The following program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
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This program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
Intro go.
This is a long ass intro.
Welcome to the fucking Untitled Podcast.
Episode 41.
Bitch.
We got nine more for the big five zero.
Yeah.
I'm Casey. I'm here with Dan and Tyler.
Yo.
Yo, what up?
We're on a roundabout today. Hit that smelling salt, boy.
All right. Hold on. Hold on. Here I go.
Oh, man.
We're jumping into it already.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Stop. Stop that.
Oh.
Stop. You only need to do it once.
Holy shit.
All right.
Welcome to this lovely episode of the NPR Public Radio.
NPR. Yeah.
NPR is for fucking.
Brought to you by.
I fucking love NPR.
What?
Yeah. It's liberal.
I used to love it. I had an NPR bumper sticker.
Brought to you by aliens, which now apparently exist.
Yeah. Aliens confirmed to exist by government hearings.
Dude, can we just talk about that one?
What is she a congress person or say no, the one that was like doing the hearing?
I didn't actually see the Ms.
Mase. Her name is. Yeah.
It's kind of a fucking babe.
I didn't care. I don't give a fuck if there's aliens.
I didn't see this this hearing.
No, there are aliens. We saw one the other day or fucking a couple.
Who's way? Who's we?
Me and you. We went on our little adventure.
There were some aliens there.
Aliens? Yeah, bro.
Where? At the fucking club, bro.
Oh, yeah. There's one alien.
No, there's multiple aliens.
Would you go to the club?
The fucking the club of the strips.
Was that here we go again?
No, no, no.
It is open till 4 a.m. today.
That wants to go back.
All right. We'll go back if you win trivia today.
All right. This is what I want to know.
Did the government confirm aliens exist?
Here's what happened.
Pardon our shitty ass studio.
It's a fucking basement.
I really want to get.
Hey, listeners at home, I know there's like at least one person out there who's listening.
Would you like to see?
We've been tossing around the idea of using our phones as cameras and then kind of splicing together like a YouTube video type thing.
If if you if you think that's a cool idea, please email us, please.
For God sakes, just email one email.
I don't care if you sign us up for spam.
Just give us one fucking email.
We're begging you fucking hacker account podcast.
73 at Gmail.com.
Fuck. Can we just check it?
Like since we always forget until the very end, let's just try to let's open up the email.
See if we got anything.
All right. But here this is what I was reading here.
Witnesses testified that the government has been aware of nonhuman activity since the 1930s.
So they actually went to the Senate and and testified that aliens existed or like the government acknowledged it.
Right. Tom was right.
We all apology.
Yeah, I'll fucking check the email, bro.
But yeah, the whole thing with like aliens and shit.
Did I ever give you my my theory that aliens don't exist?
They're just human time travelers.
Yeah. Oh, dude, I totally believe that.
Yeah, I think that's what it is because, you know, I think that we should get into this.
I love the ambience of the fucking vents.
It's really the vents.
Yeah, the furnace furnace.
Yeah, I love the ambience of that.
We didn't get any emails.
Well, you sure? Yeah.
Fuck.
Anywho. So my actual theory with that shit, because I've heard I've seen it from other people, but I tend to believe this one is that
aliens actually don't exist.
It's just human time travelers from the future that that come back in these futuristic fucking like ships
because in theory for a time to time travel, you need to go faster than the speed of light.
And you need a object that's like a metal object that can pierce through the speed of light because
in theory, the speed of light is like a wall because you think nothing can go faster than the speed of light.
So going past the speed of light would be physically or like it would be like like actually impossible to do.
But if you're able to do it, you puncture through like the wall of light and then go to somewhere else.
Kind of like we don't know what's inside a black hole because we just assume that it's a bunch of gravity because like even light can't escape a black hole.
Matthew McConaughey is inside of Matthew McConaughey is inside of black hole.
But like we don't know what's inside of black.
Like we assume that it just gets everything gets destroyed, but it could be a fucking wormhole to another fucking entire universe
because there's things out there in space that are so incomprehensible to us right now that we're just like, we guess it's this right.
Like like a black hole.
If you think about a black hole, it's almost incomprehensible.
It has so much quote unquote gravity.
We don't even know if it's that, but whatever it is, it's so fucking like dense that it eats stars.
Yeah, and it like not even light can escape it.
Like what the fuck is that?
Like I can't even like wrap my head around a fucking like thing that can eat stars and then just have nothing like like it doesn't like shoot out like like a like a spark.
It just eats a star and it's gone.
Well, but it's going somewhere.
But the thing is like every like that, like in science, like we're like even like it was like fucking like sixth grade science energy can't be destroyed.
It has to go somewhere.
Right. So where the fuck does that energy from from a star getting eaten by a black hole going into another dimension?
Yeah, it's part of the black hole, which comes one with the black hole.
It makes it makes you wonder if the whole purpose of our dimension isn't just to create energy and it's some sort of generator for something else in another realm.
So that's my whole like we're on a microscopic level to them.
Well, I just theory existing in a nuclear reaction.
Well, so somewhere I actually this is a funny theory that I came across.
Like, you know how I think the simulation theory is like a big thing now, like how like everything's like like a simulation and it doesn't like it's not like real.
I feel like that buddy.
I got depersonalization.
I got I got news for you.
If something if you think something is a simulation and it had to be created by something.
So that something is God or it could be other another species of people or aliens.
What if we're a simulation in the side of the video game and we have consciousness, you know, we have we make AI we can make sentient AI think that they have consciousness.
So I think we're a snow globe on some kids fucking why can't we be sentient AIs made by aliens?
Like what would you do if we were actually just in a snow globe or we could be non sentient AIs like Ali?
But the thing is so much he's got here is he so he's going to take he he's going to take heat because he fucking God damn it.
How he met come on man the government don't work in we got to get a fucking cardboard cut out of each of us.
And when one of us doesn't show up, we just put the cardboard cut out there.
I actually looked it up and getting a cardboard cut out of a person like a customized one is only like, you know, 70 bucks.
I'm surprised it's not 20 bucks.
No, but like you could get like one 70s fucking most most of the time it would just be Ali Max.
We just need to we need to purchase an Ali Mac one.
But like we fucking I very rarely very rarely miss a podcast episode. I think I missed like what like four in total.
So the government says that UFOs pose a threat to national security.
God, you know what? They pose a threat to is the power structure that exists because they're more powerful.
Oh, I like your shirt. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I got the I want to believe shirt on.
It's awesome to match the poster on the wall. But I think it threatens the status quo.
It threatens the power that the governments hold over the people because if there's something more badass than the governments out there, shit, that's a problem.
So this is what my thoughts are, because with all this shit like worldwide cranking up like type thing like like the like the wars and shit are all cranking up and like doing all that.
The only country that that actively has a UFO in quote unquote like custody or in like in like our in like our thing, because in the hearings, they said we had three.
The United States itself had three since the 1930s. So we've been fucking we have been reverse engineering alien technology since the nineteen fucking thirties.
And just imagine every because night vision like, you know, like the like the night vision, like the IR like film stuff that we have that is theorized and semi confirmed now that that was actually alien technology.
Like because humans before like guess what? Guess when night vision was was quote unquote founded like 1940 right after the Roswell incident.
Right. So well, they say the same thing with what is it? It's diodes. Yeah.
Say diodes came from Roswell because if you look at it like diodes are like the absolute big like the biggest breakthrough in technology since like ever. Yeah. Basically ever.
Like it doesn't seem like it. Right. Like you think like other things are are more important than the diodes are fucking super.
Do they allow digital technology? We wouldn't have anything digital. Everything would still be analog. Yeah. Yeah. I bet there's tons of technology that comes from aliens like fucking planes, fucking guns, missiles.
So what I got, let me I just I want to finish the finish the thing. I got off track again. I like I always do. But I find yourself, Tyler and each other.
Yeah. But like I think that just imagine being another country that doesn't have like alien technology.
They haven't been reverse engineering. And then you find out your enemy country has been reverse engineering fucking alien technology for the last like 100 years. Right.
Like I think it's a kind of a scare tactic type thing. And that's what I was thinking. Like we're like, yeah, it's like, hey, guys, you know, since the 1930s, we've been reverse engineering alien technology and we haven't even shown you what we fucking have.
And like the way that they describe these fucking ships, every single one of them had cloaking technology. Every single one of them had like the like invisible cloaking technology on it.
And almost every single one of them, they said that there was three ships that they had. There was one that they got at Roswell, which was a square, like a clear almost like glass square.
But it was like super hard like glass. It wasn't like glass that we had with a black circle in the middle of it. And it just like kind of floated around in a solid like glass box.
Dude, that's so fucking crazy. Like these scientists trying to reverse engineer this shit.
How do you think they got here though? We can't see aliens or any signs of alien lives on anything that we can physically see. So how did they fucking get here?
That's the scary thing is, is like fucking also that's the most American thing on the fucking in the entire planet. A fucking alien fucking thing crash lands. We're like, kill it, take it.
Like if they crash landed like anywhere like England or something, they'd be like, hello, are we are you OK?
Americans like, kill it.
Take it out.
Paul, get the shotgun. It's one of them aliens.
Like from back to the future.
You goddamn alien piece of shit.
And then he when he's pulling away, he takes out the pine.
But can you imagine if just like, think if you could take your cell phone and show somebody back from like the 1500s, they would kill you.
You can take it and it wouldn't do anything because there's no network. Right.
I mean, there's still enough shit on here because you can still take pictures.
Right. So as long as the battery is working, you showed somebody a picture.
You could if you're showing people pictures on this one, you'd be hung.
Right. Are they taking the guillotine? Right. Because they would say that this is witchcraft because they don't understand how it works.
So they would try and fuck with it and see what they could do with it.
I mean, that's pretty much what we do. And that's what we're doing with the alien technology.
We're just fucking with it. So if it is us from the future, it would be like somebody from the 1500s fucking with a cell phone.
Exactly. But also the things was like at first, because I watched a like, did you ever see the Joe Rogan episode where like the guy who worked on these?
These alien crafts like like did like research on them was talking about it.
Bob Lazar. Yeah. And the thing is, in the hearings, they almost said verbatim the exact ships that he was talking about in the Joe Rogan podcast.
So I feel like that leads a little more credibility to it.
Oh, he said, like when they first found it, they were like, what do we do with this thing?
This is what he said in the hearings. No, he wasn't there.
But like, like, oh, Bob Lazar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, it killed like three people that try to touch it because it was like radiation, like off the fucking charts.
Yeah. And I'm like, so he's like, yeah, it's like six people died immediately.
Like, we're looking at this. Yeah, that's what he said. Dude, this guy was like, he's been saying the same story for like 30 years.
He said he worked at Area 51. Oh, he's like, there's nothing in Area 51 anymore.
He's like, they took that shit. Oh, he said that? Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's not really fazed by the whole thing either.
No, he's just kind of matter of fact about it. He's just like, yeah, I worked. I worked at Los Alamos Labs.
And he just says, like, we really didn't understand the technology. He said one of the crafts they found at an archaeological dig.
