You have documents on how Christmas is not a pagan holiday.
You just have those files on your computer for what reason?
Just in case you ever need it.
I know what I'm going to do.
What are these documents show?
Shows that the pagans actually are a bunch of fucking dweebs and that the biggest pagan
tradition is converting to Christianity.
Well, Christmas was originally like a winter feast.
Right.
It was a solstice.
It wasn't Christmas.
You fucking retard, the solstice.
Yeah, Christmas.
You know what the solstice is?
You know what the fucking solstice is?
It's fucking today.
You know when Christmas is?
Yeah, four days from now, and you know, when Jesus wasn't born December, 25th, yeah, he
was born in July, but we had to fucking put a feast day somewhere in the end of the year.
Jesus wanted to take it from the pagans because it's the pagan holiday.
No, because we thought the solstice was a bunch of fucking barlarki with a bunch of
fucking gays out there, fucking fucking men and men fucking men.
They fucking fucking lunatics.
They are.
I don't fucking like pagans.
I'm just going to come out and say I don't like them.
I think they're fucking losers.
Their biggest tradition is converting to Christianity.
That's a fact.
Oh, you think it's a rational that there's thousands of gods?
It is a rational.
There's only one god.
That means a lot.
You know, I think it's tough if there's if there's gotta be a god.
I feel like there's only one of those fuckers.
Yeah, God would be like if there was like the fucking God gods of the fucking gods with
a capital with a lowercase G, then I think they would all just be like, no, I'm the real
God.
No, I'm the real God.
And I, God is just like, fuck all you.
So what are we celebrating then?
Jesus' birth, baby.
It's Christ's mass.
Don't give a shit about Jesus.
Well, then you don't have to celebrate you fucking piece of shit.
I mean, but what do you think the significance is of what?
OK, let me ask the fucking like, how did we get from Jesus' birth then moving the date
there to like now it's like, oh, Santa comes and gives you presents.
That's nothing to do with Christianity.
That's just fucking commercialism.
It actually started.
OK, it started from Coca-Cola.
Yeah, Coca-Cola popularized Santa Claus.
It did.
They had St. Nick.
Not what it was before.
They had St. Nick beforehand.
But St. Nick's feast day was actually they actually combined the Christian holiday of
St. Nick's feast day where you'd leave your shoes out for St. Nick to come along and give
you like candies and shit like as like a thing because St. Nick, when he was around, he actually
went down people's chimneys and like put shit like toys and shit in socks that were hanging
up to dry.
Like that's an actual thing.
OK, so they just combined them.
Pretty much.
So he broke in people's houses.
Because the kids in the town were super poor and their families weren't able to afford anything.
And then instead of being able to like walk through like the thing because they were under,
I think, surveillance or something by like the government that was happening.
So the kids weren't able to get anything.
So instead of just letting the kids just be like sad all the time and shit, they climbed
down their chimneys and put toys in their fucking things and climbed back up.
So that's like an actual like thing from St. Nick.
What a guy.
Why was like why were religions just like OK with what fucking Coca Cola did?
That's the one thing I really weren't.
But it kind of it kind of came down to it being like if enough people are just like
Christmas is the holiday, then we're not really going to deny that many people being like,
OK, Christmas.
But, you know, that makes sense.
We kind of have the, you know, I'm sure they're probably like, why the fuck we have Santa
Claus?
We have the reason for the season thing type thing for us.
But we're just like, if you don't want to fucking do that, whatever, kick rocks or something.
Touch, touch grass, touch grass.
That's my new favorite saying.
L plus ratio.
I just heard that like recently for the first time.
What, touch grass?
Yeah.
That's fucking been around for a while.
I know, but I like it a lot.
I like kick rocks.
Same kind of thing.
I've told people when we play Rocket League together to touch grass, whenever there's a
fucking smurf, I always say that in the chat because they fucking piss me off.
Doesn't even mean a smurf or touch grass.
Means go outside.
Yeah, like fucking touch grass.
Go outside.
You've been playing video games for too long.
Yeah.
Like leave your home.
Oh, like get a job.
That's funny.
So that's why when somebody fucking comes into a lobby with us in Rocket League and they're
fucking 15 times as good as us because they made a second account to shit on us.
I fucking get pissed off at them.
Like, dude, don't you have anything better to do?
What rank are you guys?
We're like, we blur between the gold platinum line.
We're not like good by any sense of the word, but you could beat, we could beat somebody
who picked the game up a day ago.
If that makes any sense.
Not fucking horrible.
So you can beat me.
You can be a hell of a lot better at the game though.
I could definitely be the beginner.
That's all I could say.
Yeah.
But like the skill ceiling in Rocket League is just absurd.
Unless you make it like a full time job, you're never going to make it to even like Grand
Champ, which isn't even that high.
What's the highest?
Supersonic Legend.
And that's like top point 1%.
What's the average?
Like I think there's most, most people are like between gold and platinum, which honestly
astounds me.
Cause that means just about everybody that's playing this game has a pretty good level
of skill, honestly.
Cause you got me up to platinum.
I remember when we played.
Yeah.
I was also popping off that day though.
And you, you were not, you were not horrible either.
Tasty just got too high and fucking sat there.
The thing is though, is that I play fucking, I'll play solos and I fucking get shit on.
Like I get absolutely like I can pull off better shots than my opponent, but they just
know how to play solos better than I do.
So they're in a better spot all the time.
I only know how to play duo.
So if I'm not playing with somebody, I fucking suck.
You need at least one tender.
I just recently got good.
Yes.
Casey just woke up and all of a sudden was like fucking scoring goals.
It was actually impressive.
That was very impressive.
I just needed somebody to like scream at me.
My ear while I was playing like you suck or something.
What a save.
I mean, I thought that you just need to get hit with what I definitely have been a deck
when we play and I don't even mean to do it.
Casey, what the fuck?
Oh, Casey, there's the pass.
I'll just see like, like wide open net.
And then the ball like flies into the corner.
It's like, fuck, we don't do that anymore though.
And it's great.
We got something to talk about.
What?
A certain member of our podcast has gotten a new piercing.
Oh God.
Fucking go.
You got this piercing and you didn't even like do it for the podcast.
You did it because you were gonna.
We're gonna pierce your nipples.
No, no, no, we are not.
That's not gonna happen.
Actually, I'm sorry to disappoint the fans and especially you too.
I will not be getting my nipples pierced on this podcast.
What about one?
I'm already gonna pull this thing out.
This was a drunk decision after I fucking passed the final.
What about a tattoo?
He already has a couple.
I already do have a, I get a fucking untitled tattoo.
It would need to be subtle though.
What if it was just something completely like that shit crazy?
We could do like the, we could do the fucking line triangle.
What if it was like fucking Obama on a surfboard?
Would you get that tattoo?
That's fucking gay.
No, no, I would do untitled.
Did you hear that Obama's gay?
In all black.
Or at least bi.
Really?
Yeah.
So like they had like a memoir about him come out.
I don't mean to cut you off, but like that just reminded me of fucking the insane thing that I heard.
But apparently he had like an auto, not an autobiography.
What's the, just a biography that was done.
And the guy who was interviewing him put in his book when he was in college, he had sexual fantasies about being with men.
And like that he always wanted to be with a man.
He really wanted to be with a woman.
And just for political clout, he ended up with Michelle, who looks like a man anyways.
She really fucking does.
She's not a pretty woman at all.
I fucking love Obama.
Yeah.
That's Michelle.
But yeah, like he did that.
And then about, I think it was like,
Bro, you fucking hate Michelle.
I forgot about the rain you went on like one of the earlier episodes.
I didn't even put that in the podcast.
Oh, you didn't?
No.
I can go on it again.
No, I'm putting it in the lost episode.
How Michelle Obama ruined my life.
Yeah.
Look for that in the greatest hits episode.
So just a quick rundown.
Michelle Obama ruined my life by changing the school lunches.
Yeah, she really did.
Fucking that sucked.
Dick.
That really sucked, Dick.
We used to have such good school lunches, then everything was awful.
Because Michelle Obama.
It's like, oh, it's pizza Friday.
It's just a fucking piece of cardboard with some sauce on it.
It's like, what the fuck?
It's like, it's not even like, it's not even good for you.
It's just less shitty.
Also, like we used to have soda machines in the fucking cafeteria.
Now we have like fucking like it had like a like juice.
And remember that ice shit?
Did you guys have ice?
It was like fucking like sparkling water with like like a flavoring.
And that shit sucked.
It was horrible.
It was like a fucking like it was like a it was like a thirsty man in the desert.
You're like, I guess it's good.
That's true.
You really would be.
It's not a better option.
I remember I drank fucking chocolate milk because of her.
Yeah, I had to drink chocolate.
That was the best thing on the menu.
I hate chocolate milk.
I actually like the ice, but like I think I like ice because there was nothing else.
Yeah, same like I like the lemon one.
I remember drinking it, but like I would never buy that in the grocery store.
I would never be happy to buy it.
Like if I see it in the grocery store now, like I see it, I actually see it in the shelves.
And I'm like, I don't.
The reason why they're not in the business because they sell to the schools and the kids are just stupid enough to buy it because they're like, it has some bubbles in it.
It must be like soda.
We got to get fucking Trump back in there so we can just sell a bat in the fucking line of just fucking opening up for beer.
I just lived off the Otis Smunk Meyer cookies.
Dude, they didn't even have them anymore.
You couldn't get so much as a fucking Nilla wafer with fucking her running the show.
It was awful.
Dude, like the fucking ice creams were like the fucking diet ice creams, too.
It was like the fucking like it was like the sugar free.
Yeah, the ones that came with that little fucking like wooden stick thing.
They were like, when everybody was like when they were like, you have to take a fruit and like everybody had to take an apple.
Yeah, like you have to take it and then everybody would just throw it out.
So then they started having like a collection bin where you just like go buy lunch and then put the apple in the bin after you took it.
That's the thing though.
Wonderfully, we all ate our apples.
What the fuck?
We all ate our apples.
I think I got an orange and I would usually eat it.
But it was like a fucking thirsty man in the desert kind of deal.
I'm hungry.
This is all I have because I would get the I get the peanut butter and jelly most days, but they wouldn't even put it on white bread either.
It was fucking like whole wheat with the fucking like like the nuts on the side.
They fucked the bread, too.
Yeah, I forgot.
It was awful.
Oh, my God.
I forgot how much of a desolate wasteland that fucking cafeteria turned into.
It was so good before.
Yeah, dude, they had like tater tots and cheeses, those cheesy filled fucking breadsticks.
Those were the fucking best.
Oh, my God.
They had the fucking the big ones.
You can't find them anywhere.
Dude, they're fucking so good.
And then Michelle Obama comes in and just goes, you get desert food.
Here's a scorpion we found.
Here's some baked, here's some fucking baked Lay's Original chips with no salt on them.
They sucked.
Oh, my God.
They were fucking horrible.
It's like where the fuck is my food?
And then after the breadsticks just tasted like soap.
It didn't even have seasoning.
It didn't have seasoning.
It was just bread.
Yeah.
And they called them the Italian Dunkers.
Yeah.
Those things fucking sucked.
And the Italian, the thing that you dunked it in was like water.
Oh, yeah.
It was fake water.
It didn't even give it a flavor.
It was just like, it's red now.
It got manufactured eight years ago and shipped to a fucking freezer.
And then the fucking pizzas were like it was so burnt because it was made out of like the shitty ingredients.
It was made out of like the skim cheese and like the whole wheat fucking dough.
So like it burned super easy.
And the fucking lunch ladies didn't give a shit.
And it's like, yeah, these kids will eat anything.
Put out a fucking cigarette on the fucking table.
I think my fucking school, if I can remember, somehow my school found a way to bypass it because there was so many complaints from the students that the pizza sucked that they made that they still sold like the state enforced pizza.
But they had another one on the side that you could get that was like a Sicilian or some shit.
Yeah, because we got we got we had like the one for homecoming week.
They'd give us actual food.
What do you think they're putting in that shit, though?
The fucking government. It's just like fucking like it's literally the lowest quality ingredients, but also like the shittiest food.
I don't know.
I don't think don't you fucking jump down a black hole here.
Substances in the kids food to make them grow up to be gay.
Good for them because I brought lunch every single fucking day because it was so bad.
That's why you're on this podcast.
Dude, I didn't even eat the school lunch.
That's true.
I ate an apple.
Wow.
That's why we're here, guys.
We didn't eat the school lunches.
We weren't controlled, bro.
Oh, my God.
The Danny, the only free thinker.
You know, Dan was before Dan was dancing the clear.
Dan made it Dan made it in before that wench ruined the fucking fucking troll.
Actually, how is he?
He's 33, he said.
I can't remember.
It blew me the fuck away.
He's 33.
So he would have graduated high school when I'm 25 and I was 16.
I was I'm 20,000.
So so he would have graduated as soon as fucking Michelle Obama came in.
Lucky fucking.
That motherfucker.
We caught the brunt of that.
Oh, we did.
We caught the whole fucking because that shit does that can't possibly still be going on
in my brother.
You can actually bring soda to school now because remember, like the lunch people would
be like, if you brought soda to school, like they would take it away from you.
I remember that when I was in elementary school, but I think in middle and high school, they
didn't give a fuck.
They didn't.
They didn't let us bring soda in.
Like it's like I try to bring in a Coke can.
I'm fucking like, I do vaguely.
That's like a core memory.
And it's a lot.
I forgot that they did that.
Yeah, they took away our sodas.
They definitely didn't enforce that in high school.
But there was one machine in the entire school that had sodas and it was in the teachers
lounge.
Yeah.
And there's a coaches.
There's it was a teachers lounge and the coaches lounge for like football and like
soccer and like all that shit.
They all they the teachers had soda and the coaches room had soda.
And like when my coach was in the fucking like the coaches room, like between like school
and practice, I'd go in there.
I put like a dollar into the thing and get a fucking soda.
He's like, hey, I bought it with my own money.
You son of a bitch.
I came in here.
My currency was good.
You'll take my money.
My coach was like, yeah, the fucking ice shit sucks.
Go ahead.
But like they had like mostly just Gatorade.
Like it was Gatorade.
And like, I think thankfully they had legit.
I remember in mind they sold actual Gatorade.
They didn't sell Gatorade in like this cafeteria one, but in the coaches one, they showed they
it was a Gatorade machine.
We had a vending machine in our in our cafeteria, I think, at least towards the end of my school.
We had a Gatorade.
We had like we had like the ice machine, like the fucking not ice like ice, like the brand
of the like the sparkling water.
And then we had a a like popsicle like machine that was only sugar free shit.
Yeah.
I was like, this fucking sucks.
I feel like I'm in hell because like after fucking school, though, like the football
team was given real food.
Like we get like spaghetti and shit before like practice and stuff because they're like,
yeah, you guys get real food because you know, dude, I remember I would leave school and
like be so happy to go home and eat instant ramen.
You're like, oh my God, it's going to taste so fucking good.
Because there's no salt, because there's no salt in the food.
You're just so fucking salt the pride.
They put fucking lysergic, at the diethyl in your fucking school lunches.
But like they didn't have salt.
They didn't have sugars like how do you make hydroxyze?
How the fuck do you make food without salt sugar?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Do they do this thing where he was craving chemicals?
They do the thing where they took away people carrying their backpacks around.
Yes, they wouldn't let us carry backpacks at school.
They were like a threat of like school shootings.
Yeah.
They wouldn't let us wear backpacks and they wouldn't let us wear hats.
And I'm like, what am I going to put in the pistol?
I did not have that.
Are you going to put a pistol in my hat?
That has to be a school to school thing.
We always had our backpacks.
We couldn't wear hats and like we would still do it anyways.
And only half the teachers gave a fuck.
I remember somebody drew a bomb on the bathroom stall one time.
There's like a circle with like the fuse coming off it.
Yeah.
And there was like a lockdown.
And so after the lockdown, they locked the bathroom, the boys bathroom in my the wing
of my high school.
So nobody could use it for like two weeks.
And that was the whole thing that resulted from that.
They're like, yeah, now nobody can use the bathroom.
Yeah.
It's like kids that would like smoke cigarettes in the bathrooms, not me.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
I think I think my school had one of those two where like a suitcase got left in front
of our building.
But there's like, what the fuck is that?
Yeah, the whole school got put on lockdown for like four hours.
They called a bomb squad and it was just some parents bag.
Yeah.
He just picked his he dropped his he came to pick his sick kid up and left it there.
And we didn't have cameras.
So we had an actual bomb threat like it was during finals.
So go figure.
But like they took us to a secondary location.
Like it was nuts.
Like they literally took us to a secondary location because like, I don't know if you
ever been through water fleet, but like the high school was where we were.
And we went to the dome by the firehouse down there.
Yeah.
Like the back.
It was like the domes, a basketball court.
So you left the school property.
Yes.
Like we were gone.
Like they got buses and shit.
I'm like, bro, there's like a school shooter or something.
And then they called that in.
They could have gunned us all down as we were coming out of the school.
And not only that, but if once they get you in the secondary location, that's probably
the worst place you could be.
I mean, it was all he heard it up like sheep.
All he needs is an AR-15.
We had fucking like cops.
Dude, we had like fucking like troopers with fucking machine guns in the fucking thing.
I'm like, holy shit.
And like my dad came to pick me up.
He's like, what the fuck was that about?
I'm like, I don't know.
We're like, dad, I literally just am glad because I didn't have to turn my paperwork
into Mrs. Tyler's room.
There's probably so many threats now that they don't even like take that seriously anymore.
I mean, unless you're shooting up to school, they probably like send one officer and be
like, yeah.
I think we're also on a string of like people trying school shootings and getting put the
fuck down.
It's like the internet.
It's not like because the internet is so prevalent now.
But also like, yeah, like the fucking shooters will like leak a manifesto like the day before
they do it.
And then they get fucking murked.
Like the fuck off.
Yeah.
Like the fucking transgender one.
She got murked.
Yeah.
I know she took a couple of people down before she went out.
Like to video, they had no problems showing the video.
That was weird because the US news had no problem showing her get shot.
They just fucking blurred the face.
Oh yeah.
She got fucking mowed down.
That was it.
Dude, like they fucking they gunned her and then they went over and they put two in her
head when she was on the ground.
I was like, holy shit.
I don't remember this problem of school shootings being this bad when I was a kid.
Like it wasn't.
It wasn't like it became like you only heard about like Columbine and like Columbine.
It's Columbine.
You fucking.
I don't know why it's because it's that now that generation is coming up with like these
fucking dates and shrined and everyone's and we over glorify it too.
So much because Columbine happened in 90 takes one on mentally unstable person to do it.
They know they can leave a massive impact if they fucking shoot a place up.
Dude, if you're going to take, if you're going to just do that, if you're doing it to take
yourself out, just fucking take yourself out like a fucking man.
Don't be a pussy and take out fucking other people because you're fucking sad.
Yeah, like that's fucking shitty.
Like these fucking people that like go in there.
It's like I want to make a mark.
And I want to take dude, just fucking take yourself out.
Like these people had nothing to do with it.
Like they might have made you sad and shit.
But if you're fucking like, I'm going to you're indiscriminately killing people from a population
like just fucking take yourself out.
