Hello everybody and welcome to watch the buttons.
Hello.
Change that.
Change that shit.
No, no, no.
Please.
No, this is non-negotiable.
No, it is negotiable because I'm the one that's controlling it.
No, this is non-negotiable.
No, this is staying.
No, I promise.
In the spirit of Halloween, it's a spooky intro.
No, but I don't like that.
Yeah, but it's rolled on too long for me to stop it.
No, because this is comedic gold.
I mean it.
Fine.
Where is it?
Is this better?
This is better.
Hello, what's the buttons?
No, hello, it's what's the buttons.
It's what's the buttons.
Say hello to yourself.
Is that better?
Okay.
Hello.
We're here.
Steph's here.
When was the last time you was here?
Oh, a little while ago.
I feel like there's such a change when we hit record because I feel like I talk to you slightly
different to how I would...
Oh, sorry, that was my toe.
Do you reckon?
I don't know.
In what way?
Like radio-y.
You know how like a news report, when someone's reading out the news, they don't talk like
that all the time, do they?
They don't talk like this.
Talk like this and on today's news, sad.
That kind of shit.
I don't know.
To be honest, last time I was here, it didn't smell this mouldy.
I know.
It didn't smell very real.
But we move.
We mentioned it a couple of times.
The room itself is not mouldy, but there's definite damp somewhere.
What we need is Gordon Ramsay's little debris.
Yeah.
A little sticky thing.
Yeah, there's something going on here.
Like I feel like...
Yeah.
Do you remember when I told you...
This is so divergent, but relevant.
One of my grad shows was in that...
It was called Safe House in Peckham.
Yeah.
It's basically a semi-detached derelict fucking ruined house and that you rent for extortion
amounts per night.
Yeah, yeah.
Probably in the second day and no one came.
So we were all just sat there and basically we were like getting Uber Eats or Deliveroo,
whatever it was then, and playing heads up and just like genuinely hanging out...
But when I played back on the recordings and actually when I got home as well, we were
all coughing.
Like all of us...
Asbestos baby.
Developed this cough.
Asbestos.
You're going to die.
Yeah.
And it feels like this kind of vibe.
My lungs are like red alert.
Yeah, yeah.
There's not much I can do.
No.
I did find out today though that my school, my secondary school has had to close because...
Is that one of the ones?
Yeah.
It's the most dodgy concrete.
It's basically like an aero bar.
If you're not from the UK, which quite a few of the people listening actually aren't, yeah,
there's a crisis going on at the moment in the UK where I think it's now up to like 700
schools.
Like primary schools and secondary schools have had to either temporarily close or like
permanently close because the concrete that they were made with is prone to collapse.
Yeah.
I can believe it.
It's fucking mental.
I can believe it as well.
Yeah.
It's one of yours.
No, because I don't know about my primary school, but my secondary school got rebuilt.
And I'm pretty sure it was like the term after we all left when they finally replaced the
temporary buildings that were only meant to be there for like six months.
Like those fucking containers, like work containers.
Yeah.
And we were in them for like four years.
As well, what a bugger is, if it is what I think it is, the part of it that's built,
literally like it's like 90% of the school.
Yeah.
They've said that they have in like year seven, then like year 11 and 12 and that's it.
Like no one else come in.
Oh, it would suck though.
That sucks.
Especially like, but anyway, we're a good drive virgin.
So, you know, sorry if you're a school kid.
That's what's going on.
School's made of crumbly, narrow concrete.
But we're not in school and we don't have children.
So yeah, I don't really care.
I didn't even know.
It wasn't to my mate.
Don't care.
Soz for you.
Don't worry about the children.
Games.
Yeah, but it is serious.
Basically how the government's reacting to it.
We don't care for.
Whoops.
We're probably going to only talk about one game here, really.
It being ESO.
Because we're all over it.
Yeah.
Aren't we?
Aren't we dear?
Yes, sir.
Aren't we all over this?
It's fantastic.
It's mine and Steph's five year anniversary on Thursday.
And I was contemplating whether I would buy us both Necron.
OK.
And you buy the pizza.
Do we want pizza?
Well, do we want to go and get the Chinese?
No, no, I can't be able to do that.
Indian?
This is a conversation off the pod.
People aren't here to find out what the fucking dinner order is.
People are changing out.
Yeah.
You're still with us.
But yeah, I was not that we need to have the latest X back, which is Necron, but I figured
it might be quite nice.
I don't know if you get any like crowns or anything with it, but I feel like I've skipped
a load of the dialogue here.
Me and Steph got back into Elder Scrolls online.
We did talk about it last time we were on.
What me and you or just me?
Me and you.
