Podcast time, motherfucker.
It's podcast time.
Ha ha ha.
Choking on the coffee.
Sorry.
I got, what?
What's wrong with it?
I mean, it's just coming out my nose.
I wasn't expecting that.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah.
Hello.
We're back.
Episode, uh,
what is this?
Too many.
It was 18, 19.
I think it's some shit.
Yeah, 19, isn't it?
19.
Uh,
Oh fucking.
It's 19.
It's in the double digits, isn't it?
Yeah, it's 19.
19.
Nearly 20.
What's that button?
Oh,
let me flick it on for you.
Oh.
Is it bullshit written on top of it?
Yeah, yeah.
It's my bullshit button.
is that specifically for this?
If you think I'm talking shit,
you can press that button.
I can do, yeah.
I'll leave that on.
All right.
I'll leave that on.
And if I think you're talking shit,
I'll press my button.
Let's put it in the middle, shall we?
So,
I'll press my bullshit button.
Well,
If anyone presses the bullshit button,
you need to explain exactly what it is.
There's a Leviathan axe in the middle.
That's all right.
Just pop it here.
Nice little flex there.
Yeah, yeah.
Put it over the room.
Not my fucking God of War room.
Look.
I don't know about that.
It's cosmetic, isn't it?
Whack it here.
Look.
Bosh.
On X marks the spot.
Make sure it works.
Oh shit, I'm out of here.
That's fantastic.
What a good little score for me.
Introduce me then.
Oh,
I'm with the Prince Among Men,
as if people don't already know who you are.
No one's tuning into episode 19
as their first episode, I'd hope.
You'd be surprised.
Maybe, maybe.
But yeah, the Prince Among Men is with me.
Ash the Man is here.
Obviously, we all know who I am.
And we're here to talk some shit.
Yeah.
Talking shit and that.
As always.
So we start off
with the Patreon thank yous.
Cheers to everyone.
We haven't, it's such a small number
that it's too embarrassing to start reading names out.
So we.
It's actually not, but thanks.
But we support every single one of you.
No, they support us.
We just thank them.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, they support us.
We give them virtual hugs.
And it seems to be working for now.
Until next month when they all cancel.
We appreciate you.
But yeah, if you wanna give us some money.
We sound like such begs.
We are.
Every episode.
I gotta plug it.
Patreon.com forward slash watch the buttons.
Simple as that.
Two pound 50.
Just give us your money.
That's that.
Yeah, basically.
The tears aren't here yet.
We're getting there.
They will be if you don't subscribe.
Yeah.
Yeah, the podcast is moving location
over the garden basically.
That's how well we're doing.
We've already upgraded the office.
One room to the next.
And I was just saying to Ash,
the layout is better to have another person
because the layout that we're in at the moment
to get a third or fourth person in here,
even though we don't have the equipment.
But if we did, it's quite difficult
because I don't know where they're fucking sit.
So where we're going to, it could be, I don't know.
It's making me more tempted to pull the trigger
and get that third person in.
And then we'd have to find a third person
that wants to come on and do this shit.
You can add something whenever you want.
You know what I mean?
I'm just listening to you waffling on, mate.
Wanna crack on?
Sure, sure.
That's that.
Witcher.
This is you.
I know this is my show, but this is you.
Witcher 1 remake.
That was a good bit of news that's come out of nowhere.
Good bit of news?
I nearly dropped my phone.
Good bit of news.
In Unreal Engine 5, that's gonna look fan fucking-tastic.
I know, I know.
I can't wait for that.
I literally rang you, and as I rang you,
I canceled the call screen
because there was a notification come up
saying Witcher, so I pulled it down
and said Witcher 1 remake in Unreal Engine 5.
And I was like, what the fuck?
And then you answered and I couldn't really talk.
I was like, what do you want?
I put a little post up on the Instagram.
I saw that, yeah.
Gerold with his little thumbs up.
It's, do we know what?
Hey!
What the fuck was that?
Hey!
He's goofy.
He ain't goofy, bro.
He's smackin' silly.
What?
Do we know what Witcher it is that's being remade?
Witcher 1.
Witcher 1?
Was that a good one?
I've never played it.
Right.
No, I've watched it on YouTube.
Yeah.
I've watched the full playthrough of it before.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's no, it looks awful now.
Obviously it's aged terribly.
Yeah, yeah.
This is the prime example of when remake should happen.
Yeah, so I quickly Googled.
Witcher 1 came out about 15, 20 years ago.
It looks awful and it was PC only.
So there's a huge chunk of people that have never played it,
including myself, being Witcher 3,
being my favorite game of all time,
would love nothing more than to jump into
the Witcher 1 and experience it.
But I haven't really got a PC.
To be fair, the laptop could probably run the Witcher 1.
It's that old.
Yeah.
But yeah, I don't know.
It might be a bit, maybe I'll do that.
Maybe I will.
It doesn't look too bad.
No, your wrist won't be able to survive it.
Yeah, probably not.
Well, you could always connect a controller to it.
Yeah, but it just depends.
Like I say, the good thing for me is,
and for a lot of others, is like,
you know what it's like when they remake a game
that you love and you're like,
I hope they don't change this.
I hope they stay true to the original.
I haven't got that feeling towards it.
I haven't got that nostalgia.
Like Knights of the Old Republic remake, RIP.
Hopefully that still materializes.
Obviously I only just played that myself recently,
but there's still bits that I'll be like,
I hope they don't change that too much and stuff.
Whereas Witcher 1, I got no, I got nothing.
But a lot of, like you say, it is sort of rare
when they do a remake and they actually remake a game
that's been out for over a fucking decade.
Normally it's like five years
and they'll just sprint out another remake.
So graphically, this sort of leap
from whatever engine it was running on there
when it first come out to Unreal Engine 5,
that's gonna look fucking mental.
That's such a big leap from, you know what I mean?
That's like going from black and white to 8K.
Like it's crazy.
It has been outsourced to someone else.
It's not actually CD.
Is it not CD?
It is, I can tell you who it is
because Fools Theory are doing it.
I have no fucking idea.
No, I don't.
Fools Theory is a collective of AAA veterans
who share a simple philosophy,
an unbridled passion and flexible process
is the perfect combo for crafting a great game.
They're from Poland.
I'm reading that from their Twitter bio, 3,700 followers.
And it did say on the announcement post, I believe,
or something, they said,
we're thrilled to reveal that together with Fools Theory,
we're working on remaking The Witcher
using Unreal Engine 5 code name Canis Majoris.
We wanna do this right, so please be patient.
It's gonna be awhile until we can share more details.
I read something and it said that they'd be overseeing
obviously the work that they're gonna do.
So we'll see.
But as long as, like I said,
I can't compare it to anything.
There's no dates.
There's no nothing.
There's no screen grabs.
There's nothing to sort of say what is gonna.
We're talking six, seven years, probably.
No, I don't know.
I'm getting to this.
This is the sad thing now.
I'm getting to the age and the feeling where,
like Cyberpunk 2, for example, or whatever you might call,
I worry that I might not be alive when it comes out.
Not because it's gonna be so long,
but I feel like every three or four years, quite a lot now.
Is it?
Do you know what I mean?
You're trying to dodge all the diseases that get people.
Yeah, but we thought that with GTA 6
and it's only around the corner, sort of.
Well, even then there's no fucking date for that.
No, exactly.
So, I don't know, man.
I don't know.
I'm getting a bit worried.
There's a lot of games I ain't gonna be able to see.
Is that a depressing view on it?
That's the age I am.
I'm starting to worry.
You're not that fucking old.
You're in your 30s, man.
It won't be long till I have to put a finger
in my bum and have a little check.
You're in your 30s?
Yeah, I am, but still I'm pushing 40.
You're not though, are you?
You ain't.
You just ain't.
Yeah, you're home.
I'm nearly closer to 40 than I am 30.
Nearly, but you ain't.
You're talking like you're fucking 70.
You'll be fine, man.
Oh, we'll see.
I hopefully.
But I'm not saying that I'm gonna die.
I'm just saying I'm getting to the age now
where I'm concerned that I might not see.
You ain't gonna be putting in any pre-orders.
Yeah, I might be pre-ordering games
and not live to see the release.
So, I might need to curb them pre-orders.
Fucking hell.
I just don't wanna catch one of them diseases before.
I never worry about that, if I'm honest.
You're young, aren't you?
A spring chicken.
I'm not, well, I'm not that much fucking younger than you are.
You are massively younger than me.
No.
About eight years?
Ten years?
Yeah, it's not that bad though.
Well, I'm not saying it's bad.
It's good.
I'm happy for you.
Oh, thanks.
I worked hard.
You're gonna live to see your pre-orders.
I'm the age that I am.
No.
But yeah, I'm excited for Witcher 1.
Obviously, there's no point going too far into it
because it's the monumental amount of time away,
but it's still exciting nonetheless.
Yeah, I think I'm so excited about games being made
in Unreal Engine 5 and how good that looks
that I'll fucking buy anything that's made in that
because I just think it looks fucking awesome.
So, I'll probably be one that's jumping on the Witcher 1
when that comes out in 10 years.
We've still got the Witcher 3 next-gen remake
or upgrade that they're doing.
They're still coming out this year, apparently.
So, we'll see here about that soon
because they're running out of a year to release it.
Yeah, I think we've got a lot of time left
and it has gone a bit quiet.
