Oh god. Oh my god.
Fuck!
Hey, we saw his dick this time though.
It was a stunt dick.
Oh, boo.
That was 100% not Nick Cage.
Boo.
Which one?
In City of Angels.
Oh yeah.
Welcome back to...
He takes that very hot shower.
Oh, oh you're talking about the shower.
No, there was definitely a modesty sock.
I told... I...
Stopped it. He paused it.
Enhance.
How else are you going to find a replicant
unless you're looking at their dick?
That's true.
Yeah.
I always look for their like backs
glowing after I have sex with them.
Oh wait, no, that's a Cylon.
Wait, don't you ask them like turtle questions?
Isn't that the trick?
Yeah.
Which Ninja Turtle is your favorite?
Donatello.
Cylon.
This is the weirdest
welcome back to Cage match
colon around about way of meeting Nicholas Cage.
But I didn't see a better...
a better way for us to do this.
Welcome back to our Nicholas Cage podcast.
I am Sean,
here with my co-host,
and I'm Nick,
and our producer.
Hi, I'm Peter.
And we talk about Nicholas Cage films
for reasons that have not been explained to me.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
The concept of this podcast
is that Nick and Sean are going to evaluate
64 Nicholas Cage movies
head-to-head,
bracket style,
to determine the best,
most cagey,
most enjoyable Nick Cage film
at the end of this entire process.
Yeah?
Yeah.
That'll be next year.
Oh God, yeah.
No, it's a...
we're a ways off.
We'll see you in 2025, Nick Cage.
I will say, the more we get into this
the more we keep finding
interesting films we've never heard of
that don't technically star Nick Cage,
I'm regretting not putting Kick Ass on the list.
I know.
I do feel kind of bad
in that regard.
Like, there are some pretty amazing
auxiliary Cage movies.
In our defense, we attempted to find films
that like, star to Nick Cage,
and are finding through the course of history
that his name has been retroactively added to things
as a starring role.
Yeah, that's definitely the case.
I mean, I think with these two movies,
you could make a case that he kind of
steals one of them,
and definitely is the main actor in the other one.
Yes.
I mean, he did get the and credit on
Kiss of Dread.
Everybody alphabetically.
Yeah.
And Nick Cage.
So this week...
Because even his name defies order.
That is actually something I want to talk about this week.
His name?
Him defying order.
Nicholas.
That's a good name.
A fine name, strong,
upstanding.
Yeah, law-abiding.
Gurfy.
A meaty dork of a name.
Yeah, dude.
You guys say I'm bad at segues.
This week, we are talking about...
Oh, yeah, you couldn't even segue out of that.
What a loser.
City of Angels, everyone's favorite movie
about God and angels.
We're going to talk about God and angels this week.
We already bumped into
we already bumped left behind, didn't we?
Yeah, we did.
Yeah.
These two should have been together.
Because there is not...
They will be in the end.
There's not...
There's not a through line for these two films.
So we're doing City of Angels and Kiss of Death,
a movie I've honestly never heard of.
Yeah, I don't think anyone actually heard of Kiss of Death,
which is shocking given the amount of like...
The star power.
...talent in there.
It's got a lot of people in it.
All right.
Well, let's start there.
Kiss of Death.
What year did this come out?
95.
95. It was filmed in 94.
All right.
So, yeah.
I'm going no notes on this.
So, yeah, let's see what happens.
Who was the director?
Dude.
Yeah, you got it.
I think he was Swedish.
It was Barbay Schroeder.
Yeah, he's like a Swedish-American or something like that.
The set designer was named Mel Bourne.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
That's pretty good.
I thought that was funny.
Nick Cage is the and of this film and Nick Cage.
So he's not the star.
This film stars David Caruso.
And this was his like jumping off point
to try and start a legit film career.
Left NYPD Blue for this thing.
He did.
Run through the main people in this movie
because it's pretty fucking amazing.
David Caruso, Nicholas Cage, Samuel L. Jackson, Stanley Tucci.
We got the return of the Tucci.
And Hot Mean Tucci too.
Hot Mean Tucci, Michael Rapoport, creepy Michael Rapoport,
young Michael Rapoport.
I like saying Rapoport.
Ving Rhames.
Have you ever watched those videos Michael Rapoport does online
where he's like got that really ugly cat?
Yes.
And he's just like, come look, that cat's back.
That fucking cat.
That's a good Rapoport.
Are you shocked that Nick does a good Rapoport?
No, I shouldn't be at this point.
Philip Baker Hall, Helen Hunt.
And this is a throwaway role, but I just find it fascinating.
And I want to talk about this with you guys.
Hope Davis.
So this was one of Hope Davis's first film roles.
Hope Davis is my weird celebrity crush.
Who's Hope Davis?
She was a junior Brown's girlfriend.
Little junior Brown's girlfriend.
Oh, the one he bench presses.
Yeah.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, I got it.
Yeah.
And then she's the one who like.
The one who calls him a slur.
Distracts the feds to kidnap the baby or the little girl.
What was yours, Peter?
OK, so my favorite one is Kevin Corrigan, who is.
I didn't know you had a crush on Kevin Corrigan.
Oh, of course.
No, I love Kevin Corrigan.
I think his acting career is exactly what I would want from an acting career.
It's like you're never really the main star, but you're in everything
and you're always kind of a shitty slimeball.
He's the guy that's selling him the Infinity.
And like that guy, it's like he's got like a cool diverse background.
But like if you need an Italian who's sleazy, Kevin Corrigan,
if you need a Puerto Rican who's sleazy, Kevin Corrigan,
if you need an Irishman who's sleazy, Kevin Corrigan, it fucking rules.
That guy is perfect for being a shitty sleazy dude.
Nick, what weird celebrity crush do you have in this film?
Michael Rapoport.
Yeah, Rapoport.
Just really got me there.
So yeah, Nick, what's this movie about?
So this movie is about Caruso's dude who.
Jimmy Kilmartin.
Yeah, who is trying to go on the straight and narrow.
He used to boost cars and he gets pulled back into the scene
by his cousin played by Michael Rapoport.
