Welcome back to another Sci -Fi episode where
we continue to examine how we think, feel, and
behave with money. And we're going to continue
the review of Happy Money, The Science of Happier
Spending, a book written by Elizabeth Dunn and
Michael Norton. I incorporated this book into
the financial symposium here at Redstone Arsenal
on the 25th of March, 2025. A lot of positive
feedback based on this book. It gave folks a
new way of looking at their money. Instead of
thinking of their money as something that needed
to be increased to make them happier, it gave
them a new framework of how to become wiser with
their money, increasing wisdom and not creasing
the money itself. Increasing wisdom on how to
spend and how to consume and not necessarily
on how to increase income. So one of the things
the authors talked about, we talked about buying
experiences. We also talked about the transcendent
strawberry. We talked about different research
and scarcity being an ally when it comes to abundance
and how abundance can get us into trouble, especially
when we lose pleasure in something that has brought
us joy in the past, especially if it's a coffee.
Or for me, it was Meals Out. I shared that story
with the group. It just kind of lost its luster.
So now that we make it a treat, it's much more
enjoyable for the family. And it's the same thing
that you could do with your coffee and whatever
else you might be purchasing a little more often
than maybe you like. So now we're going to get
into buying time and what that does for us. Time
truly is our most valuable currency. And I think
folks who have a terminal illness would agree
with that. Or folks that have certain anxieties
with events would agree with that. And certainly
folks that are working full time and taking their
kids, burning up the roads, getting them from
event to event. time in and of itself is scarce.
So how could we use our time more effectively
to increase our overall subjective well -being,
which is just a clinical term for happiness.
So a lot of us will think of different electronics
or different devices or different gadgets when
it comes to buying time and one of the gadgets
that the book offers is the Roomba. So they might
think of okay I purchased this expensive vacuum
cleaner to buy myself some time while I'm away
it will do the vacuuming for me. And if you've
ever had a Roomba, I personally have not because
of the stories that I've heard in therapy sessions
about the Roomba. And by the way, this does not
imply Army endorsement and nor does it imply
an Army rejection of the Roomba. It is simply
a story to bring about the concept of buying
time. So it doesn't have to be a Roomba. By name,
it could be any vacuum cleaner or device, maybe
even a lawnmower that is supposed to perform
that job while you're gone. There are always
going to be pros and cons, but one of the cons
that I would hear most about the robotic vacuum
cleaners is if your pet... makes a mess while
you're gone. The robot is not able to differentiate
between when it should stop and when it should
continue. So I'll let you create the visual in
your head of what that looks like, the cleaning,
the repairs, and what your house might look like
when you walk into the house. We think of those
devices, we think of those gadgets, and then
it helps us justify purchasing those gadgets.
And that's all well and fine. And in fact, the
book encourages us to find those things that
are in alignment with our values that will assist
us. buying more time. One of the things that
my family and I just did, my oldest just turned
16 and she wanted a summer job, but she does
have honors and AP classes and we didn't necessarily
want her to get involved in a job that... may
give her some, I guess, motivation to continue
during the fall. It's not that we don't want
her to work. It's already hard enough without
a job to keep her schedule moving and completing
homework and having time to spend with the family,
having time to do the things that she loves.
So the family and I, we offered to allow her.
to take her sister, who's only 11, back and forth
to her practices for her sport during the summer.
So that will be her summer job, is carting her
back and forth. Because one, it makes financial
sense that my husband and I do not take work
off because it would cost a lot more money for
us to take that time off during the day to...
bus her back and forth to those practices. So
we were able to offer our oldest that job where
she'll get paid a pretty good amount to do that
for us. And it decreases the overall stress for
us, but increases her income. So it's a win -win.
So that's an example. of what you would do to
help yourself buying time. And it's the same
with other folks. There are families who, instead
of taking their children to daycare, they may
choose to hire a nanny who could bus their children
throughout the day through all of their activities
and also make dinner. I mean, there's a win -win
situation as well. So those types of things buy
time. Or... As I've done in the past, and I've
said in the past too, I've also hired my children
to do my housekeeping. Instead of paying a stranger,
I pay my children, and it's a win -win situation.
