1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,320 All right, we have been blessed to have a number of different people come and bring 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:11,840 messages about how to worship, different ways to worship. 3 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:16,320 And that when I thought originally like, oh, hey, let's do a series on worship, I wasn't 4 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,100 thinking like, oh, this is a great chance to let a bunch of different people talk. 5 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:24,560 But over the course of pastoring a church, different people will say like, hey, if you 6 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,960 ever wanted me to, I would love to or da da da. 7 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:31,120 And that list grows over a certain period of time. 8 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,920 And so then I was like, you know what? 9 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,760 So and so is going to fill in and so on is going to be doing this. 10 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:40,000 And then I was like, well, what are the different topics that we're going to be thinking about? 11 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:44,920 And I knew that worshiping through our trials was going to be an important subject for us 12 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,160 to talk about, because we all experience trials. 13 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:52,200 And I won't steal any of the content of the sermon that's about to happen. 14 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,280 So I'm going to go into it in great depth. 15 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:58,720 But I thought, who should I invite from this list of people that I know can preach and 16 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,800 have said that they would like to? 17 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,640 And so today I was like, it's got to be Marissa. 18 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:08,780 And I texted her and I asked her months and months and months ago, because we planned 19 00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:09,780 pretty far ahead. 20 00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:15,560 I said, hey, would you bring a message about worshiping through your our trials and knowing 21 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,660 some trials that she had been through in the past and having no idea of some of the trials 22 00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:23,480 that she would then experience after she said yes. 23 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:28,120 But what I know is that Marissa knows how to follow the Lord and listen to the Lord. 24 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,480 And so I'm really looking forward to the message that she brings today. 25 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:36,040 And I hope that our hearts are open, that our hearts are empathetic and ready to hear 26 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:42,920 how God might be offering some comfort to us when it comes to how to worship Him through 27 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:43,920 our trials. 28 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:44,920 Will you please welcome Marissa. 29 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:56,520 Just watch this funny role. 30 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:05,560 Go to big screen, big screen, little wider. 31 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,560 Next one's my fish was this big. 32 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,560 If you're a liar, go out there, that's fine. 33 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,560 Don't worry about it. 34 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,560 Jesus loves you. 35 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:12,560 Grace. 36 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:13,560 Next one's hold my baby. 37 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,040 Hold my baby. 38 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:18,240 Got dueling light bulbs. 39 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,240 That's our next one. 40 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,240 That goalpost. 41 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,240 Everybody knows goalpost. 42 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:24,240 Throw in a heartburn. 43 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,960 A lot of people like to do heartburn. 44 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,400 Double heartburn right back to goalpost. 45 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,400 What's my favorite? 46 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,400 Mufasa. 47 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,400 Mufasa, that's my favorite. 48 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,920 One hand go a bunch of different stuff. 49 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,920 Pointer hatchet schoolroom. 50 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:41,920 Release the doves. 51 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:42,920 Give the Lord a high five. 52 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:45,760 A lot of women like to wash the window. 53 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:46,760 Wash the window. 54 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,720 When you're comfortable there, go for the big three. 55 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:49,720 Village people, rocky touchdown. 56 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:50,720 There you go. 57 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,960 There's your big three. 58 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,880 What kind of worship are you, right? 59 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:59,280 So I saw that video and I was like, we got to do that on Sunday. 60 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:04,800 So I love one thing about our church is that you can worship any way that you want to. 61 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:09,360 Sitting down, standing up, whatever the Lord in the spirit moves you to do. 62 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:13,040 So I just wanted to break the ice a little bit with that. 63 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:17,920 Thank you, Pastor Greg, for allowing me this time to share with you all. 64 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:24,680 A lot of the times like worshiping through the trials, like what is worship, right? 65 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:29,280 You guys hear Greg said worship is turning all of our attention and all of our affection 66 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,320 towards God. 67 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:35,200 But sometimes worship can be these things. 68 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,020 Worship is singing. 69 00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:39,560 Worship can be silence. 70 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,920 Worship can be being still. 71 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:46,140 And worship could be knowing that he is God. 72 00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:48,760 So in all of those things we worship, right? 73 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,280 And then what are trials? 74 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,480 Like what kind of different things do we go through? 