Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho.
Because this is gonna be released on Christmas.
Ho ho ho. Isn't that crazy?
Wicked. How the stars have aligned.
Yeah. Merry Christmas cunts.
Hope you have a great time.
Not that anyone's gonna be spending their Christmas listening to this.
I think a couple people might.
You reckon? Yeah, I think they'll have a little listen up.
They'll bang it on while they get the roasties ready.
They'll get the FOMO kicking in.
I can't fucking, ah, just relax and chill and play some video games and all sorts.
I've been sitting here for about half hour talking to you, hot, waiting for this moment.
Why, what have you got to talk about? What are you doing?
Undoing your jacket.
They can't see this, but I'll describe it. He's undoing his jacket.
What the fuck is that?
That is fantastic.
He's wearing a Christmas jumper with a club penguin on the front of it.
With a fucking bulging Christmas hat.
What the fuck?
That is fantastic.
What the fuck is that?
It's my Christmas jumper.
What is that? Just like a pillow on the hat.
It's just a... Let me take a picture.
You can touch it if you want. I will touch it. I'll take a picture first.
Sorry. This is fantastic.
I love everything about this.
I've done it on the wide lens.
Your legs look fucking giant.
My dirty trainers on.
My work trainers.
You've got size 17 shoes.
The door. Why does the door look so big?
Let me squeeze it. Let me touch it.
Is it literally just a cushion?
Oh, it is.
Fair enough. I feel like that would be good in a fight.
Someone goes for a body shot. You're all right.
Where did you get that?
I've had it years. I love penguins. My second favorite animal.
I had a...
Joint first actually.
What's joint?
Wolf.
Of course it is. What a fucking silly...
Wolves and penguins.
What specific penguin or like king-emperor?
I just loved them ever since I was little and I saw one just fall over.
I was like, that's great.
You see the video where one falls over and all the others in the flock.
Is it a flock? A gaggle of penguins?
They all turn around and they go, oh.
It was the one I think where the one tripped it up on purpose.
It's always been. He's walking along and he just sticks his foot out
and it trips over in the water.
Did you ever play Club Penguin?
I did, but not like...
Not professionally.
Not more for like five minutes.
It was like a mini-click game or something.
Yeah, big time game.
We used to have like a membership for that and everything.
I fucking loved it.
My first MMO.
Yeah, baby's first MMO.
Yeah, Merry Christmas, cunts.
Let's get into it, Sheree.
Go on.
I have completed and finished God of War Valhalla.
You done it, yeah?
Donezo.
I haven't touched it.
Yeah, I know.
That's fine.
Is it good? Give us an in-depth review.
In-depth review, very good.
Nice.
So I don't know what I was expecting when I walked in.
It's a separate entity from the game.
So on the main menu, we'll have Valhalla to select.
Are you familiar with the rogue-like genre?
Not massively.
So it's one of my favorite types of games.
I play a lot of them.
Risk of Rain, Binding of Isaac, End of the Gungeon.
Yeah, Binding of Isaac probably being the best.
One of the hardest ever Platnums and I've got the Platinum.
Fantastic.
So essentially, rogue-like is...
There's rogue-like and there's rogue-lite.
Rogue-like is you go in, you try and complete it,
and then you die and you go back to the beginning with nothing.
But all the stuff you pick up throughout is randomized.
So it's got a lot of that in it.
So it's basically a rogue-like God of War,
which is how it was described before I entered the world of Valhalla.
So I kind of knew what I was going into,
but didn't know how they'd implement it in the game.
But what's very cool about it is it's much more than just a rogue-like,
because it's all story.
It continues the story of God of War, which I wasn't expecting.
We've sit cutscenes, chatting...
So what's a rogue-lite?
A rogue-lite is more of a lighter version of a rogue-like.
So probably God of War is probably more of a rogue-lite,
being that you can get permanent upgrades.
So there's a currency you can pick up throughout your journey in Valhalla.
And you can go to these...
I can't remember what they're called, Stone of Destiny or something,
some tablet thing you can go and interact with.
And you can buy for 300, whatever they're called,
you can buy a health potion, whatever, to boost your health back up.
You can buy... And these are all randomised, right?
So health and rage increase potion thing will always be there,
but you can only buy one of them.
There'll be upgrades to runes that you've picked up,
abilities you've picked up, so you can upgrade them,
upgrade your stats or whatever.
And you can use the currency you've picked up throughout the run that you're doing
to temporarily increase whatever it is you want to increase,
but when you die, that's gone.
But then there's also other currencies you can pick up
that when you come out of Valhalla in the little hub area,
you can go to the other tablets of destiny or whatever they're called,
and you can permanently increase.
You automatically start each run with 100 fucking twisting echoes
or whatever they're called.
Or you start with increased health, increased strength,
and that is a permanent upgrade.
So every time you go in, you can gather some of these resources.
When you die, come back, permanently increase your everything.
So that's essentially what Roguelite is, so it's more akin to that.
But I don't want to spoil anything, obviously,
but it's definitely worth playing.
It's hard to talk about it without pointing in the direction that it goes.
So yeah, there's not really much I can say other than...
It's so story-based, isn't it?
So annoying because I can't remember if I've still got it downloaded on my PlayStation or not,
and I really hope I do, only because the internet at the moment is being absolutely wank,
especially with this storm.
So to download it all again will take me fucking long.
But I really haven't seen anything about it.
The only thing I've seen was one video of a guy saying it was fucking incredible
and how they genuinely were not expecting it to be the quality
and have the depth that it has considering that it's free
and basically shadow dropped, kind of.
Because the length between it being announced and being released was very, very short.
So I guess you could put it in that category.
I love the idea of it.
The fact that it's free is mind-blowing, you know,
because it's not just some tacked-on thing.
Yeah, it's like Santa Monica have made it to almost give back to their fans.
They've gone, like, thank you for buying this game.
It's incredible, blah, blah, blah.
By the way, it's more crazy that we got DLC,
free DLC for fucking God of War Ragnarok before we got DLC for Elden Ring.