But here's the thing. Why are we even wanting
to buy time? If we're doing that and we're paying
a little more, so that we have more time that
we can spend on doing whatever we want, are we
spending that free time wisely? So there's a
difference between... prioritizing time over
possessions or possessions prioritizing time
over us. And one of the bigger things that are
discussed in that is reducing the amount of television
that we watch or the amount of scrolling that
we do on our phone. Have we truly bought time
for ourselves? If that's what we're going to
continuously engage in. And the stats on that
are pretty interesting as far as the book and
their research is concerned. We spend an average
of two months per year. Two months per year.
And there are only 12 months if you're not doing
the math. Two of those 12 months in the year
we are spending watching. television and it offers
little emotional reward when compared to other
activities. So it has diminishing returns and
too much of even an enjoyable activity can backfire.
Another one that they talked about is reducing
commuting. Longer commutes, even for better homes
or jobs, don't lead to greater happiness and
those eat into valuable time as well. Here's
a quote from the book. So they're talking about
commuters here. They are no more satisfied with
their homes and they are less satisfied with
their jobs. So they give a quick example of how
commuters They justify all of this time it takes
to get to a job by thinking, oh, we're going
to be more satisfied with our house, we'll get
the bigger house, and then we'll also be more
satisfied with our jobs, but actually it has
the opposite effect. So instead of watching excess
TV or commuting, more than we really need to
be it talks about using that time to truly prioritize
relationships so if we are engaging in a contract
with someone maybe to cut our grass or to do
our housekeeping making sure that that time that
was bought for us is spent prioritizing relationships
spending time with loved ones truly is what creates
the most happiness. And they warn us not to fall
into the trap of trading quality time for material
possessions, both in our personal lives and in
providing for our children. Because ultimately
happiness does not come from having more things
or even more time, but from using our existing
resources to consciously create a life filled
with meaningful connections and experiences.
So let me talk first about... prioritizing time
over possessions. There's this thing called time
affluence and material affluence. We're all familiar
with material affluence because I'm sure you
watched the news many years ago and heard the
term for the first time affluenza where there
are these Affluent children or affluent children
who just have so much time on their hands and
endless resources, and they tend to not prioritize
their time well and get into trouble. Parties
that go downhill real fast and someone ends up
getting hurt. We think then of material affluence
in the same way. Let's think, let's, let's...
Look through each of these. So time affluence,
that means we have plenty of free time. And we
have to remember that free time is scarce. And
one of the things we need to focus on is optimizing
free time. Not maximizing, but optimizing. When
we optimize our free time, it reduces pressure.
It feels more natural and it brings about a longer
lasting lingering joy. And it also promotes mindfulness.
But when we maximize time and we're trying to
fit as much as possible into that time, it increases
pressure. It feels robotic. It provides fleeting
happiness and it promotes. mindlessness. That's
when we start making those mistakes. So even
with time affluence, when we have plenty of free
time, we need to optimize rather than maximize.
So that means increasing connection. And the
more that we connect, Oddly enough, the more
it compounds time affluence. And the more that
we are optimizing time, the more it compounds
time affluence. So we're accumulating experiences
when we're focused on time affluence over material.
affluence. So material affluence is simply plenty
of stuff. There's an overabundance. We're trying
to maximize everything that we have, whether
you're doing this out of a status symbol or you're
wanting to show the Joneses that you can keep
up with them, but it increases our stress levels.
Then we're more pressed for time and then it
decreases time affluence. So now our free time
diminishes. And that focus, rather than being
focused on accumulating experiences, now we're
focused on acquiring more possessions. Feeling
time affluent, rather than just material affluent,
is key to living a more satisfying life. So despite
the common belief that wealth and stuff brings
happiness, studies show that wealthier individuals
often report higher stress levels. This could
be because greater wealth and therefore more
accumulation often comes at the expense of free
time, which is crucial for well -being and happiness.
And we tend to overvalue things that are scarce.