Did we?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's go back.
You've been on that recently?
Wait, pause it if we're going to do some admin.
OK, give me a sec.
Five episodes ago is the last time we properly spoke about ESO.
And I feel like we've got a little bit more hands on with it because was the last time
we played it.
I know that I'm playing it completely differently to how I played it the last time that we tried
to play ESO.
OK.
In other words, I haven't just beeline to the fucking get into max level and then your
champion points.
I'm actually doing the story and paying attention to it.
So like right now I'm doing Cadwell Silver.
So basically, when you do the main story in Elder Scrolls online, at the end of it, I
can't spoil anything, but at the end of it, you get what is essentially a whole block
of quest, a really long quest line that takes you through.
I'm pretty sure it's like all of the starter areas or most of them.
And there's I think there's five or six areas and it has a breakdown of all the main quests
that you need to achieve in that area.
And it's one of them where literally from start to finish it, it guides you through
that entire story.
And it's really good.
It's really, really good.
I haven't done any of the side stuff that I've done.
Well, I've only done a couple of side missions.
Most of the time I have been skipping them because I want to do the main story.
Apparently at the end of it, you get you get Cadwell's like pot hat thing.
And yet it's just actually paying attention to the story and the witty writing.
And there's actually been a couple of times where I've been laughing and things like that,
like genuine enjoyment from listening to the story is such a such a big breath of fresh
air compared to things like World of Warcraft, because I actually Googled it over the entire
ESO catalog of expansions and stuff like that, there's 77 voice actors that are employed
to do it.
And the whole I've got the list on my phone, but obviously I won't read it all out.
But quite a lot of them have like some of them have like 10 different people that they're
voice acting or like one of them is the entire female guard in one specific city.
So I feel like and we've spoken about before that it's so much more engaging when there's
voice acting throughout the entire game, which is just something that I'm not used to in
an MMO because I feel like it's a lot of effort to do that.
I mean, yeah.
And I think like it helps it kind of feel like I mean, it's a very like over kind of
I can't think of the word, like reduced view of it, but it's almost like an endless Skyrim
in the sense that that feel is the same.
You can play it as interactively or like solo as you like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it you always like how I'm feeling is like kind of what you said where I don't really
feel the need to like grind anything.
It all feels so like, oh, we can just do that another day.
You can try and play that another time, you know, and there's no like pressure to be a
certain thing.
I mean, that's probably not the case for everyone and everyone plays it differently and stuff.
But the way I'm playing it now is yeah, just so casual.
And yet in just enough to like grip you where you're like on days where we've been really
busy it's like, oh, you really want to fucking play it.
Yeah.
And you know, even if you're logging in just to get you know, your little daily wars or
whatever.
Yeah, I'm loving it.
I'm like, I mean, am I loving it as well because I'm right?
Probably.
What?
Or I've been pestering you for months.
What do you mean?
To just play it with me since like 2021 when we stopped playing.
Yeah, no, I know.
I know.
So it feels good.
I know.
World of Warcraft got in the way.
World of Warcraft has given me a really heavy slump right now to the point where I was talking
to you earlier, like our entire guild discord, all of them have like emigrated to other games.
So some of them are playing Final Fantasy.
I did speak a little bit about ESO on the discord.
And then like there was a couple of people asking me questions almost as if like I'm
getting the vibe that they either do play it or they want to play ESO.
I know that you can actually log into like you can go on discord and it will tell you
what games those people are playing.
But I'm not that fucking interested.
That makes sense.
Like I'm not dying for them to want to play with them.
But yeah, I feel everyone's just taking that that little slump with while there's obviously
you have World of Warcraft classic, which is it goes all the way up to Wrath of the
Lich King, which is so Burning Crusade Wrath of the Lich King first two expansions.
They now do them as classic servers, which is just old school with a couple of tweaks.
People they very recently released hardcore servers now, which is one death you're done.
Delete the whole characters gone.
So you you start you start again.
And one really cool thing that they've introduced with that is you've always been able to duel
other people, which you can in ESO as well.
But they brought out is it Kroh Magar Krog Magar?
Krog Magar.
That's one.
Fight to the death so you can now duel people.
Whereas ESO when we duel, you actually kill the person on World of Warcraft.
When you duel, you get them down to one health and then that's it.
The duel is over.
Whoever got the one health is the loser.
Over.
Whereas Krog Magar.
It's they're they're dead.
So it's quite a if you're a high level and you decide to duel like that, there's a lot
of stake because someone one of us is going to die here.
I'm going to ruin someone's day here because the difference with normal WoW and classic
is the leveling up is so much fucking slower in classic, so much more hardcore.
