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The most powerful bite ever recorded thus far by an animal is a saltwater crocodile

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with a biting force of 3,700 psi which I've just explained to Ash is 16 and a half thousand

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Newtons and to tear apart a steak with your mouth you need about 150 to 200 Newtons. Now you might

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be thinking why am I saying this? Well we've just been discussing about how I reckon

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I could fight my way out of an anaconda

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and Ash doesn't seem to think I'd be able to do it so we got on a whole journey of

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of talking about animals and I think the listeners will agree with me

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that you could rip your way out of an anaconda. How? You're squashed you're completely you can't

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you can't move your fingers because you're that constricted but all your body's going to be

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constricted so you've got your lungs just crushing your body you can't breathe. Is it crushing though

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or is it just swallowing? So I mean in that all right right right I'm at Colchester Zoo

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and lo and behold anaconda's got out Steph's run off she's left me for dust I'm done.

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So this anaconda swallowed me from the feet up all right so that's that's the position that

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we're in. Is it is it crushing me inside or has it expanded itself to accommodate me and I'm I'm a

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bit crushed but I'm still you know what I mean it's not snapping bones from how hard it's crushing me.

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You you couldn't move you would the the snake is not that large you're going in and it's

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it's expanding only to the size of your body so it's very very tight. To be fair though

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their fangs are hooked they're like that obviously you'll all people listening will be able to see me

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making the image with my finger so I'd imagine it's swallowing you it ain't swallowing you quick

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like how you chomp down some spaghetti it's quite a slow thing so would you not just start hitting

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it in the head but you're not that's not what you said you said you'd be able to fight yourself out

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of an anaconda that had swallowed you I think I would I think I wouldn't get the you couldn't

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move your arms you couldn't get any punching power but I don't think because it hasn't got any arms

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is it there's no arms no legs no limbs thank you David Attenborough it's just a worm with with teeth

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so what I'm saying is I don't even think I'd let it get to that point if I'm being swallowed

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from the feet up it is a slow process of it fucking wiggling its way up and swallowing me

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you're telling me it's going to get through six foot one six foot two on a good day of me

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and I'm just going to sit there letting it happen that's not what you said maybe you couldn't but

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that is not what you said you dig it in the head yeah but yeah but you can't because you're inside

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the anaconda is what you said yes and I reckon that if I was inside the anaconda the problem is

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the problem is is that we haven't got all the facts we're not as informed as we need to be

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because I don't know how crushed in I am because if I can wiggle my knees a bit I reckon I've got

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the power in my knees to rip through it there's no wiggling you are you're stuck you are fucking you

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can't move your arms are crushed against your arms in your chest and your legs are stuck you can't

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you can move your toe maybe that might be about it I've got if I haven't if I haven't cut my toe

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nails I'm cutting my way out of that I'm telling you I'm getting out I don't think you're getting

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out if you're fully submerged inside a fucking anaconda's belly you're done for bro you're done

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you're done out here G yeah you ain't getting out alive you're dead you snake poop you're gonna be

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slowly digested even then surely you'd start ripping you'd start ripping the guts out with what

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yeah I don't know your mouth you're dead bro you're burning with acid the stomach acid is just

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melting you down I don't know I don't know I feel like we're more powerful than we we we are powerful

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so I reckon we're the snakes belly so I reckon with a decent punch you can KO a gorilla

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oh fucking not a chance not a fucking chance a gorilla sat next to me I reckon even that

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I reckon even that that little gorilla there that was animated unreal that would knock you the fuck

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out look that is not fucking about I'm not saying that you'd win a fight I'm saying if you got a

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decent punch on it on its chin left hook or an uppercut you're googling it if you could knock

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out a gorilla could a human knock out a gorilla no no an unarmed human being could not beat a

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gorilla in a fight simply put gorillas are far too strong for human beings to overcome even if

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mike tyson could land a hit on a gorilla he would not knock it out yeah but fran it francis and

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garu has the most powerful punch recorded who is a ufc fighter um I don't think he fights anymore

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he might do I'm not sure but he has the the the he has the hardest hit ever recorded and I believe

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it's the equivalent of 90 something horsepower is the strength of his punch what the fuck

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I open tiktok look what come up it's a gyro gun section about beating up a gorilla

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that's just proven that's just proven that's fucking it's not even listening to you is

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listening to me I only got out to show you this and that crazy he's fucking wasn't I was a gorilla

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beating the shit uh beating the shit out of a seagull in it slamming it against the tree

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like a solid minute in it it's just batting its head against the fucking tree

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yeah that's because you googled can you knock out a gorilla no you maybe and then they've

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straight away they've sold your info straight over to tiktok that was a quick transaction

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wouldn't let's bang up a video joe rogan talking about having a fight with a gorilla yeah but yeah

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you got no hope mate they're fucking there's something else other who do you think would win

