Many things have gone on in the last day, really.
Did you watch it? I did. Welcome to What's the
Buttons, a podcast about gaming and all that
other bollocks, where we're going to fill you
in on some very exciting stuff that happened
yesterday. Battlefield 6. How much of it did
you watch? Did you watch all of the showcase
thing and then the multiplayer? Reveal -y -weal
-y. Why are you shaking your head? I just watched
the trailer, which was about two, three minutes.
And then I watched loads of creators have played
it already. So I watched about 10, 15 minutes
of Jack Fragg's play. And yeah, it's just, when
I finished watching it, it was time to go to
bed. And as I got ready for bed and I pulled
my shorts down, there was a damp patch. Just
excitement. Yeah. I don't blame you. It looks
good. It does look good. Cheeky little cunts
because they obviously know that there's a movement
going on since 2042 of no pre -orders and that
has definitely, definitely turned some heads.
I might be one of them. Definitely. You know
what I mean? It looked crisp, man. It looked
real fucking good. The only bit that... The only
gripe that I have with it so far out of all the
gameplay I've watched and everything I've seen
is the sprint sliding needs to be slowed down.
I don't want any sprint sliding and I don't want
any... fucking dolphin diving I've resigned myself
to the fact that the sprint sliding is still
going to be in there but they need to they need
to tone that down because it's too fast the movement
is too quick it's not call of duty it doesn't
need to cater towards that and I feel like that
sprint sliding shit I've seen far too many streamers
from yesterday using that to just zip round corners
fucking pop people in the back of the head and
then zip back round it's too much it needs to
be toned down which from everything I've been
reading about that In the lab testing, that is
what was happening, was the sliding was getting
progressively nerfed in way of making it slower.
So that's the only thing that I would really
like to see. I've completely fucked off or seriously
toned down. Yeah, I think it needs to be very
much toned down, slowed down, all of the above.
It should be used only as a last resort to get
into cover if you're being peppered, not as an
option to fucking scoop out around the corner
and your ping's lower than their ping. It should
be used as a defensive purpose rather than offensive.
Because that's half the problem with Call of
Duty. I mean, yeah, all right, you can call it
a skill gap, but it's not. It's just abusing
mechanics, really. It's just, you know, your
ping's lower than mine. or my ping's lower than
yours, so I see you before you see me and stuff.
And there's always going to be that, regardless
if you've both got the same ping, still got to
send that data to and from. So the peak, it's
called peakers advantage, isn't it? Yeah. So
the person coming out always has the advantage.
And yeah, if you get good at that, it just, for
casual players like I am now and probably always
have been really, it just makes it unfun when
that stuff, because Battlefield's always been
like a tactical game. Whereas, like, you can
capture, like, an entire objective on your own.
If you set yourself a target and you can make
it where you can, like, hide in a corner, like,
scoop round and slowly take people out and people
can't fucking find where you are and you can
take a whole objective on your own and that feeling
of, like, being part of an entire war that you've
just, like... That's just a great feeling. But
if you're going to have it where people are popping
out around corners, it's just going to make it
too much like Call of Duty. Well, me and Steph
were watching it together and I don't think Steph's
seen all too much Battlefield gameplay in the
past. And she was asking, she was like, oh, is
it 4v4? And I was like, what do you mean? She
was like, well, 4v4. She was like, because of
the team. And I was like, obviously no, because
of the squad. in game so like explain that to
her i was like no like it's it's whatever it's
set to say whether it be 50 verse 50 100 100
whatever um i was like everyone has their own
individual four -man squad um that you can keep
in contact with i said it makes it a little bit
more like you just said tactical with it you
can have a have your own your own squad doing
what they need to do to to help the bigger objective.
It's far more objective based. And for me, I
find that so much more rewarding, so much more
fun. Yeah. Back in the day on Battlefield 4,
possibly Battlefield Hardline, I can't remember
it too much, but you remember the old conquest
game modes and they say sometimes they go on
for like 50 minutes to an hour. when that it'd
make you feel like especially when it got close
to the end like you you wanted to win because
you've been invested in it for the best part
of an hour yeah so for no reason other than to
win it's not like oh i need this for xp or i
need to unlock this or whatever i just want to
win because i'm invested in this battle that
we've had and the landscape's completely different
to the last time i played on this map because
that's been blown up and there's a hole in that
wall and yeah it's just more they were delving
big into destruction Real fucking showing off.
If you are actually able to do all the stuff
that they've showed off, then that's big boy
stuff, man. You can just blow off the front of
buildings and shit like that. I'm all for it.
I saw someone, they just threw a grenade down
into the ground and just made a crater. So then
they could then lay in that as cover. It just
looks so fucking cool. That's the way it should
be, man. There's a big market for that sort of
stuff because no one's really done it. Only real
Battlefield done it. I remember on PlayStation
1, there was a game called Red Faction when that
first came out. Red Faction. Used to be able
to do that on there. But other than Red Faction
and Battlefield, never really had destructive
environments. You had to do that in a competitive
multiplayer game. And you can grab onto tanks
and shit, man, right on the back of a phone.
Yeah, I see that. I've seen so many clips of
tank gameplay. And it just looks so crisp. It
looks so fucking good. I really can't wait. There
used to be people that used to solely play like,
oh, I'm a pilot. And they'd just get so good
at flying. They'd be in the plane pretty much
the whole game. You wouldn't get a go because
they were so good. But they were so good that
they could control a battlefield from being in
the air. Yeah, because being a pilot in Battlefield
is not easy. Really not fucking easy. Being skilled
at that is serious business. Did you watch the...
the hours worth of stream to get the early access.