If you're fucking that sad, like it's like, yeah, we lose one who fucking cares.
There's a million deaths a day at least.
So guess what, someone's going to be born, replace your ass.
All right.
So this is, so what I'm understanding, what I'm understanding Tyler is that we want the
viewers to know that they should kill themselves.
If they're planning a school shooting, do like, I don't think that's, I don't think
that's a controversial opinion.
If you're planning a school shooting, just fucking kill yourself official stance of or
just seek psychiatric help that might be a safer blanket.
And if you make psychiatric help, help, but if you know you're going to shoot a school
up, just kill yourself.
I think official stance.
Yeah.
Get some help.
If it doesn't work, just kill yourself.
There's no other options.
Just take your own life.
There's no sense in taking 30 bro.
Well, fine.
I got dark.
Fuck it.
You know, we started with the fucking school lunches.
Thanks for tuning into the Christmas episode of the podcast.
Merry Christmas.
Obama's gay.
His wife looks like a fucking man.
Straight into, she fucked our lunches.
She fucked our lunches.
School shootings.
Kill yourself.
Merry Christmas.
We're off to a hot start today.
So I got so new, listen to our podcast now.
Oh shit.
Holy fuck.
Oh, that's bad ass.
Is he going to come on?
I'm trying to get him on.
He's got to come on.
So do on the bar.
Oh, there he goes.
Shit.
Oh, so do.
Oh God.
I saw on the news this week that Russia and China are flying military.
Oh, that's good.
That ain't very good at all.
Like they're, they're doing it to show a lion.
They're doing it to show us the US.
Yo, what do you think about that?
Casey?
I don't get a fucking fucking bad.
Give them the fucking.
I think it's not very good because China now we should, but now it shows that China and
Russia are going to team up and they're doing this as like a show of power against the United
States.
Dude, Russia's military is in fucking shambles.
Dude, we would fucking Merck them.
Like I'm just saying it wouldn't even be close.
We'd wipe the floor with them.
Yeah.
They fucking scrambled jets out there.
America has the top fucking we in out of the top 10 militaries that have air forces, America
has four because yeah, because China, China and Russia.
So Russia's like, like took off and started flying toward Japan and there's like converge
and the US and Japan was like, what the fuck are they doing?
Like fucking bomb Hiroshima again.
Actually, that would be more imagine if there was some old guy who saw us like survive the
first bomb.
So the top 10 largest military branches in the world by air military aircraft is number
one, the United States Air Force.
Number two, the United States Army Aviation.
Number three, the Russian Air Force.
Number four, the United States Navy.
Number seven, the United States Marine Corps.
Yeah, we've got the fucking China's not even on the list.
Yeah, we have to.
We have four of the top 10.
The entire world has four of the top 10.
Yeah, I just we'd we'd fucking destroy.
I mean, obviously we have enough to nuke the world several times over, but I don't think
that like they're going to attack the US, but there's the amount of proxy war, the amount
of air, air warships that each country has.
The United States has five thousand two hundred and seventeen.
Russia is second with three thousand eight hundred and sixty three and then China is
in third place with one thousand nine hundred and ninety one.
So they could just if they teamed up, they would have as much as we do.
Yeah.
But Russia's is all fucking like third generation fighters and fourth generation fighters.
We have fifth and possibly sixth generation fighters.
And you're also not counting our allies either.
Yeah.
Like we're not the only air force that like if Russia and China like they have they're
like, oh, cool, we have enough.
We have more than America.
And it's just like, well, also England has the like six largest air force on the planet
and Australia has the eighth.
So, you know, just keep adding that on top of our shit.
It's like they're not going to stop us.
I think World War Three, it would be a slow agonizing win for the US and its allies, like
even more so than World War Two.
Oh, we'd win, but it would take a super long time.
Take a lot of deaths.
You know, probably us.
Probably us.
Is that loud on the headphones?
Yeah, that's good.
Oh, geez.
Yeah.
New blood puzzles for Jeopardy.
South Korea has eight hundred and ninety eight jets.
What does North Korea have?
Nine hundred and forty six, but they're all third generation.
Yeah.
So they get fucking destroyed.
They'd be lucky to take one of us down.
So like from World War Two, right?
No, that's Vietnam era.
Vietnam and like Gold War.
Yeah.
So they're not really going to be doing much with those.
It's like first generation fighters are like B 52 or P 52 Mustangs and shit.
Then like second generation fighters are like our first jets.
Third generation fighters like the F 16s and shit like that.
At 14 or fourth, fifth is like the Raptors and fucking shit.
And in sixth that we don't have the are the weird special ops shit that they fucking.
We definitely don't have.
Yeah, no way.
Fucking Dark Star like Dark Star level shit.
That's like sixth generation.
Who was arguing with that about that one time that the Dark Star's real?
Yeah, it was me.
Oh yeah.
I was just trying to say that the that the prop was not the actual Dark Star.
We have a dark star like on the movie set.
That is a plane, but it only goes like four.
It only goes like Mach 4.
The one that's used in the movie does not go Mach 10.
No, it's not.
I understand.
I understand that Tom Cruise didn't fly.
We have.
We definitely don't have planes that can go Mach 10.
We definitely don't.
Those aren't real.
United States government.
We are saying that they're not real.
Yeah, we don't know anything.
Yeah, we never even looked into the news.
We're looked into the technology.
Why would we do that?
But the Dark Star does exist, right?
Like the actual Star type thing.
It has to fucking.
Yeah, there's some.
There's no like confirmation of it, but like it's it's brought.
There's no way we don't fucking have it.
I think we have things that are crazier than a Dark Star.
Dude, there's fucking probably we have like fucking space lasers and shit like, yeah,
like you don't have a fucking target indicator.
Yeah, like the target indicator shit.
But like, dude, I guarantee you we have space lasers that can fucking melt people from like
fucking space.
Yeah, we do.
Guarantee it.
Fucking orbital strikes.
Tactical nuke inbound!
Oh shit.
Oh fuck.
Dude, they fucked my job.
You got it.
You got to figure out that nobody's had over 20 confirmed kills because they did.
We had to get a tactical nuke.
That's true.
Like it's it's it's basic science.
It is.
That's why you just get a call on the radio.
All you guys do is just get a call on the radio.
You just get a call on the radio.
All you gotta do is press one button.
And it will kill you.
But it's worth it because you got a tactical nuke.
Yep.
All right.
Merry Christmas.
Kill yourself.
What have you guys learned this year on the Untitled Podcast?
Well, that's a lot.
You know, I learned the basics to quantum theory.
Kanye was crazy.
Kanye's always been crazy.
Yeah, he's been a little.
What?
In a year in review, what was the thing that we talked about?
I'm just going to go through the basics of each of our episodes on Spotify here and see
see what we talked about.
See see what we talked about.
Basic reminder.
What?
What was your favorite moment?
I learned that the metaverse is a scary, scary thing.
We got.
Email is what?
Vitamins.
We learned a lot from the podcast.
73 at Gmail.com.
We know we know.
Oh yeah.
Talk.
Talk about vitamins.
We learned a lot from Dan, the vitamin man.
Shout out, Dan.
We got fucking Joel Olsteen.
I'm still coming for you.
I'm still good.
Fuck yourself.
Merry Christmas to everybody.
But Joel's exactly Muslims to Merry Christmas.
Wow.
Jehovah Witnesses.
Merry Christmas.
The Jews.
Merry Christmas to you as well.
To the pagans.
Merry Christmas.
Even though you probably already converted.
Is there any more pagans anymore?
Is there even pagans anymore?
Yeah.
People think they're pagans, but fucking.
Sure, buddy.
We talked about Bravo.
Unknown medicals.
Lies.
By the way, I listened to that old fucking pod.
You and Phil lied a lot on that.
Holy shit.
A lot of that stuff did not happen.
Most of it involving me.
Also, we have to have it do a year in review.
And we also have to do a rest in peace Jerry Springer.
Rest in peace Jerry Springer.
That's true.
I'm getting arrested for no good reason.
There was some reason.
Han Solo hot dog.
I don't remember what the fuck that was about.
Shout out hot, solo hot dogs.
What was that one?
Yeah, I don't remember what hot solo hot dog.
We were just yelling at each other about fucking politics.
The insurrection intervention.
The gayest episode of twice.
Twenty three.
I forgot about that one.
The audio book of fifty shades of gray.
What do you think Santa is pagan gay?
Who wants to be a millionaire before taxes?
These titles are really fun.
Don Juan's Palo Alto.
Don Juan's Palace.
The VR episode.
The first one.
Oh yeah.
The sorcerer stone.
Shout out to our guest noon.
Shout out to noon.
Noon.
Come on buddy.
We need you back.
Shout out to all the guests.
Shout out train man.
Shout out Dan.
Fucking train man.
Dan F.
Phil, even though you lied about me, we'll shout you out too.
Dan said he's out.
Dan's out.
Dan said he's out.
Fuck.
Dan's not coming?
Bruh, it's the Christmas.
Well, we just lost the critical member of the team here.
Damn Daniel.
Dan's going to hang me out to dry on the new bussers tonight.
Fucking hell.
Oh lord.
So we did a ghost hunt in the woods.
That was so spooky.
We talked about vitamins.
We talked about Trump, that we always do.
We talked about how Michelle Obama ruined our life and our childhood.
We talked about Obama.
We talked about Biden.
We talked about fucking the VR multiverse that's going to take over.
We talked about Elon Musk.
Fucking Elon.
We talked about how 9-11 is not a conspiracy.
Talked about building seven a lot.
Fight 93.
Building seven is still bound to come up in just about every episode.
We talked about fucking, you know, doing God's work.
We talked about, I'm trying to convert these fellows real quick.
We talked about black holes.
We talked about a lot of space shit.
We'll leave it at that.
Oh, we got a good Dan here.
Alright, let's take a break.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Corumbus.
We'll be back.
AIDS.
Welcome back, buddies.
Yeah, that was a little weird that we kind of got off track there.
We started talking about things that we did.
We don't talk about the past here, motherfuckers.
We talk about the present and the fucking future.
The past isn't real.
The present isn't real.
The future is the only real thing we got.
The only thing that hasn't been written yet is the fucking future.
Welcome back to Untitled Podcast, motherfucker.
Episode fuck you.
It's about what's coming up.
We got better things.
We got buzzers now.
It's about the future.
Maybe the show doesn't suck anymore.
What about that?
You hear that?
Oh, God.
Yeah, don't bring it much closer.
They hurt.
But 2024 is the year of the Untitled Podcast.
And World War Three, baby.
Let's go.
We're going to beat Joe Rogan in the ratings, motherfucker.
We're going to get up there in the ratings.
We're going to beat Joe Rogan.
We're going to beat the fucking Crime Stoppers podcast.
We're going to beat up there with Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan, I'm coming for your ass, motherfucker.
He's good.
We're going to beat Joe Rogan.
Motherfucker.
I'm going to kill you, Joe Rogan.
OK.
Joe Rogan is going to wish he could be a guest on this podcast by December next year.
OK.
Mark my words.
And we are going to fucking let him on.
Fuck.
Or we're going to be too busy.
We're going to...
And then we're all going to get fucking arrested for hate speech.
And it's over.
How can it be called hate speech when I love doing it?
I'm pulling Joe Rogan into my schedule.
Fucking Rosa Parks in the back of a paddy wagon.
Oh, Joe Rogan.
That wasn't a death threat.
I got a little excited there.
It was a joke.
It was a joke, Joe.
You understand.
But we are going to murder you in the ratings.
And we're not going to let you on.
Anyways.
This is a new podcast of 2024.
Here we go.
Holy shit.
I got a little out of hand there for a second.
I need to calm down.
No, no.
It's good.
We're coming back in.
We're high energy.
High energy.
We're ready to go.
Ellie Mack, talk about some quantum physics.
No, no, no.
I want to talk about Fanta.
No, he's been wanting to go on Fanta for a while.
So you know who else was high energy?
The Nazi party in Germany.
Yes, they were.
So this little drink right here that I got, it's called Fanta.
Isn't that the shit from fucking Insane Clown Posse?
No, that's Fago.
What's the difference?
That this is the real brand stuff.
Fago is like the knockoff brand of Fanta.
So are you part of the Insane Clown Posse?
No, I'm part of not any party.
Good answer.
Good answer, Tyler.
Good answer.
Why are they obsessed with soda anyway?
I don't know.
But I'll tell you about the Fanta story.
So Fanta or Fuego?
Fanta.
I'll tell you about Fuego after.
Fuego after.
Fuego.
That's fire in Spanish.
Yeah.
So Fanta is a drink that was developed in Germany in 1937.
If you noticed anything about that year, something else was starting around Germany at that point.
So.
AIDS?
The Nazi party.
So the Nazi party started doing some, you know, unsavory things.
So the United States stopped sending.
We started getting a little extremist in some ways.
So the United States stopped sending over Coca-Cola to Germany as a punishment.
The people of Germany loved Coca-Cola.
They loved Coca-Cola.
As everyone should, Coca-Cola is delicious.
I just like happy dads, bro.
So what we have here is in Germany, they got down to their literal last Coca-Cola.
There was one left and they gave it to the designer of Fanta.
The person who invented Fanta decided that he wanted to recreate Coca-Cola in Germany with the things that he had.
But he never was able to get close to the actual taste of Coca-Cola, partially due to the fact that he was not able to use sugar in his drink because the Nazi party had put so...
They took, they rationed sugar out so much that they couldn't, he couldn't use sugar.
So then a man by the name of Adolf Hitler came along and wanted to talk to the designer of Fanta.
And, you know, Fanta was trying to do a whole bunch of shit.
They're using fucking dried fruits and stuff to try this, to make the, make the soda better.
It just wasn't sweetening enough.
So then Mr. Adolf Hitler...
But Fanta tastes nothing like Coca-Cola.
It doesn't because they made their own soda afterwards.
So that's what Fanta ended up becoming.
So Adolf Hitler came along and started talking to Mr. Fanta.
We'll call him for now.
I don't know his exact name.
The doctor Fanta.
Doctor Fanta.
But, and he's like, hey, listen, I know you're trying to make a soda right now because Coca-Cola is gone.
So I will give you all the sugar you need.
But on the stipulation that Fanta becomes a Nazi propaganda tool.
So Fanta decided to be like, sure.
OK, whatever.
Why not?
So Fanta got the sugar and then they made the world's first orange soda.
And then the German people ended up loving Fanta and they put it on all their fucking Nazi propaganda posters.
You know how in American propaganda posters they had like the soldiers with the Coca-Cola and stuff?
That was like our thing in World War II.
Germany had SS officers holding Fanta's and drinking Fanta's in their in their things.
So technically, just like who's a Hugo Boss, Fanta is a Nazi product.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Jesus.
Outlawed.
Now, no more fucking Fanta.
It's Nazi propaganda, or at least it used to be.
And Dr. Pepper is better anyway.
Funnily enough, Dr. Pepper is now owned by the Coca-Cola company.
Yes, yes, it is.
So it went from being one of the biggest competitors to being owned by Coca-Cola.
Yeah, because whoever owned Dr. Pepper was a smart man and said, wow, I can really cash out right now.
No, Dr. Fanta.
Fanta is owned by Coca-Cola as well.
I know.
I want Tyler to tell us a Christmas story.
Do you want me to do like a night before Christmas or something?
I can do that.
I want you to tell me how it happened in real life.
I'll tell you the story of Jesus.
Yes.
Give me some Christmas music.
We need some Silent Night.
We need like a Silent Night choir with no lyrics.
Silent Night choir?
Yeah, do like something quiet.
So we're going to tell you the story, the true story of Christmas.
So a long, long, long time ago, approximately 2023 years ago, in a little town called Bethlehem.
New York.
In a little town called Bethlehem.
Little Hamlet.
A couple known as Joseph and Mary had to be called back to Bethlehem due to a census that was taking place in Bethlehem.
So they went all the way from Nazareth to Bethlehem and the pregnant Mary was feeling a little weak.
So they went to all the hotels in the town of Bethlehem.
Every hotel in Bethlehem was all packed up, all booked up, no vacancies because everybody was going back to Bethlehem for the census that was going on.
So Mary was feeling awfully, awfully weak at this point and the only place they could find that would let them in was a manger.
And this manger would become the most important manger to ever exist because only a few hours later there's a little boy.
Is a manger just a cradle?
No, a manger is the fucking farm retard.
In this manger, Mary laid down and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who would become the savior of the human race and also God himself, Jesus.
When Jesus came into this world, there was a bright north star that appeared and led three wise men to his place.
So Jesus, the savior of all mankind, God himself was born.
Can you tell me the north star just appeared two thousand years ago?
Yes. Jesus.
Alright, well we'll talk about Polaris. We'll talk about Polaris later.
Okay, so our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, was born in a farm with animals and nothing else. And he was born in that nice, nice manger and Mary was there to keep him warm.
And then angels guided three wise men to him who brought him three gifts, one of frankincense, one of myrrh and one of fine gold.
They brought him incest?
They brought him incest, bro.
Like actually?
They brought him frankincense, myrrh and gold. That was the three gifts that were brought to Jesus.
Like the incest?
Yes, like the incest. That's why it's used in the fucking church, you fucking inbred.
Oh, I guess they do burn incense, right?
Yes, they do, Casey. That's so fucking crazy.
The story of Christmas is a beautiful tale. Jesus, our Lord and savior, was born in a filthy manger, but he was our Lord and savior.
So even if you were born in a box in Arbor Hill, that doesn't mean that you can't strive for greatness.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Well said, Tyler.
Merry Christmas. That was a nice fairy tale, Tyler.
Fuck you.
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it thoroughly.
I think.
Wait, you didn't talk about the part about how Mary was a virgin.
Yeah, Mary. Yeah, she never got fucked.
Yeah, she got, it was the only virgin birth.
Tyler, do you think that there's Christians that sexualize the mother Mary?
Do you think that's for real?
No.
It'd be like, dude, that's the pussy that fucking Jesus came out of. There's gotta be some guys that fucking want to be that.
Don't talk about my mom that way.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Well, what if mother Mary was a milf? I don't know.
She was 14.
Oh, she was 14 years old?
Yeah, Mary was 14 when she had Jesus.
Oh, never mind. We're canceled.
No, Jesus actually fucked Mary Magdalene.
Sure, Casey. That's a great, great fairy tale that you're telling.
No, like historically.
No, look, I was all for the story outside of those two big plot holes there.
Fucking Mary just having a child and then also Polaris or the North Star just jumping into existence.
Fucking God came down and fucked her with his invisible dick.
Well, that's not what happened, but OK.
Don't you think it was like, don't you think that the North Star popping into existence might be metaphorical?
I don't care.
OK.
Perhaps he's just a Jehovah's Witness.
Jehovah's Witness. What did Jehovah actually witness?
Jehovah.
What did the witnesses witness with Jehovah? What did Jehovah do?
They witnessed Jehovah.
OK.
I don't know. We'd have to ask Dan, I think.
Yeah.
Where the fuck are you?
What do you think, Dan? What do you think? Oh, really? Wow. That's great. Come here.
Can I smoke a cigarette down here?
I wouldn't.
Why?
It's fucking cold.
Jesus Christ, bro.
God.
Those things look mighty fucking fine right now.
