1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,240 So good morning. 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:06,520 This is me over here trying to write a sermon 3 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:09,280 the week Taylor Swift dropped 31 songs. 4 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:12,960 Kristen, am I right? 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,360 It was a little distracting. 6 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:22,200 And I'm not even like, I joke, I'm the first Swift. 7 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:27,200 But I am a semi-Swifty, 8 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:31,080 but listen, that's a big deal. 9 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,040 That's impressive. 10 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:36,320 And so while I was trying to figure out how in my week 11 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,760 I could write a sermon at home, 12 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,640 she put out what equates to three albums 13 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:41,880 while on a world tour. 14 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:46,880 So she is a level of productive that I don't understand. 15 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,560 She also has a really big team, so whatever. 16 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,000 But if you wanna talk about this today, 17 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000 I'm probably not your girl, 18 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,800 but Kristen will be accepting questions 19 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,120 at the end of the day, 20 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,600 if you would like to ask her about Taylor Swift 21 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,240 and this new album. 22 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,240 But we are going through a series on, 23 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,800 well, we call it Radical Effects, 24 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,120 but it's reflecting on what had been codified 25 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,040 as the seven deadly sins. 26 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,080 And if you have children in here, 27 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,520 I'm giving you a heads up today 28 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,600 is the topic of lust and chastity. 29 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,880 And so if that is something you would value knowing 30 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:26,880 ahead of time, I'm letting you know. 31 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,680 I don't get explicit if that's also helpful, 32 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,760 but wanting to let adults with children know 33 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:32,960 that that's on the menu today, 34 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,880 if that changes anything for you guys. 35 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:41,240 Our series has focused on what from the vice or virtue 36 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,680 we've been discussing brings life to us. 37 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:49,680 What when grown and fed and nurtured brings fruit 38 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,200 and goodness. 39 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:56,400 What today's message is not about is sex. 40 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:00,040 It is a message about what it is that we can think we want 41 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,360 or expect from each other and how to responsibly 42 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:07,400 and respectfully care for one of the most vulnerable 43 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,280 and intimate areas of our lives. 44 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,840 So that we're on the same page, simple definitions. 45 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:18,400 Lust is defined as a hunger for anything, 46 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:23,400 most commonly and at its start was associated with 47 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:29,000 a deep desire and insatiable desire for sexual intimacy. 48 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,920 But it is not reductively just simply that, 49 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,920 it can be broadly used as well. 50 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:40,200 But it is referring to an insatiable 51 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,960 or an uncontrollable desire. 52 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,840 It is a strong word on purpose. 53 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:49,840 So while lust itself is not a dirty word, 54 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,720 it is in fact a strong word and it is meant to describe 55 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,480 the strongest of desires. 56 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,160 Lust is a strong powerful desire, 57 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,840 whether it's a noun or a verb, 58 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,040 you lust for things you deeply crave. 59 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:08,160 By contrast, chastity is the associated virtue 60 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,560 and it is simply defined as purity. 61 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,720 So with those things in mind, 62 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,040 I want us to go forward in prayer from here 63 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,640 and I will invite you to do that with me now. 64 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:23,640 God, I pray that you would bring fresh insight and wisdom 65 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,320 into our hearts and our minds. 66 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,600 And if there are things that have been unhelpful 67 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,520 and even hurtful and damaging to us 68 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:35,040 in respect to these things in the past, 69 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:39,440 I pray that you would help us somehow even be able to 70 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,000 separate ourselves from those biases 71 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,920 and some of those even traumas or triggers 72 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,240 that words like this can cause. 73 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,720 And so I pray that as we go forward, 74 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,040 you would care for our minds, 75 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,720 you would care for our hearts and our souls 76 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:59,720 as we look for things that bring life 77 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,800 in today's conversation. 78 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,640 I pray this in your name, amen. 79 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,120 So if you grew up in the evangelical church 80 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:09,800 in the 80s and the 90s, 81 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:14,160 the word purity is gonna trigger some things for you. 82 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,000 If you grew up in the evangelical church 83 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,200 during the 80s and 90s, 84 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,560 you ran unwittingly square 85 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:25,600 into the surprising glass window of purity culture 86 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,960 and the self-appointed morality police. 