Oh, like it. So it didn't crash land or it may have, but it was like 2000 years ago.
You know what I mean? And so they're trying to reverse engineer the technology.
And I mean, dude, why would they tell anybody about it if they were doing that?
Maybe they check up on us over 2000 years. See how we're doing. I don't know. Yeah.
People are afraid of things they don't understand. And so if the government or if people knew that aliens were in fact real.
You want to know what's crazy? We know the thing to think about. Like if like the time travelers from the future were like, I want to see the Roswell incident.
I want to see what actually happens. And they were the Roswell incident. What do you mean?
Like, you know how like how like we're saying that it might be like time travelers from the future.
And like these guys are like, I actually want to see what if there were actual aliens, the Roswell incident.
And they are the ones that actually crash landed there. Right.
And there's like, fuck, because they said the biology, like the biological, like things that they found there were in the human genome.
Really? Yeah. No, that's what it said in the hearing.
I remember that specifically in there. And I thought that was the craziest part because like they were like, they're like, so did you find biological material?
And they're like, and like the guy like doing the hearing thing kind of did like one of the easiest, like we found biological material.
It was extraterrestrial in origin with human genomes.
And I'm like, what the fuck, bro? What if there's fucking a robot aliens? That's probably what it is like a like they don't have to aliens.
They don't necessarily have to be made of biological material. I was watching another fucking I think it was another Joe Rogan episode.
But I remember some guy was talking about how the gray aliens are actually biological androids that we use that like future people use to travel faster than the speed of light because our bodies couldn't handle it.
So they put a human consciousness inside a biological Android that could it's just like VR. Yeah, but that's just the sensor. Yeah, which will our our consciousness will eventually be uploaded into VR into a computer someday.
But like, like, because maybe they need a physical like it needs a physical body to that's what Michio Kaku said.
Because they need like a physical body to get to where it's at. But a human body couldn't take going faster than the speed of light. But a quote unquote the gray aliens because almost every single like citing quote unquote of aliens has always they've been like the grays like the big ass fucking head with a huge eyes and shit.
It's still humanoid though. So it's like if you put a human consciousness inside a biological Android, it's like it's it's it's it's like a a made human like it's a homunculus type thing.
And it was like made to be a basically a suit or like a like a thing that you could put your consciousness in and actually travel to pass the speed of light because our our human bodies aren't capable of it.
So the gray body or the the the the alien grays would be able to handle that. So I think that's that's more plausible to me than like aliens like being out there. If like future people put our put consciousness into like a biological Android is the best way I could put it because it's like it's not human.
But it was made by humans, but it's not a robot. So it's a biological Android because an Android is a made like robot human. But any biological Android would be a human.
It's like an esk thing that is like has like living tissue and shit, but it's not a robot. So it'd be like a biological Android. So I think that the grays could be a biological Android doesn't have to be like future people could be just like humanoids on other planets currently right now with better technology.
So also picture this right. Think think of where we're going and the technologies are coming that are going to intersect. Right. Yeah. So Elon Musk's Neuralink. Right. What does it do. It's chipping your brain. That's all I know.
Well it's it's an interface between humans and technology. Yeah. Right. And what's the other thing that's everybody scared of right now with technology fucking I don't know. Yeah sentience. Yeah. Yeah. So what we're worried I become worried that where we may give computers consciousness.
Right. Yeah. And on the other end where we're integrating computers with humans. True. Okay. That's a big fucking problem. And then you think about that and Elon Musk is one of the whistleblower saying hey AI has got to be stopped.
Right. Because he's always thinking 20 steps ahead. All right. So he owns a company that integrates computers with humans. Okay. And he sees a thing that then why is he still do it. Well he's not just going to waste time everybody to stop the AI because he sees he sees the accident ahead.
Right. He sees what we're running into. He's like fuck I have this fucking 30 billion dollar company. Elon Musk is the visionary of the future. No but do you think I mean he owns he owns Tesla he owns narrow link he owns SpaceX.
I'm pretty sure he's got he owns okay he owns 1% of the wealth of the United States. Yeah. So I'm pretty sure he is a visionary. So let's let's let's say we are 200 years down the line we're all dead.
Do you think people are going to look at Elon like people look at Nikola Tesla or. Oh dude I think I think he's going to have a legacy in the top 10.
People say so you think he's going to be like an Einstein like level or I think Tesla. No I think he's going to be Howard Hughes like a Rockefeller type he's already at Howard Hughes level. Yeah.
And he's probably going to surpass him. Howard Hughes didn't do anything on the level of Elon Musk. I mean he did like planes and shit but likes I mean which is like similar to Elon Musk doing SpaceX now.
But Elon Musk is just dude he's got his hands in so many things. Yeah he's next level. He so he started AI that chat GPT Elon Musk Tesla Elon Musk SpaceSask Elon Musk Neuralink Elon Musk PayPal.
PayPal Elon Musk the guy doesn't stop a lot of people have ideas right. Like you might be in the shower fucking you know washing your fucking nuts and you might come up with a good idea. How are you going to do it though.
Well no you might come up with 10 good ideas in the fucking shower. All right. And then those are like you put them out there in the world and their shit ideas right. They actually their flops. Yeah.
This guy doesn't have a lot of flops dude. I mean he does have some flops. He's not like perfect. He bought fucking Twitter like that's the other thing like and then they get right. And then they asked him they're like oh don't you care about the how what a loss of money this is this wasn't an investment.
He goes I don't care. I don't care about money. I do not care. It was for freedom of speech had nothing like drooling hands. They had nothing to do with with money. I don't care. Like bro that's a different kind of person.
Somebody that'll take a two hundred and fifty six million dollar hit or whatever it was. That's he's a different kind of person. He's top 10. He's gonna be top 10 people that have ever ever listed. Yeah he'll go down. He will go down in history as as an absolute outlier and a visionary.
I mean people fucking didn't didn't respect Tesla until like fucking a hundred years after his death. Right. He's a quack. Yeah. So like and then they're like but wait a second Tesla was on to some shit like you also got a look. He are you fucking drinking wine.
That's fucking Pinot Noir with ice in it. Are you fucking high. That's pretty rough. That's funny. No I don't like fucking fucking warm. I don't blame you.
You gotta get in the frame. Yeah. Fucking Neanderthal. So you don't think Elon Musk is a visionary. No I think he's a fucking idiot. All right. So let me explain something. All right. Before we go any further. All right. He owns 1% of the wealth of the United States. Oh my god.
So he started he started the largest electric car company in the world. He owns SpaceX started SpaceX started narrow link started the boring company which nobody even talks about to make tunnels underneath major cities and flamethrowers owns Twitter started pay
bail. Dude most people couldn't start a fucking landscaping business in their life and make it successful like 90% of people have to work for somebody else. Oh you mean X it's changed to X now. Right. So you don't think fuck is that you don't think he's a visionary. No I think he's stupid.
I don't I'm pretty sure you can't do that. If you're stupid and his IQ is like a hundred and fifty. So I'll give you an idea of what of how smart he is right. The average patrol officers IQ is a hundred. Okay, so he has one. Okay, so
depending local cops, maybe ninety that's like patrol officers are like borderline like non sentient now. No eighty eighty. I thought eighty is profound retardation. What do you think about it just slightly? What's profound retardation? I it's below eighty. I think you're below sixty. I think anybody with an IQ of less than eighty. It's illegal for them to be allowed in the military really. Yes. So you have taken an IQ test to be in the military.
They don't do like a full. I ever did take one and then it was below eighty and you tried to get in the military. I know I went to join United States. What do you think Ali Max IQ is? I would say Ali Max. He's a hundred. Now he's a smart guy. I was just not mean average. I would say Ali Mac is maybe one oh five.
Let's sign. All right. So the average RN is one hundred and twenty four. All right. One hundred and yeah. One hundred and twenty four. So RNs are registered. Yeah. Registered nurses are pretty low. An EMT. Well, it's probably around the same as an RN a little lower. Probably one hundred and ten. I think a medic. I think a medic would be around like the same as nurse. An EMT would probably be like one ten similar thing. Yeah. I looked that up. What's the average IQ of an EMT? I don't know if you'll find it, but that falls
under like those technical medical jobs. So it's like one hundred and twenty four. I don't know if you'll find stats on that. Yeah. That'd be tough because there's a range. Trust me. But the average IQ of a paramedic, the low on the low end is four point nine zero four point nine.
The average is as low as one oh four, but as high as one oh seven. That's a pretty narrow range between one oh four one oh seven. Pretty sure it's higher than that. Jobs that require an IQ of one twenty or above are school teachers, pharmacists, accountants, nurses and managers.
Well, yeah. What's Elon Musk's IQ? One hundred and fifty five fifty. Yeah. Einstein was one hundred and sixty. What is the average IQ of doctors? One twenty five. Wow. So it's like one point higher than nurses. Have you ever done the IQ test? Yeah, it was brutal.
I did one, too. I just like the free ones online or. Yeah, I did. I did an actual one. The pattern recognition is like, it fucks me up, dude. I started looking for like things that don't exist. Yeah. I got one hundred and twelve for my IQ.
Damn, that would be high average. Yeah, that's I'm looking at a thing right now. One twenty to one twenty nine is superior. One thirty to one forty four is gifted or very advanced. One forty five to one sixty is highly advanced. I am in the I'm in the above above normies, but not smart. No, nonsense. You're very smart.
I took a few. I got between like one thirty and one forty five. I was also really. Yeah, I was also sixteen. I'm still afraid to take it because it's gonna be like I was sixteen when I took it. So that might be I might be a little bit smarter now. I'm not sure. But it was like six to nine. Yeah, I think.
One like every now and then I should take one again. That should be one of the things like the homework for next episode is taken at taking at home IQ test and see what we get there. And I'd be what's the doesn't that's an episode of sign film visit. Yeah. Yeah, that's yeah.
of things like the homework for next episode is taking a taking at home IQ
test and see what we get. Dude, I'd be yeah. What's it doesn't? That's an
episode of Seinfeld. Is it? Yeah, yeah, George, he stands a lot. He cheats on
his IQ test
because his girlfriend was a psychologist and she was making him take
it. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, he was like getting answers from somebody out the
window.
Damn, yeah, I'm like too afraid to take it because I'm afraid of it's gonna be
like, what if you get like an IQ of like two hundred? God, no, that definitely
won't. What's a perfect IQ?
Is it? No, no perfect. Actually, like what's the highest you could possibly
get? There's actually no limit. Really? I think there's like a club of people
past a certain, and so it's a cause it's just like kind of an average based
on how many questions you get right and how long it takes you to get it. So
if you get all the questions right in five minutes, I guess you could get
like above a two hundred. So when I took a when I took it, when I took the
IQ test, my ADHD took over and I just started answering randomly.
So I probably had a higher IQ than I than I than I got because I was just
like I'm bored. What's this? Basically they take how many questions you get
right and kind of like multiply that in some way. How based on what how long it
takes? I thought I thought you only get like twenty minutes for it. You do, but
it factors in how much time it takes you to do it. So
I wonder if there's people that actually get to the end like because no, no, I
Q test that I took, I actually got to the end of
yeah.
