The following program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
Fewer discretion is advised.
This program is intended for mature audiences and may cause cancer in at-risk populations.
I'm here with Tyler and new special guest Dan Parley.
Oh my god.
Other Dan.
New Dan.
New Dan, we replaced him.
He's been out on a tour for a year.
Tour of duty.
I think we can turn down the music now.
It's fading, bro.
It's fading.
It's a fade.
We're all wearing hats.
I got a comment on my hat today from my family.
They're like, your hat's falling apart.
Maybe it's time to replace it.
I'm like, no, I've had this hat for seven years.
It may have holes in it.
It may look like shit, but I'm going to keep wearing it.
I should have brought my pope hat.
I should have wore one of those in Somalia.
Spread Christianity.
God bless.
Bro, so tell us about your fucking tour.
Oh, bro.
Fuck, you ever have sand all the way up in your ass crack
that you shit it out more of your sand than you've ever seen in your life?
I feel like that'd be a problem.
It was a problem.
I saw the medic about it.
He was like, dude, where are you putting the sand?
How is it up there?
No, it was just really hot every day.
Although it was really cool at night.
Got down to the low 70s. It was really nice.
I'm guessing it was like a hot, humid weather.
Well, compare it to the humidity here.
It was like that.
Texas was worse.
Texas was like anywhere from like 10 to 20 percent humidity.
That's where I got bloody noses.
In Somalia, I didn't.
If you go from our humidity to Somalian humidity back to Texas humidity,
you're going to get bloody noses.
Yeah, because Texas has like zero.
It's horrible. Fuck Texas.
I'm never going back there again.
But yeah, Somalia, we got there.
We got to Djibouti first.
And then we took a C-130 down to Somalia.
And as soon as you got there,
and as soon as you got off the plane after being in Texas
and then landing in Somalia, or not Somalia, Djibouti.
Djibouti, where's that?
It's north of Somalia.
So if you look on a map, Somalia is like the northeastern tip of Africa.
It's called the Horn of Africa.
So I'd recommend you Google Maps that shit so you can get an image of what I'm talking about.
Casey's real bad at geography.
Yeah, so the Horn of Africa.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not. I'm a king at geography, just not of the US.
I couldn't even get where Ohio was the other day.
Ohio's pretty close.
Yeah, I feel like one of the things I know a lot about.
Okay, where's China then?
What do you mean where the fuck is China?
Where's Sri Lanka?
It's in fucking East Asia.
Do you know where Sierra Leone is?
I know Sri Lanka is off India.
Where's Sierra Leone?
Sierra Leone.
That's in Africa, right?
Well, one point.
What part of Africa? North, south, east, west?
That's going to be west.
Okay, good.
What's wrong with Sierra Leone?
It's a place that's hot.
Aside from the massive child warfare that's happening.
Probably poverty, warfare, and the constant mutilations of all the other people in the villages.
Oh, it's a country?
Oh, yes, yes.
Okay, I see. It's by Guinea, Liberia.
I'll go there.
You think you could point to it on a map if you didn't look at it?
What?
Close your eyes.
I want to go right there.
You assholes.
I literally asked you fucking geography questions and you get them fucking wrong.
Hey, listen.
I got it right. I know where I was.
I was there.
That fucking him and Ali Mac.
No, no, no, no, no, no. I get it right. Ali Mac is absolutely retarded.
I agree.
You listen to the episodes where Ali Mac fucking plays who wants to be a millionaire.
It's one of the funniest things because he's so stupid.
He argues with himself.
Ask him anything about early American history.
And he just loses his mind.
It was just genocide after genocide.
You're not wrong, but which part?
Also, every single episode we ask him who's on Mount Rushmore and he still can't tell us.
Every time.
Like he gets George Washington, Lincoln, Trump.
And like he just can't figure out after that.
Jimmy Carter.
It doesn't fucking learn. It's like a non sentient AI.
You could just Google it for next time.
Like if it's a repetitive question, expect it.
Have it ready on your phone.
It's like write it on your head.
The human sent iPad.
It doesn't learn to fucking read.
It's kind of like.
Fuck, what's that thing?
Oh, when fucking Beetlejuice is like spell red.
R.E.D.
Wrong.
I said red, not red.
So Tyler, what's this shit about fucking acid in fucking 9-11?
Oh, so this video.
Oh boy.
So I got it recommended to me because I fucking like watched one video on Joe Rogan talking about DMT.
So I just get a whole bunch of like drug trip like like videos recommended to me.
And, you know, obviously if they sound interesting, I watched them.
You do drugs, bro.
Damn, bro. Do you love this episode?
So I was watching one and the fucking title of the video was called the man who did acid on 9-11.
And I'm like, what?
Honestly, I would click that.
So I saw that and I'm like, OK, and the first picture that comes up is just the second plane hitting.
I'm like, oh, that's that's not what I was expecting to see.
Setting the tone real quick.
And he's just like, so it wasn't the guy himself.
It was a guy reading the story of the guy.
But this guy, he's like, listen, he did acid like he went to New York City on September 8th of 2001.
And like he was there for like vacation with his buddies or something like his buddies lived in Brooklyn.
OK, so he was like going there and he's like, this isn't the first time that he's tripped.
He said he's tripped like a whole bunch of times.
But he was like, that was the fucking first time.
Dude, that'd be brutal.
I don't know what he saw while he was tripping like watching the planes like, oh, dude, it gets fucking nuts.
Was it like so he's like Superman?
You've never even tripped.
You haven't tripped either.
You haven't tripped.
I tripped over my foot the other day.
OK, me?
I don't do drugs.
I don't.
But I don't contone drugs either.
This is just an interesting condone.
Condrone.
Assholes.
If you love drugs, email us on title podcast 73 at gmail.com.
Please email us.
Tell us the drugs.
We're totally not watched.
So we like the guy like basically did like the whole like pre things for like the first couple days.
He is in New York City.
So on September 10th at midnight, they took they took their first hit of acid and they said it was just like a normal like, you know, like trip.
They were like, you know, seeing stuff.
They went up to the roof and looked at the Manhattan skyline when they were when they were like, you know, high and they're like, whoa, man, dude.
So they said they were sitting up on the roof like all night and then like it got to be around, you know, five o'clock, six o'clock in the morning.
And they're coming down, so they took another drop of acid.
Of course.
So they they were cooking by the time that the first plane hit.
And they said that they were like they weren't outside when it first happened, but they felt like the entire building shake and they thought it was the drugs.
And they're like, whoa, man, what's going on, dude?
And then they fucking like just farted and shook the building.
And they like went upstairs because like they just heard a whole bunch of people going up the stairs.
So like they went upstairs.
They just imagine like being like one of the worst days in American history and you're high off your ass.
You just tripping balls around all of the people who are stone sober, just like scared and sobbing.
So they go up there and he says like he looks at the building and the smoke is like turning into animals faces and people's faces and like centipedes and shit.
And he's like he's like he's like I could see the smoke and a smoke was alive.
He saw like faces and shit in the smoke, like yelling and screaming and like the fire was turning like emerald green, he was saying.
And he's like looking at it and like the skyline when the smoke was going into it, the sky turned black, he said.
Like and he's like looking at it and he's like, fuck, man, some serious shit over there.
The devil just got released and he was just sitting there and he's just like, whoa.
And then the second plane hit and he said when he saw the second plane hit, it looked like a kaleidoscope hit the building because when the building got hit, he said,
when the explosion went out the other side, he said it looked like the colors of a kaleidoscope exploding out into the city.
And then he said all he heard because then like everything went silent and he said he felt like he could hear everybody in the building screaming at the same time.
That's not a sound I want to hear ever.
And he said that like it lasted for fourteen minutes of just screaming.
I guess that's how long it took for a lot of people to perish and he's just like fuck, man, George Bush blow up the fucking buildings to.
Yeah, I wonder if he was, you know, imagine this right.
This guy was tripping balls, right?
And then if someone else started tripping balls as they jumped out the window and they could communicate all that be fucked.
That would be fucked, dude, like as they're just falling like that 10 second drop or however long it took them to get from like the top floor to the bottom.
I think it was a good like 15 seconds.
Yeah, like that's a conversation right there.
Yeah.
And then I went down another rabbit hole and started watching 9 11 as it happened.
And it was like an hour and 15 minute long video of like fucking from when the first plane hit until like the day afterwards.
And it was a fucking really heartbreaking thing to watch because I never saw this specific angle of it.
And the second the second tower was falling and they were running away from the cloud.
And one of the firefighters from New York literally just ripped off his like his his pack and he ripped off his helmet.
He smashed it on the ground and he just fell onto the ground to started crying.
And I'm like, that's fucked up.
I've seen a lot of angles of that because they showed it to us many times because like it's a big thing for us in the military.
Like that was what really sparked off the last 20 years of any kind of real fighting that we've had.
And it's like it is huge in our culture.
Yeah.
So like seeing a lot of angles and a lot of different like media of it's like, oh, it hits different.
Also, I think especially being from New York, it hits a little extra hard to home for us.
Yeah.
Because like I've talked to people from like other parts of the country and they're like, it was like bad.
But like they don't have like the same like like none of the connection to it.
Like even then, I was talking about it versus someone who lives in the city is different, is very vastly different.
I mean, on that scale, it's like it's like us talking to someone from California versus like them talking to someone like us.
You know, one of the planes was hijacked when it was like almost over like Albany.
Yeah. The Corning Tower was actually the the the tip off point where they did that.
And like my dad, my dad swears to this day because my dad was working as a state worker down in in Albany at the time.
And he said, like, and back then you had to go out and like put coins into the to the to the parking meter every like couple hours or else you get like a ticket.
And those motherfuckers in Albany are ruthless with parking tickets.
But he was like he was like putting in the things and he's like looked up into the sky and he still says like and he swears up and down.
And like my dad isn't like one to like make up a story like that.
And like he like looked at he said he looked up because he heard like a plane and he's just like, what the fuck?
He looked up and he said he saw a jumbo jet turn like this. Yeah.
I like to like a fighter jet maneuver type thing. I don't know about you as well.
And he says and he kind of says like, I've never seen a plane do that.
He's just like that was that was really lower than normal.
It was he said like it was like, you know, a little bit lower than normal.
But he said that like it like turned because it followed because the the the corn tower was where it like they knew where to turn down.
And they went down the Hudson River from from Albany.
Like taking it right where you need to go. Yeah.
Yeah. I'd say if they took off in Boston and they were all they were probably like twenty thousand feet.
Yeah. Like not up to their cruising altitude yet.
Yeah. So probably halfway. Yeah. Those planes like cruise like thirty five thousand feet.
So yeah. Five to forty. Yeah.
But he said like when he saw that it like turned sideways.
Yeah. If you can see the details of it turning, it's no higher than like since you left, I've become like very into planes.
He's on the plane. Show me your model. I want to help you.
So fucking like I say train or plane train. Show me your model plane.
I mean, he plays Microsoft Flight Simulator.
Listen, you should really get on DCS.
Me and Delaney are into that ship.
Yeah. Are you into like actually commercial airliners or like fighter planes?
Both. Well, I like you play any like sims.
A flight sim. Twenty twenty.
You should like do you have a hotas?
What do you have a hotas? Oh, yeah.
I have the controller with the thrust and the stick.
Yeah, that's a hotas. It's not I don't know if that's that brand. It's something like that.
No, hotas is what it's called. It's like I don't remember what it stands for.
Yeah, I got it. Yeah.
But like I have one of those too because I play a game called DCS World.
It's on Steam. It's a flight game.
Yes. Oh, it's all fighter jets, though.
And every button inside the cockpit is interactable.
Oh, it's very and you can actually like they have proper manuals about the planes.
You can actually learn how to cold start, hot start and do all this cool shit with them.
It's on a weird topic. I don't know how to fly.
I know how to fly. I could just hop into an F16 right now on a weird topic off of that.
Do you know how to fly commercial jets?
No. I mean, I could probably go sit up in the cockpit one day.
I'll be like, hey, buddy, I'm here to learn.
Teach me crash course. Did you ever do you ever see like the I think it was like, is it World of Tanks or something like that?
Like they they leaked classified info on Tanks Thunder.
That was that one.
Yeah. And they leaked classified information.
Be like, no, this tank actually works this way.
Yeah. The US government was like, what the fuck are you doing?
Some dumb kid, literally, because he some I don't I think he was actually in the military.
And I mean, yeah, because they leaked classified details on tanks.
Yeah. He he was in I don't remember what I think he was actually in the military.
I don't remember what branch probably the army, the only one who has tanks as much to my knowledge.
And he leaked these documents about the Abrams.
I think it was and to win an argument argument.
He leaked it on Reddit. So it's on there forever.
You can't clean that off. You can still find it.
It's very hard to, but you can still find it because the the cybersecurity of the military kind of watches for that stuff.
So it's like keywords and pings.
I don't know the full story. I'm one Avros tank manual.
Yeah, I'm not a cybersecurity analyst.
I don't know how the hell they do it, but they do it.
Yeah, they clean it off Reddit. Yeah.
But this kid just to win an argument with someone and War Thunder, by the way, the company who makes it is I believe it's a Russian company.
Yeah, you can Google that.
And they're honestly really good about not having bias in the game.
Yeah. So they're historically accurate and actual like specs are mostly accurate.
Like the public, you can still get a published manual and description of what the M.R. Abrams and the most recent model of it.
I don't know what the newest like is anyone is.
I think it's like the A three or four.
I don't know what the fuck it is, but the army or the military also just came out with a new striker type vehicle for like light assault.
It's replacing the Bradley and instead of having that 20 millimeter autocannon, it's got like a 105 cannon on the top of it.
They just put a turret on as opposed.
But yeah, you could find these documents online.
It's public knowledge.
Like you can Google like the manual for it.
It's going to have certain parts redacted and a lot of detailed information about weapon systems, electronics and capabilities.
Yeah, that's not going to be in there.
It's going to tell you what it has.
Like it's the main cannon.
You can look at it and measure it with a measuring tape.
You like, yeah, that's a cannon.
That's 120 millimeter cannon.
Yeah, dude, like you can just check Google it.
But this kid decided to publish actual classified shit.
And it's like it wasn't even just like because there's multiple levels of classification.
There's like unclassed, which is like color coded.
Unclassed is not public, but it's I can get to it.
Then there's like secret, which I can get to as well.
And there's top secret, which I can't get to.
I don't have a TS clearance.
So it's like this kid published like and then there's different levels of top secret clearance.
It's like fucking six different levels of that.
I don't even know.
So like this kid published, I don't even know what level of TS clearance this was, but he published it on fucking Reddit.
Actually, this is why the tank actually works.
I remember how long it was up for, but then it made it up to his chain of command and they they managed to track him through his username on Reddit.
This kid got just fucking destroyed.
And I don't know if he's still a member of society.
I think he might be in Leavenworth. Leavenworth, by the way, for those who don't know, is the military prison.
He's never getting out.
Yeah, you're going to be in there for a while.
It's usually for war criminals.
Just imagine that guy going in for leaking.
He's just like, oh, I'm with the bad, bad guy.
Yeah, you're in there with people who went to Fort Hood.
I'm sorry.
It's not Fort Hood anymore.
I don't know what the fuck it's called.
Yeah, it's some.
Fort Kaventkazov. I don't fucking know.
Because it was named after a Confederate general or something.
Yeah, they renamed like 10 military installations.
Oddly enough, Fort Drum is still Fort Drum, also known as the armpit of the fucking world and nobody wants to go there.
But I go there all the time because it's fucking horrible.
But yeah, this kid leaked this shit.
It got taken down.
But the people who run the game are like, uh, we're not going to put that.
Hey, thanks for the information.
It's really helpful to the game and all, but we legally can't use this.
I think they should like put out like a disclaimer being like, hey, guys, don't leak classified information.
They did immediately afterwards.
They're like, hey, for the sake of your own safety, don't leak any classified documents.
We have our own way of getting this information legally.
Don't leak classified information.
We don't need your help.
So yeah, that happened.
It's worth it.
It looked like it was a lot of fun.
I play the game.
I put too many fucking hours in.
I think I've got like 300 hours.
I mean, I have nothing compared to the amount I've played the game for years.
My blood sugar.
Okay, don't die.
If you die, like I'm not an EMT anymore.
I am.
He is like, I have a general knowledge of what I do, but like, I'm just going to beat you over the head with the microphone until you come back to life.
So you might be able to answer this.
Why the fuck does the military name everything M1 M like this?
Like, I don't remember what the M's.
I think it's just model, but they used to name.
So the tanks also have like a name.
So the M1 Abrams or like the Patton, the Pershing, the Sherman tank.
I can't remember what it was.
Helicopters are named after in Native American tribes.
Yeah, like if that is PC anymore, I don't give a shit.
But anyway, Native Americans tribes is is all helicopters.
Planes are I want to say they're just types of snakes or various reptiles because you've got like the Viper.
I don't really know because I thought the Viper was a was a was a helicopter.
No, it's F16 Viper.
Cobra.
Yes.
That's the Marine Corps attack helicopter.
But then there's the the F15 fighting Eagle or whatever.
I don't remember if it's the Eagle or not. But yeah.
And then the A10 Warthog.
I don't know what the hell the planes are named after.
Just fucking animals.
Animals found in the States, I guess.
I don't know.
And then tanks are named after old generals, I believe.
And then ships are named after typically states.
Yeah.
Typically states.
And with a few exceptions.
The Midway and shit like.
Yeah.
I think Midway the territory, isn't it?
I don't actually know.
I don't know if that's a territory.
Midway Island. Yeah.
Because territory is the U.S. territory.
It became a territory really quick after World War II.
My uncle, my uncle was stationed and so was my grandfather.
My great grandfather were stationed on the Midway.
So that's the only reason why I know the Midway ship.
Not to backtrack too far, but HOTAF stands for Hands on Throttle and Stick for your knowledge.
Anyway.
Yes.
So I have the.
Fuck yeah.
Thrust and then the stick.
I just remember like seeing like the fucking.
Oh, the M1 Grand.
I believe it's just model.
But I guess that's a Google.
That's the question for Google.
Google will tell you anything you want.
And they have like the M16, the M4, the M4A.
I think the new rifle coming out.
I think they're going to call it the M5.
No, the new rifle.
They already have the contract set.
It's going to be.
It's testing in Special Forces right now because Special Forces and Ranger Bat always get all the new stuff first.
Then Active because again, it is going to get it and then we're going to get it in like a decade.
Maybe more.
It took us.
Made by SIG now, isn't it?
Yeah.
Sig Sauer's got the contract because Colt's no longer an American owned company.
Really?
Colt got sold to the Czechs.
Really?
Yep.
I didn't know that.
I believe it was the Czechs.
I'm pretty sure.
But Colt's no longer American.
So it is the Sig MPX Spear is the new service weapon and the new replacement for the 249 and the 240 is a boss.
Ass weapon.
Really?
It's oh my God.
If you if you know the YouTuber like Grantham and all.
Yeah.
Check out his videos on the new stuff because he does them on the Sig MPX Spear, which is the new service weapon and the new automatic belt fed, which is also the new squad automatic weapon.
So are they going to phase out like the M4 and shit?
Yes.
Are they just going to keep that kind of like as like arsenal?
They'll probably end up keeping it for a couple of decades because it took us you know we were still using the M16.
To like the 90s.
Vietnam era weapon.
No we still have them.
Really?
I trained with them in basic training.
Oh my God.
I had M16s in basic training and even in Iraq and Afghanistan we had M16s.
Usually they were the like M16A1s, which were the auto automatic variant I think.
M4A1 is the automatic variant, which is what we have now.
We had the burst fire up until a few years ago and then what they did was really stupid.
Instead of actually changing the lower receiver like a brand new one.
Yeah.
They would instead just put Xs on burst.
They just crossed it out and wrote automatic.
And the way you just switch a weapon from burst to automatic if it has that feature, they literally just shaved part of the pin off.
They're like there you go.
They just took a grinder and were like.
Yeah, it's good.
Send it off boys.
American ingenuity.
I know I talk about this every episode.
Did you see that video of the nine year old girl who shot her gun structure in the head with an Uzi?
I have seen that.
It's fucking insane.