87 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,560 You were given books like, 88 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,760 I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Gift Wrapped, 89 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:38,760 oh, that was visceral, that response just there. 90 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,920 Gift wrapped by God, lady in waiting, 91 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,640 raising maidens of virtue. 92 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,040 Also a lot of women's stuff here. 93 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,520 We took conversations that were about lust and chastity 94 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:55,120 and eventually sex became something we didn't talk about. 95 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,840 Those things became things we didn't talk about 96 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,760 and because we didn't talk about it, 97 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:03,760 we made them taboo and shameful carried on whispers. 98 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:08,040 And as young people were growing into themselves, 99 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,600 they did not have adults 100 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,080 to bring challenging conversations to 101 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,320 in order to help them understand 102 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,600 what was happening to them 103 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,440 during significant developmental years. 104 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,000 We did not have conversations on mutuality, 105 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,400 respect, bodies, and who gets to say 106 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,400 and do what about and with them. 107 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,080 Trusted and approved adults and young people 108 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,680 could not have healthy conversations around desire 109 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,040 and its emotional regulation 110 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,320 and development in a person's life. 111 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,920 Is desire bad? 112 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,000 No. 113 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,000 Desire for something has a drive behind it 114 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,360 and it can be beneficial, 115 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,920 an energy that helps motivate us. 116 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,520 Even desire for another person is not bad. 117 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,920 But when we can't have safe conversations 118 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,920 around what this looks like 119 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,920 and how it shows up in our lives, 120 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:08,160 it becomes shadowed in shame and develops in isolation. 121 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,760 So I'm gonna go on a bit 122 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,560 of what will feel tangential for a minute. 123 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,480 One of the things I think about a lot 124 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,160 at this point in history, 125 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,720 because this is the point of history I'm living in, 126 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,400 I'm sure it's showed up at every point, 127 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,000 but we hear it a lot now 128 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,920 is how much we have sold the importance of being happy. 129 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,080 I just wanna be happy. 130 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,120 I just want them to be happy. 131 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,160 Being happy is nice. 132 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,120 It's a really good feeling. 133 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:42,560 But it is one that when seriously pursued 134 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,400 and when seriously pursued 135 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,800 can actually become a pretty dark chase. 136 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,880 It can be sought at the expense of other things 137 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,720 because we can't be happy all the time 138 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:55,960 and we're not meant to be. 139 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,800 And so often it is at the expense of relationships 140 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,120 and how we have often capped off a collective reflection 141 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,600 for someone in talking with others, 142 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,640 I just hope they're happy. 143 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:13,120 We never say that, hopefully, for people. 144 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,760 We kind of often say it because we have felt the brunt 145 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:21,120 of what somebody else's pursuit of happiness has done to us. 146 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,320 I just hope they're happy. 147 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,480 Where I'm going with this is that we live in a time 148 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,800 where a person's personal pursuits, 149 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,720 that was really good alliteration actually, 150 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,120 just as I said that, 151 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,480 person's personal pursuits are the pinnacle. 152 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,040 But that's true. 153 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,880 We live in a time where a person's personal pursuits 154 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,480 is the pinnacle of what they want to achieve. 155 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,440 We are living in a society where we are chasing satiation 156 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,160 and we feed our lusts. 157 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,000 We feed our deepest desires 158 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:59,680 because we do not know how or even want to manage them. 159 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,840 We don't know how to emotionally regulate well, 160 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,520 and that's where a lot of that's rooted in. 161 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,920 We do it with food, we do it with happiness, 162 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,920 we do it with social media, we do it with politics, 163 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,040 we do it with other people. 164 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,880 Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite writers. 