75 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:59,080 We go through emotional trials where there are some things that might be going on with 76 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:06,560 relationships with our significant others, our family, work problems, just situational 77 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,080 things. 78 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:13,400 Other trials like physical trials of health and healing. 79 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,080 Things are just not going the way that you want them to go. 80 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:21,500 And a lot of spiritual trials can be happening too in our lives. 81 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,440 Maybe financial trials. 82 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:28,440 Just different things that you go through on an everyday basis that affect our way of 83 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:33,520 life, that affect our joy, that affect our peace, that affect who we are as people and 84 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:39,080 how we manage things on a daily basis. 85 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:44,720 The scriptures that I'm going to be sharing today are the amplified version of scriptures. 86 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:49,080 So if they look a little bit different from you guys following along with me, it's because 87 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,360 it's the amplified version. 88 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:57,880 But before I go into a little bit more detail, I want to thank God for allowing my dad and 89 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,640 my mom to be here with me and some family members too. 90 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:05,440 If you guys don't know, a little bit of my history is coming from a PK. 91 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,400 I'm a pastor's kid. 92 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:13,520 My dad pastored for over 25 years and our family always stood by his side in all of 93 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,000 those years. 94 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,480 And he also went through cancer when I was 11 years old. 95 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:22,160 And it's part of the story that I'll be sharing today. 96 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,320 And I know that God has always prepared the path. 97 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,360 But I want to thank my family for being here. 98 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:35,000 First Thessalonians 5, 16 through 18 is an amplified version when it comes to Christian 99 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,000 conduct. 100 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,840 It says, rejoice always in delight in your faith. 101 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:46,480 Be unceasing and persistent in prayer in every situation. 102 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,960 Does that seem easy to do? 103 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:55,200 The amplified version says, no matter what the circumstances and be thankful and continually 104 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,400 give thanks to God. 105 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,440 What is giving thanks? 106 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,440 What is thankfulness? 107 00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,440 Praise. 108 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,640 It's worship. 109 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:10,560 For this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. 110 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:15,720 Pastor Greg shared a little bit of what I call God incidences. 111 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:21,720 Sometimes there's coincidences in your life, but I call the spiritual ones God incidences. 112 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:29,080 And so of course him asking me six months ago to preach on worshiping through trials 113 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,000 never did we know that I was going to be going through cancer. 114 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,000 So I'm saying that's a God incidence. 115 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,120 I must be going through this just so that it hits home today. 116 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,920 So pay really close attention. 117 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:48,120 So that's one of the things that I know God is always preparing our paths and our ways. 118 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:52,600 But back in August, I'm going to share a little bit of my story is I was starting to feel 119 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,120 a lot of pain and discomfort. 120 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:59,000 And I'm sorry if I share some intimate, you know, womanly things that are going on with 121 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,760 me, you know, through this process. 122 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:04,720 But I was going through a lot of pain and it was just like burning pain. 123 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,320 It was really different from anything that I had ever felt before. 124 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:13,280 And stubborn old me was like, oh, I'll just, you know, eat different or, you know, do different 125 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,280 things. 126 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:19,120 And the day that I said, oh, if it still hurts tomorrow, then I'll go to the doctor. 127 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,880 Well, it didn't hurt tomorrow. 128 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:27,280 So I didn't go to the doctor and I started eating really clean, eating really healthy. 129 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,720 I lost some weight. 130 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:34,680 And the doctor had already scheduled a follow up, you know, because I did end up going for 131 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,940 other reasons to the doctor and I ended up telling him what was going on. 132 00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:42,720 And she scheduled for me to see my gynecologist. 133 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:48,120 And so I went in October to visit with him and I thought, well, maybe, you know, I'm 134 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:53,120 of age or I'm going through menopause and things are just changing for me. 135 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:57,760 There was some times, you know, in my life where it was just really irregular for me 136 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,080 to feel the way that I was feeling. 137 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,920 The doctor took some tests and said, oh, it looks pretty good. 138 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,640 We'll schedule an ultrasound. 139 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,480 Well, he didn't schedule that ultrasound for a month and a half later. 140 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,080 So here we are, October 15th. 141 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:17,360 I see the doctor, November 29th, I get an ultrasound and he calls me on November 30th, 142 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:22,760 not to give me results, but to say, hey, I have a surgery here in a couple of minutes, 143 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,200 but if you have some time, can you come to the office? 