1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,920 My name's Gregg. 2 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:02,320 I'm one of the pastors here. 3 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,600 I would love to have a coffee with you or a soda 4 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,240 or whatever your preference and talk about your life, 5 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,240 get to know you a little bit. 6 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,880 If you wanna talk about Jesus, I love to talk about Jesus. 7 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:16,060 We are in our second to last week in the series 8 00:00:16,060 --> 00:00:18,360 that we've been calling Fully. 9 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,740 So far we have done Joyfully, Fruitfully, Prayerfully, 10 00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:26,320 Forgetfully, and you will not want to miss next week 11 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:30,560 because Eric Rao will be preaching Thankfully 12 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,320 on the Sunday before Thanksgiving. 13 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,440 Really looking forward to that. 14 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:38,620 But today I'm bringing a message that is called Tearfully. 15 00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:42,840 Now you may have not noticed or maybe you have 16 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,160 that the holidays are upon us. 17 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,720 Does anyone already have their Christmas tree up? 18 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,000 Yeah, all right, good. 19 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,800 Hey, good for you, man. 20 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,880 You're okay, all right. 21 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,160 So we've seen, we gotta start a club. 22 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,280 Go ahead and the early Christmas club is fine. 23 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,400 Thanksgiving is 11 days out. 24 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,960 Thanksgiving is 11 days out. 25 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,780 Anyone had pumpkin pie yet? 26 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,740 A month after that is Christmas, a week after that, 27 00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:13,920 New Year's, I might also mention 11 days after that, 28 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,080 my birthday. 29 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:20,080 For so many and rightfully so, this time of year is magical. 30 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,480 It is, it's beautiful. 31 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:30,560 There's so many times, days, events, opportunities 32 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,840 to create memories and to experience the magic 33 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,720 and beauty of what this time of year can be. 34 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:41,080 While for others, it is their most difficult season, 35 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:45,880 emotionally, mentally, because we have memories 36 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:50,880 of what we've lost, the people that we don't see anymore, 37 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,020 the traumas that we've experienced 38 00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:54,480 in the winters of our lives. 39 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,480 The truth is that for me, fall and winter 40 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,480 is the most difficult time of year 41 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,120 and is directly just related to things 42 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:06,080 that I experienced in that time of year. 43 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,880 But I know that I'm also not alone in that. 44 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,360 I'm not the only one that experiences this kind of thing 45 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,720 at this time of the year. 46 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,320 The American Psychological Association finds 47 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:19,560 that 38% of people say their stress increases 48 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,080 during the holidays. 49 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:23,660 The National Alliance of Mental Illness reports 50 00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:26,760 that 64% of people with mental illness say 51 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:30,000 that their conditions worsen around the holidays 52 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:35,000 and as much as 66%, two out of every three people you know 53 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:40,000 experience more loneliness during the holidays. 54 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:46,880 Sadness, depression, grief, they're all part of life 55 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,400 and not just our lives. 56 00:02:52,180 --> 00:02:55,440 When you read the Bible, you see grief and sorrow 57 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,640 and sadness all across the scriptures. 58 00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:02,580 Sadness cuts through the entire Bible. 59 00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:07,580 There's 150 Psalms, if you open up a physical Bible 60 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,680 right around the middle, you're gonna find the Psalms. 61 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,240 There's 150 of them. 62 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,360 There's lots of categories. 63 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:17,760 The largest category of Psalms are laments, 64 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,600 are songs of sadness. 65 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:26,520 And there's a reason for that because grief is universal. 66 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,560 Quick trivia question. 67 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:34,920 There are nearly 8,000 verses between Matthew, Mark, 68 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,500 Luke, and John. 69 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,280 How many of those verses describe Jesus laughing? 70 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:43,720 None. 71 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,480 There's no stories of him telling a joke. 72 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,600 There's no stories of him laughing. 73 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,120 We have TV depictions of a happy Christ 74 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,680 and I'm not saying that he was never happy. 75 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,240 Of course he was, he was human. 76 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,080 He experienced joy, he surely laughed. 77 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,360 But for some reason the scriptures did not find it 78 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,320 important to point that out to us. 79 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,360 But we have multiple stories of him weeping, 80 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:15,360 of him feeling deep compassion, being moved to grief. 81 00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:22,480 And for some reason the Gospels 82 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:27,480 found it worthy of including those. 83 00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:33,980 Maybe you've never heard it put this way before, 84 00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:36,380 but part of what makes Jesus perfect 85 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,400 is the inclusion of his emotions. 86 00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:46,460 Jesus did not carve sorrow out of the story. 