No, I didn't know that was a thing. That was
a thing. I didn't know that. I think you may
have missed out on that. Yeah. It was... I think
you can get it if you pre -order it, can't you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you pre -order it. Let's
do that then. Money wins. I think it's on the...
Is it early access or beta access? It's early
access for the... Right. So from what I believe,
let me just try and find it quick. They're doing
early access for betas now. What a world we live
in. What the fuck is the date for it? Is it next
week? Did it give a release date? Yeah. The release
date is the 12th of, no, the 10th of October.
So it was right what I said last week. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. The sources come true. So what are
we? So we're... first of july so i'm pretty sure
it is the next week next week is when you get
the early access and then the beta is the following
weekend and then the following weekend after
that so you just get access to it a lot earlier
like i'm sure it'll be absolutely fucking flooded
um i hate betas and that though because it's
just shit you play it and you're like yeah i
love this let me continue to play it forever
And he's like, no, I've got to wait a few months.
The whole point of it is that everyone tests
it and sends people. I know they don't. You just
play it and go, I want more of this. Yeah, I
want more of that. But yeah, I watched an hour's
worth, so I've got my little code thing. Whether
it works or not, I've applied it to my EA account.
So we'll see. But yeah, massively excited, massively
tempted to... pre -order it but at the same time
is there any reason I saw they come out with
a with a new another edition I think it's like
a hundred quid and you just get skins and shit
I'm I'm not interested I spent a hundred quid
on the last one and it was a hundred pound I
remember and it's just fucking pissed me off
just what's the point they tried to go down the
fucking road of like Battlefield 2042 wanting
to be Apex Legends because they were going to
release new operators constantly Don't worry,
I've saved it. I was trying to move the mic up
a little bit. Yeah. There you go. They tried
to do the Apex Legends model and just release
operators to make money. And it just backfired
on them. So now they've gone back to what they
know. The class system. Because that was what
brought them success. Fucking love the cloud.
Because I feel like with the class system, that
gave you a purpose. on the battlefield. Especially
being something like an engineer. Well, all of
them. Engineer, support, assault. I didn't see
any defibs. Yeah. Was there? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw someone get dragged and stimmed, but I
never saw a defib. Yeah, there's a defib. I saw
a clip of it. I used to get kills with them,
man. In the support, yeah, yeah. And then the
blowtorch on the engineer. It's back where you
can repair the tanks and stuff like that. The
dragging mechanic seems quite cool and then you
can fucking send an adrenaline shot into them
and pick people back up and drag them around.
I think that's quite cool. I just like that they...
It's worked, isn't it? What they did yesterday
has worked because we won't be the only fuckers
sat around a podcast desk talking about this
shit and hyping it up. Everyone else looking
at it going, oh, Battlefield's back, blah, blah,
blah, blah. Because it does look on the surface
that it might be. Yeah, but it is back if they
do what they've said they're going to do. And
guess what? When you make a good game, people
love it. When you make a shit game that's entirely
around money, people are like... It's like they
had 2042 come out, all that hype, everyone was
excited, and then it just didn't. live up to
standards and it's almost like they've gone well
we had a whole catalogue of real decent shit
and then we've just let it slip so here we are
back with a vengeance this is where we're taking
this genre back which i think is what they will
do it really doesn't feel like I don't feel 2042
came out that long ago. It's pretty mental that
we're all getting the next one. I remember watching
the trailers with the tornadoes. Oh, I loved
it, man. It was a sick fucking trailer. I know.
I remember getting all gassed about it and then
pre -ordering it. It doesn't feel that long ago.
But then Call of Duty do a fucking game every
year, so why is it a surprise? Yeah. When was
that? Yeah, 2021 was when 2042 come out. That
was a long time ago. 2021. That's gone quick.
12th of November. That's gone quick. Real quick.
And that was so fun when it first came out as
well. It just didn't have any substance to it.
There were too many bugs. Very buggy. And there
just weren't enough content being added into
it and there wasn't enough variety on the maps.
You queue into a random standard fucking TDM
and then get the same map on the bounce for six
games in a row and you go, fucking hell, can
we just change this up, please? I remember there
being a fucking... deploy bug you'd get in a
map yeah yeah ages then you just couldn't deploy
yeah yeah couldn't yeah couldn't fucking deploy
and all you're deploying just instantly die yeah
you go right we'll redeploy again straight away
yeah there was a lot of issues with it man it
was it was ambitious and it flopped um but like
you say they're not releasing a game every fucking
year so they've had a lot of time to to build
in it and the graphics as well they look so good
Could have made Battlefront, though. It'll always
be a bit dirty to me, but I'll take it. I'll
take what I can get. It's like the Pro Evo and
the FIFA, isn't it? FIFA are like the kings of
football, but if you're a real football fan,
you want to play Pro Evo, because it's like real
football. And, yeah, Battlefield's like grown
-up shooters, whereas COD is for kids. Yeah,
pretty much. Pretty much. Yeah, I'm excited.
I'll probably pre -order it, I'm not going to
lie. Yeah, probably. That's it. Next. I don't
know. What do you want from me? What have I been
doing? What have you been doing? What do you
think I've been doing? Same thing I do every
week. Rematch. Rogue Trader. Still plodding along.
Yeah. How's the lower level? How's that going?
Oh, yeah. I can't remember where I left off last
week. I think I landed on the planet and got
an assassination attempt on my life. Yeah, you
had an assassination attempt on your life. You
were telling us about the lower level of the
ship being, well, pestilence was the word I believe
was used to describe the state of it. Yeah, scummy.
Pretty much. Yeah, and that you were in bed with
a chaos god. I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, standard. Yeah, no, carried on as usual.