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a fight between a gorilla and a bear I think that's what he was talking about you know

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I think so fucking bugs a gorilla or a bear what kind of bear are we talking though are we silver

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back gorilla is that what we're going with yeah that is joe rogan talking about it

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so

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man

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so

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yeah you got no hope bro I just watched it in that clip I just watched a gorilla fight a gorilla

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let me tell you that gorilla couldn't beat the other gorilla look at the look at the

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scrap really little little three second scrap that's about to happen little bangers going on

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I'm still working out the youtube game this is tiktok oh yeah look look at them look fucking

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no bro you got no hope but a bear a big old grizzly bear yeah who you going with I'm

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I think I'm going with the bear yeah I think the bear beats the gorilla because you got

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because you got to remember that bears bears are fucking huge a big grizzly bear in its prime

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they are fucking massive bigger than a gorilla standing tall with that

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they won't hear that carry on where was it carry on with your explanation then I'll tell you what

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it says because a grizzly bear stands they're like nine ten foot tall when they're standing

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on their rear legs on their hind legs and those claws that they have are fucking massive and

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they're just raw power and they have a thick as fuck hide trying to get through their skin is

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near impossible they are so so powerful and they've got a massive bite force as well I think a gorilla

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has got a stronger bite force than a than a bear but I just don't think that a gorilla's got it

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what's google saying it says grizzlies have size weight and aggression on their side silverbacks

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have muscle strength and reach on their side whilst a grizzly would likely win in a battle

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between these powerful opponents don't discount the strength and determination of a silverback

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gorilla defending itself I just feel like a gorilla obviously like Joe Rogan just said they

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have their fangs so they can do a bit of damage over that's not their main source of damage they're

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they're blunt damage isn't they they want to fucking smush you whereas a bear is all of the above

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it's going to rip you to fucking shreds it's going to punch you in the face

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and then it's going to eat your dick with its big old teeth I just I wouldn't want to do it

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obviously I I'm all for animals I hate hunting I hate people that hunt I hate that shit unless

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you're going to eat it don't shoot it but for science I want to see these two airlifted into

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a field like I'm speaking hypothetically he wants a gulag with a grizzly bear and a silverback

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I don't actually want to but you know it would be a fucking interesting watch wouldn't it now I'd

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pay per view that shit fuck all these boxing bollocks grizzly bear and a silver because

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wouldn't I know that they did it with with midgets and a lion what they they I can't remember where

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what country it was but it wasn't that long ago where they had like 30 midgets or something in a

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in an arena with a lion to see who would win and the lion cleaned up in like two minutes

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I think that might be the closest you can get obviously I don't want it to happen but I just

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I'd love to see it like even just a fake YouTube video I'm gonna have to watch one though you know

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they must have fought someone must have caught them fighting before I don't think they they

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they live in the same areas I don't think but a bear and a gorilla imagine that as a game

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you get to pick what animal you want to be and then it's just a constant stream of like arena

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fighting seeing who's gonna beat who constantly so fascinating animals what about a hippo versus a

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bear why it's hard isn't it because they're fucking animals obviously hippos versus a bear

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hippos are dangerous hippos are fast as well man they are very fast so are bears you've seen that

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fucking hippo chasing people that's yeah don't fuck around does it fucking catching up bro

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ill a speedboat I think they can they can run like 20 something mile an hour on land as well

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they ain't slow and they're bite force let me google the fucking bite force of a hippo

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surely that's gotta be that's gotta be bite bite force of don't expect any gaming on this

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we're fully locked in animals versus animals here uh what is this

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bite force of a hippo in psi I don't know sorry it's just google's doing made in hippo bite force

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psi is 1820 psi it's less than that crocodile yeah the crocodile was 3700 and what do we say

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uh bear see it depends on the bear though doesn't it bear bite psi is a bear is 12 000 12 000

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12 000 oh sorry 1200 1200 and the hippos 1800 it's not about the biting with a bear though is

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it it's about just fucking raw strength that bear could just fucking hold things down and

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just claw it yeah but a hippo's oh yeah I'm not saying that the bear's beating the hippo but I'm

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just saying it's not all about biting hippo versus someone's people have googled this before of

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course they have since adult hippos can hold hold their breath for 30 minutes the brown bear won't

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be able to survive obviously grizzly bears are capable of fighting of being fierce killing machines

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but they're only the ultimate predator when they're on land well that yeah because that's a point in

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it uh you're taking a hippo which is I know is obviously lives on land but its natural state is

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in water that's where it thrives so you're taking it out of the water and put it on land with a

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grizzly bear it's only fair right two grizzly bears two hippos what the fuck one in the water

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one in the yeah we got one fight in the water and then one fight on land well then one the bear wins

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on land and the hippo wins in water yeah but does it I would imagine so reading on I've lost it

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oh wait I found it again um the grizzly bear didn't why is it talking as if it's already

