WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.560 It's what's the buttons? What's the buttons time? 00:00:03.759 --> 00:00:05.500 There was no World of Warcraft announcement of 00:00:05.500 --> 00:00:09.099 that shit Xbox Direct yesterday. It was an awful 00:00:09.099 --> 00:00:12.259 Direct, wasn't it? Yeah, it was terrible. I wandered 00:00:12.259 --> 00:00:14.419 off most of the time. Did you watch all of the 00:00:14.419 --> 00:00:16.699 Fable stuff? Yes. That was probably the most 00:00:16.699 --> 00:00:19.620 exciting aspects. As I said this morning, I was 00:00:19.620 --> 00:00:22.980 whelmed. What the... Because obviously I watched 00:00:22.980 --> 00:00:25.420 the live stream from the beginning to end, and 00:00:25.420 --> 00:00:28.809 I thought that it was going to be a long... xbox 00:00:28.809 --> 00:00:32.789 direct and then it's stupid now because obviously 00:00:32.789 --> 00:00:36.929 they had the pictures of game freak and fucking 00:00:36.929 --> 00:00:42.289 playground and they only had four so in hindsight 00:00:42.289 --> 00:00:43.929 it's like well yeah they were just announcing 00:00:43.929 --> 00:00:46.030 four games there could have been four good games 00:00:46.030 --> 00:00:50.310 though yeah it was i mean the pottery one looks 00:00:50.310 --> 00:00:52.229 shit but at the same time looks intriguing because 00:00:52.229 --> 00:00:56.369 i just want to make a knob So if you're wondering 00:00:56.369 --> 00:01:00.009 what I'm talking about is, let me, because I 00:01:00.009 --> 00:01:03.090 can't even remember the name of it. Xbox Direct 00:01:03.090 --> 00:01:07.650 2026. Let's have a look. So Forza was the first 00:01:07.650 --> 00:01:12.349 thing that was not announced, because it weren't 00:01:12.349 --> 00:01:17.150 announced, was it? May 19th, Forza Horizon 6. 00:01:18.650 --> 00:01:21.689 It looks pretty cool, but I'm not massively into... 00:01:22.090 --> 00:01:24.609 racing games and stuff it's set in japan which 00:01:24.609 --> 00:01:28.409 is cool um you can do car meets and things like 00:01:28.409 --> 00:01:33.069 that again it's cool but fours is not it's not 00:01:33.069 --> 00:01:35.909 my bread and butter so gloss over that I didn't 00:01:35.909 --> 00:01:37.950 like the engine sounds either everyone always 00:01:37.950 --> 00:01:39.810 makes a big song and dance and says how hyper 00:01:39.810 --> 00:01:41.890 realistic they make the cars sound and everything 00:01:41.890 --> 00:01:44.730 and I never ever think they do because they just 00:01:44.730 --> 00:01:46.950 don't sound how I feel like they should sound 00:01:46.950 --> 00:01:49.049 I imagine if you sat there and you had headphones 00:01:49.049 --> 00:01:51.390 on you probably would probably hit fail possibly 00:01:51.390 --> 00:01:55.310 the one that I'm talking about is Kiln which 00:01:55.310 --> 00:01:59.090 is we joined Double Fine in their game turned 00:01:59.090 --> 00:02:04.519 ceramics studio in San Francisco California Basically, 00:02:04.859 --> 00:02:10.780 it is a... You make pottery. Great. And then 00:02:10.780 --> 00:02:13.439 whatever pottery you make, you then send them 00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:15.780 into an arena and then they grow arms and legs 00:02:15.780 --> 00:02:17.300 and beat the shit out of each other. Well, that 00:02:17.300 --> 00:02:22.400 part sounds funny. So you can make... A knob. 00:02:23.319 --> 00:02:26.900 Yeah, pretty much. Well, I'd imagine you can't, 00:02:26.900 --> 00:02:31.659 but that's what I would like to do. Double Fine's 00:02:31.659 --> 00:02:34.659 new foray into fun asks the question, what would 00:02:34.659 --> 00:02:36.379 it look like for a game to combine the beautiful 00:02:36.379 --> 00:02:38.539 expression of creation with all of the chaotic 00:02:38.539 --> 00:02:41.039 fun of destruction? Turns out it's a team -based 00:02:41.039 --> 00:02:43.919 arena battle game which asks you to craft ceramic 00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:47.300 battle armour on a realistic pottery wheel and 00:02:47.300 --> 00:02:49.379 where your abilities are determined by the kind 00:02:49.379 --> 00:02:52.180 of pot you make. We took a turn on the clay -splatted 00:02:52.180 --> 00:02:55.360 wheel to learn all about the 4v4 action of Kiln, 00:02:55.439 --> 00:02:58.280 the wide variety of crafting tools at your disposal. 00:02:59.530 --> 00:03:05.490 and what each size and shape of crafted pot means 00:03:05.490 --> 00:03:08.310 for your combat abilities. So yeah, you make 00:03:08.310 --> 00:03:10.409 a pot, you go and beat the shit out of another 00:03:10.409 --> 00:03:14.629 pot, rinse and repeat. Unique, fun little game. 00:03:14.729 --> 00:03:17.090 I can't imagine the loop on it is fantastic. 00:03:18.069 --> 00:03:24.639 And then you had Beast of Reincarnation. launching 00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:30.819 summer 2026 which is um from game freak uh and 00:03:30.819 --> 00:03:33.120 then which is the frustrating thing isn't it 00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:37.300 game freak yeah make pokemon look like that yeah 00:03:37.300 --> 00:03:39.360 why are you not making pokemon games a little 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:42.219 like that yeah i mean fair enough for them going 00:03:42.219 --> 00:03:43.939 down a different route i mean it's not the first 00:03:43.939 --> 00:03:45.520 time they've done that but obviously their bread 00:03:45.520 --> 00:03:50.639 and butter is pokemon games um so launching this 00:03:50.639 --> 00:03:53.020 summer and available day one with xbox game blah 00:03:53.020 --> 00:03:55.699 blah beast of reincarnation promises an unforgettable 00:03:55.699 --> 00:03:58.680 blend of action strategy and mystery game freak 00:03:58.680 --> 00:04:01.500 gave us more details on emma and her companion 00:04:01.500 --> 00:04:05.870 coo Ku's adventure in a haunting post -apocalyptic 00:04:05.870 --> 00:04:08.550 Japan. We learn that Emma has been afflicted 00:04:08.550 --> 00:04:11.310 by blight, which has removed her memories and 00:04:11.310 --> 00:04:13.530 emotions, but given her the ability to manipulate 00:04:13.530 --> 00:04:18.250 plants and led her to meet Ku, a dog that's become 00:04:18.250 --> 00:04:23.410 a malefact. Malefact? Malefact? Emma's role is 00:04:23.410 --> 00:04:27.610 to hunt down malefacts, but she forms an unusual 00:04:27.610 --> 00:04:30.750 bond with Ku, setting off... setting her off 00:04:30.750 --> 00:04:35.370 on a journey through japan circa 4026 ad game 00:04:35.370 --> 00:04:37.990 freak calls beasts of reincarnation a one person 00:04:37.990 --> 00:04:41.810 one dog action rpg they've created a unique combat 00:04:41.810 --> 00:04:45.269 system to match emma provides classic fast -paced 00:04:45.269 --> 00:04:47.949 action game game attacks in real time but ku 00:04:47.949 --> 00:04:50.509 offers added skills that can be used from a menu 00:04:50.509 --> 00:04:53.170 that slow that slows time more like a turn -based 00:04:53.170 --> 00:04:55.850 RPG. It makes for a game that offers a very different 00:04:55.850 --> 00:04:58.410 feeling to other action titles, adding tactical 00:04:58.410 --> 00:05:00.629 complexity to high -speed combat, which can be 00:05:00.629 --> 00:05:04.009 tweaked to your liking with free difficulty settings. 00:05:04.350 --> 00:05:07.550 I'm not bothered by it. Nope. I'm not interested 00:05:07.550 --> 00:05:09.949 in it at all. It looks cool, but at the same 00:05:09.949 --> 00:05:14.870 time, I was like, I'm not... I don't know. Maybe 00:05:14.870 --> 00:05:16.990 it just didn't feel like it had enough depth 00:05:16.990 --> 00:05:22.839 to it. I'm... on the fence with it and i don't 00:05:22.839 --> 00:05:29.000 really know why because it it looked cool i don't 00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:33.319 get it i don't get it but also it's not coming 00:05:33.319 --> 00:05:37.100 to playstation so it's of no problem to me because 00:05:37.100 --> 00:05:39.600 i won't be playing it anyway but the big one 00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:44.949 was fable Fable. Fable. Would you like me to 00:05:44.949 --> 00:05:47.550 read out the description thing? Oh, sure. Let 00:05:47.550 --> 00:05:50.050 me hear the bollocks. The Fable team at Playground 00:05:50.050 --> 00:05:52.670 Games took us to the fairytale world of Albion 00:05:52.670 --> 00:05:55.110 for the first in -depth look at the studio's 00:05:55.110 --> 00:05:58.009 brand new open -world action RPG and revealed 00:05:58.009 --> 00:05:59.810 that the game will be coming to players in autumn 00:05:59.810 --> 00:06:03.110 2026, developed by a dedicated team at the UK 00:06:03.110 --> 00:06:05.829 -based studio. Fable is set to deliver everything 00:06:05.829 --> 00:06:08.410 players love about the original trilogy. choice 00:06:08.410 --> 00:06:11.829 and consequence dry british wit and playful moral 00:06:11.829 --> 00:06:14.509 chaos all reimagined for a new generation of 00:06:14.509 --> 00:06:19.529 players in an unmistakably playground way during 00:06:19.529 --> 00:06:22.389 the show we learned how your story in albion 00:06:22.389 --> 00:06:24.569 begins how character customization will work 00:06:35.040 --> 00:06:56.139 Yeah. Great. Have you played the Fables before? 