Whereas in retail, WoW, you can get from level one to max level in.
I think the quickest is like four hours, something like that.
Four or five hours really quick.
Classic, you're talking days, weeks to get to level 60.
So there's a lot more going on.
The game does not hold your hand.
It is literally vanilla.
Wow.
So before there was any fucking tweaks, any quality of life, that is just how it first
begun to the point where even when you get a quest in retail, it comes up with a quest
marker, much like ESO classic.
You have to read the quest dialogue and figure out where to get.
It gives you no markers, no nothing.
There's there's nothing to say.
If you have to collect a certain amount of, I don't know, like copper ore or something
like that, say you need like 20 of them, it doesn't give you a tick thing like ESO or
retail does.
You just have to know that you've got the certain amount that you need.
And if you go and hand in that quest, but you haven't, you have to go back.
It's not sound pleasurable.
No offence.
It's how a proper quest used to be before quality of life.
So a lot more effort goes into playing a classic and hardcore character.
And I'm not interested in any of that.
So I feel like when that's come out, a lot of people have been drawn away from retail
and gone into that.
Or people like me have been drawn away from retail and just started searching other stuff.
And I feel ESO is a fantastic game played completely differently to any other type of
MMO, but what's most enjoyable about it is that we're playing it together, but not together,
if that makes sense.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Kind of like where you enjoy someone's company, but you're not actually doing stuff together.
Like how I like being on a laptop or on the PlayStation or wherever and you're sitting
on the Switch or you're reading or doing whatever.
We're not actually interacting with each other, but we're in the same vicinity.
Yeah, but I'd miss you if you weren't there.
Yeah.
So I feel like that with ESO, we're not questing together.
We're doing dungeons together and stuff like that.
But the fact that we're playing together and that if we wanted to, we can just go whoop
and then start pissing around with each other.
I would quite like to do some quests together though.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
Because didn't we...
Do they sync up?
Yeah.
They do.
Only when we stopped was because you can't do the main story together.
Yeah.
It must be individual.
But I don't think we can go back and do quests that I've done that you haven't.
I think I can help you.
Or vice versa.
Yes, thank you.
But yeah, I think I can help you, but I can't actually do anything.
Yeah, same as when we were in that dungeon and I'd already done it and you were doing
the quest and I'd already...
Which made me feel really left out even though I've probably done it.
Because that's where I've kept my character from when we played before.
But I don't remember a lot of it.
So I'm running around going like, why don't I get it?
And then just realizing that I've already done it.
But what is new is you're looking at builds and stuff like that.
And so am I.
Because I don't think...
I never did that last time.
Didn't take it that serious.
Not that we're fucking hardcore with it.
No, but it's nice to know, isn't it?
Yeah, because it gives you that freedom to do whatever it is that you want to do.
Yeah, and I never gave a shit about a lot of stuff.
When I was playing Skyrim, I just ran with what I wanted to run with.
I didn't really give too much about the benefits or drawbacks of...
You can swear on this podcast.
I know, light and heavy and medium and whatever.
I know.
I just didn't give a darn toot.
But yeah, no.
And I got by fine.
I used to run Skyrim.
I used to play with an axe or some shit like that.
Whereas yeah, and that's probably true of when we played ESR on the PS4, PS5, whatever.
And when we played it a bit on PC.
Whereas now I'm carrying a lot more and actually have armor that helps and stuff like that.
Yeah, because ultimately that makes the gaming experience of it better.
You have to drink a whole lot less potions.
Yeah, if you're actually using what is perceived to be the right stuff.
I mean, in terms of weapons, you can do whatever you want, but in terms of gear...
Yeah, but you can.
Dependent on the build that you're running.
Not necessarily, because that's what other versatility of it.
For example, if your build is built around magicka as opposed to stamina, you're not
going to have a fun time if all of your gear is enchanted towards stamina.
True, but you can enchant heavy to be magicka.
Yes, no.
What I'm saying is if your build requires you, if you use magicka more than you do stamina.
Yeah, then you're not going to run the stamina stuff.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Do you want to fight?
Do you want to fucking go?
Yeah, just step outside and run.
Are you fucking here?
Are you fucking here with what I'm saying?
Yeah?
Magicka!
You get it?
You understand?
Oh, looks could kill.
What are you rolling your fucking eyes for?
We both got ESO+, which means everything's unlimited basically.
So much more benefits.
I couldn't imagine playing without ESO+.
It's fine.
Well, if it's fine, why have you got it?
Because I wanted it.
Because it's much better with it.
It's alright.
Far much better.
It's alright.
The only gripe that I really have, and you might agree with me on it, is mounts.
