1
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Oh god. Oh my god.

2
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Fuuuuck!

3
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We're never doing a rock version of this.

4
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No.

5
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What would we call that though?

6
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Rock bottom.

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Considering how we feel about his acting, yeah.

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You don't want to watch the Tooth Fairy?

9
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Not really. I'd rather watch The Pacifier with Vin Diesel.

10
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Yeah.

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Welcome back to Cage Match, colon a roundabout way of meeting Nicolas Cage.

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I am your host Sean, here with my other host...

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Nick! I'm Nick!

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...and our producer...

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Peter, hello.

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...and this week we have a special guest back for the second time...

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Beer! Oh, also...

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Adam. I brought the beer.

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Thank you, Adam.

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Good job. It's good to be back. Thank you for having me.

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You all know how much I love the National Treasure franchise.

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I mean, yeah.

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So I appreciate you indulging me on this.

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It's nice that you can actually talk about the first one now,

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versus just talking about the sequel without a lot of context.

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Yeah, so Peter, you watched these out of order.

27
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Yeah.

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The second one couldn't have made sense to you.

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I managed to make the leap.

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You know, I did some of that talk-out-loud brain thinking,

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and I put it together.

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Ah, nice.

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It's such a tight-knit story though.

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So this week we are talking about 2019's Primal,

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and 2004's National Treasure.

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That was 2004?

37
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Yeah.

38
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Those were different times.

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Simpler times.

40
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I was forgetting what year I graduated high school versus college.

41
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Yeah, you're not as old as you think you are.

42
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I feel like I'm twice as old as I think I am.

43
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Yeah, 100%.

44
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The difference between 19-year-old Sean and 38-year-old Sean

45
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is I'm worse at math.

46
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Yeah, they don't have like annual refreshers for them

47
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once you get into the real world.

48
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Yeah, so this is Cage Match,

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a roundabout way of meeting Nicolas Cage,

50
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where we bracket-style, take 64 Nick Cage movies,

51
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and put them head-to-head in four different categories.

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Tough, funny, serious, and fucking weird.

53
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Wacky.

54
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And we are in...

55
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Tough guy.

56
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This must be tough guy.

57
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Yeah, this is action cage.

58
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Action movies.

59
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I don't think I realized that you made like four...

60
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Oh yeah, the regions.

61
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Yeah, I think I missed that.

62
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That's awesome.

63
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It actually works out really nicely.

64
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So in the end, you know, we'll funnel it down into four top from each of those.

65
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So that'll be kind of cool.

66
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These movies, it's a number six seed with National Treasure

67
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and a 11 with Primal.

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Oh, perfect.

69
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And I'm going to pretend like I understand what any of that means.

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National Treasure, 2004, Nicolas Cage plays...

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Benjamin Franklin Gates.

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Benjamin Franklin Gates.

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Diane Kruger is Abigail Chase.

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Justin Bartha is Riley Poole and Sean Bean plays Ian Howe.

75
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I always forget that John Voight's in these films.

76
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It's still weird that he's in a movie about American conspiracies.

77
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But going back to a previous episode, Sean, I'm sorry that Helen Mirren's tits weren't in this movie.

78
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I mean, Helen Mirren's not even in this one.

79
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It's a real loss that Helen Mirren isn't in this one.

80
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You could always just Google her while you watch it.

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Probably did.

82
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So, Adam, as our National Treasure expert, what's this movie about?

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So my first time seeing this was with my parents and my brother and my younger sister.

84
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And it was fun.

85
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Like it is a fun movie.

86
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It's probably more fun 20 years ago than it is now.

87
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Our relationship with America is a bit different now.

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There's that.

89
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Also, I had very little expectation of this movie.

90
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Seeing it for the first time, I was 20 years old.

91
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And it wasn't like, oh, that changed me.

92
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Like, I'm going to go home and like listen to Kid A and do mushrooms.

93
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But what else?

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Do you guys want to listen to Kid A and do mushrooms?

95
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It was just like, it was so much better than you could have expected.

96
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2004, Nick Cage might have only been really a big deal for maybe 10 years at that point.

97
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Yeah, it was definitely a different era.

98
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But he had come off of I think adaptation was one that came pretty shortly right before this.

99
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Mastiff Man, adaptation, Lord of Wars right after this, and Weatherman.

100
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I mean, this is kind of peak second wave cave.

101
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Ghost Rider is like five movies after this.

102
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When was Army of One again?

103
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The only movie that matters, I think 2016.

104
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Perfect.

105
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So right in between these two movies.

106
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Don't check the math on that.

107
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It's right in the middle.

108
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We're not a math pod.

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Nope.

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I also thought the movie was pretty well produced, directed.

111
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Like the script, the script wasn't that good.

112
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Okay, so we'll just jump in.

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It starts in like, I don't remember 1976 and he's a kid and he's in his grandfather's attic.

114
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And his grandfather's, what's his name, Plummer?

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The like, really?

116
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No, not Martin.

117
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Gloss over that.

118
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Nope.

119
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Christopher Plummer.

120
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There you go.

121
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Thank you.

122
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So Hunter Gomez playing.

123
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Young Benjamin Franklin.

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Benjamin Franklin Gates is in the attic of his grandfather's house.

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This is like the first minute of the movie.

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Christopher Plummer comes up there and is like, there is a treasure that only our family knows about.

127
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And like he gets this clue of a treasure that's been fought over for like millennia at that point.

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The Templar's treasure.

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Yeah, the Templar's treasure and the Masons, the Freemasons have gotten hold of it and are moving it around to like fuck with the British.

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And to keep it safe.

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And all they have is this one clue.

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The secret lies with Charlie.

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Yeah.

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And that has been at that point, like leading up into the 70s where we're in this attic now.

135
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So Ben Gates played by our hero, Nick Cage, he's like military and has like degrees in history and policy and all kinds of stuff.

136
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And he becomes this treasure hunter moving on into like the seventh minute of the movie.

137
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He's in what I think is the Arctic at that point with Sean Bean and some goons.

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Well, and Justin Barth.

139
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Yeah, and Riley.

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Riley, who is like the best sidekick who's such a 90s kind of hacker character.

141
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Yeah.

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This could have had a much more interesting opening scene if the first scene was just Ben Gates watching Indiana Jones.

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So they're in these like weird snowcat machines and they can just cross the Arctic with no problem.

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And they have technology that definitely isn't real or didn't exist.

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And they can just be like, we're almost there if the coordinates are correct.

146
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Satellites existed in 2004.

147
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Sure.

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Yeah, I just really liked that one guy being like, how do we even know this is right?

149
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And then Riley says a bunch of things that don't mean anything and don't actually point to any like conclusions.

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And he's just like, so, you know, could be that.

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And it's like, you're it.

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But don't and then he says like, but don't trust me, I broke a shoelace today.

153
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Yeah.

154
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And he's like, what's bad, bad luck?

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Fuck.

156
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They end up finding their location with some metal detectors or some shit.

157
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And they dig up a whole last ship named Charlotte, named Charlotte after the spider and.

158
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Some pig.

159
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That was actually the answer to the secret or the clue.

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You guys brought me over.

161
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You guys brought me over here just to fuck with me, didn't you?

162
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You're not going to let me get through this at all.

163
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This isn't even an actual recorded episode.

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How deep does a metal detector detect?

165
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Well, that's the thing is that that ship was only like two feet under the snow.

166
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Somehow it's been buried there for like 150 years.

167
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But like Nick Cage dug it up using a bottle of water.

168
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Second time he's used bottles of water in these.

169
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Yeah, that's that's how you find treasure.

170
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So they get in the ship and they think there's going to be a treasure.

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And instead they find a powder keg that has like some ancient pipe with an inscription

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that you have to apply ink or in this case, blood to so you can read it.

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That was my that's one of my favorite scenes, though, is he recognizes that like,

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oh, we have to like rub blood on this and roll it out onto a piece of parchment.

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And then he's reading it.

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And he does it for anybody that got to listen to the episode with National Treasure 2.

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He does the sort of same thing where he's like that that super Jeff Goldblum.

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Like, what does it mean?

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It's the the pen, the iron pen, the pen is iron.

180
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It's made of no, it's not made of it.

181
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It's wet in the it's a there's lead in the pen.

182
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No, it's heavy.

183
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It's mineral. Oh, God.

184
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And it was just so dumb that he was able to figure out that riddle.

185
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I know it's in about your class in about 30 seconds of talking out loud of being wrong

186
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:28,100
about everything and then just and then just knew after that to be fair.

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That's how every one of us has gotten through life.

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Just talking and being wrong about everything until we say the right thing.

189
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That's just living.

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One of the only fun facts that I found was, you know, as he's doing that,

191
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one of the other guys is like, it's a prison.

192
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It's a prison.

193
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Talking about a prison.

194
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And then the iron man.

195
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Yeah. And then Riley just says Albuquerque.

196
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I can do it to snorkel.

197
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That's apparently a weird Al reference.

198
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Really? Yeah.

199
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:55,600
Oh, that's exciting.

200
00:09:55,600 --> 00:10:00,300
Yeah. He lost his lucky glow in the dark autograph snorkel when he went to Albuquerque.

201
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,100
Hey, weird Al, if you're listening.

202
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,800
Oh, he is. We love you.

203
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,000
We were at your concert. We were at your concert.

204
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,800
It was amazing. He played Albuquerque. It was a blast.

205
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,000
At this point, Sean Bean's angry that there's not a there's not a treasure on the ship.

206
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So he blows it up and tries to trap Nick Cage.

207
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,200
He doesn't know about Riley pool.

208
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:20,200
And well, he said, well, it's his plan to steal the declaration.

209
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,100
So Ben can figure out the map.

210
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,100
The map is on the back of the declaration.

211
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:29,700
Yeah. And that's when Sean Bean's like, I have other skills besides writing checks,

212
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:31,900
which I don't think he does.

213
00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:35,600
I think he just writes checks to people with with other skills,

214
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,500
because he had the one time he tries to he physically tries to break into a place.

215
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:44,000
They get arrested by like 90 cops who couldn't have been that well hidden.

216
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,800
He solved one part of one riddle once.

217
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:51,300
Yeah. He does the junior jumble.

218
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:54,400
The stealing of the declaration, that scene was that sequence.

219
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,600
Oh, the heist was great.

220
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,800
That was probably the best part of the whole movie.

221
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,900
They figure out it's on the back of the declaration.

222
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,300
Sean Bean's like, well, I'm going to steal it.

223
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:07,400
And then Ben's like, well, we can't do that.

224
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:12,400
So here's a really long plan to steal it ourselves.

225
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,000
To protect it. Yeah.

226
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,600
And that's where we meet Abigail Chase, Diane Krueger.

227
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:18,800
She was not great in this movie.

228
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,100
No. Second one, she's better.

229
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:24,000
Yeah. I do still really like a couple of weeks to practice.

230
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:28,100
I still really do like just their bantering in these films.

231
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,200
No, they have fine chemistry.

232
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,600
Yeah, they have fine chemistry. I enjoy the banter.

233
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,900
There was a lot of telling women to shut up in this movie.

234
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,300
I was surprised by that.

235
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,900
2004, simpler times.

236
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Different times.

237
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Just after Friends.

238
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,100
I mean, how many women are in this movie?

239
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There's her and then there's an urban outfitters cashier.

240
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:52,600
Yeah. And the lady at the National Archives thrift store,

241
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,200
which was just a Visa ad.

242
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,100
A lot of ad placements in this movie.

243
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:59,700
Like when they went to Jersey Mike's and he had to like

244
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:04,700
steal a foot long cheesesteak and a buddy had to wrap it

245
00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:06,800
in the Declaration of Independence.

