That'll do. We're going to have to get Stephanie,
aren't we? This is not good. I don't think I
can look at you. You're a fat bald head. You
ain't got a choice. Yeah, this is a new voice
on the podcast. Oh, we're starting, aren't we?
Yeah. My bald head's the intro. Oh, Mark Mannes
is filling in. It feels weird. I don't know why.
We've been friends for well over a decade. 15
years or whatever. This is not going to be a
good episode. It's long overdue, I think. This
is not going to be good. Both gamers. Yeah. One
of us is bald. One of us is bald. Oh, God. This
is going to be a long one. This is going to be
a 45 -minute and delete. What are we doing? The
main or the Patreon? Do the main. Fuck it. Might
as well give them Summit. Yeah, brilliant. Summit
before the good ideas are gone. Fuck. You ain't
done a lot of gaming. I ain't done a lot of gaming
in the last however long. What you have been
playing, which is fucking good, is Ghost of Tsushima.
Me and Mark are different when it comes to gaming.
I don't really give a fuck about trophies or
anything like that, whereas you quite like to
get a platinum. Yeah. How many platinums you
got now? 20, 25, something like that. Which is
just fucking, in my world, that's just ridiculous.
It's not that impressive, really. Is it not?
No. Because you're part of a group that posts
all their platinums and shit like that. Yeah,
yeah. There's people that put in hundreds and
hundreds of platinums. 25 is a very rookie number.
One of the ones that was... I was finding quite
impressive until you fucking give up. I know
what you're going to say. Red Dead Redemption
2. That drained the life out of me. I had to
give up. Over 150 hours I think I put into that
and I'll still have probably another 100 to put
in. That many? Yeah. Is that because of the online
trophies? Yeah. I think I've done. all the story
trophies it was just online that's such a fucking
cheeky thing to do because I don't know if the
GTA 5 platinum includes online yeah it does I've
never tried it because I think it's only been
the last probably three four years that I've
gone for platinums maybe even less I'm not too
sure see I didn't i'm so out of the loop on that
i didn't even realize that the the hidden trophies
on the fucking list that you can press square
to reveal yeah i didn't know you could do that
yeah you can also before you click on the game
if you go and like where all your trophies are
you can uh press like the select button like
start button yeah and you can like select reveal
all before you go into the list and it shows
you everything can i see it on my app will it
does it show up on the playstation yeah it shows
you on there you see how pathetic my trophy list
is whereabouts is all of that I don't really
understand why you haven't bothered to platinum
anything, because you've definitely got games
that you're close to platinum in. I really don't
know. I really don't know. I just can't... Let
me see if I can... Yeah, if you click on, say,
look, Ghost of Tsushima, just press there, and
at the bottom it says review all. I did not know
that. How ridiculous is that? You also get hints
on PlayStation now, don't you? Do I? Yeah, I
don't know if you can look at it on the app,
but... When you're on it, if you click on it,
it will come up with hints. I don't know what
button it is. And it will show you... Probably
triangles. Like a video. Maybe like someone that's
done it. It gives you a fucking video for it.
Yeah, it'll show you like where something is.
Wow. Yeah, I'm just so not... I don't know why
I'm not interested. Because I know a lot of people
do it as like a nod to the developers. I know
Ash does that. Where if they think a game's really
good, they'll platinum it. Yeah, I think so.
I've done everything. Pretty much the same. There's
the odd game that I've just platinum because
it was easy, like Assassin's Creed Mirage. I
thought it was a pretty shit game, but it was
a really easy platinum. It was like an extra
four or five hours or something, so it was just
worth doing. Yeah. Because you're going for the
Ghost of Tsushima. Yeah, yeah. I just haven't
played in the last week or two. Is that a hard
one? No. No, it's a very easy one. Tsushima Platinum.
Oh, it has a difficulty rating. yeah yeah it
tells you rarity and all that roadmap and all
that shit wow yeah it's an easy one like because
obviously collectibles in game are a very big
thing for Platinums and Ghost of Tsushima you've
only got to get say 20 artifacts instead of the
full 100 and stuff like that what was it Assassin's
Creed 2 wasn't it with the feathers yeah I've
got the Assassin's Creed 2 Platinum have you
yeah fucking hell I think that and Mirage are
the only two that I've actually got what's the
most difficult Platinum trophies. I think Fortnite's
the... Fortnite? Yeah, you have to put like a
thousand hours into it. Let's have a look at
what this list has. The Stanley Parable. Red
Dead's definitely up there. It's a 0 .1 % of
people that have platinumed it. Call of Duty
Black Ops 3. Monster Hunter World. Ghosts and
Goblins. I don't think this is a very in -depth...
I don't think this is a good list. Rank your
hardest Platinums. Here we go. Reddit's always
a decent one. I have 17. So I'll rank them all
here. No, I'm not going with you. Had enough
already. See, none of these... Wolfenstein 2,
Hollow Knight, The Evil Within. Yeah, Wolfenstein's
meant to be a hard one. I have heard that, to
be fair. Aliens, Fireteam, Elite. I can't rank
all 420 I have currently. See, I told you. But
I will choose top five. Hollow Knight is number
one. Plague, Dead Nation, Puppeteer, and then
Blasphemous. I don't know what... I've never
heard of any of them. Fall Guys. When I got this,
I didn't know that there was a glitch for the
five wins, so I got it legit, and it's by far
the most difficult thing I've ever done in gaming.
