For democracy. Liberty. Liberty. What's happening,
everyone? What's going on? Poddy pod pod. Pod
time. Hell diver time. Me and Ash played together.
I played with Ash yesterday. God. Killed me.
I did. Killed me, killed yourself twice. It was
a fantastic experience. I had a great time. What
a, yeah, bit fucking mad with them bugs. Know
what I mean? Pretty fucking mental. It's just
hard, man. It's a good game. I'm glad to be playing
it again. After last week, was it, when you said
that you were jumping back on it? And I was like,
oh, I'll give it a download and then see what's
going on because I believe I also said last week
that I didn't stop playing Helldivers because
it was a bad game. something else grabbed me
I can't remember what it was I bet it was World
of Warcraft probably and I jumped back into Helldivers
and oh my god it's just so much fun just shooting
bugs yeah fuck the bugs terminids fuck the bugs
oh Jesus Christ I mean is it fuck the bugs though
because it's their planet well yeah funnily enough
I was listening to a Helldivers podcast Well,
the Warhammer podcast I listen to, but they also
touch on Helldiver's lore, which is perfect,
because they're two of my favourite things at
the moment. And, yeah, going from the lore, it's
pretty safe to say that humans are the bad guys.
Yeah. Entirely, or...? Pretty much. I mean, some
of the human laws are things like, you know,
spy on your fellow man, and if he's not saluting
towards Super Earth, whenever he salutes, if
he ain't on Earth, then tell and we'll kill him
and you'll get an extra doctor's appointment
once a year. Seems fair. Yeah. I like that. So,
yeah, pretty much Warhammer style. Sick fuckers.
Humans are just horrible cunts. Standard because
it was nice to see how many people. I like that
it tells you how many people are actually playing
on each individual planet. I like that also.
Because what was that? That was 144 ,000 people.
We're fucking diving into the gloom. Boom, boom,
boom, boom. Awful place. Yeah. Absolutely awful.
Can't see shit. I can't see things at the best
of times. It's bad. What I didn't expect, though,
was to see you put down an autocannon and then
run in front of it and then go, what the fuck
killed me? Spawn back and then almost immediately
run in the same location and then die again and
go, what the fuck killed me? And go, it's a cannon.
Your cannon killed you. Well, first time was
so nice. And then we was having... We had to
do it twice. We was having a really, really good
run. And I don't know if that's stupidity or
just caught in the moment of chaos running across
open fire. And I don't know why it killed me
so quick. You, like, one -tapped me. I didn't.
I put a lot of bullets into you. Oh, I didn't
see them. It felt... You followed me. No, no,
no. You ran in front of me, but as you ran in
front, I felt the bullets tear into your flesh.
It was like... And then it was just... I was
like, oh, no. I didn't want to blame you because,
you know, I shot you, but then also... You did
blame me. Yeah, but you did run in my way, so
it's kind of like... No, I know, but I would
have thought that... Because the amount of bugs
that I killed, and you know I killed a lot of
bugs. Yeah, you killed more than me, but you
also... Double. More than double. Yeah, but you
also had the fucking... Laser rifle. Yeah, the
laser dog thing that shoots things for you. I
didn't have that. I was carrying one hell bomb
for most of the match, so I had nothing. And
the other time I had a jetpack. That was bum
-clenchy time. Basically, I'm terrible with the
planet names, so I won't bother trying to name
them. It's Osaurus or Osori or something. Something
like that. Wherever the fuck we are, one of the
tasks permitted to us was to... What was that
big mushroom thing called? The Spore Lung. The
Spore Lung. We have to go and destroy the Spore
Lung. A big old fucking testicle dangling from
the ceiling in a cave. And you can't use your
stratagems in this place, which makes sense because
you're essentially underground or in like a canyon
where your stratagems just wouldn't make it.
And you have a hell bomb. So Ash has this hell
bomb on his back. We're just fucking slaughtering
our way through. And then we finally make it
into this arena where this spore lung is. And
then we both stand there after fucking just annihilation
and go, I don't know how to arm it. I hear you
running off in the distance saying, hey Siri,
how do I arm the hell bomb? And I was like, sweet,
he's Googling it. And then I just hear you go,
I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to
do this. It was chaos. You'd think if we were
smart people, before we... Before we went in
there, we'd been like, well, let's work out to
start this thing first. But all the time this
is happening, we're just being absolutely bombarded
by tyrannids. And we're in a circle. So there's
nowhere to go. We just have to absolutely...
Clench our bums. And also, you're trying the
whole time not to shoot the other person. So,
like, you can't just throw grenades willy -nilly.
No. Because there's no, like, there's nothing
that comes up on the map to say you're in radius
of getting blown up. No, no, no. So, it's kind
of, it's just fucking manic, isn't it? Manic.
It's just crazy. And that was only level five.
Level seven is where it really kicks off. It
goes up double that to, like, ten. Ten. Super
healthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when the big
creepies come out. It's level 7 to 10. Fucking
invisible hunters, I hate them. Oh, they're horrible,
man. And they've got so much health and all.
They just come out of nowhere. Those things,
because you've got the hunters and then you've
got the little ones as well, haven't you? Even
those little ones are annoying because they just
fucking jump over to you. Yeah. Oh, I hate them.
I absolutely hate them. But the laser rifle and
all that sort of shit works pretty well because
it just burns them. And the bugs don't like the
fire. Well, the new AR in the newest Warbond
people are watching videos. It's now the best
AR in the game because it's medium armor penetration,
45 rounds, and it's incendiary rounds, so it
sets things on fire. Oh, is it? Yeah. So it does
that. I'll have a look at that. Also, you can
customize it. So a lot of the weapons that are
really good can't do anything with them, but
you can also, you know, I don't think you can
up the mag size, but you can put scopes on it
and dots. That fucking heavy machine gun stratagem
that I was using, that is a bit naughty, because
that just penetrates everything. It's a lethal,
lethal bit of kit, but the sway on it is ridiculous.
