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Oh, God. Oh, my God.

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San Francisco, the beat walks something completely different.

3
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That's just a time saver.

4
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You know, sometimes you got to get somewhere fast. Yeah.

5
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Uh, I got I got Sparkle, buddy, all over my notes and we can't go back in time this week.

6
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Damn, we lost our powers.

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Philip, what's your beverage?

8
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I didn't see you said it's mango.

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Oh, I've got the yeah, I got a mango white claw right now.

10
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OK, yeah, that's fair.

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Do you have a backup claw, a backup buddy?

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Oh, yeah, sure do. Sitting right next to me.

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Excellent. Smart. You understand the podcast. Oh, yeah.

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You guys are popping my podcast, Jerry.

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This is my first time ever on a podcast.

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Well, speaking of things that haven't been thought through,

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welcome back to cage match, colon around about way of meeting Nicholas Cage.

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I'm Sean here with my cohost Nick and our producer Peter.

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Hello. And our special guest who will now be introduced by Nick.

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His name is Philip.

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This is Philip. He's my younger brother.

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And how much younger? Four years.

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Four years. What was it like being four years younger than Peter?

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I could make up some crap that, you know, he was like a horrible brother,

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but actually it was cool.

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He would let me hang out with his like high school friends and stuff.

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And they were they were pretty chill, like letting me watch them play video games.

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And they only threw a few, you know, glasses at me here and there.

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So I say it was good.

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I got out pretty unscathed, all things considered.

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We got we got really drunk one time and we just started

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smacking each other in the face and like gleefully laughing

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and running around our kitchen. It was a pretty good time.

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That's like that's a core memory for me.

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Did he show you your first boob?

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That's a good older brother. I don't think so.

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I couldn't tell you when when I saw my first boob, but I don't know.

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I mean, Peter, I would love to give you that honor.

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But I think I was doing my own research.

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When did you see your first boob neck?

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My brother and I were about.

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10 or 11, I think, when we found my dad's pornos.

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And that's also when we found the phone numbers in the back of the pornos.

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And that's how you lost a bunch of money.

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Yeah. Yeah. My brother and I had to pay back a lot of phone bill.

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The ones that had like real people that would answer were always the funniest

47
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because like somebody would answer, we'd be like, oh, fuck,

48
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it's not a recording. OK.

49
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Sound like an adult. Sound like an adult.

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That that was the content I wanted.

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Let me see your boobs.

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We love breasts. This is a phone child.

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Hang up. I mean, you are now a 38 year old man.

54
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Yeah. Who doesn't understand that this is an audio format.

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You're constantly doing like close up magic.

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It doesn't change. Yeah.

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My close up magic is on on fleek these days.

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I mean, there's no way to prove one way or the other to these people.

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It's true.

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Well, now that we've alienated our female audience, that's pretty good.

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I don't know. Maybe drop down in the comments, ladies.

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Tell me about the first boob you ever saw.

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For us to start on this podcast, we talk about boobs as well as review

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64 Nicolas Cage movies in a head to head style competition.

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And we will inevitably whittle this down to the final best Nick Cage film.

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What seeds are these, Peter?

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These are so Conair is a four seed and rage is a 13 seed.

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We are talking about Conair and rage today.

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We're good at this.

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And this is the serious guy bracket.

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Or wait, no, it's a tough guy.

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It's pretty tough. Yeah, this is tough guy.

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Oh, I figured it was the Alabama guy category.

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Look at me with egg on my face.

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No, he's Irish in the in rage, isn't he?

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Yeah, but it's filmed in Mobile, Alabama.

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Oh, that's that's true.

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It's an interesting connection.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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I didn't really think about that when I was watching Rage,

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but I didn't think about a lot because I was just so busy being angry.

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Yeah.

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Angry for the stealing of his daughters.

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Yeah, I think I can boil it down for you guys real quick.

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Basically, first of all, if you're going to do crime,

86
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you need a cool crime jacket, as we've spoken about before.

87
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Yep. And then on top of that, guns are cool.

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Alcohol is not cool.

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Teenagers are stupid.

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And yeah, I think that sums it up, right?

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Strike this man from the podcast.

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Alcohol is indeed cool.

93
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Yeah, alcohol is cool.

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Guns not cool because knives are quieter.

95
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Nick Cage established that he is a knife guy.

96
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Yeah, knife guy.

97
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But not a nice guy.

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Yeah. OK.

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Well, don't drink and play with guns.

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That's a really good lesson, though.

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Spoiler.

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We're I don't think that should be spoiling anything for anybody.

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Anybody who's considering handgun ownership should probably know.

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No drinking gun.

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I mean, statistics in this country would say a lot of people do. OK.

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This is getting into a serious topic here.

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No, we're not going to do that.

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Let's make it dumb again. Yeah.

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We have the brief.

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Don't play with guns.

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Give us give us the why. Yeah.

112
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Yeah, I can walk you guys through it.

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Yeah. So basically he Nick Cage is playing

114
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Paul and Paul is a former criminal.

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He's been tied to the Irish mob and he has this crew that he works with.

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But they're all retired.

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And now he's he's become a, you know, straight upstanding

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member of society.

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And I think within the first two minutes of the movie, he says that

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he kind of gives you his blue collar bona fides like six times.

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He's like, yeah, I used to swing hammer all day long and blah, blah, blah.

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And so now he's in the construction business.

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He's left his swinging hammer days behind him to be kind of a businessman

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working with the mayor and stuff.

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He's he's a big wig, no longer a criminal.

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He's got a nice family, a daughter who's I think she's like

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16 or 17 or something like that.

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And yeah, 17 seems right,

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because they were talking about next year for the SATs.

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That's right. That's right.

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And he also says that at the end of the movie, he's talking about how,

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oh, I was her age when they first gave me my my first knife.

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Blah, blah, blah.

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Yeah. So basically like something crazy happens.

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There's a break in to his house while he's out to a very generic dinner

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with his wife and all these people that are connected to some

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construction project that he's working on.

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They try to figure out who's kidnapped his daughter.

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He has to kind of interrogate his his daughter's boyfriend.

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I feel like I'm missing a lot of steps here, guys.

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This is a very detailed movie.

142
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And everything you miss will just cut in later.

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Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.

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Yeah. So anyway, he he goes and interrogates the

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the boyfriend and it basically tells him this.

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This just off the handle story about how he's like, yeah, I used to go in.

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And one time I beat up this Puerto Rican dude

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because he called my wife a slut and blah, blah, blah.

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And well, anyway, you should have.

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I would expect you to step in front of a gun and block a bullet for my daughter.

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He's telling this to a 17 year old kid who's terrified out of his mind.

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So he decides to go and call on his old, you know, crime buddies,

153
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Kane and Danny after getting out his old crime jacket.

154
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Yeah, his old crime jacket. Exactly.

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So he they all get together and they start cracking skulls.

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I think Danny and Kane decide that the best approach

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to figuring out who kidnapped the daughter is to just go harassed to

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drug addicts and like try and choke one by tying a rope around her neck

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and throwing a cinder block out the window because nobody in this movie

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understands how physics works.

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So it's just like, yeah, sure, that that'll happen.

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That'll pull her out the window, of course.

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That was a real long rope, too.

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And they were only on the second floor. Yeah. Yeah.

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Yeah. I mean, it certainly could have like broke her neck

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the way he just kind of tossed it out.

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But that's not how we played this.

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But he did do that cool, like shoot the rope off the windowsill

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when he like let her go.

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And then he was walking away and he was all like,

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oh, I can't believe that actually worked.

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Danny was like, well, you've never done that before.

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It's like, no, never. Awesome.

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I did really like Kane. Yeah.

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I mean, he was an idiot, but he was he was just like

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the easiest going thug criminal guy.

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Well, so throughout the film and we first see it when the crime jacket is donned,

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a cut to a different crime.

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Like for the life of me, I couldn't figure out who was supposed to be

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who in this flashback. Oh, my God.

181
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Because even though one guy had the crime jacket, it was the biggest,

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fattest guy. Hey, that's rude.

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That's Nick Cage's son, sir. Is it? That was call.

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Yeah. Whatever his name is.

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He's in another one of the movies.

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Nick Cage's we need to we need Weston Cage.

187
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Yeah. Weston Cage. That's his name.

188
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We need it. We need to we need to quack that because we want Nick Cage on here

189
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eventually. Yeah. Yeah.

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Quit being mean to his kid.

191
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He's a fat kid.

192
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He expects you to take a bullet for his kid.

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You son of a bitch.

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The only child I mean to is Finn Wolfheart.

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Yeah, that kid sucks.

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Go back to episode two to find out why.

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I mean, I think they can probably figure it out.

198
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,600
They've seen his face. Yeah.

199
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:06,440
But just the the one person who looks the least

200
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:10,080
like they could be Nick Cage in this film plays a young Nick Cage,

201
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,520
which is really ironic because it is a relation. Yeah. Yeah.

202
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,440
I mean, it's like it's this big it's he's a big stocky dude.

203
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:20,760
And like he's about a head taller than the other two guys in the crew,

204
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,120
which Nicholas Cage is not.

205
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,840
Yeah, it was an interesting casting choice.

206
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:30,080
I mean, I assume just because they're related, it was chosen.

207
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:31,480
It was good, though.

208
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,360
I mean, he had the crime jacket on.

209
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,840
That's how I knew it was supposed to be.

210
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,280
It's crime time. Yeah. Nick Cage in the flashback.

211
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:38,840
Don't jacket.

212
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:42,080
But yeah, they they like beat this dude up and like throw the driver out.

213
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,080
And they take this car.

214
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,720
And then later, you know, we see them trying to like

215
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:51,760
cut this handcuffed suitcase off of the hand of the dude that's in the back.

216
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:52,800
And they're like, I can't do it.

217
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,440
So they just cut his hand off.

218
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,680
These are bad criminals.

219
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,880
Yeah. I mean, they were kids,

220
00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:01,960
and probably just jacking their first drop off.

221
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:02,760
Oh, whatever.

222
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,800
They stole a bunch of money is how it really like boils down.

223
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:06,720
They stole a bunch of money.

224
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,040
That's probably mobsters.

225
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,760
How he, you know, funded his clean life.

226
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,360
And I watched the movie twice once today, both times.

227
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,400
At the end of it, I was just like.

228
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,680
What just happened?

229
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,520
Yeah, Phil, how many times did you end up watching these?

230
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,920
I watched this motherfucker twice, and I'm not super happy about it.

231
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,240
Conair was was great on the second watch.

232
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,320
But yeah, rage, man.

233
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,920
It was a slog getting through both times.

234
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:36,920
I kind of jumped around because you guys had primed me for how much it sucked shit.

235
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,880
And I basically watched the beginning and I watched the last like

236
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,240
30 or 20 minutes and that was about it.

237
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,520
You missed all the best parts.

238
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,800
Tell me more.

239
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,560
Yeah. So what happened next, Philip?

240
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:49,280
Well, yeah. All right.

241
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,120
So where were we? We were talking about how

242
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,800
crime, crime time, crime time.

243
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,680
Yep. Start rousting people.

244
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:57,200
What happens after the rousting?

245
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,080
Is this after the daughter is dead?

246
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,560
Yeah, we find out the daughter's dead.

247
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:04,200
Yeah, it doesn't take too long before they're like, oh, yeah, she is dead.

248
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,920
Oh, also the detective on this case, Danny Glover.

249
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,480
Yeah, Detective St.

250
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:12,400
John. All right. So yeah, they they go rough people up.

251
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,840
There's we have that flashback about when they were kids

252
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,640
and they killed the Russian mobster crime.

253
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,960
And then they start figuring out.

254
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,720
We have a little scene between Kane and Danny where they're trying to say, like,

255
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,840
OK, well, we were the only three people there at the scene

256
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,720
who killed those that Russian mobster.

257
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,600
So like one of us had to be the snitch, right?

258
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,800
But like, I know we didn't talk.

259
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,320
So the whole question becomes for the rest of the movie, you know, who

260
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,680
who killed Caitlin and who snitched that that then like led the,

261
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,000
you know, ostensibly the Russians to kill her.

262
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,920
They think it's the Russians because friends, the forensics

263
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,000
comes back or the ballistics comes back rather.

264
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:51,640
And she was shot with a Tokarov Tokarov, exactly.

265
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,680
Which was the original name for this movie.

266
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,040
Oh, was it? Yeah.

267
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,800
You can find a bunch of posters of like Tokarov.

268
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,160
Yeah. Episode zero. I was really puzzled by that.

269
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,560
I didn't do any deep diving into why it was named that.

270
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,040
So I was like, what the fuck?

271
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,920
Makes sense, I guess. But that's a dumb name.

272
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,880
Yeah. Rage is a dumber name. Yeah.

273
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,120
Yeah. They should have just named it crime.

274
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,080
But crime in a way that you understand that you're saying it crime. Yeah.

275
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,480
That's that's a font choice thing, right? Yeah.

276
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,720
An ellipsis in front of it. Just that that that crime.

277
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,040
Crime time.

278
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,160
This is quickly becoming crying time.

279
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,480
Sorry, I started this.

280
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,480
Yeah. So we know the daughter is dead and they've been.

281
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,360
They find the daughter in a hunt.

282
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:38,240
They find the daughter in a creek about two blocks away from their house.

283
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:39,960
And it takes them a few days.

284
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,560
I was going to say, what was she wearing?

285
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:42,560
But what's she wearing? I don't know.

286
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,520
I skipped this part of the movie.

287
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,200
I don't know.

288
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,880
Honestly, I don't I don't know if they talk about it.

289
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,920
I think she was just wearing whatever she had on

290
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,880
when we saw her in the house scene at the beginning of the movie.

291
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,520
So like, you know, whatever that was when she was hanging out with her friends.

292
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:55,720
That tracks.

293
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,320
I mean, I was just going to say, like,

294
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,840
depending on what she was wearing, she could have been asking for it.

295
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,000
It could not have been a crime. Jesus Christ.

296
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,640
Oh, my God. Shut the fuck up.

297
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,760
Sometimes I go outside and I'm wearing something.