I thought, slightly off-subject,
that last weekend there was meant to be a load
of GTA 6 shit that come out.
Yeah, it didn't happen.
There was nothing.
So, all the sources that were trying to leak it saying,
yeah, reveal trade on blah, blah, blah,
it never happened.
I'm upset about that because I was really hoping
that I was gonna say December 2022.
Yeah, I feel you.
Never really.
There's this cool thing that I only found out yesterday.
It's Giza or woman or whoever it is.
146 tweets they've done.
They've got 25,000 followers.
And it's called GTA 6 trailer countdown.
And for a very long time, they just come out of nowhere.
No, they just come out of nowhere.
12% left until GTA trailer, 11% left.
So, for a long time they've been doing this.
And now it's down to, one day ago, it's down to 2% left.
So, if it turns out in a couple of days
that the reveal trailer comes out,
whoever this is knew and they've been counting down
for a long time.
It'd be very cool if they're right.
Or they're just talking absolute bollocks.
I'm gonna follow them.
And I'm gonna put notifications on.
And then if they're right.
And that's what they've done this for
because everyone's gonna follow and put notifications on.
Cause then I'll just unfollow if they're lying.
Like that Giza on TikTok that has convinced everyone
he's a time traveler, goes to all the places
and there's no one there.
I don't know, I don't watch TikTok.
That's a lie.
Well, I don't.
That's an absolute lie.
I haven't got TikTok.
That's an absolute lie.
Cause I follow you.
You're following nothing cause I haven't got it.
You used to though.
Yeah, I used to.
So did you.
And then you deleted it.
You obviously succumbed to the temptation
to go back and watch it.
Yeah, because I was just sitting on Instagram
watching TikTok.
Yes, I don't do that.
I'm a fucking dumb ass.
I'm a grown up.
Right, well, if you listened to the last episode
we had our tiny little insight
into the new Call of Duty campaign.
Because Ash had access to it.
And we speculated over how long the campaign itself was.
Now I knew because I Googled it right in front of him
but didn't tell him.
And when he spoke to me last week
what was your couple of hours in?
I said I was on mission eight.
Yeah, and you reckon that it was about a 20, 30 hour campaign.
I never said that once.
Oh, you said it was a long campaign.
It felt long.
You speculated that it's gonna be a long campaign.
It felt long, yeah.
How long was it?
That's seven hours.
Seven to nine hours I think you said.
Or was it good though?
Spoilers by the way,
if you haven't played the Call of Duty campaign.
I won't tell, I won't spoil the stories.
And I think, but I shall review it
to the best of my ability at this present moment in time.
Give it a rating.
I gave, I said I was eight missions in.
I wasn't, I was about 12 missions in.
Nice.
So all in all, I'd done the campaign in two sit-ins.
So I'd done it that night I think.
Was it that night I'd done it?
Must have been.
I believe so.
So, S, S plus.
You give it S.
I give it the highest rank I can give it.
Yeah.
It was. Good was it?
Phenomenal.
It was so good.
Did you do the La Porta potty achievement?
I don't know what that is.
There's a geyser in a Porta Lou,
and if you shoot him you get an achievement.
I didn't know that, no.
It is, yeah, it's the best Call of Duty campaign
I've ever played.
Yeah.
Oh, by far.
Of all the Call of Duties.
I genuinely believe that that is worth the money alone.
I reckon.
Honestly, it's that good.
Yeah.
It's that good.
Just it's not, it's changed so much.
It's not like your corridor shooters,
not like the old days when you just,
oh, I'm in a war zone, oh, a tank, shoot it,
oh, RPG, I'll blow that up,
oh, run this building, shoot these people,
run down here, blow this,
it's not like that no more.
The gameplay changed up so much.
You could be in an AC-130 providing cover fire
down for people using different,
sorry, 25 millimeter rounds and 50 millimeter rounds
and blowing buildings up.
The building blowing up and the destruction
is better than any battlefield has ever done.
I reckon.
Which is mental on its own.
The characters are just,
our voice acting is the best I've ever seen.
The acting is the best I've ever seen in any game,
voice acting and acting.
The facial capture, the graphics are the best
I've ever seen in any game.
Yeah, the graphics do look spot on.
And like I say, the gameplay is just,
it mixes it up all the time.
It's, you could be just doing a bit of shooting,
then you'd be doing stealth missions
and clearing out buildings,
but as if you are SAS kind of thing,
you know, going in, clear a room, you know,
and there'd be like a woman there going,
oh no, don't shoot, and then she pulls out an Uzi.
You know what I mean?
You can get it for 60 quid on Amazon.
It's worth every penny.
And.
I'm tempted.
There's,
there's, I don't want to spoil too much,
but there's a mission which really switches up
like something that's Call of Duty's never done before,
completely changed the game.
Felt like I was playing The Last of Us.
It was completely switched the game.
I was like, wow.
And that really shocked me.
And that looks like an interesting future for Call of Duty.
They're gonna start evolving this way.
Then yeah, Call of Duty could be,
become something, come out of its shell a little bit
and not just be, oh, another call.
It's going different ways, man.
I really believe this, this has potential to be,
it's the best Call of Duty campaign I've ever played,
but I think it's got the potential
to be the best Call of Duty ever.
Is that good?
You reckon?
Yeah, it is that good.
Cause you, cause you've played some
of the multiplayer as well, haven't you?
Yeah, I played, I played about an hour,
an hour and a half.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm getting slapped silly.
Like it's frustrating, but that all comes down to,
I don't know where, I don't know where all the choke points are.
The maps, I don't know them.
So I'm running around a corner.
I don't know if someone's going to be in a window.
I don't know if someone's hiding,
you know, when you get used to it,
someone normally shoots you from that window.
So you know when you come around a corner,
I'm going to look at that window.
You know, I don't know none of that yet.
So it's all.
Now you were talking about maps, the old maps.
There's one that you don't like.
Yeah, first map I ever played.
There's one that loads of people don't like.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not surprised.
It's just a, because Modern Warfare, the last one,
or the previous one to this one, not the old, old one.
It got a lot of stick for its maps
because Call of Duty has always used
a free lane map system, haven't they?
So you've got left lane.
It's not that simple, but that is how the maps are designed.
Yeah, you've got three channels in a map usually.
And this map is literally just one, one lane.
And it's just horrific.
But then again, it might've just been
because it was the first multiplayer game I've played.
And I'm running around these people
at level 25 and stuff, have been playing it all day.
And yeah, they've obviously got used to it
a little bit more.
They know where they're going.
I would've thought it sounds quite-
I'm just getting slapped silly.
Quite cool, just all out fucking warfare
because you're directly in front of the enemy
and there's just a couple of cars there in front of you.
I thought that would sound quite, but hmm.
But I don't know, I don't know.
You can't see over the top of the cars
and you don't know where, I don't know.
Maybe it would be better, but one of the best
multiplayer modes that Call of Duty has nowadays
is ground war, which is just battlefield.
Basically it's battlefield conquest.
Fucking loved ground war in World War II.
It's fucking- I loved it.
It's 24 versus 24.
Yeah, man, ground war's sick.
It's got all the objectives, A, B, C.
Yeah, hands down, my favourite game mode there is.
Yeah, hands down.
And that's in there.
And that's probably what I'll stick with for now.
Yeah, it's because it's nice and objective though.
You've got something more to do than just killing people.
It's nice.
Yeah, but they've got their multiplayer modes as well.
They've got all the capture the flags.
Three, four and all that shit.
Yeah, I don't really vibe with three, four TDM
because it's more sporadic then.
You don't really know, anyone can be anywhere
because there's no objective.
They're just running around like chickens.
When there's objectives, you can kind of play
a bit more tactically and think,
I'll come around this side because there are people.
So yeah, they've got all them multiplayer games,
but I like the-
Because what they've done now is really cool
in the new war zone when it comes out.
But you can see what the game is going to be like
in the helicopters now, instead of just,
if you're, I don't know, you played war zone.
So if you're flying the helicopter and someone gets in,
or you get in the helicopter that I'm flying,
you're just in the helicopter.
Now, if you get in a helicopter-
They can shoot.
Yeah, not just that, you're in the helicopter.
You can move around freely.
You can look out the back.
You can run around the back, peek over the edge,
look out the windows, run completely around the helicopter.
So you can spawn in someone's helicopter
that they're flying around and just boom, boom, boom,
beam down or jump out, parachute down on top
of one of the objectives.
Because the vehicles can run out of fuel now, can't they?
I don't know about that.
I think that I see somewhere that the land vehicles
can run out of fuel.
There's now underwater combat as well.
The underwater stuff is in the campaign anyway.
I can't speak for multiplayer yet.
I did do a bit of swimming in the multiplayer,
but yeah, in the campaign, yes, it's delicious.
It's good, yeah.
Everything about it, honestly.
I'm not normally one for, I'm normally just,
yeah, Call of Duty's campaigns are all right.
I don't mind playing them.
And then the multiplayer is the put-em-butter.
The campaign on this was, yeah,
it's well worth the admission fee for me.
But then I say people's mileage vary.
It depends.
You're happy to pay 60 quid
if you're only gonna play the single player.
And you might not enjoy it.
It might not be for everyone.
It might be too much.
But if you're gonna play multiplayer anyway,
then it's 100% worth it because the campaign to me
is the best Call of Duty campaign ever.
And then Modern Warfare is more my style.
I don't like the World War I's and World War II.
I like Modern Warfare.