00:06:56.279 --> 00:06:58.639 No, I haven't. I've never touched them. So I 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:01.860 don't... I've got nothing to go by. I thought 00:07:01.860 --> 00:07:06.699 it looked pretty cool. Yeah. Well... The character 00:07:06.699 --> 00:07:10.180 creator's dead. Why? Well, because you can't 00:07:10.180 --> 00:07:12.259 create a fucking character. You create preset 00:07:12.259 --> 00:07:14.519 faces. So there's no character creator. So you 00:07:14.519 --> 00:07:17.839 can't do that for stars. Shite. One of the biggest 00:07:17.839 --> 00:07:22.740 things in Fable... used to be the morality system 00:07:22.740 --> 00:07:25.540 so when you used to make so you started off as 00:07:25.540 --> 00:07:28.019 a kid and you grew up all that stuff's in it 00:07:28.019 --> 00:07:29.660 it's very cool but the morality system was the 00:07:29.660 --> 00:07:32.199 big one because if you make good choices your 00:07:32.199 --> 00:07:34.620 character changed appearance whether you was 00:07:34.620 --> 00:07:36.660 good or bad so if you're bad you like got like 00:07:36.660 --> 00:07:40.139 yellow or red eyes and shit and you grow horns 00:07:40.139 --> 00:07:42.420 and all that sort of stuff and if you're good 00:07:42.420 --> 00:07:44.860 you become more angelic and stuff that's not 00:07:44.860 --> 00:07:49.300 in there so that's Shit. That's just... I don't 00:07:49.300 --> 00:07:53.300 know, man. I'm hopeful, but I look at that and 00:07:53.300 --> 00:07:56.439 I think, well, number one, it looked like it 00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:58.779 was running at like four frames a second when 00:07:58.779 --> 00:08:04.779 I was on the horse. And number two, I'm too burnt 00:08:04.779 --> 00:08:08.959 by games to just think... All I saw was little 00:08:08.959 --> 00:08:13.339 clips. I saw like generic fucking NPCs that say... 00:08:13.870 --> 00:08:15.610 you know, you walk past them and they go, you 00:08:15.610 --> 00:08:18.649 look great. And they're like, NPCs react to you. 00:08:18.750 --> 00:08:20.149 And I'm just like, that's not, I don't want to 00:08:20.149 --> 00:08:21.850 walk past everyone and they just shout a random 00:08:21.850 --> 00:08:23.990 blurb at me. That's not, that's not immersive 00:08:23.990 --> 00:08:28.949 to me. And that seemed pretty fucking hollow. 00:08:29.610 --> 00:08:32.330 And then when they were like fighting, it was 00:08:32.330 --> 00:08:35.870 always like one enemy on the screen in a really 00:08:35.870 --> 00:08:38.330 like dark area or something. You couldn't really 00:08:38.330 --> 00:08:40.750 see. And it was just like jabbing. It did look 00:08:40.750 --> 00:08:45.059 slow. Yeah. And, and, I need to see more. It 00:08:45.059 --> 00:08:49.700 has the potential to be fucking incredible, but 00:08:49.700 --> 00:08:54.100 I'm underwhelmed or whelmed because I think it's 00:08:54.100 --> 00:08:56.519 going to be shit. And I hope it's not. Yeah, 00:08:56.559 --> 00:09:01.019 you need to see more in -depth gameplay for... 00:09:01.019 --> 00:09:04.740 The combat was a weird one because the combat 00:09:04.740 --> 00:09:07.159 looked good. It looked solid, but it just looked 00:09:07.159 --> 00:09:10.620 so slow. And then the scene where they're fighting 00:09:10.620 --> 00:09:14.279 the... The chicken... Constantly kicking chickens. 00:09:14.580 --> 00:09:18.159 I don't even know what it was called. The chicken 00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:21.740 that can breathe fire with the weird snake tail 00:09:21.740 --> 00:09:25.720 thingy. When you were fighting that, it just 00:09:25.720 --> 00:09:29.539 looked like it was in a really dead area. But 00:09:29.539 --> 00:09:31.659 an area that obviously wasn't trying to be empty 00:09:31.659 --> 00:09:35.460 and underwhelming. But it just looked like it 00:09:35.460 --> 00:09:41.299 was. Difficult to explain. It almost feels like 00:09:41.299 --> 00:09:45.759 it gave the impression that you're a small being 00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:49.220 in a giant world, so therefore everything's massive 00:09:49.220 --> 00:09:52.720 but somewhat empty. That's what it kind of looked 00:09:52.720 --> 00:09:56.000 like. Like you say, with any of the combat interactions, 00:09:56.320 --> 00:09:59.340 there was one or two enemies, or if there was 00:09:59.340 --> 00:10:02.679 multiple, more than two, three or four, you weren't 00:10:02.679 --> 00:10:06.320 attacking them all at the same time. in the areas 00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:08.500 that you were actually fighting in the trailer. 00:10:08.879 --> 00:10:12.360 There wasn't really anything going on. I thought 00:10:12.360 --> 00:10:14.379 it was a bit of a bad spoiler with the Richard 00:10:14.379 --> 00:10:16.740 Aody thing. That was a massive shitty spoiler. 00:10:16.840 --> 00:10:19.139 I was fuming with that. I did think I was like, 00:10:19.220 --> 00:10:22.600 that's a bit mad because obviously when we saw 00:10:22.600 --> 00:10:26.700 the Fable trailer and Richard Aody is the face 00:10:26.700 --> 00:10:29.460 of it and you think, fuck, that's sick. He's 00:10:29.460 --> 00:10:33.159 such a cool guy. How much of a... how pinnacle 00:10:33.159 --> 00:10:34.419 is it going to be to this game? Because obviously 00:10:34.419 --> 00:10:36.059 you didn't see anything but a trailer. There 00:10:36.059 --> 00:10:38.399 was no gameplay. There was nothing. So you left 00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:40.059 people speculating and then it was fucking like 00:10:40.059 --> 00:10:43.500 however many years on. But then to sit there 00:10:43.500 --> 00:10:49.259 and say, like, did they even give a spoiler warning 00:10:49.259 --> 00:10:50.799 or anything? I don't think they did. I think 00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:53.539 they just said that basically you get to choose 00:10:53.539 --> 00:10:55.220 at the end of his quest line whether he lives 00:10:55.220 --> 00:10:59.490 or dies. And then... proceeded to say that your 00:10:59.490 --> 00:11:02.690 choices can have massive impacts on the world 00:11:02.690 --> 00:11:04.429 that are permanent for the rest of your game 00:11:04.429 --> 00:11:07.509 and then proceed to tell us that we can kill 00:11:07.509 --> 00:11:10.809 Richard AOD and then he just lays there dead 00:11:10.809 --> 00:11:15.909 on a field or a grass knoll forever for the rest 00:11:15.909 --> 00:11:17.970 of the game and it impacts your house prices. 00:11:18.570 --> 00:11:21.750 I'm like, well, I'd rather you didn't... Say 00:11:21.750 --> 00:11:24.009 that. I'd rather you didn't show me that and 00:11:24.009 --> 00:11:26.250 showed me something else. If you're going to 00:11:26.250 --> 00:11:28.730 spoil something, do it with something shitty 00:11:28.730 --> 00:11:33.230 that might not be impactful to the game whatsoever. 00:11:33.809 --> 00:11:37.909 But for me, that's a cool detail and a cool draw 00:11:37.909 --> 00:11:41.789 point for me and many others to that game. So 00:11:41.789 --> 00:11:44.549 to then tell me that at the end of the quest 00:11:44.549 --> 00:11:49.509 line with him, you can either kill him or keep 00:11:49.509 --> 00:11:53.009 him alive. tells me already half the quest line 00:11:53.009 --> 00:11:57.210 tells me that shit goes down so from the minute 00:11:57.210 --> 00:11:59.529 they told you everything they said he is a giant 00:11:59.529 --> 00:12:02.490 he accidentally made himself a giant so you have 00:12:02.490 --> 00:12:05.029 the chance to help him not be a giant or kill 00:12:05.029 --> 00:12:08.570 him so he gave you the quest line it was as simple 00:12:08.570 --> 00:12:10.210 as that and that will be exactly what happens 00:12:10.210 --> 00:12:11.789 the minute you start that quest line it will 00:12:11.789 --> 00:12:13.470 be the first thing in your head you'll go how 00:12:13.470 --> 00:12:17.870 does this lead to me wanting to kill him you 00:12:17.870 --> 00:12:21.570 can look at it two ways you can think well they 00:12:21.570 --> 00:12:23.850 must have some good shit up their sleeve if they're 00:12:23.850 --> 00:12:26.710 willing to spoil that because there must be some 00:12:26.710 --> 00:12:29.850 much better stuff choice and consequence and 00:12:29.850 --> 00:12:33.909 you can look at it and go well it's very cool 00:12:33.909 --> 00:12:36.809 that he lays there on that hill and it's kind 00:12:36.809 --> 00:12:40.529 of I like the scale of it because he's massive 00:12:40.529 --> 00:12:44.370 on that hill you go past him all the time and 00:12:44.370 --> 00:12:48.919 he's just laying on that hill But I just don't 00:12:48.919 --> 00:12:52.700 understand why you would... Like, that's the 00:12:52.700 --> 00:12:55.460 cool thing for reviewers to reveal. That probably 00:12:55.460 --> 00:12:58.120 gets you a point in a lot of reviewers. Oh, he 00:12:58.120 --> 00:13:00.419 lays on that hill for the rest of the game. So 00:13:00.419 --> 00:13:02.600 they must have some more stuff up their sleeve. 00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:05.340 Based on discussions following the Fable 2026 00:13:05.340 --> 00:13:07.299 trailer reveal, the inclusion of what appeared 00:13:07.299 --> 00:13:11.159 to be a plot spoiler, specifically... showing 00:13:11.159 --> 00:13:13.500 a potential villain or a major narrative twist, 00:13:13.639 --> 00:13:16.279 was likely a deliberate marketing choice to signal 00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:18.860 that choices and consequences, a core theme of 00:13:18.860 --> 00:13:21.080 the series, will play a major role in this reboot. 