298
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:12,120
I'm like, well, you know, if I got shot in the head and dumped in a creek today,

299
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,800
I'd be my fault. Look at what I'm wearing.

300
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:16,760
Just asking for it.

301
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,760
I mean, you do have that shirt that says, please, shoot me in the head

302
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,160
and dump me in a creek. Yeah, that was a gift.

303
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,320
Off of a body.

304
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,520
It would be rude not to wear it then.

305
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,120
Yeah, that was a gift from your grandmother.

306
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,200
Yeah. Well, you know, she's getting old.

307
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,680
So I don't think she got the font, the font choice.

308
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,160
It was all in old English.

309
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,600
You guys want some more of that sweet, sweet, fascinating plot.

310
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,920
All right. Keep going. Yeah. Lay it on me.

311
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:45,160
So decide that they need to get the attention of the Russians,

312
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,440
you know, because obviously, if the Russians did it,

313
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:52,200
they're going to have to get them to meet up or reveal themselves.

314
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,480
So they go to some random, you know, like poker,

315
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,960
backroom poker game where the Russians are hanging out

316
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,600
and they just start beating everybody up there.

317
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:05,880
But I mean, it is the saddest, slowest, most old man fight.

318
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:09,160
Oh, yeah. So I do love this scene, though,

319
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:13,560
because they have to like argue with the guy at the door to get in,

320
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:17,400
punch him through the door, just run in, start just decking people

321
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,800
up. As his as his crew is just beating up all these Russians.

322
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:26,600
Nick Cage just saunter's over to the poker table with a handful of cash,

323
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:31,160
throws it on the table, leans over, whispers something in the guy's ear

324
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,600
as a fight is happening.

325
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,160
And that's when the guys at the table decide to get involved.

326
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,120
Yeah, it was very weird. And he never recovered that money.

327
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,600
It was like thousands of dollars and like fifties.

328
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,880
Well, he was going to use that money to pay his boys and they didn't want it.

329
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,400
So it's still money. Yeah, right.

330
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,400
Like that's still you can track that.

331
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:53,560
I'm not arguing with you that that was his reasoning, but it's like, that's dumb.

332
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,040
He's a dumb, dumb businessman.

333
00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:00,840
No wonder he f**king failed at being a criminal, giving all this money away.

334
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,080
This is also the first time we see his knife skills.

335
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,720
So he is like all pro knife.

336
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,200
Like he's not he doesn't know bang bang.

337
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,840
He prefers the knife. Yeah, he prefers the knives because they're quiet.

338
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,400
And we get our first kind of look at it.

339
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,680
We get a better look at it later.

340
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,080
But this thing looks like it came out of a spirit Halloween.

341
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,920
Oh, yeah. No, this is like a mall knife.

342
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,920
Yeah. He's like an all ninja.

343
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,040
It's huge. It's stupid.

344
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,400
And the handle is like engraved with faces.

345
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,080
He comes in stabbing and then immediately sheaves it too.

346
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,000
And it's like, dude, that's all going to dry in there.

347
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,920
And then your knife's going to get stuck.

348
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,000
Come on, be a better criminal.

349
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,280
I wrote down for this scene that get Paul some sharper knives

350
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:44,920
because it's just that ridiculous part where he's slicing the guy's wrist over and over again.

351
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,040
And for some reason, he thinks that's a viable combat tactic.

352
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,000
Well, we've even talked in other movies.

353
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,680
It's like he went across the street.

354
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,680
You got to go like down the block or whatever.

355
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,600
That's right. He's cut in the wrong direction.

356
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,400
Yeah, it was kind of like death by a thousand cuts.

357
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,800
Like he just kept cutting that guy's wrist and it's like,

358
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,960
oh, I'm trying to just saw it off or something.

359
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,480
And then some guy pulls a gun and he decides he's going to run across the room to stab the guy.

360
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,800
Yeah. And his buddy just shoots him.

361
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:15,880
Yeah. This was our first look at how action sequences were really going to be handled in this movie.

362
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,720
Oh, God. And it is hard.

363
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:24,760
It's like if you turn to Transformers movie on its side and just like shook it like you can't see

364
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:30,040
anything, it's the only way to hide the fact that, oh, let's see, Nick Cage would have been 49.

365
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,680
So he's like about 50 when this movie comes out.

366
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,320
And I mean, he's not the quickest mover.

367
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,440
No, it shows most of his attacks are kicks.

368
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,120
He's a kick attack kind of guy.

369
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,360
Kicks and knives. Kicks and knives.

370
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,480
The classic duo.

371
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:48,760
It's a real shame to having having this up against Con Air where he's doing like

372
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:53,400
sweet ass roundhouse kicks and just the editing of sequences is so much more dynamic.

373
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,720
And this he's a younger man toward people.

374
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:56,600
Yeah, it's true.

375
00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,920
After he fucks up all the Russians at the poker game, we do get the classic.

376
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:06,600
He's in his like black tiled shower, leaned against the wall, back flexed as like water runs down.

377
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:07,480
Really thinking.

378
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:12,680
Yeah. Was this when you just asked to choke his wife in the most uncomfortable scene in the entire movie?

379
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,080
Yeah. Oh, with the most awkward kiss ever.

380
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:18,280
Like that actress wasn't having any of it.

381
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,720
Nick Cage's kiss just comes in so strong.

382
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,920
He was going to like, I don't know.

383
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,480
Yeah. Mouth up the entire thing.

384
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:33,640
And then it just evolves to sad, like ugly crying on both their parts.

385
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,360
It's just a bizarre choice for this scene.

386
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:37,720
They're going through something there.

387
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:42,120
Well, his daughter and her stepdaughter has died because that's a plot point

388
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,280
they keep bringing up for reasons that don't matter.

389
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:48,520
Why the fuck do we care that it's not like it's a stepmom situation?

390
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,840
It's what does Peter Storm here come into this entire.

391
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,440
Oh, at the daughter's funeral.

392
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:53,720
Oh, that's all iron sides.

393
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:54,440
Yeah. Yeah.

394
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,920
My favorite quote, I'm just going to get in here right now.

395
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,360
And it's not a quote.

396
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:05,800
It's the quotes that are in my head is after the funeral when he's like Cage's old crime boss.

397
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:12,360
And he rolls up on his wheelchair and he just says to him, like, can we take a walk?

398
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:17,720
And in my head, I'm just like, ah, 50% of this conversation can walk.

399
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,360
When he said that, I really I just expected Peter Storm

400
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,080
to just like step up out of the like wheelchair.

401
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,560
He just makes one of his guys like push him around as a power move.

402
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,680
Yeah, that would be sick.

403
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,240
But no, it's like, I don't want to use these legs. Fuck them.

404
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:33,800
Yeah. I think actually he's my favorite part of this only for that line,

405
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,320
like asking if they can take a walk when he obviously can't.

406
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:42,680
Then later when he meets with the Russian and they're on that ramp in the parking garage

407
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:47,800
and they get into a gunfight and like Peter Storm, it runs out of bullets.

408
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,640
And he looks over and there's a gun on the ground.

409
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:53,320
It's like, wow, gunfights really suck when people are in wheelchairs.

410
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,880
It's like this is the worst action ever.

411
00:18:55,880 --> 00:19:01,080
But I do want to see like an all wheelchair action movie now.

412
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:05,000
So did you ever watch? Did you ever watch Crippled Masters with me?

413
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:07,080
What's that?

414
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:13,080
It's this ridiculous, ridiculous martial arts movie that I found in like a DVD bin somewhere.

415
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:13,960
No way.

416
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,320
Yeah, look it up. It's incredible.

417
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,200
Google it.

418
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:20,360
So it's I mean, the like the concept of this film is that there's these two guys

419
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,960
who are martial artists, but one of them has his arms burned with acid

420
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,000
and the other one has his legs like destroyed in some accident.

421
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:27,960
Yes, I do know.

422
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,000
And they end up having to team up together because one of them is strong in the arm.

423
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,760
And one of them is strong in the legs.

424
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,800
And they have to beat this guy who has like a weird turtle shell back.

425
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,440
And there's like four sound effects for the whole movie.

426
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,120
It it fucking rules.

427
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:43,240
I highly recommend anyone watch Crippled Masters.

428
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,680
Yeah, I'm watching this shit.

429
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,920
I'm just looking at some of this poster art and it is outstanding.

430
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,160
Yeah, it's a it's a good one.

431
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,800
Is this going to be another like eat a sandwich in your garage?

432
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:54,920
Then we watch this film.

433
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:56,680
For sure.

434
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,720
Yeah, why not?

435
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:02,280
Well, can we talk a little about O'Connell's accent?

436
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,520
Like, what the fuck is going on with this accent?

437
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:08,040
Peter Stormare, he's like he's supposed to be Irish ostensibly.

438
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:12,280
And I could not for the life of me track where his accent was coming from.

439
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,080
I don't know if he just that accent is 100 percent Peter Stormare.

440
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,280
I thought so. It's just him, right?

441
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,280
Yeah, that is just him.

442
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,520
I mean, I guess in Fargo, he sounded a little different.

443
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,840
They did not give him a whole lot of speaking lines.

444
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:27,640
And now I understand why it is interesting because like he and Kate are pretty dynamic.

445
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,800
Actors, but they just have no chemistry at all.

446
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,800
Well, they have nothing to do in this movie.

447
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,160
Fair. I like Peter Stormare.

448
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,120
Yeah. Yeah.

449
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:39,000
For reasons unknown to us, Danny Glover is kind of like in Cages corner.

450
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,840
And it's always like giving him free advice of like, you know, don't go back to your old ways.

451
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:47,560
Oh, yeah. And then like after that car chase, like when they kidnap Danny

452
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:51,080
and he's like chasing after the other criminals,

453
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,360
the one decent bit of action in the film.

454
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:57,640
Yeah. Although that was also super shaky.

455
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,680
It's like, come on.

456
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,800
It's not like cage is physically running after the cars.

457
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,200
I mean, I feel like you heard you could hear the sarcasm in the way I said.

458
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,200
But then like he gets into like this.

459
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,120
I don't know. There's all sorts of property damage.

460
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,200
And then the cops finally stop him and they catch him.

461
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,280
And it's like, no, just let him go.

462
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,960
You got a Paul Polly. Come on. Don't do this.

463
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,960
So Danny gets kidnapped by the Russians.

464
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,640
There's a whole thing where they like shoot up a meth lab

465
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:24,600
that the Russians are running.

466
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:31,880
We missed the whole chase scene with where he's chasing that guy out of the strip club

467
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:35,880
and ends up that leads to like this cagey as well as in the entire movie.

468
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:42,600
So yeah, but they yeah, they have to like escalate up to the next level of the rough Russian mob.

469
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,640
And they chase this guy out of the strip club.

470
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,440
And then Danny, one of the partners, shoots this guy.

471
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:53,800
And I love that Kane is like, you can't just shoot somebody out in the middle of the street.

472
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,840
And so Nick Cage chases, I put that heavily in quotation marks,

473
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,880
chases this guy into like some kind of warehouse.

474
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:03,480
And the dude's bleeding out. They end up on the roof and he falls down.

475
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,240
And Cage is trying to, or Paul's trying to like interrogate him and be like, all right,

476
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,000
you need to tell me who killed my daughter.

477
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000
And he keeps being like, no, no, no, don't die.

478
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,680
And then he'll like beat the shit out of guy and like slam his head into the ground and like,

479
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:15,800
stop dying.

480
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:16,360
Yeah.

481
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:20,680
Don't die. Who did it? Um, the only I mean, the only reason this character is even relevant

482
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,040
is because he was the other guy in the carjacking from their youths.

483
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,360
Yes, he was the driver that they threw out.

484
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:30,440
And then like the Russian mobster thought that he stole the money.

485
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,040
So we like cut off some fingers.

486
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:36,440
We finally meet there like the leader of the Russian mob who kind of looks like Chris Parnell.

487
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,760
Kind of looks like Chris Parnell, but also just looks like a bull terrier.

488
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,280
Like they have the same face.

489
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:47,720
And then he just looks like a fucking sad, long face dog.

490
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,960
And he's this squinty eyes.

491
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,400
Yeah. The leader of the Russian mob is the only character I kind of get in this film

492
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,840
that I kind of like because he's the only one who has his head on his fucking shoulders.

493
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,160
He's like all this random violence.

494
00:22:59,160 --> 00:22:59,960
What's it for?

495
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:03,080
You know, back in the day, people would tell you why they're killing you.

496
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,440
I just don't understand.

497
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,880
They used to take you out to dinner and wine and dine you before they killed your henchmen.

498
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:09,240
Times have changed.

499
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,400
Crime used to be cool.

500
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,720
But yeah, they go for Kane.

501
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:14,360
Yeah.

502
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:17,000
And he calls up Paul and he's like, you know, the Russians are here.

503
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,520
Oh, is this the yelling scene?

504
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:18,920
Yeah.

505
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:19,480
Oh, yeah.

506
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:19,960
Yeah.

507
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,520
This is when I this is when I actually tuned back into this movie.

508
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,280
Paul thinks that, you know, Danny's one who squealed.

509
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:27,880
Yeah, he basically he kills.

510
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,240
He accidentally kills Danny.

511
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,160
I don't think it was an accident.

512
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:31,640
It was pretty intense.

513
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,840
He killed him on purpose, but just, you know, it was a crime of passion.

514
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:35,160
Yeah.

515
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,080
And then he's like tries to like, like, Danny.

516
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,200
Oh, my buddy.

517
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,920
Sweet, Danny.

518
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:41,480
Joshy.

519
00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:42,680
Joshy.

520
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:45,400
They're not doing that again.

521
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,200
This is rare for me, but I'm cracking my second buddy already.

522
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,040
Oh, shit.

523
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,400
This movie is making you turn to alcoholism, Peter.

524
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,640
It's completely understandable.

525
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,960
He didn't even watch the whole thing and he's got a problem.

526
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,160
This is a rough movie.

527
00:23:59,160 --> 00:23:59,800
What do you guys think?

528
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,080
I'm addicted to heroin right now.