The only real way to get hold of them is to buy them.
Okay.
What I was going to say is, and it's possibly off of the back of...
Fuck me, what's it called?
Tears of the Kingdom.
My mind went blank then.
A relic that hasn't been...
I've seen nothing about Tears of the Kingdom for ages.
I don't know what happened.
It's a game that you start and finish.
Yeah, the hype just disappeared I guess.
No, I mean I still see stuff, but then I...
Oh, that was like a tongue twister.
Then I follow a lot of stuff.
I still see stuff.
I still see stuff on the seashore.
Yeah, I suppose it's because I'm not in my algorithm.
The basically playing a game like that where not just flying, like being able to jump off
the edge of stuff and not die, but also obviously one of the new abilities was you couldn't
go up through the floor.
Yep.
And like the other day I was looking for a Skyshard and I was lost and there was like
nowhere for me to go because I can't fly, can't climb, can't think like...
Because obviously Link can climb the wall and so on.
And I think, yeah, it's just one of those ones where you are moving from game to game
and you have to like make peace with the lack of other differences.
I miss having flying mounts.
I will say that.
Being able to just mount up and just go, vroom, see you later.
It would be great.
I mean having the add-on of a mini map makes such a big difference.
Again, with the rolling of the eyeballs.
Prove it.
Prove to the people that I just rolled my eyeballs.
Who's going to believe you?
Yeah, but you did though.
This interaction itself proves it.
Why are you rolling your eyes at my mini map?
Is it because you're jealous?
No.
You fucking are, aren't you?
You are, aren't you?
You see it.
No, it's not.
Because when you logged in...
It wasn't there.
When you logged in...
What, it wasn't there?
Even when you logged in on my account?
No, because why would it be?
Because you logged in on my account?
No, I logged in on my account.
No, I logged in on your computer.
I mean your account.
Yeah, but you did it on my computer.
Why would I have...
Because the files are...
Why would I automatically apply them?
Because the files are on here.
They're not on your account.
They're on the game.
Yeah, fucking log me in then.
Come on then.
No, I don't want to.
No, because I'm not going to be there.
Well, after I log your ass in.
That's how files work.
You're smarter than me with this kind of stuff.
Right, so you don't have to activate any add-ons.
When you click on your screen and you click add-ons, you didn't have to activate them,
no?
No, you just download them because they download onto the launcher, onto the game files themselves.
That's how add-ons work.
Right, but I don't...
Why are you going...
Because they weren't there.
Do you know what add-ons are?
You're walking a fine line of funny and dangerous here.
Do you?
Hmm?
Yeah.
You watched me painstakingly get the files on.
Do you want a medal?
What a cunt that was.
That was fucking horrible.
Angripe, getting add-ons onto ESO.
Not ESO's fault.
You've got to be a fucking scientist to get that shit on.
Jesus Christ.
It was a very simple fix.
After, what was it, days?
Days of trying?
Facebook posts.
No one answered me.
Reddit, Google, Discord.
No one helped me.
Even the guild in ESO.
That's sad.
Oh, that's sad.
I mean, they were answering questions, but no one led me to the solution.
Which was just put in the right folder.
Yeah, put it in the wrong folder.
I was following the wrong folder path.
Which you back me up is very similar.
Both the paths are very similar.
I'll give you that.
Thank you.
On this occasion.
But yes, back to it.
Why don't you like my minimap?
I don't have any feelings about your minimap.
You do though, don't you?
Nope.
ESO doesn't give you a minimap, which is a, it gives you a compass at the top.
Which it shows you very little.
Apparently the idea being that the developers didn't want to clutter your compass up with
what is actually in the map entirely.
I'm not used to that though.
Like it's the same as...
Yeah, I'm used to it.
But having that little minimap in the corner, especially when you're in Delves and things
like that, because you can see all the corridors and shit.
You just press M. Just press M when you're in a Delve.
Yeah, but you can't move while you're on the map.
Yeah, you can.
No, you can't.
Yes, you can.
No, you can't.
Yes, you can.
I do it all the time.
No, you can't.
Yes, you can.
No, you can't.
I have auto, when you auto run.
I don't have auto run.
All right.
I don't have auto run.
Okay, all right.
What key is auto run?
I don't know.
I don't have it.
I don't have it on this fucking laptop.
I have bound it to tab.
Tab is my quick slot.
Right?
I don't have.
You can take a different key to bind it.
But I don't have it.
But yeah, you can.
I don't have auto run in.
Yeah, but I don't need to because I've got a minimap.
Right.
The quality of life.
This is again, rolling of the eyeballs.
You can't roll them.
The balls that are eyes are rolling.