Yeah, I like the end collects.
What do you mean? It's just like a stupid test like that. Like yeah, it like
the questions change based on what you get right and wrong. It's just stupid.
They started doing like fucking like insane pattern recognition and I'm just
like I'm just going to guess because I'm not trying on this part. You want to
know something crazy is
so Jordan Peterson talks about IQ and how it's like it's a better predictor
than I forget what he said. It's one of the best predictors of like lifetime
success, something like that. Yeah,
but
if you have ADD, Adderall actually raises your IQ by fifteen points up to fifteen
points, which is so if I took Adderall, I'd be in the fucking gifted area. Oh
dude, yeah, that's it. Fifteen points is an astronomical difference. It's not
even it's almost unrecognizable fifteen points. You know, like people with higher
IQs have higher rates of like depression, anxiety and like drug abuse. Well, yeah,
I know the saying ignorance is bliss. If you like, if you like the smell of
gasoline paint thinner and I think acetone, you are literally, I think it was
like something like a thousand times more likely to do hard drugs. Really? Yeah.
Well, that's an interesting statistic. That reminds me of when you went over there
and huffed the paint thinner. I don't do hard drugs though. Because I know I'd
like drugs too much, so I don't do them. I hate the smell of gasoline. Really?
Hate it. I love the smell of gas. Acetone fucking, fucking what's the fuck?
If you have ammonia smelling salts, you might be luckily too hard. Oh, oh,
red line, atomic rhino. Shout out. So I want to talk about fucking
Zach Bagans and Ghost Adventures, aka the best show that has ever been on television.
Oh, before you do that, let's let's let's let's let's you guys want to hear
something really fucking stupid this week, then we'll get them. Zach Bagans.
Okay, so you ever hear of the XXL Freshman Cypher? Yeah, it's like a thing
for new rappers. They do freestyle. It's progressively getting more and more
retarded. Yeah, and this year's was just awful, so I want to see if you guys can
rate these rappers that these new rappers this year,
like juice and like acts used to be on this. Yeah, excellent. He just made a
like a rap about killing people. This is Pierre born before came through with
them with all them cylinders off them niggas ain't never show no love. They
try to leave me in that mud. That's why he's not awful. This is trash.
Dude, man, they got trash.
Ghost came with the curtains bad. Hold. See me get nervous. Nigga. I know what
it takes. You want boss up from you got to rate this guy one to 10.
6.2.
I'd be around six. Yeah, I got no five.
I don't think he's good or bad. It gets real. This is straight.
Who the guy or the beat?
Yeah,
there's nothing original. It's just like
I just hope you know I heard, but if he said like a good rap, you could not
speak the language and just the sound of it. So you could jam to it. All right.
This is
this is sleazy world. Go. Wow.
All right, that's enough.
I'm good. All right. Yep. That was trash. Yeah, that's that's bad. Do do X's one
like not like the whole thing, but like X's freestyle. Oh yeah, that was good.
That was that was scary. He like talked about being a demon and shit.
Oh yeah, here's X. Look at my swag. Look at my bitch. Ugly God. I got my way.
Get on my day.
What a world ever has an apocalypse. I would kill all of you fuckers. They
will be plentiful. Death will be bountiful. I would spend none of you
peasants. Fuck your religion. Your pastor fuck isn't got sent to a prison
and PC. I seen the devil. He's in you with me. You need saving and listening
to this. See, follow him home. Cut the right corner so nobody sees you.
Turn off your phone. Leave it at home so nobody can trace you. Master
expressions appear to be called. They won't read your intentions. As soon
as you're in, let them all know who they're all in the presence of. I am
a murderer. I am a demon, the son of a serpent. What is your faith? What is
your worth? Have you felt acknowledging if I kill you now, will you go to
heaven? The hell you believe in that is approaching you 30 seconds. Think
before lying and blessy. Yeah, he just talks about like fucking beat out
fucking. I remember seeing that when it first came out and like exes just
hanging out in the corner the entire time, just like staring at the wall and
then he comes out with this murder fucking.
Those fucking rappers were all the same.
Damn, it's pretty. I don't know. There's nothing like that crazy about that.
Tupac. Yeah, it was retarded. Anyway, Ghost Adventures. Yeah, so Ghost
Adventures is one of the greatest shows that's ever been on TV and ever will
be on TV. Stars, our titular character, Zack Bagans, the main character of
Ghost Adventures and the main character of life itself. Zack Bagans. It's
Zack Bagans world. We're just living in it, you know, and Zack Bagans is a
guy from Las Vegas. He is, I think he's 50 now almost. He's almost 50. He has
a faux hawk. He wears Ed Hardy jeans and he has a giant cross tattoo on his
neck, hands and his back. So what would you say to people that think the
show's fake? Oh, there's it's absolutely fake, but it's one of the best shows
that I've ever seen because Zack Zack himself freaks himself out so much.
It's so fucking funny. Oh my God. If you ever seen an episode of Ghost
Adventures, you know exactly what I'm talking about. His girlfriend's pretty
hot. His wife. Oh, I think yeah, they just got married recently, but Zack
Bagans is fucking I think in September or October we should go do a ghost
hunt. Absolutely. I fucking we can go by the fucking Dan's house. Yeah, we go
to that that fucking rake area. All right.
We do one of these Thursdays. We all got to go. We'll meet up at like the
little preserve. We'll go during the day at first to kind of like, you know,
scope it out and then we'll go at night with flashlights and see what see what
we can see. I'm apprehensive, but OK, I'm going to fucking come back in and
talk about it on the podcast. Yeah, I'll I'll bring my equipment. I got my my
ghost hunting equipment that I could bring with us and we have to do it
there, dude. Yes. Have you been there? No, it's just, dude, man, that's like
whatever's there is like fucking bad, dude. We're committed to the committed
bro. Yeah, it's bad. So what I've actually found in ghosts like things is
that in extremes of either way is either extreme heat or extreme cold is when
the most activity happened for for whatever reason. Really? Yeah.
Specifically, like muggy hot nights is when things happen or bitter, bitter cold
nights is when things happen like that. That's what I've I mean, you'll get like
things here and there. Don't you think that's like psychological, though? I
don't know. I fucking it's just kind of what I what I've what I've experienced.
I can't really explain like if it's like a correlation causation or just like
because you know, when there's extreme heat, people get violent. No, but like
it's it's one of the things it's like it's the energy in the air type thing.
And like if it's humid and muggy, there's a lot of energy in that air that you can
fucking use to do shit. And if it's super cold, that little bit of energy in that
cold is because like everything's amplified in the cold. Like specifically,
like you could make a fucking noise and you could hear it like fucking super far
in the cold. I think that's kind of what makes it like, I guess, more active in
the cold from I mean, this is just a theory that I've had. Like this isn't
like proven or anything like. But this is just kind of like what I experience is
that in either like really muggy heat or extreme like bitter cold is when things
happen. And the heat I get for like it like having a lot of energy in the air
to use and like the thickness of the air kind of like lets you do it. But I also
think like when you're when it's bitter cold and like it's super quiet, you can
hear like a fucking twig crunch from like fucking half a mile away. It's just
that there's like so little input that any little thing you can pick up on.
Yeah. So I think that's why I in the winter time and like the bitter cold, you
can kind of pick up on on more like things because everything else is so like
like muffled. It's almost like a sensory deprivation. Yeah. Kind of thing.
Like if you can pick up on. Yeah, I know all you guys have been in like a snowy
field at night time and like it you can't you can barely hear anything. Oh,
dude, you can you can hear like if if a tree like just moves a little bit. Yeah,
like crack like like that because the snow like absorbs the sound. Yeah. Well,
the air is denser because it's cold. I thought it was thinner. No, it's more
dense. That's why it's like it's better if like you're going to learn to fly.
It's better to learn to fly in the winter time really because it's more forgiving
because the air is denser. Huh? So yeah, it's like they'll say like if it's
really hot out like you've probably seen it online, they'll they'll ask people to
get off the plane really because it won't be able to take off really hot or
really cold if it's really hot. So that's actually interesting because me and me
and my me and my girl, we went down to Florida and we were coming back and it
was winter time and like it was a fully booked plane, you know, just normally,
which I have a whole theory about planes and airports after this. Remind me about
that. That guy is not fucking real. But but remind me of that because I that it's a
really interesting thing that like this just remind me of my airport and plane
conspiracy. I just watched the show Hijack. It was a good one. Yeah, but like
but what you were saying, but this is like it was like the opposite. Like it
was bitter cold out and two people had to get kicked off the plane because it
was too quote unquote heavy or unbalanced. Oh yeah, I was like, yeah,
and I was like, bro, it was like, and I can't just take some fucking carts out
some luggage out. That was the weird thing because my my my my baggage didn't
show up till two days later. So they took out my baggage. So they didn't just like
kick two people. They were taking bags off to try to like balance out the plane.
The plane was on the tarmac. I was on the tarmac with like my like in like the
plane for two hours waiting for this plane to fucking take off. Like the first
plane got a fucking like got in the jet stream and like fucking flew. I did like
like a two and a half hour flight in like fucking an hour in like 20 minutes
and then I sat on the tarmac for two hours in the plane waiting to fucking
take off to go back to Albany. Where was this going from where to where? Baltimore
I think. Oh yeah, that's a hub. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's I know people that
somebody that worked at the place we all work together. She used to balance the
planes for UPS. That was her job. Yeah. But uh, have you seen that video of the 747?
That it's a military 747 takes off right and then all of a sudden it goes
straight nose up. Really? And then just goes like this like like to the side and
never crashes and burns. It had cargo in it that wasn't secured. They were those
MRAPs. Oh right. One of them broke loose right on takeoff and just went to the
back of the plane, unbalanced it and immediately pitched the 747 on the air. Yeah. Yeah.
Pitched it up in the air and then they just completely lost control and it just
went to the side and blew up. She's fucking crazy here. Let me see if I can
pull it up while you guys are talking about something. Yeah. So my plane
conspiracy is really fucking interesting. Like so at any time you could be going
on a plane like in fucking like October October 10th you try to take a flight.