529
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:01,480
Jesus.

530
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:04,680
So Danny does.

531
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:05,000
Yeah.

532
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:05,240
Yeah.

533
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,120
Why don't you just fast forward us through the end of this film?

534
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:11,720
Yeah, I actually thought that the movie like I had missed something

535
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,240
because it basically went from that to him confronting the teenager.

536
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:15,960
Yeah, pretty much.

537
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,360
We get the shootout scene and.

538
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:18,600
Yeah.

539
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:22,600
Well, he goes home because he's like, oh, Tokarov, Tokarov, Tokarov.

540
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,200
I know where there's a Tokarov.

541
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,560
This really sold the movie for me.

542
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:32,280
This fucking scene where they so we find out it's the boyfriend that did it,

543
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,120
but it was an accident because they.

544
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,840
So basically retells it with this stupid reenactment.

545
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:42,120
And I don't know if anybody else was getting like Zoolander gasoline fight vibes from.

546
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:45,640
Yes, it was killing me because of the kids.

547
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:50,120
They're like, we were getting drunk and we wanted to ask what's his daughter's name,

548
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:50,520
Caitlin.

549
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,280
We wanted to ask Caitlin about her dad's.

550
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,800
We were like, oh, we knew he was a criminal and like, do you have any cool stories or

551
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:59,080
any like relics from back when he was a criminal to show us?

552
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,920
And, you know, she can't show them his his crime jacket.

553
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,200
Because he's wearing it.

554
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,600
So she wasn't wearing the crime jacket yet.

555
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,040
He didn't take that out until she died.

556
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:08,520
No, you're right.

557
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,200
Why not just show him the crime jacket?

558
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,800
This thing whole thing could have been avoided.

559
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,280
Yeah, that shows you that he's doing crime.

560
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:19,400
Yeah, no, but so she's like, OK, fine, I guess actually we have like a box full of guns

561
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:19,880
upstairs.

562
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:24,440
So so she takes him up to this this closet, gets the box out and they're all like passing

563
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,600
out guns and then like pretending to shoot each other and giggling and drinking straight

564
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,680
out of like bottles of tequila or whatever.

565
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,920
And then it's of course raining outside.

566
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,920
They decide it's a great idea to go run around in the wet grass and like chase each other

567
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:37,800
with guns.

568
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,880
And for whatever reason, the dumb boyfriend is like facing the other way and he's getting

569
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,640
very serious about pointing his gun.

570
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:47,320
And Caitlin comes up to him and taps him on the shoulder and he turns around and just

571
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:48,600
fucking shoots her in the head.

572
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:53,640
Yeah, it's the dumbest shit I've ever seen in a movie, but it honestly made the movie

573
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:54,040
for me.

574
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:58,360
I was not on board until that dumb as rocks twist.

575
00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:00,920
So yeah, what does he say?

576
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,160
He's like, oh, what like guns there?

577
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,960
They're so scary and cool and I just didn't know what to do.

578
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:06,360
Yeah.

579
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:11,720
So like that him and his buddy go and like dump the body in the creek as you do.

580
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,960
And then they're like, look at what she was wearing.

581
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:16,680
Classic Creek outfit.

582
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:21,480
And then they have to go and like they come up with the story of the home invasion.

583
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:26,680
So they like smash the place up and then like take turns like taking like slugs from like

584
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:30,200
vodka from a vodka handle and punching each other in the face.

585
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:35,240
And this gets to my biggest issue with this film is to how terrible these cops are because

586
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,920
it even says in the beginning when like Nick Cage comes home, like what about the neighbors?

587
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:39,960
Did they hear anything?

588
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,200
No, no one heard a gunshot.

589
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,960
It was a very rainy night, Sean.

590
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:45,000
It was heavy rain.

591
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,760
You would still hear a gunshot.

592
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,480
Also, that bullet would have gone somewhere.

593
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:50,760
It did.

594
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:51,960
It went into her brain.

595
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:53,400
There would be blood.

596
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:54,360
Heavy rain.

597
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:58,600
Heavy rain, just the fact that she was put in the creek, like like you said, two blocks away.

598
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,880
And they didn't do a search immediately around the house to look.

599
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,200
Yeah, it's just Alabama cops.

600
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,480
What you're going to do, guys?

601
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:06,360
How does this thing end?

602
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:13,080
Yeah, basically, once it's all revealed, Paul decides not to kill the boyfriend.

603
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:17,320
He shoots a couple of rounds in the ground, goes back home and prepares himself to be

604
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:18,200
shot by the Russians.

605
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,680
And there's nothing more to it.

606
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:26,520
He just sits down, we get kind of a close up on his face and we see the Russians coming

607
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,040
in and then he dies.

608
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:33,720
And then there's a very boring credit roll where they're just taking his body out on a

609
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:39,480
gurney and then they make his poor wife, they make that actress do yet more crying work

610
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,600
right as she's seeing his body come out of the house.

611
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,040
So that's about it.

612
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:44,280
All right.

613
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,280
Where do you guys think this falls on the Venn diagram?

614
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,000
Bad Cage, bad movie.

615
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,880
Yeah, this is one of the few times I really feel like he completely phoned this in.

616
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,720
And apparently he did this because he really liked the director's first movie.

617
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,160
Neon Flesh.

618
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,360
Yeah, I think that was it.

619
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,040
I didn't look into any of it.

620
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,560
Yeah, they appeared.

621
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:04,760
Sexy killer.

622
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,200
Spanish movie.

623
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,320
Bon Appetit.

624
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,760
Neon Flesh again.

625
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:09,800
Yeah, I think it was Neon Flesh.

626
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,960
Wait, there's a movie just called Spanish movie.

627
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:12,280
Yes.

628
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:13,640
Cool.

629
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,160
No idea why this movie exists.

630
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:20,360
Nick Cage, like he says he's never phoned in a role, but this role seemed fairly found in.

631
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:21,080
Oh, yeah.

632
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:25,880
Yeah, I don't think the role didn't offer a whole lot for sure for him to, you know,

633
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:26,920
sink his teeth into.

634
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,480
I read one good quote about this movie.

635
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:34,600
It's from Chris Cofell at a film school rejects and he said, Rage isn't terrible,

636
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,960
but it's pretty bland.

637
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,960
It's like cooking, but failing to use salt.

638
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:38,760
Yeah.

639
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:40,520
Yeah.

640
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:46,360
For a movie with a title that has such an intense emotion, it's like, yeah, Nick Cage

641
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:52,520
gets like angry and stuff in it, but I don't think I ever feel like he's just overwhelmed

642
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:53,640
with rage.

643
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:58,280
Like if he had just gone completely off the deep end, that'd be cool.

644
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,080
Gone ham.

645
00:28:59,080 --> 00:28:59,320
Yeah.

646
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:01,880
Oh, man, here's what I wanted.

647
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:03,960
And I didn't know until right now.

648
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,080
I wanted the movie to start out as it did.

649
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,280
But then when Nick Cage goes and gets his crime jacket,

650
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:16,200
then it becomes like a horror like movie where he's a like a predator stalking everybody

651
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:21,880
and just coming out insanely enraged, like some feral animal and just like tears through

652
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:26,440
the Russian mob and then give us the thing from like everybody else, like from Danny

653
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:32,040
Glover's perspective as this wild rabid Nick Cage.

654
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:36,600
I give this movie one mall kiosk knives out of seven.

655
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:37,160
Okay.

656
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,320
I don't know why that top number seven adjusts.

657
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:40,280
No, that's that's correct.

658
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,200
That's the correct number of mall kiosk knives.

659
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,440
If you own more than seven, then you're then that's just your personality.

660
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,840
How many drunk teenagers do you give this movie, Philip?

661
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:55,320
Oh, yeah, this is a this is a solid 10 drunk teenagers, 10 out of 10.

662
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,240
It's yeah, swept up.

663
00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:58,840
Man, those are some dumb teenagers.

664
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,120
I would probably say nine out of 10 because we did leave one in the creek.

665
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,520
Oh, God, that's a very good point.

666
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:06,200
All right.

667
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,800
Do you guys have any quotes from this fucking movie?

668
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:08,680
I do not.

669
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,280
Just my imaginary quotes.

670
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:10,760
Yeah.

671
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:12,200
Philip, did you get anything?

672
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:12,760
Oh, hell yeah.

673
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,800
This is the best quote in the movie is from Danny Glover.

674
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:16,600
So Detective St.

675
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:21,560
John, they go in to clean up the mess after the crews like shot up the meth house.

676
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:25,560
And there's a guy dying dead on the floor and his Danny Glover's partner is like,

677
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:26,360
Oh, who's this?

678
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:30,040
And he goes, meet Sasha Borat rap sheet as long as my dick.

679
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,520
Yeah, Danny Glover did have the best line in this film.

680
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:35,960
Why is he in this film?

681
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,960
He pops up in the weirdest things now.

682
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,440
Like he's one of those actors that I always think is dead

683
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,440
just because I haven't seen him in anything in forever.

684
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,200
And then he just shows up and shows up.

685
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:44,600
Roll.

686
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:44,840
Yeah.

687
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:46,520
Yeah.

688
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:47,960
Danny Glover rest in peace.

689
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:49,560
At least his career.

690
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,760
Yeah, I don't think I have a quote for this either

691
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:56,040
because I really didn't watch this movie, but I did like him yelling rat at

692
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,640
his buddy before he accidentally quote unquote kills him.

693
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:00,040
Oh, yeah.

694
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,360
He did yell rat a lot.

695
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,960
It's not that great of a movie.

696
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,680
I don't know if I'd go so far as to be like, it's bad.

697
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,480
It's not it's very a rampant in the middle.

698
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,040
Like bland without salt is very apt.

699
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:16,120
Is it just one giant gun safety PSA?

700
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,960
That's basically my takeaway.

701
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:18,840
Kind of is.

702
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,760
Or maybe just like birth control PSA.

703
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:21,640
Like don't have stupid kids.

704
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,280
They'll get drunk and shoot each other with your like crime guns.

705
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,280
I thought we did that last week with mom and dad.

706
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:28,360
OK.

707
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,120
Now that was a reason to have children.

708
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:31,160
So you could kill them.

709
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:31,660
Yes.

710
00:31:31,660 --> 00:31:36,460
It sounds like a big investment for something like that.

711
00:31:37,340 --> 00:31:39,580
Why don't you just have a child and I'll come by and.

712
00:31:40,540 --> 00:31:41,340
No, you can't kill.

713
00:31:41,340 --> 00:31:42,780
You can't kill someone else's kid.

714
00:31:42,780 --> 00:31:44,060
You have no desire for it.

715
00:31:44,060 --> 00:31:44,380
Yeah.

716
00:31:44,380 --> 00:31:45,180
Boo.

717
00:31:45,180 --> 00:31:46,300
You don't know me.

718
00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:47,900
You didn't see what it was wearing.

719
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:48,300
All right.

720
00:31:48,300 --> 00:31:50,860
Let's talk about so much of this.

721
00:31:50,860 --> 00:31:51,340
Can't air.

722
00:31:51,340 --> 00:31:51,840
Not OK.

723
00:31:52,860 --> 00:31:54,220
Some of it's gold.

724
00:31:54,220 --> 00:31:56,060
I'm fucking hitting on everything.

725
00:31:56,060 --> 00:31:56,860
Con Air.

726
00:31:56,860 --> 00:31:57,100
All right.

727
00:31:57,100 --> 00:32:00,620
So as we discussed last week, this was my first time ever watching like

728
00:32:00,620 --> 00:32:05,260
the film Con Air and not just like clips from tuning in on TNT.

729
00:32:05,980 --> 00:32:07,020
First time with the film.

730
00:32:07,020 --> 00:32:07,500
Con Air.

731
00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:09,340
Very familiar with the novelization.

732
00:32:09,340 --> 00:32:13,340
So yes, I wrote my dissertation on the novelization of Con Air.

733
00:32:15,340 --> 00:32:15,740
OK.

734
00:32:15,740 --> 00:32:17,180
Well, tell us what you thought of it.

735
00:32:17,980 --> 00:32:22,140
Also, what is this movie for all the other people in the world who've never seen.

736
00:32:22,140 --> 00:32:23,180
Con Air.

737
00:32:23,180 --> 00:32:24,540
So you'd seen Con Air, right?

738
00:32:24,540 --> 00:32:25,020
Oh, yeah.

739
00:32:25,020 --> 00:32:25,900
Back in the day.

740
00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:28,540
Yeah, I got a lot more out of it watching it now.

741
00:32:28,540 --> 00:32:32,780
Now that we're kind of that much further away from the 90s and all the weird kind of like

742
00:32:32,780 --> 00:32:37,500
you just know the way that they depicted, you know, law enforcement and, you know,

743
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:39,340
criminals in the 90s.

744
00:32:39,340 --> 00:32:41,260
It's super campy.

745
00:32:42,060 --> 00:32:44,220
But it was interesting watching that.

746
00:32:44,220 --> 00:32:46,220
So, yeah, this is a Brockheimer film.

747
00:32:46,220 --> 00:32:47,660
So it starts off with a big hurrah.

748
00:32:47,660 --> 00:32:50,300
The Army Rangers, you know, first in last out.

749
00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:51,180
You know, we kick ass.

750
00:32:51,180 --> 00:32:52,860
We don't leave any men behind.

751
00:32:52,860 --> 00:32:55,500
Nicholas Cage plays Cameron Poe.

752
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:58,140
John Cusack is Agent Vince Larkin.

753
00:32:58,140 --> 00:33:00,700
John Malkovich, Cyrus the virus.

754
00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:03,820
And then my personal favorite character actor in anything,

755
00:33:03,820 --> 00:33:05,260
Cole Mamini.

756
00:33:05,260 --> 00:33:06,460
I love Cole Mamini.

757
00:33:06,460 --> 00:33:09,100
Cole Mamini is amazing as Agent Duncan Malloy.

758
00:33:09,100 --> 00:33:10,460
He's a real piece of shit.

759
00:33:11,180 --> 00:33:12,140
Danny Trejo is in this.

