The following program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
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For all we know, robots have souls. We just don't know if they do or don't. How do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet?
Yeah, but I see some little dubby stack, right?
No, no, we are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole.
Yes, we are.
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts.
Extended episodes! Where the fuck did the Siermans come from?
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from? You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
Ugh, they're killing all the already-born babies and selling them to the Chinese.
The aliens exist as...
Somewhere in China, in some base, there are super soldiers that are at least 9 or 10 feet tall.
Okay, I'm talking about the Sauron. They have dread and super soldiers.
Then they are extraterrestrials. They are aliens.
They don't know what they're doing.
The day of the ultimate grand Today Luchicus is upon us
Welcome to the Antenna Podcast!
Episode 52! Welcome back fuckers!
Dang! 52 episodes!
We got everybody here.
An average of how many hours per episode?
Uh, probably two.
We're two and a half.
Some episodes we did like one hour, some episodes we did like, you know, five, three and a half.
That's a hundred hours of content that's admissible in court.
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, now that we've been doing this for so long, I'm thinking, I'm like, shit.
It depends what the statute, it depends about like, statute of limitations and shit like that.
Yeah, it would have to be like fucking ten years.
Are you still not taking any civil service exams?
No.
This is something where like, even if just somebody I know finds it,
I mean, we got three hundred years.
It's not even in court, but it's like, oh wow, you're saying some really outlandish shit.
Oh my god, there's a hundred hours of this?
Well, somebody said a certain type of people can't swim and that wasn't me.
And I think that's one of the worst things that's been said on the podcast to date.
Who said that?
Tyler?
That wasn't me.
I'm not throwing anybody under the bus.
No, who was?
Only Tyler would say that, so.
I don't think I would say that.
So, somebody said a certain group of people are known for not being able to swim.
Which one?
Which group or which person?
Which group?
Tyler.
I didn't say that.
I think you're lying.
So as I was saying that some say that October twenty, twenty three will be
considered the start of World War Three because of the Israel or Hamas war.
I think I think if you're going like by like the history book type things,
it's going to be the fucking Ukraine War is what like it's going to be like the
Franz Ferdinand type thing in World War One, but like the Ukraine thing is going
to be like I think that's what's actually going to be considered like the start
of the war period.
How bold of you to assume that in like fifty years there will be textbooks on
this. We're all going to fucking die if there's that war.
All right.
They're just going to get fucking do somebody's going to shoot a nuke by
accident and we're not going to catch it.
We were fucking retarded.
How many times have we almost nuked ourselves to go to war with them again?
It's fucking curtains for us.
I don't think so.
I didn't get that.
You're stupid.
I don't think that this is going to result in World War Three, though.
I think I think that there's not a lot of it's already happening.
What I'm saying, the proxy, there's 19,000 proxy words are starting fucking on
the coast right now ready to invade.
Dude, this is like the US military is spread so fucking thin right now.
So you know what's crazy, though, is this is almost exactly how like World War
One was starting.
You had a whole bunch of regional conflicts and then like everybody had their
hat in with one of the people in the regional conflicts and then like all it
takes is one spark of that powder keg and then everybody joins in.
It's like this isn't like a World War Two.
This is like a World War One scenario.
Like everybody has like their own allies.
It's like you attack our ally.
We're going to fuck you up right now.
How much talk though?
No, dude, this is like no talk about it.
No, it's because it's because these countries are in NATO.
These countries are in whatever.
I think it's Warsaw Pact.
It's not a Warsaw.
It's called the block or something.
Something block Eastern Block.
It's it's what you guys are telling me is that I don't watch the news for one
week and we have a World War that's potentially.
Yeah, dude, they were talking about like Ukraine and Russia.
You know about being well, what's that?
Did you not know about the Israel?
No, I knew about that thing.
Oh, Hamas and yeah, it's getting real bad.
Let's talk about the I feel like US is just going to support them financially.
No, no, no, we actually have troops on the fucking coast ready to go.
Don't we have two carriers?
We have two carrier groups.
We have 19,000 Marines that are waiting.
They fuck Christ.
What is it?
What is shitty fucking world is raining?
What is she fucking courtesy of my red, white and blue?
It's just like if you send the Marines and the Marines are going to just fuck shit up.
They're they're fucking nuts.
It's like, hey, what's the most nuts people we can send this just gets to the Marines.
Hold up.
So what was the verdict?
Or is this still ongoing?
The whole month's got to be ongoing.
Shit like that doesn't happen too quick.
But like, what do you guys think is going to happen with this whole chicks in the draft thing?
Oh, is that actually a thing?
Yeah, there should be a thing.
They want equal rights, equal fights, baby.
It's been all over fucking social media.
Listen, I had to sign up for the fucking draft to get a fucking loan.
You can't do shit if you're a man and you saw and you don't sign up for the draft.
You're fucked for the rest of your life.
Like, don't women already have the sun?
No, no, no.
I remember I vividly remember in fucking in my government and economics class.
They're like, all right, women, this is study hall for you today.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
And they're like, men, we're going to sign up for the draft.
Oh, they just sent me one in the mail.
I think it should be part of the draft, but I think the order should be like, you know, they have an order like 18 year old males or like 26 year old males go first or some shit.
Wait, what?
No, they have like an order of the way they pick people.
So it's 18 18 goes first up to 20.
I think like 21 goes first.
Yeah.
And then it's like 22 20, 20, 19, I think like 18 is last because they try not to pick like the youngest and the oldest.
Yeah, because I'd be at the top tier.
So I think they should do that.
It's 25 is the cutoff.
Twenty six is when you can't.
Well, I think they should draft the men before they draft women, though.
I still think women should be part of the draft.
But I think I think it's just fair because literally we can't do shit unless we fucking sign up for the draft.
Women can.
It's a free line.
I mean, it's tough to talk about this without saying anything that's out of my own care.
But fucking whatever.
I don't fucking know.
But it's like it's like I don't necessarily think that women should be front line fighters, but I do think that they should be able to be in the military because think about it.
We as a guy, you get captured.
What's the worst thing they're going to do to you?
They're going to torture you.
They're going to fucking like kill you, whatever you can do.
Just going to kill you.
It's not.
Yeah.
But for women, if you're a fucking woman soldier and you get captured by a fucking savage group of fucking like of our enemies, they could do awful, awful things.
I mean, well, these days, I mean, it's kind of like anything goes.
Yeah.
So it's like as a guy, it might not be any better.
Like at least maybe just what they're looking for.
More about fucking.
It'd be more of like it would be more of like a like a psychological warfare thing, like sending videos back to like the fucking states of like them doing that shit because like they do that to the guy.
They'd be like, that's kind of weird.
That's already kind of going on.
Yeah.
But then you do it to like women and shit.
They're like problematic.
Yeah.
But like to a guy, they'd be like, I didn't know they're gay.
That's not very tough.
Let's talk about this Israeli hospital bombing where they.
That was debunked.
Yeah.
It wasn't real.
Yeah.
Hamas.
In a parking lot.
It was another jihad group in Palestine.
There's just a bunch of fucking stupid shit.
It wasn't even Hamas.
It was.
Well, this is what they say, allegedly, that it was a different, a small terrorist group that's not Hamas.
Yeah.
A splinter cell.
Yeah.
What is this fucking Metal Gear Solid?
They shot this rocket.
Yeah.
But I also heard the theory that basically Israel missed or the rocket's malfunction.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
They interviewed Biden on Air Force One, right?
And he's like, oh, Israel and Palestine, they got a lot of missiles that don't work.
Right.
And he's like, they probably.
That's Joe Biden.
Are you going to listen to Joe Biden?
Yeah.
Yeah, but I got ice cream over there.
That's why I'm going.
But I was watching the news.
I was watching news.
They were implying.
Hey, Grandpa, let's get you back in bed.
They were implying that Israel did it and that they basically missed their target and it landed on a hospital.
Yeah, because Joe Biden's a fucking idiot.
It actually got debunked.
The geographical location of where it got shot from was in Palestine.
They triangulated where it came from and the trajectory of it.
It came from somewhere in Palestine and then what?
Now there's a bunch of.
Let me do this, Casey.
So the missiles that they have are fucking garbage in Palestine.
And so do you know how a missile works?
Casey, that's what Joe Biden said.
Do you know how do you know how missiles work?
We should draw a picture for Casey.
Do I look like a scientist?
It's like a tube with a cone on the tip and there's flames coming out of the back.
No, I understand that.
So Casey, listen, let me explain to you like a fucking retard.
OK, I want you to explain it to me like I'm five years old, five years old and autistic.
OK, yeah, so here's a missile.
OK, it's a big long cylinder with a point on it and there's a fucking there's a rocket on the back.
So what they're saying is they think because inside the missile is where the the the warhead is basically.
And the the the back that's on fire is just the payload system to kind of like get you to where you're going.
But the missiles in fucking Palestine are made so poorly that what they were actually thinking was the the the back of it.
That was like the ignition source, like the thing that was actually pushing it pushed through the actual casing of it,
then knocked it out of out of out of the sky and it made it go down into the hospital parking and it landed on a hospital.
Just incidentally. Yeah, OK, it's more Casey.
Yeah, it's more fucking Joe Biden pressed a button in that hospital was blown to smithereens.
Are you fucking kidding? It was actually a laser.
It's a laser opened up.
I believe this shit.
Well, why would he want to do that?
What's in it for him?
Palestinian deaths.
Why? Why would he want to do that?
Why would you because Israel's at war with Palestine and he wants to take over Palestine?
Basically, you know what they should he wants to have some influence in the Middle East.
Honestly, he wants to set up a base in Israel and my plan to fix this.
OK, it's no by its grand scheme.
This is retarded. This is not retarded.
Here's how you fix the situation.
They're having a hard time going in there without civilian casualties because they're all intermixed like they said that no, they're hiding behind civilians.
They're using human. They're using civilians as human shields.
And then they know our rules of engagement.
And because why do we have two fucking aircraft carriers in the because it's because we're about to bulldoze all exactly exactly.
And we're going to set up our carriers are probably just carrying.
It's going to be the United States down the fucking twenty five miles of coast.
Then the right or the other side and just push it into the house.
Dan, you're glowing today. You're fucking you are glowing glowing.
Yeah, you are fucking you are looking hot today.
Well, look, it's you can't help it.
I worked out, you know, no, but I think it's the teddy bear headphones missing the eyes.
The real serial killer. Yeah, he's wearing a fluff coming out of safety goggles.
Not to completely not to completely.
No, I like to not to completely subject though.
But well, well, well, I'm not done with this.
Oh, you're not. We're not done with this.
I have a plan. Joe Biden is fucking trying to set up a military base in the Middle East.
We say we say to Hamas for every woman and child you give us, we will give you one American M4 rifle.
OK, well, you hear me out. OK, I mean, let me finish.
We're up to M7s now, Dan. Are we? Yeah. OK.
M7s, whatever the newest one is, we'll give it to you.
OK, we're supposed to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll trade. We'll trade. Are these motherfuckers stupid?
They're going to give us guns. OK. Yeah.
So what they don't know is that the lowers are made out of plastic explosives.
OK, and they have GPS trackers in them. So you get as many of these guns in the hands of these terrorists as possible.
All right. So they're like these motherfuckers are so dumb.
They're trading this fucking gun. And then you get them all to convene the central location for like the biggest fight.
So, you know, that they're out of the civilian areas and you detonate the plastic explosive all at once.
And you eliminate like 30, 40 percent of fucking Hamas.
Not only that, you give them rifles. Even if you don't give it to them directly, you go through a back channel, through a fake group that can give them rifles and put GPS.
You know, we try. We're giving them one hundred million dollars.
Drogen horse. It would work to find out being a history book.
Yeah, just put RFID like trackers on the fucking GPS trackers in the boxes of ammunition.
Joe Biden said we're going to give Palestine, the civilians or the government, one hundred million dollars.
And if Hamas takes this, if they take it, it just shows that they don't care about the people and they won't be getting any more aid.
So they're basically Joe Biden's basically giving Hamas him one hundred million dollars.
He gave him six billion. That's how this happened.
Well, they gave what? Is that an actual game?
Casey, Casey, is that what you actually is that actually what you read or you used to making that shit up?
I saw a video of Joe Biden fucking way, saying we're going to give Palestine one hundred million dollars.
And if Hamas takes it, they're not getting any more.
What the fuck that doesn't make any sense.
They don't have a chance. You guys didn't read that.
No, no. Where the fuck did you read that? That was yesterday.
We've already been given the onion. No, I literally watched Joe Biden say it.
It's just as fucking stupid.
Where are we getting all this money? Just give away.
We just make money. Us, the taxpayers.
What the fuck? Listen, you just paid Hamas a hundred million dollars.
Well, no, but the reason that this happened is because all right, the United States.
This is why we significantly elected Joseph Biden as a fucking president.
If Trump was a goddamn president, Trump would be like.
I'm glad you started yelling because I was about to fucking pop off to.
If Trump was still the president.
I'm frustrated here is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. Hamas.
Terrible people. Terrible people. They don't know.
They don't like they don't like the Jews. I like the Jews.
Jews are very nice. Love them. Very nice people.
Hamas. Bad people. Bad. Worst. Worst people.
Don't like exactly how you would say it.
Exactly. You know what?
I love our lovely soldiers. Love them to death. Great soldiers. Best soldiers.
They are the very best because they are my soldiers and I would not have anything but the best soldiers.
Wonderful soldiers in America are on the coast of Israel.
Ready at moments. Notice.
He actually is doing this right now, by the way.
Yeah, I'm going to run this section through the AI generator later and put it through Trump's voice.
Best soldiers. We will send them in and it will be wonderful.
There will be no more Hamas. Two days. I guarantee it.
24 hours. 24 hours.
They will be wiped off the earth because we have the greatest military.
Wonderful. I put them together myself.
These are my handpicked fellows.
I actually saw that thing about buying on Fox News.
The guy was going off about it. He's like, yeah, fucking buy it.
Just gave this fucking Hamas a hundred million dollars to spend on fucking ammunition or whatever.
Yeah, but that's also Fox News. It's like so biased in one direction.
Exactly. Yeah, dude, the CIA is up to some shit.
They know what to do. You know, it's not going to be an issue.
But the problem is that while we're doing this.
So I heard this thing the other day.
I don't remember what podcast I heard it on, but it was a reliable source.
The guy said, oh, it was somebody who is in Trump's cabinet while we were fighting in Afghanistan.
The United States was actually running low on ammunition just from Afghanistan.
Oh, yeah, I think we talked about that last week where they were out of ammunition.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Jared Kushner. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.
So why do I keep hearing that guy's name? Who the fuck was Jared Kushner?
He was he's Ivanka Trump's husband. Oh, but yeah.
So if we were Donald Trump's wife's husband. Yeah.