Very proud of this one. From Fall Guys. What
was that? Oh, that was the... When you were like
the fucking jelly bean. Yeah, everyone got extremely
good at it, didn't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We
played it quite a lot. Yeah, I think I had one
or two wins when we played it. It was a good
game, though. That was one of them COVID games,
wasn't it? Yeah, bang it out for a month and
then disappeared. Just Calls 3 and Uncharted
4. Yeah, the Uncharted ones. The online trophies.
It even says, yeah, mainly put here because of
the online trophies. That's so... SpongeBob SquarePants,
Battle for Bikini Bottom. Really? Surely not.
I don't know why. Kids game, yeah. Spider -Man
2. Miles Morales, Ghost of Tsushima. So, really
easy play, but just took me a while to complete.
Well, that doesn't really rank it as a hard thing
if it's just taken you a while to complete it.
Yeah, Spider -Mans are the easiest ones. I'm
pretty sure they're the highest percentage out
there for like a AAA game. Do you get points
for getting trophies and shit? Because it's not
like how Xbox used to be when they counted as
currency, didn't they? I don't know. It's been
a long time since I've had an Xbox. I swear,
I swear. Years and years and years and years
ago. I don't know, because I used to get Gamerscore,
didn't you, on Xbox? Yeah, and I thought you
could use Gamerscore and that would let you buy
shit from the... I don't know, I don't remember.
I'm not saying you ain't right, I just don't
remember. Because I know that... Because obviously
you got the PlayStation Stars, didn't you? Yeah,
you do get points, but a lot of them I think
are from... buying games from the store and I'm
not I don't know if it's actually earning platinums
which it should be but obviously yeah I've always
thought that that should be a like you should
just get something for yeah rather than just
a platinum trophy there should be something thrown
in there like I don't know yeah you don't get
fuck all it's just at the end of your year like
playstation wrapped it just tells you how many
trophies you've got and all that it's just for
stats pointless shit I'd just do it because it's
same as that's really games deserve it why not
finish it off so you've finished the main story
for ghost tsushima yeah i'm currently doing the
um dlc um icky island at the minute and then
once i've finished that i'll go back and clean
up with all the trophies i never finished icky
island man i don't know why i don't know why
i didn't yeah i'm only about two hours into it
but yes it's definitely a good little dlc yeah
because i don't think it's i don't think it's
a crazy long But it is meant to be really good.
And for whatever reason, it's the same with that
free God of War DLC that they gave us. Oh, see,
I had it on disc and I sold the game before that
come out. So I platinumed it and got rid of it,
didn't I? I did the usual, platinumed it really
quick. And then get rid of that. Yeah. That seems
like a little cheat that I did that a couple
of times, buy a game off of Amazon, complete
it, send it back. Yeah, I did. Mirage, the Spider
-Man. Yeah, yeah. I hit them in the weekend and
then just sell them for pretty much what I paid
for it. I was just returning them on Amazon.
Yeah, all that. Just give them back. There you
go. Don't want it anymore. Fucking stupid. So
you're going to platinum that. When... Have you
seen much on Ghost of Yotai? I have seen nothing.
You've seen nothing? You know what I'm like.
You don't want to bother looking at any of it?
No. I'm just going to go off the basis that...
Ghost of Tsushima was really good, so... 2nd
of October is when that comes out. Because I
was looking at the... I sent you the collector's
edition for that. Yeah, I weren't a massive fan
of it, to be honest. I'm more into statues. Yeah,
because you get... I like it because you do and
you don't get a statue, don't you? You get that...
Yeah, like the face mask, isn't it? Yeah, yeah,
yeah. It's the same with Ghost of Tsushima. It
was pretty much the same. Is it the same shit,
is it? Yeah, it's just, obviously, it's Jin Sakai's,
it's black, and with the new one, it's... This
one's white. Yeah, white. White with, like, some
gold specs on it. Yeah. Because, do you remember...
Because you never ended up getting it, that high
-on -life collector's edition. Do you remember
that? Oh, yeah, yeah, I was going to buy it,
wasn't I? And I never... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because
it was quite cheap. It was cheap, yeah. A hundred
quid or something. I was talking to Steph about
it last week, or, well, last week of Tuesday.
about decent collector's editions that are actually
not too expensive i said that the mirage one
was probably one of the better ones i know the
game was waft yeah but that was what 130 140
yeah i was clearing stuff out the other day and
i literally found the receipt for 130 credit
costs yeah which is decent for a collector's
edition man shit game Yeah, it was shit. It just
did not live up to the hype at all. Which is
annoying, because I would have thought that,
like, Assassin's Creed Shadows would have been,
I would have been all over that. But I'm so uninterested.
I'm definitely going to play it. In getting that.
Now I've played Ghost of Tsushima, I've got to
see. What, you want to compare? Yeah, I want
to see what it's like. But I'm just not paying
70 quid or whatever it is at the minute. I wonder
what. I wonder what... Because I was also looking
at the collector's edition of that the other
day because I do like the look of the statue.
Yeah, obviously I had the collector's edition
on pre -order and then just cancelled it because
I was like, I'm not too keen on the game itself.
Yeah, which is mental because when it first got
announced... I was so up for it. Yeah, you were
trying to get me to buy it as well. I was so
up for it. I was like, yeah, this looks fucking
sick. And I was just saying to you, I was like,
I don't know if it... does look all that and
he's like no no no this is the one this is the
one it's the same shit with um the uh the new
battlefield that's meant to be coming out that
they're so burnt from 2042 it's like i can't
really trust it you struggled to get back into
them didn't you yeah because i i'm the same i
put everything into mirage yeah hoping it was
going to be something amazing and it just weren't
It wasn't a bad game, but the story was dog shit.