Ronnie Gannon.
Like a real piece of shit.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's fucking terrible.
That's what makes it so hot.
They get like pinched on a job trying to steal like four transport trucks
of vehicles.
I mean, it would have been fine if they staggered it.
I'm sure. Why the fuck did they just like four of them in a row
riding down because they were running late?
Yeah, they were working for Nicolas Cage.
Yeah. OK.
Fucking bad little a little little Junior Brown.
Yeah. But I do like that.
He teaches us what an acronym is.
That is the son of Big Junior Brown.
Yeah. Credited Big Junior Brown.
And who played him again?
That was a name.
So to look bigger. Oh, yeah.
That was great.
Yeah, I like him as an actor just in general.
He played a good shitty old man.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, he didn't have to do much.
He just kind of looked around and sneered and stuff.
So but he gets pinched boost in, you know, these transport trucks of cars
and gets what three years in jail finds out like what Michael Rapoport
like tried to bang his wife and stuff while he was in jail and his wife died.
And so like he thinks that Rapoport like boned his wife and then she died
because of it.
And so he puts into action this plan that gets Rapoport killed by giving
up information on himself and a couple other jobs and makes it all look
like Ronnie was a snitch.
So Little Junior, Junior Little Junior Brown has him killed and then he
does the murder.
Yeah, Big Junior has him killed Little Junior punches his face.
That's fair.
Then when David Caruso gets out of jail, the DA Tucci is like leaning
on him and has him go undercover with a wire to find more information
about Little Junior Brown and this guy Omar played by Ving Rhames that
gets him mixed up in all sorts of crazy shenanigans.
Eventually he has to get his way out and that I guess results in Nick
Cage dying and like gunfights and stuff.
I think there was a car jump too.
Okay.
Well, wait, did Cage die?
No, he didn't.
Half of that was fake.
Did you watch this movie?
I watched it twice.
It's fair.
It's got a lot of nothing.
Oh, I mean, it's got more than nothing.
No, it's I actually thoroughly enjoyed the film, but I like a caper.
No, I thought this movie was fun.
I really enjoyed Nick Cage as a heel.
Yeah, we never seen a cage as the bad guy.
Yeah, good antagonist energy in this.
His first scene there when Caruso shows up the driver they got is drunk
at the wheel.
So Nick Cage just walks up grabs the guy by his collar and throws him
from the cab of the truck into another truck and it is a single shot.
Yeah, they don't pull the way Nick Cage just yeeted a guy out of a truck
cap into another truck.
Nick Cage did a like daily workouts.
Like he was getting himself all jacked up for this and like what was
it after this?
Oh Con Air.
So like these two movies were like his biggest bulkiest.
Yeah.
Yeah, he looks big in this one.
Yeah, I think it's interesting because he bench-pressed a girl 40 times.
He did.
He got the record.
Yeah, you know, he does play like he's a he's a villain.
He's the bad guy, but he's also sort of like heart of gold.
He philosophizes.
He definitely like tried to look out for Helen Hunt when Rappaport was
being a total piece of shit.
So yeah, Rappaport is Jimmy's cousin.
Little Junior is going to kill Rappaport if Jimmy doesn't help him out
on this one job.
According to Ronnie.
According to Ronnie, but he does it gets pinched by Detective Samuel
L. Jackson who gets shot in the face by the drunk guy.
Yeah, but it's only a glancing blow.
Yeah, but I'm like that's a glancing blow because it fucked up his eye.
All right, that works.
Yeah, it was a little bit of a stretch, but it's fine.
So once he's in jail Ronnie Rappaport shows up and he goes to Helen
Hunt who plays Jimmy's wife and just like, oh, here's 150.
It's all I can get for you, but you can come work for me if you want.
Yeah, he's like, I'm paying you out of my own pocket and everything.
And then we later find out that big juniors like you're giving her the
400 a week, right?
He's like, oh, yeah, of course.
And then he's like give her a car and then he's like, hey girl, I want to
get you a car.
He's a real slimeball.
And then yeah, Little Junior is like take her home.
And he's like, okay, it's like her home.
Yeah, my father says take her home now.
Fuck.
Oh, that's so good.
That's okay.
So that scene in the strip club has my favorite line, which I just want to
get out now because I don't want to know us to steal it, which is when
the big rain first shows up and Nick Cage goes.
Hey, what's the what?
Yeah, that was actually also my favorite line.
So I'm glad I said the fuck.
Oh one.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, mine comes later so I can save it.
But yeah, so Jimmy served some time.
Rappaport continues to like ply Helen Hunt with booze and she wakes up
in his skeezy apartment.
Oh, yeah.
And she's like a recovering alcoholic.
She's in AA.
I almost said AAA.
That wouldn't have worked.
And she's like, she's have her outside assistance for that.
They should though.
It would be nice.
It would solve a lot of people's problems.
No shit.
But she doesn't drink.
She sees Rappaport try and put a lead pipe through someone's head and
that freaks her out so she starts drinking again immediately.
Mm-hmm.
And rolling rock of all things.
Great.
Right.
And that was also Kevin Corrigan.
So there we are.
It all comes around and then she tries to get out of there.
Get out of his place and she peels out in his car almost hits another
car and then head on collision with a semi truck.
Okay.
So there's a semi in a residential area and how was it possibly going
fast enough that it killed her?
These are two movies where sorry spoiler alert for later, but two
people die in the dumbest fucking semi accident protagonist wives.
Although this is a bad time.
So and then Jimmy's let out of prison to go to the funeral.
I mean, he's in cuffs and there's like guards there.
I think one of my favorite notes that I have on here and I don't even
remember exactly what caused it, but I just wrote no big shock.
Cops are pieces of shit.
Oh man.
Yeah, the cops fucking sucked.
So when he finds out that his wife never went home was at Jimmy's
place, he drops the dime on a bunch of jobs.
He was involved with and mentions everyone but Ronnie.
So when it gets back up the chain, everyone thinks Ronnie's a snitch.
Hence why he gets his face punched in.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
We're talking about we're talking about shitty cops.