Nothing much has changed. Landed on that planet,
made a few shady deals, killed a few people,
left that planet. And then I just went exploring
the stars for a while. Just went and explored
loads of solar systems. Explored some... Scary
places. Scary places. Got myself a flamethrower.
Nice. Yeah, that's cool. I like that. So now
I can burn people alive, which is fun. Have you
done much of that? Has that been a part of it?
Quite a lot. It's my go -to now. Because inherently,
I just use a sniper rifle. Because normally,
whenever I play a game like this, my character...
What, isn't your character... Is your character
a big hulking person? No? No, it's just a little
sniper geezer. Well, he's not a sniper. I've
given him a sniper rifle. Wait, what? So as the
rogue trader, you're a little scrawny fucker?
Well, you make your own character, don't you?
Yeah. I'm just a normal geezer. I don't know
why I had it in my head that you were like this
big, gargantuan... Well, a space marine is what
I sort of had in my head, just minus the armour.
No, no, no. That sort of stature. Just a normal
geezer. Kind of went for the Han Solo kind of
geezer. Yeah. He's a bit of a dog, like I say.
He's got a big scar down his face. He's got a
long ponytail. Oh, a long, greasy ponytail. Yeah,
filthy. He's like a pirate, but in space. Yeah.
That wasn't me trying to do a pirate. Yeah. But
yeah, whenever I play games like this, my character,
even though I'm the one that solely builds them,
stat -wise, always ends up being the most useless
one, and it annoys me. So I thought, well, if
I'm a sniper, I can't really fuck it up, because
I've just got to shoot people from distance.
So he's actually been really good. But yeah,
now I've specced into flamethrowers. And now
I get to burn people if they get close. I was
going to say, that's a weird crossover. I'm a
sniper, but my specialty is flamethrowers. Probably
one of the most close combat things you can use.
It's just if they get close. If you get close,
you get fucked. Because you can't fire a long
-range weapon if someone's one tile away from
you. If they're in melee range, you can't shoot.
So I needed something that was... Oh, well, you
were at disadvantage if that's the case. It just
doesn't let you shoot. You can't shoot. You have
to move the tile away. And like in D &D, if you
move the tile away, they get an attack opportunity.
Now I've got a flamethrower, I'll just burn the
bastard. Didn't want a shotgun? Flamethrower
will do. Burn it. I respect it. That's fair enough.
It's not as exciting as a shotgun. It's cool,
but not quite as fun as burning. Yeah, no, I'm
with you. What did I do? Yeah, I did some exploring
and then I've got into loads of ship battles.
So I've done a lot of that. Shooting spaceships
with my spaceship. That was fun. Is that about
it? No, I did land on another planet. And then...
So when you land on these planets... Yeah. I
don't know why I'm... Because I've seen so little
of Road Trader. It's obviously not like No Man's
Sky landing on planets and exploring around.
So you land and that puts you in a predetermined
area? So you go into a solar system. You have
to try and navigate a warp first because the
warp's like the bad stuff. That's where all the
bad stuff lives. Yeah, it's dangerous. And then
you see like there's loads of planets or derelict
ships. You'll fly to them and then you scan them
and then it'll come up with, oh, there's a settlement
here you can land at or here's some minerals
you can mine or whatnot. So if there's somewhere
to land, I'll land and have a little look. So
I've done a lot of random landings that I haven't
really got much to talk about, but I think the
latest one I landed. Basically, the planet that
I landed on previously, where I had the assassination
attempt, I made a deal with the governor of that
planet to provide them with food. because in
warhammer lore you have different planets so
you have like a a planet that is solely for harvesting
food and vegetables and stuff like that and then
you have like forge worlds which are solely for
making stuff and they're all just different things
like an agriculture world so it's agri world
forge world they all do different things as a
rogue trader you have your own planets that you
through the dynasty have acquired and i have
a planet called janus i think Which I've inherited
as the rogue trader. And that's an agricultural
planet. So I agreed with this. The governor of
this planet. That I'll help provide him with
food. Because I haven't got much. But obviously
there was a lot of. A lot of intricacies. There's
a lot of deals to be done. He's like. He's like.
What do you want? Basically. And I said. Crawl
over. And beg on your knees. And he did. I crawled
over and begged on his knees, which was quite
amusing to me. That was an option, yeah? Yeah.
So I was like, all right, cool. But then I also
get loads of stuff. So I'm going to get loads
of stuff, which I like stuff. What do you have
to give him in return? Food. So just food? Yeah,
just food. But then the other rogue traders,
which I haven't met yet, have also been offered
a deal with him. but their terms are not really
fair, that he doesn't like them, yadda, yadda,
yadda. So I'm just like, well, I'll one -up the
other rogue traders. And I found out this geezer's
also involved in trading of Xenos equipment,
which is alien stuff, which is prohibited. You're
not allowed to do that. But I'm a rogue trader.
I'll be like, yeah, don't worry, just cut me
in, baby. Cut me in. So I got myself some alien
guns and shit. Yeah, gimme, gimme, gimme. So,
yeah, I'm on my way to Janos, which was in another
solar system, to agree with that, which is my
planet, to agree with the governor that runs
it, to then provide food to this planet. So then
the deal is solidified. So when I landed on Janos,
guess what happened? Everyone was like, oh, it's
the rogue trader. You've come home. Welcome back.
And then someone tried shooting me again. There's
always fucking going on here. so i murdered all
of them and then went to see the planets well
you murdered all of them yeah well anyone that
attacked me yeah yeah and then i went to see
the planet's governor and she was like oh yeah
we've had trouble with these rebels bloody fucking
blah and i was like look i'll deal with it but
until then you're under arrest i'll decide what
to do with you after so i've arrested her so
so you've landed on this planet yep This planet
is a crucial part to the overall trade link deal
that you've got going on. Yep. Which is also
crucial to your little black market Xenos deal.
