So we'll give it an attempt of being a professional
intro. Everyone's already listening. So here's
your professional intro. Hello, everyone, and
welcome to What's the Buttons? My name's Rhys,
and with me I have... Ashley, I am the co -host.
And we're here to provide some gaming entertainment.
We also have a patron. That's forward slap...
I don't know. that's on you bro you set that
up patreon .com forward slash what's the buttons
that's how it's supposed to be done we'll clip
that and then run that at the beginning of every
single episode it's rubbish it's fantastic boring
they don't like that alright cunts what's happening
yeah but if you do want to check out the patreon
that is patreon .com forward slash what's the
buttons extra half hour to an hour Every week,
exclusive episode where we talk shit. Gaming,
shit, more shit. It's usually shit. That's about
it, really. That's the summary of it. Delve straight
into the episode. I've got Split Fiction. Saw
it on the way in. I bought it. Turned up today.
Got it from Smith's Toys. I'm going to play it
with Steph. That's what I'm going to do. Nice.
Because it comes, so obviously it's made by the
same people that made It Takes Two and A Way
Out. Very good games. And what I like about Split
Fiction, I don't know if I spoke about it on
the last episode, is that it comes with a friend
code. So only one person has to buy it. Obviously,
you need PlayStation Plus, don't you? I don't
have PlayStation Plus anymore. I sack that off.
Usually, I play these games with Mark, but Mark
also doesn't have PlayStation Plus, and we're
both refusing to pay for it. So, he's going to
play it with his missus, I'm going to play it
with Steph, and we both agreed that in about
two days, we'll give up and play with each other
instead. Brilliant. You should get PlayStation
Plus anyway, just for this month's games, just
so you've got them. Which ones are they? Valgaard.
Oh, is it? Yeah. Three months after release.
Here you go. Here's three. Yeah. There's a couple
of other good ones as well. Yeah. I mean, they're
cheeky cunts though. You want to know why? Why?
Because I cancelled my subscription. I didn't
realise I was paying for the year. And then I
caught it just last minute. Cancelled it. And
then obviously I didn't have PlayStation Plus
for a while. And then decided to just pay for
it monthly instead. Fuck the saving. You're saving
like what? A couple of quid a year. Give up.
But I didn't realise that whether it's a bug
or if it's how it's supposed to be but if you
cancel the subscription and then PlayStation
does an update it automatically resubs you for
the payment method that's put down. Sorry? Which
is what happened to me. What did you say? I cancelled
the sub. Yeah. My PlayStation later on did an
update. Right. And in that update, it automatically
put me back on PlayStation Plus. That doesn't
sound right. It's what happened because it popped
up on my phone that £7 .99 or whatever had been
spent on Sony. And I was like, I've been hacked.
I've been hacked. Because I weren't even on my
PlayStation. I was in the middle of moving. Things
weren't even plugged in. So I was like, what's
happened there? And then, yeah, I went into my
account and it fucking resubbed me. And then
they make it a ball lake to fucking stop it.
I don't, I don't, how do you stop it? This is
what I did. I went into my bank. Yeah, because
it set up a direct debit. Didn't just take the
payment, it set up a debit. So I cancelled that.
I then blocked them through my account, right?
I thought, oh, that's got them. No, they used
my PayPal because the fucking card, obviously
where I blocked them, we can't take your money,
but they could fucking take it through PayPal,
which was a backup. So they did that. So I then
had to go into my account. and basically delete
all of my payment options. Right, okay. So, I
don't know if you're aware, but if you go onto
your PlayStation... You can cancel the sale.
Go onto your account information and just press
X. Yeah, I did that. And it stops it. Nope, I
did that and it charged me. I don't... I promise
you. Then they should be recompensating. I promise
you, I did it. I did it and then a few days later,
they took £7 .99 out of my account. Did you do
it too late after the date? Nope. I can't see
that. I was pissed. I was pissed. Well, then
rightly so. So, if anything, I don't have PlayStation
Plus because I'm fucking... You know what I mean?
Look at your PlayStation just standing up like
that. I know. I can't wait to play The Last of
Us. I've never had my PlayStation up like that.
It terrifies me. What, you have it laying down?
yeah like crushed in between bits of wood like
to get it in like that i don't know how my place
is not dead i it's like literally this that is
too big to fit in the thing there's nowhere else
i could have put it so when when i first got
it i put it in the wood and it wouldn't go so
i punched it in what you punched your place yeah
to get it in the wood so i can't move it it's
stuck in there I hate the design of it. Because
it's too fucking big. It's too thick. It's too
big. It's too thick. And I don't know why, on
God's green earth, because the way that the suction
works is, obviously, it draws the heat in and
shoots it out. So what I don't understand is
why the fuck they haven't got vents here? Because
there's fans there. Why have they got faceplates
with no vents? Ugly. It's stupid. And yeah, probably
because it's ugly. Aesthetically, yeah. But yeah,
it's fucking large. I need to plug it in. I do
kind of miss playing it. It's just fucking effort.
I love the PlayStation. While we're on the subject
of these two combining things, PlayStation and
The Last of Us, obviously The Last of Us controller
released today at 10 o 'clock. Nice. Could I
get one? Could you fuck? No. No, I couldn't.
No fucking chance. Already on eBay for 100 quid.
It's just fucking... I think there was 75 quid
to buy them. And then, yeah, no, straight away,
sold out. Bang. Straight on eBay. I had an anger
nap yesterday because I missed out on something.
You got so angry that you had a nap? Yeah, because
I was fuming. Does that work? Yeah, you're not
too angry to fall asleep. No, because I was so
angry. I've had enough. I'm checking out. I used
so much energy and just like, ah! So I missed
out on my holy grail. Oh. Baldur's Gate statue.
