Welcome to Students Incorporated. I'm your host,
Mr. Jason. Join me weekly as my students and
I bring you content that's informative, positive,
fun, and uplifting. This podcast is created and
produced with the help of students from the International
Community School of Bangkok. Okay, quick show
of hands, even though I can't see you. How many
times this week have you pulled out your phone
and pretended to be fascinated by an old message
or just randomly looked up something to avoid
an awkward moment with somebody else? Or how
about the unwritten law that says you will always
manage to pick the slowest checkout line at the
store? These invisible scripts guide our lives.
They're the unspoken rules that everyone seems
to know but no one ever actually talks about.
From how long you're allowed to make eye contact
with a stranger to the right way to stand in
an elevator, we're all following rules we never
really learned. Or did we? They're funny, they're
relatable, and frankly, they're a little strange
sometimes. And today, we are pulling back the
curtain on all of them, or at least the ones
we can talk about. We're having a lighthearted
conversation about the unspoken rules that shape
our lives. We also have a group of students joining
us to discuss the hilarious and unusual rules
that follow their everyday lives. But first,
before we jump into our first segment with our
students, let's hear our quote of the day and
get some headline news. Our quote of the day
comes from James Clear, who said, Some rules
don't need to be written down. They survive because
everyone understands the cost of breaking them.
This quote by James Clear highlights how social
norms and unspoken expectations shape our behavior
just as strongly as formal rules do. Even without
being explicitly stated, these unwritten rules,
like waiting your turn, respecting personal space,
or showing gratitude, hold power. Because people
instinctively know that breaking them can lead
to social tension or loss of trust. Which is
why unspoken rules are more significant than
you would expect. And that's our quote of the
day. Now on to some headline social norm news.
Thank you for the quote of the day. Now, here's
some headline news related to social norms and
unwritten rules. Our first headline comes from
Forbes, which reports that 60 % of employees
say unwritten rules in the workplace cause miscommunication
and disconnection. highlighting how many organizations
expect staff to follow behavioral codes that
are never formally laid out. Experts point out
that these informal rules often govern everything
from email etiquette to decision -making, hierarchies,
and failing to understand them can affect promotions,
team dynamics, and overall job satisfactions.
Our second headline comes from NIC, where it
is revealed that Gen Z workers are hiring etiquette
coaches to master the unwritten rules of the
office, as they struggle with norms around professionalism,
office communication, and appropriate behavior
in open plan environments. The trend reflects
a growing awareness that succeeding at work is
not just about skills, but also about understanding
subtle social cues, networking practices and
expectations that are never really included in
employee manuals. Our third headline and the
very last one comes from a Swedish university.
Collaborating in a global study that finds everyday
norms have become more permissive over time and
differ across cultures. Yet a large degree of
consistency remains in the unwritten social rules
people follow worldwide. The research highlights
examples like cueing behavior, greetings, and
personal space, showing that while societies
evolve, many unspoken expectations continue to
guide interactions in predictable ways, even
without formal enforcement. And that is our headline
news about social norms. Thank you for the quote
in the headline news. Before we start asking
some of our student guest questions, I want to
talk a little bit about some of those social
norms that people have to learn, sometimes the
easy way and sometimes the hard way. There are
a lot of social norms about eating, personal
hygiene, and other behaviors people exhibit.
Some things are acceptable in public, and some
things are definitely not. James, I have to ask,
does one come to mind for you? Elevator etiquette.
The unspoken rule of when you are in an elevator
is that you are supposed to face the doors, not
the back or side walls. Otherwise, people may
think you're trying to hide from something or
someone. For me, it's all about personal space,
especially in a conversation. It's that awkward,
close to talk dance. You know, when someone stands
just a few inches too close to you and you take
a little step back and they take a step forward.
Or the unspeakable rule of coughing or sneezing.
You have to cover your mouth, preferably with
your elbow. If you just let it fly, it's a major
social violation. Yes, and the social rules and
manners about eating. We teach kids not to eat
with their mouth open, but it's an unspoken rule
for adults. No one has a rule book for it, but
if you do it at a dinner table, everyone notices.