144 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,720 Well, right away I was like, well, that can't be, you know, really good news. 145 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,360 So I left work. 146 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:35,560 It was about 1.30 and I go and visit with him and he shares with me that the ultrasound 147 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:40,720 showed a mass in my ovaries that really didn't look normal. 148 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,480 And he said, it was an accident. 149 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,220 We weren't even looking for this. 150 00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:49,840 And in that moment I said to him, well, there's really no accidents in my life. 151 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:51,520 It's a God incidence. 152 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:54,040 So God incidence number two, right, in my life. 153 00:08:54,040 --> 00:09:01,840 And so in that moment I listened to him, but I don't know if when you guys are ever in 154 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:06,800 a moment where you can go through a little bit of shock and you're listening, but you're 155 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:07,880 not really listening. 156 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:12,520 So I didn't really share what I was going through with my family quite yet because I 157 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:18,880 don't even think I had grasped my head around what was really going on. 158 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,920 And so he said, there's a mass in your ovaries. 159 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,120 I'm going to send you to Iowa City. 160 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,040 They're the experts over there. 161 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:30,040 And I think that it's better if you go over there so that they could take care of you. 162 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,600 So that was November 29th. 163 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:42,800 By December, I was, December 11th, I go and see the doctor in Iowa City. 164 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:47,680 And he repeats and shares with me a little more in depth what the doctor was telling 165 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:48,680 me. 166 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,800 And basically he said, there's really no way to find out what's in there until we open 167 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,800 you up. 168 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,380 So how about we schedule a hysterectomy? 169 00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:56,560 And it's going to be robotic. 170 00:09:56,560 --> 00:10:00,360 You're going to have three marks on your stomach. 171 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:04,920 The recovery from robotic hysterectomies isn't as terrible as cutting you open. 172 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,200 But let's do that as soon as possible. 173 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:13,680 Let's get you in for December 18th, no, December 20th. 174 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,480 So I say, OK. 175 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:24,800 And I said, I will get things ready and prepare what I need to prepare. 176 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,080 And I was ready for this hysterectomy. 177 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:33,800 And he scheduled a CAT scan a couple of days before the surgery, which is very normal for 178 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,640 them to do before surgery. 179 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:43,320 And the day before I was going to go into surgery, I was at work, of course, getting 180 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,380 things prepared. 181 00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:49,760 And I looked at my CAT scan results at work. 182 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,920 Does anybody ever do that? 183 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:56,880 You look at your test results and automatically you go to Google and you start typing in everything 184 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:01,680 and the worst case scenario comes up and you just start thinking the worst. 185 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:06,680 But I did know a couple of words from that CAT scan. 186 00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:13,040 I knew metastatic, which meant that whatever was going on in my body had spread. 187 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:22,720 And I knew different organs of my body that said heart and liver and diaphragm and all 188 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,400 of these organs that were listed. 189 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,880 And I'm just looking at it. 190 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,880 And I panicked. 191 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:35,160 I couldn't believe what I was reading. 192 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:39,940 It was really tough for me to really grasp that the day before surgery. 193 00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:43,080 So I called my doctor's office. 194 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,560 And I didn't tell him that I had read the CAT scan yet. 195 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:48,280 So I was like, hey, can you have my doctor give me a call? 196 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:52,000 Well, he didn't call me until 530. 197 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:56,680 And when he calls me, he's like, hey, how's it going? 198 00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:05,760 I said, well, if what's on my CAT scan is correct, then I'm not doing so good. 199 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,560 And so he tells me, yeah, it doesn't look really good. 200 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:13,120 Whatever is going on in your body has spread. 201 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,880 They can't call it cancer until they open you up and take things out. 202 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,640 He's like, but whatever's going on in your body has spread. 203 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:27,720 And he went on to list all of the organs where it was and went on to tell me that things 204 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,080 are going to change a little bit. 205 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,280 We're going to have to cut you vertically. 206 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,360 We can't do the robotic surgery anymore. 207 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:38,080 You're going to stay in the hospital maybe five to six days. 208 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:41,840 But we'll try to get you out for Christmas. 209 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:48,440 And in that moment, my heart just sank. 210 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:56,440 And the only thing I thought about was my kids, the future of my kids. 211 00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:02,880 You know, worshiping through the trials in that moment wasn't at the forefront. 