760
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:15,180
Ving Rhames plays Nathan Diamond Dog.

761
00:33:15,180 --> 00:33:18,060
Dave Chappelle's pinball for a brief period.

762
00:33:18,060 --> 00:33:23,980
So, yeah, this movie, Nicholas Cage gets home from the from the Rangers to see his wife.

763
00:33:23,980 --> 00:33:28,780
They have a brief moment in the bar she works at where one of the regular

764
00:33:28,780 --> 00:33:32,780
rednecks chuckle heads who sexually harasses his wife on a regular basis

765
00:33:32,780 --> 00:33:37,660
tries to sexually harass his wife while they're dancing, like throws like throws a five dollar

766
00:33:37,660 --> 00:33:40,220
bill and Nick Cage is facing like, go get drinks from me and my buddies.

767
00:33:40,780 --> 00:33:41,820
Yeah. Yeah.

768
00:33:41,820 --> 00:33:47,260
This guy was very aggressive towards somebody who was in Army Ranger uniform.

769
00:33:47,260 --> 00:33:48,620
It says it right on his arm.

770
00:33:48,620 --> 00:33:49,020
It's piss.

771
00:33:49,020 --> 00:33:49,580
He's a Ranger.

772
00:33:49,580 --> 00:33:52,780
It's piss and soldiers like him that lost us the Vietnam War.

773
00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:56,300
Yeah, this guy knows a lot about like military action.

774
00:33:56,860 --> 00:34:00,540
But yeah, there's like an active like oil pump that's just shooting fire into the sky

775
00:34:00,540 --> 00:34:04,460
next to the bar, like in the parking lot, because that's where Redneck and his buddies

776
00:34:04,940 --> 00:34:06,700
decide to in the rain.

777
00:34:06,700 --> 00:34:07,660
Also heavy rain.

778
00:34:07,660 --> 00:34:15,260
Heavy rain tries to tries to murder Cameron Poe because he didn't fight with them earlier.

779
00:34:15,260 --> 00:34:17,660
And she's like, get in the car and he fights them off.

780
00:34:17,660 --> 00:34:19,100
And then one guy pulls a knife.

781
00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:22,620
And as the guy with the knife comes at him, he like smacks his nose bone into his brain

782
00:34:22,620 --> 00:34:25,420
and kills him and his friends grab the knife and run away.

783
00:34:25,420 --> 00:34:26,460
He takes a plea deal.

784
00:34:26,460 --> 00:34:29,820
But because of his military service, you know, he is a dangerous weapon.

785
00:34:29,820 --> 00:34:31,820
The laws don't apply to him the same.

786
00:34:31,820 --> 00:34:34,620
So he gets seven to ten minimum.

787
00:34:34,620 --> 00:34:37,660
So yeah, Cameron Poe in jail seven, eight, no, eight years.

788
00:34:38,220 --> 00:34:40,460
And he's corresponding with his daughter the entire time.

789
00:34:40,460 --> 00:34:41,580
He's finally going to get out.

790
00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:46,780
But he has to be flown on the jailbird to where he's going to be released.

791
00:34:46,780 --> 00:34:48,540
But with a bunch of other convicts.

792
00:34:48,540 --> 00:34:50,940
Yeah, he has to be flown back to Alabama.

793
00:34:50,940 --> 00:34:53,500
The jail that he was taken in through.

794
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:57,180
It almost doesn't matter the logic of it either, because like they just kind of

795
00:34:57,180 --> 00:35:01,180
set up everything really quickly and are like, OK, this is the exposition.

796
00:35:01,180 --> 00:35:02,540
Here's what this movie is going to do.

797
00:35:03,420 --> 00:35:04,540
Go. Yeah.

798
00:35:04,540 --> 00:35:10,220
Yeah. So then he's on a plane with, you know, criminals, murderers, rapists and.

799
00:35:10,220 --> 00:35:11,180
The cream of the crop.

800
00:35:11,180 --> 00:35:15,340
They break out led by Cyrus the virus and take over the plane.

801
00:35:15,340 --> 00:35:17,660
And that's the rest of the movie.

802
00:35:17,660 --> 00:35:20,780
So Nick Cage is like cellmate and buddy. Baby.

803
00:35:20,780 --> 00:35:22,620
Oh, it's diabetic.

804
00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:27,180
I like how you said that hyphenated instead of like with a space.

805
00:35:27,180 --> 00:35:28,140
Well, you said baby.

806
00:35:28,140 --> 00:35:29,820
Oh, it's hyphenated.

807
00:35:29,820 --> 00:35:30,380
It is. Yeah.

808
00:35:30,380 --> 00:35:31,500
Because they call him baby.

809
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:32,300
Oh, baby.

810
00:35:32,300 --> 00:35:32,940
Oh, baby.

811
00:35:32,940 --> 00:35:33,340
Oh, baby.

812
00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:34,140
Oh, baby.

813
00:35:34,140 --> 00:35:37,260
Oh, so baby.

814
00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:38,140
Oh, needs his insulin.

815
00:35:38,140 --> 00:35:39,340
But there's no.

816
00:35:39,340 --> 00:35:40,540
He needs his insulin.

817
00:35:41,500 --> 00:35:42,460
But there's no syringe.

818
00:35:42,460 --> 00:35:44,380
I've been needs his medicine.

819
00:35:44,380 --> 00:35:47,580
There's no syringes left on the plane because they get smashed in the break.

820
00:35:47,580 --> 00:35:47,980
Out.

821
00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:50,460
I'm sure one of those convicts has something to stick him with.

822
00:35:51,660 --> 00:35:52,540
Penis joke.

823
00:35:53,260 --> 00:35:58,700
And then the one lady guard is being harangued by Danny Trejo.

824
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:00,220
Johnny 23.

825
00:36:00,220 --> 00:36:02,460
Johnny 23 because he's raped 23 women.

826
00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:05,820
Yeah. Also, how hard is it to not write rape into movies?

827
00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:09,980
Yeah, I imagine they made him a rapist because.

828
00:36:09,980 --> 00:36:11,340
Because he looks like Danny Trejo.

829
00:36:11,340 --> 00:36:13,660
Well, that's racist.

830
00:36:13,660 --> 00:36:16,860
And I'm sure it's because.

831
00:36:16,860 --> 00:36:18,460
I'm talking about the man's face.

832
00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:22,460
He's got a real rapist face.

833
00:36:22,460 --> 00:36:23,260
Just look at him.

834
00:36:23,260 --> 00:36:23,740
It's pretty.

835
00:36:25,340 --> 00:36:26,540
Look at what he was wearing.

836
00:36:26,540 --> 00:36:30,860
It's weird how young Danny Trejo is actually like a fairly pleasant looking human being.

837
00:36:30,860 --> 00:36:32,460
Oh, you got to go way back, though.

838
00:36:32,460 --> 00:36:34,540
Yeah, it's not 1997.

839
00:36:34,540 --> 00:36:35,340
Danny Trejo.

840
00:36:35,340 --> 00:36:38,140
Like you got to go like 1975.

841
00:36:38,140 --> 00:36:41,100
Danny Trejo in this movie, he was reminding me a lot from

842
00:36:42,540 --> 00:36:44,060
his role in From Dusk to Dawn.

843
00:36:44,060 --> 00:36:47,660
He just like had that kind of like creepy vampire look to him.

844
00:36:47,660 --> 00:36:48,780
Oh, yeah, for sure.

845
00:36:48,780 --> 00:36:52,060
Nick Cage has a way to get off because they need to get they're doing a transfer,

846
00:36:52,060 --> 00:36:55,900
which is where we're introduced to the criminal who actually has the plan and has the jet that

847
00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:57,020
they're going to connect to later.

848
00:36:57,020 --> 00:36:57,820
Cindy, no.

849
00:36:57,820 --> 00:37:03,260
But in the breakout on the plane, three convicts are killed and they are three that have to go off.

850
00:37:03,260 --> 00:37:04,540
So they need three white guys.

851
00:37:04,540 --> 00:37:08,140
So the diabetic black baby can't go.

852
00:37:08,140 --> 00:37:13,260
So Nick Cage is eventually says he'll go, but can't because they're going to gag him.

853
00:37:13,260 --> 00:37:14,860
So he won't be able to say anything.

854
00:37:14,860 --> 00:37:18,540
And he doesn't want to leave the lady cop to be raped because he's a good guy.

855
00:37:18,540 --> 00:37:19,420
Because he's a good guy.

856
00:37:19,420 --> 00:37:22,700
I don't think that was ever really a motivation for him.

857
00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:27,500
Like he says it, but like he was about to get off the plane until he found out that he was going to be

858
00:37:27,500 --> 00:37:28,380
like gagged.

859
00:37:28,380 --> 00:37:28,700
Yeah.

860
00:37:28,700 --> 00:37:31,580
Have duct tape over his plane to get off the plane was just as soon as he got off.

861
00:37:31,580 --> 00:37:33,020
He was just going to start screaming.

862
00:37:33,020 --> 00:37:34,460
Yeah, I think he doesn't want to leave baby.

863
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:37,500
Oh, behind because like once he was that he's going to get these.

864
00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:41,420
The female guard serves no purpose in this film other than a rape subplot.

865
00:37:41,420 --> 00:37:42,300
Like that one could go.

866
00:37:42,300 --> 00:37:46,380
That could completely go and it could just be like his buddy is going to die because he's not going

867
00:37:46,380 --> 00:37:47,740
to get his insulin.

868
00:37:47,740 --> 00:37:48,220
Yeah.

869
00:37:48,220 --> 00:37:53,100
Well, oh, I think what I was trying to get at earlier was like they made him a rapist because

870
00:37:53,100 --> 00:37:54,540
of diversity.

871
00:37:54,540 --> 00:37:55,980
Like you just needed.

872
00:37:55,980 --> 00:37:57,660
Who's racist now, motherfucker?

873
00:37:57,660 --> 00:38:01,100
I'm saying diversity in crimes on the plane.

874
00:38:01,100 --> 00:38:05,100
Yeah, but you could have him just like you could have that conversation with.

875
00:38:05,100 --> 00:38:08,060
No, but that conversation with Cyrus, the virus or Cyrus is like, fuck you.

876
00:38:08,060 --> 00:38:10,460
Like, I don't I don't fuck around with rapists.

877
00:38:10,460 --> 00:38:11,420
And then that could be it.

878
00:38:11,420 --> 00:38:15,500
Danny Trejo could have been one of the guys who died when, you know, the first part of

879
00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:16,700
the incursion started.

880
00:38:16,700 --> 00:38:21,340
You know, it's like you didn't need him to be like a weird predator for the rest of the movie.

881
00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:26,220
I mean, they do have him come in at the at the end when when Poe comes in and actually

882
00:38:26,220 --> 00:38:28,620
saves her, saves Bishop, the guard.

883
00:38:29,260 --> 00:38:29,820
He does.

884
00:38:29,820 --> 00:38:33,900
They have that like unnecessary line where it's like, don't do that to women.

885
00:38:33,900 --> 00:38:37,420
And it's just like, Jesus Christ, this whole thing is cringe worthy.

886
00:38:37,420 --> 00:38:38,060
Yeah.

887
00:38:38,060 --> 00:38:39,740
Yeah, like I think we already knew that.

888
00:38:39,740 --> 00:38:41,900
The worst line in this movie is Danny Trejo.

889
00:38:41,900 --> 00:38:45,260
Like he's like, I'm going to use your whole body to make me feel good.

890
00:38:46,540 --> 00:38:48,540
As a pickup line, it's terrible.

891
00:38:48,540 --> 00:38:51,660
As a line in the movie, it served a good purpose.

892
00:38:51,660 --> 00:38:53,020
Every line reads like that.

893
00:38:53,020 --> 00:38:53,820
I love it.

894
00:38:53,820 --> 00:38:56,460
Like everybody is perfect in this film.

895
00:38:56,460 --> 00:38:56,780
Yeah.

896
00:38:56,780 --> 00:38:58,940
Except for Steve Buscemi.

897
00:38:58,940 --> 00:39:00,700
Oh, I love Steve Buscemi.

898
00:39:00,700 --> 00:39:01,660
What is his purpose?

899
00:39:01,660 --> 00:39:05,900
So when they do the prison transfer, they there's a late edition and Steve Buscemi,

900
00:39:05,900 --> 00:39:11,180
who is this crazy, supposedly psychopathic, he's a serial killer,

901
00:39:11,180 --> 00:39:13,340
who's worked his way all up and down the East Coast.

902
00:39:13,340 --> 00:39:17,260
The one crime we've heard him do is when he talks about when he wore

903
00:39:17,260 --> 00:39:20,860
a little girl's head as a hat across three states.

904
00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:22,540
I don't know if it was a little girl.

905
00:39:22,540 --> 00:39:23,500
It was a lady's.

906
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:28,140
Yeah, I think he said a woman's head as a hat, which I mean, he's getting into semantics.

907
00:39:28,140 --> 00:39:30,540
I think but no, he was talking to Poe and I think the point was like

908
00:39:30,540 --> 00:39:34,540
he was talking about like a child because Poe was like, it's my daughter's birthday.

909
00:39:34,540 --> 00:39:35,660
Don't talk to me.

910
00:39:35,660 --> 00:39:36,620
Yeah, maybe.

911
00:39:36,620 --> 00:39:41,100
And then we see him later, like being creepy with a little girl who doesn't die.

912
00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:47,180
Well, he talks about how most like murders aren't like crimes of passion.

913
00:39:47,180 --> 00:39:49,260
They're like killings of necessity.

914
00:39:49,260 --> 00:39:51,340
Like, oh, well, that person was too close.

915
00:39:51,340 --> 00:39:53,260
Narratively, there's no reason to have him in the film.

916
00:39:53,260 --> 00:39:54,380
And I totally agree with you.

917
00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:58,060
It was weird having him just dropped in there and then like, what is his plot line?

918
00:39:58,060 --> 00:40:02,540
He gets I mean, he is like a redemption arc kind of like he learned compassion

919
00:40:02,540 --> 00:40:06,060
from a little girl and then now he's gambling in Vegas at the end.