If you go back through the podcast, you'll be
able to fucking hear the downward spiral of that
because I think when it first got announced and
then when you saw a couple of trailers and then
gameplay, there's definitely an episode of me
saying, oh no, it looks really good. They're
doing this shit where it looks quite promising
and they're trying to fucking meld old school
with new school, blah, blah, blah. And then I
think there's the episode where I first played
it and I was like, yeah, it's decent. I'm liking
it. And then the next episode is me just going,
it's shit. Yeah, I remember because I was ahead
of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I sunk, I think, like
20 hours in a weekend. And I said to you, I said,
it's just not that good. It's not. And you was
like, no, no, it is. I was like, I promise you.
Just give it time. Didn't have any depth. No.
It was just an Assassin's Creed game with not
really much going for it. And it was like it
had the potential to... be really cool and do
some decent shit but i was like you you would
have been pissed off if that was a full price
game because that was 45 quid brand new oh is
that all it was yeah yeah obviously we got the
collectors yeah it's 45 quid brand new which
makes sense because it's like a 20 hour campaign
i think you can even i think you can complete
it in like 14 hours something like that yeah
so i think i did the platinum in 24 hours yeah
which is fucking crazy yeah it's just yeah Big
flop. I've looked up Ghost of Tsushima or Assassin's
Creed Shadows. And I want to see. Ghost of Tsushima
is pretty art direction wise. Is a better samurai
sim and has a better story. Assassin's Creed
Shadows has far more content. Graphically more
impressive. Graphically more impressive. And
a far better stealth slash shinobi experience.
With a slightly watered down samurai experience.
Historically speaking Assassin's Creed Shadows.
wins in that regard ghost of tsushima um is a
more more dramatic samurai film and like others
said ghosts of tsushima landscape is pretty but
very bland you spent your time running from point
a to b with very little exploration it's like
assassin's creed shadows offers more in terms
of exploration yeah i've seen a lot of people
because obviously i'll see it like people platinum
it yeah some serious hours into it because i
say they're just exploring yeah yeah i don't
know how many acts there is in it but you say
like people will say like i'm i'm only on act
two and i've put 50 hours in so there's obviously
a lot going on in the game yeah yeah i wonder
but i just hope it ain't like valhalla where
the map's just it's just massive it's just too
much yeah i don't i don't think that they went
down that route uh it says I won't tell you the
time it takes to actually complete the game itself,
but it says if you were... I'm not bothered.
It says about 30 to 40 hours to complete, which
is a decent chunk. And it says with the game
potentially lasting upwards of 80 hours if you
engage with all the side content. For 100 % completion,
players can expect to spend around 91 hours.
Yeah. That's not bad. It says, yeah, 100 % completion,
60 plus hours. it all depends what the trophies
are to be honest because on some games you can
put 50 hours in to the main story and then you've
only got to do 4 hours to platinum it and then
you've got other games like that that could put
30 hours in to the story and then the next 60
hours are just boring shit just getting collectibles
yeah because I was telling Steph wasn't one of
the Red Dead ones was the pelts yeah and freestyle
pelts and was it fucking squirrels or something
yeah that's what killed me I nearly put the controller
through the fucking TV. I was on the edge for
that game. Because it's annoying because it's
definitely in my top five games of all time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, when I started doing
the online stuff, I thought this is bollocks.
Because obviously GTA, the online is amazing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was back in the day now.
It's fucking boring. But yeah, and I went on
Red Dead Online and I was just like, this just
don't cut it. The story is a million times better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, because there wasn't
that much story on GTA Online's side of it. I
know you had the heist and all of that, so that
hyped up a lot. But I feel like Red Dead 2 Online
is more like role -playing. I don't really know
what the fuck you're supposed to do on that.
No, see, that's what I played a lot. of online,
but I didn't do anything story -based. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I just kind of was exploring, like
I said, trying to get the pelts. Yeah, yeah.
I don't even know how many hours I put into that.
So were the pelts in the online? Yeah. Oh, see,
I thought... As far as I remember, yeah, I could
be completely wrong here, but... I thought the
pelts were in part of the main campaign. I want
to see what it is. Yeah, have a look, because
you know what my memory's like and stuff. Dead
Redemption 2. I'm just going to type in pelt
trophy. Pelt. But I remember one of these. Skin
deep trophies? One of them's like level 50 on
fighting online and there isn't really a lot
to do apart from basically like a team death
match over and over again. Is it? It's not this
one. Skin every species of animal in story mode.
That's not that one. No, I didn't even attempt
that. That was one of the other trophies I had
to get. That's really long. Because you're looking
at like 100 species at least. And you're in a
massive map and trying to find them in these
areas was just a joke. Pelt trophies. Perfect
pelts are essential for certain trophies, specifically
Skin Deep and Zoologist. Let's have a look. I
don't want to know how to do it. I just want
to know what that trophy is. Can you only complete
an alternative during the epilogue? Some of the
animals won't be easy to alternative. What does
it say? How to get a perfect... Perfect pelt.
Fucking hell, I didn't think it would be this
hard to find a... Well, I'm just going on the
PlayStation app. I might as well scroll back
and see what trophies I didn't actually get.
Perfect pelt weapon guide. Animals over 40 pounds
or so need to be killed with a rifle for a perfect
pelt. This is probably the largest category since
it makes up deers. Yeah, so I mean it probably
helps if I just type in zoologist trophy. Zoologist.
Here we go. Oh no, study every animal across
all states in story mode. So maybe it was the
one where you just got to skin them but you need
to get perfect pelts. Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe it was offline. I can't actually remember.