Yeah, interestingly, one of the guys that creates God of War,
I don't know if it was fucking the main writer,
it's not Corey Barlog, that's the only one I know,
because he follows me on Twitter, just saying, us on Twitter, I guess.
One of the directors, essentially, someone high up in God of War,
tweeted saying, you think the credits are the end of this story?
Yeah, I saw that.
Ha, ha, ha, don't be silly, or something like that.
So I don't know, because once and a while credits are stopped.
So I don't know necessarily if he means,
because I know there's more if you keep going back in,
it's not the end, but it's not the end, if you know what I mean.
I don't know if that's what he was implying,
or if he's implying there's going to be more DLC,
or we'll make another game which is obvious.
Yeah, I wonder if this free DLC is alluding towards what the next God of War is,
because obviously there's speculation as to whether it's
they follow the path of Atreus,
or if they stick with Kratos, and have it where it's Kratos and Freya.
So this DLC is Kratos only, so that's an interesting twist in itself.
My best case scenario, if I had to hand pick right now what I want for the next God of War,
I want him to be globetrotting mythologies.
I just think that's the best thing he can do.
Obviously they've got to implement that in a story way somehow,
but I'd love him to just go Egypt now and just fuck up Anubis.
He just fucks up all the Egyptian gods. I just love it.
Eventually we'll get to Christianity, and then he can fuck up Jesus Christ.
It's never going to happen, is it?
I know.
Imagine him doing one of them executions on Jesus.
Imagine that. He's got the fucking blades of chaos around God's face.
I think it's just not going to work.
Because I think, yeah, I agree with you.
I think we should come away from the Norse mythology.
Nothing against Norse mythology because it's very fucking interesting.
But in that setting, we've seen Kratos exploring that for a long time.
So, yeah, I want him to...
Egypt was a fan favourite for a long time and I think still is.
And that was the speculation as to where he would go.
You've also got storyline of Atreus and...
Is it Agraboda?
Yeah.
I'm amazed that I'm remembering the name so well.
That people were speculating that that would be the next installment.
Personally, I don't think that an Atreus game would work.
I don't think it's worth exploring.
Only because I feel the feedback from when you had to play as Atreus wasn't fantastic.
But I'd imagine if you had a standalone game where you're playing as Atreus,
that would be built on tremendously.
I'm wondering if they go down the Spider-Man route of Miles Morales.
You know when they've done Spider-Man,
Spider-Man Miles Morales, Spider-Man 2.
Miles Morales came out a year or two after.
It was more like a little side piece.
Very well done.
Ten hours or whatever it was.
No shorter than two, I guess.
But they could do a little side Atreus game.
But the problem is I don't want to because Kratos is God of War.
Kratos is the main man.
He's the guy I think everyone wants to play as.
Atreus is cool.
But I'm still hoping for a...
Because what I really want is Atreus to be a cunt.
I want him to be Loki.
I want him to actually become Loki and be a fucker.
I feel you could...
I don't think it would happen.
I don't think it's the dumb thing either.
Because just from a cost basis and risk factor.
But have a standalone game under the God of War banner
with Atreus and his story arc into becoming that villain-esque
Loki type and building upon that.
But have it be a relatively short game.
And then have a God of War game come out that is under the Kratos banner
where that storyline meets up.
That's what I was thinking.
So you've almost got...
Yeah, you've got a two-parter there where they're going to come together.
Where it's like imperative that you must play God of War, Atreus or whatever.
God of Mischief and God of War.
Two different games.
That's what Loki is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
God of Mischief.
That'd be perfect, wouldn't it?
Oh!
God of Mischief.
We've just cracked it.
Hire us Santa Monica.
We did it first with the fucking cinematic thing when I said that...
They threw the axe.
When they threw the axe and fucking Mjolnir and that should have panned round and then
boom, suddenly you've got Mjolnir and he's got fucking the Leviathan Act.
100%
Should have been done.
It would have been fantastic.
I'm sure they toyed with the idea.
Yeah.
And now we've got God of Mischief and then God of War side by side as a fucking...
Although...
Penultimate.
The end...
Once again, without spoiling anything.
The end of Valhalla makes me believe that God of War might not be the God of War anymore.
He might have like a new moniker.
So I don't know.
Well, he's a tired man.
He is very tired.
There was a reason why in God of War 2018, he was in his little hut.
He just wanted a peaceful life.
Mined in his biz.
Yeah, just leave us alone.
And then he got dragged into all that fucking mess.
Killed everything and everyone.
And then we had Ragnarok and he's like, oh, fucking hell.
Still gotta go again.
Got a spear now.
Here we go.
Let the man fucking rest.
I watched an hour long video the other day of Kratos killing all the gods of Norse mythology.
And I forgot how cool that scene is really when he's sitting there with Thor in his hut.
And Odin turns up.
So good.
Let's just have peace. I won't come for you.
Don't come for me.
And it all sounds great.
And he's like, what do you think?
Kratos says, nope.
It's great.
And it's such a hard no.
No, no.
Not having it.
He's like, he's literally just offered you peace.
And he gives you that.
He needs to stop looking for Tyr.
And then Kratos gives him that look of what do you mean you're fucking looking for Tyr?
Because he obviously didn't realize.
So then he realizes there's something more up.
And that's when he's like, nope.
I love that in that scene, though, you've got four God of Thunder.
And then you've got Odin himself sat in that room.
And yet when they both enter that room, I always think, don't do it.
No, don't fucking.
Because you're sat there with Kratos.
Dwarfing him as well.
Yeah.
Thor is dwarfing him.
Yeah.
But Kratos is the fucking God Slayer.
And he says, what does he say?
God of Death. God of War.
Odin says to Thor, he says, don't take all day or so.
And Thor just laughs and then hammers him up through the roof and around his chin.
There we go.
So gassed, bro.
Also, some of the Valhalla stuff, there's a lot of cosmetics that you can unlock.
And a lot of it carries over into New Game Plus.
So if you wanted to.
So as again, I'm not spoiling anything.
If you care about cosmetics, don't listen to this shit.