Nope.
Mark Manus' big balls rolling.
You would like them.
Old vents down Mark Manus.
Old venty Manus.
Old breezy knees.
He got in the van, he went, he was messing with my vents.
Tis I.
I watched him.
Was it today?
I was because it was boiling hot.
I watched him just sat there.
And then the left vent, I just watched him go, flick it down.
He just flipped it down.
Yeah, well I'll be in there on Thursday.
So you're going to have to be moving them.
Those vents do fuck all in this hot weather.
Absolutely nothing.
Not when they're on your knees.
No, they don't.
Ridiculous.
You fuck.
Mark Manus.
Leave the fucking vents alone.
Stop opening the window when I'm doing 70 mile an hour, you fucking dickhead.
Stuff it.
My hair is flowing everywhere.
I had to pull over today because I untied my hair and then realized, realized at the
point of my journey, there's virtually no traffic lights to stop you.
So I was like, I can't, I can't tie my hair up.
But because it was so hot, we had to have the windows open.
Get Mark to do it.
Yeah.
Or has he got practice tying up his hair?
It's not that hard, is it?
Baldi.
Either way, I had to pull over.
I had to find somewhere to pull over because I couldn't tie my hair up.
There's a hatred in your eyes just there when you looked at me.
What I was saying.
Yeah, sorry.
Anyway, has completely left my mind.
What the fuck was I saying?
You said big bald bald bald.
It was about add ons.
Yeah.
Oh, I rolled my.
Bobbly, bobbly, bobbly.
Allegedly, I rolled my eyes.
Allegedly, you rolled your eyes.
When I was talking, that was it.
That was fucking it.
Right.
And you'll know with my wow shit and you'll know how obsessed I am or was was because
this is a new me with following the matter in DPS.
So who is what class is currently performing the best in mythic class of rage and shit
like that to the point where I quite frequently swap my fucking main class around because
I wanted to be whatever was at the top.
I am so desperately trying to avoid looking at that with Elder Scrolls online because
there's an add on that you can get, which is a DPS recount, which basically gives you
a whole breakdown per fight of how much damage you was doing, what abilities were doing,
the most damage, the percentage, what damage was being done to you.
It's just the statistics of the actual fight, which is what if you're trying to improve
your character is what you would need to look at to go right.
Well, that move does that.
That lethal arrow doesn't do much.
That Betty Netsch is not is only giving me X amount of of stat increase.
It's quite it's quite an in depth thing to do.
So I nearly downloaded it the other day, but then I was like, no, because I don't want
to see it.
And when Neil come back to wow for a little bit and I was chatting to him, he had to redo
all of his add ons and forgot to put the DPS meter on.
And he said like how much of a breath of fresh air it was for him because he was like, I
don't know if I'm doing shit or not.
I can't see the numbers.
So he was like, it's so much more enjoyable because all of a sudden that pressure that
was on him to be performing near the top is completely gone.
Yeah.
Which is how I feel with ESO.
I don't know how I'm fucking doing.
All I know is that shit's dying.
I'm attacking stuff and it's dying and I'm having fun doing it.
So when I'm in dungeons and shit, the dungeons are so fucking quick anyway.
I think that's because we're not max level yet.
I'd imagine as we bump up is where they get a little bit more a little bit more puffy.
Yeah.
You understand what I'm saying?
You get me.
You feel me.
I do.
Yes.
Contempt.
Yeah.
I saw his fucking eyes.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Have you ever seen that video of that like toy monkey with the eyes and the geezer like
goes to put it out of the box and his eyes like quickly looks in and looks back.
I saw the one on the shelf and he punches it.
No, not that one, but another one you're on about.
He fucking decks it back into the shelf.
Yeah, it moves.
Horrible.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
I think it's on the same video.
No, no.
I haven't seen that though.
That's that then.
Yeah.
I'm hangry.
I meant to say hungry, but my mouth spoke the truth.
I'm hangry.
Oh, right.
Okay.
End it here.
What else has been going on?
Oh, apparently Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas are heading for divorce.
Just saying.
No one listening to this podcast cares.
How do you know?
Who is Sophie Turner?
Sansa Stark.
All right.
Well, they were married.
It's Joe Jonas.
Yeah.
They had two children.
They were heading for divorce.
Gossip.
Right.
That's Steph's side of the news.
I have two mystery boxes turning up tomorrow or being dispatched tomorrow.
Your face.
Yeah, boy.
Rewind to the start of this podcast when you said about how you speak to me differently.
What do you mean?
Hang on.
I'm going to get my filing up.
What for?
What have I done?
No, what have you done?
People might care.
People aren't tuning in for Joe Jonas.
