1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000 Oh god. Oh my god. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Fuuuuck! 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:11,000 Fuuuuuuuuck! 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,000 When are they gonna bring back the derriere ball? 5 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000 I don't know. 6 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,000 Would you feel comfortable riding in one? 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,000 Okay. We still ride in boats and the Titanic happened. 8 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,000 That's true. 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:28,000 Also, to be fair, mostly Nazis died, so that's kind of a win-win. 10 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000 Yeah, that's fair too. 11 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,000 Maybe this is how we solve our Nazi problem now. 12 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,000 Just make more derriere balls. 13 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000 Make more derriere balls. 14 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,000 Yeah. With turtles brought back blimps in the 80s. 15 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000 It's true. The turtle blimp. 16 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:44,000 I had the turtle blimp toy and there was like a pinhole in the blimp part of it. 17 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,000 So I just had like the bit that hung down because I blow it up and it would just immediately deflate. 18 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,000 Oh, what a bummer. 19 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,000 And I could never find the pinhole. 20 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:56,000 And yeah, so I just had like the thing they rode on and it was just kind of like a weird sky bike. 21 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,000 And I was miserable for it. 22 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,000 Welcome back to Cage Match. 23 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:06,000 Colon, a roundabout way of meeting Nicolas Cage with Nick, Sean, and Peter. 24 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000 I am Sean. 25 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,000 I'm Nick. 26 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000 I'm Peter. Hi. 27 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:15,000 We watch all the Nicolas Cage movies, so you only have to watch good ones. 28 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000 Or you can watch the bad ones too. 29 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,000 They mostly have value. 30 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:24,000 We're kind of in the middle of the bracket right now where everything is sort of not great. 31 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000 Yeah. 32 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,000 But not bad. 33 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,000 I mean, there's some there's some great terrible. 34 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,000 That is true. 35 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,000 We're going to talk about some of it today. 36 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:40,000 So this is a podcast where we watch 64 of what we assume will be probably Nick Cage's best films. 37 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,000 Probably. 38 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:52,000 We watch them two at a time, talk about them, debate their finer points and decide we'll go on to potentially be the best Nick Cage movie of all time, according to us. 39 00:01:52,000 --> 00:02:00,000 Yeah, ostensibly based on caginess of the movies, but also watchability. 40 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,000 Yeah, that's a big part of it. 41 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:06,000 Yeah, because there have been some cagey films that are not so watchable, not so watchable. 42 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,000 Right. 43 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,000 One of which you have to watch again. 44 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:15,000 Thanks to Nick, we got rid of adaptation. 45 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:20,000 And that's a spoiler alert for anybody who hasn't listened to our original episode, our second episode. 46 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:25,000 Yeah, I really yeah, I'd be interested to know who's coming into this on episode 13. 47 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:30,000 Hey, drop down in the comments and tell me what what episode you started out on. 48 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,000 Also, please hit that like button and subscribe. 49 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,000 Let's get that. 50 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,000 Let's get that out of the way at the top. 51 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,000 I appreciate that. 52 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:44,000 And if you do feel generous and want to throw us any money, we do have a Patreon and any support is highly appreciated. 53 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:49,000 A big thank you to our new patrons, Josie and Rico and Sean. 54 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,000 Yeah, officially, officially a real patron now. 55 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,000 He's a real boy. 56 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000 Yeah, we're real proud of him. 57 00:02:55,000 --> 00:03:00,000 So, Sean, I know that you hate AI generated art and I do, too, for lots of reasons. 58 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:11,000 But on the one true God, Nick Cage subreddit, they often post a bunch of Nick Cage art and I can't get over it. 59 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,000 Like, AI art already kind of sucks. 60 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:17,000 And these are just like constantly melting candle versions of Nick Cage. 61 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:22,000 He always has a rat teeth and it's very weird. 62 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:26,000 I don't understand what AI thinks he is, but it is not him. 63 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000 You know, 26 movies in business. 64 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,000 I'm not sure if I know what Nick Cage is anymore. 65 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,000 Boy, that's a deeper statement. 66 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,000 What is life, Peter? 67 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,000 It's just this. 68 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,000 I think. 69 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000 Oh, God, are we in hell? 70 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000 Maybe. 71 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaking of hell. 72 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,000 Hey, all right. 73 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:49,000 This week we are talking about drive angry 2011 drive angry in 2012 stolen. 74 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:53,000 And maybe if we're lucky, a little bit of Ghost Rider in the middle. 75 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,000 No. 76 00:03:55,000 --> 00:04:05,000 So a condemned murderer breaks out of hell to exact revenge and to exact vengeance and make sure hell doesn't walk earth. 77 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,000 His name, Johnny Blaze. 78 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:12,000 Just right off the top, it is shocking how similar the premise of those movies are. 79 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:18,000 So this is a movie about a dude who escapes from hell on a quest for vengeance. 80 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:28,000 He is trying to find some bad cultists who steal babies and kill them to try to bring Satan into the world. 81 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:35,000 In his adventure, he finds Amber Turd and allegedly, allegedly. 82 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,000 And they have a team up. 83 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:44,000 There's budget stone cold Steve Austin, who was one of the screenwriters in this movie. 84 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,000 That's true. 85 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,000 Todd Farmer. 86 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000 He looks like a real douchebag. 87 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:55,000 Apparently, he puts a special thanks to his wife in the crates of all of his films. 88 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000 Thanks, honey. 89 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:01,000 Those are that's a level of fun facts people can expect for these movies. 90 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,000 OK. 91 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:09,000 So, yeah, Nicolas Cage is starring as Milton, the aforementioned guy who escaped from hell. 92 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:14,000 Amber heard is Piper, the super white trash lady. 93 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:22,000 And William Fitchner is the accountant who is sent from hell to find Nicolas Cage and bring him back. 94 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,000 Yeah, Fickner. 95 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,000 Yeah, it's spelled Fitchner. 96 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000 Yeah, Fickner. 97 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000 He fucking rules. 98 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,000 Yeah. 99 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,000 Yeah. 100 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,000 Just in general, he's always such a weirdo. 