87 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:51,460 He left his emotions on the pages of the Gospel 88 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,900 for the whole world to see. 89 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,740 So believing in Jesus, part of living fully 90 00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:06,740 is the experience and acceptance of grief, 91 00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:10,380 of sadness, and of sorrow. 92 00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:12,820 We are more like Jesus when we acknowledge, 93 00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:15,420 even honor the emotions that we feel 94 00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:17,860 in the darker days that we face. 95 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,540 So let's open up the scriptures 96 00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:26,260 and let's see what we might learn about being tearful. 97 00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,340 We're gonna open to Isaiah 53. 98 00:05:28,340 --> 00:05:31,380 Isaiah is in what's called the Hebrew scriptures 99 00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:32,620 of the Old Testament. 100 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,100 If you see Ecclesiastes, then Song of Solomon, 101 00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:39,040 then Isaiah, then Jeremiah, then Lamentations, 102 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,740 that's the neighborhood that you're looking for, okay? 103 00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:43,660 I'll be reading from what's called the NLT, 104 00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:45,300 the New Living Translation. 105 00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:46,220 If you don't have a Bible, 106 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,220 there are blue ones there on the tables 107 00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:50,420 that you can open up or download a Bible 108 00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:52,380 from any of the digital app stores. 109 00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:55,060 And we have a tradition of just giving the scriptures 110 00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:56,640 our full attention when we read them 111 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:58,860 as a part of the sermon or the message. 112 00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:01,660 One of the ways we can do that is by standing together 113 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:02,660 as we are able. 114 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:05,860 Otherwise, let's just give the scriptures our attention. 115 00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:10,860 Isaiah 53, starting in verse one, Isaiah 53. 116 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,540 Who has believed our message? 117 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:18,040 To whom has the Lord revealed his powerful arm? 118 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,780 My servant grew up in the Lord's presence 119 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:24,460 like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. 120 00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:27,700 There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, 121 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:30,060 nothing to attract us to him. 122 00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:32,340 He was despised and rejected, 123 00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:36,220 a man of sorrows acquainted with deepest grief. 124 00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:39,420 We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. 125 00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:42,320 He was despised and we did not care. 126 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:46,000 Yet it was our weaknesses he carried. 127 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,560 It was our sorrows that weighed him down. 128 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,840 And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, 129 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,720 a punishment for his own sins, 130 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,940 but he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. 131 00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:05,040 He was beaten so we could be whole. 132 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,880 He was whipped so we could be healed. 133 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,300 All of us like sheep have strayed away. 134 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,240 We have left God's path to follow our own, 135 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,760 yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all. 136 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:17,560 Let us pray. 137 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,040 God of every tribe, every tongue, every color, 138 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,160 and every nation, we thank you for the scriptures. 139 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,680 We thank you that they have persisted 140 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,600 throughout the millennia, 141 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,880 that we still have them to read, to consider, to learn from. 142 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,920 And whenever you have for us to learn today, 143 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,060 I ask that you help it stick, 144 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,960 that it would become a part of the framework of our faith, 145 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,860 that our faith would become stronger 146 00:07:45,860 --> 00:07:48,100 as we become more like your son Jesus. 147 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,640 Amen. 148 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,000 Amen, you can have a seat. 149 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:02,600 A man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. 150 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,940 The book of Isaiah was written around 700 years 151 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:08,400 before the birth of Jesus. 152 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,280 It is a description of what the Messiah 153 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,400 or messianic figure would be like, 154 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,120 and in Christianity, we have for thousands of years 155 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:22,440 looked at this scripture as a prophetic description 156 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,820 of what Jesus would be like. 157 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,080 And as you read it, it is undeniable 158 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,480 that his vulnerability is front and center. 159 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:36,480 700 years later, we see the emotions of a Messiah. 160 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:44,480 In John 11, 35, we see these emotions come out 161 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,380 when Jesus weeps for what I would call the inevitable. 162 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:56,200 John 11, 35 is the shortest verse in the whole Bible. 163 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,800 Those of you who know it, we'll just say it together, 164 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,520 one, two, three, Jesus wept, that's right. 165 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,120 Anyone who ever says, do you know any scripture, 166 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,800 you can say yes, right? 167 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:10,440 John 11, 35, Jesus weeps for something that is inevitable 168 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,840 because his good friend Lazarus had died 169 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,560 and was in the grave, and even though he planned 170 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:20,820 to raise him back to life, when he saw the pain 171 00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:23,980 that his sisters Mary and Martha were experiencing, 172 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,920 the pain that they were feeling, 173 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:28,280 even though he's gonna raise him to the dead, 174 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,240 that he could not help but weep. 175 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,200 I wonder if it's because he knew that death 176 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,200 in this world is inevitable, that even though 177 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,400 he would raise Lazarus from the dead, 178 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,620 that Lazarus would one day die again, 179 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,120 and that again, Mary and Martha would be in this position 180 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,120 of mourning the death of their family. 