165 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,520 He wrote a book called American Gods 166 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,920 and it's a book about the gods of the old worlds, 167 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,720 the Norse, the Eastern Egyptian, Greek, Roman, others, 168 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,200 and the new gods that are emerging. 169 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,520 The old gods are fading or they're losing their status, 170 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:38,400 their power in the world because the American gods, 171 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:42,240 the new shiny American gods are replacing them. 172 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:48,640 These are the gods of tech and money and media and self. 173 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,640 They've grown large because people have always wanted more 174 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:57,040 and in America, truthfully, the book plays on this 175 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,760 because it's true, but here we are. 176 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,400 In America, we've been taught 177 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,240 that whatever you want, you can have. 178 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,960 We have been taught that whatever you desire, 179 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,280 you can have it. 180 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,440 You can work for it, you should fight for it, 181 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,680 and you can even do it at the expense of others. 182 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,440 You are not only allowed to feed your lusts, 183 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,840 you're encouraged to do so. 184 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,840 But with these vices or the things that we feed, 185 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:30,000 there is something adjacent at play here. 186 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:35,000 Unchecked desire, unregulated, gluttonously fed, 187 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:39,040 and fitted with a sense of shadowed shame and isolation 188 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:43,040 becomes troublesome at best and dangerous at worst. 189 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:48,040 I think, and this is a helpful visual for me, 190 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,680 it may not be for you, I think these vices and virtues 191 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,560 can be seen as a continuum. 192 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:59,080 And maybe it isn't as polarized as I might paint that to be, 193 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,400 but for today, that's the image I'm gonna work with. 194 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,760 We have chastity and we have lust. 195 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,240 But having awareness of where the direction begins to go 196 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,880 of where the direction begins taking us 197 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:19,200 in places that lead away to life is important. 198 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:23,000 On that continuum, knowing the direction we're moving 199 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:27,200 and is it taking us away from or towards life, 200 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,560 knowing that for ourselves is really important. 201 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,400 I don't know where the crossover is. 202 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,720 If it was a marked line, I can't say this, 203 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,040 when you've crossed this line, you know, 204 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,920 because it's not so easily, you know, 205 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,640 qualifiable in that way. 206 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,920 I believe it looks differently for each of us 207 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,560 in some, just to some degree. 208 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:53,880 And I'll come back around to that later 209 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,440 and how we might keep in tune with that. 210 00:10:55,440 --> 00:11:00,440 But what I think this strong unchecked desire, lust, 211 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:05,080 ends up doing is that it begins to 212 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,280 disassociate ourselves from others. 213 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:13,280 And it allows us to objectify to the point of our desire. 214 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,720 Lust does not have respect at its core. 215 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,960 It does not make space for leveled vulnerability 216 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,120 and intimacy, it does not make space for connection. 217 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:30,400 Lust objectifies, it sees what it wants as an object 218 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,960 to use to feed itself and where does that end? 219 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,160 We know from the history of humanity 220 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,120 that there is rarely an end that doesn't lead 221 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,880 to self-destruction when one continues to feed something 222 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,320 that is so self-centered. 223 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:52,640 It begins to ignore what others want or need or have. 224 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:57,720 It begins to ignore what others value. 225 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,800 It is only concerned about what can be acquired 226 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,560 and even owned or controlled. 227 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,760 It begins to see others as a means to an end 228 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:13,120 and not for the other's benefit, but solely your own. 229 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,520 The conversations in our society about sexual freedom 230 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,400 very much hold one's personal desires as priority, 231 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,400 so it's a difficult conversation to have 232 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:27,200 when feeding one's lust is even normalized and honored. 233 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,560 I'm not gonna go into that part, 234 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:32,800 but we do live in a society where these are things 235 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,680 very much in front of us. 236 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:36,080 I'm not making commentary on that, 237 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,480 I'm stating that we have it in front of us 238 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:41,760 and we have to make decisions for ourselves, 239 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,200 how we engage with that. 240 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,400 This would be a very long sermon 241 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,560 if I were to go down some other avenue. 242 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,400 So I realize that some of this is gonna feel reductionist 243 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,880 and even compressed a little bit, so please forgive me, 244 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:57,000 we can have further conversations on many other tangents. 