Why is every single plane almost every single time filled almost completely
into the brim on even random days like almost every single plane that I've been
on like I took a vacation in the middle of like October or yeah it was October
and like it wasn't a holiday. It wasn't Halloween. It was like the fucking like
second week of October. So more profitable. I'll tell you. I'll tell you
how they do it. Yeah. They have something called a schedule and you can only pick
flights during that scheduled time. But like if you have to be somewhere on the
10th of any month pick a month and there's only a scheduled flight on the
9th. All right. People on those like that week have to pick that flight. So that's
how they do it. You know what I mean? They just give it's just fucking weird to
me that every single plane that you're on almost every single time is almost
filled to the brim. Right. I mean it's just it's just weird to me that like
it's a fucking random day in the middle of a fucking month that doesn't have a
holiday in it or anything and the entire plane is filled up and it's just like
where are you people going? Right. Right. Well they so they might not have to be
there the same exact day as you. You know what I mean? That's just the only flight
that was available to get them close to the date that they have to do whatever
they got to do. So me and my girlfriend went to Disney World in not November not
December. I think it was like like middle of January. So like literally
nothing's going on. Kids are in school. Parents and like stuff are working and
stuff. We went to Disney World on a plane to Orlando and there were just kids on
that plane and they're like you know adults that were like going. I'm like I
get adults but there's like you know just school age kids. There's like you
know like 20 20 like school age kids and I'm like all these and like I'm like I
know the area. None of these schools are out of session right now. All these
schools are in session currently. Like it's just weird to me that like shit
like that happens and like like I'm like why are these like kids here? Schools in
session and like I get like if it was like fucking like New Year's week or
like Christmas week I get that. Okay you're going on vacation with your whole
family like to like Disney World on that. Like it was like fucking January 17th.
And how many kids? There's like 30 kids on that plane. Oh well I don't know maybe
they were going on a field trip or something. No they were all different like
families and stuff and like they scattered when they got to the airport.
It was weird. I mean you know people got a lot of things going on. Not everybody's
just sitting at home you know like. And like when I my grandfather died recently
and I had to take a plane to go down to Florida to go to his wake and and shit
and still it was like fucking how long ago is that now? I think it was May.
Oh no it was April. It was my birthday. My grandfather died on my birthday. It was
April 29th that I had to do it. And when I was like on the plane on April like no
no holidays. Easter was in I think March this year so there's like nothing going
on. There's just you know kids on the plane and all that. I'm like where? It's
like it shouldn't be hard and like I it was like fucking like a nightmare to get
a ticket for it because like the plane was filled up. I'm like it's fucking the
end of April there's nothing going on. Well that's probably people are probably
looking at you like who the fuck is this guy with a Pope hat on sitting on the
plane? Where is this guy going? I'm going to a funeral. In April? Who is this guy? What's he
doing? They're thinking that about you but you know everybody's got their own
things going on. Did you hear that Kanye was reinstated? His ex account was
reinstated. Yeah. Let's see how long that lasts. Trump hasn't used his right since
his was reinstated. Yeah but he hasn't used it. We gotta follow Kanye on X. We should ask him if
he'll come on the podcast. He's been coming on random people's podcast and he's talking to people. No shit.
What do you think Kanye would talk about if he were here? He'd talk about himself
for three hours straight. I would love it. I'd just sit here and be fucking, I'd be so happy. That'd be awesome.
Would you ask him for an autograph? Absolutely. I wouldn't. I would just act cool like I don't need that. I don't need that shit.
Yeah we cool dude. Come back whenever you want and get him to do a prank phone call with us. I think that we should try to get Beetlejuice on the podcast.
Well I'll pull some money together. Yeah. Like five grand. I think we could do it for less.
Yeah you'd probably do it for like fucking Pringles. Oh here's that video with the plane.
Let's talk about, you guys can both watch it. It just noses up. What the fuck? Loses all speed. That's like me trying to play flight some year.
And then just did it. Nodding crash yet? Yeah it stalls. That looks fake. It looks fake yeah. It just noses up, loses 100% of its airspeed, falls to the side and explodes.
That's unbelievable. Because it was just on a normal. How many people died in that shit? I think it was a cargo military plane so there's only like three people I think.
But yeah so one of those MRAPs came loose. It was just a normal pitch. And then it came loose and went to the back of the plane. And it just shot it straight up.
So it did like, I think they called that the Cobra. Like when you do that in a fighter jet. You just go straight up and you use it as an air brake. That's what happened to it. Air brake to a complete stop and then just tipped over. Boom. Blew up. Fucking nuts.
Is there any way to save that though? If you're in that. If you had altitude. I mean if you had altitude you could probably save that. But like at that point there's like, I don't think there's any way to save that.
Like once it tips? Once it stops? Like once it's like this. No. No. There's no way to fucking save it. But if they had, say it happened later. Right? I think what it ended up being, there's a problem with the mounting system.
It wasn't designed to carry that much load. Like you're supposed to use more specialized mounting system. Yeah. But say they were at like 20,000 feet or 30,000 feet. Well, see the thing is, is they wouldn't have tipped up like that at 30,000 feet.
Because they wouldn't, that was on takeoff. That's when we were going to have the most pitch up. So say they're at like 25,000 feet and it came to a stop like that and then tipped. Right? You could gain speed and kind of. You might, you may be able to pick up speed again.
Like go straight down and then like slowly level it out. Kind of like yeah. And then it would probably happen again. It would start porpoising because the thing's going back and forth. You know? But no. Unless they had more altitude there's absolutely no way. Yeah.
I mean, that's just like a freak accident. I think it actually, I think it crashed through the back of the plane. Yeah. Because it just, it just, I mean the thing weighs how many like 20, 30 tons or something like something stupid.
I think when they went up and it broke like that, it slammed into the bulkhead. I think it's called in the back and broke it. So I mean, it might have, that might have just destroyed the airframe enough right there. Just the fucking.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I think actually now that I think about it, you know, so much about planes. It's kind of.
Definitely autistic. It's definitely autistic. I think there's something called the jack screw. Right? So what gives the plane? Sorry to keep going on about this dude. But now that I've started to thought your autism just take it.
It's taken over dude. It's at the helm. I can't help it. Yeah. No. So the thing in the back is called the elevator. Right. And that's what pitches the plane up. Yeah. And down. Right. So if the elevator tips up like this, it pushes the ass into the plane up and it gains elevation. Elevator. Right.
So that thing slammed into the jack screw, the thing that controls the elevator and it just pinned it and pinned it like in full, full elevator all the way up. And that's what caused it. So no, it's good to know. Right. They couldn't pitch it down. Yeah. Like when I'm going to when I, when I steal a C one 30 and just, you know, go off, you see that guy in Seattle, the guy in Seattle fucking stole plane. That guy sky king, bro.
He's fucking Jory ride. He's my fucking hero. He wanted to kill himself. What a fucking way to go. Oh my God. Dude, I'm still waiting for that fucking plane to come out for flight simulator. So I, so I can go and fly his path that he flew that fucking legend. It's Q 400.
Dude, he was like, he said something when he saw the air traffic controller that I use all the time. Yeah. I say, well, I'm going to nose down and call it a night. That's that's what he said. It comes from that. Yeah. Yeah. Nose down and call it a night. Like I'm going to bed. But the guy is like, oh, well, I think you could land it at this airfield. He's like, no, I don't think I'm really, I wasn't planning on landing it. You know, fun. Yeah. He goes, I think I'm going to try a barrel roll and then I'm going to nose down and call it a night.
He fucking nose down and he called it a night. Yeah. Yeah. That was fucking legend. Fucking legend. Did he take anyone with him or is that just now? Just him. Good for him. Yeah. Yeah. Good for him. Bro. I mean, he's he went down in history. He went from a baggage guy to down in history. I learned how to fly it from flight simulator. Yeah. Yeah. I played some video games. Yeah. That would be fucking me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Probably use the um it's the name of the company that makes like it's a study level
Aircraft for pilots that are actually like trying to learn how to fly that it's called majestic software
No doubt he learned on the majestic 2-400
But good to know that's funny. Yeah, he's fucking
Hero sky's dead as fuck
See the we're gonna see the orcas
And then he flew it past Mount Rainier, I think it's called
Alright, let's take a break. We'll be back on untitled podcast
I'm gonna punch your dad
Welcome back to untitled podcast
Exit we have confirmed evidence of aliens. All right, we're back here with
Yeah
So Megan came down the stairs here and she's unrecognizable
And she lost about 40 pounds. I was like wait, I didn't that's Casey's girlfriend. That's crazy
So you've been you've just been walking. Yeah, if I walk to work. Wow, how far is work?
minute drive
Sounds like you probably how many do you know how many steps you're getting in?
You were talking about earlier hired grown that one guy at the girl at your girlfriend's party and he never came back
You're growing the guy about his workout routine
Never to be seen again. Yeah, I was like dude. He's like, oh, yeah to crochet and this and that we talked a little bit
But he was definitely like I'm sure you get so annoyed at people asking
Yeah, but I'm going to ask I got a lot of questions for you. Yeah, have you done any like dietary changes? No, just walking
Just that see that is amazing that it goes to show you that women
Actually, no, I do I have been eating smaller portions
Wow good for you guys nothing that's fucking incredible. It's like the Amish
They is that how you say it? I'm each I'm each
I'm on the anxiety diet. I
Was I
Started taking my adderall or some shit. I'd be like fucking like 90 pounds in the skeleton. Yeah, but that's not good for
I mean I
Lost 15 pounds and I gained 10 pounds back with like without this. Yeah, like I think it was just I gained muscle mass
Yeah, you guys like you're competent re comping. I think they call it
I did because I've been doing a stair climber like every fucking day. Yeah fucking can I do arm day, which I do
flat bench
I do fucking
Curls I do shrugs you rose
Then I do the tricep like extensions with that thing then I do
So I do I do core on my on my my front core on
Arm day and then like leg day I do leg press leg extension like curls
calf raises
So you want to try?
Actually mandatory
We won't make you do that. I want to see if she can beat you guys at deputy. I don't know if you have time
Oh, yeah, no, I got time you got time. All right
Fuck it's like it's like someone took alimax place. That's actually immediately
17 automatically better than Jesus Christ
People jump off and like flip on the somebody's head like like
That real I've never seen somebody actually do that I mean
All right, welcome back to jeopardy this is our first female guest. Oh, yeah, actually I'm glad it was you
Women
Welcome back to jeopardy we replace alimac with a sentient AI
The female AI
So welcome Megan and we got a returning champ fucking Dan
It didn't actually I didn't know he won the tiebreaker no he didn't he did no
No
Turning champ Tyler
Alley Mac never wins fucking
That is a great smell I think
All right, well Dan's a returning champ I gotta tell you the fucking category
Categories are Indiana Jones. Okay US military conflicts. Yeah, it's mine baby math
Name that country artists and put it off Hitler and potent potable
Dan Dan's returning champ you pick first. Oh god. I kind of want to get math out of the way cuz I hate it
Whatever. We'll just take that as they come potent potable potent potable for 200 in Alice in Wonderland
The caterpillar smokes this kind of tobacco. What?
What is pipe tobacco?
What is hookah what is hookah?
Oh, baby hookah for Tyler US military conflicts god damn it 200 this president pulled troops out of Vietnam in
1975 was Richard Nixon
Baby for 400
Drink commonly mixed with sugar cubes and ice water. What is rum?