Right, but they're tuning in for Funko Pops.
Is that Jonas Brothers?
Huh?
Yes, they are.
Yes.
It's an established theme with What's the Buttons.
Okay.
Am I not allowed to bring in a little bit of a story?
Joe Jonas is not.
Were you brought in Nintendo?
No, Ash likes Nintendo.
Yeah, but you double that likeness.
Is that all I'm allowed to do?
Is it?
No, but Joe Jonas.
It's breaking news.
All right.
So what you're telling me that they don't care about that.
The schools are falling down and Joe Jonas is getting divorced.
What would the children think?
They'll care about fucking concrete in an Essex school.
You fucking started the club, though.
I'm boring.
I'm so boring.
What do you mean?
I'm here for you.
I want to be, you know.
I'm here for you.
Oh, wait.
I can't believe, sorry, Rue.
I can't believe I haven't even spoken about the fucking main game I've been playing.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Proper mobile gaming as well.
Absolutely.
Oh, fantastic.
Take it away, Steph Edwards.
Off you go.
So I've been playing.
I don't know what's fucking cool.
Scriptic crime scene.
Hang on.
This game has taken over your life.
I do it and the scripted crime stories.
She got called a cunt.
Yeah, the home secretary called me a cunt.
So scripted crime stories.
I don't know if you can play it if you're not subscribed to Netflix, right?
But I've never bothered looking at the Netflix mobile games.
Never watched Netflix on my phone.
I don't even know that they did them.
Yep, they do.
So anyway, what's been going on on Lakeside?
That's really pinpointed near to where we are.
Great.
What's been going on with Netflix?
Lately, obviously they've enforced that household bollocks.
Absolute bullshit.
I've basically been locked out of my own Netflix because...
Oh, in different houses.
Yeah.
Fuckers.
YouTube don't do that.
So I was watching...
I was on my phone anyway.
So scripted crime stories.
And basically, it's like...
I can't really describe what it's like.
So you have...
It's on your phone and you're in a...
You're a DCI.
No, you're a DC.
And you have all these little things.
So far there's two.
I don't know if there's going to be any more, but I'm halfway through the second one now, but the first one.
And you have your little room where you interrogate people.
You have your little book of clues.
And then you have your little messenger where you've got forensics, intelligence, and on the ground.
And then the bottom button is a clone.
Oh, Bobby's on the beat.
A clone of the victim's phone that you gradually unlock more and more of.
And they phone you.
They'll text you.
You've got like a breaking news thing.
And it is sick.
It basically looks like a phone emulator.
Oh my God, it's mad.
It's so fun.
I might not be making it sound fun, but it is so fun.
Didn't you try and swipe up the other day because you thought you was on your phone?
No, what was...
I can't remember what I was doing.
Trying to find TikTok.
But yeah, and obviously I don't want to spoil it because honestly it is such a laugh.
It's genuinely entertaining.
And what as well, there's no ads.
It's completely free if you want to subscribe to Netflix.
And also you can leave it.
I've never turned my notifications on for any apps at all other than the main ones.
Your Tim4 hat.
No, no.
It's because it just drains your battery.
And drains the battery on my watch.
And it drains the battery.
And then I'm always looking at my fucking...
And it's like, you know, get a bag of sweets for 10...
You know, that kind of shit.
So it can't be asked.
So I imagine you can just leave it and you'll get notifications.
Like when someone's messaged you.
Yeah.
But also you can just skip time if you want to play it now.
Or you can wait to make it more realistic.
So if they're trying to locate a witness, it will come up saying an hour and 20.
But you can just skip that or you can leave it.
Yeah.
Oh my God though.
Like it was...
It is really, really, really good.
But I did feel...
What was it?
On Wednesday I worked till late.
But I don't start till...
In the office.
But I don't start till...
Who wants to know?
I care about this.
Anyway, I had the morning.
Oh, this is part of the story.
I had the morning and basically, yeah, I felt...
Actual work felt so inconsequential because I was like, I am solving a murder.
Steph was up at like half seven and then working at what?
Like fucking two o'clock, three o'clock, whatever.
And throughout the day, almost like incrementally in 10 minutes, I was getting screenshots.
And updates of how the investigation was going.
And then as it got closer to the time where Steph had to start getting ready for work,
she's just like, I'm going to be late.
I'm rushing.
I'm rushing because I was too busy investigating.
Yeah.
Just the one where it was like, who was it that called you a cunt?
The home secretary.
Yeah.
I just get a text.
The home secretary just called me a cunt.
Yeah.
So he goes...
And then blackmailed you.
Yeah.
It was right when...
Said he'd bury you.