245 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:03,360 But listen, purity culture did a number on a generation 246 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,240 to go back to that and on a society. 247 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,480 Purity culture and the lead up to it 248 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:12,000 largely targeted women and making women responsible 249 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,400 for what became men's broadcast. 250 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,240 And I'm not saying this is true, 251 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,320 I'm saying it became broadcast, 252 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,680 that it was men's inability to control themselves. 253 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:25,640 We normalized what we know is simply untrue. 254 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,600 It just became permissible and accepted 255 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:32,000 and women were asked to carry the brunt 256 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,560 of that responsibility. 257 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,320 What women can do to keep their virtue and their purity 258 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,680 and it fell into our field of responsibility 259 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,560 and I will tell you that's exhausting. 260 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:50,400 We accepted shamelessness for some and shame for others. 261 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,440 Hear me, I'm not calling for equitable shame. 262 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,120 I am not advocating for shame 263 00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,840 and I am definitely not advocating 264 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,320 for imposing it on others. 265 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:06,720 But I do want an alternative conversation on chastity 266 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,240 which I think we can have that doesn't actually 267 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,560 bring shame into the conversation at all. 268 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:17,920 So revisiting chastity or purity can feel concerning 269 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,840 to those who grew up in that time of hush conversation 270 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,000 and moral policing. 271 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,600 I think we can reset the conversation 272 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:29,720 and instead of centering shame and unbalanced responsibility, 273 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,440 we can instead remind ourselves 274 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,440 that the things Jesus was consistently about 275 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,720 was mutually loving each other, 276 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,240 caring for each other and holding each other up. 277 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,320 All of us in equal measure. 278 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,480 Among the things we see consistently in scripture 279 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:52,040 is God's call for community and a dignified 280 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,400 and honoring view of each other. 281 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:58,640 The reminder that no one is better than another, 282 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,000 that we can't earn God's love 283 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,680 and that we are called to be gracious 284 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,320 and charitable with one another. 285 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:10,920 I think chastity can mean that we place our desires 286 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,880 in a place of wise and loving holding 287 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,800 and regulate them for the benefit 288 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,960 and consideration of others 289 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,800 until we can find ourselves mutually connected, 290 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:29,040 open and capable of equitable vulnerability with each other. 291 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:35,160 That chastity recognizes that intimacy is not built on sex 292 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,800 but on among other things, connection, 293 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,480 broad faithfulness, mutuality, safety and love. 294 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,120 The Bible has a lot of places. 295 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:50,120 This is an interesting topic to work with biblically, 296 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,640 which sounds strange from a pastor. 297 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,360 But the Bible has a lot of places 298 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,080 where the original languages have been translated 299 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,520 into the word lust but they are simply identifying 300 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,120 who was being lustful and positioning these folks 301 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,280 on the dark side of the street leaving us to think, 302 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,520 oh, those are the people we don't wanna be like. 303 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,120 There are a number of passages 304 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,920 that are overwhelmingly descriptive 305 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,880 but there's very little in regards to instructive 306 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:21,680 but there's very little in regards to instruction 307 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,320 aside from a few spots if we're looking for the Bible 308 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,720 to be explicit on this topic. 309 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,600 To that point, the seven deadly sins, 310 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,480 as we've said a few times in this series already, 311 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:35,480 are not actually outlined in the Bible in a codified way. 312 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:40,840 They're a compilation of an extra canonical creation 313 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,560 with scripture in mind presented for guidelines 314 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,080 to Christian living in the sixth century. 315 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,640 However, the Bible is not silent on the matter 316 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,040 and there's an incredibly rich passage 317 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:57,800 in 2 Peter 1 that I want us to read together. 318 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,920 I'm gonna be reading from the NRSV updated version 319 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,280 and I do invite you, if you are able 320 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,560 and would like to join this way, 321 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,560 we honor the scriptures by standing. 322 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,040 So I would invite you to do that. 323 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,560 I'm actually gonna read this passage twice 324 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:17,560 but 2 Peter 1, three through 10. 