246
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,900
They don't handle that Declaration of Independence

247
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:11,700
with any fucking reverence after the initial scene

248
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,200
where they handle it with reverence.

249
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,400
Then everyone is like rubbing their face oils all over it.

250
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,300
The first scene where they have to like roll it out

251
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,800
and like there's gloves and everyone's like,

252
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,200
and then every other scene they're just whipping it out

253
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,600
of the sheet and just tearing it open.

254
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,000
Well, they didn't have time then.

255
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:26,700
Yeah.

256
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:29,000
Apparently they had to like look for a secret

257
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,800
hidden messages like now.

258
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,800
It also kind of pissed me off.

259
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:39,100
So he steals this Abigail chases all mad.

260
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:43,000
She gets kidnapped and then he kidnaps her back to safety.

261
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,100
Yeah.

262
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,200
Just like the kind of the and like and like has to take her

263
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:52,700
to has to take her to Philadelphia and tie up his dad.

264
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:53,800
We made a couple big leaps.

265
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,600
Yeah, then they're just like we're going to put lemon juice

266
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,500
all over this because we have to see this map and she's like

267
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,400
if anybody's going to do this, it's going to be me because

268
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:06,200
I'm trained to handle documents like this and like an hour ago.

269
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,400
She's being kidnapped by this guy.

270
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,100
Yeah.

271
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:11,200
And now they're sharing a breath over it.

272
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,600
Yeah, exactly.

273
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,200
I do like I do like the reasoning she's there because they

274
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,500
are just like you're free to go and she's like, well,

275
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:18,800
if you really didn't want me to come with you,

276
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,300
you probably wouldn't have told me where you were going.

277
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,500
Yeah.

278
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,100
Did we want to talk about the heist at all?

279
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:24,900
I love heist.

280
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,500
You love I mean, I do love heist.

281
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,300
I thought it was a pretty lackluster heist.

282
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:32,700
He uses the Declaration of Independence to avoid getting

283
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:33,400
shot.

284
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:37,700
Yeah, I mean it had like good moments, but it was really

285
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:41,100
like a heist of like a couple beats.

286
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,100
That's fair, but there are two heists going on because when

287
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,500
he's like, well, I don't really consider Ian's heist a heist.

288
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:47,200
That's not a heist.

289
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,000
That's burglary.

290
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:48,900
That's just like armed robbery.

291
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:50,500
Yeah, that's fair.

292
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:53,900
So both these both the first and second one like are in the

293
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,700
Library of Congress for like decent amounts of this.

294
00:13:56,700 --> 00:14:00,000
I mean they were in the Library of Congress for like a minute

295
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,700
when Riley's like here's all these records and then they

296
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:05,700
shifted the scene out of it.

297
00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:06,700
Yeah, I'm getting that.

298
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:07,900
The other one spends a lot more time.

299
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,100
National Archives.

300
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:09,900
This one's just.

301
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:10,900
I was getting that confused.

302
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:12,100
California Public Schools.

303
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:13,600
Yeah, I understand.

304
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:18,000
I do like how all of their security measures are just

305
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,900
readily available for them to like look at.

306
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:21,500
Yeah.

307
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:25,900
I mean, I don't know what the Library of Congress actually

308
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,900
gives out, but I don't think it's like the security measures

309
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:32,700
that protect the Declaration of Independence.

310
00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:35,100
I don't think they just have that on file even like if you

311
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:38,800
have to look between seven different files to piece it

312
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,100
together.

313
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,100
I don't think that's available.

314
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:42,900
Yeah, I don't think the Library of Congress is telling you

315
00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:47,400
like if you come in and you shine a green laser in this

316
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,200
quarter inch little now Dealey Bob.

317
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,800
Here's a question.

318
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:55,700
What if they do and all we have to do is go to the Library

319
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,100
of Congress and we can do like a lot of crime.

320
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:01,200
Then the only thing holding us back is illiteracy.

321
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,600
Well, all right.

322
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,000
I guess that's our first is our next podcast.

323
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,200
That's our first field trip.

324
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,900
Nick and Sean learn to read.

325
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:12,100
This is going to be a sweet podcast.

326
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:16,100
I don't know that high level literacy is typically the best

327
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,200
in for crime.

328
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,400
Like we're not talking about crime.

329
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,600
We're talking about high stand.

330
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,000
We're talking about good crime.

331
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,600
Yeah, book crime book crime.

332
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,600
Okay, you're right.

333
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:31,000
We're going to find treasures guys totally not related to

334
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,800
book crime, but I was walking my dog the other day and I

335
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:40,200
found a pile of Asian import porno DVDs.

336
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,900
And we're going to watch them right now.

337
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:44,400
Yeah.

338
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:44,800
Yeah.

339
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:45,500
So I've got a new.

340
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,500
It's a live idea.

341
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:47,100
Get nice.

342
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:48,300
Did you keep them?

343
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:53,800
I mean, are you asking if I'm just in possession of them?

344
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,300
Yes, because I don't intend on keeping them.

345
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:57,600
These are like one and done.

346
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,600
Did you make well carry them?

347
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,200
Yeah, I got little saddlebags that are bigger than him.

348
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,800
That way when you get weird looks like, yeah, my dog's a

349
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,300
freak.

350
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:09,000
Don't kick shame my dog.

351
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,800
It's okay.

352
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,300
Wallace.

353
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:13,000
See, I'm a weird boners.

354
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,500
You want they steal the Declaration of Independence.

355
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:20,300
Abigail gets kidnapped by Sean Bean and then unkidnapped by

356
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:21,000
kidnapping.

357
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:21,500
Yeah.

358
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:24,300
Well, he saves her and then they just don't take her back

359
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:27,100
because they can't go back because they have his credit

360
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,600
card information, which means they know who he is.

361
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:33,200
He'd set up some kind of weird room in his apartment so that

362
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,000
he could he could put lemons on the Declaration of Independence,

363
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,500
but he can't go there now.

364
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,300
So he has to go to his dad's house in Philadelphia.

365
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,300
Why does his dad have so many fucking lemons?

366
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:47,300
He has like 43 lemons in the refrigerator pre-cut because

367
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,300
Patrick is hosting a lot of lemon parties.

368
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,900
Do any of you keep lemons in your refrigerator?

369
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:54,600
Is that where you store lemons?

370
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,900
This is the same guy that also just had like a grip of pizza

371
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:02,100
sitting out on like some coffee table in like a sitting room.

372
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,100
Yeah, still warm.

373
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:07,300
Super nice East Coast home.

374
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:12,600
And he's going there because his father played by John Voight.

375
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:16,400
Apparently is in possession of the original copies of the

376
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,100
silence do good letters.

377
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,800
Is that a real thing?

378
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:20,900
Has anybody ever looked that up?

379
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:21,900
Yeah, it's very real.

380
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,400
Okay, all of that's real.

381
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,900
I'd be frankly shocked to find out that there are originals.

382
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,900
I mean, I'd be frankly shocked to find out there was a map on

383
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,900
the back of the Declaration of Independence.

384
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:35,700
If that's where our level of what shocks us is Adam.

385
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:38,900
To be fair, there was never a map on the back of the

386
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:39,900
Declaration.

387
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,900
What if that had just been like a one-off?

388
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:45,700
It's just been like a daguerreotype porn is flipping

389
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:47,700
those special spectacles.

390
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:48,700
Just Franklin porn.

391
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:52,300
Oh God, Benjamin Franklin.

392
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:55,400
What you know that guy was into it.

393
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:56,900
Like that's a well-known fact.

394
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,500
Yeah, it's like one of those pens where you turn it upside

395
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,600
down and the bikini top floats off.

396
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:02,100
There you go.

397
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,600
It's like you flip the lenses back and forth.

398
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,400
It's like, hmm.

399
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,100
Oh girl.

400
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:07,100
Yeah, you naughty.

401
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:08,700
Put that bodice on.

402
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:11,000
Now take it off.

403
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:16,500
You just got to flip the declaration upside down.

404
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:20,900
The Declaration of Independence is like the original

405
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,500
Magic Eye.

406
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:26,100
But yeah, they go over to Patrick Gates' place in

407
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:26,800
Philadelphia.

408
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,800
Where they eat pizza and then handle the Declaration of

409
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,400
Independence and they find a cipher key on the back.

410
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:38,900
Which they determine is why they need the silence do-good

411
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:39,400
letters.

412
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,300
The cipher key will give them the answer to the next clue.

413
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:46,500
He had like photocopies in his apartment.

414
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:50,600
Yeah, when Sean Bean solves the puzzle to his friend just

415
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,800
like pulls up the silence do-good website.

416
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,200
Yeah, they Yahoo'd it.

417
00:18:55,200 --> 00:19:00,500
Yeah, because it was 2004.

418
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:03,500
It's like why didn't they just do that at Patrick Gates'

419
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:06,800
house? If it's just that easy, why is this happening?

420
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,200
Sean Bean does the whole thing.

421
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,900
He's working on his pad and he's like, oh, that's right.

422
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,300
Why is silence capitalized?

423
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:13,800
That's right.

424
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,100
Yeah, that's right.

425
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,400
Keeps coming back to it.

426
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,800
Yeah, it's like why are these two letters capitalized?

427
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,100
Because they're important.

428
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:22,800
Well, all shucks, bud.

429
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,100
Because they're names.

430
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:24,600
Yeah.

431
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,200
So then later they Yahoo'd it.

432
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:31,100
I do want to say I do really like Sean Bean's like head

433
00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:31,600
goon.

434
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,300
Yeah.

435
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:33,700
You know, not Vinnie Jones.

436
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:36,200
It's like, it's not Vinnie Jones.

437
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,200
Now, it's not Vinnie Jones.

438
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,400
It wasn't Vinnie Jones.

439
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,700
Just kind of realized that treasure maps are fucking

440
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:42,400
bullshit.

441
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,600
Go on.

442
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,900
It's fucking ridiculous.

443
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:49,400
It's like I'm going to hide this thing that's super important,

444
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,900
but I'm going to also leave a dick ton of clues all over the

445
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:53,300
place.

446
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,700
It's a good point, though.

447
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:58,100
Treasure maps are fucking dumb, but I'm also going to leave

448
00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:01,300
clues and I'm going to make these clues like super

449
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:04,400
figureoutable by people 200 years from now.

450
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,200
Where were we?

451
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:07,800
Yes.

452
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,600
So silence do good letters.

453
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:09,800
Yeah.

454
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,900
So they have to go and look at the letters, the actual letters,

455
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,600
but they're all wanted by the Fed.

456
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,600
So they hire some kid.

457
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,300
They pay a kid to go in for a dollar a dollar letter.

458
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,000
This is my least favorite part.

459
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,700
So the racist know the puzzle.

460
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,400
No, that kid fucking that kid actually really good.

461
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,700
I have thoughts about another kid later in this podcast.

462
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:34,900
I hated that fucking tower time puzzle.

463
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:38,900
Well, because you needed to give Riley like one thing.

464
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,900
He also solved that puzzle with a bottle of water.

465
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,100
Did he?

466
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,700
Yes, because he took the hundred dollar bill and he used it

467
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:48,000
as a magnifying glass to look at the clock.

468
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,700
Jesus Christ.

469
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:53,800
What was killing me though is Rachel brought it up to when

470
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:54,500
we were watching it.

471
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:59,500
She was like, so the clock tower casts a shadow and what do

472
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:03,100
they do if it's overcast or it's not the correct season?

473
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,500
Good fucking point.

474
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:08,300
It must be good for just one day and you didn't take after

475
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,600
this film and tell her shut up.

