WEBVTT 00:00:10.119 --> 00:00:13.720 Welcome back to another Sci -Fi episode where 00:00:13.720 --> 00:00:17.019 we continue to examine how we think, feel, and 00:00:17.019 --> 00:00:20.280 behave with money. And we're going to continue 00:00:20.280 --> 00:00:25.059 the review of Happy Money, The Science of Happier 00:00:25.059 --> 00:00:27.600 Spending, a book written by Elizabeth Dunn and 00:00:27.600 --> 00:00:30.800 Michael Norton. I incorporated this book into 00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:33.340 the financial symposium here at Redstone Arsenal 00:00:33.340 --> 00:00:38.590 on the 25th of March, 2025. A lot of positive 00:00:38.590 --> 00:00:41.570 feedback based on this book. It gave folks a 00:00:41.570 --> 00:00:45.590 new way of looking at their money. Instead of 00:00:45.590 --> 00:00:48.869 thinking of their money as something that needed 00:00:48.869 --> 00:00:52.890 to be increased to make them happier, it gave 00:00:52.890 --> 00:00:59.270 them a new framework of how to become wiser with 00:00:59.270 --> 00:01:03.170 their money, increasing wisdom and not creasing 00:01:03.170 --> 00:01:07.519 the money itself. Increasing wisdom on how to 00:01:07.519 --> 00:01:11.540 spend and how to consume and not necessarily 00:01:11.540 --> 00:01:16.640 on how to increase income. So one of the things 00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:18.739 the authors talked about, we talked about buying 00:01:18.739 --> 00:01:23.739 experiences. We also talked about the transcendent 00:01:23.739 --> 00:01:27.000 strawberry. We talked about different research 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:32.579 and scarcity being an ally when it comes to abundance 00:01:32.579 --> 00:01:36.719 and how abundance can get us into trouble, especially 00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:44.140 when we lose pleasure in something that has brought 00:01:44.140 --> 00:01:46.760 us joy in the past, especially if it's a coffee. 00:01:47.880 --> 00:01:51.219 Or for me, it was Meals Out. I shared that story 00:01:51.219 --> 00:01:54.280 with the group. It just kind of lost its luster. 00:01:54.700 --> 00:01:58.799 So now that we make it a treat, it's much more 00:01:58.799 --> 00:02:01.299 enjoyable for the family. And it's the same thing 00:02:01.299 --> 00:02:03.459 that you could do with your coffee and whatever 00:02:03.459 --> 00:02:06.840 else you might be purchasing a little more often 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:10.680 than maybe you like. So now we're going to get 00:02:10.680 --> 00:02:16.469 into buying time and what that does for us. Time 00:02:16.469 --> 00:02:22.889 truly is our most valuable currency. And I think 00:02:22.889 --> 00:02:26.870 folks who have a terminal illness would agree 00:02:26.870 --> 00:02:31.629 with that. Or folks that have certain anxieties 00:02:31.629 --> 00:02:37.210 with events would agree with that. And certainly 00:02:37.210 --> 00:02:40.750 folks that are working full time and taking their 00:02:40.750 --> 00:02:43.250 kids, burning up the roads, getting them from 00:02:43.250 --> 00:02:48.729 event to event. time in and of itself is scarce. 00:02:48.990 --> 00:02:54.449 So how could we use our time more effectively 00:02:54.449 --> 00:02:58.069 to increase our overall subjective well -being, 00:02:58.090 --> 00:03:00.530 which is just a clinical term for happiness. 00:03:00.990 --> 00:03:06.810 So a lot of us will think of different electronics 00:03:06.810 --> 00:03:10.150 or different devices or different gadgets when 00:03:10.150 --> 00:03:14.030 it comes to buying time and one of the gadgets 00:03:14.030 --> 00:03:18.650 that the book offers is the Roomba. So they might 00:03:18.650 --> 00:03:21.949 think of okay I purchased this expensive vacuum 00:03:21.949 --> 00:03:25.370 cleaner to buy myself some time while I'm away 00:03:25.370 --> 00:03:28.669 it will do the vacuuming for me. And if you've 00:03:28.669 --> 00:03:31.909 ever had a Roomba, I personally have not because 00:03:31.909 --> 00:03:35.930 of the stories that I've heard in therapy sessions 00:03:35.930 --> 00:03:39.949 about the Roomba. And by the way, this does not 00:03:39.949 --> 00:03:43.150 imply Army endorsement and nor does it imply 00:03:43.150 --> 00:03:46.650 an Army rejection of the Roomba. It is simply 00:03:46.650 --> 