Let's a go, it's a me, a Mario.
Oh, I've got 2713 PlayStation star points.
That is...
That equates to how much money?
£10.
Is it?
I think I've got like £600, something like that.
I was reading earlier, you can get,
the PlayStation kind of botched it a little bit,
so you can kind of get infinite money,
which is an interesting hack.
So you can use your points to get vouchers,
you can get like a £60 voucher,
but then when you buy that voucher, you get points,
and then when you spend that voucher, you get points,
so you can just repeat the cycle.
I'm sure eventually it levels itself out, no?
Oh, I don't know. It was Google, I read it,
and instantly I just believe everything I see on the internet.
Useful work, that's that then.
That's that, that is that.
Yeah, so that's cool.
Where should we start?
I've got so much to discuss, many things.
Do you like the logos?
I love the logos.
They're cool, aren't they?
I think they're great.
It's a nice little change.
Fantastic work.
If...
We're all involved.
If the people don't know, we, well, I say we,
Steph designed a logo specifically for when she's doing an episode,
and it's called a Stephisode, and it's very nice colours.
I'm very happy with them, and...
We're very happy with them.
We are very happy with them.
I think they're beautiful.
And then she designed another one for the patron,
which has some lightsabers thrown into it,
and it's the old typical fucking red and blue Star Wars colours.
I just love the way you scroll through,
and you can just see like the pink and that,
and it just mixes it up, doesn't it?
It looks nice, man.
So I went back and I changed the logo on every single episode
that me and Steph have done just to make it stand out a lot more,
and that's how it worked going forward.
Not to fucking set anything apart.
It's just so that people know who's on what episode.
And it looks cool as fuck.
Yeah.
I don't know if anyone else does that.
I've never seen that before.
No.
I just thought it was quite decent.
Just pioneers of our craft, aren't we?
But she had that...
Because obviously she's an artist, and I am very much not.
So from a creativity point of view, I'm fucking lacklustre,
and we've been over that before.
So whenever Steph has made stuff for us in the past,
and then these logos especially,
she's obviously spent a lot of time on them.
And then I feel like she suffers from,
when she's looking at it all the time,
she's seeing stuff that I'm not seeing.
So when she was showing them, she was like,
is that good?
And then me fucking Labrador I am was like,
yeah, that's fucking sick.
Yeah, let's keep that.
I might change this.
I might do that.
And then I might do this.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no, it's fine.
So yeah, but if I do that,
then it's going to look better and better.
And so I drag her away from the computer, go leave it.
It's fine.
It looks fantastic.
But no, very, very happy with them.
Very happy.
What it does do is open up more scope on merch and shit like that.
I want to start looking at like wooly hats and things now that we're getting into the winter.
Definitely want a wooly hat.
I definitely want a wooly hat.
I just want to figure out...
I rock that shit every day.
I just want to figure out how design wise what it is that you'd put on.
I'm thinking maybe like our three emblems, something like that.
Something along those lines or WTB.
I don't know.
Something on the drawing board,
but definitely something that I want to do or that we want to do.
You feel me?
Feeling you.
Where do we want to start?
I've got so many things to talk about.
Mine's all wow.
I've just been playing wow.
No one wants to hear that.
I've just been playing all wow.
I'll give you the topics and you can choose.
Kingdom Come Deliverance,
Risk of Rain 2,
Call of Duty,
Diablo 4,
DayZ.
I don't want to hear about Call of Duty or Diablo 4.
Okay.
Skip them absolute shitters out of the way.
What do you want to hear about?
You've been playing Deliverance?
Kingdom Come Deliverance?
Yeah, I had it before.
What is that?
That's a fucking strategy game, isn't it?
No, no, no.
It's a medieval simulator, basically.
It is a simulator.
It's historically accurate.
There's no dragons or shit in it.
It's solely about Bohemia and an invasion and stuff like that.
Is that not the one where I can see people running around with the Yooka-Laylee thing?
The loot?
No.
They're like ding-a-ding-a and then they bash someone over the head with it.
I don't think so.
I mean, we can have a look at it.
It's a game that came out in 2017 or something like that.
It came out.
It was all right.
I enjoyed it, but I never finished it.
It's so fucking hardcore.
It's hard to get to grips with.
But I gave it to my friend, Jimmy, if you will.
I gave him the game because he was so interested in it.
When he left the company that he worked at, I gave it to him as a parting gift.
I think he might have given it back to me now.
I can't remember.
But I gave it to him to keep, regardless.
I was looking the other day and it popped up and I've been looking at buying it again.
The Royal Edition, which comes with all the DLC, was £4 on PlayStation Store.
The normal version was like £35.
I was like, I'll have the Royal Edition, please.
So I downloaded it and I've jumped back in and I'm slowly working my way through that.
I don't think you'd like anything to do with it.
I don't think you've got the patience for that sort of stuff.
You know yourself.
You know you wouldn't have the patience for that.
I'm better than you at Elden Ring.
I've got the patience.
It's not that sort of patience, mate.
It's completely different.
Is it like For Honor?
It's got this For Honor style combat.
But the mechanics basically of DayZ.
So you get hungry, you get thirsty.
Oh yeah, no, I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm switched straight away.
I'm switched off.
But yeah, that's as hardcore as they come for medieval games.
I've just had a medieval itch that's needed scratching.
So I've been playing that.
I've also been playing Diablo 4 for my medieval itch, which you don't want to talk about.
Nevertheless, I don't know why I downloaded it again.
There's no rhyme or reason to it.
I just did.
I put it on and I was like, this sucks.
And then after about an hour of it sucking, I was like, I'm loving this.
This is great.
And bearing in mind, my barbarian, which I started before season one, when the game first came out,
he's level 61 and I started season two, skip season one, with the rogue.
And he is like level 55.
I've only been playing like a week, week and a half.
So they've leveled, they're 40% increase in level speed, which is much better.
And it's season of blood, which is all about vampires and all the cosmetics from the battle pass are sick.
I got the battle pass essentially for free because it came with the edition that I bought.
So I redeemed it for this season.
So I'm trying to work my way through that.
I've got some cool stuff.
Says that Diablo 4 currently averages 314,000 players a day and has attracted a total of 4,715,000 active users over the last 30 days.
And that was from that was November.
So very, very recent, which still shows a healthy player base.
There's something there.
Yeah, it's just it's just I don't know.
It's just got something that I really like about it.
And it's yeah, it didn't start off great, granted, but they're making the right noises.
They're making the right improvements.
Why didn't it start?
Because what started off really well?
What what actually happened to it?
Because I know I remember I remember whinging about the the season system and the having to create another character and level that up again.
And I never I didn't really understand it.
I'm not much of a Diablo fan.
And when I was asking everyone to explain it to me, it wasn't that everyone was acting like I was stupid, but they were kind of like, how are you playing Diablo?
