Do we all bring our pictures of our lost and found? I thought that was a thing.
I did. I didn't. It was my assignment. So I didn't.
So will we get a husband in other weeks? I almost brought the item.
I totally forgot. But then I didn't want to because I couldn't
find a bag. I didn't want to touch it. We should talk about some runner-ups.
Oh, okay. One of the runner-ups was a prosthetic leg.
But I don't have that one. I didn't choose that one.
All right. Now on that note, welcome back to your tale from the service industry.
I'm your host. I'm Bill. Tonight we are rejoined by Mike.
Hello. Welcome back. Welcome back.
I didn't know if you were pointing at me or want me to pull your finger.
Our listeners won't see you pointing. Get some good radio noise.
And as always, Ms. B. Hey, guys.
And Liz, the resident deviant. Hi, team.
So Mike, it's been a while, man. Has been a while.
We appreciate you coming first and foremost. It's always fun.
I usually have to take a couple weeks off just to gather some more information,
some more stories. It's always a solid journey.
Come back and usually just whatever creams to the crop or goes to the top is said.
And you guys are like, Oh, my God. Did you mean the rhyme?
No, no. Oh, that was good.
He's a poet. Did you know it? You're definitely not.
I know. The episodes that you've been on have been some of my favorite.
And once I've laughed like the hardest. So you're going to have to tell me,
have you had any flying blow up ladies recently? No, we have not any flying blow up.
Wow. Okay, that's good. But we have, we did have something fall though.
Okay. So are we getting right into it? Yeah, we're jumping in.
We're jumping in. I love it.
So I've had a crow's nest. Crow's nest is literally crow's nest right in front of my.
Like the bird. Yeah. Okay.
Huge. It's probably, I think the specialist told me it was probably about 12 to 13 inches in diameter.
Wow. It's a large nest, right?
Big ass bird. Oh, the nest, not the bird.
And so I scheduled to have it taken down by. I was thinking like the wingspan of the bird.
No, the nest. Oh, that's huge.
It's a huge nest. So call specialists take care of the nest.
Okay. He in turn calls the county because it is a bird's nest. It's protected.
What? Yep. So they both come out here.
It is on the sign. So it's obviously about 40 feet in the air. Okay.
Right above the port of Cachet. Right.
You can access it a little bit closer from the second because you hop on the port of Cachet's
roof. Okay.
Possibly reach it, but you're still a good solid 30 feet.
How did y'all like scope this out? How did you see it for the first time?
Or did you see the crow like flying around? Indications were their poop.
That'll do it. Everywhere.
Okay. That was kind of dumb. Everywhere.
Gravity works. And the mess and also the amount of sticks that would fall there. They were
billing this thing. I was like, those guys are a solid bush. So anyway, literally we're both
staring at this. The guy from the county is like, we can't take this nest down.
What? Yeah. Could have eggs and it could be
protected. So carry it. I was like, so these birds go to the bathroom all the time.
And they're saying you have to just like keep them there. Yeah.
It's not a protected bird, but I know they're scared.
Hurt the desk. You have to have someone staffed ready to clean it all points of day and night.
That's crazy. Yeah.
Increase your payroll budget. There you go. And right after the specialist, the guy who's going
to schedule to knock it down goes, well, at least we care about the birds. Oh my.
Out of right field comes got it. And it just drops and just splatters everywhere.
Wait, the nest? Yeah.
So who says that was an accident? My, my workers devised a little stick to stick up there
and knock it down on the thing. They're on the roof or they are on the portrait shades roof.
Yeah. To knock it down in front of the specialist.
Yeah. And I was like, is that thing is always like, no, it's down now. He goes, but.
So now I can remove it because it fell. He saved me a whole bunch of money.
Oh my gosh. I will say though,
an all disclaimer, because I don't want to get any in trouble here. No birds or eggs were harmed in
the harnessing of doing these motion. So there wasn't eggs?
No, there was nothing in it. It was just a nest. There was probably birds flying in and out of it
because the mess, but there was nothing else in there. Okay. Well, that's, that's good.
I don't know if you guys know birds nest that well, but I'm not kind of Navy.
I'm an expert. Yeah.
I'm just kidding. There's a lot that goes into those nests
from when they get that large. So there was just branches everywhere.
Oh my gosh. It looked like a tree fell.
That's crazy. Yeah. A 12 foot net.
It was everywhere. Yeah. 12 inch.
Heck no. It was, it was huge. It was probably was like this big, like a, yeah, 12, 13 inches.
Oh my gosh. What ruler are you using?
That's like a good 16. Is it?
I was going to say that's like 24. Okay. Hold your hands up. How big was it?
Like how the man says it's just a larger.
Size doesn't matter.
Okay. So I'm another serious question. That's 16 maybe.
That's at least 20 inches across. I was going to say 18 to 20.
20 inches. Fair enough.
But now we need to also include instead of just a lesson on commas and decimal points,
we need to talk about units of measure. Yeah, we do.
Okay. I have another serious question. I think we both work in a similar area.
Yes. A really fun area.
How many individuals do you have to deal with on a daily basis,
getting them to stop going to the restroom in or around your property?
Homeless. We're talking about homeless. Yeah. I'll say it.
Realistically, the numbers probably all have five to 10.
A day. But the biggest thing ever is that I
solve the issue. How did you solve it?
I'm still dealing with this. Took off the handle and put
install the lock to it. So now you have to get the key from the desk.
That's okay. Wait, do you have to ask for the key or ask for the code?
Cause you were set a much larger hotel in mine. So.
It's smaller. Them going in the bathrooms are not our
biggest problem. No.
So. In the bushes?
So. So what are your number one and number two biggest problems?
So this was literally, I think this was last week.