212 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:10,320 And I called Greg that day, and I told him what was going on. 213 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,560 And he had scheduled to pray with me that day anyway. 214 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:20,280 And so him and a couple of other members from the church came over and I told them, I have 215 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,680 been a lot of things in my life. 216 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:25,200 I have been sad. 217 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,200 I've been hurt. 218 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,200 I've been angry. 219 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,240 I've been a lot of different emotions. 220 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:36,840 And that day I told them, I don't think I've ever been scared. 221 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,300 I don't think I've ever felt so much fear in my life. 222 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:43,720 My dad has gone through a lot of situations in his life. 223 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,080 He's a walking, talking miracle in and of himself. 224 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,880 So many surgeries, open heart surgery, a lot of things. 225 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,240 And I've been concerned. 226 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:51,240 I've been worried. 227 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:52,320 I've been sad. 228 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,000 But never had I been scared, you know. 229 00:13:55,000 --> 00:14:02,960 And I was just really fearful for my life in that moment. 230 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,280 Fear of the unknown, you know. 231 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:14,520 And they prayed with me and Greg went over some amazing scriptures with me. 232 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:24,320 And in that moment, like I just had to take on my faith and take on the spirit of knowing 233 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:32,000 that no matter what, like God was with me, that I was going to be okay. 234 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:39,600 And so after praying that day with him, I felt so much better going into surgery. 235 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:45,440 My sister stepped up like the warrior that she is too and the big sister that she is. 236 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:50,320 And she was just taking things on, like forging ahead. 237 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:51,320 We're going to do this. 238 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,560 We're going to prepare for you to be at the hospital. 239 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,680 We're going to set up who's going to come be with you. 240 00:14:56,680 --> 00:15:01,400 And I went through surgery and it was really tough. 241 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,520 All I remember doing before anesthesia, I don't know if you guys have ever gone through 242 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:11,920 anesthesia, but you really, like you remember and then you wake up and like I don't know 243 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:12,920 what happened. 244 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:21,800 But I remember singing in my head right before anesthesia and literally worshiping through 245 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:30,560 one of the biggest trials of my life. 246 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:36,560 And all of my life, you know, when I sing, when we sing this song, I'm going to pull 247 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:45,960 up the words because when I sing the chorus, all my life you have been faithful. 248 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,860 All my life you have been so, so good. 249 00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:53,960 With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God. 250 00:15:53,960 --> 00:16:00,140 I don't know about you, but when I worship, I'm really paying attention to the words that 251 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:03,680 I'm singing. 252 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:09,720 And when those lyrics come to mind, whenever, you know, if you see me up here getting teary-eyed, 253 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:15,400 it's because I've either lived it or I feel the pain of my friends living through things, 254 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:22,360 but I really pay attention to the lyrics of the words that I am singing and how lyrics, 255 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:32,760 you know, play such a big part of who we are and what we do in our moments of despair. 256 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:45,880 So I remember singing a song and I want to share the song that I've always gone to since 257 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:46,880 I was young. 258 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:53,480 I've been worshiping since I was five years old in the church, leading worship all of 259 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,360 these years of my life. 260 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:04,120 Since I was very young, you know, in church, always referred to the heart of worship and 261 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:09,320 having a heart to worship God and just being true in that moment of where we are. 262 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,960 And so went through surgery. 263 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:18,480 I remember singing right in that moment and then I remember waking up and I laugh with 264 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:24,400 my sister because they had given me medication and the only thing I remember was like, it's 265 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,720 not enough, it still hurts when I woke up. 266 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:32,880 So they kept me back in the waiting room a long time. 267 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:37,740 Rod was there and my sister was there and it took them a little bit longer to get me 268 00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:41,400 out of recovery because I was in so much pain. 269 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:46,760 But I do remember every time that they would walk away, I would still, you know, just keep 270 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:53,760 that in the back of my head that I'm going to be okay and that God is with me. 271 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:59,340 So when the doctor came in, I still get emotional listening to the words of the doctor when 272 00:17:59,340 --> 00:18:10,000 he shared with my sister and Rod what was left of the cancer in my body. 273 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:21,440 And below my heart, there's cancer or there was, I'm going to claim healing, if you guys 274 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,360 can claim that with me. 275 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:32,120 Above my diaphragm is what was left and some on my liver. 276 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:36,120 And so I shared with Rod this other God incidence. 277 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:39,960 What are the chances of cancer being left? 278 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,160 Below my heart and above my diaphragm. 