And it's not just how you eat, but when you eat.
Like the rule about waiting for everyone to be
served or sit down before you start eating. It's
a sign of respect that's not written down anywhere,
but you're judged if you break it. Oh, and don't
forget the double dip rule. Has anyone ever announced
it's forbidden to double dip your chips twice?
No, but if you see someone do it at a party or
get together, it's a major social foul. Or even
just taking a fry off someone else's plate. That's
not just breaking a rule. That sounds grounds
for ending a friendship. That's pretty extreme,
but yeah, that is a major foul. Double dipping
or stealing fries off your friend's plate. And
it extends everywhere. Think about driving. It's
full of unspoken rules. Who gets to merge when
a lane ends? The thank you wave when someone
lets you in? Or flashing your headlights to warn
oncoming traffic? None of that is in the official
driver's manual, but it's the language we all
use to get around without chaos. It's fascinating
how we all navigate these rules without a manual,
and that's exactly what we want to talk about
with our guest today. We brought in a group of
students to get their take on the unspoken rules
they deal with every day. James and Esther will
be asking a variety of different students about
some unspoken rules they deal with every week
at school. Go ahead and get us started, James.
Alright, first up we have Midnight. Here's our
question for you. Every student has multiple
teachers they interact with on a daily basis.
What's an example of an unspoken rule that may
exist in a classroom? Oh, okay. So this is not
a rule that is stuck across rooms, but it's a
rule that students need to learn. And it's that
some teachers will let you sleep in class and
they will not care. And then some other teachers
will wake you up. Thank you, Midnight. Next up,
we have Yosef. Let's talk about reputation. Every
school has those small things that instantly
change how people see you. What's an unspoken
rule about how to stay socially safe at school?
Things you just don't do if you want to keep
your reputation. Not trying too hard to impress
people, as that is what I believe drives away
people the most. Other than that, I think if
you just stay true to yourself, then you should
be fine and find people who really relate to
you and stick with you throughout life. Thank
you, Yosa. Next up, we have Unruh. There are
tons of unspoken rules about being online. So,
what's an unspoken rule about texting or replying
in group chats? One unspoken rule about texting
in group chats is not tagging everyone at nighttime
and to add people without asking people in the
group chat. Lastly, one last unspoken rule is
asking random questions that is not related to
the head topic. Thank you, Eunwoo. Next, we have
Robin. When you're trying to hang out with friends,
somehow... The same few people always end up
planning everything. Is there an unspoken rule
about who plans hangouts and who just shows up?
I think there's definitely an unspoken rule when
it comes to hangouts. There's always that one
person who plans everything while everyone else
just shows up. It's not that people don't want
to hang out, it's just how the group dynamic
usually ends up. But it can feel a little one
-sided when the same person is always organizing
things. It's nice when others show some effort
or excitement too, so it feels more balanced.
Thanks, Robin. And next up, we have John. This
next unspoken rule is about relationships or
ex -relationships. Some may call it a bro code.
What's the unspoken rule about liking someone
else's ex's post or commenting too soon after
a breakup? There's kind of an unspoken rule to
give it time. Liking or commenting on someone's
ex's post too soon after a breakup can look insensitive
or like you're taking a side. It's usually best
to wait until things have cooled off before interacting
publicly. Thank you, John, and thank you all
for those answers. This is fascinating. What
I'm hearing is that these rules are everywhere.
From the classroom with Midnight's teacher code,
to friendships with Robin's planner rule, to
the digital world with John's breakup buffer.
It's clear these rules are the secret instruction
manual for our social lives. And it actually
inspired our team to put together a list. James,
Esther, you were working on a sort of top 10
list of these everyday social norms. So what
do you have? We were working on that. So here's
what we got. And based on what our guest just
said, we're calling this list the top 10 unspoken
rules of school social life. Esther, start us
off with number 10. Number 10, the hallway nod.