101 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,000 But well, he's one of those people. 102 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,000 I always think he's someone else. 103 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,000 Oh, and then you also have the cult leader, Jonah King, who's played by Billy Burke. 104 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,000 Yeah. 105 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,000 The dad from Twilight. 106 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,000 Oh, I've never seen any of those. 107 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000 They're fine. 108 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:50,000 I don't know why, but for when the accountants first on the screen, you seem kind of a distance. 109 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:55,000 I'm like, is that Stephen Weber from Wang's who was also in even Las Vegas? 110 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,000 And I'm like, no, it's not. 111 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,000 Then it is that guy from the insurance commercials. 112 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,000 Now it's not him either. 113 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 You know what this movie could have used? 114 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000 Tony Shalhoub. 115 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,000 I kind of think every movie could use Tony Shalhoub. 116 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,000 I only say that because I was trying to remember Stephen Weber's name and I just Googled Wang's. 117 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,000 Yeah. 118 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,000 So what do you want to say about this movie? 119 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,000 All right. 120 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:20,000 Let's just get this out at the top because we talk about it for most Nick Cage films. 121 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,000 There's a lot of there's a lot of exposed breasts in this film. 122 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,000 Oh, yeah. 123 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,000 This one was like thick with them, too. 124 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:31,000 I started out with this because this is a topic I have something to say about. 125 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,000 It was awesome. 126 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,000 This movie was lousy with nudity. 127 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000 Yeah, it's like it's very grindhouse style film. 128 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000 There's like excessive nudity. 129 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:44,000 There is a gunfight scene that involves fucking. 130 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,000 Mm hmm. 131 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,000 Mm hmm. 132 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000 That's that. That was good. 133 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:52,000 And then just naked ladies dancing around a fire at the end before the big climactic fight. 134 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,000 And even some of them shoot machine guns. 135 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,000 If you look carefully, you can see a dong in that scene. 136 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,000 Oh, yeah. 137 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,000 All right. Is that the first time we've seen? 138 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,000 No, we saw Cage's. 139 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,000 Oh, no, Sean. 140 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,000 We definitely we definitely saw Sean Penn's balls. 141 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,000 Oh, yeah, we saw Sean Penn's balls. 142 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:14,000 Nice. This podcast is quickly becoming Mr. Skin. 143 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:19,000 You can see Sean Penn's balls at one hour and 13 minutes. 144 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,000 I probably wrote it down. I don't know. 145 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,000 Go back through my note. 146 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,000 So dong, you say? 147 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,000 Yeah, you know, it was just in the background of that. 148 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,000 Oh, cultist scene. 149 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,000 We should also say this film was at the height. 150 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:39,000 Actually, this was like the kind of early one of the early four days back into big screen 3D. 151 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:48,000 The director of this also directed My Bloody Valentine, which was right on that like early cusp of like big schlocky action horror 3D film. 152 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:53,000 I didn't immediately realize that this was a 3D movie until I looked it up later. 153 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,000 Same with me. 154 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,000 I watched it the first time and I'm like, man, the CG in this movie sucks. 155 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:02,000 And then Peter was like, man, I hate early CG and like or not early CD, early 3D movies. 156 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000 And I'm like, oh, yeah, that's what that was. 157 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000 That's why the bullets are always coming at me. 158 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,000 But look terrible. 159 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,000 And like, here's a hatchet that suddenly flings towards the screen. 160 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,000 And yeah, sure. 161 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:18,000 And I get that it was fairly early on in the 3D Renaissance of the odds. 162 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:22,000 But yeah, it's such a simple, stupid way to do it. 163 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:26,000 It's like, oh, here, look, somebody's eyeballs going to pop out at you. 164 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,000 All right. 165 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:36,000 It being a 3D film was one of the driving factors why Nick Cage wanted to do it because he was really interested in the technology at the time. 166 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,000 And he was like, I want to see what I can do with that. 167 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,000 Turns out not much. 168 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:46,000 If you could make one movie 3D that's not already 3D, what would you choose? 169 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,000 Like just first movie that comes to your head. 170 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:53,000 I've got there's something about Mary. 171 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:57,000 I think that would be really good, especially the Franken beans part. 172 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 You can really get the texture out of that one. 173 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000 Yeah. 174 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,000 Yeah. 175 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,000 Let me go with Billy Madison. 176 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,000 You just want that Miss Lippy scene in 3D. 177 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,000 Adam Sandler would be interested to see what he does with 3D. 178 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,000 And I just watched Waterboy the other day, which didn't deserve a rewatch. 179 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:17,000 I'm like, maybe Billy Madison World Trade Center World Trade Center. 180 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,000 Yeah. 181 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000 OK, that's good. 182 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,000 No, man, you can't get the best out of that because you never actually see the planes coming at you. 183 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,000 They never show the planes. 184 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:28,000 I wonder why because it was a hoax. 185 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:33,000 I die on that hill call backs talk a little. 186 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,000 So we were talking about 3D a little bit, but talk about the visuals in general. 187 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000 They're terrible. 188 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,000 Remember that time that the hydrogen truck rolled in? 189 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,000 That is the best worst scene in the film. 190 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:51,000 OK, so just from the outset, the movie starts with Nick Cage driving out of hell and within isolation of allegedly. 191 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:57,000 With just in isolation of a CG car driving through CG hell, it looks passable. 192 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,000 It's fine. 193 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,000 There's nothing to compare. 194 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,000 There's nothing to compare it to. 195 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,000 That was kind of spawn level for me. 196 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:10,000 It was fun level, but there's there's no juxtaposition between like live actors to make it look bad, to make it look as bad as it is. 197 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,000 It works well in isolation. 