I'm so used to being able to point a gun and
then quickly switch around and then start shooting
whatever I'm shooting and there'd be like a very
slight delay. But that gun, I could spin a whole
180, my gun's still behind me just fucking slowly
coming round, holding the trigger. Ergonomics.
Is that, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's actually a
stat for that. There is. There is indeed. Yeah,
I always wondered what that actually did for
that. Because the Halo AR, it's called Fantastic.
It's like, wherever you're looking, it's there.
But yeah, because you've got the little circle
plus your crosshair kind of thing. So that's
always like lagging behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I know exactly what you mean when you said
with the Halo gun where it gives you your bullet
count. That must be so nice because I am fucking
sick. And it seems so like, and it is normal,
but obviously it doesn't give you so much of
a bullet count as it does where you just run
out of ammo and reload. Like I know obviously...
No, it doesn't give you a bullet count because
it gives you a mag, doesn't it? Yeah, there's
no bullet count. When the AI just goes down to
red and then, boom, you're out. And you're always
at that awful bit where it's like you've got
a third of the mag left. Do I reload or do I
pump these first? Yeah, I always leave it in
there and try and fucking get rid of it. But
it's just fun, man. No, it's good fun. I think
there's something almost like primalistic about
just... invading another planet and killing all
its inhabitants that's what the English are good
for isn't it except we did it in countries and
not planets just going down but I like that you
pointed out yesterday when we were on a fucking
a tyrannid hive hive planet so it's like where
they come from And there's just big, massive
industrial pipework fucking draining oil from
this planet. And you're like, well, they're fucking
good at this, aren't they? Considering they're
bugs. Well, I'm wondering how they get about.
What, the bugs? Yeah. Well, they're on other
planets as well, aren't they? They don't just
live there. So how the fuck do they have spaceships?
What the fuck are they doing? There must be a
law for that. Because, you know, the Tyranids
in fucking Warhammer, they're aliens. They're
very similar. When they've got guns. Why the
fuck are the bugs holding guns? What's going
on here? Here we go. I mean, yeah, because literally
the first one is how do Tyranids travel? And
the next one is how do Tyranids have guns? But
they're not Tyranids. They're Terminids. Is that
what they're called? Terminids, yeah. Sorry,
I've been saying it wrong. They're Terminids.
Terminids. Yeah, here we go. Get to other planets.
How do Terminids... I know there are some farm
planets that go out of control. What about planets
without them? How do they travel in space? Also,
where are the queens? I'm going to use the Starship
Troopers explanation. They hurl asteroids that
contain their spores using plasma to colonize
other planets. In this game, it's different.
Super Earth was farming Terminids because they
release fuel on their rotting corpses, but somehow
they escaped and are running wild on some planets.
Sounds like someone planned it this way to me.
I was wondering this myself. The NPC on your
ship has a dialogue regarding all the information
that Super Earth Command has regarding how the
bugs get from planet to planet. And then, yeah,
someone said, on my ship, the NPC just says,
even after all these years, they still haven't
figured out how they jump between worlds, or
something like that. But this is why it's a great
game, because you can get involved in all this
sort of stuff if you want, or you can just completely
ignore it and shoot shit, whereas I like to...
Kind of know what's going on, but every now and
again you'll jump on the game and there'll be
a new update or something will just happen where
you've completed an objective as a whole. How
eerie. Someone said, this was three months ago,
said, where did it go? Anyone ever notice how
the outer rim sector is deep in terminated controlled
space? There's that orange hazy cloud enveloping
multiple sectors. Maybe that has something to
do with how they manage interstellar travel.
So the gloom. They were talking about the gloom
three months ago and then boom, here we are in
the gloom. In the gloom. So yeah, that's quite...
Squashing bugs. I mean, it makes sense some of
the... If you think of them as just purely bugs,
which they are, some of the explanations here
kind of make sense. Like someone saying that
they just get into cargo ships and then... release
themselves onto wherever because i'm assuming
the planet that we're on is not just a bug planet
or wasn't originally because they obviously constructed
all the pipe work and shit like that because
we was extracting fucking oil and fuel from a
fuel line i don't think tyrannids have got opposable
thumbs so no yeah nor do i feel like they have
a need for fucking fuel yeah so who knows but
it's it's interesting And it keeps my interest
piqued. Terminids known as the Bugs were an original
sentient alien species used by Super Earth to
produce the fuel element 710. But genetic tampering
led to their evolution into the rebellious destructive
species now fought by the Helldivers. These insectoid
creatures have a hive mind spread via pheromones
and are composed of various specialised roles,
from basic scavengers to large bile titans, with
the goal of spreading and destroying democracy.
I mean, I don't think that's their goal. No.
They're not trying to cause governmental collapse.
I think they just want to eat things. Yeah. What's
that? It looks tasty. I mean, that's probably...
So... That's cool, though. So they were originally
being farmed by humans. So they're like cows.
Yeah. Killer cows. So they were like cows and
then genetically mutated to like super cows.
And now the super cows eat us. It's quite mad.
Yeah, it's cool. So we shoot them. Yeah, so we
shoot them. But it feels so good to shoot them.
Oh, it does. Fuck them. It really does. Fuck
them. The only ones that I absolutely hate. are
the same as you, is the massive armoured ones.
Oh, yeah, it does make sense. Because they're
just so annoying. Because you've got to get behind
them and then shoot them and blah, blah, blah.
It's hard to get behind things when you're being
surrounded by all sides. Yeah, it's quite a difficult
one. And you're always running out of ammo. Yeah,
it's a tricky game. That's why I like jetpacks
so much, because if ever I get overwhelmed, I
just go, see ya. I don't understand the rearm.
What do you mean? I don't get it. What do you
mean rearm? Rearm. Eagle rearm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you use an eagle cluster bomb and then rearm.