I don't like Advanced Warfare or anything like that.
Just the modern.
There's no zombies in this, is there?
I don't think so, but there's rumors
that they're putting zombies in this.
But the most exciting mode is the DMZ mode,
which they haven't said too much about,
but they're very excited.
It's like Tarkov mode.
It's got some Tarkov.
Yeah, yeah, oh that's cool.
They, I think that they think is gonna be their big mode.
Right, it's gonna surpass Battle Royale.
The Battle Royale mode has been,
from what people have played, they're saying
it seems like it's been more designed for the Tarkov style.
And as I say, that mission that switches it up
in the campaign leans heavily towards
what you're gonna see in the DMZ mode.
And I say it completely switches up Call of Duty.
So if this hits and it hits anything near Warzone level,
I think they might, they could be onto something huge
with their multiplayer and Battle Royale and the DMZ mode.
It could just end up being crazy at this point.
So very exciting, very exciting time to be a Call of Duty fan.
Along with the download size,
it will also be absolutely massive.
I'm gonna hold off on buying it,
but it does look good.
It really does look good.
It is that good.
I'm gonna give props to them.
Because I made a mistake when I spoke on the last episode
saying that the engine that they're using
is an old ratty engine that must be on its last legs.
I was wrong in what I said.
It's actually an engine that they've sort of remade
and improved.
So they're using the same engine they always do,
but they've essentially remastered it,
which I'd imagine.
Remastering engine.
Pretty much, which I'd imagine is why it can look
so fucking good on an engine that is relatively old.
Because I was blown away by how decent it looks.
Fucking sick.
It does look good.
But yeah, so that's gonna rip you fully away
from Destiny 2.
Destiny what?
Fuck Destiny.
Destiny's dead to me, man.
I know when you said, when you said this is it.
This is it.
It's Destiny 2 and nothing else.
And it didn't take long, less than a month,
for you to have blitzed through it all.
And now you've had the fall off.
I haven't blitzed through it all.
Like that TikTok I sent you yesterday,
you're just a victim of that, ain't you?
The season fall off.
I've done the season pass.
I've got the guns that I wanted to get.
I've leveled up.
I've done what I aim to do,
which was a grand master for the first time.
I've got the platinum trophy.
When the season's like 90, when I started the season,
it was like 90 days left or something.
So it's a long time until the next season pass comes out,
which I've already got,
because I've pre-ordered Witch Queen.
When does Lightfall come out?
February.
Oh, so you've still got a couple of months there.
You've still got loads of seasons to go until,
so I think we've got season 19, season 20,
and then I think 21 will be Lightfall.
But in them, you'll have more season passes before that,
and the seasonal stories that come with it.
So there's still be more stuff to do
when the new season pass comes out.
But I say the Halloween thing,
I got the gun I wanted from the Halloween event.
They basically gifted a god roll.
I don't know if they meant to, but they did.
And I was like, that'll do me.
That's all I was looking for anyway.
So I didn't have to put in too much time.
Some of the Halloween events,
because I've been playing quite a few games,
and most of them have thrown in Halloween events,
and a lot of them have been shit.
Absolute garbage.
Just boring, boring, nothing new, the same shit.
Overwatch 2's Halloween shit are so angry.
I'm so fucking angry with Overwatch 2.
And I've texted you about it.
I've texted Jay complaining about it as well.
You gotta press it again.
Why?
Not having it.
What do you mean you're not having it?
You're saying you're sick of Overwatch 2?
No, I didn't say that.
What did you say?
I said I'm angry with it.
I'm annoyed with it.
I don't think you did.
We have to read that back.
You said something that wasn't angry.
You said like, I'm sick.
I'm sick of Overwatch 2.
I'm sick of it?
Yeah, that's probably what you said.
Yeah, I'm not sick of it.
So it's bullshit.
Explain yourself.
The fucking shop, that fucking stupid shop.
No, no, no, don't take your headset off.
I'm putting the light on.
Huh?
I'm putting the light on.
I can't see.
You could have asked me or I could have reached for it.
That fucking shop, yeah, the same four or five,
what is it, 35 heroes in this game?
The same fucking heroes are getting different skins.
Roadhog, Ash, fucking Kiriko.
You know what I mean?
This I agree with.
None of the other fuckers,
none of the other heroes that we all play
are getting anything.
Pharah's getting nothing.
I spent 18 pounds on something accidentally.
It's ridiculous, how?
I told you.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't realize there was another sniper in the game.
It's fucking stupid.
I saw the bird with a sniper rifle.
I saw that Halloween costume.
I was like, I need that.
18 pound for coins I got and then I bought it
and it, where's the skin?
It's not even for that character.
It's absolute bollocks.
And then you got the shop on at the moment.
Everything in there is shit.
I can't, is it Leia?
Leila, whatever her fucking name is,
one of the tanks, the tank class.
The outfit they've got for her,
she's just in a white top and white shorts.
It is a fucking, what a, and they're so expensive.
Minimum of 20 quid.
I can see why people are annoyed.
I know when I first started playing it,
I was like, yeah, I don't know why people are whinging
because it's free to play.
But now that I've got my teeth sunk into it,
it's so fucking greedy because you can't,
you can only get the in-game currency
through doing the challenges and you only get what?
10, 20, maybe 30 coins for doing your daily,
your weekly challenges.
So to get a skin that's 2100 coins, 1900 coins,
it's gonna take fucking forever to get that.
And then I was talking to Mark about it.
They're sneaky little bastards
because they'll put a skin on, say 36% off,
when it should have cost 5700 fucking coins
and it still costs 4000 something, you know what I mean?
Where's the variation?
Where's the Orissa skins?
You just reminded me.
The Farrah skins, the Brigitte skins.
I got proper shouted out on the net.
I was like, proper shouting.
Why?
She's like, what is going on?
Because he started coming out of control.
She's like, what's going on?
What did you do?
Nothing, I was just trying to play, man.
Who was you playing as?
Genji?
No, no, I dropped all them ones, man.
I'm the invisible hacking bitch.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's nails, bro, I'm dropping up 30 bombs.
No, she's been nerfed hard now.
No, I still think, because Genji's getting nerfed.
No, she's been...
I know, but Genji's pretty much borderline unplayable,
people are saying, you can't do nothing with him.
Because I know her hack ability,
the damage is down to 25% now.
What was it?
It was 45%.
It was 45%, the damage has been nerfed down to 25%.
That's all right though,
because you're dead before you notice.
And you can't keep hacking.
That doesn't bother me, I only hack once anyway.
I hack them, I bang them,
and then if I, because I put my little teleport
on a health pack, I run in,
can I kill this person before they kill me?
No, back I go, health back in, invisible.
That's the way you're supposed to play it.
Yeah, she's powerful.
That's what I was doing.
But you know when you're playing,
and you're just like, yeah, I'm into it,
but I'm not that into it.
I'll just vibe a little bit, I'll just play a little bit.
That's what I was doing, but I was in the ranked lobby.
But I was doing a lot of-
You can't just chill when you're in a ranked lobby.
What are you doing in a ranked lobby, just chilling?
No one, right, finish your story,
I'll explain why you was angry.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't give a fuck.
It's like, I'm not even in the ranked,
I'm in like the warmup lobbies before you even get to-
I was bullshit.
That's the perfect one.
You were in a ranked lobby, you just said I was in a ranked
lobby.
I'm in the warmup lobbies for the ranked.
What do you mean the warmup lobbies?
The ones we have to get ranked,
so you have to play games before you even get a rank.
Yeah, but you're still in ranked.
Anyway.
Because not everyone's in that-
Anyway, let me finish my story, dickhead.
I'm playing, the whole team is getting whooped ass.
We're getting nowhere.
I'm looking, there's like one person with a kill.
Nice.
In just me.
We love it when that happens.
You know what I'm talking about.
You're getting smacked all over the place.
No one's alive.
They've got 16 kills.
Everyone's running in alone.
We're all dying at separate times.
We're staggered.
We're running back in one at a time like knobheads.
I know, I know.
I'm just like, whatever.
We're getting spanked.
It doesn't matter a fuck.
Anyway, this geezer starts going, he's like Northern,
I think he was like, get off some bear.
Warfairter, get off some bear.
What kind of fucking stupid names Warfairter anyway?
You're fucking, beep, beep, beep.
He said some naughty words, bro.
He said some naughty things.
And I was listening to him.
I was like, what the fuck?
I was like, fuck.
I was like, get, I mocked him.
You know, I just, I didn't know what to do.
So I went, get off Warfairter.
Warfairter, somebody get off somebody, you shit.
Just mocked him for a little bit.
And then he come back.
They're saying some other waffle.
Then I did the same voice back.
Then he said nothing for ages.
And then right at the end of the game,
before it like the voice cuts out, he just went mad.
Just started screaming down the mic at me.
You're fucking shit.
You're fucking, I've never played this game.
Never to be heard of again.
And then someone endorsed me.
So I don't know if that was him.
Yeah, someone endorsed you.
But yeah, that was my first aggressive,
violent attack on myself.
So now I was looking into a way to turn off the voice chat
and the text chat forever.
Because I never wanna be subject to that again.
Because I was just trying to play.
You should get involved with it.
No, just wound me up.
I had to turn it off after that.
He made me turn the game off.
People like that.
So he won then.
So you made you turn the game off.
So he won.
I finished that game.
So I thought, yeah.
He made you quit.