Like the cocktail itself or is it like the the liquor drink commonly mixed
What is tequila type of alcohol mix with sugar cubes? I just water
Absent oh that's rude. I hate absinthe
I've never had any
I want to try this it's brutal. I can bring green alcohol next there's like yeah
Tyler's big
Poem bubbles for 600 in Breaking Bad Jane dies from overdosing on this heroin. Oh
What is what is her on you can just shut out the answer
I don't know any breaking bad. I know Dan's big black
Let's do a math one because I can't do math on the spot even if it's like easy
200 he invented the Pythagorean theorem
What is the Pythagorean? Yeah, that's her that was that was just like a gimme. Yeah, yeah Pythagoras all right Megan's
Whoever invented math get shot 400
You got 200 points you can risk 400 because it's $400 question, but you'd be in a negative
Congress 200
It's 200 all right C stands for this and the Pythagorean theorem. Oh my god
I don't remember that you know what the Pythagorean theorem is is that the triangle?
Squared plus b squared
No, no, that would be the hypotenuse
Oh shit, that's more shit
Geometry was my first subject. I failed geometry three times in high school. Yeah, I failed it twice. Let's check it out on the train.
I can't even take tricks. No that's geography.
That's geography.
Geography?
That's geography
For 600 bucks.
I don't have anything. You can risk 600 though.
Zero. You can't risk zero.
You can't risk zero.
Five is the lowest you can risk.
Just do 200.
Okay
Complete the Fibonacci sequence
Complete the Fibonacci sequence?
One, one, two, three, five, blank.
Seven, eight.
No I don't know. I just made that up.
Complete the sequence.
I don't know what that is.
It's a pattern.
Try to complete the pattern. One, one, two, three, five, blank.
So you're adding one to each one. Sorry.
No.
No? Alright.
That was eight.
That was just one of the negatives.
What?
You're adding the one before it to it?
Alright, you're back again.
One, one, 72.
Indiana Jones, US military conflicts
Multiplying
Name that country. Artists and Potent Portables.
Name that country for 200.
Gangus Khan was from this country.
Mongolia.
That was everybody at once.
Alright, everybody gets
200 points.
Megan's pick.
Country for 400.
Sparta was in this country.
What is Greece?
I've been there.
Yeah, you're from there.
Dan's pick.
Is there any more potent potables?
Hell yeah, 800.
Prohibition ended in this year.
What is 19...
What is 1931?
19...
What is 1929?
What is 1927?
What is 1928?
What is 1922?
1925.
Okay, we're timing out on this one.
1933.
I was one off.
We're in the 30s.
Phone potables.
For 1000.
Daily Double, you got 1400.
Bet it all.
I'll do 300.
300?
Alright, in GTA V.
What drug do Franklin Lamar try to buy from the ballas before getting ripped off?
What is Coke?
Ooh.
That was it?
Yes, that's correct.
I don't remember that, because I never played the story.
Oh really?
The story is fucking fun.
Franklin sucks though.
Are there any potent potables left?
No.
Just pick one.
Math.
He invented calculus right around the same time as Liebniz.
He's a vegetarian, right?
What is Albert Einstein?
He invented calculus.
What is Fitzgerald?
What is Cunt Knight?
It was Isaac Newton.
I would not have gotten that.
I was thinking...
Dance bed.
Let's just get this fucking math out of the way.
For 1000.
The factorial of 4.
Is it 2?
Nope.
16.
What is 16?
What is...
Hold on a second.
What is 144?
16.
What is 24?
No.
Dance bed.
Hold on a second.
What is a factorial?
It's basically 4 times 3 times 2 times 1.
I have no idea what the fuck you just said.
So 5 would be 5 times 4 times 2 times 1.
5 times 4 times 3 times 2 times 1.
Factorial of 5.
It's a statistics pr-proputation.
I don't...
I never took statistics.
We don't have an IQ of 144 over here, Casey.
We got Indiana Jones.
US military conflicts.
Name that country.
Indiana Jones.
200.
What is Harrison Ford?
No.
Actor who portrays Indy's long lost son in the Queen's...
Who is Shia Labeouf?
Fuck damn it!
Who the fuck?
I didn't see the movie either.
Megan's pick.
Shia Labeouf!
Indiana Jones 400.
Short round appeared in this film.
Who is Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Temple of Doom.
I only know one of them, so I'm just going to keep saying it.
Military conflicts.
Tyler's pick.
For 400.
This war ended in a stalemate in 1953.
What is Korea?
Oh yeah.
War.
Tyler's pick.
For 600.
British forces fought the newly formed United States in this war.
What is the War of Independence?
It's the War of 1812.
Yeah.
I just knew that from you!
From last time!
I've never even heard of it before that!
The War of 1812 was right.
Dan's pick.
They burned down the White House.
Are we done with math?
Yeah, math's gone.
There's Indiana Jones, war...
Name that country.
Dubai is the capital of this country.
United Arab Emirates.
Oh my god, I'm thinking about it.
Who got that first?
United Arab Emirates, yeah.
Whatever. Give it to Tyler.
I'm sick.
War.
War for US military conflicts for 800.
The Ottoman Empire was involved in this war.
What is World War I?
The US was also in.
Yes, World War I.
Tyler's pick.
Was that the end of war?
No, 1000.
There's never an end to war.
War never changes.
Name for the global counter
counter-terrorism military campaign
started after 9 11.
What is Desert Storm?
What is the War on Terror?
War on Terror.
I think I've really
become Ali Mack this time.
You have all these
topics I'm not good at.
You're doing good.
What's the other ones that we got?
Indiana Jones, name that country and the artists.
Adolf Hitler.
What?
Artist One.
Starry Night.
Who painted this?
Who's Vincent Van Gogh?
Dan.
He got it because he said Vincent.
Sorry, I got excited.
I got to control myself. There's a female here.
Let's try
countries.
800.
The Taliban took back control of this country.
We really need a button.
We need buttons that
connect so that we
can all... instead of just going
Who said it?
We should make it so it's like
whoever hits it first, it locks it out.
You probably get them on Amazon.
You can actually get a Jeopardy
box that you press the button.
Let's do artist.
Something interesting. 400.
The Last Supper.
What is Leonardo da Vinci?
Damn, I didn't know that.
What do we got left?
Name that country. India Jones,
artist.
For 600.
I thought it was music artist.
I didn't realize. I don't know anything about
actual artists.
The creation of Adam Sistine Chapel.
What is Michelangelo?
God damn.
I went to art school.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Tyler Speck. I'll do art.
For 800. The Weeping Woman.
What is Edvard Munch?
Who?
I don't know that one.
I have no idea.
No.
Picasso.
Okay.
Tyler Speck.
Art. For 1000.
The Scream. What is Edvard Munch?
I've never even heard of that.
Is that the one?
Yeah.
Tyler Speck.
Country and India Jones.
How many we got left in country?
One. 1000?
Yeah.
1000. This country is primarily ice
despite its misnomer.
Greenland.
Baby. Jesus Christ.
Dude, I
would have guessed the higher level ones.
That's like the one.
I suck at the early ones.
I peek at the Indiana Jones.
Indiana Jones for 600. Oops.
Oops.
Actor who portrayed Henry Jones
Senior.
Sean Connery?
Yeah.
God damn.
Was that in Raiders or is that in
I think that was in Raiders.
So Megan will get Indiana Jones for 800.
The Temple of Doom
opened in this Chinese city.
What is Shanghai?
Oh,
hell yeah. Good job.
Hell yeah. Good job.
Megan gets Indiana Jones for 1000.
Oh, it's another daily
double.
How are there three daily doubles?
Yeah, there's always three daily doubles.
No, there's three daily doubles.
There's two in each fucking thing.
I might have gone four, but anyway, it's a daily double.
1700. You're out of your fucking mind.
400.
400?
I'm thrifty like that.
What is the treasure that
Indy searches for in the Last Crusade?
Oh, come on.
The Chalice. What is the Chalice?
Yeah, what is the Chalice?
What is it? What's it called?
The Fountain of Youth? No.
No.
I know what it is, but I don't remember what it was.
Can I just, can I say, I know I'm not
going to get points for it, but can I say it?
What's the Holy Grail?
Oh, that's what it was, yeah.
Jesus.
I knew it too, I just can't remember the name of it.
Alright, well,
we got to the final Jeopardy.
Shit, that was quick.
Megan's got 1300, Dan has
3300, Tyler has
6600, so you got
exactly half of Tyler again.
God damn.
Tyler, you have to
wager at least one dollar.
So, you just got to text me your wager.
Oh, I don't have my phone.
Oh, fuck.
God damn it.
I didn't know I was doing Jeopardy.
Fuck!
Would I have 3300?
Just tell me.
I don't know.
Just tell him, it's fine.
Or here, you can
send it to him.
You can send it to him on my phone
and delete it.
There you go, then delete the message.
Wait, no, let me just get my phone.
No, no, don't worry about it.
It's not a big deal.
Just give it to him in hand signals right now.
What if you look up?
Actually, no, no.
You got to tell us what the thing is.
What's the category?
Oh.
Category
is geography.
Oh, God.
I still
do my wager.
Did you text me?
I did.
Oh, okay.
What's your wager?
Uh, I'll go all in.
Just say, give him, we won't look.
You should probably just go all in.
Yeah, just all in.
Just blink.
This is the question.
This country lies closest to the
North Pole.
Oh, fuck.
Well, after you guys text me,
we'll get back at the answer.
Oh, God.
I don't know.
Got a rough guess, I guess.
Wait, what was the question again?
This country lies
closest to the North Pole.
Don't know how to spell it.
How do you spell that?
What the fuck are you talking about?
I don't know how to spell the country.
Is that how you...
No, that's not the spelling of it.
There it is.
I don't know how to spell.
What the fuck are you doing, Tyler?
All right, let's get Megan's answer.
Oh, Jesus, I don't know.
I'm still thinking about it.
You can't send the answer here.
Since my answer's already in,
just send it on my phone to Casey.
Well, I don't know yet.
Okay.
Well, you can see my answer.
I'm not looking at it.
I promise you I'm not looking.
I'm autistic on my part here.
I'm not looking.
Well, I misspelled it, but...
I don't know how to spell.
Did we all spell it wrong?
No, I said something
that's very easy to spell.
Okay, Megan says New Finland.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think so.
You risked...
You got zero.
Dan says, what is Canada?
That's incorrect.
You risked it all. You're down to zero.
Tyler says, what is Canada?
You got one dollar.
We both said Canada.
Yeah, Tyler wins!
Tyler wins with 59.99.
Tyler wins!
And the correct answer
was Greenland.
That was close.
That was one of my guesses too.
I thought Canada almost went all the way to the fucking...
It does, but Greenland's closer.
Wow.
I said what, coal?
Like, my own coal?
Tyler, you tied up the score back up again.
You got the three wins each with Dan.
I should have, you know,
more wins than that, but you know,
the Soviet Union...
The Soviet Union fucked me.
The Germans fucked me.
New Finland's not a country, honey.
New Finland is in...
It's a province of Canada.
The Canadian territory
of none of it
lies closest to the North Pole.
Greenland, the world's largest island,
is also close to the North Pole.
So which one's closer here?
Greenland's closer to the geographical North Pole.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Is Greenland or Canada closer to the North Pole?
It says the Canadian territory
is closer to the North Pole.
It says the Canadian territory
of none of it
lies closest to the North Pole.
No.
That's what it says.