Alright. Let's take another break.
No, we're not taking another break.
No, I think we should. I got some ramen I want to make.
Alright, we'll be back on the next episode of Podcasts.
This is a shitty episode.
Hey, everybody else is outside right now, but I just wanted to give you a little talk real quick.
Thank you guys for listening to the internal podcast.
We're doing the best we can here. You know, this show kind of sucks sometimes, but we're really good people.
You know, spread the word about us. We're out here doing everything we can, making everybody feel good, right?
It's a real wholesome and fun show.
Everybody's got to go. Love you guys.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
There'll be scary ghost stories. That's what we're coming back into is ghosts and blue key and time.
There'll be scary ghost stories and more scary ghost stories of Christmases long, long ago.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
Welcome back, everybody.
I hope you got a little message from me there at the beginning.
I just want to tell you guys that these guys might not know what that is, but you will know.
The song?
No.
I know what the song is.
Casey, you don't know what Christmas is. What the fuck are you talking about?
I have the most Christmas tree of anybody at this table.
You are the fucking Grinch of this table.
Let me tell you a story about the Grinch who stole Christmas.
Was he real?
His name was called Casey.
He's a fucking tall gangly man that tries to steal people's presents and Christmas cheer.
And there's Tyler, AKA Santa Christ.
It's because I don't believe in Jesus.
Yeah, so you shouldn't celebrate the holiday.
Fuck you.
This is so hot it hurts, but I can't stop myself.
Yeah, he's over here eating fucking ramen like an Asian fucking weirdo.
Very fucking delicious.
Very, very spicy.
I'll fuck everybody.
Let me get a bite of that.
You seem like you're having a rough time.
Why do people like spicy foods? I never got that.
Because, like, the pain, like...
It feels good.
No, it doesn't.
It does.
Basically, why do you like going to the gym?
Because the pain feels good.
I love the way I look afterwards.
It's not the fucking pain that's good.
It's fucking looking good, bro.
It's going to be hotter than you think it is.
What are you, a pussy?
Nope, give it a little bit.
I'm telling you.
It fucking packs up.
So...
What's going through your head right now?
Ooh, that's...
What's going on?
It's not a pushover or a little robin there.
I wonder if you're going to rip that fucking gay ass piercing off.
I can't.
Our mics are fucked.
Oh, now there's Nako.
Did Tyler fuck the mic?
And now we're back.
Alright, back.
We finally had technical difficulties.
We had, like, what, six episodes in a row without him?
Yeah, because you fucked the mic.
I didn't fuck the mic.
You literally stood up, whacked your dick out, and fucked the mic.
It did happen.
Merry Christmas.
So, can we talk about our favorite Christmas movies?
What's your favorite Christmas movie, Ali?
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
That's a fantastic one.
Me too.
Casey, that's your favorite too?
Yeah, because I used to watch that every year.
My favorite is A Christmas Story.
Christmas Story?
Yeah, the one with Ralphie.
Yeah, you were a crackhead just like that kid.
Fuck off!
It reminds me of being a kid.
Yeah, a kid who was.
You seemed like the kid who would want a BB gun to shoot people's eyes out.
I got a BB gun for Christmas. It was great. I loved it.
How old were you?
Ten. I was ten when I got my BB gun.
You guys wouldn't let me have a BB gun when I was ten?
My parents probably gave me one around the same time, honestly.
I was a country kid though. That was normal.
I was a city kid and got it.
What the fuck do you use a BB gun for?
I got it because of the movie. I got a Red Ryder BB gun.
I asked for it for every year until I got it when I was ten.
And literally until last year it still worked. I broke off the handle this year.
Oh shit. I had a Daisy Powerline 1400.
And that thing fucking Merxed Squirrels.
It was pumping up twenty times. It had a scope on it.
That thing might as well have been a fucking.22.
My dad got a fucking crosshair. I forgot what it was. It was a crosshair though.
And that thing shot out like the fucking mini balls.
And it was like a.22. That thing would just fucking rip through shit.
That thing could kill somebody.
I shot my cousin with it and the BB is embedded in the skin from it.
I have three BBs embedded in my leg. When I go through metal detectors I beep because I have fucking metal in my leg.
There you go.
I got a BB gun. We could shoot Ali Mac on the podcast.
No we're not going to do that.
Because then Ali Mac will bring the Daisy 1400 Powerline with him.
Which he still owns.
We should go airsofting. We really should.
I love doing airsofting.
Let's call up my old buddy Zach while we're at it.
Dude I see him there constantly.
He's such a fucking asshole.
I see him there constantly.
Yeah.
I go like fucking like probably like every three months and every time I go he's there.
He thinks he's like a professional.
If you want to see Ali Mac get shot on the podcast, tag us on X and write hashtag shoot.
And I will shoot Ali Mac in the head with a BB gun.
No he will not.
Because I will murder Casey.
If anybody writes hashtag shoot on Twitter I have to.
No.
I mean X.
Yeah it's not even Twitter anymore.
Alex Jones is back.
He's been posting some shit.
So fucking...
What else can we talk about?
Well no talk about Alex Jones.
Is he actually back?
Yeah he's back on Twitter.
He's on well X now.
Yeah he's back. He got reinstated.
We talked about it last week.
Does he still have fucking...
Lawsuits?
Well no I know he has his lawsuits.
But is he still like Infowars.com?
Oh yeah Infowars.com still up and running.
Prisonplanet.com is up and running.
Horsecum.com isn't running anymore.
They shut down Horsecum.com.
How could they do this?
We needed to come back.
That's the one Christmas miracle we beg of you is please reopen Horsecum.com back up.
We need it.
GoDaddy.com Horsecum.
GoDaddyHorsecum.com
Dude did anybody else used to think GoDaddy.com was like a porn site?
Like from like the commercials?
I didn't but yeah Danica Patrick made it seem that way.
Like it was like a porn site yeah.
I love how she was like she tried to make it like such a big move of like feminism to become the first NASCAR racer.
And then just proceeded to get completely objectified.
Because all the NASCAR fans are is just a bunch of drunk redneck white dudes.
Dale.
Why do people even like NASCAR?
Dude honestly I was into it as a kid.
I was into it as a kid.
There's a lot that goes into it but when it comes to racing there's just better shit to watch.
Like F1 is like.
Rally races bro.
I mean rally races too because there's so much skill that goes into that.
And F1 too.
You fucking have a split second.
But F1 drivers are all douchebags.
They're all douchebags but dude their fucking brains are insane.
But they're all like French douchebags.
I know.
And I don't like the French.
They're not all French.
They're all different countries.
That's why I like it too.
Nah dude the rally races though.
Those fuckers go through like dirt roads at like 200 miles per hour.
And they're like tree tree tree tree.
And they fucking skirt around and I'm like holy fuck.
Left easy 400. Left easy 100.
Triple caution.
You have to listen to me Samir.
You need to listen to me.
Remember I sent that meme to my ex roommate of a similar name to that.
Because I was like yeah this is you drunk driving home from every bar every time I go out with you.
Because he fucking did that shit.
Triple caution left.
Triple caution.
You have to listen to me.
I'm so hysterical.
The fucking name is the same.
Pull that up.
I saw that meme and I was like this is literally what it is.
Yeah pull that up.
Triple caution you are seeing in triple vision Samir.
Yeah Casey pull that up on YouTube.
The audio is the funny part.
It is.
Yeah what the fuck.
But you can see they're fucking flying through the.
What I don't know what I'm looking at.
Rally rally rally.
Yeah it's like Samir.
Samir rally race.
Yeah.
Triple caution.
It's like a.
Samir you're breaking the car.
That's it.
Samir you're breaking the car.
One go.
Fast sharp right.
Just go by like it's so nervous.
Listen.
Samir you have to listen to my call Samir.
Please.
I beg you.
Fast medium right.
You have to turn the wheel Samir.
Fast medium left.
50 downhill triple caution.
Triple caution.
This is like We Driver training.
Triple caution.
This is literally how I felt every single day.
Whoa whoa whoa.
Concentrate Samir please.
Medium left long.
Stop sign.
Medium left.
Stop sign.
Medium left.
Medium left nice and easy.
Fast medium left long.
Long in in.
Fast medium left.
Long in in.
Fast medium left.
Stop sign.
Medium left.
Slow.
In, in, in, in, medium right concentrate, medium left, medium left, medium left, listen
to my calls, medium left into sharp left, you are not concentrating Samy, you are watching
out and driving.
Samy, you have to listen Samy, otherwise it is not working Samy, seriously, you are watching
and driving.
You have to be easy Samy, otherwise we won't win it.
You have to be easy Samy, I am telling you, you are not listening.
Shut up man, no I am just giving you advice Samy.
Shut up man.
Into double caution jump, double caution jump, no stay on the road.
Samy, Samy, Samy, Samy, Samy, Samy, fast medium right, listen to the calls, Samy please
listen to the calls, sharp left.
Samy you have to stay on the road Samy, otherwise the car will break down.
Samy, Samy you will wreck the car.
You have to stay on the road Samy please.
Okay, okay, okay.
Samy, Samy what are you doing man?
Samy can you please concentrate, please, please I beg you.
This is literally me pleading with my roommate on the way home.
Samy, Samy, you are wrecking the car.
Oh I am trying to play Jeopardy.
Shut up, Samy what are you doing my friend, shut up.
Shut up.
Don't tell me how to drive.
Yeah that shit is so fucking funny.
I laugh every single time I see that shit.
Samy, Samy, Samy, Samy, triple caution, triple caution right, triple caution right, what
are you doing Samy?
You are going to break the car, you are breaking the car Samy.
You need to take it easy, you are driving with your eyes.
The only thing I remember about NASCAR when I was growing up was Teledigga Nights and the
fact that.
You are not first you are last.
Yeah the fact that I, my best friend when I was a kid, his family was like white trash
and they liked NASCAR and that was the only thing I knew about it.
If you ejaculate the terrorist twin.
That is a thought process.
There is one way to put that.
I agree, I agree.
You think if you ejaculate the terrorist twin, you do?
Casey, what evidence do you have to support these claims?
I don't know, ask Tyler, he is the one who does no nut right and Dan, Dan does no nut.
I like how Dan and Tyler are the ones who do no nut and they are also the ones who like
going to night moves.
Dude, I don't like that shit anymore.
So what happened your last time at night moves?
I am sure you and Dan commented this but give me the TLDR.
No they didn't tell about this on the podcast.
It was a disaster.
Everybody was real sad.
Why was everybody real sad?
The strippers were real ugly.
She went up on the stage and no one threw a single dollar at her for four minutes.
I felt so bad.
Why did you throw a dollar at her then?
She was ugly.
You have to be honest, you have to find a new line of work.
You can't coach her on.
And then another one came out and somebody threw five dollars and that's it.
For the entire night.
And everybody was ugly.
So like they were making no money whatsoever.
They were making zero dollars.
So this was just a place of a bunch of men just being like what the fuck.
Pretty much.
How many people were there?
Seven.
How fucking ugly was she?
They weren't like awful looking but like you know, not like I'm throwing money at you because
you're attractive type shit.
She was just like an Arkansas eight.
Like, you know, you just feel like you got to contribute though.
Arkansas.
You can't just enjoy the show for free even though you don't enjoy it.
So here's a pity five.
Yeah, pretty much fucking hell.
That sounds horrible.
She wasn't even dead when her song looked at the DJ shrugged and walked off the stage.
It was awful.
She was just sick of wasting her time.
It was so funny.
I would go just to see that.
Yeah, that does sound funny.
Oh my God.
It was so fucking funny.
I was trying not to.
I felt like such an awful person.
What?
So she was just sick of not making money and was like, fuck it.
Like, fuck you guys.
Exactly.
She didn't even finish her dance.
You know, she'll learn from that night though.
Oh my God.
And then everybody who came out got zero dollars.
Well, it's not like that.
That was probably the worst night in like months.
It was so fucking funny.
It's not like that's night's going to happen again.
Dude, it's so awful.
It was so bad.
So there wasn't like a single lap dance, pot or anything.
So the establishment is a whole...
They just lost money.
There was just a rough night for them.
The payroll for them without tips.
I mean, that was later in the night.
They might have made money earlier in the night, but like there's this one Asian guy who just looked angry the whole time.
He went there to see some boon and cheat on his wife and he showed up and he's like, wow, I feel like such a piece of shit now.
There's one Asian guy and then there's this one fucking old guy who kept on putting his dollars.
Like the only money they were making was from this old guy and he'd put a dollar bill on top of his beer and then they just take it and he'd be like, yep.
And then he'd be like, anything else?
And they're like, nope.
They just take the money with their hands and then leave.
Like you got like five dollars.
And you got to bend down to pick it up.
Not because I want to see just because I don't want to go to the effort of getting it any closer to you.
Dude, it was awful.
You know, you know, it sucks if Dan doesn't even just pants.
It doesn't take much.
He's called fucking dirty.
He called her for a reason.
So fucking bad.
I never want to go to strip club.
His pants were dry that night.
I never want to go to strip club ever again because of that experience.
The fact that at first I thought it was just you fucking blowing smoke.
But then Dan came in and agreed.
He's like, yeah, it was just a bad night.
It was bad, dude.
It was rough.
The fact that you were so over the moon with this for weeks, you show up once and you're like, I'm not going back there ever again.
And then Dan was talking about how there was like a stripper that like kept talking to him the entire time.
Like trying to give her life story.
Dan's like, yeah, OK, cool.
Yeah.
Like when's your birthday?
Well, didn't come here for that birthday.
It was not cool.
He's like, yeah, sure.
It's trying to talk to me.
And I'm like, I don't like talking to people like, please move on.
Like I want to strip club.
What do you expect?
And one lady comes up and she was like, hey, hey, hey, hot stuff.
And I'm like, please don't talk to me.
It felt like a fucking autistic weirdo.
This came out.
She was like, hey, hot stuff.
I saw you looking at me dancing up there.
My police don't talk to me.
And I just put my foot up.
At least you were honest.
I put my foot up and I felt like this and my three strippers came over like, we'll give you a triple dance for the same price.
And I'm like, I don't want to talk to you guys like you're trying.
And I appreciate that.
But like, I'm just not interested in what you're offering me like at all.
So please, I think they're a racist.
Really?
Because there was three black strippers there and they were the only ones that got zero dollars.
And the two white ones that were there, there's three white ones that were there.
And they actually got some pity cash.
But like, the black ones got nothing.
I'm like, everyone here is super racist, including the black guys who were there.
And including you, Tyler.
I was in the back, dude.
Because you only throw money when you're at the stage.
Yeah, like if you're sitting in the back, he's kind of like, you know, chill type thing.
So I was chilling in the back and nobody was throwing money at the black women.
I'm like, dude, these guys are legitimately racist.
They're just sitting there three inches away looking straight at her cooter.
Just like, not worth a cent.
I don't like your kind.
That's fucking horrible.
I'm like, what the fuck?
And the black dudes who were there, like there were black dudes who were there.
They didn't throw money either.
There's like, damn, it was just a rough night.
Like it like, you know, strip clubs normally make you feel grimy.
This one, I was just, I felt like I was like a monster.
Like I was just like, God damn, this is rough.
Well, you're going to a strip club over the holidays.
What do you expect?
It was just like, this is so sad.
Like they're like, they would come up and talk to you.
And I just had a conversation with a stripper, like just like a normal conversation.
She was like basically naked and was just talking to me about fucking sports.
Like, Hey, you played Baldur's gate?
Yeah, I know.
Your favorite companions.
I'm a fucking grand wizard.
I'm a big shadow heart guy.
I like shadow heart.
She's my favorite.
Is that a stripper?
No, that was it.
That's a character in Baldur's gate.
If you fucking played for more than five minutes, you'd get.
I just got the game, bro.
Shadow heart is the first companion you meet beside Lazelle.
Dude, I'm actually getting really excited to play this game now.
Dude, I finally have the time to play it.
It's so fucking good.
It's so good.
I'll come back.
Like, is it going to be fun for me to play with you though?
Because I feel like if you just Merk everything, I'm just not going to start a brand new character.
Like I'll go through and play with you.
All right.
Like if you want me to do that, because like, or if there's like a really like tough boss or something, I'm like, Hey, a really tough boss is coming up.
Do you want me to bring my fucking superhero in pretty much?
I will do that with you on the condition that you play rocket league with me and Casey.
Okay.
Bro.
Bro, you can fucking do it though.
I hate.
Far too angry of a person.
Dude fucking.
Play with us.
I literally broke three of my controllers playing fucking rocket league.
I almost wanted to break mine last night.
I'm not going to lie.
Dude, it was real grumpy.
It makes me so irrationally angry.
Like I hate that game so much.
Like my brother and I like we're playing UFC and then like I was kicking his ass the whole fucking the whole fucking like thing.
We got to like round three.
He was like down to like zero health and I have like almost all of it.
He did like one roundhouse kick to my head and I got knocked out.
I haven't played with him since because I was so angry.
I remember my cousin wouldn't play me and I'm going to be the show for months because he I would always fucking torch him in this one game.
He genuinely was beating me and I was like trying hard.
He was up by three and he has me down bottom of the ninth two outs.
But I have the bases loaded.
Steven Drew on the Yankees from like 2016 who was by far the worst player on the team.
Like he batted under 200 had no power to speak of.
He had a fucking no doubt home run.
Pimped it to left field and Cameron was furious with me.
He couldn't believe it.
And I was fucking I was laughing.
I was like he fucking did it.
Steven fucking Drew.
My cousin's like I'm done.
Like what the fuck.
Like I like the one time I'm going to beat you this.
I was like ha ha.
So you're such a fucking dickhead.
So I was playing Grand Theft Auto 4 the other day and like you remember in Grand Theft Auto 4 when you when you died on a mission you had to start from the very beginning of the mission.
Yeah.
And that shit sucks.
Are you playing it on PC?
Yes.
I beat it.
I'm on five now.
That's what I've been playing.
OK.
Good.
Did you run into a bug at the end of four where you need to lower your frame rate otherwise you can't climb back into the helicopter.
Yeah.
It took me forever to figure out.
But I had to do that shit doing wrong and I was like fuck.
And then like I got to the mission snowstorm and I don't know if you've ever you remember the mission snowstorm but you have to go into an abandoned hospital and then escape the cops.
But all the cops are fucking five or four.
Four you have to go to the abandoned hospital and you have to take out all the thugs that are in the hospital.
Oh yeah.
And then the fucking police come in with the choppers.
Yeah.
And fucking you have like this is towards the beginning of the game so you don't have your weapon.
Your girlfriend Narts on you.
Yeah.
Michelle.
Yeah.
And then you have to fucking like do all this shit.
And I'm like bro I have like a fucking pistol and a fucking submachine gun.
I don't even have an assault rifle yet.
And I'm fucking getting marked by this shit and like by like the sixth fucking time I ripped my controller out of my fucking PC.
It whiffed it out the wall and fucking exploded because I was done.
Dude I remember when I played that on PS3 that part took me fucking forever.
And then I remember when I fucking played it on PC I just somehow got it the first try.
It was like whoa I thought I was going to fucking end my playthrough because a mission like that.
That's the type of thing that will make me not go back to the game.