476
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,300
I'm confident.

477
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,800
Shut up of your mouth.

478
00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:15,700
I had not actually thought about that.

479
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:18,100
I mean, I thought it was kind of a stupid gag, but I know I

480
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,800
not actually thought the second she said it.

481
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,500
I was like, oh yeah, this wouldn't work most of the time.

482
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,200
Okay, but see, here's what bothered me about this puzzle is

483
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:31,200
so at two o'clock the tower where the Liberty Bell was held

484
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:35,500
will like cast a shadow over a specific brick that within

485
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:40,000
it is the special like 3D glasses of the red and blue.

486
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,800
But the thing is once he gets on the roof and he's looking

487
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,600
at it, there's a giant Mason symbol on it.

488
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,700
So I'm like, has no one ever questioned that?

489
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,000
Like nobody ever reroofed that building.

490
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:53,500
Yeah.

491
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,000
Yeah.

492
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:54,500
Nope.

493
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,600
The the Mason symbols in the top right corner.

494
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,500
So, you know, there's a secret inside.

495
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:00,500
That's how you know.

496
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:04,100
Yeah, but also it's so previously established with the

497
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:05,300
Declaration of Independence.

498
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:06,000
Uh-huh.

499
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,200
But yeah, so then there's an extended chase sequence through

500
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,600
like, oh, I forgot about that scene.

501
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:12,800
Yeah, it was like just a Saturday.

502
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,000
Just a normal.

503
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,700
I was like going through Pike Place Market.

504
00:22:15,700 --> 00:22:19,100
Yeah, she just dove behind a butchers.

505
00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:23,600
But then I do like the market scene, not Vinnie Jones when

506
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,100
Abigail's hiding behind like the fish vendor like in the

507
00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:27,600
stall.

508
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,500
She says she's hiding from her ex-husband and the one is

509
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:32,000
working assaults like get the guy to go.

510
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:32,900
It's like, can I help you sir?

511
00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:35,600
And he just looks at it goes shut up.

512
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:35,900
All right.

513
00:22:35,900 --> 00:22:36,200
There you go.

514
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,000
There's another one.

515
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,100
Then she says I could see why you left him.

516
00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:42,400
Yeah, that chase scene through Philadelphia across the roof

517
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,400
and through the yeah, there are sorts of chases happening.

518
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,100
It was it was split up.

519
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:52,100
It was just a weird a weird segue like it didn't need to

520
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:52,600
happen.

521
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,300
Well, it gave Sean Bean the declaration.

522
00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:59,600
It also and then it also firmly established him as like the

523
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,100
villain.

524
00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:03,800
Yeah, and then yes, you know only an hour and 20 minutes

525
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,300
into this movie Ben gets arrested.

526
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:10,300
This is where this and this is where Harvey Keitel starts to

527
00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:12,600
really make become a firm right.

528
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,000
Harvey Keitel is also in this movie.

529
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:14,500
I forgot.

530
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:16,400
Yeah, he plays certain Sadusky.

531
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:21,300
Yeah, yeah, but that's like that's the point.

532
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:26,800
His finger on like, you know, no, no, no.

533
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,000
He's he's introduced.

534
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:34,000
He's introduced in DC at the heist and then he's brought

535
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,100
back in Philadelphia when they when they go when they find

536
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:38,800
out he's he's been at his dad's place.

537
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,700
But like after this this chase scene and Ben Gates is arrested.

538
00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:45,500
That's when he really gets to make a firm established

539
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:49,200
character and he does become critical character through the

540
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,400
rest of the movie at that point in the sequel to I mean kind

541
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,300
of what in custody they make a deal to get the declaration

542
00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:59,900
back from Sean Bean by going to a naval ship like on a tour.

543
00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:02,100
Yeah, they basically combined forces.

544
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:05,700
He has to jump off a ship because Sean Bean's guys are in

545
00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:07,900
the water with scuba gear to get him away.

546
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:10,700
I've always wanted to have one of those like scuba missile

547
00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:11,200
things.

548
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,500
Yeah, those would be great.

549
00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:13,400
Wouldn't it be cool?

550
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,200
That'd be so much fun as somebody who doesn't swim super

551
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,000
well would have been very handy would have been fantastic

552
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:19,400
that time.

553
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,600
My kayak tipped over at Lake Washington.

554
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:25,000
Shout out to the people who rescued us that one time.

555
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,800
They gave me a ham sandwich.

556
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,900
And this is where we're kind of starting.

557
00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:33,500
We're finally in the final like 30 minutes of this film.

558
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:37,200
They get to yeah, they wrap it up pretty quick.

559
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:43,300
Yeah, they find out where the vault is underneath or with

560
00:24:43,300 --> 00:24:47,300
in a Mason's like under Trinity Church under Trinity Church

561
00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:48,700
Broad Street and here.

562
00:24:48,700 --> 00:24:51,600
But the wall was probably in Wall Street here.

563
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,300
And yeah, and the clues are dumb.

564
00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:57,500
See, here's the thing where I think the second movie is

565
00:24:57,500 --> 00:25:00,300
better is there's an actual like cool dungeon.

566
00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:04,700
And this one it's just like here's an old elevator that

567
00:25:04,700 --> 00:25:05,700
Ben Franklin made.

568
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:07,000
Here's some shitty stairs.

569
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:07,900
Here's some shitty stairs.

570
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:08,600
Good luck, y'all.

571
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,200
Yeah, and then that dude just fucking falls to his death

572
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,000
horribly.

573
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,200
Yeah, not Vinnie Jones.

574
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:15,300
That was fucking awesome.

575
00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:17,100
Also, that's part of the movie.

576
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,900
Something that I didn't scream much something that I perfect

577
00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:23,300
opportunity for a Wilhelm screen, right?

578
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,600
Sorry, something that I hadn't picked up on it.

579
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:29,800
Admittedly very stupidly hadn't picked up on in probably

580
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,200
the dozen or so times.

581
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,700
I've seen this movie is when they get into that vault and

582
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:36,200
they're like, oh, that's a that's a chandelier and he

583
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,700
hits his torch to it and like lights up that entire shaft

584
00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:43,300
that that whole thing was made of wood.

585
00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:45,900
I was sitting there looking at it.

586
00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:49,200
I was like, I don't know how I just glossed over this for

587
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,300
the last 20 years chandelier of wood.

588
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:52,800
You're in a room full of wood.

589
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,300
That's old as fuck with no ventilation.

590
00:25:55,300 --> 00:25:55,800
Yeah.

591
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,800
So yeah, there's a little action where like all the stairs

592
00:25:58,800 --> 00:25:59,300
are falling apart.

593
00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:01,900
They have to jump on these elevators at one point.

594
00:26:01,900 --> 00:26:04,900
Nick Cage has to choose between the girl and the declaration.

595
00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:05,800
Do you trust me?

596
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:10,100
Yeah, being directed is like imagine you're somehow Indiana

597
00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:12,500
Jones and Han Solo at the same time.

598
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:15,700
To be fair, Nick Cage did steal the kiss before that scene.

599
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:16,500
So she fell.

600
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,300
He got that scene was so dumb.

601
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:22,200
Yeah, when they're especially because the goon the goon

602
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:22,700
follow.

603
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,300
What doesn't this ever happen to me like in that that shitty

604
00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:29,900
Scottish accent because you're a bad guy, dude.

605
00:26:29,900 --> 00:26:31,800
Yeah, you don't get smooches.

606
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,300
Yeah, but yeah, like he drops her on that thing after previously

607
00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:37,700
seeing a dude fall on a piece of that wood.

608
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:40,500
For him just stepping on it.

609
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:41,500
Do you trust me?

610
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:44,600
But they get down there.

611
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,500
They find an empty chamber.

612
00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:49,300
There's a lamp in there.

613
00:26:49,300 --> 00:26:50,700
There's a lantern in there.

614
00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:55,600
The Gates's spin some bullshit about how you know, Paul Revere

615
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:56,000
reference.

616
00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:00,800
So the next clues in Boston, so they send them off and they

617
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,100
leave them down there to either die or to come back for if

618
00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:05,100
the clues not there.

619
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,400
The good guys in the good guys.

620
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:11,100
Riley, Ben, Patrick and Abigail and then they're in the room.

621
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,800
Then they find the actual treasure vault behind a hidden

622
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,600
wall, but it's already been cleared out.

623
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,500
And then that's when father and son have the holes like, you

624
00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:20,700
know, you were right son.

625
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,700
Yeah, we didn't find it, but it means it's true.

626
00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:24,100
It means we'll find it one day.

627
00:27:24,500 --> 00:27:26,900
And then yeah, and then they realized like there's got to be

628
00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:27,600
a way out of here.

629
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,800
In case your father's the first thing they would have done

630
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,600
after digging the original shaft is dig a secondary shaft

631
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:34,200
for air.

632
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:34,700
Yeah.

633
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:36,500
And then so we can get out of here.

634
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:40,700
They use the pipe to open a secret door to enter another

635
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:41,800
vault that has everything.

636
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,000
And here's my issue with this entire movie cut out the first

637
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:45,500
vault.

638
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,300
I really enjoyed this movie.

639
00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:48,200
I have for a long time.

640
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,500
I will continue to enjoy it.

641
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:50,700
I really enjoyed my rewatch of it.

642
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,800
It definitely was overwritten.

643
00:27:54,100 --> 00:27:55,000
I agree with you.

644
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,900
So they find the treasure then.

645
00:27:56,900 --> 00:27:58,000
Yes, there's a staircase.

646
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,900
There's another door that leads to out of another grave right

647
00:28:01,900 --> 00:28:04,600
next to the first one, which means if you just would have

648
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,900
gone two slats over you could have avoided all of that

649
00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:09,500
bullshit.

650
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:11,900
That wasn't that wasn't in the clues.

651
00:28:11,900 --> 00:28:15,000
I know but it's my same issue with the game Skyrim.

652
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,100
You go through an annoying door over there.

653
00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:18,900
You go through an annoying ass dungeon to get a treasure

654
00:28:18,900 --> 00:28:20,900
and then there's just a back door.

655
00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:23,300
Yeah, or the uncharted games.

656
00:28:23,300 --> 00:28:26,600
Yeah, it's like I'm deep underground in untouched ruins.

657
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,500
Why is somebody shooting at me?

658
00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:32,400
But yeah, then they get their freedom by when they talk to

659
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:33,900
Sandusky.

660
00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:35,300
They get their freedom.

661
00:28:35,300 --> 00:28:37,800
Well, yes, they secure their freedom.

662
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:42,300
They bargain with Sandusky and you know while he's talking

663
00:28:42,300 --> 00:28:45,500
to Sandusky, Sandusky has a mason ring.

664
00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:49,400
Yeah, and then Sandusky just happens to know all this shit

665
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:49,800
about this.

666
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,300
Just said to Sadusky or Sadusky.

667
00:28:53,300 --> 00:28:54,400
There's a do ski is worse.

668
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,900
Let's say that he is definitely somebody else.

669
00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:59,200
Okay, Sandusky is the guy who does other things with his

670
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:00,000
finger rings.

671
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:03,800
No, by the way, there's a pinky ring with the mason symbol

672
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:04,200
on it.

673
00:29:04,500 --> 00:29:06,400
Harvey Keitel knows a bunch about the treasure.

674
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,100
I'm like, why didn't you just listen to him in the first

675
00:29:09,100 --> 00:29:09,300
place?

676
00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:12,300
Then well, obviously he doesn't want him to like go looking

677
00:29:12,300 --> 00:29:13,800
for it finds anyway.