00:03:51.009 a story to bring about the concept of buying 00:03:51.009 --> 00:03:56.250 time. So it doesn't have to be a Roomba. By name, 00:03:56.349 --> 00:03:59.969 it could be any vacuum cleaner or device, maybe 00:03:59.969 --> 00:04:03.229 even a lawnmower that is supposed to perform 00:04:03.229 --> 00:04:06.069 that job while you're gone. There are always 00:04:06.069 --> 00:04:08.389 going to be pros and cons, but one of the cons 00:04:08.389 --> 00:04:11.990 that I would hear most about the robotic vacuum 00:04:11.990 --> 00:04:17.920 cleaners is if your pet... makes a mess while 00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:21.980 you're gone. The robot is not able to differentiate 00:04:21.980 --> 00:04:26.180 between when it should stop and when it should 00:04:26.180 --> 00:04:30.420 continue. So I'll let you create the visual in 00:04:30.420 --> 00:04:33.879 your head of what that looks like, the cleaning, 00:04:34.100 --> 00:04:37.980 the repairs, and what your house might look like 00:04:37.980 --> 00:04:41.790 when you walk into the house. We think of those 00:04:41.790 --> 00:04:44.149 devices, we think of those gadgets, and then 00:04:44.149 --> 00:04:47.649 it helps us justify purchasing those gadgets. 00:04:47.709 --> 00:04:51.009 And that's all well and fine. And in fact, the 00:04:51.009 --> 00:04:54.170 book encourages us to find those things that 00:04:54.170 --> 00:04:57.709 are in alignment with our values that will assist 00:04:57.709 --> 00:05:01.790 us. buying more time. One of the things that 00:05:01.790 --> 00:05:06.310 my family and I just did, my oldest just turned 00:05:06.310 --> 00:05:10.870 16 and she wanted a summer job, but she does 00:05:10.870 --> 00:05:16.069 have honors and AP classes and we didn't necessarily 00:05:16.069 --> 00:05:19.740 want her to get involved in a job that... may 00:05:19.740 --> 00:05:24.040 give her some, I guess, motivation to continue 00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:26.339 during the fall. It's not that we don't want 00:05:26.339 --> 00:05:29.000 her to work. It's already hard enough without 00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:34.660 a job to keep her schedule moving and completing 00:05:34.660 --> 00:05:37.560 homework and having time to spend with the family, 00:05:37.620 --> 00:05:40.040 having time to do the things that she loves. 00:05:40.339 --> 00:05:45.959 So the family and I, we offered to allow her. 00:05:46.680 --> 00:05:50.939 to take her sister, who's only 11, back and forth 00:05:50.939 --> 00:05:55.660 to her practices for her sport during the summer. 00:05:55.680 --> 00:05:59.060 So that will be her summer job, is carting her 00:05:59.060 --> 00:06:01.980 back and forth. Because one, it makes financial 00:06:01.980 --> 00:06:05.420 sense that my husband and I do not take work 00:06:05.420 --> 00:06:08.319 off because it would cost a lot more money for 00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:11.040 us to take that time off during the day to... 00:06:11.689 --> 00:06:15.509 bus her back and forth to those practices. So 00:06:15.509 --> 00:06:20.350 we were able to offer our oldest that job where 00:06:20.350 --> 00:06:23.110 she'll get paid a pretty good amount to do that 00:06:23.110 --> 00:06:27.870 for us. And it decreases the overall stress for 00:06:27.870 --> 00:06:34.569 us, but increases her income. So it's a win -win. 00:06:34.790 --> 00:06:38.860 So that's an example. of what you would do to 00:06:38.860 --> 00:06:42.319 help yourself buying time. And it's the same 00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:44.579 with other folks. There are families who, instead 00:06:44.579 --> 00:06:47.699 of taking their children to daycare, they may 00:06:47.699 --> 00:06:52.740 choose to hire a nanny who could bus their children 00:06:52.740 --> 00:06:56.199 throughout the day through all of their activities 00:06:56.199 --> 00:06:59.879 and also make dinner. I mean, there's a win -win 00:06:59.879 --> 00:07:03.560 situation as well. So those types of things buy 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:06.920 time. Or... As I've done in the past, and I've 00:07:06.920 --> 00:07:10.040 said in the past too, I've also hired my children 00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:13.759 to do my housekeeping. Instead of paying a stranger, 00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:17.220 I pay my children, and it's a win -win situation. 