00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:24.559 Highlighting the antagonist, the trailer features 00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:26.960 Richard Aody as a character who initially appears 00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:29.379 to be a narrator, but is later revealed to be 00:13:29.379 --> 00:13:34.860 a threatening antagonist. interpretations suggest 00:13:34.860 --> 00:13:37.580 the spoiler character is meant to represent the 00:13:37.580 --> 00:13:40.200 dark path of the player character, reinforcing 00:13:40.200 --> 00:13:42.419 that the game focuses on the morality system 00:13:42.419 --> 00:13:45.740 where players choose between good and evil. As 00:13:45.740 --> 00:13:48.419 a reboot by a new team, the trailer aims to show 00:13:48.419 --> 00:13:51.460 that the new game has the same bonkers witty 00:13:51.460 --> 00:13:53.559 humour as the original rather than just showing 00:13:53.559 --> 00:13:57.340 a generic fantasy world. But you could have done 00:13:57.340 --> 00:14:01.580 that without dropping something like that. You 00:14:01.580 --> 00:14:05.320 could have easily shown off the consequences, 00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:11.120 the morality system, without killing whoever 00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:17.840 one thought was the narrator. It just seems like 00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:24.919 a really weird... It just seems odd. Obviously, 00:14:26.139 --> 00:14:31.080 I haven't ever played Fable. But even I watched 00:14:31.080 --> 00:14:32.740 that trailer and thought, why the fuck have you 00:14:32.740 --> 00:14:35.379 just included that? Why have you just included 00:14:35.379 --> 00:14:38.740 that? It's just... I don't know, man. I want 00:14:38.740 --> 00:14:42.399 to be impressed. I want that to come out and 00:14:42.399 --> 00:14:44.580 be a fucking 10 out of 10. I'm not wanting it 00:14:44.580 --> 00:14:47.299 to fail by any means because if that comes out 00:14:47.299 --> 00:14:49.460 and is a success, I'll be all over it because 00:14:49.460 --> 00:14:51.039 it's exactly what I like. I love fantasy games. 00:14:51.159 --> 00:14:54.799 That's my jam. I'm leaning back into sci -fi 00:14:54.799 --> 00:14:57.500 a little bit. Maybe just a little bit. I'm not 00:14:57.500 --> 00:15:03.000 there yet. But, you know, that's my jam. So I 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:04.799 want it to come out and be fucking fantastic 00:15:04.799 --> 00:15:09.159 because any sort of fantasy game like that, I'm 00:15:09.159 --> 00:15:12.460 all over. I love create your character, go and 00:15:12.460 --> 00:15:14.559 do fucking choices and blah, blah, blah. But 00:15:14.559 --> 00:15:16.879 then Star Wars went and dropped that yesterday. 00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:23.340 What is it? Maul. Yeah. Oh. So that's kind of 00:15:23.340 --> 00:15:28.100 like, oh, fuck. New series. I think it's a series 00:15:28.100 --> 00:15:30.840 or it could be a film. But the fact that we're 00:15:30.840 --> 00:15:34.860 getting Sam Witwer fucking back as Darth Maul 00:15:34.860 --> 00:15:37.539 is pretty fucking cool. But yeah, I don't want 00:15:37.539 --> 00:15:38.940 to go into that because I don't want to do sci 00:15:38.940 --> 00:15:40.620 -fi yet. I'm still on my fantasy thing. So I 00:15:40.620 --> 00:15:42.259 want Fable to come out and be fantastic. When 00:15:42.259 --> 00:15:43.539 was the release date again? It was like this 00:15:43.539 --> 00:15:46.600 year, wasn't it? Autumn. It's coming out on PlayStation 00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:48.720 as well, which is wild because it's always been 00:15:48.720 --> 00:15:50.580 on Xbox. It's indeed coming out on PlayStation. 00:15:50.580 --> 00:15:53.259 It just shows Xbox's failings further. Well, 00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:55.980 yeah, they must be aware that people play PlayStation 00:15:55.980 --> 00:15:58.059 more than they do Xbox. Yeah, I think they're 00:15:58.059 --> 00:15:59.759 aware. And they must be able to see that most 00:15:59.759 --> 00:16:01.759 of their subscriptions for Game Pass are PC. 00:16:02.379 --> 00:16:05.580 Yeah, so I want that to come out and be like 00:16:05.580 --> 00:16:08.840 the next Witcher, but I can't see it. You heard 00:16:08.840 --> 00:16:11.899 about the Witcher expansion? That's mental. Yeah, 00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:16.200 the... What was it fucking... What was it called? 00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:18.679 I don't think it's got a name. I don't think 00:16:18.679 --> 00:16:21.259 anyone actually has concretely said it exists. 00:16:21.379 --> 00:16:23.620 It's just like... One of them things that is 00:16:23.620 --> 00:16:27.700 just waiting to be announced. Which is fucking 00:16:27.700 --> 00:16:29.899 mental because the game's like 10 years old. 00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:34.679 Yeah, the Witcher 3 is reportedly getting a surprise 00:16:34.679 --> 00:16:39.559 new expansion this year. But you know how cool 00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:43.159 that is? Because these sort of things, I think, 00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:45.460 shift the industry as a whole. Because it takes 00:16:45.460 --> 00:16:47.279 a company to do something like this. So from 00:16:47.279 --> 00:16:50.720 my point of view, my understanding... You've 00:16:50.720 --> 00:16:52.320 got The Witcher 3. It's a 10 -year -old game. 00:16:53.200 --> 00:16:55.519 They've announced The Witcher 4. They've announced 00:16:55.519 --> 00:16:58.240 the protagonist is going to be Ciri. That doesn't 00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:01.019 really make any sense because Ciri is... There 00:17:01.019 --> 00:17:03.799 is no female witches in the lore. There's no 00:17:03.799 --> 00:17:05.359 such thing as a female witch. That just doesn't 00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:08.759 make sense anyway. And then she also is kind 00:17:08.759 --> 00:17:11.559 of like a demigod. So there's no reason for her 00:17:11.559 --> 00:17:13.140 to be out hunting monsters when she can fucking 00:17:13.140 --> 00:17:15.420 basically teleport. But neither here nor there. 00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:18.200 They're going to put The Witcher 3 expansion 00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:22.980 in bridge the gap between witcher 3 ending because 00:17:22.980 --> 00:17:24.680 the ending of witcher 3 is actually in the blood 00:17:24.680 --> 00:17:27.240 and wine dlc essentially spoiler alert if you 00:17:27.240 --> 00:17:29.960 haven't played it or care 321 gerald kind of 00:17:29.960 --> 00:17:34.140 retires in a fucking um in like a winery or whatever 00:17:34.140 --> 00:17:35.880 you call it a vineyard he gets his own vineyard 00:17:35.880 --> 00:17:39.380 and he retires there i think and then all syrian 00:17:39.380 --> 00:17:41.180 that come visit him and it kind of ends gerald's 00:17:41.180 --> 00:17:43.660 story as a whole so it's going to bridge the 00:17:43.660 --> 00:17:47.200 gap between the end of that and Witcher 4. So 00:17:47.200 --> 00:17:49.259 now we're going to understand why Ciri is going 00:17:49.259 --> 00:17:51.339 to be the main protagonist. And that is exactly 00:17:51.339 --> 00:17:55.480 what is exciting because it takes something like 00:17:55.480 --> 00:17:58.180 that for other games to then go, hold on, we 00:17:58.180 --> 00:18:00.859 want to do another one. Let's bridge the gap 00:18:00.859 --> 00:18:02.740 with a... Yeah, we can't just change direction 00:18:02.740 --> 00:18:05.960 and not explain why we've changed direction. 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:09.569 Rather than create an entire... It's got nothing 00:18:09.569 --> 00:18:10.950 to do with it, but just picking it out the top 00:18:10.950 --> 00:18:13.609 of my head. The Assassin's Creed Mirage. Small 00:18:13.609 --> 00:18:17.890 game, cheaper. They created a whole game. When 00:18:17.890 --> 00:18:19.289 they could do that with The Witcher, they could 00:18:19.289 --> 00:18:21.289 create a whole little game. Instead of doing 00:18:21.289 --> 00:18:23.730 that, they've already got the assets. Just make 00:18:23.730 --> 00:18:26.390 another expansion. Because Blood and Wine is 00:18:26.390 --> 00:18:28.430 commonly referred to as the best expansion in 00:18:28.430 --> 00:18:30.509 gaming history. Because it is that fucking good. 00:18:30.549 --> 00:18:34.069 It adds like 30, 40 hours. And it's probably 00:18:34.069 --> 00:18:37.759 the best content out of the whole package. so 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:40.519 yeah their expansions like i never finished it 00:18:40.519 --> 00:18:42.920 i don't know why i got sidetracked but phantom 00:18:42.920 --> 00:18:45.339 liberty like the expansions are proper they're 00:18:45.339 --> 00:18:47.500 not like half -baked couple of missions they're 00:18:47.500 --> 00:18:50.099 like proper proper game -changing expansions 00:18:50.099 --> 00:18:52.759 that change the entire game if you played a new 00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:55.759 game playthrough you'd have different things 00:18:55.759 --> 00:18:57.359 available to you different abilities different 00:18:57.359 --> 00:19:00.740 weapons all get encumbered within the whole package 00:19:00.740 --> 00:19:03.839 rather than just that separate It says, the reports 00:19:03.839 --> 00:19:07.980 follow similar claims. So, Polish noble securities 00:19:07.980 --> 00:19:18.180 analyst, Mateusz Krasanowski, said last month 00:19:18.180 --> 00:19:20.720 that he was expecting the next paid add -on DLC 00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:23.259 for The Witcher 3 to be released in May 2026, 00:19:23.500 --> 00:19:25.880 according to a Polish website. The report follows 00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:29.420 similar claims from a Polish games insider, Boris 00:19:29.420 --> 00:19:34.730 Niespielak. Niespielak? Niespilak, who said last 00:19:34.730 --> 00:19:37.789 year that the new content was secretly in development 00:19:37.789 --> 00:19:40.630 at Force Theory, the same studio currently remaking 00:19:40.630 --> 00:19:45.690 the Witcher 1 CD project. Eurogamer has since 00:19:45.690 --> 00:19:51.130 followed up with Niespilak, who told it that 00:19:51.130 --> 00:19:53.950 his information was verified by several independent 00:19:53.950 --> 00:19:57.529 sources. He also pointed to a comment in CD Projekt's 00:19:57.529 --> 00:20:05.380 recent financial report Peter... Fuck off. Said 00:20:05.380 --> 00:20:09.220 that there's a chance that new content hinted... 