And you don't you don't know this is this is a system that's been in place for a while.
And then it seems like when it come out, everyone was complaining about the said system that I didn't fucking understand and saying how stupid it was.
So I don't get what I'll tell you why that why that happened is because Diablo four has came out, dropped a bomb and gone.
Here's Diablo four.
Everyone's gone. This is amazing.
This is fantastic.
I love this.
And they're all new people.
So all the new people when the season one came out, they're like, what?
So again, yeah, fuck that.
Yeah.
So then people that are not used to that leave and then the main stayers are still there.
And I'll be honest, we spoke about it almost entirely for an episode.
Just going.
We did.
How the fuck does it work?
Right.
Circling back to it.
But I'll be honest, it does work.
And it's fucking it's proper freshen the game up.
It makes it so much more interesting.
So essentially, obviously you've got your mob, Ragnar, who's the main dude.
He's on the eternal realm now, which is obviously just like a separate thing.
And then the seasonal realm, which is where all the seasonal stuff is happening.
So in where Ragnar lives, there's nothing going on.
It's just the normal games.
So if you log in there, nothing's happening in this one.
You've got vampires running about a spawning in behind you.
You've got all vamp vampiric powers, blood to collect.
There's loads of stuff going on.
But essentially, all the items and stuff that you collect or trans mobs and all that sort of stuff, you'll keep forever.
So there'll be new items and things to collect and you'll keep them forever.
So the trans mob, once you've unlocked them, obviously they can go on any character in the future.
It feels like Expeditions or No Man's Sky.
Kind of, yeah.
You can kind of put it like that.
I mean, these characters, whereas Expeditions, they kind of just die and there's nothing.
You can always play these again.
So once the season's over, my rogue will move to the eternal realm.
And some things do move over to the eternal realm as well, depending.
So they just cherry pick what works, basically.
They use the seasonal model as a test to see what people like.
If they like it, they'll implement it into the thing.
But the way I see it, I don't see why anyone would play the eternal realm because there's nothing really going on.
Once this season ends, you'll just jump into the next season and then start a new character.
But obviously, you'll have your trans mobs available and yadda, yadda, yadda.
I get the system and I am with it because essentially, at the end of the day, leveling is fun.
Grinding, smashing thousands of mobs up is fun.
You get so many levels when you start due to just the progression that you've had in the game.
You automatically collect renown in each area and they give you rewards like level up and stuff.
That carries across all characters.
So when you start a new character, you get all the benefits from what your other characters have done.
And yeah, leveling is the fun part.
And if I want to play rogue again next season, I'll just either build the same build that I've got now or try something different.
I suppose for me, it's the it.
It says to me that in terms of like having a main character, you don't necessarily stick with that main character,
like you say, because you go into the eternal realm and then there isn't really much going on.
So you're you're basically forced to play another character, which is how it's designed.
To me, I just don't like that system.
I don't I don't like the idea of that.
I can understand how that's fun and how it gets you to explore other things.
Because I suppose there's only so many times that you'd be able to make a rogue and still enjoy it.
You'd eventually go, oh, well, I'll try something else then like a monk or something like that.
So I understand it.
It's just for me, I think because I'm so ingrained in that having a main character and just fucking putting the hours into one thing,
just having to reset and reload.
I 100 percent 100 percent get what you're saying, because I am of exactly the same ilk as yourself in that.
And I just didn't think the seasonal model would be any interest to me.
But I've actually found it really enjoyable, surprisingly, because I suppose in this in this case,
you're building your account up as opposed to a character.
So your account's getting stronger and more powerful and more pretty to look at with the cosmetics unlocked.
And you can just implement them on any character.
I don't know. Obviously, they announced the expansion.
I don't know if that goes in the eternal realm.
I don't know how that works.
So you might jump.
Oh, yeah, they announced the expansion at BlizzCon.
They announced the expansion.
Oh, again, it's skewed for me because I'm so not interested in it.
I've got that perception that because I'm not interested in it, I don't see anything of Diablo.
I see nothing of it.
So I automatically assume, well, if I'm not seeing anything of it, then that means no one's interested in it.
You know what I mean? You get that that that algorithmic side where because you're not interested in stuff,
you're not actively seeing it.
So as far as you're perceiving, unless you actually give your head a wobble, that that subject has died.
You know what I mean?
100 percent understand.
So that's like, well, obviously, I'm proven wrong because there's over 300000 people every month playing this game.
So it's not dead.
It's just not for me.
It's not dead by any means.
It's thriving.
If anything is doing really well, obviously, it's going to fluctuate as all games do.
Life service and it started off really good and it dropped substantially.
But it was always going to because you got casuals coming in, doing the main story, never playing it again.
Look at New World.
When that first come out, Amazon's crack at an MMO and it was fucking mental.
It was massive, fucking huge.
And they ran into the problem of you've you've made a game that's just had some serious fucking influx of players.
You've now got to keep them.
And most people can't do that.
They can't figure that one out.
I see people sitting in queues for over an hour just to get on.
There's a new mode on on while classic called season of discovery that they announced at Blizzcon.
And it's basically taken inspiration from a private server called Ascension,
which is where you can just mix and match the classes.
You can be a warlock that can be a fucking tank and have like warrior abilities and shit like that.
Stop fucking warrior abilities just so you can like you can mailed anything you want.
Well, they've brought out their own version of it called seasons of discovery, which is like Diablo, a limited time thing.
It's not forever.
It's rotating.
And right now it's crazy popular.
I think it come out yesterday or Thursday, one of those two.
And yeah, like on the discord that I'm in, there's people sat in queues for like three hours and show that trying to get in.
They get in and then they just get murdered by a wolf and then boom, that's it.
Because you're going in starter zones where there's like 100 people.
There's only like five mobs to kill.
But it's not unlike retail now.
The mobs are tag shed.
So if someone attacks them and then you attack that mob as well, you will get a loot from it.
Whereas in old style World Warcraft, it was whoever tagged that mob or using the party with that person that tagged it.
You won't get in any fucking sliver of what it was going to drop.
So you're in a starter zone with 100 plus people, five mobs.
Everyone's just fucking waiting around for something to respawn because everyone else keeps tagging.
So it's that because it's new and spangled, everyone, everyone's fucking interested in it.
And like you say, eventually people will drop off and then the people that will stay are the other ones that were actually genuinely interested in it.
Yeah, I think I have genuinely interest in Diablo.
I'll be interested to see if it keeps me because I've been jumping on for a couple of hours every night and then moving on to DayZ or whatever I want to play.
But I've been playing it and yeah, I've got to level 55 or something on the battle pass.
Yeah, of 90 I think it is. And I want to get my money's worth out of it because I bought the big edition and cashed this battle pass in for free.