Oh, how much? Well, would you believe me if it
had like four minutes to go and it was at 60
quid? And I was like, okay. So what I'm going
to do. is I'm going to wait till the last, like,
20 seconds. Yeah. 15 seconds, maybe 10. Mm -hmm.
Then I'm going to put my bid in. So I did that.
Yeah. I put my bid in at 150 pounds. Yep. It
went up to, like, 70 quid or something. And then
it got down to, like, three, two seconds, something
like that. And then it went 101, 106, 120. And
then it got to, like, 151 pound 50 or something.
And then I was, like, panicking. Just, I pressed.
bid and then it then it had to i had to enter
the amount but i just didn't have enough time
and it ended at 157 pound so i missed out on
it by seven quid and i'm you can't get that fucking
statue nowhere bro like without i know you've
been trying for yeah i've been trying to get
i've been trying to get the fucking the whole
collector's edition uh but i'll be happy with
just the statue but look the dice is 156 quid
just for one fucking dice Still like 1 ,800 quid.
800 pound. I hate this cunt. You can fuck off.
Look, I offered him 550 quid. Automatically rejected.
And is it still up? Yeah. Dirty cunt. I didn't
even get a chance to bid again. As soon as I
bid, it declined. It's like he's already set
a precedent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I bid 400.
No, I bid 450. Rejected. 500. Rejected. 550.
Rejected. Can't make no more bids. You're only
allowed to make three. Yeah, you're done, yeah.
I'm not paying any more than that. You fucking
greedy cunt. That's just a fucking shambles.
People are charging. Look, everywhere. 1 ,200
quid. 1 ,000 pounds. Yeah, but are they selling?
Look at this statue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go into
the fucking sold, bro. It's a fucking joke. It's
a fucking joke, man. I had that one, didn't I?
I bought it off that geezer for 500 quid. Then
he cancelled it. Because fucking... I bought
the whole collector's edition for 500 quid. He
cancelled it saying that he didn't know that
fucking eBay were going to take 10 % or whatever
it was. Look, there it is. The last one sold,
157 quid. And then you got that dice sold for
231 pounds. Collector's edition, 720 quid plus
25 pounds. They are fucking valid. Look at that
one. That whole collector's edition, 184 plus
77 pounds. I'd have paid that. You know what
I mean? It just fucking winds me up. Greed, man.
Absolutely greed. I shouldn't be paying £500
for a collector's edition. I'm ashamed of myself.
I'm desperate. I need that shit. I'm a collector
of trinkets and baubles. Sorry, you were so close.
Yeah, and you know what? I was sitting there
thinking, I'm not going to be mad if I don't.
Because, you know, it's too much money. I shouldn't
be spending that much on a statue. But when I
missed out on it by seven quid, oh, I was angry.
You were angry, yeah. So angry. And then Gemma
was like, what's the matter? I couldn't tell
her. I couldn't tell her I missed out on a statue
that I was going to pay 160 odd quid for. I couldn't
tell her that. So it was a bad day. I didn't.
I had a good day. What was your limit? Did you
have a limit? Yeah, well, I thought 150 quid's
probably about it, but I'm willing to pay 157.
Do you know what I mean? For a statue, I was
willing to pay 150 quid, but if they'd said,
yeah, you can pay 160, I'd have gone, all right,
you've twisted me arm. But it is what it is.
It's not the end of the world. It's just infuriating
because they're just going to get less and less
available, weren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, one tip I would throw, and I got it off
of Steph, which is very helpful when I was going
through my bout of just buying fucking Pokemon
card slabs. constantly off of ebay if you're
going to throw a random bid in always make it
a fucking random number at the end of it so if
you oh no i did i bid 151 pound i didn't bid
150 yeah 151 point something that point something
i know most people go 151 and 50 pence but if
you go 151 and 57 pence make it a fucking obscure
one sometimes that does just fucking pinch it
for you because a lot of people just put Like
20p, 30p. They're going 10s or 5s. If you throw
random shit in. This broke my heart, man. I feel
bad for you. So you should. I feel bad for me.
Yeah. I do look every now and then. I do. I look
every day. I still look every day. And it's just
the same shit. It's the fucking thrill of the
hunt, isn't it? No, it's exciting. Because I
know once you finally get it, you buy one. When
I saw that, still for 60 quid, because obviously
I watched it. That's why I got a notification.
When I searched it, I thought... I'll keep my
eye on it and I'll sit here and watch it but
that's going for a couple hundred quid isn't
it when it actually went because I thought the
last 10 seconds or something my £150 bid's going
to go up to about £300 and I'm going to be like
oh well but to miss out by £7 it's a cunt isn't
it it's terrible it broke my little heart bro
I'm not going to lie it really really hurt me
and I'm still hurting I feel terrible Don't worry
about it. Just missed out. Yeah. Them's the ones.
Just trying to find that message from that geezer.
The one saying that he has to cancel it. Yeah.
That's really sad. What I should have done is
just fucking done what everyone told me to do
and just message him privately and I'll just
buy off you. Privately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But
then eBay scans for that shit. I didn't want
to lose my account just for that. Yeah, because
you can't send phone numbers or any of that shit.
They get real funny about it. I was trying to
find a way to find him on Instagram or something.
Just be like, look, let's do this deal, man.
You know what I mean? But no, it's just over
for me. I just need to come to grips with the
fact that I'm never going to get it and it's
tough shit. Oh, here it is. do do do do do so
i offered it originally i offered um it was i
offered something it was up for x amount uh so
i think i probably offered 500 and he counter
-offered so i messaged him and i said oh hi mate
just so you can offer and i understand um huge
boulders great fan i was devastated i missed
out a click to the edition i wasn't i didn't
know how much i was going to love it Now I am
devastated, so I guess it's the truth. Been looking
for one since. Unfortunately, scalpers have made
this extremely difficult. Not calling you a scalper,
by the way. 600 is just too far. I can't justify
that to the wife. And he replied, do a new search.