So his one deal for that was he gets to go visit his daughter.
Sam Jackson shows up blames Jimmy for getting shot in the head, even
though Jimmy tried to stop the shooting and like got shot in the
hand and Sam Jackson like take the cuffs off and then like proceeds
to like beat him up a bit rough him up.
That's what it was.
That was my note.
Yeah.
The cops were shit.
Pretty standard operating procedure.
Yeah, but when he finally gets out of prison, they wire him up to
go they want to get Omar to connect him to Junior who's dead.
I want to talk about the scene where oh yeah, oh man.
That was so good.
Nick Cage frantically jumping up and down while crying and punching
at a fake plant.
Yeah, just fucking getting his energy out expressing himself.
Junior.
I mean, this is Nick Cage podcast.
Let's just talk about Junior.
This is the weirdest character.
He's got so many things.
You get one thing.
You get one defining characteristic.
This guy's got like four.
He's got a sweet goatee.
Sweet goatee.
Strong boy.
Wears white all the time.
Track suits.
When he's lifting when he's lifting when he's doing the 40 bench
presses of the lady, his tank top has cutouts in the side.
Oh, yeah, that's such a weird one.
Yeah, it's like super tight and it's got little windows so you
can look at his lats, but he also has asthma asthma and he hates
the taste of metal.
No silverware for Nick Cage.
Yeah, so he only has plastic.
Which is apparently directly from the script that wasn't like a
weird choice he made and he's a philosophizer.
Nick, do you want to do a dramatic reading with me real quick?
Oh, sure.
All right.
I have an acronym for myself.
You know what it is?
Bad BAD.
Balls attitude direction.
You should give yourself an acronym because it helps you visualize
your goals.
How about fab?
Fucked at birth.
No good.
Too negative.
Yeah, that was my favorite quote where he just says too negative
because he like put some real thought into it.
Yeah, is that going to work?
Is that a good one?
No, no good.
Too negative.
Did you guys notice that his inhaler was bedazzled with the BAD?
Yeah, you see that at the end.
Nick Cage described his character as like a big terrible baby.
Yes, it's pretty pretty spot-on.
That's incredible.
Like he's just got a very innocent kind of like nature about him
like mentally kind of naive and innocent and but then just like
throws tantrums and can't handle not getting his way about stuff.
Nick Cage steals the show in this movie.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Well, I'm not going to lie.
I thought Caruso did great.
I think especially the scenes where he's like just talking to either
little junior or the cops.
He plays exasperated and like no fucks to give so well in this movie.
Like he's just like I don't fucking care.
We're just going to do this job and I'm going to go.
You can't do anything to me.
Yeah, no, he's good.
Like all the performances are good.
There's not a bad performance in this film.
I think the only one that didn't like do anything for me was Ving
Rames because he was just sort of like a coked out dude.
Yeah, I mean he was so background.
Yeah.
Oh and the big twist is a junior kills Ving Rames in front of Jimmy
and it turns out that Omar was a fed.
Yeah, and like all of his gang bangers were feds and then and then
you know legality.
Yeah, then it becomes a court.
Yeah, the feds don't want to prosecute because they have to give up a
bunch of secret information.
So they pretty much leave Jimmy twist in the wind drop him from
witness protection and he has to go get the solved himself.
Oh and Tucci sells him out because he'll get a federal judgeship for it.
Yeah, I really like slimy Tucci.
I think that's probably my favorite version of him.
Yeah, I think it came across real well.
I liked it a lot.
He played it.
Well, it was a good character.
Do do I just like dirtbags?
Yeah, maybe fuck.
All right.
I mean you like us.
Yeah, true.
It's fair and me.
Like me.
I got a real solid question.
What is up with Caruso Jimmy and Rose Rose the babysitter?
Yeah, Rose was the babysitter when he was still married to Helen
Hunter, whatever.
Yeah, she lived upstairs from them or whatever with her parents.
She was the babysitter.
Yeah, and would babysit for him whenever they were at a meetings.
Then he goes to jail.
His wife gets killed in an accident.
And so Rose continues to like help raise the baby, even though the
baby is now with the mother-in-law.
Yeah.
And then when he gets out, she's like, you've always got me.
And then it's like, oh fuck.
And then they get married right away.
Wait immediately courthouse wedding.
You married the babysitter that you only know from like raising your child.
Yeah, I think it's strange.
I this movie is an hour and 40 minutes and I think that it was just a
lack of time to develop that relationship.
But at that point, I'm like, why bother?
I'm going to assume I know the answer to this, but did either of you
guys watch the 1940 whatever version of this movie?
No, no, I watched a couple clips.
Did you watch anything?
Not for this one.
So I did.
It's rated really well.
It's supposed to be a great movie.
Yeah, I did love that.
So he's in prison for three years and the only person whose appearance
changes in that three years is Rose.
Like they change her hair and they, you know, get an older child.
Yeah, I was going to say the child pretty well.
Cruises the same haircut.
Nick Cage has the same goatee.
Like no one else updated their look in three years.
Once you hit a certain age in your life, though, I think you've got
your look on lockdown.
Like if I tried to do it, if I like started to live my life without
sideburns, like even mild sideburns as they are, it'd be weird.
Nobody would like me.
I just got this guy who thought he could go on living without sideburns
and everybody would know when they look at me.
They'd be like, I mean, I've gone through a fairly drastic like
facial hair appearance in the last year.
Wish you'd keep trying.
Mean if you would finally figure out your look, I could finally
stop drinking.
I love it.
Oh, this is a strange content to forget.
Your face makes me sad.
I love you too, Nick.
What did you guys think of Cage's accent in this one?
It wasn't a Boston like cop and it wasn't Gumby.
So well, I watched an interview in the cage about this film
and he was talking about how the interviewer asked him like this
isn't your normal weird character that you normally do and he went
on this whole thing about how Hollywood's memory is so short that
Fox didn't want him for this film because Nick Cage is a weird
funny man.
He can't do he can't do tough guy and now I'm worried that I'll
never be able to like do comedy again.