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happened the grizzly bear didn't stand a chance when this animal battle entered the water is this

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what is this actually happened hippos are highly aggressive unpredictable and often charge other

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animals or even humans a hippo would win a fight against a polar bear the hippo is larger stronger

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has better offensive powers this is top trumps and a defense that would allow it to last longer in a

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battle than a polar bear honey badgers are lethal honey badgers they are in call of duty

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they're are they in call of duty the gun honey badger do you know what a honey badger is yes

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an animal yeah they're quiet they're I think I was reading something like that

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they're ferocious because they they can't feel pain the same way that other animals feel pain

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or they can't process it properly so they don't they don't understand when they're hurt

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so they just keep going and going and going and going and that's why they're so aggressive

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but they're only little they ain't got they fight nothing bigger they well they fight lions

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yeah they're just getting eaten no they don't this is what i'm saying honey badgers don't

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honey badgers are known for being vicious fearless and aggressive

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black apart from a silver gray and white mantle which will attack anyone who threatens them

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will attack anyone who threatens it um their skin is hard to penetrate and its looseness allows

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them to twist and turn on their attackers when held the only safe grip on a honey badger is on

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the back of the neck the skin is also tough enough to resist several machete blows this has been

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tried and tested they're machete resistant all right i know an animal that would beat a bear

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i've discovered one is it a land animal yes elephant correct yeah i get it yeah go on they

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can't have it they ain't got a bite force bears and elephants are both mammals but the bear is

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much smaller and lighter than an elephant an elephant is in a herbivore that weighs up to 12

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thousand pounds and stands 12 feet tall and a bear is a carnivore that weighs up to 900 pounds

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it stands about five feet tall 12 000 pounds an elephant to a bear's 900 yeah they're big man

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man very very big all they need to do is fall over on one and then you're dead but they're scared of mice

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i don't think they're actually scared of mice are they not

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elephants are aggressive when they've got young when they've got babies around them they are

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they are very aggressive extremely powerful extremely powerful me and stef have um because

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i've had a week off we went to the natural history museum and the science museum uh the other day

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and she had never been to the natural history museum before so obviously had to go in there

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and they've got uh i would imagine they're not the real ones because a lot of the stuff in there

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isn't actually real it's it's replicated off of the real versions of whatever it is and they had

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um the largest elephant tusks ever recorded and they were fucking huge and they said it's so rare

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i can't remember the exact size but i said it's so rare for them to get to this size because poachers

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obviously come and and take the tusks before they can get to to this size um but they were fucking

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huge man i'm gonna guess that maybe they're like 15 foot long massive fucking things we smartened

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it just some of these stats how much do you think an elephant can carry can carry seven tons seven

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tons it's the equivalent of 130 adult humans equivalent of an articulated lorry is what it

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fucking jesus they can run at 15 and a half miles an hour bears can run bears can run up to 30 miles

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an hour yeah have you not said fuck me i'm running faster than me wait have you not bear running

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um there's a um god where is it it was a fucking tick tock i see of a bear fucking running and i

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oh jesus it was like solidifying that you would not be able to outrun one of these bears because

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they are fucking quick but yeah they're almost guaranteed to lose in a fight against an elephant

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but you know it's a worthy opponent isn't it let's be honest trying to find this video of a grizzly

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bear running now i'm not going to be able to find it am i i just think you'd be fucked as as humans

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you really would be done in well i know we're like apex predators but we really shouldn't be

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yeah only because we're smart enough and we've got weapons to keep our distance that's the only

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reason that we're apex is because we're clever and because we use tools on a on a base human

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so you take peak peak human being muscle and everything and and athletic performance and all

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of that it still ain't nothing compared to some of the other shit that's in this world no you know

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what i mean it's just the bear man just the average bear you got no hope you have to get very lucky

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against the smallest of beasts well yeah i don't think i could take a dog to be honest with you

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i think a dog kills me if we're fighting so you know you reckon you can take on a dog well it

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depends what the dog is do you think you could kill you think just you hand-on-hand combat not

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like no surprise sneak attacks you're put into a ring you and a fucking german shepherd you think

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that that dog's already aggressive and and you haven't started fighting yet and then you both

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like launched together at the same time that dog's beating you bro that dog's grabbing you around the

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throat ripping out your fucking see my my nana's got two german shepherds i love she's had loads

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in the past and they're one of them's called soldier and he's the nicest dog you'll ever meet

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but i was talking to stef about it does not understand his own size he's fucking huge and

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that cunt comes running up to you and he will jump on you he just knocks you straight to the ground

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he's massive but i've always found that with big dogs i can play a lot rougher with them than i

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can with of course little dogs i'm not fucking pinging a chihuahua across the field but i'm

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confident in my ability to take a chihuahua i'm not gonna lie but i reckon i could take on a

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german shepherd no not if it's already if you're sneak attacking it yeah if you're if it's not