I thought the whole purpose of that was so that
it rearms your cluster bomb. Because you're two,
right? Huh? With the orbital strike, you can
use it on a cooldown constantly, whereas the,
was it eagle I just said? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You
only get two of them. What? Oh, what in the whole
thing? Yeah, so... Oh, so that's why it's rearm.
Oh, I was confused. I thought it was you use
the stratagem and then you use rearm and then
that just gets rid of the cooldown because you've
rearmed the flight. No, I think you can use the
two. So you'll use one, it'll cool down, you
can use the other one, but then you'll have zero.
Yeah. Or you can use one, rearm it, and then
it'll come back and you'll have two again. And
then the orbital is just on cooldown because
it's coming from the fucking ship above you.
Yeah. It's just... It's so much fun. It is. And
you get your little fucking Pip -Boy up and you
go... I love that thing, yeah. Throw that. All
the little things. Oh, you've got to take this
off and put the codes in. Yeah, and that tune.
Oh, that film's going to be sick, bro, or whatever
they do. Of course, it's going to be Starship
Troopers, man. It's such a cool thing, though.
Yeah, but like a modern one. I'm going to watch
Starship Troopers. Yeah, I was going to watch
it. Good old movie. Oh, we could have like a
sleepover. Yeah, we could. New vape, new me.
Interlock our toes. That is a smaller vape. It's
exactly the same. It's just silver. No, you had
one of them big chunky ones that looks like a
big old dildo, like this one. No, I haven't had
one. I know this isn't a vape, but it's juice.
I haven't had one of them in years. No, you have.
I think I would know. Well, the other one that
I was using today is literally the same size
and is in the vape. Yeah, no, let's ignore that.
I'm telling you, you had a big one. I did have
a big one. See, there you go. I used to dangle
in the water when I sat in the toilet. but it's
got a planet on it look it's cool yeah it's very
cool well done they put planet what they put
fucking graphics on them now yeah man I can change
the colour Jesus Christ sick isn't it fuck me
Skyrim it's got a lock button which I appreciate
that's cool because now I can't burn myself yeah
when I'm doing stuff no that makes sense anything
else other than Helldivers Oh, mate, everything.
I've been busy. Have you? Yeah, I've been playing
fucking all sorts of shit. What have you been
up to? Oh, fucking loads, man. Did you see the
James Bond? I did. Did you watch the whole thing?
I watched most of it, then started skipping through
it, and I enjoyed it. I just thought, yeah, I'll
play that. There's no point in watching it anymore.
Yeah, I thought exactly the same. I saw about
15 minutes of it and went, this looks pretty,
pretty good. It looks like Hitman and Uncharted.
Yeah, I thought it looked like Hitman, but with
more action. Yeah. Which is nice. Yeah. Yeah,
no, it looks good. It does look good. I'm interested
to see how... Is there a release date for it?
I'm interested to see how that plays out. 007.
Is it the first light? 2026. It doesn't have
an actual date? Or it does? Because I can pre
-order it, but it doesn't tell me when it...
24 -hour early access. Jesus Christ. Hold on.
I've never had dogs that kick off to the fucking
ice cream man. It's September. Why is the ice
cream man still bowling about? Fucking leave
that. What have you been up to? Playing all sorts
of games. I played Space Marine 2. Well, I didn't
play. That's a complete lie. I put it on yesterday
after I was just having a look because they did
their big update yesterday. Where they've done
loads of new stuff. There's new modes. There's
new fucking... The biggest update they've ever
done on the game. This is their year anniversary
yesterday. Yeah, yeah. They added loads of armour.
They added the World Eater's armour, which obviously
I'm in for because that's my shit. Yeah, that
is your jam. Disappointed me because you can
only put it on the PvP armour and only on the
fucking Vanguard, which I don't play. So that
annoyed me. But I haven't checked out any of
the new stuff that you can actually do on it.
I know there's like new enemies and new game
modes and a new shop that you can earn currency
from in -game. It's cool stuff, man. I mean,
they've done a season pass too, but I didn't
buy the first one, so I'm not going to buy this
one. But I love new stuff and I like Space Marine.
And I also played Silksong. Jesus Christ. It's
the last time I have to pause this podcast because
the dogs are barking. I've killed them. they
will no longer bother us carry on you played
silk star silk silk valley silicon valley close
silk silk island silk song silk song estonia
it's though it's the sorry i was just distracted
by something fucking hell um Silk Song Hollow
Knight 2 basically yeah which everyone's been
creaming over and waiting for for fucking a millennium
Hollow Knight Silk Song was it is it good is
it was it Hollow Knight it's got good reviews
yeah it's fucking amazing it says Hollow Knight
Silk Song yeah Silk Song is the sequel that came
out yesterday yeah but it's called Hollow Knight
Silk Song I don't think I think it's just called
Silk Song but maybe oh no it's there yeah there
you go that's me right again show me the case
show me the case What do you mean, the case?
The picture there. That one? Yeah, what does
it say? What do you mean? It says Hollow Knight
Silksong. 10 out of 10 on Steam. Yeah, well,
it's fucking amazing. It's just a great little
game. But, yeah, I'll crack on with that. It's
fucking hard, isn't it? It's a hard game. Is
it hard? Oh, yeah, they're proper hard. I don't
know. I've never... As the lethal hunter Hornet,
adventure through a kingdom ruled by Silk and
Song. Captured and taken to this unfamiliar world,
prepare to battle mighty foes and solve ancient
mysteries as you ascend on a deadly pilgrimage
to the kingdom's peak. Hollow Knight, Silk Song,
is the epic sequel to Hollow Knight, the award
-winning action adventure. journey to all new
lands discover new powers battle vast hordes
of bugs and beasts and uncover secrets tied to
your nature and your past yeah it's good yeah
what's um what's so overwhelmingly positive and
it's got a fuckload of reviews as well trying
to buy this game on release day was the worst
and most painful two and a half hours long edging
session in my entire life it was worth it why
was it what Mate, don't even go there. It was
supposed to come out yesterday, but I went on,
I wishlisted it the day before on PlayStation.