198 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:17,000 The next scene is a bunch of hillbillies in a pickup truck and like you said he was dead. 199 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,000 Well, he's not. 200 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:22,000 But you said and like Nick Cage's car coming out crashing into them. 201 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:30,000 Then the cage gets out of the car and this is where you get to see a sweet like bleach blonde hair. 202 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:42,000 Yeah, guy pulls a tire iron and Nick Cage blows his hand off and there's just bad CG spray of blood that I guess is meant to come at you. 203 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,000 Probably then someone else like gets out of the car, starts shooting. 204 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,000 The bullets are coming at you. 205 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000 But again, don't have a 3D TV. 206 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,000 I don't think anyone does at this point. 207 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000 I knew one person who rented a movie. 208 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,000 They had a 3D TV and they rented my bloody Valentine. 209 00:10:55,000 --> 00:11:01,000 And like we were over there and it's like, well, he's only got one pair of glasses. 210 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,000 This is fucking dumb. 211 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:09,000 So but just like the car chases for the most part are fine for a movie called Drive Angry. 212 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,000 There's not that much driving in it. 213 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,000 And none of it was all that angry. 214 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,000 No, the last thing is pretty angry when he's just like mowing down cultists. 215 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:21,000 But that's also the most just CG car in the film. 216 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,000 Like at one point, he's up on two wheels and like comes crashing down in a couple of hippies. 217 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,000 Cultists. 218 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000 Come at me, hippies. 219 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:34,000 The driving like the stunt driving is fairly fun. 220 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,000 What little there is. 221 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,000 There's a fun chase with a Winnebago. 222 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,000 So the fight in the Winnebago was real. 223 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:43,000 Yeah. But the worst CG by far is the God killer. 224 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,000 The gun he stole from Satan. 225 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:50,000 Yeah. That is meant to like it can kill gods or just you die. 226 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,000 Your soul goes away. 227 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,000 No heaven, no hell. 228 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,000 It erases you. 229 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,000 Yeah. 230 00:11:54,000 --> 00:12:05,000 And it is got just the most mid to late 90s, like early CG, like quake level special effects that like shoot when it comes out. 231 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,000 It's just like a weird sparkler. 232 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:12,000 Yeah. It looks like someone shoots a fucking Roman candle at somebody else and they just get launched into the air. 233 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:19,000 Well, it's like a five barrel revolver pistol thing that shoots prayers. 234 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:25,000 The thing that bugged me about it was it's on a gun belt and they wear it around their like shoulders. 235 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,000 So it looks like a bandolier, but it's not a bandolier. 236 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000 It's a gun belt. 237 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:37,000 How big is the devil compared to how small his hands like it's a big gun, but it fits people's normal hands. 238 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,000 Yeah. 239 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000 So it's like a hell of a kick. 240 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,000 It does have a hell of a kick. 241 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,000 Like the special effects are terrible. 242 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,000 Nick Cage hams it up pretty good. 243 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,000 Yeah. 244 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000 He does a pretty good job. 245 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:52,000 There is a probably the best scene is the fight in the motel. 246 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,000 I don't know. 247 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:58,000 I'm always going to go back to that fight with the writer because he looked so fucking dumb. 248 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:02,000 And he's just the guy is playing Amber Heard's fiance. 249 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:07,000 And she's kind of established that he's not necessarily a great guy just through body language and stuff. 250 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:11,000 You know, you learn how to read these things and you're a big dog like myself. 251 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:16,000 But, you know, Nick Cage helps her get home, fixes her car and whatnot. 252 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:20,000 She enters the apartment or trailer apartment, please. 253 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,000 It's a trailer. 254 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,000 And this guy's just like banging on the bed. 255 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:33,000 And then he's looking back and forth at the door and he's just got this look of like fear and he's just going like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. 256 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000 And the chicks like, yeah, fuck me, fuck me. 257 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:39,000 And Amber Heard runs up and like grabs her by her hair, grabs her out. 258 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:45,000 Budget Steve Austin is like trying to keep his wiener from being in the shot. 259 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,000 Amber Heard knocks out this woman. 260 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,000 Yeah, it's very much a trailer park scene. 261 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000 Just OK, can we talk about this like the scene in the diner? 262 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,000 So Amber Heard's character is a diner waitress at the start of this film. 263 00:13:55,000 --> 00:14:01,000 And Nick Cage is like, I ain't her because he's the car for some reason. 264 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,000 Well, yeah, it's a sweet ride. 265 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,000 I'm assuming 69 Mustang. 266 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000 Yeah. 267 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:11,000 License plate drive under right next to a bumper sticker that says I break for Pussy. 268 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,000 Oh, yeah, because it's the boyfriend's car. 269 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000 Yeah. Classy. 270 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,000 So Nick Cage is in this diner. 271 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:21,000 He has a mug in front of him while he's looking at all these maps. 272 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:26,000 And this waitress comes up and he's just like, you're going to you're going to fuck me when I get out of work. 273 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,000 Well, not subtle. 274 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000 Why does everyone want to fuck Nick Cage in this movie? 275 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,000 This movie was incredibly horny. 276 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,000 And it's not just any waitress that was Katie Mixon. 277 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,000 Yes. 278 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:42,000 But like he grabs her by the throat, pulls her in and makes out with her, then throws her away. 279 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:47,000 It's like I said sugar and like just starts pouring like just mountains of sugar into his coffee. 280 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:52,000 That reminds me a little bit of the first men in black when Edgar's body. 281 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,000 Yeah. 282 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:58,000 So, yes. 283 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,000 OK, so he's trying to track down a baby. 284 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:04,000 The baby is his granddaughter because his daughter was in a cult. 285 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,000 He died years ago. 286 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:12,000 His punishment in hell was having to watch all of his loved ones and the shitty lives that they have to live. 287 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,000 So that's how he's kept current on events. 288 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,000 In terms of there's no C-span in hell, I guess. 