You may find what you're looking for. Best be
quick. Kind regards. Jesus fucking relisted it
for 500 pound for me because I sent him that
message. He'd already rejected my 500 pound offer.
I said, oh, thank you so much. Why would he reject?
What? Well, because he wasn't happy and then
obviously he sent that message that I was actually
a real fan. Sympathy. Yeah, sympathy. I didn't
do it for that. I said, oh my God, thanks. Can't
thank you enough. You made me a very happy man
and my wife a lot less annoyed at me. Thank you.
He said, and then two hours later. I'm afraid
I've cancelled the order. Just found out that
eBay have charged me £65 to sell one item. Will
never sell on here again. They are a total rip
-off. Very sorry. I am really annoyed. £65 is
such a fucker, isn't it? I said, oh, that's a
shame. I understand. £65 on £500 is a shocking
fee. I really appreciate what you did, however.
Lovely. There are still people like yourself
that have a kind heart. He didn't fight hard
enough. He should have said, take it off fucking
eBay. I'll buy it. Yeah, I know. And I'd have
lost my account. What I should have said is I'll
fucking pay the 65 quid. I'll pay you 565 quid.
And then he probably would have lost more money
from fees. I don't know. I just want to message
him again and be like, bro, I might message him.
Still got that stuff. Message him. Message him.
Bro, there's no way he's still got it. It was
the 24th of September. Message him. This is how
dreams come true. I even looked for his username
on Instagram. Get the thing back up and message
the cunt and just say, Hello, mate. Just trying
my luck here. You still got that collector's
edition? Or... No, I can't. I can't. Yes, you
can. Let's move on. This is a boring podcast.
No, we ain't moving on. Write the message. No,
I'm not messaging him. I'm not messaging him.
We're doing this messaging between this and the
patron. No, because I'm not getting my eBay account
banned. You're not going to get your eBay account
banned. You will. You won't. Just message and
just say, do you still have this? And then we
can go from there and we can work it out. This
is how dreams are made. He said he's never selling
on there again. He doesn't have to sell on there,
does he? Yes, he does, because then I'm getting
banned. You're not getting banned. Yes, I am.
It says, if you contact people outside of eBay,
we will ban your account. Yeah, but you're not
contacting them outside of eBay. You're contacting
them through eBay. Yes, but they're not buying
through eBay, so they're not getting their cut.
They don't know that. They do, because that's
what they scan the messages for. They scan for
words. Yeah, just be cryptic. It's a cunty world,
you know. People take advantage of us as gamers,
because they know that we'll just buy shit. It's
painful. I'm the worst. I'm a Star Wars gamer.
I'll buy anything. Anything shiny. Did you see
the... I mean, it weren't much of a fucking teaser
trailer, but it's out there in the public eye,
the Space Marine 3. I heard, yeah. I did hear.
I was excited as a wet fish. And then when you
Google it, there's just nothing. I mean, it's
only just come out. It's cool, man, but... Obviously,
I guess. They've only just done a big update
on it and all. It's just one of them that I just
assumed was coming. They've had Space Marine
1, which was a success. They've had Space Marine
2, which was an enormous success. Obviously,
they're going to do another one shortly. Yeah.
You know? It's very true. It's good. Yeah. Happy
days, but I only care about one thing, and that's
Baldur's Gate. And games. I see your Kingdom
Come Deliverance 2 care package. It arrived today.
That looked very cool. My wife video called me
and said, what have you been ordering? I said,
I haven't ordered anything. She said, you're
a liar. And then she showed me the box. And then
I was like, my goodie bag. Goodies. I was so
excited. I didn't know the mouse mat was going
to be in there. I mean, it's fairly useless to
me. But one day, I'll be rolling that out. Yeah,
that's true. Or maybe I'll stick it on eBay for
four grand. See how they fucking like it. Was
it just the steelbook or did it have the game
in it? No, no game, no. They've just put another
competition up for another screenshot thing.
Yeah. For collector's edition now. Same screenshot.
Bang. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was
like, surely I couldn't win twice. Could I? Could
you imagine? Different admins fucking running
this competition this time. Oh, look how cool
that is. Yeah, we picked the winner. No, what
have we done? The thing is, I've already got
the collector's edition. So it's like, I know
that this map and stuff was already in the collector's
edition. So I was like, do I just, I was on the
verge of saying, look, as a goodwill gesture,
just send it to someone else. And I thought,
no, fuck it. There's 10 of them that have won.
Yeah, I want this. I'm going to take my stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take your fucking stuff. So
now what that means is I will display a map and
keep one secure in their box. Or you can become
the man that you hate and bang it on eBay. No,
I wouldn't do that. Hundreds of pounds. Nah,
not until it's worth millions. Competition one
fucking map. Please see proof at what's the button.
Yeah. What's the button? What's the button? One
loud DS on the end. Someone's already got that.
I was so disappointed with that creator thing
that you sent me. Oh, yes. Was that Ubisoft?
Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was like, are you fucking...
Because I signed up to it and then it said that...
you had to link an account, a social media account,
and it was either Instagram, Twitch, or YouTube.
I was like, I should podcast, get nothing out
of that then. Sweet. Get fuck all. I was like,
I can't do anything with that. And then it was
like, yeah, you need X amount of people following
you, you need X amount of views, and blah, blah,
blah. And I was like, I ain't got that on Twitch.
The podcast have got that. I haven't got that
on Twitch. So I can't do this. It's shocking.
If Joe Rogan wanted one, I think they'd give
it to him. Of course they fucking would. And
he ain't got Twitch, mate. What do you mean?
I was just fuming with it. That would have been
a cool thing to get involved with, but maybe
next year when we're back up and booming. We're
booming. We're booming. I looked at the statistics.
They haven't changed. The last episode went out.
Back up to usual business. So nothing's changed.
I've been slaying monsters in Monster Hunter.