And I went on PlayStation when I got in yesterday.
It was supposed to drop at like three o 'clock
or something. And I went on PlayStation, so I
was like, it's not on the store page. Weird.
Before it'd be like front and center. Wasn't.
Searched it. It was not even on the store. I
was like, what the fuck is going on? Went on
my wishlist. It was there. So I clicked on it
on the thing, but it still wouldn't say buy or
anything. It just would not appear to buy. Yeah.
And it was doing that on everything. Steam, Xbox,
PlayStation. It just crashed all the systems.
I genuinely think that might have had a bit of
a problem with the PlayStation Party. That's
what I was thinking as well. Fucked everything.
That really pissed me off, you know. I was like,
it's a PS5. I was like, what do you mean it can't
start a party? You get pissed off by two little
things. You need to... What do you mean? You
need to chill out. Why? Because it's not that
deep, man. It is? Who cares? We played. We had
fun, didn't we? What do you mean? Coming from
you. No, no, I'm chilled. No, you ain't. I'm
chilled. You ain't a chilled guy. I'm a very
relaxed man. No, you aren't. I'm fucking not
going to be in a minute. You see what I mean?
It's a joke. But no, it's all good, isn't it?
It's all good. No drama. But yeah, the... It
just wouldn't appear, so... But yeah, the first
one, man. Fucking sick game. I wonder if they
missed out on any dough because of that. Did
they say why that happened? No, I couldn't see
nothing. But it's such a fucking great game.
And they know it's a great game. And it's 15
quid. Do you know what I mean? A game about bugs.
Where you're a bug that fights other bugs, the
only thing that really bugs me is how long it
took for this buggy little bug of a game to finally
bug its way onto my screen. No software bugs,
just actual bugs. 10 out of 10. Best review ever.
It was fantastic. The first one was fantastic.
This one is the same but more cute, more pretty
to look at. Just feels better in every aspect
because it's an indie studio. They've made millions
from the first one and then now... elevated to
new heights. Yeah. But yet they still charge
15 quid when they know, they know they could
charge at least a score, 100%, right? So they're
missing out on money because they're sweet. Yeah,
but are they? But there's no reviews. Why? Because
the company, Team Cherry, shout out to Team Cherry,
they said no one is going to review it. The first
people that should be playing this game are the
people that backed it and pre -ordered it. Not
free reviews for people. They know it's going
to be the fucking GOAT game. It's going to be
in Game of the Year conversation for sure. It's
one of them. Every single Games Awards or anything,
it's just all the comments. Silksong, when? Hollow
Knight, when? But we know why. It's a smart thing
when companies do that. Or developers, whatever.
When you go, yeah, I could definitely make 30
quid a pop off of this. I could also make 15.
Chances are I'm going to get more people buying
that than... Don't be such a... Greedy little
cunt. No, don't be such a negative Nelly. They're
great people. Who's negative? You're saying that
they've done it for malicious reasons. They're
good people. Who? What? They're good people.
No, where did you get malicious? No, because
you said that they could charge more. Yeah. But
they're going to earn more money if they charge
less. No, they've done it because they're nice,
not because they want money. Nah. Nah, fuck it.
I love them. You've got to give them their flowers,
man. But yeah, it's a great game. I don't think
you'd like the first one or the second one because
I think it's too hard for you. No, I don't. Not
after you've done Elden Ring. There's no Mimic
tier, though. Is it like Cuphead? No, so it's
like... Have you ever played a Metroidvania game?
Who? A Metroidvania game. Don't tell me you've
never heard of a Metroidvania. Oh, sorry. Sorry,
I forget that you're speaking pure fucking English
there. Mate, fuck off, mate. Everyone knows what
a Metroidvania is. No, everyone who's fucking
under the age of 50 doesn't know what a Metroid...
Yes, they fucking do. That's the first... There's
a girl at work, right? And this will tie in well.
She's pregnant, right? And she announced it on
Instagram yesterday, right? Guess the baby's
name. I think it's a boy. You will never guess
the name. Because I've never heard of it once.
I bet I've heard of it. I bet you haven't. Hit
me. Curran. C -U -R -R -A -N. I know someone
with that surname. Fuck off, do you? No, you
don't. No, you don't. I can tell you. You can
Google him. Facebook him. You don't. I do. I
will. Surname, not first name. Well, no, because
it's obviously a name. Yeah, I'm just saying.
I know someone with that second name. I don't
know first name. It's just such a... This is
what I'm saying, is I'm quite adept with names.
You know what I mean? I've met people. Everyone
has a name. So I feel like in the world of names,
I'm probably professional level of understanding
names. Yeah. Curran threw me by surprise. Right?
This is a professional podcast, gaming podcast.
I was about to say, this podcast, lucky this
is free. Where I feel like, what do you mean?
We've done way worse than this. I know names.
People have got names. Yeah. I've met people.
And they've got names. Yeah, good one, mate.
Yeah, they understand. And I'm simply saying,
I've never heard of a, well, and because I've
never heard of it, it must mean that it's not
that mainstream, a Metroidvania game. Yeah, the
fact that you've never heard of that means nothing.
No, I'll Google this and it'll say that it's
not popular. It's an entire genre, bro. It's
an entire genre, of course it is. It's a combination
between Metroid and Castlevania combined. At
a glance, Google can only give me 42 different
examples. Of a Metroidvania game. Oh, there's
more. You've heard of a roguelike? Yeah. Yeah,
that is a lot less popular than Metroidvania.
Like, the terminology. Really? Not so much now,
because roguelike have become a much bigger thing.
But five years ago, maybe? Metroidvania, you
would have heard. Dead Cells, I've heard of.
Yeah, Metroidvania. Guacamelee. Guacamelee, yeah.
Metroid Dread. Yeah, because it's a Metroid game,
yeah. SteamWorld. I've heard of that. Haiku the
Robot. I have heard of quite a lot of these.