289 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,000 In terms of a punishment. 290 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:24,000 I mean, that doesn't seem like an eternal punishment because eventually your loved ones will die. 291 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000 Maybe you just rewatch all that. 292 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,000 You get reruns. 293 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:35,000 But so they don't explain that till after he has this weird like he's just thinking about like this woman and mustachioed guy who getting murdered in a mug. 294 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:40,000 Tell none of that's explained when we say, yeah, it's really weird scene. 295 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:48,000 And it's also got like a TV filter over it, which we later learn is because you watch the suffering of your loved ones. 296 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:52,000 But none of that's explained before this weird flashback. 297 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,000 Oh, you know, I hadn't actually gotten that impression with the filter on it. 298 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,000 I just watched it and I was like, I don't know who these fuckers are. 299 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:06,000 Jonah King, the cultist leader thinks he's the new Messiah, who had his dick bit off by Nick Cage's daughter. 300 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,000 Yeah, that's pretty good. 301 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:13,000 And then took her femur and added to the top of his cane, which is a sweet cane. 302 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,000 Sweet cane. Yeah. 303 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,000 How much did you think that we were going to see stump dick? 304 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000 I thought it was fairly certain. 305 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,000 Yeah. 306 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,000 In 3D. 307 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,000 Also, what's the point of being a cult? 308 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:28,000 I'm not going to I'm not going to make that joke because Peter will actually leave it in the podcast and I'll sound like a monster. 309 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:33,000 No, what's the point of being a cult leader if you don't got if you got like, you know, a weird stuff deck? 310 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000 That's fair. OK. 311 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:43,000 But speaking back, fucking not as stunted, but speaking of that guy, that dumb fucking necklace that he wears, it's their symbol, which he keeps getting stabbed with. 312 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:48,000 I would have come up with Bob and Margera is the villain of this film. 313 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,000 Yeah, he keeps wearing this necklace that everyone steps with. 314 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:56,000 It's like maybe don't wear that or round it out. 315 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,000 What do you guys think of grindhouse movies like just in general? 316 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 I you know, I think they're fun. 317 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000 I like them. 318 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:06,000 I mean, I like a good low budget grindhouse film. 319 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:13,000 I like kind of the weird art tour style of like a renegade filmmaking that that era comes from. 320 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:19,000 And this weirdly overly produced we're doing this for the sake of doing it doesn't really do it for me. 321 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,000 I don't know. I spend a lot of my life just doing things for the sake of doing them. 322 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,000 But you spend 50 million dollars to do them. 323 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,000 I don't think anybody spent 50 million dollars on this. 324 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,000 That was the estimated budget of this film. 325 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,000 All for the 3D. I'm sure. 326 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,000 Probably. 327 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:39,000 It made like 42 million worldwide gross. 328 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000 But this was and again, this was also the early days of 3D. 329 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,000 So that was kind of a big selling point. 330 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,000 But to answer your question, yeah, like I like grindhouse movies. 331 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:59,000 They're like just kind of senseless violence and action that all centers around some very loose plot, usually summed up in like two to three sentences. 332 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,000 Yeah, I think that's kind of how I feel about it, too. 333 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,000 My biggest beef with this is that it was fucking like two hours long. 334 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,000 But give me give me a tight 80 on this movie. 335 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000 And I think that this could be pretty fun. 336 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:15,000 Yeah. Now, if you just skip the first scene, save yourself on some minutes right there. 337 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:20,000 That's true. That's also the first scene ends with the three drive angry and silver. 338 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:25,000 Yeah, they kind of roll in like an old Windows 98 screensaver. 339 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:31,000 Well, OK, that's what. Yeah, that's about the era of visual fidelity you're getting from the special effects in this film. 340 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,000 Yeah, it's awesome. 341 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,000 And there's like there are a lot of fun scenes in the film, like especially fun violent scenes. 342 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:44,000 There's a scene where Nicholas Cage is having sex with women and he's fully clothed and she is fully not. 343 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000 And getting it to. Yeah. 344 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:58,000 And now, yeah, that's when Jonah King's like crew breaks into the room and he just starts like shooting up the place while still and never stops fucking. 345 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000 And he's got a big old cigar in his mouth. Yeah. 346 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,000 It's like a huge cigar and a bottle of whiskey. 347 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:10,000 And he's just railing this woman and murdering everybody really this one with his like pants on and everything. 348 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,000 Yeah. Yeah. I'm just going to share my favorite quote right now. 349 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,000 So we can stop dancing. Yes. 350 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,000 She's like, you know, why don't you take your clothes off? 351 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:25,000 I mean, you just like cigar in his mouth is like, I never disrobe before a gunfight door kicked in and he just pulls a gun and shoots the guy in the head. 352 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,000 For most of the scene, she's still like, give it to me. 353 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,000 Give it to me. Like how she's in the throes of. She was in the throes of passion. 354 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,000 It's only at the end where she's just like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 355 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:42,000 Meanwhile, in the room next door, Amber Heard is forcing some dude to like do her nails. 356 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,000 And he also speaks naked while he does it. Yeah. He was naked. 357 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:50,000 She was fully clothed. Yeah. It was weird. It's so weird film. 358 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000 There were some weird choices. Yeah. 359 00:19:52,000 --> 00:20:01,000 I will say one of my favorite scenes in terms of just visual and fun scenes is the Winnebago chase when he's like gets out of the warehouse and he's chasing her down. 360 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,000 The woman Amber Heard was fighting gets thrown from the Winnebago. 361 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:12,000 She like has a gun. She runs out of the middle of the road after Nick had drives by, gets down on one knee, aims, start shooting. 362 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:16,000 And then one of her cohorts in a car just slams into her. 363 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,000 She just gets pancakes real fast. It was awesome. 364 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:24,000 But it's super blurry because it's 3D. Yeah, it's so bad. So you don't get to see it. 365 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:31,000 I watched this movie twice. And by the time the last last thing comes around, I just don't care anymore. 366 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:39,000 There's there's there's fun generic action like when his car comes like blasting over the wall through the fucking heart of Graham. 367 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,000 Yeah, they're big effigy. Yeah. They've got a big effigy. 368 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:48,000 And the Bambark. Yeah. Yeah. And just like goes and just a star slams down on a couple of nude cultists. 