Yeah. Because I was like I lost like fucking like 10 times in a row.
Yeah.
And like it like I got to the end of the mission every single time and would get either arrested by the cops somehow because they'd pinned me with like six rhinos.
And they'd come out and fucking do that.
Or I get marked by like one of the cops when I was going to the car because I'm like fuck.
So I'd like run out to the car and a sniper would just dome me.
Yeah.
One shot like I had full health full health everything run out to the car domed dead.
Did you play the DLC stuff for.
I did I wanted to play five.
I want to play as Trevor.
What's that you did not.
No I want to play I want to play as Trevor.
So I really want to play five.
So you know the guy that fucking Trevor kills when you get introduced to him.
Yeah.
That's the dude you play as and great for the Austin day.
Oh shit.
Yeah so little spoiler alert there.
He just gets fucking merged.
Yeah.
And he's like a very lovable character.
And he's fucking domes.
Because when five came out everybody was like how the fuck could they do Johnny that way.
And he just fucking killed the shit.
Yeah.
And then Trevor just stomped on him and Trevor was fucking because everybody fucking loved Johnny because he was like this soft like he was this gruff and tough biker.
But like he had a soft spot and he was a very good hero.
No no.
Some people in his fucking crew were.
But I didn't know that was more the other.
That's more the other fucking bikers.
But no it's just hysterical because it's like oh yeah by the way his girlfriend that he fought to clean up is now back on fucking Trevor's the drug dealer.
And then you got fucking Johnny begging Trevor not to fuck his girlfriend and he murders him.
Dude Trevor is great.
Trevor's my favorite character in that game by fucking.
Like oh you want to fucking talk to him.
He's right there.
He's right here on my fucking boot.
What's that Johnny.
I can't fucking hear you.
He's like a fucking psychopath just like you.
I love Trevor.
I love the I love on the drive back when he's talking to Wade.
He's like we'll call her Trisha.
Then towards the end he just starts saying Trevor Michaels.
Yeah.
He's like wait who's Trevor.
Where'd Trisha go.
I mean Trisha.
And then he married that fake troll and got her new troll tits.
But he has troll tits himself now.
He fucking meets Michael's wife.
Nice new pair of tits by the way.
Fucking Casey keeps telling me that I'm like Trevor and I'm not.
You are in some ways.
Your rants can be Trevor like.
Did you know the guy who plays Trevor hates being Trevor.
Yeah.
Like hates it.
No like he like goes out of his way when people get like cameos from him to say fuck you.
But you know what.
That's the best thing because that's totally in character for what Trevor would do.
Yeah.
Michael Michael and Franklin both love the fact that that's their role too.
They're constantly doing interviews and shit.
And fucking Steve Aug is the fucking actor's name and he's like I'm not fucking Trevor.
I'm not a cartoon character.
OK.
I don't know about this goddamn cartoon character and these gamers.
I just don't like it.
And I'm like that is the most Trevor thing I was on the walking dead.
And I love them in better call Saul and Mike just fucking puts his ass down and steals his gun.
Oh that was so funny like he was in the parking garage.
He's like hey old guy.
And he literally just Trevor in fucking better.
You need you need a gun.
I'll just take yours then.
How do you think you're going to do that old man.
Mike just goes.
I got your gun bitch.
Come on.
I actually never watched Better Call Saul or Breaking Bad.
What the fuck dude you're doing yourself a disservice.
I got a lot.
I know I got to watch it.
Everybody says they're good.
But I want to watch Better Call Saul because Better Call Saul seems like a better show.
Not really.
No I'd say I'd argue Breaking Bad is better.
But Saul I just like as a character.
He's a fun guy.
You you see a lot of Saul in Breaking Bad and the Saul that's in Breaking Bad is very different from the one that's in Better Call Saul.
Really.
Yeah.
Slippin Jimmy.
Yeah you have Slippin Jimmy in Better Call Saul and you see like him as a more complex character in Breaking Bad.
He's just kind of like this lunatic lawyer.
But it's no Breaking Bad.
But it's such a time commitment.
That's like the thing.
Like I'm like dude it's a lot of fucking episodes.
Although I watch fucking Supernatural which is 15 seasons with fucking 24 episodes in each season.
Dude I've rewatched Breaking Bad in as little as like a month.
How fucking how many episodes is it like 100 something.
I don't know.
It's like six seasons probably 10 episodes of pop.
Are they an hour?
About an hour yeah.
I watched like the first couple episodes and I just I didn't get into it.
You got to it's it's you don't need to like make it to the end of the first season.
Like you're going to see where the show's going before the end of the first episode.
I'm just like it's just the fucking nerd fucking scientist guy.
And then he's working in a car wash and has cancer.
And I'm like and then he turns into a fucking gruff to the fucking.
It's deeper than that though.
It's a lot deeper than that.
The first the pilot is not like what the rest of the show is.
With by like episode four.
Nevermind I'm not even going to say that.
Just watch the show.
You'll like it.
You will like it I promise.
Like I the thing is like I also got like the entire show spoiled for me because I fucking like see like the fucking memes and shit.
And like it pretty much gave away the whole fucking show like you fucking dies and shit.
And fucking what's his name fucking Los Palos Hermano.
Los Palos Hermano's fucking man gets fucking blown up and shit.
Yeah you definitely got spoiled for you'd still enjoy the show though.
Yeah.
But.
And Jesse's just all sad at the end and shit.
Well Jesse has a spin off movie.
After the show ends like El Camino or some shit.
Yeah and El Camino is very very good too.
I just I just never never watched it.
I was never super into it you know.
Better Call Saul has some fucking crazy I will say that Better Call Saul probably is some of the best plot twists in a show I've seen.
I didn't really get Better Call Saul fucking spoiled for me.
That's why I'm kind of like more like inclined in watching that because like I know about Slippin' Jimmy and that's pretty much it.
A lot of like a lot of like the big parts of Better Call Saul though would be better.
If you knew what happened in Breaking Bad but like to a deeper extent than just knowing spoilers like the whole thing with his drug lab and all that.
Great shows.
Let me just put it there.
Why do I keep eating this fucking ramen.
Like I really I really like Supernatural.
Supernatural became one of my favorite shows.
Like first couple seasons were better than the rest of the series though.
Like seasons like one through five were fucking phenomenal.
I loved Lost.
Lost was a fucking weird show man.
I loved Lost.
Fucking doctor guy was fucking you know my dad's dead.
He told me that I didn't have what it takes.
Oh Jack.
Yeah.
Jack I love fucking John Locke from that show.
Is that the drug guy.
No that was the Australian who was fucking.
No not the Australian.
That was fucking the dude who's.
He was wheelchair bound.
Oh that guy.
And then he landed on the island and he could walk again.
But he was like super deep into like philosophy and he was the big button pusher guy for a while.
And then they had to fucking like go down the hole and shit and like the fucking shit and then they all.
Did you watch it through though.
I think I watched it once.
It was like I liked it.
It was like but like.
Dude it gets it gets better the deeper you go into it.
It's then like season three comes around and like you deal with the others and you see like the past of the island and then there's like doing fucking time jumps in season five.
It gets kind of hard to follow.
But like if you understand what's going on it's fucking phenomenal.
I like the fucking like the endings and shit was fucking weird.
Well so everybody thought the ending meant that everybody died and none of it happened like everybody died in the plane crash when that's not what happened.
Everything did happen.
It was just that when they died in their real life it was as if they all got to this church at the same time to enter the afterlife together.
So everybody felt like it was this big fucking cliffhanger like oh none of it happened.
It was all a dream and that's not what happened at all.
I had that spoiled for me and lost when I was like in season three somebody said that everybody died and it literally depressed me with how much I loved the show because I was like that's such a cop out of an ending.
And like the fucking like fat dude who got like the fucking lottery.
Hurley yeah but he used the fucking curse numbers so.
Which the fucking the curse numbers fucking confused me too.
Well Hurley ended up being the protector of the island.
He stayed there for oh my god and the last couple episodes it's just like they just hit you in the feels so hard I can't even describe it.
So you just you know if there's one thing that lost was so good at it.
So was the island actually real because I never really got that.
So the island was a real island.
The island was a real island.
It just could only be accessed through this very specific set of circumstances.
Not set of circumstances you had to take these like precise coordinates to get to it and yes there was circumstances too actually.
So what was the fucking beast thing the fucking fog because I never got that either.
Oh fuck what was the fog oh the fog was like so that goes back to like I think that's like season six that you learned that.
If I can remember correctly it's this dude that got like sacrificed like a shit long time before the Dharma initiative and all that came in.
Like it was like almost ancient times and they had like this big fucking statue.
And he got sacrificed and just turned into this fucking horrible thing.
But no and then like the island has like a soul.
It was weird it gets trippy but like everything that everything was explained so well.
Like nothing was really a cop out.
And the dudes and like the fucking the wheelchair guy was like fucking I'll give you this heroin if you ask me three times.
Yeah Charlie.
Dude Charlie's death was one of the worst most heart wrenching moments.
So if they died on the island do they actually get to the afterlife.
Yeah they do.
So like if I got killed on the island and you got off the island which some people did and you lived a full life afterwards and then died.
It would have been like we died at the same time and entered the church together.
That's how the ending works.
But I think everybody just thought it was like they just for some reason perceived it as nothing on the island happened and they all died in a plane crash or something.
And that's just not what happened.
But it was such a weird fucking show.
It was but it was so fucking good.
I think it kind of got off the rails.
I love it because like Jack leaves the island and gets off and he has a son with that chick and then the shit like just doesn't work out.
And then they go back to the island.
It's cool because it's like a realistic story.
It's like the main chick and the lead dude just didn't fucking work at all.
And then they wrote What's Her Face and the fucking blonde bitch.
Yeah.
When they reset time when they fucking transported themselves to LAX with the fucking bomb.
It's such a fucking God Casey.
Have you ever seen Lost?
No.
I started watching it.
He's lost.
Dude lost.
Lost is a good fucking show.
No I only watched like the first episode.
That's horrible.
I think I've gone back trying to rewatch it and I always make it to like the end of season one and then I get distracted and watch something else.
But then by the time I want to go back to it again I have to restart.
Did you watch Devilman yet?
No.
I saw that you.
I sent you that.
You sent me that.
I still need to watch it.
Fucking like.
Casey I'm fiending.
Wacky show.
You're fiending?
Like fiend fiend?
Alright let's take a break.
No.
We're not taking a break buddy.
No we don't need a break.
We're not taking a break.
Oh I thought you meant.
We've taken like four breaks.
Fuck breaks bro.
I meant niggas.
I don't like breaks man.
It fucking breaks my flow.
Go back to Untold Podcast.
So much for a silent night motherfucker.
We're coming in to Untitled Podcast.
Christmas special motherfucker.
There's no silent night up in here brother.
There's only loud and obnoxious.
Welcome back to Untitled Podcast Christmas special.
It's your grandpa Joe and let me tell you something folks.
A lot of fighting in this world these days.
We've got the Hispanics and Muslims.
The what?
The Jewish, American, Christian, what be it?
Muslim, Hindu, gay or straight, bisexual or otherwise.
We all just want to love each other.
Don't we folks?
Isn't that what the world should be about?
We've got Palestinians and Iranians, Iraqis and Israelis
bombing the shit out of each other every day.
Blowing up suicide vests.
Let me tell you.
Casey, this is a good monologue.
Let me tell you.
We got Hanukkah.
We got Kwanzaa.
Whether you celebrate Christmas or that other Muslim one.
We wish you the merriest of Christmas.
So as something to bring us all together.
Let's talk about everybody's favorite unhanged president, Donald Trump.
So did you guys hear about Donald Trump and his windmills?
I heard about how Donald Trump was banned from the ballot in Colorado.
That is fucking unconstitutional.
That'll get shot down.
Well, actually, it will go to the Supreme Court.
It'll get shot down.
But I want to talk about something more lighthearted than that.
Donald Trump does not like windmills.
Why not?
It's one of the funniest fucking things ever.
He just goes, no windmills.
You know, windmills.
Yes, the big, big, big, big fans that we have out in the news.
You ever see a windmill?
They're ugly.
They're disgusting.
They look bad.
They sound bad.
But you know, the worst thing is that they murder all the birds.
You know, the birds, they fly into the windmills.
You ever see, you ever go by a windmill?
It's a bird graveyard.
You love birds, you'll cry.
He literally said that.
What the fuck?
There's no way.
I got to fact check you on this.
Look it up.
Look up Donald Trump in windmills, Casey.
Look up Donald Trump in windmills.
It'll be like the fucking first things to come up.
Jamie, look that up for me real quick.
All right.
There she is.
I never understood wind.
Wind is cause-cancellation?
No, I'll say wind.
Wind.
If you have a windmill anywhere near your house, congratulations.
Your house just went down 75% in value.
And they say the noise causes cancer.
You tell me that one.
You know, the thing makes it so.
And of course, it's like a graveyard for birds.
What?
You love birds, you never want to walk under a windmill.
What?
Windmills.
You know, the windmills.
Bing, that's the end of that windmill.
There's a lot of hoopla about windmills.
They're horrible looking structures.
They make noise.
They kill birds by the thousands.
They're really destructive.
And by the way, many countries have decided they don't want wind
because it doesn't work without massive subsidies.
It kills massive amounts of birds and wildlife.
And there are lots of other reasons.
So it's a very inefficient form of energy.
It's an energy that when you need it most, you don't get it
because the wind is in blowing when you need it most.
And from the standpoint of Scotland,
I think almost most importantly,
other than the fact that the subsidies are enormous,
almost most importantly, they are so unattractive,
so ugly, so noisy and so dangerous that if Scotland does this,
I think Scotland will be in serious trouble.
I don't like it from many standpoints, especially the fact,
in my case, that it ruins the countryside.
If they put these monstrosities in Aberdeen Bay,
the countryside will no longer be beautiful.
We're not going to build a second course
if the windmills are hovering over it.
If you're in sight of a windmill...
Tyler, I know you're not about to smoke a cigarette.
The value of the house will go down by 65%.
If you have a windmill anywhere near your house,
congratulations, your house just went down 75%.
I'd forget the fucking cut-off.
Very, very negative for the environment.
It's killing the birds.
All of these wind farms, they're really destroying Scotland.
They kill so many birds, you look underneath some of those windmills.
What's been going on about these fucking windmills?
What a weird thing to be concerned about.
Yeah, windmills, dude.
If you love birds, you'd never want to walk under a windmill
because it's a very sad, sad sight.
It's like a cemetery. We put a little...
No, they're not, though. Like, what?
He makes it so like, for these fucking flying high-speed death traps,
a bird can see the fucking propeller.
Yeah.
We would have been powered by wind,
which wouldn't have worked, by the way, because it only blows sometimes,
and lots of problems come about.
The windmills are wonderful, but, you know, when the wind doesn't blow,
they really do cause problems.
We have no energy this week.
Well, hopefully the wind will start blowing pretty soon.
Darling? Darling, is the wind blowing today?
I'd like to watch television, darling.
Well, it is true that some birds die every year
by flying into turbine towers or blades.
There's no wind.
The actual numbers are negligible.
Negligible to who? I'll try the birds.
Statistics show that in the United States,
wind energy facilities cause less than one in every 4,000 documented bird deaths
from industrial activities.
I know a lot about wind.
So he's just blowing up the numbers, obviously.
Yeah, but it's such a weird thing to dislike, though.
Like...
I mean, I don't...
What's his problem with fucking windows? I don't understand it.
It's really funny.
It's a bird cemetery. It's gross. Disgusting.
Like, it's a renewable...
form of energy. I just don't see why it is.
Windows don't work all the time, though.
I know they don't, but they still...
Cause the wind doesn't always blow.
Yeah, but they still do a shitload when the wind does blow.
It's not windy enough for that shit, bro.
Well, it depends on where you fucking set the things up.
Coal power is the way to go.
Coal power is fucking dirty.
Coal power is not dirty. We have scrubbers, we have clean coal.
Bro, we need Wi-Fi tires.
We have clean coal, baby.
Wi-Fi tires, bro.
You are fucking out of your mind if you think that fucking electric cars...
What the fuck are Wi-Fi tires?
We were talking about last episode.
I fell off the toilet and hit my head and struck the flux capacitor last episode.
Yeah, he said that he wanted to make Wi-Fi tires.
I was saying that cars are not going to need motors anymore.
They're going to work on Wi-Fi.
And the wheels are just going to rotate by Wi-Fi powered tires.
That's what he was saying.
What the fuck?
He's out of his fucking mind.
And Dan looked it up and was like, oh, he's right.
Like, the Wi-Fi can actually power stuff.
Shut the fuck up, Dan.
He did.
No, he didn't. He said that Wi-Fi can power LEDs.
He didn't say that Wi-Fi...
Yeah, but 200 years in the future...
No, Wi-Fi aren't going to power fucking tires.
You don't need to power a tire.
You're insane, Dan.
You're out of your mind.
Because instead of a motor, right?
You're going to use Wi-Fi router?
Motors are bulky and expensive.
Wi-Fi tires, bro.
You're out of your fucking mind.
That's not how it works.
You're out of your mind.
The tires aren't what makes the fucking power, Casey.
The engine powers the tires.
Casey, you're out of your fucking mind.
You're out of your mind.
Well, I mean, by 2246, mark my words.
You're not going to have Wi-Fi.
By 2246.
By 2246, I believe this entire world is going to look like a graveyard
because we are going to have killed every last one of us.
That's not true.
Oh, probably.
Yep, and the world will be taken back over by then.
I'm not over Wi-Fi tires.
But then we'll start over again.
Oh, my fucking God.
My goodness gracious, he made it.
It's a Christmas miracle.
Yo, Christmas cookies.
And he brings fucking cookies with him.
What the fuck?
Yo.
Oh, my God.
Let me in there.
Dan, you're a fucking saint.
Dan.
Dan is Saint Nick.
Holy shit.
Saint Dan.
Saint Daniel.
Oh, man.
I was getting ready to pass out.
Ladies and gentlemen, fucking Dan, the vitamin man.
The Christmas miracle.
I'm back.
Just like I said, I'd be back.
Let me see that buzzer.
You got your own one.
Yeah.
What the?
Have you brought us Christmas snow?
So we can't wait until the number disappears.
What is this, cookies?
Cookies.
Oh, my God.
My blood sugar is so low.
Cookies from the bish.
So yeah, you press yours.
It's going to come up with a three.
I love it.
It's a Christmas miracle.
This is delicious.
So now we all know who's answering the question.
OK, so let's send them at the same time.
Oh, it locks me out.
Until it goes off.
Who's one, though?
Me.
I'm actually three.
One, two, three.
What?
One, two, three.
That's kind of confusing for me.
Why?
Huh.
What is this, battery operated?
Interesting.
This thing's probably almost dead from us.
Dude, these are good.
Yeah, tell me which ones are your favorite.
I like those Hershey's kisses.
I was going to say, this is kind of fucking smack right now.
You like it?
Oh, those are my least favorite.
Really?
Yeah.
Smacking.
The chocolate ones dipped in what is that, like white chocolate?
Peppermint.
Yeah.
Tastes like, or at least Snowball's got them nuts.
Oh, yeah.
They're macadamia nuts.
Macadamia nuts.