678
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,400
Oh, and they decide they're going to give it to all the

679
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,900
museums of the world because not one nation can hold this

680
00:29:17,900 --> 00:29:20,500
which yeah, America would not let that happen.

681
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,800
No, no, that's on account of more terrible.

682
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:29,400
We we came a lot of us came from from the British who would

683
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,000
also not let that happen.

684
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,300
We learned from watching you British dad.

685
00:29:34,300 --> 00:29:37,300
He had originally estimated that the value of this entire

686
00:29:37,300 --> 00:29:39,400
thing was $10 billion.

687
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:40,000
Correct.

688
00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:40,600
Yeah.

689
00:29:40,700 --> 00:29:42,000
Well, I okay.

690
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:42,500
Yes.

691
00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:45,400
He he Harvey Keitel was going to arrest him and he was like

692
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,100
whoa about five stories below.

693
00:29:47,100 --> 00:29:50,600
Yeah, there's about $10 billion worth of history, but how

694
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,400
would you quantify?

695
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:53,700
Yeah, even still.

696
00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:54,000
Okay.

697
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,500
So let's just call it $5 billion.

698
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:57,000
Sure.

699
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:03,100
What is 1% of 5 billion 1% of 5 billion would be 50 million.

700
00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:04,200
I think 50 million.

701
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:08,600
So then Riley Poole walked on the $25 million and all he got

702
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,100
was that fucking spider.

703
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:12,700
Yeah, and that's what he's bitching about in the second

704
00:30:12,700 --> 00:30:16,700
movie, which he wrecks in the second movie with a cardboard

705
00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:17,800
cut out of him in it.

706
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:18,300
That's right.

707
00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:21,500
It's to he has his like sports car that he doesn't know how

708
00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:25,400
to drive and you know, Gates and Abigail have this like big

709
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,600
mansion and then she gives him a map and he's like, what's

710
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:31,300
it to it's like, oh, you'll find out and then he chased her

711
00:30:31,300 --> 00:30:31,700
in the house.

712
00:30:31,700 --> 00:30:32,400
Clitoris.

713
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:38,600
I was gonna say butt stuff, but they're not Millennials.

714
00:30:40,300 --> 00:30:42,800
So the clitoris is probably off the table too.

715
00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:46,300
And that's national trailer.

716
00:30:46,300 --> 00:30:48,200
Hashtag just boomer things.

717
00:30:49,700 --> 00:30:52,000
Adam, do you have a particular quote from this film?

718
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,600
The one that always has kind of stuck out to me as like a

719
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,100
cagey kind of quote was when they're in the park right after

720
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:04,100
stealing the declaration and re-kidnapping Abigail Chase to

721
00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:07,700
safety and she's like trying to she's just doing a horrible

722
00:31:07,700 --> 00:31:10,500
job of acting and trying to steal the declaration.

723
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,000
I don't remember the exact quote, but it's the way he

724
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000
delivered it where he's like, I'm going to let you hold onto

725
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,000
this and he hands her the decoration of his fence.

726
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:23,700
Yes, if you'll shut up, mine is mine is similar because it's

727
00:31:23,700 --> 00:31:26,600
when they're in the van going to where that happens like

728
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:27,100
they're fighting.

729
00:31:27,100 --> 00:31:30,600
He's like, you're still shouting and starting to annoy.

730
00:31:32,900 --> 00:31:35,200
I did like when he asked her if she was hungry in that scene.

731
00:31:37,900 --> 00:31:42,400
My favorite was actually not about telling women to shut

732
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:47,900
up at the the gala there at the thingy Riley's talking to Ben

733
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:51,900
over a headset and Ben's just changing out of his like

734
00:31:51,900 --> 00:31:55,900
custodian clothes into a tuxedo and Riley's like, how do

735
00:31:55,900 --> 00:31:59,900
you look and Cage just looks in a mirror.

736
00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:01,400
He's like not bad.

737
00:32:02,300 --> 00:32:03,600
And Riley's like mazel tov.

738
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,300
It's like they're obviously doing separate readings not

739
00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:07,400
connected to each other.

740
00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:09,700
Cage is just like so serious.

741
00:32:09,700 --> 00:32:11,500
Like how do I look?

742
00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:12,700
Not bad.

743
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:15,800
It's like that is that is not what he's doing here.

744
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:20,000
You're not picking up what he's laying down mazel tov.

745
00:32:20,500 --> 00:32:24,700
Also, I mean for Josh because he's he is a patron and we'd

746
00:32:24,700 --> 00:32:28,700
be remiss if we didn't mention the quote last time this

747
00:32:28,700 --> 00:32:29,600
document was here.

748
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:34,500
It was being signed because he quotes a lot.

749
00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:37,000
What's so good?

750
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,500
Cage good movie bad cage.

751
00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:39,500
Good movie bad bad.

752
00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:39,700
Good.

753
00:32:39,700 --> 00:32:40,000
Good.

754
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:40,300
Good.

755
00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:40,500
Bad.

756
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:40,700
Bad.

757
00:32:40,700 --> 00:32:41,000
Good.

758
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:41,300
Bad.

759
00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:41,500
Bad.

760
00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:41,700
Good.

761
00:32:41,700 --> 00:32:41,900
Good.

762
00:32:41,900 --> 00:32:42,200
Bad.

763
00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:44,200
Perfect.

764
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:45,900
I know that I don't get to have a vote.

765
00:32:45,900 --> 00:32:47,100
So I'm just going to go first.

766
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:48,500
I mean you got to vote on this part.

767
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:52,600
I still get to talk medium medium cage good movie.

768
00:32:53,100 --> 00:32:54,000
That's a cop out.

769
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,000
I'm going to I'm going to okay if I can't do medium because

770
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,500
I was also going to do the inversion of that.

771
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,300
I think this was a medium movie.

772
00:33:03,100 --> 00:33:04,000
Good cage.

773
00:33:04,100 --> 00:33:05,200
You know, there's good cage.

774
00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:09,000
I thought that he played that character of like somewhat

775
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,900
charismatic treasure hunter, you know, smart adventure.

776
00:33:12,900 --> 00:33:14,400
I never like pretty well.

777
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,100
I think I misunderstood the assignment.

778
00:33:16,100 --> 00:33:18,900
I did this did not feel like I thought he did a good job.

779
00:33:18,900 --> 00:33:21,500
I just did not feel like I mean this was like the cagey

780
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:22,200
est role.

781
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,100
No, this is I mean also I mean that's on your definition.

782
00:33:25,100 --> 00:33:25,800
Look at the movies.

783
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,500
I listed off that were coming out around this time.

784
00:33:27,500 --> 00:33:31,800
This is kind of his return to not serious roles, but he

785
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,700
did adaptation to movies before this matchstick men was

786
00:33:34,700 --> 00:33:36,000
next Lord of Wars coming up.

787
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,400
This is a little more in his movie star movie star.

788
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:40,900
Yeah, era.

789
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,400
I would say good cage good movie and it's I mean, it's a

790
00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:45,500
it's also a Disney movie, right?

791
00:33:45,500 --> 00:33:45,900
It is.

792
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,400
Yes Rockhammer production.

793
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,300
It was almost a touchstone picture, which is when it goes

794
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,100
slightly older, but they got it to PG.

795
00:33:53,300 --> 00:33:56,100
Yeah, I mean this will not be the last time I've seen this

796
00:33:56,100 --> 00:34:00,100
movie saying so I'm with Peter.

797
00:34:00,100 --> 00:34:01,300
I thought it was good.

798
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,500
Good cage medium movie.

799
00:34:04,500 --> 00:34:05,500
We've seen better heists.

800
00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:08,200
We've seen better puzzle-solving, you know, we've seen more

801
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,400
concise stories.

802
00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:12,600
Definitely that we've definitely seen all of those things

803
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:13,800
multiple times.

804
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:17,000
Yeah, I mean it's a mid seed.

805
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:21,000
Yeah, if this thing were 20 minutes shorter, I think oh,

806
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,400
we've got a tight fun fucking romp of a movie.

807
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:29,000
Yeah, if you could break it down and make it 30 minutes

808
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:29,600
shorter.

809
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,600
Yeah, put it in and at like an hour 45.

810
00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:34,400
You'd have me there.

811
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:34,800
Yeah.

812
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:38,600
Now. I mean, that's really the thing is this just it's so

813
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,600
long take a minute away from every scene.

814
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,600
You'll easily lose half an hour from this movie.

815
00:34:43,700 --> 00:34:47,000
Right like I mean won't miss any content just just the

816
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:52,000
scene where the the declaration exchanges hands because I

817
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,100
don't remember Abigail or Riley or whoever fucking falls down

818
00:34:55,100 --> 00:34:55,800
and it goes out.

819
00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:00,600
It's like run over by a bus and shit and then it just like

820
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:05,300
the slow mo of Sean Bean like walking up in in a suit.

821
00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:07,300
It's way oversized.

822
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:10,500
Did you all notice that this it's of an era Riley Poole's

823
00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:12,000
pants were way oversized.

824
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:12,300
Okay.

825
00:35:12,300 --> 00:35:12,800
Every time.

826
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:13,800
No, that reminds me.

827
00:35:13,900 --> 00:35:16,200
This is the thing that happens in every movie when someone

828
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,600
almost gets hit by a semi that just blares its horn because

829
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,600
someone like runs in the street that semi never stops.

830
00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:25,300
No, never no one ever stops to get out of the truck and be

831
00:35:25,300 --> 00:35:25,600
right.

832
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,000
Are you okay or what the fuck here's they just keep going.

833
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:34,200
Those guys get paid by how quickly they get there delivered

834
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:38,100
by Sean's was always just like Sean Beans.

835
00:35:38,100 --> 00:35:39,000
She's fucking fun.

836
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:43,400
Sean Beans costume designer in that movie was Janko like it

837
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,200
was fucking ridiculous.

838
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:48,400
I was just thinking I would love to see a movie and just in

839
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,300
the background like super serious movie in the background

840
00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:55,800
on some Street scene see some asshole and some jankos or see

841
00:35:55,800 --> 00:36:01,000
a jugalow just hanging out full stove pipes and extra does

842
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,500
anyone else remember Urban Outfitters?

843
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,200
Oh, yeah, they still exist.

844
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,300
Do they're around.

845
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:06,100
Oh my God.

846
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,100
I mean hot topic those things are all around.

847
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,100
I haven't been to a mall in like a word.

848
00:36:10,100 --> 00:36:12,100
You where do you meet women?

849
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:14,400
They don't.

850
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,100
Yeah, speaking of a movie that is a lot shorter, but probably

851
00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:21,700
could have shaved about 20 minutes off.

852
00:36:21,700 --> 00:36:27,500
It comes in at a crisp hour and 37.

853
00:36:27,500 --> 00:36:29,500
37 minutes with credits.

854
00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:31,500
Yeah, which you got to watch the credits.

855
00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:32,400
Okay, wait, of course.

856
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:33,900
What about an after credit scene?

857
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:41,900
2019's Primal which brings back all of the CG technology

858
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:44,400
of a late 90s Jumanji.

859
00:36:46,500 --> 00:36:49,400
The animal was in this movie is so fucking bad.

860
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:57,000
It's only the white jag the white jag like the monkeys are

861
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,400
fine because they never sign they're fine, but they never

862
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,400
stick on the monkeys long enough for it to matter.

863
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,100
Oh except for the baby monkey.

864
00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:07,500
Do you remember the baby monkeys look like my nutsack?

865
00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:11,300
What killed me was the fucking tapir that he's trying to

866
00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:12,500
get back in a cage.

867
00:37:12,700 --> 00:37:15,800
So you've got Nick cage like shuffling around with his arms

868
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,500
out trying to like get this fucking fake animal into a cage.