I'm a shitty person, but I laughed at that the first time I saw it.
And I'm like, why would you give a nine year old a fucking Uzi retard?
This is your fault.
This is entirely your fault.
You deserve this.
You 100% deserve this.
And then I always fucking followed up that you ever seen to do with the 44 Magnum who was shooting it.
And then he didn't realize that the recoil did it.
And it went back and blew off his entire head.
I've seen the ones where people shoot like the Smith and Wesson 500.
Yeah.
And the recoil on that, if you have weak wrists, like really little wrists, it will break your wrist or fracture it at the very least.
You need to have control over that.
Like there's always a thing at gun ranges.
It's kind of a common sense thing.
If someone has never handled that caliber of weapon or they don't look like they have, give them one round, especially if it's a revolver that can kick back like that.
Because the way you prevent them from kicking it back and blowing their head off on it is having only one round.
Because the way the gun works, you pull the trigger and then it bounces and your hand rotates too.
And your hand will come down to try and instinctively grab it and your fingers still there.
So it'll pull the trigger again.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah, that happens.
But so, yeah, I've seen those videos and I'm like, that's really great for that person.
That's really great.
I was down in Florida when I went down for my grandfather's funeral.
It was also my birthday.
Happy birthday?
Yeah.
So I went down.
So it was for your happy birthday.
And we went to the gun ranges down in Florida, which are way different than the gun ranges up here.
Oh, yeah.
And you can find a gun range up here.
Dude, they were fucking awesome.
We got a, I got a AK-47 full auto that I got to shoot.
That was fun.
I got a M1911.
M1911?
You mean just the 1911?
The original like fucking like the original Colt 1911.
Yeah.
I want one of those so bad.
Dude, they're so fucking fun.
To get a restored one, like an original true Colt one, they're expensive as all hell.
Yeah, because I was shooting that, but it fucking kept jamming because it was so old.
They didn't take care of it.
They put too many rounds into it.
If you take care of those things and properly like maintenance them, they will never die.
They'll never jam.
They'll always be fine.
Because I was doing it and it was like fucking, and I was like, oh, I'll get the jam out in my hand.
I'll get the jam out.
And I'm like, I'm at a gun range.
I'll let the gun man.
They like it when you put it down.
Yeah.
I kind of did like a, it like the slide locked and I was just like, I was like, I was about to like, you know, take the slide off.
And I'm like, see now me, I'd be saying, they're like, I will take care of that thing myself.
I was going to.
And then I'm like, this isn't my weapon.
This is not my weapon.
And I'm like, I put it down and I kind of like was like, yeah, they like it when you were, when you don't touch the stuff that's not yours.
You're like, I just may have broken this.
Maybe they should fix it for me.
But yeah, like I've only been to a couple of ranges.
There's a nice one in right across in Troy.
Yeah.
It is the one across the bridge there.
That one is an indoor range.
Yeah. I've been there.
They don't.
We're so because you can't get an automatic.
We did full auto indoors in Florida.
Yeah. That you need your pro for that.
That sucked.
Yeah. I was wearing like the fucking headphones that they gave like the ear, the earmuffs that they gave us.
Yeah. Fucking sucked.
I was just like, oh my God.
If you're shooting indoors, like even outdoors, like we were two sets of ear.
We were the inner stuff like, yeah, foamies or you were like the nights.
Excuse me.
Where the nice stuff like the good like surefire stuff or whatever brand you have.
I have a nice set of those with like a tab that you pop in and out so you can hear.
And I also have my own set of outer ear.
So yeah.
So I have stuff that's mounted on my helmet and I have a set that's not that has a headband like these.
And then I have a specific one that I take only to the range if I'm not wearing a helmet or not connected to a radio.
So yeah, if you're indoors, you need to wear to you need to wear the inner end.
No, they just gave me the head.
I was like they just they were probably already deaf.
And that's why.
What?
I don't know.
I was just like this.
And I'm like, this is way louder than because I'm like I was used to shooting like fall.
I was outdoors.
Yeah. And I'm like, it's indoor.
So it's going to be louder.
And I'm like, whatever.
And I bet they didn't have proper sound protection on the walls.
Oh, no, it was funny to absorb.
It was like this.
Like this.
I like I had hearing damage.
I've had I have hearing damage over the years.
I have tinnitus.
So my ears just like ring ring every now and then.
Like usually it's one at a time and it'll just go deaf and I'll have a hear.
I'll just have ringing and it will just be like anywhere from like 30 seconds to a minute long of just deafening ringing like this.
I'll notice it coming on like I'll start to lose the hearing really slowly.
It's like it's like a 10 second process.
The hearing goes away.
I'm like, oh, tonight is tech.
Here it comes. And then the ringing starts and I can't hear anything.
It happened to me.
I was playing games the other night and it happened.
I was talking to a buddy and he's and I'm like and I had directional sound in the game.
Oh, fuck that.
So I'm like, I can't hear anything on my left side right now because my tinnitus is trying to kill me.
So there was that.
But yeah, like I have been very I was very good about it over the deployment of wearing proper hearing protection to my best of my ability until, you know,
someone fired a 50 caliber sniper rifle right next to me.
They fired the M108 Barrett.
Oh, my God. Right.
I was on the sniper tower with our snipers and they just shot this bear right next to me.
Mike, how?
Thanks for the warning.
And he was like, yeah, I'm just that bleeding because I knew they were going to shoot because I was shooting the one of the smaller rifles they had the 300 wind mag, which I love that one.
I'm going to buy that rifle.
It's a it's a really nice rifle, too, and I think the model of it is like they tested it.
It's like the most accurate stock rifle out of the box.
Really? So it's a solid rate.
It's a Remington 700 and 300 win mag inherently is a very good round.
Some will argue it's not.
But yeah, so I like that rifle.
I'm going to get one and you can get different chassis for it.
I'm sure cool shit.
Someone fired this Barrett right next to me with no warning and I'm like, tell me that was an ND so I can kick your ass.
So I can just throw you off this tower.
Asshole.
Dude. Oh, my God.
Speaking of I was watching Doomsday Preppers the other day because it's fucking hilarious and they had this fucking lunch and then they think like these 40 foot shipping containers in the backyard.
Their whole backyard is just shipping containers together.
And I was like, all right, and like this guy built like this big ass fucking complex in the middle of Texas.
He's like, it's called the Alamo.
I'm like, okay.
And fucking he like he like co co preps with this other dude.
Remember the Alamo when the world ends and he's like he co preps with this other dude and like they were like doing like firearms training.
They had like a tower on like their fucking property because they're fucking insane and like they're both in the things and it was one of the fucking funniest things ever.
He just goes Target acquired Tom and then you see a rack of fucking right.
It's like, oh, fuck.
And then he just goes three, two, one.
And then like the fire and it makes like the fucking ringing tonight is sound in like the fucking like camera.
And like I have some hearing like not nearly as bad as you do, but like I get like I get like the ringing.
Yeah, but like I can still hear.
Yeah, but like it fucking like they did that and it just shows the guy on the ground going.
And the paramedic who's like I'm like I'm like seems he's like you're not bleeding out of your ear.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's what they look for.
If you start bleeding on your ears, then it becomes a problem.
Yeah, but they're like you're you're okay.
He's just like and then he gets up and he throws up.
He's like I wasn't expecting that was too much.
That's like someone who's never been exposed to like that loud of a sound for that shockingly loud that also you can feel it.
Yeah, you can feel it, especially if you're like if you're near the barrel of there, the break, the breach of because it goes outwards.
Yeah, the compensator of a a Barrett.
It's it's designed so that it actually blows back so that pushes the force forward and it does a lot less damage on your shoulder like I have a 50 caliber Barrett and one away as less kick in the shoulder than a 12 gauge.
Really?
Yeah, I never fired a 50 cal.
It's a lot of fun.
If you ever the chance take it.
I had a chance when I was in Pennsylvania because they have like the outdoor gun ranges there.
Yeah, but it was a hundred.
So free as far as you can open carry in that state.
Yeah, I didn't know that, but it was a hundred and fifty dollars per shot for you and I'm like a hundred and fifty.
Yeah, I have never done smelling salt.
It's a tradition for guests to do one rip of them.
It's either that or a fucking.
It's either it's either that or thanks for doing it right in front of me and that makes me really want to do it even more now.
Carolina, I've done this so many times.
This is like the fucking strongest one there is.
Why would you can't be like like eased into this like I mean if you want like you know like three different bottles of them.
You put lube on when you put it in.
Let me compare.
Let me see how this one is.
This is the atomic shadow atomic rhino megaton.
What the hell?
Oh, okay.
Well, that was pretty strong to even bring it.
You didn't even get it to your nose.
I got to I got to try the last one here.
You just took that like a double hit.
Let me try that last one here.
This is the ward.
I don't think this is that's not as bad, but it that one like that it like burns that burns.
God in heaven.
Where's the fucking red line?
Red line right there, brother.
Red lines.
Oh, oh, you get it.
You gonna be okay over there.
So do I need to call them?
Oh, God, that one gave me a nose.
I just like go balls deep and try this hard one.
Go for it.
Probably.
I've never.
They're brutal.
Fucking die.
I feel like a full breath in just kind of like, oh, I can't breathe.
Oh, that'll wake your ass.
I'm crying out of my left eye only.
I know it was like in one of the nostrils.
Yeah, Ali back threw up after doing that.
Yeah, I was worried about just now, dude, Ali Max straight up, like, like we were doing
it and he just goes, oh, well, you took it pretty good for your first time.
I'm crying out of my left eye.
The first time that I did it, I was like crying.
Dude, my right eye is bone dry.
My left eye is sobbing right now.
Dude, I got a nosebleed from those.
My nose feels like I just snore.
I can't really say that because I've never done it.
But I feel like someone just took like salt and just shoved it up.
Fuck, man.
That one's not as bad.
You don't have to add water.
I'm still recovering from the first.
It's the same thing.
No, no, no, no, no.
Red line is the worst one.
Oh, fuck me.
That was pretty bad, too.
That one's pretty bad.
I tried to get the right.
I'm crying on the other side.
No, I feel like I have a stroke every time I do that.
Yeah.
So yeah, so it's me and Ali Mag ate ghost peppers.
I'm not eating ghost pepper.
I'm telling you right now, I'm not eating ghost pepper.
We also got Reapers, Carolina Reapers.
You fucking asshole.
Didn't fucking Ali Mag do that?
And like he was like crying.
Yeah.
And I'm not one who deals well with hot things.
Oh, I do awful hot things.
Now, my father, on the other hand, he grows ghost peppers in Carolina.
We did Reapers and habanero.
That smells fucking delicious.
No, I bet it does to you.
Oh my God, my nose is still fucked.
We got one more.
Is it like smelling salt?
No.
It smells horrible.
This one's the last one.
This is the last one.
Fucking hell, man.
You're making me do another one.
I'm going to try and get both nostrils at the same time.
That's the weakest one that we got.
For now.
We also have ampules.
And it just smells so bad.
I'm trying to like Pavlovian train you like the dogs.
Every time you hear an air horn, you just fucking get the pain.
They got ampules too.
Bro, that's supposed to open your sinuses.
I thought.
But like, my clothes now.
They're like, your brain's like, no, my brain is rejecting this so hard right now.
It's like, no, no, wrong, bad.
That looks like creatine.
Those are ampules.
No, not what he's holding the jar there.
Oh, yeah.
That is probably a smelling salt.
Oh, God.
I heard it's supposed to like open up your vessels and like help weightlifters.
That's why they do it.
They just smell it.
Still going.
And they're still going.
Still going.
What'd you just do?
I did an ampule.
Oh, my God.
Imagine smelling salts were strong enough where you could like put them in a room and
it would just make everyone just go fucking nuts.
Oh, we did a fucking thing where Ali Mac was going to fucking connect one of those to
a gas mask and do that.
And we're like, no, that'll kill you.
That might actually kill you.
Like, that was that smell.
That feeling was compared like it might actually choke you.
Let me actually read the ingredients.
This might actually be like it has ammonia.
And it's like on be or something.
There's no ingredients on it because you can't consume it.
I have a ingredient list, but it says like do not open in cars.
Do I have water drive really quick?
Do not add water.
Do not shake.
Please use extreme caution.
Do not open fuel or contain spaces.
Do not have cars.
We cannot stress this enough.
Keep out of eyes, call poison control if you ingested.
Yo, we should fucking do not use if you're pregnant because I would do two ingredients.
Yet it doesn't list the ingredients.
Thanks for that other than has has an Israeli gas mask and it has the exact connector that
one of the smelling salts container has like the twist on and then Ali Max like, yeah,
I'll do it.
I'll do it for a hundred bucks and everybody's like, you'll die out.
Wait, if he did what?
If he put, if he connected one of the things to the back, how long was he supposed to breathe
through the gas mask?
I think it was like two gulps of air like, yeah, like that would kill you.
You wouldn't get through the first one.
No, you sniff this.
It's a sniff.
It's not a deep breath.
It's a yeah.
And even then that's a lot like these are used for like working out.
Bro, I've seen the workout guys like we were holding it like a good like eight inches to
10 inches from our face.
Like these dudes put it under their nose like and then they like do a hard sniff like you're
starting cooking like and it's like, oh dude, those people are fucking nuts.
Imagine any fucking smell colors.
Yeah, dude, those fucking power lifters are scary.
They're terrifying, dude.
Like if you can do that with smelling salts, like strong ones too, because these dudes
aren't like buying like weak ones like no, they're probably say these are weak.
Now these are these are the high highest ones that you can get on the market.
Currently, they'd mark.
So I guess probably commercially like maybe like the professional people who have like
a meet a following or like I get some secret shit that you don't even want.
They're definitely on steroids.
It's like it shits from like Bulgaria or Columbia.
You can't even get this anywhere else.
So I have to fly there and pick it up.
So we also ask our guests if you have any ghost stories.
So there was this one time where I worked for this company and this one ambulance.
Ah, ambulance nine baby nine.
No, no, we actually did have some really spooky shit happen in Somalia.
Really?
Because the they got them African demons over there.
These are like Russian demons because the base we were on was built by the Russians,
I believe, in the 70s.
I said we just stole it from.
Well, they moved out.
They left.
So we just kind of took over.
I don't know.
The lore behind the lore.
So there's like a Google question and the base we're at.
You can really Google army bases in Somalia and it'll pop up like it's not.
It's not a secret thing to know.
Like the Google image, Google images of it is like, I don't know, like seven years old
of it, so there's nothing secret about it, nothing crazy.
But yeah, so like this there was this one building called the hotel because it used
to be a hotel.
I think it's a very weird shaped hotel.
It's shaped like a like a you, but it's not a finished roof.
There's just like metal framework over the top of it.
That's weird.
And it's really sketchy because I would walk across these frames just for pictures.
No flooring up there.
It's just literal framework like in an attic.
You see like, yeah, it was literally metal trusses.
So we would just climb over these for fun.
It was 40 feet in the air and it was a concrete pad below you.
So if you fell, you're fucking dead.
You're dead or you're severely broken and paralyzed paraplegic right now.
So but yeah, so we had this and I don't know the story if the Russians ever had like
engagements from this base or not.
Again, I don't know too much about the lore.
I just know that used to be Russian owned.
But we would at night for the night people, I would walk around that building when
because certain times my I would have certain things happening and I would just go to the
bathroom or whatever and I would call someone in for my relief and I would go to the
bathroom.
I'd walk through the through the back rooms of the hotel to get outside.
And it was really creepy because this is built by the Russians was falling apart and
there was Russian writing on the walls.
That's fucking scary.
It's like you're in Cold War.
Yeah, it's like a Cold War era building and it's like and then like a couple times you'd
hear like someone talking in the night, a couple.
There's like a handful of people who experienced this and they would hear like talking in
the hotel at night.
But there's no actual rooms in it that are functioning like they're like they're
broken down like this was a luxury room compared to what was in the hotel.
Jesus like these are good walls.
Good floor.
Those are great stairs.
Those are like stairs of gold.
But when they're like the stairs were crumbling to pieces, the walls were falling apart.
The floor was like half there.
And you just sometimes hear this talking and sometimes you could distinguish what
language it was and it was not English.
It was like I heard it clearly one time it was Russian.
Don't ask me what they said because I don't speak speak Russian.
I can't even imitate it.
I don't speak Russian.
I don't know what you're saying.
Oh shit, I should read that.
Good old Carl.
Fucking Carl, man.
So yeah, like we had these.
It was mostly just voices.
Nobody saw any like apparitions or anything like that.
And I was really hoping for it because I was like, you're down.
I should call my buddy and have him come all the way.
I'll just fly.
I'll be like, yeah, I'll fly you into this combat zone, bro.
Like the shooting like every other day and like, don't worry about it though.
We're good.
We got you saved.
I'll be impressed.
Just wear big, fresh.
You have to wear this plate carrier though and this helmet.
You're going to look like a weird dude.
But you know, yeah, you're going to find some ghosts.
I'll be like ghosts.
Bring your EMF reader.
We're going to need it.
I swear to God, if you took an EMF reader to that building, you'd you'd fucking find some shit.
You would find some shit.
That seems like that seems like a legit like in the Russians did some shady shit.
I did.
I swear if we dug deep enough under that hotel, we'd find bodies.
If we dug in the ground around it, we'd find bodies.
There's probably a reason as to why the impact zone for our mortar rounds was where it was.
Because of you know, that's where they hit the bodies.
You know, if you blow them up, then they don't exist.
We blew up a few warthogs too.
Because we had like warthogs are an invasive species.
Well, not really invasive.
They're evil.
They're not aggressive.
They're evil.
Yeah, they look evil.
I actually brought home a warthog tusk.
Really?
I forgot to bring him with me.
I was going to do a show and tell.
Yeah, dude.
But yeah, I'll bring it.
I'll bring it another time.
But yeah, we had warthogs.
So we were shooting the seals and a lot of shooting them.
And the reason we're in practice.
Yeah, the reason we're allowed to just kill them willy nilly.
We did eat them as well.
And they're so tasty.
Really?
They are delicious.
They taste like bacon or where they make bacon out of them.
But they tasted like regular.
We made pulled pork.
Really?
Yeah, it was delicious.
I mean, we are talking about this like the it's tougher.
It's tougher meat.
We were talking about this like the last podcast that like if you let a hog or if you let a
pig go feral, it'll turn into a fucking hog.
Like not a warthog.
It won't turn into a few and feral.
What I turn into, I would turn into fucking will feral.
But yeah, so like these warthogs, we they would dig holes underneath our fence.
And yeah, and it was a problem because a warthog, they would dig a hole big enough for a human
to crawl under.
So we're like, this is actually a problem.
So pest control is what we called it when we just had guys go out and shoot the hog.
So like we had that and it was pretty fucking cool.
But yeah, we went out there in our trucks and all that.
And we would just go out there.
Someone shot out.
Someone shot a fucking hog with a 50 cal man.
Did it just explode?
The head was gone.
Like they severed the head off the body.
It was a disgusting brain was not a clean rip.
They just I don't know how they were this accurate because they couldn't hit the broadside
of a barn, but they can hit a moving hog and they just lit into this poor warthog with a
50 caliber machine gun.
I was watching it and I'm like, oh my God, what the fuck?
I'm trying to eat that later.
And it was just obliterated, man.
It was just in pieces.
I'm like, you can't eat that.
At least it died quick.
I think.
I think it's just other guy.
I'm like, oh my God.
But yeah, so like that happened.
But yeah, we killed these hogs and it was pretty fun.
Did like was there ever hog alerts?
We did have a hog that walked like into our main perimeter, like through our Hesco walls,
like the big square blocks full of like whatever the hell they're full of, completely like
bulletproof shit.
And the hog just came through.
They walked through one of our gates and were like, wait a minute, is that a hog?
Did it get through our gate?
Where did it get through?
Where is the what?
How?
It was a three legged hog too.
It was a disabled hog.
It knew it was going to die.
And they went over.
So it was in our perimeter and we're like, there's a warthog in the base.
And they're like, kill it.
And one of our guys fucking missed it.
So that was the thing.
So then they finally dropped it.
And because the thing literally just wandered in there, stood still and was like, I'm ready to die.