My favorite ones.
I like the.
Dan, you look so much better when you're not wearing your work outfits.
Oh, yeah, I know.
I hate, I wear the same pants to work every week because I don't have to go in once a
week, so I wear the same green pants.
Yeah, you look like.
You look like a guy that would chop down some trees.
I want to chop down some fucking trees.
I'm really like, I want to do some lumberjack shit.
That's what I want to be doing all day.
Instead, I'm sitting at a desk.
Like I just, dude, my dream is to just be, to have a little piece of land.
Yeah.
Just be self sustained and just chop and shit all day.
Like that's it.
And then just like catching my own food, growing my own food.
I don't, I don't need money like that.
I just need that.
You just want to be a Unabomber?
Kind of.
Yes.
Minus the whole killing people.
Just want to live a simple life.
Yeah, a simple life.
Right.
That's how men should live.
You know.
Dude, everybody should have their own.
Living in capitalist wasteland though.
Their own.
Yeah.
Dude, that's that shit that the shit I'm talking about is like frowned upon.
Yep.
Like they don't want people doing that because then they can't tax you.
These are good.
They want to tax you fucking.
I love the sugar cookies.
Sugar cookies are like my favorite.
And then like this one right here.
That.
These things are going to go down hard.
Yeah, they should.
Dude, I've been packing on weight because of these fucking cookies.
Crazy.
So Dan, I talked about our escapades at the, at night moves.
Oh no.
It was so bad.
Like the fucking stripper just left off the stage.
She didn't get a dollar.
Dude, that was a rough experience.
Is this allowed to be on?
Yeah, this is fine.
Yeah.
This stripper that was giving me a lap dance.
A private dance.
Would not stop talking the entire time.
The entire time.
To the point that I was like so distracted.
I'm just like, wow, I have like almost can't wait for this to end.
Like it was like that bad.
She was like, what's your birthday?
And I was like March 26.
She's like, oh my God, me too.
And I'm like, yeah, okay.
She says that to everybody.
And she's like, no, no.
She's like, she's like, I'm serious.
It's my birthday.
She's like, and she started naming off people that were born on March 26.
She's like Robert Frost.
Who else was it?
I don't know.
Sorry.
She already knew that because they saw your ID when you came in, right?
They didn't check it.
But that would be ingenious, dude.
That would be.
But I don't think a stripper is smart enough to remember everybody's birthdays and like
people that were born on that day.
But yeah, I remember I called you and you checked it and like he really was born on
March 26.
So she wasn't lying.
Yeah.
She wasn't lying.
She just wasn't good at her job.
Yeah, she was.
Oh, she was definitely, she was, she was good at like dancing on the stage, but like her
private dance sucked.
And there was no one there that was good looking.
She was actually way, she was not good at being a stripper.
You just got to write reviews.
Oh dude, I could be like a connoisseur.
A new stripper review with, with the band.
Yeah.
Dude, but like everyone else, I remember fucking when you were back there, I had two, three
of them come up to me because nobody was doing shit.
And they're like, Hey, we could do three dances for the price of one with all three of us.
And I go, I'd just rather not.
Wow.
Three of them, dude, remember they were making three of them.
Oh, that's like too much.
I'm like, Oh, this one's feeding you grapes.
Another one's got like the little leaf.
Yeah.
Awesome.
I was just like, what the fuck?
Sitting over there like fucking scarface.
Yeah.
And I remember the old guy who was just putting like a dollar on his fucking bottle.
And he's like, yeah, do something with that.
That was so weird.
I know.
I think he was trying to get her to pick it up with like her pussy lips or something.
Yeah.
Grab it with her ass cheeks.
Yeah.
So fucking weird.
Yeah.
And then he kept on being like, yeah, we don't do that.
Yeah.
So this guy was like right in the very front of the stage.
Right.
So if you're like sitting at the front, you're getting the best seat in the house.
So you got to throw them some cash.
Right.
So yeah, this guy kept putting like, he kept creasing a dollar long ways.
Right.
Yeah.
And then like setting it on top of the bottle and like telling her, he's like, you got to
get it though.
You got to get it.
And then she just go over and just go like this and take it.
I think he was trying to get her to like grab it with her ass or something.
And then they were just like, nah.
It's like, dude, like, I don't know.
That's like just a sad place to be when you're like, he was like 70.
It's like, dude, I mean, I appreciate like the fucking grind, you know, like always,
you know, loving women until you're in your old age.
But it's like, at some point you got to just give it up.
Like, don't you have grandkids?
Everybody there was like, dude, this is kind of weird.
Yeah.
Like there's an angry Asian guy who's just sitting there the whole time, just going like
this.
Yeah.
There's like, I may accidentally made eye contact multiple times with this other guy
that was sitting across the way.
The black dude?
Yeah.
I was like, this is weird.
Cause it's like, it's like, there's this like ass naked chick in between us.
And I keep catching like eye contact in between her legs.
It's just weird.
And he looked pissed the whole time.
Yeah.
Dude, everybody was angry.
It was like a bad time.
Everybody was just sitting there just like.
Just a toxic fucking sad environment.
All the strippers suck.
Cause there was like fucking like what?
Like eight, nine people there?
Yeah.
Yeah, probably.
And they were just sitting there.
It's like, yeah, I saw some guy go like this.
Like, what am I doing?
What am I doing?
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
And this one girl came up to me and it was the most, I was feeling kind of geeked out.
Cause I took a ton of vitamin B.
Right?
And so I was like, I was just like feeling like, you know.
You're fucking twitching, bro.
You know how sometimes you feel like just like, just weird in your own skin.
Like that's how I was feeling.
He's tweaking on something.
I was like.
Yeah.
He was shaking.
Like shit, you're not.
He was sitting there shaking.
Me?
Yeah.
Was I?
I probably was.
He was sitting there shaking.
I was like, I'm a little nervous.
So this one girl came up to me.
Yeah.
I mean, she was really hot, but the conversation was so fucking bad, dude.
It was like so like.
Not a bad SpongeBob.
It was so, oh, no, this girl was gorgeous.
But the conversation was like so rehearsed.
She's like, Oh my God, I think I've seen you here before.
Mike, I don't think you have.
No, you haven't.
Cause I'd remember you.
Right?
And I'm like, I've been here a couple of times.
And she's like, wow.
She's like something about you that just brought me over here.
I'm like, fuck off.
I'm like money.
Like what else?
And then she was like, so what brings you here?
I'm like, pussy naked girls.
What do you think brings me here?
So anyway.
I'm trying to find love.
The fucking strip club here.
And it actually got to the point where it was like what she was saying was so cringey
and I was like tweaking out.
Yeah.
I couldn't even hold it back.
I was just like, like while she was talking to me, I was like, Oh man, like I can't, like
what are you going to stop this?
This is so uncomfortable.
I just need you to walk away, dude.
And there's like that curvy girl that was like doing it.
She got like a couple of dollars thrown at her, but like there was like a couple of people
that didn't get a single dollar thrown out.
Oh yeah.
I'm trying to think of a curvy one.
The fucking one with like the, like the, like the fucking white one, her name is, I think
Pixie or some shit.
Pixie.
Yeah.
She doesn't sound like a best seller.
I'm trying to, what did he, what color hair?
Black, brown, like pale white.
Oh man.
I can't even, I don't even remember.
Dude, that whole, I literally like it.
That whole thing was a fucking blur, dude.
That was rough.
Wow.
My brain just deletes it as soon as I go home.
They're not, they're not real women.
You fucking deluge your browser history.
Yeah.
It's just like, it's like, Oh, can I have my brain?
That shit was fucking weird, dude.
I'm still, dude, I'm still dead set on that.
No, maybe I should, I'm just joking.
These are my like shower thoughts.
I was thinking, I said it before on the podcast though, there should be like this, like a
business, it'd be a cool business idea where you have people come and they try and do like
scenarios, right?
Like, like a bank robbery.
You do a bank robbery, robbery with your friends.
And it's like, there's like actors who are the bank tellers.
You get fake guns and shit just to get it out of your system.
You know what I mean?
Like kicked out the door and be like, get out of the fucking car.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Yeah.
See if you could like actually make it through like, and then there's like scenarios, like
you pay more money.
You can do the like, the running from the cops.
Yeah.
Like in a car.
You could make that a business.
Yeah.
If you had enough property.
What would you call it though?
It's like GTA in real life.
Yeah.
That would be bad ass.
Dude, that would be fucking good.
That's like some West world shit.
It's like, you want to go do a scenario where we like rob a bank and then, and then it's
like a taco bar, unlimited taco bar.
So you just eat and drink afterwards.
You know what I mean?
And talk about it.
Yeah.
And then it's like videotaped so you can like rewatch your like a video of like robbing
the bank.
It's like a security camera.
Dude, that would be fucking cool.
I'm stoked with that.
You can do a fucking like paintball guns too.
Like somebody like fucking like, it's like, I think he pulls out like a fake, like, like
a fucking other paintball gun and you just fucking gun him down and be like, anybody
else fucking gets up?
Anybody fucking bullet?
Yeah.
Or like even, even something that like gives off the sound of a gun.
Oh dude, a paintball gun inside sounds like an actual gun.
Right.
You don't want anybody to get hurt.
Yeah, dude.
But like a paintball gun, like you could use that and then the cops.
But you can take hostages and shit.
Yeah.
And like, yeah.
And like the cops could come in with paintball guns and like try to shoot you too.
Yeah.
Like here's like, get on the fucking ground.
You just fucking take a hot pack.
Don't fucking move.
Right.
Don't do it.
Right.
Oh dude.
It'd be so fun.
Like you'd just come up on the table, start like fucking kicking shit off.
Open the fucking vault.
Open it.
Don't fucking move.
It's like, and like you're just like, yo, get on the vault.
Get on the fucking vault.
I got this.
Anybody fucking moved, I'll blow you away.
Bro, you know that'd be so fucking fun.
That would be fucking fun.
As soon as they finish, they're like, wow, those guys were really angry.
Like way worse than most people.
That would be way more fun than strippers.
Dude, that would be so fucking fun, dude.
Oh yeah.
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, hi
Oh yeah.
the manager be like, which one's the fucking manager?
Which one's the fucking manager?
And you blow somebody away, you're like, next one, come on.
But it's gotta be like,
you can actually lose, right?
Yeah, you can get arrested.
Yeah, you can get arrested, you gotta get out,
you have a time limit.
Yes, dude.
Right, you gotta time limit, you gotta get out,
you gotta take out the security guard.
And then if you get an escape room.
It's like an escape room, but a big robbery.
Yeah, but the problem is you have people like Tyler
who would go too crazy with it
and give all the bank tellers PTSD.
Yeah.
Get on the fucking ground!
Yeah.
This isn't a fucking joke!
Start taking over fucking things,
be like, where's your fucking manager?
Right.
Give me the fucking manager!
You shoot one of them, be like, where is he?
And then you shoot one and everybody else freaks out.
They're like, bro, what the fuck?
What the fucking manager?
Like every bank robbery movie ever.
Like one person goes too far and kills somebody
and they're just like all freaked out
cause they didn't want anybody to die.
Yeah, and you get like high scores and shit,
like if you don't kill anybody,
you get like a certain score and shit.
Yeah, and then there's like the score of the week.
And then people would be coming back paying $50
to do the scenario each time to get the best score.
Dude, I would do it.
I'd pay a lot of money to do it.
I'd be doing it tonight if it was a thing.
I feel like that'd be like a $200 fucking experience though.
You could charge 200 for that, easy.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it'd be like a cool bachelor party though.
Yeah, yeah.
That, and then you have like a car set up, right?
So it moves you on, you pass that,
and then you go to the next part
where you have like an actual thing
where you're like running from somebody who's chasing you.
Yeah.
And it's like slow speed so nobody gets hurt.
Yeah.
It's like tops you can do is like 45.
And then you can bang the cars up, right?
You can do like a VR car too.
Yeah, but it wouldn't be as cool
as if you have like a little bit of land
and you actually like-
You can do like an old airstrip.
Or like a big parking lot
and you have like storage containers
that you're like driving in between.
Yeah, and there's like an actual cop car
that's like trying to like fucking-
But you had to like put like a fucking helmet on
and shit and stuff.
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You would have to.
Roll cage and shit.
Yeah.
Five point harnesses and shit.
Yeah, but I mean if it's slow, it's like-
But still, like for insurance reasons,
you have to have that.
Fuck the helmets, fuck the five point harnesses.
You just take the car-
Floor it.
Or you could just do it in real life
and just make it real.
And just have everybody sign a disclaimer.
And then you get the prison lover experience.
Yeah.
Dude, but if you like,
one of your boys gets arrested and shit,
like you could have him like go to like the fake jail.
Oh yeah.
Like the cops try to grill you
for like other people's information and shit.
Yeah.
That could be like a separate like fucking thing.
Be like, I don't know these people.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Dude, there's like so much,
there's so much you could do with that.
Like the cop would be like,
no, I know you know these guys.
I'm like, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You guys ever seen Westworld?
Yeah.
So there's-
You're essentially describing Westworld
at this point. Really?
Yeah.
What is Westworld?
It's like you pay for this experience,
except the people that are in the simulation
are like androids.
But like you go in, you choose your outfit,
and you enter like this wild West area.
Like all the people have quests you can do.
Dude, that sounds awesome.
And stuff. Yeah.
And it's like all the like the 1% does it.
And then the show goes off the rails
and the robots like take over. What is this on Netflix?
HBO.
Oh, I'm gonna watch that.
Yeah.
It is.
The first season is phenomenal.
Get a nice shoot for a fucking bank robbery.
You know, like a tuxedo.
I do like fucking a combat gear.
Like I do like the fucking like blacked out,
like fucking like a black rock shit or black water shit.
Oh dude, if you had like a whole room
where people could pick their outfits off.
Yeah. That's what they do in the show.
That'd be so badass.
So fucking cool.
And then you pick out your gun and everything
before you go in.
And where I was going with this is really fucked up.
I'm just joking.
But you have one scenario where you get to bury a hooker.
It's like, it's a mannequin, right?
Just to get that experience.
And you gotta do a really good job, right?
So they come in the detectives
and they can't find like where you bury them.
You're watching on like the fucking police,
like body cameras and shit.
Dude, this shit would get shut down by the government.
The governor of New York.
I swear to God, if you had a business doing this shit,
the governor of New York would step in
and shut it the fuck down.
They'd be like, what the fuck are you guys doing?
Because it was just like.
How do you bury a hooker, Dan?
It would just like promote like.
Violence. Violence.
Yeah, it kinda does.
I don't think it would do that.
I think it would be like.
A good outlet.
You could, you could, you could, you could.
I agree. You could swing it.
Fucking Hochold would not see it that way.
No, but you could swing it that way.
You could swing it that way and be like,
hey, listen, these guys are doing it here
in a controlled environment where nobody's getting hurt
and they're doing it here so they won't do it anywhere else.
Yeah, you see, that makes sense though.
Yeah.
The government will not see it that way.
It'll be the same thing as how GTA
promotes violence. They're doing it in a controlled
environment.
You see me as your spokesperson,
cause I just go up there and be like, yes, any questions?
They'll be like, Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee.
I'd be like, yes.
I'd be like, hey, man, what the face?
You know how easier it'd be to find an old fucking bank?
Oh yeah.
There's probably at least fucking 20 of them
in the capital region.
Oh yeah.
You know?
Dude, that'd be so fucking fun.
Yeah.
You have to do it in like a fucking city though.
Dude, if you did it in a fucking city,
there'd be so many people like tourists.
If you did it in fucking New York city,
dude, you'd like, you could be like, yo,
I want to be like, Grant, that's auto four type shit.
Yeah.
And you can be like franchises in different cities.
Oh man, you come up with like 10 good scenarios,
you know, some good food, place to eat.
That'd be so fucking fun.
Dude, that'd be dope.
Yeah.
I would do it myself every day for fun.
Yeah.
Run through the scenario, try and get the best time.
Like get like ex-cops who are like, you know,
like retired and shit.
You could have them be like the actual like cops
that come and do shit.
Right, right.
So they actually know like the fucking like shit.
Is there a scenario where you work on an ambulance
every day for six years?
No, that's just a fucking nightmare.
That's just a fucking nightmare.
I don't think anybody would pay to do that.
You can see on the ambulance, bro.
That could be one of the fucking scenarios.
Like you bring an ambulance in that you stole.
It's like that movie.
Ambulance.
No.
Old 37.
No, what's the one where it's in Boston
and they dress as the EMTs and they break into Fenway.
The town.
The town, yeah.
Yeah, but you could do something like that too.
And like get out and like an ambulance
and then they would think that,
oh, the ambulance is going out.
Like cool, like fucking shit.
Yeah, because like every guy really deep down
wants to be part of a heist.
I think Bill Burr said that back in the day
in one of his skits, but it's so true.
But it's like, you could plan it out
and like the wall and shit.
Oh, like what you're going to do?
Yeah.
Yeah, there's like a whiteboard.
Like there's a whiteboard that you can like plan it out with
and be like, okay, I need you as my gunner.
I need you as my driver.
I need you like doing like this shit.
And like, you can be like, okay,
this guy's the most aggressive.
So he's going to be like the guy at the front,
like keeping everybody down.
Yeah.
And you gotta have like a guy who's like the smartest
to like break the fucking vault, fucking shit.
You do like fake explosives too,
to blow like a fucking like door off.
Dude, that would give me, all right.
So say, say you set something.
You would jizz your pants, Dan.
Dude, yes, out of nervousness.
So say you set something like that up, right?
And like, you have people that are like acting as cops
that roll up on the bank, right?
While you're robbing, like say,
say you spent too long there,
the cops come after 10 minutes, right?
You gotta be in and out of the vault in 10 minutes, right?
No, you gotta fake, like,
you can set different difficulties.
Yeah, yeah.
And you can do like, oh, this is a fucking podunk town.
So the police presence is fucking not like there.
You can do like inner city,
like fucking top level fucking shit.
Cops are there in three minutes.
Cops are there in two minutes, fucking easy.
And like, you do like a thing
where you do like a fake phone call
and see how long it takes the cops to get there,
type thing.
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, I would like, I would literally like,
if you see like a cop car roll up,
while you're like pretending to be a bank robber,
I would like, even though I would know it was fake,
I'd probably shit myself.
It's just that feeling.
He'd be like, fuck!
Yeah.
And like, you have like the guy up front just being like,
fuck, the pigs are here!
Yeah.
Dude, that's so fucking scary.
Like even though it'd be fake,
like see somebody roll up in a cop car,
just coming to kick your ass.
And they like handcuff you and shit.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I'd just be like,
I'd just be sitting there like up front
and being like, hurry up on the fucking phone!
The pigs are here!
It's cool, we should make those happen.
Yeah, we should.
That'd be sick.
That'd be dope.
Yeah.
Dude, that could be a fucking loop.
It'd be better than fucking ax throwing.
Oh yeah, dude.
Let's go throw some axes.
It's like, no, let's rob a fucking bank, bitch.
Yeah, ax throwing is not that fun.
No, it's not.
I can't believe that there's like professional leagues for it.
Like it's fun, I did it for my birthday.
It was like, oh, it's fun.
Just imagine robbing a fake bank for your birthday instead.