But you can get his you can get in his OG Sparta outfit.
And you can remove his beard, which is weird.
I don't want to do that.
No, no one wants to do that.
You've got issues if you do.
I don't want to take his beard.
That was like when you rocked up and you shaved your beard off.
I don't like it.
No one likes it.
You can obviously change all your pommel and your accent.
You can get all cosmetic based.
It's very cool.
I highly recommend it.
I know you'll play it.
You have to.
I will play it.
I'll be honest with you.
It was really hard.
Because obviously I haven't played God of War for a long time.
And it does really well in like, oh, we guess you haven't played this for a while.
So here's how to play.
Yeah, it does really well with that.
But there's there's parts where I'm just like, fuck me.
I just want to get to the next part to find out what happens.
I don't want to have to keep getting to this and dying and have to start the whole run again.
So I put it down to the easiest setting just so I could finish it.
But I got pretty fucking far in just on the north.
I had it on like not the hardest.
I think it was one down from the hardest or one down from that.
I can't remember.
It was it was tough, though.
And I'll tell you the only one only time it gets tough.
And I've always fought this with these latest God of Wars is when there's multiple enemies.
And I find it really hard to know when I'm going to be attacked from behind.
But it's not that I know because it's flashing red.
Why they're going to attack.
I don't know what they're attacking.
I don't know what they're doing.
So do I roll?
Do I try and deflect?
Do I parry?
I don't know what's going on.
Oh, yeah.
You're colorblind.
No, I know it flashes red.
No, roll out the way.
No, they flash different colors.
What the arrow behind?
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Well, it flashes red.
Yeah.
And that's where you can't do anything.
You got to get out of the way.
Yeah.
It flashes orange.
And that's a move that you are able to parry.
I know this when they're in front of you.
But I don't know.
And then if it flashes, it's like a purple kind of color.
You have to double tap the block.
Yeah, it's a projectile.
It's a missile that's coming towards you.
I didn't know that at all.
Never known that for the whole time I played the game.
Nevertheless, there's also that really annoying fucking mechanic where they have a shield on
and you have to use a specific weapon to knock the shield off of them.
So if it's grey, red, or whatever.
And also I struggle with that.
So I'm like, what color is that?
And I'm trying all the different weapons.
Why don't you use colorblind?
I do, but it's not really...
You're not setting it up properly though, are you?
It's not normally an issue in God of War, but...
Well, obviously he's now...
In that moment I was getting pissed off.
I'm saying, you can just pause the fucking game and then enable it.
There's also plenty of new enemies.
Plenty of old enemies.
He's winking at me.
Very old enemies.
Okay.
So it's very cool.
I highly recommend it.
I'll never play it.
I would love, love, love, love, love a little bit more of Brocken Sindri.
Are you asking me?
Well, they're not in there, are they?
No, I can't fucking know because you're going to spoil it if they are.
Yeah, I'm not saying anything because of the people.
If you want to know, I'll tell you off here.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'll tell you off here.
Well, no, because I'm going to play it.
Yeah, definitely play it.
I'm not going to say anything.
I think you'll get more out of it if you've played the older God of War.
I have.
Yeah, so you'll get a lot more out of it than someone who hasn't played it that way.
Okay.
Very good.
That's what I went upstairs for was aftershave.
Okay.
I went upstairs on your way here and stood there for about five minutes going, what the
fuck have I come up here for?
And it was aftershave because I'm trying to use more of it just randomly.
I always use aftershave.
Yeah, so I never use it and I'm trying to get into the habit of using it.
Okay.
Sorry, it just popped into my head.
That's cool.
So yeah, God of War Valhalla, whenever you're ready, please let me know your thoughts.
I've also played two new games or two.
That's funny.
You were already playing like four games back and forth.
I've deleted Diablo because I completed the battle pass.
So that's that.
Not two new games, two games that I've played before.
First, GTA.
Fucking hell.
I'm online, baby.
Okay.
I haven't done anything.
I logged in.
I'm not joining you.
I'm not doing it.
You are.
I logged in.
I got in my car.
I was like, that's a sick car.
I drove to my apartment and then I had to go and play another game.
I was like, that little drive was fun.
And I'll tell you why.
Because it's fucking snowed.
It's snow everywhere on the roads.
Yeah, you can throw snowballs at people.
I don't know about that, but my car's got no traction.
So I think maybe I've got to put some snow tires on it.
You can kill them with snowballs.
Yeah, probably.
No, not probably.
You can.
I don't care.
You can stand there and I think it's like you press down or something with a D-pad and
you scoop up snowballs and you can throw them at people.
You can kill people with them.
I'm not going to do that.
I'll just use my guns.
But yeah, I'm definitely going to play that a bit more.
Hopefully I don't get addicted and spend loads of money.
Don't spend any fucking money.
I won't, but I probably will.
And the other game, PUBG.
Are we back on PUBG?
We?
I was fucking trawling PUBG for a long time.
A long time and I was very good at it.
Very good at it.
I'm sorry I'm not on my game.
You want to know the only reason why I stopped playing PUBG?
Hit me.
Because Mark was constantly whinging.
Or it was me.
One of us was constantly whinging because of the length of the game.
45 minutes without seeing anyone.
You die at the end.
Imagine my surprise that Spider-Ham's got a chip on his shoulder.
Why?
Why has he got a chip on his shoulder?
He's just angry, isn't he?
He's an angry man.
What, he doesn't like PUBG?
Yeah.
Why doesn't he like PUBG?
You just said he doesn't like PUBG.
Who?
Spider-Ham.
Oh, Spider-Ham.
Sorry.
You know what the confusion is there?
I got a mate on PlayStation called Spider Stampy.
And I thought you were talking about him because I got him confused.
How would I know who the fuck Spider Stampy is?
I don't know.
I don't fucking know.
Yeah, we just got a bit annoyed because of how long the games were taking.
But I really, really, really liked that game.
So we've been playing Warzone.
I like Warzone.
I love Warzone.
It's a great crack with the boys.
But it is very apparent that I'm not good enough at it.