920
00:40:06,940 --> 00:40:07,740
Did he?

921
00:40:07,740 --> 00:40:09,420
I don't think he did.

922
00:40:09,420 --> 00:40:11,980
I think he's just a serial killer.

923
00:40:11,980 --> 00:40:15,260
And like he wasn't going to kill the girl because the little girl's not.

924
00:40:15,820 --> 00:40:19,820
Well, like just because you're a serial killer doesn't mean you're going to kill everybody.

925
00:40:19,820 --> 00:40:22,780
Are we supposed to be rooting for this guy at the end or what?

926
00:40:22,780 --> 00:40:25,980
I think that's the thing that was confusing for me is that it does feel like we're supposed

927
00:40:25,980 --> 00:40:27,980
to be rooting for Bushemi for some reason.

928
00:40:27,980 --> 00:40:30,300
And like, I don't know why.

929
00:40:30,300 --> 00:40:35,660
I don't know why you can't just let him exist in the movie and require something of him.

930
00:40:35,660 --> 00:40:36,620
Because this movie is long.

931
00:40:37,340 --> 00:40:37,500
Yeah.

932
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:38,620
And meandering.

933
00:40:38,620 --> 00:40:40,620
And you could have saved time.

934
00:40:40,620 --> 00:40:44,060
And again, it doesn't cut out all of his like lines.

935
00:40:44,060 --> 00:40:46,380
You would save two minutes tops.

936
00:40:47,180 --> 00:40:49,500
You're not saving anything by cutting him out.

937
00:40:49,500 --> 00:40:51,980
But what you're not adding anything by having him there.

938
00:40:51,980 --> 00:40:58,540
He offers like insights and stuff like I mean, it's not critical, but you get like just a

939
00:40:58,540 --> 00:41:00,860
it's again, diversity and criminals.

940
00:41:00,860 --> 00:41:04,700
You're seeing like he's a more intelligent criminal the way he talks about like that.

941
00:41:04,700 --> 00:41:10,620
So I already know Cyrus isn't Cyrus is a different kind of intelligent.

942
00:41:11,180 --> 00:41:14,220
The kind of criminal who's going to like he's a mastermind.

943
00:41:14,220 --> 00:41:15,740
Yeah, he's a mastermind.

944
00:41:15,740 --> 00:41:18,540
Steve Bushemi is just like a creature.

945
00:41:18,540 --> 00:41:20,460
Like he's supposed to be like a Hannibal Lecter style.

946
00:41:20,460 --> 00:41:21,980
Like they bring him in in the mask.

947
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:25,180
Yeah, they go through all the pomp and circumstance with that.

948
00:41:25,180 --> 00:41:26,060
But I don't know.

949
00:41:26,060 --> 00:41:28,700
But there's no like there's no bill to him doing anything.

950
00:41:28,700 --> 00:41:30,140
I it's because he doesn't do anything.

951
00:41:30,140 --> 00:41:35,340
It's it's that episode of The Simpsons where the mob and the Yakas are fighting on the

952
00:41:35,340 --> 00:41:39,500
front lawn and Marge like come inside Homer and Homer's like, but Marge, that little guy

953
00:41:40,620 --> 00:41:41,980
in the corner hasn't done anything yet.

954
00:41:41,980 --> 00:41:43,580
You know, when he does, it's going to be good.

955
00:41:44,380 --> 00:41:45,660
And then nothing happens.

956
00:41:45,660 --> 00:41:47,340
There's no payoff to his character being there.

957
00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:50,140
I enjoyed his character.

958
00:41:50,140 --> 00:41:51,500
I'm not sure that's clear.

959
00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:53,180
I'm not saying I didn't enjoy his character.

960
00:41:53,180 --> 00:41:55,580
I'm just like I'm befuddled by why he's there.

961
00:41:55,580 --> 00:41:57,660
I'm befuddled by why there's a lot of people in this movie.

962
00:41:57,660 --> 00:41:59,580
Yeah. What do you think about Dave Chappelle in this?

963
00:41:59,580 --> 00:42:01,100
Oh, I thought it was great, too.

964
00:42:01,100 --> 00:42:02,460
Pinball. Yeah.

965
00:42:02,460 --> 00:42:04,220
A lot of his lines were improvised.

966
00:42:04,220 --> 00:42:08,700
So all those like racist things he says are just Dave Chappelle racism.

967
00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:13,180
Oh, God. Yeah, that was tough to get through when he's sitting next to the Native American guy.

968
00:42:13,180 --> 00:42:15,180
He's just like, oh, God, 90s movies.

969
00:42:15,180 --> 00:42:15,660
Here we go.

970
00:42:16,620 --> 00:42:20,220
Oh, speaking of 90s movies, the obligatory queer character.

971
00:42:20,220 --> 00:42:21,020
This is interesting.

972
00:42:21,020 --> 00:42:23,660
I did a little research into this character.

973
00:42:23,660 --> 00:42:31,260
She I was like, OK, this is a typical like 90s bad stereotype of what it's like to be gay.

974
00:42:31,740 --> 00:42:35,660
But I noticed that actually everybody was always referring to her as a woman.

975
00:42:35,660 --> 00:42:40,060
And nobody ever used anything but she her pronouns.

976
00:42:40,060 --> 00:42:45,580
And they all called her like sis or like like sister or like they called her lady.

977
00:42:45,580 --> 00:42:48,140
You know, lady stop right there when she's coming off the plane.

978
00:42:48,140 --> 00:42:49,500
And so I was looking into it.

979
00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:52,780
And it turns out that her name is Sally.

980
00:42:52,780 --> 00:42:53,260
Let me hold on.

981
00:42:53,260 --> 00:42:55,180
I got to pull up the Sally can't dance.

982
00:42:55,180 --> 00:42:55,740
Exactly.

983
00:42:55,740 --> 00:42:56,700
So Sally can't dance.

984
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:59,020
And I was reading some different articles about this.

985
00:42:59,020 --> 00:43:02,940
And apparently Sally can't dance is one of like Lou Reed's albums.

986
00:43:02,940 --> 00:43:05,260
His fourth album was called Sally can't dance.

987
00:43:05,260 --> 00:43:10,540
And it's supposedly referring to Sally Maggio, who was a trans woman,

988
00:43:10,540 --> 00:43:14,940
who was a manager at this club that Reed and a bunch of other people went to.

989
00:43:14,940 --> 00:43:18,620
And I think they they had a romantic relationship or something.

990
00:43:18,620 --> 00:43:25,180
So this is clearly like a self conscious choice to have a like actual trans woman

991
00:43:25,180 --> 00:43:28,140
character in Con Air, which just kind of like blew my mind.

992
00:43:28,140 --> 00:43:30,540
And like, you know, I was reading some other commentary from people on my.

993
00:43:30,540 --> 00:43:33,820
It's like maybe, you know, obviously it's like 1997 or whatever.

994
00:43:33,820 --> 00:43:38,700
It's not the best representation of a trans person, but just the fact that the writer

995
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:41,820
decided to include her in the script is kind of wild.

996
00:43:41,820 --> 00:43:43,900
And I was just not expecting that at all.

997
00:43:43,900 --> 00:43:49,420
And writing aside, I mean, nobody was ever derogatory or demeaning towards the character.

998
00:43:49,420 --> 00:43:53,260
No. So they treated the character like a person.

999
00:43:53,260 --> 00:43:56,940
I mean, it just happened that they were very flamboyantly.

1000
00:43:56,940 --> 00:44:00,380
It's just an era of filmmaking where I just assume none of it's done in good faith.

1001
00:44:00,380 --> 00:44:02,540
Yeah, I know. That's exactly what I was thinking, too.

1002
00:44:02,540 --> 00:44:05,020
You hate the characters. You hate everything about this movie.

1003
00:44:05,020 --> 00:44:06,860
Oh, I loved this movie. I don't know.

1004
00:44:07,820 --> 00:44:10,460
I could be I can love something and still be critical of it.

1005
00:44:10,460 --> 00:44:12,780
Yeah, it was it was I thought she was an interesting character for sure.

1006
00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:16,700
And like you notice that it's definitely a 90s film because like she's she's a woman.

1007
00:44:16,700 --> 00:44:18,380
So she also gets the other side.

1008
00:44:18,380 --> 00:44:22,220
She gets like the misogyny side of thing because like Nick Cage won't.

1009
00:44:22,220 --> 00:44:23,500
Poe doesn't hit her.

1010
00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:25,740
He doesn't want to punch her because she's a woman.

1011
00:44:25,740 --> 00:44:27,020
So he open hand slaps her.

1012
00:44:27,020 --> 00:44:28,940
And it's like this whole fucking thing.

1013
00:44:28,940 --> 00:44:31,100
You know, yeah, it's just it was a trip.

1014
00:44:31,100 --> 00:44:33,820
I don't know how I forgot to mention this, but John Cusack's in this film.

1015
00:44:33,820 --> 00:44:34,940
That's where I was going.

1016
00:44:34,940 --> 00:44:39,980
John Cusack wearing his like talking heads, you know, massive jacket.

1017
00:44:39,980 --> 00:44:41,100
Holy fuck. Yeah.

1018
00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:45,660
Suits they they really were wearing some big suits in 1997.

1019
00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:47,020
And his jail sandals.

1020
00:44:47,020 --> 00:44:51,180
Those are like literally the sandals they gave me when I got sent to jail.

1021
00:44:51,180 --> 00:44:52,700
It's like, oh, oh, yeah.

1022
00:44:52,700 --> 00:44:53,740
His mandals. Yeah.

1023
00:44:53,740 --> 00:44:55,340
It's like the first thing I saw was like, why is he wearing?

1024
00:44:55,340 --> 00:44:56,460
Why is he wearing those?

1025
00:44:56,460 --> 00:44:57,500
Yeah, that was his choice.

1026
00:44:57,500 --> 00:45:00,220
He like as a character choice, he wanted to add that in.

1027
00:45:00,220 --> 00:45:03,980
When Cole Meany made the joke about him, like saving the rainforest

1028
00:45:03,980 --> 00:45:06,780
and recycling his sandals, that cracked me up.

1029
00:45:06,780 --> 00:45:10,860
And like we also like are sold as Cole Meany just being this complete asshole.

1030
00:45:10,860 --> 00:45:15,260
Like he shows up in his sports car, like cuts off John Cusack made convert

1031
00:45:15,260 --> 00:45:18,300
made introduction just to like park in a handicapped spot.

1032
00:45:18,300 --> 00:45:21,100
Yeah, with the license plate as kicker.

1033
00:45:21,100 --> 00:45:22,700
Yeah. Like, God damn it.

1034
00:45:22,700 --> 00:45:26,940
That whole sequence where they connect the the he connects the convertible

1035
00:45:26,940 --> 00:45:28,700
to the back of the plane was awesome.

1036
00:45:28,700 --> 00:45:30,620
I love that. That was a great little set piece.

1037
00:45:30,620 --> 00:45:32,860
But there's a lot of good pieces.

1038
00:45:32,860 --> 00:45:36,700
Yeah, no, this is a film of like, you know, like, you know, like,

1039
00:45:36,700 --> 00:45:43,980
like, I love great set pieces with very little narrative flow in between.

1040
00:45:43,980 --> 00:45:46,620
John Malkovich didn't have a great time in this film

1041
00:45:46,620 --> 00:45:50,220
because they were pretty much rewriting the entire script during filming.

1042
00:45:50,220 --> 00:45:54,380
Yeah. So he never really got a grasp on like what his character was going to look like,

1043
00:45:54,380 --> 00:45:59,340
which, I mean, I understand that'd be shitty having your role

1044
00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,660
rewritten throughout an entire movie.

1045
00:46:01,660 --> 00:46:06,300
Well, this also might explain why, again, Bushemi doesn't really have an arc

1046
00:46:06,300 --> 00:46:07,740
and his character isn't there for.

1047
00:46:07,740 --> 00:46:09,740
God, you're so hung up on Steve Bush.

1048
00:46:09,740 --> 00:46:11,420
Let's move on from Bushemi.

1049
00:46:11,420 --> 00:46:13,180
I'm on Steve Bushemi too.

1050
00:46:13,180 --> 00:46:15,660
How is this not like just.

1051
00:46:15,660 --> 00:46:20,700
I don't know why you're so concerned about the plot in an action movie.

1052
00:46:20,700 --> 00:46:23,420
I want to critique this. I want to critique art.

1053
00:46:23,420 --> 00:46:26,140
I went to art school. This is how I think about art.

1054
00:46:26,140 --> 00:46:29,020
Like, I want to know the reason behind the reasons behind things.

1055
00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:31,100
And if there's no reason behind it, it bugs me.

1056
00:46:31,100 --> 00:46:33,500
Philip, which character did you hate the most?

1057
00:46:33,500 --> 00:46:36,060
Oh, which character that hate the most?

1058
00:46:36,060 --> 00:46:40,540
Definitely the DEA agent kind of bugged me, but he was just so,

1059
00:46:40,540 --> 00:46:44,700
just so arch, you know, and just kind of like he's he just is an asshole.

1060
00:46:44,700 --> 00:46:46,940
He's just a, you know, a dickhead.

1061
00:46:46,940 --> 00:46:50,220
And I just didn't think that there was much depth beyond that.

1062
00:46:50,220 --> 00:46:54,060
And I could have done without Chappelle's character, probably.

1063
00:46:54,060 --> 00:46:57,900
I mean, it goes without saying fucking Danny Trejo's character is a nightmare.

1064
00:46:57,900 --> 00:47:00,940
So, yeah, I think between three of them.

1065
00:47:00,940 --> 00:47:02,940
One thing that was nice about Chappelle's character, though,

1066
00:47:02,940 --> 00:47:06,300
was the fact that they had to make a Dave Chappelle corpse puppet.

1067
00:47:06,300 --> 00:47:09,180
Yeah. Why couldn't he just lay in the landing gear?

1068
00:47:09,180 --> 00:47:13,100
Like, we're going to do one shot. Just lay here. Don't breathe.