No, Donald Trump's. Wait, what's his daughter? His daughter is Ivanka.
I thought his I thought his wife was a vodka. No, that's Melania Melania and me, bro.
Come on. We got the book right here. No, no, his ex-wife, though.
One. Yeah, that's where I came from.
Yeah, but if we were spread thin just from Afghanistan, like how are we going to take on fucking Russia?
Well, now I don't think we were spread China and Iran. It's like necessarily spread thin Russia.
We have a shit ton of fucking personnel, but they none of them were deployed literally like if you were in the military and
like you have like because I think it's I think it's three years like active or and one year like reserve type thing.
If you're still on reserve, they can pull your ass right back in.
And there's a shit ton of people like that. Well, my buddy's birthday is this Saturday.
So if he gets deployed to Hamas, I'm going to feel pretty bad.
Like it's a place. No, no, fucking Israel.
The group that you used to live with the Air Force one. Yeah.
Now he'd get pulled in a heartbeat. Yeah, man.
Been on a couple of rough deployments down there to fucking Antarctica.
You might get a knock on your door. There's actually a lot of everybody.
Well, they probably will literally April.
I'm good. Just make it to April and I'm good. Why?
Because I'll be 26. Oh, yeah.
They just make it to April. I fucking like I want to go to school.
Huh? Yeah.
So how would you like to get some good clinical time?
Okay. Okay.
Real questions. You're now a doctor in Israel.
So real talk.
I'm going to be a mash in a week.
Real talk. Jesus Christ.
Military service. I fucking love to do it.
So military service, when you come back, you're automatically a paramedic.
They give you your certification because you are a combat medic.
Yeah. Would you do that? It kind of works that way.
No, but like, no, if that was like the actual case, would you take that?
Why? Just come back as a paramedic here?
Like you have to go to war, but when you come back, I'm fucking got nineties in my class right now.
I just got to wait a little while. I think I just go to war.
I'd want if we had a legit world war, I'd fucking love to serve in it.
I know I'd probably fucking die, but you're not going to see me running away from that.
I like Ali Mac. No, it's just like one of those all time movies.
He's got the picture of his girlfriend in his pocket.
He takes a round and he's like, he's like turning all pale and he's bloody.
The picture is all fucked up and he's got like the funny like fingerprint on it.
You got to get this door and door out.
Two guys in suits show up to your mom's door and she starts crying.
No! She collapses onto her knees as she opens the front door.
And then like it's like us four just in a fucking foxhole, Ali Mac just gets fucking obliterated.
We're like, no!
Camera pans over to my girlfriend with a pregnant drug test.
Drug test.
We are the ones that have to go and fucking give the fucking like flag.
We'd be like, do you like the hat down?
Put the hat down and be like, no, mom better give me a final call.
That's what I give a fuck about.
I fucking poured my heart and soul into that shit hole for two and a half years.
And while it doesn't sound like a lot of time, it felt like it.
I want a fucking final call there.
I want fucking Jomo to do it.
How long did you work there?
Two and a half years.
Two and a half?
Well, that's about the time I was full time.
Well, maybe even less than that.
But dude, I literally went down to one day a week.
So like I wouldn't get fired.
Literally like.
I feel like the more you work there, the more likely it is you'll get fired.
You know, you more or less you know, or less start working full time hours though.
Once you when you were like on breaks.
Yeah, yeah.
You'd come back and you'd be fucking pulling work weeks.
Me and Tyler were fucking maniacs.
I don't know.
72 hours every week, baby.
I have the one fucking screenshot of my two week pay period and there's like 15 different things on it.
Jesus Christ.
What am I doing?
Yeah.
Anyway, back to the final call.
So there's a there's a lot of Palestinian support actually.
Silly Palestinians.
Yeah, I think they're fucking stupid.
In America.
No, because they're fucking stupid liberals.
There's a lot of protests.
Because these goddamn fucking far left fucking retards decide that they're like, well, it's real.
So Israel is a colonizing force and I don't like it.
It really makes me sad.
And these fucking terrorists are actually right because they're freedom fighters.
Shut the fuck up.
That shit's wild.
They're fucking raping, they're raping and murdering children.
Hold on though.
I was watching something that's saying that the beheading of the babies was actually false.
That's not false.
It was actually propaganda.
It's not propaganda.
I don't know.
According to your fucking source, which is anti-Semitic.
I never said it was correct.
What's your fucking sources?
Hello, mix.
Yeah.
Al Jazeera.
Yeah.
It was just some news.
I believe that those fucking filthy pieces of shit over there are fucking raping and murdering
fucking women and children.
Casey coming under fire here in episode 52.
All I said was I heard it on the news.
You fucking are saying this shit just to fucking piss me off.
Forty beheaded babies.
I never even said it was true.
You fucking say this shit all the fucking time just to piss us off, Casey.
It is Casey O'Neill versus the world right now.
Jesus Christ.
You're a goddamn living fucking motherfucker, Casey.
I swear to fuck.
I can't wait till you're raped and murdered, Casey.
How's it going to feel when you're the one getting a dick in your asshole and then you're
getting your head cut off on live TV?
When you get mad in your arms, just go like this.
Casey, God damn it.
What are you talking about, Casey?
Jesus Christ.
I see the autism fucking laughing.
Straight down.
You look like an upset 10 year old in a Disney movie.
Listen, mom, I said don't come in my room.
I think both sides are committing war crimes and both sides are playing.
We're partnered with one of those sides and we're joining up in the fight with one of
those sides.
That sounds a little anti-Semitic to me, Casey.
What?
That they're both war criminals.
They just killed 36,000 Americans.
If it was like based on population, they killed the equivalent of 36,000 Americans.
But they didn't kill 36,000 civilians that are dying off with percentage of pop no.
Yeah.
Absolutely killing that many people.
It would be like 30 times.
It would be like them coming here and killing 36,000 people.
It would be like them coming here and killing 36,000 people
That's what percentage of the population of Israel they killed compared to the US what they didn't kill
36,000 people 1000 people right so the United States based on population
It would be as if they came to the US and killed 36,000 people sure
Yeah, I see what you're saying what do we have fucking 3000 and three thousand nine eleven. Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Look where that that got us. It wasn't quite a world war, but it was a fucking war
There's civilians that are being killed on both sides right and we went killed 50,000 people
I think 50,000 innocent people died in our
Whatever you call that 20-year war in the Middle East well when the United States and Israel going in invade Gaza
There's still gonna be civilians there. I get killed by the United States right
so man this seems this feels like a lot more like Mogadishu than it does like the starting of World War three
Oh good, because it's been going on forever. Yeah, Mogadishu is just like
It's just a fucking mess like the Mogadishu fucking mile. That's more what this feels like
Can you describe what that is a little bit?
When they went into Mogadishu the black story of Black Hawk Down happened during the Battle Mogadishu in Africa and their third thing
So I know I know we're on this fucking war shit, and it's real sad
but I
Think I wanted to just bring up this real quick. We'll come back to the Battle Mogadishu. Yeah, I'll definitely put a pin in that please
What the fuck is up with women and thinking serial killers are like super attractive
Like can we like talk about that for a second? I'm obsessed with serious
It's like a problem like fucking like the chicks. They're like oh my god Jeffrey Dahmer and the night stalker and shit
They're really hot Mike. They fucking just murdered like 30 people yeah, but I think that's just because of the way like the media depicts them
They're not saying like oh, I want to fuck him. There's no like daddy fuck
Yeah, but if that dude was within fucking a mile of them. They'd be like oh fuck
Like why the fuck do like these like like these these I'm not like other girls are like I like serial killer documentaries
It's a psych okay. I mean I like him, too
Yeah, but like they're like man. He's really hot actually that one with fucking Zac Efron though
I hated how they portrayed him
He's the whole movie like if you didn't know the story you could have watched that whole fucking movie and not known
He killed anyone yeah
I was gonna try and unzip your boo. That was a problem
Like is it like a like a thing it's like they think the actor is hot or like or is it like the no like even
Like like the like Richard Ramirez like when they just see like actual pictures of dude that guy was fucked up that dude was fucked
But they're like he's really hot. It's like he smelled like a goat and you could smell when he was in the room. He said now I'm back
What the fuck?
Go like fuck do you?
Do like I have to try to smell like there's a there's like an actual thing that like is is weird to me with
like
serial killers, I think like women are just like attracted to like
Really fucked up individuals sometimes they like bad boys. I think yeah, I think to a certain extent
I think it's that bad boy thing to an extreme the bad boy is like it's like yeah
What's worse than a murderer actually right this probably right and also somebody who makes them feel wanted
Wanted to the point that they'll kill them and yeah, right in a basement right?
Because it's all about them. Yeah, it's like a hundred percent
It's like a hundred percent. Okay, that's a little weird, but I get what you're saying. Yeah, I've honestly dance kind of pretty good
It's like your your girls like trying to get your attention right while you're like playing videos
Something like you're in my basement forever because I wanted right it's like a hundred percent of the focus is on that
Give my girlfriend like a half hour back or about like pull out my phone while I'm still right
open clash of clans and she's like
Here we fucking go
Fucking kidding me like fucking chill out for a second. All right, like look I love you but like fuck off
Yeah, I've mastered like the one-handed. Oh, yeah
Backroad because so I can still use my phone in the other
Exactly. Yeah, it's skill. Honestly, it takes time to develop that so boring
Sometimes you gotta like swap the phone with the other hand. Yeah, you like lean on your side like fucking do it that way
Well, you got your phone here
Jesus
Yeah, but
boy
What I've been I've been keeping this fucking we were on the Hamas shit
So I didn't want to fucking kind of sidetrack it but we're getting sad again when we're getting sad
I want to talk about the cat that got 9-1-1 called on it. Oh
Let's hear it. So I'll play with this stuff. I'll play that the 911 call for you. It's really funny
The guy so this cat
Scratched the baby like not like, you know, like hospital worthy scratch
But like scratch the baby and when they took the baby away from the cat
The cat just started attacking the whole family and they barricaded themselves in a room and you could hear you could hear the cat in
the background going
Behind the door and I get scratching the door. He's like I I can't leave my room the cat the cat is the cat's out there
The cats out there. Oh my god.
Dude cats can be violent
Yeah, some cats are just born to be assholes like my mom's cats that way fucking grew up in a house
You just fucking walk around a corner and she'd be like
Like you're fucking bleeding like it's not like it's just a little play slap. It's like, oh, thank you
We named her Mildred. It is the most fitting name
Dude, we just got a third cat
Yeah, here it is. We had to get rid of it because our other cat was stalking it
Just waiting to fucking kill it like dude, literally this thing would wait outside of my office door. I kept it in
No, no, it's like the same age as all my other cats
But it would my other cat would wait outside the door just waiting to slip in dude all day all day
Just outside the door like just waiting to kill this fucking man
Yeah, and it's like it got to it once or twice and she got almost got her eye
Like she just got her fucking eyelid, but she wanted to kill this cat so bad
That's fucking we had to get rid of it because it was just damn so I found I found the cool story
I
Had that chap and when fucking mom moved in with her boyfriend when it was in high school that same
Asshole cat stayed in my room and we honestly got chill like we would I wouldn't pet her but like she wouldn't fuck me up
Like we were cool at this point
I thought uh, no she would stay at that door cuz the boyfriend had two cats here and they were just sweet
Boyfriend's an asshole
The door
No, no, you just got scratched on his forehead but the cat we don't know what to do about the cat he's gone
He's trying to attack us
very very very very hostile
I try to hold the animal control
Yeah, yeah, we got the bedroom to let the police and I'm gonna have to fight the cat
That's a pretty big fucking cat
Dude you're fine
You punt it down the hallway, that's it's a cat that's a 22 pound cat
That's like a fucking like small like Bob cat like dude
I got bit by a fucking nine pound cat
Six times right and I had to let it go because it was like too much right like after like like the fifth or sixth bite
I'm like, okay, you fucking win. So the thing is I have a leather jacket in my room
So I put the leather jacket on and I have like a pair of gloves in there that are leather gloves, too
So I'd be like, all right, did you just run and slam the door if it's a big cat like
Yeah, so I'm stuck in my bathroom
There's a cat like what do I do?
Dude, you sound like a fucking idiot
I'm like a pussy
Dude, if I get a fucking if I get like zone to east first call medic ambulance a alpha response
For a male who states he's stuck in his bathroom and he's worried his cats gonna scratch him
I'd be like, are you fucking joking? Right? All right, let's put the fire gear on. Let's go get him
Yeah, dude
I did when I had to get my cat back is I took an extension cord and shoved it down a pipe
So it made a loop on the other end and then I got it around its neck
So just like the fucking animal control. Yeah, and did I tell this story? No, but that sounds funny
Yeah, so this cat was like like once it realized what a felines over
Just wrangling felines, but dude, they like did that all its fucking ninja moves trying to get out
I was like, yeah, what's it realized it wasn't going anywhere cuz I had it by the neck gave up. Oh, I got you motherfucker
Yeah, cuz I don't think a cat could bite through fire here at all
No, no your cat couldn't fucking bite through anything. So it'd be funny
Just like a bunch of like firefighters go to it's not like these cats have talons
They have fucking sharp claws like they might give you like a little super
See a mean coon those things are fucking yeah, this sounds like yeah, he said a Himalayan
Yeah, him. I look up a 22 pound Himalayan. That's a big fucking
Still though if I have a fat ass cat, that's 11 pounds
I'm just saying you can't be worried for your life in that situation like
You're gonna be able to make it to your door. Like it's not like you're I think I would just go out of one
Oh, that looks like a pussy. Let's see
Look at that fucker. He looks like he's a piece of look at these fuckers
That doesn't look like you could fucking fuck up anything. Oh, there's a flat face cat. Yeah
That is a fucking house cat
But 22 pounds is fucking
Bro, I'm just telling you you fucking kick the thing like
If that things coming at me like a menace all that
Please kicked a well-placed kick to the rib cage and it's not gonna bug anybody. Listen, listen
If my cat attacked my kid, I would kill the cat. I wouldn't kill the cat
I'd probably fucking be mad at the kid for fucking bopping it on its nose
So the man a Maine coon those things are fucking you ever see a Maine coon? Yeah, I'd fucking you know
My buddy and okay my buddy for my firehouse got scammed out of the Maine coon. Yeah, I know
I know those things he paid a thousand dollars for one for this dude off a Craigslist
Craigslist the address it was a parking lot. I just don't know you guys are talking about cats or something. Yeah
So Ali back the the guy who invented the ghost pepper and the Carolina Reaper
Invented a fine one. He has like ten more pepper X. Yeah, it's what 2.6 million Scoville
What's it called now? Are you holding it? No, no
I ordered some pepper X bar sauce though hot sauce that we're gonna try
You know, okay, I haven't eaten the Reaper yet. Even you know to eat the Reaper. You don't fear the Reaper Casey
Do you know that Maine Coons are actually like hunting cats like you can like use them for hunting imagine?