And well, most of us aren't good enough at it because our reaction speed is just
nowhere near on their level.
My brain cannot comprehend that I need to slide around a corner, shoot.
And whilst I'm shooting, I need to jump and bunny hop.
I can't do all that.
I am much more, so is Clarky.
We're much more of a daisy.
We're much more of a slower paced, tactical, use your brain, not your speed on your fingers.
And PUBG is a much more tactical...
I'm coming back.
PUBG is a much more tactical based shooting game where positioning, map knowledge,
thought and...
PUBG and H1Z1, PUBG more so than H1Z1, are where the real Battle Royale players have
come from and where they are.
It was always a long running thing that playing Fortnite and Warzone, things like that,
whilst not bad, not bad, but you're a bit of...
The levels are different.
It's like Battlefield versus Call of Duty.
Battlefield is naturally harder.
It takes more skill to be very good at Battlefield than it does Call of Duty.
That's just a fact.
Call of Duty is more arcadey than it is on Battlefield.
Also, the movements are completely different.
And like you say, they're pissing around with fucking sprint canceling and fucking dolphin
diving and all that weird bullshit.
And then you've got the fucking builders in Fortnite, people on crack just fucking building
mansions in.5 of a second.
It gets to a point where if you...
Like you say, if your reaction times aren't quick enough, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't
be any good at fucking Warzone or Fortnite anymore.
I wouldn't be any good at it.
But like you say, PUBG is far more tactical.
You have to be far more...
It's not about getting the most amount of kills and how cool you can make it look and
how fast and things like that.
It is about, I need to see out the end of this game.
I need to get to the end and kill whoever the last person is.
That is it.
I need to survive.
It's tactical.
It's a tactical shooter and you need to think carefully about your resources.
And your guns and everything.
When you pick up a smoke grenade on PUBG, that shit is gold.
You know what I mean?
It's not just a smoke grenade.
It's a life saving...
And you need to be careful on your vehicles, your fucking where you're landing.
You have to think these are long games that you're playing.
Yesterday I killed a man.
He was just laying by a tree.
And that's the way I explain it to Clarkie.
He was there next to me.
I had an SKS and I zoomed in because I had a decent enough scope.
I was like, fuck, there's a man there.
And I shot him like three or four times.
And he died.
But whilst I was shooting him, he...
Obviously as soon as I shot him once, you could see that he was trying to stand up to get away.
It's not Call of Duty.
If you get caught laying down and you get shot and they hit you a few more, you're not getting up in time.
If that's Call of Duty, from laying down to getting shot, you've already sprinted, jumped and ran a quarter.
No, that's not how it works.
In PUBG, he got caught with his pants down and he's dead.
It takes about a second for you to get up.
You can't just go prone and then stand straight up.
And you've got...
It's got that DayZ feel, man.
It's very good.
Clarkie's banged on about it for years and I've dabbled in it with him.
Have you never played it properly before?
Yeah, I've played it, but not properly properly.
And we only played it last night, but it's definitely scratched it.
You've only just got into it?
No, I've played it.
No, no, no. I mean, recently. You haven't been playing it a couple of weeks.
You've only just scratched it.
Fucking hell. I'll download it. I'll download it and the three of us will play it.
Clarkie will love it. Clarkie's good at it.
He is pretty good at it.
I'm currently searching my Facebook because I remember years ago I put a couple of clips up.
There's a clip on here of me smacking someone around the head with a frying pan.
Like I say, realism.
Clarkie's telling me, always pick the frying pans up because even if you have them on your back, it stops bullets.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
PUBG is such a proper battle royale.
You know, it's still got a mad player base.
Of course it does because it's fucking good. Really fucking good.
It's where you go to get away from sweaty people.
And don't get me wrong, there are some sweats on PUBG, but it's a different kind of sweat.
Everyone I'm fighting is more or less level 500, which is a pain because I'm level like 40.
Clarkie's like 180.
Clarkie, when battle royale first became a thing and PUBG birthed this fucking genre, Clarkie bought an Xbox solely to play PUBG because he was like, I need to play this game.
And then he obviously came back to the light side of the PlayStation and then it's released on there and yada yada yada.
But he's always championed PUBG as the GOAT.
And I agree with him because PUBG is the GOAT.
It's just much more on my speed. Laying down in a bush, you're not getting spotted unless you're moving about.
You can, you know, it's camping, but it's tactical. What we like to call it is tactical waiting.
I was going to say tactical wanking.
Tactical waiting in a bush and you're like, right, see a man, wait till he stops shooting me in the head.
And it's a one shot head shot unless they've got a certain helmet on, which is also adds to realism, which means if I hadn't pulled this shot off, they're dead.
Also the bullet drops mad. Yeah. So it's no lie. Yesterday I was shooting someone. They had no idea where I was. Bang, bang, bang.
I had so many free shots at this geezer. Missed every single one because he's too far away and I couldn't adjust the bullet velocity.
You know, the bullet drop. But I like that because that means they can't fucking shoot me that easy either.
So you still much like Daisy, I need to get out of the call of duty mindset.
If I shoot someone and I miss, it doesn't mean they know where I am.
If I just lay down quickly, they'll be like, where's that call of duty? But I say, is it up there? Is it the tower?
And even when you, when you get hit by a bullet, it doesn't do a fantastic job of telling you where you've been hit.
No, your armor or whatever will decrease where you've been hit. So you'll know.
But also if you hit someone and hit them hard, you can get over there and finish them. They won't have healed enough.
There's no like instant healing. You can't heal in half a second on code. You have to take the bandage or the Medicaid.
Then you have to drink your Coke or Red Bull and eat painkillers. There's a lot more to it.
That's not for everyone, but that's much more my speed. I'm an old school gamer, much more.
I like military simulators rather than arcade shooters. Warzone tried the realism mode in Warzone 2 and people hated it.
I liked it. I liked it because it was adding things in your backpack. Then people don't like that. They like the fast archaic shooter.
Yeah, because everyone was like, oh, it's like escape from Tarkov type.
Yeah, but I like that more. But the game was not good because it was buggy and it was shit.