And obviously I'm unlocking loads of cosmetics and stuff which carry on.
But yeah, it's like an economy in the game. I'm constantly seeing people writing in the chat, trade fucking for whispering eyes for 10 slabs of darkness.
I just made them up. I don't know. But yeah, I don't know.
I have no idea. But they're always asking for stuff. I don't know what you're after, but good luck to you.
So there's obviously a reason people are trading and trying to do things. I know there's certain items you need to summon certain bosses which can drop.
I don't know if you heard, you probably did. There's like the ultimate, ultimate items in the game.
I can't remember what they're called. They're called like Uber Uniques or fucking some crazy shit.
They've got like one in a million drop rate or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about that?
They're buffed them. So they are obtainable now. They're not just some elusive item.
I mean they are elusive and you're very lucky to get one. But there is ways.
You can target farm them if you want to try and get them.
So people I think are using these items to then summon the boss to then try and get the item.
And obviously you can't keep doing it unless you got the item. So I think there's that kind of loop in there.
And obviously these items, when your character gets shifted over to the Eternal Realm, he'll take it with him.
So you always have it in your stash. You can't equip Eternal Realm items in seasonal mode, but you've got the item.
I don't know what the benefit is. That's still where I'm confused as to why would I spend all this time trying to get this mega powerful item.
But then I can only use it for this season and then what's the point?
So I don't understand. There must be a reason for the Eternal Realm to exist other than just seasonal.
So I think maybe expansions might come into play with it so you can jump into one of your characters.
But as long as I enjoy it as much as I am at the moment.
I'd like to think that it would be expansions would be on the Eternal Realm.
Yeah, it would be weird to do it in a seasonal way, wouldn't it?
Yeah, I suppose.
Because theoretically, if you buy an expansion you want to be able to do it whenever.
Seasonal is for a period of time, so it should have to be into Eternal.
Like you say, otherwise what's the point in having the Eternal Realm? They're just a fucking character holder.
Yeah, well essentially, that's what they're there for.
So you don't get that element of loss otherwise at least your character is still there.
Excuse me.
But yeah, as long as I'm enjoying it as much as I am next season, then I'm going to run a Necromancer next time.
So yeah, I'm expansion. I'm excited to continue playing Diablo.
I'm just going to Google quickly if it's on Eternal Realm because I don't understand.
I don't know how it's working.
When paid for expansions come out, will we have to make new characters?
I know seasons require new ones, that's fine with me.
But with the full expansions come out, will it continue to still have the original or the F20 ones?
I'm assuming you should be able to play with your original or the existing character for Eternal Realm.
I hope so. Story so far, same here.
Ten or more base levels from expansions.
It was like that in previous games, expecting same here.
So yeah, theoretically people are saying in Diablo 3 when they done expansions it was the Eternal Realm characters.
So yeah, there is a reason.
Yeah, I'm enjoying it.
Moving on, I guess to DayZ because I've had some fun in that.
That's been a fucking blast.
Hold on, let me recaffinate.
Big gulps, big big gulps.
That's made me really need a poo.
It's dangerous, I might have to stop it.
I'll try and get through.
No, you're powering through.
I'll try but I really, really might need a poo.
I don't know if there's any toilet roll in here.
To be honest with you, I don't care. If it's coming out, it's coming out.
There's not a lot I can do about it.
They've added an update which might pique your interest slightly.
There's a new feature in the game.
It's a feature but you would never know unless you looked into DayZ and was up to date with the news.
So essentially if me and you create a character, go onto the same server.
And then spawn in at the same time as new spawns.
We will spawn in the same place.
Decent, thanks fuck for that.
Not in the same place but we will be like...
You'll be in the same vicinity.
We'll be in the same area.
So you go, oh I see that tower, yeah I'll be there.
Yeah because trying to fucking find someone is a cunt.
It fucking sucks trying to find someone. I hate it.
Me and Clark have been playing a lot together.
Pretty much every life we've been together.
Making our way downtown, walking fast from home.
So we've been having a blast.
But I want to tell you a little story of what happened to me last night.
Go on, I'm listening.
I did screen record it or whatever you call it.
Capture it.
Screen capture.
But it hasn't gone onto my phone for some reason which is heartbreaking.
But...
Yeah sometimes it doesn't load properly, I don't know why.
There's a couple of maps on DayZ Vanilla.
So there's Livonia which is the DLC map which is the only map I've ever really played.
I'm never really bothered with Chernarus which is the main map.
But because I've been doing so much Livonia lately, I've decided, me and Clark have decided to go to Chernarus.
Which is the original map.
I don't know anything about Chernarus.
All the buildings are different.
I don't know where the loot spawns is.
It's all confusing to me but it's also exciting.
Agreed.
Because it's that sense of adventure, exploration and discovery which we all enjoy.
Because we're human beings.
I start.
It's very dark.
I see nothing.
I have a glow stick and a blue fruit.
Which can only be described as a plum.
Okay.
A plum.
Is it a plum?
I think they do give you plums when you start, yeah.
Not on Livonia they don't but in Chernarus they do.
I think it's a plum.
So I start with a plum.
I eat my plum.
I'm running around in the dark.
It's raining, it's storming.
I see Fuggle.
You're cold I presume.
Yeah I'm a little bit chilly.
I'm running down a train track.
It's safer than I.
There will be no trains.
They squash me.
I see a light in the distance.
Yeah.
I see a man.
We do the internationally respected and you know a couple of crouches to each other.
We know what's going on here.
He turns his mic on.
He says, yo what's happening Prince?
I say nothing.
I don't plug my mic in.
I have my mic on but I'm not talking.
So I give him the international.
Why?
A couple of crouches.
Well because my daughter was sitting next to me playing a game and he would have heard
like fucking Crazy Frog or something.
It would have been a complicated time.
So we did that.
He said, do you want to sit together?
So I did the up and down, up and down on the right stick nodding away.
He was like cool let's go.
So we're running off.
I'm just following a light in the distance.
We stopped off in a little garage.
He said he found me some shoes.
He said put them on Prince.
I said thank you.
I didn't say thank you but in my head I said thank you.
We got attacked by zombies.
We sprinted around, found a car, stood on top of it.
Just me and this guy.
I want to call him Banana because his name was like banana or something.
So Banana we should be known as.
We stood on top of this car.
We punched these zombies out.
We lived.
It was a great time.
We were building quite the bond, quite the friendship.
There were times when he was getting attacked and I was hitting him from behind and there
were times when I was getting attacked and he was hitting him from behind.
We were looking out for each other.
We were cold.
We were wet.
We had no food.
We were pitch black and we couldn't see anything.
My glow stick died.
I didn't even realize.
He gave me a spare one.
I cracked it.
We continued down this train track.
He started veering off.
I reiterate we can see nothing.
It's pitch black and when I say it's black and daisy it's nothing.