That's all I've been doing, actually. I haven't
actually played anything apart from Monster Hunter.
Yeah, that's really good. I've, yeah, I've killed
a lot of monsters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mainly the
same ones. Still holding you? Not really. No?
Just, I don't know, it's just got a source in
it, a secret. I don't know, you get to kill stuff
and get stuff. Sometimes you get rarer, shinier
stuff. I had a, obviously I took a leaf out of
your book and put quite a few games into my wish
list on Steam. And I had an email pop up. uh
yesterday day before and it was for i'm just
getting up steam now to figure out what the name
of the game was but um it was kind of like a
soulsborne meets uh top down view when steam
actually fucking loads up i'll be able to tell
you but it was basically on deal and i didn't
pull the trigger I know. I felt terrible for
it. I really did. Because I was like, that would
have been quite a decent game. Naturally, Steam's
taking a fucking age to load up. But I forget
how handy it is to have shit in your wish list.
Especially for stuff like that. Ironically, my
son plays Lego, Star Wars, Marvel. Not Star Wars.
Lego, Marvel, Super Heroes. He's mad about Marvel
stuff at the moment. And he's been playing the
first one, but the second one's got Thanos in
it and all that jazz. And I had it in my wish
list. And I went on the other day and I said
to Gem, I was like, that's fucking 45 quid. I
said, I'm not paying that. I remember seeing
it for like three quid. And then literally the
next day, it was three pound 95. So yeah, I went
much. And then I went on the season pass and
I bought everything for like a quid or something.
So I've got all the DLC characters. Well, I know
extra 30 characters for him. Or for, yeah, like
a fiver. You know what I mean? That's why. But
if it wasn't on the wish list... You wouldn't
have known, yeah. Yeah, and not only would I
not have known, I would never have known that
it had gone that cheap. So I knew it went that
cheap before, so I was like, okay, then I'm going
to wait until it does it. Because I would presume
that it's always going to be quite pricey, i
.e. Baldur's Gate 1 and 2 are on my PlayStation
wish list, and I know they dropped, like, substantially.
I didn't buy them. And now they haven't gone
down again for flipping ages. So I'm waiting
until they go down again. And I check every single
day. And as soon as they do go down, even if
I'm not going to play them at that time, I'm
going to pull the trigger, baby. Yeah. It was
no rest for the wicked. That's what it was. I've
got that. Have you got it? Yep. Have you played
it? Yep. What's it like? What are you playing
it on? It would be... on the computer. Probably
right there. Steam Deck. Absolutely atrocious.
Was it bad, yeah? Why? Just fucking... It just
runs like absolute shizing hours. And it looks
like absolute shit. It looks really good in fucking...
Oh, yeah. No, the game looks fantastic. The gameplay
is fantastic. The only problem is the running
of it. Now, don't get me... Don't get me wrong.
Is there a way for me to quickly look whilst
I'm slowly talking so you can see? Here we go.
Okay, so I last played it on the 9th of September.
Yep. So there is a chance that it's damn sight
better now because they've just done a huge update
as well. Well, it says the award -winning developers
of Ori and the Blind Forest and Ori. Fucking
Ori. Ori. You are such a World of Warcraft geek.
Of the Wisps comes No Rest for the Wicked, a
visceral precision action RPG set to reinvent
the genre. At the moment, its most recent views
are mixed reviews, and I'm just clicking in them
to find out why. Steam's being a fucking cunt
at the moment. It says, literally all the negative
reviews are about the updates slash future content
being delayed and nerds sulking about no multiplayer.
Play the game, which is about 20, 30 hours at
the moment, which is well worth the price tag.
Game is phenomenal and a leap forward for the
genre. Feels like and plays like a AAA game.
And then literally the next one down. I currently
would not recommend this game due to both performance
issues and baffling design decisions that overtly
punish death. This game will be closer to a farming
grinding simulator than anything else if they
continue with these choices. It will also be
close to a year without any major changes to
the game, which I personally find to be unacceptable
of an early access product. You do find that
sometimes with some of these early access games
on... Steam or whatever, where they sit on early
access for fucking ages and nothing happens.
Nothing happens. You've got all this dough that's
come through. You're basically paying to play
the beta and then fuck all is going on. Well,
what annoys me is that when I bought this, it
was verified for Steam Deck compatibility. And
it's still verified for Steam Deck compatibility
now. So, unless they've sorted it out, it was
fucking atrocious. Now... Yeah, they've just
announced the new content. Literally yesterday
or the day before. Because I thought about getting
it on Steam. But I've only played it for just
three hours. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, things
could change. But yeah, it's just a damn fun
little ditty of a game. But obviously not for
everyone. Yeah, I'm tempted to give it a crack.
But I don't know why. I just hate paying for
shit. yeah yeah split fiction cost me 40 quid
i was seething about it it's because you're just
so used to that wow model man you don't pay for
shit yeah expansion just used to not fucking
you're not a gamer you're like geezer at work
he just plays arc you're just you're just a wow
player and he's just an arc player i have to
force myself to um to really pull like pull away
and and play other stuff like i've got that obviously
the last of us board game which I haven't played.
I waited over two years for that to come through
on Kickstarter. It finally arrived. It's fantastic.
Literally, it arrived. I took it out of the box,
looked at it, put it all back in the box and
moved house. And then I just haven't used it
and it's fucking sat next to us. You've got Elden
Ring Collector's Edition there. Yeah, yeah. I've
got all these fucking books and everything. There's
so much shit, but at the end of the day, it's
about enjoyment, isn't it? And you only enjoy
it well. If you're finding fun in other shit,
well, Split Fiction's going to take some fucking
bash. Take some time. You're obsessed with that
fucking word. What, bash? Fucking geezer. Fucking
what? It's on my nerves. So, yeah, that's about
it, really. Look at my games that I play, right?