I am leaving the hotel and this happens constantly.
I'm leaving the hotel. I'm pulling out. So there's like a stop sign, right?
And I'm just watching traffic go by waiting to make a right turn.
But on my left-hand side, directly next to me is my hotel.
And I'm kind of just waiting for the traffic to stop, but I see like a movement.
And so I look and there's someone climbing into the bushes.
Of my hotel. And I immediately like, look at them, you know,
given the glare and I rolled down my window and I said, you need to get out,
get out of the bushes out. And she's like, she looks me dead in the eyes and says, no.
And then I'm like, excuse me. She's like, I gotta take a.
And I, my mouth is completely agape and I'm like, well, you can't do it here.
Like you need to go somewhere else. And she's like, no, I don't let me.
And while she's saying this, she's now behind the bush. So I can only see like chest and up.
She is taking a squat, pulling down her pants and just yelling at me while taking my bush.
And yeah, that's quite the multi-task.
It was actually in a different area, but very similar. Okay.
So, uh, I, I basically created a huge fit because my lawn was dying on my hotel.
Okay. Care wise. So I got ahold of the guy. It's kind of hard to get hold of.
Is this where I think it's going? So he wants to test out all the
sprinklers. He thinks they're broken. Okay. So I go behind the dumpster.
I just remind all the homeless that do use it for a bathroom.
And I was like, Hey guys, you guys gotta go. They're like, yes, off as they're, you know,
pooping and going on stuff like that. And I was like, okay, well guys, this is,
and also to just start spraying everywhere. Water sprinklers flying everywhere.
Yeah. The restroom is now closed.
It was flooded. Yeah. I tried warning them to be honest, disclaimer, nothing bad happened.
See, I'm heartless. I said we should set up like one of those motion detector ones,
because like I said, it's a serious problem in our bushes that we have someone who's the
groundskeeper, right? That's basically his entire job is picking up human excrement.
My anti-vagrant hack from one of my hotels was we reprogram the sprinklers to come on
like every four hours for like two minutes. I love that.
Just gets everything wet and makes everything very uncomfortable. And they just drift it off
to other hotels. By flotation device or inner tube?
You don't want to squat in a wet lawn, I guess.
I can't imagine. It depends on how hot it is.
Wet bushes. Shoot. No.
But did you just, you were waiting for like the traffic light to go and you just had your window
rolled down, yelling at this woman. No, I rolled it down to yell at her.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what'd you do?
Was she done with her business when like the light turned green?
No. So she just was, she was just still back there by the time the light turned green.
And so as I'm driving away, I just, I call my chief engineer and I'm like,
Hey, you need to send someone out to the bushes.
This is like a common occurrence. It's most places around us, like, you know,
their doors are locked, like the coffee shop across the street. They like have signs posted.
And I think it's supposed to be a policy. They're supposed to just let everyone use the restroom.
They have signs that say restrooms are closed so that they just don't let people in.
You know, I do feel bad in that, you know, I don't know where else for them to go,
but I mean, bushes, man. That's our best option. I guess you're like kind of covered.
Go to the public park, not my hotel. But a lot of places will put like the code
and you have to like embarrassing. I even get shy, like asking like,
Hi, can I have the code for the bathroom? I get embarrassed asking.
Oh, I don't. I say need it now as I'm holding a screaming toddler.
Oh, yeah. No, I don't have a problem. We used to have a hotel person was
going to the bathroom in the stairwells. Oh, yeah. That sucks.
It just walks out like, oh, man, a dog, please.
Now we have it currently in our elevator, like our, our garage elevator. So it's like you get it.
It's horrible. And people just do that. How do they get in the garage elevator?
You don't need a key. It's just you walk into the parking structure and you go into the elevator
and they take a dump there. It's mostly pee. Oh, OK. Yeah.
Should we blame the men on that one? Oh, definitely going to blame them on that.
We don't see any funnels in there. So based on the stories that Ali shared,
it could be a woman. It could. It could. Yeah, that's true.
The accuracy, though, just hitting the wall. Oh, if it's just like ground puddle.
Yes, woman. But if there is anything like high up on the wall, like waist level, I don't know.
I mean, I can't say I stare too closely at it, but I still want to blame men on that.
Why put your limitations on that? So speaking of the rarideer,
to kind of go off of that story is actually I actually had somebody who was fixing a car
outside the back of my hotel. OK. And had to look twice at this one.
Wasn't wearing any pants. Oh, yeah.
Because that's the way we like to fix our. Yeah.
By duct tape, too. So I didn't realize she was wearing pants. I got really close and I was like,
hey, do you help? OK, stood up and behold, she actually actually had a tail behind her, too.
A tail. Yep.
I don't get it. Like a removable tail.
What? Is this real life? Oh, that is real life.
Like a furry tail? Yep. Like a furry tail.
OK. Like furry tail.
Not not a fairy tale. No, no, no.
Furry. Furry.
What? I'm guessing no undies. Nothing.
Wait, you have. No, nothing.
You have photo evidence here for us. No way. I'm actually scared.
Yeah. I don't know if I want to see that.
She stood up straight up. She's like, no, I don't need help.
I'm like, OK. No, you do.
You do need help. Oh, but nothing I can provide you with.
Oh, Lord. But yeah, it was.
How about we make some pants out of that duct tape?
Yeah. But she was fixing her vehicle with duct tape.
Yes, she was. One way to do it.
It's one way to do it. Arkansas Chrome.
That's it. But yeah, that's one's really surprised because I was not ready for it.
I should have looked. But you know me, I was jumping in action.
I think you saw enough, Mike. Yeah, I think I just.
Should have seen when I was walking into that one.
Oh, my gosh. Can't find the picture. But yeah, that happened.
No, you have to find the picture. Oh, it's it's.