00:07:18.300 --> 00:07:23.259 But here's the thing. Why are we even wanting 00:07:23.259 --> 00:07:28.579 to buy time? If we're doing that and we're paying 00:07:28.579 --> 00:07:32.649 a little more, so that we have more time that 00:07:32.649 --> 00:07:37.110 we can spend on doing whatever we want, are we 00:07:37.110 --> 00:07:42.209 spending that free time wisely? So there's a 00:07:42.209 --> 00:07:46.910 difference between... prioritizing time over 00:07:46.910 --> 00:07:51.310 possessions or possessions prioritizing time 00:07:51.310 --> 00:07:55.129 over us. And one of the bigger things that are 00:07:55.129 --> 00:07:59.850 discussed in that is reducing the amount of television 00:07:59.850 --> 00:08:04.970 that we watch or the amount of scrolling that 00:08:04.970 --> 00:08:08.889 we do on our phone. Have we truly bought time 00:08:08.889 --> 00:08:12.379 for ourselves? If that's what we're going to 00:08:12.379 --> 00:08:16.779 continuously engage in. And the stats on that 00:08:16.779 --> 00:08:20.620 are pretty interesting as far as the book and 00:08:20.620 --> 00:08:24.259 their research is concerned. We spend an average 00:08:24.259 --> 00:08:30.279 of two months per year. Two months per year. 00:08:30.459 --> 00:08:33.259 And there are only 12 months if you're not doing 00:08:33.259 --> 00:08:36.200 the math. Two of those 12 months in the year 00:08:36.200 --> 00:08:41.629 we are spending watching. television and it offers 00:08:41.629 --> 00:08:45.330 little emotional reward when compared to other 00:08:45.330 --> 00:08:49.210 activities. So it has diminishing returns and 00:08:49.210 --> 00:08:53.649 too much of even an enjoyable activity can backfire. 00:08:54.490 --> 00:08:56.769 Another one that they talked about is reducing 00:08:56.769 --> 00:09:00.529 commuting. Longer commutes, even for better homes 00:09:00.529 --> 00:09:03.889 or jobs, don't lead to greater happiness and 00:09:03.889 --> 00:09:07.559 those eat into valuable time as well. Here's 00:09:07.559 --> 00:09:09.740 a quote from the book. So they're talking about 00:09:09.740 --> 00:09:13.759 commuters here. They are no more satisfied with 00:09:13.759 --> 00:09:18.299 their homes and they are less satisfied with 00:09:18.299 --> 00:09:23.159 their jobs. So they give a quick example of how 00:09:23.159 --> 00:09:27.070 commuters They justify all of this time it takes 00:09:27.070 --> 00:09:30.830 to get to a job by thinking, oh, we're going 00:09:30.830 --> 00:09:32.789 to be more satisfied with our house, we'll get 00:09:32.789 --> 00:09:35.110 the bigger house, and then we'll also be more 00:09:35.110 --> 00:09:37.289 satisfied with our jobs, but actually it has 00:09:37.289 --> 00:09:43.269 the opposite effect. So instead of watching excess 00:09:43.269 --> 00:09:48.759 TV or commuting, more than we really need to 00:09:48.759 --> 00:09:52.299 be it talks about using that time to truly prioritize 00:09:52.299 --> 00:09:58.519 relationships so if we are engaging in a contract 00:09:58.519 --> 00:10:02.259 with someone maybe to cut our grass or to do 00:10:02.259 --> 00:10:05.720 our housekeeping making sure that that time that 00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:08.919 was bought for us is spent prioritizing relationships 00:10:08.919 --> 00:10:13.190 spending time with loved ones truly is what creates 00:10:13.190 --> 00:10:16.009 the most happiness. And they warn us not to fall 00:10:16.009 --> 00:10:18.730 into the trap of trading quality time for material 00:10:18.730 --> 00:10:23.009 possessions, both in our personal lives and in 00:10:23.009 --> 00:10:25.830 providing for our children. Because ultimately 00:10:25.830 --> 00:10:29.429 happiness does not come from having more things 00:10:29.429 --> 00:10:31.889 or even more time, but from using our existing 00:10:31.889 --> 00:10:35.450 resources to consciously create a life filled 00:10:35.450 --> 00:10:38.169 with meaningful connections and experiences. 