It's like, I'm ready.
And it was a visibly old hog too.
Like the tusks.
There's a sacrificial.
Yeah, the tusks on this guy were huge.
I think the hogs got together and they're like, if we sacrifice an elder, maybe they'll stop killing us.
This dude was huge.
He was a big old hog with big old tusks.
Like if you extend your hand, base of your hand to the tip of your longest finger, that's how long his tusk was.
Really?
Big old tusks on this guy.
Three legs and just fucking wandered in.
Did you guys ever figure out where he came from?
They did.
And they're like, oh yeah, somebody just left the gate open.
I'm like, yeah, but he had to have walked by you.
It's not like you can miss it.
He's bigger than a fucking dog.
He's not a dog.
And then so it turns out after we left, I was still in contact with a couple of people that were over there.
There was a jaguar.
We were watching this animal on one of our cameras there.
And we couldn't figure out what it was because it only saw it at night.
Turns out it walked up and one of the towers was looking at it and they were looking at it under night vision.
And they saw it and they were like, that's a fucking jaguar.
Holy fucking shit.
It can climb this tower.
Do we do anything?
Do we shoot it?
Do we scream?
Like we're dying?
What do we do?
Do we call somebody?
Just shoot it probably.
That's a fucking jaguar.
Hey, there's a jaguar.
There's a jaguar here.
What do we do?
Can I kill it before it kills me?
No, no.
So the thing just like you're minding your own business and all that other shit.
But like, it's a fucking jaguar.
It's like 20 feet away from you.
And you have your machine gun with you and you're like, what do I do?
I thought it was a hog.
So that was the other thing.
You weren't allowed to shoot unless first notifying me or whoever was in the radio operator.
Like the main person who warned everyone about what was happening.
Because if you just started sending rounds, people are going to freak out.
Like what's happening? What's happening?
We're going to attack.
So no, you had to like schedule these things.
So it was like, I can't just shoot it.
So if something like that happened where someone needed to shoot or doing like that, we would put out the information.
And if you didn't look at it because you were sleeping or whatever, you were expected to when you wake up to look at the look at your phone or whatever.
Because we did have like some form of service and other shit over there.
So they use like a US tower or did they know like the local towers?
We did have our own US Wi-Fi over there.
That was it was really slow.
But the way we had our communication, you would buy like a local phone and a local SIM card and you would use that phone as a hotspot for your phone.
And that's how we had Wi-Fi.
So if you had Wi-Fi calling, like I had Wi-Fi calling and texting so I could make regular texts back home.
Now for group chats, like if I had a like I have Samsung, my group chats were really sketchy and they wouldn't work right for some reason because Wi-Fi texting is still some issues.
But yeah, it would it would work a little bit, but direct like single conversation messaging worked fine.
Calling worked fine.
Like certain apps like Snapchat and Scram, they worked fine.
Sometimes our shit would slow down.
Sometimes it wouldn't.
It would depend.
But it was a local tower.
It was a local net.
Did they like filter like the shit that you could say?
Like like your messaging?
Did they try to scrub that or anything?
No, you could say whatever the fuck you wanted.
Really?
You could tell them all the capabilities that you have there and if they found out, you'd get in trouble.
If they didn't, then pray you never get found out.
Because I remember like in in World War Two, like I remember like when they would like you'd send your letters home.
They'd like black out.
Yeah, they would they would look at your shit. But here it's kind of hard to do that for one's phone.
You would take everyone's phone.
Yeah, because that's like the thing that I was like, I'm like, how would they do something like that?
Because I don't feel like you'd be able to.
Yeah, the shit they filtered was our mail.
Like they would look at shit going out, especially.
But shit coming in, they were like they would still take like like I said it earlier, they would take your tobacco shit until we said my health choices are not yours to make.
So then we started getting our shit in, but like they would filter the shit coming in.
They were still scanning and they would still tear your shit open.
So like every package I received was torn open and sifted through every shit that went home was also torn open and sifted through.
So you like they checked everything.
They would scan it, x-ray it.
They would MRI it.
It was CT scanning, whatever the fuck they did to it.
They would do everything to it to make sure that everything going home wasn't going to spread disease and it wasn't a bomb basically.
So if I was if I was to try to get Kraft Mac and cheese sent over, you'd get it over there fine.
You would get over fine.
Yes, easily.
I got like Reese's sent to me.
Because I was I was asking if they were going to like rip open the like the box for.
No, no.
It's like a sealed thing like that Canadian.
No, like sealed stuff like that.
They wouldn't rip open.
They did end up slicing one of my bags of popcorn.
I was really upset about that.
Like I had this family size bag of white cheddar, smart food popcorn.
I'm like, oh, that's a good my favorite.
And it was sliced like the long way right down the middle.
They didn't open it up like no, because they cut the box open in this bag of popcorn was on top.
So they stuck there like it had to have been like a three inch or a four inch long knife stab the box, cut the tape and it sliced the popcorn right open.
I'm like, that was my favorite food.
These those guys probably were just like, yeah, I'm 100 percent willing to bet they did do that.
But yeah, they they would definitely like they open it.
Yeah, I was sad, man.
It was a sad time in my deployment.
I was very depressed because my popcorn was open.
I was working.
I worked.
I was begging for like gallon freezer bags, like a ziplock bag so I could put it in those so it didn't go stale.
Nobody had one.
So I literally ate this entire family size bag of popcorn in like a couple hours.
And I'm like, that's not unnatural for me.
But it's like I wanted to save.
I wanted to like eat this while I watched movies in my bed.
My shitty slow quality movies that I was trying to stream on the shitty Somali network.
So they have like they have like like like what food did they have over there?
Was it just like the military food or did you were you able to get like actual like, you know, like Kraft Mac and cheese and shit?
Like, no.
So like we had a full kitchen and we had local we had contractors that would cook for us.
They were very vetted, though, like they were like really checked.
They were backgrounds.
They lived on the they lived not on base with us, but like adjacent to us still within our like secondary compounds.
So we knew that they couldn't get out.
They were very limited as to where they were allowed to go.
Certain parts of the base that weren't allowed to go to like they we knew where they were because everyone knew, hey, if you see this guy walking this way, turn them around.
Don't let him go that way because he's not supposed to be over there.
We weren't allowed to go in most if not all the buildings separate the kitchen because you're a cook.
That's your job.
Go into the kitchen. Cook his food.
Stay in there.
So you didn't have any like US guys do cooking.
That's that's that's what they switched to at the very end.
So at the very end of the deployment, they I think it was like last two months, they brought in the US people and they got rid of all the local contractors because the like we kept getting like fried food, which wasn't a problem per se.
But our diets were not what they should have been like we didn't have a balance.
You couldn't like pick and choose the right foods to have a properly like nutritional diet.
Like if you were trying to like count your calories and the proper amounts of protein, lean protein, carbs, this and third, it was it was very hard to do because like you always had rice.
You always had like almost always noodles.
We had fried shrimp like three times a week.
If not more, we had chicken like like for the last two months, we had chicken every single lunch and dinner and it got old really fast.
And it was the same way they made chicken every single time.
It was the same fucking chicken like they had pasta chicken alfredo a few times.
Mike, please more, please more.
They had cheese tortellini and I loved that shit.
I fucking loved it.
The food quality was better than that was then than what it was in Djibouti from what I heard from people came from Djibouti to visit our base.
And the quantity of food in Djibouti was more like you had more options, but the quality of it was not there.
OK, people would say like we had better food, but a lot limited supply like you had two choices for the main meal, every single food.
So like in the breakfast, you had waffles or pancakes or waffles or French toast or French toast and pancakes or whatever the hell it was.
You had sausage.
You had weird turkey bacon.
I never had the bacon there because I didn't like the look of it.
It's like that's shady.
Yeah, we had we had hash browns, whether it be like the hash brown patty or like the shredded hash browns.
And then we had what you prefer.
I like the shredded stuff, man.
The patties were sometimes overcooked and burnt and crispier than they should have been.
Bringing back to the Mohawk days where we had station breakfast.
Dude, I would get the shredded shit. I'd fucking cook that in the fucking pan.
We make pancakes.
That was so fucking good.
The precooked meals that we had that we bring home and then like the bagged stuff.
Oh my God.
But yeah, like we had good food.
It wasn't bad.
We never had an MRE.
Never ate an MRE while I was there.
So that had to be good.
Yeah, I ate more MREs than when I was in training up for this deployment than I did when I was over there, which was like none while I was over there.
Yeah, because my brother was doing fucking JROTC things.
And he like they did like like a two week boot camp thing.
And all he ate was MREs.
And he's like it fucking sucked.
Yeah.
So he said the pudding was fantastic, though.
Yeah, we had a couple times where we had pudding and it was usually made by our own people like soldiers because they just want you could go into the kitchen, make your own food if you wanted to.
As long as they weren't making a meal at that time, like late at night, because there was a couple times where I did the night shift for the first four and a half months of the deployment.
And it was hell.
We first started off with like weird ass shifts.
Like I did a 2 a.m. to 10 a.m. shift.
It was the dumbest shit I've ever done.
That's fucking weird.
Yeah, it was horrible.
That's a completely different time zone than here, too.
Yeah, we were eight hours ahead, eight hours ahead.
And so we you could go into the kitchen either before or after a meal as long as they weren't prepping a meal or cleaning up for a meal.
And you could make your own food.
There's always like you could always have a peanut butter jelly sandwich.
You could always have a cold cut sandwich.
You could always have cereal as I mean you couldn't always have milk, though.
We ran out of milk a few times.
We also had protein milk at the power core shit.
Always.
Not always.
We that was our protein milk unless you had your own source of protein like powder or shit like that.
Like most people brought like protein powder, had it shipped to them.
I had creatine with me and protein powder.
Could you get milk shipped to you?
It's possible, but it was impractical, impractical because milk will go bad before it makes it to you because mail took from sending from getting from my family, sending a letter or package to me.
It took anywhere from two to five weeks to get to me.
Really?
So sending a gallon of milk would have been bad.
It would literally be either like expired by the time it got to you or curdled or whatever.
It would have been bad.
So powdered milk.
Yeah.
Put water and all that shit.
But so I have lactose intolerance.
Do they have like lactose free milk or was that just kind of like that was kind of like you should have brought lactate.
Yeah.
You should have brought lactate.
That was kind of their mentality of it.
Like we had we had banana milk.
Did like your medics and shit have lactate pills and shit?
Yeah, they had a full supply.
Full like any drug you can think of.
They've got it.
Even shit that you can't get is like a paramedic or a nurse.
They shit like that.
Yeah, because like that was like the that's like the only thing that I'm like, what if somebody's like lactose intolerant and they just fucking like if I take lactate, I'm fine.
Yeah.
But like I'm like, do they have like the lactate pills and shit?
But they did.
They did.
If you were lactose tolerant or if you had lactose sensitivity or whatever it was, they had the stuff for you.
But they also said like, hey, try to get the ship to you because we do have a limited supply and there's a lot of people here.
So we can't really constantly give you this every single day.
But the shit they had, like if they had a certain drug, it would be like triple the strength is something you get from over the counter or from a doctor.
And we had one guy who obviously I'm not going to name names right now, but he had an STD prior to getting on the deployment.
And he came on the deployment and he made it to Africa and he wasn't showing symptoms until he made it to Africa.
The medic gave him a single pill and he was cured.
What level of STD?
He had chlamydia.
And he wasn't showing some. It was a very close friend of mine and he was like, I think I got to go see the medic, man.
Like, it's really I'm not liking this at all.
My dick hurts.
And I'm like, don't tell fucking me that.
I don't care.
I'm not looking at it.
I'm not going to look at it.
He's like, yeah, but you were an EMT.
I'm like, I'm not that close to you.
We're not brothers.
We don't share the same blood.
I'm not just going to go, yeah, that's dick.
Yeah, I know the whole is not gay for the homies, but like, I'm good brother.
So yeah, we've got medics.
So go talk to the medics.
I'd be like, fuck, man.
Yeah. He's like, I don't know the medic.
I'm like, you're going to make good friends with the medic now.
You're going to be really close to the medic now.
Just imagine being like fucking like, like even when we're here, like when somebody's like, yo, my dick hurts.
I'm like, that sucks for you because I'm not looking.
Yeah, it was like that.
I'm like, sucks to suck, bro.
Go talk to a medic.
You know how many times at work, like you were like, I'm having like this burning in my dick and like, can you check it out?
Mike? No, no.
What do you mean?
You're like a medical professional.
Like doctors do that.
I can't diagnose anything.
Yeah, I can't.
I can tell you that.
Yeah, you've got some ooze coming out of your dick there, but I can't tell you like, does this hurt when I flick your ballsack?
Yeah, it's cough for me.
Oh yeah, they feel good.
What kind of providers are you?
Casey, how many dicks do you have to see on a daily?
Oh god, I don't want to think about it.
Yeah, because you're a nurse, so you can't like do like the, I can't do anything.
It's like we have like the thing being like, I can't do anything.
Yeah, yeah.
Too many, bro.
And you're just like, here's a catheter.
Fuck that.
Yeah, so I sent this kid to the, to the medic and he came back.
He's like, you only gave him this pill.
I'm like, what did he say it was?
I forgot the name of it, but I Googled it and I Googled the dosage.
It was like five times the normal amount.
And then I went and talked to the medic because he wanted me to go with him.
So the second time we went up there for like a follow up and he's and the medic's like, I was talking to the medic about it because I'm like, I know the whole story.
And he's like, yeah, that shit that will cure anything you have that might actually cure fucking COVID.
Disclaimer, it won't cure COVID.
But anyway, like this kid, he's got like, he was fucking, like he was showing bad symptoms.
And then this was fine?
Just fine.
The next day.
Really?
Just gone?
The next day, everything was gone.
I'm like, oh my God, give me some of that.
I will, I will fucking dirty bitch.
Probably like a super strong dose of like, one of my son there's fucking doxycycline or something.
I don't even know.
It was like a little red pill.
He showed it to me and he was like.
Definitely.
It was like that big and it was like a little red pill.
I'm like, it was no bigger than like a 200 milligram ibuprofen.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm like.
Dude, the military's got some scary shit.
The shit that they put into us before we go anywhere in this world is insane.
Like you get the peanut butter shot?
In basic.
You did?
Not in like, not since.
How bad did that hurt?
It hurt.
It hurt, bro.
You can't sit right.
Like they put it in the top of your ass.
And like, don't let it rub it in too.
Sometimes they do.
They like rub that, like take your knuckling, like Charlie horse yourself, but not like punch
yourself.
Like rub it in.
Let it spread a little bit.
Because if you don't, it's going to hurt.
And like most people didn't because he looked funny doing that.
But yeah, like they tell you to like lean over the table.
Like put your arm down.
Just gently pull your pants down a little bit, but not like fully.
So like you're just like pulling them like you're showing off a tattoo.
Yeah.
And like a tramp stamp or some shit like that.
And they put it right in the top of your ass cheek.
Like sub cue or like I am sub cue because it's penicillin.
It's just penicillin.
But it's a thick boy.
It's a big ass fucking dose of penicillin though.
I mean, hell yeah.
Like it was like, oh my God.
It just went on like it was a three second dose.
You're like, ah, yeah.
And then when it was like, oh my God, he finishes and I'm like, I feel like the bubble shot that you got on your wrist.
Like it felt like you were going to have that.
And it felt like you had a welt on your ass cheek for like the next hour and a half.
The pain didn't subside after the hour and a half, but the welt did.
So you still couldn't sit like a normal human being.
You couldn't sit up straight and push your ass against the back of this metal chair that you were sitting in.
So it was like if I sat in that chair right there, I'd be in pain.
I had been in pain because your posture is terrible in those.
How long did they last for?
Like five hours, dude.
Some people were faster.
Some people were slower.
I think I was on the slower side and I was like, oh my God, this fucking sucks.
They had to like shoot you up like fucking like 14 needles and shit.
No, I and then like every few years I give you shots.
Like they give you flu shots.
They'll give you tetanus shots.
They'll give you like every kind of shot.
I guarantee you there's some other shit in there.
Yeah.
And then when the when the COVID vaccine became mandatory for the service members, like I went and I got that not through the Army on my own accord because one of my family members ended up canceling me for something because I couldn't make it out of work.
So we knew that the guy who was given on me is like, what do you have any anyone else?
I can it's in the same name and give it to you still.
So I'm like, I'm free.
So I went and I got the dose and then I got the second one.
And then I then I was on the COVID mission in 2021.
Yes, it was the winner.
And I think it was early 2022.
I was in the COVID mission and I was towards the end of it was like a month in Oswego.
Right.
And this the sergeant in charge, he's like, hey, man, you got to get the booster.
Otherwise, you're going to have to get kicked off the mission.
So I'm like, all right, cool.
So I went and I get the booster 10 minutes after I walk out of that place, getting the booster.
He's like, hey, they just changed the rule.
You didn't have to get it.
I'm like, fuck you.
So I walk out and I'm like, I didn't even want this fucking thing.
So yeah, I didn't get the booster.
I mean, I only got the main one because I needed to for work.
Yeah. And then they're like, you could get the booster.
I'm like, I'd rather die.
So like, I mean, I've heard the stories like some people were like, oh, yeah, it makes you stare.
I'm like, I've tested that.
I don't really think I might be sterile.
I might actually start on that.
That's close calls.
So I think I think mine still works.
I don't know.
I don't know about mine.
My dick still works.
My dick works.
What about my little babies are working?
I mean, I think if you get if you got semen still, you're good.
Maybe they're just like floating dead bodies.
Maybe because it doesn't necessarily have fucking sperm in them.
That's true.
I thought like if it was white, it had sperm.
I mean, if you get if you get a vasectomy, you're still going to you still got to come.
Yeah, but you don't shoot out the fucking you do.
Really? Do you?
Yeah, you do.
You still listen to the nurse.
You still come.
The fucking semen comes from the prostate, not the fucking testicles.
Stupid.
No, that's not real.
Really?
That's not real.
No, dude.
I have a vasectomy and I don't come anymore.
Wait a second.
No, I thought like the reason why you're the sperm cells come from the testicles, but the
actual seminal fluid comes from the prostate.
That's what I was.
That's what I was like.
That's what I was trying to get to.
I'm like, I thought like the sperm came.
It doesn't look any different.
Really?
Yeah.
No shit.
They just kind of like mixed together like so like if I get a vasectomy, I can just like
common on bitches still.
Yeah, you can come in them and it won't get them.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm like, that's why people get the sex.
Because I was like, I was like, because like there's like the people that are like, yeah,
like he keep on trying these.
It's like, yeah, I've had a vasectomy the whole time.
I'm like, I was like, how the fuck did that work?
And I thought you're just shooting blanks at that point.
Sometimes it doesn't work to like, it's blanks because there's no sperm in it.
Yeah.
You just, you cut off their access part.
They're just, they're just sitting there at the exit door like I'm ready and they're never
leaving.
Hurry up and wait, kids.
You're not getting out.
I'm like, oh, it's so mean.
Well, here we are just killing these kids.
You know, oh my God, listen, they got it.
They got millions of possible children and every 12 year old boy goes to listen.
I tried to stop jerking off and that's how that worked out.
Maybe so angry.
Would you last like 10 minutes?
No, I lasted a good week and a half.
Honestly, when I was in basic training, like I don't know what was shot they gave us, but
you guys are so good.
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
They sup they suppressed your what is it libido? Yeah?