As we just learned, In the scarcity being our
ally with the candy corn, the pumpkin spice,
the Disney vault, the McRib, we've overvalued
those things that are scarce. And so our own
time should be one of those things that we should
overvalue as well, not necessarily our possessions.
This perception of time scarcity fueled by our
increasingly busy lives leads to feeling more
pressed for time, even though we may have more
free time than previous generations. I love how
the book points that out for us, because even
when we look at time as scarce, if we're not
prioritizing the time well, then it's just going
to turn out just to be another stressful thing
that we need to navigate. Here's another thing
that we talked about and what Happy Money discussed.
Pay now, consume later. But the audience, you're
probably more familiar with buy now, pay later.
And that includes buying something with a credit
card and then paying it off monthly or with a
true... Buy Now Pay Later program. And by the
way, did you know that those Buy Now Pay Later
apps, they're new. But they've been around just
long enough to now we're getting to see how problematic
they are. Many of them, you cannot even get a
hold of them if they are listed on your credit
report and you need to dispute or you need to
correct something on your credit report. It is
very difficult to get a hold of some of these
companies. So buyer... Beware if you don't have
the money to purchase something unless it's food.
I'm not talking Uber food, Uber Eats. I'm not
talking, and by the way, that's becoming more
popular where you can now do the buy now pay
later for different food apps and food delivery
programs. I'm talking if you need groceries,
that's one thing, right, just to survive. But
when you are using these buy now, pay later apps
or even buy now, pay later in the use of a credit
card, and these are for things that you don't
need for survival, these are the things that
are making you feel crushed and making you feel
pressed and making you feel like you will never
get out of living. From paycheck to paycheck.
And that's not bringing happiness to anybody.
If that is that kind of pressure that you're
constantly experiencing. So this is why the authors
talk now about pay now, consume later. And it's
not just about paying cash. and then putting
something on hold and then pulling it out of
the closet later. That's not what they're talking
about. They go further into the brain science
behind our brains on spending. There's the chemical
reaction that we have through dopamine, and there's
the regional activation that we have in our brain
called the nucleus accumbens. I want you to think
about as you're driving, as you're listening
to this podcast, or if you're just piddling around
the house, what happens to you when I use the
words same -day delivery and next -day shipping?
I'm pausing for effect, and I'm pausing for you
to gather your answer. A lot of folks are going
to say, hey, sign me up. Boy, that's easy. Buy
me time, right? Well, the dopamine fires that
nucleus accumbens, that region in your brain
starts lighting up. And what is happening is
your brain is telling you now. I can have this
now. So there's this allure of that terminology
now. So here's a French word, and I'm going to
try and say it correctly. It's sous -réjouir.
And that is basically providing you a sense of
pleasure for the actual consumption. It's like
this sense of joy. And I'll take a quote right
out of Happy Money. The French used this word
to capture the experience of deriving pleasure
in the present from anticipating the future.
The se rejouir period provides a source of pleasure
that comes free with purchase, supplementing
the joy of actual consumption. Let me tell you
what that looks like. So they provide an example
in the book about a girl who purchases a Barbie,
but I'm going to bring it home with my own example.
Having two little girls that have grown up in
my house, all parents, I'm sure you will have
some positive or negative associations with this
story. But every single birthday, every single
Christmas, because we are so blessed with connections,
with family, with friends, just an overwhelming
amount of folks in our lives that will send them
something or give them something. These girls
would have a mountain of gifts. to open. And
my husband and I would sit there and think, oh,
I wish more people would just put money into
their college savings or give them a bond, a
savings bond or something like that. But they
know how children are. They want the excitement
of opening that gift, right? Going back to the
arcades, that reward center. They want those
kids to remember them for that. But what happens
is when the kids open these gifts, they've gone
through multiple gifts. And three months later,
when you're helping them navigate through their
pigsty of a room, you see halfway open gifts.