It's around here somewhere. He showed it to me.
I saw the receipt. He's got it.
I think Miss B needs to see it. Yes, she does.
I'm scared. Do I? Yeah, you do.
No, it's not that bad. It's not that bad.
Crazy. I was just like, OK, this happened.
No, because I'm just visualizing my head, so probably give me worse than that.
Probably not. I would assume.
Hey, I shared my story. But you got more.
It's like a burden here or something. Did the crow follow you?
The crow followed me. That's funny.
The crow followed me. Jerks.
So is that the craziest thing that happened to your hotel recently?
No, we've had we've had others.
Oh, I had so nonchalantly. No, there was nothing.
Yeah, no, it shouldn't have surprised me, but it did just because it wasn't ready for it.
I thought I was just trying to help her out.
But how do you know they have pants on? That's insane, right?
I mean, I've definitely seen some crazy ass shoot.
Miss B, personally, have you ever gone in public like without pants on?
No. Intentionally.
Intentionally or not intentionally? No, I'm sorry.
It doesn't matter how intoxicated I am. I don't think I've ever like just like
walked out commando. Or do you think someone has like
you've worn like a long shirt or short dress?
I'm sure it may have looked like I wasn't wearing pants,
but I definitely was like shorts and a long shirt or sweater.
Yeah, of course. Oh, there it is.
Wow. Yeah.
OK, is there a tail? There is a tail.
A furry tail? A furry long tail.
She is fixing her vehicle.
You know, the story is there are always like call girls that wear this stuff.
I mean, I'm not one to throw mine in the morning time,
but it looked like she was all about it.
Your call girl?
But for the listeners, it's I think it's an oversized hoodie
that she's wearing. Oversized hoodie, no pants and a tail.
Because she threw the only reason is she threw her arms up like she was frustrated.
And you saw hoo-ha. Yeah.
Oh, everything. Oh, you saw the cookie?
Yeah, that's what that's what I'm like.
Gracious. So no evidence of that.
But no, because I just take pictures because it's probably going to wind up
the police at some moment in time.
Yeah. And the fact that I walked over there.
In your brain. Yeah, forever.
I'm always having to deal with the police.
Like, I know them way too much and talk to them way too much.
They're so they call me for a case like every other day, I swear.
It's just so annoying. Yep.
I feel you. Yeah, they usually roll in deep.
OK, I'm going to jump in here. Yeah, go.
Since Mike touched on the topic of prostitution and service workers.
So last night, I come in this morning to a recap that I thought was kind of funny.
Oh, my gosh. Did you print a shift report?
Maybe. That's amazing.
Yeah, I was going to say that's an official work document
that then lived in your backpack for the rest of the day.
Quite possibly. Read it.
Read it. Read it.
So does it start off? It was slow, but
17 pages later. Easy night until.
Yeah, we can talk about that later. But yeah, I love those two.
No, this one. So two females came to the front desk at different times
around one a.m. and two a.m. last night asking if any of our guests needed their services.
No way. And then they came back bold.
They solicited the front desk. Uh huh.
Uh huh. You never know.
And then came back shortly after with some males.
They took off after they were confronted by security because they were told that they did.
We did not accept cash. So they left shortly after.
Nine police cars were spotted directly outside the hotel at the adjacent property.
Wow. Yeah.
All said people involved with the nine police cars.
They were early trick or treaters.
Well, the trick part.
I see what you did there. Could have been tamale makers.
Do you want some more stuff? It's just in my trunk over here.
I just love the fact that like the prostitutes are coming in asking if any of the guests need
service. It's 2023.
They got they got their own website for reviews up.
That is funny. That is so funny.
Wrong kind of service workers.
Overnight, literally the craziest stuff like always happens.
Every overnight shift I've ever been stuck on has been like a shift from hell.
Listeners might not know, but the people in this room do,
that I had to do an overnight shift this last Sunday.
So Sunday to Monday because of a call out.
And it was the worst shift ever.
Not for my usual reasons. So you guys remember the last time I did one,
I had my stories because I had to keep kicking that guy out.
Yeah. So that was my last.
Yep. So I was just trying to train.
So this one, I wasn't doing any training and I didn't at all remember it in my training,
but I was just there holding down the desk.
At least you admit it.
Oh, absolutely. I wrote an email and was like the minimal training I previously had is gone.
There isn't it is not in my brain anymore. And I did my best.
Did you apologize to your like accounting department?
I bought her a sweater. So yeah, good gravel.
So I am just dreading this night on a shift. I had a really long weekend and I drive to work
and I forgot about who was in the hotel. I pull up and I'm sitting in my car and I look
and I see a ginormous tour bus. And then I remembered that we had a group checking in
that day that sales predicted was going to be a nightmare.
And I was going to be there during their one night.
Your night on it.
And I was just in my car being like cursing and just upset.
Could we get that one more time for the people in the back?
Yeah. But so I'm literally in my car so upset. I'd like texted my friends. I was telling them like,
and so I, and so I gather my strength and my tears and I walk into work.
And just as I had expected, I asked like the desk team, I'm like, how have they been?
They're like, they're horrible. They're horrible humans. They're so rude.
And I'm just like, oh, I'm so excited. And so they all straight up dip at 11. They're just out.
Wait, sorry to interrupt. Can you allude to like who it was at all?
I guess I can for you guys.
Just a little bit.
So it-
Come on, we're all family here.
It was-
Just around the dinner table. Come on.
It was a large music group whose type of music they create is rap. And they are an older music
group. So they're not like, people were talking about them. I had no idea who they were, but
apparently they were relevant at some time. But to some people, they are still relevant.
And these people sure thought of themselves as relevant. So they were that group and then
all their posse and their friends. And it was two full tour buses, two full tour buses.