If I would much prefer to keep it a slower paced experience. But obviously the co-community is more known for arcade shooters.
So in that respect, they went back to their roots, which don't get me wrong. Warzone is fantastic.
I have a great time with it, but PUBG is more my speed. Yeah, PUBG is fucking fantastic.
It's a very large cult following that definitely has its niche that has been.
If you if you chances are, if you don't already play or have played PUBG and you're playing Warzone or Fortnite, you aren't going to go over to PUBG.
I don't think they're too. Sorry. It's a completely different beast.
But like you say, some people like that realism. Some people don't. My my my.
Genesis is H1Z1. That is my penultimate and always will be.
PUBG then released on the PlayStation. Me and Mark give it a go.
And it's a steep learning curve. It's difficult, but we loved it and started to get very good at it.
And I can't describe the feel of. Like you say, having something like an SKS and killing someone with a headshot.
It's from quite a distance. It feels the same as Daisy. It's a buzz.
Yeah, it feels fantastic and it felt so good on H1Z1 as well.
The bit that let H1Z1 down is just the graphics, the graphics.
And it felt a bit janky. But as a battle royale, that is for me is the number one.
How it's doing now, I can't imagine it's doing fantastic, but I haven't fucking played it for a long time.
Which one? H1Z1? Yeah, I didn't know. It's still a thing.
I don't know. I haven't honestly haven't got a clue. I have to Google it.
The only trouble with PUBG is the fucking, if you just walk into that game blind, the controls are mental.
There's so many different buttons to do stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fucked.
It's hard, but the buttons are always up at the side if you need them. So it's easy to quickly look.
I think the three big battle royales, PUBG, Warzone and Fortnite. I think all three of them have their USP.
Their unique selling point for me. You go PUBG, realism.
Fortnite, cosmetics. Warzone, graphics. And that's that.
Because if PUBG had Warzone graphics, fuck me. Jesus.
In August 2017, the game's title dropped the H1Z1 brand name becoming simply Just Survive.
The game was delisted from the Steam store on August 26th, 2018 and its servers shut down on October 24th, 2018.
Yeah, I thought I heard it die. The H1Z1 did die.
And that is such a shame because that was such a fucking good game.
Find the PUBG numbers. I'm very sad about that, you know.
I'll hold you after. Find the PUBG numbers. Find out what the players are like on the stream.
I'm very sad about that. I left a text mark there.
For some reason, PUBG Mobile is almost always the most watched thing on YouTube live. I don't know why. Weird.
The PUBG player account. I don't want the Steam charts, so do I?
I played one game on Wednesday night before I told Clarky that I downloaded it. It was like a little surprise for him.
And I accidentally joined a quad game. And my own teammates killed me, smoke grenade me and then proceeded to tea bag me.
Fantastic. So PUBG Online. Online players.
This is a live player account, by the way. So this is real time, up to the hour.
So in the last hour, there has been 550,107 users.
Is this across all or Steam?
This is across all, I think.
Half a million, bro.
Is this so players can't play the game? How many players playing it on a monthly average together with the number of maximum players at peak?
See live count currently playing. The count changes as you refresh the page since PUBG players worldwide started playing and ending their gaming session.
So, yeah, I think it is across all platforms.
Active players for the last 30 days.
319,186,336.
Twitch watched hours in the last 30 days. 9,405,625.
And then peak viewers has been for the last 30 days is 73,896.
It's doing very well still.
It's active. It's still here.
Very active.
When was this? So what is this? Player unknowns, battlegrounds, live player count chart.
What day was that then?
Fuck me.
It's good. It's giving me a chart of the numbers and they're just not average monthly player base since 2021 has really not changed.
I don't know what the fuck happened between November and December 2021. It dropped off a cliff.
But it's last 30 days is, yeah, is around 302 million.
It's doing alright.
I mean, I think you'll have a field day because I don't know when you last played it, but even Clarkie always dips in once a year.
He'll just disappear for three months and play PUBG on his own.
And even when we went back last time, he's like, oh, this is in here now. This is cool. They've changed this.
So whenever you last played, it might be mental for you.
The amount of different things that are on there.
December 2021, its player count for that month was three hundred and twenty six million two hundred and fifteen thousand twenty twenty one.
So in December.
Twenty twenty three is three hundred and two million eight hundred and three thousand.
So for a two year gap, you really haven't lost that many players in total.
And that is up from 16 million from last month.
So from November to now, 16 million extra people have decided to jump on PUBG just for fun.
So ridiculous.
In September, it was two hundred and eighty four million.
So you've gone from two hundred and eighty four million to three hundred and nineteen in three months.
It's very good. There must be something.
I'd love to know what the COD numbers war zone, the war zone player count is.
I wonder if they've got a live.
Well, they do. It must be more than that.
It's more than what you said a minute ago because it PUBG steam charts update less than an hour ago.
That was four hundred and ninety thousand. That's just steam.
So there's got to be more on the console as well.
Maybe apparently the modern warfare live player count at the moment is four hundred and thirty thousand six hundred and forty four.
And the active player is PUBG still popular in twenty twenty three.
First released at the start of twenty seventeen PUBG Battlegrounds, previously known as Player Unknown Battlegrounds, one of the most popular games on Steam still and had over four hundred and fifteen thousand peak concurrent players in the last recorded month of September twenty twenty three.
It's still fucking huge.
PUBG is currently beating Warzone by a fat margin in terms of so last thirty days for Warzone is seventy million and PUBG is three hundred and ninety.
I'm looking forward to playing that.
It's it's possibly the biggest because what what you have with PUBG, unlike Warzone and and Fortnite is it is extremely popular in the Asian continent of the world.
It is fucking huge over there on the other side of the planet.
It is massive and especially the mobile version because mobile gaming is fucking huge over there as well.
And what isn't on mobile Fortnite?
Yes, is it? Yeah.
Well, it can't be as good as fucking PUBG then.
Is Warzone on Warzone? Isn't it? No, is it not?
No, it is or it's coming because they're doing for dance.
Can't I remember them announcing the first Warzone maps coming?