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aware it's about to fight and you get the upper hand grab it around no i'm getting a headlock

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i think you've done it straight on straight on there's a german shepherd running towards me

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i reckon i'll be able to take it no chance because it ain't it doesn't have the force in its jaw

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to rip my limbs off it will do some fucking damage but i don't think it'll be enough to

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stop me from getting hold of its neck and just snapping it i think it i think it would bite you

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enough for you to let go of whatever it was you're about to do and then it just ripped your throat

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out i think dogs are trained to not trained but an aggressive dog will go for the throat

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so i think if it goes for your throat i think you're fucked if you're putting a ring

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and there's fucking 20 meters between you and you're both bearing your fangs at each other i

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think the dog wins you know what i mean we can't beat dogs unless i unless i get with a haymaker

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before it makes contact it's running towards me and it jumps up to fucking pants on my face

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yeah bang i fucking just side swiped it and it's on the floor i've gone in guillotine straight in

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ref comes out one they're doing you for stamina as well you're running a 100%

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100 mate i'm running out of puff just running to this fucking podcast room let alone fighting a

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german shepherd yeah i don't think i don't think we could take on dogs so we're lucky that animals

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haven't figured out a way to use tools properly yet i can barely take on bugs yeah well yeah i know

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you was in incap incapacitated by a few bumps on your skin you got a few spots and had to go

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hospital that's how weak we are i weren't doing good leave me alone leave me be i i yeah bugs are

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a whole nother level for me i can't do bugs i mean a mozzie would kill us a bad mozzie with a dizzy

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with a dizzy disease we're done we're toast yeah but you could also kill it very easily oh yeah i

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know slap you're dead but they're we're talking like well it's so silent it's a silent killer i'll

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just be sleeping and go i'll wake up when i'm dead bugs in themselves oh man this natural history

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museum looking at the bugs in there some of them bees have seen them bees attacking people hornets

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and shit just bees fuck me fuck me man i can't do it man bugs yeah that's just little spider will

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kill you i think bugs terrify me because they just they just no brains it's all chemical they're not

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they're they ain't fucking real man bugs are just weird there ain't a fault that's going on and that

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thing's fucking noggin it's just running on pure instinct and chemical reaction it ain't got no

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fucking remorse if i'm being chomped on by a grasshopper i don't know what praying mantis whatever

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there's a massive praying mantis that's got hold of me it ain't feeling no remorse because it's

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killing me they're horrible any bugs are fucking grim i want to sit forward just in case there's

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a praying mantis behind me i can't do them i can't do the bugs i really can't they're grim

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what is the worst bug that if it was massive would be the worst it's gotta be spiders and actually

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slugs massive snow yeah but slugs ain't gonna do much of that and snails ain't gonna do much

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yeah i know but just to see that'd be freaky but yeah spider if spiders become big we're all fucked

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if spiders become there are places where there's spiders where they are the size of dinner plates

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yeah i'm talking like the size of cars oh oh you're talking about big giant fucking animals

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if there was a bug that i just couldn't deal with and they were they were that big spider is up there

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it's like she lob or sheet whatever it's called in lord of the rings she lag she lag whatever

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she something um yeah they're they're fucking lethal but humans or well you see king kong movie

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ain't you you know where they end up in the fucking crevice and then there's a massive crickets and

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shit i couldn't and they're all fighting them off no yeah if i had a gun at that point i'd turn it

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on myself and put a couple rounds in my head because i ain't fighting them them big cricket

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them big cricket things no yeah yeah absolutely not and then them fucking centipedes and shit

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that were running around like fucking cunts i couldn't do it i can't do it what do you think

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of bugs patrons because i can't fucking stand them do you like indiana jones no and the temple of

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doom never seen it there's a bit where he puts his hand in a hole and his little bugs crawling up

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no it's awful it's fucking awesome it's just it's the ones that have loads of legs man i can't

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it's wings wings wings wings i don't know the name of it let me just google big bug with wings

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big bugs with wings and we'll we'll have a look see some of these horrible fucking creatures

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dragonflies they're sweet cicadas they can fuck off them fucking things harmless absolutely harmless

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no absolutely not big fuckers you're like fun with wings i ain't whatever the fuck this is look at

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that thing look at it you said to me last time you scared of moths or something i can't stand them

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yeah and you've got more tattooed on you that would make a cool tattoo but if that thing

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the size of it and he's just holding it like it's a normal being giant flying bug with fangs

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discovered in china let's just rewind for a second and remind where we're on this subject

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you the man that's scared of moths thought he could fight his way out the inside of an anaconda

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yes yes because they're different i'm telling you bugs are different they're a different kettle of

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fish man they are oh look at look at the size of this cunt right here look at that atlas moth no

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thank you sir the size of that doesn't do anything for me it does for me if that's flying in the