869
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,000
And it's terrible the tapir just walks so nonchalantly.

870
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,700
It's just like this is a movie.

871
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:29,900
This movie is fucking rocks.

872
00:37:31,100 --> 00:37:33,800
I wish you all could have had the experience of seeing this

873
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:34,900
for the first time.

874
00:37:35,100 --> 00:37:38,100
I mean, I did have that experience with a rocket scientist.

875
00:37:38,100 --> 00:37:38,500
Yeah.

876
00:37:40,100 --> 00:37:40,700
Talk about that.

877
00:37:40,700 --> 00:37:42,200
Yeah, play some groundwork.

878
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:47,500
So I watched this on Saturday and I was at John's house for

879
00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:48,000
context.

880
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,100
John is a rocket scientist.

881
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:53,900
Also a cage dancer for the pod and an eventual guest.

882
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:58,300
John had asked me to come over to teach him how to bake bread

883
00:37:58,700 --> 00:38:01,400
which takes a lot of time and I was like, I've got some stuff

884
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:01,900
going on.

885
00:38:01,900 --> 00:38:03,600
I've got school and I've got type.

886
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,600
I've got to watch this movie and he's like, well, we can

887
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:10,000
watch that movie while we're baking bread and listener if I

888
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:13,900
can give you any piece of advice if you want to watch Primal

889
00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:17,200
for the first time 20 minutes and 20 minute installments is

890
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:18,400
the way to do it.

891
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:23,300
Agreed 20 minutes take 15 minutes off and come back and

892
00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:24,100
start over.

893
00:38:24,100 --> 00:38:28,100
Nicholas Cage plays Frank Walsh, Fenca Jensen plays Dr.

894
00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:31,500
Ellen Taylor and everyone else is probably an extra from

895
00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:32,200
Burned Notice.

896
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,200
Kevin Durant.

897
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:34,400
Come on Kevin Durant.

898
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:34,700
Okay.

899
00:38:34,700 --> 00:38:36,000
He was excellent.

900
00:38:36,700 --> 00:38:38,400
He was amazing in this movie.

901
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:39,700
He out caged cage.

902
00:38:39,700 --> 00:38:40,700
Yes, true.

903
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,000
If this is the most phoned in cage performance, I feel we've

904
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:44,800
seen.

905
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,300
Oh, yeah, he really shit on this one.

906
00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:52,000
This one was pretty it might be the least dialed cage that

907
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:52,600
we've seen.

908
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:53,000
Yeah.

909
00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:56,400
So I mean, I feel like he tried to connect with other roles

910
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,500
more like even Left Behind.

911
00:38:58,500 --> 00:39:01,200
I feel like he tried to left behind.

912
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,600
He was just a fucking ham sandwich the entire time.

913
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:08,300
Yeah, but in this movie, he's just giving us the lines with

914
00:39:08,300 --> 00:39:10,800
whatever reading he felt like it's a moment.

915
00:39:10,900 --> 00:39:14,800
So cage had done a movie with this director before.

916
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,900
I don't think anybody here how old I don't think anybody

917
00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:20,700
directed this movie outcast, which I mentioned earlier with

918
00:39:20,700 --> 00:39:24,300
Hayden Christensen and they felt that through the production

919
00:39:24,300 --> 00:39:24,700
process.

920
00:39:24,700 --> 00:39:28,100
They didn't get enough like leeway to be who they wanted to

921
00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:28,600
be.

922
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,100
So this was their ability to be who they wanted to be much

923
00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:36,900
like dog eat dog was supposed to be their big one after dying

924
00:39:36,900 --> 00:39:37,600
of the light.

925
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:38,100
Yeah.

926
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:38,800
Yeah.

927
00:39:38,900 --> 00:39:39,200
Okay.

928
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,100
So both of those failed.

929
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:46,200
Yeah, I mean I can see what cage was trying to do.

930
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:50,900
I just think they could have used a little extra like

931
00:39:51,100 --> 00:39:52,000
supervision.

932
00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:56,500
So just to keep him on track in this film that cage plays

933
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:57,900
not a big game hunter.

934
00:39:57,900 --> 00:40:01,500
Just he he's a an exotic game hunter exotic game hunter

935
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:04,200
like but not for killing not for killing he captured him

936
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,900
and then sells them to zoos all over the world.

937
00:40:06,900 --> 00:40:09,500
He's an unlicensed animal capture.

938
00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:10,200
Yes.

939
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,200
And that's like being a hydro ceramic engineer.

940
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,700
If you're a dishwasher and he's not good at it.

941
00:40:17,700 --> 00:40:20,400
He's in his like he's in his blind at the beginning of the

942
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:21,000
film.

943
00:40:21,300 --> 00:40:23,100
There is a poorly CG.

944
00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:29,100
Who like Jag Jag who like, you know goes for the bait which

945
00:40:29,100 --> 00:40:32,200
like tears his blind out of the thing and he has like knife

946
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:35,100
fight with the CG Panther with his with the dart.

947
00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:36,200
He was going to shoot it with.

948
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:40,000
Yeah, his knockout syringe and he falls into his own pit.

949
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:40,400
Yeah.

950
00:40:42,500 --> 00:40:46,300
Then he like he takes all his captured animals to a ship

951
00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:49,200
that's going to get him to Mexico because they're in Brazil.

952
00:40:49,500 --> 00:40:52,200
Yeah, they were in Brazil where everybody was speaking

953
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:52,800
Spanish.

954
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,200
That bugged me too.

955
00:40:56,700 --> 00:40:58,900
It bugged a lot of people on the internet as well.

956
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,800
Yeah, also Spanish there to be fair.

957
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,400
This is early enough in the movie that people probably

958
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:05,300
still cared.

959
00:41:05,300 --> 00:41:08,400
It wasn't long after this where people are like so fuck it.

960
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,800
He takes the animals and the Jag who at this point is white

961
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,800
Jag the white Jag who is the biggest thing the biggest

962
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:16,700
catcher's life.

963
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:21,000
They get him to the ship US Marshall show up with a prisoner

964
00:41:21,300 --> 00:41:27,200
on the ship and then the whole like white Jag story arc fades

965
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:32,200
away until it's necessary for a final conflict isn't Kevin

966
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:38,100
Duran kind of the white Jag he's the white Jag of my heart.

967
00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:42,500
You could have cut out that entire story arc and it would

968
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,600
have made no difference.

969
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:47,900
No, I gave him like the big waiting on that one hot off

970
00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:48,800
the presses, baby.

971
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,800
I mean the only thing that really gives him is an excuse

972
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,900
to use a fucking blowgun in the final scene.

973
00:41:55,300 --> 00:41:58,000
But other than that like none of that is certain like the

974
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,000
actual story of this movie.

975
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,200
None of this served by him the whole animal subplot.

976
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,700
Well, if it didn't have the animal subplot, why would he

977
00:42:04,700 --> 00:42:05,600
be on the boat?

978
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:09,700
You two are city kids, but you and I are our country folk.

979
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,200
So we understand these things.

980
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:15,300
So I assume I assume at some point you've hunted.

981
00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:18,000
Yeah, not very effectively.

982
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,800
I have very bad ADHD.

983
00:42:19,900 --> 00:42:20,500
That's fine.

984
00:42:20,500 --> 00:42:21,800
That's fine.

985
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,800
But I'm guessing you I'm guessing while you were trying

986
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,400
to hunt you weren't smoking a fucking cigar.

987
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:28,600
Thank you.

988
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:32,400
That shit and just like just like eating crackers out of

989
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,600
a coffee can and just being loud.

990
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:39,100
Yeah, like gin a cigar crackers just swearing like the

991
00:42:39,100 --> 00:42:43,100
first the first thing to work for the first minute of

992
00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:43,700
that movie.

993
00:42:43,700 --> 00:42:48,000
I was like, this is just some bullshit like for all of

994
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,400
the bad that was in this movie.

995
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,300
I really enjoyed the way that it was shot the way it was

996
00:42:52,300 --> 00:42:52,600
shot.

997
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:56,400
They tended to like station a lot of props in front and

998
00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:02,000
it gave it this weird like faux 3D feeling really for

999
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,500
me the like the one redeeming quality because it felt

1000
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:07,900
like that was the only intentional thing that they were

1001
00:43:07,900 --> 00:43:09,000
really doing.

1002
00:43:09,100 --> 00:43:11,600
There's one thing that carried through the whole movie

1003
00:43:11,900 --> 00:43:14,800
that fucking soda can in front of the camera.

1004
00:43:14,900 --> 00:43:16,900
Well, did anybody else actually notice that?

1005
00:43:16,900 --> 00:43:20,400
No, I was so distracted by how washed out the the

1006
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:21,900
color palette was for this movie.

1007
00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:23,500
Like I could not get over it.

1008
00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:26,600
It wasn't even washed out in a way that it was like lights

1009
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:27,700
are blowing things out.

1010
00:43:27,700 --> 00:43:29,000
It was just dull.

1011
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:33,200
It's they just all every khaki like yeah, the vast the

1012
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,700
vast majority of scenes, especially ones that would have

1013
00:43:36,700 --> 00:43:39,400
had any kind of like real action.

1014
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:44,400
The actors would have been staged behind furniture and

1015
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:45,200
things like that.

1016
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,000
So they were like really away from the camera.

1017
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,400
So it gave us like really solid depth.

1018
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:53,200
My favorite part of actually what you're talking about is

1019
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:56,200
all the fight scenes that happen like behind barrels and

1020
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,100
things where you don't see any action.

1021
00:43:59,200 --> 00:43:59,600
Oh, yeah.

1022
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,900
Well, the one actually fight scene with I love when they

1023
00:44:02,900 --> 00:44:05,200
well, I'll just I'll just fuck off then.

1024
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,600
The one real fight scene between Nicolas Cage and Kevin

1025
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:14,200
Durant is just Nick Cage is not trying at all.

1026
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,700
That was so lame.

1027
00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:17,300
Neither is Kevin Durant either.

1028
00:44:17,300 --> 00:44:19,700
It's like, okay, he shot me from this direction.

1029
00:44:19,700 --> 00:44:22,200
I'll just spray bullets reload.

1030
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,300
Oh, no, I'm talking about their actual like fight fight.

1031
00:44:24,300 --> 00:44:25,500
Oh, okay.

1032
00:44:25,500 --> 00:44:27,900
When they're like like fisticuffs and it's just like

1033
00:44:27,900 --> 00:44:29,700
Kevin Durant's like putting in the effort to like make it

1034
00:44:29,700 --> 00:44:32,300
look like he's fighting in Nick Cage is just like buckling

1035
00:44:32,300 --> 00:44:34,000
knees before anything even come close to him.

1036
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:35,200
And he's just like, I don't want to be here.

1037
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:36,500
We're going to get this one shot.

1038
00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:37,300
We're going to be done.

1039
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:41,500
To be fair by that time Nick Cage had been shot in the leg.

1040
00:44:42,100 --> 00:44:43,900
So Kevin Durant's can't do it.

1041
00:44:43,900 --> 00:44:48,500
Last time you got shot in the leg, not recently escapes

1042
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:50,400
and that is now on the ship.

1043
00:44:50,700 --> 00:44:52,000
His escape scene was great.

1044
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:53,700
His escape scene was pretty good.

1045
00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:57,500
His escape let the animals loose and stole some poisonous

1046
00:44:57,500 --> 00:45:00,900
snakes and now is systematically taking out all the US

1047
00:45:00,900 --> 00:45:02,500
Marshals and taking everyone out.