He made you disappear.
So he never runs into you again.
I weren't vibing with the game anyway.
I said, I was just chilling.
But it weren't me that was holding the team.
In a ranked lobby.
We were getting slapped.
It doesn't matter.
It wasn't me.
We were all getting slapped about.
Disgusting.
I had someone screaming at me the last week.
And they were calling me shit.
I was playing as Farrah.
And they were like, you're not fucking doing anything.
Proper having a dig at me in the chat.
They weren't talking.
They were just typing.
So there's a glitch on some of the maps where as Farrah,
you can, before the game starts, you can kill yourself.
If you start shooting your grenades into a wall,
it will damage you and you can kill yourself.
Obviously that works when the game's going on normally
as well.
So I just proceeded to stay still
and just keep killing myself until the game was over.
Because you just kept having a go at me.
So I was like, all right, you think I'm shit, what's this?
I just kept killing myself until we was done.
That was in a normal game though.
So it didn't matter at all.
But I'm not gonna fight.
It doesn't matter anyway to a computer game.
I don't go near the fucking rank, if I'm honest.
I won't be.
It's too much.
It's too sweaty.
I like it.
I like playing ranked.
I like feeling like they're sat in on the line.
I like playing.
But the wait time's too long, man.
The wait time's too long.
Yeah, because no one wants to fucking jump into it.
Everyone loves ranked.
It's too long, man.
Apparently there's a support shortage.
Because there's not enough people that wanna play support.
Yeah, that's why the lobby time's a short one.
Because they just get fucking rinsed every single time
someone plays support.
It's always support's fault.
And you get battle pass, extra battle pass XP.
For curing it.
And you get shorter queue times.
But yeah, like I say, it is first things first.
If you die, you're like, no one's healing me.
Yeah.
You've run off on your own, you dickhead.
You're nowhere near me.
There's about 10 buildings between you.
I've been guilty of it,
but the difference between me and these fucking knobheads
is I'll just say, oh fuck's sake, why aren't you healing?
To myself, not to anybody,
because I ain't shouting at no one.
I'm like, I ain't unmuted.
I'm just like, fuck's sake, why aren't I being healed?
But I know, it's my own fault.
I ran into five of them thinking I'd take them all on.
Yeah.
And then I'm blaming the healer who can't hear me.
But yeah, the toxic people that literally
are just shouting abuse down the mics.
This is why I like playing thorough, man.
Because you're just in the air.
Unless people are looking up,
you're just fucking blasting away.
Then if you get down low on the health,
you just fly off and find a mercy.
Get yourself some health up.
I do really enjoy Overwatch.
It is my guilty pleasure.
Yeah, yeah, I really like it.
Admittedly, since the pre-patch World of Warcraft came out,
I've been playing that quite a bit.
Go on.
Well, there's nothing really to do.
It's just the talents and shit have changed in the UI.
But.
Well, that's not the message you sent me.
Not much has changed.
You sent me a fucking essay.
Yeah.
Go on.
It's not the message.
It's just the talents are massive.
It's gone from having,
when you level up,
it's like a skill tree.
Well, it is a skill tree.
So the level cap is 60.
So 10, I think, no, sorry, it's 15, 30, and then whatever.
You get talents and you get to pick out of an option
of three different talents per section of leveling.
And what they've done now
is they've completely got rid of that.
So now rather than having like 20 different talents
to choose from, there's like fucking 70.
It's huge.
Your head would have popped off 100%
because it is a bit confusing.
So I've been doing that.
In terms of actual content,
there is no new added content yet.
You got to wait till the 16th of November,
which is when some new shit comes out.
That's an interesting date.
I'm pretty sure that's when Warzone comes out.
Is it?
Pretty sure.
Well, this 16th is when the new class comes available.
So I'll be fucking all over that.
But for now, I'm just taking the time
to make new characters, classes I've never played,
or classes I don't really play that often, but have played,
just because the talents have changed around.
So their actual abilities and stuff have moved around
because I've done very little research
on what actually got changed.
So it's quite exciting just going through,
leveling up characters for no reason
and seeing what the talents are like and all that shit.
Because I know that I'm going to play a Drakthir
as my main when it comes out.
So there is nothing that, you know what I mean?
I'm just doing it for the sake of doing it.
So that's taken me away from Overwatch 2 for a little bit.
Two weeks on Wednesday.
Is that the 16th?
Yeah, Wednesday is the second,
and then the ninth, and then the 16th.
And that's when Warzone comes out as well.
So the Friday after that will be an exciting episode
because we'll have quite a bit to talk about.
Warzone 2 for me and that for you, yes indeed.
And World of Warcraft for me.
Yeah, it will be exciting.
I am excited.
I'm always excited.
But yeah, just fucking cut the price down
on the skins a bit, yeah.
I mean, if a cool one comes on
and it's for fucking Brigitte Royce,
for Pharoah, for Orisa, then I'm gonna-
I've got a fucking wicked skin
for a character I've never played and never probably will.
I've got a couple of real cool skins.
You can get one for Bastion at the moment
on the Twitch drops.
Oh yeah.
They have one.
But even then, who's fucking playing Bastion?
No one, I haven't seen a single Bastion.
I've played with like two Bastions.
I've never seen one.
So I've got like 200 plus games.
So where the fuck?
Why?
Stop throwing skins on for heroes
that no one gives a fuck about.
Stop doing it.
Do it for the one-
Where's the Genji skins?
Every fucker's playing Genji.
Every single person or DVA.
D.Va.
Is it D.Va?
Shit, I hate her.
I hate her.
D.Va.
She comes in, chucks out robot in the middle
and fucks up, blows everyone up.
Where's the fucking skins?
Where's the skins?
It's ridiculous.
It's fucking ridiculous.
You want my money.
Yeah, you want my 20 quid for one fucking skin
that I can't really see anyway
because it's first person, right?
Unless I do a fucking shitty emote,
which by the way, you can't cancel.
So if you do one by accident
and someone starts shooting you,
you can't fucking get out of it.
It's ridiculous, mom.
Give me a skin.
I just want a fucking skin for Farah, please.
I'm sick of it.
Six o'clock.
Six o'clock is when the shop resets.
And if I go on there,
at six o'clock-
It's gonna be another Roadhog.
And there's a fucking Roadhog skin on there
or something for Ash again.
Bob, get him.
I'm sick of it.
I'm fucking sick of these skins.
Fuck off, go away.
I'm so angry about it.
I know everyone else is as well.
That's funny.
Oh God.
I'm amusing me.
It's crazy.
Fucking skin.
I just want some, you know what I mean?
I just want to throw some hard earned cash
towards this game.
You just want to waste some money, please.
Come on now.
Just want to waste some dough.
Fuck me.
It's crazy.
What's next?
Now I've had my little run.
God of War.
I got an email.
EBS ever closer.
I got an email off a game.
I see that they had more in stock.
Had what?
They had more in stock.
What?
Yacht-Nar edition?
Yeah.
Or some sort of edition.
No, I wouldn't have been Yacht-Nar.
They had an edition in stock.
And then as soon as I saw it and clicked on the comment,
it said they'd sold out.
I, if you go, I have-
Hello, Steph.
Oh, she just come back with a dog.
Huh.
I texted her and she said nothing.
I have the Sony website up
because if you go on the God of War,
Ragnarok, Yacht-Nar editions, it just says coming soon.
I have saved the page as a shortcut on my phone
so that I can get straight to it without Googling it.
You're a smart little cookie.
Because I fucking want one.
You're a smart cookie.
I want one of these.
But yeah, Game sent me an email.
You're right there.
You're right there. I just got a sharp pain in my head.
Okay. Well, all right. Pay attention.
They sent me an email saying they're taking payments soon.
Now I got a little bit scared
because they also sent me an email for the controller.
I've already paid for the controller.
I forgot about that sexy controller.
So they might be taking another 70 odd quid off from me
for no fucking reason.
Well, for the control.
I've already paid for it.
Prove it.
That would be on my app, wouldn't it?
It'd be on my bank now.
Either way, the payments are coming.
Now, I'm going to be so angry
if this turns up late a day after.
Mark was trying to soothe me by saying,
oh, game have been really good with me whenever I've pre-ordered.
Sometimes I've got it early.
Blah, blah, blah.
Or the day before.
Blah, blah, blah.
If I get it the day before, fantastic.
It's fantastic.
But I'm trying to get the day off.
Now if I get the day off and it turns up at five o'clock,
I've wasted a day.
And so has Mark because he won't be able to get into work.
It's not good, is it?
I don't, yeah.
I'm worried.
I'm concerned.
I think it's a very, very, very, very, very simple way
to do it.
I should have put it as collection.
Really?
No.
Why?
Just buy it, download it, pre-download, cushy.
When the game turns up, sell the game.
What do you need the game for?
Because it's an odd case, isn't it?
What do you mean?
The game isn't there.
What do you mean?
There's no game?
There's no disc.
It's just a hard case, isn't it?
There's no disc.
I don't know.
We spoke about this.
Did we?
Yes, because it was one of the things people were whinging
about.
There's no disc.
It's digital.
We'll just sell the disc, the digital disc thing then.
The digital case.
No, no, it's mine.
But yeah, but then it turns up the day after then.
Oh.
This is what Mark suggested.
And I think Steph suggested it as well.
I don't like this idea.
I don't like this.
I shouldn't have to.
I shouldn't have to spend another 70 bones.