Even if it did that, I would still win
because I would have one dollar more to spend.
I would still win by a smidge.
What the fuck?
The nearest land to the North Pole
is a small island belonging to Greenland.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'm getting mixed answers here.
I know.
It's like, Spolk Art or something.
I can't precisely say it.
Well, at least he's better than Ali Mack.
Tyler Wins!
Dude, that art, man. He knows his kid.
This boy knows his art!
The nearest land is
said to be
Kelly Boothan Island
off the Northern coast of Greenland.
I got a little fucking
trivia for you
over here, Casey, because we're always in the hot seat.
All right, hold on a sec.
I should probably get back to my friend.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, we're your friends.
We got friends to get back to.
Yeah, but I see him every day.
Who is this friend?
My friend Broly. Well, his name's Andrew.
His name?
You're okay with this, Casey?
She's got to leave you to get back to her friend
to play imaginary dinosaur games with?
He's probably gay.
All right, we're done with you.
Actually... Dan, are you gay?
Am I gay?
Do I sound gay? Sometimes. Really?
Yeah, your voice sometimes tells me that you're gay.
Dude, somebody told me that before.
I'm just fucking with you. I'm not actually saying that you sound gay.
Ali Mack sounds more gay than you.
Ali Mack does sound gay.
Somebody literally told me that. Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, Ali Mack does sound gay. Sorry, buddy.
You do.
Thanks for coming on the podcast.
Thanks for having me.
All right, so...
What...
Inspector Space Time.
What is the only space shuttle to never actually go to outer space?
The Challenger.
Is it A, the Discovery,
B, Atlantis,
C, Endeavor,
or D, the Enterprise?
That doesn't make any sense.
The Enterprise doesn't exist.
It's fucking Star Trek.
No.
Star Trek Enterprise.
There's probably dozens of
space shuttles that haven't been launched.
So it's the only
US space shuttle that never went to outer space?
Never flew a space mission?
That question doesn't make sense in my brain.
Probably fucking Discover.
I don't know.
What do you say, Tyler? Discovery,
Atlantis, Endeavor, or Enterprise?
Discovery.
Baaah!
Enterprise never went to outer space.
It's this! It's fucking Star Trek.
It's on the Intrepid.
I thought that would be a good
trivia question.
Because they're like, they're bringing it to New York City,
and they're like all excited about it.
And they're putting it on the Intrepid,
you know, that ship with like all the airplanes on it.
So the Barbie movie, Ken,
starts a Kethno state.
And that is a Ken
ethno state.
That sounds like something racist.
No, it's
a Kethno state.
What the fuck is that?
So, you know how I say I
follow insane
meme groups on Facebook with boomers and shit?
So,
I found one that says Lego
Adults Only.
And it's a bunch of boomers
that post pictures of Legos
that are sexual.
Oh, dude, I just popped up on my Facebook today!
Dude, it's so fucking weird!
Oh my god!
Dude!
That's fucking crazy. I was thinking like,
what kind of people fucking play with these?
It's sick!
It's these pictures.
What the fuck is happening?
Three tits on an alien?
Bro, give me another trivia question.
If I get it wrong, I'll take like a tiny bite
of a ghost pepper.
How many teeth does a mosquito have?
I got one for you.
How many teeth does a mosquito have, Casey?
On a standard outlet,
alright?
One side of the plug is bigger than the other.
Is it the right or the left?
Oh, fuck.
Shit.
Can't look!
The right or the left side
is bigger than the other?
Yeah, you know how you have to flip it around sometimes?
The right's bigger.
Fuck!
It's the left.
I said I've never thought about that in 33 years.
I'm trying to plug something in today.
You're 33?
Yeah, 33.
I told you this like 10 times.
You're fucking 8 years older than me?
Remember I said last time that I was 8
when you were bored?
Yeah, that's fucking wild to me.
So you're 90?
They say if you have ADHD, you're 7 years behind.
So if I'm 7 years behind, I'm
18.
Yeah.
Sounds about right, right?
So I'm 24.
Casey's really fucking doing it!
Oh my god, he just took a bite
of a ghost pepper. Dude, that wasn't even that good
of a question. You didn't have to do that.
Ugh!
I got spit out!
You just did that to yourself for no reason!
There's no need for this.
I got through this whole thing.
Jesus Christ.
Damn.
Wait a minute, I'm 25, so
minus 7 years, right?
Yeah.
So I'd be 18.
That's what they say.
I won trivia!
That's hot!
I won trivia!
I need some sauce.
What are their
trivia questions?
Casey's just
torturing himself for getting that question wrong.
So Dan, how many teeth does a
mosquito have? How many teeth?
They do have teeth. How many teeth
do they have? I'm going to say
77.
That's not true.
How many teeth?
47.
That was a good guess though.
Imagine if I got that right.
I didn't even know they had teeth.
I fucking hate mosquitoes. They're fucking
vile. They're brutal. They're also
disgusting.
The
disease,
Lyme disease.
What is that? Fucking root beer?
Give me that shit. No.
He took it.
I just bit a ghost pepper, man.
We didn't tell you to. You did this to yourself.
Why can't I have a sip of root beer?
Because it's my root beer. I bought it.
Fuck!
That makes it worse. Drink milk, you
fucking psycho. I'll drink your fucking root beer
if you let me have a sip. No.
Can you stop slamming on it?
You're fucking making our little frogs stop
smoking. Alright,
the disease, Lyme disease,
is named after a city in which state?
Lyme disease?
Yeah. Lyme, Colorado.
Fuck!
New York.
Colorado, California.
What is Arizona?
What is Turquoise?
What is Maine?
Maryland.
It's a state. It's a city in
which state? Rhode Island. What is Rhode Island?
What is Connecticut?
Yes, Connecticut. Oh, yes!
Listen.
Oh, that's hot.
You're out of control.
Coffee? Somebody made a fucking
pack of Marbreads in
Legos.
That's fucking awesome. This
fucking page is wild.
Coffee originated on which continent?
Columbia.
Meh.
South America. Meh.
Africa.
Correct. Yes!
Oh, damn!
What the fuck is happening? Let me see that.
No, it's Legos. Is that Lego porn?
That's the juiciest Lego porn. Is that Lego?
Yeah, this is what we were talking about. Me and Dan were talking about.
This is like the Lego adults only.
God, I just feel like
things are getting out of hand
after the pandemic. This one's for Dan.
This is Granny
Lego porn.
This is happening. Link in description.
Do they have that thing with
Piper Perry?
The five guys surrounding her?
They do.
How do you know her name?
Because everybody
knows her name. I don't know her name. I knew the
picture. Everybody
knows who Piper. Piper Perry is the fucking
25 year old porn star that
looks like she's fucking 15.
I don't get that. I always go for
porn. Yeah.
Did you ever see Larkin Love?
Not Larkin Love.
Jesus Christ.
Lovely Lilith. Have you ever
seen that bitch? No.
Let me show you this real quick.
Lovely Lilith. She has
some
massive manga
Hongo Longos.
I showed this
to one of my friends and he's like
how?
Look at that shit.
Oh, damn. Let me see.
Let me see your phone.
What's her name? Lovely
Lilith. Jesus Christ.
That looks photoshopped.
Those are real too. They're
not fake. I mean,
they're too big, but they're like
as far as like really big
boobs go,
those are the best looking really big boobs I've ever
seen. Because they still have
some roundness to them. They do.
Look at the other pictures on
the Google Images.
I left you on that one.
Look at that. That's fucking
That's like, it looks photoshopped.
That's real. It looks fake. What the fuck?
Yeah, that's real. Damn.
Her back is fucked. Yeah.
She must have a miserable life.
She's also super short apparently.
Yeah, that's just like
it's just too much.
You know, I can deal with that.
Wow.
It's just like fucking
dude, like one of hers is like
four of normal girls.
Like weight wise.
They gotta be like triple K's.
Triple K's. What the fuck?
Yeah, it's a problem.
Yeah, it's too much. One hour of silence
randomly interrupted by
a Lego breaking sound effect.
Yeah, but
yeah, the random
boomer groups. I just keep joining them because I want to
keep finding insane things to show you guys.
This is the dick
Spider-Man.
This is Spider-Man dick
Legos.
What else do we got?
Then they have like just random actual
Legos sets.
And then there's shit
like this. Some dude is a peeping Tom
looking at a thing and then he gets shot
by an assassin.
I don't know what's happening on this page.
And I don't know why it was suggested to me.
You said it was suggested to you too, right?
Yeah, I just saw it
for the first time today. Yeah, that's just fucking
like that's what happened. There's Nazis
apparently. They just have Nazi
Legos.
That's a thing. Just Nazi
Legos. Oh my God.
Some autistic child
in the back seat of the car
smiling with a bunch of Legos.
Like what is this
page? I feel like I shouldn't
be here. I feel like
I want to know more, but at the same time
I don't like I feel like I don't want
to. I don't
want to look it up.
I don't want to be on a record somewhere.
I think
you're good, bro. Mr. Lee, why don't you
come and have a seat here?
So we pulled up some transcripts
of this podcast you're on.
Cowboy Ram Ranch.
Ram Ranch.
Oh, by the way, for the listeners,
if you want to transcript a poorly
AI generated transcript
of the podcast,
oh man, my
throat is burning still. If you go to
our website at RSS.
What the fuck is that?
That looks like
herpes. Yeah.
You can get a fucking transcript of
the podcast.
Yeah, that's fucking wild. I mean,
I feel like transcripts,
aka evidence to be used against
you in the court of law.
Everything that we've said on this podcast
is satire. We do not stand
behind any of it. This is all
jokes. We are
not making anything like that.
This is all jokes
and cannot be held in a court of
law. As we said,
this is jokes.
You can't just keep saying that something is
jokes and you can't just tell the court
that they can't use it.
I can't
use the court of law.
Look at a transcript from a prior person.
Oh shit.
It's April 20th. Taylor's birthday.
Hey, happy birthday, Hitler.
No, let's not say this on that.
Let's not say that on this podcast.
All I'm saying is Germany had a pretty cool leader
at one point.
Did you actually say this? So you see this
thing this week where that guy shot that girl,
that 16 year old girl
like being coming up the wrong drive.
Oh yeah, I remember we were talking about.
Dude, that's crazy.
So that's what we were
looking for before though, the transcripts
so that we could have the AI do an episode.
Yeah. Found it.
It took me a little bit.
Yeah, that's what I was talking about.
Found it.
Did you actually
watch that video? I've never seen it.
What?
What the fuck's that chick's name?
Oh, the Piper Perry one?
Yeah, I never saw it. I've never seen it
either. I'm sure
it's vile.
Because she looks so
young, even though she's 25.
But.
And there's so much bigger
than she is.
For
those of you who aren't aware, it's
five Terry Crews looking motherfuckers
versus a girl
that looks like she's 15, even though she's 25.
What the fuck?
You know, the one where she's sitting on the couch
and there's the five guys
surrounding her. Five Terry Crews.
Yeah. What's
fuck. Oh, dude.