I'll ignore the ones that kids play. Monster
Hunter Wilds, Mafia 2, Baldur's Gate, Kingdom
Come Deliverance 2, Spider -Man Miles Morales,
Enter the Gungeon, Dead Cell, Salt and Sanctuary,
Mafia Definitive Edition, Bind the Rizok, Skull,
Tales of Iron, New World Eternal, Pathfinder,
Wrath of the Righteous, Neverwinter, As Above,
So Below, Blasphemous 2, Path of Exile, Death's
Gambit, First Berserker, Kazan, Blasphemous,
Armor Reforger, Shadow of War, Crusader Kings
3, Metaphor, Refantazio, KCD1. fortnite black
ops splunky 2 sonic racing crash team racing
no man's sky fifa 25 Marvel Rivals, Rachi and
Clank Rift Apart, DayZ, Astro's Playroom, Rishka
Reign 2, Elder Scrolls Online, Throne of Liberty,
Final Fantasy Online, Genshin Impact, Honkai
Star Wars. What is this? All the games you've
ever played? Yeah, this is just all the games
that I have played recently, really. Rogue Trader,
FIFA 24, Black Death Wukong. I mean, look at
us. What I'm just trying to say is look at the
selection of games I play and then you'll go
on you and you'll just have like Stray or something.
Where do I find that? Just click that little
button there. Yeah, and then it's just the recently
played. Yeah, these will be the most recent.
All right, here we go. Metro Exodus, The Callisto
Protocol, which I actually finished. Very good.
Banishers, Division 2, New World, Space Marine
2, Funko Fusion, Baldur's Gate. Yeah. Thank goodness
you're here. Bramble, The First Descendant, Dead
by Daylight, DayZ, Elden Ring, Plague Tower Requiem,
Dredge. Bioshock The Complete Edition, Potato
Sack Racing Simulator 2024, Far Cry 6, The Outlast
Trials, Helldivers 2, Granblue Fantasy Relink.
There's quite a few. Plague Tale, Innocence.
No, but they're not though, mate. If we got the
statistics up, half of these would have been
played for no more than 15 minutes. No, most
of them I fucking finished. Bullshit. I promise
you. I promise you. The last game that I actually
finished properly was the Callisto Protocol,
and I really enjoyed it. That was a really good
game. That was starting to get me wanting to
get involved in playing more horror games. I
just feel like you miss out. Just like my mate.
There's so many fantastic games that you just
go by the wayside because you're so engrossed
in this MMO rock brain. I get it. I do get why
you want to play it because I want what you have
with something, but I can't get it. And it's
like, with you with God of War, you dismissed
it. And I know you'd played it before, rah, rah.
But I was just like, how can you... If you're
a gamer, that's like peak gaming. You need to
play that. You need to experience that. So how
many of them kind of situations do you miss out
on? Just like I do when I say I don't want to
play a certain character, rah, rah. How many
do you miss out on just by playing well? I think
the difference now... is rather than me poo -pooing
everything else, I don't. There's some very,
very good games out there. I just haven't played
them. But there's a very serious addiction going
on that I need help with. I need help and everyone
else needs help because we're trapped. by lord
we're trapped and now that I'm fucking tanking
I'm even more important than I was beforehand
I'm even more needed and I like it so it's like
we're getting down a fucking rabbit hole here
but there's there's other there's other games
there that well like I say Split Fiction's there
I'll tell you a game that I actually that I do
own that I really want to play because a lot
of people just say like the story is Is genuinely
good. I know you've played it and weren't a massive
fan of it. I know a lot of people aren't a massive
fan of it. But that's Death Stranding. I really
want to play that to understand it. Because I
don't fucking get it. You see the Death Stranding
2 trailer that was like 10 minutes long. I watched
the entire thing. Fantastic bit of fucking artwork.
I loved it. I didn't understand a fucking thing
of what was going on. Nothing. I thought I was
tripping. I do not know what was happening. Every
single scene was completely different for 10
minutes. I didn't know what was going on. I don't
think anyone in the comments knew what was going
on. And then boom, there's just a collector's
edition at the end of it of some fucking alien
thing with a tank on its head. I don't get it.
I don't understand what we're doing here. There's
a geezer holding a fucking baby. He's delivering
post. I don't get it, but I want to get involved
with it. I'll tell you now. If you played Death
Stranding 1 and you, by some miracle, because
I know you won't finish it, you'll finish it.
You'll want to know what the fuck was going on.
Yeah. And what happened. Yeah. You'll watch a
YouTube video. Yeah. Explaining the whole thing.
Yeah. And you still won't have a clue. Yeah.
And that's what sucks about the game. Because
Kojima, like in Metal Gear Solid, fantastic storyteller.
This... I had no fucking idea what was going
on. There's hands coming out of the ground. So
I had a quick look into it. I also like that
they subtly put snake in Death Stranding 2, but
it's not snake. Yeah. I'll be honest. I watched
the trailer and what I did was I fast -forwarded
10 seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds.
Then you would have missed a lot. No, no, no.
I don't blame you because go and watch the whole
10 minutes. You ain't got a fucking clue. It's
not that. It's one of them. I'm just like, I
know you made one of my favourite games of all
time. Like, Melga Solid, the whole series really,
but Melga Solid 1. probably my earliest gaming,
you know, love story. I loved that game. I got
it copied on my chip PlayStation. I cried when,
when I got it and it didn't work. And then I
got another copy of it. I mean, this is highly
illegal by the way, but it was like the nineties,
you know, my parents blame them. And then, yeah,
then I got another copy of it. And then I was
so happy. I was so ecstatic because I'd played
fucking hundreds of hours of the demo disc that
only got up to one point. And then, you know,
I was so happy. And then I got to a point after
Sniper Wolf, went down into the furnace and it
said in the disc two. And I cried because obviously
there was no disc two. The person that copies
PlayStation games don't know how many discs the
game was. This isn't the fucking, this isn't
now. You can't Google shit. I just had one disc
and yeah, it weren't for you. You know, you can't
just go, oh mum, can I have this game? It didn't
work like that, bro. You just have to wait. You
have to wait until Christmas. Where was we going
with this? Kojima. He made such an amazing game.