369 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,000 And then he just starts driving around at this point. I'm just over it. 370 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000 I'm just like, OK, let's just let's just get to the end. 371 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:57,000 And I kind of blacked out the end of it altogether. OK. 372 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:02,000 In the context of this scene, I want to talk about the the God killer because they bring it out. 373 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:10,000 And, you know, that's their weapon of choice against the accountant trying to get him sent back to hell because that's the only thing that'll do it. 374 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:15,000 But through, you know, happenstance, the accountant ends up with the gun. 375 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:22,000 He's got Amber Heard. He's like, Nick Cage, Milton, you got to go out there and like fucking kill everybody. 376 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:29,000 Do your thing. And Milton's like, why should I do that for you? And he's like, well, no matter what, I win this way. 377 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,000 You have a chance to get what you want to. 378 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:43,000 So he drives his car out there and he starts slamming into people and in the fight with Jonah, the God killer, you know, comes about and it's, you know, here and there. 379 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:47,000 They're really for a gun that only has three bullets. They established that before. 380 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:52,000 They are incredibly fast and loose with how they're going to use those bullets. 381 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:57,000 Like, yeah, they take one shot in a moving car earlier trying to kill the accountant. 382 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:02,000 Yeah. But you're in a moving car and you go for a headshot in a one shot kill gun. 383 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,000 Yeah. You could have just shot his car. That probably would have done it. 384 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,000 Yeah. But then we wouldn't have gotten to see the God killer. 385 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:17,000 That's true. But then, like in this last scene, like Amber Heard tries to shoot somebody. Well, she does shoot somebody. 386 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:27,000 It has a hell of a kick. So it throws her back. And then Nicholas Cage finally gets it and he uses it to shoot Jonah, Jonah, the Jonah. 387 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:35,000 And it sucks in the first guy that got killed with it. He like got thrown into a car and then it was a huge explosion. 388 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,000 He gets started with the Winnebago. Yeah. 389 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:43,000 Yeah. And then when Jonah gets shot with it, he kind of gets lifted up and then there's like a little like black hole behind him. 390 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:50,000 And then he explodes in the back. And they do a really bad CG like Raiders of the Lost Ark, like skeletonizing. 391 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:54,000 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Terrible. But they had to get that skull so Nick Cage could drink the beer out. 392 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,000 Yeah. And he said that he wouldn't have a beer until he get drinking out of Jonah's skull. 393 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:02,000 And he does know like beer pouring out of the eye hole and everything. 394 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:06,000 And then at the end of the film, when he's like going to throw it away, he stops and like pockets it. 395 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,000 Yeah. So he can take it back to hell with him. Yeah. I thought that was kind of cool. I enjoyed that. 396 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:14,000 I enjoyed like the last the last conversation with him in the account at the end is great. 397 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:18,000 Nick Cage is talking about how if the devil puts him back in that hole, he'll escape again. 398 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:22,000 And the accountants like, I'm looking forward to that. 399 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:28,000 I do like when he does go and meets up with a low rent Steve Austin. 400 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:34,000 Just like what happened here? It's like this guy kicked my ass and this son of a bitch. 401 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:42,000 It's like and then just the hands like some bitch weird up and down, like almost cagey performance. 402 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:55,000 My favorite part about their scene together was definitely when he slammed the handle of the baseball bat through Stone Cold's shoulder and just like pinned him to the wall. 403 00:23:55,000 --> 00:24:01,000 And the guy's like, why is everybody hurting me? That was awesome. 404 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:07,000 I think my favorite moment with the accountant is after he gets the the God killer shot, you know, pot shot at him. 405 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:12,000 And then he gets run off a bridge or something. And then these quote unquote teenagers show up. 406 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:17,000 Well, they're just stoners. Yeah. And to one of them, he's like, I won't see you until you're 73 or something like that. 407 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:22,000 The other one, he's like, I'll see you in three weeks. Yeah. What does that mean? 408 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:26,000 No, like he was the best part. Oh, and Nick, you mentioned this earlier. 409 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,000 We didn't really talk about it when we're talking about bad CG. 410 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,000 So the cops are there to kill Milton Piper. 411 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:38,000 And then the accountant comes in in a hydrogen truck that is the worst CG I've ever seen. 412 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:46,000 And he like rolls it over some cop cars so Milton Piper can drive underneath it and then it explodes. 413 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:53,000 But as he's rolling over, he like pops out of he just casually steps out the door onto another vehicle cop car. 414 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,000 The accountant rules. Yeah. He should get a movie. 415 00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:01,000 I was actually thinking about how much better this movie could have been if it had been a team up. 416 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:05,000 Like if Nicholas Cage escaped, the accountant comes out to get him. 417 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:10,000 They align goals early on. Those two go forward. 418 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:14,000 And Amber Heard is trying to get her car back that they stole. 419 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:19,000 So she's just like crazy white trash lady like chasing my car. 420 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,000 And these two like I mean, she hasn't done anything. 421 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:28,000 So they're not going to kill her or anything, but she's just a eternal thorn in their side. 422 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,000 That'd be a much better movie and less amber hurt. I'm sure. 423 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:37,000 I just want to talk real quick about some of the weird reasons that Kate did this movie because there are some fun ones. 424 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:42,000 The first one and most important one is he got to have his eye shot out in the film. Yeah, which was cool. 425 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:50,000 He's like he was really obsessed with this idea and was having trying to convince directors to let this be a part in a film for a while. 426 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:59,000 Oh, man. Can you imagine if he had gotten his eye shot out in Ghost Rider, then like he's got the bullet in his eye. 427 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:04,000 So then he like Ghost Rider is out. So he's just a skull and shakes the bullet out. 428 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:10,000 I didn't actually I would have liked that. I just goes. 429 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:17,000 I didn't write I didn't write down the other movie that he filmed around the same time where he was asking the director to like let him get shot in the eye with an arrow. 430 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000 So he was just really into this idea. 431 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:28,000 He signed on to this film because in his first meeting with the director, like within the first paragraph of the pitch was you're going to get your eye shot out. 432 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:36,000 He's like, I'm in. Also, Nick Cage, his oldest son, contributed the title song Drive Angry, who had been in a couple of black metal bands at this point. 433 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,000 That's cool. Yeah. Nick, did you have a quote? 434 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:47,000 Oh, I did. It was actually when he got shot in the eye and he's sitting up later when he meets up with Amber Heard again. 435 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:51,000 And she's like, oh, you're dead. He's just sitting there and he's just like, it's still in there. 