00:10:38.710 --> 00:10:42.460 So let me talk first about... prioritizing time 00:10:42.460 --> 00:10:45.279 over possessions. There's this thing called time 00:10:45.279 --> 00:10:50.980 affluence and material affluence. We're all familiar 00:10:50.980 --> 00:10:53.899 with material affluence because I'm sure you 00:10:53.899 --> 00:10:57.659 watched the news many years ago and heard the 00:10:57.659 --> 00:11:01.799 term for the first time affluenza where there 00:11:01.799 --> 00:11:05.860 are these Affluent children or affluent children 00:11:05.860 --> 00:11:09.379 who just have so much time on their hands and 00:11:09.379 --> 00:11:14.220 endless resources, and they tend to not prioritize 00:11:14.220 --> 00:11:18.120 their time well and get into trouble. Parties 00:11:18.120 --> 00:11:21.500 that go downhill real fast and someone ends up 00:11:21.500 --> 00:11:25.840 getting hurt. We think then of material affluence 00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:29.419 in the same way. Let's think, let's, let's... 00:11:29.659 --> 00:11:32.200 Look through each of these. So time affluence, 00:11:32.220 --> 00:11:37.899 that means we have plenty of free time. And we 00:11:37.899 --> 00:11:43.059 have to remember that free time is scarce. And 00:11:43.059 --> 00:11:46.399 one of the things we need to focus on is optimizing 00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:53.059 free time. Not maximizing, but optimizing. When 00:11:53.059 --> 00:11:56.679 we optimize our free time, it reduces pressure. 00:11:57.600 --> 00:12:01.960 It feels more natural and it brings about a longer 00:12:01.960 --> 00:12:06.899 lasting lingering joy. And it also promotes mindfulness. 00:12:07.820 --> 00:12:13.039 But when we maximize time and we're trying to 00:12:13.039 --> 00:12:18.460 fit as much as possible into that time, it increases 00:12:18.460 --> 00:12:23.120 pressure. It feels robotic. It provides fleeting 00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:28.159 happiness and it promotes. mindlessness. That's 00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:31.159 when we start making those mistakes. So even 00:12:31.159 --> 00:12:34.039 with time affluence, when we have plenty of free 00:12:34.039 --> 00:12:37.299 time, we need to optimize rather than maximize. 00:12:37.700 --> 00:12:42.960 So that means increasing connection. And the 00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:48.460 more that we connect, Oddly enough, the more 00:12:48.460 --> 00:12:52.919 it compounds time affluence. And the more that 00:12:52.919 --> 00:12:55.820 we are optimizing time, the more it compounds 00:12:55.820 --> 00:13:00.620 time affluence. So we're accumulating experiences 00:13:00.620 --> 00:13:05.919 when we're focused on time affluence over material. 00:13:06.629 --> 00:13:10.590 affluence. So material affluence is simply plenty 00:13:10.590 --> 00:13:14.309 of stuff. There's an overabundance. We're trying 00:13:14.309 --> 00:13:17.350 to maximize everything that we have, whether 00:13:17.350 --> 00:13:21.330 you're doing this out of a status symbol or you're 00:13:21.330 --> 00:13:23.389 wanting to show the Joneses that you can keep 00:13:23.389 --> 00:13:26.610 up with them, but it increases our stress levels. 00:13:26.809 --> 00:13:30.590 Then we're more pressed for time and then it 00:13:30.590 --> 00:13:35.240 decreases time affluence. So now our free time 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:39.740 diminishes. And that focus, rather than being 00:13:39.740 --> 00:13:42.659 focused on accumulating experiences, now we're 00:13:42.659 --> 00:13:49.600 focused on acquiring more possessions. Feeling 00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:53.440 time affluent, rather than just material affluent, 00:13:53.460 --> 00:14:00.769 is key to living a more satisfying life. So despite 00:14:00.769 --> 00:14:03.389 the common belief that wealth and stuff brings 00:14:03.389 --> 00:14:06.690 happiness, studies show that wealthier individuals 00:14:06.690 --> 00:14:10.149 often report higher stress levels. This could 00:14:10.149 --> 00:14:12.590 be because greater wealth and therefore more 00:14:12.590 --> 00:14:16.309 accumulation often comes at the expense of free 00:14:16.309 --> 00:14:20.549 time, which is crucial for well -being and happiness. 00:14:21.610 --> 00:14:24.789 And we tend to overvalue things that are scarce. 