Blasphemous 2, Castlevania, Bloodstained. Ori
and the Will of the Wisps. I've heard of that.
Ori and the Blind Forest. Okay. Here we go. And
Metroidvania is an action -adventure video game
sub -genre characterised by a large, interconnected
world that players explore non -linearly, acquiring
new abilities or items to overcome obstacles
and access previously unreachable areas. Oh,
so I've definitely played them before. 100%.
100%. So basically... Obviously, you've never
played Castlevania, I'm guessing. No, no. So
Castlevania, I'm not sure which one comes first,
Metroid or Castlevania. I think Castlevania.
But either way, they're both very similar games.
So they just put them in together and said they're
Metroidvanias. Yep. And they are exactly what
was just said. So you'll start at the beginning
of the game. You'll, I don't know, go through
a castle or something and there'll be a door
and you can't get through the door or you'll
see like, I don't know, a room and then there's
a big gap of loads of spikes on. I don't know
how to get over there. But then 15 hours later,
you get a new power that lets you walk on spikes.
And then you go, oh, fucking hell, I remember
that room with all the spikes in. So you'll go
back to that room. That's a Metroidvania. Like
Pokemon. Yeah, kind of like Pokemon, but nothing
like Pokemon. Yeah, I know what you mean. But
that sort of mechanic of, oh, you can't touch
this for two thirds of the game. Remember to
come back when you can. But Metroidvanias are
notoriously punishable because... You can't look
at the map and be like, oh, that's the spike
room. You might be able to aesthetically see,
but there's no markers that go, oh, you can go
here now. You just have to stumble across it.
And they're full of secrets, like hitting walls
and shit, and then a fucking whole new thing
comes out. They're just fantastic games. But
yeah, the Hollow Knight 1, I don't think I finished
it because I was playing it on the Nintendo Switch
when my daughter was born. And I just weren't
really feeling it and never really fucked with
it. But I enjoyed what I was playing. But yeah,
then when I ended up just watching a playthrough
on YouTube, so I was like, fuck it, I'm done.
But I enjoyed it. And I knew the second one would
be, you know, that times 10. And it's all fresh
for everyone. No one knows, so no one can spoil
anything. It's all going through at the same
time. So I bought it, even though I'm kind of
going against my new rule where I don't buy anything
until I finish the games I'm playing. But it's
one of them. I'll just play for 20 minutes, half
hour. Then go back to Rogue Trader and slog along.
Yeah, I mean, and who? And slog along. Oh, I
thought you said snog along. I was like, is this
a new character? Oh, mate, you don't even want
to know what's been going on in the last week,
mate. It's fucking wild out here. It's fucking
wild, mate, I'm telling you. Why? Are we on that
already, are we? Gordon Bennett, I don't even
know. Where did I leave off? Because it's just
endless fucking torment across the stars. Where
the fuck were you? What was he doing? I know
I'd escaped the Jakari fucking prison. You'd
escaped that gaff and then you were back and...
Oh, what happened? You were back on your ship.
Obviously. Yeah, I was back on my ship and I
had to go to the Inquisitor who took over my
station, hadn't he? My footfall station where
all the cannibals lived. Yeah, that's the one.
Yeah, so there's two other rogue traders in the
sector. that owned different things. One of them
was a geezer called Caligos Winterscale. He'd
run amok on one of his planets. He hadn't heeded
the Inquisitor's calls, so I went down to have
a little butcher, see what was going on. He was
in some forest or something. He hadn't been backed
onto his ship for a fucking month. So I went
looking for him, found him. And he was just killing
all the Aldari, Eldari, whatever they are, the
elves, basically. Which, you know, I've got that
alien with me. She's like, she's the one that
everyone wanted me to kill because she trapped
us and got us taken in the prison. But I, you
know, forgave her because he was shagging her
or whatever. And then, yeah, and then Caligar's
winter scale was like, let's kill all the Eldari.
And I was like... But then I've got... I've got
one. I've got one, yeah. Yeah. She didn't like
that. So she was like, I'm going to meet my friends
and give them a head start. Yeah. And then we
finally all met up and... Yeah. She got slaughtered.
Oh. I killed them all. Me and Caligar killed
every single Eldari that was there. What, you
killed your... My companion. My friend. Why?
What? Why? Funny. What did the... What did your
little inquisitor friend... Well, he don't fucking...
He hated her from day dot because she's an alien,
isn't she? They don't fuck with aliens. She just
killed all the aliens. Killed them all. But...
I can see what these people look like. Interestingly
enough, it's A -E -L -D -E -R -I, I think. If
you're looking for Aldari. Aldari. But if you're...
But, yeah, they're... Oh, yeah, they just look
like elves. Well, they are. Elves in space, man.
They just look like... Well, how can you fucking
call that an alien? I'm sorry, how can you look
like an Inquisitor and then look at them and
go, oh, yeah, no, they're the freaks? They've
got long ears and that, haven't they? I'm sorry,
I forget Inquisitors ain't fucking half robots
and shit. They're not half robots, bruv. Yeah,
so, well, they're alien to humans anyway, so
that's just the thing they go with. And, yeah,
Caligos, his mate, he was, like, laughing and
smirking at me and all sorts. He loved it. He
loved the blood. Turns out he's a fucking world
eater, isn't he? Ah, that's good. So I was like,
oh, yeah, sick. Yeah, you're cool. So he gave
me a world eater sword. But interestingly, I
wouldn't have known he was a world eater. It
was only because I know the world eater lore.
I knew what they were, like, getting at. So,
yeah, that was cool. So me and Caligos are, like,
best buds now. So I fucked off back to Footfall
to see what the Inquisitor was up to. He got
the other Inquisitor there running the show on
my fucking space station. So I was not happy.