279 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,940 Who sings here? 280 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:47,200 Other than Jen, who's the singer? 281 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,360 What do we use to sing? 282 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,000 Your diaphragm. 283 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,160 That's where all the power, all the belting out, all of the control. 284 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:59,620 Yes, there's vocals involved and all of that beautiful stuff. 285 00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:05,760 But a lot of control has to do with your diaphragm. 286 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:06,760 Is that a coincidence? 287 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:11,480 No, that's a God incidence. 288 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:17,840 I'm claiming healing and victory now that below my heart and above my diaphragm, there's 289 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,580 no more cancer. 290 00:19:20,580 --> 00:19:27,300 Because I know that God didn't give me a heart of worship for nothing. 291 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:33,100 And I'm claiming that he's going to continue to heal my body. 292 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:38,500 So we asked the question of have you ever been speechless? 293 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,880 And what was that emotion? 294 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:50,800 So after having so much faith going into surgery and in the hospital, I remember coming home 295 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,600 and laying in bed. 296 00:19:53,600 --> 00:20:01,080 And when I would go to open my mouth to sing, nothing would come out. 297 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:08,000 And I remember wanting to pray and no words would come out. 298 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,160 I was so sad. 299 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,320 Like what's going on? 300 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,360 Like am I doubting? 301 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:15,360 Do I not have faith? 302 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:24,520 I just remember being so sad in that moment that nothing would come out. 303 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:28,620 And just in that moment, a friend of mine sent me a song. 304 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:33,200 It's Hear My Heart by Jeff and Sheri Easter. 305 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:40,240 The chorus says, when there are no words to say and no prayer that I can pray, hear my 306 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,480 heart. 307 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:49,560 When I don't have strength to try and I've cried all I can cry, hear my heart. 308 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,680 Because you know every fear and every doubt. 309 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,960 I cannot speak. 310 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:59,000 You know all the ways I need you and all the ways I'm weak. 311 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,480 So I'll be quiet so you can hear my heart. 312 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:07,480 Lord, I'll be quiet so you can hear my heart. 313 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:12,360 Is it a coincidence that my friend sent me that in that moment? 314 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,360 Absolutely not. 315 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,960 It's a God incidence. 316 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:21,200 When I read that, those lyrics, she sent me the lyrics and then she sent me the song. 317 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,480 I couldn't relate more. 318 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:29,880 And I told her, you do not know how much I needed that because in that moment I knew 319 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:34,520 that God was still with me and that he could hear my heart. 320 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,880 In the midst of those trials, in the midst of whatever you're going through, know that 321 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:43,920 God can hear your heart. 322 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:48,380 How can God hear you through your silence? 323 00:21:48,380 --> 00:21:52,720 How does that work? 324 00:21:52,720 --> 00:22:02,640 Psalms 46 10 says, be still and know, recognize and understand that I am God. 325 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,280 I will be exalted among the nations. 326 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,840 I will be exalted in the earth. 327 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:13,240 Be still and know that I am God. 328 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:18,640 Why is it so hard for us to be still? 329 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,100 We're reactive by nature. 330 00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,980 We're very solution oriented. 331 00:22:23,980 --> 00:22:25,760 We're going through a hard time. 332 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,400 We're going through a difficult moment. 333 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,900 We want to find the solution. 334 00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:31,440 We want to resolve. 335 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,460 We want to reach out. 336 00:22:33,460 --> 00:22:34,540 We want to be there. 337 00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:38,320 We're very reactive by nature. 338 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:39,800 Why is it so hard to be still? 339 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:47,360 There's so much noise, both in our hearts, in our souls and outside in society. 340 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,960 We're always multitasking. 341 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,120 What are we thinking in this moment? 342 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,120 What's for lunch? 343 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:58,320 Anybody thinking about that? 344 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:02,400 What's for community tables later? 345 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:03,800 What does this week look like? 346 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,440 How busy am I going to be? 347 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,560 What do I need to schedule? 348 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:07,560 What do I need to prepare? 349 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,400 Do I need to do my laundry today? 350 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,460 What do we need to do? 351 00:23:12,460 --> 00:23:14,440 Why is it so hard to be still? 352 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:20,600 Psychologically, we're conditioned to feel guilty when we're not productive, even to 353 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,200 pray or rest. 354 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,480 We feel like it's a waste of time. 355 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:36,160 The world we live in right now values wealth, competition, high productivity, full schedules, 356 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,440 and that feeling of self-importance. 