The genius of taking your controller out of one
slot and putting it in slot two. You don't think
of shit like that. That was Metal Gear Solid
1. That was PlayStation 1 he'd done that on.
If you had a fucking memory card and you'd play
a football game, Psycho Mantis would read it
off your memory card and say you like football.
That shit blows your mind. You don't expect that
shit when you're a kid. How the fuck does he
know I like football? And then he goes and makes
fucking Norman Reedus deliver packages. What
the fuck is going on? I think it's great. The
game itself is... It'd be very good if I understood
the fucking story. And that might be on me, but
I have no idea what the fuck is going on. Because
the only thing I can liken it to is playing Control.
because I have no fucking idea what the fuck
is going on in that game. I love the game. I
love the gameplay. The gun feel was fantastic.
I love the movement. Everything about that game,
I loved it. But I didn't understand a single
fucking thing of what was going on. I don't know
what the hiss was. I don't know what the fucking
building was that we was in. I don't know why
I'm suddenly running it at the end. How's that
happened? I thought I was going for a job interview.
Spoiler alert. those games are fucking ages old
but I have an interview with the CEO and then
he shoots himself in the face and then come the
end of the my brother's in there he's turned
into some weird thing like I ain't got a clue
what was going on and when I finished Control
I was like I don't know what the fuck just happened
and it bugged me but I kind of like that it's
like you know when you get a you get a bruise
you know you got a bruise you know it hurts it's
a sign of trauma wobbly tooth but what do you
do? You fucking push on the cunt. Make sure it
hurts. And then in a couple of days, you've got
to still go like, but let me push that again
and see if that still hurts. And that's what
it is. You've got that scab you keep picking.
Yeah, you go, I don't understand this game, but
I kind of like that. I don't think you're going
to get that with Death Stranding. I don't know.
But when I watched the trailer for Death Stranding
2, I actually Googled it and basically said,
what the fuck is Death Stranding 1 about? As
far as I could decipher, it was sort of like
a, not post -apocalyptic, but the world is in
a state where everyone's just trying to survive
and there's almost like a disconnect between
patches of people. And that's why you're delivering
packages to these people so that they're able
to stay alive and stay connected to other people.
But then at the same time, there's like... another
universe slash dimension um which is where these
monsters have have come from and you need to
essentially unplug them to send them back to
where they came from was the gist of of what
i was reading the reasons for that i don't know
yeah and that would be great if that was what
it was but it's not really you go and they go
deliver this to this and you go okay and then
you literally spend an hour walking and trying
to climb mountains and shit with your fucking
backpack bricks falling out your backpack and
then you having to backtrack to pick the brick
up and then you have to when you're walking on
unstable ground if you use left trigger and right
trigger to fucking tread so you don't fucking
drop shit again and then you get there you're
not you're not seeing anyone The people you see,
you go into these little bunkers and then they're
like holographic images. There's not even people
that you see. And the combat, I wouldn't even
call it combat. It's not really combat in the
game. And then all of a sudden, a massive fucking
black sperm whale will turn up. And the world
will just turn into oil. And you're like, what
is going on? Here we go. The story of Death Stranding
takes place in an alternate reality of our world.
In this world, there are three existential planes.
The world of the living, the beach, and the world
of the dead. The world of the living is where
we find ourselves. The world of the dead is the
place where our soul will go. And the beach is
the path that we must cross from our world to
the world of the dead once our life ends. The
beach is physically a beach as we know it, with
its sand and its sea. Entering that sea, we reach
our final destination in the beyond. In addition,
each beach is unique for each person. Although
in special cases, such as wars, they can be shared
by different people because those people died
at the same time and in a traumatic way sharing
very strong thoughts. and feelings there are
other special beaches but i will explain them
later this sounds like i'm trying to explain
death to a 10 year old um at the beginning of
the story we are immersed in the end of the world
a cataclysm known as the death stranding has
occurred and no one knows anything about the
beach or the world of of the dead during this
phenomenon three fundamental things happen the
arrival of the stranded entities the timefall
and the dooms The stranded entities are the souls
of the dead that filter from their world and
the beach into ours and are intrinsically hostile,
for the most part, towards humans. Since the
Death Stranding began, every person who dies
and whose body is not destroyed within 48 hours
is necrotized and becomes a BT. This is very
dangerous since BTs are made of antimatter, and
when they come into contact with a human, they
produce small and not -so -small explosions known
as voids, which destroy everything in their path.
Their explosions are what primarily wiped out
Earth's cities, roads, communications, and most
of its inhabitants. As if that weren't enough,
the BTs are invisible, except in various places.
specific conditions they are also accompanied
by a black tar like liquid um there's quite a
few it splits it into two parts there's like
four more paragraphs i don't know if i want to
read them i'm happy to read them i don't know
that it sounds boring crack on mate you do what
you like um you know what this is our podcast
i will do what i like fuck everyone else listening
to it on the other hand we have time for which
always accompanies BTs. The timefall is rain,
although it would be more accurate to say precipitation,
since it can also occur in the form of snow or
hail, which causes everything it touches to age
rapidly in a matter of seconds. But after the
first contact, it turns into normal water. This
timefall seems to be caused by the chiral matter.
Some particles present in the beach that, together
with the BTs, have reached our world, spreading
through the atmosphere. is similar to dark matter
present in our universe since the big bang but
until death stranding its existence was not known
nor could it be interacted with in areas of this
is fucking this is long bloody bloody bloody
blah finally we have the dooms the simplest way
to sum it up is that they are powers that some
people develop since the death stranding happened
these those with dooms are more attached to the
beach I don't understand. I feel like if that
game portrayed all that, It'd be fantastic. Oh,
it doesn't portray any of that. I don't feel
like it does. Right. That might be a me issue.