You can see nothing except the glow of the friendly Banana man's glow stick.
I continue to follow him.
He's continuing to talk to me.
He's trying to perk me up.
He's trying to get me through a bad situation.
He's going to be alright Prince.
We're going to be alright here pal.
I'm alright.
Yeah I know.
I've got this.
We see light in the distance.
We see two survivors approaching us on the train track.
Once again I have no mic plugged in.
Banana shouts out.
Who goes there?
They say friendly friendly, friendly friendly.
He also says friendly.
He says it's just me and one other here.
They say just me and one other here too.
As though we've got a fire and some fat left over if you want to get warm and shit.
Cool.
You up for that Prince?
Absolutely I am.
Of course I am.
We follow them.
They say don't worry about the zombie.
He's trapped on the roof.
I hear a roar.
I panic and turn around.
He is trapped on the roof.
Easily tell the truth.
A zombie attacks Banana.
The other two run off.
I stood there.
I fought the zombie.
On my own.
Banana says Prince has got my back.
Prince has got his back.
Prince stayed behind and looked after him.
We ran to the well as instructed.
We were all drinking.
All four of us.
One of them started singing a song.
We're the three best friends.
Oh Jesus Christ.
We're the four best friends.
I was having a great time.
Giggling away in silence.
They didn't hear me.
They said how long have you known Prince?
I've just met him.
He's like a cool dude.
I am a cool dude.
He says has he not got a mic?
He says no.
He says good.
Well not good.
He says yeah that's okay.
We're all full up on water at this point.
One of them got full up instantly on water.
And just buggered off.
So I'm full.
I follow us to the house.
I followed them to the house.
They weren't lying.
There's a nice fire in there.
All warm.
Cozy.
I shut the doors on the way in.
I said get yourselves round that fire lads.
It's cold out there.
Got ourselves near that fire.
That sounds sinister.
It sounds like it's going to a dark place.
I took my trousers off.
To ring them out.
Because they were drenched.
You have to ring your clothes out.
You know this.
I know this.
So I was ringing my trousers out.
Next to the fire.
They're considered ringed.
So I dropped them next to the fire.
And I was trying to take my top off.
To ring that out.
But every time I went on the top.
To put in my hand button.
It just kicked me off the menu.
I was like what's going on?
I kept doing it.
I did it like three times.
Nothing was happening.
And then I saw a little message pop up.
At the bottom left corner.
That said.
Fight out of restraints.
Oh God.
There you go.
They restrained my hands.
With rope.
That was terrifying.
I'm surrounded by three guys.
My friend Banana.
I panicked instantly.
I looked at Banana for any sort of encouragement.
Banana looked at me and went.
It's nothing personal Prince.
Oh my God.
He turned you in.
It's nothing personal Prince.
I unmuted my mic.
I said you son of a bitch.
You fucking son of a bitch.
One of them walked up into my vision.
So all I could see was his face.
He done the shh emoji in my face.
He went.
You look tasty.
Oh no.
There's some psychos on this Jay.
I said you fucking son of a bitch.
He said.
I've already fed you human while you was at the well.
What does he mean?
They fed me.
While I was drinking.
They were putting human steak in my mouth.
I wasn't aware.
He was behind me.
Putting it in.
Because when they feed you they just.
You can't.
They could do it.
You wouldn't know.
So they've already fed me human steak.
I'm looking at Banana.
They're having a great time.
They're laughing their heads off.
We've got him.
Now.
All I did was say you know.
You son of a bitch.
Then he took my hat.
I had a lovely hat.
It had an AK 47 on it.
And he already had mentioned.
And this was like half an hour ago.
I'd been running with this guy on our own for about half an hour.
Just sprinting.
And when I picked it up he said nice hat.
He took my hat.
And he said Prince I'll never take this hat off in memory of you.
In memory of you.
I said don't forget me.
He said I won't.
Then I shouted for my mum.
They said should we beat this guy up and leave him here.
Or should we kill him.
And then the other guy said well we are pretty hungry.
So he said sorry Prince we're going to have to eat you.
And then he cut me with the cleaver.
And then I died.
And then they ate you.
So then they ate me.
So I messaged Banana privately.
And I said I'm coming to get my fucking hat back.
I couldn't find him.
And that was the story of DayZ.
That was my story.
Do they go mental if they eat human flesh?
Yeah they just start randomly giggling going hee hee hee hee.
So if you're around someone on DayZ and their character just starts laughing hysterically it's because they've eaten human meat.
But you can live on it if you want to do that.
You're just running around like a psychopath.
But I've never experienced terror or fear like that in a game.
When I realised that my hands were tied and I looked up and he said there's nothing personal Prince.
I've never felt betrayal like that in a game either.
We'd been fighting our way for I don't know how long.
It must have been at least half an hour.
How did they communicate that then?
This is what I want to know.
And my only theory after thinking about it for a very long time was that they were already pals.
One of them's died. Spawned wherever he spawned.
He was still trying to find his way back.
And then on his way back when they found each other they just pretended to not know each other and then lured me into that horrible trap.
Or they were just chatting in Discord or on a party while we were running about.
I've got this guy, should we do something with him? I don't know.
But when I realised that my hands were tied my initial thought was no banana, not you too.
No, no, no, he's in on it.
Yeah, he's in on it.
I mean I thought...
He's put it around your hands.
Mate, I've never...
And when he came up to the thing I was like jeez this is sinister.
You got done over.
No, I got proper done over.
And then I spawned in again and I was like right, I'm going to find these fuckers.
Where am I? Found a sign. I was in Electro. I was on the coast, right at the bottom of the map. That's fine.
Running around.
I see another geezer.
He's sprinting after me.
I ran into his house, found a shotgun. It had no shells in it.
He don't know that. I just picked it up, dug the double triangle.
I said what do you want?
He said I'm nothing friendly. I thought I bet you fucking are friendly.
Bet you fucking are.
We got talking.
He said where are you from?
I said I'm near London.
He said I'm from Sweden.
I was like cool.
I was like I'm not very trustworthy at the moment. I've just been eaten.
So you know, I don't trust people at the moment.
He said you'll never guess what happened to me in my last life.
I said what's that?
He went on some really long boring story.
It was nowhere near as interesting as mine.
Which I didn't tell him.
And then we were running around for a good 10 minutes looting, helping each other out, fighting zombies and that.
All of a sudden he just went, he said my PSN name.
I said yeah.
He said bitch name.
I said what?
He said your name.
He said bitch name.
I said what are you on about?
He's like your name is pathetic.
I said you're a bitch.
He said you're a bitch.
I said yeah.
So I whacked him with a metal bar.
And then he had zombies on him.
So he's like running around me.
He's going zombie horde attack attack.
He's trying to get these zombies to attack me.
And then he was like that's the last mistake you'll ever make.