They like suppressed it until like the last like through two or three weeks
I was I think was like two weeks or we can probably fucking into so my cousin my cousin is a
I think he's a first sergeant or was a first sergeant and he was a drill sergeant for a little bit
mmm, and
He was like you know what we actually do because like I've heard a whole bunch of people say that he just goes the
The the one like the drinks that they give you is they put saltpeter in it because it lowers your sex drive
Mm-hmm. Yeah, bro
Like you're fucking owned by the military if you're a fucking soldier like your body. Yeah, I have to answer every
Call they send hey if they tell me you have to do something. I'm like
When who it how long take
So are you like standby? I'm always on standby
So like if we ended up going to fucking war with Russia and China
I so technically right now
I'm on a so they changed it after like Iraq and Afghanistan like in the surge of Iraq people would deploy for 15 months get two
Weeks home go right back for another 15. It was stupid horrible. That's what people that's why so many of the Iraq threats are fucked up
Like right now. It's like it's like a cutoff at night
You can extend like I was gonna extend for another nine
but they didn't have any job positions for me of my specific job and
I also have a wedding to go to
Mmm to officiate actually. Oh so are you ordained? No, I have to do that still
Apparently it's really easy. You can just do it online. Yeah, you can do it online
I didn't know that my my girl's dad does that like he's he's ordained. Yes, I know that
Yeah, do it you can you know officiate my wedding if I ever get married
But yeah, so I have to do that
But yeah
So I was gonna extend and it would have been a guaranteed you can't like she pick and choose how long you and extend for
Unless it's like starting to think it's circumstance is like I won't like you're very big on a certain system
But I wasn't in that position so it would have been another nine straight months in that continent for me
I wouldn't necessarily been the same spot. I may have been moved to a different country in that Africa
We had three countries that we worked out of
But I was Somalia. I only stayed in Somalia
So was there multiple bases in Somalia or just the one? Yes. I can't say how many okay
but
Yeah, we had your booty which is fucking public knowledge
We shared a split it actually cool stuff with the French Foreign Legion
And really because they have a they have one of their bases up there that you can YouTube their shit like they're fucking no joke, bro
Like they you can disappear by doing the French Foreign Legion like they will give you a
Legal new identity new identity clean slate really?
Yeah, the catches you have to serve with far for five years, and you will see fucking come at like they do some shit all over
The world so like if you're like a criminal, and you just go into that and you want to disappear join the French Foreign Legion
I don't know. I think there's gonna be like some catches there like if you are like
like mass murder
Like we got to talk about this well you listen you could still do it like how many people did you actually?
Fuck up five all right
You I don't know I'm fairly certain
It's you can still be like extradited and all that shit
But I don't know how the French Foreign Legion is fully connected to the French
Because it used to be only foreigners can join it because it used to be like a mercenary group not really a mercenary
But like you think of it that way because it's not like blackwater though
Yeah, you would only only foreigners were allowed to join now the French are actually allowed to join weird
And you had to speak French you if you didn't know it when you join yes
Fluent in French I'm not fluent yeah, and they would teach it to you
They would put you in a French course if you weren't fluent in it
And if you didn't learn it they would beat it into you like actually beach the shit out of you like there was one YouTube
Video I watched just for many many years ago
That's awful because horrible French so it's like it's like I like the French Legion is the French Foreign Legion like
Government ran or is it like I?
Know Ion I think they're they have ties to the French
but like
They kind of just like go where the French tell them they work on behalf of the French
And it's like they kid they have they I guess you can say they have I don't think they can actually say they have plausible
Deniability because it's called the French
Legion but like do they like wear like French flags I believe so because I was like guys like
I don't know if they'd have to but I think so, but I don't know you can go they're all tricked out in like the
best gear to
But yeah, you guys have to wear American flags on you like we always say if you don't have an American flag on your right shoulder
You're fucking wrong because that's part of your uniform and someone will
Destroy you for that
Is it a war crime not to wear one no it's not a war crime but it's something you will get smoked for
Like you some someone's gonna come up to you and put you in push-ups for like an hour and a half and flutter kicks
And any kind of exercise you can think of that you will hate how many count push-up is oh fuck that you're an eight count
Yeah, then we can do that for like a hundred counts of that. Oh my god. I've done that before my hated life
How many retards were you actually like deployed with that were like actual like fucking idiots?
Yeah, good hands a good handful good handful like fuck-ups that would constantly get like fuck now reamed out mass
Punishment is something that is usually not a thing
in the
Army in base of training yeah math punishment in actual army usually it's an individual basis of punishment
with the exception sometimes of
Like if this kid is fucking up something that can be corrected by his people like oh
I forgot this thing that everyone else has and we were all in the same room
And they could have reminded me to get it, but I shouldn't be reminded
But it's the tenth time that I've done this so the his buddies should be like hey
Do you have this this time fucking idiot fucking have it?
And then it's like why aren't you correcting your battle buddy? Hmm fix them fix him all right
Make sure you hit us. He has this tomorrow. Okay cool
I need to smoke all the it'd be a less of a
Issue if it's a mass thing then the individual would get really really fucked up
like I used to be a bit of an asshole in my my military youth, but
now I'm an adult because I
I'm a leader now
I have to be the adult and I have to do the the punishment to people so it's like fuck now
I have to grow up a little bit how many people did you actually like have to punish so far?
I haven't had to do it once yet really I haven't had to do it once because I'm the the cool NCO
I'm the cool sergeant, but at the same time
It's like I also have to step like if I meet someone for the first time like if I have a new soldier for the first
Time hey asshole. I have to be a little harder with them like I don't have to be a straight-up dick like hey fuckface
This is what you're gonna. Do this is how fast you're gonna get it done, and if you don't we're gonna have some fucking problems
It's more like hey, man
I'm gonna introduce myself you're gonna introduce yourself. Tell me a little about yourself. Tell me what you do at home
How'd your family life this 7th or let me get your actual information to keep it down in my book my leaders book and all
Shit, so I can contact you in all the shit. I'm gonna edge with group chat
Like straightforward shit like that and then we're doing like shit like on drill or on like 80 or we're doing a month long
Train up or shit like that. I will have to be like hey, man
This is what you're gonna do and I'm telling you to do it
It's not a matter of questioning and I've I only had one soldier on the deployment
And we were the same rank for most of the deployment until we both got promoted so we're both sergeants
However, I outrank him due to time
So he was under me
Positionally so it was like that and then
But it was more of like a brotherly thing because after once you do we need to play with people
Rank is still there, but it's more of like a hey
I would die for you and you'd die for me and I know you're cool
And I know if you're smart enough
You know when you can be cool this and there's times when you can be cool with someone and when you all seem to break
Out the this is a I'm your boss or I'm your leader and you're my soldier
You need to know that line to dance that line like I've danced
Fucking been leaning over the edge of my entire career with all of my NCOs
Like I will burrow out with them all the time drop the rank like you'll call you're supposed to call every NCO like
By the rank like hey sergeant or like sergeant through staff and sergeant all the way to start sergeant first class
Like that's three ranks sergeant staff sergeant sergeant first class you call them sergeant and then there's first sergeant
There's master sergeant base like you call first our first aren't you call master master or I'll call him like master
No, I won't I said that one time and I was like
That feels weird
I've called them sergeant and a couple of them have corrected me and a couple of them like ask along with shit
Master sergeants along a lot of syllables to say master sergeant master sergeant
No, so it's like
Yeah, you call them by the rank is the respect they've earned through their time and through their work
Some people don't earn it through time anymore
They're just getting handed to them because if you do the right paperwork and you're not a piece of shit
You know to fuck up you're gonna get promoted really fast depending on what job you're in like
Infantry you're gonna be spending a lot of time working up that way in my job as an FO
You can actually make sergeant very very fast if you do the paperwork and you just do the time
Which is very very short you can go make sergeant like you're like two years really it's a stupid fast
whereas infantry it takes you like a whole contract to it like
Anywhere from like four to six years no shit
Yeah, unless you're like a stud and you're recognized and you stick out then people are gonna
They're gonna they're gonna say pap promote ahead of peers
Even if someone was better like they were this good and then this guy comes out of base training shit hot
He's fucking great, and he's all the way up here like all right
But in this guy this guy's doing like above average, but this guy is doing like way above average
So like yeah, there's there's scenarios, but like there's that line with with the soldiers that I have like I'm I don't have to go back
Until like October I think where I will meet my new set of soldiers that I have I've never met these soldiers yet
We're also doing a new organization at the end of this month their end of August to find out a new lineup of soldiers
So I don't even know who the hell I'm gonna have you I don't know their names
I might have people I know and that'll make my life easier. I might have completely new soldiers. I don't know
So when I meet them it's gonna be like I'm gonna establish who I am. This is my rank
This is my knowledge level if you have questions come to me if I don't have the answer
I'll go to someone else and I'll get you the answer as fast as I humanly possibly can
So are you in the giant the same rank now? Oh?
Our tall friend. Oh
Santa yeah, yeah, I am
Sanders is the same rank as you now. Well. He's no longer in but when he when he was
I'm the same rank cuz that's fucking
when I met him he was a sergeant and then when he left he was a sergeant and
Well, he was a he was sleepy sergeant. We call him sleepy sergeant because he like chills fuck
Oh, yeah
He was very chill and he hated smoking people because he was like this is so stupid
Cuz he did a lot of time active duty as well. Mm-hmm. So when I met him he was like sup fucker
He was a first person I ever met at my at my unit when I got there
We walked through the front door and he answered the door and he's like stop
Mike I went to parade rest
Hey, hey, sorry, I'm looking for the the foes and he's like
He was an fo and he was like, yeah, follow me there fucker
and I'm like
Okay, so I followed him to where we hung out and he introduced me to everybody
He was the first person ever met and so fucking weird that he ended up working with us later
Yeah, when I found him he had left the army before he started with mohawk
Yeah, and when he I've actually put him on the mohawk and when he joined the mohawk
I was like I outrank you here. I don't rank you here
And he found you like we would joke about it when we worked together, which is very rarely
But yeah, he was a lot of fine up training him for a little bit for a for like a way
I had to be so weird week. I was training him and it was a lot of fun
It's a lot of fun because it was always fun to like put him in like ambulance 9 or 7
Oh any one of the Chevy's bro, like putting him in those like you can't fit
You can't fit in any because he can't even fit in the front seat
He has to sit in the back anywhere he goes and they're like we can only let him sit in the Mercedes
We can't put him he only fits in Mercedes. He only fits in Mercedes or old 41 old 41
Yeah, I forgot that had some space dude. He actually works at my job now Sanders. Yeah
Really? Yeah, I mean he never comes into work, but he does work at the same place that I work sometimes
He's on this he's on the roster. Yeah, I don't think he's picked up a shift in like six months
I mean, I thought you had to do like one shift a month to keep your positioning per diem
You can do it like I think it's once every six months. Oh, so he's due. Yeah
Oh
Yeah, but I think he's a medic now too good for him. Yeah good for him
But yeah, I mean I'm the same right now. So like when I meet my new soldiers, I'm gonna establish like hey, I'm sergeant Farley
You I am sergeant Farley. I'm not Dan Farley. So I have sergeant you have I don't have to I'm not gonna say like an ass
Like hey, I'm sergeant Farley. This is what I do is how long I've been in
There's my knowledge level if you have a question to ask if I don't know the answer I'll find out
So yeah work through your chain of command. Don't jump over me
If you jump over me, we're gonna have problems if you do stupid shit
We're gonna have problems if you're an asshole outside of work outside of the military and it affects your military life
We're gonna have problems. Like if you get arrested
I'm gonna give you shit for it because it's going to affect your military career and it's gonna affect me as well because it's like
Oh, that's your soldier. Why is he fucked up? Why are you an idiot? That's how the idea let these idiots do that
Yeah, it's like let's say let's say Casey here is my soldier and he gets arrested for like a DWI or something like that
And you're my leader
You're gonna come to me and I like what the fuck why is your guy fucked up?
Why is he getting arrested for this and I'm like
Fuck man. I don't I don't know but I'm gonna find out and I might take care of it
That's the only answer you can give and it's still the wrong answer. Yeah, there's no right answers. No right answer
It's like that's the wrong answer. You should have taken care of it before it happened. Like I'm sorry
I don't have fucking foresight like he's an idiot. What do you want me to do?
We've actually had a few idiots in my time where we just cuz I'm you can't fix
Just that's do they're just that state. We had one guy who every single time we went to drill
He would brain dump everything he learned from the last drill
So we had to teach him the basic skills of being an FO and be like dude
What the fuck we taught you this this exact shit this exact page the date is on it
This is what we taught you last month and he's like
Like you're supposed to use some of your at home alone time to not just jerk off
But look at your fucking reading material and figure out how to do your fucking job
Like I I learned how to do my job exceptionally well because I studied my shit and I practiced it
Like I would run through this shit on my own like my father
He was an old mortar man
So he was the fucking perfect person to do some shit with because he knew what I was talking about
Yeah, dude. I had my cousin
My my cousin who was a drill sergeant
He said that there is a group his like they kept on giving him the most retarded people
That they can because he was like known to like fix retards
Yep, so they kept on sending more and more retards to him after well
Like it's frustrating
Yeah
And he's just like and like the one guy just kept showing up late and like I could show up late and out of uniform
Yeah, and he just goes hey asshole and the guy's like what he just goes get the mop
He's like, okay and mop the dirt road. He said start the gate and then go back
I want to see the pavement that was never there
I want to I want it looking like there's pavement
I mopped the dirt road
When will I stop he goes I'll tell you yeah, so I'm bad. Sometimes you forget about those people
Have you ever mopped rain off of a driveway
I've pushed it with like fucking push thing never vacuum a sidewalk before that's really
Paint all the little decorating stones that are like as big like a pebble you ever paint those
And there's like thousands of them you ever paint them for that's really funny
Individually with a little tiny brush not an actual paintbrush like a little like really
Like a detail print brush you ever paint around what did you do? I didn't do anything. I was a good little boy
It was someone who I didn't even fucking know yet
Who decided to show up late for like the umpteenth time in a row and it was like
And this is like my my third or fourth drill in I'm like
Fucking pain these rocks
all day
I think we spent
Probably close to four or five hours painting these rocks, you know, some artists out there would be like I like this. Yes
Yes
They would love it like the attention to detail they made like make artwork on them. Yeah, I'm gonna paint here
And then just imagine like fucking be this like are you having fun? Yeah
Yeah, if you act like you're having fun during punishment, it's even worse. It gets even worse. It's so much worse
but then they're like have a positive attitude and you want to have a problem and I'm like
It's kind of hard to have a passive attitude right now
I fucking hate this fuck it sucks. Fuck sucks, dude
I've had so many moments in my time where it's like this fucking sucks
Like that your mental sanity goes down the shitter in the military same with the MS
Like my my mental sanity is drained from not only being in the army for seven years
But for being an EMS for like the three that I was there. Yeah, that's fun
Yeah, I remember the fucking shit that me and you would get into my god. Those are so fucking fun
Oh my god, and then like yeah
I've seen it early like I aged on this to one like every whether you have no matter how much stress you have on
Deployment you will age. Yeah, I mean unless people unless you live like a cushy fucking deployment like you know, we could wait
I'm sorry if anyone listen to quit, but you didn't have a real deployment
I mean, I didn't really have much of one either, but I still did shit
I saw Jaguars. Yeah, I saw Jaguar
What did you do? You saw dirt?
but yeah, like
Especially the guys in Iraq and Afghanistan like 20 year old 18 to 21 was like the prime age group
Those kids would go and they would come back and they can't relate to their own age group anymore
They would be having full-blown conversations like 50 year old men six year old men who were like in Vietnam
Mm-hmm, and they were the people they could talk to because they could relate to them
Yeah, and you were you grow up like going on a deployment especially those guys because I was watching a youtuber
play the the six days and fluency game and
It they were talking about it because they're both in
The one guy was in Iraq during the surgeon. I was in Afghanistan in the late 2000s
And it was like like if you went to Iraq Afghanistan and you saw some shit you got into firefights
Like you became an adult. That's when you became a man. Oh, yeah, and
You can no longer talk to people your age
No, because they don't understand you say things like the way you talk how you look how you sound it's different
You're not the same anymore. Like I don't have that level of problem
I just aged physically because some my own fucking people stressed me out
Stressed him. I wasn't even stressed about the fucking outside world outside of our base
I was stressed about the people inside my base just giving me shit and I'm like
Could you not make this deployment more stressed than it needs to be for me?
And I'm like and I came back and my father's like dude your eyes your fucking you've got like crows feet
Yeah, and you've got like these lines on your eyes. You fucking aged man. You look like an adult now. Yeah
Congratulations, like people would look at me like you look like you're 12 or 18. I'm like, oh cool
I can pass for a kid and then now it's like
Well, I look like you're in your mid 20s. That's that's fuck man. What are you like 24 25 25? Yeah
So five. Yeah
All right. Let's take a break on the entire podcast. We'll be back. I got really gonna pee
Alex Jones did nothing wrong. Alex Jones is the correct thing. He did nothing wrong
He's never said anything wrong
Welcome back to Untitled Podcast
Hello
What were we talking about? Oh yeah, I almost forgot. We wanted to talk about the Barbie movie
And also what flavor our Untitled Podcast gamers would be if we got sponsors
They're fucking cum flavored
They already have titty milk flavor. You know a lot about that don't you?
Yeah, they have a milk. They have a flavor called titty milk
Do they really? Yeah, I'm gonna buy it. It's uh, it's like blue raspberry with like a creamy undertone. It's weird
I don't really think that's what titty milk tastes like. No, I've tasted it before it's not. Yeah, it's not
I had a girl that was lactating like
She didn't tell me and I wasn't expecting it. It's not a good flavor. No, it's like bitter. It's gross
It depends on the woman actually. Okay, because I had one because it um
It actually the flavor is different because each child
The like this is actually like a really crazy like thing and it's like almost like it's like holy shit
That's crazy. But like each woman when they're nursing like their body changes their milk content for that child
like the the saliva from the child that makes them
Makes them produce a different type of milk and like different like minerals and stuff in it
Yeah for the specific child. How many hours did you spend researching this?
I
I'm kind of concerned now
I was just I was just researching it. You know too much about titty milk
No, because my girl only wants to breastfeed. She doesn't want to like I mean that's healthy do like formula or anything
And I'm like I can't breastfeed the formula healthier than natural titty milk now or I think I think it's the same now
Okay, but I think it's come as far in general. I think nursing is better
Were you a synthetic baby or you were a baby?
I think I was natural. I was a natural baby.
fully synthetic grow
fully synth
Because I was lactose intolerant so I couldn't have that
How did they know that that early?
Because they found your fucking brains out. No they they found out because I would just start crying
Whenever like I would have like any sort of milk or anything
So like I would be like I would like do that and I'd like be like
Inconsolable my parents were like taking me to doctors and shit. Yeah, and they tested me for lactose intolerance
Okay, and then they're like yeah, so yeah, I got to I had to use non-dairy
formula shit
Yeah, I'm fairly certain that we never had formula in my family. We were always natural and then
Like my mom babysits kids. So like it's obviously formula. Yeah
Obviously
Yeah, me and my brother were both formula
But my girl she's like I really want to do nursing and like I can't help you with that. Yeah
I can't I mean that just goes to show you can be a synthetic baby like you or
You can be a natural baby like me and we're both still fucked up. We're all still fucked up
That is not brother
How was the bar? I don't have a good relationship or a fantastic relationship with my mom all the time
But I apparently if you if you nurse your kid, they have a better relationship with you
I also think there's like something to do with how you raise your kid like you could nurse your kid
No, like that's that's like a thing. But like in like general if a if a mother nurses a child
No it is because it's like yes. Yeah, like there's a there's a different bond
I feel like there's more of a connection with them
Yeah, mostly emotional like things that you get used to are formed in early childhood
Yeah, so there's always that like yeah
Oh, no, I it wasn't that I was my mom wasn't able to nurse because she was like 18 when she had me
And like wasn't fully developed
Yeah, I guess so I was like like it was painful for her to do it
So I wasn't able I didn't do that my brother on the other hand my mom at least you turned out well
I mean I turned out better than some people
I
Mean kind of still kind of still am yeah, hey, artificial
Hey, my mom took Tylenol when she when I was in utero, so I have autism. Yeah
That's like an actual thing. Did you see the article that if you're if you're if your mom took Tylenol
When you were in the womb you had you have a higher chance of autism. That's fucking stupid
All right. I've taken so much Tylenol in my life that my all of my kids are about to be fucking
Your mother didn't take Tylenol I hate that shit
It's from all the years of you doing I like that
So tell us about the Barbie movie, oh my god, so did nothing wrong Ken did nothing wrong
I am enough. I am enough. Yeah, so Barbie movie is actually a
A great documentary
Why when men control things it's much better
Men are just crying about it. Fuck sometimes
I searched Barbie movie and there's like glitter all over my screen. Mmm. Yeah
So it starts off with Barbie land and like all the Barbies like women are rolling everything
Like stop it. They want to know how narcissistic that is to name the land after your fucking name. Yeah
Oh, I don't need a schizophrenic movie
No, I'm just saying I'm just gonna end up being a schizophrenic movie review of it
But I'm gonna end up being a schizophrenic movie review of it
But I'm just saying I'm just gonna end up being a schizophrenic movie review of it. But
So it starts off with like Barbie land and like Barbie and like the other Barbies like there's president Barbie fucking everyone's named Barbie
This is like literally a schizophrenic movie. I mean I might watch it. So I don't know want to know the whole fucking plot
Oh, no, they took the movie split and just took all the bodies out of the one person and named them all the same thing
That was basically the whole movie
Yeah, and then there's a whole bunch of Ken's yeah, there's there's there's Ryan Gosling the literally me Ken. Yep
There is the shame. There's a Shang Chi Ken. Yes, Asian Ken
Psychedelic it's my god. I like real fucking if you watch that shit tripping you would be good. Yeah
Because they go to the real world, you know
like Barbie and Ken go to the real world because she's having like
You know like thoughts of death and shit because you know depression and Barbies is not a thing pressure
So they go to the real world and Barbie and Ken and Barbies like the world's scary and Ken's like
The real world's about horses and men and men and you see three are any
And he's just like the patriarchy is great. Yes
So much work
I figured out it wasn't about horses. I just didn't want to do it
That's like me, but I wasn't about horses like Barbie played by
Yeah
Margot Robbie. Yeah, she's so fucking they and they have like a fourth wall break in it where they're like Margot Robbie's not
If you want to say your character's ugly or something
Like I don't feel pretty anymore look up the picture from her in Wolf and Wall Street naked
And you'll be like, oh my god, uh
Look that shit up. Yeah. Yeah flood your fucking search history with I don't think Google shows nudes
Yeah, I use Google all the time
I let me turn on incognito mode really quick. I don't even do incognito mode. I don't either anymore
What the fuck was her name? Oh, I'm in the neck
What's her name Margot Robbie? I?