You know, it's funny.
We've seen him in tough guy roles several times now and I never
am really sold on him as a tough guy.
This one kind of worked for me.
Yeah, other than the fact that he also like hedged it with being
sort of a sensitive tough guy.
Yeah, but I mean that's one of the things that really drew him
to this character from what I read, but I'm thinking of his
the beginning of face-off castor Troy the only other time we've
seen him kind of be a bad guy and it's more of a cult of personality
and more of a sleazy look at me character rather than being
fucking brick shit house.
Sure.
Do you know what he filmed right before this?
This was 1995.
Yeah, it could happen to you.
It could happen to you.
Yeah, what a weird so he felt like he filmed back-to-back in
New York.
It could happen to you was before this.
That was a big body change.
Yeah.
Yeah, no shit.
He's pretty big in this.
Yeah, and and Harry this came out the same year as he won his
Oscar because this came out the same year as leaving Las Vegas.
Any other interesting facts?
I don't have a ton on this one.
So in the interview, I watched with him about it.
Can we all agree that Kate doesn't give a great interview?
It depends on how much coke he can afford because he's given
some really good ones.
Okay, this wasn't one of those but he was asked about famously
playing weirdos and giving very over-the-top performances and
this quote stuck out to me.
It's like about little Junior Brown and how much of that
character he brought to the script and he's like, it's true
that I stuck to the script, but I do try to put a bit of absurd
almost comic slant on things even kind of peak his career
mid-90s.
He knows what he's selling and has leaned into it.
This was a pretty straightforward movie and character for him.
Yeah, it was definitely a memorable performance.
I will never forget him bench pressing that girl.
I'll never forget him like chucking a guy across a truck yard
and his best goatee yet.
Oh, absolutely.
Also Sternenbush.
So you're tracking this is this just is mid-90s just peak
chest hair absolutely.
Okay.
Yep.
So his his strip club is called baby cakes, baby cakes.
Yeah, which really did not make me happy.
I loved it.
I love the name.
I love the sign.
I love that the actual location was just like an abandoned
like business lot next to a McDonald's and it's abandoned
to this day.
Yeah, they put up this and shot the movie and nobody's done
anything with it.
The TV version of this obviously has a bunch of fuzzing out
and black bars of the strippers, but there's a scene where
he's talking to Caruso and there is just a topless stripper
behind them and they've digitally put a dress on her.
Did you of all the things why would you put a dress?
Did you somehow watch this like on TV?
No, it's just one of the fun facts about online.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, this movie was hard to find.
Basically impossible to find unless you want to buy a VHS.
How much was the VHS neck?
I haven't purchased it yet.
Are you going to?
Yeah, we need a complete collection.
Yeah, I'm over halfway on all of these movies.
So and actually we're almost halfway through the whole fucking
shebang.
Yeah, well the first round first round shebang.
You're all stuck with us for more shebang.
Shebang Arang.
I don't know what that means.
Fuck move on.
Yeah, City of Angels.
Yeah, that's a movie.
I see that.
That's how you fucking segue.
You're going to take that Sean.
You're going to rip on my side.
These movies have no connection whatsoever.
Actually, they're both based off or both remakes of movies.
That's a loose connection.
I don't know.
It's a real Nick Cage's outside of a strip club in both of them.
It's fair.
God damn it.
No, I'm slipping.
City of Angels.
Nick Cage is a fucking angel.
Nick Cage is a national treasure.
End statement.
So a movie about Nick Cage being a creepy stalker.
Okay, first I want to say I watched 80% of the movie that this is a remake of.
How was that?
It is mid 80s Berlin and black and white.
It is hard.
It's all subtitled.
It's Soviet era Berlin and you think all the voiceover from like the people's thoughts
was like annoying in the Nick Cage one.
Watch it in German where you have to read it.
The movie starts off with a mother freaking out because her daughter has a high fever
and you just hear oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit and you notice the woman's not saying
anything like she's not moving her mouth.
So there's no context yet.
So there's just voiceover and then Nick Cage just sitting in a
trench coat with a scarf and a mesh shirt in this child's bedroom.
He had a mesh shirt on.
Yeah, I don't think that's right.
Yeah, I was gonna say I don't remember this.
Like did he just get out of dirt club?
It's like very fine.
It's a weird shirt.
It's very textured.
I think he wears the same clothes until he becomes human and then he has the same clothes
again until like he gets someone else's clothes until Nick Offerman gets him off that roof.
Damn it.
All right.
You guys did notice.
Wait, is Nick Offerman in this?
Yeah, man.
He was the construction worker.
Holy shit.
All right.
God.
Oh, yeah.
This movie.
We'll touch base on that because that's my favorite quote.
This movie.
Is it yours?
No, I don't think I have it.
This one wasn't great for us, but no this movie automatically wins.
So solely so I could watch it again to see Nick Offerman.
Yeah, it's like you can watch it again on your own time.
I don't want to.
Oh, yeah, we were watching it and Josie was like that was Nick Offerman.
I was like who?
Who are you talking about?
He's like the construction worker and then I had to look it up.
And it sure as shit was.
Nick Cage plays everyone's favorite angel Seth.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, right.
You've got Cassiel.
His best friend played by Andrew Bauer is Cassiel.
So I want to know I was a terrible Catholic.
I was kicked out of Sunday school as a child.
So I didn't really pay attention or read anything.
Anyone else who was maybe raised closer to the church.
Tell me who Seth is supposed to be.
Oh, it's Setharian.
I'm assuming that's bullshit.
Of course it is.
No, you can come to me for all of your religious based commentary.
I would come to you if we were talking about like angels described by the Bible where they're just like wings and eyes.
Okay, but like nice.
Sethandriel.
Isn't that what I just said?
Was it?
Yeah, you're late.
God damn it.
My brain is not working.
I don't like this.
So he plays Sethandria.
Wait, wait, wait.
Sethandria.
Say it's sexy.
Now you got it.
This movie just this movie starts off as a late 90s YouTube music video.
This movie starts off with the worst green screening since driving.
Yeah, it's the Humanity Bureau.