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windows i'm leaving don't don't get me wrong i wouldn't like a massive one but i'm exiting out

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the room i wouldn't run away from it it's just a bit at that point it's just a big bird isn't it

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it was just a bird yeah but it's just i think i'll tell you why i don't like bugs why i hate them so

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much they're unpredictable i know what i know what a seagull is gonna do you're gonna nick your

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chips it's gonna nick my chips but it ain't gonna come for my throat is it really and truly if it

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does it's fucked up that's right that's an animal i feel i could take one of them anyway i'm taking

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a seagull on but but a bug i've got no idea what's going on in its head no they don't you can't work

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on anything if i if i plonk a dog here there's a robin there if i plonk a dog right here we can see

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how the dog's feeling if i go and get ruth she's gonna grab onto your legs so we know we know how

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she's feeling you can see it in her face if i put a giant fucking praying mantis here you ain't

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figuring out what it's doing i'm not taking my eyes off it because i'm i know you're not taking

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your eyes off it but you ain't going to be able to see if it's upset or anything that's what i mean

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i'm not taking my eyes off i don't trust it maybe it's anxious it doesn't want to be here as much as

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we don't want to be here but we don't know that we don't know that so he's gonna hit us with its

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with his fucking claw things and he's gonna hold us and then our brains out

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i just can't do it they're so grim this is why i'd love to go to places like japan

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china indonesia i'd like to i'd like to go to places like that but you get your revenge there

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because they eat them i know they eat them but that but they eat them that's scary though the

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fact that they eat them means that they thrive over there there's enough of them for there to

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be a whole market to match produce them and eat them so that must mean that there's loads of them

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knocking around so i don't want to come into contact with them i was lucky when i went to

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australia didn't see fuck all nothing everything was fine but it's just not something that i can

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cope with yeah i'm not i'm not massively fond of bugs i can see why they have um arachnophobia

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settings in games and then i don't get that personally i've never been that frightened of

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a bug to not be able to see it in media yeah yeah media form i'm fine if it's in front of me i can't

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do it but yeah watching it i'm absolutely fine i'll be like oh that's gross but i could understand

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it because some people are fucking terrified of spiders apparently it's the way that they move

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i yeah i am i wouldn't say i'm terrified of spiders i'm i'm not i'm not a fan of them and i can't pick

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them up but if there's a spider in the gas gems like ah can you get rid of it and i'll get a bit

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of paper and a glass and i'll chuck out a window but i couldn't pick it up with me depends how big

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it is it doesn't matter how big it is even if it's little i'm not picking up my hand if it's house

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no i mean putting a glass over it if it's house spider one of them big ones i ain't going near it

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oh no i'll glass it you have one time actually you're glassed it no one time i was sitting on

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the sofa headphones on everyone's in bed uh and i was playing playstation and i kid you not this

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fucking spider just sprinted across in front of me like it was making a mad thought i thought i was

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just i don't know how's the time now's the time and i was like uh it was fucking huge and it scared

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the fuck out of me and it sprinted out into the hallway so i just grabbed this glass nothing else

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just a glass and i fucking dive was you home alone no no everyone was asleep in bed and i dived on it

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and i put the glass on it and it was honestly and it was like fucking yeah it's a glass the glass

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started cracking i didn't know i mean it was in there and i was like fuck that i didn't know what

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to do with it so i left it i fell asleep what i wake up to oh it wasn't there was it everlyn

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in the morning what's this glass

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was she holding it no she just saw the glass i thought she was gonna spider was still there

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pick it up yeah she just knocked it over when she come out in the morning wake up she's standing

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there with the empty glass yeah what was this on the floor oh fuck lockdown where is it yeah

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no fucking hell man yeah it's a paper trick because i can't hurt them i'm not i can't hurt bugs or

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anything i can't do anything like that but i also i'm terrified to pick up big spiders yeah see i

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don't want to hurt them and it's very rare that i do but i don't it's an instinct that kicks in

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with big spiders where the last time i i had a had a serious encounter with one is i went to go to

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bed and i saw one of the motherfuckers run across my room and i went no i can't i cannot go to sleep

300
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knowing that that thing is running around and it ended up going under my bed and the way that i

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found it is i shone a torch under the bed and the light bounced off of its eyes oh my yeah it bounced

302
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off of that fucking thing's eyes right so what i did is i got the only thing that i could and that

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was deodorant and i sprayed that fucking thing with deodorant until it come running out of that bed

304
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and it come running out the deodorant it must have been fucking immune to it because it weren't

305
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getting it and i'm terrified of them i'm screaming and genuinely screaming i can't do them and i

306
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shit you not this thing you know how we spoke about before where you bat a moth and that moth

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is now magnetized to you it won't fucking leave you alone you bat them off away from your face it's

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constantly trying to get down your throat this is what this spider did i attacked it with deodorant