Okie dokie. That might be me not understanding
what is going on, but it really is just, it seemed
like get this package, like it's trying to send
a message, right? So the world's fractured. You
don't actually see people. You just see holographs
of people and not even holographs of people.
You just see specific people that you're delivering
a package to. And then you have to like build
these roads because, we're trying to reconnect
the world. Yep. And then, but then you're like
connected with everyone else's world. Like I'm
talking about the players. So if this world is,
if this road's been built by you know 10 000
people then it's built for everyone so then it
makes everyone's journey easier because you can
just walk across the road or drive yep rather
than have to cross these mountains and stuff
right and you can set up zip wires that other
players can use but they're not really in your
world like the dark souls you know the elden
ring where the world's interconnected but you're
not really there so you might see a spirit of
someone but they're not really there so it's
it's got all that But the story is fucking confusing.
And it's weird. All of a sudden, you're in World
War II with Mads Mikkelsen. It's like, what's
going on? That's what happens. You're going along.
And then all of a sudden, you're in World War
II fucking hiding from these soldiers. And it's
like, how am I here? And then I'm delivering
a heart to a doctor and it's like... Right, you've
got that. I've also got Death Stranding is a
game about a pilgrimage, about activating communication
relays and about delivering parcels to isolated
corners of America in an attempt to establish
social strands, building bonds with your fellow
man in an effort to inspire hope in a dying society.
What is this game about? I don't know. What am
I doing? Because any... You're delivering parcels
from A to B. It's a walking simulator. Don't
get me wrong. I'm not sitting here saying Death
Stranding is a bad game. On the contrary, I think
it's a good game if you're smart enough to understand
what is going on. Also, if you are someone like
me, who you've rightly pointed out gets seriously
immersed in games, you can put your headphones
on, you can listen to the music as you're walking,
like the ambient music, and the sounds are like
the streams, and you're just walking along, and
you're happy to just walk along, and nothing
happened for fucking an hour. Great. You'll love
it. It's beautiful. But if you want combat and
you want fucking action and you want a story
that's not spoon -fed to you but is understandable
by a person that didn't get all their GCSEs,
then I don't think you've got a hope. I think
you're just like, what the fuck is going on?
Because that's what I got. And I love Kojima.
And his stories are convoluted. They always have
been. They're like, you have to reach deep for
the stories. That's the thing. I cannot... It's
like me with survival games. And when people
build really cool shit and I go, I cannot comprehend
that. My brain is not capable of making what
you've just made. I cannot do it. I applaud you,
but I'm getting annoyed because I can't understand
exactly how you've done that. It's ridiculous.
And it's the same whenever I see something from
Kojima is I go, I don't understand how your brain
has come up with this. What have you been doing?
I don't get how this works. I can't understand,
but I'm so intrigued. But everything you're saying
is right. I know that when I start playing Death
Stranding, because I will give it a go, I don't
know what's going to be happening, and I'm going
to be texting you or ringing you up going, a
whale's just eaten my foot. Don't ask me. I don't
have a fucking clue. But by the quick fucking
Google, I can't ask anyone. And that's the only
problem with the game, I think, is that I can
watch a YouTube video to explain the story and
still not know. And that annoys me. Those developers,
could you imagine the board meetings? Right,
so... It's Kojima's company, so it doesn't really
matter. He goes, I want to do this. They all
go, okay, that sounds fantastic. Yeah, I know,
but there must be fucking coffee breaks where
they've all been going at it for like fucking
five hours and they all stand around and they
go, what are you doing? It's got that really
famous French lady in it, I can't remember her
name. It's got fucking... It's got Norman Reedus.
Who's the doll? It's got Troy Baker. Who's the
doll? I don't fucking know. The fucking doll
that's hanging off of your waist with the legs.
Yeah, I think it says some shit or something.
I think it might have been in the first one.
What's the baby? What's the baby do? That was
a package, I think. But you like the baby, so
you keep it. And then when the BTs are around,
I think that's what they're called. Or PTs. BTs.
I can't remember. Yeah, the fucking phone. provider
yeah whenever them things are around like these
black wraithy spirit things but they can't see
you, but you have to sneak past them. Like, the
baby gets scared, and then it goes, wah, wah,
wah. And then you have to, I think you use the
touchpad or something, and you have to, like,
shake it up and down. Like, it's okay. And you
have to, like, use the thumb on the touchpad
to, like, say, oh, rock the baby to calm it down
and shit. Like, what am I doing? Why have I got
a baby in this orange liquid? Why am I carrying
it around? And why am I creeping past these fucking
spirit things? Why there's a whale now? And now
I'm in World War II with Mads Mikkelsen. Here's
your post. First class stamp. Thanks very much.
Yeah, while you're trying to deliver these fucking
suitcases and then you get suitcases and you
have to like deliver them all but you have to
arrange them on your back if you want to put
them on your backpack or you can craft like a
fucking like a trailer that just trails behind
you but levitates and you can put them on there
but then you can't really climb a mountain with
a trailer hanging behind you they all fall off
so then you put some on your back and then some
of it's just fuck what is going on it's ridiculous
it's absolutely ridiculous i saw someone fall
over with their parcels yeah because you're not
yeah because you have to do l2r2 l2r2 l2 when
you're walking on dodgy ground to keep your fucking
balance otherwise you'll fall over you can't
walk up mountains you have to like Get zip wires
built and shit. It's fucking ridiculous. Honestly,
it's absolutely ridiculous. And yeah, if you
want to climb a mountain or you want to go up
this steep hill and you drop all your stuff,
you've got to go back down and get that shit.