How many people can fit in a tour bus?
50.
50. Okay. So a hundred people, a lot of people. And they just, yeah, it was a nightmare. So I get
in there, desk agents have like dipped because they said it was awful. And I couldn't even start.
And I got it stuff pretty much my whole shift because they, like, I would go into the back
because like all the stuff saved on the back computer.
Do you want to allude to the room block situation?
I had asked the sales manager when like she was telling us. So she told us this group was
going to be happening because it was a last minute group on Friday. And they were supposed
to be arriving Sunday. I said, Hey, can we like pre block them all on the same floor? Because she
said they're partiers. And I didn't want it to like disturb other guests. And she's like, yeah,
we could try to do that. So I come in Sunday, all the desk agents have left. And I'm like,
just tell me they're all on the same floor. And they're like, no, they're not. They are
scattered throughout the entire hotel. I think, all right, let's do this.
Can't isolate all your smoking complaints to just one floor.
They took the problem was, is they took a lot of sweets. And there's only two sweets on every
floor. So they're everywhere. And then they were just scattered throughout. Because I think at
that point, the points, it's just moot. Let me guess your salesperson that booked
it didn't Google who the group was. No, she knew. And she was cringing. She's like,
I'm really sorry. This is going to be a problem. Then why did she take it?
We needed the business on a Sunday. And if you're selling like a lot of heads and beds,
a good amount of sweets, too. Yeah. I mean, it was a decent piece of last minute business.
And the month is struggling. Look it. Yep. As an aside, yeah, there was a concert that I went to
that featured that band or that group. This is this is a bunch of years ago when they were
legitimately hot. Okay. So they were the last act. They came out on stage and they got super
combative with the crowd. The crowd walked. What? Now it was a small venue. Sounds really accurate.
These sounds like the people I was dealing with. It was a small venue that only sat five thousand
people only. And basically what happened was when they came out on stage, they were lit.
They were they were messed up. Sounds accurate. And they said something and I don't even remember
what it was, but they said something to the crowd and somebody in the crowd threw a water bottle on
the stage. They picked up the water bottle. They started yelling back at the crowd that whoever
threw that f and water bottle, you do it again. And we're out. And at that point, hundreds of
water bottles got thrown at the stage. I love that. And the crowd turned around and started to leave.
Oh, when I say started to leave, I don't mean like they were trickling out. I mean, like
literally hundreds of people every minute leaving the venue. I love that. And you were in the crowd.
Yeah. Well, we were in. He stayed. No, no, just him. At the time we were in the beer garden,
which is kind of like the back of the venue. So we could not exit immediately. It's kind of like
being in the last row of the plane. Right. Yeah. But you just had to chill and keep drinking and
watch like, well, yeah, I look, I paid for that $15 beer. I'm going to drink it. So we're sitting
there finishing our beers and literally within 15 minutes, 2000 and 2500 people already gone.
That's amazing. They ended up stopping the set. That's embarrassing. Yeah. So this group was not
fun to deal with. And I was the only one there with my security officer. So I am trying again,
keep in mind, my space is like, Oh my God, what did I learn in my last night of training? I'm like
racking my brain trying to do things, but they won't stop coming to the desk every two seconds.
None of them could keep a key to save their life. They needed a new room key. I swear just every
single one of them needed a new room key at least twice. And next time they book, make their room
keys, punch a hole in it, put it on a lanyard for them. Oh, I should have done that. That's gene.
They're gonna lose them anyway. Probably. But so they'll pass it to the left, right? No, that's
funny. Left. So I was left. Sorry. So I was like making them new room keys every two seconds,
trying to do the night audit. And then they kept coming in busloads. So they didn't, weren't like
all there at once. A lot of them came earlier, but then they're coming in like increments.
And I guess, you know, some people are still setting up or tearing down or whatever,
cause they had a show and every time a new busload came, they had so much stuff. It was like,
they were moving into the rooms. So many bags, so many boxes, like just so much. So they were using
all of our luggage carts. By the time I got there 11, there was no luggage carts. So my agents told
me they all took them and they're in their rooms because we've done a sweep of the floors. There's
no luggage carts on the floor. They have the carts in their room. So then these people of the same
group are coming with all this stuff and they're yelling at me because we don't have luggage carts.
And I said, your group has them in their room. I'm sorry, but they're the ones that are doing
this. We only have so many luggage carts. So I got yelled at for luggage carts. And then I got
these not so cute girls. I'm sorry, not so cute girls were coming up to the desk, trying to get
keys to rooms that didn't have their names on them. And was like, seriously? Like that's my name.
I was like, I don't know who you are. I don't know who they are. I'm not giving you a key.
Throwing temper tantrums. Then the guys coming up, getting all irritated with me.
And I was like, this is for your safety. And then this was them giving me, it was just the whole
night was just being given a hard time. And then the worst of them comes up. There's this guy in an
all orange, bright fricking orange sweatpants and hoodie. And he's holding a bottle of tequila in
one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. And he comes up and he just won't stop giving me a hard
time. And we lock our restrooms at night because all public areas are closed. You're supposed to
go to your room. He comes up and he's like, Hey, I need to use the restroom. I was like, okay,
there's one located in your room. All the restrooms down here are locked. And he's like,
seriously? And I was like, yes, all public areas are closed. So we would actually prefer that you
congregate in your room because this area is closed. And he was like, you're probably just
lying to me, aren't you? And I caught me off guard. I'm like, why would I lie about that?