1069
00:47:13,100 --> 00:47:15,260
OK, we got it. That was probably my favorite.

1070
00:47:15,260 --> 00:47:18,140
One of my favorite, like just little scenes in this film is he's caught

1071
00:47:18,140 --> 00:47:19,500
in the landing gear so they can't get it up.

1072
00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:20,380
So they have to get him out.

1073
00:47:20,380 --> 00:47:26,940
And Poe uses him as a way to get in touch with Larkin.

1074
00:47:26,940 --> 00:47:31,100
So he just writes a note on his shirt of like, you know, Marshal Larkin.

1075
00:47:31,100 --> 00:47:33,820
You know, we're going to this airstrip and then just takes him out of the plane.

1076
00:47:33,820 --> 00:47:36,780
Yeah. And smashes into like old white couple's car.

1077
00:47:36,780 --> 00:47:39,340
That causes a huge backup. That was good.

1078
00:47:39,860 --> 00:47:45,780
OK, so we have covered the trip to Carson City, the loading of unnamed passengers,

1079
00:47:46,100 --> 00:47:50,220
the well, and then the one important one who is Cyrus's connection out.

1080
00:47:50,260 --> 00:47:52,340
Yeah. Right. The one that has narrative purpose.

1081
00:47:53,140 --> 00:47:54,820
Yeah. Swamp thing.

1082
00:47:54,820 --> 00:47:56,820
Oh, and the pilot and the pilot swamp thing.

1083
00:47:56,820 --> 00:47:59,020
I do love swamp thing. Yeah. MC Ganey.

1084
00:47:59,020 --> 00:48:02,500
What was the other movie we saw him in with Cage? Stolen.

1085
00:48:03,020 --> 00:48:04,540
Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

1086
00:48:04,540 --> 00:48:06,820
The better version version of Rage. Yeah. Yeah.

1087
00:48:07,140 --> 00:48:08,180
You know where I recognize him from?

1088
00:48:08,180 --> 00:48:10,300
Did you guys ever watch Lost back in the day?

1089
00:48:10,300 --> 00:48:12,820
Oh, damn, I thought you were going to bring up sideways and talk about his dick.

1090
00:48:13,300 --> 00:48:15,100
Oh, no, I never saw sideways.

1091
00:48:15,100 --> 00:48:18,380
No, he was one of the like leaders of the the other group of people

1092
00:48:18,380 --> 00:48:19,620
that had been on the island.

1093
00:48:19,620 --> 00:48:21,300
And that's the only thing I know from.

1094
00:48:21,300 --> 00:48:22,700
But no, now I know I can see his dick.

1095
00:48:22,700 --> 00:48:24,180
I definitely going to watch sideways.

1096
00:48:24,180 --> 00:48:27,700
When you see it, do you see it like front on or do you see it?

1097
00:48:27,700 --> 00:48:30,100
He was he was.

1098
00:48:30,100 --> 00:48:32,300
Is it is it wafting in the wind?

1099
00:48:34,220 --> 00:48:36,860
Does it have sweet chops just like he does in this movie?

1100
00:48:36,860 --> 00:48:39,020
Yes. Nice.

1101
00:48:40,060 --> 00:48:44,220
We've loaded on in Carson City, and then we're now headed to the

1102
00:48:44,780 --> 00:48:47,980
Lerner Airfield base where they're going to swap planes.

1103
00:48:47,980 --> 00:48:51,660
The way they get the day off their back is by putting the transponder

1104
00:48:51,660 --> 00:48:55,260
from the plane in like, you know, a tours plane.

1105
00:48:55,260 --> 00:48:59,580
Yeah, so there's this prolonged chase of just like sightseeing pilot.

1106
00:48:59,780 --> 00:49:03,100
Yeah, it brings Kulmini's character out

1107
00:49:03,420 --> 00:49:05,980
and chases him off in the opposite direction.

1108
00:49:05,980 --> 00:49:09,020
And then there's like, you know, fun and gags as they're like

1109
00:49:09,020 --> 00:49:11,220
in the Grand Canyon or some shit.

1110
00:49:11,580 --> 00:49:14,900
And it's like, oh, no, these attack helicopters are going to take down

1111
00:49:15,460 --> 00:49:18,980
Bob's scenic tours.

1112
00:49:19,100 --> 00:49:20,620
Like he reads it so slow.

1113
00:49:20,620 --> 00:49:22,300
It's like you're next to the airplane.

1114
00:49:22,300 --> 00:49:23,060
You can read it.

1115
00:49:23,060 --> 00:49:26,340
I mean, I'm a pretty quick reader, but I don't need to like

1116
00:49:26,860 --> 00:49:28,380
spelling out the words.

1117
00:49:28,380 --> 00:49:30,140
One thing that I thought was interesting about this movie.

1118
00:49:30,140 --> 00:49:33,220
So it's a Bruckheimer production and he, you know, usually,

1119
00:49:33,620 --> 00:49:37,580
particularly with Michael Bay, it's very much a masturbatory exercise

1120
00:49:37,580 --> 00:49:39,620
about military industrial complex.

1121
00:49:39,940 --> 00:49:42,100
And this is one of the few times where they like

1122
00:49:42,100 --> 00:49:44,260
they kind of make them seem dumb.

1123
00:49:44,540 --> 00:49:47,140
So this movie ends in Las Vegas.

1124
00:49:47,140 --> 00:49:49,340
I do appreciate like there's a chase at the end.

1125
00:49:49,340 --> 00:49:53,740
And as the fire truck goes by, there's two like motorcycle cops.

1126
00:49:54,020 --> 00:49:56,820
And as they like get into action and like drive off,

1127
00:49:56,820 --> 00:49:58,620
a donut just falls into frame.

1128
00:49:58,620 --> 00:50:00,540
Yeah. Yes.

1129
00:50:00,540 --> 00:50:01,660
That was good.

1130
00:50:01,660 --> 00:50:02,700
Cops love donuts.

1131
00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:05,340
The ultimate plan is virus.

1132
00:50:05,540 --> 00:50:09,100
Cyrus, the virus is going to get on a jet to Mexico or something with.

1133
00:50:09,180 --> 00:50:11,860
Cindy, no, no credit family. Yeah.

1134
00:50:13,100 --> 00:50:14,340
But that's a bust.

1135
00:50:14,340 --> 00:50:18,300
So they take the plane and it they wind up having to like crash land

1136
00:50:18,300 --> 00:50:24,140
in Vegas, like on the strip, destroying a casino that was being demolished anyway.

1137
00:50:24,140 --> 00:50:26,540
Yeah. The sands was scheduled to be demolished.

1138
00:50:26,540 --> 00:50:28,700
So they were like, yeah.

1139
00:50:29,020 --> 00:50:31,420
They also like when they were filming things,

1140
00:50:31,860 --> 00:50:36,300
the scenes with like low flying airplanes over the strip

1141
00:50:36,460 --> 00:50:40,540
was just freaking people out in Vegas because nobody knew what was going on.

1142
00:50:40,540 --> 00:50:41,540
People were calling the cops.

1143
00:50:41,540 --> 00:50:43,940
You would have thought that they would like flyer the city a little bit.

1144
00:50:43,940 --> 00:50:47,420
Yeah. Like, hey, there's going to be some weird low flying planes.

1145
00:50:47,420 --> 00:50:51,220
Nick Cage had a really weird two years in Vegas.

1146
00:50:51,580 --> 00:50:56,540
Yeah. All the movies he's done in Vegas and New Orleans really kind of tips

1147
00:50:56,540 --> 00:50:59,980
his hand in what his favorite cities in this country are.

1148
00:51:00,580 --> 00:51:02,940
Yeah. Or possibly just where he lives.

1149
00:51:03,020 --> 00:51:04,420
Those two cities. Yeah.

1150
00:51:04,420 --> 00:51:05,780
But Cyrus.

1151
00:51:05,780 --> 00:51:09,100
So after the plane crashes, Cyrus, Swamp Thing and Diamond Dog

1152
00:51:09,420 --> 00:51:13,020
all like get away on a fire truck.

1153
00:51:13,020 --> 00:51:17,180
And instead of just being done with all of this because friends dead.

1154
00:51:17,340 --> 00:51:19,860
Yeah. Because he got him the insulin.

1155
00:51:20,140 --> 00:51:21,100
But then he gets killed anyway.

1156
00:51:21,100 --> 00:51:24,300
Well, no, baby. Oh, got shot. Baby. Oh, got shot. Yeah.

1157
00:51:24,340 --> 00:51:26,260
But he makes it off the plane.

1158
00:51:26,260 --> 00:51:28,540
But he's like, he's done and they're running off.

1159
00:51:28,540 --> 00:51:31,500
Yeah. Cyrus said he was going to like come for his, you know, wife and kids.

1160
00:51:31,500 --> 00:51:33,540
But Cyrus needs to get out of the country. It's probably fine.

1161
00:51:33,940 --> 00:51:37,140
So Nick Cage hops on a cop bike

1162
00:51:37,620 --> 00:51:42,300
with QSAC and then the chase ensues, at which point, once they catch up,

1163
00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:45,940
Nick Cage kills Malkovich like five times.

1164
00:51:46,140 --> 00:51:47,740
Yeah, it was so good.

1165
00:51:47,740 --> 00:51:52,420
Like he gets on the Jerry style, like cartoon, like death montage.

1166
00:51:52,420 --> 00:51:53,380
Oh, yeah. The piece of wood.

1167
00:51:53,380 --> 00:51:57,140
Yeah. He like spears his leg through the ladder on the ladder truck.

1168
00:51:57,500 --> 00:52:00,140
And then like they fight and get that core strength.

1169
00:52:00,340 --> 00:52:04,460
And then like he raises like handcuffs Cyrus to the ladder

1170
00:52:04,580 --> 00:52:07,380
and then raises it up and like slams him into a thing.

1171
00:52:07,540 --> 00:52:10,980
And that throws him into like some kind of smelting.

1172
00:52:10,980 --> 00:52:12,940
No, like on his way down.

1173
00:52:12,940 --> 00:52:15,580
He so he seems to know he hits power lines.

1174
00:52:15,580 --> 00:52:19,620
Yeah, he hits power lines and then drops into like some kind of forge.

1175
00:52:19,740 --> 00:52:21,620
Yeah, it's like slamming.

1176
00:52:21,620 --> 00:52:23,900
Why the why the fuck is that there?

1177
00:52:23,900 --> 00:52:26,260
Yeah, right. Why is the slamming factory right there?

1178
00:52:26,940 --> 00:52:29,140
City planners in this universe are terrible. Yeah.

1179
00:52:29,140 --> 00:52:33,180
Yeah. Despite what Nick thinks, I did thoroughly love this movie

1180
00:52:33,500 --> 00:52:35,340
that has yet to be seen.

1181
00:52:35,340 --> 00:52:38,180
This movie was fucking awesome from the word go.

1182
00:52:38,180 --> 00:52:40,220
All right. We got it.

1183
00:52:40,220 --> 00:52:43,860
We got to talk about we got to talk about cage just in general, like

1184
00:52:44,460 --> 00:52:46,540
hair, the body.

1185
00:52:46,540 --> 00:52:49,700
No, this is where we get the great like him just like wafting

1186
00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:51,540
is like Maine in the wind.

1187
00:52:51,540 --> 00:52:54,460
And it's so good because you get to see the mullet grow.

1188
00:52:54,620 --> 00:52:56,660
Yeah, it's like he's arrested.

1189
00:52:56,660 --> 00:52:59,380
He's got like cool, like tight army hair.

1190
00:52:59,740 --> 00:53:04,020
Then like when he's getting ready for court, it's a little bit longer.

1191
00:53:04,020 --> 00:53:07,780
And he's just like slowly growing a mullet through the movie until like

1192
00:53:07,780 --> 00:53:10,620
when he's put in prison, it's like almost a shoulder. Yeah.

1193
00:53:10,940 --> 00:53:13,060
And now it just fucking.

1194
00:53:13,060 --> 00:53:14,900
Also, can we talk about his accent?

1195
00:53:14,900 --> 00:53:16,260
It's really bad. Love it.

1196
00:53:16,260 --> 00:53:18,700
So he's got some some absolute zingers.

1197
00:53:18,700 --> 00:53:20,500
I think one of the best ones is when he's

1198
00:53:21,820 --> 00:53:24,460
so Diamond Dog tells him to go down and check the landing gear,

1199
00:53:24,460 --> 00:53:27,300
where, of course, he finds Dave Chappelle's characters,

1200
00:53:27,300 --> 00:53:29,340
you know, dead and kind of stuck on there.

1201
00:53:29,340 --> 00:53:32,060
And he's like, so he's been told to go and he goes,

1202
00:53:32,380 --> 00:53:35,380
oh, then I'll get to see some nice scenery whipping by down there.

1203
00:53:35,380 --> 00:53:37,860
There's a beat in the trees and stuff.

1204
00:53:38,980 --> 00:53:40,900
I can look at that line. It's a good one.

1205
00:53:40,900 --> 00:53:46,380
Yeah. I mean, his sarcasm is so good and dry in this movie.

1206
00:53:46,380 --> 00:53:48,940
I love the way he just like talks back.

1207
00:53:49,020 --> 00:53:51,220
But the accent is bad. Yeah.

1208
00:53:51,580 --> 00:53:53,140
Oh, it's so fucking bad. Yeah.

1209
00:53:53,140 --> 00:53:55,780
Yeah. There's like a back and forth where he's writing like his

1210
00:53:55,780 --> 00:53:57,500
like his daughter's writing in prison.

1211
00:53:57,500 --> 00:54:00,300
Her letter from preschool is like very well written.

1212
00:54:01,300 --> 00:54:03,140
Yeah, that doesn't make any fucking sense.

1213
00:54:03,140 --> 00:54:05,500
My teacher is nice and I love my teacher.

1214
00:54:05,500 --> 00:54:07,860
It's like, girl, you are not writing this.

1215
00:54:07,860 --> 00:54:10,500
Yeah, no. Your mom wrote this in like her left hand.

1216
00:54:10,500 --> 00:54:12,940
Yeah. Not Alabama public schools.