Still, very fucking annoying. Yeah, it was ridiculous.
Because how is that animal... animal list? Here
we go. Fucking hell. There's over 100, I'm pretty
sure. Yeah. Jesus. How many fucking... Jesus
Christ. What was that like? Welcome to all legendary
animals and legendary fish. Matt, did fish count
in the... Yeah, I collected all the legendary
fish. That wasn't too bad, to be fair. 235! Is
that how much there is, yeah? 235! It's serious,
man. This is serious. And you have to skin 30
of the same animal. Animal. Every species. 30
times. Is that what it is, yeah? Yeah. That's
what it says. Skin deep. That's what... I thought
you just had to skin 30 different species. Hold
on. Skin deep is what it was called. Because
I'm pretty sure it said there's 200 different
animals, but obviously some of them are the same
species, so there's only 30 species on there.
It says... Oh, this one's just skin every species
of animal in story mode. That's still a lot though.
Oh yeah, still a hell of a lot. I don't even
get close to it. That's still fucking 235 animals.
Even the different categories. American alligator.
A small American alligator. A legendary bull
gator. Black bear. Grizzly bear. Legendary fucking
grizzly bear. How do you... Fucking hell. Yeah,
I don't think I even had half. And you've got
to skin all of them. Yeah. Jesus Christ. And
the fish as well. I bet the fish are one of the
most annoying ones to do. Fishing ain't too bad
on the game, to be fair. No? It is quite relaxing.
I bet the chickens fucking... Fuck me, the chickens.
Dominique chicken, Java chicken, leghorn chicken,
leghorn rooster, Java rooster, Dominique rooster.
They're really easy to kill, but yeah, you've
just got to find them. Greater prairie chicken.
Fuck me. They all look exactly the same as well.
Yeah. Oh, my God. Crab. Fucking crab. Yes, it's
great, isn't it? A land crab. Do you ever think
that you will get it done? No, I'm never going
back to that game. As much as I love it, I've
got no reason to ever go back and try it. It's
just done. Completely done. It killed me. I'm
pretty sure after that game is when I took my
break from gaming. Because I put a lot of hours
into it. I think it was, you know. I think it
was. Yeah. I think it was about 150 hours altogether,
but I put easily that within a month. You were
playing that a lot. A lot, yeah. That was a hell
of a lot. That was fucking wake up, go to work,
come home, red dead. Yeah. And obviously, you
know, I've had a good few stints out of the game
in the last few years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dip
in and out. So when I commit, it's all in. You've
got to skin the fucking poodles as well. It's
just everything. Rufus. So you've got to kill
someone's dog. That's great. Siberian husky.
Literally anything that isn't human and moves.
Skin it. Yeah. Fucking skin it. But yeah, getting
them little animal freestyle pelts for... It
wasn't for that trophy actually. I do remember
what it is. You have to do like a squirrel statue
or something for a trophy. Right, okay. And there's...
I can't remember exactly what they were, but
there was like a... Squirrel statue, here we
go. Yeah, have you got it on there? Squirrel
statue locations. You get the statue as a gift
for completing all of the hunter requests. That's
it, the hunter requests. For Ms. Hobbs, you can
find in a challenge. Yeah. Okay, so... So it's
basically, you know, like on there, you've got
like the wanted post and that. It's just basically
a post on a wall. Of a squirrel? You collect
it, and then it'll give you a list of animals
that you've got to go and get perfect pelts for.
And that was for the trophy? And I did, yeah,
I did the first few challenges, and then, yeah,
there was, I can't remember, I think it was a
squirrel, and you had to get a freestyle pelt,
and you could only do it with one weapon, and
it had to be a headshot, and trying to find them
was just impossible. It's art is the achievement.
Is that find? Find a permanent home for the squirrel
statue. That's it, yeah. Yeah, secret. So yeah,
just to get a squirrel statue, you've got to
put fucking hours in of just killing. Out of
14 ,433 tracked gamers, only 2 % have done the
achievement. Yeah, so the overall platinum is
0 .1. That's mental. I would love to get one.
My best is steep, which is 0 .2. Steep's a 0
.2 on the... Yeah, it's not that hard to do,
to be fair. Hardest platinum trophy... Yeah,
you want to look at the lowest rarity, that's
probably what will show you what the hardest
ones are. I have, I say, rarest platinum... Because
another one I was trying to do was Tony Hawk,
and that's a 0 .1 as well. I got stuck on that
as well and gave up. PSN profiles. We are the
PlayStation's rarest trophies. Here we go. Dead
Nation Apocalypse Edition. Which trophies out
there are owned by 0 .1 % of players. So that
one. Don't Starve Platinum. Killzone Shadow Fall.
Obtain all Killzone Shadow Fall trophies. Is
in the 0 .1 % Madden NFL 25 Platinum. That might
be because it's quite new. Yeah. Rayman Legends.
Rayman does obviously go up and down quite a
lot. Yeah. But in some games it just does stick
at 0 .1%. 41 hard PS5 trophy lists. They're fascinating.
It's just the commitment to be able to do it.
Because what I really struggle with is kind of
like once I... I think that's why I get on so
well with something like WoW is because you just
can't complete it. So the goalpost is always
moving. But I feel like any other game, once
I've finished the main story... Would you not
feel satisfied? I'm done. Just to fully complete
a game, to say that you've actually 100 % of
the game. I'd like to think so, yeah, but at
the same time, obviously not, because I've never
done it. Because I get that as well from games,
that I'm getting the most out of it. Do you know
what I mean? Like, I've finished the story, but...