And I told him, I was like, you can feel free to go check, but I'm not lying. And he's like,
oh, well, can you at least get me a luggage cart? And I said, your group has all of the luggage
carts and they're in their rooms because they have not bring them out. Well, then could you at least
get a bellman or something to help me? And I said, sir, it is 3.30 in the morning and there is no
bellman on. I said, it's you and me. And I said, and I have a security guy. Well, can at least he
come and help? I said, I will absolutely request him to come and help you. So he's just being so
combative with me so much so like I hadn't even called my security guy yet. And he was up there
at the desk and I'm like, how did you know? And he said he was actually on his lunch break and he was
watching the security cameras and could tell they were giving me a hard time. So he came up from his
lunch break because he could tell I was getting frustrated and they were giving me a hard time.
And then so he's like, what do you need? Come on, let's go. Like trying to get them away from the
desk. And then while still dealing with that, we have like a market gift shop. We put like this big
barrier there overnight so people don't sneak in, grab something and leave. And we tell them they
have to go to the front desk to ring it up. I saw someone push this giant barrier to the side and
was in there. So while he's still dealing with that in front of me, I go to the right and I'm like,
sir, what are you doing? This area is closed. If you'd like something, you have to come to the front
desk and I can rig it up for you. He's like, oh, no, no, no, no, it's fine. I'll grab it. I'm like,
no, that's, that's not what I said. Uh, I will grab it for you. I need you to leave. He's like,
all right, all right, one second. So he's not listening to me. He goes into the beer fridge.
He takes out like four beers and I'm like, sir, you need to put those back. And he's like, why?
And I said, you cannot buy beer at three 30 in the morning. It is closed. Why not? And he's like,
what? Why? And I said, it is literally against the law to serve beer after two o'clock.
And he looked at me and he says, that's ridiculous. I've never heard of that. You're making that up.
Fun sucker. And I'm like, I'm just blown away. I'm so irritated. I'm tired. I haven't slept.
And I'm looking at him and I said, are you serious right now? Like all my professionalism was just
like out the door. I said, are you serious right now? And he's like, yeah. And I said, put the
beer back. And I said, it is California state liquor law. We cannot serve any alcohol past two
AM. And he's like, well, I've been in California a lot. How come I've never heard of that? And I
said, I don't know, but while you've been here, have you gone to any bars? Yeah. Said, what time
do they close? Pause two. Why do you think that is? Oh, well, I never thought of that. And I'm like,
okay, put the beer down. And then this proceeded to happen with other individuals keeping, trying to
come in and take my beer. And I'm like losing my mind. I would have just probably pulled all the
beer from the fridge. I would. If you had a second, if you had a second to, you probably would have.
Uh huh. And then there's so much alcohol in it. It would have taken me forever to get every little
thing out. So on top of the tour, like a tour and travel group. Okay. So very similar, but
not of the same era. These guys are just here to see, um, the area we live in sites here. So this
was, so do you have a backstory in this one? Yeah. They came to see dirt. Yeah. Pretty much. No, no, this is
a different area. So to give you a backstory on this general manager, who's probably the most
craziest general manager ever had. He was, uh, no, not bill. Go on. That hurt. So he's like,
there's no way he's probably listening. He's been retired for years, but he was, the guy was insane.
He was totally, he's from, he was originally from New York and he had a temper tantrum problem.
He would go crazy. If you, if you're rain, he was an HR nightmare. He would call you out,
tell women to get makeup on themselves, like cut their nails. Men, like if you had a facial hair,
he'd go off on you in the middle of nowhere. So we have this tour, brand new tour and travel group.
We're trying to get different type of clientele in the group and they have a buffet. Okay. Okay. So
he comes in, it was normal routine around 10 o'clock smoking in the lobby, lobby smoking, not like,
yep. Yep. Used to do it all the time. Oh, my GM. Yeah. That's funny. Yep. He walks right up to the
desk as I'm walking with this guest from the tour and travel group. He's going nuts. Oh God. He's
like, Oh my God, this effing buffet smells like garbage. He goes, what is this stuff? Looks like
green slop on here. It just reeks. He goes, what are we coming to? And I'm like, sir, the,
we're gonna have some problems. The, uh, the guy right here, he's a part of the tour group
and his face just turned red. Cause you could hear everything he said. Oh God. And I was like,
but he only speaks banter and we have a translator. He's like, we don't have one.
So the breakfast is culturally culturally. Yeah. Okay. Culture oriented. Oh, that's funny.
It actually was a really good breakfast, but it was just how he was. He was very
adamant and in the morning time, it sounds like it'd be so entertaining to work for. I can't say
long-term like, but he really wasn't because he was, he was mean. He understood the hospitality
industry, but he was very one-sided and his management style was just to call you out.
You're always nervous because it doesn't know, but he spent a lot of time in the office. He
really did. He wasn't one to move around or this was a full service property. He didn't really
ever deal with guests. You get it around. That's why I'm asking. You get it around 10 o'clock
and he would usually look around three. Oh, nice. I want those hours. Yeah. Oh my God. That sounds
entertaining as heck. But they had the one, I just felt bad. I was like, bad if he heard that,
like it's just bad because it's a good breakfast. It was very well thought out, but like, but it
could be a strong smell. It was. Yeah. It's like I said, you just got to get used to it because
culturally we're just starting to use to it and because it was smelling eggs and bacon. Yeah.
Like, yeah, that's funny. Yeah. Oh, quick go back. So remember how I told you I didn't buy a sweater.
Oh, one member of that group who was actually a nice human, he asked, he's like, would you mind
helping me? And like, you don't ask nicely. And I'm like, of course you asked nicely, whatever you
need. So I'm helping him lug and I was helping him store his stuff for the next morning. So I
didn't have to bring it up to his room and he was so grateful. And he's like, Oh, that's nice of you.