1048
00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:04,400
It's just to reclaim the ship.

1049
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:05,700
It is snakes on a boat.

1050
00:45:06,300 --> 00:45:06,900
It was.

1051
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,200
It was snakes on a boat.

1052
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:14,300
And only by technicality of there were two snakes and

1053
00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:15,500
Femke Jansen is there.

1054
00:45:15,500 --> 00:45:17,800
Any fewer snakes, it would be snake on a boat.

1055
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:21,000
Femke Jansen is there.

1056
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,100
Solely to be a woman.

1057
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,500
Like she's supposedly a doctor because of dude seizures,

1058
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:30,200
which is how he gets out of prison by faking a seizure.

1059
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,900
And this is another movie in which Nick Cage tells women

1060
00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:33,800
to shut up a lot.

1061
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,200
Yeah, and then they like need to give her more reason to

1062
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:36,600
be there.

1063
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,700
So they poison the ship's captain and the the worst kid

1064
00:45:40,700 --> 00:45:41,500
we've seen in a movie.

1065
00:45:41,500 --> 00:45:44,200
Oh, I didn't think Rafi was the worst kid.

1066
00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:45,900
He was terrible.

1067
00:45:45,900 --> 00:45:47,600
Why were you so upset with Rafi?

1068
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,600
So here's like that was out there.

1069
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,800
Okay, he's like nine.

1070
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,300
This was this was your bad takeaway.

1071
00:45:54,300 --> 00:45:56,900
I'm pretty sure they got the budget was 18 million.

1072
00:45:56,900 --> 00:45:58,500
It made 288,000.

1073
00:45:58,500 --> 00:45:59,300
Yeah, it's terrible.

1074
00:45:59,300 --> 00:46:00,600
Thank you for doing your research.

1075
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:04,400
Not only is he a terrible actor like at in the climax

1076
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,500
when there's a shootout and fucking loffler's got the kid

1077
00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:10,200
by the hair and then he has to like start shooting people.

1078
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:14,700
There's like an extended like 45 second like shootout and

1079
00:46:14,900 --> 00:46:17,300
Rafi is just standing there.

1080
00:46:17,500 --> 00:46:18,400
He's in shock.

1081
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:22,200
His dad's dying because he's been bit by one of the snakes.

1082
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:26,100
So what killed me about snakes on a boat what killed me

1083
00:46:26,100 --> 00:46:28,800
about Rafi wasn't anything like his dialogue sucks.

1084
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:29,200
It's funny.

1085
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:30,800
He's a kid like it's terrible.

1086
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,700
Nick Cage is a drunk dude on a boat talking to a kid like

1087
00:46:34,700 --> 00:46:35,800
he's going to be a dick.

1088
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:36,500
It's fine.

1089
00:46:36,900 --> 00:46:40,300
I hated his costuming so fucking much.

1090
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,100
It's like she could have afforded better clothes.

1091
00:46:43,100 --> 00:46:45,800
No, I wish that they had made him not look like if someone

1092
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,400
said draw a picture of a kid.

1093
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:53,700
He looks like he looks like Ness from Mother Earth Earth

1094
00:46:53,700 --> 00:46:56,600
man, you know, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna put the ball cap

1095
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,100
and the striped shirt on him and that's it.

1096
00:46:58,100 --> 00:47:00,100
I'm not going to click on this profile picture because this

1097
00:47:00,100 --> 00:47:04,400
profile picture literally of are you online dating right now?

1098
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:06,800
Jeremy Nazario the kid who played Rafi.

1099
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,700
I'm not going to click on the photo because this photo

1100
00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:11,200
definitely looks like it was taken during this movie.

1101
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:14,300
Yeah, and I don't want to be sad that this is his only credit

1102
00:47:14,300 --> 00:47:16,800
Rafi's such a fucking piece of shit.

1103
00:47:17,900 --> 00:47:20,800
But he's a kid like that's what kids do they have kid

1104
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:22,700
they're morons.

1105
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,000
Why didn't Frank Jansen just grab him by his scruff and

1106
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,800
tell him to sit the fuck down because she didn't have enough

1107
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:30,600
spine to do that in this movie.

1108
00:47:30,700 --> 00:47:33,000
She was worthless.

1109
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:35,000
Her character was really limited.

1110
00:47:35,300 --> 00:47:39,600
I have to assume just for the storyline to let Nick Cage's

1111
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:44,000
Frank Walsh who is a nothing carrot who was a nothing

1112
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,800
character like this is but like at some point at some point

1113
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:52,400
you got it like she provided in his best in his best moments

1114
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:56,000
when he finally like decided to stop being a shit head and

1115
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:56,900
do something.

1116
00:47:57,300 --> 00:48:01,500
He basically became like Kevin Costner in a baseball movie.

1117
00:48:03,500 --> 00:48:07,000
No, just so I know I have a bit of a love affair with Red

1118
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,200
Rock West Jean Grey.

1119
00:48:08,300 --> 00:48:09,700
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

1120
00:48:09,700 --> 00:48:10,400
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

1121
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:14,200
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

1122
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:14,500
no.

1123
00:48:14,500 --> 00:48:19,000
Like it's like Nick Cage plays a dude who's now in a shitty

1124
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:22,600
situation and he has to like generic tough guy is way out

1125
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:26,200
of it and that's what this movie is trying to be and fails on

1126
00:48:26,300 --> 00:48:27,300
every level.

1127
00:48:27,300 --> 00:48:28,600
He is nothing in this film.

1128
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:31,400
This is the only time I've seen them in a movie where I'm just

1129
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,300
like I don't buy any of this.

1130
00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:37,200
You don't buy any of us and it's frustrating because this is

1131
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000
right at that kind of start.

1132
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,660
into that third wave cage.

1133
00:48:41,660 --> 00:48:43,800
And this is just awful.

1134
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,860
I think the movie just didn't do a super good job

1135
00:48:47,860 --> 00:48:49,660
of selling us what he is.

1136
00:48:49,660 --> 00:48:52,440
He's just, I mean, kind of a shithead.

1137
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,080
And I've known plenty of people just like him.

1138
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,480
And I can look at him and be like, oh, yeah.

1139
00:48:58,620 --> 00:49:02,140
Because I don't know, I think there's a character there.

1140
00:49:02,140 --> 00:49:05,960
I think the movie didn't really do us any favors.

1141
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,960
Oh, this whole this whole movie was just like,

1142
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:12,000
this is a long episode of Bird Notice.

1143
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,760
This is a this is a USA movie.

1144
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:16,340
So actually, network movie.

1145
00:49:16,340 --> 00:49:19,000
Actually, one of my biggest issues with this movie

1146
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:23,240
was feeling like the idea had a lot of legs.

1147
00:49:24,180 --> 00:49:27,220
The script was how many legs fucking garbage for white

1148
00:49:27,220 --> 00:49:28,620
jacks got really OK.

1149
00:49:28,620 --> 00:49:30,480
You think of this as like at least six.

1150
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:33,620
You think of this as like a late 80s, early 90s

1151
00:49:33,620 --> 00:49:34,720
Schwarzenegger film.

1152
00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:36,460
It would have been awesome.

1153
00:49:36,460 --> 00:49:38,100
There was a lot of potential for this.

1154
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:39,600
And they just fucked off with it.

1155
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:42,020
I keep forgetting that there's a white

1156
00:49:42,020 --> 00:49:45,140
jag in this film and the writers do, too.

1157
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,860
Oh, it shows up every time they need some kind of.

1158
00:49:48,860 --> 00:49:51,780
It's just a mind to mind you that the white jags in this film.

1159
00:49:51,780 --> 00:49:55,940
Well, no, to like, you know, keep Nick Cage's like attention split.

1160
00:49:55,940 --> 00:49:59,480
I think the big thing for me is that like in a Schwarzenegger

1161
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,780
version of this movie in 1995,

1162
00:50:03,240 --> 00:50:07,460
he would have been a hero character even if he's a flawed hero.

1163
00:50:07,460 --> 00:50:10,820
Yeah. And and Nick Cage's character in interviews, he was like,

1164
00:50:10,820 --> 00:50:12,200
No, I play a bad guy.

1165
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:13,860
Like, I'm a I'm a pretty shitty guy.

1166
00:50:13,860 --> 00:50:16,700
Like, yeah, I'm kind of a poacher, but not quite.

1167
00:50:16,700 --> 00:50:18,440
But I'm still pretty bad.

1168
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:23,740
It's like he's designed to be unlikable and performed as unlikable.

1169
00:50:23,740 --> 00:50:26,200
Yeah. And I give him credit for that.

1170
00:50:26,780 --> 00:50:29,740
I I I think it was poorly written in that in that way.

1171
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:31,780
And also, also have been fun.

1172
00:50:31,780 --> 00:50:36,480
But but to Sean's point, the main storyline was this

1173
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:41,520
this military assassin that defects breaks out of a cage on a boat.

1174
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:45,760
Like they set it up that this this white jag, the super rare animal,

1175
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:49,060
is going to be an integral part of the story that had nothing to do with it.

1176
00:50:49,060 --> 00:50:51,860
Yeah. It's really just there to kill the guy at the end of the film.

1177
00:50:51,860 --> 00:50:56,640
Where I felt like I was left short with this movie was the Loeffler character.

1178
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:59,840
Like that origin story would be really interesting.

1179
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:03,480
The Frank Walsh character also really, really interesting.

1180
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:06,240
And they didn't really give us either one of those.

1181
00:51:06,240 --> 00:51:09,640
No, they just sort of were like, here's two characters.

1182
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:13,080
We're going to give you sort of a brief synopsis of how they're terrible.

1183
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,080
And then they have to fight on a boat.

1184
00:51:15,380 --> 00:51:19,520
I do feel like there's a lot of potential in this script,

1185
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:23,960
but this was meant to be a quick 97 minute movie.

1186
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:25,020
Let's make some money.

1187
00:51:25,020 --> 00:51:28,800
They did. It turns out they lost a lot of money.

1188
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:33,300
I would I thought that that Kevin Durant did a fantastic job.

1189
00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:35,240
A fantastic job of playing Loeffler.

1190
00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:40,700
He was very convincing as like a fucked up assassin that did not give a shit.

1191
00:51:41,380 --> 00:51:46,220
He just wanted to get back to like the South American jungle and assassinate people

1192
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,760
that that felt that that he did a great job.

1193
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:51,880
Go with what you do with your love and you never work.

1194
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,920
I I would. I.

1195
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:59,120
OK, I just love killing people in South Africa.

1196
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,360
He was he was spectacular.

1197
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,900
Really stand by his performance in that I would have liked to have learned

1198
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:06,700
more about that character.

1199
00:52:06,700 --> 00:52:09,440
Frank Walsh actually is an interesting character to me.

1200
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:13,780
And they just sort of made him like a cheap dime store bad guy.

1201
00:52:14,100 --> 00:52:16,240
They was like, Oh, got some animals.

1202
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:20,380
I got to I got to get him to Mexico or wherever he was going.

1203
00:52:20,380 --> 00:52:22,320
I got to get him to Mexico. Yeah.

1204
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:25,180
And then fucking Jean Grey.

1205
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:27,220
Jen Kajanski. Yeah.

1206
00:52:27,220 --> 00:52:30,620
Like her her weird ass little flip at the end

1207
00:52:30,620 --> 00:52:32,760
was so predictable and stupid.

1208
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:36,260
I want to talk about her at the end when Nick Cage is like,

1209
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:39,260
I need you to go down and draw him out.

1210
00:52:39,340 --> 00:52:42,740
So go down to the galley and like make a bunch of noise.

1211
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,400
OK, how will I know where you are?