Hold on. What's the name of the name
of the movie?
It's a parody
on Orange is the New Black.
There's a movie about that?
No, no.
The name of that movie that that comes from.
I can't think of the name of it, but it's a
parody of Orange is the New Black.
Black is the New Black or
something. I don't know.
Hold on a sec.
Piper Perry, Orange is the New Black.
It'll come up. I thought
Orange is the New Black was about lesbians in prison.
How come like
fucking
chicks that go to prison and they're lesbians, that's cool.
But like, if a guy
turns gay in prison,
like that's not cool.
Orgy is the New Black.
You ever watch 60
Days in? I did, yeah.
No.
About the regular people who just sign up to go to jail
and see what it's like. Yeah, they do that.
That sounds like the worst idea ever.
It is the worst idea. Like, people got
like stabbed, I thought, didn't they, or some shit?
Were you talking about people getting turned out
in prison? Yeah.
Dude, that sucks.
But like, girls. You know, it's not gay
though, man. I just, look, you gotta
do what you gotta do to
survive and if you gotta suck a little
dick to get through your day, you
know what I mean? You just do
what you gotta do, man. You just gotta
What accent is that that you're using
for prisoners?
I don't know. What? It sounds like
an urban accent.
No, no!
You know what I mean? It's not gay though.
It's only gay. It's prison gay.
It's only prison gay.
I think that's kind of racist, man.
I'm not saying. Y'all feel me out here?
You feel me, dude.
Look, it's
only prison gay. Once you get out,
you ain't gotta keep doing it because you got
access to women. I mean, I know
some guys that keep doing it, but
you ain't gotta do that shit. You know what they say?
You need a pack of cigarettes, you gotta
suck a dick, you gotta suck a dick is all I'm saying.
You know what they say?
Build a thousand bridges
and suck one dick.
You're not a bridge builder, you're a dick sucker.
That's right! Suck
one dick and you're branded for life.
Let's welcome Don Lawn back to
the podcast. Man, bro, that's
crazy, man. I have all about people doing
that crazy shit in prison.
I have my neighbor went to prison there
and he's saying
he's saying some crazy shit
happened today. I don't really want to talk about it.
Don Lawn, what you been up
to lately, Don Lawn, by the way?
I've been shopping on eBay
and getting
a lot of vintage video games
and shit. Pac-Man
Don, same with Don Lawn.
Don, what a
Don.
I got a new game, dude. I got a new game.
You been in prison, Don?
I never been in prison. You ain't never been
locked up? I ain't never did nothing
illegal, though.
Don, I feel like you smoke
a lot of weed.
I don't smoke nothing, Don.
I don't do nothing.
I just be eating a lot of food, that's my
drug of choice. I love me some
pretty good. Don, if
one thing would put you in prison
for life, if you
if something like was
illegal, like something
that you do in life,
that you do so many times, if it was
illegal, you'd be in jail for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Probably eating Pringles,
though.
That's it.
I'll do that shit all the time. Don, how do you spell your name?
D is
a, D is a,
What's a food
that starts with D, doughnut? Domino's
pizza. Oh, is it Oreo?
DWI guy.
DWI Tom.
Damn, don't you have to feed that guy, dude?
He's all over the billboards and shit,
Don. Did he get DWI himself?
Yeah, he gets you out of the jab, dude.
Damn, yeah, dude.
That's just crazy, Don.
Do you think that DWI Tom represented
himself in court?
I don't know, I heard he's like legit though.
He's really nice. Is he? Yeah, that's what I heard.
Yeah. You know, if
if I ever got a DWI, which I'm not
going to get because I don't drink,
I would want a guy
who got a DWI
himself and got off.
Right, right.
You know what the biggest
thing that they use to get people off is?
The number one defense.
Saying that they're not drunk.
What do you think it is, Casey? Number one defense.
He had to ejaculate.
I think the number one defense is that
the tests aren't valid.
Nope. What do they do?
They're an addict.
Really? Yep.
It's the number one defense. That's what my girlfriend told me.
She's an addictions counselor.
She's had to talk to Tominelli.
So if you get proved
that you are addicted to alcohol
and you get a DWI. It's like one of the
best ways to get off.
How would you get off?
Because you're an addict. You go to
If I'm a crack addict and I fucking stab a baby,
that doesn't mean that it's because of the crack.
It means because I'm a fucking maniac.
Yeah, but not everybody who gets a DWI hurt anybody.
It's just the potential
is there to hurt somebody.
So stop it at the pass.
I still think that
DWI should be a person to person
basis type thing.
Because I've seen people
literally blow
a point fucking two.
Not a point oh eight,
but a point two. And they're fucking fine.
They look like they're sober.
You gotta have some standard though.
You do. But like
you're gonna be like, oh, this guy's got a really high tolerance.
But like if somebody has
a super high tolerance and they're just like
you know, like a guy who drinks
like fucking 20 plus beers
a day. You still shouldn't drive.
The answer is to just not drink
and drive. I'm not saying
drinking and driving is a good thing.
But I think that there should be for
some people who are like super like
alcoholics, like
in order to function they need to have like five.
That doesn't sound like a good idea.
It doesn't sound like a good idea.
Your honor,
I'd like to present the defense here.
Point three for alcoholics.
He blew a point two.
But his friends all said that he was
perfectly functioning at the
party when he left.
He was answering trivia questions.
He was... He was why he wasn't a lawyer.
The judge is gonna be like, oh,
you got a point there.
Jury?
Ask, we'll ask
our friend who's a lawyer if that's a
good defense.
We gotta get him on the podcast.
Ask him some legit legal questions.
Bro, it was so funny.
If I said that when he was here, you'd be like
what the fuck are you talking about?
I don't think that would work. So we have
a bunch of people, like a bunch of us
and like our guests on the
show in a group chat. And I called
the group chat the other day to see who's
coming to the podcast. And
our friend, Linsky,
answered.
The paramedic lawyer. And he was like, what is the purpose
of this call?
Come on a podcast, bro.
That is such a lawyerly way to answer.
What is the purpose of this call?
What statue? I don't know what statue.
Did you find it necessary?
He didn't say it like being an asshole. He just like
that's just how he answers the phone.
I love him for it.
We need
them to get some copyright
law. Yeah.
We don't even know about that.
So what do you think of them?
Latina actresses. They're gorgeous,
right? Like who? You know,
like, you
know, Dea Lupo. Who?
Who's that? She's a
artist. How do you spell that?
I think it's like D-I-U-P-L-U-P-A.
What?
D-I-U-P-L-U-P-A?
That doesn't make any fucking sense.
Dea Lupo? You think that's her name?
What the fuck's that one chick
from
Modern Family who's
married to Al Bundy in that show?
Sofia Vergara? Yeah, she's hot.
I really feel like Latina women have a
unfair advantage when it comes to
everything because they're just gorgeous.
You know?
That's why Ali Max not here.
And the guys, Latino.
I mean, the guys either look like
fucking Mario.
They either look like George Lopez
or they look like Ricky fucking
the fucking
what the fuck's that guy's name?
Ricky, fuck, who's the guy
who sings that one? Ricky Martin.
It's George Lopez or Ricky Martin.
You don't have an in-between.
Yeah, no, they're
beautiful.
It's not really a race.
Latino? Yeah, that's a race.
Would you call it a race? Yeah, it's a race.
In the drop down thing for race.
They just got it all going on.
I feel like Latinos
and Latinas have
some of the best genes
out there. They've got perfect skin.
It's right in between.
And they have sometimes, have you ever
seen them with blue eyes? They look
gorgeous.
They have like a darker
skin like a Latino with blue eyes
or green eyes.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
They're beautiful people.
Yeah, they really are. That's what we're all going to
look like eventually.
We're just going to be, we're all going to be
tan like that. You ever see the movie,
you ever see Zendaya?
The actress?
She's Spider-Man's
girlfriend in the new movie?
Yeah.
I think that's like the where we're going
race wise. Zetaia?
Zendaya. Zendaya.
It's like that theory that
in like 100, 200 years everybody will
just be like have this like neutral
skin tone, like this brown skin tone.
But it's not like black, it's not
white, it's kind of like a caramel.
Caramel? Maybe that's already happened
before though in the past. As globalization
happens, like
fucking globalists, we're going to
become fucking assimilated.
But the thing is,
if that was the thing, everybody would be
beautiful, you know?
Yeah.
If that was the way, like if only
the best, the best like reproduced
or like everybody,
like only the best gene
survived,
we would all be the most beautiful
and athletic people on the planet, like everybody.
Oh no, because...
But the thing is, I guess to a point
that actually is a thing,
because if you look at like paintings from like
the fucking like
1600 and shit, people looked
ugly as fuck.
We don't just need athletic people, we need people
that are smart. No, I'm saying
like in nature,
beauty is an actual
trait that is
what's not
dominant. But in the recent
hundred, few hundred
years, intelligence
is more selected for than beauty.
But the thing is, if you actually like look at
it like, people
have gotten more attractive
over time, but people
have also gotten a lot uglier.
Like, I feel like, I feel like the
polar eye, like the polar opposites
have kind of like got
better and worse
at the same time. Because like,
look at fucking people like Margot Robbie
and shit, like if you look at her, it's like that
is fucking next level
stratosphere. And you look at somebody like fucking
Steve Buscemi,
like you have these two
fucking extremes on fucking the other ends.
Like, the people are getting fucking
more beautiful and more ugly.
I think it's because the ugly people are breeding with
ugly people and the beautiful people are breeding
with more beautiful people. So it's
going to be a fucking, like, it's going
to be a society of just
super like troll people and like
elven like princesses.
It's
going to end up being Duns and Dragons because
it's going to be fucking, we're going to have dwarf fucking
like ugly dudes and
fucking elven princesses. Eventually
dude, it's I mean
what was I going to say about
that? What's her face? Who's the one
from Barbie? That's because girls be fucking
dating ugly dudes. Yeah,
girls stop dating ugly girls. That's why
that's why fucking natural selection
doesn't happen for like the
more beautiful people
because girls be dating ugly dudes.
Yeah, she's pretty but without makeup, dude.
I don't think she'd be anything crazy.
No, I mean even without makeup she's still-
Shut up Sobe.
Shout out who? Sobes.
Who's that? Beepus.
Oh fuck.
Like Jerry
Springer, he's a
he's a guy. He's not very
attractive.
Jerry Springer was like 80.
Peewee Herman died. Yeah, that's
wild. Yeah, you see that shit?
Yeah, last thing I heard about him, he was jerking off
in movie theaters. Movie theater, yeah.
You know, we've all been there.
Yep.
Why aren't you allowed to jerk off in strip clubs?
You know? I mean
you are, bro. I think there's
I think some of them- Keep shows.
There's a shady one close to here.
Is there? Yeah, where
you could go in a back room
and she would strip for you
and you would rub one out.
Yeah. I think that's illegal.
So I heard. Is it?
I think that's illegal. Why? There's no contact.
I guess it'd be like porn, I guess.
I don't know why it'd be illegal.