Yeah. And he's like, would you happen to want a sweater? I'm like, no, I'm okay. Like I was like,
not my cup of tea. And he's like, are you sure? And then I thought about it. And I remembered my
accounting girl loves them and wanted to come in on a Sunday just to see them. So I was like,
Oh, she's going to be the one cleaning up my mess. So I'm going to get her one. I was like, actually,
yes, I need that. So when the night was a mess, I got a free hoodie and I left it on her desk at
the, sorry, thanks for fixing my mess. And then she was more than happy to fix my mess. And she
went around showing off that sweater all day long. That's cute. But like ours is like in your car,
right? Cause you got, you got sweaters for, you know, your pod co-host. I'm so sorry guys. I only
got one for the person who cleaned up my mess. That's the only reason I showed up to this day.
Cut the cord. All right. That's a wrap. You know, it actually was really good to piggyback
off of that. We actually had a country singer show up really nice. And so, uh, the woman working on
the desk really recognized this country singer and, um, she was nervous about what to say.
Yeah. And so I said to him and he's like, Oh no, I know what I had to take care of. I was like,
could you go and say hi to her? Cause she's like shy and she didn't know what to say. So we went
to her and, uh, I was at the desk while he was with her and he goes, you obviously know who I am.
He goes, if you can name a song, I have a guitar. I'll play that song. No, shut up. She was like,
the brain fart. I'm like, Oh God, at this moment in time, I can remember one here. She literally
riddled off the whole album. She got a song and sure enough, they played. Yep. Well, he played,
he played the song. That is amazing. He was pretty spot on. He didn't think that he's like,
I'm pretty old, our country singer. So it's really nice to hear that. And, um, he gave, um,
guitar picks. It was really nice. Like it was really nice. He didn't have to do that. I don't
get many nice celebrities, so that's cool. He was really nice though. He's like, I'll take it from
here. He's like all about it. He likes, he was like, he wanted to like interact with the fan.
Yeah. He was super excited. He's, I was like, yeah, did everyone get photos? Most of the front
desk staff actually knew who he was. And he's actually mainstream. Most of them won't stop by
the desk. Like we had really famous ones. They don't even, someone never even leave the desk.
He actually got a room on the first floor to help one of his crew because he has a hard time walking.
Oh my God. Nice human garbage I've gotten. I know. Speaking of nice humans, we should take a quick
little pause here because we have a nice human who has shared items with us to be opened at the pod.
A listener gift. Wow. I'm so excited because I've been staring at this box and these scissors and
I've been wondering what it was. I'm super excited that you brought it. Well, we didn't really,
I mean, Bill and I gave a little backstory, but Miss B didn't get the backstory. Okay.
Should I open this box? Wait, so what is this? Who is this from? Do we know it's not ticking?
No, it's not ticking. It's not ticking. Okay. It's from, um, probably our most dedicated listener.
Oh, I'm so excited. Thank you. Listener. You mean the number one talk crap radio show
does have to worry about bomb threats. Our mail has to be very carefully instructed.
From this listener? No, I don't think she would, um, threaten my life. Eat crap, love the homeless.
These scissors are pretty sharp. I'm like kind of scared. Don't cut yourself.
You asked for scissors. I give you the best. We don't, the medic. I need the child scissors.
Rounded tip. Oh my God.
Well, okay. This is funny. Oh my God. It just keeps going. Tiny bottles of vodka and a lot of straws.
A lot of straws. Wait, are there 500? Oh, I don't know. Oh God. Okay. These are a lot of straws.
Whoa. No, these are more. Oh my God. Another hundred. This is so many straws. Oh my God. Another
hundred and so many booze is okay. We're gonna have a good night for our listeners. Um, if you
don't understand this joke, you need to go back and listen to the episode titled 500 straws for
Christmas. We will go ahead and post a photo. Oh my gosh. We put all these in all of the straws
we received from this phenomenal listener and booze. This is ridiculous. Oh my God. This listener's
amazing. 1800 is my fave. Is it really not sponsored 1800 tequila is my fave. Please tell me there's
Titos. Yes, there is. Are we going to take a shot on this show? That's what we're doing. Wait, what
are these straws? Where can you find these bamboo straws? Reusable bamboo straws. Do you dishwash
these? These dishes are safe. Guys, every alcohol is sponsored here. Fireball. Oh, I don't like fireball. Would you like to give a little background?
Um, no, I would just say, I would just say go listen to the episode. But yeah, you can, you can
fill them in on the background. It's a great story. All I will say is, um, Liz has a straw. Yes, I do.
I have a straw problem. I these are big shots. Like these little nibs are more than a shot. Yeah, Liz, we have the best fans ever.
You may have a, you may have a straw addiction, but at the moment you don't have a problem.
The problem is now solved. You got straws till like 2025. Oh my gosh. Okay, let's see. Uh, one, two,
three, 50. I mean, these four things are 500 straws right there. That's 120 in my hand. Oh my God. So 520 plus
another 100. So 620 straws. I think that'll yeah 2025. That was a good guess. You know what I like the most about all of this? I'm so excited. The booze.
No, yes. But no, I like the assortment. There is a veritable cornucopia of straws. These are like cocktail straws. It looks like they went to multiple different stores to get
all these straws. These are solid, flexible straws. This looks like a chocolate milk or a smoothie on the front. Um, I love the patriotic straws. These, these are
really good. Like either soda, water, ice coffee, party paper straws. That is for, oh, that'd be good for your greens in the boba straws. Those are bamboo.
Yeah. For a boba. See how they're big. That's so you can sip boba guys. Okay. Miss B is taking the boba straws. Oh my God. That's so cool. That is the funniest part of it. The bamboo straws.
Okay. So a little bit of tidbit that you'd mention about party and this has nothing to do with hotels. Just to go off on a side side note here. Okay. Is everybody from California in Michigan? There's party stores that has a lot of things.