1212
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,740
You won't. You've just got to trust me.

1213
00:52:47,740 --> 00:52:49,680
Yeah. Going back to National Treasure.

1214
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:51,520
And then you got to trust me.

1215
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:54,880
When I'm about to throw you onto a giant wooden platform to your death.

1216
00:52:55,020 --> 00:52:58,060
But it's not like count to 300 and start.

1217
00:52:58,060 --> 00:53:01,720
It's just like, I don't know, fucking get out there and make some noise

1218
00:53:01,860 --> 00:53:04,320
and pray to God that I'm in a good spot.

1219
00:53:04,620 --> 00:53:09,000
Again, in terms of poor editing, he puts Scuddy in his room.

1220
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,300
Scuddy being the engineer of the ship.

1221
00:53:11,300 --> 00:53:13,260
I liked that. I like Scuddy.

1222
00:53:13,260 --> 00:53:14,300
I like that character.

1223
00:53:14,300 --> 00:53:17,980
But like so but that dude was just smoking cigarettes at a diesel room.

1224
00:53:17,980 --> 00:53:20,980
When when Nick Cage finally decides he's going to hunt.

1225
00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:22,540
I'll tell you this.

1226
00:53:22,540 --> 00:53:25,940
That's OK, because diesel is actually only flammable

1227
00:53:25,940 --> 00:53:28,180
and it's pressurized, like atomized.

1228
00:53:28,180 --> 00:53:33,060
You could throw a cigarette and just like a open bucket of diesel

1229
00:53:33,060 --> 00:53:35,060
and it wouldn't diesel facts.

1230
00:53:35,060 --> 00:53:37,620
So you don't smoke the right cigarettes.

1231
00:53:37,620 --> 00:53:40,400
When Nick Cage is going to hunt, finally goes to decide he's going to.

1232
00:53:40,660 --> 00:53:42,260
He's going to go on the hunt for Durant.

1233
00:53:42,260 --> 00:53:46,060
He goes into his cabin, pulls out like a compound, like bow.

1234
00:53:46,100 --> 00:53:48,300
I'm like, where the fuck is that in this whole movie?

1235
00:53:48,940 --> 00:53:51,100
Also, I see why you're not allowed to have guns on ships

1236
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,380
because everyone dies real dumbly in this film.

1237
00:53:54,380 --> 00:53:57,980
Yeah, they like the US marshals are terrible in this movie.

1238
00:53:58,980 --> 00:54:01,060
Cops are bad. Cops are bad.

1239
00:54:01,420 --> 00:54:03,660
To be fair, they are only US marshals.

1240
00:54:03,660 --> 00:54:04,900
I do. I do.

1241
00:54:04,900 --> 00:54:07,260
Like Jason people are like, I'm out.

1242
00:54:07,260 --> 00:54:09,660
I'm out. I'm in water and I need help.

1243
00:54:09,660 --> 00:54:11,700
I do have questions. Coast Guard.

1244
00:54:11,700 --> 00:54:14,600
I do have questions about like the guy leading the US marshals

1245
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:17,840
after like Durant escaped and they've like had a few failed attempts

1246
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:18,500
of capturing him.

1247
00:54:18,500 --> 00:54:21,180
It's like until we capture him, I'm the captain.

1248
00:54:21,180 --> 00:54:23,540
Pretty sure that's not how captaining works.

1249
00:54:23,540 --> 00:54:30,320
And then especially in like non-American waters.

1250
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,820
And then Walsh is just like, well, I don't have to do what you say.

1251
00:54:32,820 --> 00:54:35,920
It's like, well, if you don't, I'm going to bring you up on treason

1252
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:38,260
or whatever else or no mutiny or whatever else I can.

1253
00:54:38,260 --> 00:54:40,620
I'm like, again, you're not the captain.

1254
00:54:40,620 --> 00:54:41,460
This isn't your ship.

1255
00:54:41,460 --> 00:54:44,540
He's not part of the crew and he's not part of the crew.

1256
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:49,640
I did look up the writer of this script and did more work than I did.

1257
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:52,740
I can't off the top of my head name any of his other movies.

1258
00:54:52,740 --> 00:54:57,700
He has written quite a few and they're all kind of this about this.

1259
00:54:57,700 --> 00:54:59,780
Yeah. Is he a white jag?

1260
00:55:01,540 --> 00:55:02,380
White jag.

1261
00:55:02,380 --> 00:55:05,780
White jag on a typewriter writing stories.

1262
00:55:05,780 --> 00:55:07,780
Like, I just have my best.

1263
00:55:07,780 --> 00:55:10,380
There's going to be a fucking MacGuffin in this movie and it's a.

1264
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,160
His name is his name is Hunter Jag.

1265
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,520
He's white and he played lacrosse at Duke.

1266
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:18,560
I just had my best joke this whole podcast and you all talked over it.

1267
00:55:19,020 --> 00:55:20,120
You can do it now.

1268
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:21,560
No, it's not worth it.

1269
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:22,800
The moment's gone.

1270
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:24,140
You can save it.

1271
00:55:24,140 --> 00:55:24,940
Save it for next.

1272
00:55:24,940 --> 00:55:27,440
I say it was a white jag off.

1273
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:29,600
Oh, that was your best joke.

1274
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:32,400
You claim to that as your top achievement.

1275
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:35,240
Call the shot. Yeah.

1276
00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:37,280
He's like, he points for outfield.

1277
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:39,380
It's a grounder to third.

1278
00:55:39,380 --> 00:55:41,140
All right. So good cage. Good movie.

1279
00:55:41,140 --> 00:55:44,220
Bad cage. Bad, bad cage. Bad movie is my is my.

1280
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:46,880
Couldn't even get through the whole thing.

1281
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:49,220
No, just just reuse what I.

1282
00:55:49,220 --> 00:55:51,400
OK, I'm going to go first.

1283
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:53,420
It was bad cage and bad movie.

1284
00:55:53,420 --> 00:55:56,100
And the thing is, I'm pretty sure I want I would never

1285
00:55:56,660 --> 00:56:00,700
ever recommend anybody watch it, but I really enjoyed my time with it.

1286
00:56:01,660 --> 00:56:04,400
I say bad cage, bad movie, and I wouldn't change a thing.

1287
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,280
Yeah, I'm fully with you guys.

1288
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:10,980
I think this was a a enjoyable, stupid fucking waste of time.

1289
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:13,640
I watched it on double speed and it was fantastic.

1290
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:17,220
I love myself every.

1291
00:56:17,220 --> 00:56:20,260
Morning, I say original show,

1292
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,200
and that's what this movie is.

1293
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:24,600
It's an episode of Burn Notice.

1294
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:25,660
It's an episode of Monk.

1295
00:56:25,660 --> 00:56:28,240
It's an episode of Psych, and I love it for that.

1296
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:34,680
But it is awful and probably I'm putting this in one of the worst cage

1297
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:36,480
performances of this podcast.

1298
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:40,820
Going back, I probably hadn't watched National Treasure for a couple of years,

1299
00:56:40,820 --> 00:56:42,880
which is rare for me because I'm watching all the time.

1300
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:46,380
You have a tattoo and you have Nick Cage.

1301
00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:47,320
But you can't see it.

1302
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:48,360
Full on his back.

1303
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:50,420
You got to rub it with lemons.

1304
00:56:50,420 --> 00:56:52,860
Back piece of him on the fucking torch.

1305
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:57,060
I thought like I really thought I was going to go into this being like, OK,

1306
00:56:57,060 --> 00:57:00,700
primal is going to be the one for me that I think should go through.

1307
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:04,500
Oh, it's not.

1308
00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:08,140
I love it, but it's.

1309
00:57:08,140 --> 00:57:10,640
I love scenes of it as a whole, though.

1310
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:13,220
I fucking needed to stop a lot.

1311
00:57:13,220 --> 00:57:16,320
Oh, yeah, do we have a does anyone have a quote for this film?

1312
00:57:17,020 --> 00:57:19,320
I have one. I have.

1313
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,020
Um, I have one as I don't know.

1314
00:57:21,020 --> 00:57:24,800
I don't I want to do it justice, and I don't think I'm going to be able to.

1315
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:29,740
Rafi was asking about Nick Cage's pet parrot

1316
00:57:29,740 --> 00:57:33,000
because that was a weird Aladdin thing going on.

1317
00:57:33,500 --> 00:57:37,480
And he was like, Oh, yeah, he's a real regular Einstein.

1318
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:38,880
Oh, that was that was mine.

1319
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:41,480
That's right. Regular Einstein.

1320
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,540
Yeah, it was a little lispier than that.

1321
00:57:43,540 --> 00:57:45,440
Yeah. Einstein.

1322
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:47,540
Like because he was just always drunk.

1323
00:57:47,540 --> 00:57:51,620
John, John, John and I had to pause the movie at that point.

1324
00:57:51,860 --> 00:57:53,760
And we're only like 10 minutes in.

1325
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:57,960
My other one was when they're on the ship and after Durant gets out

1326
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:01,160
and he starts like breaking shit, Nick Cage starts turning on faucets

1327
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:02,060
and no water is coming out.

1328
00:58:02,060 --> 00:58:04,540
He's like calling like, you know, there's no water.

1329
00:58:04,860 --> 00:58:06,960
Well, how do you know?

1330
00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:11,900
I know who a fucking faucet works, you damn federal clown.

1331
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:14,500
What do you have, Nick?

1332
00:58:14,500 --> 00:58:16,880
Mine was the water thing.

1333
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:18,180
No, it's OK.

1334
00:58:19,340 --> 00:58:22,140
I could also just go with touch my cat.

1335
00:58:22,140 --> 00:58:24,420
I'll blow your head off. That was mine.

1336
00:58:24,420 --> 00:58:26,280
Great. So we just did a little steal around.

1337
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:27,680
Yeah. OK.

1338
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:31,160
So how about we just do this all again?

1339
00:58:31,420 --> 00:58:32,960
Adam just doesn't get a quote.

1340
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,120
That's it. There we go.

1341
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:35,900
Come on, guys.

1342
00:58:35,900 --> 00:58:38,700
All right. So what moves forward?

1343
00:58:38,700 --> 00:58:40,760
Primal. You're wrong.

1344
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,900
No. And I know it's fucking national treasure.

1345
00:58:43,900 --> 00:58:46,700
It is not. I'm not going to sit through two hours

1346
00:58:46,700 --> 00:58:49,140
and 15 minutes of national treasure again.

1347
00:58:49,140 --> 00:58:52,220
It's it's a more it's a better it's a more fun film.

1348
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:54,140
No, it's not a more fun film.

1349
00:58:54,140 --> 00:58:55,740
It is a longer film.

1350
00:58:55,740 --> 00:58:58,780
And it is a film. Primal is bad.

1351
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:00,460
Yeah. And it's enjoyably bad.

1352
00:59:00,460 --> 00:59:02,660
It's not. Nick Cage is terrible in this film.

1353
00:59:02,860 --> 00:59:05,220
And this is a podcast about the best Nick Cage film.

1354
00:59:05,220 --> 00:59:06,500
And this is his worst performance.

1355
00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:07,820
It's not primal.

1356
00:59:07,820 --> 00:59:10,860
National Treasure is forgettably Nicholas Cage.

1357
00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:13,840
I don't care. It's no, it's it's got to be.

1358
00:59:14,300 --> 00:59:15,340
It's not.

1359
00:59:15,900 --> 00:59:19,300
You've got a movie that moves at a better clip.

1360
00:59:19,780 --> 00:59:22,780
It has more Nicholas Cage energy.

1361
00:59:22,780 --> 00:59:25,580
That clip. It's entertaining for what it is.