You want more from the gamers. Obviously, games
bring out DLC and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah.
Weird, weird brain. Because you miss out. You
miss out on a lot of stuff. I know, I know. Like
Expedition 33, latest game that I finished, there's
a shitload of stuff in the open map that I can
now explore and shit that's still locked that
I can't go to yet. So, obviously, what I've got
to do to unlock it is optional because I've completed
the campaign. There's a big part of me that's
like, I still want to go and see all of that
because I really like the game. There's also
a massive part of me that's like, oh, thank God
it's done. The campaign's done. The main part
of this game is done. Everything else is optional,
so therefore I don't have to fucking do it. Let
me move on to the next one. No, I do get it.
Which is just weird. It's a catch -22 for you,
isn't it? Because you want to enjoy the game,
but at the same time, you run a podcast, so you've
got... I want to move on to the next thing. Yeah,
you've got to keep up with what's going on. Kind
of. Because you can't come on here every week
and talk about the same game over and over again,
because... Believe me, we can. Well, yeah, you
fucking do. I'm sick of it. That'll be another
one of Expedition for 33 when Ash comes back
before we talk about it being completed. Yeah,
something like Elden Ring for you. How many times
have you completed that game? Six, seven times,
something like that. That's probably one of the
only games that's made me go, yeah, no, play
that again. Because any other game where, because
Expedition has it where it says New Game Plus.
I ain't fucking interested. nah I've got it with
Ghost of Shima it gives you the option I can't
be arsed I'll finish it off and then that's it
you go you get to keep all your stuff but do
it all again but it's harder nah I'm sweet I
can't be arsed I don't think I've ever done it
apart from say Last of Us Part 2 because you
have to do New Game Plus to get the platinum
that's such a bastard that is yeah you have to
play through like half the story again that's
a cunt but yeah Elden Ring was the one and only
game where I've sat there and gone yeah let me
let me do that again but I think that was I think
that was mainly because of how fucking hard the
bosses were. And I was like, all right, well,
let me see how hard they are now. And then, because
like the first, the first playthrough of that,
I think that took me like 50, 60 hours. Yeah.
Something like that. Maybe even more. I remember
them days. And then the second playthrough, six
hours. Yeah. Took me to do that. Because I just
beelined the bosses. There was no need for me
to go back. I mean, you can go back on New Game
Plus and get the weapons again. And then that's
how you get duplicates of certain weapons. But
there wasn't really a massive need for me to
do that. But yeah, six times. Because it was
just getting faster and faster and faster. Because
it got to a point where I had maxed out everything.
that was on there, all of my stats. So I was
free to do whatever the fuck I wanted. So the
scaling sort of went a bit shit because I was
like, it can't get any harder or I can't get
any more powerful than I'm already at. So I'm
just fucking wailing for everything. Do you not
think that you're missing out on stuff though?
What, in Elden Ring? Yeah, say like, because
obviously like I say, if you go through to 100
% a game. In any game, really, you always find
different weapons and stuff like that. Because
obviously I've never played Elden Ring. I don't
really know how it all works. Elden Ring's massive.
There must be loads of weapons out there. There's
loads. You've never acted. Loads of shit. Loads
of secrets. I'm pretty sure there's still a secret
in Elden Ring to this day that hasn't been discovered
yet. There's still shit that people have. I mean,
fuck me, there's a door, an invisible wall, where
you have to hit it a hundred times for it to
open up. Yeah, I've seen videos of people falling
from the map and all of a sudden you're in a
new area. But it doesn't look like anything.
It's not like you're in a cave and then there's
just a bit of wood over a section and you think,
all right, well, that must be a doorway. It's
just a bog standard room with a bog standard
wall. Yeah, how the fuck does anyone know to
hit that? Because you literally just had people
spending hours just hitting shit because that's
a... It's weird for me because I entered the
world of Soulsborne games, first played Bloodborne,
was shit at it, never completed it. Yeah, I remember
when you got me to play it, it lasted about 10
minutes. Not for us. So went away from that.
So then my actual proper introduction into that
was Elden Ring. So I'd missed a whole load of
shit before. So there's lore and... the way the
games are made and shit that's so intrinsic in
every single one like iteration of the of the
genre so there's shit that people know like hitting
walls because there might be false walls so people
started playing Elden Ring that were veterans
in that genre knew to try out certain shit that
might be working because it's worked in every
single other game even down to the basics of
when you roll you're invincible Yeah, but I still
don't get it though because the maps ain't small.
Nah. Do you know what I mean? It's like you're
going in an open world and just hitting a tree.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't make any sense.
That is literally what it is. The map's fucking
huge. Because obviously you can have different
emotes and shit like that where you've got your
basic ones and then you can find loads of other
ones that just make you do like a slew or fucking
whatever. T -pose. There's like statues and shit.
where you have to do a specific emote in front
of it and then it'll open up a door or it'll
give you something or whatever. It's very clever.