00:20:09.220 --> 00:20:11.500 Imagine being the geezer whose last name that 00:20:11.500 --> 00:20:13.160 is and then just hearing a podcast and just going, 00:20:13.220 --> 00:20:18.640 oh, fuck off. I'm not reading that. Neil... Neil 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:23.559 Ubowicz... Fucking... Nailed it. Sorry. Neil. 00:20:24.500 --> 00:20:28.960 There is a chance that the new content... New 00:20:28.960 --> 00:20:32.059 content hinted upon in recent calls and reports 00:20:32.059 --> 00:20:34.900 may see release in the coming year, having an 00:20:34.900 --> 00:20:38.039 impact on our results. A spokesperson for CD 00:20:38.039 --> 00:20:40.319 Projekt Red told the publication that it does 00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:43.940 not comment on rumour or speculation. CD Projekt 00:20:43.940 --> 00:20:46.779 is currently working on multiple The Witcher 00:20:46.779 --> 00:20:49.059 projects, including The Witcher 4, a remake of 00:20:49.059 --> 00:20:51.160 The Witcher 1, and a multiplayer game set within 00:20:51.160 --> 00:20:53.539 the Witcher universe. Last summer, the company 00:20:53.539 --> 00:20:57.779 debuted... Witcher 4 tech demo which it said 00:20:57.779 --> 00:21:00.839 was representative of the Witcher 4 of what the 00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:03.700 Witcher 4 will look like on a base PS5 console 00:21:03.700 --> 00:21:06.559 which didn't show the game itself there's only 00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:10.839 a little bit left when some state started discussing 00:21:10.839 --> 00:21:13.700 the footage online as if it were the first look 00:21:13.700 --> 00:21:16.119 at the game cg project released a statement calling 00:21:16.119 --> 00:21:18.900 it a tech demo and a first look at the cutting 00:21:18.900 --> 00:21:21.079 edge technology powering the witcher 4 but not 00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:23.980 the witcher 4 itself it showcases the powerful 00:21:23.980 --> 00:21:26.339 foundation we're building in close collaboration 00:21:26.339 --> 00:21:29.900 with epic games to push open open world design 00:21:29.900 --> 00:21:33.000 further than ever before and the core systems 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:35.279 and features we're developing using unreal engine 00:21:35.279 --> 00:21:41.109 5 it added I mean, to me, that just sounds like 00:21:41.109 --> 00:21:43.450 CD Projekt Red are going, we're making it, shut 00:21:43.450 --> 00:21:45.950 the fuck up. Shut the fuck up and don't spoil 00:21:45.950 --> 00:21:49.890 it. It's very exciting that they're making Witcher 00:21:49.890 --> 00:21:52.049 1 again, because I never got to play that. I've 00:21:52.049 --> 00:21:53.829 watched playthroughs of it and stuff, but that's 00:21:53.829 --> 00:21:57.250 like old, old. But it leads into nicely probably 00:21:57.250 --> 00:21:59.470 the fact that a subject you don't want to touch 00:21:59.470 --> 00:22:04.730 about, remakes getting cancelled. Yeah. Favourite 00:22:04.730 --> 00:22:09.539 game of all time. Prince of Persia. It's bullshit. 00:22:10.279 --> 00:22:16.359 It's bullshit. Let it all out. Ubisoft was one 00:22:16.359 --> 00:22:19.519 of the best gaming companies in the world, and 00:22:19.519 --> 00:22:22.579 now they are firmly one of the shittest, but 00:22:22.579 --> 00:22:26.160 with some of the best IPs. They made the Battle 00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:30.259 Royale. Sorry, not the Battle Royale, the extraction 00:22:30.259 --> 00:22:35.859 shooter. They are the genesis of it. which is 00:22:35.859 --> 00:22:37.740 something that the gaming industry has just ran 00:22:37.740 --> 00:22:39.819 fucking wild with, especially with Ark Raiders 00:22:39.819 --> 00:22:44.220 like that. And then they made Assassin's Creed. 00:22:44.279 --> 00:22:47.720 Again, one of the best game series that there 00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:51.400 is that inspired countless other games from it. 00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:53.859 And then before that was an even bigger one, 00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:58.019 which was Prince of Persia. Humongous. And they're 00:22:58.019 --> 00:23:00.720 just fucking awful. I don't know what it is. 00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:04.559 So... Six gaming projects, they've just gone, 00:23:04.680 --> 00:23:07.740 nah, we ain't doing them anymore. They've restructured. 00:23:07.799 --> 00:23:10.319 They've sacked a load of people. Their share 00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:13.000 price has dropped by 33 % the minute they announced 00:23:13.000 --> 00:23:16.019 this, which is fucking huge. I thought about 00:23:16.019 --> 00:23:18.240 investing. The only way is up, surely. That's 00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:21.279 a ginormous drop in your shares. Ginormous. But 00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:24.140 what do you expect? What do you expect to happen? 00:23:24.759 --> 00:23:27.680 It's madness. I mean, you've got the rumoured 00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:30.500 next Assassin's Creed, Assassin's Creed Hex, 00:23:30.700 --> 00:23:36.599 which is set in the witch trials in that era. 00:23:37.380 --> 00:23:40.640 But it's like, what's that going to have to do 00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:43.000 with Assassin's Creed? It's not, is the fucking 00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:44.759 answer. They're just looking for other pockets 00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:46.839 to put them in. Yeah, get rid of the Assassin's 00:23:46.839 --> 00:23:49.539 Creed name. Let it go. Turn it into something 00:23:49.539 --> 00:23:52.500 else and try and build something upon that. Why 00:23:52.500 --> 00:23:54.420 you would cancel the Prince of Persia remake? 00:23:54.700 --> 00:23:57.339 Why would you do that? Because if you're going 00:23:57.339 --> 00:24:00.079 to remake anything, that is one of the best games 00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:02.720 for you to remake because it was so dearly loved 00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:06.079 and inspired an entire fucking series that you've 00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:09.039 built your entire company on. Why would you not 00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:13.579 go back to that? If you're going to cancel five 00:24:13.579 --> 00:24:17.579 games, don't cancel that one. Because why would 00:24:17.579 --> 00:24:20.279 you do that? Why would you do that? Let's Google 00:24:20.279 --> 00:24:25.099 it. Ubisoft. I hope they don't cancel Black Flag. 00:24:25.259 --> 00:24:30.200 Shit. I wanted to play that remake. Ubisoft faces 00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:35.920 intense criticism for releasing formulaic buggy 00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:38.039 and repetitive open world games often relying 00:24:38.039 --> 00:24:40.980 on excessive microtransactions and according 00:24:40.980 --> 00:24:43.059 to a recent report all I've typed in for this 00:24:43.059 --> 00:24:47.099 is Ubisoft is shit. Potentially facing a 1 billion 00:24:47.099 --> 00:24:50.259 euro operating loss leading to cancelled projects. 00:24:50.750 --> 00:24:53.069 The company is criticised for prioritising quantity 00:24:53.069 --> 00:24:55.809 over quality, resulting in a decline in player 00:24:55.809 --> 00:25:03.670 trust and severe stock price drops. I'll just 00:25:03.670 --> 00:25:06.069 type in Ubisoft. They're going to go bankrupt. 00:25:06.789 --> 00:25:08.650 That's probably why they've fucking done it. 00:25:08.710 --> 00:25:11.390 Because they're going to go bankrupt. Cancel 00:25:11.390 --> 00:25:15.829 six... Fuck off, BBC. and closed his studio. 00:25:15.950 --> 00:25:18.269 Ubisoft has cancelled six video games, including 00:25:18.269 --> 00:25:20.150 its long -awaited Prince of Persia Sounds of 00:25:20.150 --> 00:25:23.349 Time remake as part of a major reset of his operations. 