So I turned up. She's giving it to Barry. So
I pointed a gun at her. I was like, fuck off,
will you? She's like, I've got a force field
around me. What, the Inquisitor? No, the other
road trader. Oh, right. He put her in charge
of the station for a while. For a while. So,
yeah, I went and met my old mate that I made
a deal with originally to give him rations in
exchange for Xenos stuff. He was hiding up in
a bar because he was actually in charge of the
planet, even though it was mine, whatever. And
then I basically hatched a plan to trap the rogue
trader. So I said, oh, yeah, he's willing to
surrender, so come and get him. She turned up
and we blew her fucking head off and all her
goons. And then it was like, yeah. Are you allowed
to do that? Fuck, do what I want, mate. So then
they was like, oh, what laws do you want to incite?
I was like, it's a fucking lawless place. Fuck
the Imperium. Fuck everything. Do what you want.
Everyone was like, eee. So just chaos. I fucked
off off there. Had enough of that. Got back on
my ship. Went somewhere else and then all of
a sudden they were like, oh, Lord Captain, Lord
Captain, it's all going off. All trouble and
shit. I was like, oh, God, what's happening?
That's how they come up onto the main deck, wasn't
it? There's all shit going on. I was like, all
right, I'll go and have a look. I went and got
in the elevator to go a bit lower. And the fucking
elevator fell all the way down to the bottom.
And I come out of there and one of my old pals
was there. Turns out he's a traitor. He tried
to shoot me. And then he fucked off on a train.
You've got trains on your ship? Yeah, it's massive,
mate. I told you, the ship's huge. Of course
it has a fucking spaceship. And then the jean
-stealers turn up. Dirty little bastards. Who?
Jean -stealers. The stealers of jeans, not Levi's.
Little fucking alien fuckers. Oh, he's took my
jeans. Yeah, they're proper fucking aliens, mate.
He's took my fucking jeans. They're my Levi's.
Yeah, they all turned up. That was all fucking
kicking off like double lively. And then I ended
up in that fucking place, didn't I, where I let
it all get a bit oozy. Oh, they are proper aliens,
them jeans dealers. They almost look like fucking
squid people. Yeah, they... Yeah, then I ended
up back in that fucking place that I let go to
the dogs, didn't I? You know, all the ooze and
that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You was in there, wasn't
you? Yeah, I actually saw the repercussions of
my actions. It was a bit naughty in there. What
was the repercussions? It was just dirty and
green and slimy and shit. And people were, like,
oozing out pus. Yeah. It was a bit gross. So,
yeah, I dealt with that. Killed everyone. And
then... Then I went back up to the top. That's
your default setting for fixing something. Just
kill it. Just eradicate it. Kill it. Oh, yeah.
Also, that alien, my companion that I killed,
they have like spirit stones. So I took a spirit
stone and then gave it to the altar behind my
bed. And that took it, gave me a new ability.
So I can like warp shriek and shit now. It's
a bit mad. All sorts of warp fucking powers and
stuff. And then, yeah, my little shadow, my assassin,
Kibella, she's my favourite character probably
other than the Inquisitor. She's double hard.
She started going a bit loopy. She just chopped
off some geezer's head. So then she got dragged
before me saying, oh, you can't do this, you
can't do that. I was like, she can do what she
wants. Don't fucking touch her again. And I was
like, oh, she's not the same. Because when we
was in the Eldari prison... Some mad experiments
got put on all my companions and one of us, she
got like cloned. So they were like, oh, you might
have got the wrong clone back and all this bollocks.
So I went to my astropath choir and basically
got put inside her head and dealt with that.
I saw the Lord God Emperor himself and I told
him to kneel before me. That didn't go down well.
No, no, no, wait. I'm lost. Because there was
a choir. What? The Astropathic Choir. The Astropathic
Choir. So that's how they fucking talk between
worlds. Do you know what I mean? The astropaths,
they talk between worlds. They're the ones that
communicate messages. Right, okay. So they're
like WhatsApp for Warhammer. Yeah, basically.
Warhammer WhatsApp. So what, you needed them
to send a message to who? No, no, they'd done
like a fucking ritual, so I got to go inside
of my companion's head. Yeah, so they went...
Yeah, you didn't score, exactly that. You're
now in her head, and what's going on? It's just
loads of mad shit. There was a guard in the way,
I fucking stabbed him up, and then it showed
me a tarot card or fucking some shit. I don't
know, a load of weird shit. It's weird, man.
It's just weird shit, isn't it? And then, yeah,
the God Emperor was sitting there on his throne,
and he's just a big skull and that. Why was the
God Emperor there? I don't know. I'm in her head,
aren't I? Well, the one that they're feeding
thousand bodies to a day. But you're in her head,
so it's her perceived vision of him. Of him.
And so he sat there, dead but alive. Mate, he's
massive as well. He was like 8 ,000 times my
size, like a giant. Big bowl of bodies that he
just has a munch of every now and then. Or someone
fucking like popcorn. Did he say anything to
you? No, I think he was just like looking at
me or whatever. He was just looking at you? And
then what did you do? Because it's a weird thing.
It's like all on paper. It's weird. I can't explain
it. It comes up in like text format, this part
of it. You're not actually there. It just says
what's happening. So there's a picture of him
sitting on his phone and all that bollocks. So,
yeah, and just one of the options was tell him
to get off my throne. You get off, that's mine.
And he just smiled or something and started bleeding
out his eyeballs or some shit. And then I just
continued with that trend of fuck off, mate.
Give me back my pal. And then they was like,
and then I think he touched my heart or something
and then pulled something really tightly and
was like, look, I can just end you. Do you know
what I mean? Then he whispered a name and said,
if you want your companion back, you have to
kill this person. I was like, yeah, all right,
sweet. Good at that. Fuck it. No problem. Yeah,
you want me to kill someone? Yeah. No worries.
Whatever will I do? So yeah, I agreed to that.
And all Gucci. And now that's where I'm at. Oh,
so you haven't found them and killed whoever
this person is? No, no, no. That's where I turn
it off. Because I like to turn it off from places
where I'm about to embark on something cool.