Which you don't forget that it's coming up to Christmas
and you know what the postage gets like this time of year.
All the strikes.
Yeah, you're doubling trouble, son.
You're doubling trouble.
I'm fucked, didn't I?
Yeah, we're proper fucked.
I'm fucked.
Proper fucked.
And it's going to be, what's the,
it's not Hermes anymore, is it?
It's...
I don't know.
Every, yeah, they rebranded themselves.
They're still wanked.
Because they had such a bad reputation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So if it's them, oh fuck it, I'll throw it in the bin.
Because it'll be fucked.
It won't turn up.
What was we talking about?
There was actually a point to this whole fiasco.
Yeah, he said they emailed you or something.
God of War ebbs ever closer.
And you have a theory.
I have a theory.
When does it come out, by the way?
On the 9th.
Right.
It comes out on the 9th.
That's crazy close.
9th of November.
That's scary.
That's really scary because they're not being funny, mate.
But a week today.
On a Wednesday.
Yeah, a week today is gonna be the fourth.
Yeah.
And that's very close.
That means...
Well, yeah.
9th of November.
That means it was two weeks this Wednesday.
If you're listening, Martin,
which I'm almost certain you aren't.
He's not.
He definitely isn't.
But on the very off chance that he is.
He's not.
I might phone in sick that day.
Don't tell him.
And just not be here.
Well, it'd be a waste of time
because your game won't be turning up.
Yeah.
Right.
You got a theory.
Go on.
Give us the theory.
Actually, sorry.
One more.
If I do what you do and I buy it,
I don't actually have to open the box.
That like the collector's edition.
I could keep that for a year.
Sell it on for some serious dough.
What you want about?
But I want that hammer.
What happened to that yop naffing?
Did you not get that in the end?
No, I got the collectors, didn't I?
We had a whole podcast about it.
Where I sat here and I complained and I cried
and I winced and I bitched and I puffed and I puffed.
Was it the collector's edition
that you still weren't sure that you got though?
No, I got the collectors.
I've got it.
Was it not the yop naff edition you thought you got,
but you wasn't sure so you bought the collector's edition
just to be...
No, no, the other way around.
I've got the collector's edition,
but I want to get the yop naff edition.
So I'm trying to get both of them.
That's why I've got it shortcut on my phone.
So if it comes out, I'm going to try and get one.
What's your theory?
I think, and this has come from nowhere.
It was just, you know, when you're driving
and you ain't got a lot to do.
Why are you going to press that button?
I'm just hovering over the bullshit button
for this theory.
Why?
You know, you're going to bullshit a theory.
It's a theory.
It's got no substance to it.
It's just something that I've thought of.
You can't bullshit a theory.
You're a singular or is there a collective?
No, me.
Just you.
I was driving.
I was thinking about nothingness and this went
in my head and I was like, oh, that's interesting thought.
Right.
Yeah.
Go on.
So I think they're going to do something
a bit freaky with this game.
I think, I think there's going to be like a major thing.
Switch up.
You think there's something that they're hiding?
Yeah, massively.
And I just think there's something so,
everything I've seen is just, yeah, it looks like God of War.
Yeah. It looks too samey.
Yeah.
It's good, but it's, I think I've got a sneaking suspicion
that something might happen to Kratos.
But the, but the reviews, the pre-reviews already in,
well, previews, not reviews.
Yeah. Previews.
Yeah. So yeah, but they can't say anything.
They can't say shit.
Yeah. But there are a lot of media out there.
You reckon someone wouldn't have leaked it?
Yeah, probably have, but you try and stay away from leaks
and spoilers, didn't you?
I'll tell you what I keep having to avoid
is the fight between him and Thor.
I ain't seen nothing.
Someone's leaked the entire fight and it keeps coming up.
I haven't, I've seen maybe 0.5 of a second.
Is this on TikTok?
Yeah. Stop it. Stop watching TikTok.
Delete the fucking thing.
This is, it's pointless.
No, no, I just skip through it.
I just scroll through it.
No, cause one of these days you're gonna go,
you're gonna skip and it's gonna go, four kills Kratos.
And it'll be like, it'll just see it and you'll see it
and you won't be able to unsee it and it's done.
I can't, I can't get rid of the TikTok
because my handle is Screwfix.
So when Screwfix decide they wanna have a TikTok,
they'll have to pay me for the account.
Oh.
Yeah.
You haven't got to get rid of it.
Just uninstall it from your phone.
No, cause it's handy, man.
Screwfix.
It's handy.
I tried to get like, Steele or Husqvarna,
but they were taken.
Fucking Screwfix.
It's only because I was, I can't remember the video,
but on the comment section,
people had started changing their names
to like Jack Daniels and like all these other companies
that hadn't claimed the TikTok yet.
So I thought, ah, at first I tried Asda's
that was already claimed.
Asda's.
It was already.
That would have been my go-to and all.
I love Asda's.
I tried Halfords, but it was gone.
The Screwfix, Screwfix wasn't there.
I could have that.
So I took it.
I changed my profile picture to Screwfix.
I deleted all the fart videos.
So now when people follow me and what I do is if I-
You've got Screwfix's logo.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know if that's why.
But if I come across vid, like DIY videos,
I comment on them.
Why?
Cause they think that Screwfix have noticed them.
If you ever get a comment on your TikTok
and it's from Screwfix.
I haven't got TikTok for fuck's sake.
No, I'm talking to the wider audience.
That's fantastic.
It ain't Screwfix.
It's me.
If you can't follow Screwfix on TikTok.
Oh my God.
Yeah, that's Screwfix.
I mean, it's hilarious.
Yeah.
Fucking hilarious.
If I'm perfectly honest with you.
See, look.
It's just Screwfix at screwfix.com.
Jesus Christ, man.
I'm waiting for my blue tick.
Yeah, I think they're gonna get a fucking letter.
So when someone fucks up-
You're gonna get sued, mate.
Someone fucks up at TikTok and goes,
oh, he's a company.
We'll give him blue tick.
You're pretending to be Screwfix.
Yeah.
You've got Screwfix's logo.
It's great.
It's hilarious.
I'm gonna go for cathedral city next.
Fucks sake.
That's great.
So yeah, I can't get rid of it
in case I get a message, like a DM,
and they go, look, we're trying to buy this.
What was that?
That was not a fart.
It sounded like you opened a can of coke.
I don't know why it sounded like that.
What was that?
That's what I call a love puff.
You just sharted into the mic.
No, that didn't sound like that at all.
It sounded like you opened a can of coke.
It sounded like you opened up a tinny.
Well, I opened up my ass.
That's what happened.
Fucks sake.
So your theory is that there's something,
there's something big in the world.
Something fruit is in the looms, mate.
There's no, I just feel like what I'm seeing is very like,
well, yeah, like you say, it's the same.
It's cut and dry.
It seems very God of War.
There's more to it, man.
Like Metal Gear Solid 2, there was like,
yeah, look, Solid Snake on a boat.
Oh, look, Solid Snake on a boat.
Oh, by the way, you don't play as Solid Snake
for the entire game or what?
I think, yeah, maybe,
well, no, because you seem too much game play of it.
I was about to say, maybe you play more
as Atreus than you do.
Easily, easily could be the thing is what I'm thinking.
Or like you say, there's a massive thing in the story
that has given it like the push to it
for it being like 10 out of 10.
Or maybe you switch, now, how about this?
How about this?
Maybe you play as Thor for quite a bit.
You think it makes sense.
If you throw, Carlos's axe, you throw Thor's hammer.
It's the same thing.
You press that button, it comes back to your hand.
It's the perfect.
That would be a perfect transition.
Imagine they're fighting.
They're fighting, yeah,
and this ain't sport, it's a spec collection.
And we've all seen the clip where they do throw,
he throws the Leviathan and he throws his hammer
and they hit each other.
Imagine you're playing as Thor, yeah,
and it's your POV or whatever.
And he throws it and they both clang.
And like you just said, as they pull away,
it pulls away, but the camera pans around to four
and you're now four.
And then it swaps in and then you're in gameplay.
And you're this big chunky god.
You've got to fucking smack the shit out of Kratos.
It makes you smack the shit out of him.
Decapitate him.
His arms are gone.
All right, all right.
Legs are cut off.
Atreus is crying in the corner.
Bang, smack him down with the hammer.
Kratos head, smash.
That could be a good little twist.
Just a theory.
But yeah, that throwing, that's a perfect transition.
That would be a perfect transition.
Yeah, and you know.
Santa Monica Studios.
If that isn't what's happening, then yeah,
why isn't it happening?
Now I wanna know why it's not happening.
That would be such, if that was a thing,
if that's like something to happen,
that would be such a cool transition
that no one would expect.
You're fighting as Kratos for halfway through the fight.
And then you do that scene and then switch round.
Halfway through the game, bang.
You think, oh, this might be the end of the game fight.
It's like, what the fuck?
Like, oh, mental.
And now that's not gonna happen
and it's gonna be depressing
because we'll both be doing that fight going,
this should have happened a different way.
But no, I don't know why I had this feeling.
I just felt like what I've seen in Mixers,
I am excited for it.
It's one of my favourite games of all time.
They have not brought out the Collector's Edition
and the Jotnar Edition with the hammer in it
without there being something to do
with you using that fucking hammer.
Yeah, well, either if it is Kratos or Thor.
There has to be something.
I just feel there's something more to it, man.