325 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:25,920 His divine power has given us everything needed 326 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,480 for life and godliness through the knowledge of him 327 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,100 who called us by his own glory and excellence. 328 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:37,060 Thus, he has given us through these things 329 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:40,360 his precious and very great promises 330 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:44,760 so that through them you may escape from the corruption 331 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,280 that is in the world because of lust 332 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,760 and may become participants of the divine nature. 333 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,800 For this very reason, you must make every effort 334 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,160 to support your faith with excellence 335 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,960 and excellence with knowledge 336 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,400 and knowledge with self-control 337 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,840 and self-control with endurance 338 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,440 and endurance with godliness 339 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:07,400 and godliness with mutual affection 340 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,320 and mutual affection with love. 341 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:15,320 For if these things are yours and are increasing among you, 342 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,440 they keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful 343 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,180 in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 344 00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:21,940 For anyone who lacks these things is blind, 345 00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:23,160 suffering from eye disease, 346 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,880 forgetful of the cleansing of past sins. 347 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,120 Therefore, brothers and sisters, 348 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:30,400 be all the more eager to confirm your call and election. 349 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,020 For if you do this, you will never stumble. 350 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,420 I'm gonna read that one more time. 351 00:18:36,420 --> 00:18:39,540 His divine power has given us everything 352 00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:41,720 needed for life and godliness 353 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:42,920 through the knowledge of him 354 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,000 who called us by his own glory and excellence. 355 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,060 Thus, he has given us through these things, 356 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:51,200 his precious and very great promises 357 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,400 so that through them you may escape from the corruption 358 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,880 that is in the world because of lust 359 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,000 and may become participants of the divine nature. 360 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,360 For this very reason, you must make every effort 361 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:06,560 to support your faith with excellence 362 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,240 and excellence with knowledge 363 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,760 and knowledge with self-control 364 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,160 and self-control with endurance 365 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,880 and endurance with godliness 366 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,120 and godliness with mutual affection 367 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,800 and mutual affection with love. 368 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,640 For these things are yours 369 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,680 and they're increasing among you. 370 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,640 They keep you from being ineffective and fruitful 371 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,100 in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 372 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,000 For anyone who lacks these things is blind, 373 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,120 suffering from eye disease, 374 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:33,480 forgetful of the cleansing of past sins. 375 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,940 Therefore, brothers and sisters, 376 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,340 be all the more eager to confirm your call and election 377 00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:42,120 for if you do this, you will never stumble. 378 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,260 You may be seated. 379 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,340 I find that passage very hopeful and life-giving. 380 00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:55,440 It's encouraging with mutual affection 381 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,680 and mutual affection with love. 382 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,120 The writer is hoping for us, 383 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,840 it's invitational to participate in something 384 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,560 that's gonna lead us to life. 385 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,380 And not just life for ourselves, 386 00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:10,320 but life among and with others. 387 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,320 That is a really good personal point of reflection. 388 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,440 We act differently towards those we have love for. 389 00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:21,920 In a world where I see a person's personal happiness 390 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:26,140 being held as a key, if not the utmost value, 391 00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:28,940 mutual affection and mutual affection with love 392 00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:31,540 almost seem like something from a forgotten era. 393 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:36,540 But what if a revisit of chastity with this as the center 394 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,260 could be something we uphold? 395 00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:44,760 Where we care for others, we hold space for others, 396 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:48,400 and we recognize other people are people 397 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:53,160 that have opinions and thoughts and things to share. 398 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:59,320 So chastity, how do we value it in our lives? 399 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,760 We practice the virtue, understanding 400 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,680 that it will lead to life. 401 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,200 That a continuation down this direction 402 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:11,200 will not only be good for us, but for others as well. 403 00:21:11,460 --> 00:21:13,900 It strengthens many. 404 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,880 We practice it so that we can care for others. 