00:25:23.609 --> 00:25:25.190 The French developer and publisher known for 00:25:25.190 --> 00:25:27.329 popular games such as Assassin's Creed, Far Cry, 00:25:27.470 --> 00:25:31.750 and Just Dance has closed two studios and delayed 00:25:31.750 --> 00:25:36.130 seven titles as part of its change. Ubisoft boss... 00:25:36.130 --> 00:25:41.039 I don't know how to say it. fuck you anyway, 00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:43.700 said the move would create the conditions for 00:25:43.700 --> 00:25:47.200 a return to substantial growth. The firm shares 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:50.039 plunged by 33 % on Thursday morning following 00:25:50.039 --> 00:25:52.240 the announcement. The move comes at a time when 00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:55.019 studios are increasingly turning to video game 00:25:55.019 --> 00:25:58.099 remakes and remasters. with new versions of Super 00:25:58.099 --> 00:26:00.200 Mario Galaxy, Oblivion, and Metal Gear Solid 00:26:00.200 --> 00:26:03.519 3 proving popular in 2025. I mean, I wouldn't 00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:05.200 go as far as to say that the Oblivion remake 00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:07.599 was popular because there was a metric that came 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:10.460 out saying that two -thirds of the people that 00:26:10.460 --> 00:26:13.380 played it actually stopped after about 15 hours 00:26:13.380 --> 00:26:18.019 of gameplay. They got their fucking nostalgia 00:26:18.019 --> 00:26:22.049 kick out of it and then stopped playing it. so 00:26:22.049 --> 00:26:24.369 the decision to bin the remake of sands of time 00:26:24.369 --> 00:26:26.990 which sold millions of copies in 2003 has left 00:26:26.990 --> 00:26:28.970 many fans scratching their heads including me 00:26:28.970 --> 00:26:32.150 ubisoft has not specified which titles it has 00:26:32.150 --> 00:26:34.369 discontinued alongside the prince of persia remake 00:26:34.369 --> 00:26:37.450 but it says among them are four unannounced titles 00:26:37.450 --> 00:26:40.069 including free based on new intellectual property 00:26:40.069 --> 00:26:42.990 and a mobile game mobile game sweet fuck that 00:26:42.990 --> 00:26:45.470 off It's bad when you're already fucking off 00:26:45.470 --> 00:26:49.029 three IPs. It's bad when you're a company that 00:26:49.029 --> 00:26:51.910 has the capacity to make three IPs because that 00:26:51.910 --> 00:26:53.650 just tells me at least two of them are going 00:26:53.650 --> 00:26:56.329 to be shit. If you're putting the effort in, 00:26:56.390 --> 00:27:00.289 if you come up with three separate IPs and then 00:27:00.289 --> 00:27:02.470 cancel them, that just tells me they were going 00:27:02.470 --> 00:27:07.750 to be waft. Again, quantity over quality. We 00:27:07.750 --> 00:27:10.890 don't need you to make three different IPs. You 00:27:10.890 --> 00:27:12.890 can make a new IP by just dropping the Assassin's 00:27:12.890 --> 00:27:15.170 Creed name. There you go. There's a new IP for 00:27:15.170 --> 00:27:20.109 you. The developers were working on new intellectual 00:27:20.109 --> 00:27:22.450 property and mobile titles for Assassin's Creed, 00:27:22.509 --> 00:27:24.930 respectively. The closure of Ubisoft Halifax 00:27:24.930 --> 00:27:27.190 was previously announced in January, the same 00:27:27.190 --> 00:27:30.390 week the studio formed a union. While these decisions 00:27:30.390 --> 00:27:32.589 are difficult, they are necessary for us to build 00:27:32.589 --> 00:27:35.130 a more focused, efficient, and sustainable organization 00:27:35.130 --> 00:27:40.829 over the long term. Taken together... These measures 00:27:40.829 --> 00:27:43.730 mark a decisive turning point for Ubisoft and 00:27:43.730 --> 00:27:45.849 reflect our determination to confront challenges 00:27:45.849 --> 00:27:49.029 head on to reshape the group for the long term. 00:27:49.430 --> 00:27:52.210 Yeah, here's the turning point. It's bankruptcy. 00:27:53.150 --> 00:27:55.230 There's your turning point from a company that 00:27:55.230 --> 00:27:57.910 was making ridiculous amounts of profit and sitting 00:27:57.910 --> 00:28:01.130 at the fucking precipice of game developers to 00:28:01.130 --> 00:28:05.190 nothing. That's the turn that they're after. 00:28:05.450 --> 00:28:10.349 The trouble is they have now. such a terrible 00:28:10.349 --> 00:28:13.410 reputation. Yeah. And that follows them around 00:28:13.410 --> 00:28:16.730 everywhere. CD Projekt Red came from The Witcher 00:28:16.730 --> 00:28:21.329 with a big cult following. Witcher 2, which I 00:28:21.329 --> 00:28:23.269 played because it was on Xbox, didn't really 00:28:23.269 --> 00:28:25.150 understand what was going on because I didn't 00:28:25.150 --> 00:28:26.789 know the IP. I just thought it was a cool looking 00:28:26.789 --> 00:28:28.670 game, played it, didn't finish it, thought it 00:28:28.670 --> 00:28:32.869 was pretty cool. Witcher 3 came out, blew CD 00:28:32.869 --> 00:28:38.160 Projekt Red sky high to like RPG greatness. and 00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:42.799 then made two fucking massive expansions, which 00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:46.440 was great and respected, and then went radio 00:28:46.440 --> 00:28:51.779 silence for years and created Cyberpunk, which 00:28:51.779 --> 00:28:54.940 built the anticipation from The Witcher 3, which 00:28:54.940 --> 00:28:57.880 then plummeted into fucking rock bottom, and 00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:00.640 they have piece by piece built that back. Their 00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:03.660 reputation is now back up. like top tier because 00:29:03.660 --> 00:29:05.599 they don't yeah they care they don't take the 00:29:05.599 --> 00:29:10.319 piss out of their consumers and they build quality 00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:15.579 eventually they build quality over quantity whereas 00:29:15.579 --> 00:29:20.079 Ubisoft is just have all this shit something's 00:29:20.079 --> 00:29:22.240 got to stick you know what I mean but the problem 00:29:22.240 --> 00:29:25.529 is is that all of their shit is the same fucking 00:29:25.529 --> 00:29:28.029 thing. It's the same thing wrapped up differently. 00:29:28.130 --> 00:29:30.609 Yeah, scratch below the surface, Far Cry and 00:29:30.609 --> 00:29:33.450 Assassin's Creed are the same fucking things. 00:29:33.569 --> 00:29:36.589 Take out the parkour aspect of it and it's still 00:29:36.589 --> 00:29:39.769 an open world with liberate this fucking bit, 00:29:39.809 --> 00:29:42.410 go and collect this feather, go and fucking scratch 00:29:42.410 --> 00:29:44.609 this chicken's cock, go and do whatever. It's 00:29:44.609 --> 00:29:47.569 the same shit. What's mad is the writing's on 00:29:47.569 --> 00:29:49.930 the wall. They've restructured their entire company 00:29:49.930 --> 00:29:52.589 last year. They've already had a restructure. 00:29:52.990 --> 00:29:55.029 They laid off a load of people. It was like 180 00:29:55.029 --> 00:29:59.049 people that they sacked as well. And then they're 00:29:59.049 --> 00:30:02.789 restructuring again, not even a year later. Like, 00:30:02.789 --> 00:30:05.390 what the fuck? They closed a load of offices. 00:30:05.990 --> 00:30:07.809 I don't understand it. And then it says here, 00:30:07.849 --> 00:30:11.150 on the one hand, the AAA gaming industry has 00:30:11.150 --> 00:30:13.390 become persistently more selective and competitive 00:30:13.390 --> 00:30:15.710 with rising development costs and greater challenges 00:30:15.710 --> 00:30:18.950 in creating the brands. Stop fucking putting 00:30:18.950 --> 00:30:20.910 microtransactions in your game and stop making 00:30:20.910 --> 00:30:23.380 10 games a year then. This is why it's so frustrating 00:30:23.380 --> 00:30:27.380 because Star Wars Outlaws originally was pitched 00:30:27.380 --> 00:30:31.000 as do what you want, be what you want, be a bounty 00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:33.000 hunter, be a Jedi, be whatever you want, character 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:35.400 creator. And then they released this fucking 00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:38.539 cave vest who everyone hates. I think she's all 00:30:38.539 --> 00:30:40.980 right, but they just fit shit protagonist. She's 00:30:40.980 --> 00:30:45.920 not great, but she's all right. In arguably the 00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:48.640 same world as fucking Assassin's Creed because 00:30:48.640 --> 00:30:51.690 it's the same shit. However. The game itself, 00:30:51.970 --> 00:30:54.349 if I didn't play any of them Assassin's Creed, 00:30:54.410 --> 00:30:55.730 just as a standalone, you'd be like, this is 00:30:55.730 --> 00:30:58.029 sick. But it's because you've played so many 00:30:58.029 --> 00:31:00.329 games that are exactly the same. It's just like, 00:31:00.410 --> 00:31:03.170 again, like the same thing. I already know how 00:31:03.170 --> 00:31:05.150 this is going to work. Do this, get 10 of these 00:31:05.150 --> 00:31:08.089 upgrades, blah, blah, blah. But the actual, like, 00:31:08.130 --> 00:31:12.910 attention to detail of Star Wars, like the sounds 00:31:12.910 --> 00:31:16.319 and the fucking lore and... just feeling like 00:31:16.319 --> 00:31:18.680 you're in a Star Wars universe. I don't think 00:31:18.680 --> 00:31:21.180 there's ever been a game that made me feel like 00:31:21.180 --> 00:31:23.759 that more. So that part of it, they've fucking 00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:26.579 nailed. It's got a unique aspect because of Star 00:31:26.579 --> 00:31:28.400 Wars. Yeah, and it's fucking great. Even like 00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:33.740 Star Wars Jedi Survivor and Star Wars, whatever 00:31:33.740 --> 00:31:36.599 the first one was, I can't remember. They don't... 00:31:36.599 --> 00:31:39.700 The Last Hope? The Lost Survivor? The Last Survivor? 00:31:39.759 --> 00:31:41.180 The Last Jedi or something. I can't remember. 00:31:41.339 --> 00:31:44.700 Something like that. Even them didn't make me 00:31:44.700 --> 00:31:46.480 feel like they do. And you're a fucking Jedi 00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:48.759 in that. But Outlaws has just got this fucking 00:31:48.759 --> 00:31:51.920 great feeling to it. But it is just an Assassin's 00:31:51.920 --> 00:31:54.000 Creed game. Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately. And it's 00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:55.980 great, but there comes a time when you're just 00:31:55.980 --> 00:31:58.819 like, I'm bored. Because it's do this. Finish 00:31:58.819 --> 00:32:00.819 this section and then go and do three more of 00:32:00.819 --> 00:32:03.500 these fucking hideouts. It's the same repeated 00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:06.559 shit. I was on the PlayStation store yesterday 00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:10.240 and I was like, maybe I'll tweet myself to another 00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:13.859 game. I don't know if you heard last week I said 00:32:13.859 --> 00:32:16.680 that I'd re -downloaded Metro Exodus. I did listen. 