And then he was chasing me and I was running away because he had more health than me.
And I just ran and hid in the cupboard.
And then I never saw him again.
But I thought it was fun how he was so close.
Such a tight knit friendship for a little while.
And for no reason at all he just started attacking me.
Like calling my name bitchy.
So I was like well you're a bitch.
And then that was it.
Such a weird game.
But it's the only game you can have these interactions in I swear to God.
You'll never experience that sort of dread and weird concern.
I don't know I'm looking at them people thinking you're fucking weird.
It sounds great.
It was great.
I absolutely love it.
It's all recorded so if it won't record onto the app I'll have to record the actual scenario when it happens off the telly and show it.
Because it's fucking it's so funny.
The fact that you've got to worry about your survival whilst all of that is going on as well.
You've got to worry about your fucking levels of food, your water, your warmth, all that shit.
Clarky's the worst for that.
He's got an issue with slaughtering animals.
If you slaughter a cow we'll get all the prime cuts.
We'll have like 15, 20 bits of meat in our pockets all cooked up.
And they'll see a chicken and be like there's a chicken over there.
Leave it alone.
We've got bags of food.
He's like I have to have a little bit more.
I can't carry all this meat bro.
He's so concerned about dying of hunger that he's constantly slaughtering innocent animals.
Constantly.
Don't blame him.
But yeah we've been having a fucking cracking time on DayZ.
That's how I died the last time I played it was because I slaughtered a chicken and then got the chicken breast.
And I said to Steph I was like I can't eat this.
I said I need to cook this before I fucking do anything.
And what happened was I spent ages trying to find stuff to make a fire in a decent place.
And then I met up with a load of people and they were all right.
And it was nighttime by this point and I'd made a fire.
Because I was still learning the very basics of the game.
So I didn't know how to make a fire or anything.
And I googled it which is obviously terrifying when you're sat in the open at midnight trying to figure out how to make a fire because you're in jeopardy.
And you know I worked out and then made the fire.
And that's when I really started to enjoy myself because I was like this is sick.
I've made I've done something so simple but it feels so cool.
And what did I do?
I started making I had like courgettes seeds and I was next to a vegetable patch.
So I started growing courgettes and I was loving it.
And then I cooked the chicken but I never washed my hands.
So I ate the chicken and then got salmonella.
And I fucking died.
And I was fuming.
I was fucking livid because that was about two hours worth of gameplay.
And I died because I fucking literally cut the chicken breast out of the out of the fucking chicken.
And said to Steph I can't eat this because I'm going to get salmonella.
I said I can't eat it.
Said I need to go and cook this.
And what was more annoying is that there was a well next to me where I cooked that I had drunk from.
Didn't think to wash my hands from it.
Well why would you? It's a computer game.
Yeah I was like all the all the all the pieces of the puzzle were there.
I just put them all in the wrong place.
This is what I mean when you get slightly more advanced like myself.
I'm not advanced but I'm slightly more advanced.
These things don't become issue no more.
It's so simple and just no.
I okay I need to wash my hands.
I tell you what instead of cutting this chicken up quickly.
I'll either use some rags or I'll cut an item on my clothing.
I'll create some rag and I'll create some hand wraps.
So I'm not getting blood all over my hands.
Then I'll take the hand wraps off.
No worries.
All right Clarkie shoes wore out the other day so he kept bleeding.
His feet kept bleeding.
Crafted him some foot wraps.
He was like I didn't know you could do that.
I don't know.
But I wasn't on last week so I haven't even told you the story of the monkey man.
Great.
Yeah you remember you remember the guy where I logged into his base and he and I looked left and he was just standing there aiming a gun at me.
He blew me away.
Yeah that guy.
So when that happened he messaged me saying hi after he'd just killed me.
I said thanks.
He said lol you logged in there.
I said yeah I was very confused.
I wouldn't have even shot you.
He said lol sorry you're the second one already.
Do you need your stuff back.
I said no it's all good part of the game.
Good luck.
He said thank you.
You too.
Then that was on 16th of the 8th that happened.
The 25th of the 11th.
So three months later I was just playing with Clarkie.
He said hi.
Saw you on the server and our old conversation.
I said hey how are you.
Still building bases where people log in.
He said ha ha ha.
I remember now.
No no building.
I was raiding.
I said OK.
He said you know any bases.
I said no.
He said we just raided massive base in the woods.
I said that was my base.
It was you.
He said ain't no way.
You're part of that big group.
I said yeah we're coming for you.
He said no I'm friendly.
I said I'm joking.
I've never built a base in my entire life.
And I've just skipped off the message.
Two seconds.
Yeah you're part of that big group.
No no no.
I've never built a base in my entire life.
He said you got me there.
I know these guys are like 15 people deep.
I said currently I'm hiding in a wooden hut because of the rain and darkness and I'm
surrounded by the bones of chicken and the sweet smell of rotten tomatoes.
Do you not like having a stash.
I've scouted the last three days.
I found many small bases and stashes.
I said no I would but I can never find it again.
And even if I did have a stash I wouldn't tell you you dirty thief.
He said I have this rule where if someone tells me where his base is or his stash I
leave it alone.
I said all right it's in the woods next to the tree.
That nose it down.
Yeah he said very funny.
I said I don't have a stash.
Then he sent me a video of him like creeping around the woods with night vision goggles
on.
I said why are you creeping around in the dark.
He said it's the base I raided.
All my friends died.
I said all right I only shoot people if they shoot me or act threatening.
I like helping people.
He said so when you see geared people you try and talk to them.
Lol.
I said no don't be stupid.
I hide.
He said and that was the end.
That was the end of our conversation right.
So that's fine.
A couple of days go by.
Me and Clarky.
We're quite south now which is where the good loot is.
We just logged in.
We've looked on the map.
We're like right we take this left of this junction.
We're just bowing down the road.
Bang.
I'm dead.
Just hours and hours and hours of work like the night before just gone.
He was like where from.
I don't know.
I'm fucking dead.
I'm dead.
He's like I'm dead.
I get a message from monkeys.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't know it was you until I killed you.
Do you want me to cut up your bodies and give you a ride back.
I said Jesus fucking Christ.
He said I'm not going to lie I tried to clap you both.
I said where the fuck was you.
He said I was sneaking behind you.
I was walking to to Girotal and I spotted one of you and waited till you left town.
I said you killed me first and he lived for about another 10 seconds or so.
He said you both walked right past me.
I'm in a ghillie suit.
I said well well played sir.
Do you have a car.
He said not here but I do have one.
Said I heard a car yesterday but I never actually saw it.
He said yeah that might have been me.
Do you need your stuff for a ride back south.
And then he told us about the tip about curing him with your mate.
He said whenever you are south feel free to hit me up I can help you guys whenever you need it.