Awful.
Yeah, Cassiel and Seth just sitting on a highway sign in LA and it's.
These are like direct ports of like shots from the from Wings of Desire.
I'm sure it is.
It's like that's a better name for this movie too.
Yeah.
Well, not when you say it in German.
What's it in German?
Drop down in the comments and and tell Nick.
Yeah, give me some garbledy gook that looks like German for Wings of Desire.
Oh, also, I'm sorry.
I thought I knew where comments were, but I don't think comments are a thing.
No.
So find us on Reddit.
Yeah.
And comment there.
We're not going to tell you where to find us.
We're cage match pod on Reddit.
There's there's doxing us already.
There's comments on YouTube.
People don't leave them, but they're there.
Yeah, you can.
I mean, the bots didn't do anything.
So my question is, just everyone just have an angel.
Like there are so many angels just hang out for no reason.
I don't think it's like specific angels for specific people from.
I mean, I know it's not based on the movie based on the two movies that I mostly watch.
So the angels hang out and they like meet people when they die.
And okay, let's talk about this interview questions.
It's very confusing.
So like he's a guide and that part makes sense to me, right?
Like the little girl is going to die.
Somebody else is going to die.
He helps them get through that little girl gets to see her dead body.
Right. Super creepy, but she seems chill about it.
But then there's the other scene where Cassiel and Seth are in the bodega and they just like chill out a potential shooting.
Like are they there to be coolers?
Like I don't understand what the fuck the angels are there for.
They're not chilling it out. They're just like they're just peeping on people.
They're just getting people's.
Well, he does help him like no.
Yeah, he calms him down and he touches him and gets cool.
He touches him and then he's just hearing the guy's thoughts, but they're not actually.
Oh, he's never had to touch them to hear their thoughts.
I know. But yeah, I think I think that they're doing something.
So like are they there to deescalate shit?
But then like why aren't they doing more stuff?
And then fucking fuck you, Seth.
You're just going to go like get horny with a doctor instead of doing your job.
A million dollar Christian question too.
Like why aren't they doing more?
What are these angels doing more?
The million dollar Christian question is what's the deal Seth?
Seth Andriel. His full fucking name.
Oh, no, we know his full name.
We'll talk about that later.
The worst Kaiser So-Say ever.
Oh, yeah, I love.
Now we're going to talk about it now and you're going to edit it in later.
No, I'm not.
So so Seth falls in love falls in love with a doctor, which is again,
the rules of angels because they can't feel anything physical,
but they seem to have a full bevy of emotion.
And he finds out that he can become human if he falls.
This is going to be my weird tangent for this movie.
So I saw this movie at the age of about what year did this come out?
Ninety eight.
Thirteen, fourteen. Whenever this came out, I saw this.
I was trying to impress a girl. She wanted to go see it.
So we went and saw it. I was young and dumb.
It's been 20 odd years since I've seen this film.
Dennis Franz bald old guy with mustache.
I have just in my mind had Ron Jeremy as that character.
Oh, God. I mean, in my head for 24 years, he is like the NYPD blue version of Ron Jeremy.
I mean, he is. But like that has been the face of I know you're not there,
but I can feel you. Yeah.
Did you guys ever notice that Nick Cage and Ray Fiennes look really similar?
No, but now that you mention it, I do want to point out the hardest working actor in this film,
which is Nick Cage's hair plugs. Ray Fiennes.
Is that Ray Fiennes? He's a he was Voldemort and like Schindler's List and Red Dragon.
And Voldemort and Schindler's List. Yeah, in Schindler's List.
It was a weird one. And also in Maiden Manhattan.
That makes sense.
I distinctly remember Schindler's List being credited.
He's he's he's the bad guy in Imbruge, which here's my favorite cinematic quote ever.
Yelling, yelling at his wife. You're a fucking inanimate object.
That's nice. Yeah.
This is a weird episode. That's fine.
The weird movies. These are weird movies.
And really, the less we talk about City of Angels, the better the episode is for it.
Meg Ryan's a doctor who can't believe that someone would die on her watch
because she did everything and Seth falls in love with her.
But she's a cool doc. She rides a bike bike.
Oh, so first, first bike scene.
She is playing very Lucy Goosey and Laze Faire with like L.A.
traffic City of Angels foreshadowing.
Yeah. She later dies for being dumb on a bike.
Yeah. Spoilers. This movie's not good.
I don't care. It's not.
It's bottom three Nicolas Cage movies for me.
So it takes 40 minutes to introduce the protagonist.
They give them 30 minutes to for to will they won't they?
And then 10 minutes after they get together, they kill Meg Ryan off.
And they've got that stupid relationship between Meg Ryan and that other doctor.
And it's just like, what the fuck?
Sean, did you know who he is?
He looked familiar. He's he's he's he's he's Schindler's List.
You know, he's Reginald Hargreaves in the Umbrella Academy.
Oh, that's why. Oh, fuck.
It's been 20 odd years.
That's awesome. People don't age as well.
And the cage on point.
Schindler's List less so kind of amazing because, yeah, like that dude looks old as fuck.
And Cage looks like a guy in his 50s, a guy who can afford to keep it up.
Oh, yeah. He keeps it up.
Oh, fuck. Right back to that shower scene.
OK, let's talk about Dennis Franz character Nathaniel Messenger.
OK, not messing her.
It's a soft chain messenger.
Yeah, he's a big body surfer. Yeah.
Turns out. So he has to have like heart surgery.
And it turns out that he at one point was also an angel.
He's the one who teaches Nick Cage how to fall.
You make the decision, then you fall. Fall.
Well, I don't think angels are super creative since they've never had like that inspiration.
So in my head, he was just like super literal about it.
He's like, I don't know, you got to fall from grace.
So jump off. You got to fall.
They spend a lot of time on top of shit, too.
Yeah, like they're always up high.
Which I find OK, I like how they did justify that you have to make the decision to fall
because I'm like, what if you trip?
Well, you guys are I mean, you guys are always walking in unison,
like not paying attention where you're going.
I would have loved to see some angels just walking up the side of a building.