357 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,600 What can we volunteer for? 358 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:46,520 What else can we do to fill our busy schedules? 359 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:56,960 But in those moments of quietness and stillness, God can hear your heart. 360 00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:01,000 While we're going through trials and tribulations, we don't know the outcome. 361 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,120 We don't know what's going to happen. 362 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:11,080 It's always great to have people next to you, a church beside you that supports you, that 363 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,680 calls you, that checks in with you. 364 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:23,080 I cannot tell you how all of the support from my friends and family have really, really, 365 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,040 really encouraged me. 366 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,040 I have good days. 367 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,680 I have bad days. 368 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:34,400 And when people ask how you're doing, I say, I take the good with the bad and I make the 369 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:39,480 best of it. 370 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:50,640 I take my trust in God in proclaiming healing in my body 371 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,000 and just continue to trust. 372 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:56,400 Proverbs 3 verses 5 through 6 say, we have to trust. 373 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:02,640 Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all of your heart and do not rely on 374 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,800 your own insight or understanding. 375 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:11,520 In all of your ways, know and acknowledge and recognize him and he will make your path 376 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:19,800 straight and smooth, removing obstacles that block your way. 377 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:20,840 Obstacles could be trials. 378 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:28,760 They could be the things that come into your life to stop you from the smooth ride of faith. 379 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:29,760 Right? 380 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:33,320 Does anybody think that faith is a smooth ride? 381 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,880 Absolutely not. 382 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:42,240 But the word of God says trust and he will make your path straight and smooth. 383 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:46,640 That's really hard to do when we're going through things, when we're so quick to resolve, 384 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:52,560 when we're so quick to be reactive, when we're so quick to do and stay busy and occupy our 385 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,440 minds. 386 00:25:55,440 --> 00:26:00,880 But be still and know that he is God. 387 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:05,680 How can we strengthen our heart when we're going through trials? 388 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:15,680 Emotionally, we can protect our space, create meaningful relationships. 389 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:20,840 If you don't have any meaningful relationships, I encourage you to find friends that encourage 390 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,880 you and support you. 391 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:29,760 Create boundaries, process our feelings instead of suppressing them, validate where we're 392 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:35,640 feeling and what we're doing in that moment, being present and recognize what you can control 393 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,520 and what you can't control. 394 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:49,000 Hobbes 4, 20-23 about guarding our heart says, and I just, this is one of my favorite verses 395 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,160 and I always refer back to the heart. 396 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:53,280 There's a picture for this one. 397 00:26:53,280 --> 00:27:03,120 It just says, my son, pay attention to my words and be willing to learn. 398 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:05,680 Open your ears to my sayings. 399 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,340 Do not let them escape from your sight. 400 00:27:08,340 --> 00:27:15,040 Keep them in the center of your heart for they are life to those who find them and healing 401 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,160 and health to all their flesh. 402 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:26,560 Watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flows the spring of life. 403 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:31,720 How can we take of our heart, take care of our heart physically? 404 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:41,560 Health care is very important, scheduling time in the morning to worship, to center 405 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,760 yourself. 406 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:51,400 Create a space in your home if you have to, that private intimate space that you can create 407 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:59,240 to worship God and be intentional on relaxing and quieting your mind. 408 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:06,600 Romans 8, 37-39 regarding our victory in Christ says, yet in all these things we are more 409 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:12,240 than conquerors and gain an overwhelming victory through him who loved us so much that he died 410 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:13,240 for us. 411 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:20,720 For I am convinced and continue to be convinced beyond any doubt that neither death nor life 412 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:27,000 nor angels nor principalities nor things present and threatening nor things to come nor powers 413 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:33,700 nor height or depth nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the 414 00:28:33,700 --> 00:28:38,360 unlimited love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 415 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:44,040 Do you think that takes care of our physical barriers just a tad? 416 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:48,440 I'm going to read that one more time. 417 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:53,940 It says I am convinced beyond that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities 418 00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:59,920 nor things present and threatening nor things to come nor powers nor height nor depth nor 419 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:08,160 any other created thing will be able to separate us from the unlimited love of God. 420 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:15,080 How can we take care of our hearts spiritually and continue to worship through trials? 421 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,760 Memorizing scripture. 422 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:23,360 There's moments in our life where maybe you don't remember anything but be still and know 423 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,280 that I'm God. 424 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:30,120 I used to cheat all the time when I was in Bible classes. 