I said all right we'll be in touch.
So then a little while later a couple of days later I said I said you want to come pick us up.
It's like where I told him.
He's like no no no that's too risky.
You ought to come further south than that.
And I said okay no problem.
I'm going to have to pause it because I'm actually going to poo.
It's actually coming out my bum now.
Just getting involved with the story.
I'm sorry I'm literally going to sh...
We are back and you in the story you was talking you was too far south.
It was too much of a risk for monkeys to come get you.
Oh yeah monkey didn't want to come.
He said it was too far.
He said I said I'm in I mean where was I.
I was somewhere.
He said where are you.
He said Dalek.
I said it's a bit far mate.
He said I said you got cars.
He said yeah we got cars but the server's full I'm not risking it.
And then he said where are you and Weegee my friend.
I said it's a secret.
He said I mean no harm.
I said well I don't believe you.
You've killed us twice.
Well you've killed me twice anyway.
He said I'm just looking to extend our group.
I said well come pick us up then.
He said where.
I said Colin Brody.
He said not a fucking chance I'm driving there on a full server.
I'll pick you up at the car store.
What's wrong with driving.
He's driving.
What's going to happen.
DayZ is it's not you don't drive.
You hear a car everyone's going to be like what the fuck is that.
It's like rocking horse shit.
Cars you don't have cars.
Yeah but then how are they going to.
He drives a car.
How's anyone going to stop him when he's driving towards you.
He picks you up and then you drive off.
Because this is DayZ.
It's not simple.
I've drove a car once.
By blind luck I spawned in and there was a car at the spawn.
I got in and it had like one centimeter of fuel.
I drove it down the road.
You have to you have to change gears up one two three four five.
You have to manually shift everything clutch.
It's not it's not a simple thing to just drive around the roads in a car.
You have to be good.
And it's risky.
You want to drive into a town where everyone spawns.
Everyone's going to be like oh there's a car.
Let's all shoot it.
It's not it's not like GTA.
I get it.
I get why he wouldn't do it.
But yeah nevertheless.
I said where are you.
He sent me a picture of him laying down next to a road in the grass with a ghillie suit on just waiting for people to run past.
I said lol why are you creeping.
I'm waiting for passers by.
He said where are you.
I sent him a picture of me just in some woods.
I said where are we.
He said the woods.
He said meet me at Warshish and pick you up.
I said I'm trying to get there.
We're on route though.
Don't shoot two of us cowboy hat and a helmet.
I said you there.
He said no I'm in the heli crash.
I said OK.
Someone's here.
He said in town.
I said yeah.
He said you actually saw him.
I said yeah.
He's got camping gear and big backpack.
I said save us.
He said is he still in town.
I said I've lost sight of him.
He said I'm coming right now.
Where are you.
I said I'm hiding in the bunker.
Like me and Clarky have crawled all the way to this town where we saw this bloke hid up in this bunker both laying down on the floor.
He said which bunker.
I said the one behind the cabin.
Him and some other geezer just come bowling.
All right.
There's a subtle sneaky in that they just turn up with giddy suits and fours fucking everything.
We're just like hello.
And then yeah they're just what I spoke to them.
They were custody.
He was well all right.
He said I won't be on tomorrow because I'm playing arc because that came out on console.
But yeah he was like do you want to jump in a car and go for a ride.
I was like this is amazing.
But Clarky had just logged off.
It was late and I thought if I go in that car and log off somewhere complete different I'll try find Clarky.
So I can't take you up on the offer.
But another time.
So I think we've joined a gang.
Basically I think I'm now part of his gang.
But how do the people like this how do they survive the survival mechanics of it.
The water the drinking the keeping warm.
I don't think that's ever an issue for me.
I never really struggle with it.
Clarky struggles a lot with that eating.
I think that's why he's got this fear of like I really struggle with it.
Because the food literally follows you around.
You can't not.
I could never find food.
So you kill a zombie nine times out of ten they've got beans or tuna or some shit on them.
All right.
Yeah but then you got to open the can.
OK so you just get two stones and then you crafted a knife or you fucking kill a chicken.
How the fuck does two stones make a knife.
Well it's just they're in it.
But nevertheless you can anything opens it.
You can get a hacksaw to open it crowbar pliers.
I can anything that's slightly sharp will open a can.
The worst the worst fit I suppose for a can determines how much food will be in that can after you've opened it.
Right. So if you use a can opener you'll have the full food that was in the can.
If you use a crowbar you might only have that much left of the food because you fucking chored the can.
You know I mean easy to open.
Also if you stay in the same area for like five minutes like mushrooms and that will start growing around the area that you're in.
So you can just go around and eat mushrooms off the floor.
Like food is never really an issue.
There's times where it's a pain but it's very rare that I buy from anything other than like players.
That's not really an issue.
And once you've built up your immune system right then you don't really get hungry or you do.
I'd love to I'd love to play on on PC because it's not cross servers is it.
But I'd love to play on PC because I feel like I would get on a lot better with it on a PC rather than console.
It runs a lot better on PC a lot a lot better.
Just from because I had that with with VSO from playing that on the console and then switching over to PC.
It's just you can tell when a UI was originally designed for keyboard and mouse and then made for.
Obviously it works pretty well for Baldur's Gate.
But from an inventory point of view and from a spell point of view mouse and keyboard wins because it's just everything so much more easier.
Even wow you can have that on on like Steam Deck and stuff and you can have contract controller support with that and it works.
However it's not designed for it.
It's not what they're meant for. So I feel like something like DayZ I would have a better time on PC with it.
Sure if I had a PC and I was comfortable I'd play on PC.
Yeah I know but I'm not comfortable running WASD.
I don't like that. I'm comfortable with control.
So that's on Steam isn't it.
Of course it will be.
If you have a little look see how much it is.
But I have one more story for you if you're interested.
I'm always interested.
So after monkeys killed me and Clarky.
This will round us off.
Wow it's been a good episode. It's just been me basically.
DayZ after monkeys killed me and Clarky. Clarky started getting a bit tilted you know.
He came back to life but he kept getting unlucky and kept fucking getting.
34 quid.
That's a goat.
He kept getting unlucky. He kept getting caught out by zombies or fucking. He kept spawning next to other players and they're just shooting him or what not.
So he started getting a bit tilted.
And I managed to survive when I was in his last life that he was alive.
He was like borderline rage quitting.
He was fuming. You know when someone's getting angry and angry because they stop talking.
Yeah.
He was fuming.
And there's an annoying thing in DayZ which is annoying but also kind of makes sense that if you spawn in and you're not happy with your spawn you can't just quit and then respawn in.
You have to die.
Yeah you've got to kill.
And to die is not as simple. So you want to suicide. But you need to find an item to suicide with like a crowbar or a knife or something.
Two stones.
Yeah probably.