Yeah, did you want to some fucking crazy?
Bloodhounds have been used since the Middle Ages
Yeah, bloodhounds have been like a right like they're called bloodhounds because they had actually tracked people down by their blood
Yeah, if they're bleeding, yeah, they could smell the blood and say the blood
I this was one of my little fucking ADD research is like the thing where you're like, well, who's the president of Uruguay?
It's like that
I just woke up and it was like I was just like dude
How the fuck does a bloodhound work you look into it those things?
I can't remember the part of your brain that has it but like humans have like 10 million and most dogs have like 20
million a bloodhound is 33 million like
Of these sensory glands for it. So they just like smells like the meat
They're like a super nice dog
But they just fucking they they're a super difficult dog to train because they smell anything and they just get to
Distracted they just start chasing like Shepherds are what we use now most of the time
Well, that's just as a police dog cuz they're good at fighting but they can also sell
They they can but they're good for like tracking. They're not good for tracking. They're good for like
item identification like bombs or drugs and shit
Yeah, they're only gonna use a bloodhound for like tracking cuz dude the fucking record I saw which is not a very happy story
it was like
350 hours after this like family that got murdered in Colorado got lost
This fucking bloodhound just tracked it off a road like two and a half miles to some field. Yeah
I had like over a week. I'm not just humans had that sense of smell. Yeah fucking nuts
Yeah, like they're like, oh, yeah, here's a fucking dirty sock of the wife. It's like yeah bad
Be back. Yeah, I think I smell something three quarters of a mile away from here
I'll find them like I always think about that
Like what if humans had like the smell of like dogs like how shitty would the world be cuz you could smell like a dumpster
from here
Like there's a dumpster down the street. I think there'd be way less of us. I
Don't think people would want to live like an apartment complex. No, no, it'd be like we've spread out way more
Yeah, you'd want to live far enough away from somebody but you wouldn't want to know that they were yeah
like if somebody was like if somebody was like having like a campfire like fucking like a half mile away, you'd be like
Someone's out of campfire dude. I'm just picturing like a Khajiit from Skyrim, right?
The weird elf ears because these are fucking assholes
Mike says that I have good deals
Fuck you Mike. Get out of here. Oh that game. It's like, what do you want to play?
It's like you can play as a witch and elf a human and or like you can play as like
You can play as a lizard if you want
He can breathe underwater which you don't need for anything no, but if you want to be a lizard you can
You want to be a cat person go ahead be a cat person. You can be a vampire
You can do this who fuck picks a fuck. We lost Dan and Casey here. Oh, yeah, dude. I'm sorry
I was getting off on my bed
You guys fight in the war enough about me getting drafted who's coming over with me me
Yeah, Casey are you fucking coming? Yeah, are you coming over?
Yeah, are you coming over you're gonna fucking fight in the water you're gonna stay home
I'm not gonna kill anybody
Worth it to me that's like, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah instead of just like getting burnt out in the back of a fucking shitty
Feel like such a pussy when it's like your girls just like oh, did you hear like my my girlfriend's boy?
Like husband just went away to war and he got blown up and you're sitting at home. Yeah, it's like the new cyberpunk
DLC playing the scarface video game on my ps2. Oh
She's like glad I married a man
Can I get you another beer honey, you want me to order you some nachos from down the street you fat fuck
Actually, I think Dan's the only one that actually be able to meet the the army standard right now for what?
Yeah, but if they go to a draft though, yeah, they're not gonna give a fuck about my ear
Wait for the army are you yeah, I'm I'm 200 pounds I can only be 185 pounds
We'll get that sorted out quick just don't just don't give a fuck about the ketones
What a farley you're good farley's probably going over dude farley
He's in some fucking black op right now behind enemy lines. He's planting the fucking
Like shore of Gaza just waiting
He's probably already there
Look Dan's gonna go a little early
So before before you go of Dan we gotta we gotta get a rematch
Let me just let me crack another now you wanna know I forget him now
Do this my least favorite time of the week?
That's saying something I fucking hate my job. I come here, and this is the most painful thing
Hey, Alex. Just when you let's kick you while you're down get smoked in jeopardy
Welcome back to the 10th week in a row
We got your three-time returning chairman and the vitamin man and still
Searching for his first win
I know I got fans out there. I just want to let you guys know I'm always gonna go all in
We can't even get smelling salts anymore. We can't get our punishment feeling the smelling sauce
He's hoarding them
This is fucking unconstitutional
All right
This is a deputy you each have a category that we each have a category that we know a lot about
What you guys got you got a category
So space jam
Your category it's about space
We got automobiles that's probably spooktober
Yeah, yeah music theory
US military
I'm gonna be about as clueless as I as always Tyler you can have first pick
Let's do spooktober spooktober 200 emf stands for this
I said what is first what I said what is that?
Field first I knew it. I shut up because you two were both saying it. I wasn't gonna fucking get any points
Wait electromagnetic field. That's what it is. I thought it was electromagnetic frequency. No, it's field you fucking retard
Like we get a fact check on that before we award points cool if they stayed at zero
Let's go magnetic field I know I think they're right
Go have these Dan. Yeah, let's go
All right
Tyler you can pick spookies
For 400 this famous magician died on Halloween
That's correct
Yeah, I mean we both said but he said faster
How do you back spec? Fuck it. Let's let's kick off some space dreams, bro space jam number of planets in our screen. What's a?
Answer the question what's eight? Okay fucking turn turn it like this a little bit. Okay. There you go
I can't fucking see it. You're like this. You're sitting back in the seat. You gave him points for that? Yeah. Well I can't see the fucking there's no answer on the fucking screen
We're getting we can't even win the systems against us. No points. No, that's points for that. I can't see the fucking answer
No, you couldn't see the answer. You saw the question early. No, I didn't I can't fucking read that far
I can't fucking see it. No, you're looking at the screen, bro. I look this is straight ahead, retard
This is the second episode you've been accused of this
How do you sit here and look at my fucking angle you can't see shit
I don't want to sit in that fucking seat. That's a cheater's seat. I don't think Tyler's ever won from cheating to be honest
I think he just fucking knows this shit
200 points for Tyler. Thank you
You said no, boy
We have no fucking
That's fucking bullshit. I'm playing this game under protest. There will be a written complaint placed to the league
Pick a category
600 Halloween originated in this country, but it's America. What is Hungary?
What is Germany?
What is Mexico? What's England?
What is Ireland?
Ireland
Ireland? Yes
Fuck you
Really? Yeah. Wow, I never would have guessed that
Tyler's big
I thought it was America, but yeah Ireland that makes sense
We gotta cut the timer off
We all guessed like seven times
We'll be spooky boys
Jesus Christ. Spooky boys for 800
I should get half credit because I said land
Country lands and land
I agree with that. Give me the points
This was the first city investigated on the original Ghost Adventures documentary
What is Salem?
What is
Fuck
Goldfield
What is Sleepy Hollow?
Dude, is the Goldfield Hotel in fucking
Virginia City
Yeah, I know
Virginia City, Nevada
Yeah, I knew
I didn't say a word
For a thousand, this monster
Shares its name with a popular yard
tool
What is the rake?
That's one thousand dollars
You give him one thousand
dollars for that question
You got your own category, Pick a
Miller category. War
US military for 200
Bloodiest battle of the American Civil War
What is Gainsburg? Motherfucker
Dude, I can't even
It pops in my head by the time he's finished answering
Tyler's big
I knew that one
You have earphones?
I'm telling the headphones
War
US
US military, the first battle of the American
Revolution took place in this state
What is Massachusetts?
Massachusetts
Dude, it is the headphones
Get these things off
Get them off of me
Fuck, yeah
The music is distracting
Give me some space jams, bro
For 400
Closest galaxy to the Milky Way
What is the Andromeda Galaxy? Fuck
What the fuck
I said Andromeda
How did you know that?
It's fucking super easy
It's the closest one
It's also a video game
We'll go space jams again
Number of moons on Mars
What is three?
What is five? What is four? What is two?
What is two?
That was me
I said that first
Who said that first?
I only heard Ali Max say that
That was fucking me
Rewind that real quick
We'll fucking replay it
If we want to replay it back
I don't think that is me
After official review
The ruling of the field
has changed, Dan gets the points
Okay
I don't think I should get it
Automobiles
200, name of the first
mass produced automobile
That was me
Ali Max
Alright
Let's just finish off
Space Jam
Number of Earths that can fit inside the sun
What is
What is 300
What is 500
What is 3000
What is 350
That's going to be Ali Max
That would be
1.3 million
That's why I was going with a safe pick
I was like no
I'm pretty sure this is like a ridiculously
high number
And you guys are all in the hundreds
Damn
I was thinking a Jupiter
You could fit a couple hundred
Earths in there
That's how big that fucking planet is
Alright give me, wait, we have any space jam?
Yes, for a thousand
This planet has sideways rings
What is Uranus? Uranus
Yeah it is Uranus
I was thinking rings and I'm like no Uranus does
War
US at war
For 600
What 600? Yeah
Something like that I don't know
Okay, where the fuck
Whatever is the next highest
Oh my stupid fucking computer
Are you high
Sorry, this is daily double
You got 3100
How much does everybody else have
Ali Max has 2200
Dan has 700
I'll do 300
Name of the toxic
Herbicide commonly used during
The Vietnam War
What is Agent Orange
I didn't even listen
To the first step of the question, I gotta get my
Hat in the game
US at war
For 800
Number of aircraft carriers the US has currently
What is 7?
What is 8? What is 9?
What is 10? What is 11? What is 12?
11
You can't do that
Dude I think you should be able to
He just thought of going by number before
We did, we could all do it
And I'm sure if we were all
Guessing numbers Casey would ding it
He would not allow that, but we let him
Get away with it
The first modern car
Was invented in 1886 by this
German engineer
What is Porsche
He said
German
Oh what is fucking
Who is
Who is Dimer Benz
Carl Benz
Fuck
I knew it
Automobile
600, this chemical
Is the main component of gasoline used
In the internal combustion engine
What is ethanol? He says benzene
Oh what is alcohol? What is carbon?
Wait wait wait no no no
He timed it
He did not let that go longer
I think he got this
What is hydrocarbon
It's a hydrocarbon
What is
What is crude oil
Dang it dang it
What is crude oil
What is octane
We didn't know
I wouldn't have gotten that
Automobile
In these two states it was illegal
To fill up your own tank up at the
Gas pump in California
What is New Jersey
What is New Jersey in Rhode Island
What is New Jersey
In California
Until 2023
What is New Jersey in New Hampshire
Now he cares
That would be New Jersey
In Oregon
I fucking knew it was Jersey
We've all been to Jersey
None of us have gone to fucking Oregon
How the fuck am I supposed to know
We're not fucking Judy from Cyberpunk
Jesus Christ
Think I'm going out there to fucking crack a crisp
IPA on a mountain
I'm not a fucking hipster
Can fucking go to the Catskills they're down the road
Dance pick
A thousand
Airbags first came out in this decade
What is the 1950s
What is the 1960s
What is the 1970s
What is the 1930s
What is the 1920s
What is the 70s
What is the question
That airbags came out in what decade
I didn't even hear the question
He's going down by decades
Music theory
Potent potables
US military
200
This is how James Bond likes his martinis
What is James shaking up stairs
I stopped myself because I didn't say what is
I said shake it
He did
What is Tyler
Goddamn
War for a thousand
ISIS stands for this
Islamic State
Assholes
The Islamic State
I just know it's the Islamic State
There's something
Islamic State
How do we not know this
I just heard them be called the Islamic State
They are called that
You know something Islamic State
Islamic State of Iraq and Syria
Oh fuck them
I didn't know that
I never heard that
You'd think we'd know that
That's a pretty big deal to know
Potables
400
These are added to a drink to make it more bitter or bittersweet
What is bitters
I don't even know what those are
They're in old fashion
Yeah they're good
600
THC stands for this
Tetrahydrocannabinoid
Oh yeah
Get that fucking cat out of here
Damn
Potable
800
There's a bubble
We got 3500
I'll wager
The head drone's gotta go back on
I'll wager 400
Alright
This liquor is used in a mojito
What is gin
No it's Dan's daily
What is gin
I wouldn't take his guess
Mojitos
That's something Spanish
So what is tequila
That would be rum
I knew it was either gin or rum
I knew it was a three letter one
Fuck
Dan's pick again
No bro margarita is tequila
Potable's
Again
Another one
We got a wager
3100
I'll do 200
Try and win some back
This drink popular in medieval times
Is made by fermenting honey
What is made
It was a daily double for him
You fucking retard
I got my points back
Alright Dan's pick
Bro this isn't fair
You made me smoke this shit
That makes me forget where I am
And you expect me to have short term memory
Fuck
I fucking hate this
Music theory
200
A quarter note gets this many beats in common time
What is four
One
A quarter note gets this many in a fucking
A quarter note bro
God damn
I don't remember any of that shit
I'll be back for 400
I don't know shit about music theory
The number of sharps in the D major scale
I don't fucking know
What is five
What is four
What is two
What is one
That was my technique
Hold on
I want you fucking
I wanna hear it
I wanna fucking hear it
You only get one challenge per game
You actually lost your challenge
Because you threw the red flag
You get two challenges per game actually
600
This chord is comprised of the notes C, E, and G
What is a C chord
Oh yeah
That was good
That was clear
800
This term means to sing a phrase using different notes than the lead vocals
What is a
What is a melody
What is a harmony
Harmony
He says harmony
That's another word for harmony
You can't fuck
There's no such word as harmony
Look it up
I'm looking this up
Yeah baby
That is not a word Ali-Beg
I don't think you're spelling it right
Tyler's pick for a thousand
Last one
Dan, why are there just pictures of cats on your phone
I thought you were looking this up for me
I was like I had 25 pound cats
Harmonym
I don't believe Casey
That's not a word
Hold on a sec
I'm gonna play your song
Damn, I got that Bootswirl one
Let me get my Microsoft Explorer real quick
Ali-Max
Pick for a thousand
Wait, I got money
No, it's my pick
Doesn't matter, last one
Number of notes in a chromatic scale
What is eight
He says eight
What is nine, what is ten, what is eleven, what is twelve, what is thirteen
What is twelve
You can't do that
Number one's don't count
Anybody can do it
You just have to be the first one to do it
Dan, you're a fucking retard
Tyler, I never said that you can do it either
Yeah, I'm doing it, Dan's doing it
It's the new thing
Get with the fucking program
We go to Final Jeopardy
Dan's got 4900
Tyler's got 4800
Wait, what's the score?
Dan's got 4900
Tyler's got 4900
Dan's got 4900
Tyler's got 4800
Ali-Max got 2800
Damn
Casey, I'm not going to text you
I'm going to go all in
I'm just going to announce that
Everybody knows it already
The category is about music
Alright, let's put the fucking music questions here
Wait, I gotta text you my answer, right?