405 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,280 We practice it to help take us out of ourselves. 406 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,960 Because we will think of ourselves first. 407 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,560 And as much as one is a helper or an Enneagram Two 408 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,800 or an empath, our self perspective 409 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,000 is the strongest one we have. 410 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,440 And at the end of the day, the one we feel 411 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:42,640 the most urgent need to respond to is ourselves. 412 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,200 Developing an intentional practice to be moved 413 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,920 along the continuum in a way that leads to life 414 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:57,360 is life giving for you, and it is also life giving for others. 415 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:02,460 And you cannot be in two places at one time. 416 00:22:02,460 --> 00:22:05,800 If you are moving this way, you are not moving this way. 417 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,480 If we keep the image of a continuum in our minds, 418 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:15,480 how do we know when we are devolving instead of evolving? 419 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,560 Or have crossed into an unhealthy or even dangerous place? 420 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:24,560 Because often we are not good at prevention or moderation. 421 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,840 It's not what we're taught here in America. 422 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,260 We are taught how to walk something back 423 00:22:30,260 --> 00:22:33,160 once we've gone too far, but by then 424 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,480 it's just incredibly difficult. 425 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,200 We are allowed to manage things though, everyone. 426 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,480 We are allowed to do this. 427 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,500 We are allowed to manage things before they get too far. 428 00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:45,000 Before they get too far down the line 429 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,080 where it is not bringing us life. 430 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,000 So when does something become unhealthy? 431 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,800 If it's a continuum, then it's probably different 432 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,360 for everyone, I did say that earlier. 433 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:57,160 But it's good to point out here. 434 00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:02,160 As with anything, we have to be wise about the real, 435 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:07,560 actual state of our own hearts and the health of our minds. 436 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,120 Which means we ask ourselves questions 437 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,400 and we are vulnerable with ourselves. 438 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,160 And we invite the Lord to examine us 439 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,520 and share things about us that we need to know. 440 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,160 We ask ourselves questions. 441 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:25,300 We check in, we help us know where we are on the line. 442 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,980 I'm gonna offer some questions you can ask yourself. 443 00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:32,360 It is not comprehensive, you can add to it. 444 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:34,640 You may decide others are not valuable. 445 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,620 But as I was thinking through this, 446 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,900 these are some things that I thought through. 447 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,160 Questions that we can ask ourselves to keep us in check. 448 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,380 Where am I? 449 00:23:46,380 --> 00:23:50,920 Am I creating isolation around certain things in my life? 450 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,320 Am I going in a path that is continually 451 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,720 keeping myself protected? 452 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,300 Or am I moving on a path that has others? 453 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,760 Do I feel ashamed about conversations 454 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,380 around lust or chastity? 455 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,440 I will add this caveat. 456 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:11,240 There are not, there are, 457 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,880 some conversations aren't for all times. 458 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,720 Read your room, but you have been able to, 459 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,160 but have you been able to have healthy conversations 460 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,760 around these topics with trusted 461 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,600 and appropriate friends and family? 462 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,720 Is that something you practice or have in your life? 463 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,240 If it is not, I encourage you to seek it out. 464 00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:32,440 Do I care about vulnerability with others 465 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,000 or does my desire for this create, 466 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,840 or my desire for my sort of myself 467 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,080 create a barrier to feed myself? 468 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,640 Does it create a barrier? 469 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,800 Do I, when others are wanting to be vulnerable, 470 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,400 am I uncomfortable with that? 471 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:49,920 Do I unwelcome it? 472 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,560 Do I put up walls against that? 473 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,840 Or do I help encourage it and support it 474 00:24:55,840 --> 00:25:00,760 and help foster it towards a healthy place? 475 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,980 And am I actually working against my own vulnerability 476 00:25:05,980 --> 00:25:08,900 or intimacy with myself and others? 477 00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:10,900 Do I consider others? 478 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:11,840 Do I care for others? 479 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,080 Do I seek to protect others? 480 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,040 Do I genuinely love others? 481 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:19,440 We do not have to know each other to do these things, 482 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:23,080 to love, consider, care, protect, or love others. 483 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,300 We do not have to know others to protect them 484 00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:28,360 and care for them, consider them. 485 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,720 When we are talking about the things that feed us 486 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,180 and our own desires, 487 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:38,560 or considering others with mutuality and respect, 488 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:43,560 I can practice that and not know people in my community. 