Yeah.
I've basically been using the dead boy's phone on his like...
It's not called WhatsApp because you know, copyright infringement.
It's like chat zap or something.
Chatty appy.
And they'd actually...
It was great.
They were really, really brave.
They created a social media campaign to try and find out who killed their friends.
It was going really well.
Anyway.
I'd been chatting to them and actually getting really helpful information, obviously massively
against protocol, which was naughty of me.
And then yeah, it was right when my partner found out that I'd been doing that.
And then fucking my phone rings.
It's the home secretary.
And yeah, basically he wanted to bury this evidence.
And I said, fuck you, no.
And yeah, he was just like, now listen here, you little cunt.
Yeah.
He was like, I've buried this evidence.
And I said, I can bury you.
Yeah.
I mean, to be fair...
I actually felt anxiety or fear or whatever when someone's home.
The home secretary's going to phone.
I'm going to lose my job.
Honestly, you get so, so...
Got a mortgage to pay.
Oh my God.
But that is your fault because you broke the rules.
I did.
You broke protocol.
But let's, without spoiling it, I think someone broke a bit more rules than me.
Yeah.
This is true.
Spoiler free on this one.
Yes.
Well.
I mean, surely you can go to HR if they've called you a cunt.
I suppose he's the head though, isn't he?
Well, fuck me.
In this one, one of the guys has flirted with a key witness and I've got him in trouble.
And then in walks superintendent, it's only his nephew.
Of course it is.
And then my partner, DCI Sutherland, he said, no, he's suspended.
And superintendent Fowler's like, no, no, I don't think it needs to come with us.
It's like, come with me.
Boy.
Whatever the fuck your name is.
I can't remember his name.
Greg.
Yeah, off he goes.
I was like, I cannot deal with more corrupt police.
You know what I mean?
We've had.
There seems to be the theme going on here.
And this one, it's a OnlyFans, sorry, All My Fans creator.
Creator who's been chopped into pieces on Hampstead Heath.
And we still can't find her head and we can't find a real name either.
So it's been a struggle.
And this is on the Netflix app.
No, it's it's it's a standalone.
Yeah.
Through Netflix.
The other one I've got to do is Oxenfree 2 because I played Oxenfree on the switch and I fucking loved it.
So they give you actual game games as well.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
How do you call scripted crime stories?
Not an actual game game.
You know what I mean?
Oxenfree is kind of similar where you're like running through.
You got to make decisions and stuff.
Is sick.
Very good.
And then I've got another one called Before Your Eyes, which I haven't I haven't even opened the two of them yet because I'm so addicted to scripted.
Amazon Prime also gives you quite a lot of fucking free games as well.
There's you can get quite a lot of free games from multiple places.
Do you not find though, like for so long, I'm like, oh, that'd be shit.
Like I haven't even tried it because I'm like, yeah, yeah, OK.
Well, actually, I suppose when you think about it, you are paying for a service that they're then giving you.
Yeah, I mean, try saying that to Sony with PlayStation Plus because all that stuff is shite.
You know, they're increasing their prices as well.
Of course they are.
They're as far as I'm aware, it's by 20 quid a year per tier.
Oh.
So it's not even like it's a small increase.
It's a big boy increase.
Yeah.
So I'm hoping that they're actually going to fucking do some decent stuff because I feel I think it's like the highest tier that you can get.
Something like 180 quid a year now.
What?
Something like that.
Crazy.
What do you even get for that?
Demos is one of them.
That's grim.
How the fuck can a demo be a perk of a subscription or perk?
How the fuck?
Well, if you can't get it, if you can't demo it on any other level, then yeah, kind of.
So you get to play, you try it before you buy it.
Yeah, but that should be allowed for everyone.
It should be.
Because it's a fucking demo.
You don't pay for beta.
Actually, no, you do now.
You do pay for betas.
Buy the collector's edition and get early access to the beta.
Soap.
That's the kind of shit.
And yeah, me and Mark were just sort of rinsing it because annoyingly, majority of PlayStation games now, you have to have PlayStation Plus to play online.
Yeah.
So you're kind of strong armed into into paying for it because I was like, if I'm not like, if I'm not going to use it, then why am I paying for it?
Unfortunately, I two years ago bought a yearly subscription and forgot that I bought a yearly subscription after every update, which Mark discovered.
It changes your subscription agreement to auto renew after every update, and it must have done it to mine because it was only I've got three just under 300 days left of my PlayStation Plus.
So about two months ago, it took a year's worth of like 90 quid or something like that.
That's bad that you didn't notice.
And I was like, well, I know it's the fucking 90 quid going, but did you not try and get it back?