00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:18.900 I didn't hear that part though. I'm not playing. 00:32:18.980 --> 00:32:23.140 I can't be bothered. I can't get into it. I cannot. 00:32:23.500 --> 00:32:25.440 It's a hard game. I've done a couple of hours 00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:29.660 and the guns feel shit. The combat feels shit. 00:32:29.960 --> 00:32:33.700 I don't like it. I can't get into it. Fair enough 00:32:33.700 --> 00:32:35.279 if people say it's one of the best games ever. 00:32:35.539 --> 00:32:38.380 You can keep that memory in your fucking noggin. 00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:40.099 I don't want a part of it. If you're in the mood 00:32:40.099 --> 00:32:43.140 for that kind of game... Which I'm not. I said 00:32:43.140 --> 00:32:46.000 this to Steph. I was like, I feel lonely and 00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:49.119 it's dark and scary and there's monsters. I don't 00:32:49.119 --> 00:32:53.079 want to do it. I don't feel safe. So I'm not 00:32:53.079 --> 00:32:54.400 doing it. Yeah, you've definitely picked the 00:32:54.400 --> 00:32:56.079 wrong game. Yeah, I don't want to touch it. That 00:32:56.079 --> 00:32:58.500 one's fucking quite nice in comparison because 00:32:58.500 --> 00:33:00.559 the other Metro games are actually in the Metro 00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:02.299 tunnels. That's even more fucking terrifying. 00:33:02.400 --> 00:33:04.099 I just don't want to do it. So I'm not going 00:33:04.099 --> 00:33:06.380 to do it. Maybe I will at some point. I won't. 00:33:07.640 --> 00:33:09.119 So I was like, I'll flick through the PlayStation 00:33:09.119 --> 00:33:10.839 store and see if there's anything that's taken 00:33:10.839 --> 00:33:12.960 my interest. And then Steph was like, well, what 00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:14.980 happened to all those games that came out in 00:33:14.980 --> 00:33:17.259 one fucking solid month? And I was like, well, 00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:19.940 exactly that. I didn't have the... I had the 00:33:19.940 --> 00:33:21.400 funds. I didn't want to spend them because it 00:33:21.400 --> 00:33:25.089 was... It was fucking Little Nightmares 3, Ghost 00:33:25.089 --> 00:33:28.970 of Yotai, Outer Worlds 2. And then there was 00:33:28.970 --> 00:33:30.809 another game thrown in there as well. I can't 00:33:30.809 --> 00:33:34.369 remember what it was. Dying Light. Dying Light 00:33:34.369 --> 00:33:36.549 the Beast. And I was like, there's too many. 00:33:36.710 --> 00:33:38.849 There's too many. So I thought, well, Ghost of 00:33:38.849 --> 00:33:42.230 Yotai. Because Ghost of Tsushima is fucking amazing. 00:33:42.490 --> 00:33:45.509 And I very nearly bought it. And then I went, 00:33:45.589 --> 00:33:49.509 I can't be bothered. I can't be bothered. I can't 00:33:49.509 --> 00:33:52.079 be asked to do another open world game. I cannot 00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:54.960 be bothered to do it. I'm burnt out from doing 00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:58.839 open world games. I want rich story, but I want 00:33:58.839 --> 00:34:02.460 rich graphics. I want it to feel good. I want 00:34:02.460 --> 00:34:05.720 all of it. I want God of War Ragnarok. I want 00:34:05.720 --> 00:34:09.300 that. I want The Last of Us. So I was like, I'm 00:34:09.300 --> 00:34:10.880 going to at least do some more market research 00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:13.219 before I decide to buy it. And I went on to Reddit, 00:34:13.380 --> 00:34:15.260 and a lot of people were saying the same thing. 00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:16.980 A lot of people were saying, it's a fantastic 00:34:16.980 --> 00:34:21.880 game, but it's Ghost of Tsushima. in a different 00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:25.780 fucking land. It's the same shit, even down to 00:34:25.780 --> 00:34:27.619 the same foxholes and things like that. And they're 00:34:27.619 --> 00:34:31.639 like, it's a fantastic game, but there's only 00:34:31.639 --> 00:34:33.960 so much that you can do with it. It looks beautiful, 00:34:34.119 --> 00:34:36.840 but it's... The same game. It's the same game. 00:34:36.920 --> 00:34:38.960 And a lot of people are saying the same thing 00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:40.619 that I'm saying. They're just burnt out from 00:34:40.619 --> 00:34:44.519 open world games. I'm burnt out from them. I 00:34:44.519 --> 00:34:47.039 want a little bit of hand -holding. You know 00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:51.300 what I mean? I want... I just want to be safe. 00:34:51.539 --> 00:34:55.760 I just want to be hugged by the games. Luckily 00:34:55.760 --> 00:34:58.880 for me, I've been well and truly stuck into my 00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:02.300 Divinity Original Sin 2. I've got about 65, 70 00:35:02.300 --> 00:35:05.619 hours on that now. Made it to Act 3. And I've 00:35:05.619 --> 00:35:09.840 also just been fucking bumming the life out of 00:35:09.840 --> 00:35:12.739 Steam Deck. I've played it every day for like 00:35:12.739 --> 00:35:15.400 months. Why don't you bring that into the office? 00:35:15.699 --> 00:35:17.679 Because I don't like taking it outside. I get 00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:20.550 scared. It's got a case. Yeah, I know. It doesn't 00:35:20.550 --> 00:35:21.750 matter. A protective case. It doesn't matter. 00:35:22.909 --> 00:35:28.969 I've been playing... I've been playing Terraria. 00:35:29.210 --> 00:35:31.610 Ah. Would you believe? I see, Terraria. I've 00:35:31.610 --> 00:35:36.369 put 18 hours in since... Oh, I don't know. Fucking 00:35:36.369 --> 00:35:38.369 four or five days ago. Yeah. I've been banging 00:35:38.369 --> 00:35:42.309 that out. That's decent. I dug straight down 00:35:42.309 --> 00:35:47.449 to hell. It took me about five hours. Mm -hmm. 00:35:47.739 --> 00:35:51.599 I just dug straight down. And then I built a 00:35:51.599 --> 00:35:56.219 wall going like parallel. And then I had to put 00:35:56.219 --> 00:35:58.179 a rope down as well. So I was building walls 00:35:58.179 --> 00:36:01.760 as I went, putting rope down and then digging 00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:03.780 into water and then having to dig little holes 00:36:03.780 --> 00:36:06.159 for the water to go in, carry on digging. And 00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:08.000 then I started getting lava and I was like, fuck. 00:36:08.099 --> 00:36:10.539 So then I'd have to climb back up my rope, knock 00:36:10.539 --> 00:36:13.019 the water out, let the water fall down my hole. 00:36:13.340 --> 00:36:16.420 turn the lava into obsidian, then mine the obsidian. 00:36:16.599 --> 00:36:18.500 But then when I let the water out and it fell 00:36:18.500 --> 00:36:20.480 down the hole, it'd put all my torches out. So 00:36:20.480 --> 00:36:21.940 it'd be pitch black. So I'd have to go and put 00:36:21.940 --> 00:36:24.980 all my torches back. And I did that for a long 00:36:24.980 --> 00:36:28.039 time until I reached hell and died. But now I've 00:36:28.039 --> 00:36:30.360 got something that I've aptly named the Hellovator. 00:36:30.840 --> 00:36:34.539 The Hellovator? Yeah. What is in hell? Just scary 00:36:34.539 --> 00:36:37.219 shit. Loads of cool loot, but lots of dangerous 00:36:37.219 --> 00:36:41.159 stuff. But yeah, I've always wondered why people 00:36:41.159 --> 00:36:44.300 enjoy that game so much. But it's just 2D Minecraft, 00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:47.219 but more combat -based. There's a lot of bosses. 00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:49.500 There's a lot of fucking random loot you can 00:36:49.500 --> 00:36:51.219 get. Oh, you're not the first person to call 00:36:51.219 --> 00:36:53.800 it a Hellevator. Oh, am I not? No, because it 00:36:53.800 --> 00:36:55.599 comes up on the... Well, that's disappointing. 00:36:55.880 --> 00:36:58.340 Is there a quick way to make a Hellevator? Oh, 00:36:58.360 --> 00:37:00.920 it's actually a term that people just call it. 00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:05.320 Yeah. Oh, that's disappointing. It says, I'm 00:37:05.320 --> 00:37:09.059 trying to cut off the crimson. Do you know what 00:37:09.059 --> 00:37:11.440 the crimson is? It's like an infection that runs 00:37:11.440 --> 00:37:15.710 across the map. Someone said... What does that 00:37:15.710 --> 00:37:17.730 say? You might try purchasing a bunch of bombs, 00:37:17.869 --> 00:37:20.170 throwing them directly down while suspended from 00:37:20.170 --> 00:37:23.309 a rope or series of platforms. That's a good 00:37:23.309 --> 00:37:26.090 idea. I'll do that. But I wanted to make my hole 00:37:26.090 --> 00:37:30.489 very... I'll get ADHD. If there's a brick out 00:37:30.489 --> 00:37:32.110 of place and it's the wrong colour, I have to... 00:37:32.110 --> 00:37:34.409 I can see hell. It doesn't look very fun. There's 00:37:34.409 --> 00:37:37.250 lots of lava and other things happening there. 00:37:37.250 --> 00:37:38.849 I haven't even watched any videos on it. I'm 00:37:38.849 --> 00:37:41.469 very disappointed that Elevator is like a... 00:37:41.940 --> 00:37:45.760 I thought I'd coined that. I'm sorry to spoil 00:37:45.760 --> 00:37:49.059 it for you. There's literally a whole thing. 