No, either way, they're not as good as PUBG, obviously, because PUBG might just PUBG might just be better to play on phone.
You know, some games don't translate so well to mobile.
I think. No, ignore me.
OK, I will.
Fortnite is an interesting beast.
Downloaded it.
Did you play your Lego Minecraft?
I did. So I downloaded it.
I download it for one reason, one reason only.
Get them V-Bucks, baby.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles dropped.
So went on there, bought my boy Leonardo, played one game, turn it off.
But I got Leonardo.
You're incredible. Cost me 15 quid.
Fuck me. I needed my favorite turtle, bro.
Yeah, great. Did you play the Minecraft?
Yes, I did. Did you like it?
It was cool, man. I think it's good. It's got a little bit of fucking for shaz.
I don't know what that word is, but I made it up and it's cool.
For shaz, it's got like. It's just Lego survival.
Yeah, but I didn't expect that from Fortnite.
It's like separate mode.
You have to eat, you have to stay warm.
Steph's been playing it.
It's like DayZ.
Yeah, it's a survival game.
Yeah, but I just didn't expect that.
Survival with Lego is great.
A lot of your characters that you have turn into Lego characters.
Therefore, like all the turtles and stuff.
So you have your little Lego dude, which is very cool as well.
Because all the characters you previously bought,
90% of them now can be used in Lego form.
When you buy skin, he's not available.
When you buy skin, you're also going to get a Lego counterpart with it.
So it's even more valuable for your money.
I still think Fortnite miles ahead on anyone with cosmetics.
And, you know, obviously they have massive crossovers and stuff.
It's fantastic.
I never knew they were in partnership with Lego.
I don't know.
Neither did anybody until last week.
They are.
Yeah.
So Fortnite is the beast that evolves and changes with the times.
And it'll only get bigger.
They've got some racing thing on there now, which is equally massive.
Rocket racing.
That's what I mean.
So I'm once again in a position where I've gone from Kingdom Come Deliverance,
Diablo 3, Warzone, DayZ, to Fortnite, God of War, Valhalla,
PUBG.
I'm just, I'm the gift that keeps on giving.
Fortnite is very unique in a sense that it is an absolute amalgamation of all
different games for which they steal a lot of their fucking ideas are stolen.
And a lot of them are then developed and made better than the original.
But don't discount the fact that they just steal a lot of their fucking ideas
because they do.
They're copycats.
All PUBG.
They're copycats.
But they do it very well.
And it's very unique in a sense that they just keep adding different games to
this game.
So it's no longer just a battle royale.
It's now a fucking racer.
It's now a survival game.
You've now got all the different modes.
It's now fucking got like Roblox in it and the weird shit's going on.
When I downloaded Fortnite the other month and then turned it on,
I was so incredibly overwhelmed.
I played two games and then when I went to that,
is that a main menu?
What the fuck was it?
Where you can just pick.
I was like, no, this is built for a six year old.
I'm not interested in this.
There's too much color here.
See you later.
Yeah.
You've got zero build.
You've got normal build.
You've got Lego.
You've got the racing.
You've got community made maps.
Challenges.
You can go and play squid games.
There was far too much shit going on.
I was like, what is this?
I was like, I don't understand what any of this is.
This is not for me.
See you later.
I'll tell you what it is.
One word, playground.
Yeah.
And that is what everyone loves.
It's a playground.
It's a playground built for 10 year olds.
Well, it's not.
Adults can play it too.
It's a great battle royale.
It genuinely is.
But it's also got that really good COVID thing where no one could go and interact.
So they go in the digital world and they play fucking squid games in Fortnite or whatever.
Fortnite is a very good game.
It's not for me.
I was one of the OGs.
Fucking loved it.
Now it's just not for me.
I feel that they've gone too far.
But they are fucking raking it in.
And they do very well.
Other people can build a very fortunate life out of playing things like Fortnite and doing different things on Fortnite.
That Lego survival mode seems fantastic.
It looks very good.
Very funny.
Anything with Lego slapped on it tends to be decent.
I don't think Lego won't allow themselves to be associated with something that isn't good.
Namely one thing to do with Lego that wasn't good.
Other than the abhorrent fucking detrimental effects they have on our environment.
Other than that, Lego is all right.
I've lost my Nintendo Switch.
So my boy is two.
My daughter's got a Nintendo Switch.
She stuck a hair band in the cartridge thing and bent all the pins so you can't put games in there no more.
So all her games have to be digital.
She's got Lego undercover.
She's a smart girl.
Why is she shoving hair bands in the...
This was when she got it two years ago.
Lego undercover is basically like GTA but Lego.
You're a policeman so when you nick a car you're like, please can I borrow a rickshaw?
I'm a police officer.
So it's friendly.
But yeah, she's got that on there.
Tommy, my boy, has gone wild for it.
He can't stop playing it.
And the way he plays it is humorous but genius.
He has a whole hand on one stick.
But then he manages to use his thumb and his fingers to run it.
And he's worked all out himself.
He's playing the claw set up.
Yeah, but he's only got little hands.
I don't know how he's doing it.
But I'm watching him and he's getting in cars.
He's driving, he's reversing, he's going around.
Occasionally he'll get the car stuck and he'll be like, daddy help.
And I'll just get out of the car and nick another one.
And I'll be like, there, I solved the problem.
But yeah, he's loving it.
He's absolutely loving it.
And as you know, he is absolutely mental over dinosaurs.
He just everything's dinosaurs.
All he cares about is dinosaurs.
Have you ever taken him to the Natural History Museum?
No, but we went to...
Oh my God.
We went to a dinosaur place up in London.
And he went mad for it.
Why have you never taken him there?
Because he's too young to go to a museum.
He don't give a fuck.
He'll just be running around like a lunatic.
Yeah, but there are dinosaurs everywhere.
Yeah, when he's a bit older, 100%.
We did this with Harry Potter.
Yeah, my daughter's not watching Harry Potter yet.
So yeah, I was in Smiths the other day and I thought, fuck it.
I'll have a look for a dinosaur Lego game.