You must acknowledge the acquaintance with a
quick nod or smile. Ignoring them is a social
crime. Number nine, the lunch table rule. You
can't just sit at any table. Every table has
an invisible reserve sign and you have to know
where you fit. Number eight, the reply all rule.
In a group chat, you don't have one -on -one
conversation that everyone else is forced to
watch. Take it to your DMs. Number seven, the
social media lag. You can't like a new acquaintance's
photo from 52 weeks ago. It's called deep stalking
and it's creepy. Number six, the planner's burden.
Just like Robin said, the person who plans the
hangout should not have to be the only one who
chases everyone for money. Number five, the reputation
rule, which Joseph pointed out. Trying too hard
to be cool is the single most uncool thing you
can do. Number four, the teacher code. Just like
Midnight said, you can instantly adapt your personality
to match the vibe of the teacher you're talking
to. Number three, the breakup buffer, which John
just mentioned. You must wait an appropriate,
unstated amount of time before publicly interacting
with a friend's ex. Number two, the front row
rule. Don't sit in front row of class if you're
just going to be on your phone the whole time.
It's so disrespectful. And the number one unspoken
rule of school social life, the read -receipt
panic. If you read a message, you have an invisible
deadline to reply, and every minute you wait
adds more social pressure. Okay, that is a brilliant
top 10 list, so thank you. The read receipt panic
is all too real. We have to take a short break
now, but when we come back, we're going to hear
more from our student guests right after this
short PSA announcement. Ever feel like you're
having a great conversation, but the person you're
with keeps glancing at their screen? We've all
been there. It's the 21st century unspoken rule.
the phone must go away. It's so easy to let our
devices take over, but true connection happens
when we put them down. Challenge yourself this
week. When you're grabbing coffee with a friend
at the dinner table or just hanging out, commit
to putting your phone on silent and face down,
or better yet, leaving it in your pocket. It's
a small, simple choice that sends a huge message.
You are important. This moment is important.
Stop scrolling and start connecting. Give the
people around you the gift of your full attention.
And we are back with our student guest. And just
before the break, we were digging into the top
10 unspoken rules of school social life. Now
we want to go even deeper into the rules that
define our daily interactions. The new ones,
the ones we break, and the ones that are just
plain weird. Welcome, Vinaj. Let's start with
you. Every generation has its own language of
unspoken rules. There are many, but one that
relates a lot to me is the desire to text rather
than call. For us, calls can feel intrusive or
too formal, while texting feels quicker and more
natural. Older generations often see calls as
more personal, but for us, texting is just how
we connect day to day. And sometimes you don't
realize you've broken one of these invisible
rules until it's too late. Josiah, have you ever
realized you broke an unspoken rule without even
knowing it exists? Oh yeah, one I can think of
off the top of my head is when I moved to Thailand,
I disgustingly wore my shoes inside the house.
Thankfully, I quickly changed my ways and no
longer wear shoes inside. Alright, let's lighten
things up a bit because some unspoken rules are
so ridiculous, they're actually kind of hilarious.
This question is for Fonda. What's an unspoken
rule everyone breaks but pretends they don't?
An unspoken rule everyone breaks is shaking our
phone during class, even though we're not supposed
to. We all pretend we're just shaking the time,
but really, we're just texting or scrolling for
a bit. Okay, moving on. Food is another big one.
Somehow, sharing fries has its own moral code.
Senzen, what's an unspoken rule about food, like
sharing fries or not eating the last piece of
something? An unspoken rule about food is who
gets the last piece. When you're with a bunch
of people and there's one slice of pizza left,
do you just leave it alone or what if you're
still hungry? Can you ask to eat it? And if you
ever dare to break one, you know the reactions
can be unpredictable. Vijay's up next. Have you
ever broken an unspoken rule on purpose? And
what happened? Yes, I have. The unspoken rule
that I decided to break was checking my phone
while somebody else was talking. But I only do
this with my close friends to rage bait them.
They got quite angry with me, but it was kind
of funny for a bit. Okay, that is interesting.