00:37:49.199 --> 00:37:53.199 They look pretty cool. But yeah, it is... By 00:37:53.199 --> 00:37:55.619 the looks of it is exactly what you said. I'm 00:37:55.619 --> 00:37:59.699 seeing what looks like a well and it's just a 00:37:59.699 --> 00:38:01.579 hole that goes straight down that's been walled 00:38:01.579 --> 00:38:03.880 off either side with a rope going down. I only 00:38:03.880 --> 00:38:05.579 put the wall there so the baddies couldn't get 00:38:05.579 --> 00:38:07.539 in while I was mining because I'd mine and then 00:38:07.539 --> 00:38:10.380 fucking... bugs would fall on my head and I'd 00:38:10.380 --> 00:38:12.780 just die in the hole. Yeah, that's exactly what... 00:38:12.780 --> 00:38:15.719 I won't swap the laptop around. I'll just take 00:38:15.719 --> 00:38:18.699 a photo and show you. Does this look similar 00:38:18.699 --> 00:38:23.699 to your elevator? No, mine... No, that's much 00:38:23.699 --> 00:38:28.159 better. That's much better. Mine don't look like 00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:31.239 that. He's actually made like a well at the top. 00:38:31.320 --> 00:38:33.960 Yeah. And mine's just like the most basic brick 00:38:33.960 --> 00:38:37.630 wall. he's got like a funky red going on and 00:38:37.630 --> 00:38:40.269 mine's literally underneath my house which is 00:38:40.269 --> 00:38:42.750 a terrible place to build it but there you go 00:38:42.750 --> 00:38:45.369 I'm not the smartest not the smartest at the 00:38:45.369 --> 00:38:49.710 school am I and like I say you and me are very 00:38:49.710 --> 00:38:51.869 similar in terms of them sort of games because 00:38:51.869 --> 00:38:54.250 I just get paralysed by my own idiocy and think 00:38:54.250 --> 00:38:56.289 I don't know like I've done that now I've gone 00:38:56.289 --> 00:38:59.719 to hell I feel like I've completed it But I haven't 00:38:59.719 --> 00:39:01.519 because there's fucking hundreds of hours to 00:39:01.519 --> 00:39:03.639 play in that game. Yeah, yeah. But I haven't. 00:39:03.639 --> 00:39:05.480 I'm just like, well, I've dug as far as I can 00:39:05.480 --> 00:39:08.599 go down. So surely that's the end. But no, there's 00:39:08.599 --> 00:39:10.579 fucking loads of bosses and stuff. And funnily 00:39:10.579 --> 00:39:13.780 enough, they've actually got a massive update 00:39:13.780 --> 00:39:15.300 coming in two weeks and they haven't had an update 00:39:15.300 --> 00:39:17.960 for years. I mean, still getting huge updates. 00:39:18.139 --> 00:39:22.300 I had that whole fucking, that whole area in 00:39:22.300 --> 00:39:24.179 Elden Ring that I didn't explore, that castle, 00:39:24.300 --> 00:39:29.570 the lava area. I killed the boss there, the snake 00:39:29.570 --> 00:39:31.409 thing where you get the weapon that shoots the 00:39:31.409 --> 00:39:35.550 fucking farts at it. But that whole castle area, 00:39:35.750 --> 00:39:39.690 I didn't explore any of the outside because I 00:39:39.690 --> 00:39:42.309 made it there by... Getting kidnapped. Getting 00:39:42.309 --> 00:39:44.150 kidnapped, yeah, pretty much. That's horrible 00:39:44.150 --> 00:39:45.610 when you do that. It's so hard to get out of 00:39:45.610 --> 00:39:47.869 there. Yeah, it was the right fucker to get out 00:39:47.869 --> 00:39:49.170 of there because you've got to keep going back 00:39:49.170 --> 00:39:51.170 to that table and killing the people and fucking 00:39:51.170 --> 00:39:54.579 dueling everyone. It was a great cunt. yeah and 00:39:54.579 --> 00:39:56.960 that's also the place with the the wall with 00:39:56.960 --> 00:40:00.340 a thousand hits that was it is in there yeah 00:40:00.340 --> 00:40:03.500 somewhere I think it's I think it's in that in 00:40:03.500 --> 00:40:05.900 that place it's a cool place it's in a volcano 00:40:05.900 --> 00:40:09.119 yeah yeah and I just never made it to that place 00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:13.780 like organically I got kidnapped and fucking 00:40:13.780 --> 00:40:17.300 dragged there so I never I finished that boss 00:40:17.300 --> 00:40:19.019 got out of there and fucking went somewhere else 00:40:19.019 --> 00:40:21.960 I was like I ain't exploring this there's something 00:40:21.960 --> 00:40:26.500 about In any game, the minute that I see a hellscape, 00:40:26.579 --> 00:40:31.239 I go, no. Like Khaled. I go, I don't want to. 00:40:31.300 --> 00:40:34.039 If you're the type of person that can... happily 00:40:34.039 --> 00:40:37.079 traverse somewhere like caled and enjoys being 00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:39.780 in that area then you're fucking you're nuts 00:40:39.780 --> 00:40:42.840 i do like that style but i don't like going it's 00:40:42.840 --> 00:40:44.400 like i look at that and go yeah i'm not high 00:40:44.400 --> 00:40:46.539 enough level for that yeah that must be end game 00:40:46.539 --> 00:40:48.820 and then even when you are high enough high enough 00:40:48.820 --> 00:40:52.139 level you still go i don't like this at all running 00:40:52.139 --> 00:40:53.539 their hits out and see how much their health 00:40:53.539 --> 00:40:56.360 goes down yeah you go oh fuck this this ain't 00:40:56.360 --> 00:41:00.059 for me it's just places like that there but they're 00:41:00.059 --> 00:41:03.340 fun they are fun I'm going to assume that there's 00:41:03.340 --> 00:41:07.340 bosses in Terraria Hell. Oh yeah, it's the wall 00:41:07.340 --> 00:41:12.179 of flesh. Terraria Hell boss. Oh yeah, it is 00:41:12.179 --> 00:41:15.400 the wall of flesh. I've seen it. Fucking thing. 00:41:15.900 --> 00:41:18.039 With eyeballs and shit like that. Two eyeballs 00:41:18.039 --> 00:41:20.659 and a weird mouth. I kind of broke the game because 00:41:20.659 --> 00:41:25.599 I was playing it and early on I got a drop. It's 00:41:25.599 --> 00:41:30.500 called a godly boomerang. And it is exactly that. 00:41:30.539 --> 00:41:33.110 It's godly. And it just does so much damage. 00:41:33.150 --> 00:41:36.989 I think I just got a mad lucky drop and now I 00:41:36.989 --> 00:41:39.570 don't need any other weapons. So it kind of took 00:41:39.570 --> 00:41:41.929 some of the fun out because I'd like my new ore 00:41:41.929 --> 00:41:43.590 and then it'd still be shitter than the weapon 00:41:43.590 --> 00:41:47.230 I got. Godly boomerang. It just says boomerangs. 00:41:47.829 --> 00:41:54.530 Does anyone use boomerangs? Well, I do. The terror 00:41:54.530 --> 00:41:57.269 prism is one of the best weapons in Terraria. 00:41:58.150 --> 00:42:00.429 Never heard of it. No, I won't tell you what 00:42:00.429 --> 00:42:02.170 it does either. You've never heard of it. I know 00:42:02.170 --> 00:42:04.110 nothing about it. To be honest, I know nothing 00:42:04.110 --> 00:42:06.550 about the game. All I know is... There's a shroomerang. 00:42:07.349 --> 00:42:09.730 I imagine, yeah, I've collected enough mushrooms. 00:42:09.849 --> 00:42:11.690 It's a pre -hard mode boomerang that is dropped 00:42:11.690 --> 00:42:14.809 by spore bats with a 2 .5 % drop chance. Yeah, 00:42:14.849 --> 00:42:17.170 pre -hard as well. You have to do something to 00:42:17.170 --> 00:42:21.989 even unlock hard mode. I read on Reddit. Mad 00:42:21.989 --> 00:42:25.300 game. Yeah, I just like playing. A Bind of Isaac, 00:42:25.420 --> 00:42:28.719 I've now got like 130 hours in. I don't know 00:42:28.719 --> 00:42:30.619 why. I've already platinumed it on fucking PlayStation. 00:42:31.000 --> 00:42:32.239 Yeah, that's mad. I'm trying to do it again. 00:42:32.320 --> 00:42:34.159 It's got about 600 achievements. That's mad. 00:42:34.239 --> 00:42:36.139 I wouldn't ever touch a game if I platinumed 00:42:36.139 --> 00:42:37.980 it again. I don't ever touch games again when 00:42:37.980 --> 00:42:40.260 I finish them. I know, I know, but it's a roguelike. 00:42:40.300 --> 00:42:41.820 It's not the same. It's like one of them games 00:42:41.820 --> 00:42:43.739 you just plop on and just have a couple of runs. 00:42:44.179 --> 00:42:46.559 Yeah. And you unlock something all the time. 00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:49.639 I downloaded a game. We'll talk about it very, 00:42:49.679 --> 00:42:53.869 very quickly. And it's the weebiest game that 00:42:53.869 --> 00:42:56.969 I've ever played. No, not one of them. It's for 00:42:56.969 --> 00:43:02.250 incels, 100%. 100%. It's an anime game. And it 00:43:02.250 --> 00:43:05.309 is definitely designed for basement dwellers 00:43:05.309 --> 00:43:11.889 that say that they're alpha males. 100%. So it's 00:43:11.889 --> 00:43:18.750 a game called... Nikkei? Goddess of Victory. 00:43:19.309 --> 00:43:21.949 Well, it does sound pretty fancy. That's the 00:43:21.949 --> 00:43:26.309 anime girls. And it's basically, apparently, 00:43:26.469 --> 00:43:29.349 from what I read on Reddit, the story is really, 00:43:29.469 --> 00:43:32.769 really good. And I assume that it is really, 00:43:32.889 --> 00:43:35.090 really good because that's what the combat looks 00:43:35.090 --> 00:43:41.050 like. Oh, right, yeah. Fair enough. That's what 00:43:41.050 --> 00:43:44.130 the combat looks like. This is the current crew. 00:43:45.610 --> 00:43:48.679 That's what they look like. Oh, yeah. Boobies 00:43:48.679 --> 00:43:51.019 and nice sexy outfits. Appropriately dressed 00:43:51.019 --> 00:43:55.079 for combat. Yes. So when all the Reddit thread 00:43:55.079 --> 00:43:59.539 that I perused was saying, my wife says that 00:43:59.539 --> 00:44:01.800 it's just an excuse for me to look at boobies 00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:04.980 when I say that it's a good story. That's because 00:44:04.980 --> 00:44:07.460 it is, mate. That's because it is. This game 00:44:07.460 --> 00:44:11.059 is entirely designed for people to have a wank. 00:44:11.340 --> 00:44:14.039 Because it's the way that they talk. So, like, 00:44:14.039 --> 00:44:17.289 you're the commander. okay and they call you 00:44:17.289 --> 00:44:21.190 like you're my commander and then like at the 00:44:21.190 --> 00:44:23.750 beginning there's this basically those those 00:44:23.750 --> 00:44:28.610 women are robots because of course they are and 00:44:28.610 --> 00:44:31.909 one of them that you like own or something gets 00:44:31.909 --> 00:44:34.690 injured or some shit and you're putting bandages 00:44:34.690 --> 00:44:38.269 on them and another robot says like what are 00:44:38.269 --> 00:44:40.690 you doing that for your tit they're a robot and 00:44:40.690 --> 00:44:42.909 the one that's getting bandaged is like no no 00:44:42.909 --> 00:44:46.420 I actually like it I feel like we have a bond 00:44:46.420 --> 00:44:50.679 between us. And then she's like, don't say anything 00:44:50.679 --> 00:44:53.400 bad about my commander. He's in charge. And you 00:44:53.400 --> 00:44:57.190 know that sort of like... The game's constantly 00:44:57.190 --> 00:44:59.510 reminding you that you're the one that's in charge 00:44:59.510 --> 00:45:02.130 and you're making all the calls and you're daddy. 