Bachelor parties, robbing a fucking bank instead.
Dude, that's gonna be fucking sick.
Dude, that has to, people would go crazy with it.
Like people would start like punching people in the face.
Like actually for real.
I don't think they would, dude.
Because it's like, you just give a briefing ahead of time
and like have them sign a waiver.
Like if you touch anybody,
if there's any sexual harassment.
But there's people like Tyler out there.
I would fucking,
I would shoot fucking civilians with my fucking paint gun.
Okay, you can't touch anybody.
You can shoot them, but you can't touch them.
Yeah, you can't touch them.
You guys are nerfing the fantasy that I had in my mind.
What, you wanna go in and gun butt somebody?
No, I don't wanna gun butt,
but you just pretend we don't have to nerf it.
It'll just be fun.
You just own a compound and it's all fine and dandy.
Sign the waivers ahead of time.
Yeah, you wouldn't be able to waive everything.
Oh, you mean like putting your hands on people and stuff?
Yeah, I don't think you'd be able to waive that.
You could fucking get fucking a paramedic lawyer here
and he could tell us the fucking legal ramifications of it.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you could sign a waiver
as long as both parties sign it.
Like the people that are working there
and the other people.
I mean, they're getting fucking paid, dude.
But you don't want just some random person
putting you in a fucking chokehold from behind
and putting a fake gun to your head.
That's true.
Either sweaty fucking arm with their fucking arm hair
and your fucking face.
Nobody wants that.
So no touching, no touching.
No touchy.
Yeah.
But like.
I mean, it would make you a lot more scared.
We should get a sign that says no touching.
No touchy touchy.
Say inside no weed.
But I mean, you could do like laser tag.
You know, like, so you know, like say the cops like come in
and you get them first, like you're good.
Like you killed the cop.
I like the paintball idea
because you could do red paintball
so then you could like get the image type thing.
Right, but then people can actually get hit
in the face and shit.
You wear a fucking mask, dude.
You know, like that's part of like the thing.
Like you have to wear like a mask
like because you're a fucking bank robber.
But everybody inside is like wearing
like the fucking like mask and shit.
Yeah, I feel like it'd be tough.
They gotta make some training scenario guns that like.
That are.
That are doing exactly what we're talking about.
Like feels like a real gun.
Yeah.
Acts like a real gun.
Yeah, they shoot fucking.
Sounds like a real gun.
They have those, they shoot chalk bullets.
Really?
They fucking hurt though.
Because dude, even like, like you can't use blanks
because those are technically real.
You can.
Blanks go in a real gun.
Paintballs is probably the best you would get with that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean.
Because with a paintball, with a paintball,
technically you don't have to wear a mask.
You just have to wear eye protection.
Oh yeah.
I mean, I feel like people would lose an eye
doing that though.
Now.
It'll only be a matter of time.
And plus who wants to get hit with a paintball?
Like somebody in the scenario.
Dude, if you pay him enough, I'd be a fucking civilian.
Damn, I don't want to get hit with it.
I don't want to get pelted in the face
with a fucking paintball.
Most of the time, fucking people wouldn't be shooting
the civilians, they'd be shooting the cops
that are coming in.
What are those, what are those other ones?
There's those smaller ones.
They're not paintballs.
They're like gel.
Airsoft?
Not airsoft.
They're like, they're like gel.
Are we going on too long about this?
No, no, I was asking for this.
Yeah.
You don't have to look into that.
We'll see.
I'll start looking for some old banks.
You gotta have one where you get abducted by aliens.
You gotta fight your way out.
I mean, dude, they have that shit in tourist cities,
like the escape rooms.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
They have those fucking cross gates, bro.
Oh, do they?
Yeah.
Oh, no shit.
They have an escape room there.
It's not like what we're talking about.
No, yeah, it's nothing like that.
Yeah, I've seen it.
I've been in escape rooms before.
Or you can do like a fucking like Pharaoh's tomb
where you do like a space escape type thing,
but they don't have anything where you rob a fucking bank.
All men's fucking wet dreams.
That or fucking being on D-Day?
What's that?
Being on D-Day.
That's a male fantasy.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that too.
Escape rooms are fun though.
I met up with my buddy from Norway.
Why would you wanna go to D-Day?
Dude, everyone wants to be a fucking guy
who charged the fucking beaches at D-Day.
Like 70% of the people got shot in the face.
Ugh.
I don't know if, that's something I'm comfortable playing
like in a video game.
I don't think I wanna actually truly experience that.
Dude, it makes me sick thinking about it.
It's like, dude, the chances of you making it through
are like zilch.
Just the beginning of which Call of Duty was that?
That was. Call of Duty 3,
Call of Duty World War II,
Call of Duty fucking 2. World War II, yeah.
Call of Duty fucking.
I think it was Call of Duty 3.
I think COD 3 was the first one that did it.
Yeah, COD 2 was.
On 360.
COD 2 was, but it wasn't the first mission.
It was like the fourth or fifth mission.
Whichever one, it's like the very first mission.
The newer one that came out was World War II.
Yeah, exactly. But it was like that.
That was pretty cool too
because you fucking hop off the boat
and your friend gets fucking blown away
by a fucking sniper round
before you even get off the fucking boat.
Yeah, because you're not,
when they were getting off those ships,
they had clear lines of sight on everybody.
You just had to hope that they were
lighting other people up
because they could hit you.
There was no cover on that beach.
There were some, I think.
They had the fucking cross things.
Those tank stopper things.
Yeah, they were the anti-tank things.
The only cover there was
was the mortars that were created by both sides
when we showed up there though.
So you're just hiding in those.
And even then, they're shooting down on you
so they can still probably see you.
I would want to be like the third wave.
It was a beeline and you hope you,
it's like you're a fucking sperm.
You're just hoping you make it.
That's exactly what it is.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, I wish I was like the third line.
It's dumb luck.
That went in.
So they got the fucking,
most of their bullets ran out.
So I like the third line, you're like.
That was, Normandy is in France, right?
Yeah.
The Clish of Normandy, yeah.
It's like the edge of France.
And that was the Nazis, right?
The Nazis helped it, yeah.
Damn.
And the US, the English, and the Canadians.
There was a lot of island hopping
that went very similar to Normandy though,
in World War II on the Pacific front.
It was only.
Like Uwo Jima.
It was only fucking US soldiers for that too.
It was only.
Yeah, it was US versus Japanese straight up.
Yeah.
Damn.
That was more towards the end, but.
Uwo Jima was a fucking meat grinder.
Yeah, that was a fucking.
That was like the one of the last islands they had,
and they just got so fucking dug in
to like this three mile long island,
and it took way more of us than it should have
to fucking know what they were doing.
Same thing with Midway.
Midway was a fucking meat grinder too.
Yeah.
Dude, that's crazy.
Like I was looking at the map on,
sorry, I don't mean to cut you off.
The two fucking Japanese.
Remind me of Midway to come back to that.
The Japanese were way more brutal
than people fucking remember.
Yeah.
The Japanese were fucked, dude.
Like everybody's like, the Nazis were like,
they'd say, you guys gotta research
what the fucking Japanese did.
They fucking, like when they captured American prisoners,
they had crucified them on makeshift crosses and shit.
Well, as soon as the war was over,
they kind of like detested even what they did.
Like they admitted they kind of fucked up.
Some of them were fucking Germans,
but we still fucking hold them accountable.
Because a lot of the people in Japan
were scared of the government,
so they kind of did this stuff.
But they did fucked up shit to,
pretty much just Americans.
Nazis weren't that bad.
Okay.
All right.
Speaking of Nazis, I talked about this.
I'm just, for the record, that's a joke.
We're good.
Speaking of the Germans,
this was a Nazi propaganda piece, Santa.
Really?
Yep, I talked about it earlier when you weren't here.
Huh, I'll have to listen.
You'll have to listen to that, but yeah, it's good.
Damn.
But yeah, like the Germans were fucked,
but the Japanese were also just as fucked,
but we didn't fucking hammer them
as much as the fucking Germans,
because the Germans had death factories.
The Japanese really didn't.
Well.
But they did fucked up shit.
There's more in the way that they fought.
Yeah.
Like they cut dicks off of people
and put them in boxes and send them to American troops.
Yeah, you don't want to be a fucking Japanese POW.
Well, an American POW.
For Japan.
For Japan, that's a tough deal you got there.
Yeah, that's like, Elon Musk was talking about that,
and he was talking about how people bash America, right,
for all their like, invading other, yeah.
But he's like, the Americans are actually really good,
compared to other countries.
We're pretty chill.
He was saying like, if you were a Nazi and-
We captured you, we would still treat you like a human.
Yeah, he's saying like, if the Russians were coming.
Yeah, they ran NASA for the reason we made to the moon,
but that's true.
What are you saying, like the Russians are coming
from one side, the Americans are coming from the other,
and you're a Nazi soldier.
You want to surrender to the Americans.
You want to be with the Americans,
because the Russians are gonna-
The Russians just put a bullet in you.
They're gonna fucking, they're just, ugh.
We're not gonna, yeah, we're not gonna fucking kill you
or try to sew you to another person.
Dude, I think that-
Fucking concentration camps.
I think that comes from the non-homogenization
of the United States,
because like, Russians are homogenized,
they're all basically from the same,
not all of them, but mostly,
like they're from the same ancestry, right?
But in the United States, we're made up of everybody.
We have a little piece of everybody in the world,
and I think that's what makes like,
that's why America's on top.
Let me be honest with you, we just have the best,
I know we've talked about this before,
but we really have the best of everybody.
We have the best of what's around.
We also have the worst though.
You mean like in terms of bio-diversity.
We also have the one in 10.
We do.
You mean like-
I think it's getting higher.
I think it's more like two or three in 10.
Do you mean like we have the most bio-diversity?
Yeah, so this kind of gets into eugenics,
but you know, every nation-
You know, every good conversation gets into eugenics.
It does.
Like every nation survived
because they had some special thing about them, right?
All the other ones died off, like every other race, right?
So we opened our borders to everybody from around the world.
And like how many countries have done that?
It's usually like they just want to stick to themselves.
And because we did that,
I doubt that the United States will never be the world power.
Like I doubt that there's a point in history
where a homogenized country is going to be a world power.
God damn, Dan.
We need all four of us here
because we fucking like bounce off each other
when we're all four here.
When one of us is missing, things don't work.
The dynamic falls apart.
Well, I'm glad I can help.
We stay on the Christmas special podcast.
Let's get down to it folks.
Oh shit.
Gotta get the cookies off here.
We went over the ground rules.
See it got you ground rules.
Casey is talking during the question.
If you know the question before it's before he finishes talking,
you can buzz in, but he can't finish the rest of the question.
Until you either get a question right or wrong.
If you get it wrong,
then he can finish the question and then you can.
So if you buzz in while he's talking, he stops talking.
Yeah.
And Casey, are we going to do it where you lose money?
If you lose money, if we're incorrect, right?
Oh, yeah.
OK.
Well, I need a little slack on this bitch.
Welcome back to Jeopardy on the Christmas special.
That's your 10 time winner, Tyler.
Yo!
Four time winner, Dan, the vitamin man.
And one time winner.
Yeah, baby.
That ain't a fucking goose egg anymore.
The Uno, Aliomac.
The Uno.
Even though I'm playing his numero doso with the buzzer.
Guess what?
I'm number one. Dan should have number two.
What is nitrogen?
That's my that's my pre Jeopardy guess at a question.
Nitrogen?
What is nitrogen?
All right.
Categories today.
You got new yay, new me.
Food.
RX.
What's RX?
Um, you about to tell me the generic name or the brand name
of the generic drug.
Christmas films.
What is Pavex?
Christmas films.
Battles of history.
Oh, that's from Tyler.
All right.
I guess I go first.
Let's do Tyler's.
God, I'm so nervous with these fucking battles.
I know.
I'm sitting here shaking.
Battles.
The last major German offensive campaign of World War II.
I'm not sure enough to buzz in.
What the fuck?
Do this make this just took away the mayhem because we all be shouting answers.
We don't know.
Say it again.
Oh, shit.
The last offensive campaign of Tyler buzzed in.
Yeah.
What is the battle of Stalingrad?
Oh, oh, shit.
Shit.
There's a risk now.
Anyone now something with Berlin?
What is I don't know.
I'll be the battle of the bulls.
Ah, Tyler's big battles again.
You were right with a goal.
The largest battle fought in North America was battle Gettysburg.
Oh, correct.
That was a question before.
I wasn't should have gotten.
No, that was not the same question.
What was the question last?
The question was the bloodiest battle of the Civil War.
Oh, yeah.
All right, we'll do battles again.
600.
The American Revolutionary War battle for control of Albany, New York.
Tyler.
Oh, yeah.
God damn it.
I'm not knocking myself.
I don't know battles.
Battles.
I don't know about this shit.
Yeah, I said that.
Oh, major air battle between the US and Japan.
Ah, what is the battle midway?
Oh, yeah.
We were just talking about that.
I was like, it is the battle of Midway,
but I didn't want to fucking lose my points, man.
Fuck me.
I knew that too.
Hold on.
I got to talk.
Dan's whispering something down.
I don't know why.
Let me talk about that.
You can't do that.
No, no, because if you hit it, it wasn't.
Yeah, then he'll say it.
We would just lose money if we did that.
How much?
It might be worth it.
You could lose 200.
You could lose up to 200.
But he still asked the question afterwards.
What are you guys doing?
Oh, nothing.
Dan's pick.
Never mind.
I thought I had something.
I think you did.
No, yeah.
Dan's pick.
Yeah, Dan's pick.
Let's do, well, let me see.
What was the category that battles in history?
What was the other category?
New Yay, New Me, Food.
Food.
Let's do food.
No, RX.
Do the RX.
RX.
Tell me what the trade name of this drug is.
Paracetamol.
No, don't know it.
It'd be Tylenol.
What?
Yeah, that's a C.
Yeah, it's a C.
Wait a minute, but if the classic doctor way of saying it's paracetamol.
Never heard of it.
Yeah, never heard of it.
Never.
I mean, I would have fucking been all over that Dan picks for the dance big for that.
Let's do RX again.
400 hydro morphone.
Oh, fuck.
Dan.
Hydro morphone is, oh, wait, so I got to give you the trade name.
Yeah.
What is Oxycod?
I don't know.
Fuck.
I think I know what it is, but I'm not confident enough to buzz in.
Also, if you get to, if you lead into Final Jeopardy with negative points, you don't get
to do final Jeopardy.
What is methadone?
You have to buzz in.
Also, you just lost.
No, I didn't buzz in.
Yeah, I buzzed in.
But you lost points, bro.
Why?
No, he already.
He already lost points.
I can't.
You can't lose it again.
If it was right.
He did it.
Yeah, he was just guessing now.
If it was correct and he said it was correct, I mean, maybe you weren't going to hold me.
I don't know.
I can't lose points.
I'm guessing you'll take a shot.
I can't get tracidone, but I don't want to fucking beep beep beep beep.
So you're not going to take a shot?
I'm not going to take a shot.
I'll be delotted.
Oh, thank God.
Fuck.
I don't even.
Dan's pick.
That was a question before, too.
We're running low on questions here.
Let's do this RX one.
That was not a question.
It definitely was.
I'm going to find the episode.
I'm going to come back.
I'm going to show you that we're recycling questions here.
Oh, shit.
Kumadin.
What is it?
Number two.
Dan.
Me?
No, it's Ali-Man.
That is me.
I know it.
What is Warfarin?
God damn it.
Yeah.
I just pressed it because I knew it, but I'm like, wait a minute.
What number am I?
Oh, three.
We'll go RX.
For 800.
Cyclobenzaprene.
I don't fucking know.
I suck at medications.
No.
I got nothing.
What's the scores?
Answer the question.
No.
Is it Benadryl?
Flexeril.
Oh, fuck. I did know that.
I never.
Do we still got more RX?
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll go again.
1000.
Fluoxetine.
Dude, I don't fucking know, man.
Oh, fuck.
You have to buzz in if you're going to do it.
God damn it.
I know it.
I know.
Fuck.
See how less chaotic this is?
Yeah, it is.
What is this?
No.
Prozac.
Oh, god.
I should have known that.
Alimax.
Dude.
Wow.
RX?
No.
New Yay, New Me.
Food.
Christmas films.
Battles of history.
Potent portable.
Let's do New Yay, New Me.
200.
Kanye is from this US city.
What is Chicago?
Motherfucker.
Chicago.
Wait, what?
No, he's definitely from Chicago.
That's what I was going to go with, too.
He's definitely from Chicago.
He's fucking Chottown, bro.
No, he's definitely from fucking Chicago.
No, he's fucking Chottown.
Yeah.
I'm going to look this up, dude.
That's bullshit.
He's definitely from Chicago.
Anyone else?
I'm not going.
Fuck no.
I was going to answer with Chicago.
All he's talking about is Chottown and every fucking.
No fucking way.
Really.
It'd be Atlanta.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Because he was born in Atlanta.
Wow.
That fucking blew my mind.
It was Chicago, everything.
He talks about Chicago all the time.
Wow.
That's nuts.
What's the score?
I think it's mine because Tyler.
What's the scores?
Can you tell me?
Tyler's got 600.
Ali Max got 600.
Dan's got 400.
Damn.
This is getting tight, bro.
This is getting tight.
I think it's my pick because Tyler did not get that.
Look how new Ye knew me again.
400.
This artist was featured with Ye on the 2005 single Gold Digger.
What is Jamie Foxx?
God damn.
I thought you were going to ask who was his partner
and watched the throne.
I almost buzzed in and said Jay-Z beforehand.
I'm so glad I didn't.
We'll do battles.
Battles.
A thousand.
This World War II battle is remembered
by a photograph of three soldiers.
What is Iwo Jima?
Yup.
Raising the American flag.
We also just talked about that.
I just don't know why I didn't buzz in earlier.
Tyler's big.
So we got Nenya, you me, food, Christmas movies, and what else?
Yeah, potent potable.
New Christmas movies.
200.
The Griswolds survived the holidays
with their eccentric father, Ali Matt.
No, it's not me.
What is National Lampoon's specification?
Why am I not buzzing in?
Like, I know that.
I know that.
Why am I not buzzing in?
As soon as you, I watched the movie two days ago.
What is Christmas?
400.
Ralphie wants a red Ryder beef.
What is a Christmas story?
God damn it.
What are the Christmas movies?
For 600.
I'm going to put it so I got it.
You got 2600.
I'll bet 200.
200.
The ghosts.
You guys can't buzz in for this one.
The ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future.
What is a Christmas Carol?
Oh, yeah.
Christmas movies.
What the fuck?
I'm fucking with this, bro.
Because you're too old to witness.
I've been watching any of these movies growing up.
Christmas.
For 800.
This holiday film stars Arnold Sifflada.
What is Jingle All the Way?
Yes.
Fucking Jingle All the Way.
I can't say his name.
Jingle All the Way.
That's a good movie.
Christmas.
Billy Bob Thornton plays a mall Santa.
What is Bad Santa?
Yep.
He knows it all.
He knows all the Christmas movies.
I love Christmas, and I love movies.
That was my category.
I love Christmas, and I love movies.
I guess I don't love Christmas movies.