And there is.
Yeah, yeah.
Jurassic World Lego.
Yeah.
So I snagged that for him on the Switch.
And I was like, do I buy it for the PlayStation?
Because they keep fighting over the PlayStation.
They're fighting over the Switch.
I was like, fuck it.
I'll buy it for the Switch.
But the Switch is my daughter's.
So I was like, do I buy a game for his daughter's, his sister's fucking game console?
I was like, do you know what?
Fuck it.
It's his birthday in February.
He's going to be free.
So what I'm going to do is we're going to get my daughter's Switch.
We're going to put it in a box.
We're going to wrap it up.
Yeah, he's going to open it.
He's going to have his own Switch.
And I'm going to give my daughter my Switch, which she can put in the cart.
Because she's got like five, six games.
She's got Mario Kart, Mario Party, fucking Super Mario, all that shit.
But she can't play them all because she fucked the pins in the other one.
But now she's going to be able to play all her old games on my Switch.
And I think she's learned her lesson not to put things in the game cartridge a lot.
So she's going to have a brand new Switch essentially because mine's barely scratched or nothing.
So yeah, she's going to have a new Switch.
He's going to be able to play his Jurassic Park.
And we're all good.
And I told her the other day, we sat down.
We said that this is the plan.
How do you feel about it?
She was like, yeah, of course she's going to be happy.
She's got a brand new Switch to power her old games.
I love the idea that you've sat down with your kid, like a conference meeting, and you've gone,
look, these are the plans that we've drafted up.
Let us know if it qualifies.
She was happy with it.
And we'll proceed with this.
She sat there and gone, sweet.
Yeah, it looks all right.
That's exactly.
That right there that you presented to me, Dad, is exactly what I expected.
This is acceptable.
This is what we wanted in the board meeting.
You may go.
Profit margins are up by 40%.
Fantastic.
But yeah, then the next morning I got up for work and my brother-in-law was there to bridge the gap between my wife working nights and sitting with the kids.
And I heard her.
So Tommy's getting Jurassic red.
I was like, shut up.
He's sitting right there.
Just, shush, it's a secret.
She was like, whoops.
Fuck's sake.
So yeah, it's great because obviously it means he gets a great birthday present.
And I haven't done it for this reason, but it means it's going to cost me very little for his birthday because he's getting a Switch.
There is not about the fucking money.
No, no, of course it's not.
Of course it's not.
But yeah, so everyone's a winner there.
So I can't wait to see him open that game because he's going to go nuts.
He's obsessed with this Lego game.
Well, I mean, obsessed.
He loves it.
So when he sees that there's a Lego dinosaur one, bro, he's going to lose his mind.
He's going to be great.
I can't wait.
I'm going to have to get it all installed.
He's going to scream, smash the Switch into the floor because he's so happy.
That's fine.
Don't worry about it.
I'm going to have to install it Christmas Eve.
So it's all ready to go.
So he's just going to open the box and be like, well, it's really good to go.
So yeah, I'm really excited for that.
But yeah.
How you doing on Days Gone?
Yeah, decent.
I've been admittedly been a couple of days since I last played it.
Well, I was playing it before you got here because I've just been.
Wow.
Just fucking eating my bollocks.
But Days Gone.
Oh, I love it.
It feels so nice, man.
It feels so good that even the fucking movement when you sprint that I can't describe it.
Just how that feels.
Feels so good.
What I will add, though, is when you're clearing out nests, I don't understand why he's having orgasms while he's doing it.
Yeah, he just makes some questionable sounds.
I don't get why he's doing that.
I've got to get these fucking nests.
I can smell them.
What are you doing, man?
Just fucking burn the cunts.
Why are we wanking off to this?
I used to love the way that he used to talk in that because it's like he's going a little bit mental and he's like talking to himself.
I like the way it does it.
I understand where he was going with the voice acting on it because it's getting across that hole.
You're in the zombie apocalypse.
You're fucking you're naked.
You're trying to catch your breath.
You're always up against it.
However, the play style that I am currently, I am not up against it.
I am taking my time and I have having plenty of rests.
So there's no reason why you should be out of breath running around going, I can smell them.
So what the fuck is happening?
Well, what is going to shut up?
I need a feature to shut him up because it's so annoying.
You can't shut Sam Witwer up.
He is Darth Maul.
No, I know.
It's good.
It's just a bit creepy when he's saying how horribly, how horrible these nests smell and all this shit.
And he's like, fucking kill these nests.
It's funny when you do it.
It's like, stop.
Just stop.
But the game itself.
Yeah, no, it's fucking sick, man.
Have you dealt with a horde yet?
Yeah.
Yeah, cool.
Well, I've dealt with a fucking horde.
Why is that replicated in another game?
Oh my God.
Oh my fucking God.
All I was doing was going, I was on my way to a mission.
I stopped off at one of those camp things, one of the Nero sites where you got to cut the speakers off and shit like that.
And I stopped my bike before the site and thought I'll walk in because I don't know what's going to, what's knocking around here.
I've done a couple of them at this point, so I knew how to do them and what to expect.
But I didn't expect this.
And the one I went to, there's a pit next to it just filled with bodies, like a burning pit type thing or mass graveyard.
And I could just see like the corner of it.
And I was like, I know what that is instantly.
As I'm approaching this Nero site, I'm in a bush.
And obviously your minimap is all red markers and shit.
So I know there's a couple I can hear them.
And I take out the couple ones that are knocking around.
And then I get closer to the Nero site and I'm scoping out trying to figure out how I can get in stuff.
And all of a sudden I hear loads of noise.
And I mean loads of it.
And I thought, I know what that is.
That's zombies.
But it sounds like there's loads of them.
And there was nothing on the map, nothing on the minimap.
I'm like, where the fuck is this?
I'm still in the bush.
And I peer around the corner to this building because I haven't figured out yet how to get on top of it to cut the speakers off.
And there's a fucking gigantic horde.
It's fucking huge.
There's about a hundred zombies there.
I was like, oh my God.
I've just got a pistol with five bullets in it and that's it.