Yeah, that no one knows about. That no one knows
about, but it's crucial to it. You've landed
and yet again, someone... What did they do? Just
shoot at you? When you land, what happens then?
So you land and everyone's like, oh my God, Daddy,
you're home. Pretty much. And then what? Giza
just goes, I don't like you. Bang, bang, bang.
Someone came to meet me. I was like, welcome,
rogue trader. Welcome back. Yadier, I'll take
you to the governor or whatever. And then someone
just shot him in the back of the head. I was
like, what the fuck? So I killed everyone that
started all this fight, ended up in a big fight.
And then Giza come running down the stairs. And
was like, I can't believe this has happened.
I'm so sorry that this has happened on your arrival,
blah, blah, blah. And naturally, the options
were, oh, don't worry. You know, thanks for coming
back. Or just shoot him. So I shot him. Oh, right.
So your participation and everything is inadequate.
The bit that, I mean, so you lead a massive ship.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Colonies on that ship.
There's areas that you may never even see. Oh,
yeah, for sure. It's huge. A utopia on wheels.
Well, hover things. And this is now twice that
you've landed somewhere and then had an assassination
attempt. Foiled, mind you, but an attempt nevertheless.
Security, is that a thing that you can have?
Can you do that? I've got a contingency with
me at all times. What do you mean? So you've
got someone that will just replace you when you're
dead? No, no, no. I've got a whole rapscallion
crew with me, haven't I? So why don't they do
anything to prevent this type of... Well, they
do. They're with me at all times. My formation
is me in the middle, my senchao at the front,
and I've got just warriors and that surrounding
me at all times. Whenever I'm walking, I'm surrounded.
No one can just shoot me. They'd have to shoot
the people in front or around me. I'm not on
my own. But the problem lies with, you know,
people just taking pop shots. Eventually one's
going to slip through the net. Yeah, no, I understand
that. So everyone died. Everyone's dead. Retribution
has been rung. It's been dished out. And everyone
suffered. So you've then gone to the, who was
the woman? The governess. The governess. Or the
governor, but she's female. The governess of
this world. Yeah, there was an alien sniping
as well, which is weird because the Imperium
of man don't like aliens. It's against the emperor's
name to converse with aliens. But there was an
alien shooting. Does that get any sort of looking
into? The bad guys. No, they shoot the bad guys.
So before I arrested her, I said, who's the alien?
And she was like, I don't like her, but... She's
a good shot. I was like, I will speak with her.
Oh, what, she was shooting for the Imperium?
Yeah, she was helping out. So, so you've now
arrested her? Yeah, I've arrested the governor.
What, any... I haven't decided what I'm going
to do with it. Any ideas, though? Yeah, just
death. Oh, it is going to be just death? Yeah,
it's probably just death. Yeah. I'll see what
happens. Yeah. Because I've got to go, that's
what I'll do tonight, but I've got to go deal
with the rebels. I went and spoke to the alien
woman. Sniper girl. There's no chance of release
here for this governess? Probably not. Probably
not. Let's be honest. Corvus is quite cold -hearted.
I mean, he's been taken over by the fucking chaos
gods, isn't he? Yeah, but I mean... He hasn't
got a say in it. Yeah, but you can't just go
through killing everything and everyone. Well,
yeah, because it's heretical, isn't it? That's
what I am. I'm a heretic. Yeah, but you're not
stupid. No, well, no. There's no benefit to keep...
I am not. But he is because he's been taken over.
Yeah, but you're controlling him. Yeah, but he's
been taken over. So any choice that is like,
yeah, do the evil thing, because he's been taken
over, which has actually happened, I'm not making
that up. I made a deal with a fucking deity or
whatever it was right at the beginning of the
game. So now naturally I feel like I have to
tease it. So let's ignore all of that. It's you
as... Corvus hasn't been taken. I would never
have arrested her. Not her fault. So you wouldn't
have done that? No, no, no. Playing now. Playing
as me, I would do none of these horrible things.
Okay, okay. But let's say, not as you, still
as Corvus, but you haven't sworn fealty to a
chaos god. Yeah. Do you think that Corvus would
still arrest her? And then subsequently kill
her. He wouldn't kill her. He wouldn't kill her.
He would leverage it. He'd leverage it. Smart.
Corvus seems smart. So because Corvus, the character
that you made, has pledged allegiance to a chaos
god. Who he hasn't met yet. Who he hasn't met
yet. But you did it as the player. Yes. So even
though you could and you would. allow the governess
to stay alive you won't allow that to happen
because Corvus has pledged allegiance to a chaos
god which is something that you did as the player
and have full control over what happens you're
just that deep in the role play that you go well
I would do this Corvus would do this but Corvus
has been taken over so the unholy Corvus wouldn't
do this, so therefore I can't do this. 100 %
correct. I have all them thoughts. That's exactly
how it goes. I'd be like, I don't want to do
these horrible things. Is that how it goes? So
you've approached her, the conversation goes,
whatever, and you're at the point where you have
the option where you can arrest this woman and
take her away and do whatever. So before you
press that button, I'd imagine that when the
prompts come up, they're not timed? No. So you
have as much thinking time as you want. And so
that's the process that goes on in your head.
So you sit there and you go, me as Ash, I wouldn't
touch her. Yeah, for sure. And then me as Corvus,
let's arrest her and then leverage her. And then
you go, well, hold on, but Corvus isn't Corvus,
is he? Exactly. I've let him get taken over by
someone else. So what would that person do? And
then you pick between the three of who wins that.
Nailed it. So it's a mental battle between three
separate entities all wrapped into one. It's
crazy when you put it like that. It's mad. The
trouble is, you've got to remember that Corvus'
background is he was born on a death world. Yeah.