You think that's fun? Probably not. Because I
know you. I didn't find it fun. But I finished
the game more out of stubbornness and respect
for Kojima because I don't know what I'm doing.
But I want to see what's going on. What is his
plan here? Because maybe something's going to
change. And I remember getting to the end and
the last cutscene is about an hour and a half
long. I'm not joking. And I was like, no idea.
No idea. And it's supposed to be like gut -wrenching,
you know, this sad story about X, Y, and Z. Don't
get me wrong, there's the odd bit where you're
like, okay, I can understand this bit because
he's talking to her and he's saying, right, this
is what we're going to do and then this person's
come in and done that bad thing and okay, I get
that. And then it's back to, I'm in fucking World
War II with Mads Mikkelsen chasing me. I'm like,
why? It doesn't make sense. I don't know. It
might just be me. I don't think it's just you.
By the sounds of it, I don't think it's just
you. But you better believe I'm buying Death
Stranding 2. Yeah. Damn straight. Have a little
fucking gander. You know why? Because he would
have learnt from many mistakes, and if he feels
like it wasn't good enough, because you could
tell it was the start of a new IP. There's a
lot of stuff that, you know, the combat was shit,
if I'm being pretty honest. I don't think you
even had guns. I think you just fired, you know,
like them balls with rope in between, and they
like... Yeah, yeah. I think it was like that
or something, or maybe they fired them at you.
It was just crappy. Like, the combat was like,
on a scale of 1 to 10 of importance in the game.
the combat would have been a 0 .1. It was never
really a thing. And when it was a thing, it was
bad. It was not enjoyable. Which is mental coming
from someone who made Metal Gear Solid, which
is just incredible. Have you ever played Metal
Gear Solid games? No. See, they're amazing. I
strongly recommend Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater
when it gets re -released as a complete remake.
You play that. Because them games... created
stealth games and like fucking around with the
AI and trapping them and it's just good fun yeah
it's just a shame that he doesn't get to carry
on making them for Konami because he's genius
I will I will play it because I feel like I'm
so intrigued by it I want you to play it because
I want you to like it and then explain to me
what the fuck because don't get me wrong it's
been a long time since I played it I probably
played that when it came out years ago I don't
know when it came out But it feels like a long
time. I'll tell you what we'll do. On top of
my already busy fucking schedule. This training
for an ultramarathon is fucking me up, you know?
It's doing me in. I'm running four days a week.
I've got two fucking dogs, yeah? I've got to
raid this shit twice a fucking week, yeah? Six
o 'clock. On the dot. Half sick, sorry. I've
got to be ready. I've also got to keep up with
the gear to fucking keep up with the raid. We're
now moving into heroic. It's just, it's fucking,
it's too much for me. If I had kids, I'd be fucked.
I don't get how you do this with children. Well,
you don't. I can't do this. You can't play WoW
like that, bro. I can't do this. I've got a house.
There's three fucking letters from the council
asking for money. They've got their hands out,
ready. I'm busy. You know what I mean? What am
I supposed to do? But I want to... make it um
a personal mission for the sake of the podcast
and i can give an update every week not take
up fucking much time depending on what i've done
but i can give an update every week as to how
far i've got on what i'm doing in death stranding
and we can almost throw it into like a little
mini series where every episode you can tune
in much like you have a football manager and
i'll go through what the fuck's going on and
i'll try and interpret to the listeners what
the fuck I'm doing to anyone that isn't quite
sure of Death Stranding as a whole. And I feel
like I can do that. I'm very much up for that.
I just feel it's going to be a whole lot of,
I walked here and gave him that and that's the
end. Yeah. And I don't even know what was in
the box that I gave him. And then I had a cut
scene and I can't remember because it didn't
make any sense. Because the only connection that
I've got with Death Stranding is the Days Gone
skin that you can get for your motorbike. Where
the fuel tank's the baby. Yeah, cool. I mean,
that's cool. I think I got that. And I was like,
that's a cool crossover. I like that. That's
enjoyable. But once again, it doesn't make sense.
There's one moment in Death Stranding that I
remember and I thought, oh, the game's getting
cool. And then it just didn't. And that was like
that review said or explaining thing said. Like
the dead bodies. If there's a dead body, you
need to do whatever it is, burn them or whatever,
before they become like a big explosion. I think
a dead body will literally wipe out the fucking
America, basically. I think that's basically
what it was. And you have to deliver a dead body
to the furnace, essentially. Big furnace where
dead bodies go. You're literally carrying a dead
body on your back. And I was like, okay, I get
that. It's dark and morbid. It's weird, yeah.
And you're a postman for dead people. And then
it just went back to boxes. I'm a dead people
postman. Yeah, it's just fucking weird, bro.
There is a PS5 version, which is cool. I've got
it. Oh, you've got it? Because Lucy got it for
me for Christmas, and she bought me Death Stranding,
and then obviously you get the free upgrade through
PlayStation for Death Stranding with a PS5. So
your version might be a bit different to me.
I mean, I don't know what the fuck that is. I
don't know. There was no time trial fucking races.
That looks like VR missions. That's the touchpad.
That's what you see when you're trying to calm
it down. I mean, yeah, that looks cool. I'll
re -download it. I'll plug the PlayStation and
I'll re -download it. We'll fucking have a go.
I don't know what all this shit is. There's a
lot of stuff here I don't remember. And we'll
do it from there. So there you go, ladies and
gentlemen. That's my homework. I'm excited for
you to hear what happens because I'd love to
know. For the next however long, expect an update
week by week of what's happening. You better
believe I'm buying the collector's edition of
this just because. The statue looks fucking sick,
doesn't it? That's Troy Baker. Love Troy Baker.
Right, yeah. Sweet, look forward to that. We're
going to fuck off and do the Patreon. Patreon
.com forward slash watch the buttons. Sweet.
See you later, everyone. Ooroo. Ooroo.