I mean, I know at like some like
sex shops, they have like
the back rooms with like the things.
Maybe indecent exposure. Probably, yeah.
Or something. But like
wouldn't like, if indecent
exposure was like enforced, wouldn't all
strip clubs be illegal? Oh yeah.
Well, it's only indecent if it's a
fucking guy doing it. It's true.
Women can actually go out in public without
shirts on. Can they? Yeah.
In New York state, it's completely legal for a woman
to walk around without a shirt on.
No shit. That's fucking awesome.
That's actually, that's like, look it up in New York state
law. It says that a woman could
have exposed breasts in public
and not get in trouble. I mean,
you could get in trouble for disturbing
the peace, but indecent exposure, that's
not a thing for that.
Because that's like sexist. Yeah. Right.
They had to take that one off the books.
Like whipping out your dick, that's indecent
exposure.
That'll stop a fucking party, bro.
Everything's
going good. Girl takes her shirt off, party
gets better. Guy whips out his dick.
Everybody's like, like the music stops.
Like you're like,
Party's fucking over. Everybody's
going home. Yeah.
It's wild how it's that different.
All it takes is a dick to fuck things up.
But like if a pussy comes out too,
that's also indecent exposure. It's not
aggressive though. I mean, it could be.
A vagina's so much less aggressive.
Have you seen some vaginas? They're scary
looking. Because it's so, it's like
vague. You know? It's so
it just like kind of blends in.
You're like, oh, okay. You see a dick, you're like,
I know exactly what that is.
Fucking aggressive.
It's like a fucking, it's like a
bull like. Before I knew. Like doing that thing
with its head. Yeah.
When I was a kid and I didn't know what like
sex was or like the difference between
boys and girls, I just knew that girls had tits.
Like that's the only thing. I thought they had like
the Barbie, like nothing.
I thought it was just like flat. And I'm like,
what the fuck's going on? Because they wear like bikinis and I'm like,
there's, there's nothing there. Like
I didn't know when I was a kid, like there's
there's something else there. Like when I was
a kid, I was like, do they just
not have anything there?
Dude, learning about
sex is just, it was
so awkward in my house because
my parents are so religious.
And I
was actually on this
story. I read it. Oh
no. I was on this read for like
people who used to go
to the Jehovah's Witness Church.
And they're telling stories.
Dude, they used to have this fucking book.
It was called Young
People Ask. And
they, in it, they're taught, there's a section
on self abuse and masturbation.
Right? Wait,
self abuse and masturbation was in it?
Yeah, dude. And it shows this kid with his head down
saying that, you know,
this is Timmy and he really struggles with
masturbation.
They call it self abuse.
And I just, dude, I thought
it was like the worst thing in the world. And I remember
9-11 happened.
And I'm like, fuck, dude, this
is really the end. Armageddon's coming.
I'm going to die. I'm not. I'm going to jerk
off. Right? No, I'm like, dude,
I'm, I gotta be done
jerking off. I gotta stop.
Right? I can't be doing this. I'm sobered up.
I'm never gonna, I'm never, I'm
gonna die. How old are you, like 12? Like 12.
Yeah. Yeah, I was only jerking off
at 12. So that's the hard thing. I was jerking off
at fucking 10 years old. That was a problem.
Wow. That's really. Yeah. That's like
I was shooting blanks. Like I wasn't even like, like
yeah. On this episode, Dan
jerks off to 9-11. No, I did not
say that. No, he did jerk off to the color purple though.
I did not say that. That's going to be in the goddamn
transcripts. I did not say that.
Dan jerked off to the color
purple. So, I
know I didn't. It was an episode of Oprah.
She was looking fine that day. So
so the whole thing,
like Jehovah's Witnesses believe that if
you like sin, you're
you're gonna die at Armageddon and you're not
gonna make it into paradise, right?
So. You guys suck. Yeah.
Not us. I'm not part of that. But
you know, that's, that's what I
grew up believing. So dude, 9-11 happened.
I'm like. We're fucked. Fuck.
I gotta stop jerking off, dude. I stopped for like
an entire week jerking off
just because I thought Armageddon
was coming. One whole week.
And then, did I ever tell the story
about how my friend was like, my friend
got caught beating his fucking knee?
No. And so he didn't know what to say.
He was autistic, right? We were friends. He was
16. I was like 12.
So. How friendships work.
Yeah. So
he got caught beating off and
he told his mom. He got freaked
out and didn't know what to say. And he's like, oh well, Dan
does it more. So his fucking
mom pulls me aside at church and she's
like, so James told me
that's your self-abuse. That
you have a problem with
masturbation.
And I was like.
Bro. I mean.
Yeah. I don't know that it's a
problem. I
do it. And she's like, well,
if you need help stopping,
we're here for you.
She's trying to fuck you, bro.
No. She was not.
She was dead serious.
This is a very
serious issue and you need to stop.
I mean, I never tell the story
of like the time, like when I had
my dad, like was just like.
We need to have a conversation.
Oh yeah. The awkward drive.
No, but before that, before that,
like this was like before
that, like the first time that I got caught with
like shit on the computer. I didn't know
clearing my history was.
Boobs.
Pretty much like I was like, I was like
that. And then I went on to YouTube and I typed
in girls kissing
girls.
And I'd watch that for like 15 minutes
and I'm like, yo, this is pretty cool.
And then I'd be like
girls touching other girls.
And like
it just progressed like back
back in the day where like YouTube, you could
actually have that.
But like
it was really funny
because like, like my parents
apparently found that out and like my
parents were sitting at like the, the
like
have a conversation and I'm like, fuck
and they're like, so
we found some pretty
grotesque searches
on the internet.
And I'm like, uh, wasn't
me. I don't know
what you're talking about. It might, it might have been somebody
else, but wasn't me.
And they're like, like
we, yeah, it was you.
I'm like, nope. Why are there 52
visits to horse come duck?
But like, like when I was
like in like my teenage years,
like, and I was like real bad with that.
Like you ever get to the
point where you were like on like
page like fucking 30 of
like Pornhub and you're just like
no,
no.
Dude, yeah, used to be, used to be
problematic. You get to like
page 30 and like you'd start getting to like
some like real weird shit, like at page
30. And you're just like, nope.
Nope.
And like, it's like fucking
inflation fetish and
inflation fetish. You never heard
that one? No. Dude, these people
are fucked up. They like, they get in like
it's pretty much like a ball like that you're
sitting on, but they blow themselves
up inside like the ball and
they fucking like whack off inside like
a fucking like bouncy ball thing. It's fucking
wild. I thought something like this
was when you fucking. No, there's multiple
there's multiple inflation fetishes
because there's like ones where like they stick like
a fucking like, like they get, it's like
a, I guess a hentai thing where they stick like
a fucking like pump up someone's ass
and they pump up their entire body
till they look like a balloon. And like
some people get off to that shit.
Dude, there are some weird
ass fetishes like furries. Have
we ever talked about furries on the podcast?
Extensively. I fucking hate
furries. Furries are a problem.
Like, like. I think
it's just autism. Like
Lola Bunny ruined an
entire group of human beings.
Lola Bunny. Yeah, from Space Jam.
Oh yeah.
Like that sent people down
some dark paths. It's fucking hot, dude.
Remember when we said which character, which cartoon
character would you fuck? Yeah. And mine was
her. Yeah. Gosh. I think
you're just the, you're a starting furry, bro.
Lola Bunny
porn. Oh, God.
There's so much of that.
Oh, my God. I was a big Jessica
Rabbit guy, actually.
You know, from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Oh, damn. Yeah.
What's going on there?
What's going on here?
There's a lot of shit going on
here. This is like
doomscrolling again.
All right. You know what?
We're going to take another break
and maybe
we'll be back.
That's kind of cool.
We'll be back on Untitled Podcast.
Welcome back to
Untitled Podcast.
The final
curtain.
What's that?
We're just playing the song.
No,
it's just the end of the episode.
So here's what I really want
to see from you this week. I want to
fucking email
Untitled Podcast 73
at Gmail dot com.
Please fucking email us.
For the love of Jesus Christ.
Email us with your fucking
tits. If you're above age.
We want to see hot sauce
on your tits.
Elijah's
red hot ghost pepper sauce.
I don't even want to see your tits.
You're probably not great looking.
Just email
us a
picture of anime
tits.
Yeah.
Yeah, be good.
Like us on Facebook
and Twitter.
I mean X.
Like us on X, X, X.
Tentacion.
Do we have any likes on Facebook?
Yeah.
You know the It Will Kill guy?
The It Will Kill guy from
Forge and Fire?
I followed him on our Facebook page
just to see what would happen.
You followed a
class E celebrity.
Yeah, so like us on fucking X
and Facebook.
And
do it your way.
Absolutely brother. As always,
be kind to yourselves. And each other.
Oh, we out.
Switch it up
this week. For all we
know, robots have souls. We just
don't know if they do or don't. How do you know?
Have you ever
been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones
to inhabit this planet?
Fuck no.
No, no, we are
jumping down this fucking rabbit hole.
Yes, we are.
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts.
Extended
episodes.
Where the fuck did the Siermans come from?
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from?
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
Oh, they're killing
all the already born babies and
selling them to the Chinese.
That's just amazing.
Somewhere in China,
in some base,
There are super soldiers that are at least
9 or 10 feet tall.
They have bread
and super soldiers.
Then they are extraterrestrials? They are aliens.
I do not
agnoseate with them.
What the fuck.
One...
RAAAARGHHHHH!
RAAAAAARGHHHHH!
We gotta go to the fucking moon because J-J-JMK got assassinated by the fucking government!
He got killed by the CIA!
JFK was killed by the government!
Before my eyes, while holding their pulse, feel them die of this virus.
You feel bump bump bump BEEEEEEEEP
nothing they're fucking gone I've seen it happen I think that the government has
taken it to the next level with the birds they know what birds are going to
cross paths with you that you are going to be able to raise and they are gonna
make them so fucking real they're gonna sink money into them because they know
that if you put that motherfucker in a cage they're gonna be a fucking bitch
you can cut it open you're gonna see blood guts no circuitry but let me tell
you their technology which by the way big brother is the overlord
George Soros is an actual Nazi collaborator okay I'm not fucking lying
it's fucking real okay look it up look it up he says that he was doing this shit
George Soros actually worked with the fucking Nazis during the home he says that he was doing it just to survive but he fucking loved it he was having a great fucking time doing this shit
George Soros is the fucking devil okay he's not fucking doing this shit
George Soros is fucking evil he's the actual fucking ringleader for all this shit
he's fucking put down a whole bunch of shit
just don't fucking get it okay
everybody like
Donald Trump the fucking word person out there
fuck Trump right?
he's not the actual fucking leader
it's George Soros
it's Bill Gates it's fucking Elon Musk
it's everyone out there
everybody says
everybody
Elon Musk is so cool he made like a place for him
the actual government is trying
the actual new government
which is George Soros and all his fucking
Nazis who are actually the ones that are
fucking all of them
the queer politicians are paid off by the fucking bill
the pain fucking
The bate