My phone is dead
Over there, like last episode
Come type it in
No, you can say it first
No, because then they'll see your answer
We'll send it in and then you can say it
No
Here, go ahead, send it in on mine
I don't give a fuck what you put
Last time I just typed it on his computer
I did the same shit last episode
Alright
Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo
Dan's got a wager
Tyler's got a wager
Alright, the question is
This music originated in the
Deep South in the 1860s
In the Deep South in the 1860s
Alright, Ali-Max, you gotta type your answer
I'm thinking
Brother, you gotta give me a minute
Wait, 1860s?
Well golly gee, Moses
Do I have to put what is fine?
I'll put what is
I would
Because you'd fuck me with that
Because I'd get it right
And you'd be like, well actually
I was kinda torn between two things
But I think it's this one
Oh, okay
Uh, alright
We got our answers
Dan says
What is bluegrass?
He went all in
Down to zero, Dan
Ali-Max says what is the blues?
That's correct
He went all in
Ali-Max, you got
5600
Dude, he won, look at him, he's already smiling
Tyler says
What is the blues? He's all in
God damn it
Tyler wins
No, I got it right by his
Oh, but I knew that wasn't like an oh my god
Tyler wins again
Tyler wins
Tyler, this is your 10th win
Ah, big big victory
What do you feel were the most crucial elements of the game today?
Um, just winning, you know
Just winning
How do you plan to keep up with winning streak, Tyler?
I just don't lose
I wake up and I piss greatness
You heard it here, folks
Just don't lose
I can't believe it
I knew the Uranus question, that was a thousand dollars
That'd be the blues
The blues comes from the deep south
Dude, I never would have guessed that
Dude, I was thinking that or rock and roll
But then I was like, wait, what was that one
That one fucking black dude who was making the music
No, I was actually
Did you go all in? Yeah
I was thinking it was either that or jazz
But I'm like, I think
Bro, you shouldn't have guessed that
It's a good answer
What?
What is that? 9800?
Moral victory
Ali Mack, you have the final jeopardy
You just didn't have the points
I know, because I fucked up Uranus question
If I got that, the game would have gone different
I would have won if I just got that
I knew it and I said Saturn
Alright, we're gonna take a break
I'm tired of the podcast
Ali Mack is getting closer
I've been close down to the final jeopardy
Like four episodes
You're just in that dragon
That'll sleep on me
I fucking go all in every time
And just because I either, I just get shitty luck
I fuck up the final jeopardy when I can win it
And when I get it, it ain't enough
Just keep chasing that dragon, Ali Mack
Keep chasing that dream
Alright, we'll take a break, we'll be back
Fucking unicorns
Untitled Podcast
Welcome back to Untitled Podcast
I can't hear you
This week, we should all dress up
Wait, is next Thursday Halloween?
It's the week of Halloween
Like Halloween
Oh
We're back on episode 52
Oh shit, no, I meant to say Sunday
Welcome back
This is gonna come as a surprise to no one
But I will not be in attendance
Next week?
Unfortunately
It's like a
I know this sounds like a stupid
Flake Reef
But it's like a way bigger
Turnout than we usually get
But there's um
The Bills are Thursday Night Football
I'm not a Bills fan
But Cece, my dad, my mom
My brother
And like a bunch of my friends
Including Sameer and his girlfriend
And like Cece's best friend from her class
My buddy Brian
We're all going to McGuire's
So I'm gonna be tied up with that
I can't really not show up to that
My buddy Jimmy and Michelle
I don't even like the football team
But it's just like
I'm gonna be a dick if I don't show up to that
I gotta be there
Well it's better than my girlfriend
What's that?
She's a Steelers fan
Oh that's tough
That's really tough to deal with
I mean because her dad
Is a Steelers fan
And she doesn't really know much about football
So she likes the Steelers
Oh god, that's the worst type of person
And I'm like, god damn it
But like I like
I like the Giants
They suck, but at least I've been a Giants fan my whole life
Yeah, Cece knows how to
Follow a game
She knows enough about football
That she understands stats
She can play fantasy football and stuff
But like she
There will just be times where like a penalty
Will be in and she'll be like, what the fuck
When it's like that just like
Made a huge difference in the benefit
Of your team and she's like, oh okay
She's like, yeah come on bro
Emily doesn't know
Didn't know what a first down
Oh yeah, no Cece gets that
They didn't know what the sticks were
She's like, what are the sticks
And why they keep moving, I'm like so
Okay
Yeah
One day she popped off at me
And she was like, how the fuck do you know every single
Rule, like why is it that I'm always
The dumbass when we watch these games, I'm just like
Have you ever heard of Madden
Like I've spent many an hour playing
Video games
Emily for me, she's like, I know you know
Every rule because you fucking played for 13 years
And I'm like, yeah, so playing football
For 13 years will also help you know the rule
I always just played street
If I have one regret from high school
I wish I could have been
On the football team, like it's just stupid
I fucking hated all the preppy ass kids
At my high school that were on the team
Like I could have done it
All I did with my friends was just play
Like fucking pick up football
And we just like, I had good hands
I wasn't like a super
I probably, I wasn't tall enough
To be a QB
But like I had good decision making
What class was your school
Was Gillerland B
Or C? I didn't go there
Oh you didn't? But no
I don't know where
I don't know what Bethlehem
Exactly was, but Bethlehem
Bethlehem was playing like
Yeah, you're not going to go to the NFL or anything
But like there were scouts at games
A handful of times, I'm not saying I ever would have gone
To the NFL or anything, I just wish I could have done it for the experience
Cause it was just like we played
Shen and like
We played Shen and CBA
And like they would
Usually stomp us
But the years I was in high school
For the first time in like a decade
We were beating them
And it was like, damn
Like fuck, I'd really like to be on that team
I feel like that would be a huge part of my childhood
Like even though I fucking hated the kids on the team
I'm sure if I was on the team I wouldn't hate them
Like I'd be friends with them
I mean because I played football
From 5 years old to 18
Yeah
And I fucking
The thing was though
Football was the only thing that I did
In high school, like I did boxing too
But that's a U sport
It's not like a team sport
But like the only team sport that I actually played
Was football, cause I played baseball when I was a kid
Obviously like most
Boys do
I played basketball for a couple
Of years, but football was like my main
Thing, but like
You're right, there is something
About playing high school football that you don't
Get with anything else in high school
Because like
It's just like, you look back on it
Like it's a defining moment
You're growing as a person that's a critical
Point in your life, and it's just a good experience
To have
I still talk to my friends that I played football with
I still do with the people I played
Baseball with, but I feel like football is something
Else though, just because it's such a contact sport
And like the thing is like
It got me reminiscing
Of being high school heroes here
But like I remember
Like my senior game
Which was, your senior game is like homecoming
Like everything that's mixed in the one
We had the biggest, because
It was a pretty big
Game, it was against Holy
Trandy, which is
Fucking Catholic High, Bishop
Givens, and some other schools
That are like together
But we were
We were doing that, it was our last
It was our last game at home
And I remember coming out because we had like a
Walkway, and we came out the walkway
The crowd, it was just a
Big ass crowd, and we'd walk down the stairs
And onto the field and get like warmed up and stuff
But like, to this day
I remember coming down that fucking like
Walkway, and like there's just like fucking
Like 400, 500 people
Just like all in like one little area when I
Was walking down, and then like
And then we went out there
We scored a touchdown on our first drive, and then
Like we just kept fucking going on there
And like, that whole game
It's just vivid in my memory because I remember
Coming down, and like everybody was just like
Fucking cheering and shit, and then we'd go out
Then we'd do the fucking captain shit
With me, and my
My three other dudes who were captains
We went out there, and then like
When I turned around, like after
The coin toss and stuff, I turned around and looked at the
Thing, it was fucking
Like fucking stupid high school movie
Shits, they were all fucking like chanting
For each captain, and like
But then everyone just started
Chanting for me, and I was like
This is fucking one of the coolest things that I've experienced
Like an entire, like
You felt like a gladiator when the entire crowd
Was like cheering like your name out there
And I was just like
They were like, and they were just going Tee Lee
Tee Lee, and I was like
I was like kinda like looking out, I'm like
Wow, and I'm like
All these people here are like
Cheering for me, and I'm like
That's fucking cool, cause like I would fuck it, and then I
Went out there and I sacked the quarterback
The first time that I was out on defense
And the entire fucking crowd went nuts, and I'm like
This is, I mean, is this what it feels like
To be like a fucking famous person, shit, like it feels
Fucking cool as fuck
My best sports memory
In high school was actually pretty sick
It was uh
So we weren't like in super organized
League or anything, like this wasn't the
High school team, though I did play on the high school
Team with this guy, he actually
I haven't looked him up in a while, but
He did get drafted
By some team
And he was in their minor league system
But my double play partner
So he played short stop
And pitcher, and I played second
And catcher, so
Whenever we played, I was
Usually second baseman, and he
Was usually short stop
So he was my double play partner
And we fucking just, I didn't
Get along with the kid in school, cause he was
One of those like popular kid types, like
That petty, not the petty, but like the fucking
Daddy's money, fucking people that I don't
Typically get along with
And that like the reason why I didn't want to be in high school
But this dude, he was fucking
We read
One another's minds
We were fucking short stop
And fucking
Second base, like we'd flip the ball behind our backs
To one another, like flip it with the glove
And stuff, like we were just a good team mentally
We were on the same page, and when he pitched
And I caught
Like it was fucking, like I know
Like it was a piece of shit, not a piece of shit
It was actually, I ended up being friends with him
But this kid fucking
Threw like 70 when we were playing
Babe Ruth, this kid was
This kid was like fucking the real deal
He had velocity, and that just kept
Going up, that's why he made the majors, he just
Threw so fucking fast, that's gonna be a sound bite
He throws like, dude
He pitched and I caught
Oh my god, shut the fuck up
Shut the fuck up, we're talking about sports bro
It's like it's not gay if I touch the center's balls
If I'm quarterback
Get that shit out of here, fuck off
But no, this fucking kid, like he throws like
99 now, that's why he got drafted
By one of the teams, but it's like
Dude, when I was catching for him
My fucking glove hurt so bad
Like I was calling his pitches for him
Like the two team captains
Yeah, so I was the team captain
That year, and like I wasn't a particularly
Good baseball player, so we're gonna
Alright, let me fast track this, I've given the background
So we're doing like a regional
Championship
Which is like a best of three, I played the first game
And then the second two games
I felt fucking sick as hell
Or some shit
I didn't play in the second games, I can't remember
Exactly what happened, but I wasn't able to
Maybe I went on vacation or some shit
But um
It was this team that we were respected
To get smoked by
Like completely fucking smoked by, can't even
Remember their name, but uh
So he was pitching
And I was catching, Casey there's your sound bite
But
The game was super fucking tight
He didn't have his stuff, and we like got off
Like losing pretty big early
And then like in the seventh inning
He got a hit
And like scored a couple runs, and then
Ninth inning comes up, he pitched
Really rock solid the rest of the game
They didn't take him out, he just kept fucking thrown
Because the dude was an animal
The last
It was literally like a fucking
Textbook scenario
Of a game
This is the most pressure I think I've felt
In my entire life
And it was fucking bottom of the ninth, two outs
Bases loaded, we're down by one
And I'm like
Fuck me bro
This fucking sucks
And I'm up to bat, I'm not a good hitter
I'm really good defensive at this point
As a catcher I could fucking throw
Anybody out that tried to steal on me
And I had a really good glove
And like I said, I got fucking
Dude that got drafted by MLB as my double play partner
Like he's fucking carrying some load for me too
I was not a good hitter
I batted like
Just under 200, pretty sure I was
The lowest on the team, still a captain
This is the catcher, the catcher pretty much
Always is, like keeping the guys together
Rally us up and shit
I was good at that
Fucking, I hit the weakest
Ground ball of my, no
Of my, sorry, the weakest
Pop fly of my entire life
The only reason
This ball touched the ground is because the other
Team had pinch hit their first
Basement and their second basement
And replaced them with their two fat fuck
Power hitters on the bench
So these two kids
Had like never played the positions
They were at before
Do you wanna see fat fucks?
Yeah, but dude they were big kids I mean
These were the kids that like, did they at least get a run?