He fought very hard to craft a life for himself,
became a smuggler. Is a death world just... It's
just a horrible place. Just everything's death.
It's just disgusting. I wonder if I can Google
that. He carved a life out for himself. He'd
become a notorious smuggler, then leaded a very
successful crime syndicate, then got caught and
tortured. All these things have consequences.
So it'll be like something will happen. Like,
this brings back memory of your torture. The
torture that I foretold in my building of the
character comes up in blue writing. So then I,
now all of a sudden I have like minus 10 perception
forever. Because something had, you know, reignited
that thought in me. So it all matters. But so,
yeah, Corvus, prior to dealing with that, was
already a bit of a criminal scumbag. But he had
morals. He just made a life for himself. That
was the only life he could make. And then became
quite a successful criminal. You played with
the cards that you were dealt. Exactly. So then,
but he still wasn't a shithead. He was more of
a space Robin Hood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd take
from the rich and give to himself, really. Yeah,
yeah. Which is still, that's fine. Yeah. Because
you were poor at one point. In Warhammer world,
that's probably quite a noble thing to do. Probably.
But then, obviously, when he became, when the
Rogue Trader mantle got dropped on his head,
which he's a long -lost relative of fucking Theodore
of Von Valancius. um which is now that's his
name now corvus crow von valancius um so yeah
now when he got announced to come on the ship
corvus crow von valancius valancius so he comes
on this ship gets loads of shit happens and that
and then you get to a crossroads and it's like
well i don't know what the option is um when
you don't choose it but a day he assumes the
previous rogue traders uh appearance and says
look if you make a deal with me then I'll get
you out of this very perilous situation that
you find yourself in. Or just burn in hell, basically.
Yeah, but what was perilous about it? You were
a rogue trader. Yeah, but it was like the ship
was falling apart. There was fire everywhere.
I think he stopped me from dying. Oh, so pestilence
is the best option there. I can't remember what.
Something bad was happening, and it basically
says, look, I'll help you through this terrible
situation if you do whatever. And so I did that.
And now, yeah, I've got a fucking entity in my
fucking brain. And so, yeah. It's controlling
her. Essentially, yeah. I've got, in Warhammer
40 ,000, a death world. Obviously, I know you
know, but it's a planet where the environment,
flora, and fauna are so hostile and dangerous
that they actively try to kill any humans attempting
to inhabit it. These planets are often characterized
by deadly creatures, toxic environments. or extreme
weather conditions, making widespread settlement
extremely challenging. Despite the dangers, Death
Worlds can be valuable to the Imperium due to
their resources, unique materials, and the hardy
individuals they produce. Hence, a rogue trader.
Yeah, so he's pretty badass, really, but obviously
he's made this deal. Where did you come from?
I come from Earth, Mars, Death World. Death World.
Death World. So he's pretty tough. So ultimately,
the point of this conversation, she's going to
die. I'd say almost certain. Will there be leveraging
in between that or just straight, I don't need
your death? There might be some pretend leveraging.
Be like, yeah, I want this. And then she dies
anyway. There's a thing that I kind of, Corvus
kind of liked, where it was like, evil Corvus,
the governor of the planet that I made the deal
with to then supply him with the vegetables.
He's, what is it called? It's like an actual
term that we use in day -to -day society, but
put into his context, he said he used to catch
criminals and then throw them out of an airlock,
and then they'd slowly float around the ship
or the planet, essentially, or whatever it was,
and then he'd go out every few years. And just
add to the thing. It'd just be like a constant
circle of just scumbags. Just dead bodies. Circle
the perimeter. Yeah, and he'd be able to tell
how long they were out there for by how frozen
they were. I can't remember. Sent for a loop,
I think it was, he said. I wish I could send
them ribbons for a loop. And then he explained
what that meant. And I was just like, oh, that's
funny. So maybe that'll happen to her if that's
an option. I don't know. Whatever it is, whatever
the worst option is, you can bet that naughty
Corvus... I just love the idea of this Corvus
person who's... Made a deal with the devil, chatting
to a geezer who runs a planet, and you're going,
I'll give you some carrots and some parsley.
Alien guns? Swap seats? Yeah. Yeah? But you've
got to crawl and beg. Yeah, you crawl and beg
for me, and then just looking up over your shoulder
this day, you're going, good with that? Yeah?
The trouble is... Give him the aubergines? One
of my favourite companions that I've got so far
is called Henrix von Kallet, I think his name
is. Yeah. He's just fucking badass, man. He's
got like curtains. He's handsome. Got a big fucking
sword. Chiseled jawline. And he's just... I first
met him, he was just torturing someone. But he's
so cold with it. He's like, you will tell me
what I want to know. And that's it. And I was
just like, yeah, that's my guy. Because he's
an inquisitor, which is like... Basically a paladin.
Yes, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. He
works for the Inquisitorial or Inquisitorium.
I don't know what they call it. So he's like
James Bond. He's got the license to do whatever
the fuck he wants. But they are like very anti
-alien Xenos. Everything for the Emperor. But
I'm doing all this shady shit and he's got his
eye on me. And there's like this fucking shard
of like alien shit that got found in the previous
Rogue Trader. I found another one and he was
saying, oh, didn't happen to find a shard of
alien shit. And I was like, no, I don't think
I did. I guess your search ends here. And he's
like, hmm. So he knows something's up. He's part
of my party. So when I spoke to the alien sniper
woman and recruited her, he was like, I don't
like this bitch. And I said, shut it, Henricks.
Yeah. But he's like, I will let the Inquisitorium
know about this. Do whatever you fucking want
to do, mate. So it's kind of like, I love him.