I look forward to it. So he pulled at your heartstrings.
literally yeah and went i will end you yeah he
said he said that he said that he sees inside
me I'm a bad, bad man, basically. Not in them
words. You are a bad, bad man. Yeah, he was like,
you're a very naughty boy. You're in a lot of
trouble. And we're going to see each other very
soon, but not yet. And when you do see me, you
will be judged. And I was like, fuck off, mate.
I've got chaos gods on my side, you dickhead.
Who cares if you're going to judge me? What the
fuck are you on about? Have you seen my altar?
Exactly. Back at that. Absolute fraggle, mate.
I mean, is he though? Is he not better than a
chaos god? He's a cunt. The god emperor of mankind
is a cunt. What is the law around the god emperor?
He's just a man. Why is he in this position that
he is? He is a man that was born in like the
Roman times or something. Or no, he was born
at the beginning of fucking earth. And he's just
lived forever and he's just a fucking horrible
cunt. And everything's done in his name. But
he's just a piece of shit. As the emperor travelled
across the stars, some humans wanted to worship
him as a god. However, he forbade it, proclaiming,
I am not a god. Rather than enslaving humanity,
I want to free it from ignorance and superstition.
So he's just a man. How is he so big and how
are they keeping him alive then? He's a corpse
emperor. He's not big. That was just in her brain.
No, I thought he was big though. Why did I have
that vision in my head that he was big? No, no,
no. He's just a normal sized geyser. I think
he's big like Space Marine big, but he's not
big as in ginormous. He's certainly not now.
He's just a corpse in a fucking golden throne
room. Yeah, he's just sat there in a chair as
a skull, isn't he? He's fucked up, boy. Well,
I say as a skull. Yeah, because he's just like
decomposed. Yeah, yeah. But is he still alive?
Yeah, yeah. They're keeping him alive by sacrificing
the psychos to keep him alive. But he can't do
anything. Oh, no, because they think that if
he were to die, then the... Is it the warp? The
warp will overtake the world. Yeah, because isn't
it... If they believe... The Imperium of Man
believe that if the Emperor dies... then the
thing that they made that allows intergalactic
travel will cease working, is what they believe.
It's all propaganda, mate. Yeah, that's what
I'm saying. I don't know what they believe, but
they just have to keep him alive. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. And they worship him and call him the God
Emperor, and then all people that don't like
him, i .e. aliens and shit, call him the Corpse
Emperor. And Cabella, which is my companion,
she works for the Bloodspun Web, which is like
a death cult. and they call him the Nameless
One or something, and he whispers names to them,
and then they go kill him. But this person that
she decapitated was not whispered to her. She
just did it because she felt like it, because
she thought he was a piece of shit. Are you worried
she's going to do that to you? No, because we're
great friends. Yeah, but you were friends with
the other one as well. Yeah, but she was an alien.
So, you know, it was my duty. And she stood in
the way of me and Caligar, and we're rogue traders.
We're best buds. But yeah, it's interesting now
that I've killed the other rogue trader. The
Lord Inquisitor is still in front. I love that
as a sentence. You go, me and Caligus, the other
rogue trader, we're best buds. And then you followed
that on with, so when I killed the other rogue
trader. I killed the other one. The Lord Inquisitor
hasn't said anything about it, which I'm interested
to see what his take is on it. But also... What
did you think of this? Also, that reminds me,
old Henrix, my Inquisite mate, he was like, oh,
come fucking crawling back, didn't he? Oh, I'm
sorry I snitched on you, but I've got a really
big problem I need you to help me with. Fucking
here we go. Go on then. He was like, oh, yeah,
one of my old pals, they're in a bit of bother.
Can we go deal with it? So off we flew to another
planet, got there. And his old pal, turns out
she's fucking, she's a bit naughty now. She's
turned to chaos. So he was like, oh, fucking
hell, what's going on here? Turns out, they weren't
supposed to be having this conversation in front
of me. The fucking Lord Inquisitor, he might
be a bit naughty himself. Oh, really? Yeah. So
he might be, he might be, what's the word? Colluding?
Yeah. With aliens and doing all sorts of dodgy
shit. Oh, he's doing these on the old Xenos fucking
deal, is he? So Henrix is like, hmm, I'm not
sure about this. So I think, oh, hold on, hold
on. So your boss, not so squeaky clean after
all. I'm going to turn Henrix to me. He's going
to come to my side. And we're going to kill him.
That's what I decide. I don't know if the game
will let me. That's what I'm going to do. Well,
you're going to try and kill the Inquisitor.
Yeah, fuck him. Because I've got Chaos Gods on
my side. And when I... I'm going to be a bad
demon. I'm just naughty. Have you done any more
praying to the altar? Yeah, every time. Every
time I'm on the ship, I quickly go to the bedroom
and pray just to see if anything else happens.
Because, like I say, I shattered that fucking
stone. It was like, yeah, take it. I was like,
yeah, take it, yeah. And then, yeah, whispers.
It was like... I was like, yeah, I get it. Kill
everyone. No, not everyone. I mean, let's not
kill everyone. Otherwise, no one will fear us.
Oh, yeah. Good point. Imagine that as a problem.
We've killed everyone. Now no one's scared of
us because there's no one left. This is the problem
with the game is that it's so great. But now,
even though I'm playing Corvus as I want Corvus
to be played in terms of... you know, from the
very beginning he was possessed, right? From
the very start of the game, like 10 minutes in,
you're just put with a conundrum of like, oh,
do you want to take this chaos in and, you know,
blah, blah, blah. So I just ran with that and
was like, yeah, fuck it, he's infected. But the
more I play it, I'm like, oh, I really wish I
weren't a cunt. I really wish I was nice. And
then I think, I'm not doing this for another
150 hours. You know what I mean? Because you've
got to think, I've played it for a fucking long
time. But this is the problem with Alcat games.