Spelled Marat go
I'm gonna do Margot Robbie nude. I'm gonna hit this red line. Oh
Man, I'm not kiss who fucking shook that shit up. Oh birds
The fuck did you do Tyler? Did you have water this no?
That like instantly burned my phone look at this shit
Those are fakes
No, those are the real ones. That's that's from her and in the wolf of Wall Street. Oh, that's so much stronger
What the fuck happened? Oh
Oh, especially with the fucking stockings. Oh my god. You know what it is what I shook it
You fucking retard idiot dude smell this
Why I already I should get before I hit it
I'm not hitting that again. I'm gonna fucking die
And fucking wolf of Wall Street, and I'm just like oh my god. I haven't seen that movie all the way through it's solid
I fucking love that movie. I still haven't seen all the way through. I think it's mostly clips of it
It's so like you know like isn't it based off a true story. Yeah, dude fucking insane is he now he's dead
No, he's alive. We did copious amounts of cocaine in the 80s, but he's alive brother
Let me just take some tips on life from him
I'm gonna repeat history
The sounds the sounds you just made
The sounds you just made have you ever seen that that the
News cast where the woman was stepping on the grapes in the bucket and she falls off
That was really the sound that you just made there's a fucking I
Talk about newscast. There's so fucking funny things in it fucking in
I saw one when the guy is just like and the guy he literally moaned this loud. Oh
Oh
But still my favorite one is they're interviewing like an elderly couple about like a vicious dog and they're like
The guy he says like and the dogs are going
All right, I think I have it here we go
What is that this was
Yeah, yeah, it's from 12 years ago
Yeah
The quality of its trash to it like they filmed on a fucking Nokia with a first camera ever made
Oh, yeah, everything back then was fucking
Margot Robbie makes me want to rip her in half
With my cock
Alright, so you know how you guys you guys were talking or
Barbie movie?
No, we were talking about like the that picture I showed you last week. Yeah, the fucking chick with the dick
Yeah, you couldn't tell me that
That picture I showed you last week. Yeah, the fucking chick with the dick. Yeah, you couldn't tell if it was a fucking girl
You're training tell
No, they couldn't oh, yeah, I could tell Dan
I could tell other Dan not this Dan
So I will show you a picture and you tell me if it's a oh you found it
Found what?
No, no, no, no, no, I got so I got some you gotta tell me if this is a male or female
It's a fucking girl or tranny. All right, I'm pretty good at this. I'm pretty good at this
You can tell the bone structure pretty good at this. Yeah
Oh, yeah, Dan could probably pretty hot girls if we tried I think so
No, I'm a sexy
Right, we get the price of
Oh, yeah, first one girl or training. All right
Steady you fucking
Fucking puck into the rear
That's a training. Let me see it. I were say look at the look at the jawline. That's either a well-built woman or a dude
It's close but the filter on it is you know, I'm gonna go the the the other version
I think that's a woman. You think it's a woman. Oh, it's a woman
Correct answer is a woman
Fucking good
Yeah, absolutely
Good job, even if she had a dick
All right, next one girl or training that's training
Without I don't even look for more than two seconds
Yeah, I think that's a tranny. Oh, they say that's a tranny. That's a that's right
Two to one Tyler
Hmm, let's see. How about this one
This is gonna get this cancer this one's actually tough wait a minute fucking the anger fall
You think this is gonna be the thing that actually gets us canceled finally, yeah
Yeah, that's a girl that's actually a girl yeah, look at the throat
Throat's covered I think I don't remember the picture anymore. I saw it two seconds. I think that's a girl. Yeah
They say it's girl
I think we'd be in trouble
Oh, man guys. Oh, I think we'd be in trouble. Oh
girl or training
You sure let me see
Where do you find that's a casey that's a hot reddit and fortune I will fucking if that's a guy I
That's a girl I'm looking at the fingers
Yeah, look at the hand structure the hand structure and the the cheek structure
The cheek structure is feminine, but the hand is throwing me off. I'm not a long finger. I'll say it's a lady
If that's a dude, that's one of the best transformations I've ever seen all right, they say it's a girl
I like a hand is the hand through me. Oh, yeah, no the hands the way the wrist was yeah, and then the cheeks, too
All right, how about this one girl or tranny let me see oh?
My god that fucking jaw, bro
I'm gonna go with a girl. I'm gonna go with a girl on this one
Chat what do you think I'm gonna post it in the live feed
Let me see I gotta zoom in on that crotch area. I think that's a lady. Yeah, it's a lady
I think it's just a lady with a lot of work done. Yeah, that jaw though all right. They say it's a lady
It's either a Russian female. That's right. Yeah, that's a Russian
Are you guys keeping score? It's a it's we're tied four to three no
I thought we're tied because I got one wrong so we both got it wrong all right. Yeah, four to three you yeah
All right next one girl or training the fucking she's covered it. They have covered their face
Yeah, it's a little hard this one's hard
Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute
It looks like they're wearing a mask though a lot of training is a
Fingers
That's a dude
Oh, that's absolutely a guy
100% a guy got a gas mask that is 100% fucking that is a guy
The hair line it also those tits were plastic. Yeah, that's a yeah
Yeah, that's a big hair looks like it was like a wig. Yeah, they got a nice cleavage. They say it's a guy. That's correct
Oh, yeah
five five four
This one all right, let me see there's no face
They're doing well at hiding though
It's like no free okay, that's the body you know so tell about it
There's no feet in this one. There's a hand
You'll see it
The only you have to go over is the hands right here, so
This one's tough that one threw me off man
Neck is visible, but it's got a choke one that we both got wrong
Yeah, that one that one threw me for this one the next visible, but they've got a choker on so you can't see any visible
Like one thing I'm gonna go with
Female all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna throw one here
One's tough, but I'm probably wrong, but I'm gonna guess female
Just a hit formation on that. Oh God. It's tall
Oh because I've seen some weirdly shaped females, but that's that's borderline
It does but the hand is a little bit jaw the little bit I can see of a jaw
I think that the neck too is just a little bit. I think that's a guy
I think that's a guy about to be there down a point or a guy
I saw a little bit of a jaw and I'm like I didn't look enough at the jaw six four
Six to four where are you finding these pictures for Chan the fourth channel?
Let me see because sometimes I forget you know what these actually are how do you know the
Honey, how do you know okay? This is good one. What's this one?
Girl or training that's
The controller is well-placed, but the shape of the hips no what I feel like they had their tits removed
the zipper tits
Yeah, they're not quite
It's like a trainee, but it's not a girl training. It's like a guy. It's hard right. It's like a
It's the other way around
It's confusing he says training
I think I see some balls there. I couldn't tell like there's no obvious
Distinguishing factor because the controller is so well placed
Also look at the definition in the arm. I know I and the the problems with the side there you say tranny you will say tranny
Yeah, all right
That was that
Sucks for her that's the flat is that's a man's chest. Yeah
Not even pecs just like flat. It's just like
It's cut out. That's why I thought it was a
Trans man next one for you
Do you think that girl's hot with the small tips the one that we just saw yeah, no I would be like
This oh the hands though
Woman
Oh, he says woman. I'm saying woman on this one
I'm saying woman because of a very distinct
feature that I will feel after
Yeah, I think that's a woman just because of the way the pits are and not even the tits
Fucking the way that the yes
I think they say they say it's a woman. They're correct the belly button. Yeah, really
I I could see some like there's a shape that they have that men don't
Because like I see like the
V2 but because like yeah, the guy's visa's like thick. Yeah. It's all right. Last one. What's the score?
Seven to five seven to five
You all have a chance, but
This one's worth ten points
This one's worth one hundred thousand
100,000 points I trade those points in for something
He's thinking to girl
Some stuff dance hook girl I say girl
I think it's not a girl
Don't think it's an ugly girl. Oh
wrong, ah, I was iffy because the throat
Oh Tyler wins seven to five
Tyler doesn't win I forfeit what I lose did I miss two on that?
There's ten questions
So unless we fucked up the score we might have fucked up the score
Make a sub to the
Fuck off the score make a subreddit listeners and tell us
You could play along too at home. Yeah emails your trap photos
Untitled podcast 73 at gmail.com. Yeah
Don't do that only legal age people this for the love of god
For the love of christ. Oh my god, that was brutal
Oh, show fucking that one though that that one threw me off that that really did was shocking
That one was shocking. I mean it makes sense to guys questioning your sexuality
No, i'm just saying like the the tit angle was weird. Yeah, so that probably could have gave it gave it away, but yeah
Yeah, also the jawline was pretty thick but i've seen some ladies. Yeah, but that russian chick
Yeah, that one was like this hadn't worked that was more mainly. Yeah, that might have been plastic surgery. Yeah, it's plastic surgery face stretching. Yeah
Yeah
Wow, I don't know. It was sketching
Sketching
Sketch. Yeah, that was fucked up. This is why I require people to tell me show me your medical history. Show me your penis
Hey nice cock bro, nice cock bro. Beepus. Beepus. Nice cock bro. Sending me your dick pics. Mm. Yeah, let's put him in the group chat
Fucking sending it to me. My name's not Taylor. It's Tyler Beepus
So
Did you hear about um
Trump what about right?
New allegations against trump they keep on doing
Document
Yeah, all these other fucking old pieces of shit like senators are just like
Blanking out like you see the new one. Mitch. We've got new charges fucking brain fart. Yeah
He's got new charges bro classified documents found in mara logo. Oh no
Hunter biden fucking administration had like hundreds of documents found in multiple locations. What's happening?
It's also strange that I saw an article about a random person on
Barack Obama's property who I think was his chef was found dead in his pond
Spicy. Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, I love all these like classified document problems with trump
But when the hunter biden people do now he was he was trying to get his war thunder account
I need to prove a point. I need to prove a point. I must point I am the best at this game
My guns are bigger than everyone else's my shells are the best
I have the best kill if Donald trump played war thunder
He would do something like that. He would have the entire server banned if he one lost the game
And two was on top of the leaderboard. Yeah, he'd be like this is obviously bad. This is uh rigged. I
Am spiced, you know, these people they just they just they're just worthless. They're just worthless trump requested deletion of security footage
At mara logo after it was subpoenaed
He's hiding evidence
Well, I mean the evidence of like the hunter biden people like the amount of classified documents they've found
in their states just on the fucking floor out in the open like
hundreds if not thousands of files like you could fact check me on this one, but like
There's more from them than trump could do in a lifetime
and that's not because like
I support the dude or night decks. I didn't actually fucking vote in that election
I was in basic training. They didn't let us vote. They were supposed to
We were supposed to like oh, we'll get the paperwork square and then they're like, oh, it's too late. Sorry
We fucked up we forgot
And like oh, thanks. I don't get to vote. Fuck you then
So fucking soldiers vote they were supposed to but they fucked up and they didn't so yeah
Like a couple thousand soldiers didn't get to vote
Um, and you were one of them. I was one of them. It was my first ever time to vote too
Because I had just turned 18 a few months ago
but yeah, so
the amount of shit that
The current administration has done versus what trump did is unbelievable
It's unbelievable, but nobody wants to talk about that because they don't want to have that conversation
Would you fuck a bald chick?
I fucked a chick with a shaved head before
That works. I love that shit
Buzz cut. Yeah, that's cool. I thought she was a dyke, but apparently she wasn't
That that was my fucking type bro
It was insane like she was she wasn't goth though
She was just short hair. She liked the style. I'm like I like the style short hair. She was
Oh, absolutely. Fuck. I just stood there dude short hair chicks are either dykes or they're the best
Oh my god, I uh, I dated a girl at cancer
And she was bald
Bro those are the best because you don't have to pull out
Did you date her or were you like her last like this is what I want before death
Bro knock her up so you get a double kill
She couldn't get pregnant because of the chemo
Oh god
Yeah I did
I found her on Tinder and she's like you're like one of the only guys who actually swiped right on me
I'm like I still think you're attractive and she's like I have cancer
I'm like
Let's fuck before you die
I'm like I mean I'm still down
Let's go like we ain't gonna be serious but we're just gonna be fucking cause you're gonna die
Like we're both aware that you're not making it
Yeah
So you can't really expect a relationship
Although I didn't check in on her afterwards
She might still be alive
She might have pulled through
But I hope she did
If you're out there listening
I'm shocked and good for you
If you're out there listening Kim
Good good good for you
Power to you
Do I have to bleep that?
The name probably
Nah I mean I didn't say her last name
That's also a super common name
What is Justin name
It was Slim Shady's wife actually
Don't leave on fucking Belgium those Kim
She was a good leg
I'm just saying
Nah I
There was a girl
At this deployment at almost
I was almost there
I held strong though
I pushed through
We must stay focused brothers
We must stay focused
Fucking stay focused
It was the last time
You fucking psycho
It was the last
Oh you idiot
It was like the last two months
Of the deployment and I was really feeling weak
So I got
We were talking
How much semen do you think are on those bases?
I mean you could probably impregnate the entire continent
You could probably impregnate the entire continent
I would not want to take a blacklight to your base
I wouldn't either
But you just don't think about that
Especially when you're
Showering
The showers there were fucking massive
So did you have like the
Quarantined off showers
Or was it just one big high school shower type thing
Nah we had like separate showers
This is a picture of
The shower
Okay
That definitely does look like Russian
Cold war era shower
It was a shitty shower but you had a lot of space in it
You had a spacious area
Did you run out of hot water ever?
It was also dependent on which shower you used
Some showers had better hot water pressure
And better hot water than others
So did they all have their own hot water heater?
Or was it all one thing?
I didn't know, we had two separate
Hard staying bathrooms for the men
The women had a weird conic shower
Because we had like four women
So they had a separate bathroom
That was coded
It had a coded door and only the women knew the code to it
But half the time the code was just unlocked
And you get to fucking use it
I wonder if something happened in there
So funny enough there was actually
We had a fire crew there
One of them was a creepy old dude
And he would go around
Just blatantly asking the females for pictures
And then he actually
Got caught trying to put cameras in the bathroom
I can think of someone else who did that
Oh I know somebody who did that
Yes yes
He pretended to be part of the cleaning crew
But it's a very small fucking base
So everyone knows
What everyone does
And who everyone is
So it's like
You're not part of the cleaning crew
What the fuck are you doing in there
He was gone the next day
On a plane the fuck out of there
And that, getting on a plane the next day
Is very hard to do because you've packed
A lot of shit and most people unpack
And they live there for nine fucking months
You have your room, you don't shift around
You've got piss poor leadership
Who's like, yo we're just going to jumble you around all the fucking time
Like no dude, fuck off
So
What ended up happening, he just fucking
Gone
He just gone and
Yeah, never saw him again
Sent to the nether realm
Bye bye, he got sent to the shadow realm
But that happened
So that was like the creepiest thing for the women that happened
To my knowledge anyway
Now, it was a fuckfest on this base
Like everyone, like most people were just fucking everyone
Cause there was so few women
So those four chicks got passed around
No, there was one girl who came
Like leader in the deployment
And she got passed around
She was married too
She wore her ring
And she got fucking passed around
And she had no shame about it
This is why Ken did nothing wrong
But yeah, I'm like
And she talked to me one time
I don't want to do that
I don't want to speak to you with any interaction
Whatsoever, like we, cause her job
Was nowhere near related to mine
There was no reason for me to speak to her whatsoever
And she approached me one day
And I'm like, we don't need to be speaking
Don't talk to me
She outranked me at the time
And then I got promoted and we were at equal rank
She was a sergeant
But I'm like, we do not
There is no conversation that ever
Is something that I want to be a part of with you
There is no conversation that I ever need to be a part of
If one of your fucking people died
You still don't need to talk to me
You go talk to the fucking medic
Not me, I don't care
Not my job to care
My job is to fucking tell people
When we're getting shit on by the fucking
Other people who are trying to kill us
That's my job
Then I fucking leave my station
Someone comes and relieves me and I go and fucking
Smoke people too
So yeah, you don't ever need to speak to me
Go away
Was she at least hot?
She had like a rat face
Like a very scrunched face
She had like a fit
Like ass
But she was fit
Like six pack fit or like semi six pack fit?
The light six pack?
When she wore yoga pants
Or like tight leggings
It was like, it was nice to look at
And then you looked at who it was and you're like
Unless you're okay with that
And it's like, have at it dude
I can't do that
She had a full leg sleeve and that was like the most attractive part about her
And then I figured out what she was
Like I saw her
The first time I saw her I'm like, oh you're attractive
And then I figured out like an hour later
Who the fuck she was
Because a girl that I knew in Djibouti
Was telling me about her, warned me about her
And I'm like, oh
Thanks for the heads up
And then I saw her and I'm like, does she have a full leg sleeve?
And she's like, yes
Is this her last name? And she's like, yes
She need five? She's like, yes
I know exactly who we were talking about
She's standing right in front of me in the chow line
So yeah
Figured out who she was
I figured most army bitches would be Les
I ended up roasting her
We had a group chat, it was a swap and sell chat
Where you could swap and sell items and everything you fucking wanted
Like vapes and whatever the fuck
Fans, chargers, weights
You wanted to swap or sell with someone
You could put it in this chat, most of the base was in it
And she said
Some shit, she got a tattoo of a gunner
Like a gunner's tattoo, with the wrong gun
On it
And it also had the dates
It had our base name
And then 2022, 2023
She had only been at the base
She only came to the base in like 2023
And she was only there for like two and a half weeks
When she fucking got this tattoo
And then, so I let that slide
I commented on it
In a nice little jab
And people reacted
Because the whole camp was in it, they would watch this chat
Most people were just lurking it
There was the main group of people who talked in it
And then there was people who would drop
One liners and those people were like
Whenever I spoke in it, it was like
Noticed
But nobody knew my face because you had your little
Profile icon and you could make it whatever you wanted
Picture yourself or some stupid image
Mine was a picture of
The image of what our call sign would be
My call sign was phantom
So you're a ghost? Yeah, so we had like a weird ghost
I still have it, I'll show you guys in a minute
But like
So we had this and I
Made a comment on it
And she
The camp kind of liked that and shit
So, let me see here
That's my fucking
Background
But, yeah
So they said shit about that and they were like
Oh my god, what the fuck, you just roasted her
And then
So
Yeah, now it's called
The swap, sell, and roast session
Chat
Because some kid was trying to sell
A switch
Or a steam deck actually
And
She said in the chat
Tell me you're a virgin without telling me you're a virgin
And then I'm like
As a gamer I have to step up
Gamers rise up bro
And then, so we had a poopedemic
Is what we called it, a lot of people
We had food poisoning happen and a lot of
People got the shits for like a month
And a half, two months at a time, people were just
Shitting their fucking brains out, I had the shits for like
Three weeks there, and she was there
For like two and a half, three weeks at this time when she said
This, and I come in
And then
She said something else and I wasn't going to say anything for that comment
Then she came in with something else
Like virgin's unite or some shit like that
And I'm like alright, I'm fucking destroying her
So all my people, I told my people
In my group chat, I'm like yo I'm gonna fucking destroy her
Watch the chat
Watch, prepare, watch the chat
So then I started typing and when I started typing
People recognized my icon
And they were like oh boy, let him cook
I had like four let him cooks pop up
Let him cook
And so I
Send this and I'm like
You got a fucking gunner's tattoo
You're not even a gunner
You're a fucking generator mechanic
I gotta pull this up cause what I said was better than
Me trying to paraphrase this shit bro
Oh my god, let me find
This shit, hang on, bear with me
Bear with me
You still have it?