Yeah, yeah. It's a weird, you've got a weird
relationship. Two powerful people that are not
prepared. It's the, what is it, the immovable
object meets the unstoppable force. That's it.
That's the one. Yeah. And he is tough. So you've
got a geezer who's an inquisitor. So like you
say, licensed to do and say whatever the fuck
he wants. Comes up against a rogue trader kind
of in the same boat. Yeah. And they both exercise
that right. Yeah. Well, they do say that rogue
traders can operate outside the usual tenants.
So they can. deal with xenos and stuff if it's
in the advantage if it's for the right reasons
whereas corvus you know he's a cunt i'm gonna
tell the inquisition on you go fucking go on
yeah do it well look at this alien sniper rifle
go do it you're still gonna be here tomorrow
yeah exactly you'll still be back here at nine
in the morning wouldn't you yeah clocking in
ready to go So just shut your mouth and crack
on. But who knows where the story may take us.
There might be a path for redemption. There might
be a chance where Corvus manages to squeeze this
from his brain. There won't be. Because I know
you won't allow there to be either. Well, it
depends what the option is and then what scenario
it happens. I might really bang his head and
then he'd be like, oh, you've got the chance
to release the demon. I'd be like, yeah, that
makes sense because he's hit his head. Yeah.
Insomnia and that. He's hit his head. Get rid
of it. So, yeah, who knows where the story's
going to take us, but I'm excited. I just love
it. It's all headcanon to me. Next up is Darth
Vader. That's who I'm really looking for. What
do you mean? Well, in my head, they're in the
same universe. They just haven't met. So Anakin's
out there somewhere. Do you want me to Google
that? No, it's definitely not. I think Star Wars
is even set in fucking... Can Darth Vader...
Oh, you want to see if he can beat a Space Marine,
not a fucking Rogue Trader. Rogue Trader's just
normal. Yes, Darth Vader could potentially exist
within the Warhammer 40 ,000 universe. Oh, don't
turn me on. Though his role and impact would
depend on how he enters the setting and how his
powers interact with the established law, he
could be integrated as a powerful individual
within the Imperium, potentially even gaining
political power, or he could become a force of
his own, potentially even leading a new faction.
Would you like the possible scenarios? We have...
integration into the imperium given his brutal
militaristic and authoritarian nature Darth Vader
could easily fit into the imperium of man he
could offer his blade as a battle -hardened warrior
and work his way up to a position of power within
the imperium He could make a new faction. Vader's
pride and ambition could lead him to establish
his own sect, drawing on elements from various
factions like Chaos, Orcs, and Tau. T -A -U,
Tau. A powerful individual. Vader's strength,
lightsaber skills, and force abilities could
make him a formidable opponent, even against
space marines or other powerful Forticate enemies.
Yeah. Well, he's the Chaos. is essentially the
dark side in star wars so it's where all the
bad shit is so where the way it works is when
ships hyper travel hyper drive whatever like
you do in no man's sky so obviously you can just
boost but then you can like through the stars
when you do that you travel through the warp
And in the warp is where all the bad shit is.
Chaos shit. The chaos can just grab you out,
turn people crazy, whatever. So it's always a
risk when you warp travel. So Darth Vader being
not Anakin and Vader, you'll probably draw on
some of that chaos energy. Pledge himself to
some sort of demon god like Angron or something.
Trying to find... Basically, people trying to
compare what would Darth Vader be. in the 40k
universe, what would his standards be up to?
He'd be one of the top dogs. Someone said, wouldn't
he just be a comparatively extremely alpha level
Psyker? He would be a champion of chaos for sure,
but it wouldn't mean he solos the universe. Still
would go toe -to -toe with most Space Marine
librarians and would win most 1v1s. Unless the
random Space Marine you never heard. happens
to appear in a novel and has a name, then he
doesn't stand a chance against them. Nah. There's
no way Vader loses to a space marine. There's
no way. Someone said Vader already beats all
but like two people in the universe. Every scenario
puts him on top. Really? I watched Darth Vader,
not myself, on the TV screen. I watched him in
not even the peak of his power, but up there.
fucking pull a star destroyer. One of the big
triangle looking fucking ships. I saw him pull
it out of the fucking space with the force. Stopped
it from fucking moving. Where's the clip of that?
I've only ever seen him do it with the, is it
the Falcon? I think he tries to stop the Falcon.
But that was, that was, yeah, that was, he wasn't
at the peak of his powers then. But yeah, at
the peak, mate, he is like, You ain't fucking
with him, bro. He could just crack your neck
just by looking at you. There's no, you're not
fucking with him. But the part, the reason he's
not, there's still some light in him, man. He's
not all bad. I know he killed kids and that,
but. Yeah. But that was. But we've all, we've
all done bad things. You know what I mean? Everyone's
made forgivable mistakes. And I just feel like
that's. You know what I mean? It's always made
me laugh when, just as Anakin is turning to the
dark side and he marches on the Jedi temple and
then the younglings are like, Master Anakin,
thank God you're here. And then he's like, and
you're like, oh man, that's dark. So obviously
you don't see it, but he kills the kids. Yeah.
But at the end, obviously these were made before.
That. So then Luke Skywalker's like, oh, you
are my dad. You can't be redeemed. And it's like,
oh, can he? He's pretty bad. He's pretty bad,
man. It's pretty hardcore. A bunch of little
kids have gone, oh, thank God you're here. And
you just go. Yeah. And there's a big time period
of where no one knows what Vader was up to. I
mean, there's a lot of books and stuff like that.