1217
00:54:13,580 --> 00:54:15,860
Like, yeah, the daughter says, like, you know, I like my teacher.

1218
00:54:15,980 --> 00:54:19,620
We get to go outside for playtime, but we we hold hands when we walk out.

1219
00:54:19,820 --> 00:54:22,060
And Nick Hader responds with their Casey.

1220
00:54:22,740 --> 00:54:25,740
It was so good to read your letter.

1221
00:54:25,740 --> 00:54:28,340
I'm glad you like your teacher.

1222
00:54:28,340 --> 00:54:31,060
We don't exactly have a playtime like you do.

1223
00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:35,900
We do go outside, though, but normally we don't hold hands,

1224
00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:40,220
which implies that sometimes they hold hands.

1225
00:54:41,580 --> 00:54:43,180
Listen, man, you build friendships.

1226
00:54:43,180 --> 00:54:44,780
You know how it goes.

1227
00:54:44,780 --> 00:54:46,420
We're holding hands right now. Yeah.

1228
00:54:46,420 --> 00:54:48,300
That's how we always podcast.

1229
00:54:48,300 --> 00:54:51,500
I thought that was just how jail gangs like exchanged members.

1230
00:54:51,500 --> 00:54:53,020
Like they do a big red rover.

1231
00:54:53,020 --> 00:54:54,780
It's like Red Rover, Red Rover.

1232
00:54:54,780 --> 00:54:57,540
So Sean on over.

1233
00:54:57,540 --> 00:54:59,460
I don't want to join the Latin Kings.

1234
00:54:59,460 --> 00:55:01,500
Oh, yeah. I got the power bill over.

1235
00:55:01,500 --> 00:55:04,660
Yeah. Do you do send white power bill?

1236
00:55:06,420 --> 00:55:07,220
As he's running over.

1237
00:55:07,220 --> 00:55:08,660
I mean, again, it's the Latin Kings.

1238
00:55:08,660 --> 00:55:09,260
They don't really want to.

1239
00:55:09,260 --> 00:55:11,820
But as he's running over, like to break it, someone just pulls out a shiv.

1240
00:55:11,860 --> 00:55:13,460
Yeah. That's how you handle beef.

1241
00:55:13,460 --> 00:55:16,300
Yeah. Nice game of Red Rover in the yard.

1242
00:55:16,940 --> 00:55:18,700
Just play tag. Yeah.

1243
00:55:18,700 --> 00:55:21,060
I feel run through a couple. Yeah.

1244
00:55:21,060 --> 00:55:22,340
So I had this other one

1245
00:55:22,340 --> 00:55:25,940
that I love where he's talking to Diamond Dog again and Diamond Dog comes over

1246
00:55:25,940 --> 00:55:28,340
and he's like, Yeehaw, what's on your mind, Hillbilly?

1247
00:55:28,340 --> 00:55:31,140
And pose like, Oh, what was I thinking?

1248
00:55:31,460 --> 00:55:33,460
Oh, yeah. Yeehaw. That's right.

1249
00:55:35,380 --> 00:55:37,940
Such an amazing character.

1250
00:55:37,940 --> 00:55:38,620
It is. Yeah.

1251
00:55:38,620 --> 00:55:40,780
He just wrote him beautifully.

1252
00:55:40,780 --> 00:55:41,980
I love it.

1253
00:55:41,980 --> 00:55:42,820
What about you, Nick?

1254
00:55:42,820 --> 00:55:47,220
My favorite quote is like after Garland has gotten on the plane

1255
00:55:47,220 --> 00:55:50,380
controversially and.

1256
00:55:51,900 --> 00:55:53,660
I know you're just staring at me.

1257
00:55:53,660 --> 00:55:55,900
John's going to kick you in the dick.

1258
00:55:55,900 --> 00:55:59,420
So after Cyrus has gotten on the plane and

1259
00:56:00,820 --> 00:56:04,220
Billy is like going off being a dickhead about something.

1260
00:56:04,420 --> 00:56:09,220
Baby Oh and Cage are sitting there and Garland like just like without being

1261
00:56:09,380 --> 00:56:12,580
asked to just psychoanalyzes Billy for them.

1262
00:56:12,940 --> 00:56:16,100
And Cage and Baby Oh just kind of turned back.

1263
00:56:16,100 --> 00:56:18,700
And Baby Oh is like, what is wrong with him?

1264
00:56:18,700 --> 00:56:26,100
And Cage just says, well, my first guess would be a lot.

1265
00:56:26,100 --> 00:56:28,580
This might be one of my favorite Nicholas Cage characters.

1266
00:56:28,580 --> 00:56:31,140
Yeah, the character is just top notch.

1267
00:56:31,260 --> 00:56:34,260
I mean, and like the roundhouse kick, as Philip mentioned earlier,

1268
00:56:34,260 --> 00:56:36,700
like all that kind of shit like he it's so fun.

1269
00:56:36,700 --> 00:56:41,180
He like dives through a window to get away from a gas station blowing up.

1270
00:56:41,180 --> 00:56:43,300
Yeah, this is like peak.

1271
00:56:43,300 --> 00:56:45,540
I mean, I think this is the start of Action Cage.

1272
00:56:45,540 --> 00:56:47,700
Like this is the buffest he's ever been.

1273
00:56:47,700 --> 00:56:50,300
Well, yeah, he was working out between scenes.

1274
00:56:50,300 --> 00:56:53,100
He would like pump iron just to keep that physique.

1275
00:56:53,580 --> 00:56:57,100
And it was the same month that Face Off came out.

1276
00:56:57,100 --> 00:57:01,180
Like they were filmed back to back and then Face Off came out

1277
00:57:01,180 --> 00:57:03,420
three weeks after this movie.

1278
00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:06,300
So, Philip, do you have some some additional thoughts on this?

1279
00:57:06,380 --> 00:57:09,300
Oh, yeah. I want to talk to you guys about Diamond Dog.

1280
00:57:09,300 --> 00:57:12,860
I love the way that Diamond Dog is introduced into the movie.

1281
00:57:13,500 --> 00:57:15,580
You know how they're doing the sort of like rundown to

1282
00:57:15,580 --> 00:57:19,020
so this is Ving Rhames character, they're doing the rundown of the different cons

1283
00:57:19,020 --> 00:57:21,460
that are coming off of the boss and like, oh, who's so and so?

1284
00:57:21,460 --> 00:57:23,900
Oh, he murdered his his wife's family and blah, blah.

1285
00:57:24,100 --> 00:57:25,260
So they get to Diamond Dog.

1286
00:57:25,260 --> 00:57:29,100
And I don't know if they intentionally made this made him such a badass.

1287
00:57:29,140 --> 00:57:30,180
I liked his introduction.

1288
00:57:30,180 --> 00:57:33,460
I'm like, I get his I get the cut of his gym.

1289
00:57:33,500 --> 00:57:34,620
I was in the same boat.

1290
00:57:34,620 --> 00:57:36,540
I was like, oh, shit, this guy is based.

1291
00:57:36,540 --> 00:57:39,860
We like him. He's like, you know, because the whole thing is that I don't know.

1292
00:57:39,860 --> 00:57:41,860
I've seen my students.

1293
00:57:41,860 --> 00:57:44,140
It's the youth.

1294
00:57:44,140 --> 00:57:46,100
I love the gen Z slang.

1295
00:57:46,100 --> 00:57:47,900
No, but the thing is, he like they're like, yeah.

1296
00:57:47,900 --> 00:57:52,300
So he got locked up because he basically he blew up an NRA meeting,

1297
00:57:52,660 --> 00:57:55,500
you know, because they're like the basis, the basis representation of

1298
00:57:55,500 --> 00:57:56,780
of like the white race.

1299
00:57:56,780 --> 00:57:59,060
I was like, oh, hell, yeah, man. Good.

1300
00:57:59,620 --> 00:58:02,100
Yeah, I was rooting for Diamond Dog.

1301
00:58:02,140 --> 00:58:05,900
I mean, he's very much just a black power response to the movie.

1302
00:58:06,300 --> 00:58:10,340
But this is the third Nicholas Cage Ving Rhames movie that we've watched.

1303
00:58:10,340 --> 00:58:14,940
It was bringing out the dead this and Kiss of Death where he played Omar.

1304
00:58:14,980 --> 00:58:17,940
Yeah. But in an interview after bringing out the dead,

1305
00:58:17,980 --> 00:58:21,540
when asked about working with Nick Cage, he said he's a natural.

1306
00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:23,100
It's a good natural actor.

1307
00:58:23,100 --> 00:58:27,900
And he says, look, Ving, whenever whatever you do, I will respond to it.

1308
00:58:28,540 --> 00:58:31,580
It's like a good tennis match like Agassi versus Sampras.

1309
00:58:31,620 --> 00:58:33,020
We hit well together.

1310
00:58:33,020 --> 00:58:34,380
So that's nice. You know, that's cool.

1311
00:58:34,380 --> 00:58:37,500
And that they enjoyed or at least he enjoyed working with Nicholas Cage.

1312
00:58:37,500 --> 00:58:40,380
You have to find someone who has something negative to say about working

1313
00:58:40,380 --> 00:58:42,300
with Nicholas Cage. Yeah, that's a good point.

1314
00:58:42,300 --> 00:58:45,420
Yeah, it's it's always been pretty glowing reviews.

1315
00:58:45,540 --> 00:58:49,260
Except for that one person who said he was a little intense.

1316
00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:52,260
Peggy Sue got married. Oh, yeah. OK, that's Peggy Sue got married.

1317
00:58:52,260 --> 00:58:53,700
She hated him.

1318
00:58:53,700 --> 00:58:55,100
He was like, yeah, really.

1319
00:58:55,100 --> 00:58:57,700
That's early Kate. And he was still getting his sea legs.

1320
00:58:57,780 --> 00:59:01,100
He was figuring shows just the worst character to play.

1321
00:59:01,700 --> 00:59:04,300
Did he pick the worst voice that he could have?

1322
00:59:04,380 --> 00:59:06,820
Not the worst character play, but he played that character.

1323
00:59:06,820 --> 00:59:11,180
I was thinking Zonda Lee in the painting scene because she did not appreciate.

1324
00:59:11,260 --> 00:59:14,140
Yeah, there was some consent stuff on that one.

1325
00:59:14,940 --> 00:59:16,420
Much like Joss Whedon.

1326
00:59:16,420 --> 00:59:18,580
All men like working with Nick Cage.

1327
00:59:19,180 --> 00:59:20,660
Yeah, that's fair.

1328
00:59:20,660 --> 00:59:23,060
I don't know, Philip. Any final thoughts on Conair?

1329
00:59:23,140 --> 00:59:26,700
Yeah, I wasn't sure when the right time to share this is, but I did look up.

1330
00:59:26,820 --> 00:59:29,660
I found an article with it was an interview with the director.

1331
00:59:29,660 --> 00:59:31,660
So this is from Den of Geek.

1332
00:59:31,660 --> 00:59:34,700
I was reading an article over there and it was saying that like,

1333
00:59:34,700 --> 00:59:37,940
this was obviously a joke, somebody was asking Simon West about Conair 2.

1334
00:59:38,020 --> 00:59:40,540
And he was basically like, well, I think the logical conclusion

1335
00:59:40,540 --> 00:59:42,820
is that we would do Conair 2 in space.

1336
00:59:44,820 --> 00:59:48,740
He was like, it'd be a satire about commercial space travel.

1337
00:59:48,740 --> 00:59:52,700
There'd be like, you know, a private space travel companies have like hired

1338
00:59:52,700 --> 00:59:56,860
convicts to work on their flights and like, you know, they'd be taking pot

1339
00:59:56,860 --> 00:59:59,340
shots at like Musk and Bezos and everything.

1340
00:59:59,340 --> 01:00:02,860
And he said this crazy thing about he was like Garland.

1341
01:00:02,860 --> 01:00:06,660
So Bushemi's character not to bring it back to Bushemi, but he was like, yeah.

1342
01:00:06,660 --> 01:00:09,700
And you know, Garland, Garland would be running for president if not

1343
01:00:10,100 --> 01:00:13,140
already having been elected because he has, you know, all the hallmarks

1344
01:00:13,140 --> 01:00:16,820
of bouncing back and surviving, which is just another like weird twist

1345
01:00:16,820 --> 01:00:19,700
in the whole like, what the fuck was going on with Garland in this movie?

1346
01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:22,940
But yeah, I just wanted to hear your guys thoughts about Conair 2 in space.

1347
01:00:23,060 --> 01:00:25,380
I love it. I want it. Do it. Yeah.

1348
01:00:25,420 --> 01:00:30,140
Poe will be he'll be on like the commercial flight, like him, like with his daughter,

1349
01:00:30,180 --> 01:00:31,860
his grown daughter, his grown daughter.

1350
01:00:31,860 --> 01:00:34,140
And yeah, you know, he'll see Garland there.

1351
01:00:34,140 --> 01:00:37,580
And he's like, who's I can't remember who survives in this film from the bad guys.

1352
01:00:37,580 --> 01:00:38,820
Yeah. Mm hmm.

1353
01:00:38,820 --> 01:00:41,940
How does Diamond Dog go? Motorcycle to the face. That's right.

1354
01:00:41,980 --> 01:00:44,020
Oh, yeah. No, yeah. Motorcycle. He got motorcycle to the face.

1355
01:00:44,260 --> 01:00:45,900
Swamp Thing gets ejected.

1356
01:00:45,900 --> 01:00:49,300
He gets from the front of the fire engine when it crashes.

1357
01:00:49,300 --> 01:00:53,020
And then and Cyrus, the virus gets killed eight times.

1358
01:00:53,020 --> 01:00:57,180
The smashing, the smashing, the electrifying, the re smashing.

1359
01:00:57,180 --> 01:01:00,340
Right. Johnny died in the plane accident

1360
01:01:00,340 --> 01:01:02,620
and then lost his arm with all of his tattoos.

1361
01:01:02,620 --> 01:01:04,660
Oh, yeah. That was gnarly.