So I got one run
We went to extras and then that fucking
Double play dude, I mean the
My double play partner guy, fucking shortstop
He hit like a home run, he hit Dinger
Yeah, nobody hits Dinger
Nobody hits Dinger at that point
The kids name is uh
My name's something and I hit Dinger
I don't wanna say his name
On here, no no no
I'm talking about like the video kid
I'll show you the guy cause like you can pull up his draft profile
And shit, but um
Like it was a fucking maniac
But it was like we advanced
And then like I can't remember I had school
Or something and my parents didn't take it seriously
God damn it
Yeah we won like the first two or three and then my parents
Were like yeah you're not going to like Puerto
Rico for these games
Yeah so I don't know how the fuck they expect
Your parents to afford that
Shit should not
During this time like when I was like cast on a football team
And stuff, I had piss yellow dyed
Hair, pierced the ears and I wore my
Chemical romance t-shirts with a letterman jacket
Over it. Dude I would have fucking hated
Your ass in high school. That was fucking funny as fuck
I would have made fun of you
Yeah and I would have kicked the shit out of you
You wouldn't have kicked the shit out of me but we would not
Have gotten along. We would have fought each other
No, we've uh I think there would just be
An unspoken agreement that we don't like
One another. Like we don't have to walk up
To one another and talk
We just know that's somebody I'm not going to get along with
That's my enemy. Yeah I'm going to keep
My distance from him. He ain't
My type of guy. I'm glad
I'm glad we found this common ground
But yeah I'm uh
The picture you're painting is not pretty
I was uh I do that
And I had fucking uh yellow dyed
Hair but like I was
An emo kid but also the captain of the football
Team which was a fucking weird
Combination. Yeah
Like I was as good at football
As captain of the team I was also
Fucking like listening to
My chemical romance and dying my
Hair and piercing my ears
That was a fucking fucking weird
Time. You sound like my brother
In high school. My brother so I was like
Kind of like the nerdy quiet kid
For most of high school until I got to high school
And I got off my focal length
And then I was like class clown. I was the nerdy kid until I got to high school
So I got to high school is what you just said
Oh no I was no I was like
I was an introverted kid. I didn't have a lot
Of friends. I had like two or three people
That I chilled with. Yeah. And like
They're still my friends to this day but uh
No high school I fucking
Stopped taking my ADD meds
Turned into a psychopath
Got a bunch of friends. So
So yeah my brother he
On the other hand he was like
So my brother was a fucking little princess
When it came to football. He liked it cause he
Liked hanging out with him. He had all his buddies on the team
My brother was a popular kid
But he wasn't too good at football because
My mom said I always asked
My brother and he always tells me stories of like
Oh this heroic fucking win we got
And I got the last second sack and like all this shit
And then like I remember I went to my mom's house
And got drunk with her like
Probably a year ago now
And she told me she was like yeah no your brother
Was fucking horrified when he played football
So he was so scared he was gonna get hit
Like and he was on defense
Like nobody's running after him
He's just running after some
Yeah yeah he's the one trying to tackle
Like he's not
He's not at risk for anything but he just did not like touching people
Look at the Mark Hamlin bro
He was on defense
He died
Temporarily
He was so like he like unplugged
The router for a second
Yeah but my brother was that emo kid though
I remember like everybody thought he was like
The cool kid in elementary school cause he
He got converse before anybody
Else and he got him in lime green
He had the little fucking Justin Bieber like
Skater comb over
Like that big like bowl cut thing
I've been here
I got the entire school
Oh manny
It was Hawaiian shirt Fridays like I just would wear
A Hawaiian shirt every Friday like when it wasn't
Football season and then eventually
Like the entire school started wearing Hawaiian shirts
On Fridays like it was me
My dumb ass with fucking dyed blonde hair
And fucking pierced the ears
With a fucking Hawaiian shirt
That's kinda gay bro
I remember
I went on vacation
I went on a fucking vacation
To Hampton Beach
And this was when drug rugs just became a thing
I fucking hate drug rugs
So I got a drug rug even though I was super
They're like ponchos
Look it up like you can look it up on your phone like
Drug rug hoodie
It's like a poncho with the form of a hoodie
Yeah like the classic look
Was the black and the tan
Black and tan are like the red and blue
Yeah so I got one of those
And I remember
I showed it up
They do
They're super comfortable and I wanted to get one
Because it's like oh shit that looks so different
From what most people wear and I just wanted to be a fucking asshole
So no but this was when people didn't have them
This was before they were cool
I came under fire for this
I fucking went to school wearing one
And this kid who was like in 7th grade
Came up to me and he was just like
Dude you're not cool enough to wear that
And I was like
That had to be devastating
No no it wasn't I just looked at him like
Who do you think you are
Like bro my hoodie fucking like
That's going to trigger you oh I'm not cool enough to wear
Go fuck yourself
Like dude what the fuck are you talking about
So that kid is next to me in my locker
And I remember he kept talking shit about me
For a couple weeks for wearing this hoodie
And I wore it every day just to piss him off
And I had this one kid
I'm not going to lie this kid definitely had some sort of disability
His name was Tyler actually
Not
He was nothing like you
One of those kids that is just a fucking beef boy
His teeth were all
Fucked up
He was a different disabled Tyler
Jesus Christ
But no this dude he's tall as fuck
He's beefy as fuck
He's fat
He's not fat but he's well built
Has a shit load of muscle big country boy
He's got these fucked up teeth
He talks with a lisp
Doesn't have a lot of friends he just picks fights
With everyone he talks to
And I just remember I was like
Talking to this dude he sat at our lunch table
Because he didn't have a lot of friends and he'd always start shit
With everybody
Including me I wasn't the biggest fan of him
But I remember fucking
He
He went
The dude who I was getting pissed off at that made fun of me
For wearing the hoodie
He whammied his locker
This is the most middle school thing ever but you know
The thing where you flip the lock around
So it's facing backwards and it's really hard to get off
So he did that shit to him
And my buddy Tyler
Who was like who the fuck did that
Like if you ever played the PS2 game
Bully
He was like the first boss Russell
The redhead with like the big
Like he was literally like fucking
Donkey Kong in middle schooler form
But fucking
So I told Tyler
That this kid whammied his locker
The dude next to me and I remember I came
I walked back to my locker after lunch that day
And
This Tyler kid
Has him press so fucking hard up against
His locker holding him by the collar
Like two feet in the air
He was like Alex told me you whammied
The locker
He was just getting so pissed off at him
I remember the dude who was talking shit about
Me looks at me and he's like Alex
Fucking like help me out here
Like I never
I never did that right and I was like bro
I'm the one who fucking told him
Like don't be a piece of shit
Like you fucking deserve this
He's like what did you know Alex
And this just starts fucking pummeling him
Gets like fucking suspended for like two
Months comes back and like the first
Thing he does when he gets back is this big
Country boy he's not going to college
He's just going there so he can work home on daddy's
Farm when he gets his fucking GED
Or drops out he knew that that was his game
Plan but fucking
First thing he does is he just fist bumps me
And he's like dude I know
You told me just to fucking clear a problem
Off your plate but that kid's an asshole and he deserved it
Thank you for telling me that
I just want to beat the shit out of somebody
Sounds like a quality guy
He is, he is Casey
So Casey what about you? You have been silent
Dude I am
Blazed
Casey I know based off of your
Facebook profile pictures at one
Point you played basketball
No was it soccer? I thought
I thought I saw a picture of you playing basketball
As one of your older profile pictures
Am I wrong? Yeah
I am. Basketball, no you're not wrong
Basketball yeah
I thought so, it was like you like put in a layup
In or something, so tell us
About that, tell us about your basketball
Experience
You look like you were a tall kid
I felt like I was good, not great
Did you hit like a growth spurt before most
People? Yeah there's taller
People than me. Yeah you look
Fucking tall in the picture though if it's still up
Yeah I feel like I was good
Not great though
You got any like, whatever
You got any like heroic fucking stories?
Like oh we made it to the
Finals, game seven
No bro we were in
Tyson, Jordan, Jackson
Game six
We just, we sucked bro
We had like
This is going to sound bad, we had one
Black guy down on our team and we played
A team of all black kids and we
Lost miserably
I played basketball
This is actually funny, I don't think
I've told this one on the pod before actually
I played basketball for
None other than the Albany
Jewish Community Center
What? Yes
So as you know, I am not Jewish
No point in my life
Have I been
Blue and white like the Israeli flag and shit
Do they have like stars of David
Or anything on them?
No, our jerseys were just like
Pennies for the most part, they said like
AJCC on the front
So we played in this one
League, but we had our own like brackets
And shit, like if you did good enough
You could end up at a national championship
Like it's not like a
It's not a small thing, no like it wasn't a rec league
It was more than a rec league but we were
Just like, was it like only like
The Jewish thing or was it like
No, you weren't just
Playing religions, you were playing all different
Because I was in the CYO leagues
The Catholic Youth Organization
So it was CYO
Yeah, which is Catholic Youth Organization
I didn't know that, that makes sense
Which is weird because we were JCC
But we were part of the CYO league
Wait, when did you play?
Um, shit
That would have been 2015 or 2016
Oh, no, no, I thought this was like
Elementary school because I played
No, this was either my junior or senior year
Of high school
But, the story is pretty wild
So the reason why I did this team
Is because like, I just wanted to do
Something, like everybody's like playing
Sports, I didn't want to play football
The baseball team had a bunch of assholes on it too
So my buddy Drew
Who was a black adopted Jew
Alright
No, you can laugh about that and he's okay
With you laughing about it, it's the only reason why I can even
Say his name here, he would think this is
Hysterical, he's still my buddy
He's like, hey man
Like you and like four of our friends
Should join it, so our team had
Actually, this is pretty cool
So we had
We had our star lineup, right? We had this tall
White country dude
Named Ryan, he was our three point
Shooter, he couldn't do anything
But this kid could drain threes
Then you had Eden
This Israeli, like super
Religious guy, born in Israel
Came over here
Jewish
He's still here
Prayers for that guy
Eden was, I'm still friends with him
On Facebook, he's posting stuff, he's cool
He lives in America now
He was like
Our star point guard
Then we had my friend Drew
He was like the LeBron of this league
Because he was just way taller
He was way more muscular
He was just really, really fucking good at
Basketball, but he had a bad temper
And so did our point guard
Ricky
And Ricky was also
And Ricky would also not get mad at me
For talking about this, because these two
They knew how this looked, you're playing for a Jewish community center
Ricky was black too, and he was really good
He later went on to lead Hamas
No
And then we had Richie, who had the sickest handles
Ever, like he could fucking
Look like a Harlem Globetrotter
Going between his legs and shit
But he could not shoot to save his life
He was like the Ray John Rondo
Of our team, he wore the headband too
And he had a super short buzz cut
He looked like Rondo
And he was the backup point guard, but I always fucking
Got along with him, but anyways
So we play a season, we're not that good
We barely make the good division
Of the CYO, the one that can go up
To the national championship
We were the last seed in that for the local area
And
We had fought through the regional playoffs
To get that ranking in the pool play
And we had already played
Win or go home games to this point
Nobody thought we were going to make it this far
We played mediocre the whole season
Everybody gets a shot to make the playoffs
You all get put in the playoff bracket
Our record was like
3-8
We weren't a good team
But we get in the playoffs and we just start winning
And then before our game
Just one day, and my buddy David
Still friends with him too
His dad died
Six hours before the game started
And
His dad
No, his dad was dead
I knew his dad
He actually used to live on my street when my mom
Cheated, no
My mom left my dad
I'm just trying to do that thing that Dan always does
Is he okay?
No, he's gone, he's like a live league video
His dad was a piece of shit
He got arrested a couple times
When he lived on my road
When we were middle school and stuff
I still felt bad for him
I've been friends with my buddy David his whole life
He didn't play
But he came in, he wore his jersey
He sat on the bench
Before the game he just goes like
And David is like this
He's not good at basketball at all
This kid could talk shit with the best of him
He's hysterical
But this kid was super short
And he was really fat
And he loved it, he thought it was funny
He knew he was bad at basketball
He's just there for the experience
But he comes in and he's like, hey guys I want to say something
And everybody's like, whoa
Like this kid never fucking talks
So we huddle up with him and he's like
Guys, my dad died tonight
I know we're going to get smoked here
But let's just play a good fucking game
In honor of him
And it was this team that was projected to beat us
By like 40
We did
It came down to a last second shot
Where
So
This is the funny part
So Richie
Richie, Ricky, and Drew
Like our three best players
Got ejected for
Technical fouls
Because the team we were playing got
So in their heads
Because of how hard we wanted that win
For our buddy whose fucking dad
Just died
And we got angry
When we started losing late in the game
So that put me
Who was like a deep bench player
I was not good at basketball
I will be completely honest with you
I just was not good at basketball
I ended up coming into the second
Half of the game as the starting point guard
Who's like more or less the quarterback
In basketball
Like you're the one who dribbles the ball up the court
You start the play, you call the play
It wasn't fun
I didn't do great
But we got back in the game
Just because like my buddy
We just played simple basketball
Like street ball
I wasn't calling plays, I was just passing
And for whatever reason
They were not guarding this kid Ryan
And he was just hitting three
After three
This kid was automatic
We got ourselves back in the game
I got fouled for a reach in
Because they started to realize that I was so
Bad at dribbling the ball
That they could just kind of come after me and take the ball
From me
I'm not good man
I'm the second to last player on the team
In terms of the bench order
I don't get a lot of play time
And I was starting, I played the whole third and fourth quarter
And once they
Picked up on the fact that I really had no idea
What I was doing and I was just putting on a front like I was good
They started coming after me
So I had a reach in foul
When there was like four seconds left in the game
And we're down by two
And so I had foul shots
I'm not going to make it big and suspenseful
I was shitting my pants
But I actually made both of them
Which blew my mind because I was not good at them
So you got tied?
So no, we didn't tie
They inbounded the ball
There's like fifteen seconds left
They come down
They score a two pointer
Off of just like, it was just
It wasn't like a remarkable point
It wasn't like a big slam dunk or anything
They saw a hole in our defense
Right after a pass and they had a layup
And they got two points, like nobody was guarding them
They just, they had a good play for it
So then we inbounded
And then
I passed it to the small forward
Because Eden, who was that really
Good Israeli point guard
Is now needing to play small forward
And center because Drew and Ricky
Are out of the game, they were way bigger
Than everybody else
So even though he knows what's going on
He just has to be our point scorer
So I passed it to him and he just
He has the sickest, like
He faked a behind the back pass
Then came up around the other side
And flicked it behind his head
To Ryan
Who was wide open in the corner
This kid had drilled like nine threes
In a row, it's the only reason
We're in the game, it was the coolest pass
I've seen in my life
And he took this three with like
One second left on the clock, time expires
With the balls in the air
And no, he didn't miss
By much, but it just
Bounced off the rim and came out
And it was just like, one of the most
Devastating feelings
I've felt in my entire
Life, and I didn't give a fuck
About the basketball league until that
Game was like, holy fuck, David's dad
Died, yeah let's win this fucking
Game, like this isn't a joke anymore
And we like, I remember
Most of our team was in tears
Like, my buddy Drew
Was like, to the point
He was so upset with himself
That he let the other team get in his head
And I can't even remember what he said, he like
Somebody called him like a piece of shit
Or they said like, oh I bet your mom
No, they made some adopted joke
To him, which was really fucked up
So that's what triggered him, and he fucking pushed
Some kid to the ground, and he went sliding like
Ten feet, because he was a quarter the size of him
So he got booted out
Ricky got mad about the fact that
Drew got kicked out, and then Richie
Who was like the dude with the handles, he just got mad
He had nothing to do with the other
He just got mad, got kicked out
They were all sobbing their eyes out on the bench
They were so mad they got kicked out of the game
Because if they were in the game, any one of them
They were all so good, we would have won that game
Like, I wasn't good
Like, all I wanted was a win for my dad
You guys can't even come through
No, no, David was more moved
Than anyone
Like, he made a joke, and he's like
What in the Friday Night Lights is going on here
He was like
Dude, like
I'm heartbroken
I'm like, I'm a level I can't even say
But he's like, guys, like
The fact, because all David asked us to do
He's like, you guys are retarded
He just said, he just said, fight for my dad tonight
Like, he knew we weren't going to win that game
This team was supposed to smoke us
They were supposed to triple our score
Yeah, it's a CYO basketball game, guys
But my dad's still dead
Dude, this team was coming from
This is the CYO league
It's not like, oh, you have regionals
And then states and everything
No, these guys were coming over from two states over
Because we're like
It's CYO, we were the bottom seed
In that bracket, we were facing the
Number one seed for the Northeast
And if you guys actually won that game
You guys would have immediately lost
Yeah, we would have lost the next game
But they would have flown us out somewhere
And we would have lost the game
And it just, it was the most heart wrenching thing
When that ball missed
Because it was just like
It just, you had this fucking
Cinderella story going
And you're just convinced
Like, when I fucking made my two foul shots
I'm like, yeah, we're going to win this game
I was like
I had like three points
That game, I had like one other
Like, group of foul shots I had
And I had the one foul shot there
And I flanked my other
Like, I wasn't shooting, I don't shoot
I was bad enough at basketball
That I would get like one or two shots
A game, like I knew I couldn't
Shoot for shit, I was a passer
I was like a playmaker
I didn't fucking shoot
So when I fucking hit both of my free throws
I'm like, wow, this is like some
Miracle on ice shit
I was like, we're going to win this game
And that ball fucking doinks off
It's just like
You feel like you get stabbed in the heart
And David, like I said, he made the joke
He's like, one of the Friday Night Lights is this
He's like, dude, you guys almost beat them
He's like, you guys fucking played harder
He's like, shit, if we played this way all year
We'd be in the fucking NBA by now
It's like, what the fuck
Did I just witness? And then none of us
Signed up for the team the next year
That's really funny
Dude, I played
I played basketball when I was a young kid, like elementary school
And I sucked at shooting
But I was really good at defense
That was me
I was a defensive player
But my coach
He called me T for technical
He goes
T, anytime that they need to fucking instill the fear of
God into somebody, they're like T, get in there
So
I just be fucking on the fucking sidelines
Taking the rappers off
Of Gatorade and like putting them on the wall
And like just making a wall of Gatorade
Like rappers
And he's like T
He goes, get in there
Number 14
I want him to stop scoring
So I get in there
And I start doing like the fucking
You're a basketball enforcer
They're just fucking laying
He's just like
Alright T, we need a foul
And I'm like
I go out there
And I fucking threw him into the stands
And they're like, technical
You're out
Dude, I feel like such a piece of shit
Doing that, I was always like the
Level headed one
I remember the only time I got mad
When I played baseball was this one
Kid, big fucking
He actually wasn't a preppy boy
But he was one of those kids that played baseball
Because the girls at our high school watched
Like he could have given two shits about
The sport, and he was pretty good
But he was on a stretch where he was just
Striking out a lot, and he came in our dugout
And he threw his helmet, and it like
Smacked off of the fucking wall, and it hit
This one super quiet
Kid, who
The only reason this kid was on the roster, because he was fast as fuck
We didn't let him hit
Yeah, we didn't let him hit
We didn't let him fucking play defense
Or anything, he was a pinch runner
He knew his role
He stole bases, and he stole him like a demon
But he was this super quiet sweet kid
And the helmet doinked off of him
He starts bleeding above his eyebrow
And I just fucking like went off on the kid
I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?