00:14:25.169 --> 00:14:30.110 As we just learned, In the scarcity being our 00:14:30.110 --> 00:14:33.330 ally with the candy corn, the pumpkin spice, 00:14:33.590 --> 00:14:36.950 the Disney vault, the McRib, we've overvalued 00:14:36.950 --> 00:14:40.129 those things that are scarce. And so our own 00:14:40.129 --> 00:14:43.610 time should be one of those things that we should 00:14:43.610 --> 00:14:47.610 overvalue as well, not necessarily our possessions. 00:14:49.980 --> 00:14:53.860 This perception of time scarcity fueled by our 00:14:53.860 --> 00:14:57.659 increasingly busy lives leads to feeling more 00:14:57.659 --> 00:15:00.360 pressed for time, even though we may have more 00:15:00.360 --> 00:15:04.960 free time than previous generations. I love how 00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:07.960 the book points that out for us, because even 00:15:07.960 --> 00:15:10.299 when we look at time as scarce, if we're not 00:15:10.299 --> 00:15:13.379 prioritizing the time well, then it's just going 00:15:13.379 --> 00:15:15.620 to turn out just to be another stressful thing 00:15:15.620 --> 00:15:19.259 that we need to navigate. Here's another thing 00:15:19.259 --> 00:15:22.779 that we talked about and what Happy Money discussed. 00:15:23.100 --> 00:15:28.539 Pay now, consume later. But the audience, you're 00:15:28.539 --> 00:15:32.759 probably more familiar with buy now, pay later. 00:15:33.220 --> 00:15:36.799 And that includes buying something with a credit 00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:40.700 card and then paying it off monthly or with a 00:15:40.700 --> 00:15:44.379 true... Buy Now Pay Later program. And by the 00:15:44.379 --> 00:15:47.259 way, did you know that those Buy Now Pay Later 00:15:47.259 --> 00:15:52.149 apps, they're new. But they've been around just 00:15:52.149 --> 00:15:55.309 long enough to now we're getting to see how problematic 00:15:55.309 --> 00:15:59.730 they are. Many of them, you cannot even get a 00:15:59.730 --> 00:16:02.789 hold of them if they are listed on your credit 00:16:02.789 --> 00:16:06.889 report and you need to dispute or you need to 00:16:06.889 --> 00:16:09.629 correct something on your credit report. It is 00:16:09.629 --> 00:16:11.789 very difficult to get a hold of some of these 00:16:11.789 --> 00:16:16.840 companies. So buyer... Beware if you don't have 00:16:16.840 --> 00:16:22.159 the money to purchase something unless it's food. 00:16:22.360 --> 00:16:25.279 I'm not talking Uber food, Uber Eats. I'm not 00:16:25.279 --> 00:16:28.059 talking, and by the way, that's becoming more 00:16:28.059 --> 00:16:30.799 popular where you can now do the buy now pay 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:36.220 later for different food apps and food delivery 00:16:36.220 --> 00:16:40.889 programs. I'm talking if you need groceries, 00:16:40.990 --> 00:16:45.049 that's one thing, right, just to survive. But 00:16:45.049 --> 00:16:48.210 when you are using these buy now, pay later apps 00:16:48.210 --> 00:16:52.570 or even buy now, pay later in the use of a credit 00:16:52.570 --> 00:16:55.809 card, and these are for things that you don't 00:16:55.809 --> 00:16:58.649 need for survival, these are the things that 00:16:58.649 --> 00:17:02.129 are making you feel crushed and making you feel 00:17:02.129 --> 00:17:06.450 pressed and making you feel like you will never 00:17:06.450 --> 00:17:10.099 get out of living. From paycheck to paycheck. 00:17:10.599 --> 00:17:13.279 And that's not bringing happiness to anybody. 00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:16.619 If that is that kind of pressure that you're 00:17:16.619 --> 00:17:20.460 constantly experiencing. So this is why the authors 00:17:20.460 --> 00:17:25.880 talk now about pay now, consume later. And it's 00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:29.440 not just about paying cash. and then putting 00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:31.200 something on hold and then pulling it out of 00:17:31.200 --> 00:17:32.819 the closet later. That's not what they're talking 00:17:32.819 --> 00:17:35.960 about. They go further into the brain science 00:17:35.960 --> 00:17:40.420 behind our brains on spending. There's the chemical 00:17:40.420 --> 00:17:43.819 reaction that we have through dopamine, and there's 00:17:43.819 --> 00:17:46.920 the regional activation that we have in our brain 00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:52.170 called the nucleus accumbens. I want you to think 00:17:52.170 --> 00:17:53.869 about as you're driving, as you're listening 00:17:53.869 --> 00:17:56.369 to this podcast, or if you're just piddling around 00:17:56.369 --> 00:17:59.190 the house, what happens to you when I use the 00:17:59.190 --> 00:18:02.890 words same -day delivery and next -day shipping? 