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and it had the audacity to attack back i genuinely it fucking ran from under the bed straight towards

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me and out of fear it was fight or flight i just stomped on it i but i didn't know what was going

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on i didn't know that i was capable of doing that because i was so fear-stricken and it was getting

312
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cloaked it was literally it was probably like from here to my boots running towards me full pelt

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and i just went and then just stomped on it and you heard it crush into the carpet it was huge

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i didn't pick it up i just fucking just into the carpet there's a dead spider down there upside

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down one see look even that even that itself it might just be the skin of a spider i think

316
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that is the skin just shedded its skin in itself it's just it's just too much another thing they

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just take their skin off and go and leave replicas of their cells hairs on my back are fucking standing

318
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on end of tucking my t-shirt in so i don't crawl up my arse crack i can't do it look at them yeah

319
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yeah i agree this spider's fucking horrible i'll pick them up i'll get rid of them if i have to but

320
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yeah oh you ain't catching me holding my tranches with the snails are decent don't mind them

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would you lay in a bath and have tarantulas poured all over you for a million what they do when i'm a

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celeb oh for a million quid there ain't a lot that i wouldn't do for a million quid would you if i'm

323
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honest would you let an anaconda swallow you and try to fight your way out am i giving tools no

324
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you're confident you could do it with your toenails if i have a couple months to grow the nails out

325
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i reckon i'm slicing through no but if you throw money in the way there's a lot of stuff that

326
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people would do you for a million pound you have to sleep in this room all right door shut locked

327
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for the whole night peach blackness with a it's just a room full of bugs

328
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like all sorts of bugs all of them yeah loads spiders that big flying thing that i sent a picture

329
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of then it's dark as well pitch black and you're just laying in loads of them oh this is fucking

330
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everywhere all these spiders all on the roof everywhere they're covered completely covered

331
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in bugs this is fucking making me feel grim um have i got a blanket yeah but the blanket's covered

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bro oh that's covered as well yeah well the whole room is covered so you're like laying there you

333
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can put a blanket over you but the blanket's got bugs under it on it the mattress has got bugs

334
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everywhere am i am i already in the room and then the bugs are being entered into the room or the

335
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is it already a bug-infested room that i've got so the imagine the it's this room i'm on the other

336
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side am i able to walk in and get settled in and then the bugs come in or the bugs already in here

337
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and i've got to come in i would say we will be quiet and you can get in and get let me get in

338
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first the bugs are going to be coming through a tube they're just going to be like hoovered

339
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hoovered constantly direction into the room so what are we saying from from from six to six

340
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six or six trust me you ain't getting no sleep because they're going to be everywhere

341
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and you can't relax because you'll be laying there get off me oh get off me and you can't see

342
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it's pitch black you don't even know what's fucking on you i'm doing it i'm not doing it

343
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i'm not doing it i knew i'd get you i'm not doing it yeah even if even if i had a nice duvet that i

344
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could completely like engulf myself in and then tuck all the sides in completely tuck it so

345
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nothing's getting in absolute maybe then you your brain will be telling you something's on me

346
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something's on me yeah something something would be on me but i'd be covered by it you know you

347
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know how you put the covers over your head the monsters at night can't get you you know what i

348
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mean no you don't have your feet out the bed because then the fucking thing under the bed

349
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ain't gonna grab you as long as they're under the covers there's some form of um comfort there

350
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you're going protected by this blanket or this duvet i feel like that's what would be like because

351
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if there was ever a moth that entered my room when i was in bed the only thing that i would do is get

352
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under those covers and stay under until i could sort of work out where the moth was what you what

353
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you actually like that scared the moths even now so if i'm off come flying in here now you drop your

354
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mic and run out there potentially really i'm over a moth depends how big it is that's one up there

355
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there's a little spider up there the little moths and shit i'm fine with it's them binds where you

356
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:52,080
can fully hear it flapping its wings i can't i can't do them i'm not a fan of things flying

357
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around my ears yeah they have to die yeah that's my that's my mentality with bugs and anything like

358
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that if i will only attack it if i fear that it's gonna it has but it has the potential to cause

359
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harm to me or others around me then i'm not interested in it you know i won't i won't round

360
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me squash animals or bugs or whatever you want to call it if i can enter this room and but i suppose

361
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that defeats the object of it because if i can completely cover myself in a duvet or something

362
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so that they cannot come into physical contact with me you're saying that and you're hoping but

363
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mate they're bugs they're gonna get under this fucking tight fucking there's no way you can hold

364
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a duvet down tight enough that ants ain't crawling in under there and shit and even then you pitch

365
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black so you're gonna feel you're not gonna be able to tell you're gonna be saying jump my leg up it

366
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won't be but you're like oh fucking hell and then you'll jump and then a bit of the duvet will come

367
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ah no and then they all start coming in yeah no and then you get the duvet off you but don't