No, because it was one of those where it's like, I'm going to be on the PlayStation at some point.
So like I kind of need anyway.
But I mean, I won't be paying fucking like 120 quid for it.
No.
Fuck that.
Like Mark said, wait for the PlayStation Plus deal and shit like that.
Yeah.
Heads up is on there.
Heads up.
Heads up. You have to pay for heads up.
I don't know what heads up is.
Heads up.
Oh.
We won't talk about the elephant in the room, which is Starfield.
OK, why?
Because I know fuck all about it.
OK.
I know that there will be people who will be expecting us to talk about it.
Wait until next week or this Friday when when Ash is back because he's actually been playing it.
And it releases for me on what's the date today?
Second?
Fourth.
So it releases for me on Wednesday.
It's when I'm able to play it, which means I should be able to get some decent timing because obviously I'm not in work on Thursday.
So I should be able to have a little crack with it if that thing can fucking handle it.
Lots of people complain about it.
Oh, I know.
But again,
we're not going to talk about it.
Only because I don't know.
I really don't know a lot.
I haven't been liking or searching anything about it.
So naturally, all of my social media is just completely flatlined from from it.
It's probably listening now.
So when I load up TikTok, the first video will be something to do with fucking Starfield.
Probably.
But yeah, other than that, in terms of gaming, not really much been going on.
I put the Steam Deck on last night and the other day.
She brought it to work with me today, but didn't get a chance to play it.
As I'm very much on the cusp of finishing control.
It's one of those where it's like, I want to get it done, but I also want to see some of the side stuff because the first time I played it, I didn't really do much of the side stuff.
So I kind of I know what the ending is.
So it's like there's no there's no absolute rush for me to finish the main story.
And then, yeah, I was just trying to get back into the handheld world of it because I was actually going to see about putting ESO onto it.
OK, because obviously it being on console as well, it the the the control tiny, the controller layout is there is what I mean.
Yeah, it's so hard to see.
Yeah, but people play fucking well on a steam deck.
Do they really though?
Or do they just load it up once and go, oh wow, look at this.
I've seen it, but technically play it, but what you enjoy it.
What you'd have to do is do it through desktop mode.
Yeah, because obviously I'd have to get the launcher and all that and all that bollocks.
I'll have a look at a guide and see how easy it is.
Yeah, but it means if I'm at work and you're not doing nothing, we could play together.
Yeah, but you'll just be squinting because you won't be able to see anything.
No. OK.
Trust me on this one.
Fair enough.
You're welcome.
PlayStation portal, big flop.
Didn't actually talk about it last week.
One of the many things after after we finished the podcast, we both sat there and went, fuck,
didn't talk about this, didn't talk about that, didn't talk about this.
And PlayStation portal was one of them.
Oh, do you know much about it?
Yeah, I know all the things.
Thoughts you think is worth 200 quid.
Is this a little thing?
Mm hmm.
I don't know.
Actually, I lied.
I haven't really seen that much.
But I'm going to give you a brief summary of what it is.
No, we've already done that.
I know what it is.
Yeah.
It's like, is it the case that the PS5 has to be on?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's disgusting.
Has to be on.
You don't have to be on the same Wi-Fi, but you have to be on Wi-Fi.
You can't hotspot.
It has to be a Wi-Fi connection, which to me,
completely kills the portability of it.
Because once you drop connection, that's it.
It's not out.
I know it's not out yet.
So how is it a flop if it's not out?
Well, just reading about it.
And the general consensus around it.
I don't feel like there's a place for it.
200 quid to what is being marketed as being able to play on the PlayStation
in a different part of your home.
200 quid.
It just seems odd.
Maybe it just doesn't suit your lifestyle.
Other people, this might be...
Maybe it doesn't suit your fucking lifestyle.
Right.
This might be exactly what somebody needs.
Right, Nick?
I think it's going to be shit.
The earbuds, on the other hand, I would like them.
I can't stand it in here.
Oh, my God.
Oh, look.
We're going to do the exclusive.
We'll call it...
Can we do it upstairs?
I'm not bringing all this shit in upstairs.
It's not happening.
We can just open a door.
Let the smell out.
Let the spores exit the building.
That's all you want the earbuds, yeah?
Yeah.
Patreon.com forward slash.
Watch the buttons.
Help us.
Pay some dough.
Listen.
Listen to all the exclusives, one of which we're actually going to go and record now.
And then, yeah, that's it.
That is it.
We never have an outro.
No.
Fuck off.
Mold.
Right.
Yeah.
Catch us on that.
We'll see you next week.
Friday.
Couple days.
Four days.
See you later.
Uru.
Over.