They're everywhere. I feel like there was some shot that included them on the side of a building
or at least angels in the background.
There were definitely lots of scenes where like it zooms out a little bit
and there's just like an angel on a balcony or something over the place.
So this but I don't know, maybe maybe a Spider-Man.
I'm confused.
Seth gets obsessed with Meg Ryan's character.
Dr. Maggie Rice starts stalking her.
Like her name, there's like a prolonged bubble bath sequence
where he's just in her room or in her bathroom.
Jesus. OK, so the song that's playing.
Oh, my God. The Paula Cole song.
Like, holy fuck, you make me feel like the Amazon's running between my thighs.
Incredible. It's talking about like flowers and like stamens and shit.
And it's like, oh, this is like grossly sexy.
So he's he's Nick Cage is stalking Meg Ryan.
The weirdest boner right now.
Literally, he starts.
He starts showing up and like making himself be seen by her.
And they go out a few times.
He's exposing himself to her.
He is. He's got that trench coat. It's great.
She describes a pair to him.
Eventually, she finds out that he doesn't have a history or isn't a person.
She sees him like badly CG cut through his own hand and not bleed.
Yeah, she tries to see does the magic thumb trick.
Yeah, I just just want it to be known that Nick just tried to do a visual gag for
an auditory form of entertainment.
Fuck you all do it again.
So she in this scene, they go to a picnic with Nathaniel Messinger
after he gets out of the hospital.
And Nathaniel, knowing that Seth is an angel, makes up a bunch of backstory for Seth.
So Dr. Maggie doesn't like cotton on.
And then she grills Seth about it.
She's like, I don't even know your last name is like, you don't need to know.
It's like, what's your last name?
And he just looks behind and goes, plate.
Seth plate. Yeah, that is my favorite quote.
Just Seth plate like the worst Kaiser.
So say ever. I do like that.
It comes back though later when she's like,
oh, I can't wait to become Mr.
and Mrs. Plate.
That'd be so good.
Like if she actually took that name for like the 30 minutes, they were married.
Well, they never get there.
No. Yeah. Spoilers.
So they break up because he's a big old weirdo can't bleed.
And he's like, I'm different from you.
And then she's like, I never want to see you again.
So they stop seeing each other.
And then she starts hanging out with Messenger and being like,
why would God allow us to meet if we couldn't be together?
It's like no one ever told you he was an angel.
That makes no sense.
But she taught him what a pair was.
So I guess they have a deeper connection.
Yeah. Describe it to me like Hemingway.
Yeah. Also, the Hemingway quote they use to describe food is the worst quote
because Hemingway just says the name of the food five times.
It's like it tastes like oysters.
The way that oysters taste, that oyster taste.
That was only three.
Oyster slur.
Yeah. Oh, good.
Thank you.
We definitely saw Dennis Franz's balls.
Oh, yeah.
No, this is very, very similar to Sean Penn's balls.
OK, yeah.
But better.
Into the ocean.
Because it's Dennis Franz.
Also, NYPD Blue.
Yeah.
So that's our other connection.
NYPD Blue.
Absolutely.
So Seth has been studying humanity for like as long as humanity has existed.
He can literally read Meg Ryan's mind.
And he has no clue how to interact with her.
He and Andre Brower, when they're talking about him taking the fall,
and he's like, can you even imagine to taste water?
And then Andre Brower is like, to feed a dog.
I love Andre Brower.
There's so many things that like if you've never done it.
Please continue.
Can you imagine to crack a sparkle, buddy?
I can't.
Whoa.
To tell a lie.
And Seth tells Cassiel about the fall.
Sethandriel.
And Cassie Lela Graham.
Casserole is.
I don't think you have to do anything to Cassiel.
That's a pretty fucking angel name.
Cassie was immediately just like, so you going to do it?
I want to see how this goes.
Let's talk about the fall scene, because that's where we get.
That's where I was about to go.
Because so Nick Cage is on the top of a building being constructed
and does a full with arms wide open.
They probably had like, wait, was that the song that was playing?
No, no, because the music on this was so fucking annoyingly.
With arms wide open doesn't come out.
Didn't come out for a few more years.
Oh, OK.
Well, there was some song about like, oh, in the arms of an angel
or some shit like that.
Yeah, that's a different one.
So they were this one was just orchestral with like angelic choir.
So here's my question, Nick.
You might be able to answer this.
So I'm a Glockman.
God damn it. You got there.
No, when he jumps, it starts cutting to like black
and white footage of children playing.
Is that the actual movie?
The original movie?
That's a good question, because I was like, what the fuck is this?
It's super art house.
It's like, here's people going onto a train.
Yeah, that here's a pregnant belly.
Since I'd have to see it again.
The art style of Wings of Desire was very, very, very, very German art house.
Yeah. So unlike anything to do with this movie,
which had very few interesting creative choices.
You're not wrong that it doesn't have a lot of like interesting shit to say.
I do think that it was filmed well.
It was filmed well.
The director of photography, John Seale, is like a pretty fucking good.
No, I mean, it was not shot poorly.
I'm not. That's not what I'm saying.
I just meant in terms of like this movie had nothing to say.
Did you know one of his most recent movies was Mad Max Fury Road?
I believe it. Yeah, that movie fucking rules.
This movie was shot great.
The scene with Franz and Cage overlooking the city from 31 stories up.
They shot that.
They built scaffolding out to this girder
and then just sat the two of them out there with wires and had them like read their lines.
And they're both afraid of heights.
Yeah, I would have shit myself doing that.
That's also like the only time otherwise.
That isn't CG. Yeah, it's weird.
So anyway, Nick Cage takes his tumble off this building.
And then apparently this is where we see Nick Cofferman.
Yeah.
Because so he wakes up bleeding for the first time and feeling for the first time
on this like scaffolding and people are just looking up at him.
And they're like a lot of them are just like sitting around having lunch.
And I'm like, have they just been working around this maybe dead guy for hours?
Yeah. Tell us behind the scenes, Nick.
How is it at a construction site?
How long does a corpse go unnoticed?