But Clarky had stumbled upon a horde of zombies who had smashed him to shit. And he you get to a point in DayZ where if you've lost a lot of blood and you've lost a lot of health you'll just keep passing out.
Yeah.
Which is irritating as fuck. So the only thing you can really do is just lay down.
So he found a house. He called to a house where he passed out on the floor. Just lay there in an angry mode.
I said where are you? And he described where he thinks he was and was like okay I think we've worked out. That's like Sobopka or something.
And I looked at him and I was like I'm one town down. I'll try and get over there.
And in the meantime I was in a house and I heard a guy coming from the outside and I lockpicked which I never really get the chance to use but I had one.
And I started trying to lockpick the door shut so he couldn't get in. And as I was like lockpicking it he just opened the door.
Because I didn't finish. He was like you alright there pal?
I was like oh fucking hell. But I didn't put my mic on again. And I was like nodding. He was like do you need anything? Yeah food, water and all this stuff.
And I was like what a guy. Risky. He gave me a gun with bullets in it. Which was very risky. So yeah in this time Clarky is still waking up and passing out over and over again.
So I come off the mic and I was like look I need to get over to the next town to get my mic because he's fucking in dire straits. He was like alright cool.
So we ran along. It started getting dark. He said well we'll camp out in this fucking house for the night. Because it's dangerous.
How's he not dead? How's Clarky not bled out yet?
Because he's not dying. Where he's been cut and he's lost a lot of blood. His blood meter is probably low. But he's healed. So he's healing. But he's just fucked. So he just keeps passing out.
So we caught up in this gaffe. Made a little fire. Kept warming up. But then there's little messages at the bottom. Kept popping up. Server's going to restart in 20 minutes. 10 minutes. 5 minutes.
So we got in. I gave him my lockpick. I gave him a compass. I didn't trade. I just said he can have this because you give us that stuff.
So we got in this house. He's locked both doors so we're safe. It was like cool.
The server's restarted. So when it restarts it kicks you both out of the game. Or kicks everyone out of the game. You have to wait a couple of minutes before the server lets you in again.
So I've logged back in. And Matey Bob ain't logged back in yet. And I'm sitting there thinking where's Matey Bob? He ain't coming back. I'll leave.
Door don't open because it's locked. Because you ain't got the fucking lockpicks.
I tried the other one. Lockpick. But then Daisy makes you question everything. And now I'm thinking was this part of his plan?
He knew the server was restarting. He locked me in and then just left me here. So yeah I said Clark I don't know bro. I'm trapped in a house.
I'm trapped inside a house. I can't get out. So I googled it. And you can actually smash your way out of lockpick doors.
And I don't know if you can smash your way into a lockpick door. You can definitely smash your way out.
So I whacked it up with an axe for like 15 hits or something. And the door just swung open. So I was like cool.
Anyway I carried on running about a bit for 10 minutes or so. And then Matey Bob popped back in. He was like hello. I was like oh yeah I'm over here.
And then I said do you fucking try screwing me over there. He was like no no no.
Anyway sprinted all the way to Subot Co. If that's where it was I can't remember. Got there. I said to Clark what house are you in?
He was like I don't know. I can't see because I'm fucking lying on the floor passing out.
He was like I think I'm in like a yellow house near the flats or something. I was like alright.
So running around in the pitch black still it is as well. Running around pissing down a rain. Ran into a building and see Clarkie just passed out on the floor.
Just literally just in it. It's so funny to see. He's just lying there on the floor just all fucked up and that.
I was like oh man. And then it pops up on the screen that I can resuscitate him.
So I'm holding square doing chest compressions on him. It's just a weird feeling doing chest compressions on your digital friend.
And then Matey Bob comes running in. He was like oh no you alright mate. I was like no he's proper fucked. He was like oh no.
I've got a thousand hours in Daisy. I'll help you out. Here get this fish down here. Started giving him tuna. Cans of Fanta.
A very coolie named drink called Not Cola.
Not Cola.
Not Cola yeah. Gets that down and gets his sugar raised. He passes out again. I start doing compressions.
He's like no no no stop doing that. Let him come around naturally.
You need to let his fucking reproductive systems. Not reproductive. His organs need to get going again on their own.
I'm like fucking hell. It's like medical science this shit.
He's being proper helpful man. He's giving him drinks and water. He's feeding him himself and shit.
It's cool. And Clark is still just fucked. Just not coming around. He wakes up and then you just hear doof.
It was hilarious. Clark is back in the game.
And then we're sitting in this house. And all of a sudden. Bang. Massive gunshot.
Hear a FUD. Look over. Our friend is just dead on the table.
What the fuck man. Clarkie. Stay down. Stay down. Fucking someone shot our mate.
I can't fucking stand up anyway. I've crawled over to our mate on the table and I've started looting him.
Probably about 3-4 minutes later this geezer has added us to a party. I've jumped in.
He's gone stay down boys. Stay down. I've been shot. Yeah we know. You're two foot away from us.
We heard a big gunshot and you're dead. He's like I'll take what you need boys. We already have.
I'm just going to leave loot lying about. So yeah we took what we needed.
And then we just had to lay on the floor and wait for Clarkie to get fit enough.
So he'd be able to stand up and run. And we managed to dart over to the flats and stuff like that and get away.
But it's something about making friends on Daisy. Because it doesn't happen very often.
Most people are just dicks and they just shoot on sight. Which I get because you get a bit of gear fear.
Where you don't want to lose your stuff if you've got a lot of stuff.
But yeah when you're talking to a geezer that you don't know and you're not in a party.
And you're just proximity chatting. And then all of a sudden they get shot and they can't respond no more.
It actually feels like you've lost them. It's such a weird feeling.
Because you're like what happened? Oh they can't answer me. They're dead.
It's just a horrible feeling. But you don't get that from any other game.
But yeah he'll forever live on in the memory of such a great guy who helped Clarkie's life.
So he added you know. You can carry on speaking to him.
Oh yeah yeah you can. But you know we're not going to be like.
I'm not going to start trying to meet up with him. He's not my friend.
But I might come across him again another time and be like oh alright mate you remember me?
Because I always play the same server. So normally people stick with a server right?
So I only play first person servers. I don't like the third person swinging the camera around corners.
I like to be able to if I can see you you can see me kind of thing.
So yeah there's always the same names you see popping up in that server.
But we added each other on PlayStation anyway. So I might meet up with him.
Yeah I feel like first person server. I only played the third person.
And I feel like first person is probably a better way to go.
Like you say if I can see you then you can see me. And if I can't see you then you can't see me.
Exactly that. It's just because like for example if I'm lying in a house.
So when you make a fire obviously you know smoke comes out of the chimney.
So it's very obvious that someone's in there.
If I'm lying down next to the door and waiting for my chicken to cook.