425 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:34,800 Whoever could tell me a verse by memory that was my favorite one, be still and know that 426 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:35,800 I am God. 427 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:45,560 It's a short one but memorizing scripture, being prayerful, giving thanks and everything, 428 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:49,840 it's really hard to do. 429 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:56,880 And being still, make a playlist of breakthrough worship. 430 00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,680 There's a difference between worship and songs that you love while you're cleaning or that 431 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:05,440 you're in the car and that you love and then there's breakthrough worship songs that really 432 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,400 really speak to your spirit. 433 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,960 I encourage you all that if you don't know what breakthrough worship is or if you don't 434 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:20,880 have a playlist, contact Greg, contact me, Jen, anybody else that does worship here of 435 00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:26,560 breakthrough songs because that is what got me through after surgery. 436 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:34,400 I couldn't, nothing would come out of my mouth but I played worship all night on my phone, 437 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:35,400 all day. 438 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,440 I put the phone right here. 439 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,720 It would fall in the cracks of the bed sometimes. 440 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:47,880 It would fall under the bed but I would literally go to sleep to worship because that is the 441 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:54,440 only thing that brought peace to my heart in that moment. 442 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:58,760 So find worship songs that really touch your spirit. 443 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:05,560 When I say that God has been with me all my life and in every way, there's a song that 444 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:13,960 I learned when I was young and every time that I doubted, every time that I was sad, 445 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:21,800 especially leaving home to go to college, I remember just walking to my classes and 446 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,280 belting out. 447 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:39,200 I love you Lord and I lift my voice to worship you. 448 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:58,480 Oh my soul rejoice, take joy my King in what you hear. 449 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:11,440 May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear. 450 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:18,040 And that song I took with me all through my childhood in college when I felt alone, when 451 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:26,000 I felt moments of despair, I just belted it out and for some reason I felt peace. 452 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:31,240 Every single time I felt peace afterwards. 453 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:36,400 Worshipping through trials is one of the best things that you can do for your spirit, for 454 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,880 your life. 455 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:46,640 Being still, not being so reacting, finding outward ways to fix things, difficulties at 456 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:52,400 work, have you tried praying through them? 457 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:57,120 Have you just been still and asked God what he wants from you? 458 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,160 In your relationships? 459 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,480 Are you in an unhealthy relationship? 460 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,940 Have you asked God? 461 00:33:04,940 --> 00:33:09,720 Have you been still and prayed through those moments? 462 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:18,480 Worshipping through your trials? 463 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:24,800 Psalms 86, 11 through 13 regarding spiritual growth, teach me your way oh Lord. 464 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:28,560 I will walk and live in your truth. 465 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:35,920 Direct my heart to fear your name with all inspired reverence and submissive wonder. 466 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:42,020 I will give thanks and praise you oh Lord my God with all of my heart and will glorify 467 00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:45,520 your name forevermore. 468 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:50,440 For great is your loving kindness and graciousness toward me. 469 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:58,600 You have rescued me, my life and the depths of Sheol. 470 00:33:58,600 --> 00:33:59,600 So what's next? 471 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,280 You know you're going through a trial and you don't know the outcome right? 472 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:08,440 Well I have three more months of chemo to go. 473 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,640 Some of you have laughed with me as I introduce you to different wigs. 474 00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:18,600 This is Sheila. 475 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:23,480 Last week I had on Raquel and nobody knew. 476 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:27,440 But it's still a journey. 477 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,760 I still need all of your prayers and your support and the text messages and those moments 478 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:36,340 where I'm really down or at my worst. 479 00:34:36,340 --> 00:34:38,340 Just hey just checking on you. 480 00:34:38,340 --> 00:34:41,080 Praying for you. 481 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,320 Let me know if you need anything. 482 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:48,400 Those are the moments that fill my heart to know that I have so much love and support. 483 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,240 Do I have days where I fear the unknown? 484 00:34:51,240 --> 00:34:53,800 Do I have days where I'm like what if this chemo doesn't work? 485 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,520 Am I going to be able to continue life and see my kids grow up? 486 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,000 Like yeah those days come. 487 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,440 But there's better days. 488 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:07,620 The better days outweigh the bad ones and knowing that I can worship through these moments 489 00:35:07,620 --> 00:35:14,480 and knowing that I have God in my faith and my family and everybody around me is helpful. 490 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:19,360 So there's one more picture that I wanted her to throw up there. 491 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:23,800 I finally threw in the towel but God threw it back and said wipe your face girl. 492 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:38,480 We're almost there.