There's so much shit. Or even like the quest
because there's not traditional quests where
someone fucking asks you to do something and
then boom, it pops up in your quest log and this
is your objective, blah, blah, blah. It's literally,
here's a dialogue. They've given you something
or asked you to get something. Go away. yeah
and then try and then just try and piece it together
what's going on and i think for me where where
elden ring was so fucking mainstream when it
come out it was like mental and i know you're
not on it but tiktok was fucking mega for elden
ring edits and and anything to do with elden
ring it was just flooded for weeks with just
elden ring so i was playing the game massively
enjoying it doing the shit that i was wanting
to do and finding my own things out but also
through tiktok i was seeing a lot of shit yeah
it ruins it a little bit doesn't it a little
bit i was i was avoiding a lot of spoilers um
but the the secret stuff was and i found some
secret stuff on my own or not secret but stuff
that i wouldn't have found without having to
look it up So everything else, I don't really
feel like I missed out because I'd seen it through
someone else doing it, whether it be a streamer
or whatever. Yeah, see, that's weird to me. I'd
like to do it myself. Yeah. There is obviously
trophies and stuff like that you have to look
up because you think, like, fucking Eldritch
is taking me forever. But the thing is, I think
when you're playing a game like Elden Ring, it's...
If you die, it's just such a fucker. It's so
annoying. You lose all your fucking souls, like
your currency to level up. You've got to go and
get that back. All the enemies respawn. It's
just fucking, it's a pain in the ass. And especially
when you're just starting out, it's such a slog
to get. Some of the clips I've got where, well,
like my health bar's minuscule. Now, if I log
into it, the health bar's from one end of the
screen to the fucking other. It's just huge.
Whereas when you first start, it's nothing. And
you're hitting people for fuck all. And there's
a clip of me where, I was in like a castle and
I was struggling to get through a load of these
people. And then I eventually made it through
everyone. And it was the furthest that I'd got
in this castle. I stepped out of like a hole
in a wall to like a walkway. And then some geezer
just fucking dropped down on me, hit me and knocked
me off and I died. and I was fuming that's why
I can't play them games I was absolutely fuming
because then obviously everything that I've just
battled through has all come back I was like
oh fuck you know it's just when you're when you're
trying to play a game like that it's so completely
different to any other game that you will ever
play because it isn't like you can't just hack
and slash everything especially not at the beginning
because you're going to get fucked even now if
I was to go on it now being as powerful as I
am You can still get fucked up by a dog that's
just walking past. Yeah, so I remember that dog
at the start of Bloodborne. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They'll just fuck you up. And it's the worst
enemies out of all of them that, for me, in Elden
Ring, were these fucking eagles, these harpy
things. And they were eagles, and they had these
sharp metal talons. And it was their moveset
was so fucking annoying. Because it was sort
of like they would swoop down and go to attack
you. And if you clocked them first, you were
sweet. You'd be able to stun them and then kill
them because they didn't have that much health.
But if they managed to land an attack on you,
it was just a flurry of fucking attacks that
would sort of stun you a little bit. So trying
to avoid them. And it was never one. It was always
like three or four of the fucking things. And
they're just fucking at you constantly. I hated
them. All the things. That's the thing as well,
though. Everything kills you on the game. Everything.
I hate that. You can't enjoy it. There's no moment
to enjoy the game. No. Anything and everything
will kill you. But I also feel like that's the
thing that makes it so, so good. Yeah, it's got
to be satisfying. Yeah. That clip of me killing
that boss, Melania, which was an optional boss,
was nothing to do with the campaign at all. And
you had to traverse through this. fucking hive
of enemies and i actually watched her because
i'd finished the campaign and i was like i need
to go and fucking kill her because it's all i
was seeing was she's the hardest boss in the
in the game um and i actually got a youtube video
up first found where she was like the area tried
to get through this fucking maze of just enemies
and different levels of of whatever the fuck
it was And I couldn't. And then I watched a YouTube
video and it was just a geezer that had found
the most direct route where you could just run
and skip everything. And I just did that. I was
like, just get me to this fucking boss. And yeah,
when I beat her, that was fucking... There's
a clip of me just screaming. Just going mental.
Just fucking... It is satisfying because obviously
the closest I've got is Blackmuth Wukong. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I don't know why I picked it up.
Yeah, Black Myth Wukong would be... Because I've
never had any interest in any of that sort of
games. Is that technically a Soulsborne? People
could obviously make the list of what's hard
and that, don't they? And they say that Black
Myth Wukong's a piece of piss compared to Souls
-like games. But obviously for me, it's fucking
impossible. It says, why are so many people saying
Black Myth Wukong is not a Souls -like when it
so clearly is? Dev said it isn't a Souls -like.
They don't want to be compared to Souls -like.
Someone said just because the dev said that doesn't
mean it's true. Souls -like is a vague term of
a growing and relatively new sub -genre. Bonfires,
which you level up and heal at, which resets
enemies. Black Myth's enemies don't reset. No.
They didn't reset, no? No. No, because a lot
of the time, well, obviously you can die to anything
as well, but the main time you die is on the
boss. So when you die, you just respawn and you're
at the boss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're not
really coming up against anything. They're pretty
generous with the checkpoints, in all fairness.
Yeah, maybe it isn't a Souls -like, but it's
similar. It's similar to that. It's definitely
fucking hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care
what anyone says. I've played games for a long
time and I'm not in the Souls -like world, but
it's a difficult game. And I still haven't finished
it. Let's see what, so what were the votes? So
it had effortless so far, comfortably challenging,
moderately tough, very difficult punching, just
here for the results. And then it got voted overall
moderately tough. Some challenges along the way,
a few bosses required 10 to 20 attempts. Yeah,
which is pretty standard. I don't think, minus
one or two, I think the bulk of what I killed
was between one and 10. So it's probably not
that bad, but yeah, there is just some bosses
on there that just drove me to the edge of smashing
it up. Yeah, those are the good ones, though,
when you finally get them. Yeah. I reckon I spent
three or four hours on some of them. Yeah. It's
the madness of it where I feel like we are probably
the same with that type of stuff. I might be
a little bit more stupid with it in that if something's
hard, but doable, I'm just going to fucking keep
doing it. I'm going to keep going and going and
going. Yeah, see, I get like that and then I
get to the edge with it and I'm just like, I'm
done with it. Yeah, I just don't hit the edge.