I really just don't see you playing as Kratos
for the whole thing.
I think Sam's channel.
No, I don't think you will.
I think you will play as a Traos for a bit.
And yeah, I reckon there'll be a decent swap over to Thor.
And maybe it'll do the old Last of Us switch around
where you realise that Kratos is actually the evil one.
Well, he's never been a good guy, let's be real.
No, this is true.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm excited for it.
I'm looking forward to that.
That's great.
What a little twist that'll be.
But yeah, if it comes out, then we're fucking geniuses.
Yeah, you've heard it here first.
You've heard it here first on the pod.
You're welcome.
Delicious.
Sorry, I, oh, yeah.
Sorry, I got completely swept up there
while I was answering socials.
Sorry.
What did you think of the House of the Dragon finale?
I am gonna go out on a limb and say I wanted more.
Spoilers.
Oh, yeah.
You're getting good at this, isn't you, the spoiler tag?
It's me that's slipping.
If you haven't seen the House of the Dragon finale,
I didn't actually realise it was the finale.
When it was over, I said to Steph,
I was like, I can't wait for next week.
And she looked at me, she was like, that's it, you thicco.
Got to wait two years for the next lot of fucking hell.
So now I'm in it, Game of Thrones,
when that first come out and the first season was done
and everyone had to wait 10 fucking years
for the next season.
Welcome, it's cosy.
And they were angry, now I'm here.
I'm with that and it's the same with Rings of Power
because that's over as well.
Yes, a long wait.
That was a mediocre finale, by the way.
But we won't get into it.
Yeah, spoilers for House of the Dragon.
Don't listen to this section.
Just give us your money and fuck off
for the rest of this podcast.
Come back next week.
You thought you wanted more?
I wanted more.
I agree.
I was wanting more.
I, their track record with finales
and just average show in general tends to be more.
It was good though.
Action packed.
I wasn't expecting that.
Well, I sort of was,
but not his dragon being chomped enough.
What I was expecting.
Spoilers.
Was, cos Jem was like, he's gonna die, he's gonna die.
I was like, no, he fucking ain't.
I'll tell you what's happening, Jem.
He's going through the clouds.
He's gonna come along.
And he's gonna catch him.
No, and then Damon's gonna turn up
on that big fucking dragon and go,
you think you've got a big dragon dickhead?
Look at the size of this one.
Yeah, but you know, Damon's that massive dragon.
Cos I thought that was a cool little scene
that he went in there singing.
And I feel like a lot of people
may have slept on that one
and got caught in the moment of the old dragon fight.
I think it shows a lot
that they couldn't control their dragons.
I think that's gonna be a little.
That's not his dragon though.
No, it is, he's claimed it.
No, the Damon's one, he's gone to see.
No, I know Damon has.
I'm talking about,
Eggon, is it Eggon?
I don't know, that one.
Those two fuckers, the sons.
They're their dragons.
But obviously their dragons refuse to listen to them.
I know that part.
But yeah, the dragon that Damon has gone to
isn't the biggest dragon.
He's one of the biggest.
Yeah, the biggest is the cannibal.
I think it's the biggest that he can get.
The biggest is the cannibal.
That's what it's called.
Oh, it's the video on the biggest dragon.
Is that the one that's dead?
It's the one that's dead, isn't it?
No.
Cos Steph got a chart up of all the dragons.
And Drogon's like tiny compared to all the others.
Proper, did he?
They're all small.
Yeah, I agree with you.
I think.
The black dread is quite big,
but even that's too small for him.
I reckon Damon's gonna come out of the sky
and that dragon will save him and then.
Well yeah, cos they did that thing
where he's like flying and then the other dude
flying above him on the bigger dragon,
you're like wow, that's huge.
And then I thought Damon was gonna come and go.
Yeah, he's a fucking bigger one.
That's not a dragon, this is a dragon.
Crocodile Dundee stuff.
Yeah, snap its neck off.
Yeah, but no, turns out he just got munched
and then he was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have chased him.
And it was a gory one as well.
I know it was zoomed out a bit,
but it was a bit of a gory scene
cos that dragon pretty much exploded in its mouth.
Maybe I shouldn't have chased him after all.
What's he got in his eye?
What do you mean?
Why's he got a blue gem in his eye or something?
It was all like glistening and stuff.
No, cos his eye was all fucked up.
Yeah, but why is his eye like,
he's got a stone in there or something.
Yeah, he probably put a little cap over it.
I think he's got a dragon's eye in there.
Steph reckons he looks better without the eye patch
and I agree.
He's out of Last Kingdom
and I can't get over the fact that he's from Last Kingdom.
Have you seen him?
He's a little kid in Last Kingdom.
Without any makeup or anything on.
I know what he looks like from Last Kingdom.
So strange.
He's an odd looking fella.
Yeah, it's so strange.
Very chiseled jaw line, very pointy.
Very pursed lips.
He looks like a male witch.
Yeah, like something Roald Dahl would make.
Yeah, probably like a pumpkin patch or something.
Yeah, strange looking motherfucker.
Perfect for Halloween.
Yeah.
Cos he looks odd.
Scary odd.
Not even handsome odd.
He's just weird.
He's a powerful, he's gonna be a powerful character.
I can't wait to see him and Damon.
I don't think he's powerful.
I reckon he's a pussy old.
Nah, but Damon's gonna have him.
They're gonna have some cool fights with him.
Yeah, they're gonna have some fat off little fight.
I don't-
Powerful jaw line, I respect him.
I don't think, if Damon comes out of nowhere
and saves whatever his fucking name is,
if those two dragons begin to fight,
I think it will be an anti-climactic fight.
I don't think he's saving anyone, bro.
He's ripped, that kid's gone, he's dead.
No, I reckon he's saving him.
What?
He's been eaten by the dragon.
The dragon chopped his dragon in half
and he fell through the sky.
Yeah, I reckon Damon is in the sky.
He's gonna swoop in.
Like the eagles, the eagles in Lord of the Rings.
No way, man.
No, I reckon that's, he's gonna swoop in.
I think season two opens with Damon flying along
and that kid going, ah, boom.
Yeah.
No, he'll be dead.
No one ain't catching anyone.
No, I reckon he's catching him.
Be naive yourself.
We'll see, we'll see.
Yeah, we will.
In 17 years, when it comes out-
Forget all about it.
You're dead.
Podcast won't exist by then anyway.
Yeah, when it comes out, I reckon that'll be,
that'll be how it plays out
or they will just stick to their roots
and people will start dying.
He's dead, he's dead, bro.
No, I don't reckon he's dead.
I reckon it's too cut and dry for him
to just be dead.
No, it's all this shit.
This is what starts all the wars, man.
Cause she's like, I don't want to go to war.
I didn't want to get, the men are trying to make me go to war.
I will not go to war.
Oh wait, no, what the fuck am I saying?
What the fuck am I saying?
I don't know what you're saying, to be honest with you.
What was the very end?
Yeah, she's going to war now.
No, what was the very end?
It was Damon going and telling her.
Yeah.
So what am I saying?
He's obviously not gonna swoop in and save him.
Exactly.
Cause he broke the news.
What am I on about?
Shut the fuck up, Lyndon.
Unless he's telling her, he nearly died, but I caught him.
And he's in the kitchen.
I got him.
He's in the kitchen having a cheese and onion sandwich.
Yeah, he's in wheelchair, but he's-
But they tried to kill him, so let's go to war.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It just turns him a little bit upset.
Yeah.
Either that or he's got in there and just said,
look, like you did that time,
I've gone in your sweet jaw and I've eaten your Easter egg.
And she's like, what?
Yeah, what, my Easter egg.
She's actually angry with him.
My Cadbury mini eggs Easter egg.
Yeah, that's took it too far, isn't it?
You motherfucker.
To be fair, I don't think they want to speak in terms of,
anyway, he started choking her out and that, all angry.
He did get proper angry, didn't he?
Yeah.
She was like, oh, you don't know about the dream, you idiot.
And he was like bitch.
And then he turned it into Cain.
He was like choke slamming and shit.
He was like, this is John Cena.
Dun, dun, dun, dun.
Yeah, it was a bit of a rough scene.
That weren't the roughest scene, no, was it?
I couldn't watch that, bro.
No?
No, the baby being born, bro.
You couldn't do it?
Oh man, I couldn't.
Jim always wanted me to turn it off.
It was disgusting.
It was odd.
The way it went on the floor.
It was just like, come on, man, that's dark.
Yeah, if you didn't think that the baby was dead,
it definitely was after that slam to the head.
That was dark, bro.
Straight on the floor.
I don't watch that shit.
It was grim.
But no, season as a whole, what we're saying,
I think it's phenomenal.
I give it an A.
It's not an S.
It's an A plus.
I give it an A, yeah, I'll go with A plus.
It is good.
It is fucking good.
S minus.
I think it's outshone Rings of Power
purely for the fact that it's a lot more engaging
per episode, where you watch every episode
and there's something going on.
Whereas in Rings of Power, there was a massive,
massive buildup and the season finale.
It was decent, but it wasn't incredible.
You know what I mean?
You sort of felt like you was like,
well, I've just fucking spent seven hours
building up to this.
And it wasn't worth the seven hours.
I don't get what House of Dragons and Game of Thrones do
because most TV shows and films and that,
if there's too much of that nonsense,
all the talking and all that, I'm like,
I don't do say.
Yeah, yeah.