Like dude, we're playing a high school fucking baseball game here
Like
Stop getting mad and throwing your fucking helmet
Because you're worried you're not going to get pussy
Because you didn't get a hit tonight
And he starts getting in my face
And then like a bunch of people who I didn't think I was friends with
On the team come to back me up
Because they're like, dude Alex doesn't fucking
Harm to fly
Like you're going to fucking come in here in a mood
And he's going to call you out on your bullshit rightfully
And you're going to get mad at him, like fuck off
And then like, I don't know
It was the same thing with basketball
Like I tried to hold back Drew and Ricky
But like, those two, they just got too mad
They pushed through me
They were the type that would like get in a ref's face
And be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
That shot, that shot, he didn't touch his wrist
Like what the fuck?
They were fucking animals
And it was just like, at a certain point I'd be like
I got mad, like I'd try to keep everybody's
Head in the game and just be like, hey man
Like fucking chill out
We're playing a game, you're not helping anybody
You're not helping the team by getting pissed off
We all fucking hate when you do this shit
Oh, for me though, it wasn't me getting pissed off
Like my coach was like, just go in there and foul somebody
I know, that's different
That's fucking through it, get into the crowd
That's actually the kid whose dad
Died on our team, that's what we did with David
Because David, David was awful
At basketball, worse than me
I was third on the bench, my other buddy Ryan
Who was like just about as bad as me
But he didn't talk
So I got put it before him on the bench
And then there was David after Ryan
Just because like dude, he had no baseball qualities
He just had cankles
He's like five feet tall
As long as you're not the worst, I guess
Yeah, but I would just shoulder check people
In basketball, they'd be like
We put David out
Because he could talk shit
He wouldn't do anything, he'd just get the other people
Riled up to the point where they'd get technicals
He'd be like, hey, this guy's playing too good
Get in there
No, not fuck him up
Just get in his hat
And he'd go out there and be like, oh what?
What's that? Oh you're going to take that shot?
You're going to let me? Dude, I'm a third your size
And I'm going to block you bro
Like what the fuck are you doing out here?
Oh yeah, you're so good
You're playing for your little high school
What, you got your little fucking girlfriend up there?
She's the blonde one? Yeah, fuck her
No, no, anybody would be like, oh I'll talk to her after the game
I think she's looking at me
She winked at me
And he'd just say shit like that
And it would rattle them
They'd be laughing and they'd pretend it wouldn't matter
And then they would just start missing
They'd be completely undefended
Our defense was playing like shit
And they would just be like, oh yeah
He just fucking bricked that
He hit the last seven
David said he was going to fuck his girlfriend
And it's going down now
That's all it would be
He wasn't physical
He wasn't technical, dude
They'd get mad at him
And you'd see people like you come out and be like
Get him out, he's being a fucking punk
Dude, so I tackled a kid
I tackled a kid on the sidelines
For basketball? No, for football
So it was like high school
I tackled this kid
He was running on the sidelines
But I got him in the backfield
So it was like a tackle for a loss
Right next to his cheerleaders
And I tackled him into the cheerleaders
And I was like, wow, hey babe
And they're like, ooh
And I go, see, even your fucking cheerleaders like me better
And I fucking went off
He fucking tried to fucking clean me the next play
And I just go
You know a moment like that
They're going to be seeing in a blind rage
They're not going to think
They're going to be so fucking mad
You did that, they're going to come at you
So I fucking sprint
I tackle him into the sidelines
I fucking get up
I'm like
Yeah, if you talk shit
And you get a good first word in
Like you can really
If you get off on the right step as the
Shit talker, you can fuck
That whole person's night up
You can make them look like a fool
If you just say something that gets in their head
And then every time you do something
That fucks them up after that, it just gets in
Their head more
It really is
Oh damn
Casey, what else
You got to have a story
Like yeah I play baseball
I play basketball
You had the fucking bag right there
Yeah bro, weren't you like little fucking
You were like David Beckham back in the day
Weren't you?
Yeah, no, no
I played defense bro
It was like
Not like the goal score
Casey, can you explain how soccer works to me
I know you try to get the ball and the goal
That's all I know, like what are the positions in soccer
Because I have no fucking idea
There's like defense, right
There's offense and there's midfield
Which is like offense and defense
How many people in each position do you have
Forward, well usually
Like four defenders
Like three midfielders
I seriously don't know how many people are on offense
But like when it comes to like FIFA
Four midfield, two forward
So there's like 11?
Midfield plays offense and defense
11
But it's in soccer though
Like when you look at like the MLS and shit
They have different roles that
Aren't like positions like striker
And shit like that, those are the people that
Like people are trying to set shots up for
But it's not like a position
Right? What?
Like striker, that's not a position
Right, striker is like forward
Yeah, it's like a forward that serves the role
Of the guy who's going to try to score
Yeah, they're the one who they're trying to set up for the most part
Right? Yeah
So like that would be like a David Beckham type
Yeah, that's like your Lionel Messi
I think David Beckham played midfield
Usually like the fastest person will play
Center midfield
Like the best dribbler
Right, and the fastest
Will be like the center midfielder
And then like the really fast people
Will be on the outside wings
The only people I know that played soccer was David Beckham
And what the fuck was that one guy
The Pele, Pele
But bro, you got
Come on, you've heard Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi before
I've heard
The fucking goats
If you put them in a lineup I wouldn't be able to tell you who they are
Lionel Messi, I fucking love that guy
But he cost me so much money
I knew nothing about the fucking FIFA World Cup
I put 50 bucks on France to win
And they were like not like a colossal underdog
But they were like the sixth or seventh choice
To win
And I was like, fuck it, I don't know anything about it
I was drunk one night, I'm like 50 bucks on France
No, it was right before it started
It ended up being France versus
Fuck
Where the fuck is Messi from? Argentina
It was France versus Argentina
And the end of
The game was wild, it just kept going
Back and forth, there was penalty kicks
And then Messi finally got his World Cup
Which apparently he hadn't won, I thought he had a bunch of them
But he's just played really well
He's played really well
Now he
Plays in Miami, he fucking caught
Everyone off-guard because he went to the MLS apparently the MLS has like no talent
that's like more or less like your American soccer league and
Messi came over and everyone's like
What?
Why is he not playing with the best players in the world? So what's your opinion on on on?
Fucking the NFL adding teams from like England and shit. I think it's retarded
Yeah, it's just you you can't fuck people's sleep schedules up that much
I feel like it would be a huge advantage if they played at home. It's that and
Yeah, well, it's not even that they play at home because in theory they wouldn't have too much of an advantage
well, actually they would have more of an advantage than
Like I see the owners arguments. I don't think is ever gonna happen
I will say that I could see it expanding into Canada if it takes off a little bit
I think I think my little Mexico like I could see the NHL like Montreal would have a team fucking
Yeah, like shit like that like it but but London you're gonna have a tough time making a good team
Because for all of their away games, which is half of your game
Oh, they're actually thinking about taking the Jaguars and moving them to London. I know with like a team
I know but but their away games are going to be in America
They're going to be the only so they're gonna be fighting that sleep
So the argument is that they would be fighting that sleep?
Schedule and the time difference just as much as the teams that were visiting them
But it's like you see really good teams go to London and get fucked and they play fucking horrible
They lose to really bad teams
Team so the Jaguars the Jaguars are considered like the the London team because every time that they play in
Yeah, and it's always the Jaguars versus somebody else
Yeah, it's Jacksonville. There's usually only like one big ticket team that goes Jaguar
Jaguar the Jaguars are Jacksonville. I think he means the way you're pronouncing
Jaguar
Jaguar Jaguar like quagmire. That's not how you pronounce it
Jaguar Jaguar war Jaguar. Yeah you way are
They're like
I'm against it. I think it
But I think I think I think I think I think they're looking at it is that the the Jacksonville isn't a huge like
market
Yeah, Jacksonville is like the size of Albany
Yeah, and like
London is they're bigger than Albany, but they're not as big as most of the fan bases in the NFL
But like it's it's like a Buffalo
It's type type thing but the reason why Buffalo gets in like gets that many people is because it has the basically the entirety of
Upstate except for the capital region
And even the capital region now, they're starting to be frontrunners. I mean my dad's been there since the beginning
No, it's like another football town is Green Bay. Like I went there for a game Green Bay is desolate
There's nothing within 50 miles of you. You have Milwaukee about a hundred miles away
That's your only major city really around there. It's just everybody in that general area
Like even though the towns in the middle of nowhere
It's like everybody around favorite team
But the thing is with Jacksonville you have the fucking dolphins
You have the Buccaneers like you already have three teams in that state that are like like everybody in Florida likes the fucking
Yeah, and the Jaguars are just they're an after-effect
So that's why and like in London, they always sell at the stadium every single time that they go to London
Well, they do but it's because it's the only football game that they get
Yeah, like you they pan the camera around to the crowd. They're wearing all different jerseys
It's no different than like if I rooted for like a Premier League team, like oh, I'm a huge Arsenal fan. It's like alright
Like why'd you pick them?
They got a cannon bro, they got arsenal like oh guns
Kind of stupid to me because it's like it's just a game bro and people get so into it
I mean, I like I like the Giants. I like the Rangers. Why does anybody like any team? It's just like
A lot of people a lot of people like the Rangers
I mean, I like the Giants. I like the Rangers. Why does anybody like any team? It's just like
I think a lot of people a lot of people like like where they're from this team
But like there's some places like out in like the Midwest that don't have a fucking team. Yeah, they represent you
Yeah, it's like it's like kind of like how your high school team represents your town like yeah your Giants represents
Yes, the athletes before you say no, it's not like a war but before you say Casey
Yes, the athletes are from all over the world, but regardless they're representing your area
They're representing your area like fucking nobody knows where Buffalo is Buffalo is a look
I know more times like you know Buffalo is a shithole city
Buffalo is a bigger Albany. That's all it is. It is literally just a like
You take Albany you multiply it by three. It's Buffalo. That's that's really all it is
It's not a super big city and it's always cold
It's always cold the weather's shit all the time, but it's like
everybody who lives there
What else are they gonna do? Yeah, but like the thing is you got nothing when people are like, okay
So what sports teams do you like and I'm like guess where I'm from. I like the New York Giants
I like the Rangers. I like the Yankees. I like the Knicks and
Pretty much it. Yeah, it's also like the other thing is like I grew up golden era
So did you Casey fucking you got the gold era you got fucking?
2009 New York Yankees out there with fucking Jay-z singing Empire State of Mind during the World Series like
With that shit that shit fucking awesome. Yeah, like it's just like yeah
Jay-z fucking Empire State of Mind
We got their dinner on the bench fuck yeah, we got a run a persona. Yeah, corn Curtis Granderson
Robbie can know Mariano Rivera
See some bad
You're fucking ready you do it people get so into it and upset about sports teams like get fucking upset
Along with it like that's what gets about something that matters
That's what I like about like like the stories and like football and stuff like fucking like let's go back to Super Bowl 42
It's my favorite Super Bowl because Giants won
But like there was way more to it than that the fucking undefeated New England Patriots
They're going fucking there 17 and oh the Giants shouldn't even fucking be in the Super Bowl. Yeah Eli court
Yeah, Eli Manning who looks like a fucking lost puppy fucking fucking huddle in the huddle this day
They're fucking there. They're hanging in there with the theme that everybody said was gonna go undefeated
They were gonna be the first one to go 18 and oh, yeah, and they're like in Tom Brady Tom Brady
Everybody in the nation outside the people who like the Patriots fucking hate it. Yeah, he's just keeps winning
Yeah, and he's and he got fucking the Emperor fucking Bill Belichick the coach fucking like they looked like unstoppable juggernauts
And this fucking underdog team from New York you got fucking Eli Manning got Plaxico Burris. You got David Tyree
I David Tyree was a nobody was a nobody until that catch
Yeah, and he was like a fourth he was like their fourth receiver like he played but like they get like a couple targets a game
You get like 20 yards, so they're fucking they're doing like this the end of the game. They're down by fucking
They're down by six there clocks running out fucking Eli looks like you get sacked you see no there's there was too much time
Yeah, yeah, they weren't supposed to score the touchdown
Yeah, but they but there was like it looked like Eli was sacked if the if the Patriots got the ball back
They were gonna they were gonna end it it was there
So it looked like there's everybody was around Eli Manning gets fucking looks like you're gonna get sex like alright
The game's fucking over they need to see Eli come out with a fucking dude grabbing on to his fucking jersey
He's Jersey literally ripped during that you can see it ripping in the in the in the in the in the photos
And he throws it up fucking just hail marries it fucking against Randy Moss not Randy mass moss
Was it Randy Moss? No, Randy Moss was a wider. No. No, I was thinking of someone thinking of the Tyree catcher
Aren't you? Yes, who the fuck was it against? Oh?