I know if I put it down and give it a couple
of hours or the next day, I'll come back fresh.
And it works. I don't know why, but it works.
I just can't fucking... That level head just
coming in, it just works. I think it's because
I just get so wound up with it, so... so incredibly
annoyed the DLC for what was that like Prime
Consort Radan like 5 days or something yeah yeah
5 days you were a miserable fucker then man 5
days on one boss you were obsessed though like
I'm obsessed I've never seen anything like it
I cried when I killed him yeah that's gay one
little tear that's gay one little tear I was
so exhausted I was like it's done but that's
all you spoke about at work that was literally
what was on your mind from the minute you woke
up till you went to sleep it was strange yeah
that boss was yeah the thing that drove you to
finish it was Ash doing it Ash doing it which
is mental yeah I know you'd be the same if I'd
do something it's pure jealousy yeah I got out
of bed I was like and I think what got me more
is that because it doesn't matter at all because
completely different play styles completely different
so like Ash struggled with with some bosses that
I just fucking one banged and then vice versa
there was somewhere I really struggled on Wukong
in the community there was like people obviously
when they finished it listed the hardest bosses
and nine out of ten of their top ten I completed
in like one or two attempts which is really weird
because and I had the exact same thing where
with Elden Ring seeing certain bosses from the
base game and from the DLC and like everyone
saying yeah this one's really fucking hard this
one's really hard I was like oh fuck me and you
only like catch a glimpse of them and then actually
making it to those bosses in game and thinking
oh shit like I know I know what I'm in for here
and then just for a couple of hours of hell and
then just walking through like well what the
fuck is everyone whinging for and then there's
and then there's just there's there's one boss
on there which was the last boss that I beat,
and then I switched it off. I was done. There's
still bosses on the DLC that I haven't done.
Will you ever go back? No. No, no chance. No.
No, no, no. Optional bosses are left over. The
last one I've done is called Commander Gaius.
Weird name. G -A -I -U -S, I think. You read
some of that, didn't you? A little bit of Gaius.
And it's just a fucking... My mum. It's just...
Shout out Jackie. It's just, it's a geezer. It's
like a knight riding this massive boar thing.
And I did kill him in the end. But that was probably
the hardest boss out of the entire thing. And
it was like a secret boss where you had to do
a load of shit beforehand that no one would really
know how to do. I had to watch a YouTube guide
to actually find how to fucking get to him. And
he was just a fucker because when you'd enter
the boss room, you'd always have like maybe a
couple of seconds to sort your shit out and then
boom, let's crack on. But it was the minute you'd
go through this gate, this fucking pig would
just full sprint at you and then just knock you
into the air and then you're fucked. And it was
such an arsehole of a fight. Arsehole, I hated
it. And that was... That was basically me straight
after I'd done Radan. So I was already worn out
and I killed this fucking boss after a couple
of hours and I was like, I'm done. Yeah. It's
like, I'm fucking, I'm done. Fully drained of
it. Yeah. I was like, I've done exactly what
I need. I've done the campaign. I've done exactly
what I needed to do. I've done the fucking additional
hardest boss. I'm done. No more of this. Switched
it off. I was like, good night. See you later.
Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? You're never going
to pick it up again. Never going to touch it
again. It was great. The worst part about it
was obviously no one had really played Elden
Ring for a while when the DLC come out. So everyone
was rusty as fuck. Well, didn't you and Ash jump
back on? Jump back on it just to fucking... Freshen
up again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because none
of this... I mean, there was... I feel bad for
the people because in order to get to the DLC,
there was another optional boss called Moog.
And... Big horrible bastard. I actually helped
Ash kill him because he couldn't do it on his
own because he just does this horrible move where
he's got this big star thing and he slams it
into the ground and then just this blood pours
out from the sky and it just fucks everyone up.
It's a cunt. Absolute cunt. And I helped him
kill him. But you need to have him down. in order
to access the DLC. And because he's optional,
there would have been a shitload of people that
would have got the DLC and just not have been
able to go straight into it because they would
have had to do this boss before. Yeah, and this
boss was an arsehole. That's sadistic, you know.
You can't just play the DLC and go and kill this
guy. Yeah, you've got to go and kill a boss.
A hard boss at that, not a fucking cakewalk of
a boss. He's quite rough. Yeah, yeah. One of
the best games I've ever played in my life. I
might try it one day, but at the same time, I
don't really want to put myself through it. It's
just, I remember sitting there. I remember sitting
there and ringing Ash. And I was like, I'm returning
it. I'm done. you're bad like that with games
though after a couple of hours one little thing
that pisses you off I'm not enjoying this anymore
fuck this we've played many games over the years
and you're like well nah this game ain't that
good it is it's just you've fucking you've died
or something's pissed you off and you're like
yeah I don't want to play this anymore it was
like Wreckfest you just start taking people out
instead I'm not going to play them I'm not going
to fucking race anymore I think the last game
was what was it Outlast Outlast Trials you got
stuck on that one bit and he was like yeah I'm
done with this I was sitting on there playing
it with you and he was like yeah I'm done fuck
this game deleted it it was done I hated it and
we had such a laugh on that game Outlaws Trials
was fantastic and they've done a lot of updates
to that since as well you're not going back though
don't fool yourself you're not going back because
you've got to go back and do that trial and you're
not going to do it you've got to turn it on get
pissed off turn it off again me and Mark got
Outlaws Trials and we're having an absolute blast
playing that and there's this this level to escape
the facility that you're in and it was just so
so low level you gotta stealth it and there's
just so much shit going on and i'm terrible with
horror games I'm shit with them it's the funniest
thing just listening to you scream I am so shit
with them but playing them with someone else
I can deal with but on my own I'm just so shit
and it was exactly that I'm having to play a
really hard level in a horror game oh yeah because
obviously it's the only level on it you have
to do it solo and I was just crumbling and yeah
I think you's ruined it for me because you did
it yeah because you started it before me because
I just sucked all the fucking fun out of it you
hate when Mark Madison does better than you don't
you It's not fun anymore. I'm not the best. No.