368
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max and there's all bugs flying around anyway and oh they're just everywhere it's a fucking bug fest

369
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and then the lights come on at six o'clock the next morning and you realize it was all just a

370
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figment of your imagination i was just playing bug sounds into the room do i get the money though

371
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yeah i still get the money if if i did it and then the buzzer went off you're done come out reese

372
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i don't even think that you would have time to unlock the door i think i'm just i'm just fucking

373
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oh yeah just smashing through the fucking thing yeah they're not they're not for me man

374
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now bugs ain't for me no i'm not a fan i'm not a fan of bugs let us know in the comments what you

375
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think about bugs give us your thoughts on bugs there's only one bug i think that i realistically

376
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:48,000
will kill on sight um and i don't do it very often one because i can't and two i just don't

377
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:55,600
but there's two actually flies and wasps flies because they just carry diseases and just get away

378
00:39:55,600 --> 00:40:02,080
from me i can't kill them because they're too quick um and wasps if you're coming up anywhere near me

379
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:07,440
you want to hurt me i'm gonna whack you wasps i leave alone completely because i don't want to be

380
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:16,880
buzzed but flies i got very good at getting them with a t-tail not like whacking them but fully like

381
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:22,400
whipping them with the end of a t-tail i got very good and then for a little period

382
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:27,280
very ironic considering what we've just spoken about i had a spider farm

383
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:37,360
and it's just a little pot and you make your own habitat and then you can keep a spider

384
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:42,320
you just go and take a spider off the street or something like that obviously you had to

385
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:47,360
feed the things because it's in a in a container so you had to feed it flies or whatever and you

386
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:52,560
had this tiny little pot like a little fucking what you're pissing to when you do a drugs test

387
00:40:53,440 --> 00:41:00,800
and i used to use that to catch flies and there was somewhere i'll catch them midair like with the

388
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:04,880
with the thing and then putting the lid on it fucking mr meows yeah i got decent with it

389
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,800
but yeah i used to have a little spider little spider farm thing it didn't last massively long

390
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,160
i got really impressed because one of them started making a web and everything i was like yeah this

391
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,960
geese has got some home and i got bored of it and swapped it out for another one

392
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:21,120
basically god at that point you've created Noah's ark pretty much yeah i was the one that was

393
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:26,560
feeding it and i was the one that was giving it sanctuary until i belted it into the garden

394
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:33,040
and then forgot about it it got eaten by a bigger spider nice that's that well yeah thanks for the

395
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:40,080
thanks for the patreons thanks for your money and this has been satin um star wars Jedi survivor is

396
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,080
very good 10 out 10 there's our gaming knowledge you've already heard that look you had a whole

397
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:48,880
podcast of gaming knowledge sometimes we just got we just got to let loose you know this is stressful

398
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:54,880
let us know if you like this different take on the patreon uh of animals and insects not necessarily

399
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:58,400
be this but you never know we might talk about something else i just talk shit for a little bit

400
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:02,720
do you want just games tell us because you're the ones that control this whole thing

401
00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:09,760
we have no saying it whatsoever we we are your puppets touch us we are but your blank canvas

402
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:19,920
fill us in fill us up fill us up and on that note um are you here next week why would not be what's

403
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:26,080
next week oh just another week speaking of next week here's some gaming news for you fucking

404
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:32,720
Zelda tears the kingdom comes out next week so you know Zelda tears the kingdom comes out and stef

405
00:42:32,720 --> 00:42:37,120
obviously hasn't finished breath of the wild not through lack of trying she just can't bring herself

406
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:45,040
to finish it and obviously she the the tears of the kingdom switch arrived and we took it out the

407
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:51,680
box to make sure because it arrived fucking dented right so i thought i was fine there'll be loads of

408
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:57,840
padding in the box there ain't literally where the fucking screen is there's probably like two

409
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:03,040
millimeters worth of fucking cardboard and then it's the outside world and that's where the dent

410
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:07,440
was so we kind of had to switch it all on and make sure it was all working it was all sweet um but

411
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:14,080
stef has said that she ain't touching tears of the kingdom until she's like completely breath of the

412
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:18,160
wild and she's only going to do tears of the kingdom on this switch because obviously it's

413
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:24,000
very fitting but her birthday is the 8th of june and i did say to her you can have this switch now

414
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:31,440
because she got it last week um but she's for some reason refusing so it's just sitting in the way

415
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:37,680
next to my laptop how can she teach me this level of patience i don't fucking understand it either

416
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:42,080
i'm like if i could pay 100 pound now to pay tears of the kingdom a week earlier would because i've

417
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:47,440
not even that bothered about it but i got it for her birthday and well obviously tears of the

418
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:52,880
kingdom ain't on it yeah i know but you're saying that she's not going to play tears of the kingdom

419
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:57,360
on anything but that console she's going to wait till next month yes to play this brand new game