00:18:06.670 --> 00:18:09.769 I'm pausing for effect, and I'm pausing for you 00:18:09.769 --> 00:18:13.230 to gather your answer. A lot of folks are going 00:18:13.230 --> 00:18:16.700 to say, hey, sign me up. Boy, that's easy. Buy 00:18:16.700 --> 00:18:20.420 me time, right? Well, the dopamine fires that 00:18:20.420 --> 00:18:23.319 nucleus accumbens, that region in your brain 00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:28.980 starts lighting up. And what is happening is 00:18:28.980 --> 00:18:32.680 your brain is telling you now. I can have this 00:18:32.680 --> 00:18:37.940 now. So there's this allure of that terminology 00:18:37.940 --> 00:18:44.380 now. So here's a French word, and I'm going to 00:18:44.380 --> 00:18:49.640 try and say it correctly. It's sous -réjouir. 00:18:50.119 --> 00:18:55.539 And that is basically providing you a sense of 00:18:55.539 --> 00:18:58.440 pleasure for the actual consumption. It's like 00:18:58.440 --> 00:19:01.259 this sense of joy. And I'll take a quote right 00:19:01.259 --> 00:19:04.670 out of Happy Money. The French used this word 00:19:04.670 --> 00:19:07.230 to capture the experience of deriving pleasure 00:19:07.230 --> 00:19:11.009 in the present from anticipating the future. 00:19:12.250 --> 00:19:16.950 The se rejouir period provides a source of pleasure 00:19:16.950 --> 00:19:21.450 that comes free with purchase, supplementing 00:19:21.450 --> 00:19:24.170 the joy of actual consumption. Let me tell you 00:19:24.170 --> 00:19:27.349 what that looks like. So they provide an example 00:19:27.349 --> 00:19:30.730 in the book about a girl who purchases a Barbie, 00:19:30.930 --> 00:19:33.990 but I'm going to bring it home with my own example. 00:19:34.210 --> 00:19:37.130 Having two little girls that have grown up in 00:19:37.130 --> 00:19:40.569 my house, all parents, I'm sure you will have 00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:43.539 some positive or negative associations with this 00:19:43.539 --> 00:19:49.160 story. But every single birthday, every single 00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:53.740 Christmas, because we are so blessed with connections, 00:19:53.799 --> 00:19:57.779 with family, with friends, just an overwhelming 00:19:57.779 --> 00:20:01.420 amount of folks in our lives that will send them 00:20:01.420 --> 00:20:04.680 something or give them something. These girls 00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:09.710 would have a mountain of gifts. to open. And 00:20:09.710 --> 00:20:12.109 my husband and I would sit there and think, oh, 00:20:12.230 --> 00:20:15.549 I wish more people would just put money into 00:20:15.549 --> 00:20:20.089 their college savings or give them a bond, a 00:20:20.089 --> 00:20:24.109 savings bond or something like that. But they 00:20:24.109 --> 00:20:26.130 know how children are. They want the excitement 00:20:26.130 --> 00:20:30.049 of opening that gift, right? Going back to the 00:20:30.049 --> 00:20:32.630 arcades, that reward center. They want those 00:20:32.630 --> 00:20:37.519 kids to remember them for that. But what happens 00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:44.500 is when the kids open these gifts, they've gone 00:20:44.500 --> 00:20:49.400 through multiple gifts. And three months later, 00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:51.839 when you're helping them navigate through their 00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:55.759 pigsty of a room, you see halfway open gifts. 