Oh my god yes
Okay here we go
Virgins to combat is what she said, here's what I said
So she said
In 2023 we can identify as virgins if we want
That gets us into heaven right?
So I said
Didn't you get a gunner tattoo
That says
The base we're at on it
With 2022 to 2023
And you spent most of your deployment in DJ
Djibouti
When guys have had the shits longer than you've been here
I have
On that message I had instantly
Within five minutes
21 laughing reactions
4 death reactions
And I had
Four death reactions
And like three other different reactions
And then the chat just went
Wild
And everyone's like oh my god you just
Fucking killed her
She's dead
And then immediately after that they changed
The chat name to swap, sell
And roast session
And I'm like sweet victory
Sweet sweet victory
And she shut up, she didn't even come at me
She didn't come at my comment after that, she went after the same
Kid she was going at before
And then I come in and I just
Hit her again
And everyone's just like oh my god stop
Fucking beating the dead horse
He's already dead
And I'm like no
She didn't say anything to me
She was just, she couldn't recover
And then the chat just
It sputtered out
After that the argument sputtered out and I'm like
Jesus Christ
She never once defended herself against me
And I'm like
And that was the end of it, that was the end of it
And then, she wanted to fuck you bro
No because we had another reaction
Later in the next couple of months
After that where
One of my guys mistakenly shot a
Aardvark as opposed to
A warthog
Yeah
And that happened, so people were like
I'm like do you guys want to eat it?
And like I mean I'll try it
I'm like alright bring it back
So they brought it back
And I'm like I was on shift at the time
So I'm like I put it in the chat, does anyone know
How to skin animals
And I said reach out, DM me
She DM'd me
And she's like yeah what animal? I'm like I got an aardvark
And she's like
I've never even fucking seen one of those
And she's like
Well I've dressed up deer before
It can't be any different, I'm like it's a fucking aardvark
What are you talking about?
It's vastly different
It's like fucking Arthur
It's like an ant eater
But bigger I think
It's what Arthur is
A shorter nose and a fatter snout
So she takes it and she strings it up
And the guys who shot it wanted to watch for a little bit
So they helped out a little bit
And then they tried it the next day
It was pretty good, aardvarks not bad
You guys are fucking insane
I just shot aardvarks so I might as well eat it
Yeah so like
So yeah that happened
That was an interaction
And then she ended up coming into the building
That I was working in
Before that, at least weeks before that
It was like maybe a week after I roasted her
She came into the building to do a tour of where I was working
For all of our defense systems and defense capabilities
I was like speaking a lot
But I didn't have my uniform top on
That says my last name on it
It was on my chair right next to me
And the name tape was like on the
Front of the chair facing out
So I sat down in the chair afterwards
And I made sure it was visible
And it didn't click with her at all
And if it did, she hid it very well
And I'm like
Even if it doesn't, even if you have
Any bad thoughts, you have bad vibes about that
You didn't like what I said
You still can't fucking touch me for it
Like you
Don't outrank the people who supported
My fucking comment
I had people from the other platoons
That were like DMing me
And putting me in group chats like bro what the fuck
What did you do to her
You fucking killed her
I had no backlash
From that message
Whatsoever
Everyone was DMing me like bro
You just oh my god
And I'm
But yeah I had no backlash
People were just like happy about it
Because she is
She came in and she thought she owned everything
Like we had a bunch of group chats
And she would just try to like
Be part of it
She would just try to like force her way into these groups of people
You're not one of the boys
Yeah you're not well, you're not one of the boys
You're not welcome in this chat
Like what are you doing, why are you, why were you added
Because someone who's fucking you added you
Yeah probably
That's exactly what it was too
But I'm guessing, I always
Assume that most women in the army were fucking lesbos
Some yes
But oddly enough a lot of them no
Really
I mean I know a
You know her too actually a marine
Who is
Oh yeah
So
I mean that's just
That was from the start
Well yes but then no
Really
As soon as those two broke up
There was a bout of bi
That I was a part of
And I'm like
Ha ha
But yeah
She's down south
And full lesbian
This girl
And the deployment was just, she was a bitch
And she was a
Whore
Unhandy whore
Dude I mean
Through our old company
There was the group of lesbians
That just tossed each other around
Back and forth
And then there was the girls that would just get passed
Around by the certain group of guys
Beepers
Downswing
And then
It was pretty much one particular
Then there was like the separated couples
Which I was part of
And then
Yeah that happened so
Unbelievable
Out fucking standing
Marine
Out standing
I never shat where I ate
I did but it didn't affect me
Too negatively
For like two weeks it did
And then there was just like alright I'm ready to
Ready to go again
But yeah I never shat where I ate
That's awesome because I think like
After one year at mohawk
I was dating my now
Fucking like
Six year plus girlfriend
So yeah
I'm still on the hunt
Yeah you're gonna
You both of you guys are gonna be in the fucking groomsmen party
For me
I'm gonna make a speech
Even if I'm not your best friend
You're just gonna get up there
I'm gonna get
I don't get shitfaced normally
But I will and I will give you the most embarrassing
Drunken speech you've ever fucking heard
This motherfucker
I'm gonna be like
Remember when our fucking boot knives
Were the size of them together
Like oh my god
Dude we fucking
I can't even carry my boot knife anymore
Where I work they didn't let me
They said it was scaring patience
Wow
It was scaring
I did but because I took my boots off
When I went to sleep they saw that it was like
Hanging out of my boot
It scares patience
I'm like literally a guy threatened to shoot me
I never fucking state trooper
And he told me
No this is a she
She told me
You have to take that off
No I don't
It's legal
It's not a concealed weapon
Because it's out in the open
Therefore I'm not concealed carrying
I've tried but the pant leg rides up
And she's like I'm gonna confiscate it
I'm like the fuck you are
I'm on a call right now
You have no business trying to interfere with my fucking work
Was that on the plaza
Yeah dude I was with you
She was giving me shit
And I'm like what the fuck
And I just kind of tucked mine in
You were on the back of the ammo
And you were like roll that over
And I'm like this knife was
Given to me by my fucking uncle who I see
Like once a decade
So no you're not taking it
And if you want to try then I'm gonna go to jail
For it
But I was like I'm just gonna tuck that
Yeah that was
That was the one bad interaction
With like a Leo that I had
So
Dude she was just kind of a cunt
Yeah most of the officers that we encountered were like dude that's fucking sick
They wanted to see it
I'm like
That can be taken out of context they want to see it and feel it
I want to see it and feel it brother
But they wanted to see it
And check the knife out
And I'm like yeah that's fucking sweet man my uncle gave this to me
They loved it
And then remember Ronnie's fucking knife
That little fucking tiny thing
That stuck out on the side
That fucking thing
I had it it was like it was kind of on the
Outside like the sheath was
But because I put it under my pants you couldn't even fucking tell
You had yours on the outer portion
I had mine on the inner portion
Because I always had it on the outer
Portion because if I was gonna go down
It was like I could just pop it out
Like that and it wouldn't like be like
I'm reaching here
It would just kind of look like I'm going down
And I just pop it out
See mine was on the inner portion of my leg and if I was walking
Towards you and you were looking at me head on it was difficult
To see unless my zipper was
Not done up correctly
Then it would just flop around there and I was worried
About it falling out as soon as I did the zipper up on the side
Of the boot there where the knife
Because it was attached to the webbing on the
Inside there because I couldn't
Get it to attach to the outside of the outside of the
Boot there on the outside of my leg
Because it would be uncomfortable
I mean because I wore the longer socks
I did too but it wasn't enough padding
Really because I had like
I filed down a little bit of the metal
So it wouldn't like be rubbing against my leg
So I filed down a little bit of the metal
On the clip and I would just keep it on the side
There but because
Like it was like that and I would fucking
I would tighten my boots pretty tight
It would just basically be like pinned to my leg
And like even when I moved it
It was just basically like a leg brace
But yeah I fucking loved that
Fucking thing. I still have it in my trunk
In my car. I still have mine in some of my
Room. I didn't take it with me to Somalia
I think I know where it is but I'd have to look
For it. My boots I think
They finally got thrown out while
I was gone. I'm really
Upset about it because those were my work boots
And I just my the soles were
Tearing up on them so I needed to buy new ones anyway
So I have to go get new boots. Dude
Every two years I got to replace my EMS
Boots. Mine lasted
The time I was there
And they made it through a fair amount of
Of the construction work that I did
Until I started working with concrete. Then
Concrete really tears apart your stuff
Because the ambulance
That we have. We have the foldable
Like step
That goes in and I just use my foot to do it
Every time. Oh yeah. So I just tear
I just tear up my boot. I fucking hated the
Shitty ones that were so loose where as soon as you
Stepped out and you tried to fold it to get the
Stretch up but you pushed it too hard
It would bounce back and smack you in the
Shinn because you were impatient. I had
So many bruises on my. Like everyone had bruises on their
Shinn. If you didn't have a bruise on your
Shinn from the fucking steps smacking you
You were not a true EMT
No. You weren't. Dude those things
Would fucking hurt. Yep. You
Was like your fucking ankle. My
Ankle? Yeah you tall motherfucker
Yeah. Not as tall as
Scottie. Yeah
Fucking Scottie fucking he
Was his like toes
Yeah. Dude he's such a
Fucking. He's a tall dude. He's 6'10
Yeah it's unbelievable. 6'10
I think he has a kid now
Does he really? I didn't know he settled down
Yeah I think he's married and has a
Kid. Good for him
Didn't even invite me to the wedding. I'm gonna go fucking kick his ass
I don't know if he's married yet but I
Know he has a kid. Okay
I knew he had a girlfriend at one point
But I didn't know if it was still a friend
He had like an Asian girlfriend for a little bit
He did. He did. And she was tiny
She's out now. Yep. I met
His current wife or girlfriend
I think
He brought her in
Because she was feeling like sick or something
And we just did a
Brought her to the fucking station and that's the little if either killer
We just did a fucking 12 lead
Honor. That's all he needed and he's just like
I would rather just come here and get a 12 lead
For free than deal fucking
Company fines him that fucking charges him
Five grand just for the fucking 12 lead
Because he was a medic
So he was getting himself
I was like I don't know what's going on here
Good for him for getting his medic
Because he was
When I first talked to him about EMS
He was really debating it and I was talking
Telling him like the bullshit we got into
And then the good shit we would do
The problems you would have
Mentally and then I realized
Wait a minute you're a multi deployed
Combat vet who's been in fucking
Firefights and we talked
About that more and the shit that he's seen
And done and he's like dude any like
Almost anything you can show tell me or show me
And EMS will not fuck with me and then we talked
About it like a year or two into his EMS
When he's seen some shit there he's like this
Is nothing like fucking combat like you see
Some fucked up shit in combat yeah
But you see some fucked up shit like what we have
Yeah because like he was telling me like he saw
Like a fucking like he two
People a person got pinned between two cars
Yeah he's like that shit was worse than what I saw
Over there yeah he said that like and he's
Been in multiple fucking firefights
And he's like how he how he never got his head
Shot off I'll never fucking know I just
My favorite story that he's ever told me
Was like he was like listening to the radio thing
And his like guy that was
With him was like just started
Running away he's like what did he say
What did he say
He says shoot the tall one he goes
Fuck and he tucks down
He said there's just a volley of fire that goes over his head
Yep yep that's one
Of my favorite stories that he said
Me and him had a talk about it he's like dude the
Shit you see in combat is comparable
To the shit you see in
Like pre-hospital care
Like the trauma not necessarily
Like the medical side of it but the
Trauma side of it the trauma side of it
Can be very fucking bad
But yeah the combat side of things
It's more so you have to deal with like if you're
In a firefight and you fucking pop somebody
You have to deal with that because
There's that whole thing about it you take a life
It takes a part of your soul but there's also
How you do it
Like yeah if you use a knife
Yeah you're gonna watch them fucking die
If you use a gun you might watch them die
Depending on how close they are
If you use a fucking
If you use a fucking drone
It's a video game at that point
It's just like playing
Like C-130 guys with like the thermal shit
Like I've seen like
Actual C-130 footage like people getting
Blown up it's like a video game
I watched strikes happen
When I was in Smellin' I knew where these people were
I knew what they were doing I watched my own fucking
People get swacked
And I'm like ah
Like we I knew a couple of the locals and
We were talking to them a lot
And we were like I guess you can call it
Friends or like more than acquaintances
But not like close
So like yeah because we had a group of them
That shared the base with us
And we would talk to them a lot we weren't
They weren't really allowed that much
On our base but occasionally they would come over to
Talk to our people
And we would talk
We would talk to them and we'd get
Strike up conversations share shit with them
And we would trade patches and shit
And other cool stuff
And then like to see them go out
And do a raid or get hit by
And then like it would get fucked up
They'd get ambushed or hit by an IED on the way back
Or the way there and they'd have to fucking beat feet back
Like those
To see that and be like who got hit
And you'd find out you'd listen for the name
Because their names are sometimes hard to pronounce
But I knew one guy his name was Ken
Funny enough Ken did nothing wrong
I'm like wait a minute
You are thoroughly Somali
And your name is Ken
He's like it's easier to pronounce trust me
So yeah like I knew a couple of them
And like we weren't really
Yeah but like most of the people on the base
Didn't talk to me it was only when they came
To a certain building that I worked in
For a little while and we got to know them a little bit
But like at the end of it
Like when they go out
And then you hear oh shit it went bad
And you ask how bad
And they're like bad bad
And then they come back
On whatever method of transport
That we send out to get them because we would do
Medevac for certain people
And we would get them back
And they'd be like who was it
And you'd find out the name and it was like oh shit
I was having a really cool conversation with this dude
Last night
And it's like fuck man
It's not the same as if like
If I had one of my guys like one of my
Close guys who went out and they got
Fucking their shit pushed in
That's different
That's vastly different but like
Still it's a
It's a lesser form of it
Yeah but yeah
I mean like I think for
Us at least in like the EMS side
I don't know the person who's dying
I don't know him from fucking Adam
Like I don't like
As bad as this is saying I don't really care
Yeah you have to if you start
To care too much the job
Will get to you that much more yeah because like when
I started like I cared a lot
Yeah there was only one patient
That fucked me up and that gave me problems
And that was I don't remember who
Was on the call with I want to say it was you
Or pasta
Deputy pasta
But
Maybe I don't remember who it was
But it was we went to a fire
And we were on standby
For that and they pulled out a
Little girl couldn't have been more than like 11
Years old and her
Hands were cooked
And I went to it didn't bother me at the
Time yeah and then like
I don't know maybe a month later like I had
Been thinking about it here and there for in that month
And then I went like a month later I went to a barbecue and you know
Those little wiener hot dogs right oh yeah
They were on a grill and
It was a hallucination like saw
As soon as I saw it I'm like those are fucking
Fingers and I fucking like
Collapsed back like I had an out of body
Freak out yeah
That may have been my first ever panic attack
And I just
Sat there and I sat on the
Side and my dad came over and checked on
Me he's like dude you what's going on
And he's like
Alright it's time for you to go get some fucking help
So that was like my
Big fucking problem
But that was like different like that's why I
Stopped doing like I really tried to stay away from like the pediatric shit
Yeah because of that
Like anytime we had like a fire
Any possibility of like
Pediatric burn victims like I can't
I can't take this so
Yeah because I had one like
That with like the miscarriage
But for me like it came out
And I saw
And it like my
Brain didn't associate it like
Stillborn yeah it was stillborn
And it was like a miscarriage stillborn
And it came out and it looked like
A jello cup
Like a red jello cup
And um
Like not exactly
A red jello cup
But like it like looked enough like it
That like I can't even
See red jello anymore without like
Freaking the fuck out yeah
Like my grandmother
Like cherry jello was like my favorite
Thing for dessert I loved cherry jello
Forever Casey are you good?
Yeah what?