436 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:57,000 I can I can feel it in my head. Yeah, that's a pretty good one. 437 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:03,000 Same conversation. I'm talking to Amber Heard and he's like, and she's asking like, were you ever really in prison? 438 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:10,000 Is anything you told me true? And he's ignoring. He's like, oh, you're just going to ignore me. I'm going to try. 439 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:19,000 I do like also when he's in the diner originally, and he does this a couple of times where he's like coffee black with sugar. 440 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,000 Yeah, they must not have sugar in hell. All right. 441 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:28,000 So how many cultist beer skulls out of 10 do you rank this one? 442 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,000 Three, six. OK, interesting. 443 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:36,000 Is that the new rating system for this one? 444 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,000 Cultist beer skulls. I like it. 445 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:44,000 I guess we've established that it's a 36 on a scale to 100. That's not right. 446 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,000 That's terrible math. Why don't you tell us about stolen? 447 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:56,000 Stolen. Stolen is a heist film, so it automatically gets four cultist beer skulls out of 10 for me. 448 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,000 How many how many gold ingots does it get? 449 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:03,000 I love heists. No. So stolen. 450 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:11,000 Nicolas Cage plays Will Montgomery, renowned jewelry thief slash like Safecracker. 451 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:15,000 Yeah, he's just a cat burglar. Yeah, but he's got skills. 452 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,000 So there is a good cat burglar. 453 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:23,000 So in New Orleans, they're staged to rob a jewelry store. 454 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:27,000 But when the cops show up, they're not in a jewelry store. They're in the bank. 455 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:31,000 They rob 10 million dollars during their escape. His partner. 456 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,000 They are seen by an old man who the partner wants to kill. 457 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,000 And Will's like, you know, we're not murderers. 458 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,000 And the part is kind of going back to jail. 459 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:45,000 So Will shoots his partner in the leg. 460 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,000 Russell's gone away from him. He gets shot in the leg. 461 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000 But so either way, they get separated. 462 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:54,000 Really fun chase with Will with the money. Will gets cornered. 463 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000 He drives backwards up a ramp. 464 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,000 Yeah, that doesn't sound exciting at all. 465 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:03,000 Sorry, guys, he drove backwards up a ramp. 466 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,000 But has to dispose of the 10 mil before he gets arrested. 467 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,000 Eight years later, gets out of prison. 468 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,000 Everyone wants to know where the 10 mil is. 469 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,000 He just wants to see his daughter, goes to see his daughter. 470 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:17,000 She's mad at him because, you know, he's a loser who spent eight years in jail. 471 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,000 Well, she's 15. Yeah. Right. That also bad. 472 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,000 And you brought her like a dumb teddy bear. It's like, come on, man. 473 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,000 The last time he talked, we're there talking about care bears. 474 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:30,000 Yeah. But still, I mean, eight years ago, she clearly hasn't come to visit him. 475 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,000 So he doesn't know anything about her. He's just trying to be a nice dad. 476 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,000 Yeah, I get the gesture. 477 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,000 I just feel like you probably could have done some better research. 478 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:44,000 Yeah. But his ex partner, who everyone thinks is dead, isn't dead, 479 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:48,000 kidnaps the daughter, throws her in drugs and throws her in the back of a taxi 480 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,000 and is driving around New Orleans with her. 481 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:55,000 And he's got 12 hours to come up with the 10 mil or else. 482 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,000 Nicolas Cage, Will Montgomery, Mark Valley. 483 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:02,000 I just want to mention Mark Valley because you don't see Mark Valley that often. 484 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:07,000 I like Mark Valley. How about Barry Shabaka Henley? 485 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:11,000 I watched this movie. I got like 30 minutes in and then I had to kind of jump around 486 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:15,000 because I had other shit going on. Was he just the old man at the bank? 487 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,000 Yeah. OK, cool. OK. 488 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:21,000 I was saying there's two African-American men in this IMDb. 489 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,000 There is the taxi driver. 490 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:28,000 Oh, yeah. OK. Bertrand's the taxi driver. So, yeah, Barry Shabaka Henley. 491 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:32,000 That is one of my favorite scenes. So Will's trying to escape from the cops. 492 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:36,000 He kidnaps a taxi driver, takes a taxi driver hostage 493 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,000 and uses that taxi driver to try and get the GPS location of Vincent. 494 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:44,000 The taxi driver is like talking to dispatch and Nicolas Cage has got him at gunpoint, 495 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:49,000 like feeding him lines. Yeah. And I'm like, I thought this was going to become a buddy comedy at one point. 496 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:53,000 This also came out in 2012. So like, these movies came out around the same time. 497 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,000 Do you think this was going to be like the new Die Hard 2? Could have been. 498 00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:02,000 I think the only other characters that we didn't really hit on Danny Houston is the FBI agent. 499 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:08,000 Tim Harland. Which the first time I saw him, I was like, oh, it's Stryker from X-Men. 500 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,000 And then that's who that is. And my favorite character, 501 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:17,000 just because I always laugh when I see this guy is MC Ganey playing Hoyt, who's their like tech guy. 502 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:23,000 But I always laugh when I see him because I always think about the movie sideways where you see his penis. 503 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:27,000 All right. So two dongs in this podcast. Double dong. 504 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,000 You can rate this podcast two dongs out of ten. 505 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:35,000 It's a weird number for a podcast with three male hosts. But here we are. Two dongs. 506 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:39,000 Spend some time in a cult. One of them is stumpy. 507 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:44,000 I'm already invested because I just I love heist movies and I especially love bad heist. 508 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:48,000 And there's some bad heisting going on in this film and I love it. Yeah. 509 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:55,000 Vincent wants the money and will hurt the money because he knew if he got caught with the 10 mil, he'd serve more time. 510 00:31:55,000 --> 00:32:01,000 So there is no money. So ultimately, he has to get some of the crew back together to rob the same bank 511 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:06,000 and getting the gang back to steal the gold that was in the bank eight years ago. 512 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,000 Well, it's twenty seven pounds per brick. It's heavy. 513 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:13,000 You can't just move it willy nilly. But like it's already on a table, Sean. 514 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,000 What more do you want? The whole plan is to go and steal that gold. 515 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:21,000 At no point is he ever concerned that maybe it was moved somewhere. Maybe it was just there for holding. 516 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:26,000 Yeah. Maybe they moved the table 10 feet. That too. That would have been great. 