00:20:55.839 --> 00:21:01.259 You see one part of a jewelry -making kit. mixed 00:21:01.259 --> 00:21:04.420 up with another jewelry making kit and no wonder 00:21:04.420 --> 00:21:06.779 it's not working because some of the tools got 00:21:06.779 --> 00:21:09.519 mixed up and now it's adding stress and it's 00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:13.220 adding pressure to this child's life and now 00:21:13.220 --> 00:21:16.539 instead of it becoming an enjoyable gift it is 00:21:16.539 --> 00:21:25.480 now a source of anger it is now a source of just 00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:31.559 strife amongst this child or even within the 00:21:31.559 --> 00:21:35.940 family system as well. So what I learned to do, 00:21:36.059 --> 00:21:38.359 even though they didn't pay for these gifts, 00:21:38.579 --> 00:21:42.220 I started, once they opened all the gifts and 00:21:42.220 --> 00:21:45.700 they got to say their thank yous, my husband 00:21:45.700 --> 00:21:49.440 and I would secretly pack away about two -thirds 00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:52.319 of those gifts, put them up in the attic. And 00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:54.680 then every once in a while, we would go pull, 00:21:54.759 --> 00:21:58.099 maybe every month, pull one of those unused gifts. 00:21:58.839 --> 00:22:01.880 And especially if they weren't yet developmentally 00:22:01.880 --> 00:22:05.019 appropriate, you know. open it when it was developmentally 00:22:05.019 --> 00:22:08.859 appropriate, where they actually have the manual 00:22:08.859 --> 00:22:12.619 dexterity that it requires to do one of these 00:22:12.619 --> 00:22:15.000 experiments or complete one of these experiments. 00:22:15.099 --> 00:22:16.819 Or if you didn't want them to complete one of 00:22:16.819 --> 00:22:19.119 the experiments in your house, you give them 00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:22.519 the gift when they're going to Nana's house so 00:22:22.519 --> 00:22:24.539 that you don't get the glitter all over your 00:22:24.539 --> 00:22:31.269 house. That's just an example of pay now, consume 00:22:31.269 --> 00:22:34.529 later. Now, again, the kids are not paying for 00:22:34.529 --> 00:22:38.509 that gift. Someone else has, but they get to 00:22:38.509 --> 00:22:43.470 anticipate over those months because they eventually 00:22:43.470 --> 00:22:47.450 caught on. They get to anticipate, okay, next 00:22:47.450 --> 00:22:50.970 month mom's going to give me a brand new unopened 00:22:50.970 --> 00:22:53.950 gift. I don't know which one it's going to be. 00:22:54.779 --> 00:22:58.259 I'll get to complete it. It'll be something that 00:22:58.259 --> 00:23:00.940 I get to do with my mom or my dad or my sister. 00:23:01.180 --> 00:23:04.660 And it brings more connection. That's just one 00:23:04.660 --> 00:23:09.279 example. But I will talk about the example a 00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:10.900 little bit more that they bring up in the book. 00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:15.880 It does require some mention. So this girl, she 00:23:15.880 --> 00:23:19.859 purchases a Barbie. And she uses her own money 00:23:19.859 --> 00:23:22.519 to purchase the Barbie, and it takes forever 00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:25.539 for this Barbie to come in. So she's already 00:23:25.539 --> 00:23:28.779 paid for it, and she'll be consuming that toy 00:23:28.779 --> 00:23:32.019 much later because, you know, first of all, she 00:23:32.019 --> 00:23:34.819 had to afford it, save for it, finally purchase 00:23:34.819 --> 00:23:37.839 it, and now she'll get it in the mail soon enough. 00:23:38.910 --> 00:23:41.650 So, while she's waiting for the gift, there's 00:23:41.650 --> 00:23:45.450 this thing that happens where that se rejouir 00:23:45.450 --> 00:23:48.529 occurs, where she gets that joy of anticipation 00:23:48.529 --> 00:23:51.829 of, my Barbie's going to be coming in soon, or 00:23:51.829 --> 00:23:55.240 the drool factor. Oh man, I can't wait to put 00:23:55.240 --> 00:23:57.900 this Barbie doll next to my other Barbies. And 00:23:57.900 --> 00:24:00.940 I get to see my complete collection. So this 00:24:00.940 --> 00:24:04.039 child is drooling before she even gets the Barbie. 