You like are like
Don't make me laugh right now I got fucking
fucking
fucking DLS war story
Jesus Christ
We're really deep right now
And the fucking weed
But like the fiends right now
The jello like
I used to eat jello all the fucking time
Oh yeah and now
I can't even fucking look at it
Like the pre hospital field
And then the military is shit that
Will make stuff that you love no longer
Doable yeah
Jello
I can't
Like smell pennies
Yeah it's weird things too
Like no one who's never been through will ever
Understand the shit
So the way I describe the
Smell of blood like a lot of blood
Is like cinnamon pennies
Alright like
And like for whatever
Reason it like was such a weird
Coincidence that happened my
Dad spilled like the coin things
That we had and I was making cinnamon buns at the same
Time and I started freaking the
Fuck out yeah like I was just like
Fuck me and I was like fucking
Like freaking I was like what the fuck
Is going on like you get
You start to like hyperventilate your blood starts
Really pumping like the feeling
Only people who have ever like
Had issues can relate to
It like someone who like you can tell if someone
Is like oh I made this fucking story
I just want to relate to people
Like dude if you can't describe the
Feeling to me of what it is like to have
These like triggers yeah
I'm gonna have a fucking problem
With you and then it's like because I had
Someone like that in the military I'm like
Wait what
And they're they and that's not right yeah
They they told me some like
Fucking combat story and I was like
Okay that sounds a little sketchy and I went
And I fucking talked to someone else and like
What did he say
And I fucking repeated the story back
To him verbatim and he's like
Dude he's that's like fucking stolen valor
Yeah and then I met I don't
Think he was at Mohawk it might have been at Mohawk
Where I met someone who said
Who was like a volley yeah
And they tried to tell me they had seen
Some shit and I'm like yeah sure you
Probably did see some shit as an EMT
In a volley company sure yeah
But like they then said
That's different than the big dogs yeah
And the big dogs hit on my fucking level
Bottom class that shit every fucking day
And he was telling me about
His experience with it and how he
Dealt with it and then how it fucked him
Up fucked him up in quotes
And I'm like so
What was your trigger
And he's like well you know I didn't really have a trigger
I just had these fucking issues I'm like
Okay but normally shit triggers you
Like you if you have a
Very specific thing it will trigger
There's a couple of them for me
It's the coppery and
Cinnamon smell so you also have the
Nasal thing that triggers you I never
Had a smell that triggered me really no the
Smell of the barbecue still smelled decent
To me like a hot dog is a hot dog
To me but if I see it like nowadays
Like if I go to barbecue and I see it on a grill
It's not going to trigger me as much like it'll
Remind me but I won't freak
Out now most
Of my family even extended family knows
This and they don't really cook
Those anymore they don't cook hot dogs
Hot dogs are fine it's the miniature ones
It's the mini ones
Because those were about the same size as
A small child's thingy
If they get charred
That's what does it
That's the hallucination
But I can usually come out of it on my own
But I haven't had to deal with that
In a while now because
I was deployed for the past year
So and even before that it was like a year
Change before
The last time that I saw that so
Red and blue lights
Specifically like flashing
Lights in particular like white
Lights too like all emergency
Lights yeah but like if I'm like
On scene or like whatever it's fine
Yeah because I think it's just in a different
Mindset yeah but like
When I'm not there like
Red and blue like specifically
Like when they're going like that or like a bright
White light just like flashing
Like I can't like I
Hate when people use camera flashes
Cause it like
Fucking like triggers some weird
Shit in my brain yeah
But yeah
Fucking flashes
Red jello and the
Smell of copper and
And cinnamon yeah
Yeah like there's just people have
Their triggers and I mean yeah some people don't
Like have a trigger they just
Think about things like they just have a bad experience
But nothing really triggers them and even then like
There will be something that will trigger them
The thing that I fucking hate though is like the fucking
16 year old girls that are just like I have PTSD
It's like what the fuck happened to you
It's like well my dad
Yelled at me once so I
You can claim PTSD for fucking
Anything now and it's like do you know
What other people like and then it's like
I've been everybody's
Worst day is their own worst day exactly
And I've been trying to be a little bit
More respective of that
But still you're 16 years old
It's like some people I can't respect
When they say that because it's like
The things that they say is fucking ridiculous
Some people are like I had like
I have PTSD from like my fucking
I don't know I
My dog died in front of me I'm like
I've had three dogs die in front of me
And I'm still here
I watched my dog
I watched my dog get hit by a fucking car
Like it's real sad
It's sad but I don't have PTSD from it
But like I have PTSD
From shit that act like someone's fucking
A child's charred fucking fingers man
I don't even
I'm pretty sure that kid fucking died
But like
At the same time it's like
Your worst day
Is like a fucking
Sunday afternoon for me
Fucking stop that shit
We got Casey over here just
Intentionally triggering fucking tires
Trying to fucking strip me off
Lights in the room flashing
Red and blue right now
You freaked me the fuck out man
All of them are going now
Oh my god
But um
Make them flash faster
Faster flash them faster flash them faster
It's like the fast ones like when they start
Going my fucking
Club lights
Club lights Yeah like someone's worst day
Yeah it's their worst day and
They're gonna say this and that about it
But at the same time like there's a point where
You shouldn't be able to say you have fucking PTSD
From it I just don't agree with that
That's true like my dad
Yelled at me my close my mother
Who's always been so nice to me yelled at
Me like okay that's being
That's that's growing up like
I fucking flipped out sometimes
On people yeah and like
I'm like I am sorry
It's like I'm sorry for being
Insensitive but you're you're it's
Bullshit come on like
Grow the fuck up I guess I don't know what you
Want me to say like sorry sorry
Your shit is a minor fucking
Problem for you but like I've got
People who actually have real PTSD
Who I've had to be who I've had to fucking check
Up on like almost every day
So they didn't fucking off themselves
Yeah so like I can't
Really relate to you or
Expect you or even
Let you can't expect me to to
Relate and be respectful
Of your being yelled at by mommy
And daddy when my fucking best friend
Over there almost murked themselves
From their shit like no
Sorry they're like can't
I I feel like
Kids glorify mental
Disorders yes a lot
Mental health is glorified right now it's glorified
Bad mental health is glorified right now
And everyone's like self care
And all that like okay self care
But you don't need to have you ever put
A gun in your mouth because I have yeah
Do you want to fucking like talk
About it like do that privately
Don't air your shit out to the fucking
World like right now like we can't
Really we're hypocritical right now
But at the same time it's like the people who constantly
Post and post and post and post about it
And even the people who don't have anything wrong with them
Who post about it it's like you are
No reason to talk about it
You are in no no position to
So shut up carry
On sit down shut up sit down
Are you a fucking psychiatrist
No do you actually have anything wrong with you
No shut the fuck up don't talk
About it I'll fucking cut you because when you talk
Fucking yeah gizzard I'll fucking cut
You like a fish because when you talk
About it you might trigger someone who's trying to fucking
Forget it they're working on it they're doing their
Thing and all that shit right I'm doing my best
And you just fucking reminded me I had forgotten
About it for like three weeks now I was doing great
And you just fucking reminded me
I smell cinnamon bark
Cinnamon cinnamon
Buzzing pennies oh my god
Oh well we hope we didn't
Trauma dump too much on this message
Sorry about that
Like we get down in a downward spiral
Sometimes
We're allowed to we're grown ass fucking men here
We can deal with our shit we're canuff
Now I'm gonna need to take all of your fucking
Weapons right now
I don't think Ali Max coming
Yeah we're all canuff
Oh my god if his trauma dump happened
We would be here for three hours
Dude that already happened
He already did that
He's done that like four times already
And so did he and Saunders
Yeah we fucking like straight up
Like fucking spiraled down
For a good like you know hour
Like when you talk about it though it becomes a spiral
Because you as soon as you start talking about it
You didn't I didn't cause I just
Bottled that shit up and
I come out realizing I'm just gonna blow up
One day
One day you're just not gonna hear from me
Casey we're just gonna be sitting here talking
You're just gonna start bawling
What happened you're like it came out
It's here it's the day
It's here the day is
The day of Rekhaim is nigh brothers
I can't do it anymore
I need to talk
I need to cry
I cut the cameras
It's good to cry it's good to let it out
Cut the mic
Cut the fucking breaks
Alright
We'll wrap this one up
Doing God's work
Thanks for coming on Dan
I'm glad to have you back
Of course of course
I mean I'm not doing anything
I mean it's late at night so
Cool cool
Email us on Tidal Podcasts 73
At gmail.com
Please fucking email us we don't have a single
Email not even from
Spam we don't even get
Spam email
We don't get anything
Just fucking
You can send us a picture of a fucking horse cock
For all I care just something
Preferably your tits
If you're of age
Hey Titty Thread in the chat let's go
Titty Thread
And each other
We out
Music
Yeah yeah what up
We're on episode 40
Episode 40
Yup
Got bonus content for you
Damn
Pre-recorded bonus content
So is this episode 40
Or is this going on episode 40
I think this will be on in episode 40
Yup
Oh damn
This is some Pink Floyd for you
Welcome back to the late night
Episode of
Tidal Podcasts
It's
6 in the morning here
But
It's not
Too late for some smelling salt
Oh fuck
Now I'm doing the real one
It's never a bad
Never a bad time
I love you Atomic Rhino
Here
You want me to do that one
Yeah fuck you I hit that shit
That one's it's not as bad
It's not as bad as this one
As this one
I thought that one was stronger
Do it
It's like being dunked in bleach water
What the fuck man
Yeah that's pretty fucking bad
Where's the fucking
Alright Dad
Was the moon landing real yes or no
Was it real
It was as real as it gets
What evidence do you have
That it wasn't real
Where is this coming from
You know where that comes from
That comes from Russian propagandists
No
It does
It's the most fucking American thing that ever happened
Of all the conspiracies that we will leave on this podcast
And we don't think the moon landing is fake
Absolutely not
Nope
Not one bit
Those motherfuckers
Dude they fly untested airplanes
The guys that they sent to the moon
They literally they're the first ones
To test airplanes
To see if they fuck up
Bro those motherfuckers
Had a greater setup
And a greater sound stage
And a greater script than Joseph Pfeiffer did
On 901
Bullshit
Dude Neil Armstrong you're gonna tell me
Look there's an interview with Neil Armstrong
You watch it and you're like oh fuck
We went to the moon
Cause this guy just doesn't
He just doesn't
It wasn't a big deal to him to go to the moon
He was just like
Everyday part of our job
He acted like going to the moon was like
Me walking to Stewart's
He was just like
Dude we had a lot of work to do
Like it wasn't like
It wasn't that big of a deal and then he said
The president called while they're on the moon
I think I talked about this before
The president called while they're on the moon
And uh he wanted to like
Congratulate him but he was like dude
We've got so much work to do
Like that's cool the president's calling
We're busy up here dude
Like that's why these politicians
Yeah I mean there's a lot of work
That goes into production
Of the film
Well yeah
They did have to film it
So that was work
But uh
No it's like these politicians think
That they're so special that they can fucking
Call people while they're doing work on the moon
It's like dude you're the least
Fucking important human on earth
Right now
It's like president Nixon
It was Nixon right?
For the moon landing? Yeah
No it was Kennedy
No it was 1969? I think Kennedy was dead
No Kennedy died
He didn't get to see it
And then who was it?
I think it was Nixon right? Or Lyndon B Johnson
Well no Kennedy died in 63
So
I think it was Nixon
Yeah probably
And they're like
Oh hey this is the president who you never speak
Got to meet
Doesn't give a fuck about him any other time
But it's like oh
An opportunity to interject myself
Into somebody else's accomplishment
Let me give you a call
So I can be part of history
It's like you didn't fucking do anything you fucking loser
It's like Andrew Cuomo
In that photo op that we were talking about
That one time
With a car accident? Yeah
Exactly Look how Andrew Cuomo turned out to be
Yeah exactly
A fucking sex offender
We were saying that back then like there's some shady shit
Behind this guy like nobody liked him
And it turned out
To be true
Yeah but it wasn't really true though
He didn't do anything like
What did he even do?
He sexually harassed his female staff
Well I mean
Either that or
He made sexual advances
Going along with the status quo
And they made that up
No I think he actually did
I don't know man
Because they released some of the stuff he did
He was singing to one of the girls on the phone
It's like
Well if I was a fucking single
55 year old 60 year old guy
I'd probably be doing the same thing
Like singing to her on the phone telling her
She's beautiful it's like you're the governor
You're like dude you're one of the most
Powerful people in the world
Yeah
It's like how the fuck did that guy get canceled
I don't understand
Well you know he got charged
Did he get charged with crime? I don't know
No he didn't get
Charged with a crime but he was just
Publicly humiliated
You know he's fucked now but he can just retire in peace
Because he's got money
Yeah but it still sucks to go out on a bad note
You know
But look they got Elliot Spitzer too
And he was the governor right?
Yup
New York state governors have a fucking
They got a history of
They got a history of this shit
But Elliot Spitzer was really bad
That was fucking rough
Well you remember David Patterson?
Yeah what did he do?
He was just retarded
Dude he was blind he wasn't retarded
Well no
He was politically
Politically retarded
Well I mean what do you expect
He was blind? No I'm just joking
I'm just joking that's a joke
Yeah no
I don't even remember
I know he lived in
He lived locally
Yeah I think he was
From Albany or something
I think he was from Gielin
Yeah
He lived over that way
Yeah but he was like
He wasn't even a real
He was like the governor by accident
By default
Yeah that doesn't count
Just like Katie Hokel
Right
I don't even feel like she's the governor
So
You know how we were talking about
That fucking stupid fucking
Song the other day?
What song? The fucking
Try that in a small town
I fucking hate
Upstate New York Red Decks
Like I fucking hate them
They're the worst
They have all the worst
Qualities of Red Decks with none of the good
Qualities
Good Red Decks are like
Good at working on shit
They make good money doing a skill
The Red Decks around here are
Fucking barflies who ride ATVs
Yeah I grew up in a small
Town
We're in Upstate New York
And all the
So called Red Neck
Upstate New York Hillbillies around here
I just I don't know
I just had a bad experience with them growing up
Yeah? Yeah
You just didn't get along with them in school?
No they're just fucking stupid
Oh I mean I kind of did
I used to have like
I used to have a lifted
Truck and
I used to be a little bit of a
Redneck I was definitely white trash
That's for sure
Like everybody in school would be like
What do you want? You know I was like
What do you want to be when you grow up? And all the Red Necks would be like
Oh I want to be the fucking school bus
Driver
No
There's this one kid who like from like
Fifth grade for like
When we started school he'd be like
I want to be the school bus driver when I grow up
No way And I'm pretty sure he is but
Dude
The way to set the bar fucking
Low
That's usually the job
Well I mean I'm not going to say anything
Because I know good bus drivers
But it's usually not what people
Aspire to be
That's for sure
If you grew up in upstate New York
I want to be the bus driver
I can't wait to get my hands on that
Wheel and pull that stop sign out
And then I'll get one and drop the road
I can't wait to smell that diesel fuel
And run that bus up and down these
Hill boys
And then there's all the kids that like
From your high school that
That have died since you
Left there and you're like oh yeah
I saw that coming
Yeah I mean I don't think we lost anybody in our grade yet
Really
I don't think so I think everybody's
I think everybody's pretty much
Still alive There's one girl who left our
School and then she died but
I don't think any of the original members
I don't think any of them
Died
Yeah you could just
Tell who it was going to be
Yeah you just knew
The kids that were into drugs
Yeah
We didn't really have much
To like
You could tell that they didn't have a lot of
Stuff going on other than
Like the drugs Right
Yeah dude the drug thing is
Scary man
I remember
I never really did anything
I wasn't into
Any drugs really other than you know I tried
Weed a couple times a few times
But and then I tried
Was it MDMA or was it
It wasn't
MDMA it was ecstasy
And that was
Scary dude that was
Like I got chest pain
After taking it like a
Mild chest ache that
I had for like years after
That
Years yeah
I don't know if this is in my head or what
But
You know cause I had like
High hyperthyroid
And that so that probably wasn't
Like a good thing you know cause your
Heart rates already elevated
But
I just remember like
I remember
It was like kinda like a dream when I took it
And I was hanging out with a real like scumbag
Kind of kid
He meant well but he was like always into the drugs
And I don't know why I was hanging
Out with him this one night
But there's this one guy
I'll never forget him he had like
He was fucking huge
Like kinda like jacked and fat
If you know what I mean like a fat
Jacked guy yeah and
He had no front teeth
And
He was like the town drug dealer
Like he always had
This kid was like oh yeah that dude he's always got E on him dude
He doesn't talk like Don Juan but
He talks like I fucking
Like yeah dude he's always got ecstasy
Like he'll definitely have some bro
Like we'll get some from him
So he talked like a white kid
Yeah yeah
So yeah we got it
And then it was like $20 a pill or whatever
And then
I dropped mine on the
Floor and somebody stepped on it
So on purpose
What's that? On purpose?
No by accident
And so he's like dude lick it
Lick it off the floor dude
Lick it off the floor bro don't want to go to waste
So I licked it off the floor and
It's a
It's a good drug
It really is
No I had chest pain but overall good experience
Yeah
No but my
My buddy went to the bathroom
And there's this
One girl I don't know how I knew her
But I mean it was his girlfriend
But I knew her from somewhere else I think I might have been working with her
But I just like
He went to the bathroom
It was his girlfriend and I started making out with her
And it was just like
That's just what ecstasy does
It just makes it like
Like there's no apprehension
It's just like normal
Yeah and she was cool with it
It was just like strange drugs are strange dude
It was like I would never do that
I could have looked that girl up and see what she's up to these days
But
She was floating around
What the fuck
I'm not recommending it but you know
I
I'm not recommending it but you know
Back in the day I was like I don't know maybe 18 or 19
But that's the hardest thing I ever did
That's actually ecstasy is considered a soft drug
It's not a hard drug
You would think it's a hard drug but it's not
I have not done ecstasy
Yeah but that's my
That's the extent of my drug experience but
Like a lot of those kids in that
Circle
They all ended up dead
So actually the guy
The toothless guy
The toothless fat
Jacked guy he died from drug overdose
So I mean
You know
If you fucking if you're selling it
You've got
Unlimited access
Listen audience of Untitled Podcast
Don't do drugs
I'm not condoning this I'm just saying
You know sometimes some experimentation
Happens when you're young
Listen if you're under the age of 18
You probably shouldn't be listening to this podcast
Anyway but don't fucking do drugs
Drugs are fucking bad
I'm gonna be honest with you probably we should raise the age
Of 21
What of this podcast?
For people listening yeah
Yeah I would say
I don't think anybody under the age
Of 21 should really we don't mind if
You're listening it's just you might wanna
Get some parental
Consent first
What do you think about the
Tobacco age being raised
To 21? I think it's stupid
Cause when you can just
That's only county wide
Right? But it's multiple counties
You just drive to the
Next county it's not
I think it's becoming a thing that
Everybody wants to do it
Yeah
I don't know man I don't know how much
It's really gonna fix you know
Taxation really does actually help
It does it solves two problems
It gets the government money
Cause they don't have enough and
It makes it
Financially
More difficult for people to buy it
Bro the government says taxation without
Representation right? That was the whole thing of
The American Revolution
That wasn't the government that was the people
But that was like the whole idea of
What America was founded on
And yet we fucking tax like our territories
Like fucking Puerto Rico and shit
And they don't have any representation
In the fucking
Like the Senate
In the fucking US
President vote
No there's no representation
In Puerto Rico
Well dude like here's the thing here's the trade off
It's like do you want
Tax representation or
Do you want to not have tax representation?
What am I trying to say?
Or do you want to be protected by the
Largest military in the world?
That nobody can fuck up it's like pick your poison
You want to be off by yourself?
So you're gonna complain about the tax
Representation or you're gonna take the fucking
Protection of the strongest military
Imagine if somebody attacked Puerto Rico
We would have to go and fucking
Defend them
There's like a movement in Hawaii to
Succeed from the United States
You ever hear about that?
Yeah good luck
Nobody succeeds from the United States
How did that happen
Even how did we get Hawaii?
Um
Got it I think we just colonized it
Or like bought it from
That's a good question I fucking forgot
Wasn't it from Japan?
I don't know but uh
Isn't where was Pearl Harbor?
Hawaii
It was?
See that's why we got Hawaii dude
Do you understand?
That's what that was the whole
Point of getting Hawaii why else do we want
Hawaii?
Fucking Hawaii in the middle of nowhere
They'll kinda kinda fuck do we give about
Hawaii? We'll take anything we can
Get I think
Look I'm telling you Puerto Rico's next
That's the next Pearl Harbor is gonna be Puerto Rico
History
Of Hawaii
American immigration led by
Protestant missionaries
And Native Hawaiian out migration
Mostly on whaling ships began almost
Immediately after Captain Cook's
Arrival oh shit
Captain Cook went there?
The Captain Hook?
No Captain Cook did
He was for Peter Pad though
I don't know that was
In the 1800's
I don't know
All I know is that Hawaii was made a state
In the 1940's
Damn
In the 1940's
So
Hold on a sec Pearl Harbor
Pearl Harbor happened when?
19...
Oh wait was that
Pearl Harbor before it was a state? Yeah
Oh no I think it was 1959
So we already had military there
So we had a base there but it wasn't
Oh no it was 1959
That's fucking crazy
I've never seen the movie Pearl Harbor
Isn't it any good?
I want
I don't know if I
I don't remember actually I think I
Watched it
Oh so I guess Hawaii
Was controlled independently
As the
Republic of Hawaii
Before the US
They agreed to become a part of the United
States in
1898
As the territory of Hawaii
Wow
Dude you know the United
States is only a world superpower
Because they literally
Monopolized like all these
Territories it's literally like
The game Monopoly you just have to acquire
The most property
The earliest on
And you become the world superpower
Like I think it was
What James Madison
Was one of the people that was most
Herman Rowe Madison or
Monroe that was
Most responsible for acquiring
Territory for the US like he
Was part of the Louisiana purchase
I forget what else but it's literally like
This guy was responsible for purchasing
Half of the United States
Oh yeah Monroe
I think you bought a lot of shit
Louisiana
Territory and shit
And then it's like some of the territories he bought
Finished off the border
At the top of the United States
It's fucking crazy
But it's even crazier
If you think
Like think if there were no borders
Right because like when we see a map
We think of the United States
You know what I mean like and its borders
But those borders aren't even real
Right imaginary
Lines
They're imaginary lines
Like isn't that crazy to think about though it's like
I don't know and then the perspective
We think of the world like the way we look at it
Like how do we know
That that's the orientation it actually is
Are you a flat earther
I'm not a flat earther but I'm saying like
Like you don't believe in the flat
Earth bro
No I definitely
100% do not but I have a friend
Who adamantly does believe in it
Can we get him on the podcast
Oh bro we could probably call him right now
Oh my god
What time is it in Montana
Probably two hours
Behind
Let's see
Let me
Call his brother
Alright
I guess we're trying to get a legitimate
Flat earther on the podcast
Montana time
Yeah it's two hours
Behind yeah
Oh behind it's 11.27pm
Alright I'm gonna call him
Alright
What's his name
His name's Brian
Alright what about Brian dude
Damn though
Let's see if he picks up
He got a little mad at me for not taking
The vaccine
Yo what up Dan
Yo hey what's up Brian
That's good
Yo am I interrupting you are you busy
Nah I'm chilling dude
Hey listen I'm doing a podcast with my friend
Right
Nice
And you're on right now
If you don't want to say anything that's okay
Okay so we're talking about
Flat Earth
And I know that you're into this
Yes
And I was wondering if maybe
You might be able to give us your perspective
On why you believe in Flat Earth Theory
Okay
Well
It has to do with
Observing
Right so
I observe
The natural reality
Around me
I pour a glass of water
Into
A cup
And it's
It finds its level right
Water always finds its level
And
Flat Earth is a
Bunch of water
And like that
It's got to be level right
And then if you
If you look
With a
Telescope
On the beach
You look at a
At a
Ship going over the horizon
You can
Zoom in on it again
With the
Telescope
Where it should be disappearing
Yeah
And
I've never
Like I don't know because
You can't really see the curve from anywhere
Commercial airline
Planes
Fly at 35,000 feet
And apparently
Scientists say that
The closest that you can see the Earth's curve
Would be 150,000 feet
So
So you'd have to be at 150,000
Feet to see
To see the actual
Curvature
Yeah
I mean but they
There's the International Space
Station sees it
You know? Yeah
I don't have to look into it more
But
I'm pretty sure
If you use a
Hot air balloon
It'll
Only go up so high
It
There's like some kind of
Something happens at like
Certain height and they can only go to like
80,000 feet I believe
So
They pop after that?