00:45:02.429 --> 00:45:05.469 That kind of shit. And I think, yeah, 100 % people 00:45:05.469 --> 00:45:07.210 are lapping this up. And when I looked at the 00:45:07.210 --> 00:45:09.070 Google reviews, there was someone, they were 00:45:09.070 --> 00:45:11.349 like, I wish the microtransactions weren't so 00:45:11.349 --> 00:45:13.329 expensive because I just want to support this 00:45:13.329 --> 00:45:16.309 game. Shut the fuck up. You just want to wank 00:45:16.309 --> 00:45:19.530 to this game. That's all you want. I have to. 00:45:19.610 --> 00:45:22.449 I don't like just shaming people on this podcast, 00:45:22.530 --> 00:45:28.309 but it's just funny. Because the gameplay is 00:45:28.309 --> 00:45:32.750 kind of fun. And even if the story is amazing, 00:45:33.110 --> 00:45:37.230 I cannot play it seriously because I'm just staring 00:45:37.230 --> 00:45:40.269 at someone's arsehole while I'm shooting robots. 00:45:40.409 --> 00:45:43.030 And it's the fact that it even has... So you 00:45:43.030 --> 00:45:46.570 build like a deck. It's a gacha game. Of course 00:45:46.570 --> 00:45:48.550 it is. They all are, aren't they? But you build 00:45:48.550 --> 00:45:52.690 a deck of all these Nikkeis that you can unlock. 00:45:52.829 --> 00:45:56.849 And they all do different things. So you can 00:45:56.849 --> 00:46:00.210 auto -assign decks so it will do it for you. 00:46:00.389 --> 00:46:03.610 And then when combat starts, you can auto -play 00:46:03.610 --> 00:46:05.769 the combat. Of course you can. So you can do 00:46:05.769 --> 00:46:07.369 other things. Yeah, so you don't even have to 00:46:07.369 --> 00:46:09.590 play the game. So I'm like, don't sit there and 00:46:09.590 --> 00:46:11.349 tell me that the story's amazing. But at the 00:46:11.349 --> 00:46:13.650 same time, the story that I've heard so far, 00:46:13.750 --> 00:46:17.010 I'm kind of intrigued to see what happens. Fuck 00:46:17.010 --> 00:46:21.570 that, bro. It looks shit. I'm not going to lie. 00:46:21.829 --> 00:46:27.699 It looks shit. First off, the game is great and 00:46:27.699 --> 00:46:29.739 I'm all for the lewdness. The gameplay is more 00:46:29.739 --> 00:46:31.980 satisfying than I thought and would be at first. 00:46:32.059 --> 00:46:34.159 The characters are all likeable. The gacha so 00:46:34.159 --> 00:46:37.199 far hasn't been too bad. Blah, blah, blah. The 00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:39.059 devs seem to actually care about the players. 00:46:39.159 --> 00:46:46.360 Shut the fuck up. Here we go. This one is that 00:46:46.360 --> 00:46:49.079 I genuinely enjoy playing. The story and overall 00:46:49.079 --> 00:46:52.380 art style were brilliant. However, the only thing 00:46:52.380 --> 00:46:55.199 that makes me sad is the skins. You're only given 00:46:55.199 --> 00:46:57.219 a small amount of free pulls which aren't enough 00:46:57.219 --> 00:46:59.099 to let you get the skin that you're after Yeah, 00:46:59.119 --> 00:47:04.010 that's the whole point of a gacha I can't see 00:47:04.010 --> 00:47:05.829 the one where it's talking about... There's a 00:47:05.829 --> 00:47:07.289 lot of people saying they love the art style, 00:47:07.369 --> 00:47:09.170 but you would because it's massive boobies and 00:47:09.170 --> 00:47:12.510 curvy bums in your face. So any person with a 00:47:12.510 --> 00:47:16.469 penis is going to like that. I just wouldn't. 00:47:16.590 --> 00:47:18.789 That sort of stuff just doesn't... I just look 00:47:18.789 --> 00:47:21.110 at it and think, whoever likes this is a weirdo 00:47:21.110 --> 00:47:22.989 in my head. Yeah, but this is the thing, is that 00:47:22.989 --> 00:47:25.030 you're a nerd, but you're like an old school 00:47:25.030 --> 00:47:27.969 nerd. This is designed for computer nerds. This 00:47:27.969 --> 00:47:33.440 is for people who... hate women but are scared 00:47:33.440 --> 00:47:36.900 to talk to them. That's what it's for. You know 00:47:36.900 --> 00:47:39.840 what I mean? This is for a specific type of proper 00:47:39.840 --> 00:47:45.300 nerd. Because all the reviews that I'm reading, 00:47:45.500 --> 00:47:49.099 they all say how good the story is. And no one 00:47:49.099 --> 00:47:53.179 really talks about how borderline softcore porn 00:47:53.179 --> 00:47:56.599 it is. So I'm like, you haven't clicked on this 00:47:56.599 --> 00:47:58.980 game and downloaded it. You're lying to yourselves 00:47:58.980 --> 00:48:02.489 and each other. And now you're lying to us. Maybe 00:48:02.489 --> 00:48:05.070 I'll finish it. Maybe I'll finish it for the 00:48:05.070 --> 00:48:07.250 pod purposes and I can get back and tell everyone. 00:48:07.349 --> 00:48:10.329 What's mad is that Kin, someone in the guild 00:48:10.329 --> 00:48:12.789 and a person who I actually met at John's wedding, 00:48:12.929 --> 00:48:15.809 has played it and I didn't realise because ages 00:48:15.809 --> 00:48:18.769 ago he sent us through screenshots of how much 00:48:18.769 --> 00:48:22.269 of a weeb he is and how much money he spent on 00:48:22.269 --> 00:48:26.730 this specific game, not this one. And it's like... 00:48:27.239 --> 00:48:29.800 hundreds of pounds so much money on skins like 00:48:29.800 --> 00:48:31.280 that and I remember taking the piss out of it 00:48:31.280 --> 00:48:33.260 I was like who the fuck spends money on that 00:48:33.260 --> 00:48:37.099 it's this game this is the game because I sent 00:48:37.099 --> 00:48:39.320 a screenshot of it into the group chat and said 00:48:39.320 --> 00:48:43.760 lads I've found it I've found the one and then 00:48:43.760 --> 00:48:46.320 he was like why the fuck did no one tag me and 00:48:46.320 --> 00:48:47.980 then said he was like this is the game that I've 00:48:47.980 --> 00:48:50.679 like completed it's like the story is incredible 00:48:50.679 --> 00:48:52.260 he was like it would mean so much to me if you 00:48:52.260 --> 00:48:54.199 stuck with it because the story is really good 00:48:54.199 --> 00:48:56.119 and that's why I'm like half inclined where I'm 00:48:56.119 --> 00:48:58.780 like He is a gamer and knows what he's on about. 00:48:58.920 --> 00:49:01.579 But at the same time, he loves that sort of shit. 00:49:01.800 --> 00:49:03.760 So I think, are you just telling me that the 00:49:03.760 --> 00:49:05.920 story is really good to try and help the fact 00:49:05.920 --> 00:49:07.880 that you've spent fucking hundreds of pounds 00:49:07.880 --> 00:49:13.659 on this game? To just look at boobies. Just YouTube 00:49:13.659 --> 00:49:16.519 the story. Google it. Well, Joe even said, he 00:49:16.519 --> 00:49:18.739 was like, you know, you can literally just play 00:49:18.739 --> 00:49:21.840 porn video games. He was like, you haven't got 00:49:21.840 --> 00:49:23.360 to tease yourself with this because you don't 00:49:23.360 --> 00:49:24.980 actually see any boobs or anything in the game. 00:49:25.079 --> 00:49:28.260 And then he sent a link of all these different 00:49:28.260 --> 00:49:31.039 games. And he was like, just play one of them. 00:49:32.260 --> 00:49:34.880 And you ain't got to spend no money. Yeah, it's 00:49:34.880 --> 00:49:36.920 fucking ridiculous. That's what I'd expect from 00:49:36.920 --> 00:49:39.179 you, World of Warcraft lot. And that's 17 gig, 00:49:39.360 --> 00:49:41.880 by the way. How many boobies have they squeezed 00:49:41.880 --> 00:49:44.679 into 17 gig? How big is the story? 17 gig of 00:49:44.679 --> 00:49:47.980 breast. That's 17 gig. Before we stop, I quickly 00:49:47.980 --> 00:49:51.900 need to see Nick A. Play time? I just want to 00:49:51.900 --> 00:49:54.079 see... That's probably going to give me a different 00:49:54.079 --> 00:50:00.480 result for this game. What? For long -term players, 00:50:00.599 --> 00:50:03.139 the total time invested is extensive, with completionist 00:50:03.139 --> 00:50:06.719 play styles reaching over 400 hours. It's a gacha 00:50:06.719 --> 00:50:08.780 game, man. It's never going to end. Them sort 00:50:08.780 --> 00:50:11.719 of games don't end, man. Look at fucking... What 00:50:11.719 --> 00:50:14.139 is it? Grand Fantasy... No, not Grand Fantasy. 00:50:14.159 --> 00:50:16.880 Grand... What is that other one? The Zelda... 00:50:17.309 --> 00:50:19.550 Look -a -like. Genshin Impact? Yeah, that one. 00:50:19.610 --> 00:50:21.349 That's one of them games. Or Destiny Rising. 00:50:21.369 --> 00:50:24.610 So apparently the main story will take 80 hours 00:50:24.610 --> 00:50:27.809 roughly. And then with main plus the extra is 00:50:27.809 --> 00:50:33.869 361 hours. I'm not doing that. No, YouTube. I'm 00:50:33.869 --> 00:50:36.110 not doing that. You can go on Pornhub for a five 00:50:36.110 --> 00:50:37.250 -minute wank and then you're done, isn't it? 00:50:37.650 --> 00:50:45.269 I'm not putting 80 hours into a game. Goddess 00:50:45.269 --> 00:50:49.989 of victory. Well, there you go. See you later, 00:50:50.030 --> 00:50:50.269 everyone.