No, you're you're saying Tom Brady threw it. No no Eli. This is when David Tyree caught it on his helmet
Yeah, it was like one of the best defenders like that that they had fucking David Tyree's a fucking no-brainer in crow Marty
I can't remember who it was. He catches it on his oh is Darrell Revis. Yeah catches it on his head
Catches it like this and then fucking goes down fucking catches good and everybody's I oh my fucking god
The Giants might actually do it
Then at the end they fucking score a touchdown and the zoom in on Brady fucking sitting there with the red white and blue fucking
Things because the Giants won and they just fucking sitting there doing the fucking yeah, the sad fucking sit
It was great. It was that was like it's like the stories like that that makes sports fucking cool and Casey
I have I have a story very similar to that which I think might put things into perspective a little bit because it's like
So the Seahawks right they were a shitty team forever my buddy drew again my drew the black adopted you
He so he has this white family which
Hey, I hate to say it. We all made jokes about him for it
They were horrible, but he thought they were funny, too. He really did
He was he had a good sense of humor, but so his dad was a diehard
Seahawks fan his entire life the Seahawks have not done shit in forever
They finally make it to a Super Bowl. They blow it right yeah against the Patriots with Tom Brady again
Tom Brady is still on this reign of terror if he's not winning his Super Bowl
He breaks hearts every year because it's just like they fucking would eliminate everybody they touched in the playoffs until either the Super Bowl
Or the game before the Super Bowl, and it's just like he pisses you out like he fucked my chargers over and everything
So like I'm rooting for the Seahawks like crazy
So they have the best running back in the league with Marshawn Lynch former bill
he did run over an old lady in
Buffalo and it was a hit-and-run, and he didn't report it and everybody seems to forget about that happen
You know no, but that's the thing that's that's the I have another rant to go on after
You lose them, but uh but no so they had the best running back in the league. It's it's first and goal
All you have to do is run the ball off the guy
There's like ten seconds left on the clock you're down by five
I think so you need to touchdown
But you have the best running back at like your chances of scoring if you just played the same play
Like he's gonna get in you're a yard away like it's
It was like it was it was first it was second second first down yeah
Yeah, like it was literally like it was down to like the if you don't score on this play you lose
But it's like your obvious play call is running up the middle or just give this guy the ball like he will score it
You don't pass when you're the one yard line. I was watching videos of like Seahawks fans destroying their TVs
yeah, yeah, I remember so this happened and I remember we're in a whole room full of Drew's family and
They're all Seahawks fans. They've all waited for this move
They know it's a big deal to Drew's dad like none of them are like a big group
But there's a couple football fans that don't root for the Seahawks there that are family
But they all know how big of a deal it is to him. He threw this big party
He's waited for his team to be good for like ever
They finally make it and that play happened and I remember the room was just dead silent
This was one of those really inappropriate times to laugh, but I just couldn't help
Kind of was just like it was so funny
Nobody knew how to handle the room
And I just felt like my brain just couldn't help but like try to crack it up and like give it some comedic relief
I was like
And his dad just turns around who had been nothing but the sweetest like pretty quiet man up to me at this point
He's like Alex if you're gonna laugh leave the fucking room
I called my mom to pick me up because I knew how I'd feel if I was just like the Chargers
Finally made it to a Super Bowl and that happened and my son's smart-ass friend
Just can't help himself from laughing like I knew I was in the wrong
But I couldn't help myself and I was like I can't stay there. It was pretty funny
So my dad is a Broncos fan
Yeah, and my dad's been a Broncos fan since he was a fucking kid like John Elway era. Yeah, John Elway. So the first true
Mobile quarterback. Yeah
So he was watching I think it was Super Bowl. I forgot what Super Bowl was
It was the first one that Peyton Manning went to the Super Bowl with the Broncos the real
So the one so the one where they played the Seahawks real bad where the Seahawks fucking
dist
Destroyed the
Endzone and shit and fuck you is yeah, the Seahawks ran away with it, right?
Yeah
And like my dad like we have a Super Bowl party every fucking year and like my dad's like, oh fucking Broncos are in Super Bowl
We're gonna have like a big Super Bowl party this year
So fucking sitting there and then I just see like as soon as Peyton Manning fumbles the fumbles the the ball in the end zone
I
See my dad get up
Let's get up out of his chair and just walk upstairs into his room and just close the door and I can't see him for the
rest of the night
I'm starting to realize that like sports aren't healthy for me
So like the Chargers played the Cowboys this Monday night and it was a big game
Then it was a pretty even matchup
They played it in LA so the Chargers technically kind of had like the slightest bit of an upper hand
I remember I came home and see he loves it. She watched she watches every single Bills game
She's like Alex like aren't you gonna watch the Chargers game like their prime time tonight?
I'm like, babe
I got a bad feeling about tonight like I know they're gonna lose and I know it's gonna come down to some last-minute shit
And I'm gonna be in a pissed-off mood. I'm gonna get like mad at you and
And it's just like I I shouldn't care that much like and I'm tired
I have studying to do like I just I don't think I should watch this game because it's just gonna get me riled up
All I ever do when I watch my team is I get riled up and they used to be good
They used to make it in the playoffs. They used to make it deep in the playoffs
but now they just get eliminated in the first round when they blow like a 30-point lead and I
Can't my heart can't handle that boat boy put me on a fucking
Four lead because
In the the playoff game for the no not the playoff game is the last game of the regular season two years ago for the
Chargers so the determination of this game and this relates to Emily a little bit because they're Steelers
the Steelers would get into the playoffs if
Either the so the Raiders play the Chargers if the Chargers win the game
They're in if the Raiders win the game
They're in if the Raiders and the Chargers tie they both get in
and
If one of the team wins then the Steelers get in and the other team doesn't so if these two teams tie
They both go to the playoffs
So it entered this really weird situation which has never occurred in sports where?
There was a very long field goal with one second left on the clock that the Raiders could kick
They don't have a super high probability of making it
They do take a risk by like the kick getting blocked in return for a touchdown
Rather than kneeling the ball and the rare thing their position in the look the kicker right?
No, he's gone. No, no, they have a good kicker
They have a good kicker. You're thinking of a house key. Yeah, Sebastian Janikowski the Polish leg
Yes, people call them now. He was not their kicker at this point, but they had a good kicker
Janikowski's been gone for a while. I think he retired a handful years ago, but um
no, so they could have just kneeled this ball down and both teams gonna made the playoffs and
And it looked like they were gonna kneel it but the Chargers coach called a timeout for some reason and
Because the the Raiders got irritated by them calling the timeout
The Raiders sent their kicking unit onto the field and they kicked the field goal and they won the game. That's fucking funny
I'm a Raiders fan. So they were gonna kneel it out and let the Chargers go to the playoffs
They they had like a gentleman's agreement of like a man
Like we could probably bump you out right now
But like we don't want to risk the field goal and you run it back or anything. So like we're just gonna kneel it
As a Raiders fan, I'd like to rub that in your face. Yeah. Well, you didn't even know what happened
So it's not gonna piss me off. Like I said, I don't care really about I know
Like that shit happened and when I was watching that game like Mike boat boy, he doesn't know anything about football
He'll admit that like he jokes about it. Yeah
We're watching sports ball like yeah, he likes hockey, but he doesn't even really watch hockey that much
He understands the rules of it. I know I just don't care. Yeah, but uh, but no so boat boy
Is just he hooks me up to the monitor and he's just like Alex. Why are you getting so mad about this?
And it's like I realize now it runs in my family. It runs in the McDonald blood we
We get too pissed off about sports and my dad's a Bills fan
So they lost the four Super Bowls like I had to give him a heart attack. Yeah, and like I
Won with the fuck it came down to the fucking yeah, the Scott Norwood kick
Yeah, and uh
Yeah, so um, I hear stories about those days for my mom and they aren't very pretty
And it's like the same shit with me. I get too into it my heart rate like I legitimately like
Have borderline arrhythmia as watching football like it stresses me out that much
And it is ridiculous. So that's why CC's like oh, you're not even a real fan
You're not gonna watch the game and it's like no
I want them to win. I'd love to watch them and see them win
But I don't believe that they're going to and I'm not ready for heartbreak. So what happened this last week with the Chargers?
So the Chargers could have kicked a field goal from the Cowboys 10 yard line with time expiring
To tie the game and send it to overtime, but instead they went for it
on fourth and 10
fourth and goal and
The wide receiver apparently just dropped the ball the charges the Chargers could have won the game
They went for the win when they could have tied it and it was like CC's like oh
Did you hear what happened in the Chargers game last night and even that pissed me off a little bit because like yeah
But like do you also see why I didn't watch it last night?
Like do you realize how bad of a mood that would have put me in like
And it's ridiculous. It is like why do you care?
But you do why do you care? There's no reason I can't give you a justification
It's from San Diego, but it's the bragging rights. They play in LA now Casey get with the times fuck off
But you fucking it's like it's I think it's the shit talking to be honest
It's the fact that you know
That any of your buddies who pay attention in the sport when they hear that you're a chargers fan
They could be like, oh hey, you remember when the judges were up by fucking 28 in the playoffs last year
And the fucking Jaguars came back and beat them. It's like yeah, we were on our way to Buffalo in a fucking car
Driven by fucking CC's friend Shelby and CC in the back. I'm in the front
I'm super happy the first half and CC goes why are you getting so quiet?
I'm like, I know they have such a good lead, but I'm like they're gonna blow it like I know this team
They're gonna blow it. This is gonna be a hard game
They're gonna blow it this is gonna be a heart-wrenching loss and that is exactly what happened
Hmm, and then like we get to the hotel
For the Bills game who are playing in the playoff
They won their playoff game that we went to but like CC's like why are you being such a bummer?
Why aren't you in a good mood? It's like my team just got fucking eliminated in the most humiliating way fucking possible
I'm gonna hear about this for fucking years. You hear that? I'm gonna hear about this for fucking years
For my friends you think the fucking Dolphins fans are just gonna let me get away with that
I lost a fucking 28 fucking point lead
I know I didn't have any influence on but I'm gonna hear shit about this forever
It's like it's your manhood. It's your manhood at stake there
You root for your team you talk shit about other teams all year because you're think your teams all that and then like something
Like that happens. You can't defend yourself. You know, what happened was embarrassing
Your team choked they choked hard. How do you think I feel about the fucking Giants right now? I'm just like, yep
Fucking Daniel Jones reading the defense where he's just like they zoom in on his camera
On the camera on the defense. He's down by like 30
He's just like he's reading the defense and like trying to figure out like make adjustments of the goal line
He's looking at the defense is like
It's like this guy is getting paid 45 million dollars a year
And they paid him I know and I'm pissed they franchise tag seq one. Yeah. Yeah, so
He doesn't he's gonna leave at the end of this. Yeah, the Johnny's still good. Yeah
He's not trying right now. No, he's not. He's like, why would I try?
He's like you fucking put a you put fucking the money on fucking Daniel Jones
Instead of sake one when sake one is the ones you should have put the fucking money on and Daniel Jones was not nearly
This bad last year. No, no, he wasn't he wasn't good by any stretch
He's kind of got a real fun is serviceable. Did he get like a fucking brain damage or something?
Like if you built like a solid team around him, he can win. Yes Super Bowl
Yeah, he's just like he's not like fucking elite. He's not he's not he's not a playmaker
But if you get open, he'll throw the ball to you
Like Eli was the perfect amount of retarded for the Giants like yeah, he was like
Like he didn't like react to pressure because he was too stupid. Yeah, and that's what the Giants need at that point
That's the thing that pissed me off is like there's always the argument of like who is better of the draft class of 2004
You got Philip Rivers Eli Manning and Ben Ben Roethlisberger and everybody's like everybody always says big Ben and Eli because of the stats
But if you look at Philip Rivers, he has better stats than them in every single category in a shitty team
Yeah, and shitty team year after year and everybody shits on him
Like he fucking played against the Patriots on a torn ACL
He's the only quarterback in NFL history to have played a game with an active torn ACL
Yeah, and it's like he just put a knee brace on and he's like well if you put the back up in
We're done like I'll do respect. He's a nice guy, but he ain't gonna win the game
He's fucking like he started more games than any quarterback in a row in NFL history. Yeah
So he never was injured Eli actually got drafted by the Chargers. Yeah, no, he was drafted first overall
for the Chargers
No, sorry
He was drafted fourth overall in the 2004 draft by the Chargers
And then the Giants drafted Philip Rivers
And then they traded
Yes, and Eli Manning
What a weird parallel universe that was Ben
Which is really really weird because you want to know who the Chargers quarterback was at the time
Who?
Drew Brees
Right, oh I forgot about that
And he was really good and nobody understood why the Chargers were like dude what the fuck
Like you have a Pro Bowl coach, you have a Pro Bowl coach, you have a Pro Bowl coach
You have a Pro Bowl quarterback
Super Bowl winning quarterback eventually
Yeah dude that dude had his own Cinderella story with fucking Hurricane Katrina and bringing that city back to life
That was a miracle on ice and football
Like that's like the thing that I'm saying though
And the Chargers traded him
Yeah, but like that's the thing that's the thing that I'm like talking about like with like the stories that happen with sports like
Fucking New Orleans needed that fucking needed that fucking boost
Like they were fucking they had Hurricane Katrina everything was fucked and the fucking
Then the fucking uh the Saints that fucking got kicked the shit kicked out of them constantly
They went to Super Bowl for that fucking city and that city went fucking nuts
Yeah and the weird thing is is that Drew Brees was young too
Like he was what any team would see as a franchise quarterback
Like the guy you want to build your team around
Train man's gonna be like this episode sucks
Whatever
You can get over it
Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure a couple people listen to the pay attention to football
Like yeah bro. I listen to football
Dude fuck off
Talking about which CC was like Alex you like the first year we were together you watched every single Yankees game
What happened this year? I'm like, well, babe, they fucking suck
We went to a Yankees game this year
They had the worst first inning and baseball goes back like over 100 years as
I hope we all know yeah, but um the Yankees had their worst first inning since 1960
At the game we went to they were playing the Minnesota Twins and the ex-Astro the ex-cheating
Astro Carlos Correa led the game off with a first pitch home run
And from that point on it was just like oh my god, this was the same holiday holiday. I'm talking like a British person
This was the first vacation I went on with her in New York City
The one we were talking about about that out there
And we went to this game and it was just like by the end of the first game by the end of the first thing
It was nine zero and she's like, oh my god. I'm sorry. It's such a rough start to the game
I want to go I want to leave no and she was like why are you in a bad mood?
I was like babe
Like I get it. I know you don't understand but like I'm embarrassed to be
In the stadium right now like this if I was hurts if I went to that if I went to that Giants Cowboys game
Like that for the first one of the season if I were at the stadium, I would have left. Yeah, I would have been like
Well, I did I did leave the Yankees game in this and she's like do you want to stay?