Not entirely sure about the satellites
They could be real
You know?
I think satellites are fake
Honestly
They could be balloons of some kind
Like they're definitely out there
You know what I mean? Like they're definitely out there
Yeah I mean
I've seen them
I've seen Starlink
I've seen those satellites
I've seen the train of them
But
So
The thing about the Flat Earth though is like
If you're a man of
The scientific method
And
I'm a flat earther
And
You come to me
Telling me that the Earth
Is a ball
And I give you
My experiment which would be the water
Right?
And you tell me that it's spinning and I'm like
Well we're not
Observing any of this
So I ask you to conduct
An experiment to
Prove your extraordinary
Claim
And
The experiment needs to be recreated
I believe for it to be like a factual
Scientific method
Process
To my knowledge there really isn't
Any
Actual experiments that you can do to prove that we're
On a
Globe that's like spinning and all that kind of stuff
Right
There's misconceptions of
The Borealis
I think it's called the Borealis
What do you call it?
Spin or something?
I'm not entirely sure what it's called but basically
Oh the Coriolis Effect
What is it?
Yeah the Borealis Effect
Like I'm a sniper
You got a sniper right?
And he's gonna shoot somebody from like
A mile away
They do not like
Do any calculations
For any spinning of the Earth
Or anything like that
But I mean
Okay yeah that's a good point
Even though
That's like something that like
People are kind of confused on
Like people think that like
If you're in Australia
That the water will be in a different
Flowing direction and it might be
But it is not because the water
Is like
At a like upside down or anything like that
You know what I mean? Like uh
It actually is just basically like the way that the
The toilet bowl is made
Or something like that
Oh so like they say that the vortex on the
When you flush the toilet
Is in the opposite direction
Exactly like that is not a
That is not a real like observable
Like real thing it's not uh
It's not a real thing
So
Damn I mean you know the thing that I would
Think though like if you look out and you look at Jupiter
Jupiter's round
You know I've seen that with a telescope
The moon is round
So I don't
Think it's like implausible
That the Earth is round you know what I mean?
It's not entirely
It's not entirely implausible and like
I'm still waiting for someone to show me the curve
Um
And I'm open to it
But um
But until okay so I see what you're saying
So the planets though
So like the planets to me
Seem like they might be
A luminary of some kind
And they're not actually like
Material things
Like they might be lights emitting
Energy into our
Reality
Could the planets also be
Flat?
Well that's a possibility right?
Well I believe that they're more like light energy
Kind of like they're more like a
Almost like stars themselves
Where like they will
They have an energy
That's being brought to our
Realm and like it
Pretty much
Of some kind yeah
Damn
That's out there but
I mean I'm definitely
I'm not opposed to that either
Look I'm open minded and
You know this is why we
Called because we want a different
Perspective on this you know
So
But
No this is dude this is
This is really good stuff it's really interesting
Um I mean
So what you're saying with the
Flatter thing is that
You're not opposed
To the idea that the earth is round you're just
Saying I need more proof
Pretty much yes
That's a really level headed way to go about it
Yeah it's like religion right?
Yeah
Believing in God you need more proof
Exactly it's like not that you don't
Like think that God is real
I mean I don't but
It might sound ridiculous
But the like anecdotal
Like things
Like
Not being able to go to Antarctica on your own free will
Um
You know what I mean like I
Find it impossible for
Me or anyone
That's not like a high level
Elite to be able to
Just go to Antarctica
And like explore it because they'll
Tell you and it is probably
Factual but like
You need special permits
People haven't really
Oh
Oh dad
Damn we lost
We lost the call we're calling back here
Oh shit the government
The government doesn't want us to know
About the flat earth
Oh shit
Yo
Dude
Just when we're getting to the bread and butter and the meat and the potatoes
Of this
They don't have many bars in Montana so
Wow
We started talking about the government
And all of a sudden
Your call
To not be completed
Damn
We gotta call Brian back
We gotta get to the bottom of this
This was enlightening information
Well I mean
Dude the planets are light emitting
Objects that's I've never heard
This that's I could definitely see where he was going
With that yeah I mean how do they
Prove it how do they prove that
They are what they say oh it's made of
Hydrogen gas and this gas and that
Gas it's like you don't know you don't know
What it is you can't reach out and touch it
It's like the government could tell you
That but it's not necessarily
True
Right so like
Even if like
The earth was flat the government
Was still watching to believe it's around
Like if that's all you tell
If that's all you ever tell anybody that's what they
Pass on to their like children
Dude what if
The planets are way
Fucking closer but smaller
Than they say they are right
And they're already
Like they say they're made of gas
And all this stuff but they're already
Like colonized
Right and they just they just wanna
Have like the and they're actually like
Paradises right and they actually
Just wanna have this for their children
And their families and they wanna deprive
The rest of the world of it
It's like you go to like say Jupiter
Is actually it's they want you
To think it's millions of miles away
But it's actually only like
Five hundred miles away
And it's just like really small
But it's like Nantucket of space
You know what I mean
And it's like they already
Went there like fucking
Fifty years ago
I thought I just saw a hat man over there
Are you fucking with me
No that's fine
You really think you saw something
No that's fine
Damn I just gotta chill out my spine bro
I think we should call Brian back
Well yeah if the government lets you
Alright let's see
What do you think they're gonna let us or no
No I don't think the CIA wants us
Exactly
Fuck you
Fuck the CIA
Stop blocking our calls
I gotta I gotta
I gotta call the government
That's crazy
How do you know some dude from Montana
Oh he used to live here
Dude I can't
Send any text messages to him either
Dude what
Dude this is crazy
We started talking about how you're not allowed
To go to Antarctica
Because the government will stop you and then
Boom so hold on I gotta do a test
Here I'm gonna call you
Yeah
Oh yeah it's working
It's working
Wow
That's it
Wow dude I'm worried
I'm worried for his safety
That's alright we're still recording so I don't think they shut down too much
Your call cannot be completed
Wow
That's fucking wild bro
Unless I go to upload it and it's like this download cannot be completed
Dude I haven't talked to him in so long
The CIA is trying to fuck you
Yeah that's exactly what's happening
Let me see if I can get a hold of him on
Facebook and tell him
We're having technical difficulties here
Because the government
Because you know
The CIA likes to interject
I said hey dude the government shut down our phone calls
Our phone call
Yeah bro
But I mean I guess he's just saying that he's
He's
Open minded
He's a flat earther but he's saying that
It's only because he doesn't have more proof
But you don't have proof
About a lot of things
But you still believe them
Like you
You believe that when you
Sit in a chair it won't just collapse under you
Because you know things are made of solid
Wood
Right and uh
I mean I think I have enough proof that the earth is around
You've been up in planes right?
Yeah but I've never seen the curvature of the earth from the plane
You can see the curvature of the earth from the ocean
From the beach
Are you sure?
Yeah you can see
Like you can see like a ship drop off the face of the earth
That's because it's curved
But I mean you could easily test this for yourself
If you just decided to
Circumnavigate the globe
Right
And that's all it would take
Yeah I guess
You would just only have to circumnavigate
And then it would prove it
Only one person has to do it
Or you just go up in the international space station
And see that the earth is round
Right but
Only you could today
You could start a journey to figure out
If the earth is actually round
Did you hear about the guy that went up in the rocket on his own?
No
And he died
He built a rocket in his backyard
He launched it before
Like it's a rocket he gets inside of
Because he wanted to go up high enough to see if the earth was actually round
Well he gets the Charles Darwin award
Yeah
There's like a 71 year old man
Hold on I'm gonna fix this
There's like a 71 year old man in Death Valley
Who died this week from heat stroke
From like trying to hike across it
Like 125 degrees
Damn
71 years and that's the stupidest thing you've done in death
Yeah how big is Death Valley?
Oh
I think it's like a desert
In eastern California
Southeastern California
Probably like
A hundred miles
Oh my god
Dude too bad he didn't have like a warning
Of some sort like
I don't know like maybe
Like a sign that said warning
Extreme heat stroke you will die
Or like you're now entering Death Valley
You know
That would help
Damn
Yeah there's some pretty dumb ways to go man
There used to be that show
What is it like a hundred ways to die
Yeah a thousand ways to die
A thousand ways to die
One of them was this girl
These kids got high on LSD
And they decided
To go swimming so they jumped in their
Fucking swimming pool
Except it was like
March or something and the pool didn't have any water
So they cracked
They cracked their heads on the bottom of it
Jesus Christ
I just remember that one
Yeah that's pretty
That's pretty ridiculous
I mean but drugs will do that
I feel like I've done stuff like that when I'm
I was drunk
A lot of petty theft when I was drunk
When I used to drink
A lot of like traffic cones
A lot of like produce
Like from like farms
You were a produce thief?
I stole some pumpkins you know
Like from a farm
The pumpkin thief
It was actually it wasn't like
From the farm it was
It was like from a bar and it had pumpkins out
For like Halloween
And so I just loaded them up on the roof rack of my truck
I was drunk
Not when I drove though
I was drunk when I loaded them up on top of my car
And then the next morning I drove away with them
And I drove the entire way home
And it wasn't like they weren't secure
I was sitting on my roof rack
Did you have a good use for them?
I had no use for them no
But it got a bunch of free pumpkins
That was cool
What's the dumbest thing you've done when you're drunk?
I was talking about like pissing down a stairwell one time
Remember that?
Uh wait
It was the first time I got drunk and I was like pissing
Woke up pissing down a stairwell
In somebody's house?
No in like a dorm
Oh damn
That's pretty rough
Who was it that was saying that they pissed on a computer or something?
A computer?
I don't know
Tyler?
I think it might have been Tyler
I don't think he would have done that
He would have done some dumb stuff
When I would drink
There's like uh
I think I told this story before about how I
Passed out in the bathroom
And then one guy came in to like
To like help me
Yeah that must have been a different time
Than the one you told us about
Why? Which one did I say before?
Uh you said you were at like a concert
Oh yeah yeah
21st birthday
So they were like partying with the Mexicans
Oh yeah
No this
This time um
I was uh I was at the bar with my friends
And uh
I dude
I used to have a problem with Red Bull and vodka
That used to be my shit
And I'd always go out with an empty stomach
So by the second one I was like
Toasted right?
And uh
Yeah so I just downed two Red Bull and vodkas
Went to the bathroom
And uh
Fucking passed out in the bathroom
And this dude comes in
And he's like started making a ruckus
He's like oh there's dude passed out in the fucking bathroom here
Dude passed out on the floor
And then my buddy comes in
He's like oh it's my friend we're gonna take him home
Like he's fine
And he's like get away from him
I'm a marine I'm a marine get back
And it's like dude
What does that have anything to do with like
Anything
That's like a good thing to know when
You're in a fight with like
People from the middle east
Like that's a good time to have a marine
But a drunk dude in a bathroom
Like that has nothing to do with you
Well I'm a little hunker for that
That has nothing to do with you being a marine
So uh
Anyway my buddy dragged me out
Dragged me out to his brother's car
And gets me in the car
And uh
The guy was like still fighting
Like they were fighting over my body
For some reason
Like this marine like really wanted to like
I don't know uh so
Anyway my buddy gets me in his brother's car
And we're going down the road
And he had a nice BMW
Threw up all over
The fucking door of the car
All over it we were trying to roll down the window
But just couldn't get it down in time
And fucking puked all over dude
No man
That's awful
Well you sound like you got a lot of stories
So does Ali Mack it's alright
Yeah yeah
Yeah that's why I don't drink anymore
Yeah it happens
So
Did you ever go to AA meetings?
No no absolutely not
Luckily it didn't become habitual
I was more of a binge drinker
Like just like
Wouldn't do it for a long time and then just would go fucking crazy
No
It's like why do I have to like
Give myself up to a higher power
What do you mean?
Well that's like the second
The second step right? You have to like
Accept that there's a higher power in AA
Oh
And then you have to like turn yourself
Over to the higher power
Is that how it goes? Yeah
It's like a religious thing
Pull up the 12 steps I wanna see what they are
Oh shit I never actually looked at this
12 steps
Uh
One, we admitted we were
Powerless over alcohol that our lives
Had become unmanageable
Two, commit came to believe
A power greater than ourselves could
Restore us to sanity
Three, made a decision to
Turn our will and our lives over to the
Care of God as we understood him
Made a search and
Fearless moral inventory of ourselves
Uh
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to
Other human beings, the exact nature
Of our wrongs
We entirely, we're entirely ready
To have God remove all these deficits
Or defects of character
Humbly asked him to remove
Our shortcomings, this is all like
Jesus shit
Made a list of people that we harmed
And became willing to make amends to them
Made direct amends to such
People whenever possible except
To do so would injure them
Or others, continued to take
Personal inventory
And whenever we were wrong, promptly admitted it
Uh, sought through prayer
And meditation to approve
Our conscience, contact with God
As we understood him, praying
Only for knowledge of his will
And for us and the power to carry that out
I feel like we need Tyler
Here for this one
And then the last one, having
Had a spiritual awakening
As a result of these steps, we tried to carry
This message to alcoholics
And to practice these principles
In all our affairs
Dude, it's such a rough drug, man
Like, it really gets people, man
Yeah, cause it's basically like a benzo
Yeah
I mean, you're better off with benzos
Benzo, stand up
Honestly
God
Um, I'm lucky
I'm happy that was just never
My drug of choice
My thing was always like, stimulants
I mean, I've got like, I abuse stimulants
But I mean like caffeine, you know
I much prefer caffeine to alcohol
I just don't like
I don't want to feel like that
I don't want to feel depressed the next day
I don't want to, um
I mean, I like the anxiolytic effects
But I don't like
You have inhibition for a reason
You know what I mean? Right
Like, you don't want too much of it
Everybody's always trying to relieve it a little bit
But, um
You know, I've seen people
That even do prescription drugs
Certain prescription drugs
And that natural inhibition that's supposed to exist
That's supposed to stop you from doing stupid things
Shuts it right off
And they just start acting like
Just doing stupid stuff
You know
And, you know, you don't want to
Get rid of it
You want it there, but you just want to like
Just turn it down a little bit
You know, you just want to turn down the volume on it
But you don't want to shut it off
Because it's completely necessary
And alcohol just shuts it off
Yeah
I think that's why a lot of people like it
Yeah
Most of my criminal acts took place
Under the influence of alcohol
That's why we've got to bring back prohibition
I think people should
You know what?
I think that people should be allowed to have it
But only certain quantities
So the quantity of alcohol
You're allowed to have should be controlled
Oh
So you can have a six pack a night if you want
But you can't buy
I think they should limit beer to six packs
That should be a good idea
Why do you need anything more than that?
And then people say, oh well
You know, what if I want some for tomorrow and the day after that
Well, it's just going to be
Just a minor inconvenience
For you to stop at the store and get more
But then like, you have people that are alcoholics
That are going to try to get
From their friends
They'll try to get it no matter how
Which way
Whichever way they can get it
Well, let them
Dude, if you need more than
Six beers in a night
You're in a bad kind of way
Do you think
If you drank six beers you'd be pretty lit, right?
Yeah
I don't think anybody needs more than six beers
Oh yeah
And then liquor, it's like
You know
That should be also a controlled quantity
Should be a controlled substance
That's what I think. Alcohol should be a controlled substance
It's more dangerous than a lot of
Controlled substances
It's way more dangerous
That's it, you just got to control the quantity
Oh man
Alright, well
We'll wrap up this bonus
Content
You know, as always
Like us on Facebook
Untitleds podcast 73
At gmail.com
We should have checked the emails
No, I know
We haven't
Gotten one email
But
My eyes are opened
On the flat earth by the way
That was mind opening
Shout out Brian
But dude, we gotta get Brian
We gotta get him on here
Actually, next time he's
In town, we ought to just have him here
Oh yeah
I think he was thinking about starting his own podcast
But he can start here
We can be your guest on that podcast
Oh, hell yeah, absolutely
I'm going to text him that
We'll just completely ruin it
Alright, thanks for listening
And as always, be kind to yourselves
And each other
Yeah
For all we know
Robots have souls
We just don't know if they do or don't
How do you know?
Have you ever been a cyborg or a robot?
You think we were the first ones
To inhabit this planet?
Fuck no
No, no
We are jumping down this fucking rabbit hole
Yes, we are
There's people out there with some really dumb thoughts
Extended
Episodes
Where the fuck did the pyramids come from?
Where the fuck did Stonehenge come from?
You're telling me that they didn't die and become ghosts?
Oh, they're killing
They're killing all the already born babies
And sell them to the Chinese
Aliens exist
Somewhere in China
In some base
There are super soldiers that are at least 9 or 10 feet tall
Anthropoclesatrum
They have dread from our planet
And extraterrestrials
They are aliens
I do not recognize the eight-foot pair
On a fucking massive round
Shit
Aaaaaaaah
We gotta go to the fucking moon
Because JFK
JFK got assassinated
By the fucking government
We got killed by the CIA
JFK was killed by the government
Before my eyes
While holding their pulse
Feel them die of this virus
You feel bump bump bump
Nothing, they're fucking gone
I've seen it happen
I think that the government has
Taken it to the next level with the birds
They know what birds are going to cross
Caps with you that you are going to be able to raise
And they are going to make them so
Fucking real, they're going to sink money into them
Because they know that if you put that motherfucker in a cage
They're going to be able to convince you that thing is fucking real
You can cut it open, you're going to see blood guts
No circuitry, but let me tell you
Their technology, it's absolutely violent
Which by the way, big brother
Is the overlord too
We're only living in the third dimension
HOOOOOOP!
George Soros is an actual Nazi collaborator
Okay?
I'm not fucking lying
It's fucking real
Okay? Look it up
Look it up, he says
That he was doing this shit
George Soros actually worked with the fucking Nazis
During the Holocaust
He says that he was doing it just to survive
But he fucking loved it
He was having a great fucking time doing this shit
George Soros is the fucking devil
Okay? He's not fucking doing this shit
George Soros is fucking evil
He's the actual fucking ringleader for all this shit
He's fucking fucked down a whole bunch of shit
Just don't fucking get it
Everybody's like
Donald Trump's the fucking word person out there
Fuck Trump, right?
Fuck Trump! He's not the actual fucking leader
It's George Soros, it's Bill Gates
It's fucking Elon Musk
It's everyone out there, everybody says
Elon Musk is so cool
Everybody, you're saying
Elon Musk is so cool, he made like a place for us
He's the actual government
He's just trying
The actual true government
Which is George Soros and all the fucking Nazis
Who are actually the ones that are controlling the fucking Holocaust
The clear policies are paid off by the fucking bill makers
The pain fucking costs
Thanks for watching!