517 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:30,000 But he like burns through the floor with like like a plasma cutter. Yeah. 518 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:36,000 I don't know. And then just starts melting the gold to pour down and just into the sewer water to cool. 519 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:42,000 I know something about metal melting and trying to melt down metal and it's not how it works. 520 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,000 Just burn it. Well, I don't know. 521 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:50,000 Sometimes with like a plasma torch and stuff and get like slag and stuff. 522 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:56,000 Oh, man. On construction sites, it's always super cool when they're doing like when the iron workers 523 00:32:56,000 --> 00:33:02,000 and ultimate apes are up there like cutting something with a plasma torch and like the slags falling down. 524 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:09,000 But you've got puddles and stuff on the lower floor and they don't put up any kind of like safety precautions, 525 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:13,000 but it'll just hit the ground and just like explode. It's awesome. 526 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:18,000 OK, so yeah, Vincent is wig the wig he's got. 527 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:22,000 So he got shot in the legs and now he lost his leg. He's got a persistent cough. 528 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:27,000 Just his life has not been good. Yeah. Well, it's also funny because he's bitching every time. 529 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,000 He's like, I look so bad. It's like he doesn't look that bad. Yeah. 530 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:34,000 He just cleaned himself up, but he blames everything on Nick Cage. Yep. 531 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:38,000 I did have a note that says, honestly, Vincent doesn't look that bad. 532 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,000 Oh, he melted. Oh, yeah. 533 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:50,000 No, he gets lit on fire, hit by a car shot and still has enough strength to like take a shirt off and fight in the water. 534 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:55,000 That was weird when he was topless in the in the water fight in the end. 535 00:33:55,000 --> 00:34:01,000 Vincent's ultimate revenge against the cage is when Nick Cage shows up with the money, Vincent like pours a bunch of gas on the car 536 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,000 and like lights the car with Nick Cage's daughter still in it. 537 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:08,000 They tussle. Nick Cage gets in the car and instead of just trying to pop the trunk, 538 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:13,000 drives it into the water where it slowly sinks, not to the point where it's submerged. 539 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,000 Yes, it doesn't put the fire out. It's still on fire. 540 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:25,000 And you see Vincent like walking to the water's edge and then 30 seconds later, Vincent pops out of the water with a tire iron and no shirt. 541 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:29,000 Yeah, I kind of made a note. I just said world's shittiest Terminator. 542 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:37,000 Yeah, exactly. I don't know. It's it's a kind of. Yeah, it moves along quickly. 543 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:43,000 It's got pretty good. It's like 90 minutes. Yeah. Man, does New Orleans infrastructure suck? 544 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:52,000 So there's a few on foot chase sequences where Nick Cage like jump, like jumps, like a two foot gap from roof to roof and his leg like shoots through the floor. 545 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:58,000 I mean, in New Orleans and yeah, the buildings are in pretty shitty repair and the infrastructure of that city sucks. 546 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:04,000 Yeah. So when he went through that, I was just like, yeah, I could see that happening. Dumb choice. 547 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:15,000 Nick Cage goes to the feds for help. And of course, they don't believe them, but they do believe him because the main fed Harland does think that Will's a good guy. 548 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:20,000 So they're trying to catch him the entire movie. They know he's trying to rob a bank. They know he did rob the bank. 549 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,000 They have caught him red handed, but he's bleeding out because he's been shot in the gut. 550 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:28,000 The daughter's like, you're not going to send my dad back to jail. Like why? 551 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:33,000 Vincent stole the money, even though they have evidence otherwise. Yeah. 552 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:37,000 And then but at the end of the film, they're still spying on him, trying to catch him with evidence. 553 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:46,000 I mean, they're still the FBI. Yeah. That last scene, I was kind of dying because the two FBI agents are watching through binoculars and one of those. 554 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:50,000 Mark Valley's like, you know, keep because Nick Cage finds a chunk of gold still. 555 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:55,000 It's like, keep the gold so we can arrest you. And Harland's just like, don't do it. Don't do it. Throw it. Throw it. 556 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:59,000 They're going, don't throw it. And then he goes to throw it. Do it. Stop. 557 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:04,000 He goes back to the table, talks to his old partner and she's like, well, you can keep it and go back to jail. 558 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:10,000 And he's like, you're right. Stands back up and throws it in the water. And Harland's like, oh, thank you. Now I can rest. 559 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:16,000 And it turns out he threw a pine cone in the water and kept the gold. Yeah. Bad detective work, FBI guys. 560 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:24,000 Yeah. Pine cones float. It was a really big pine cone. And it's a chunk of gold. You'd think that it would look like you threw that. 561 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:29,000 Yeah, it would be effort. Yeah. A lot of effort to throw at his body. 562 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:33,000 Because when he has the duffel bag full of gold, he's like, yeah, yeah. 563 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:40,000 Why didn't he plan for like a furniture dolly? They were in a sewer. It still would have rolled. Yeah. 564 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:45,000 No, I mean, I mean, we're going to. Yeah. This movie's got some holes. What to plot. 565 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:51,000 I mean, he put a lot of thought into everything except for. Yeah. Oh, because I'm going to drag a duffel bag. 566 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,000 Eight years planning this heist. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. 567 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:58,000 Well, that's OK. If that's our only complaint, I suppose that's fine. 568 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:09,000 And the only actual police work in this movie when they're trying to figure out where Vincent could maybe like have set up a meeting because he's a taxi driver, they get the records from the taxi company of where he stopped. 569 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:13,000 Police work. Police work. That's more police work than you see in most Batman movies. 570 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,000 True enough. Yeah. Or most Nick Cage movies. Also true. Yeah. 571 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:25,000 But how often is he a policeman? More often than not, I think that statement is provably wrong. 572 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:32,000 Yeah, we have the data more often than not. Well, he's he's not a cop in either of these movies. No, but he is a cop whenever he can be a cop. 573 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,000 You'll be a cop whenever he fucking wants to be a cop. 574 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:40,000 Shut the fuck up. What's the one where he's a cop in Alaska? Frozen ground. 575 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:45,000 He was asked to play the serial killer. He said, no, I want to play the cop. There are a lot of cops and usually they shoot first. 576 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:49,000 Yeah. Fuck the police. As they did in Drive Angry. 577 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:53,000 It's like now when I tell you to shoot out his tires, what I mean is shoot his head. 578 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:57,000 So believe me when I tell you shoot out his time. 579 00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:01,000 I just like how he said that to he's like aim for the tires. 580 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:06,000 I don't know. Do you have a quote for this film, Nick? I do. Oh, God. 581 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:12,000 I didn't write them down. I just memorized them. So we're going to edit out some silence. 582 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,000 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 583 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,000 I can't think when you make me think like that. I don't know. 584 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,000 There was a quote in this movie that was pretty decent. 