Yeah, you fucking smashed through it and I was
like, I can't do it. What are you doing? It's
my forte though, isn't it? I can't fucking do
it. Horror games are my thing. Yeah, man. Yeah.
That was a fucking fun game. Same with Dead by
Daylight. Yeah. Another top draw game. I don't
know why I stopped playing that. I still remember
sitting there when we just couldn't get a queue.
Yeah. For so long. Yeah, because back in the
day, you couldn't join a party. You had to search
for a game at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And hopefully you got put in the same lobby.
And back in the day, its player count was so...
I'm amazed that it's still going. It's still
very popular as well. Yeah, it's done very well
now, but at the time when we were playing it,
you could not... We'd sit in a queue, matchmaking
for half an hour. Well, you've got to think,
it had been out on PC for... I don't know how
many years, say five years, and then it comes
to PlayStation. So all the players were PC. Yeah,
yeah. So it was just, you couldn't get, I remember
showing Steph, I was like, oh yeah, me and Mark
play Rocket League and we play Dead by Daylight
all the time. And then trying to show her the
gameplay and I just couldn't get into a game.
No. Nothing would load. Everyone wanted to be
the killer as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're
loading a survivor. No one wants to be a survivor.
You're just on your own. Yeah. So, and then,
and then I don't know what happened to it. I
think it's because they brought out cross -play.
Because obviously there was a period where me
and you kept going on and we was only getting
put with PC players every time. And for some
reason, they're meant to be the elite and they
were all so shit. The worst fucking players.
I'll sit by and say that most times when it's
cross -play, the PC players are better than the
console players. But Dead by Daylight, PC, if
you play Dead by Daylight on PC, I guarantee
you, you are shitter. than the people that are
on console. You're fucking useless. Useless.
Fucking useless. Brain dead idiots. And they're
not bots, because Dead by Daylight does bots
now, but it didn't at the time. It does now,
yeah. But back in the day, it was real players,
and they were fucking unbearable. Unbearable.
Useless. I'm pretty sure there was a couple of
games where I just upped and left. The minute
I see it on PC, I'm off. It's not a hard game.
All you've got to do is skill check the jennies,
and all they do is keep popping them. It's not
a hard game. Killer comes straight over, game
over. It's a very fun game. It is a very fun
game. Broke a headset to that game. I've got
the clip of that, to be fair. Did you break a
headset to that game, did you? Yeah, I smashed
it on the floor. I remember when you did it on
steep. That was hilarious. That was another one
because I did it before you or beat your time.
It's just competitiveness, isn't it? It's just
being competitive. Yeah, we put too many hours
into that game. Steep was great. I'd love to
see my Howe account on Steep. It's surprising.
It's probably not as much as we think. I wonder
if you could search it on the app. I don't think
you can. I think it only shows your hours on
recently played. Really? I think so. I loved
Steep, man. And then Riders Republic come out.
they just weren't as good I just didn't get into
that at all nah you played a bit didn't you but
I think I put two three hours in and gave up
I did play a bit but I just couldn't it just
weren't the same was it it didn't have that competitive
edge that we had with Steve nah yeah no it doesn't
yeah we did we were pretty good at that to be
fair obviously because me and you used to go
for the weekly scores worldwide and stuff like
that yeah yeah yeah we did actually have a few
of them briefly yeah Yeah, we were like fucking
world number one and shit like that. I remember
there was one race on skis. I think you were
snowboarding and you were number one for a couple,
I think it was like at least a week. Yeah. A
week or two and you sat at number one. That was
quite impressive. Yeah. Yeah, there was some
cool shit. That's my little claim to fame because
most games I'm bang average. My claim to fame.
And a H1Z1. H1Z1. Has to be. Yeah. Has to be.
I think I was, what was I, top 1%, but yeah.
I was top 0 .01%. Yeah. I'm just going to put
it down to the fact that you put my hours in.
First season, we fucking, we were lethal with
that game, and now it's gone. Oh yeah, it doesn't
exist anymore. It doesn't exist, does it? No.
No, no, no. We switched over to PUBG for a while.
God, I love PUBG. Such a shit game. That broke
me, that game. I love... Because they were long
games, man. 45 minutes. Yeah, 45 minutes. With
no kills. Seeing absolutely no one and then you
just get sniped. Done. Yeah. Bosh. Let me play
that again. Or done in with a frying pan, if
you may. That was brilliant. I think I've still
got the clip of when my parachute got stuck and
I couldn't get out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And
I'm just floating around while you're chasing
along with a pan. Yeah! I loved it. It was such
a good game. yeah alright well well done thank
you so much we can fucking end it yeah done our
time have we done it yeah we've done it it's
gone quite quickly fuck off thank god thank fuck
finally see you later everyone in a bit