I knew National Land Poems.
That was that.
Let's do New Yay.
600.
In response to this event, Kanye once stated George Bush.
What is Katrina?
Hurricane Katrina?
George Bush is not Katrina.
No!
Dan!
Dan, he's coming back.
That was for 400, wasn't it?
It was 600.
Oh, shit.
There you fucking go.
Dan's pick.
Let's do the yee one.
800.
Name of Ye's 2004 debut album.
Fuck, which one was his debut?
What is Late Registration?
No, no.
What is Through the Wire?
No!
Oh, fuck.
I'm buzzing in again.
What is College Dropout?
That's correct.
God damn it!
I got my points back, at least.
Fuck!
I lost both.
Why the fuck did I say Late Registration?
I was going to buzz in and say College Dropout, motherfucker.
Oh, shit.
Late Registration's after fucking College Dropout.
God damn it.
At least I got my points back.
Jeez.
Yeah, you're just, it's net zero for you.
Yeah, that's fine, though.
It's better than a negative.
It's a net zero.
All right.
Whose pick is it?
I guess mine, even though I fucking lost money and got back.
We'll go Ye again.
Thousand.
Name that Ye song.
How could you be so cold as the winter wind?
What is Heartless?
Oh, yeah.
All right, yeah, of course.
In the night, I hear the song we called a story ever told.
What is...
Tyler's.
200.
Why did I not take my adderall, did I?
This kind of meat is wrapped around the beef in a beef Wellington.
I don't fucking know.
I don't fucking eat meat.
This kind of beef.
Can you say it again?
This kind of meat is wrapped around the beef in a beef Wellington.
What is Wellington?
What is roast beef?
Olsy, you got it wrong.
I'm just fucking guessing at this point.
I need to fucking get some points here somehow.
All right.
No, that's all right.
I changed my mind.
That would be prosciutto.
I don't even know what the fuck that is.
I know what prosciutto is.
God damn it.
I've never had a beef Wellington before in my life.
I probably should have fucking thought about that before I buzzed in.
Same.
Tyler's pick?
It's like you don't have to answer it.
400.
This kind of seafood is used inside of a California roll.
What is lobster?
No.
A California roll?
Yeah.
OK, we got it.
It's not going to me.
What is salmon?
No.
Look that up.
Damn, it's over.
Lobster?
No.
California roll?
No.
What kind of seafood?
Fuck.
I thought a California roll is avocado, carrots.
I thought California roll had fake lobster.
Imitation lobster meat.
No.
I'm not.
Is it crab?
Maybe there is no seafood.
That would be imitation crab.
God!
Fucking fuck!
Same fucking thing!
Wait, who got that wrong on that one?
Ali McHan.
Look that up.
Say what kind of meat is used in a California roll?
Except my phone's dead.
Look this up.
All right.
I think it is imitation crab, to be honest.
I even said the other one, is it crab?
And I'm thinking, yeah, imitation crab.
That's horse shit.
Because crab and lobster are the same fucking thing.
They're interchangeable.
God damn it.
They're the same creature.
They're not the same thing, buddy.
What are the other categories that I got besides food?
I mean, I hope you got it.
Because if you got it right, I wouldn't have buzzed in again.
And I get my points back.
No, you don't.
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
You can make rolls, so can I.
I'm just playing by the action.
Cool.
Fucking lobster.
If you get the question right, you can't get the answer.
It's the same fucking thing.
They taste exactly the fucking same.
No, they don't.
Yes, they do.
Damn, we got fucking pounds back in the body.
600.
Fucking hell.
5600.
I'll do five.
Fucking don't take out or I'll one die.
The third hottest pepper in the world as of 2023.
What is?
No, you can't do it.
No, so what is a ghost pepper?
No.
That would be a scorpion pepper.
God damn it.
No, no, it goes pepper X Carolina Reaper ghost pepper.
Scorpion is higher than a ghost pepper.
Yeah, it's pepper X Carolina Reaper scorpion pepper ghost pepper.
Really?
Yeah.
Are these Yeezys?
No, those are not Yeezy.
These are like eight year old Adidas with the tread worn off of them.
Or 800.
This spice blend is a mixture of tumor.
What is curry?
Curry.
Give me my fucking points back.
Fucking lobster crab question.
Dan, I'm rooting for you.
I'm out of this one.
Whose phone keeps dinging?
Mine's dead.
We got food or potent particles.
God, food.
For a thousand.
This Korean dish is made from fermented vegetables.
What is kimchi?
Oh, yeah.
I don't fucking know.
Kimchi is actually.
Give me the next question.
Danny got potent potable.
All right, potable.
Give it to me.
This cocktail is made with cream, coffee, liquor, and vodka.
What is an Irish car bomb?
No.
What?
I don't know what it is.
I'll take a shot because I need to fucking climb out.
What is an Irish coffee?
Irish coffee?
No.
What?
What did you say?
It was coffee.
I said car bomb.
With cream, coffee, liquor, and vodka.
Oh, what is a white Russian?
Oh, come on.
I was about to do that.
God fucking damn it.
I pressed the button, you pressed it faster.
Fuck you and your ass.
Alley back.
Back to zero.
Wait, you're at zero?
No.
How did I go down to zero?
Because you guessed a bunch of things wrong.
That's fucking bullshit.
You might be able to do final Japanese.
Give me in fucking Poe & Podables.
We're coming back hard right here.
The drink the old man makes love to in the song Piano Man.
Oh, fuck.
What is tonic and gin?
I was already buzzed in in what is tonic and gin.
Oh, fuck.
For the love of God.
Making love to his tonic and gin.
Poe & Podables, give me the points.
Poe & Podables for 600.
You got 400 points.
The VAC limit for driving in New York.
What is 0.8?
Oh, yeah.
Who is one?
That's Tyler.
0.8?
You said 0.8.
He said 0.8.
He said 0.8?
Yes.
0.8.
He said 0.8.
You can't fucking do that.
0.8.
You can't do that.
What is 0.8?
You can't do that.
Woo.
You answered incorrectly, Tyler.
Deduct his points, too.
I did.
He did.
Give me Poe & Podables and my points, please.
I did.
I know.
For 800.
You got 1,000 points.
All right, fuck it.
We're going to send it all in.
Ship it in.
This cocktail is made from whiskey, lemon juice,
and sugar.
What is an old fashioned?
That's not.
Wait, what?
You lost all your points.
Wait, you said whiskey, lemon juice, and what?
Sugar.
That's not an old fashioned.
That's bitters.
No, it's orange.
That would be a whiskey sour.
If you listen to Ian Flux, you know that.
Casey, if you fucking reference that piece of shit one more time
in my lifetime, I will kill you.
And I will go with Poe & Podables again for 1,000.
For 1,000.
Yeah, you might get 1,000 points.
Tyler, stop talking shit.
You got 5,000 points.
We get it.
Go ahead, Casey.
This green drink is also known as Hemingway's Champagne.
Who the fuck is Hemingway?
Ernest Hemingway?
You don't know what his drink is.
This green drink is known as Hemingway's Champagne.
No, I didn't say anything.
I was responding to him being like Ernest Hemingway.
He said, who is him as Hemingway?
No, he didn't.
He had positive.
How many points do I have, Casey?
I'll just guess.
1,200.
1,200?
And how many points is the question?
1,000.
So I'll lose 1,000 if I guess?
Yeah.
I'll have 200 left.
That's good.
All right.
I'll be absent.
That's what I was going to say, but I
didn't want to lose the points.
Damn.
I can't lose.
Final Jeopardy.
Tyler's got 4,900.
Dan's got 1,200.
Alex Max got negative 1,000.
Damn straight.
I'll do my bet.
I'm going to bet it all.
I'm going to try to go further into the negatives here.
I'm going to bet negative 1,000.
I'm in.
My phone's dead, so.
I'm all in.
You're all in?
Yeah.
What does Tyler bet?
I'll write it down here.
Yeah, you can.
I'll slip it to you.
If Tyler bets the correct amount,
he cannot lose right now.
So just don't fuck the math up, Tyler.
The category's about Christmas, of course.
God damn it.
That's wonderful.
It's going to be the closest.
All right.
Well, for this question, bets don't matter,
because it's going to be the closest one to the right answer.
These are the names of Santa's nine reindeer.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I don't fart.
God damn it.
I'm glad I don't even need to participate.
What the fuck?
This is a biased fucking.
This was.
This is a biased fucking.
This was, this was a biased episode.
No, no, I'm not even going to try.
You're not going to try?
No.
Dan refuses in protest of the question.
This is unprecedented.
I wasn't allowed to listen to that song as a kid.
I stand by Dan.
I can't answer.
I'm in the negative.
Does Tyler know?
Tyler could put anything and win right now.
Even if he were to get this question wrong
and Dan got it right.
Hold on, hold on.
Shut up.
Let me let me think.
My God.
She get points for any of them.
Tyler gets negative 10,000 if he answers this question wrong.
I'm all for that.
He knows it.
He's just taking his sweet ass time to gloat.
He fucking knows that.
I fucking pray to God he's wrong now.
I'll shit my pants and come.
Christmas episode.
I know the one with red nose.
That's meant where I am, too.
I know that one and then two more.
This is the, these are the ones that I absolutely know,
but I don't know the rest.
Tyler says Rudolph Comet Blitzen Cupid Donner Dancer Dasher.
Tyler, that's only seven.
Where's Blitzen at?
I said Dasher.
I'm afraid that's wrong.
The answer was Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid,
Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph.
Yeah, I still won.
Yeah, Tyler got 500.
Yeah.
Tyler wins.
Merry Christmas.
Merry fucking Christmas.
You know, I was in that game until I
started taking shots in the dark.
Dude, I don't like that whole subtracting point.
Because I would have gotten that absinthe one,
but I was too afraid to say it.
No, that's the point.
We just got to get used to it.
It's growing pains.
We got to get used to it as fucking Tyler winning.
No, I don't think so.
I think we just got to get used to the play style.
No, you got to get.
I made a lot of, like I buzzed in when I wasn't sure
a couple of times, and I shouldn't have done that.
I had a couple categories that I swept, and that was it.
I had Christmas.
Yeah, you kind of got fucking handed the win
with the fucking categories there.
God damn it.
I didn't know anything about fucking medications.
All right, I'm done.
I wanted that fucking Warfarin one,
but the buzzer locked me the fuck out.
I got zero food.
I was hoping you wouldn't get that one.
I was hoping.
I'm like, I didn't know it.
I froze, and then I was like, wait,
this is a lot easier than I'm making it.
It's fucking Warfarin.
I first noticed, like, wait a minute.
Think of your blood thinners, which one is which?
I'm like, no, it's fucking Warfarin.
Like Lasix, what is Lasix?
Klappategral, what is it?
Ali-Mack?
Clopidogrel.
That's fucking wait, hold up.
Hold up, no, I know that one.
Clopidogrel, that's fucking.
Give me a minute.
It's the other major one.
I said it earlier.
Why the fuck is this taking me so long?
Clavix.
What was that thing about Midway that you wanted to talk about?
You guys brought that back, and you told me to remind you.
Oh, no, I was just looking for places to fly to in Flight
Simulator.
That's one of the things I like about that game
is that you just learn about geography.
And I'm like, I just zoom in on these little islands,
and I'm like, oh, what is this?
And it was Midway.
Yeah, the Midway Island.
So then I Wikipedia and watch videos on it and shit.
Midway Atoll.
And yeah, Midway is really a fascinating island.
It's real fucky.
There's like 15 people that live there all the time.
Really?
Yeah, it's still used.
As a military fueling place, isn't it?
Right, yeah, for emergency landings only,
because planes that are flying to Japan and wherever else you
fly to from California, they use Midway,
because it's Midway Point.
But if they have to do an emergency landing,
it's still an active runway.
But it's really just an interesting place.
But there's a lot of people that were in that battle that
are still alive, I believe, or were associated with it.
Their family were in the military,
and they lived on Midway.
That still have a connection to the island.
Dude, I read a couple stories about it was either Midway
or Iwo Jima, because they still have an active military base
on there that they need guards and shit on.
And they said that there's fucking a shit ton of ghosts
on those fucking runways and shit.
Really?
They said they fucking hang out, and they're on guard duty,
and it's an island of 14 people.
So they're just fucking sitting on the island,
just fucking sitting around.
And they have to do their rounds, like a guard does.
So they're doing their rounds, and they just
see somebody walk into a building.
So they fucking rack up, and they fucking run into the building,
and there's nobody there.
Bro, that would be an insane plot for a horror movie.
What, the ghost of Midway?
Yeah, you're just trapped on a fucking island
in the middle of the Pacific by yourself,
and there's fucking ghosts walking around.
Where are you going to run to?
You can't.
What, are you going to take a boat?
Yeah, there's a whole bunch of ghost stories
about the military.
It's one of the former Japanese islands
that we have a military base on that a battle happened on.
I don't know if it's Midway.
I think it might be.
But I do know that it's one of the islands that
has a military base on it.
The guards there, they have so many fucking ghost stories
where people will see people walking and then just
disappear and shit.
They'll see people fucking in.
There was one that was fucking a really cool story that I heard.
And these guys were doing their rounds,
and a guy in full US World War II fucking era gear
ran up to him, asked them where he was,
and then ran into the woods and disappeared.
What the fuck?
Yeah, dude, that was a cool fucking story.
It was written better than I can fucking say it,
but they said a guy in full on GI fucking gear
ran out of the fucking tree line, went to M1 Garand and shit,
asked the dudes where he got fucking split off
from his fucking platoon, where they went.
And the guys are like, what the fuck's going on?
And he looked at the uniforms and stuff,
and he didn't think that they were American uniforms,
I guess, and then just ran off into the woods.
And then they went out to go get them.
They went to the end of the island,
and they couldn't find them, even with thermal scopes.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Dude, that's insane.
Now, Midway, maybe I'm getting confused.
Isn't it like if you look at Hawaii
and where its trail is of like, there's
a bunch of islands that like, I don't know,
there's the main island of Hawaii, right?
And there's like Honolulu, right?
Which one's the main island?
Oh, Oahu?
So they get smaller as you go further out
into the Pacific off the little Hawaii archipelago,
isn't that what you call it?
Like a chain of islands?
Is Midway the one all the way at the end, or is it its own thing?
I think it's its own thing, because if it was part of Hawaii,
it would be.
It's not really part of Hawaii, but if you look at the geography
under the ocean, it's part of that mountain range.
It is, yeah.
That makes the Hawaii chain.
I think, I think.
Dude, it's so crazy to look at how far Hawaii actually
is from America.
It is wild.
It's out there in the middle of nowhere.
Fucking nothing out there.
Shout out Honolulu.
Check out that fucking absent the question.
God fucking knows.
I'll be thinking about that tonight laying in bed.
Fuck!
Really?
Listening to this episode.
I don't know if I.
Three runs of a baseball game I was in.
Oh, shit.
Mid-Pacific, sea mounts.
It's got to be somewhere in here.
Yeah, I don't think I'm going to re-listen to this one.
I'm just mad at myself.
I guessed on a bunch.
I don't need to be guessing.
Well, we're learning.
We are.
It's just a learning.
We're learning how to lose.
I wasn't on.
No, no, I wasn't on Adderall today.
I did not take my performance enhancing drugs.
I just, I was doing freestyle.
Tyler, what PEDs are you taking?
Nicotine.
That's a pretty good one.
I'm not done fucking with a B1.
Bro.
You're done fucking with the B1?
Yeah.
There's only certain circumstances
where I'll use B1 again.
So technically, Midway Island is a US territory.
It is off the coast.
There is Hawaii over here.
I'm looking at it right now.
The Hawaiian Islands.
Basically, it's off like, it's like a couple hundred miles
off of Hawaii.
Yeah.
I wonder if like, if you were to commit murder on that island.
Nobody would know.
But it's still considered a US territory.
I know, but what court system would you be processing?
The United States federal government.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
It's like if you kill somebody on Puerto Rico,
it would still be a US technical like thing.
Well, I know that one.
But that's what I'm saying when it comes to something where it's
the same.
But like, it's like the same kind of category type thing.
But like, what courtroom are you going into though?
Because like, if you shoot somebody in Puerto Rico,
you're going to be in a Puerto Rican courthouse.
They'd probably send you to Hawaii or something like that.
I would imagine.
If they ended up catching you.
I mean, it'd probably be hard to catch you.
That being said, I have no intentions
of murdering anyone on Midway Island.
I would just like to clear that up real quick.
Yeah.
But Dan, it's good to be here, man.
Yeah, dude.
I was honestly, I was getting ready to nose down
and call it a night.
Yeah, but like, we're happy you came here, man.
Like, we got, we still got some time, man.
We could talk about some more cool things.
Like, you got anything interesting Christmas related?
Anything Christmas related?
If not, like, that's cool.
We were talking about how Donald Trump hates windmills.
Donald Trump hates windmills.
It's pretty funny.
That's going to be a fun one that you're going to listen to.
Dude, that's what I like, not being here for part of it.
So it's a surprise when I do listen to it.
Donald Trump hates windmills.
We talked about Fanta being a Nazi collaborator.
Fucking, you know, whole bunch of shit.
What else did we talk about?
Anything Christmas related?
You got any ghost stories about Christmas?
Ghost stories about Christmas?
You got any?
No, just everybody knows the story of Krampus.
Oh, yeah, Krampus.
Dude, we got to talk about Krampus.
We haven't talked about Krampus.
Krampus is a fucking Christmas.
Krampus can suck my cock.
I thought that that was going to be the answer to the question.
So I wrote it down here.
You wrote Krampus down?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Which page is it on here?
Krampus.
I was trying to guess before Casey said it.
Krampus is the Christmas demon.
Oh, there's the dick.
Did you draw a dick?
Yeah.
Oh, no, no.
I gave you the paper, Casey.
I do have the Dyson spheres.
But I want to wait until the next episode to talk about those.
I won't be here.
No, I don't have it.
I'll just have to listen to it.
Well, I'll wait till you come back.
I know you like the space stuff.
Now, please.
No, I'll wait for you.
Don't worry.
Please.
I won't be here for the next two weeks, everybody.
That's OK.
I'll spend more time researching.
I'm going on a cruise.
My girlfriend doesn't listen to this.
So the next time that I'll be on this podcast, I will be engaged.
Damn.
Congratulations.
Hopefully.
Yeah.
Anything can happen.
If not, I will jump overboard and you'll never see me again.
Tyler will nose down.
I will nose down and call it a night.
Damn.
But Merry Christmas, everybody.
It's a beautiful time of the year.
We'll be back.
I believe you mean happy holidays, Tyler.
Merry fucking Christmas.
I'll be back in the new year.
You have these three retards that come along and kind of hold
the fort down while I'm gone.
Yeah, Ali Mack will give us his Neil deGrasse.
No, I'm waiting for Tyler to come back for them.
You won't have anybody trying to disconnect the microphones this time.
No, no.
Don't worry.
It'll wait till you come.
I'm sorry.
No, I won't.
Yeah, I'll be upset.
No, you'll like to hear about the Dyson.
I don't care.
I hate Dyson vacuum cleaners with a passion.
Dyson.
Oh, and that's good because that's not what it is.