For some reason, House of Dragons and Game of Thrones,
you get well involved in the politics.
Yeah, because there's no-
It's interesting.
Because, because there's no filters with it.
Yeah, I suppose.
He's fucking his sister, who's also shagging her cousin,
who's also doing the dog.
You know what I mean?
There's all sorts of this weird shit going on
that doesn't happen.
It's so strange it doesn't happen in today's day and age.
So you see this stuff going on, you're like,
oh, that's fucking, that's juicy, that is.
That's weird.
This is weird, I'm invested in this.
Because you would, because you would.
It's very strange.
And then even just trying to figure out
everyone's fucking name,
because they're all named the same thing.
That's the hardest part.
Yeah, I need a chart.
Yeah, you get caught up in all the politics
and you're like, you're enthralled by it.
Who's doing this, who's doing that?
Oh, that's naughty, he's just gone and told him that
when he was, I thought he was wanking off over feet.
Look at that weirdo.
Oh, shit, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shout out, Matt.
He's only down the road.
Yeah, it's good.
I like it, I'm excited for the next season.
I think it will be good.
The Funko Pops are already starting to come out
in their fucking thousands.
I won't bother buying any yet.
I'll wait a little bit.
No, we'll get myself a Damon one, I think he's cool.
Yeah, I'll wait for him to come into Nerdbase again.
Shout out Nerdbase, sponsor us.
No, no, no, they don't care about us.
No, no, no, they don't, bless them.
They don't give a fuck about us.
They do when they want me to pop down there
and buy a fucking, excuse me, Darth Vader.
Just Darth Vader.
You can't remember the name of it, can you?
Mustafar edition.
Yeah, you got that.
That was the Funko, wasn't it?
And they got all weird about it.
They didn't get weird about it.
No, they just didn't want you in there.
Who didn't?
They're not very inviting, I thought.
Because they're nerds, bro.
They're uncomfortable, they're socially awkward.
We're nerds as well, and we are socially awkward.
Well, no, not as awkward as them.
They're like real nerds.
I'm a nerd that you go, oh, look at that chav.
Look at that grown man.
That football hood.
Yeah, look at that geezer that clearly doesn't play
computer games or do anything nerdy.
Speaking of football hood.
In reality, I'm a massive nerd.
Shall we go over to our little quiz?
Is that what's next?
I think it is, and then it's what we played.
God almighty.
You got the quiz up.
Ooh, ooh.
I won last week's quiz, it's my only win so far.
I need to win this quiz and next week's quiz
just to break even, and then we've got to do
another quiz after that.
So if I lose this quiz, then it's pizza's a go-go.
But if I win this quiz, there's still hope yet.
But I'll just want it.
It's quite the comeback, isn't it?
I just want it noted that I got 10 out of 10 last week.
And I should have, I fucked up.
Yeah.
But that's cool.
And you're gonna fuck this one up as well,
and I'm gonna fuck that one up.
I'm gonna, this is gonna be awful for me.
Yeah, it's gonna be awful for both of us,
which is good because then it'll be a real test
of who's gonna, now I did the quiz first last week.
Yeah, go on, I'm genuinely nervous for this.
Oh, you want me to do this quiz?
Yeah, it's fine.
Right.
Ash is a massive West Ham supporter.
You might know him for some of his songs.
We're about to find out how not massive
of a fan I am. Yeah, rice rice baby.
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
And I'm sure there's a couple of people
that listen to this that are also West Ham fans.
So this should be engaging for the listener.
Right.
Now, it is about West Ham's history.
Now my problem with this is I'm really bad at dates.
I'm really bad at remembering numbers,
and football has a lot of dates and a lot of numbers.
Yeah, the first question is entirely numbers.
Yeah, and you tend to play a lot of football matches
against the same teams over and over again,
and you also have different score lines against them
all over the place.
So it's very difficult to remember these things.
Right.
And nonetheless. Which one?
In which year?
Fuck's sake.
Did the club adopt the name West Ham United?
1898, 1899, 1900, 1901.
I need an answer.
Are you good? What are you doing?
You're just thinking.
Repeat it, repeat the answers.
In 1898, 1899, 1900, 1901.
It's either A or D.
I think it's D.
I think it's 1901.
Do you want me to go with 1901?
Yeah, go with 1901.
Oh my God, it doesn't give me the answers.
No, you weasel.
I can only apologise.
Well, see it's not that easy, is it?
Right. Well, we'll have to go with it though.
Right, just say it's right.
Okay.
That's annoying though.
Cause there's 15 questions here as well.
I'll blitz through the last five.
So how do we know if I've got it right?
Because I'll just blitz through the last five.
I don't understand.
Let's do your quiz.
Let's do my quiz first.
Oh.
Well, you didn't test this enough.
You won't find out if these questions are right.
Until after.
Until after I've asked you the 10 questions.
So you're with.
Which is absolutely fine
because that's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.
So Prince of Persia Sands of Time quiz.
Oh no.
Okay.
Although this is the movie.
Have you seen the movie?
I have seen the movie.
Okay.
That's good enough for me.
It was awful.
I remember you saying that actually.
Question one.
The movie followed a former orphan named Dastin.
He was adopted by the King of Persia due to his character.
In which of these settings?
Fountain, temple, market, king's bedroom.
Market.
Oh yeah, we don't know the answer.
Question two.
15 years after Dastin was adopted,
the Persians decided to attack the city of Alamut.
Alamut was believed to be selling weapons
to Persia's enemies.
Dastin decided to disobey orders to attack at dawn.
By attacking before dawn,
he along with other soldiers captured what gate of the city?
Western, Eastern, Southern, Northern.
Western.
After Alamut was captured,
the King of Persia died.
Exactly how did he die?
Poisoned with wine, heat stroke,
shot with an arrow, burned by a robe.
Repeat them please.
Poisoned with wine, heat stroke,
shot with an arrow, burned by a robe.
Poison.
Okay, question four.
Out in the desert, Tamina and Dastin met an entrepreneur
and a group of men who were indebted to him.
Because he had saved one of the men's lives,
what was one of the entrepreneur's activities?
None of these.
Camel race organizer, ostrich race organizer,
market vendor of fruit.
What?
What the fucking?
Ah, fucking hell.
Camel race geezer.
Question five.
Yeah, this ain't good.
Tamina and Dastin returned to Alamut
for King Sharimans funeral.
Whilst there, Dastin talked to his uncle by adoption
about who's killed Shariman.
How did Dastin determine that Nizam,
his uncle, killed Shariman?
Nizam's name was the source of the poison.
Wait, he clearly got poisoned then.
Yeah, thank you.
Oh, maybe not.
Nizam admitted it.
Nizam's hands were burned.
Nizam's name was on the robe that killed Shariman.
Ah, well I'm gonna have to go with the poison one then,
ain't I?
Because I fucking picked the poison one earlier.
If you don't get that.
If I got that one wrong, then I got that one wrong.
It's great, isn't it?
It's great.
Tamina and Dastin, accompanied by Sesso and Ammar,
traveled to a temple to recover the Dagger of Time,
which had been taken by Nizam.
The dagger was guarded by Hasassin.
Hasassin.
That is literally what it says.
Hasassin.
A group of warriors banished from Persia long ago,
but kept alive by Nizam.
Who killed the Hasassin guarding the dagger?
Dastin, Ammar, Sesso, Tamina.
Ammar.
I ain't got fucking clue.
The movie was shit.
Clearly.
Whilst Ammar decoyed the troops
that were coming to the temple to kill Dastin,
he showed the dagger's power to his brother, Tass, now king.
How did he do that?
Destroyed his brother's crown, killed Tass,
killed himself, killed Tamina.
Killed Tass.
Not fucking no.
Question eight.
I don't know.
Underground in the sand glass chamber,
Nizim attempted to turn back time
to the moment he saved King Sharuman's life
when they were kids.
Dastan stopped him and turned back time.
So what moment?
The first moment Tamina tried to kill him,
the moment he gave the poisoned robe to King Sharuman,
the moment he threw an apple
at one of the soldiers in the market,
the moment he first held the dagger.
The moment he first held the dagger.
I'm starting to get the sneaking suspicion
that he was killed by a poisoned robe.
By the way, they've just mentioned a poisoned robe.
Oh good.
After the, question nine.
After the incident in the sand glass chamber,
Dastan revealed Nizim's plot to his family in Alamut.
Nizim tried to kill Dastan, but was not successful.
Who killed Nizim?
Dastan, Tamina, King Sharuman or Tuss?
Tuss, I don't fucking know.
Do you know any of these characters?
No.
No, I ain't got a clue.
It's funny to me.
Question 10, last one.
Yeah, thank God.
After Nizim was killed,
Tuss proposed a marriage between Dastan and Tamina.
Dastan then went and kneeled to Tamina
and gave her the dagger of time as a gift.
How did she react?
She was angered.
She was surprised.
She asked, what is this?
She left.
She was surprised.
Submitting your answer.
Zero.
All right, question one, you answered the market.
That was correct.
Ooh, ooh.
Question two, you answered Westland Gate.
Yeah.
It was the Eastland.
Right.
Question three, you answered, this is a big one,
poisoned with wine.
He was burned by a rope.
Question four, you said camel race organizer.
He wasn't, was he?
It was the ostrich.
Yeah, right.
That's great.
So I don't know if I got one right so far.
Question five, you said Nizim's name
was on the source of the poison.
No.