Because I'm playing it now when there's fucking
the two DLCs out with Cabela, who I've got, and
Solomon, which is the Arbetes, which is Robocop,
basically. So I've got them as companions. But
they also add 15 hours of storyline. They're
fantastic with this, by the way. This game's
already out. They've added these DLCs. But that
Cabela stuff I just said about going into her
head and she's slow. All these things. have been
interwoven into the story they're not just oh
here's a section of game added they're interwoven
throughout the whole story it's genius how they
do it but then they announced a little while
ago they're doing two more dlcs and i'm just
like i'm not playing it again fuck that so i'm
kind of missing out on more shit because the
game would need to be played again in its fullest
So to play an Alcat game, you really want to
wait until like four years after DLC. Until they're
done with it. Yeah. Because it's like Pathfinder,
Wrath of the Righteous. They're still adding
DLCs to that. The game's old as balls. You think,
how many playthroughs do you want to do? I mean,
I probably will play it again because I'm a slag.
Probably. And while I wait... So why would you...
Dark Heresy. Why do you want to be good? Because
I don't like being bad. It's only because Corvus
has been infected. I know, you're doing it pretty
fucking well. You've killed everyone. Because
it's Corvus, man. He can't help it. He's been
infected. Maybe you'll see the error of his ways,
but... No, you can't do that whole fucking Marvel
bullshit. Every time he's been given the opportunity
to change his ways, he says, yeah, fuck off.
And that's just the way it is. He's fully fucking
heretical, evil, nasty cunt. But I would like
to go on the side of, Because there's dogmatic,
there's heretical, and there's iron -classed.
So, like, dogmatic is going to be, like, ultra
for the emperor of mankind. Do you know what
I mean? So, even though it's still going to be
bad, you're still... Anyone does anything naughty,
anyone does anything, like, colluding with fucking
aliens and trading alien weapons or whatever
it may be. They're still going to get fucking
executed, but they'll do it for the emperor.
You can't do that. It's the fucking Lex Imperialum.
It's the law. You're not allowed to. I watched
you at dinner take more than one bread roll.
Yeah, so I'm going to have to kill your family
as well. You're all going to have to die. We
need that bread roll back, or we need sanctions
in place, and that sanction is your life. Yeah,
then that's the problem. So whilst you're being
good, you're still... being a bit of a piece
of shit, but you're doing it for what reasons
you think is right. So there is no real good
way of doing stuff. Who is right and who is wrong
at the end of the day? Exactly. It's a perspective.
And this is what I always say to Conor, you go
for my messages for him. And he's always like,
for the Emperor. I'm like, fuck the Emperor.
Of course he's for the Emperor. Of course he
is because he's a slimy little weasel bag. Fuck
the Emperor. That's all he is. He's a snively
little wreck. I think the Emperor is the bad
guy, personally. Genuinely. Yeah, I'll be with
you. I genuinely think he is. I'll be with you
on that. Because I've read a lot of stuff now.
I've watched a lot of videos. I'm under the...
Don't get me wrong, Chaos is bad. But I think
Emperor is certainly as evil. He's as bad. It's
always like, I'm sure the Chaos think that what
they're doing is not good, but for the best.
And it's exactly the same as the Imperium of
Mankind. They're exactly the same. They go, no,
what we're doing is best. And you go, no, it
isn't. You're all bad. You're all cunts. And
I find, like, the Warp and the Chaos Marines
and all the people like that, they're just cooler,
man. Do you know what I mean? And it's most media.
At most games, I always think, like Star Wars,
for example, my favourite character is Anakin,
as he turns to the dark side, Darth Vader, the
same person, whatnot. But why do I like him more
than I like Luke Skywalker or Obi -Wan Kenobi?
I can tell you right now. You know why? Because
I've been thinking about it all week. Because
the evil characters in media, they always have
a more interesting story. Because the good guys
are just, I'm good because I'm good. It's the
right thing to do. But not just evil characters.
I mean, people that were good but then turned
more often than not for a reason and their motives
behind it. They've just got more... Yeah, there's
more in -depth story there. Yeah, it's just more...
They've got more character to it. I think that's
because you have them as a good person and then
you see them usually, yeah, like twist and turn
into something that they once were against and
they're now fully involved. I mean, realistically,
If we was in that kind of world, if we was in
Warhammer, I'd probably be fucking evil as well.
Or would I? I don't even know if I would. If
it was me as me, I'd probably end up being some
kind of paladin. Someone that's wielding holy
light. I would do whatever the person would hurt
me the least. What can you do? You can pull my
fingers off. All right, what can you do? Burn
me from the inside out. I'll go with the fingers
off because that's not going to hurt so much.
I don't want to... Boil from the inside out.
Thank you. Yeah, but that would be... You know
what I mean? You could really test some stuff
here. I don't want to test. If I was in that,
I'd probably just blow my own head off, to be
honest. I don't want to put up with that. What,
in Warhammer? Mate, that world is fucked. That's
fucked. You're fucked. No matter what you do,
you're fucked. It's game over. Yeah, but you
could have some fun halfway through it. This
ain't no story, mate. This is real life. You
know what I mean? I'm not running on no battlefield
with chainswords. I'm just going to sit there.
That's a bit mad, isn't it? Farming. That's a
bit mad. Considering you're someone that uses
them on a regular, would you really want someone
coming up to you with a chainsaw and just going...
Chainsawed. No, I know it's a chainsawed, but
it's the same fucking premise, isn't it? Yeah.
Yeah. It is. Fired. That's that then. Do you
know a fart lasts a day? If you shit yourself,
it lasts a lifetime. Huh? If you fart... Why
are you shitting yourself last night? Because
if I fart now... Yeah? You'll forget in a day.
If I shit myself now, you'll never ever forget
it. Yeah, possibly. You wouldn't forget the time
I sat in this chair and shat. You've just farted,
so now shit. No, because I've just pushed...
And then we'll test the theory. No, no. No, no,
because we'll make a mess. We'll leave you there
and Ash is going to poo in my chair. See you
later, everyone. Oh, on to the patron. Yeah,
where the good stuff is. See you later, everyone.