Like party city. Okay. A case in point. My wife's like, you mean party city? I'm like, no, like party store. Don't you guys have party stores? Like party city. She's like, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm like, they have pizza. It's the greatest pizza ever. They have groceries. What? Yeah. They have all the alcohol you could think of. They're called party stores in Michigan, but you don't have them in California. It sounds like a grocery store. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you go and consume all of these things or do you go and buy? You just purchase them. It's like a good party. So this isn't like a Chuck E. Cheese for adults. No, no. It's like a convenience store, but you guys don't have any and they're called party stores.
Do they sell decor? Yeah. And the food? Oh yeah. And the booze? Yeah. Oh nice. It's like a one stop shop everywhere. And like, it's so funny because it blows my wife's mind every time she hears another story about a party store.
I mean here you would have to go to party city. Okay. And then probably like, what, Costco? No, Costco. I'm sorry. For the listeners, Costco is the only and best place to get booze. Yeah. My bachelorette party was basically sponsored by them. And if that's news to you, you walk your booty down and go get a Costco card. Oh yeah. And the gas is cheap.
When my family came, she started asking questions because she hasn't been to Michigan yet. Well, she has now, but at the time she hasn't, she started asking questions and more stuff part popping up. She's like, so what's at a party store? Like, oh, best pizza in the world. I was like, oh yeah. Yeah. Like, oh yeah. You get your balloons there. You get your, you get your stuff for your party there. They got alcohol there. They got, they got costume designs. They have costumes. They have masks there. You can do your, they have makeup counters. And my wife's like, what the? Until she walked into one. It was literally everything she ever hoped in her life. She's like, oh, funny. Yeah.
This is a party store. And the guy in the car was like, yeah, every day is a party. That's amazing. I wonder if our listener went to this party store. Thank you listener for all this fun goodies. It's just the party. The whole party thing kind of reminds me of that.
Because you guys don't have it in here. They're everywhere in Michigan. That's so funny. Yeah. I've never just a random tidbit. I've never heard of something like that. It sounds like me the first time I walked into a Fred Meyers. What's that? I don't even know what that is. It's like a department store, Pacific Northwest, Alaska.
Oh, yeah, you literally can buy everything from raviolis to shotguns to outboard ATVs. It's crazy. Oh, like a Bass Pro Shop and Walmart and Costco combined. Yes. I need to leave my state more. I don't know about Costco, but because it's not big bulk. Yeah. If all of those got together had a baby and then that baby only did upper body and never leg day. Yes.
Nice. That's an analogy I can understand. Look, I speak to my audience. I like to break it down. Okay, so side note. Miss B is obsessed with the tiny tequila. It's so tiny. You all have a homework assignment. I did. Did you fail? The homework assignment that you're talking about is our lost and found challenge, right? So the day after we recorded. Oh, okay. I went to my housekeeping supervisor and I said, Hey,
give me something weird. No, no. I said, Hey, I know this is going to sound weird, but I have a homework assignment. Yeah. And I didn't give her the background because I don't really, I don't really advertise to my immediate peeps what we do on the side, right? So I just kind of alluded to the fact that my friends and I who are also in the industry have a little challenge going on. I said the same thing. I said I meet together with my hotel friends. And we were friends. I'll count you.
And basically, I just played it off as we're playing a drinking game. Perfect. Okay. Yeah, accurate. We're playing a drinking game on the wildest thing that we can find in our respective loss and found. And she looked at me with the look of sadness in her eye and said, We just purged all of the expired loss and found.
How often do you expire it? 90 days? So every 90 days, they go back and everything that was there prior to 90 days gets distributed amongst the team and whatever is not claimed gets dumped and nothing within those like 90 days that had just occurred was like good enough.
Honestly, I looked through the log and everything was boring as vanilla. There was nothing good. So I will freely take the L on this one. Somewhere in my archives, I have photos of crazy stuff. So I can give an honorable mention but I am not in this competition.
So my team's a little weird. Interesting. We log our lost and found. If it is brought up to the front desk, sometimes it kind of sits back there a little bit. But sometimes they kind of become a part of the office until they're claimed. Okay, so we currently have a master's degree on our wall that we've collectively decided is our master's degree.
But like someone's name and their university. Absolutely. People go, What is that? We go, It's lost and found. We don't know. So it's our master's grades on the wall. And then we have like random items. And this is one of those items. So this was just turned in like as you said this episode, like he's literally sitting there on one of the computers now. And he's a lost and found item and he
is sitting on one of the computers. We've named him. Okay, is your pet? Is it alive? We've named him Jerry. Does it have a heartbeat? Oh my god. Wait, he's so cute. No, he's not. He's kind of creepy. But like kind of from far away. He looks kind of cute, right? Far away looks cute until you look at his face really quick. So this is like a long armed like plush thing. It is a doll of some kind. It's a
demonic looking. He has lots of teeth and fangs, big eyes, this pink fluffy body with yellow feet and hands and his head is kind of shaped like a tooth. Like it's a kind of thing that you would think just goes, at all times. It's something that you would find in like a nightmare. Can we make that the cover art for the episode? This guy? That guy? Totally. I'll send it to you. So this is Jerry and he's currently a part of our
office now next to our master's degree. Okay, so I think you have a winner. So I will go next. Go ahead. So this technically was never logged in lost and found. This was just something that was lost and claimed very promptly after the person found out it wasn't like in their pocket. Okay. So we have complimentary child care at my facility. This parent, who is the owner of this
item, he has a lot of complimentary child care at my facility. This parent walks in and drops off his children. And I think he sets this item down where they sign in and he leaves and my staff, I find all of this out very after the fact and I have coached them on what to do differently. But he left a sort of pen that you inhale from.