If someone comes in they don't know if I'm in it. I'm just going to blast them.
If they come round that corner. If he's in third person they'll just go round the outside of the building.
Just look in with the camera tilted and they'll see alright he's laying there.
Then you know. But if they don't do that then they're as blind as you are to when they're coming in.
It also makes it a little bit more difficult to loot stuff.
Because you might miss certain things.
I know because not really because once you've played it for a little while.
You get used to it.
The loot always spawns. So if you go in a house there'll be a certain number of places the loot will spawn.
So it'll be on this table, next to that bed, at the bottom of that wardrobe or on this corner.
They'll all be the only places. So you don't look in the places where loot doesn't spawn.
So you'll go oh it's this layout, I'll check this, this, this and this.
So you don't really need to. And you can just press the vicinity button anyway.
So you don't need to physically see it.
The vicinity button?
Yeah so you know when you open your menu and you see all your gear.
At the top left is the vicinity. So if it's in the vicinity you can just pick it up.
You haven't actually got to look at the item to pick it up.
You just press the vicinity.
Oh I didn't know that.
I never pick an item up by looking at it and pressing the button.
I press the menu button and then it's like oh there's a torch, a fucking backpack and something else in the vicinity.
And I'll just take it like that.
Oh I didn't know you could do that.
So yeah you don't need to actually physically be looking at the item.
But yeah DayZ has just been like re-figurated for me.
There have been a lot of updates. They've done a massive update to the skybox.
So the sky is just fucking stunning now.
Like when the storm rolls in or the fucking sun starts coming through the clouds.
Or in the morning it will get all foggy and that if it's a certain weather type.
And it really is fucking beautiful.
When I was playing it was I on PS4 or PS5 at the time?
I think I might have been on PS5.
I've never played with you on PS4 I don't think.
I don't think so.
So yeah I think it's nice.
Because I've got it on the PlayStation didn't I?
It's really good.
I say at least if you go on the PlayStation I can fucking meet up with you fairly easy and help you out.
Yeah maybe I'll revisit it because it sounds...
It's just amazing.
Sounds fun.
I always had fun when I played it.
I did always have fun.
Mate I get the frustration. I really do.
Because like yesterday...
I'll try and do a short story. It'll be short alright.
Yesterday I was playing on my own. Clarky's busy.
So I jumped into this new map as I did.
Running around.
Like I just told you.
Then two stories that I told you about.
The guy that called me a prick for my name or whatever.
And then the people that hate me.
My next life after them two.
Was I got ill.
Like straight away.
Like I got fucking sick.
And I'm coughing and I'm spluttering and I'm sneezing.
It's so annoying man.
I thought I'm going to end this Flemmy cunt in a minute.
Because he's doing my head in.
So it just makes it very difficult to sneak around and not be known that you're in the vicinity.
Because literally I was in a building the other day and I knew someone was outside because I heard his stomach rumble.
So it's very obvious when someone's around if you're making noise like that.
I got really sick and I was like you know what.
I'm going to make it my mission on this life to get better again.
Because it's an objective and every life's different and it's fun that way.
So I was like fuck it.
I'm not going to like try suicide.
I'm going to try and get through it.
I found some weapons.
Found some decent guns.
Found some actually magazines for them.
And yeah I was trying to think I could.
I was like cutting up off bark off trees with a hacksaw.
And crafting fires.
And I sat by the fire for probably about 45 minutes in real time.
Just sitting there trying to get warm.
Trying to get my temperature up.
Went to the hospital to try and find some tetracillin pills which take away pretty much any disease.
I didn't get lucky.
I found a medical thermometer which I've never used before.
Straight up your arse.
No he pops it in his mouth.
Oh great.
And I've never known what it does.
But what it actually does is it actually tells you your temperature.
So I looked.
Well yeah.
But I thought it would go like physically up the thing.
You know what I mean.
The red line would go up.
But it doesn't.
In the bottom right where your temperature gauge is it just tells you the number.
So I was like 38.7.
I was like okay so I've just got like a flu or something.
I've got a fever.
So that should be if I just stay warm and fed and hydrated it should go away.
And I made my way through this town all the way up.
I ran through some trees.
Ran through a forest.
But I'm always following the map.
I found a compass.
And it's very satisfying when you're looking on the map and you're like right.
And you get to where you was aiming to get to.
It feels like a reward in itself.
And I made it to this little town.
Tiny little town.
Had a well.
Had a police station.
Had a medical centre.
So I ducked in the medical centre.
Had a little look around there.
Couldn't find no pills.
Made it to a well.
Had a little drink.
Filled my bottle up.
And then I went to the police station where you quite often find guns and stuff like that.
Not good guns but guns nevertheless.
And I went in there.
Found a sniper rifle which is a fucking good pull.
And I was like do you know what?
Fuck it.
I'm going to post up here.
So I posted up at the police station.
And for half an hour I just aimed my sight at this fucking well.
Just waiting for some fucker to just bowl up to that well.
I was going to blow his fucking head off.
Little did I know someone snuck up behind me.
And went into the.
I don't know if they knew I was in there.
But they went into.
I still don't know how they got in.
I really don't because I had all the doors shut and I would have heard it.
But they went into a room behind me.
So I went round and I had my shotgun out.
And I was aiming at the door.
And I was like look.
Friendly.
But if you come out of there.
I'm going to blow your head off.
So I want you to open the door.
And I want you to throw your weapon.
Out of the door.
And then I will drop my gun.
And then we will be friendly.
And he just didn't answer.
And I was like.
So you want.
You want to fight then.
Still didn't answer.
I said all right.
So be it.
You're going to die.
He opened the door and killed me.
But there was two of them in there.
Oh right.
Okay.
But only one of them shot me.
So I have no excuse.
But that that was tilted.
That was frustrating.
Because I had him where I wanted him.
And I was like.
And I was perfect.
I'd got rid of the illness as well.
The illness had gone.
So I'd mission achieved.
I've got some decent gear.
I was camped up somewhere.
I had a lot of food on me.
Everything was sweet.
And this one cunt.
Come bowing in and blew me away.
Especially when you give the beef.
It was like.
I'm going to kill you.
Yeah.
Throw your gun out.
You want this.
I'm going to kill you then.
And then boom.
Nope.
You've been fucked.
It's always demoralizing.
It's embarrassing.
In situations like that.
When you give it the big one.
Then you just get fucked over.
You go.
Yeah.
Decent.
Yeah.
That's great.
But yeah.
That's the Daisy experience.
And whilst tilted.
I'm going to be a good guy tonight.
Fantastic.
Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter to me.
I'll keep going.
I'll keep on surviving.
As the famous Daisy quote goes.
It's not your loot.
It's just your turn with it.
Yep.
Fantastic.
Don't get attached.
See you later.
Who fucking roo?
How are you doin'?
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