1362
00:59:25,980 --> 00:59:29,340
I found more entertainment from watching this movie

1363
00:59:29,540 --> 00:59:32,960
than I will ever find from watching National Treasure.

1364
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:35,120
And National Treasure was fine.

1365
00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:37,200
OK, here's how I approach it.

1366
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,560
I've got two movies and I've got a buddy coming over

1367
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,300
and we're going to have a couple of beers and watch a movie.

1368
00:59:43,900 --> 00:59:45,900
Am I going to say, hey, man,

1369
00:59:45,900 --> 00:59:48,860
want to sit down for two hours and 15 fucking minutes

1370
00:59:48,860 --> 00:59:51,940
holding hands and watching National Treasure?

1371
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:53,740
We're going to have to cut some.

1372
00:59:53,740 --> 00:59:54,840
Do you want to sit down?

1373
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:56,520
You put magnets in Pete's belly.

1374
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:58,120
Ninety seven minutes.

1375
00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:01,640
Hold hands and watch Primal, which is fucking weird as shit.

1376
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:04,380
And we're going to have a lot more fun.

1377
01:00:04,380 --> 01:00:07,180
I didn't have I didn't have more fun with that.

1378
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:10,160
That's because you watched it alone.

1379
01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:12,120
You need someone to hold a hand with.

1380
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:15,800
And next on the next round, we can hold hands while we watch it together.

1381
01:00:15,820 --> 01:00:18,040
I would enjoy that. But we're not watching Primal again.

1382
01:00:18,060 --> 01:00:19,700
Well, we're not watching National Treasure.

1383
01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:21,360
So I guess we skipped this.

1384
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:22,800
No, I think this is the rare.

1385
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:25,880
This is the first time we'll ever have to go to a tiebreaker.

1386
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:28,280
I'm not prepared for this shit.

1387
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:30,280
Yeah, well, it's fucking on you, buddy.

1388
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:36,480
We'll do 60 seconds each arguing our case to me uninterrupted.

1389
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:37,540
So you can't trump it.

1390
01:00:37,540 --> 01:00:39,120
You can't fucking talk over it.

1391
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:40,420
I fucking don't.

1392
01:00:40,420 --> 01:00:45,820
Yeah, OK. And then Peter will decide who goes on.

1393
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,320
Prepare your case. Go.

1394
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:55,600
All right. So I think Primal should win because it's the more

1395
01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:00,040
just, I don't know, unconventional.

1396
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:01,940
Conventional character.

1397
01:01:01,940 --> 01:01:06,480
He's got more just like wacky line delivery.

1398
01:01:06,820 --> 01:01:11,520
You get to see Nicolas Cage just work against his normal

1399
01:01:13,620 --> 01:01:16,060
like film repertoire.

1400
01:01:16,060 --> 01:01:20,120
And he says things about fucking faucets.

1401
01:01:21,060 --> 01:01:23,160
Sean. Proceed.

1402
01:01:24,100 --> 01:01:25,940
Nick Cage sleeps his way through Primal.

1403
01:01:25,940 --> 01:01:27,400
It's not a good performance.

1404
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:29,340
It's not a good Nick Cage role.

1405
01:01:29,340 --> 01:01:33,280
And ultimately, we're here to figure out what the best Nick Cage movie is.

1406
01:01:33,340 --> 01:01:36,200
And it's national treasure beats Primal.

1407
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,080
Primal forgets its own subplot.

1408
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,280
There's he's not even the main character.

1409
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:44,520
And yeah, he plays off type, but it's not an interesting type.

1410
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:46,480
And he clearly doesn't care about the role.

1411
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:49,120
It needs to be national treasure.

1412
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:50,820
OK, I want to rebuttal real quick.

1413
01:01:50,820 --> 01:01:53,160
What? No, I can't change the rules.

1414
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:55,220
No, every debate has rebuttals.

1415
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:58,660
And I'm just going to say really quickly,

1416
01:01:58,660 --> 01:02:00,760
you didn't even talk about your movie.

1417
01:02:01,060 --> 01:02:03,900
You spent your time talking about Primal.

1418
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:07,740
It's obviously the more talkable movie.

1419
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:10,580
You can't even defend national treasure

1420
01:02:10,940 --> 01:02:13,240
because you're too busy talking about Primal.

1421
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:16,420
I was talking about how much you talked about Primal.

1422
01:02:16,820 --> 01:02:17,420
All right. Crossed.

1423
01:02:17,420 --> 01:02:20,820
You literally didn't say anything about national treasure.

1424
01:02:21,380 --> 01:02:24,160
I said it was the better role.

1425
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:28,780
Yes. OK, yes, it's longer, but it's not worse because it's longer.

1426
01:02:28,780 --> 01:02:32,320
But you're going to have to watch it again and it's going to go against the rock.

1427
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:34,320
Save yourself some time in the future.

1428
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:37,960
Peter, my ruling national treasure.

1429
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:39,660
Thank you. Sorry, Nick.

1430
01:02:39,660 --> 01:02:41,160
It's a poor choice.

1431
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:42,700
I don't disagree with you.

1432
01:02:42,700 --> 01:02:46,400
And I think both of these are set up for massive failure against the rock.

1433
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:51,580
But I liked his effort more in national treasure.

1434
01:02:51,580 --> 01:02:56,380
I think Primal ultimately is a movie that I think could have been TV episode,

1435
01:02:56,380 --> 01:02:58,120
and I would have been fine with that.

1436
01:02:58,120 --> 01:03:02,260
Like, give me that in 40 minutes and I'm fucking on.

1437
01:03:02,260 --> 01:03:05,260
But yeah, you're all going to regret this.

1438
01:03:05,260 --> 01:03:07,760
I'm just going to vote for Primal next time anyways,

1439
01:03:08,900 --> 01:03:10,900
because I'm a bad loser.

1440
01:03:12,900 --> 01:03:14,100
I love a good poor sport.

1441
01:03:14,100 --> 01:03:15,800
Yeah. So is Kevin Durant.

1442
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:20,000
You know, I don't it's not like I bring up the fact that I have to watch Army of One Day.

1443
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,940
It's the fact that I have to watch Army of One every episode.

1444
01:03:22,940 --> 01:03:24,280
Yeah. Oh, there it is.

1445
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:25,980
Got it in this time.

1446
01:03:25,980 --> 01:03:26,740
Right at the end.

1447
01:03:26,740 --> 01:03:29,680
I was afraid you weren't going to mention that.

1448
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:32,480
Still a more cagey movie, just like Primal.

1449
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:34,080
A bad movie can be good.

1450
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:35,060
It's the cost of your life.

1451
01:03:35,060 --> 01:03:36,560
Two wrongs can make a right.

1452
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:38,120
Just fucking kiss me, big boy.

1453
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:39,620
It's just not this film.

1454
01:03:39,620 --> 01:03:40,660
All right.

1455
01:03:40,660 --> 01:03:42,000
National Treasure is the better movie.

1456
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:43,900
If that's the one I'm suggesting to people, it's National Treasure.

1457
01:03:43,900 --> 01:03:44,660
I disagree.

1458
01:03:44,660 --> 01:03:49,360
I've watched them both three times and this week.

1459
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:54,400
I'm going to continue to watch Primal because it is honestly it's just a bad movie.

1460
01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:58,680
Fun. It's a good movie to watch when you want to watch a bad movie.

1461
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:03,180
And it's got Nicolas Cage and he's surly.

1462
01:04:03,180 --> 01:04:05,680
He gives like a shit performance.

1463
01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:08,180
And honestly, I find that enjoyable.

1464
01:04:08,180 --> 01:04:10,020
I expect more from Cage.

1465
01:04:10,020 --> 01:04:11,080
I am at this point.

1466
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:12,820
I am watching Nicolas Cage.

1467
01:04:12,820 --> 01:04:14,820
What's that? I am, though.

1468
01:04:14,820 --> 01:04:16,300
That's kind of the whole point of this.

1469
01:04:16,300 --> 01:04:23,260
It's like that it was like that that restaurant in St. Louis where their waiters are meant to be rude to you.

1470
01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:27,100
Oh, God. Yeah, we saw a place like that in Vegas.

1471
01:04:27,100 --> 01:04:29,940
That's Johnny Dickholes.

1472
01:04:29,940 --> 01:04:31,880
Johnny Johnny Dickholes.

1473
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:36,080
He he was trained by that waitstaff.

1474
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:40,380
Well, everyone here, Johnny Dickholes, please rate, review and subscribe.

1475
01:04:40,380 --> 01:04:41,860
Thank you guys for having me again.

1476
01:04:41,860 --> 01:04:42,880
This was a lot of fun.

1477
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:43,820
Oh, you're still here. Yeah.

1478
01:04:43,820 --> 01:04:45,620
Welcome back. Jesus Christ.

1479
01:04:45,620 --> 01:04:47,920
Love you, Adam. Thank you for coming.

1480
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:49,120
I had a really good time.

1481
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:53,560
Thank you for letting me have an excuse to watch that fucking movie.

1482
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:58,100
Yeah, you can also support us on Patreon at Patreon.com slash Cage Match.

1483
01:04:58,100 --> 01:05:04,440
Also, special thanks to all of our Sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt and Adam.

1484
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:09,380
And for our Cage dancers, Ira and John, thank you for your support.

1485
01:05:09,380 --> 01:05:15,420
Or on Reddit if you want to chat with us or yell at us for our dumb shit at Cage Match Pod.

1486
01:05:15,420 --> 01:05:19,320
Whoever keeps thumbs downing our stuff on Reddit, fuck off.

1487
01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:23,160
Or keep it up. Yeah, no, I like the conflict.

1488
01:05:23,160 --> 01:05:28,400
And I've got all these fucking exotic animals I bought for apparently no goddamn reason.

1489
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:30,240
We'll give you one percent.

1490
01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:32,640
You can have them.

1491
01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:46,060
Thought it was going to be a good season two bit.

1492
01:05:46,060 --> 01:05:46,980
Just saying.

1493
01:05:46,980 --> 01:05:56,420
President Levin Diesel has recruited Zachary Levi into his gang, people who don't like the Rock.

1494
01:05:56,420 --> 01:05:57,400
Oh, that's great.

1495
01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:05,180
I always out there like practicing like gang moves like sweet like a gang move,

1496
01:06:05,180 --> 01:06:09,780
you know, like dance moves on the pick up basketball court.

1497
01:06:09,780 --> 01:06:16,220
Yeah, it's just West Side Story.

1498
01:06:16,220 --> 01:06:17,660
What was the name of the kid in the other movie?

1499
01:06:17,660 --> 01:06:19,220
Something Gomez?

1500
01:06:19,220 --> 01:06:20,720
Yeah, Hunter Gomez.

1501
01:06:20,720 --> 01:06:21,900
There we go.

1502
01:06:21,900 --> 01:06:24,620
Oh, man, that's a name Republicans would hate.

1503
01:06:24,620 --> 01:06:26,340
Hunter Gomez. Hunter Gomez.

1504
01:06:26,340 --> 01:06:29,600
Yeah, they're two least favorite things.

1505
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:31,040
You better not own a laptop place.

1506
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:34,500
The Mexican form of lacrosse.

1507
01:06:34,500 --> 01:06:37,980
Oh, God, I hope the most dangerous game of all.

1508
01:06:37,980 --> 01:06:39,320
That can't go.

1509
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:42,640
They can't go on the finished.

1510
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:43,780
Peter's still recording.

1511
01:06:43,780 --> 01:06:46,220
Who knows what he's going to find?

1512
01:06:46,220 --> 01:06:57,340
All gold.