Yeah, we got to. And so the staff sees it and pockets it. And it's like, I know exactly what this is. And I know exactly who left it here. So I'm going to pocket it and see if this guy fesses up to be like, hey, I left my weed pen in here. Do you find it? So a couple days go by and my way. Yeah. And my staff sees him again at the facility and goes, Hey, have you lost anything recently?
And he's like, what are you talking about? And this is okay. Let's let's put in perspective. This is like a 40 year old male talking to a 20 year old female. And I'm like the cojones on her, dude. You missing anything? And he goes, what do you mean? And she goes, I think you might have left something while dropping off your kids in the childcare area. And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about. And she finally fesses up and like pulls it out of her pocket, which every single day.
Which every single shift it is in her pocket. Oh my God. That's not good. She could, I know, I know, she could get fired. I know. And she like slightly like pulls it out of her pocket and was like this. And he goes, Oh my God, that's where it was. And he tells this young woman, Oh, well, did you take any hits off of it? And she's like, no, but like, I didn't tell anyone you can have it back. And he goes, honestly, like, no, you can keep it if you want it.
Like, I don't really like need it. He probably has another one. I don't know. I would have totally made a joke. I'd be like, I meant to drop that off another kid. So yeah, like end of the story, he gets his weed pen back. She's like, no, I really don't want it. Like, here you go. Oh my God. I think he tipped her like for giving it back. But technically was never lost and found. Well, you know, I know what his is, and it fits perfectly with that. Oh, my God. Okay, batter up, Mike. So just a little bit of a
backstory is I kind of heard about this. When did you tell me that yesterday this was going to happen or two days ago? Two days ago. So I ran. I got super excited. So bear in mind my supervisor because she's amazing. She does a wonderful job. She runs a crazy department in housekeeping and she doesn't speak a very
good English. So I asked her for awesome found because apparently she does speak some form or does understand English. Okay, come back to my office and I got about 5000 items sitting in my office. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I asked my front desk supervisor I was like, why is this all my office? And he's like, didn't you ask for all lost and found? No, I didn't. But I guess it works. And we don't throw away ours. Stuff was back from 2022. Oh, God. So final runners up was a plenty of bedpan prosthetic leg.
Clothes galore. So I had had my had my pick chargers chargers. Everything could possibly. Yeah, usually just one junk. Yeah. Or the case. Just a case. It was going to do the prosthetic leg. I thought that was interesting. How do you leave without your leg? I thought that what like you have a backup like with you? You popple out and miss it. But what one? Law and order style. We got a drug phone, a phone labeled.
Drug phone. All right, guys, we're looking at two phones side by side. Both have labels on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like from a label maker. Yeah. And one is cracked and one is not shockingly the one that is not cracked says drug phone. Do you think this was a dealer? Possibly. And then one that is cracked says coppers. What does that mean? Like copper? The cop? I don't know. The phone he calls cops on? Have you seen this? Yeah. The solid
police stations bought off for many years. That's insane. They were rubber banded together. That's funny. Maybe he's a CI or something. A drug addict. That's a snitch. So one phone that the drug dealers contact him on and another one that he talks to or the police through. And then that way you don't confuse and accidentally
dial the wrong person or send the wrong text message. But it's interesting that the drug phone is not cracked and the phone that is cracked is the one you call the cops on. Who knows what went down? Yeah. And I have these so. And I love how the label is on the screen. I thought that that was the I was like, okay, there's some crazy story behind this. That's hilarious. I'm sorry, I have to ask. Were you tempted to like plug it in and like charge it? No, I don't want nothing to do with that. Pretty sure they're like purchased cops.
And be like, how'd you get this number? Oh, God. It's just for a story. Oh, my gosh. It's just for a podcast, I promise. Any who's. On that note, guys, I think this is a good time to wrap up. Mike, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. This was so much fun. You have to come back. I need to the next one. Yeah, I know. I'm always I'm always super psyched to do it. Okay, good. We'll give you another homework assignment for next time, too, because you definitely won this one. Well, we'll text you a homework assignment. Well, please text me before.
Two days before and I will probably not have all lost and found. I was happy to know that we do have several years of lost and found still left of all junk. Yeah. Oh, that's funny. I love that. Well, it's a little bit more notice now that my housekeeping supervisors on board. I'll be able to participate. Okay. Oh, my God. Maybe we should make this a weekly segment. No, maybe quarterly. Okay. Yeah, we would fit. One of our quarterly goals because, you know, we purge every 90 days and your incentive. That makes sense. Wine. So and.
Straws. So when or lose, we win. Yes. And shots. Love it. Miss B. Thank you for being here as always. Thank you for having me guys. It's so much fun. Bill. Thank you for being our fabulous host and always. Amazingly. Oh, you're welcome. And big shout out. And thank you to our listener and number one fan for all of our fun goodies. Yeah, fun goodies. Love it.
Draws and booze. Daws. It's really all I need in life. It's like 900 straws for Halloween. Oh, yeah. That's a typical hotelier being like something small like, oh, my God, this is amazing. Very, very typical hospitality. People being so gracious for anything.
I know. Leftover banquet food. Amazing. Hey, careful. Banquet food is bomb. All right. It is. It is. It's always good. On another note, make sure to check out our website. Bill, do you want to give us an info for that? Of course.
That's www.tftsi.com. Yeah. And we have a new email. And if you want to reach us via email, it's og3 at tftsi.com. And that is og and the number three. Good thing you said that. That's nice. Right? Well, you know, we joked on the last episode that we went from being tales from the service industry at gmail.com, which is the longest possible email option I could have come up with to now the shortest possible, which is just og3 at tftsi.com. Love it.
So thanks for joining us and we will see you again in about two weeks.
Yes. Bye.