That is all I have.
I needed to get some fucking wood for my crossbow.
I didn't have any bullets in my primary.
I was fucked.
I was like, oh my God.
That's fucking ridiculous.
So I'm in a bush and I thought, I'm in a bush.
I'll be fine here.
And that horde made its way directly towards me.
Hadn't seen me, but I was like, oh shit.
Hart was genuinely racing because I'm like, I don't know.
They've cut me off from my bike.
What am I supposed to do?
And one of them, like in a scene from Walking Dead or some shit, veers away from the horde.
How that works procedurally, because I'm definitely certain that that horde isn't coded in for fucking sporadic movement like that.
They all follow a path and they all stay within that path.
Well, this cunt didn't.
Walk straight to literally smack bang towards me into me in this bush.
Obviously it's tagged me in it.
It's now kicked off.
I can't, I haven't been able to kill it because it never prompted up because it had obviously seen me before.
So the whole horde kicks off and just sprinting.
Obviously, my stamina is not that great.
I'm early into the game and I've got no bullets.
I made the foolish mistake of turning around, try to kill people.
It's not going to happen.
What am I going to do?
I've got fucking five bullets in a pistol.
What I did find was a bin and I jumped in the bin.
I ran around the corner, jumped in the bin before they see me, but they're still chasing me.
Didn't think in that they wouldn't see me and that they would dissipate.
They would go away.
They fucking didn't.
Half of that horde disappeared.
The other half stood on the bin, on the bin.
And I was there for 10 minutes waiting for them to go.
And after 10 minutes, I was like, they ain't going.
So I had to jump out the bin.
Naturally, they absolutely battered me.
And then back.
Obviously, I died and then spawned back on my bike.
Reset it all.
Same shit again.
The horde still there.
One of them see me from a distance.
They're chasing me again.
This happened about four times.
And then what the final time it happened was I managed to get the facility up and running.
Forgot to take out one of the speakers.
So the whole fucking horde has made a beeline for this speaker.
I'm hiding in a bush.
What I did was repeatedly just threw Molotovs at them.
Just Molotovs and Molotovs.
Killed them all except for about five of them.
And then managed to take them out and make my way in.
But that was my first interaction with that horde.
And it was fucking terrifying.
I hated it.
And then a little while later, I was clearing out another section of nests.
And I couldn't find the third nest.
And it was along this waterway.
And I'd done two of them.
And I was like, where's the third one?
So I followed the road that I was on.
And again, heard the same noise.
And I was like, I know exactly what that is.
Drove away, hid in a bush, got my binoculars out.
And like a scene from a movie, just watched this horde just walking down from this cliff.
I was like, what the fuck?
Sure enough, the nest is right fucking there.
It's right there where they are.
So I went over to try and drag them away to then go back and take it out.
They managed to knock me off my bike, kill me.
But what happened is when I spawned back, the horde disappeared.
And I spawned right outside the nest.
I was like, oh, that works for me.
Nice one.
But they're horrible.
They're fucking horrible.
They're fantastic.
But why no one has replicated that?
Why not?
Looks fucking great.
Looks exactly how the gameplay trailer was.
Terrifying.
It's great.
You wait till you see the big one.
Yeah, because these aren't big hordes.
I know they get bigger.
I think it's called the lumber mill or the saw mill.
Yeah, that's the one that's in the gameplay trailer and stuff.
Obviously, I platinumed it, so I've done all the hordes, I think.
But yeah, that one is, you know, I'm fully geared.
I've got all the best items, all the best guns, all the best ammo, all the amount of it.
And yeah, that takes some fucking doing, boy.
That takes some doing.
But I tell you what, what a game.
It's great.
It's fantastic.
And the graphics are fucking great.
And there was a guy propped up against a car with his face ripped off.
And I got my binoculars out and zoomed in.
And the details on it are so incredible for a game that come out in 2016.
They are great.
I'm talking, you can see the guy's jaw has been ripped off.
And you can see all the way back to his fucking molars.
And some of them have got steel flesh in them, some of them ain't.
His eye, like, bearing in mind, half of his face is fucking ripped off and dangling down.
You can see like his eyeballs all red and like the detail of it.
And then the mold from, sorry, not the mold, the transition from ripped flesh to the other side of his face where it hasn't been ripped off.
It's not like hard cut and paste.
It's you can see the tear marks where his face has been ripped off.
I was like, that's such a cool added detail for something that's just propped up against a car.
That most people won't even see.
Yeah. I was like, that's so, I love it.
Such an underrated game.
So underrated.
That's why it's a cult classic.
That's why, like I said last week, it's the classic consumer versus a critic.
Because consumers love it, critics hate it.
It makes no sense.
The guns feel great.
The movement feels great.
The story at the moment feels great.
I haven't got bored a single time.
The resources are plentiful, but necessary.
And it's just that great feeling of just driving along on your bike.
The bike sounds really good.
Peaceful, but terrifying.
And you see a little gas station.
So you go and fuel up.
You hop off.
You go in this building, do some looting, try to get some resources.
The driving's a tiny bit janky.
It will be for a while.
But my bike hasn't been upgraded properly yet.
I tell you what, I watched a video and I'm 99% sure it's days gone by.
The days gone by is actually a car.
They built it as a car and removed two of the wheels.
But that does get better the more you upgrade the bike and you get used to it.
Yeah, my bike has got two upgrades on it so far.
Nothing crazy.
But it's just, I'm having a lot of fun.
I definitely will finish it because it is extremely fun.
You're killing zombies.
I don't think there's ever a time when that isn't fun.
But the story so far is feeling really fucking good.
It's like Daryl Dixon, the guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pretty much.
It's fantastic.
It's just how it is a shame how badly it's flown under the radar
because of whatever it released next to it.
I can't remember what it was.
And like you say, the critics of it shitting on it.
It's fucking great.
Really good.
And I think we should end it there.
If you haven't played days, go and play it.
Merry Christmas, guys.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Have a lovely day and have a lovely, lovely box in there.
Why'd you say it like that?
My tongue twisted.
See you later.
Bye.