You see one part of a jewelry -making kit. mixed
up with another jewelry making kit and no wonder
it's not working because some of the tools got
mixed up and now it's adding stress and it's
adding pressure to this child's life and now
instead of it becoming an enjoyable gift it is
now a source of anger it is now a source of just
strife amongst this child or even within the
family system as well. So what I learned to do,
even though they didn't pay for these gifts,
I started, once they opened all the gifts and
they got to say their thank yous, my husband
and I would secretly pack away about two -thirds
of those gifts, put them up in the attic. And
then every once in a while, we would go pull,
maybe every month, pull one of those unused gifts.
And especially if they weren't yet developmentally
appropriate, you know. open it when it was developmentally
appropriate, where they actually have the manual
dexterity that it requires to do one of these
experiments or complete one of these experiments.
Or if you didn't want them to complete one of
the experiments in your house, you give them
the gift when they're going to Nana's house so
that you don't get the glitter all over your
house. That's just an example of pay now, consume
later. Now, again, the kids are not paying for
that gift. Someone else has, but they get to
anticipate over those months because they eventually
caught on. They get to anticipate, okay, next
month mom's going to give me a brand new unopened
gift. I don't know which one it's going to be.
I'll get to complete it. It'll be something that
I get to do with my mom or my dad or my sister.
And it brings more connection. That's just one
example. But I will talk about the example a
little bit more that they bring up in the book.
It does require some mention. So this girl, she
purchases a Barbie. And she uses her own money
to purchase the Barbie, and it takes forever
for this Barbie to come in. So she's already
paid for it, and she'll be consuming that toy
much later because, you know, first of all, she
had to afford it, save for it, finally purchase
it, and now she'll get it in the mail soon enough.
So, while she's waiting for the gift, there's
this thing that happens where that se rejouir
occurs, where she gets that joy of anticipation
of, my Barbie's going to be coming in soon, or
the drool factor. Oh man, I can't wait to put
this Barbie doll next to my other Barbies. And
I get to see my complete collection. So this
child is drooling before she even gets the Barbie.
And again, now she even knows that I've already
paid for it. So when I actually get it, there's
going to be a different feeling. I'm not in debt
to it. And so she finally gets it. And that same
region of the brain that... helps us look forward
to the joy of anticipating something or a purchase
is the same area of the brain that quickly forgets
something or loses enjoyment in something. So
wouldn't you know, she gets the Barbie, plays
with it for a couple days, then it goes on the
shelf, never to be played with again. Now, they're
not trying to talk themselves out of their own
concept of paying now, consuming later. But what
would have worked better for this child had she
done something in between for this Barbie to
be more enjoyable for her? So let's talk a little
bit more about how the buy now, pay later culture
is killing us. The allure of buy now, pay later
offered by credit cards creates a sense of detachment,
blinding us from the true cost of our spending.
This psychological trick makes us more willing
to spend beyond our means, leading to underestimation
of our expenses. and ultimately decreased happiness.
And let me tell you by just how much it led to
an underestimation of our expenditures. By 30%.
People who were stuck in the buy now, pay later
cycle or culture, because of that sense of detachment,
they could not recall in accuracy how much they
spent. They completely underestimated their expenses
by 30%. That's incredible. Here's a quote from
the book. The lure of paying later, Visa's response
to a satirical column that they had, they mentioned,
and by the way, this is not a quote, but the
book did quote a satirical column that was written.
It was basically... The title was Visa Exposed
as Massive Credit Card Scam. So here was the
response from Visa. Sure, people should have
known better than to trust a magical card that
allowed them to buy anything they want without
any money whatsoever. But at Visa, we understand
that people will believe anything if they want
it bad enough. That was the genius of our whole
scheme. So I found that very interesting, the
way they responded to a satirical column that
was not really calling out Visa, but just being
funny with it. Like, you know, gosh, Visa's a
total scam with how they're taking advantage
of us. But it wasn't meant to be factual, more
of a funny thing. Yet Visa came out and defended
itself with that. And I thought that was incredible
because they really tapped into human nature.
That we are more likely to fall prey to believing
what we want to believe. And people will continuously
spend money that they know that they don't have.
because someone is allowing them to. So we're
at close to 30 minutes here. So we'll go ahead
and stop this episode and then I'll continue
with the next one to wrap up. Happy money.