I'm not going to lie.
If you can get away with staring at something for a while and not doing something,
you probably are going to like I've stared out windows and like I've watched bums fight.
And it's awesome.
I watched a person chase a cowboy hat down like Pike Street one time.
Like it was just blowing in the wind and they couldn't catch it.
And so I just watched.
Have you ever felt like a cowboy hat blowing in the wind?
I don't know this song.
Oh, I think you're crushing it though.
Billboard top 100 here we come.
But okay, so that scene is my favorite quote from the entire thing,
because this is when Cage gets to be a little cagey.
This is the interesting shift for him.
So yeah, the last 20 minutes of this film is when it gets good
because it becomes a Nick Cage film.
Yeah. Him like just stomping up and down.
Maybe it's like 10 minutes of him doing fun stuff.
That was fucking weird.
But he wakes up and he's got blood on his hand and he goes, is this blood?
This is blood.
And then Nick Offerman goes, is it red?
And he goes, red.
Is it red?
Color.
I do have a question here.
They established.
God damn it, Nick.
You're good at this game.
Yeah.
They established early on that as angels, they can understand every language.
So he meets this Chinese woman is asking her which direction she's going
and she's yelling at him in Chinese.
He doesn't understand it.
Like how the fuck does he know English?
If it's all just supposed to be that all language is understood by him
and he could just be understood.
How does he know English and not Chinese?
Well, I think he's lost his divine blessing at this point.
But why English?
They probably thought, boy, we can't afford to coach Nick Cage through speaking
a different fucking language.
Here he is speaking Latin now.
We got to get a Latin coach for fucking Nick Cage.
I just can't imagine his...
Indulius Dolina, eh?
That was really good.
That was good.
I don't think that first one was a real word.
I don't. It doesn't matter because I don't speak fucking Latin.
I don't have divine blessing.
You know what?
I speak English like people without divine blessing.
So he's trying to like get to Tahoe because that's where she's at
because she's going to get married.
He's trying to hitchhike because he doesn't have exact change for the bus.
And this car pulls up and he's like, hey, and then immediately gets jumped
and his shoe stolen.
They like punch him in the face right away.
Yeah.
I also thought that was Kevin Corrigan.
Just saying. It might have been.
They didn't credit any of those guys.
So it probably was Kevin Corrigan.
I mean, if I jumped a dude on the street, I wouldn't want to get credited for it either.
And then number one way the cops find you and then the movie credits
and then the Goo Goo Dolls play.
He's outside.
I don't want the world to see me.
That's the one.
God, I hate that song.
And then now that he's an idiot human because apparently an eternity of memories
gives him no context for human behavior.
He's trying to get to Tahoe.
Big Rick pulls up.
Where are you going?
Tahoe.
I'm going to Reno.
I'm going to Tahoe.
I'm going to Reno.
I'm going to Tahoe.
Get in. We'll figure it out when you get there.
There was a lot of patience in that one.
Yeah.
That's the second cool trucker we've had, though, because there was the Red Rock West trucker.
That was pretty cool.
Oh, yeah.
He gets there. He finds her.
They fall in love.
They fuck once.
Here's my quote from this film.
Describe it.
I can't.
What's it feel like?
Warm.
Aching.
That's it.
I never want to hear somebody like verbalize like what it feels like to bust somebody again,
like somebody who's never experienced a moment of it.
Like, what does it feel like?
Like.
Did you see water balloons covered in light sand?
And I can't get away.
Trapped.
I'm dying.
That's your that's your address.
I think we probably got this episode wrapped up.
Thanks, guys.
No, Meg Ryan.
No, I'm spent Meg Ryan dies.
And then he said she dies in the dumbest way.
She's riding her bike.
She has her eyes closed and her arms out.
And she just loves life and God and angels and shit.
Mrs. Plate.
She will be Mrs.
Plate.
And she's listening to a dumb fucking song that's playing on the soundtrack.
And then she runs into a logging truck.
Yeah.
That's it.
What a dumb dumb.
He feels her guy and then he moves into her apartment.
Yeah, this is a dumb movie.
Yeah, just here's my final thought on this film.
So she introduces him to a pair.
He goes to the market as a human and he fills up his basket with pairs crying.
And there's that scene of him at the end where he just like he bites into a pair.
And my only thought was what if that's a bad pair?
What if that's his first pair and it's awful?
He wouldn't know.
All he would know is that it's sweet and like soft sand.
But what if it wasn't?
What if it wasn't an unripe pair?
Because pairs, there's a wide range of what a pair can taste like.
What if the thought was this, this was it.
And he just regrets every decision he's made up to that point.
He just chucks it into the Hudson and that's it.
He would probably like it just for what it was.
I'm sure, but I just not to rain on your joke.
Nick, do you have anything else on this one?
It fucking sucks.
I'm being cut out of my own podcast apparently.
No, I did not enjoy this movie.
No, I mean the way he delivers lines like just so vacant.
I'm like, oh, it hurt so bad.
Listen, but what if we could just fall and be with the humans?
I like even that's too much emotion.
No, it's bad.
I watched it again.
I watched an interview for this film as well.
Just him talking about how he wanted to portray this character
who never felt anything but had this true love for this human.
It's bad.
No, I don't know.
It's I can't tell if it's in a three-way tie or what?
Oh, yeah.
What are your three worst ones at this point at this moment?
Oh, I just answered this.
Well, the Schraders and then left behind.
Oh, not for me.
For me, it's left behind this and Bangkok Dangerous.
We haven't gotten to Bangkok Dangerous yet.
I've seen it and I know it's terrible.
It's only in here because you thought it was funny to veto me saying don't put it in.
Yeah, it is funny.
It's you're not going to feel that way when you've seen the movie.
Yeah, patrons, you get to listen to episode zero at some point.
You can hear our logic on how we got here.
I don't remember any of this question time.
What was Nick Cage's next film?
He was asked if all his time up on that girder filming that scene with Franz was was practice for Superman.
He was actively being interviewed and questioned about Superman at this point.
We all joke about it as if it was like this would have been a weird thing that happened.