Okay. And finally, pun. If you could erase one
unspoken rule from student life, what would it
be? Hmm, maybe one of the bro codes for the urinals
in the male restroom that we have to keep the
greatest distance between the person who is using
the urinal first. So sometimes it really makes
me anxious to choose which urinal I should go
for. Though it also makes sense why we have this
unspoken rule because I find it hard as well
to go sometimes when I am sandwiched between
two dudes. Well, I still think it'd be nice to
erase this rule. at least in our school, because
you simply don't have time to wait and choose
which urinal to choose when you're running between
classes with only five minutes to be ready in
time. Wow, Pun, thank you for that perfectly
honest and funny answer. It's the perfect example
of a norm that feels totally absurd, but also
apparently necessary for guys. And a huge thank
you to all of our guests. You've really shown
us how these rules cover everything from our
digital lives to who gets the last fry and how
to use the restroom. It seems like the perfect
time to wrap up with our final list. James and
Esther, you have one more top 10 list for us.
We do. After all this great discussion, we're
calling this one the top 10 unspoken rules of
our digital modern life. James, will you kick
us off with number 10? Of course. Number 10,
the story spam rule. Don't post so many Instagram
stories in a row that they just look like a bunch
of tiny dots on your page. Actually, that is
kind of annoying. Number 9, the fake. booking
ban. You're not allowed to post. Worst day ever.
Just to make people ask you, oh my god, what's
wrong? Yeah, it's kind of annoying when that
happens. Number eight, the headphone signal.
If someone has headphones in, that is the universal
do not disturb sign. Do not interrupt them unless
it's an emergency. 7. Which Simpson mentioned,
the last slice standoff. Whether it's a pizza
or cake, the last piece on the plate does not
belong to anyone. It must be offered and politely
refused at least twice before it can be claimed.
I always end up wanting to ask for it, but you
know, I don't do it. 6. The text before you call
rule. You do not just call someone out of the
blue. You send a text first like, Yo, you free
for a quick call? Number five, the screenshot
betrayal. You do not screenshot a private conversation
and share it with other people. It's an ultimate
digital break of trust. Yes, totally. You cannot
do that to your friends. Okay, number four, the
email via chat rule. If it's urgent, it's a chat.
If it's official, it's an email. And never ever
reply all to a company -wide email just to say,
thanks. Number three, the emoji vibe check. You
must understand that a thumbs up emoji can be
seen as a passive aggressive choose your emojis
wisely for sure number two the digital payment
rule you must pay your friend back immediately
but it is also an unspoken rule not to send a
payment request for something tiny like one dollar
and Number 1. Unspoken rule of our digital modern
life, which connects right to our PSA, the fubbing
rule. Fubbing is phone snubbing. When you are
with people in real life, you give them your
attention. Don't be the person staring at your
screen ignoring everyone else. Okay, thank you
so much for that top 10 list. That list is spot
on, especially that text before you call rule.
So thank you. And a final huge thank you to all
of our student guests today for being so open
and honest with us. These unspoken rules, whether
they're in the hallway, in a group chat, or at
the urinal, are the secret language of our lives.
They're how we build community, show respect,
and as we've heard, sometimes just make things
hilariously awkward. We've learned today that
our lives are governed by a massive, invisible
instruction manual. From who gets the last fry
to how you stand in an elevator, these unspoken
rules are the secret language we use to show
respect, build community, and as we heard, make
things just a little bit awkward sometimes. A
huge thank you to my co -hosts James and Esther,
and a very special thank you to all of our student
guests for being so open and sharing your experiences
with us. And of course, thank you for listening.
If you enjoyed our conversation, please make
sure you're subscribed wherever you get your
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also follow us on Instagram at Students Incorporated.
We'll be back next time with a brand new topic.
So until then, pay attention to the rules you
can't see. And as always, this podcast would
not be possible without the hard work and support
of our international student production team.
All music and sound effects are courtesy of Pixelway
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we're signing off. Until next time, we're Students
Incorporated, because your voice matters.