585 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:26,000 Watch it for yourself. Try and guess and drop down in the comments and tell me what you think my favorite quote was. 586 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:31,000 All right. Well, my favorite quote was when he finds the IT, the tubby IT guy. 587 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:35,000 He's got no, you know, got on. He's like, you tell me where she is. 588 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:39,000 I'll blow your lunch all over this carpet. My favorite quote of the movie. 589 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:53,000 I don't know if it's a good quote, but it's when he's getting the GPS for Vincent and he's had the taxi driver like call into the cage and dispatcher and kicks the taxi driver out of the car and just just gets on my phone. 590 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:57,000 It's just like the phone walkie talkie. My brain stopped working. 591 00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,000 It's just like, thanks. 592 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,000 And the dispatcher just goes, look here. 593 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,000 You just turned white on me all of a sudden. Who that is? 594 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,000 Who that is? 595 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:15,000 All right. What would you guys do differently if you were in charge of this heist? 596 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:19,000 Oh, if I was going to steal all that stuff, I would have brought a dolly. 597 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:23,000 Simple, easy fix. Yeah. Everything else, tits. 598 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:28,000 Maybe some silicone molds for the gold to fall into so I could have fun shaped gold bits. 599 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,000 I like that. That's nice versus just the weird lump. Yeah. 600 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:36,000 Lumps are dumb. Oh, I don't know. Unless they're lady lumps. 601 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:40,000 So you'd have gold for tits. 602 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:48,000 Yeah, I think Fergie would approve the initial heist up until the potential murder was pretty well done. 603 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:53,000 Breaking into the toy store next to the diamond exchange when they were really going to the bank on the next block. 604 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,000 That was pretty sure that was pretty good. 605 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,000 And your anchor gun was kind of cool. And it was cool. 606 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,000 The heist were pretty on pretty great. Yeah, the heist worked out. 607 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:06,000 Oh, even when Riley's like pickup truck and they're driving away from the gold heist, they get on. 608 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:12,000 She gets on a ferry like you don't try and rest until they're on Louisiana soil. 609 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:19,000 Yeah. And she they pull her over and they open the passenger side door and she's just stole a mannequin, a mannequin with a cigarette. 610 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:25,000 Yeah. Hi, boys. And like they don't arrest her even though, you know, I mean, they don't have anything on her. 611 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:29,000 I guess if they had looked, they would have found a piece of gold in her like the back of her truck. 612 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000 And also, like, that doesn't really stop cops from arresting people. 613 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,000 Oh, yeah, they do it pretty willy nilly. 614 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:38,000 Fucking dicks. I think I had more fun with this film. 615 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:41,000 I was more engaged by this film. Yeah, it's more engaging. 616 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:49,000 Drive Angry just kind of suffered from having certain chunks of the movie that they just dragged and it would lose me. 617 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:54,000 This one, I was able to stay pretty, pretty on point the whole time. 618 00:40:54,000 --> 00:41:01,000 I do like how early in the film when he's trying to avoid the police, he just puts on a mask from a stand. 619 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:05,000 He's still wearing all the same clothes and they were literally just 15 feet behind him. 620 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:09,000 Yeah, but that always works because cops are dumb. Yeah, that's true. 621 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:14,000 He also knocks out Mark Valley and another FBI agent like handcuffs them into an elevator. 622 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:23,000 It was fun and sent them up to the top floor, which I mean, isn't like that big of a deal because somebody would have called an elevator and it would have. 623 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,000 That was my thing is like, like, probably someone on the next floor needs an elevator. 624 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:33,000 Yeah, if you're going from like the fourth floor up to the 37th floor, it was like the 67th floor, something like that. 625 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:37,000 Stupid high number. Somebody would have called an elevator going up, I'm sure. 626 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,000 And it would have automatically pinged to that floor. 627 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:47,000 But that's a dumb thing to nitpick in a movie where they melted gold with a plasma cutter and dragged it out of a sewer. 628 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:51,000 Also, who are you going to sell that gold to? I'm assuming they have a fence. 629 00:41:51,000 --> 00:42:03,000 Yeah, you would have to. But you would probably, you know, melt it down and change it up, resmelt it, maybe make a giant golden hammer or Fergie Tits as we discussed. 630 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:08,000 Fergalicious. In terms of what I'd want to watch again, I'd probably say Stolen. 631 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:16,000 Yeah, I'd watch this one again, too. I mean, Drive Angry's cage here. Yeah, but it's there's some good cage in this, I feel. 632 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:22,000 There was something. God, I'm going to I'm going to come back at the top of the next episode with my quote from this movie. 633 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:28,000 It was pretty decent. You can just send me a audio message or something and I'll just cut it in. It's totally different. 634 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:33,000 Yeah, that's OK. My my audio is inconsistent from episode to episode anyway. 635 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:37,000 True enough. Because I don't know how to sit in front of something and sit still. 636 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:41,000 Oh, also, fun fact, same director as Con Air. They worked together before. 637 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:46,000 Oh, yeah. I mean, Con Air obviously is a much better movie. Yeah. 638 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:54,000 Also, I bring down here fun facts. Number one is just I don't I don't think I found it and we'll cut right there. 639 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,000 No. OK, so that's good. I mean, stolen advances. 640 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,000 Yeah. Next week, we are back in the funny bracket. 641 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:06,000 So we've got Peggy Sue got married and the family man with a guest. 642 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:11,000 Perhaps we will have a guest. Yeah, we'll see if he can tear himself away from his family from his family. 643 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:17,000 Yeah, much like much like drive angry this episode kind of ends just all right. 644 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:24,000 Yeah. Thanks for listening. We love you all, especially our patrons, Josh, Sean, Josie and Rico. 645 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:34,000 I love three of them. You hate Josie. Yes. Cold. Ice cold. Love you, Josie. 646 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,000 Mission. My hands were incredibly hot. 647 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:41,000 I was just sitting here getting beat to death by Sean's voice. 648 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:45,000 I was like, maybe I can do this. Oh, yeah, I can reach it. 649 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,000 Now I am the producer. 650 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:52,000 Wait, no, I'm not going to do the work. Good. Now I can be talent. 651 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:56,000 Good luck. I need someone. 652 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,000 Sean has something to say, too. I do. 653 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:06,000 You were going to apologize, but no, I know it's not heartfelt. Oh, yes. No, I want to apologize for for. 654 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,000 You don't even know. 655 00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:12,000 I things were said about a fellow, Sean, who I don't know. 656 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:20,000 And for that, I am sorry if he's buttered. 657 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,000 We decided that we can say butter. I can't remember. 658 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,000 Was that on this podcast? I don't remember. 659 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,000 I don't remember much anymore. 660 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,000 The days are just blending together. It's all Nick Cage at this point. 661 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:59,000 I think the appropriate term is sex worker.