But yeah, the stuff that you've seen him do in
like Obi -Wan Kenobi series and shit, where he's
just like walking through the street looking
for Obi -Wan. Some geezer comes out and as he
runs towards him, he's just like. snaps his neck
another in he just like fucking grabs this geezer
and just force pulls him along the fucking thing
and just burns him alive he's just a he's just
fucked up man I think the orcs would like him
yeah they'd be very intrigued by someone like
Darth Vader yeah but I don't think Vader would
like the orcs because they're just mushrooms
they just grew from mushrooms yeah but they're
like the smartest species there what orcs yeah
no they're dumb as fuck Yeah, but are they? Are
they, though? Because if they had just a little
bit of tenacity... They're mushrooms, bro. Yeah,
but they're mega, aren't they? Vader would lead
like... I don't know if Vader would lead, but
they'd be fucking hard. Whatever he led, everything
else would lose. Especially Chaos Space Marines.
They're like evil space marines. Imagine that.
He'd just take over the world, he is. Like my
boys. Darth Vader, leader of the world eaters.
Yeah, I'm the leader of the world eaters at the
moment. I'm glad that there's a little crossover
there with people that have come across that.
Well, my headcanon is they exist, but they're
not in the same star system. They're out there
living their lives. But Darth Vader, yeah, obviously
he wins all for me. There we go. I played two
games. I know, I saw one of them. Very strange.
Which one? Fucking some trucking game. I was
like, what is that? And then I looked in the
store, I was like, what? I finished Nobody Wants
to Die. Oh, yeah, nice. And that was decent.
About eight hours worth of story. And yeah, yeah,
a good story. It's your... You're set in a world,
obviously we spoke about it because I'd started
it last pod, where nobody can die. Your consciousness
can be put into another body and basically bodies
are just recycled. And what this has led to is
the elite of the elite, obviously one in the
creme de la creme of bodies, and slowly pushing
out. lower class people um there's a subscription
service that's basically been made mandatory
that you have to pay oh that's insurance yeah
basically um and it's getting more and more expensive
and the the age um requirement for that is being
lowered and lowered and lowered so basically
there's just more bodies are being taken um off
the streets and uh given to rich people so the
premise of the story is uh you're a detective
um and you're trying to work out a string of
murders um people in the elite sector are slowly
being offed and you're trying to work out who
the murderer is what their motives are and everything
like that so it takes you on this on this story
uh of detective work where you look at crime
scenes and and investigate and go through scenarios
and work shit out and uh i'm really really like
glossing over it i'm sure you could find a youtube
video that will sum it all up in about 20 minutes
but basically um turns out that at the end there's
different endings i got the worst one naturally
standard uh the evil one pretty much but it um
turns out that you're going mental because you
were recently put into another body. And one
of the side effects of basically the more and
more you're put into a new body, the more crazy
you go. And this is like the fourth time you've
been put into another body. So you're getting
like this desynchronization sickness thing. Basically
means you hear voices and you see things. So
the people that are being murdered aren't actually
being murdered. they're all going through the
same shit that you're going through and they're
just slowly killing themselves. But because you're
going mental, it all looks like there's a string
of murders going on. And yeah, you've got this
constant voice in your head and it is the murderer.
And that's basically who you're trying to work
out, who this person is the entire time. And
yeah, at the very end, I basically just... killed
everyone important without realizing there was
there was this woman at the end um who she uh
she might she was in it was a different woman
that was in like my wife's body who had passed
away um and i couldn't work out whether it was
me being mental or if this was actually a woman
in front of me so i decided to shoot her before
she become a threat and it turns out that she
was in fact um an actual woman in front of me
that was quite imperative to the story. But what
it meant is that we could finally die and be
laid to rest. I mean, really butchered the entire
story, but it was like a fiver. It was good.
I enjoyed it. Just quickly scrub that over. If
you want to, Nobody Wants to Die is the title
of the game. I'd recommend it for a quick fucking...
A couple of hours. Decent story to it. The other
game that I was playing, Mud Runners. Mud Runners,
that's it? Yeah. For a very long time, I've always
looked at Snow Runner and Mud Runner and thought,
they look somewhat interesting. I like big heavy
-duty machinery. Big diesel shit. Always looks
cool. Basically, this is just a simulator for...
that sort of stuff so mud runner is a heavy machinery
simulator um about being in like a swamp and
navigating navigating the terrain and picking
up logs and dropping them off at lumber mills
and shit like that and managing your vehicles
and towing things and and all stuff like that
and it's got really good physics uh and goes
in depth with like being able to lock the differential
set it to four boring shit that people would
think yeah this is this is waft and it was going
quite cheap and i thought fuck it i'll buy it
and see what the crack is oh it's just a it's
just a brain switch off but not you know what
i mean it's a real easy going getting a motor
get stuck in the mud i had two chimney fucking
trucks with me two little four by fours getting
them up a mountain one was on a tow line behind
me when you do when you do that you can set it
so that You can either pull the vehicle with
you or it will mimic what you're doing. So it
will turn its engine on. And when you drive in
forwards, it will go forwards and reverse and
stuff like that. And basically just give you
a bump up and shit. Oh, it's good fun, man. I
was putting like six lorries in one go. with
one lorry that sounds realistic I had a lorry
no these are big boy lorries these are big like
Soviet fucking lorries so I had this I had this
wham no lorries pulling six lorries yeah no yeah
this is a wham I can't remember the name of it
because it tells you this is wham fucking lorry
with about 20 wheels on the thing and then it
was towing another lorry that had a lorry sat
on top of it which had a van sat on top of that
and that was towing another thing behind it But
because I had it set to... So when I was driving
forwards, the motor that was attached to me was
also switched on and fucking pulling. So we had
double the power. It's just fucking... But I'm
shit at reversing trailers in real life. I'm
shit at doing it in a simulator as well. For
about half an hour, there was this challenge
I was doing where... let's get from one point
to the next touring a load of shit and then at
some point halfway through there's uh there's
a a truck that's submerged in the water and i
couldn't i can pull it out and it was one of
the challenges you didn't have to do it and i
drove past it and i'm i'm basically a fucking
locomotive train at this point there's so many
things attached to me so i pulled up alongside
it and it's right out in the water so i was like
i need to work out how to get to this So I detached
everything, set everything up in a line. And
I was like, all right, okay. So I got my longest
lorry and then tried to reverse it into the water.