181 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,000 It's important for us to understand 182 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,920 that it is healthy to cry, that it is healthy 183 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:03,400 to weep, to mourn the inevitable, 184 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:07,500 and it's important to make space for that mourning. 185 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:14,240 Two weeks ago on November 1st, it was 23 years 186 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,460 since my grandpa Buddy died. 187 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,320 I would show you a picture of him, 188 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,760 but all you really have to do is look at me 189 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:26,320 and imagine me old and bald, and with blue eyes. 190 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:30,520 He had piercing blue eyes, but back then, 191 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,440 I was a youth pastor at a church, 192 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,020 and it was the first full-time church job 193 00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:39,100 that I'd ever had, and I'd been there for two months. 194 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,240 November 1st was a Thursday. 195 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,320 I went in on Friday and told my senior pastor, 196 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,400 my associate pastor, what had happened 197 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,420 that my grandfather had died, that the funeral 198 00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:53,200 would be the next week on Monday or Tuesday, 199 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,600 and they said, you'll still take the kids 200 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,360 on the retreat this weekend, right? 201 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:04,920 I was not old enough, wise enough, 202 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:09,920 or felt like I had enough equity to say no. 203 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,200 This is the space that should be set aside for mourning. 204 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:20,200 I do not remember anything about that weekend, 205 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,800 but I remember falling asleep in the front row 206 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:28,800 of my grandfather's funeral, because I was so tired 207 00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,540 from doing the work. 208 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:36,720 Mourning deserves its place. 209 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:41,720 Weeping, crying, diving in deserves its place. 210 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,880 I find no peace in saying that tragedies 211 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,220 and traumas are inevitable in this life, 212 00:11:55,600 --> 00:12:00,600 but if we do not weep, if we will not cry, 213 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:05,600 if we do not intentionally dive into the depth of sorrow, 214 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:11,600 if we do not learn to swim through the currents of grief, 215 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,020 in moments when we do not see it coming, 216 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,520 we might feel ourselves dragged down 217 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,560 to the places we have never swam before. 218 00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:25,680 Some of us have felt that, where we're suddenly hit 219 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:28,580 by an anchor pulling us deep and we don't know why, 220 00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:32,900 and upon deeper investigation we find it's because 221 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:35,900 we never swam through those waters when we were supposed to. 222 00:12:39,820 --> 00:12:44,820 So Jesus weeps in the inevitable, 223 00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:48,840 and Jesus sweeps in the avoidable. 224 00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:55,260 Luke 19, 41 through 44, is described what is commonly 225 00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:58,660 thought of as the triumphant entry. 226 00:12:58,660 --> 00:13:00,940 It's just before the Passover, 227 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:03,300 it's just before he would be handed over, 228 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:04,960 but there's a triumphant entry. 229 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,160 One of the gospels describes palms being laid down, 230 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,500 people singing Hosanna. 231 00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:16,700 What happens is that Jesus gets to the edge of Jerusalem 232 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:20,180 and I could put up a photo of where they would have been 233 00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:22,720 coming in and you get a good view of what Jerusalem looks 234 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,040 like from there and he's looking over it and it says 235 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,660 that he begins to weep and says, 236 00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:30,500 oh that you would have known the peace 237 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,120 that was brought to you today. 238 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:41,200 He weeps over the city because he knows they will reject 239 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,700 the peace that he is bringing. 240 00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:48,820 He loves them and it breaks his heart knowing that so much 241 00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:52,880 of their pain is avoidable. 242 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:56,100 Some of us have lost friends, family members, 243 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:57,900 because we have set our peace. 244 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,460 We have tried to help them avoid something 245 00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:05,420 that we believe to be avoidable. 246 00:14:07,420 --> 00:14:10,460 We do not know why or sometimes we know exactly why, 247 00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:11,860 but we see it coming. 248 00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:16,280 And then we've watched them wander into darkness 249 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,740 that was avoidable. 250 00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:21,620 Some loved ones that we have have watched us 251 00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:22,580 do the same thing. 252 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:28,840 And we can become hardened to the feelings that we have 253 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,360 when someone that we love is hurt by what we saw coming. 254 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:37,960 In those moments when people that we love are hurt 255 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,720 by the avoidable, we have to resist the leathering 256 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:42,960 of our souls. 257 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:47,960 We have to resist the leathering of our souls. 