His hands were burned.
Yeah, it's great.
Question six, something about killing someone.
You said a ma.
Yeah.
It was Seth.
Fuck me.
Question seven, something about killing someone else.
You said kill Tusk.
That's wrong.
Yeah, he killed himself.
Right, yeah.
Great.
You said the moment he first held the dagger.
That was right.
Was that right?
That was right.
I got two.
Question nine.
This is great.
You answered Tusk.
Yeah.
You was correct.
Ooh.
Question 10.
Four.
Wait, have I got four right so far?
I don't know, I'll add them up in a sec.
Question 10, you said she was surprised
when receiving the dagger.
She wasn't, was she?
She was surprised.
Oi!
One, two, three.
Stop scrolling.
Four.
You got four.
Right.
Okay.
You'll take that, wouldn't you?
I'll take that.
Four for Samick, I had no idea.
We're gonna continue, we're gonna do the quiz
that I originally did.
Because I've gone through it again
and what I can do is just basically skip
the last five questions and it gives me the answers.
Well, I don't.
So I'll just ignore the final five.
So you said 1901.
I did.
So you'll still go with that?
Yep.
Right, okay.
Name the online betting company that sponsored
West Ham jerseys during the 2019-2020 season.
Betway.
You don't wanna even.
Well, I'll hear them.
Sky Betting and Gaming,
Bet Free 65, Bet Fair, Betway.
Betway.
Which of these players did not play in the England squad,
which won the 1966 World Cup?
Jeff Hurst, Martin Peters, Bobby Moore, Billy Bonds.
I don't know any of them.
Oh, I know Bobby Moore.
I think people will be screaming at us.
Oh, Martin Peters or Billy Bonds.
It's one of them two.
Go on.
Give us your answers, lad.
Oh, Billy Bonds.
Billy Bonds, okay.
What legendary player has made the most total appearances
for the Hammers?
Bobby Moore, Frank Lampard, Billy Bonds, Trevor Brooking.
Trevor Brooking.
You reckon it's, yeah?
Trevor Brooking.
Who began the 2014-15 season as manager of West Ham United?
Sam.
Aladice.
Aladice, Alan Pardue.
Is it Pardue?
Pardue.
It says P-A-R-D-W.
Yeah, it's Pardue, but it doesn't matter.
All right, Frank Lampard, David Moyes.
15-16.
Yeah, no, 14-15.
14-15.
What was the first two?
Sam Aladice.
Or Alan Pardue, yeah.
Or Alan Pardue.
Yeah, Sam Aladice.
Okay.
West Ham United are the last team to have won
an FA Cup final with an all-English side.
But in what year?
1923, 1964.
1980.
That's not an answer.
1975, 1991.
1923, 1964, 1975, or 1991.
What was when we last won the FA Cup?
When West Ham United are the last team to have won
an FA Cup final with an all-English side.
So the last time we won it was with an all-English side.
What was the first time?
What year?
19...
So you got 23, 64, 75, or 91.
64.
Okay.
Who did they beat two-nil in that final?
Fuck's sake.
Chelsea, Leeds, Fulham, Tottenham.
Stabbing the dark, I guess, isn't it?
Chelsea, Leeds, Fulham, or Tottenham?
Fulham.
Question eight.
Harry Redknapp managed the club from 1994 to 2001.
What honours did he achieve with the club in 1999?
Champions League, UEFA Intertoto Cup,
FA Cup, Football League.
In 1999.
In a toter.
Which world-class striker was signed from Arsenal in 2000
but only managed to score three goals for the club
before leaving a year later to play in Germany?
Paulo de Canio.
Divorce sucker.
Neil Ruddock.
Ian Wright.
Well, it ain't Ian Wright, is it?
No, Ian Wright played for us before Arsenal, I think.
Neil Ruddock.
Divorce sucker.
Paulo de Canio.
He's so old, man.
Well, you got to answer.
Yeah, I know.
It's such an old bollocky quiz.
I'm gonna say sucker.
Sucker, okay.
Last question.
What year did the Hammers move into the London Stadium?
2016, 17, 18 or 19?
It's quite a recent one.
Yeah, I had a season ticket, first season, 2000.
Was it 16, 17, 18 or 19?
Yeah.
So this is 2022.
This is probably a sick video I say in there.
Rice, rice baby.
So I'd say it's gotta be 2016.
2016, okay.
Now what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna answer
the last five questions.
Just because I have to put answers in.
Unless you want to do them, but they won't count.
Might as well do them.
Do them for the fun of it.
How many years is the lease for the London Stadium?
2015, 99, 199.
99.
Right.
They don't matter, does it?
We don't want to do them.
No, no, carry on.
Who did West Ham sell Dimitri Payet to?
Marseille.
Yeah, Olympic, de Marseille.
Which team is considered the club's
oldest and fiercest rivals?
Millwall.
Right, Millwall.
They're ruthless, aren't they?
Why can I have these fucking questions?
I don't know.
They're a lot fucking easy.
Name the historic figure Vic Watton
set as the club's record goal scorer.
Name the historic figure Vic Watton
set as the club's record goal scorer.
I'm going to assume that this is asking how many goals.
Oh, right.
312, 319, 323, 326.
That's a lot of goals.
326.
Okay.
Which celeb hard man supports the Irons?
Danny Dyer.
He's not on it.
Ant Middleton, Ross Kemp, Vinnie Jones, Ray Winston.
Ray Winston.
Matthew is there, so.
Okay.
Oh yeah, you're just so fucking clever, aren't you?
You're just so clever.
How many did I get?
You filthy prick.
How many did I get?
Right, out of 15, you got 12.
I'll take that.
You got 12 out of 15.
Ain't that great?
Yeah, ain't that great?
Yeah, but.
Yeah, nice, nice, nice.
11, 10, nine, eight, seven.
I'd win even if I got them five right.
Yeah, so let's have a look.
Let's have a look.
So it wasn't 1901, it was 1900,
was when it was called West Ham.
You got the Betway one right.
Billy Bonds was right.
Billy Bonds again was right.
No, it was wrong.
You said Trevor Brooklyn for legendary player
has the most total appearances.
Really?
It is Billy Bonds.
So you got two right there.
And then it was Sam.
And then it was 1975 was the old all English side.
Fulham is the two nil final.
You wave for cup.
In the total.
Divorce sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker motherfucker.
2016, yeah, they're all fucking right.
And they're all right.
You know what I mean?
They're all right.
So yeah, well done to you.
Pizza for you.
That's fantastic.
Lovely job.
Yeah, right.
But we still play the quiz next week for a bounce.
I hope, I bet people might have enjoyed that.
Is there many people that you know
that listen to this sort of football fans?
Yeah.
That's nice.
None of my friends listen to this.
So nice.
Yeah, it's great.
Supportive bunch.
Well, I got like one or two.
Sorry, I got one or two people
that actually listen to this.
Yeah, no, it's good.
Regardless of the quiz.
Nice little quizzes.
The last little section we have.
I thought you had it there, to be fair.
Yeah, so did I.
I thought that four was a decent score.
But you, yeah.
But then you just come out with fucking 12 out of 15,
didn't you, out of nowhere.
But yeah, he has my score.
Ah, I'm gonna struggle with this quiz.
Well, yeah, because I was expecting,
well, it was hard.
They were just thinking like it was gonna be like numbers,
just constant numbers and dates.
I'm not good at that.
What we've been playing, World of Warcraft
and a bit of Overwatch too.
Nothing much has really changed.
I'm waiting, I'm in waiting for God of War.
That's about it for me on this side.
There's nothing new that I've touched upon yet.
But Xbox Game Pass has got some decent shit coming out soon.
High Olden Life is there.
Oh yeah, when's that out?
I think the 15th of...
What, is that coming out on Game Pass?
Yeah.
Well, double decent.
It's not gonna cost us fuck all.
Love that.
I'll just quickly double check.
You tell them what we've been doing.
What?
See if we can get a code to review it early.
December, 2022.
I think it's like 15th of December or something like that.
Quite a while still.
So it will be, that'll be fantastic.
13th of December.
Very humorous looking game.
Yes, and that will be free.
Free for us.
My favorite price tag.
Free for the Game Pass users.
So you've been paying just COD?
I have been paying fuck all.
I've been just, all I've wanted is COD this week
and I've had to wait all week.
And when I'm really looking forward to that
and I don't wanna play anything else.
So I played the campaign, obviously finished that.
And then I jumped into Destiny a few times
just to pick up items that I needed,
but not actually play anything.
I have played a lot of FIFA just to pass the TWAM.
Yeah.
And...
There's been a lot of time passes at the moment.
Yeah, a lot of time passes.
That was a big stretch.
So yeah, just call it duty.
Yeah.
FIFA really just waiting for, waiting for today.
And now I can go home and bang multiplayer on
and just get angry.
Yeah, and I'm gonna bang World of Warcraft on
and I'm gonna fuck around on that for a bit.
Why was I so excited for this game?
It's making me miserable.
Well, that's part of the excitement, isn't it?
I know.
It's part of the excitement.
What a strange life we live.
We're gonna leave it there.
It's been a pleasure as always,
having our little chat.
We hope you enjoyed it.
Oh. Nice.
Saucy one.
Rate that.
That's a fart.
Not your little tin over the pool shit.
Rate that highly.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go and have a poo.
Ash is gonna fuck off home and play his game.
Yeah.
See you later.
Uro.