489 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,240 So what are things that help? 490 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,160 With regards to these questions, 491 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,720 what are things that can help us move forward 492 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:57,720 in a direction towards a life-giving path 493 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,280 for ourselves and for others? 494 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:04,180 A good community that supports practicing vulnerability 495 00:26:04,180 --> 00:26:05,840 and openness with others, 496 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:09,720 and a place where you can do that and share, 497 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,880 that share your values in these areas. 498 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,360 You don't even have to share the same opinions, 499 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:17,760 but sharing same values on vulnerability and openness 500 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:22,760 and its value is good to find, and it's good to cultivate. 501 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,560 The Lord's wisdom is what helps. 502 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,280 God is available to us in innumerable ways. 503 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,980 The wisdom of the Lord is a gift, and it is for you. 504 00:26:33,980 --> 00:26:35,880 We can ask for it, we can practice it, 505 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,340 we can be strengthened from it, we can grow in it. 506 00:26:38,340 --> 00:26:42,520 The Lord's wisdom is not withheld from anyone, 507 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,480 and it empowers us to uphold and care for others 508 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,400 with mutuality and respect and dignity. 509 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:52,400 Ask for the Lord's wisdom continually in these areas. 510 00:26:53,300 --> 00:26:57,000 Self-reflection, this might be one of the most difficult 511 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,700 areas of vulnerability in our lives. 512 00:26:59,700 --> 00:27:02,960 Honesty and reflection of ourselves. 513 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,000 Spend time assessing your own boundaries and choices. 514 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,800 Ask the Lord again to give you wisdom 515 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,080 and insight into those things. 516 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,840 Ask for God's help for growth. 517 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,620 And this is a final caveat. 518 00:27:18,620 --> 00:27:23,620 If you find that you yourself have life-disrupting issues 519 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:28,440 with desire, lust, sexual, sex addiction, or porn, 520 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:33,280 help is available, and I would encourage you to seek it. 521 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,040 If you would like to speak with a pastor 522 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:38,720 or a licensed counselor, and perhaps even need help 523 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:42,400 finding one, please let us help with that. 524 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,880 Because this conversation may be a very difficult one 525 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,320 for some people in this room, but your community, 526 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:55,160 the people here, want to, we all want to move forward 527 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:59,540 together in a direction that is life-giving for everyone. 528 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,280 This is one of my shortest sermons I've ever given. 529 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:09,280 Usually they are about 20 minutes longer. 530 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:14,080 But I think with the things that we've had time 531 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:19,080 to reflect on, I would ask you to, 532 00:28:20,020 --> 00:28:21,880 if you need some of those questions again, 533 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,080 I can, you can write them down. 534 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,440 But I do want to give you a couple moments 535 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,880 of quiet reflection as well, because this is an easy one 536 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,580 to walk away and be like, I'll think about that later. 537 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:40,640 We don't want or like to give time to hard things like this, 538 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,220 so let's take some time right now to do that. 539 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,080 I'm gonna give you about a minute to do that. 540 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,280 Don't worry about the other noises in the room. 541 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:56,040 But let's have a moment of quiet just to reflect 542 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,960 on some of these things and be open to vulnerability 543 00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:22,960 with ourselves and ask God to examine our hearts. 544 00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:22,960 God, with the things that we've had a conversation 545 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:28,440 about today, I pray that you would remove all shame 546 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:33,440 from this topic in our life, recognizing that you, 547 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,560 that there's no condemnation in you. 548 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,840 This is an area that often has vast amounts of shame 549 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:47,840 connected to it and I'm praying that you would remove that 550 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:52,440 and replace it with life and hopefulness. 551 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,340 That we would be a community that is able 552 00:30:57,340 --> 00:31:00,240 to uphold each other and care for each other 553 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:05,240 with great dignity, that we do not look to use others 554 00:31:08,540 --> 00:31:11,760 for our own gain, that we would continually be 555 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,320 moving forward towards pure hearts when it comes 556 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,440 to how we see and relate to others. 557 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:26,440 That we would move in our lives with respect 558 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:31,440 towards others and dignity, seeing each other with love, 559 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:36,680 whether we know them or not, that our love for others 560 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,720 channeled from you would grow and increase. 561 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,120 I pray that you carry us today with some of these 562 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:52,120 reflections and may they lead to life giving 563 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,960 and fruitful things this week. 564 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,600 And we're asking for your blessing on that. 565 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:17,600 Amen.