258 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,860 We have to resist the I told you so's. 259 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:57,120 And listen, there's probably nothing more honest 260 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,100 that I can say right now than to say I know how hard 261 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:04,600 that is because I am an I told you so kind of person. 262 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,380 I have to intentionally choose not to be. 263 00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:13,700 And I am not my best version when I am. 264 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:17,280 And when I am it is because I've let my heart get hard. 265 00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:21,780 It is not feeling the compassion that it should. 266 00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:26,580 And if we will not stay tender hearted, 267 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,700 then they will not feel welcome 268 00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:32,960 when they do decide to come home. 269 00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:38,660 So Jesus weeps in the inevitable. 270 00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:42,500 Jesus weeps in the avoidable and then Jesus grieves 271 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:44,940 at the unavoidable. 272 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,700 On the night that Jesus was betrayed 273 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,260 and handed over to death, he was praying 274 00:15:52,260 --> 00:15:55,560 in the garden of Gethsemane, asking the father 275 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,860 if there was any other way. 276 00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:01,940 Can this cup pass from me, but if not, your will be done. 277 00:16:01,940 --> 00:16:03,940 Can we avoid this? 278 00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,020 Can this be avoided? 279 00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:11,060 Is this really unavoidable? 280 00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:15,140 He told Peter, James and John, the three he had asked 281 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,500 to come pray with him that kept falling asleep 282 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:18,700 while he prayed. 283 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:23,700 He said my soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. 284 00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:27,380 And then at no fault of his own, 285 00:16:27,380 --> 00:16:30,040 he was despised and rejected. 286 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,740 His friends turned their back on him 287 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:32,780 and looked the other way. 288 00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:36,500 He carried our weakness, our sorrow, 289 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,380 weighed him down, he was beaten, whipped 290 00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,020 and pierced for our rebellion. 291 00:16:41,020 --> 00:16:43,480 He was crushed for our sins. 292 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:50,560 He did not grieve what he was giving us. 293 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:56,040 He was grieving how it had to be given. 294 00:16:56,040 --> 00:17:01,040 Everyone of us, maybe depending on our age 295 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,300 or the experiences that we have, 296 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:16,400 every one of us has experienced grief or sadness or sorrow. 297 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:23,680 So how do we participate with this? 298 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:28,680 How do we consider how to practice living with grief? 299 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:36,120 First is tears. 300 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:42,600 Did you know that we are the only animal on earth, 301 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,720 and I'm looking at my friend over here, 302 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,360 that he's like, he knows things about animals. 303 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:48,360 I have no idea why he knows so many things about animals. 304 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,280 Like if I said, hey, Jake, you got one minute right now, 305 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,440 he could just go on a diatribe about like lemurs 306 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:56,400 or something like that. 307 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:00,800 But did you know that we are the only animal on earth 308 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,640 that cries because of emotions? 309 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:08,280 It's common for animals to have tear ducts 310 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,920 that produce some kind of moisture 311 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:16,360 to clear their eyes of dust or things that get in them. 312 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,160 We've all probably been poked in the eye 313 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,000 and then what happened? 314 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,640 Your eye started to water. 315 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,400 You got dust in your eye. 316 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,760 It started to water. 317 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,280 These are all evolutionary designs that God has 318 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,680 for our bodies to deal with what can happen to our eyes 319 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,640 to protect our eyesight. 320 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:37,200 And all of the animals in the world also need to see, right? 321 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,480 And so they have mechanisms for that. 322 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,440 We are the only ones that cry because of emotions. 323 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:47,440 When you get something in here, tears help get it out. 324 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,760 And when you get something in here, 325 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,280 tears help it come out. 326 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:04,520 If you have actively stymied your sorrow, 327 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:09,000 you may need to set aside some time 328 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:14,000 to let out your tears. 329 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,720 I have an overseer, spiritual overseer 330 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,160 that went through the tragedy 331 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,080 of watching the pastor that he led 332 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:27,080 be caught in a sexual scandal to watch him fall 333 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,600 and then watch as he had to take his place 334 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,280 as the church figured out what to do. 335 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,280 And years later, as the church was about to close, 336 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,360 and years later as we talked about it, 337 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,440 he told me that he still has on his schedule 338 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,160 time set aside to cry, 339 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,480 to weep for what had happened 340 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,760 so that they would not build up for too long. 341 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:04,760 Because tears carry more than dust and salt. 342 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,600 Tears are like rivers for the sorrow 343 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,560 that would otherwise rise to unbearable levels 344 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,000 and break the levees. 345 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,080 Because we can only hold so much sorrow 346 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,480 before the dam breaks. 