Forgetting that this was a big fucking deal when he was cast.
This was prime Superman Cage.
Yeah, well, they were starting to work up like costume tests and everything for that too.
Yeah, I didn't realize it was at that that year, but this was kind of like the height of his.
Yeah, this really was the peak and then there's the big dip coming up and then the resurgence.
Yeah, so I do have one more quote from the interview for Kiss of Death.
It was difficult for me because I was playing it in a much more constrained way than my natural way or inclination to perform.
Like he's always been a weirdo and he knows he's actually like a fucking weirdo.
That's fair. That's fine. I can respect that. I can respect it too.
Like my assumption was just like all this weird energy, but he's always tried to be weird and I respect it so much more.
So at this point guys, what wins the Kiss of Death?
The Nick Cage movie or the movie starring David Caruso?
Well, it's starring David Caruso, but he's like number three male billing.
He did get the and. I mean, if you look at like screen time, it's Caruso, Jackson, Nicholas Cage.
Oh, yeah. No, I mean, so is that the answer?
Yeah, I mean one of them he pulls out a great performance.
One of them he doesn't. He pulls out his meaty dork. He did get his dork out.
Yeah. Okay, we're going to we're going to frame by frame this and we're going to see a modesty sock.
I don't know. I think that was a dong.
So a potential new segment this week in Cage, the Renfield.
The Renfield trailer. Renfield trailer looks fucking awesome.
I am so excited for this film. That's all I have to say about it right now.
It's amazing. I forgot we were going to do this and I should have rewatched it.
But Aquafina Holt, Harold Holt.
No, Nicholas. Nicholas Holt. Harold Holt was Captain Holt.
Captain. Oh, there's your connection.
Ah, Andre Brower.
Andre Brower. No, just I did not know what to expect to this film.
I didn't realize this is going to be an action comedy.
Oh, yeah. And oh, yeah.
From all the photos and stuff of him, like walking around Top Hatty and stuff like that is like,
what is this going to be? It's an action film.
Yeah, it looks great. Take this.
I can't my words are not wording.
I don't know. I have a stroke.
If you are, I wish you'd share.
That's a masturbation joke.
Give me a handy buddy. Goodbye, everybody.
No, it looks fucking great.
Nicholas Holt Renfield goes to a support group for people in bad relationships,
trying to get some support and from a group from a group.
And then it's like this guy controls my life and don't know.
I I honestly don't know what's going on in my brain today.
It's bad. I'm fucking you got the brains.
Don't worry. I got a case of the brains, guys.
You got to start drinking coffee before these.
Yeah, don't drink the Sparkle buddies.
Well, do both. Yeah.
Oh, put them together.
We talked about switching to four local.
Actually, I suggested it and Sean said no, like the classic four local.
Can you still get it? No, but you can get what they have.
I told you about my four local experience.
Please do now.
So back when I was working in a bar, I was working in the kitchen
and it was at the time when four local got, you know, put down
and our rep from the alcohol distributor came through
and he was just like, oh, here's this and that.
Here's all your stuff.
And do you guys want like some four local because I can't sell them anymore.
We were like me and the kitchen manager were just standing there.
We're like, fuck. Yeah.
So he brings us like four flats of four local.
So you direct them over a camping weekend, right?
No, we proceeded to throw a house party that night.
And like the kitchen managers doing trust falls off of his roof
because he's so jacked up on these things.
It was just awesome.
I'm pretty sure there was people like punching each other in the face
just to see if they could feel a new page around here.
We can get over $200 a month.
We'll do a bunch of four local and record a podcast.
That's fair. I think that's a reasonable thing.
So nothing else on either of these movies.
I enjoy a romp.
I enjoy a caper.
And I got that from Kiss of Death, even though it was kind of like
it felt more like a made for TV movie or that's a perfect way to
extend an episode of like NYPD Blue.
I was real disappointed in David Caruso when he said that
boosting a car in 90 seconds was a good thing.
60 seconds. That's all we need.
I have one more thing to say about Kiss of Death.
Omar apparently has a phobia of the color red.
It's his bad luck color.
That's actually my favorite Caruso response was when Little Jr.
is like, what about you?
You got a problem with the color red and Caruso is just like walking
away is like, what do I look like a fucking interior designer?
I don't give a shit what color it is.
It's like awesome.
That is the fucking best response.
Yeah, like who fucking cares?
It's a fucking car.
Next time we've got in the fucking weird zone, Vampire's Kiss
and Between Worlds, we will have guests for that episode and the one
following and then back to just the three of us for a little bit.
Is this the episode where you learn about the alphabet?
Yes.
So we've learned acronyms and now we'll learn the alphabet.
Yep.
We got it.
Beautiful.
But yeah, you know, thank you for listening.
Please rate, review, subscribe.
Oh, you forgot.
If anybody's interested in watching this, please subscribe.
If you're interested in watching these movies, you'll have to come to my house.
Yes.
If you want to pay for the premium tier, you can watch it at Nick's house.
No, you can stand outside the windows.
While Nick watches you.
Watching the movie.
Yeah.
But you can support us on Patreon if you are so inclined.
That's at patreon.com slash cage match.
And as always, thank you to our Sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico and Matt.
And our sole inner cage sponsor, Ira.
And special thanks to our newest Sparkle buddy, Adam, former guest and fan of the show.
Thank you.
We can safely lay all of the blame of this show at your feet.
Thank you all.
Fuck you for doing this to us.
Love you.
Bye bye.
Bye.
Well, until lawyers get involved and we get the C-section.
Come at me fucking Coppola.
Really?
Yeah.
Fuck him.
You want that to be the hill we die on?
You know what we'll say to him?
Bye bye.
Yeah.
We'll come back to Trucker Tahoe.
Oh yeah.
Fucking ass racer cash.
Well, I'm going to Reno.
Looks like you're going downtown, big guy.
That's the sound.
Keep it in.
He leaves her Hemingway book.
When she goes to the library to figure out who did you just like mute me?
Okay.
Peter just turned to knob and I'm like, you dick.