00:24:04.339 --> 00:24:08.200 And again, now she even knows that I've already 00:24:08.200 --> 00:24:11.240 paid for it. So when I actually get it, there's 00:24:11.240 --> 00:24:13.680 going to be a different feeling. I'm not in debt 00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:18.839 to it. And so she finally gets it. And that same 00:24:18.839 --> 00:24:24.750 region of the brain that... helps us look forward 00:24:24.750 --> 00:24:28.490 to the joy of anticipating something or a purchase 00:24:28.490 --> 00:24:35.250 is the same area of the brain that quickly forgets 00:24:35.250 --> 00:24:40.250 something or loses enjoyment in something. So 00:24:40.250 --> 00:24:43.670 wouldn't you know, she gets the Barbie, plays 00:24:43.670 --> 00:24:45.730 with it for a couple days, then it goes on the 00:24:45.730 --> 00:24:50.240 shelf, never to be played with again. Now, they're 00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:53.079 not trying to talk themselves out of their own 00:24:53.079 --> 00:24:58.259 concept of paying now, consuming later. But what 00:24:58.259 --> 00:25:04.160 would have worked better for this child had she 00:25:04.160 --> 00:25:07.839 done something in between for this Barbie to 00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:11.519 be more enjoyable for her? So let's talk a little 00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:15.099 bit more about how the buy now, pay later culture 00:25:15.099 --> 00:25:20.200 is killing us. The allure of buy now, pay later 00:25:20.200 --> 00:25:24.839 offered by credit cards creates a sense of detachment, 00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:29.259 blinding us from the true cost of our spending. 00:25:29.500 --> 00:25:32.740 This psychological trick makes us more willing 00:25:32.740 --> 00:25:37.180 to spend beyond our means, leading to underestimation 00:25:37.180 --> 00:25:41.180 of our expenses. and ultimately decreased happiness. 00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:45.420 And let me tell you by just how much it led to 00:25:45.420 --> 00:25:51.299 an underestimation of our expenditures. By 30%. 00:25:51.299 --> 00:25:58.059 People who were stuck in the buy now, pay later 00:25:58.059 --> 00:26:02.039 cycle or culture, because of that sense of detachment, 00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:07.099 they could not recall in accuracy how much they 00:26:07.099 --> 00:26:14.079 spent. They completely underestimated their expenses 00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:17.680 by 30%. That's incredible. Here's a quote from 00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:21.079 the book. The lure of paying later, Visa's response 00:26:21.079 --> 00:26:25.380 to a satirical column that they had, they mentioned, 00:26:25.500 --> 00:26:27.700 and by the way, this is not a quote, but the 00:26:27.700 --> 00:26:31.339 book did quote a satirical column that was written. 00:26:31.539 --> 00:26:36.700 It was basically... The title was Visa Exposed 00:26:36.700 --> 00:26:40.940 as Massive Credit Card Scam. So here was the 00:26:40.940 --> 00:26:46.140 response from Visa. Sure, people should have 00:26:46.140 --> 00:26:49.460 known better than to trust a magical card that 00:26:49.460 --> 00:26:52.640 allowed them to buy anything they want without 00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:56.720 any money whatsoever. But at Visa, we understand 00:26:56.720 --> 00:26:58.880 that people will believe anything if they want 00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:02.519 it bad enough. That was the genius of our whole 00:27:02.519 --> 00:27:07.759 scheme. So I found that very interesting, the 00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:11.980 way they responded to a satirical column that 00:27:11.980 --> 00:27:16.279 was not really calling out Visa, but just being 00:27:16.279 --> 00:27:18.380 funny with it. Like, you know, gosh, Visa's a 00:27:18.380 --> 00:27:21.740 total scam with how they're taking advantage 00:27:21.740 --> 00:27:27.839 of us. But it wasn't meant to be factual, more 00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:30.799 of a funny thing. Yet Visa came out and defended 00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:36.329 itself with that. And I thought that was incredible 00:27:36.329 --> 00:27:42.829 because they really tapped into human nature. 00:27:43.130 --> 00:27:50.309 That we are more likely to fall prey to believing 00:27:50.309 --> 00:27:56.670 what we want to believe. And people will continuously 00:27:56.670 --> 00:28:00.529 spend money that they know that they don't have. 00:28:01.900 --> 00:28:06.279 because someone is allowing them to. So we're 00:28:06.279 --> 00:28:09.160 at close to 30 minutes here. So we'll go ahead 00:28:09.160 --> 00:28:11.220 and stop this episode and then I'll continue 00:28:11.220 --> 00:28:14.579 with the next one to wrap up. Happy money.