347 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:27,480 Second, let me say that if you did not know this, 348 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,680 it is okay to let anger lead the way. 349 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,680 It is okay to let anger lead the way. 350 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,280 I named this week Tearfully for a reason, 351 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,760 instead of mournfully. 352 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,400 Because tear is a play on words. 353 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,920 Tear can be pronounced tear, 354 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,880 and it can be pronounced tear. 355 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,840 The Jewish tradition and the Middle Eastern tradition, 356 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:56,800 when they mourn, when they grieve, 357 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,800 they tear their clothes. 358 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,680 If you go to a Jewish funeral, 359 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,640 you may see a black ribbon over the heart of the family 360 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,400 and on the other side of everyone else, 361 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,640 and there may be a time in the funeral 362 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,400 where they take scissors and cut the ribbon in half. 363 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,840 It is their way of today still living through the tradition 364 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:30,480 of tearing or cutting their clothing. 365 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:31,880 So maybe find an old shirt, 366 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,360 an old frock you used to use when you were painting, 367 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,560 and then pull as hard as you can. 368 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:46,560 Pull with all the anger, with all the grief. 369 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:54,280 Pull until something tears, whether it be the shirt 370 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,200 or it be the grief from the hole that has on your heart. 371 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,280 And if the tears don't come while you tear, 372 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:09,280 at the very least, you will have released the penitentiary. 373 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,960 You will have released the pent up emotions 374 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,160 that you've been keeping under lock and key. 375 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,160 Third, grieve together. 376 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,440 The scriptures tell us to rejoice with those who rejoice, 377 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:27,360 to mourn with those who mourn. 378 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,920 So listen, y'all, hug someone. 379 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:38,280 Let someone hug you, hold someone's hand, 380 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:43,160 walk around the street arm in arm with someone 381 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,000 while they may not have experienced exactly 382 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,200 what you experienced, 383 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,840 might share the feelings that you feel. 384 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,400 We are not here together by accident. 385 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,520 This is not a social exercise. 386 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,000 We are here because God has put us together. 387 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,840 We're not here just to celebrate the beauty and the glory 388 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,680 of a baby girl being adopted into a family. 389 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:14,160 We are here to grieve with each other when we are at loss, 390 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,800 when we are broken, when we feel something pouring out 391 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,880 from a place it should not be. 392 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,160 We are here to hold each other together. 393 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:34,440 So have tears, tear something, grieve together, 394 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:38,280 grieve together, and last, I'll keep this one short, 395 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:41,320 go to therapy, y'all. 396 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:43,920 Go to therapy. 397 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,960 I have a therapist, I talk to him, I cry. 398 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,240 There's certain things that I'll start to say, 399 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,120 and I feel the tears already coming, 400 00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:56,720 and he'll say, that's close to the surface, isn't it? 401 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,600 It's important, it's important. 402 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,560 Let the tears come. 403 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,720 If you need to let anger lead the way, 404 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:11,240 to tear something, to represent what you feel has happened, 405 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:16,240 grieve together, and if at all possible, go to therapy. 406 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:18,480 Amen? 407 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:23,480 Let us pray. Jesus, sometimes I wish that there were stories 408 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:41,440 about you laughing, but I'm so deeply grateful 409 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,360 that there are stories of you crying. 410 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:50,760 We have in this world so often an idea of what it is 411 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:54,760 to be a man, what it is to be strong, 412 00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:02,040 and then we see you, God in man, perfect, loving, 413 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,400 crying, and we see you. 414 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:14,400 We see you crying, weeping, grieving, experiencing sorrow. 415 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,560 I pray that today that your spirit would release 416 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,240 so many of the men in this room that have been told 417 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,960 they must be strong in a certain way, 418 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,440 to be strong now in the way you were strong. 419 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:39,040 I pray for all the women that were told 420 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:43,200 they're too emotional, and so they have learned 421 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,200 to hold back their tears, that it's safe, 422 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,680 that grief will have its day. 423 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,680 And I pray that we, as a church together, 424 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:07,840 might be an example to each other, to our friends, 425 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:12,840 and neighbors in our city, of people that have 426 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:18,080 a healthy balance of emotions, that experience the myriad, 427 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,480 the spectrum of emotions in life, 428 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,640 and we do not deny or stuff them away 429 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,600 because they feel unpleasant, 430 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,120 or should only happen behind closed doors. 431 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,280 Thank you that you were a full human being 432 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,120 in the fullness of God, and thank you, 433 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:43,120 you are doing good work to make us full as well. 434 00:26:43,120 --> 00:27:04,920 Amen.