I'm like my line and she she makes fun of me to this to this day
But my like one liner in this situation because I'll pissed off. I wasn't like babe if we stay till the end of this game
That bar is gonna run out of beer
She was like
Yeah, why don't we just like why don't we just get dinner?
Somewhere like let's try to find a rooftop bar. Other rooftop bars were closed. We ended up at some dive by her house
Just drinking Coors lights out of a bottle just fucking angry
When I ended up doing actually for that. Great. I did uh, it's stupid. It is it is stupid
How you let sports teams affect you this way, but when they win man, you're like it's the high the highs the highs
The lows are low
Yeah, like nobody's gonna talk shit about you because like they know you're not a bandwagon
Like they know you're not a bandwagon fan
They know you've been rooting for this team for years and it's like as much as you want to fucking just hate them
Because there's always the team that wins the super bowl or the world series or whatever no matter what there's just always
People that are so hateable on the team. Yeah, like tom brady was great at that
He was such a good villain. Like yeah, like and like that's that's another thing with the sports
You have like the hero and villain stories. Yeah, like a rod was a villain poppy was a villain
But like if you rooted for that team, you're like, I love yeah, I thought that's my fucking dude
He pisses people off. Yeah
Like if you look at like tom brady fucking villain fucking jj watt fucking hero
Yeah, like it's very rare that you see like true winners that when a lot of games get that hero status like jj
Watt is a rare one. He like because that dude he would like not just like do the football
He like fucking did everything for houston. Yeah, like fucking like did everything for houston. They had like people like fucking
Michael straight hand like fucking hero status like but but like
I'm talking like you got to think like
Super stardom like there's three that I can think of in our time that reach that status and that's michael jordan
Yep, actually there's four you got michael jordan
Obviously, yeah, derrick jeter because like they're just class act people like they're just well jordan talks shit
But jordan was also just the best that ever played the game and then he has yeah
Shoes and shit. Yeah, like and like jeter wasn't the best that ever played the game, but you're just such a good sport
Like jordan is still a household name. Yeah hasn't been in the league for what like yeah
Yeah, and like people are like oh lebron's better and it's like in the back of your mind. Everybody knows it's like nah
It's like it's michael jordan. It's like oh, yes. Does he have does he have a fucking billion dollar shoe company?
Well, actually lebron does yes, he does now yeah, yeah
He is through nike. Yeah, but like but like jordan has jordan's jordan's yeah jordan's signature, but it's it's not even just the shoes though
It's just like he was undisputably the greatest of all time and with jeter
He wasn't the greatest of all time, but he was a ridiculously good player that like he was just respectful
He wasn't like he would never talk shit
He would just like play his game and even if he got beat by him
He'd just be like fuck. He can't be mad at the guy. Like he's just good. He's just a good guy
He got him and then there's two others I can think of and I think casey can name them both. They're both soccer players
recently
Who are two players that you just I don't know messy messy. That's what yeah, that's the list of the two
I think it's because like ronaldo. He's not same thing. He's not the greatest of all time, but he's just like you gotta love him
And then messy he has that greatest of all time argument
But like I want to talk about villains too like the sports villains
Sports villains are a special thing. Yeah, curry has fallen under that category before fucking brady brady
Mike tyson mike tyson mike tyson everybody who was in that fucking patrick mahomes is starting to get that villain that villain
Yeah, travis kelsey. Absolutely. Oh, yeah, especially since he started dating taylor swett
Because now everybody everybody kind of hated him before yeah
Unless you were a chiefs fan because the dude is just so full of himself
But now that he's dating Taylor, he's dating the guy he's dating
He's so full of himself, but now that he's dating taylor swift and there's like all these girls that pretend
They like the nfl. It just makes him so easily hateable
You fucking hate that guy like there's like special ones like tyson was like he wasn't just a villain
He was a fucking monster. Yeah, he was a boogeyman the mcgregor mcgregor was in that category
Man of like the fucking like like there's people who are like the boogeyman of their sports
like tyson
Everybody was afraid of him like like even like even outside of the ring people were terrified of mike tyson
Like mcgregor he's kind of got like that like that like that that love but like he's not at that level that tyson was like
Even outside the ring. You're just like mike tyson can fucking kill me
Yeah, I always think of being a yankees fan growing up david ortiz
Um, like when you were a yankees fan and they was like like especially back in that golden era when you got like fucking
like a rod the the red sox got like um,
dustin pedroya
Fucking dice k matzoozaka like they had like this stock team of people that were the
Fucking red sox and this isn't even just me
It's just like the yankees get like that cowboys title in the mlb because it's like oh, yeah
They have the biggest fan base and it's like really not that good. Obviously. It's hard to justify like for us
It's not hard to justify because we live in fucking new york. You can root for that team like sure
They're usually pretty good. But like you also live there like I grew up at yankees fan. I was never anything else
Yeah, but it's like the red sox are so good at building a hateable roster
Of just people that look like those fucking asshole bostonians like they look like massholes
They always have a bunch of white dudes with red beards
And then there's one just they always just have one
Brolic black dude that just picks fights with everyone and it's just like they are so hateable
David or tz is the most showboaty like fucking like but he's also like outside of the game
He's respectful and he's funny. But when he's in the game, you can tell he's just a fucking warrior. He's goblin mode
No, you know goblin mode, you know who else fucking got villain status who fucking uh, goddamn
What was his name the quarterback for the seahawks that went to the broncos? Oh
Russell wilson. Yeah, he like he went for my hero status the villain status
I think I I don't know because it was just like I feel like most people are actually pretty happy for him
Because it's like you he caught so much shit for that
Superbowl against the patriots and then the next year how they just fucking waffle stomped the broncos
It was just like it's patrick's another villain. Yeah, like the cocky. Oh, uh
Young kid. I don't think ryan fitzpatrick is he don't he doesn't fit the villain role because he was never a good quarterback, but
Every time when people are like oh, he's gonna retire
He's he would get a job as a backup quarterback on the team their starter would go down
And then you could just and it would just be this dogshit team that he'd lead to like four or five wins in a row
And then the team would stall out but year after year just on a different team
He would make this thing like fitzpatrick's fucking good again, and he just looks and he just knew he was a meme
He's just wearing these big sunglasses. He grows out this fucking beard
He's like he would just look like your most stereotypical white dude that just wants to like have a bonfire and get drunk every weekend
Like he just was like, oh, yeah
Yeah, I know I ain't good but like you see what I did the last couple weeks
Can go either way like he's kind of in his forming phase
I feel like he can go as a as a bills like not fan but sympathizer because of my whole family
I fucking hate job or off your bills sympathizer bills
I'm a bill sympathizer because like they go through so much hurt and I want to
Build sympathizers, but I'm also a Giants fan. So it doesn't really matter for that. But like I'm a bill sympathizer as well
I remember my dad the whole time I was growing up when the charges were good
But they weren't like they like they were making playoffs every year and they weren't winning a Super Bowl
My dad would get so pissed off at me because he'd be like, oh my team hasn't made the fucking playoffs in 12 years
Like my my I watched I watched four
consecutive Super Bowls get lost by my team like you can't complain about your team getting eliminated in the play
Why don't you just stop watching then?
Yeah, I get it from that argument too
But it was just like the longest time my dad gave me shit about being a Chargers fan
Until he finally realized like one time like now that the bills are starting to get good again
And he had watched me watch so many Chargers game
He's like how like I know you haven't made it to the Super Bowl
But like I'm starting to realize the that the Chargers are just as bad at choking as the bills
He's like you guys really do lose in like humiliating ways
Like it has to be hard to root for them
Giants fan is is the funniest fan group because even the NFL like like like teams
There's like the Giants are the only team that booze their own team like you hear like guys man's going
Like if the Giants don't win a Super Bowl they're garbage
Yeah, disgraceful fuck you if the Giants do in a Super Bowl, they're like you're gonna do it again next year, right?
Like you can't win as a Giants player. You're like it's like either you win the Super Bowl and they're like, alright good
That's what you're supposed to do now do it again or you're fucking awful
You shouldn't even be in the do the loudest booze. I have heard in my entire life
We're at that Yankees game that I went to with my girlfriend and Carlos Correa
Hit a second home run in the second inning to make it 10 nothing
Because it was like alright, maybe we'll bounce back
We'll hang out for one inning like who knows like the the Yankees haven't even came up to bat yet
And they went like one two three like three outs didn't get a hit and it's like no
We're just gonna fucking lose this game brutally. So Correa comes out of how pissed off he was
Yeah, and I was at the game and I remember that was actually so I didn't talk to Goodman for fucking
since that whole thing went down here and I remember he texted me because he was at the game too and
Like now me and him are chill again because like it's like a shared trauma
Being at that game because he's like dude. I'm in the box seats
Like I didn't know you were here and then like I just texted him back and it was like dude
This is hard to watch. He's like I know
It was like I'm depressed man. It's like yeah, dude, like we really came up here from fucking Albany
I mean we really came down here from Albany and this is what happened
And it's like then I got to deal with my girlfriend like being like, oh well, I bought the tickets
I really thought it was gonna be a good time
And it's like then you got to be like no I had a great time on yeah. No, no, it's really good
It's really good. No, it's fantastic
So the next day we fucking wake up and
We hang out with her cousin for a little bit. We smoke. I have a borderline panic attack. I
I don't know why then the cousin takes too long to drop us off at the 911 Memorial and
We're five minutes too late to go on a tour of it. And that was like our whole plan for the day
So like the whole trip was just a wash the two things
I really wanted to do just went horribly wrong and she's like, oh, I'm so sorry
Like I really wish you had a good time
it's like
Then you just gotta like do that man thing. You got a man up and lie, bro
You could get a man up and lie and say that
Joseph Pfeiffer
Shut the fuck up, but you just gotta pretend you had a good time. It's like oh no
Oh, no, that's so great. And then like I find myself like
Looking forward to getting Chick-fil-a when I get back to New Jersey
It's like well at least I got to go to Chick-fil-a
Chick-fil-a it's if that's your thought coming back from a vacation it went bad
At least I got to have Chick-fil-a
They saw the shake machine wasn't working
Well now we got chick-fil-a
Now we do Casey. Do you think we should have a break and come back?
Yeah, I don't think we I don't think we should end it. I think we need to get off the topic of sports though
Because Casey has been removed he's just been entirely Casey is just a host without a mic right now
Look bro sports are just they're just god damn it Tyler Tyler we fucked this up
Tyler we should have shut up a while ago god damn. I enjoyed the last hour and a half of my life
No, you didn't I did
You sound like me fucking trying to calm my girlfriend down after they made this trip right now
No, you did not enjoy yourself. You're just trying to lie to me
It's one of those things like we're almost at 1 a.m.
Oh my god, it's almost 1. Yeah, so I'm like I think it might be time to wrap up
What how many hours we got in this? Oh two and a half. Yeah, that's about right. I can't
In any event like us on Facebook and Twitter and send us an email god damn it
We know you're listening
Hit that subscribe button. We're still waiting on our actual we got first real
What we had 300 views last week or something, right? It's all by bots. It's gotta be
Until we get a legit email not one that has been
Noticed by somebody we have had as a guest on our show. I don't believe it's all
I think it's all fake until we get an email. So send a fucking email. What is it Untitled podcast?
What number 73 Untitled podcast 73 at gmail.com?
Mmm, send it please
If I fucking hang myself from a ceiling fan, it will be your fault
So like just send the email, I don't know
It's not too fucking hard. Like I'm not asking so the fucking email just fucking send it like seriously like I don't want to
They did
Can you can you picture my girlfriend's puppy dog eyes the Yankees game?
Imagine that if I killed myself and that'll be on your conscience if you didn't send the email
So like just like just something you know, just things got real dark
Well, I think we should wrap this up with a Tyler BLS
War story, I will literally kill myself
I got these people in my medic class that are fucking trauma dumping right and they've been EMTs for like a week
And I'm thinking in my mind and I'm texting my buddy who I've been friends with for a couple years and he's like a medic
Who's done like fuck?
Well, he's an army medic who has done like three tours in Iraq and we're just texting one another back and forth and he's like
It's like I could fucking say I could tell her a story right now. That would make her cry
It was like you think she wants to hear about Albany during like the BLM rallies
Like hey, do you think this chick has ever heard it? What do you think this chick knows what K2 is?
Then my buddy texts back. He's like, do you think she knows what an RPG 7 looks like?
Like you're just gonna cut half
Exactly
Oh my god, it was so funny fetus melt in your head
Yeah, and then she's like bragging about how she goes to therapy and stuff and like don't get me wrong
I fully support mental health and I don't like fuck therapy therapies for nerds
No, don't be a man. No, man do a lot of drugs fucking go out with bang two drugs snork
vitamin b12
B1
Sign up for World War three as always yes be kind to yourself and each other fuck off
For all we know robots have souls we just don't know if they do or don't how do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones to inhabit this planet
No, no we are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole yes
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts
Oh, they're killing already born babies and sell them to the Chinese
Somewhere in China, all right in some days what the fuck there are super soldiers that are at least
9 or 10 feet tall super soldiers then they are extraterrestrials they are aliens
Before my eyes while holding their pulse feel them die of this virus you feel bump bump bump
nothing they're fucking gone I've seen it happen I think that the government has
taken it to the next level with the birds
They know what birds are going to cross paths with you that you are going to be able to raise and they are gonna make you
They know what birds are going to cross paths with you that you are going to be able to raise and they are gonna make them so fucking real
They're gonna sink money into them because they know that if you put that motherfucker in a cage they're gonna be able to convince you that thing is fucking real
You can cut it open you're gonna see blood guts no circuitry, but let me tell you their technology
is absolutely vile which by the way big brother is the overlord kid we're only living in the third dimension
George Soros is an actual Nazi collaborator okay I'm not fucking lying it's fucking real okay look it up look it up he says that he was doing this shit
George Soros actually worked with the fucking Nazis during the Holm he says that he was doing it just to survive
but he fucking loves it he was having a great fucking time George Soros is the fucking devil okay he's not fucking doing this shit
George Soros is the fucking leader he's the actual fucking leader for all this shit he's fucking fucked down a whole bunch of shit
he's fucking fucked down a whole bunch of shit just don't fucking get it everybody's like oh Donald Trump the fucking word person out there, Donald Trump right? Donald Trump he's not the actual fucking leader it's George Soros it's Bill Gates it's fucking Elon Musk it's everyone out there everybody's like oh
everybody's like oh Elon Musk is so cool he made like a place for himself the actual government is just crying the actual new government which is George Soros and all these fucking Nazis are actually the ones that are just fucking all of them
the beer policies are paid off by the fucking billionaires the pain fucking falls on the people