1362
01:01:04,660 --> 01:01:07,580
I did like when the cops walk up and they're like, yeah, this one's dead.

1363
01:01:07,580 --> 01:01:08,580
And they like take him away.

1364
01:01:08,580 --> 01:01:11,420
But then the arms still hang in there. That was that was really good.

1365
01:01:11,420 --> 01:01:12,260
That was a good shot.

1366
01:01:12,260 --> 01:01:15,460
And we should talk about the ending when he like finally meets his daughter.

1367
01:01:15,660 --> 01:01:17,180
She was actually eight.

1368
01:01:17,180 --> 01:01:19,740
I was going to surprise when people play their actual age.

1369
01:01:19,740 --> 01:01:21,420
Yeah, I was going to get a haircut.

1370
01:01:21,420 --> 01:01:22,660
What? She should have been 30.

1371
01:01:22,660 --> 01:01:23,780
Well, I don't know. Yeah.

1372
01:01:23,780 --> 01:01:28,460
I expect children to be terrible on film sets, even when they don't have lines.

1373
01:01:28,460 --> 01:01:30,780
I was going to get a haircut before I before I met you.

1374
01:01:30,780 --> 01:01:34,700
But something came up and it gives you this really gross rabbit

1375
01:01:34,700 --> 01:01:39,020
that he like got from the beginning and wipes it on his like bloody dirty shirt.

1376
01:01:39,020 --> 01:01:42,180
Oh, like, oh, he's a southern boy. Yeah.

1377
01:01:42,460 --> 01:01:44,060
Oh, yeah. Also at the end,

1378
01:01:44,060 --> 01:01:47,220
Cole Meany and Qsac are just buds.

1379
01:01:47,420 --> 01:01:49,500
But let bygones be bygones, man.

1380
01:01:49,500 --> 01:01:52,140
Like this movie knows when it needs to rap.

1381
01:01:52,140 --> 01:01:54,460
Yeah. It's like, all right, we're done. Bye.

1382
01:01:54,980 --> 01:01:58,380
All right. This movie knows when it needs to rap is a bit of a misleading thing.

1383
01:01:58,380 --> 01:02:02,020
I think it could have ended about three times in the last half hour.

1384
01:02:02,020 --> 01:02:04,060
And it just keeps going. It does.

1385
01:02:04,060 --> 01:02:04,860
It's a long movie.

1386
01:02:04,860 --> 01:02:07,460
It's two hours and 15 minutes or something like that.

1387
01:02:07,460 --> 01:02:09,220
Yeah. Flew by for me.

1388
01:02:09,220 --> 01:02:10,900
It goes quick. I watched it twice.

1389
01:02:10,900 --> 01:02:12,220
I didn't mind it at all.

1390
01:02:12,220 --> 01:02:14,140
I mean, it's the most recent action film I watched.

1391
01:02:14,140 --> 01:02:17,180
This is up there for me in terms of just the most fun. Oh, yeah.

1392
01:02:17,180 --> 01:02:18,460
It's a fun movie for sure.

1393
01:02:18,460 --> 01:02:22,740
If you put it against like the quote unquote Nick Cage, Holy Trinity,

1394
01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:24,900
this is definitely my favorite of the three.

1395
01:02:24,900 --> 01:02:28,100
Yeah. Which would be face off this and the rock. Yes.

1396
01:02:28,100 --> 01:02:31,540
Yeah. Also great use of the like name of the movie in the movie.

1397
01:02:31,980 --> 01:02:35,340
There were a lot of really good self referential moments like that,

1398
01:02:35,340 --> 01:02:37,620
like with the Cyrus doing the welcome con air.

1399
01:02:37,620 --> 01:02:41,060
Did you get the bit where they're all he's talking to Poe is talking to Baby Oh.

1400
01:02:41,060 --> 01:02:44,860
And he's like, I just can't believe that they, you know, put all of these,

1401
01:02:45,060 --> 01:02:47,900
all the craziest motherfuckers in the world on a single plane.

1402
01:02:47,900 --> 01:02:50,260
And then we somehow ended up in the middle of it and blah, blah, blah.

1403
01:02:50,660 --> 01:02:53,940
So I think the movie like they knew what they were doing.

1404
01:02:53,940 --> 01:02:54,820
I think it's oh, yeah.

1405
01:02:54,820 --> 01:02:58,420
I hope that it was supposed to be this campy even back when it came out.

1406
01:02:58,420 --> 01:02:59,100
I just can't remember.

1407
01:02:59,100 --> 01:03:03,620
Like we're all action movies that like campy and and kind of like satirical

1408
01:03:03,620 --> 01:03:05,380
or self referential. I don't know.

1409
01:03:05,380 --> 01:03:06,580
They were a little more self serious.

1410
01:03:06,580 --> 01:03:08,340
A lot of the movies were a little more self serious.

1411
01:03:08,340 --> 01:03:12,500
But this is, you know, I mean, it's it's kind of the lethal weapon era of thing.

1412
01:03:12,700 --> 01:03:16,260
If you look at like action movies that came out in this year,

1413
01:03:16,420 --> 01:03:18,540
the tone of the movie tracks well.

1414
01:03:18,540 --> 01:03:22,220
I mean, you've got like Speed 2 Starship Troopers,

1415
01:03:22,220 --> 01:03:24,700
hmm, Fifth Element. Oh, yeah. OK.

1416
01:03:24,780 --> 01:03:28,420
I'm hesitant to say Beverly Hills Ninja is an action movie,

1417
01:03:28,420 --> 01:03:32,220
but for some reason, Google says it is well in the tough guy category.

1418
01:03:32,260 --> 01:03:33,580
There is the Holy Trinity.

1419
01:03:33,580 --> 01:03:35,140
Two of these might go to the end.

1420
01:03:35,140 --> 01:03:38,380
And but all of this, all of the Holy Trinity, they're all two plus hours.

1421
01:03:38,620 --> 01:03:40,820
Yep. Like I just want a tight action film.

1422
01:03:40,940 --> 01:03:42,460
I don't know if you want a tight action film.

1423
01:03:42,460 --> 01:03:44,540
You should I could recommend Rage to you.

1424
01:03:44,540 --> 01:03:46,820
It's riveting.

1425
01:03:46,820 --> 01:03:48,660
Did that come out? Oh, we're losing connection.

1426
01:03:49,340 --> 01:03:51,500
Crippled Masters. Watch it.

1427
01:03:51,500 --> 01:03:52,420
I will. All right.

1428
01:03:52,420 --> 01:03:53,140
Venn diagram.

1429
01:03:53,140 --> 01:03:53,820
Philip, what do you think?

1430
01:03:53,820 --> 01:03:55,340
Good movie, bad movie.

1431
01:03:55,340 --> 01:03:58,300
Good cage, bad, bad, good, good performance, bad.

1432
01:03:58,980 --> 01:04:01,060
Damn good, good movie, good cage.

1433
01:04:01,060 --> 01:04:02,180
It is entertaining.

1434
01:04:02,180 --> 01:04:04,980
It is like eating candy or a bag of popcorn.

1435
01:04:04,980 --> 01:04:06,300
I thoroughly enjoyed it.

1436
01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:07,780
You don't have to think too hard about it.

1437
01:04:07,780 --> 01:04:12,100
And Nicolas Cage has some of his best one liners that I think I've seen in

1438
01:04:12,220 --> 01:04:14,060
and in his career. So, yeah.

1439
01:04:14,060 --> 01:04:16,940
Yeah, I'm going to also sell great film. Great cage.

1440
01:04:17,140 --> 01:04:18,620
Great movie. Great cage.

1441
01:04:18,620 --> 01:04:20,660
It's a full go for me.

1442
01:04:20,660 --> 01:04:22,380
I fucking love it.

1443
01:04:22,380 --> 01:04:24,020
We should probably decide what's going to go forward.

1444
01:04:24,020 --> 01:04:25,540
Oh, yeah.

1445
01:04:25,540 --> 01:04:26,580
Rock, paper, scissors.

1446
01:04:26,580 --> 01:04:27,220
Sure. Tight.

1447
01:04:27,220 --> 01:04:28,980
Well, one, two, three.

1448
01:04:28,980 --> 01:04:30,020
Conair. Conair.

1449
01:04:30,020 --> 01:04:31,460
OK, great.

1450
01:04:31,460 --> 01:04:33,660
Hooray. I can't wait to watch this movie again.

1451
01:04:33,660 --> 01:04:34,940
Yeah, it's fun.

1452
01:04:34,940 --> 01:04:36,020
That's going to be a good one.

1453
01:04:36,020 --> 01:04:38,300
All right. Here's my here's my closing thought on this film.

1454
01:04:38,380 --> 01:04:38,780
There's a lot.

1455
01:04:38,780 --> 01:04:41,300
He learns a lot of skills in jail

1456
01:04:41,940 --> 01:04:43,420
that you think like Chekhov's origami.

1457
01:04:43,420 --> 01:04:45,460
Chekhov's Spanish is going to come into play.

1458
01:04:45,460 --> 01:04:48,380
Now, the only thing we the only payoff we get is Chekhov's rapist.

1459
01:04:48,380 --> 01:04:50,860
Danny Sayho says he's going to rape in scene one

1460
01:04:50,860 --> 01:04:52,500
and he tries to do a rape in scene three.

1461
01:04:52,500 --> 01:04:53,660
It's true. I'm probably going to.

1462
01:04:53,660 --> 01:04:56,300
I don't know if that qualifies as Chekhov's rape, though,

1463
01:04:56,620 --> 01:04:58,660
because it's like it is just declared rape.

1464
01:04:58,660 --> 01:05:00,740
Yeah, that's just like failed intent.

1465
01:05:00,740 --> 01:05:02,740
Yeah, right.

1466
01:05:02,740 --> 01:05:04,300
Failure to launch.

1467
01:05:05,740 --> 01:05:06,740
All right. We got it.

1468
01:05:06,740 --> 01:05:07,580
We got it. Yeah.

1469
01:05:07,580 --> 01:05:09,540
An erectile dysfunction story.

1470
01:05:10,940 --> 01:05:12,140
All right.

1471
01:05:12,140 --> 01:05:13,780
Peter, Peter, why don't you wrap this up?

1472
01:05:13,780 --> 01:05:16,780
Yeah. So thank you, everybody, for listening.

1473
01:05:16,780 --> 01:05:18,420
Philip, thank you for being here.

1474
01:05:18,420 --> 01:05:19,420
Thanks for being my brother.

1475
01:05:19,420 --> 01:05:21,220
Yeah, thanks for having me. This was a blast, guys.

1476
01:05:21,220 --> 01:05:22,620
Please rate, review, subscribe.

1477
01:05:22,620 --> 01:05:26,260
We are on Instagram at Cage underscore match underscore pod.

1478
01:05:26,260 --> 01:05:29,860
We are on Reddit at Cage match pod and on Patreon.

1479
01:05:29,860 --> 01:05:32,300
If you want to support us, that's super helpful for us.

1480
01:05:32,300 --> 01:05:35,820
And we are at Cage match and special thanks to our Sparkle buddies,

1481
01:05:35,820 --> 01:05:40,340
Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt and Adam and to our cage dancers,

1482
01:05:40,540 --> 01:05:42,100
Ira, John and Freeman.

1483
01:05:42,100 --> 01:05:44,940
Thank you all for supporting us and listening to us.

1484
01:05:44,940 --> 01:05:50,660
Yell about Garland Green, Steve Buscemi's character.

1485
01:05:50,660 --> 01:05:53,460
I'm going to get a shirt made with his face on it.

1486
01:05:53,460 --> 01:05:54,460
Fine.

1487
01:05:55,460 --> 01:05:56,460
I don't hate the character.

1488
01:05:56,460 --> 01:05:58,460
I just didn't see the point in the movie.

1489
01:05:58,460 --> 01:05:59,860
Thanks for listening, everybody.

1490
01:05:59,860 --> 01:06:01,300
What's consistency of storytelling?

1491
01:06:01,300 --> 01:06:02,300
I want tight storytelling.

1492
01:06:02,300 --> 01:06:06,380
I'm just going to leave it with you yelling and Nick laughing in the background.

1493
01:06:06,380 --> 01:06:08,380
It's great. It's perfect.

1494
01:06:08,380 --> 01:06:15,380
It's perfect. Bye bye, everybody.

1495
01:06:21,580 --> 01:06:23,020
Well, actually, you're wrong.

1496
01:06:23,020 --> 01:06:24,420
You're right. Stupid.

1497
01:06:24,420 --> 01:06:26,220
And I don't like your face.

1498
01:06:26,220 --> 01:06:29,420
I'm going to I'm so glad you're over here because now I can just turn you down

1499
01:06:29,420 --> 01:06:30,820
whenever I want. I can mute you.

1500
01:06:30,820 --> 01:06:32,100
Oh, yeah, that's your one.

1501
01:06:32,100 --> 01:06:32,980
Yeah, fuck it.

1502
01:06:32,980 --> 01:06:36,100
You're one you dumb fuck.

1503
01:06:36,100 --> 01:06:38,780
Ha, now I learned I'm number one on this podcast.

1504
01:06:38,780 --> 01:06:41,700
There you go. Nerds.

1505
01:06:42,700 --> 01:06:44,780
Why do you do anything sober?

1506
01:06:44,780 --> 01:06:48,180
Yeah, what a lame.

1507
01:06:48,180 --> 01:06:52,780
In a world full of all these substances, why do you do anything sober?

1508
01:06:52,780 --> 01:06:54,100
This is the one thing I do.

1509
01:06:54,100 --> 01:06:56,580
Sober's watch these films so I can fucking talk about them.

1510
01:06:56,620 --> 01:06:58,860
The only thing I do sober is masturbate

1511
01:06:59,100 --> 01:07:03,060
because I want to feel the full gravity of the situation on my body.

1512
01:07:03,060 --> 01:07:04,980
That's a.

1513
01:07:04,980 --> 01:07:08,060
Well, that's definitely staying in.

1514
01:07:08,060 --> 01:07:35,060
That's our that's our outro thing. Right.