420
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:02,320
she's waited fucking years for i don't know how she's doing bearing in mind she's got the very

421
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:07,120
first nintendo switch that come out so obviously this one's an oled as well so it looks so much

422
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:12,880
better than the one that she's already got and it will feel absolutely brand new and all that shit

423
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:17,440
and i said to her i said it's a birthday present but i said you can have it because it's here

424
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:25,200
i got a week off be perfect time to to get get suited to it no no but i've told her multiple

425
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:28,400
times you can have it so now i'm gonna call her bluff and she ain't fucking getting it till the

426
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:33,200
eighth i admire her patience i wish i could have an inch of that i wish i could have it but i just

427
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:39,360
know i haven't it genuinely makes me feel genuinely sad that i'm probably gonna have to wait four or

428
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:45,920
five years for the next star wars jedi survivor fucking game and every time as i've said before

429
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:50,400
when something like this happens i the next god of war the next star wars i worry that i'm not

430
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:55,760
gonna be alive the next time this game comes out four years is a long time to stay alive what do

431
00:44:55,760 --> 00:45:01,760
you mean what do you mean anything could happen i could get cancer i could get hit by a car i could

432
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:07,120
fucking die at work with the dangerous things that we have to do this is very true there's a lot of

433
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:12,880
danger in the world fun fact i nearly died twice this is what i mean so there's you know three four

434
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:19,840
years is a long time to wait so i worry i might die before i get to see the conclusion of calcas's

435
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:24,160
story never mind about your family that you'll leave behind and all of that the podcast will

436
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:30,800
be no more it's just you won't be able to see the next star wars calcas's journey must end

437
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:36,640
i must see the end does it end i imagine so it's a trilogy i guess so calcas just in

438
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:43,440
actual like live action he is the he the geezer that plays him is the geezer that you see in the

439
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:49,440
game and there's a lot of rumors that he will appear so is calcas just in any movies or anything

440
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:54,560
no he's like a new story he's completely but there is a lot because it it is set at the same time as

441
00:45:54,560 --> 00:46:00,160
the obi-wan kenobi series so there's a lot of there could be potential tie-ins of him popping

442
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:06,160
up anytime during the asoka series or anything it could pop up anything and he's like an actor

443
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:11,840
essentially so he could definitely play his part incredible he's very incredible i love it i want

444
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:18,320
to play star wars not me now all right i'm gonna leave you there you little fucking maggots

445
00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:24,480
i've had enough i've had enough of you you've heard our little conversation

446
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:31,360
you've heard my fascination with bugs let us know what you think and we don't don't don't hold back

447
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:40,400
oh one more thing go on sam parks my friend i'm sorry you have appointed sam aladis as your

448
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:49,200
manager i find it very funny so ha ha ha ha enjoy the worst football you will ever see under any

449
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:55,440
manager be it in the premier league or the championship i hope you stay up who does he

450
00:46:55,440 --> 00:47:01,200
support leads oh yeah we're united and uh yeah you think they're playing yellow they're playing

451
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:08,080
white but nevertheless sam aladis is now their manager i hope he keeps you up but if he does

452
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:16,320
or doesn't if he stays there you will enjoy the worst football you'll ever see i'm sorry just

453
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:22,640
looking at the premier league table i'm trying to get a bit more into football now okay okay i've

454
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:25,840
been talking to mark about it quite a bit and the people at work and they're not having it because

455
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:31,040
of how much i don't like football so everyone thinks i'm taking the piss when i start talking

456
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:37,680
to him about stats and things like that but i am i am interested in it i was following west down

457
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:41,040
for quite a bit because there was a horrible part of me that kind of wanted to see them

458
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:46,480
get fucked over wow just because of the connection i don't know why

459
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:54,000
anyway maybe it's like a bruise that you like to push i don't know i'm gonna bruise on an apple

460
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:58,640
until your thumb goes through it but you're doing fine now anyway it doesn't matter well

461
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:03,280
not really i know i could end up with egg on my face and we could go down at leeds expense

462
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:11,360
ah so you've got not on forest leads and lester all on 30 yeah and then you're 34

463
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:17,840
it's close so it is how many more games are there to play four oh so there's a potential 12 points

464
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:25,760
up for grabs still they're still tight south hampton yeah but yeah i just wanted to take

465
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:31,200
that moment to laugh at sam but also say my condolences but also show some empathy because

466
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:37,760
i do feel for you because i've been relegated and it hurts um so yeah i just feel for you for sam

467
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:43,280
alice basically hopefully keeps you up genuinely hopefully stay up but uh whatever happens the

468
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:50,160
football's gonna be shocking so uh yeah all the best with that and uh thanks to all the other

469
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:57,360
patreons we love you lots fucking flies thanks for all your messages thanks for all your money

470
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:01,840
what are you laughing at just i thought that would have been a good ending just thanks for you

471
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:11,120
man let's go all right