But we'll wait for you to come back for it.
Can I just go on a fucking small tangent here?
All right, I got something else to fucking say about outer space
that I learned that just blew my mind.
OK.
I think while we're on the subject, or you want to say what you have?
No, you can.
I'll fucking save my Dyson wrath until after you're done.
So I said this in the chat.
But did you know that the moon has a magma core?
No.
It has a magma core.
Well, you've got to think about how much mass is above it, though.
Well, I mean, it's so crazy.
You think it's this dead rock that's just floating around Earth?
Yeah.
When you look up at that, dude, there's earthquakes on the moon.
There's moonquakes.
Yeah.
And that's how they know that there's magma underneath.
I think it's crazy to think that for me, it's not necessarily
those ones that bug me.
It's more the giants that are just all gas.
It's weird for me to think of these colossal, colossal plants that just
don't have anything solid in them whatsoever.
But you would just fall through them.
Well, you would fall into the center of them.
And then there's just a mass of gas.
Yeah, it's a mass of gas.
But don't get me wrong.
That gas is under extremely high pressures in the insides
because of the weight and gravity that's pulling it all together.
But it's like if you were in the middle of Jupiter, actually Jupiter,
I can't remember.
Jupiter might have some solid to it.
But let's just say Jupiter doesn't have a solid core.
You would go in.
It's still so fucking hot in the middle, and it would be pitch black.
You wouldn't be able to see fucking anything.
But there would be so, so much pressure because you got to think
that's multiple times, multiple times larger than the Earth.
So and that gas is fucking heavy, too.
It's all coming down.
It's so fucking crazy to think about.
We're under air's gravity right now.
Air, it just has a very, it's very low density.
So it doesn't push us down that much.
But. Dude, what if these planets that we see, like to us, we only see gas.
But that's just because we're separated by dimensions.
And there's actually a whole Earth there.
Is there a universe over there?
Right.
And like we just, that's all the planets are actually inhabited.
Yeah.
But whatever the creators are of the sixth simulation that we're in, they,
whoa, they just, they separate us by dimensions.
So it's like we can see.
They're trying to fuck the mics up.
We can see some aspects of their dimension, but only certain aspects.
So like we see Mars and we see it looks like a dead planet.
Yeah.
But there's actually tons of so much shit going on there.
Right.
And same with like, so our microphones are our microscopes or our telescopes are
fucked.
There's chips in them.
No, no, we're saying like chips like other planets, like they actually are
inhabited by life, but like the designer of the simulation keeps us separated by
dimension.
So we only see aspects of it.
Right.
Dan, are you, I'm sorry to cut you off.
This is something I want to talk to you about.
So I'm not going to go into the interdimensional shit behind it, even though
I think that's cool.
But have you ever heard of a Boltzmann brain before?
Yeah.
What the fuck is that?
So Tyler, just if you don't fucking care, then don't talk.
Like, Jesus Christ.
I'm just going to go on my phone because I have so many things on my phone.
OK, do it.
I don't fucking care.
But fucking, so a Boltzmann brain is essentially, it's just a theory where if
you were, I can't describe the laws behind it, but if you were in a universe
that had a finite amount of space, but an infinite amount of time, that would
essentially open the laws of physics to allow for certain things to blip in and
out of existence.
So it's the theory that you could just be a brain that had lived a life on Earth,
but because there's infinite time and infinite possibilities along with that
time, your brain just simply popped into existence in the middle of somewhere
in the universe.
You don't have a body attached to it, but still a functioning brain capable of
carrying out thoughts and essentially saying that this could be a simulation
that's existing within that brain.
Your whole being is.
And there's really no way to disprove it.
It trips up a lot of scientists when we think about that because there's really
no way to disprove it.
It's just like because you would be a brain that's being born, essentially, in
the middle of space, but all your neurons and all of your memories and all this
stuff, all this stuff's still there.
And you're just sort of going through the motions of this brain floating in
space.
So like nothing's really real.
It's just your perception.
I don't believe it.
I don't believe that that's true, but there's no way to disprove it, which
fucks with a lot of people.
It's called a Boltzmann brain.
I'm putting it very much in layman's terms, but I would recommend you look into
it because it's pretty fucking freaky.
Damn.
It's essentially, yeah, you just pop into existence.
Dude, that's heavy.
Yeah.
Bro, I'm looking forward.
I hope it's not.
I feel like I have a Boltzmann brain right now.
I feel like I could be a Boltzmann brain sometime.
Dude, I'm looking forward to the future.
I'm looking forward to space travel.
You know, I was listening to a podcast with...
J.Rogan?
No, it was Lex Friedman and Jeff Bezos.
I love him, dude.
Dude, he's such an annoying little asshole.
No, he's not at all.
He's a fucking Jew.
Whoa.
Well, the podcast just went there.
That reminds me of a conspiracy theory that I had.
What about the Jews?
The Jews did Chernobyl.
What?
They did.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
I need to hear this.
All right.
So...
Why would the Jews do Chernobyl?
One, take that back what you said about the Jews.
What, the Jews not doing Chernobyl?
No, no, no, about you said Lex Friedman's a Jew.
Dude, he's awesome.
Oh, I just don't like him.
Well, that has nothing to do with him being Jewish.
He's right.
Sorry, the German blood in me came out.
Like something...
You're just digging the hole deeper.
It's like, might as well get out of the way now
because it's going around.
So, no.
Dude, I love his podcast.
I don't.
But...
I just think he's annoying.
He talks so monotone.
It makes me angry.
He has like no emotion.
I know, dude, a lot of people say,
my buddy said the same exact thing.
He has no emotion.
Sorry about...
That's because he's Russian.
Okay, for our Jewish viewers, I'm sorry about the comments
that I made.
It's not really...
We just went down on Spotify.
It was a joke.
From the 50,000th podcast.
We were at 50,000 on one.
We were huge in Israel.
We just lost our funding.
The banks just cut us off.
We're done.
The bussers are gone.
I'm sorry I was out of line.
We're number 501 in Israel.
He's repossessed.
So, the Jews in Chernobyl.
So, a lot of people don't know this,
but the Chernobyl was actually...
They were in debt to banks, Jewish-owned banks.
It was a joke.
I like the Jews.
I'm marrying a Jewish woman.
JP Morgan and Chase Manhattan.
To build this, the Russians actually took out loans
with these major Jewish controlled banks.
And so, they just stopped paying their bills.
And this was like a billion dollar facility
to build Chernobyl.
Very expensive.
And the Russians just decided that they
weren't going to pay it.
And so, the theory goes that they planted people
in the facility to initiate the meltdown.
Because it went on for years.
They weren't paying their bills.
They just stopped.
They still owed half a billion dollars on it.
And they said, well, you're going to fuck around and find out.
And they caused the meltdown.
Oh, shit.
Now that area is uninhabitable for tens of thousands of years.
Yeah.
Don't.
No.
It's only 200 years.
Don't fuck around.
Certain areas are much longer, though.
There's people on this earth you can fuck.
Don't fuck with the Jews.
They will shut you down.
They will kick you.
They will.
Like I said, I'm sorry about that.
That was a off-color comment.
That was a joke.
That was a slip.
That was a joke.
It was a slip.
I'm marrying a Jewish woman.
So I am.
And you always talk about Ben Shapiro's sister.
She's hot, really.
She's really hot.
Oh, by the way, I made up that whole thing about Chernobyl.
What?
Can we just cut that part whole out?
I made up the entire thing.
No, not any of that is an actual thing.
So we're going to put you down.
Are we going to cut out that Jew part?
Oh, my god.
The Russians didn't borrow money from Jewish banks to build it.
But it sounded good, right?
Yeah.
You've got to give me that.
It sounded believable.
I believed it.
Dice it back in things.
It just says anything, and it just fucking goes right.
Chinese super soldiers.
Speaking of, the tallest person that's ever lived was from China.
And if you see pictures of this bitch,
this bitch was like fucking 9 feet, 10 feet tall.
That Chinese super soldier shit that I'm talking about,
I'm not joking around.
They are doing that.
And you tell me that these fucking Yao Ming's
and these people like this fucking 10 foot tall bitch
weren't fucking escaped experiments.
Would you fuck the 10 foot tall bitch?
Dude.
Yeah.
What if I'm 5 foot 6?
Dirty day.
You think I want to improve my jeans a little bit?
Jesus.
But what if they got your jeans?
Average that out, Casey.
10 feet tall.
I'm 5 foot 6.
That's 66 inches compared to what is 120 inches?
That's not right.
7 feet 10 inches.
Yeah, 12 times 10.
You mean the average of those?
Yeah, average those together.
7 feet.
Add them together and divide it by 2.
And that's how tall my kids would be.
7 feet 10 inches.
7 foot tall, 10 inches.
Almost 8 foot tall kids.
Yeah.
I'll get busy.
Fuck yeah.
Is she good looking at least?
No.
Oh, god no.
She's deplorable.
Her fucking knees were touching.
It was like, ugh.
Tallest person?
Look at the tallest female in China.
And you'll see what I'm talking about.
Her hands were huge.
She'd crush your dick.
Robert Wallow.
Oh yeah, that was from the US.
He has the world record for the tallest person.
Robert Wallow was born in 1918 in the United States,
and he's 8 foot 11.
What the fuck are you talking about, Dan?
Is he still alive?
No, he's dead.
Yao Defend was fucking 7 foot 8.
Look up tallest woman.
Tallest woman in China.
That bitch died like three years ago.
Says that she died in 2012.
Oh, god.
8 foot 40.
I gave her one.
She was the tallest living woman, former deceased.
Clocked in at 7 foot 7.8 inches.
Brother, she has a mongoloid face.
That's fine.
Look, I'm going for tall kids, not pretty kids.
She is.
Let me see.
That looks scary.
That is disastrous.
She looks really scary.
Her head is like malformed.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's got giant leaves.
But that's the fucking Chinese super soldier shit
I'm talking about.
This is what I'm talking about, Casey.
That was, it says that it was caused by a tumor
on her pituitary gland.
Yeah, OK.
A tumor put there by the fucking Chinese government
to grow super soldiers.
She's an escaped experiment, bro.
Look at that fucking chin.
Let me see.
Holy shit.
Dude, she looks like a real life nutcracker.
Bro, that is, she looks, imagine, OK.
She was 7 foot 8.
OK, so imagine that coming at you.
She's a foot taller than our fucking boy.
Imagine that coming at you with a flak jacket
and a fucking, a gun made for her, especially made for her.
Dude, our fucking friend, our friend from our former,
our friend from our former employer is 6 foot fucking 7.
And this dude is terrifying.
And he was in the military.
Like that dude, I'd be fucking scared if I saw that dude.
I'd be like, fuck, you're big.
Dude, how the fuck is something like that alive?
The first thing that I did when he came in, I go, fuck, you're big.
That must be nice.
Dude, he's so fucking big, dude.
He has like duck to get through doorways.
That is nice.
I'm going to apple peck on that.
She's sitting down and she's fucking taller than people.
Well, that's a Chinese person, so I wouldn't really,
I wouldn't really put that.
No, but she's next to like white American men.
It's not even that she's tall, dude.
It's that she's fucking.
She's huge.
Her body proportions are literally like.
Scary.
Just imagine Dan's face on that.
Oh my god.
Just imagine Dan's face.
Game over.
It's game over.
Just imagine if they had the dashing good looks of Dan,
but the height of her.
She's fuckable.
No, she's not.
She's scary.
I'd fuck her.
Dude, she looks, she belongs in a horrible way.
You say you wouldn't fuck her.
I'd fuck her right in the pussy.
I would not.
Have you ever seen that interview?
Yes.
The guy doesn't know he's on.
Fuck her right in the pussy.
Not the fuck her right in the pussy guy.
No, which one are you talking about?
I'm talking about the guy who's like, he's like in his,
I don't know, he's probably like in his late 20s.
And they're talking about like some girl,
like while they think they're off air.
And he's like, hey, I don't care.
She's 20.
I'd fuck her.
I'd still fuck her.
And they're like, the lady is in the studio,
like waiting to cut to him.
Because he's out in the field.
You know how they do that with the news reports.
And he didn't know that he was on.
And he's like, fuck her.
I'd fuck her.
I don't care if she's 20 years old.
I'd fuck her right in the pussy.
He says something like that.
And they cut back to the lady in the studio.
She's like, oh, sorry about that language.
I wish my phone wasn't dead.
I'd show you.
I don't care if she's 20.
I'd fuck her.
That's fucking nuts, dude.
So if you were to lose a finger,
which one would you choose?
Pinky.
Ring finger.
My dick.
My dick as well.
Dude, I've always.
Your pinky makes up for a lot of your balance.
Your ring finger is just kind of nice.
You're kind of right, dude.
Fuck.
Oh, wait, we're not.
This isn't Jeopardy.
Yeah, no, you're probably right about that.
Cause you can still grab shit.
Let me see.
Yeah, I guess.
But if I, no, I choose my left pinky.
I don't know.
Cause look at that, dude.
No, but you gotta think when you're holding that like that
with your fucking, with your weird retard hands.
You're dreaming, dude.
No, dude, if you do that.
You're dreaming.
This sucks.
This, it's because this has your bump is touching it.
Like your knuckle is touching it.
So when you're doing it like this, you could.
I choose my ring finger.
I almost lost my ring finger the other day.
Look how much easier it is
if you can just grip with these three fingers and do that.
Look at that.
Try.
Hold on, hold on.
Dude, and then try and do it without your ring finger.
Your ring.
Dude.
You want the three strongest ones.
You wanna keep those three strong ones.
Take the pinky.
Pinky can go.
I almost lost my ring finger the other day.
The problem is.
I think I lose the pinky.
Yeah, cause it's like, you know, they say pinky out.
It's cause you're not using it.
No, because.
It's like in the way.
I got my finger caught in the auto loader and the stretcher.
Oh shit.
Dude, it fucking hurt like a motherfucker.
If it was too, if it was like an inch more in it,
I would have lost my finger.
I just dislocated my top knuckle.
Dude, the absolute.
I've always thought like,
if I really wanted to like fuck with somebody,
like say somebody like hurt my family or something,
or somebody near and dear to me.
Yes, let's see what you're talking about.
I would, I would chop their fingers off.
Like the first three, because then it's like,
dude, how are you gonna wipe your ass?
Dude, that, that every time they go to wipe their ass,
they're gonna think of me, you know,
that I chopped their fucking fingers off.
I would just use my other hand.
Chop those off too.
So then they just have two hands
with like a ring finger and a pinky.
And they're trying to grip the toilet paper.
It's just.
Just cut their hands off.
Or just take all their fingers off.
Just cut off their hand.
Oh dude.
They're probably just gonna buy a bidet.
There's that, but it's like, dude, I would, I would.
I think I would do that.
I saw this video of this guy online
who builds his own prosthetics
because he lost these three fingers.
And like, he has like motorcycle chain that he uses.
And like when he flexes his hand,
it like grips down like that.
And it's like, has like a decent amount of grip strength.
And then he flicks it out.
The motorcycle chain like plays out.
And it's like, when it's relaxed,
it's like there's like, it's like loose
like your fingers are.
Damn.
Yeah, it was cool.
He makes like, he's been making more and more
like in-depth prosthesis, prosthetics.
But like it's fucking nuts.
Like he's like, like, and he like did like a thing
where he can shut it on and off with like a thing.
And he can do like things where he like one finger's loose.
Like he wants his pinky loose.
He goes like this with it.
He can go like two of these fingers down.
And then he can do this too.
He goes. Oh shit.
He added that in just for fun.
So a middle finger one.
Yeah.
Damn.
Dude, that shit's going to be like so much better
with Neuralink and stuff like that.
Yeah.
It's just going to be.
Dude, it's crazy.
They're going to have full function.
You're just going to have fully functioning limbs.
And then they're going to grow them in test tubes.
It's going to literally be fucking Star Wars
where Luke gets his hand cut off.
No, it's not going to be.
It's like, cyber pong back on.
It's not going to be a big deal to lose a limb in like 20
years.
It's just not going to be a problem.
Cadaver limbs are going to be a thing.
I got something to tell you about Neuralink off the air.
Why does it have to be off the air?
There's some things about it that will be off the air.
But you'll understand.
Off the air?
Yeah, dude.
I'll tell you about it.
You can't do like an edited?
No.
It's got some stuff.
But I'll tell you about it.
All right.
Well, I think I want to hear this.
So I think we should end this.
All right.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Krimbus.
Merry Christmas.
If you like Untitled Podcast, send us an email.
And like us on X and Facebook.
Remember the reason for the season, boys.
Jesus Christ.
I also told the story of Christmas while you were gone.
I can't wait to tell us about that.
Jesus saves.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
And to all, a good night.
And be kind to yourself.
Fuck off.
And each other.
We out.
I don't know.
What the fuck?
We just don't know if they do or don't.
How do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet?
Fuck no.
This is a little dubby.
No, no.
We are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole.
Yes, we are.
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts.
Extended episodes.
Where the fuck did the Siermans come from?
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from?
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
They're killing all the already born babies
and selling them to the Chinese.
Aliens exist.
Somewhere in China, in some base, there
are super soldiers that are at least 9 or 10 feet tall.
Anthropoclesatrum.
They have dread.
They're super soldiers.
Then they are extraterrestrials.
They are aliens.
I do not associate with them.
What a fucking mess.
I'm going to die.
Shit.
Run!
We gotta go to the fucking moon because fucking JFK
got assassinated by the fucking government.
He got killed by the CIA.
JFK was killed by the government.
Before my eyes, while holding their pulse,
feel them die of this virus.
You feel bump, bump, bump, beep, nothing.
They're fucking gone.
I've seen it happen.
I think that the government has taken it to the next level
with the birds.
They know what birds are going to cross caps with you
that you are going to be able to raise.
And they are going to make them so fucking real.
They're going to sink money into them.
They know that if you put that motherfucker in a cage,
they're going to be able to convince you
that things fucking real.
You can cut it open.
You're going to see blood, guts, no circuitry.
But let me tell you, their technology
is out of solution.
Which, by the way, big brother, is the overlord.
We're only living in the third dimension.
Oh!
Oh shit.
George Soros is an actual Nazi collaborator.
Okay? I'm not fucking lying.
It's fucking real. Okay?
Look it up. Look it up.
He says that he was doing this shit.
George Soros actually worked with the fucking Nazis during the Holocaust.
He says that he was doing it just to survive.
But he fucking loved it. He was having a great fucking time doing this shit.
George Soros is the fucking devil!
Okay? He's not fucking doing this shit.
George Soros is fucking evil.
He's the actual fucking leader for all this shit.
He's fucking fucked down a whole bunch of shit.
Just don't fucking get it.
Everybody's like, no Donald Trump is the fucking word person out there.
Donald Trump, right?
Donald Trump!
He's not the actual fucking leader.
It's George Soros. It's Bill Gates.
It's fucking Elon Musk.
It's everyone out there.
Everybody says, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybody is saying, Elon Musk is so cool.
He made like a place for all this shit.
He's the actual government.
He's trying.
The actual full government, which is George Soros and all the fucking Nazis,
are actually the ones that are in charge of fucking the Holocaust.
The queer politicians are paid off by the fucking building.
No fucking walk.