It weren't long enough. So I then went back and
then attached the second longest lorry to that
lorry as a trailer set up and thought, well,
let's have a look. I spent a good half an hour
trying to reverse that fucking lorry as a trailer
into that water. It weren't long enough. It weren't
long enough and it got stuck. So I had to go
and get another lorry to pull that one out. And
you can play that online as well. Just your buddies
just fucking shit up, getting stuck in the mud.
Would you not want like, what is it, Euro Truck
Simulator or something? Yeah, but that's just
driving. You can fit out your motors with all
different shit. So my one at the moment has a
big old crane on it. They can just go and pick
up logs and just throw them on the band. You
have to operate the crane as well. Don't do that
automatically. You've got a proper... Drop that
in proper. Go and drop it off. Oh, shit. I've
run out of fuel. Let me swap over to the other
motor. That is equipped to go and pick up a load
of fuel. So then we go and pick up fuel, go back
to that motor, fuel that, and then that one can
carry on. I feel like... Well, I was looking
a while ago at getting that... farm simulator
that looks like that scratching itch in my brain
there's something about simulators that does
that and i'm telling you this little thing about
driving trucks through the mud through the swamp
at night headlights are on oh and there's a little
geezer in the cockpit oh and he's fucking steering
the wheel because he got stuck in the mud oh
it's right laugh I love it, man. It's great.
It's fucking great. I've always been interested
in the farm simulator where you have to plant
your crops, grow your crops, harvest your crops,
sell your eggs and fucking all that shit. It's
hard. It's hard, man. It's just like... I feel
like Mudrunner is at its... Not basic, but it's
the easiest out of all the simulators I've ever
dabbled in. It's the easiest one to get used
to because it's so simple. Get some reviews up,
man. Let's see what the people are saying about
MudRunner. MudRunner. Let's see what Steam says.
Because, you know, whilst we are a gaming podcast,
we're terrible at telling people what they are.
So you let the clever people on Steam. I mean,
people are playing Slay the Spire because of
us. That's true. It's very true. He's still playing
it. I see him playing it again the other day.
He loves it, the Slay. I forget that I've got
it on my PlayStation Plus as well. I just don't
have PlayStation Plus. I mean, you could have
it for literally a fiver on your phone, which
is the best place to play it. Here we go. Mudrunner.
Bosh. Bosh. It's done it again. Mudrunner is
the ultimate off -road experience, putting the
players in the driver's seat and dares them to
take charge of incredible all -terrain vehicles
venturing across extreme Siberian landscapes
with only a map and a compass as guides. Bosh.
Very positive reviews. I'll have you know. Best
mudding game in the world. Better than even the
snowing game. It helped lead to my favourite
driving games, Roadcraft and SnowRunner. So while
MudRunner is still a good game in itself, I really
prefer the sequels. Gameplay loop is super basic
and bland. It's just log deliver, but it's fun
pushing old Soviet trucks to the limit. Took
me six tries. to complete the first delivery.
Once went without a log bed, so just drive for
no reason. Only problem is path finding could
at least update to road once you drove on it.
Other than that, it's a fun game. Highly recommend
this game to anyone who liked mod capability
and a fairly advanced physics engine. At least
when it comes to the vehicle physics, different
blah, blah, blah. It's not the game I would play
for like five hours straight, but for downtime,
it's amazing. Great graphics, great mechanics,
long play style, and the fact that it incorporates
so many features from the real world. See, that's
what I looked at it for, was not a game to sit
there for 10 hours of a day fucking logging and
hauling mud. Yes, I got it just to fuck around
with, and that's exactly what it is. It's a game
that I can mess around with. But like I just
said, there's also SnowRunner, so lorries in
the snow, basically. There's also Roadcraft,
which is where you're a demolitionist pretty
much for roadworks, tearing down bridges and
shit like that and navigating through. This might
open up a new kink. You know what I mean? Really
cool off -road game. Overall pretty relaxing
until your truck flips. That kept happening to
me. Two trucks taking them up a mountain and
one kept stalling and I kept spinning around
thinking, why does this keep stalling? It's upside
down. But there is no flip button. You have to
go and winch that fucker. So you have to go and
navigate halfway back down the mountain, winch
it over to then just have the exact same thing
happen again and again and again and again and
again. And then your truck's damaged to the point
where it doesn't work. Get another truck that
can repair a utility vehicle. Bring that up.
Repair it. Get rid of the utility vehicle. Truck
flips again. Winch it out again. rinse and repeat
for a couple of hours and then go to bed. Yeah,
man. Yeah. It's every diesel man's dream. I can
see that scratching the bitches. And that's that.
If you like mud runners, if that sounds interesting,
everyone, then get that. Yeah. And that's it.
That does sound interesting. It's not my cup
of tea. I do like Farming Simulator. The idea
of that tickles my pickle. Farming Simulator
was on PlayStation Plus not long ago. Yeah, I
think I've got it. Like I say, it's just one
of them. I feel like I have to be right in the
mood and focused. I get it. You're in your space
age, not your farming age. Yeah, exactly. I understand.
Give me a spaceship simulator and we'll over
it. I'm with you. Over to the Patreon. Where
the good shit is. See you later, everyone. Oro.
Oro.